#i think for the most part ill be putting s class heroine out of my mind so i can concentrate on my studies

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

btw guys my final semester is starting so i'm going to go quiet again :') esp since the webtoon just went on hiatus

i'll be back again in may/june!

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners: Part III

~Or~

A Somewhat Indecisive Review of “Emma” (Miramax, 1996)

I have a feeling this review is gonna be a little harder for me to write. Everyone knows that recaps and reviews are most entertaining when the writer has an intense dislike (or intense feeling of any kind) for the drama they’re reviewing. It falls to other writers to pan or praise this film as they will, but I simply don’t have many particularly strong feelings about it at all. I have neither that repulsed dislike for this movie such as I did for Emma 1997, nor that disappointed frustration as for certain aspects of Emma. 2020, but neither do I have a deep, profound love and appreciation for it as I do for Emma 2009.  

Written and Directed by American Screenwriter, director and actor, Douglas McGrath, Emma (1996) is rather what one expects it to be: a 90’s romance film. Perhaps it’s because I had expectations due to the era in which it was made, but I think I have a tendency to excuse some of the problems with this film. There are many unnecessary additions (for comedy’s sake usually and often quite cringe-y) and one definitely can’t claim that the dialogue hasn’t been tampered with. I don’t normally side with the “I do so miss Austen’s biting wit” crowd but, by ‘eck I felt it this time. That’s because Austen’s Biting Wit™ just doesn’t suit a fluffy 90’s chick flick (which this film is in a way that other big screen Austen adaptations of the time just aren’t – and I think approaching this film from the 90’s chick flick perspective is probably the best way to digest it.) This version, more than any other (except perhaps 2009) brings the concept of Emma-as-Matchmaker to the fore with a particular emphasis precisely because it’s a concept that fits well with the rom-com style of filmmaking used here.

The bones of this review, like my review for the ITV version, were written six years ago following my initial viewing only a select number of portions survive from that review (which is still on IMDb).

As with all my reviews I'll be comparing the script, characterizations and plot to the book and commenting on the authenticity and attractiveness of the costumes, and suitability of the houses and sets.

Let’s dive in.

Cast & Characterization

Emma is arguably the easiest of Austen’s works to read because of Emma’s generally good (if condescending and overly self-confident) character, and Mr. Knightley’s sober, mature but exceedingly pleasant manner. I had my doubts about Gwyneth Paltrow playing an Austen heroine, but I at least had faith in Jeremy Northam’s ability to portray the mature Mr. Knightly. My expectations were not entirely disappointed in either case.

My prevailing feeling about this film is that it’s not so much set in Jane Austen’s Regency England, but in an American fantasy of what Regency England was like. Perhaps the biggest factor that reinforces this impression is (of course) the casting choice for our leading lady, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Freckled, ruddy and thin as a twig, Gwyenth didn’t quite, to my mind, fit the physical description of Emma, who is supposed to be “The picture of health” according to Mrs. Weston. Add to this the Regency beauty ideal of a soft and shapely figure with regular features. Fair hair was generally preferred (and I have always imagined Emma as blond, although I’m given to understand that Austen’s idea of pretty generally favored dark hair), so I can’t fault Gwynnie there. What I can fault though is her so-so British accent.

I recently learned that the reason McGrath thought Paltrow would be a good choice was because she’s the only Texan he’d ever met who’d managed to entirely throw off her native accent; I guess he decided that if she could do that she could do any accent work? I guess? Seems questionable to me.

You know Joely Richardson was considered for this part? Gorgeous, refined (British) GODDESS Joely Richardson was passed over because Gwyenth managed to shake an embarrassing accent.

I hate American directors.

I’m not sure if it’s just part of the accent, or her attempt to sound upper class, but on this most recent re-watch it hit me for the first time how very nasal many of her line deliveries are. She also has this problem with looking (and sounding) sort of vapid and… just what is happening here?

Is she having a stroke at the end there?

A bigger problem than Emma’s casting, however, is her characterization.

Part of the above mentioned script tampering is in lockstep with some of the issues with Emma’s characterization here. Her very teenager-esque swings from vowing to never make another match again to immediately trying to think of another guy to set Harriet up with, and her getting carried away in potential scenarios “But if he seems sad I shall know that John has advised him not to marry Harriet! I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How could John let him do that? I hate John!” (Especially when you never even really get to meet John Knightley in this version? Ugh, pass me with this shit) is so bizarrely childish it’s a little hard to stomach. She spends the movie going back and forth between mature and manipulative to childish and naïve and it just… doesn’t work for me.  Emma can be all of these things but the transition from one extreme to another here seems a bit disjointed to me.

Knightley was a bit of a disappointment to me in this version. That’s not Jeremy Northam’s fault because I can’t think of a better choice they could have made. McGrath showed much better judgment with his choice for Mr. Knightley than he did with Emma.

My biggest problem with this interpretation was how laid back he was when he was supposed to chastising Emma. Their quarrels became more like mere disagreements so the proposal line of lecturing her and her bearing it as no other woman would have isn’t entirely earned. Even in the big scene at Box Hill where Knightley is really supposed to lay into Emma, he starts off pretty solidly, but by the end so doe-eyed and apologetic it fails to deliver the sting of rebuke that is Emma’s biggest learning moment in the story. Perhaps they were trying to go for a more disappointed feel (the kind that makes you feel worse than being shouted at because you really respect the person you let down) but it just didn’t come through for me.

Also of note is the fact that, (I assume) because John Knightley isn’t really allowed time to be a character in this film, McGrath took some of John’s introverted tendencies and transplanted them into his more convivial older brother (“I just want to stay home, where it’s cozy.” – I mean I feel that, but this isn’t something George Knightley would say.) 

Onto the less central characters

I question also the choice of Toni Colette for Harriet Smith. I mean I actually liked her performance more on this watch than previously but I just don’t think she’s pretty enough for Harriet, and she looks a bit clumsy (though that might have more to do with her costumes.)

I also noted that McGrath bumps Harriet’s comprehension skills up just a scooch. Emma never has to explain the “Courtship” riddle to her, Harriet figures it out on her own after a while, while she never manages to in the book.

Now we come to the crux of Jane Fairfax, played by Polly Walker. I don’t care for this choice. My issue is the simple fact that she just isn’t believable to me as a demure, wronged character like Jane Fairfax. Seriously she looks like she would sooner throw Frank across the room than take his cruel teasing, and not in the subtle way that Olivia Williams managed to. They never even utilized her by including some of Jane’s more pointed returns to Frank’s jabs, which they even managed to squeeze into the massively cut down TV movie.    

Speaking of Frank; Ewan McGregor, though generally delightful, was so under-used. Frank and Jane’s plotline always kind of gets shafted in Theatrical release adaptations of this story. It’s not as bad here as it is in say, the 2020 adaptation (they were in that version so little I actually forgot what their actors looked like), but it’s still pretty stunted.

I find it interesting that Ewan McGregor himself thinks his performance in this movie isn’t good; and I’ll agree it’s not his best (certainly it’s no Obi-wan Kenobi) but I thought he did a pretty good job with obviously unfamiliar material

Also if the Davies screenplay of ’97 made Frank’s character too caddish, I think this version didn’t make him caddish enough. I mean he’s hardly around enough to really develop his flirtation with Emma, and they merged Strawberry Picking and Box Hill into one sequence so we never see Frank’s ill humors. I can perhaps excuse this, since it seems like a nuanced story really wasn’t what McGrath was going for here, I think. This is a lite version of the story; schmaltzy fluff for teenage girls’ movie nights. Frank’s ill humors wouldn’t really have fit the tone of this version at all.

Interestingly enough, though it’s taken me a long time to make this decision, I think Alan Cumming might be the definitive Elton? He’s the only one who doesn’t immediately read as a slime ball from the get go. I mean he’s got all the warning signs that Austen wrote into him, but no more than that. He’s not slinking about greasily or obviously pandering (at first), so Emma’s uneasy realization of what’s really happening here isn’t a hundred miles behind the viewer’s (maybe just fifty).

There are as many Mrs. Eltons out there as there are adaptations of this story, and they’re all pretty great (funky accents aside), but other than the 1997 take, this one might be the least great to me. She’s not nearly pushy enough, because Mrs. Elton would never let Emma prompt the conversation when she could do it herself.

  Also, I think McGrath misunderstands Mrs. Elton’s brand of New Money vulgarity. He has her talking with her mouthful, clanking her utensils on her plate as she eats, putting biscuits which she’s bitten into back onto communal plates, which I think even Mrs. Elton would know not to do. Table manners are pretty basic; the couth that Mrs. Elton lacks is of a more nuanced social kind – for instance, what is and isn’t considered gauche to talk about (like how big one’s brother in law’s house is or how many horses he keeps.)

(A sudden thought has just occurred to me: is Mrs. Elton just a more mean-spirited Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances? “It’s meh sister, Mrs. Suckling! That’s right, the one with an estate in Warwickshire and the two barouche landaus!”)

Sophie Thompson’s Miss Bates is chatty and one of better takes on the character, but lack of necessary background hinders her impact on Emma’s story. The comedy in her scenes is some of the best and actually made me laugh, although I think she was just way too giggly.

Miss Bates’s mother, Mrs. Bates, is played by Sophie Thompson’s real-life mother Phyllida Law in a completely coincidental quirk of casting. (I noted in this film how very much Emma Thompson, Sophie’s older sister looks like their mother.)

My only other serious issue with characterization in this adaptation is the representation of Mr. Woodhouse. He is somehow simultaneously more cheery and more disagreeable than he is in the book. His chiding about the cake at the Weston’s wedding seems more like a scolding rather than an anxious admonishment. In one of the first scenes, during Mr. Woodhouse’s “Poor Miss Taylor” speech, he says he cannot understand why she would want to give up her comfortable life with himself and Emma, to have “mewling children who bring the threat of disease every time they enter or leave the house,” and he says this IN FRONT OF ONE OF HIS TWO DAUGHTERS.

Of course in the book, Mr. Woodhouse does lament Miss Taylor marrying, leaving and even having children – but this is all in the context of the danger childbirth presents to Miss Taylor (And the fact that he can’t stand losing a companion). These are his complaints – not the children themselves. In addition, his elder daughter has quite a fine number of children, all of them very young, of whom Mr. Woodhouse is very fond. He’s a character that needs to be carefully handled because, much like his daughter, it’s very easy for him to become unlikeable.

For the rest of the time, though, he just sort of cheerily laughs and is very at ease, when Mr. Woodhouse, as a chronic hypochondriac should be made anxious by just about everything.

Sets & Surroundings

One thing I find interesting about this adaptation is that the houses they chose to use are all of a very neo-classical Palladian style, which I believe (given her disdain for the contemporary trend of knocking down England’s great houses just to rebuild them in a more fashionable style) Austen may have disliked to some degree.

One such house is Came House in Dorset, which was used as the Woodhouse’s estate, Hartfield. Now Hartfield is, I think, described as a well-built modern house so this could be pretty accurate (although Modern could refer to the red bring, boxy style of Georgian architecture, such as the houses used in the 1997, 2009 and 1972 versions.)

Another, Claydon House in Buckinghamshire played the role of Donwell Abbey. I think this might be the worst exterior ever used for Donwell, from a book accuracy perspective. Utterly Georgian, with its’ square façade, Claydon house sort of directly contradicts Austen description of being “Larger than Hartfield, and totally unlike it, covering a good deal of ground, rambling and irregular…” not only is the architecture totally wrong, so is its’ situation, in Georgian fashion, perched on a hill, when Donwell (a very old building) is supposed to be “Low and sheltered”.

Mapperton House is maybe the grandest house yet used for Mr. Weston’s Randalls (I’ve already covered in my review of Emma (2020) why this is a problem – although in this version, as in the 1997 adaptation, there’s no full panic over the snow, so this is less of a problem, but a house like this is still too grand for the reasonably sized Randalls of the book), but it fits the usual 15th-16th century house type that always seems to be used for Randalls.

A myriad of other great houses were used for interiors, however other than Crichel House (Dorset), which was used for Donwell’s interiors, I can’t find information on which ones where used for what. They include Breakspear House (Harefield), Coker Court (Somerset), Stafford House (Staffordshire) and Syon House & Park (Middlesex).

I really appreciate the interiors which were all very colorful and even included doors and molding painted the same color as the walls which is a very Georgian decorating convention, although it looks odd to the modern viewer.

Costumes & Hair

As a rule, the costumes (Created by Ruth Myers) in this movie are pretty damn good, composition wise, but the arrangement leaves a lot to be desired. Myers talked extensively of wanting the costumes to be colorful and bright like the water colors of the time, which she achieved brilliantly. What I find funny is that she talked about using color as if it would be controversial from a historical accuracy point of view, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

The evening wear is generally excellent

My only question around evening wear here is… what’s up with the waistline on Harriet’s ball gown? Why is it going up in the middle? Toni Collette (who actually gained weight for the role, since Harriet was described as “Reubenesque”) verged on looking a little dumpy throughout the film and awkwardly bumping up her waistline in the middle really didn’t help.

I’m pleased to report that is is the one version where Miss Bates’s evening-wear is allowed to look like evening wear. Even Maiden Aunts wore shorter sleeves and lower necklines at dinner or balls. They fussed her up with some lace gloves and frilly fichus but it follows the conventions of the time. I appreciate that immensely, though I have the sneaking suspicion that it’s because of Sophie Thompson’s age.

At 37 Thompson was an unconventionally young choice for Miss Bates, a character who previously had only been cast as older than 50 (Prunella Scales, who would play the role later in 1996, was 64). Indeed, Douglas McGrath almost passed Thompson over for the role on account of her age, but reconsidered after seeing her in spectacles. It seems possible to me that since Thompson was considered young they dressed her “young” as well.

The daywear is where the costumes start to really fall apart. There are a lot of looks here worn in the day that are VERY not day/outerwear appropriate, especially on Emma, most especially the yellow dress she’s wearing while driving that carriage (which, btw is inappropriate on a whole OTHER level). Can we just talk aboutt he cognative dissonance of bothering to put a bonnet on her when her arms and boobs are just hanging out like that? Like, it would almost have been less egregious to just leave the bonnet where it was.

But then there are a lot of Emma’s day-wear looks that are perfectly suitable and appropriate. What I find ironic about that is that most of the short-sleeved, low-necked “Evening-gowns as day-wear” looks are worn OUTSIDE in the sun and most of the long-sleeved, sun protecting, day-wear appropriate looks are worn INSIDE.  She’s also got a profusion of dangling curls in day-time settings that are also more evening-wear appropriate (to match the dresses, perhaps?)

I’m also pleased to report that even in day-wear Miss Bates gets a break from brown in this version. Her clothes are nice, but not fancy like Miranda Hart’s in Emma. 2020, and I like to think that nice thick shawl with lace overlay is the one mentioned in the book that Jane’s friend Mrs. Dixon sent along home with her for her aunt.

My only problem with Mrs. Elton’s kit is that it’s all perfectly nice, but none of it is overly-nice. There’s no extra trim, no unnecessary lace, not even any bold colors. I hope Myers and McGrath didn’t take Mrs. Elton’s line in the book about her fear of being over-trimmed seriously.

Let’s talk outerwear. There’s a lot of going into town with JUST a shawl on in this movie (usually over short sleeves), and I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s how outer-wear worked in this time period. A shawl is good enough when you’re taking a turn in the garden but not for going out in public into town, unless maybe you’re wearing long sleeves, or perhaps paired with a SPENCER.

Never mind Mrs. Elton’s line about a shocking lack of satin at the end of the movie, I’m more concerned about the shocking lack of spencers. There are precisely three in this film. I counted (and the sleeves on Emma’s look like maybe they’re too long for her?) Mrs. Elton sports the only redingote in the film.

Jane Fairfax is, as always, in her classic Jane Fairfax Blue™,

although she has some nice white gowns at some points too.

Now, onto 

Definitely a bit more colorful than the 97 adaptation. Mr. Knightley benefits most from the addition of colors other than green. He’s even got some smashing waistcoats and a very nice blue evening coat (I couldn’t get very good shots of them though). The problem is; those trousers? NOT. TIGHT. ENOUGH.

Also… you all see it, right? I circled it in red so you should. Yeah. Knightley is dancing in boots. WTF RUTH? Please! You’re better than this! Who dances in Prussians like that? I ask you! (Frank also wears boots to the Cole’s dinner party so that’s two strikes.)

I’m not sold on Frank’s looks. His day-wear is a bit sedate for such a confirmed dandy (I believe he’s called a “coxcombe” in the book?) and his evening wear… well he apparently only has the one look.

And speaking of Frank’s look in this film, I’d like to know at whose doorstep I should lay the blame for what Ewan McGregor himself has called “The Worst Wig Ever”; and why the hair designer in charge decided to model Frank’s aesthetic on a theme of “Chucky meets the Mad Hatter”.

This hairstyle not only looks dreadful, it’s not at all fashionable or authentic to this time period! Fashionable mens’ hair styles at this point were all relatively short. A Beau Brummel coiffeur, or a short Roman style, or a fashionable head of curls like Mr. Elton’s! Not this farmer chic. Robert Martin’s hair is more fashionable than Frank’s!

The tune they chose for Emma and Knightley’s dance is a baroque melody (so a hundred or so years out of fashion) called “Mr. Beveridge’s Maggot” and as is pointed out in the video linked above, and is the same tune and dance used for Lizzie and Darcy’s big dance in Pride and Prejudice (1995).

I get why it was used in P&P because, slow, stately baroque tunes are often used as on-screen short hand for snobbish character like Mr. Darcy. It’s not super intense either, like the baroque tune used in P&P 05, which was chosen for more romantic effect. So why use this kind of “stuck up” tune for what should be a romantic dance? Maybe because it was used in the 95 P&P which became, almost instantly, one of the most popular Austen adaptations?

Quick note on the dancing and music in this movie. I’m not an expert on English Country dance (I’ll outsource that by giving you the usual link to Tea with Cassiane’s analysis on YouTube) but I’ll add my two cents  - I know Cassiane gave this a pretty favorable three full dance slippers but I think the way all of the actors and dancers move looks very poorly rehearsed and kind of sloppy. I think everyone just spread out way too much.

Douglas McGrath’s Script

I have to say one of the things this film did very well and brought to the forefront is how insular Emma’s life is. The opening credit sequence brings this to our attention right away by showing a spinning globe which, once it slows down is shown to be, literally, Emma’s whole tiny world. Hartfield, Donwell, Randalls and Highbury. That’s it. It’s perhaps not a very subtle device, but it does get the job done and very succinctly too.

I would now like to talk about my issues with the script of this movie; I have some problems with it. Very different problems than it’s 1996 counterpart though.

 First let’s go over the comedic device that jumped out to me most in this movie: the awkward pause.

I think it’s only used twice but they both bothered me.

First there’s the pauses while Emma and Mrs. Weston grill Knightley on whether he considers Jane Fairfax romantically. It’s all written as very “OoOoOooo” with Knightley answering their interrogations and then sitting between them awkwardly as they stare him down as, none of his answers giving either Emma or Mrs. Weston satisfaction. This is one of the most teen rom-com moments of the film to me.

Next there’s all the quiet stretches while Emma and Mrs. Elton have tea at Hartfield. I don’t like the use of awkward pauses in this case because (as I mentioned in Mrs. Elton’s characterization section) it’s so ludicrous to me that there are pauses in this conversation at all. Surely the point of Mrs. Elton is that she loves to hear herself talk and her conceited obsession with the idea that everyone around her must only benefit from hearing her opinions. There should be no conceivable reason why Emma should have to prompt conversation like she does in McGrath’s version of this scene, except to derail Mrs. Elton’s constant self-important yammering.

Watching it this time around I found myself wondering exactly what McGrath wanted to do with this film. I mean I’ve been attempting to decipher exactly whether the changes made were conscious and based on artistic vision, or whether they were changed because the source material just flew over McGrath’s Hollywood Director head.

I mean he gets the important plot points across, but there were other scenes that I had issues with: namely, the Archery scene. This is a pretty intense part of the book because Mr. Knightly goes from astonished, to indignant, to truly vexed with Emma in a short period of time. But this scene in the movie is very casual. The part where Emma’s arrow goes wide and into the general direction of Knightley’s dogs, and he takes an opportunity to make a quip and says “try not to kill my dogs” particularly annoyed me. My issue is that this totally ruins the tension of the scene; and why are Knightley’s dogs sitting BEHIND THE TARGETS ANYWAY? Knightley is a sensible man, and one who knows better than to let his dogs rest in a place where stray arrows could hit them!

The dialouge is very jarring because it flips back and forth beetween being alright, and period appropriate and then it will just spring a very modern turn of phrase and pull you completely out of the setting. I know this is something that’s been brought up with the 2009 version as well but maybe it’s because the actors in that version have (in my opinion) better chemistry that it simply doesn't stick out to me as much.

The comedy in general in this movie just makes me cringe a lot of the time (Sophie Thompson’s “oh sorry, napkin” bit notwithstanding). Like the soup thing when Emma and Harriet meet Mr. Elton after visiting the poor, and the random kid that gets tossed into this scene with Emma… just doesn’t work for me.

Wikipedia describes McGrath’s tweaks on Emma and Knightley’s banter (which really weren’t changed that much, textually) as “Enlivened” to make the basis of their attraction more apparent, which… I’m sorry but nothing about the exisiting banter isn’t lively if delivered in a lively manner. And I wouldn’t exactly call Gywneth’s performance lively, because she has to concentrate to keep that accent up.

I mentioned already that what McGrath essentially did with Emma was take Austen’s story, and remove the nuance (Such as lightening Frank’s infractions in his relationship with Jane and, while not totally contradicting, but also not highlighting the economic commentary of the story that is thematic in Austen’s novel) in order to make a straight up 90’s comedic romance film (Which, if you doubt this, look no further than Rachel Portman’s Oscar Winning but very dated score).

My Question is why? Why bother when the SAME STORY had been adapted into a HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL, modernized rom-com THE PREVIOUS YEAR, which actually, even while being set in the 90’s, did the story greater justice, with far more insight and quality?

Emma (1996) was always going to be over-shadowed by Clueless. At the end of the day this whole movie was kind of a futile effort because despite excellent production quality, the actual contents are watered down and, in my own opinion, pretty roundly mediocre.

Final Thoughts

When I first watched both of these versions I came at it from a very one-or-the-other perspective. I forgave McGrath’s film because it was light and colorful and I’d heard Davies’ version praised so highly at that time as the only faithful, definitive version (only to be let down by it in almost every possible way). But coming right down to it now, it’s hard for me to really excuse McGrath’s effort because a version of Emma that doesn’t take itself seriously enough is almost as bad as a version that takes itself too seriously.

It never fails to jump out at me how diametrically opposed these interpretations are, from the characterization right down to the tone and lighting.

McGrath’s Emma is light in every sense of the word, where Davies’ is dark and ponderous. McGrath’s Knightley is laid back where Davies’ is aggressive and ferocious. Frank, in McGrath’s version, is let off easy by the narrative playing down his moodiness, while in Davies there’s an overshadowing dark-cloud of off-putting caddishness.

Ribbon Rating: Tolerable (58 Ribbons)

The more I watch the 1996 adaptations of Emma (invariably back-to-back) the more firmly I am convinced that Andrew Davies’ made for TV film was (in some ways) a direct response to McGrath’s motion picture.

Tone: 7

Casting: 7

Acting: 5

Scripting: 5

Pacing: 4

Cinematography: 4

Setting: 5

Costumes: 6

Music: 5

Book Accuracy: 6

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML fic: Love sick

(Based on this idea I had earlier)

Ladybug was enjoying the night air. She was walking on top of the roof that Chat noir said he would meet her.

After the last akuma attack, Chat noir asked to meet her tonight, he claimed he had something important to tell her.

The red clad heroine agreed to meet him, but her expectations were low. Sure the cat has been noticeably more tame with his flirting as of late, but perhaps it was simply to prepare for a grandiose confession.

She really hoped it wasn't another confession. She cared deeply for her partner, but she was in love with another guy, another guy which she has yet to confess to. The teen heroine thought for a moment, maybe she should take a page out of the cats book. He was tenacious, able to confess multiple times despite her polite rejections. Part of her had to admit she was envious of his grit, it is part of why she can't find herself giving up on Adrien, she needs to at least try to confess to him once. If she could manage that...

She paused that thought as she watched a black cat hero jump and land on the roof several feet away.

“Good evening Bugaboo.” Chat noir greeted with a Cheshire grin.

“Evening Alley cat.” Ladybug returned his greeting with her own nickname for him.

“I am glad you accepted my call tonight.” Chat noir spoke as his smile changed.

The red clad heroine noticed the subtle change.

“Is something the matter chatton?” Ladybug inquired, worried about her friend and crime fighting partner.

“Not at all, its just today is the day I have made a crucial decision.” Chat noir stated firmly.

“A decision?”

Chat noir walked up and took her hand.

“I am giving up pursuing you romantically.” Chat noir confessed.

Ladybug’s eyes went wide, she was not expecting that at all.

“What?”

“I have come to terms with the fact that you do not see me in any romantic light. I wanted to hold up hope, but I realize that you are set on whoever this person you are set on is.”

“I see. I thank you for understanding. I am sorry that I wasn't able to return your feelings.”

“There is no need to apologize. We can't help how we feel. Despite my efforts seeming fruitless, it actually helped me realize my deep feelings for another. Someone that I can't help but find myself more and more drawn to.”

“Wow Chatton, I am really happy for you. I am a bit surprised in all honesty, but I am glad that you have found someone. May I get a name?” Ladybug prodded.

The cat chuckled.

“Now now, no names, you might be able to figure out my identity if my confession to her is a success.” The cat teased. “But I will say that she is one incredible woman.”

“Oh? Well if she was able to steal your heart away from me she must be something.” Ladybug joked.

“Well she is certainly more humble.” Chat noir playfully sassed. “Her kindness and helpfulness are on a level beyond anyone I have ever seen. And I must say her looks are able to rival you Bugaboo.”

Ladybug nodded.

“She sounds like the perfect girl for you.” Ladybug encouraged.

“I would like to think so. She is the only girl to confess to the me as chat noir.” Chat noir said with a softness and sincerity that looked like it meant a lot.

Ladybug paused.

“Wait... confessed to you?”

“Yeah, she confessed to me one night after I helped save her home from an akuma attack. It was quite a surprise. I was sad that I had to turn her down, as I was still in pursuit of you, plus I was a superhero, she was a civilian.” Chat noir explained. “But now I am going to confess to her. If she knew I was going to confess tomorrow, she would likely be stunned.

Ladybug realized who the cat was referring to. That silly cat had fallen for her civilian self. He fell in love with her AGAIN!

“Wait! You can't confess to her!” Ladybug exclaimed in panic.

Chat noir looked at her confused.

“Why not? You were all for it?”

“Superheroes can't date civilians! You said it yourself. Think of the danger.” Ladybug responded.

“Of course I know the danger. I am going to confess to her as my civilian self. I would have to be a colossal idiot to confess to her as a superhero. So there is no danger.”

Ladybug wanted to give some kind of excuse, but that would make her appear as a hypocrite, or worse, he might assume she is jealous.

Chat noir sighed.

“I know its hard losing my affections Bugaboo. But you will always be my partner and the first woman I ever fell in love with.” Chat noir assured.

He kissed her hand and smiled.

“I believe now is a good place to end it. Tomorrow, I am off to confess. And if I am lucky, this alley cat’’s heart will be in the hands of a beautiful girl.” Chat noir exclaimed as he dashed off the rooftop and used his staff to make a dramatic exit.

Leaving Ladybug absolutely stunned.

_______________________________________________________________________

“He is going to confess to me Tomorrow Tikki!” Marinette shouted into her pillow, clearly in emotional distress.

“At least you know that he is in love with the real you and not just a mask.” Tikki answered, the red Kwami was awfully cheerful about the whole situation and was doing her best to hide it.

The designer lifted her head up from the pillow.

“That is true... but I am in love with Adrien. I am gonna have to turn down chat noir again. But this time I will see his actual face. Imagine when the time finally comes and we have to reveal ourselves. He is gonna see me as the girl that rejected him when he thought we were two separate people. It would destroy his poor heart.” Marinette pointed out, frowning and feeling worse as she thought about it. “Thinking about it makes me feel sick with guilt... Sick.”

Marinette had a realization.

“I will pretend to be sick. I can't go to school or leave my room if I am sick. So Chat noir won't be able to confess to me. This will buy me sometime to think of something.” Marinette answered.

“Marinette no.” Tikki responded “You can't fake illness to avoid dealing with things.”

“Its only for one day Tikki. It will give me time to process how to go about this. Maybe Chat noir will see it as a sign to wait on his confession.” Marinette defended her idea.

The ladybug Kwami shook her head.

“I do not think this is a good idea.” Tikki answered. “But if its only one day, I suppose there is nothing too bad. Just keep an eye on the news in case there is an akuma attack.”

“Thanks Tikki.”

_______________________________________________________________________

She wasn't in school today.

The blond model felt a burden on his heart when the seat behind him didn't get filled.

Alya had told him that Marinette wasn't feeling well and that she was going to  be out for the rest of the day.

Adrien was bummed out. He was planing this dramatic confession where he pulls her into the library so they could be alone. Then he would reveal his feelings. He assumed his attempt at confessing today was over, until Ms.Bustier asked if anyone wanted to bring Marinette her homework after school.

Alya was prepared to raise her hand, but stopped when Adrien’s hand shot up.

“I will handle it.” Adrien replied to the teacher, a confident smile on his face. Perhaps this was an opportunity in disguise.

_______________________________________________________________________

“So any ideas on what to do about Chat noir?” Tikki asked. Watching as Marinette crumpled up another piece of paper.

“Nothing. I couldn't think of a single thing.” Marinette lowered her head dejectedly. “What am I gonna do?”

She heard her phone buzz. She quickly turned to see it was Alya. It was a text message.

‘Hey girl. I hope you are feeling better. I got some really good or really bad news depending on what type of sick you are. Adrien volunteered to bring your homework to you. So I really hope its a cute case of the sniffles, if not, I recommend letting your mom stop him at the door.’

Marinette felt her face heat up. This is not what she needed at all. Granted it was welcome in most cases, but she was panicking now. Adrien was coming here!

Marinette was trying to calm down.

“On the upside, at least you can say you have a fever.” Tikki joked a bit.

“Not helping Tikki.”

Marinette moved frantically, she did her best to hide most of the pictures of Adrien. Sure he saw them before thanks to that camera crew, but he didn't see the NEW ones. She quickly hid them and heard a knocking on her door.

“Mari dear. You have a friend here dropping off your homework. Are you okay with letting him in?”

“Yes Mama. Just one minute.” Marinette replied. 

She jumped into her bed and covered herself.

After 60 seconds, she heard the approaching steps of another.

The door opens.

“Hey Marinette. How are you feeling?” The voice of a blond angel (According to her) inquires about her well being.

“H-Hey Adrien. better am feeling I. I MEAN! am better feeling I. Felling better! I am feeling better!” Marinette word garbled. She mentally screamed at herself for tripping repeatedly over her words.

“Sounds like you just woke up from a nap. Sorry for interrupting. But I brought you the work you missed, along with notes from class so you won't be lost.” Adrien spoke sweetly

Marinette sat up and saw the teen was putting the notes on her desk. He was also holding a plastic bag.

“I wasn't sure what you were sick with, and Alya didn't really specify, so I went to the pharmacy and picked up a few things. Cough drops, Ibuprophen, and some other things the pharmacist recommended.” Adrien explained. “I also brought you soup, its down stairs with your mom, she said she will heated up for you when you get hungry.”

Marinette’s face turned bright red. Adrien was too sweet. That blond is going to give her a heart attack with how kind he is. It only compounded on to the guilt that she was not actually sick.

“Thank you.” Marinette spoke, her eyes sparkling and her mouth able to smile, trying her best to remain composed.

Adrien felt a faint blush on his cheeks.

“I am glad I could help. You always do so much for everyone, I think you deserve having someone help you.” Adrien smiles.

Marinette felt her heart pounding. Oh sweet macaroons she loved this boy. She felt something akin to inspiration strike. Adrien was the solution.

Marinette thought about it.

Turning down Chat noir would be difficult knowing with how smitten he now was with her civilian self. But if she was taken, chat noir would respect that. Even if she gets turned down by Adrien, which would be crushing, she can tell chat noir that she had recently had her heartbroken and was not looking for a relationship right now which would be an honest answer. And who knows, maybe the rejection from Adrien would help her see the cat in a new light. It was gonna take a lot of courage, but she needed to do it.

“I... I also talked with Nathalie. She was able to move around my schedule so I have a few hours. If you are feeling up to it. I can help explain some of the things you missed in class.” Adrien suggested. “If you want. No pressure.”

“I would Lo... Like that a lot. Thank you.” Marinette recovered. She would use this as a chance to confess to him.

Adrien went over to the desk where he had placed the notes and brought them to her bed.

“Hold on, I will grab a chair and...”

“You... You can sit on the bed if you want. I don't have anything contagious.” Marinette answered, she felt this new objective giving her more confidence in facing Adrien, her best friend would be proud.

Adrien felt his cheeks flush. He gulped quietly and sat on the bed near where she was. He focused on explaining the notes to her. Marinette and Adrien were both hardly paying attention to the actual notes, both more focused on each other and their inner monologues.

After an hour, Adrien had finished talking about the notes.

“Any questions?” 

“No, I think I got it. You are a great teacher.” Marinette praised.

“Oh. Well I would be more then happy to teach you more sometime.” 

Marinette felt her heart trying to burst out of her chest. She needed to do it now.

“Adrien. I have something I need to tell you.”

“Actually Marinette, I have something to admit first.” Adrien looked down.

Marinette stopped.

“What is it?” Marinette asked, her nerves starting to catch up to her.

“I didn't come here just to bring you the class notes or just to bring you the stuff. I also wanted to talk to you about our friendship.”

Marinette felt her heart sink.

“Oh...”

Adrien took a deep breath.

“I don't want to be just a friend to you.” Adrien exclaimed.

Marinette’s heart stopped sinking and returned back to its original position.

“Wh-Wh-What do you mean?” Marinette’s eyes were wide.

Adrien’s cheeks were scarlet red. Her innocent blue eyes looking at him so closely. He felt his breaths get heavy.

“Ever since I started school, after we got passed that misunderstanding about the gum, we have been friends. You made me that cool hat for Christmas, you cheered me on in my fencing, you gave me your lucky charm to help me be better at video games, you even let me drag you around Paris trying to help me escape fans. You have done so much for me. You even let me think that my dad got me the scarf you made for my birthday.”

Marinette felt her eyes water and her heart ache, ‘How did he find out about the scarf?’

“Marinette. You are a wonderful, incredible, fantastical person that has made my life better just by having you in it.” Adrien stated clearly. “You are someone that sees me for who I really am. I wanted to... I want to tell you...”

Adrien moved closer to her.

Marinette moved a bit closer to him.

“I am in love with you. Will you go out with me?”

Marinette felt her entire body burn with absolute delight. She had dreamed about this moment. But her dreams could even compare to the actual feeling of hearing those words come out from his lips.

“Yes.” Marinette answered trying her best not to squeak and failing miserably.

They paused and looked deep into each others eyes.

“May I?” He whispered as their faces were close together.

Marinette nodded sweetly. The two moved in and kissed. The soft kiss that was so sugary and sweet that just looking at it made tikki believe that she had just devoured a plate of macaroons. The red Kwami hiding nearby had to do everything not to squeal with joy.

Their lips parted and Marinette could see the pure smile on his face after the kiss was blinding with how cute it was. Marinette wasn't sure how she would be able to survive dating him. She was already a tomato from the kiss, that smile was just excessive.

Adrien jumped from the bed.

“Yes! She said yes! My Princess said YES!”

Marinette smiled.

“Yes, Your princess said...” Marinette paused. “ Princess?”

Adrien stoped as he heard her statement.

Adrien felt the joy he felt drain and he went pale. Oh no, Ladybug was going to kill him.

Marinette felt everything connect. He was never around when chat noir was there. His penchant for puns, that blond hair, those green eyes, that soft smile. Then combine that all with that nickname. It was so obvious in retrospect. But Marinette couldn't deny her thoughts.

“CH-CH-CHAT NOIR!?” 

Adrien turned around slowly.

“Marinette sweetie... please don't tell ladybug.”

And in the silence, the laughter of a cat Kwami could be heard from the model’s shirt pocket.

_______________________________________________________________________

(Oh f*** this is the most diabetes inducing Fluff I have ever written in my life. It is so sugary and sweet. Please let me know if my sleep deprivation is worth reading this.)

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 8: I’m Holding out for a She-ro

Sources:

Ida Lewis

Thought Co

Atlas Obscura

Smithsonian Learning Lab

Archive.org

Traditional Music

Further Listening: “The Memory Palace”,  “The Eyes of Ida Lewis” by Reg Meuross

Selena Quintanilla-Pérez

Smithsonian Insider

National Portrait Gallery

PBS: Latin Museum USA

CNN

Biography(dot)com

20/20

National Museum of American History

Sábado Gigante

Interview

Further Reading: To Selena, With Love

Rose Valland

Rape of Europa (documentary)

Monuments Men Foundation

The Collector

WideWalls

Statue “of” Rose Valland (image)

Attributions: Airplane Seatbelt Beep, Sailor Song, Spanishy Guitar Thing (that’s the actual name of the file), French Horn Sounds, Trio for Piano Violin and Viola

Click below for a transcript of today’s episode!

Alana: We were talking and I was giving Lexi like things that she could cut from episode six and I was like you can cut just like most of me talking and let someone else… give them, give everyone a break from my voice. And then Lexi was like you're our fearless leader though and I was like no. I'm scared of everything and I just love listening to myself talk, that's what the deal is here, that's what's happening.

Lexi: The fear doesn't come across. So.

Alana: Oh that's good. I wasn’t on TikTok because I don't go on TikTok because I don't have a TikTok because I don't get it. But I follow an account on Twitter that just posts all of Hank Green’s TikToks. Apparently there's like some dance challenge, I bet, or something, I’m making an assumption, where you like put on your shoes or something, and I don’t know. I don’t know. But he was like leaning over doing something with his shoes and then he threw his shoe at the phone and yelled “do your homework” which I thought was very funny.

Haley: Are you gonna talk about Hank Green every episode?

Alana: Yes.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: I wish he was my dad!

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History: the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. It's time for my favorite Zoom meeting. Up in the top left corner is Lexi. Lexi, what's your superpower?

Lexi: My superpower is writing essays the night before they're due, not double checking them, submitting them, and then having the professor say wow you're a great writer.

Alana: And down at the bottom is Haley. Haley, what would your superhero name be and why is it Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots?

Haley: Ugh. I really, I had my super power all ready to go and you switched it up on me. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots was something off of a whim. That was like a gut visceral reaction to my super power name. I guess I'll stick– I don't know why it's that long. I have a really long last name. I love short and sweet names. I hate that it’s Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots.

Alana: I need to– we need to like keep bringing it up so that we can have Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots merch someday.

Lexi: Please if you'd like to contact Haley write to our podcast.

Alana: We cannot stress this enough. Even if you don't have anything to say, send us a DM and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots

Haley: This is why I can't speak freely and… I don't know. I can't have nice things because then I say crap like that.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I watch blockbuster superhero movies the way they were meant to be seen; on the tiny airplane screen on the back of the seat in front of me. Or at least I used to.

Haley: Alright. I have a question for you all. What is the definition of a she-ro?

Lexi: A hero who uses she/her pronouns?

Alana: I love that. I think I'm gonna second that. Yeah. I'm also gonna say like people who were overlooked. I know that's like our whole podcast is like people who were overlooked but… That's– that's how I feel.

Lexi: I'm holding out for She-ro.

Alana: Holding out for She-ro. Til… how does the song go I don’t even know.

Lexi: Til the end of the night.

Alana: Can I tell you the first time I heard that song?

Lexi: She’s gotta be strong and she’s gotta be tough.

Alana: The first time I heard that song.

Lexi (high-pitched): She’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

Alana: For reals.

Lexi (somehow even higher-pitched): I’m holding out for a she-ro!

Alana: For reals the first time I heard that song? Shrek 2. Dead serious.

Haley: Yeah. I think that’s… I think that’s the same for me too.

Lexi: No the first time you heard “Holding out for a She-ro” was right now when I wrote it. You may have heard a different song.

Alana: The original song. The original song.

Lexi: This is parody, therefore it's protected under parody law.

Haley: She-ro on the oracle that is Urban Dictionary has like two top definitions in their like first thing that comes up. The first one is a woman or man who supports women's rights and respects women's issues. The second is female hero, basically saying he as in hero and it's like Greek and Old English rooted words going into all that, we're not here for,  it's not fun. The fun part is just how someone put in she-ro as an obnoxious word built off the word hero but in the same breath is like a man or woman who fights women's issues and then truly just like a whole mix of how this word’s obnoxious.

Lexi: Thoughts; I hate the term women's issues.

Alana: Me too.

Lexi: That makes me sick to my stomach.

Haley: Yeah I don't like it either.

Lexi: Second, let’s edit Urban Dictionary. My definition was better because I don't like either of those definitions.

Alana: Me neither.

Haley: There are like a whole host of definitions and that was me dwindling it down.

Lexi: Like the fact that it says female hero like that makes me upset because someone can be female and not use she as the pronouns that frustrates me.

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: And then also I don't like the term women's issues that just doesn't sit well with me. You know, I don't like that.

Haley: Also I didn't think of like hero as like he I always saw it as H. E. R. so like her.

Alana: So that's why you said her-o in the original spreadsheet.

Haley: I also had a few drinks in me but that's neither here nor there.

Lexi: Also the feminine form of hero is heroine but then that sounds like drugs.

Haley: Yeah that's true, that's also true. Honestly I’d rather be a drug than like a woman. If it– women’s rights or like heroin’s rights

Lexi, laughing: In 2020 America, if you were a drug that was being sold by a pharmaceutical company, you would have more rights than a woman.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: Lexi leave that in.

Lexi: Oh hell yeah I will.

Alana, laughing: Oh god.

(Haley and Alana laughing)

Lexi: So our first she-ro today is Idawalley Zoradia Lewis who was born on February 25, 1842, and in 1854 her family moved to a little island called Lime Rock. It was off the coast of Newport, Rhode Island. The family made the move when her father became keeper of the lighthouse there, and living on a rock meant her and her three younger siblings needed to row a boat back and forth to school on the mainland each day, so Ida became a strong rower. She also learned to swim against really rough waves and so she was just all around really good in the water. In 1858, sixteen year old Ida rescued four young men. The group had been sailing when a strong wave capsized their boat near Lime Rock and Ida, by this time a well-practiced rower, rowed out to where the boys were struggling to tread water. She hauled all four of them aboard and brought them to shore. The event received very little publicity even though this sixteen year old girl saved four people. When Ida was in her teens, her father's health began to decline and he became wheelchair-bound, so Ida had to learn the skills needed to keep the lighthouse running so that her family can continue to run the lighthouse and receive an income. In 1869, a pair of soldiers were on a boat near Lime Rock during a snowstorm and the snowstorm turned their ship over. Ida, who was actually ill at the time, didn't even stop to put on her coat and went out to rescue the soldiers with the assistance of her younger brother. In recognition of her service at this time, President Ulysses S. Grant awarded her the Congressional Medal of Honor. Grant and his vice president visited Ida’s lighthouse to congratulate her and the story about the rescue was published in the New York Tribune. In 1872, Ida’s father unfortunately passed away and her mother briefly became the lighthouse keeper. In 1870, Ida became the lighthouse keeper because her mother was beginning to be sick. At one point, she was the highest paid lighthouse keeper in America. Her mother, who was now at this point very ill, eventually passed away in 1887. There is no written record of the exact number of people Ida saved, but accounts from the time estimate she saved at least eighteen people or possibly as many as thirty-six. Many national magazines acknowledged her for her great heroism and she became a household name in New England. In 1911, Ida is believed to have suffered a stroke. She died shortly after. The city of Newport flew their flags at half mast and thousands of fans came to Lime Rock to bid her farewell. After her death, the lighthouse was renamed Ida Lewis Lighthouse and Lime Rock was renamed Lewis Rock in honor of her 54 years of service. Lewis Rock is now home to the Ida Lewis Yacht Club. Though Ida’s actions and career were considered masculine and caused much debate during her lifetime, she was recognized as a heroine by many young women who admired her. She inspired girls, showing them women could be strong, and save men, something young women at the time likely did not see reflected anywhere else in their lives. And that's what makes her a she-ro.

Alana: I was literally today talking about when I was– when I was like 11 or something we did…  my family did like a sort of driving tour of Cape Cod, Connecticut, and Rhode Island and I was literally talking about that trip with my mom on the phone today because it's Sunday, it's call your mother day. So I was like actually talking about Rhode Island today which is really interesting. Like what a weird coincidence. I didn't know anything about her. That's cool.

Lexi: She is a little-named person. She's not frequently mentioned, but she does appear in some historical books, sometimes. Like there's a book in the Smithsonian Libraries that is called like “Women Heroes of our Great Nation” and it's from like 1890-something, like during her lifetime, and it mentions her. And it has a cute little drawing of her rowing a boat.

Alana: Do you have a link to that in the show notes?

Lexi: I do not have that specific link, but I can give it to you and I will put– we’ll put it in the show notes. That link will be in the show notes. It's not yet but I will put it in there.

Alana: I have to see this drawing.

Haley: So this shero might come as a surprise because you might be like why did she save the day? But hopefully the story I tell will kind of steer you on that path. Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, or the queen of Tejano music, was one of the most iconic singers of the late 20th century and a trailblazer in Tejano music. I know I know the theme is “saved the day” and you're probably thinking why Selena? What did she save? Well I basically wrote half a page of this long winded story on why she saved the day in my middle school Spanish class, but honestly just Google the testimonies on how Selena changed the lives of so many people and you be the judge of this whole story. So let’s crack open this history book on Selena. Born on April 16, 1971 in Lake Jackson, Texas, her family wasn't originally from fame, but before fame she was a singer of her family's band Selena y Los Dinos, that worked weddings, fairs, and other venues along the US-Mexican border. And her father was also a musician back in the day, so not only did the kids get the musical talent from him but they also were trained and mentored by him. And you see a lot of the family influence come out and her music later. So funnily enough she grew up speaking English, not speaking Spanish but her father taught her how to sing in Spanish so she could connect better with the Latin American community. And in the HBO 1997 Selena movie with J. Lo you kind of see like how and why Abraham, her father, picked that. And she did learn to speak Spanish fluently because actually rose to fame she had to kind of be in interviews and a lot of these were Mexican broadcasting news organizations, which they were going to be asking and expecting her to answer in Spanish. So her rise to fame, she had to break so many barriers because of Tejano music, which is a style of music that fuses Mexican, U. S. and European elements together, was heavily male dominated. In 1990, her Ven Conmigo album was the first to Tejano album by a female artist to go gold, and in the following years songs like gonna Como La Flor, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom, Si Una Vez and others quickly made it to the top of charts and are still iconic songs. Even on the radio, a few days ago I listened to this. I was listening to some channel and Como La Flor came on and I was like “I'm doing her this is like a sign” because I really struggled to pick a shero. Through all this fame, she is noted as humble, caring, and overall a lovely girl who truly put her family, friends, and fans above her own happiness sometimes, and people would just comment on how great she was in interviews, just meeting her on the street, and even the HBO and other documentaries, movies, show that she was just a lovely lovely human. To pivot slightly she was most definitely a renaissance woman while continuing her musical career, she started a whole fashion experience. Her style overall was considered to be breaking bounds of toting the line between “sexy rebel” and “Mexican American good girl” and for those who do not know, she is most known for her bustiers, tight pants, and jackets. All these fashion icons were inspirations from her stagewear, which she made available to the public because she made those herself which I thought was pretty cool like all her stagewear is coming from her. Especially when they were just like a touring small band along the border, they would have to get creative and Selena would take charge in what everyone would wear on stage. The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History actually has one of the leather outfits she wore and I couldn't figure out if it was on display or not but they do have that and I believe other Selena artifacts and have done a lot of stuff of Selena which will all be on the show notes. She is also sometimes is referred to as “Mexican Madonna'' which I personally think is garbage for so many reasons because both of those females, women, ladies are their own identities and like her music doesn't sound like Madonna. 

Alana: No. The only way that Selena is the Mexican Madonna, is if Madonna is the White Selena.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: Like I would accept like either of those because I love flipping that script.

Haley: I saw that quote like “Mexican Madonna” too many times to not put it in and just be like this is a dumpster fire

Lexi: But like I think only similarity is the leather.

Haley: It’s like the leather and the bustiers, and the bustiers she would wear would be like bedazzled bras... so I was thinking like Madonna and the cone boobs. And it’s like, what, we're gonna call Katy Perry like...

Lexi: So many female singers dress like that

Haley: Yeah, so like I wish I was born, I was born right after #1997Baby because I would have totally gotten a leather jacket from Selena. Like when she did her whole public appearance, there are so many interviews of her talking about her clothing, and you see how passionate she is. She broke even more barriers when she became the first Tejano artist to win the Grammy for best Mexican-American album in 1994 and this was at the 36th Grammy Awards. Unfortunately, only a year after her Grammy win at the height of her fame she was murdered. At age 23 she was murdered by the president of her fan club, Yolanda Saldivar in Corpus Christi, Texas, and Yolanda was considered like her close friend, part of the family even though Abraham has been on record saying like he didn't trust her, especially when a lot of like paper trails of money going missing and just fans being like this is not right like I ordered this thing and this came instead or nothing came at all, where he was like “okay, why is Yolanda in our life, how did she come about?” and really Yolanda approached Selena and was like “I’m your number one fan, let me do all this stuff for you.” Once the money laundering and all the other like sketchy stuff was coming to light that's when she killed Selena with a gun. So there's a lot of info about like Yolanda and her head space for this and since she survived and Selena didn't obviously they use Yolanda. Like 20/20 did a whole episode interviewing Yolanda and there's a clip even where she is saying her conscience is clear, she didn't mean to kill Selena, and the murder was a complete accident and like she... I got the sense that she felt worse that she didn't commit suicide versus like murding Selena. Yeah, Alana is giving me that face. It was just such a horrible, horrible scenario. I got the sense that Selena went to confront her or told her dad that she’ll confront Yolanda, starting like “Hey, there’s a lot of sketchy, criminal activity coming out, and you are the president of my fan club, what is going on? I’m talking to you as my friend and I want to work this out with you.” Apparently Yolanda had a gun, was willing, and did use it on Selena. I believe she died either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. I couldn't get a full confirmation from a reputable source of what happened there. Honestly that whole 20/20 I linked in the show notes it's on YouTube and different parts, someone kindly posted that and it just shows you how sketchy Yolanda was and clearly the interviewers were trying to like kind of be like okay you're kind of a kook we don't have Selena's mark, we want to do a tribute of her overall legacy, we're gonna pick you. And Yolanda is actually up for parole in 2025 which I knew when I saw the movie in middle school, hence she saved my day that day going back to that. Now it just feels so much more real being like in 2020 versus like some random mid 2000s because all our whole like middle school class was obsessed with Yolanda. Honestly most people were for like the wrong reason like they start looking at her Wikipedia's seeing that Yolanda has like a fan club now which is like completely inappropriate. But I kept thinking like yo, why is she on parole and she would be on patrol because she would have served at least thirty years of her sentence so it's like thirty years to life sentence. Honestly, I don't think she's going to get paroled. I never read an indication that she was but you never know.

Alana: The Yolanda fan club kind of goes back to what we were saying in our lady criminals episode. 

Haley: Yes.

Alana: Like these friggin serial killers that have fan clubs and that's so messed up.

Haley: I almost actually paved Yolanda Saldivar as my lady criminal because just whole rap sheet on her and there's just so much on like her publicness, she is still alive, and in the interviews she's like wearing makeup, wearing nice clothing, and I’m like you are painting her as an innocent, sweet lady, she is talking about murder! This is… no. I feel like we wouldn't do that for certain people like people still have sympathy for her, hence she's not wearing like the prison jumpsuit they're not doing in a prison yard. They're like creating this space to paint a picture. So to end on a happy note I've kind of compiled the list on her legacy and Boy Howdy even just in the past few years the list goes on and on. I made like a whole list from when she died and after so like 1995 to 2020 and yes it's a lot of years, but just all the stuff. There's a lot of family drama, court drama, stuff with Yolanda Saldivar and to keep it positive and keep it with stuff that we can use as Lady History and just like us as a community, loving her… Mac cosmetics has created two makeup lines in her honor. The lipstick is chef's kiss gorgeous. It's like her iconic red lipstick. I'm still looking for it. I keep thinking I’ll see it when I go to Mac or Sephora and I should probably just order online. She also has a Hollywood Walk of Fame star which you can go visit. Lastly, we have a ton of documentaries and biopics, notably the movie with J. Lo that is and back on HBO and I believe Netflix is also in the works with creating a series within the near future. The trailer’s out it looks fantastic and in my ever so humble opinion, a lot of these biopics are actually pretty decent. They do show the good, the bad, and the ugly and I could be wrong, you could totally fight me but when I watched the movie when I had HBO, made a list of points I wanted to hit or kind of corroborate because I thought it was interesting when I was watching the movie of like oh the J.Lo movie did like a great job because all that like I could find in like interviews or like the Smithsonian had a bunch of PBS, CNN for a PSA for the sources; lots of visuals this time, so if you're a visual, you like the videos you like the audio for it, rather than the text of all the books definitely check those out.

Alana: That was cool. Definitely not someone I think of as fitting this topic, that was awesome.

Haley: We defined sheroes like anyone who makes an impact 

Alana: Yeah. 

Haley: And honestly I had the whole joke of how I really do want to be in my Spanish middle school class and I didn't know of her existence beforehand. I've listened to some of her music growing up I didn't realize like her whole story and that was Seleh-na, Seleena, however you want to say it, I don't know you can you can fight me on how to pronounce the name but like it was the first time I saw Spanish representation in a Spanish class which is saying a lot. 

Alana: Awesome, That's so cool. I guess it helps when you are telling real stories and not being, or at least trying to tell real stories and not making shit up.

Haley: Yeah, also at least for the cast for J. Lo, I'm thinking off the top of my head weren't like white people playing Hispanic, Latino characters. The Spanish was good. Like we'll see West Side Story and Natalie Wood with brown face on that was not the situation will not be the situation for Netflix.

Lexi: sings * MMMAAARRIIIAAAA *

Haley: I will get so mad if that comes around like that again.

Lexi: Ya know I can play Maria on the French Horn.

Alana: So something that Lexi and Haley know about me and now all of our lovely listeners are going to know about me is I have two favorite things: museums and fucking over Nazis. This story has both. Lexi is giving me a round of applause. We love it. So did you two see “Monuments Men?”

Haley: No I have not.

Alana: Lexi is nodding. Well my lady for today is the inspiration for the character Claire Simone played by Cate Blanchett in the movie “Monuments Men.” She's kind of turned into just a love interest but this is not a movie review podcast this is a history podcast. So. Rose Valland. She was born on November 1, 1898 in a small town in France that I'm not even gonna try to pronounce. It occurred to me that this is why we tend to stick with ladies who are American and British is because so many of these sources were in French and I was like I don't speak French. Sometimes I feel bad about that but other times I'm like I can't read these sources.

Lexi: We should get some listeners to send us translations of ladies from their home countries that we can use. So if you have a lady from your home country or speak a language of a country, translate some sources for a rare lady and send them to us.

Alana: We would love to talk about rare ladies who are like– that's the whole point, like overlooked by history.

Haley: Google Translate does not help. I'm ready for someone to be like use Google Translate because I’ve seen that on so many podcasts.

Alana: Yeah. I have a Google Translate story later in this about how bad it was. Rose earned two separate degrees in art history from the École du Louvre and The Sorbonne. I over-pronounce things in French because you can't be corrected if you're wrong on purpose. She also has two previous degrees from École des Beaux-Arts in Lyon and in Paris which I think translates just like to school for fine arts or school of fine arts. And yet, she takes an unpaid volunteer job at the Jeu de Paume in 1932. It says volunteer, I've been thinking of her as an unpaid intern because that just resonates with me personally. I watched the documentary “Rape of Europa” which is all about this project. I did that while I was a little bit drunk and I looked at my notes afterwards and I have this line here in all caps, holy shit she was unpaid. I was very excited about her being an unpaid intern because unpaid interns can do anything.

Lexi: The amazing thing about that is that for most of museums’ history, once women were allowed in, they weren't allowed to be paid to work.

Alana: That's a whole other issue.

Lexi: When you look at the Smithsonian archives, the number of women that were just there because their husband was there but then actually contributed way more than their husbands but then got paid like eighty bucks as a present one time? Like… crazy. I digress.

Alana: And the Jeu de Paume is an art museum a little bit further from Paris, a little bit lesser known from Paris. It's like… for my DC friends, my DC audience it's like the Louvre is the National Gallery of Art and the Jeu de Paume is the Hirschhorn. So like it's a little bit lesser known but like still really cool. I can't find a good timeline for like her level of promotion and how far she came which… how? This was like less than a hundred years ago, but okay. Eventually she gets a job being a paid attaché and then becomes assistant curator when the curator falls ill. She was in charge of modern art exhibits which is very interesting because a very prominent art school reject has just become Chancellor of Germany and hates modern art and thinks it's degenerate. Oh. This will come into play later. It was Hitler. I just want to be like Hitler was an art school reject who thought modern art– I guess 1930s art was degenerate. I just wanna explain the joke. 

Lexi: That’s my second favorite fact about Hitler.

Alana: What's your first favorite fact?

Lexi: That he only had one testicle.

Alana: That he only had one testicle. Okay. So. In October of 1940, the Nazis commandeered the Jeu de Paume for storing looted art. This was the Eisen– I don’t speak German. I’m gonna get it clean. Einsatzstab Reichsleiter Rosenberg Project. It was the name of the operation that Hitler used for all of the basically art looting that he did. That was like the name of the project; name of the operation. And then the director of the French National Museums says to Rose Valland “stay there. Be a spy.” And she's like “okay” and she works the phones which is an amazing way to like listen in to keep track of movements. But guess what? They're like being all loosey-goosey with their info around her because they're like “oh she's French, we're speaking German, it'll be fine.” Plot twist, she knows German! So she managed to keep a diary of which, like, prominent Jewish collectors owned what and what went where and who took it and where it was going and catalogued all this stuff. She was interrogated for being a spy twice and there is a quote from her– like she wrote a memoir about this, this time in her life and she says “he looked at me straight in the eye and told me I could be shot. I calmly replied that no one here is stupid enough to ignore the risk.” And that is movie dialogue level shit. Like, oh my god. Incredible. But like so, she's interviewed a couple times and she was like “no look I'm a woman I can't be a spy, look at my glasses.” (Alana laughing)

Haley, whispering: I’m a spy.

Lexi: Remember, women can't be money, women can't be spy.

Alana: Women don't be money women don't be spies.

Haley: We all have glasses, so we are all spies.

Alana: We are all spies. Can’t be glasses. She has– there are like all these cute little pictures of her and she was wearing Harry Potter glasses but this was way before Harry Potter and also like Harry Potter's kind of cringe now so I think we need to call Harry Potter glasses Rose Valland glasses. That's my new social movement, that's my new fight.

Lexi: Acceptable. We should start a Twitter campaign.

Alana: Yeah. I should. After the war, she kept working with the museum and she kept working with the Monuments Men. That was like their actual name, that's not just the name of the movie. And she was looking for the stolen art and she was part of the French Commission on Art Recovery. At age 54 she was finally made curator. Women… Women don't be museums, women don't be money, women don't be spies, women don't be museums. She's also given so many awards before she's even made curator. She's like the most decorated woman in France and then she's made curator. And like, that's all she ever wanted, was to be a curator but she has like– she's awarded the Legion of Honor, the Medal of the Résistance, the Officer’s Cross of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany, she's made Commander of the Order of Arts and Letters. In 1948 she was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but all she wants is to be curator of this museum.

Lexi: I have never felt a story on this show so hard.

Alana: And then , wait, how us is this part? She retired from the museum in 1968, but she went back to being a volunteer for ten years. I've never felt closer to a woman.

Lexi: Incredible. Yeah. I think this is my past life.

Alana: Yeah, right? She published a book called– it's basically like “The Front of Art” like “The Art Front.” It's a pun on a different book called “The Art of the Front.” But so she's just talking about like fighting the war but from the perspective of an art museum, essentially. It became the Hollywood movie “The Train” in the sixties but in her book she's not like a hero or glorifying herself. She's very objective and her fictionalized character in “The Train” has like ten minutes of screentime. She just wants to talk about the deeds, not really herself; she's just like “I was doing my job…” Which is the only way you should be using that phrase in the context of World War II. But James Rorimer, who is fictionalized to James Granger and Matt Damon– Matt Damon's character in “Monuments Men”– in an early draft of his book, he literally says “Rose Valland is the hero of this story.” I just think it's so amazing that she was so prominent in this, and all she's like “okay I just want to go work at my museum now, goodbye” but with a French accent… because she was French.

Lexi: I was gonna attempt it but I'm not going to.

Alana: I’m not gonna do it, I can't do it. There is a statue of– it's sort of, there is a statue that's sort of of her in Lille, France L. I. L. L. E. France. Which is like a little town about 225 kilometers or 140 miles north of Paris. It's pretty close to the Belgian border. The way in which I had to go to the Hebrew language Wikipedia page and translate it to English to find out that's where the statue was… So here's my Google Translate story. In Hebrew, I speak very little Hebrew, shout out to my at-home synagogue who gave me a job teaching Hebrew even though I don't speak it. I love that. But there's a prefix V- which means and. And so when I translated the page into English, the computer translated Rose V-alland to Rose and Allan. So that's why we don't trust the Google Translate. That's why we don't trust the computer translate. We only trust the people. The humans. Because there's like no capitals in Hebrew, so you can't tell what's a name and what's not. This statute does not look like her at all. It's more like a monument to her. It's like a woman, wrapped in a sheet, surrounded by empty frames, and it's kind of weird but it's like a memorial to her. There is ongoing work with the recovery project. There are still paintings that the Nazis looted that haven't been found; it is called the E. R. R. project for. Eizen– Eizenstab or whatever. And they're trying to find the stolen works and it is sponsored by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– please give me a job United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– and the Jewish Claims Conference. So it's like her life is not– like her life's work is not complete and we have to finish it. I had a really good time researching this story. Shout out to my dad for the four bucks he gave me so that I could rent “Monuments Men” on Amazon. Yeah. I also have documentaries this week. It's fun that we've like done different kinds of sources.

Lexi: We covered such different she-roes like–

Haley: I love it. 

Lexi: Mine’s like the classical like she literally like pulled someone out of water.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: And then Haley's is more like look how many people's lives that she touched and therefore like saved people through music and then Alana’s is about saving art. Which is so cool that we all have different types of heroes. There's no wrong way to be a she-ro.

Haley: That's why I wanted to ask the question.

Alana: What is a she-ro.

Haley: Yeah. I love that.

Lexi: Anyone can be a she-ro.

Alana: Anyone who uses she/her pronouns can be a she-ro. Lexi's doing a fist pump and it's very funny that she has a screenshot from one of our previous Zoom meetings as her Zoom background.

Haley: What would be the non-binary version of hero/she-ro? 

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Okay. 

Lexi: Yeah, I love that.

Haley: Well, I wanted to say that but then I didn't want to be like– that was in my head, but…  

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Trying to like pronounce it sounded weird.

Alana: Like my favorite joke that nobody likes, like happy Rosh– or like, Shana Tova to all my Hebrews, shebrews, and theybrews. 

Haley: Yes.

Alana: My favorite joke in the whole world and I made it on Twitter nobody liked it. If you see me on Twitter no you don't.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History; we're heading to the zoo to monkey around. Get ready for some zoologists, zookeepers, primatologists, you name it. It’s going to be such an animal party.

Alana: I have a confession to make. Every time you say the birthdate of one of your ladies I’m like “Oh, so her star sign is…” 

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Like, Haley was like “she was born on April 16th” and in my head I'm like “so she's an Aries…”

Haley: I think of the same thing. I like–

Alana: It's just like where I am. I always think that like… every time I write down a birthday I'm like “oh maybe this time I'll be like oh that makes her a Scorpio. Like, Rose Valland, Scorpio.

[yuki-d-raizel-blog]

Hero

Chapter 8/??

Relationship: Todoroki Shouto x Reader (Your/Name), (Full/Name)

Summit: It all begin at the Sports Festival when Shouto’s other half met Endevour by mistake. The student never thought to see his partner fight against his father just to show him that he is wrong. It started from that instant, Shouto’s new path started exactly from that moment thanks to his friends and his beloved one.

--- 

Midoriya is so nervous right now that he doesn’t hear the annoying commentary. His mind is full of what Ojiro said to him and the accident with (Y/N) and Endevour. He’s aware that his focus need to be on the match, but his big heart and his hero instinct are betraying the owner.

<<Sorry, I’m late.>> All Might is there to encourage his young pupil, <<Did you figured out One for All, right?>>

<<No, I’m still worried how to use it…>> he answers honestly, <<Plus, I cannot think about Todoroki-kun and (Y/N)-chan. I understand why he never used his left side but I think that is wrong. And I’m still shocked about (Y/N)-chan’s words. Moreover, how is she?>>

<<She is fine, a little dazed due to the meds but she is more relaxed now.>> the man explains with a sad smile, <<I went to see her before and I saw that she couldn’t hold a glass of water, so young Todoroki helped her. I can’t believe with how much strength she was closing her fists.>>

<<For me is unbelievable that she faced Endevour like nothing.>> mutters Izuku.

<<Young (Y/N) is a wonderful woman with a strong sense of justice and judgment. She must have her reasons to be like that and she is the true figure of a hero, just like you.>>

<<What? I would never have the nuts to insult Endevour like she did!>>

<<But both of you cannot stay aside when someone feels down, or when someone talks ill about somebody, even if you don’t know that person. She sacrificed her hands to young Todoroki, she clearly can’t fight with those wounds and a numb body, even knowing that, you saw how she replied to Recovery Girl.>>

<<…..Wait, why this situations is somehow familiar?>>

<<She will not have absolutely no merit on doing this, but that’s create the opportunity for it to shine brightly and rise to the surface. You did the same thing when you put yourself on the line to save young Uraraka.>> the hero sees happily that his successor has understand what a real person his classmate is, <<That’s right. Once again, it rises to the surface, the most important qualification of a hero: the spirit of self-sacrifice.>>

<<B-but can I help her now? I need to do something but I’m not sure about myself, if I can do what she asked to me.>> here we go, the muttering phase of the future number one hero, <<But first I need to focus on this match, but can I win-GHA!>> All Might hit him personally with a strange and funny move.

<<You should just say: “I’ll do my best, damn it!” you prince of nonsense! Is the of the hero you’re trying to be that flimsy?>> a giant hand pat Izuku’s fluffy hair, <<Listen, it’s the times when you’re scared or worried that you should deal smiling! Look at you, you’ve made this far. Stand proud, my son!>>

 ---

You want to cheer for your dear friend and Shouto accompanies you. He was too stubborn about the fact to lay down on the couch until it’s your turn, but you managed to convince him to go on one of the many stadium bleachers. Once arrived, Mic introduces the fighters too much excited while they climb the stairs to the ring.

(The rules are simple! Force your opponent out the bounds or immobilize them! You can also win by making your opponent say, “I give up!”. Bring on the injuries because we’ve got our very own Recovery Girl waiting on standby! Put your morals and ethics aside for a moment, and of course, anything life-threatening is crap! It’s not allowed. If you go too far, Cementos and Midnight will stop you right away. Ready? Start!)

<<Brainwashing quirk, eh?>> you discover the student’s power just remembering all your equal in ages saying that they didn’t remember anything and all of them were paired with that guy. <<Don’t do something stupid, Izu…>> he was running but he stopped and now he’s standing still, <<Never mind.>>

During the match, the staff calls Todoroki to let him know that he should be prepared for his turn, so once he is completely sure that you will be with the others after this match, he leaves. The girl is praying so much that her friend doesn’t go any further, if he does that, he’s out. Midoriya is too pure, he’s easy to trick even when he knows what he’s gonna deal with.

“C’mon, c’mon, Izuku! Don’t lose now! You can do it! What…?” the girl sees that Midoriya activates part of his quirk, “Eh? He should be under the brainwashing, did he break it? Then why he is still walking?! Damn it, stop Izuku, stop! There’s no space for another step!”

Suddenly a strong wind blows through the stadium and Mic voice yells what happened.

(Midoriya’s stopped!!)

“Jesus Christ…” you rest a hand on your chest, “I’m so glad…” then his fingers caught your attention, “I guess Shinsou didn’t train himself on martial arts for the chance when his quirk would be useless, Midoriya can win! What he’s doing?!” the little green student is immobile with his mind somewhere else, <<Charge, Izuku!!>>

Your scream wakes him up, motivating him to run at full speed to push his opponent out the ring. The battle is still nerve-racking, when everyone thought that Midoriya won, Shinsou pushes him back or hits him on his injured fingers. Until when Izuku, supported by the cheer of his friends and the arena, grabs Shinsou’s shirt and copying the same move used on Bakugou, All Might’s successor smashes his opponent on the ground.

The silence is broken by Midnight who announces the winner, <<Shinsou is out the bounds. Midoriya advances to round two!>>

(Man, what a boring first match! But both of you fought good. Everyone clap your hands for them!)

 ---

Meanwhile on the corridors, Shouto exits from the waiting room and walk toward his side of the ring. He heard Mic’s voice; his next opponent is settled then. When he turns…

<<Get out of mt way.>> Todoroki’s voice changes immediately when he sees the figure of his father.

<<You’re acting disgracefully Shouto.>> the man speaks with his body on the wall, his son begins to walk again, ignoring him, <<If you used your left side, you would’ve had an overwhelming victory in the obstacle race and the cavalry battle. Stop this childish rebellion already; you’ve a duty to surpass All Might. Do you understand it?>>

<<……….>> the student doesn’t stop his feet but he can’t control his own rage that is increasing fast.

<<You’re different from your siblings, you’re my greatest masterpiece!>>

<<Is that all you can say, bastard?>> his voice is a furious roar, <<I will win and advance only with just mom’s power. I won’t use yours when I fight.>>

 ---

Meanwhile on the bleachers reserved only for students, Midoriya comes back from the infirmary and crosses the way with (Y/N). She looks paler than before, so he offers a hand to help her walking. Uraraka and Iida call them and show the booked seats just for them. When they see better the two friends, Tenya and Ochako jump a little scared.

<<(Y/N)-chan how are you feeling?>> Izuku asks sitting next to you even if he’s a bit embarrassed, <<Do y->>

<<(Y/N)-kun what happened?!>> , <<Oh my lord, (Y/N)-chan are you ok?>> your friends attire the class attention, and everyone is shocked to see your hands all bandaged and your pale face.

<<Calm down guys, I’m fine.>> your hands are shaking and on your arm, there’s goosebumps that before there wasn’t, <<It’s just the effect of the medicine that Recovery Girl gave to me.>>

<<Are you cold?>> Yaoyorozu saw the goosebumps and with her quirk she made a blanket, <<Are you sure you are feeling alright?>>

<<Yes, thank you for the blanket. I feel my body a little numb but it’s not a big deal.>>

<<Can you fight on these conditions?>> Tenya is moving his arms like a broken robot, <<You should->>

<<Everything is fine.>> the girls smile to everyone, <<I’ll win the match without using my hands! And Izuku.>>

<<Y-yes?>> “Oh crap, she saw it, right?” Midoriya jumps when he sees your scary smile.

<<What was that? You fell on that stupid trick? You’re my strategy rival, how can you fall for something so silly. And when you broke it, you were standing still like a dead fish, what were->> she stops to see the next fighters walk inside the ring, <<Something is wrong.>>

<<Eh? What do you mean?>>

<<Shouto…>> the woman stands up and goes near the edge to see her beloved one with a strange aura around.

(Thanks for the waiting! Next up is… these guys!) Mic introduce the students with sarcasm and goes straight to the beginning announcing it, (…….)

………..

Not even one minute passed and the whole arena goes silent. A huge iceberg is covering half stadium…

<<I knew it…>> only your whisper shakes off the shock from your classmates.

<<S-Sero-kun, can you move?>> even the heroine Midnight is half frozen and when the student replies, she announces the winner, <<Sero is immobilized! Todoroki advances to the second round!>>

<<…..Is he challenging my self-control?>> the terrace when you are, is crushed by your grip and a darkish aura is coming out your body, scaring even your friends. Izuku is the first one who tries to calm you down.

<<W-w-would you like t-to go to->>

<<Where the fuck is that bastard?!>> Midoriya jumps scared when you close your fists breaking the cement of the balcony, <<This time All Might will not save you!>> the girl turns her heels and runs over the stairs but the movement was too fast that she must cling on the wall for a second.

<<(Y/N) you’re not in the conditions, please.>> Midoriya, Tenya and Kirishima block your way, <<Please, first calm down and->>

<<Step aside.>> Kirishima do as you said, that gaze was too much to deal, and his angry friend runs out to go somewhere else.

<<There’s blood on the balcony! Deku-kun, her hands!>>

Moved by a mix of strong emotions, Izuku runs after you while Tenya goes to call someone to stop you.

---Continue....

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 21.5, 22, 22.5, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, Last Chapter

[thechasefiles]

The Chase Files Daily Newscap 5/8/2019

Good MORNING  #realdreamchasers! Here is The Chase Files Daily News Cap for Wednesday 8th May 2019. Remember you can read full articles for FREE via Barbados Today (BT) or Barbados Government Information Services (BGIS) OR by purchasing by purchasing a Midweek Nation Newspaper (MWN).

11+ COMPLETED – Three thousand three hundred and eighty-two students from private and secondary schools across the island, some of who braved rainy weather, sat the highly anticipated Barbados Secondary Schools Entrance Examination (BSSEE) this morning. Commonly referred to as the Common Entrance Examination, 1,766 males and 1,616 females took the exam which will allow them placement at one of the island’s secondary schools. Students armed with their clipboards, received hugs and well wishes from their parents before entering into the Graydon Sealy Secondary School just after 8.a.m. Some parents who waited from the start of the BSSEE until the end told Barbados TODAY about their experiences with their children preparing them for the exam. Joann Matheson, the mother of Jarel Matheson, a class four student at St Paul’s Primary said she was relieved that today had finally come. “I am feeling relieved, just waiting for him to come out. I am grateful that I got a chance to see him for the morning session. He was calm and relaxed and it pleased me. I guess it is all over. I told him all of the hard work is done and today is just to seal the deal and deliver,” she said, while revealing that her son wanted to go to Christ Church Foundation. A nervous looking Jillnet Alexander-Murrell was also anxiously waiting on her son Jessie Evelyn, a student of Imperial Private School to finish the exam. “I so nervous. I was calm all the time until now. He told me he is not scared, he is good, he is not nervous. I do not know why I am nervous,” Alexander-Murrell said, adding her son wants to attend Queen’s College. Also present was Member of Parliament for St Michael South Kirk Humphrey who lent his support to his constituents before heading to Parliament. Over at the St George Secondary School, Marsha Mayers who is the mother of Thiery Batson said she was very calm and did not pressure her children about the Common Entrance Exam. “I am very calm and so is he. This is my third time, my two daughters did it and they were calm as well. At the end of the day it does not make sense pressuring the kids because they are going to go in pressured, not functioning. Keep them calm and when they come out they are going to enjoy themselves,” Mayers said. However, parent Sabrina Khan said her daughter Sariella Hafiz was nervous. “She is a bit nervous because she did the mock exam and the maths was hard, so she is having some challenges with that but we are hopeful that she gets through it,” Khan said. At the Lester Vaughan School, teacher at Eagle Hall Primary School Earle Cumberbatch whose daughter Azana Cumberbatch was taking the exam, said he realized he was hypocritical in telling parents that everything would be ‘OK’ when their children sat the annual exam. “To all of those Class 4 children over the years, I told ‘relax, relax’ the child is going to be fine, I am going to apologize. I feel like a real hypocrite now because to be quite honest it was very nerve-racking getting my class ready and then having to go home and help my daughter out,” he said. When it was finished there was a rush by parents and well-wishers to the Graydon Sealy’s school entrance to embrace their students who completed the four-hour examination. Jarel Matheson, a class four student at St Paul’s Primary School said the exam was manageable and he is hoping to secure a place at Christ Church Foundation this September. His classmate Khamar Porter said the exam was not so challenging for him as he received sound advice from his parents. “It wasn’t so hard but certain things you do not know my family told me don’t leave it out try and work,” he said. His colleague Javonte Purcell said the examination was good for him. Ezron Hope another class four student at St Paul’s Primary said he did not feel nervous and the exam went quite well for him. “For me it was quite manageable especially the English. The Maths was good so it was easy to do and I did not feel nervous,” he said. Senior teacher at St Paul’s Primary School Rochelle Brewster said the students at the Britton’s Hill institution were adequately prepared for the examination. “We have put in the work that we know the children needed. The children have also put in what they deem necessary. For the most part, it is just a reflection of what they can do in the given time frame on the given day,” Brewster said. When it was all done, hundreds of relieved children hurried off to their varied celebrations. (BT)

QUICK ACTION BY BUS DRIVER SAVES SCHOOL GIRL – Not all heroes wear capes. However, some people may say bus driver Dale Hall has an “S” on his chest. Hall, who has been a bus driver for the last 12 years, sprang into action on the morning of April 30 when a student of The Lodge School fell ill on the bus. What followed has led to his being described as Barbados’ latest good Samaritan. Hall recalled that after leaving Oistins and on approaching the Gall Hill Medical Clinic in Christ Church, a female passenger alerted him that a schoolgirl looked as though she was not breathing. “When I went to Oistins Depot, the supervisor David Yarde told me he wanted me to change the route to accommodate some passengers who were stranded from morning. His decision of changing the route helped to get her a quicker response at a medical institution,” Hall told THE NATION. “I quickly pulled the bus on the shoulder and asked if anybody had an inhaler. Some of the children said no. Her eyes looked strange, so I tell myself move quick. I saw the doctor’s office in my vision and told her jump on my back. I ran across the road, pull the office door real quick and say, ‘somebody come and help the li’l girl’. I put her on the bed and the doctor came out the same time and set up the nebuliser,” he recalled.  (MWN)

BUJU NO ROLE MODEL FOR THE YOUTH – One Parliamentarian is accusing some residents of “romanticising” the ongoing Buju Banton Long Walk to Freedom tour. At the same time, Dr Sonia Browne has suggested that Buju, whose real name is Mark Anthony Myrie and Jamaican reggae legend Bob Marley, should not be seen as role models. Browne, who is the Chairman of Committees, made the comments on Tuesday in Parliament while adding to the debate on the amendment of the National Council on Substance Abuse Bill, which was later passed. It was section two of Cap 46 that was amended by deleting the definition “Minister”. “I don’t think we quite understand the seriousness of the drug use and abuse. Let me clear it by saying I am a fan of Buju Banton. I admire his music, but when we got a society that more or less romanticises a gentleman coming out of prison after spending a decade of incarceration on drug charges, when on his Long Walk to Freedom, I am not so sure from where, but when we can romanticise that and greet somebody like this at the airport and give them one of the biggest concerts . . . we need to change the perspective of our young people with respect to our heroes and heroines, we need to change the focus,” insisted Browne. The highly-publicised and anticipated tour, which started in Kingston, Jamaica in March, came to Barbados on April 27, and is continuing with Buju performing in a number of other countries over coming months before climaxing with a cruise in April 2020. Pointing out that she also “loves” reggae superstar Bob Marley, who was named Robert Nesta Marley at birth, Browne suggested that even if he used marijuana it would not affect him like it would affect others who looked up to him. “Yes, there are the Bob Marleys of the world, and I love him too, but from the perspective of the young people, they use him as a prime example that marijuana does nothing. Not everybody can benefit from the clarity I assume he exhibited from marijuana use. Not many people can belt out the lyrics he did. In fact, the majority can’t,” she said. “But we need to change the focus and move to different role models. We have a man like Mr Banton, that stepped out of prison and now I am sure he is a virtual millionaire. We need to change the focus of who we look up to for our young people,” insisted Browne. At the same time, the trained family physician insisted there needed to be more public education on marijuana. She also acknowleded that anyone could go online and learn how to make various drugs which they then abuse. “I agree substance abuse goes way beyond the usual cigarette smoking and alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. We see substance abuse everyday with respect to over-the-counter drugs,” she said. “Now you can learn anything on the Internet, if you want to make drugs go [online],” she added. However, Browne said she was happy that the Barbados Pharmacy Council was currently putting measures in place that would “move these drugs from the reach of the normal John Public”. “We are taking steps to do that because they are dangerous . . . to children and adults and we have to remember that is a part of the substance abuse – prescription drugs,” said Browne. (BT)

CHILDREN TARGETED AS DRUG MULES – Policymakers are lamenting what they consider to be a proliferation of drug use and abuse in Barbados especially among primary and secondary school students. The picture was painted in Parliament on Tuesday as Government officials debated the National Council on Substance Abuse (NCSA) Amendment Bill 2019, which saw the removal of the definition “Minister”. Minister of People Empowerment and Elder Affairs Cynthia Forde called on residents to be more vigilant, as she suggested that children were being targeted to be drug mules even by their own parents in some cases. “I know that our youth are exposed by a lot of vulnerabilities in the homes [and] communities and I want to challenge those parents and guardians and others who put drugs in their children’s bag and send them to school because that is a readymade market, to desist from doing it,” said Forde. She did not say how widespread that practice was or if anyone was ever reported. However, the St Thomas Member of Parliament said: “We have men and women under trees, on the blocks, in houses, supplying a lot of children with drugs every day.” “You know what, the children of middle-class people are some of the ones mostly targeted because they are the ones that get the $20 per day to spend,” she said, adding that it pained her to see some people in The City rummaging through the garbage and begging due to their “exposure” to drugs. Though she did not present evidence, Forde also expressed concern that in the primary school setting “there are sweets that are laced with drugs that our children seem to be having access to”. “They are given to the children or sold. Again, that is the incubator for the drug people to have them be caught up in the whole drug business or to be addicted. Therefore, those children, we lose them in the system. I want to encourage parents, guardians, teachers and others to limit the funds you give these children,” said Forde. The former teacher also urged parents and guardians to be wary about sleepovers, adding that “as much as you may know them from church or from town or work, you don’t know the jungle you are putting your children in”. She argued that there were teachers who had to deal with “drug babies” because their parents were addicts, and suggested that an institution be established to cater specifically for those children. “I call them drug babies, babies whose mothers would have been using drugs and as a result the children are born with challenges. They look normal but they have learning defects, some of them,” she explained, suggesting that first-time offenders should not be sent to the prison but to that special facility. In his contribution, Minister of Creative Economy, Culture and Sport John King said Barbados and the rest of the region should be seriously concerned about some medications that were being imported. “Our doctors and other persons endorse these things, knowing full well that they have these types of warnings on them,” he said, adding that some prescribed medications warn of suicidal tendencies. “This for me is something that needs to be looked at and I hope that the NCSA will be given the teeth to look into these particular types of drugs that come in because they are coming in legally, but they have the potential just as the ecstasy or any of the other recreational drugs you can think about, to destroy life,” he said. Also pointing to unintentional drug use among athletes due to use of some medications, King said he believed the time had come for serious consideration to be given for stricter penalties for the trafficking of medicine. Meanwhile, Minister of Youth and Community Empowerment Adrian Forde said in going around the island he learned from young people that it was easy to access some party drugs and other substances once they had “bitcoin because you can buy them on the internet”. He insisted that there needed to be more education and conversation on drug use and the impact, as he repeatedly called for the NCSA to be called the National Council on Substance Addiction instead. Insisting that drug use in Barbados was a serious problem, Forde said “we have a problem where the important things of society are being put on the wayside and drug use has become the new norm”. Referring to some of the drugs as “new and improved”, Forde added: “We have to ensure that we wrestle it and put it behind bars for what it is worth because it is something that can destroy a small society like ours”. (BT)

MINISTER BLASTS DRUG-USING PARENTS – Parents who use illegal drugs in front of their children were today condemned by two ministers in Parliament. Minister of Foreign Trade Sandra Husbands declared parental drug use the single biggest challenge in the anti-drugs fight, as she debated changes to the National Council on Substance Abuse (NCSA) Amendment Bill 2019. H“The problem has escalated now where a child in Barbados can grow up in his or her home where the indiscriminate use of marijuana is acceptable is normal. “Imagine that child sitting in school being confronted by a NCSA [National Council on Substance Abuse] programme officer seeking to educate him or her about the potential damage they are doing with the indiscriminate use and abuse of marijuana and they go home to a parent who uses it as will and may even promote the sale of it in their community,” she said. Earlier, while leading off debate on the bill, Minister of Home Affairs Edmund Hinkson said: “If you want to use it don’t involve your children in that. At age six, seven, eight, nine, ten they should be enjoying their lives and developing character.” Husbands said it was unfair to innocent children and called for unemotional discourse on the use of marijuana and its effects. She added: “This is a tremendous conundrum and it is unfair to our children. One of the things this society has to do… We have to sit and examine the facts not the opinions not the views not the preferences not the likes and dislikes or biases of those for or against the issue of the use of marijuana. “We have got to sit and examine the science that says to us is this safe for use. We should be discussing how should it be used; and how should it not be used.… As a sensible society we need then to formulate policy we need to formulate law that then gives life to the very best management of that substance called marijuana.” (BT)

SUBSTANCE ABUSE COSTING GOVT – The illegal trade and use of drugs is extremely costly to Government. In fact, Minister of Home Affairs Edmund Hinkson said that between 2009 and 2014 taxpayers had pumped $35 million into housing criminals who commit drug-related offences. The Minister made this disclosure as he led off the debate on The National Council on Substance Abuse (Amendment) Bill 2019 in the House of Assembly today. “The economic and social cost of illegal substance abuse on our population is inestimable. You really can’t estimate or quantify the financial cost,” he said. Referring to a Criminal Justice Research and Planning Unit study which links early marijuana use and criminal behaviour, Hinkson pointed out that S35 million was used in a six-year period to house persons at Dodds. “It clearly has economic repercussions. We don’t have the money at this stage to deal with this. We surely need the money for other areas of social development. In 2014 the unit delivered a report that said over the last six years on average between 2009 and 2014, Government spent $35 million on housing persons in prison for drug-related offences.” He continued: “Thirty-five million dollars could buy so many houses, not only in St James North, but all over Barbados. It could repair roads. I am sure that the honourable members for Christ Church West and St Lucy can use that to repair some of the 70 per cent of roads in disrepair that we found a year ago when we came into office.” The St James North MP added: “…Schools for people with disabilities and children that need interventions at an academic level. We could use it to assist those who need greater rehabilitation… first-time offenders; our social welfare to give to those who can’t help themselves… “It could be used to help elderly persons with disabilities; those who can’t live on their own. All of this, this $35 million could have been useful if we had this in Parliament two months ago before Estimates. We would have found tremendously useful ways to deal with it, rather than have to deal now with housing people in prison on drug related offences,” he told Parliament. Citing the report, Hinkson stated “Over 50 per cent of persons in prison have an underlying drug abuse problem and have been convicted for drug-related offences.” However, he said his Government would not be daunted by the task ahead but will do everything in its power to tackle the drug fight headon. “We, as a Government, have to tackle this on many fronts. It’s not just the economics, but the wider social problem. The National Council on Substance Abuse is part of that fight. We at the Ministry of Home Affairs will give them the support to carry out that fight.” (BT)

SAGICOR FEES TO MATCH T&T’S – Sagicor shareholders in Barbados have won a monetary victory one month before the company seeks their approval of its planned US$536 million acquisition by Canadian entity Alignvest. The regional financier has retreated from a proposal to charge its shareholders here significantly higher brokerage fees compared with shareholders in Trinidad and Tobago. But while shareholder Mitchie Bell, who raised concerns about the fee disparity, was happy Sagicor intended to lower the fee rates, he said it was time for Barbados shareholders to stop being docile and “take up the matter of fees as well as share prices”. Based on information published by Sagicor and Alignvest, in the transaction Barbados shareholder fees payable through the Barbados Stock Exchange (BSE) would have reached about $1.6 million, versus the approximately $900 000 previously payable by Trinidad and Tobago shareholders via the Trinidad and Tobago Stock Exchange (TTSE).  (MWN)

RESLIFE POLICYHOLDERS SHORT-CHANGED, SAYS FINANCIAL ADVISOR – A local financial advisor says Government’s decision to close Resolution Life Insurance Company (ResLife), the court-sanctioned successor of CLICO, will only place policy holders in a deeper bind in the long run. According to the advisor who is close to the developments but who did not want to be named, even though Government will offer the liquidator (Financial Services Commission) enough cash to facilitate the payment of a maximum of $20,000 to life insurance policyholders of ResLife, persons holding policies will be short-changed. “This will pull the rug from under the feet of policyholders with traditional medical insurance, life insurance and retirement insurance plans and coverage. This will expose them and put them at risk. What if, sadly, policyholders die after losing the life insurance coverage that protected their loved ones in the event of their death, thereby leaving these beneficiaries financially vulnerable and exposed to a deterioration in their standard of living?” he asked. Prime Minister Mia Mottley announced two months ago that policyholders and claimants are to benefit from a settlement package of $103 million in cash payout and $300 million in bonds. This will see eligible policyholders or claimants due less than $20,000, receiving cash, and the balance in 15-year bonds. However, the advisor is also concerned that given the age of persons with retirement and medical policies, getting an equivalent policy would be almost impossible. He therefore argued that before announcing the closure of ResLife, Government should have already signed off on a deal to sell all of the portfolios. “Retirement plans that have not matured will now stand to never receive any funds from annuity payments that would usually accrue at maturity. The loss in this regard will be significant especially given that the elapsed years when the accumulation phase usually occurs cannot be regained.  Therefore, the purchase of any new retirement plan will be impacted by the shorter time span from which to generate an impactful retirement fund that provides meaningful annuity payments on which to survive at retirement age, “he contended. Last month, Chief Executive Officer Cheryl Senhouse revealed that five firms are vying for ResLife’s medical insurance portfolio of Resolution Life Insurance Company Limited (ResLife), and by June one of them is to be chosen. She explained that with the impending closure of the ResLife, the company recently advertised for expressions of interest in its medical portfolio. ResLife’s chairman Tony Hoyos also told that before management could put forward a recommendation to the board, due diligence had to be conducted. “However, that transfer of the medical portfolio is something that we want to conclude as quickly as we can so that people’s medical insurance doesn’t lapse,” he said. Companies were given until April 24, 2019 to indicate an interest and ResLife is expected to complete the selection process in this month. However, the source questioned why Government needed to close the entity in the first place. “ResLife took over a sanitised portfolio of traditional policies which were still in force (active) some of which were still receiving premiums from the policyholders even by way of salary deductions.” Additionally, he pointed out that ResLife was licensed to sell and generate additional cash flow via the sale of insurance policies and taking in renewal premiums.  (BT)

MOSQUITO AWARENESS WEEK: CULEX MOSQUITO –The Culex mosquito is one of three found in Barbados, along with the Anopheles and Aedes Aegypti. It is brownish/grey in colour and is active between 6 p.m. and 7 a.m. because it does not like light. There are two strains of culex - the culex quinquefasciatis and the culex pipiens. In water, the larvae are at a 45 degree angle because they breathe through a siphon tube. Since this is bent, the larvae must be positioned at an angle to get air when they come to the surface. Culex mosquitoes breeds in any type of water. These can be found at the Graeme Hall Swamp in Christ Church. The Culex is responsible for the spread of several diseases. Elephantiasis is caused by a swelling of the lymph nodes in the feet, arm, neck and testicles. The West Nile Virus is spread after the mosquito bites an infected bird like an egret, macaw or parrot. Filariasis is another disease spread by the culex mosquito. Larvae from roundworms, which are in the blood of the infected host, are taken up by mosquitoes. The roundworm larvae can be spread through the bite. Lymphatic filariasis is similar to elephantiasis in that it infects the lymph nodes. Other forms affect the eyes and can cause river blindness. Equine encephalitis is spread when a mosquito has bitten an infected horse. It affects the brain. (MWN)

WANTED MAN: MARIO LEON HARRIS – The Royal Barbados Police Force is seeking the assistance of the public in locating a wanted man.  He is 26-year-old Mario Leon Harris alias 'Mar Mar' whose last known address is Bartlett Tenantry Road, Sargeants Village Christ Church. Mario Harris is wanted for questioning in connection with a serious criminal matter.   Harris has a dark brown complexion; he is approximately 6 feet 2 inches tall and of a slim built. He has a prominent forehead with the image of two stars and the letters A B A tattooed on the left side of his forehead and an image of a cross tattooed on the left cheek and four tear drops tattooed next to his right eye along with a scar over his right eye. In addition, Harris has a tattoo of the letters MOB on his left arm. Harris is advised that he can present himself to the Hastings Police Station, Hastings, Christ Church accompanied by an attorney-at-law of his choice. Mario Harris is considered armed and dangerous and caution is advised when approaching. Any person, who may know the whereabouts of Mario Harris, is asked to contact Hastings Police Station at 430-7218 or 7219, Police Emergency at 211, Crime Stoppers at 1-800-TIPS (8477), or the nearest police station. The public is reminded that it is a serious offence to harbour or assist wanted persons; any person caught committing this offence can be prosecuted. (MWN)

PUZZLED – A peculiar request by the killer of 47-year-old Guyanese Eton Lyken has raised suspicion in the brother of the deceased. Speaking to Barbados TODAY from Guyana today, Allan Savoury said he found it “very strange” that the person responsible for killing his older brother at Country Park Towers, Country Road, St Michael, around 12 a.m. on Sunday, asked the father of five to take off his pants before the shooting occurred. A distraught Savoury said he was struggling to put this piece of the puzzle together, because only those close to Lyken knew that he always kept his money in his underpants. Savoury explained that his brother did this from the time he was a businessman in Guyana, before migrating to Barbados. “I find it extremely strange at a robbery scene, why would you instruct him to take off his pants? It is strange that he was told to take off his pants. From since he living here that is how he does operate. He used to go about doing salt beef and pickled pork that is what he used to do here. “Then he shut that down and he migrated to Barbados. Since my brother start working, he always does wear an underpants and that is where he always got he money stashed. It is not something of recent, it is something that he doing years now,” Savoury said. According to police reports, Lyken, of Beckles Road, St Michael and Andrew Michael Vanderpool, of Apt 5E, Country Park Towers, St Michael were having a conversation while seated in a motor vehicle. They were surprised by a man who had his face hidden with a scarf. The man, who had a firearm, ordered both men out of the vehicle and proceeded to rob them of cash and valuables. During the ordeal, a gunshot was fired and Lyken fell to the ground where he died. The killer fled the scene on foot. Vanderpool was unhurt. The mother said she had a good relationship with her son who, just two months ago, told her to come to Barbados and spend some time with him. She recalled that he informed her at the time that he had just bought another vehicle and his bread business was progressing well. “I am feeling it because he does not interfere with persons. He is very kind to everybody. Something is wrong,” the elderly woman said. The octogenarian lamented that “something just don’t seem right about the way my son was killed”. “We want his body to come home. All his family is back here and we want him to come home. I can’t deal with coming [to Barbados], so the children would deal with that,” she said. Yvonne explained that one of her children contacted the Guyana Consulate in Barbados seeking information regarding their loved one’s death. When contacted, Guyana’s Consul Cita Pilgrim said the Consulate would remain in touch with Lyken’s family in Guyana and update them on any development with the case which is still being investigated by police. (BT)

CONMAN CONFESSES – Conman Ricardo Cortez Browne, who sweet-talked his way into the homes of elderly people, convincing them to part with sums ranging from $100 to $1 450, cried on cue when he appeared in the District “A” Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday. The 58-year-old painter, of St Michael, facing 24 theft and burglary charges, had just sought to convince the court that he had a major cocaine addiction, and that HMP Dodds was not the place for him. Thirteen of the charges were in District A’s jurisdiction, four in Holetown and seven in Oistins’ jurisdiction. He pleaded guilty to those in District ‘A’, which targeted people living in Government Hill, Grazettes, Holders Land, Black Rock, Westbury Road and Bayville, all in St Michael. He took the court back to the first time he smoked the illegal drug and said he spent $800 that first night. Browne said he eventually walked into Verdun House in 2004 and managed to remain “clean” for two years. However, he relapsed after partying with friends.  (MWN)

ANTIGUAN MAN REMANDED – Antiguan national Rowane Ricardo Copeland is to spend the next two nights on remand at Dodds. Copeland, of Liberta Village, St Paul’s parish, who arrived in Barbados on April 24 by sea, is accused on stealing a $500 kayak belonging to Justin Walcott between April 29 and May 1. He pleaded not guilty to the charge. With no ties to the country, the prosecution objected to bail. However, Magistrate Douglas Frederick requested that the captain of the boat on which he entered the island be summoned to court. Up to the end of the day’s sitting, the captain had not appeared and Copeland was sent to prison for another opportunity for the court to speak with his captain on Friday, May 10. (BT)

VANDALS STRIKE – Twice in two weeks, Francis Lawrence has had to repaint a section of his house because of vandals. Three houses and a car in the Mansion Road, Bank Hall, St Michael area have been victims of black spray paint. Lawrence, a retired seaman, told the NATION he was beyond frustrated when he opened his windows Sunday morning to see the vandals had returned for the second time. “The first time it happened was last week and it was just a little and I painted it over. Yesterday morning [Sunday] when I opened the window, I realised it was marked up again. When I came out it was much worse than the last time so I called the police this time. After the police left, I painted it over again,” Lawrence said, pointing out the spot that was painted over. He said, unfortunately, the security cameras he had installed were not working, so he was not able to see who were the perpetrators.  (MWN)

GOVERNOR SIGNS RESTRICTIVE ‘HEARTBEAT’ ABORTION BAN IN GEORGIA – Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp on Tuesday signed into law one of the nation’s most restrictive abortion laws, a measure that bans the procedure once a fetal heartbeat is detected, which can be as early as six weeks, before many women know they are pregnant. Kemp, a Republican, said he approved the bill “to ensure that all Georgians have the opportunity to live, grow, learn and prosper in our great state.” The signing caps weeks of tension and protests at the state Capitol and begins what could be a lengthy and costly legal battle over the law’s constitutionality. But a legal showdown is exactly what supporters want. “We will not back down,” Kemp said. “We will always continue to fight for life.” Anti-abortion activists and lawmakers across the country have been energized by the new conservative majority on the U.S. Supreme Court that includes President Donald Trump appointees Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh. They are pushing abortion bans in an attack on the high court’s 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling, which legalized abortion nationwide until a fetus is developed enough to live outside a woman’s uterus. Staci Fox, the president and CEO of Planned Parenthood Southeast, said she had one message for Kemp: “We will see you, sir, in court.” At a news conference on the Capitol steps, she said the new law criminalizes doctors for providing lifesaving care. The organization vowed to campaign to unseat lawmakers who supported it, saying they would “be held accountable for playing politics with women’s health.” The legal director of the ACLU of Georgia, Sean Young, has said the group will challenge the measure in court. “Under 50 years of Supreme Court precedent, this abortion ban is clearly unconstitutional,” Young said in a recent interview with The Associated Press. “Every federal court that has heard a challenge to a similar ban has ruled that it’s unconstitutional.” Current law allows women in Georgia to seek an abortion during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. If it’s not blocked in court, the new ban would take effect Jan. 1. The measure makes exceptions in the case of rape and incest — if the woman files a police report first — and to save the life of the mother. It also would allow for abortions when a fetus is determined not to be viable because of serious medical issues. In addition, the bill includes provisions for alimony, child support and even income tax deductions for fetuses, declaring that “the full value of a child begins at the point when a detectable human heartbeat exists.” The legislation would result in $10 million to $20 million in lost tax revenue for the state each year, according to its author, Republican Rep. Ed Setzler, who offered the estimate during a committee hearing in March. Setzler called the bill a “common sense” measure that seeks to “balance the difficult circumstances women find themselves in with the basic right to life of a child.” But Democratic Sen. Jen Jordan said “there’s nothing balanced about it: It’s an all-out abortion ban.” Jordan said she is particularly worried that the new law will push obstetricians away from practicing in Georgia, worsening health care outcomes for women in a state that already has one of the nation’s worst maternal mortality rates. “It’s about the unintended consequences,” Jordan said. “They’re making policy choices that are going to end up causing women to die, and they’re preventable deaths.” Georgia has at least 11 abortion providers, according to the National Abortion Federation, a group that advocates for access to abortion. Some abortion providers have already faced negative effects from the bill, according to Wula Dawson, director of development and communications for the Feminist Women’s Health Center, an abortion clinic in Georgia. Dawson said anti-abortion protesters outside their clinic have become “bolder and more aggressive” toward patients. In the first few months of 2019, “heartbeat” abortion bans have been signed into law in four states: Mississippi, Kentucky, Ohio, and now Georgia. Lawmakers in other states including Tennessee, Missouri, South Carolina, Florida, Texas, Louisiana and West Virginia, are considering similar proposals. A bill that recently passed the Alabama House would outlaw abortions at any stage of pregnancy, with a few narrow exceptions. Kentucky’s law was immediately challenged by the ACLU after it was signed in March, and a federal judge temporarily blocked it. Earlier versions of the law passed in North Dakota and Iowa have also been struck down in court. According to the Guttmacher Institute, a research group that supports abortion rights, about 33,000 abortions were provided in Georgia in 2014. (BT)

HOPE STANDS OUT AS TIGERS TAME WINDIES – Stylish Shai Hope stroked his second straight One-Day International hundred and fourth in eight innings, but his fireworks were negated by a ragged fielding effort, as West Indies crashed to an eight-wicket loss to Bangladesh in the second match of the Tri-Nations Series on Tuesday. Opting to bat first at Castle Avenue in frigid temperatures that dipped below ten degrees Celsius, West Indies were restricted to a disappointing 261 for nine off their 50 overs, with Hope top-scoring with 109 off 132 deliveries. “My form is great and I’m delighted with the way I’m playing. I’m pleased with the runs . . . to get a century again, against a really good bowling attack, is great,” Hope said. “But obviously we’re not too pleased with the result of the match . . . would rather we won today. We were going really well at 200 for two as we approached the 40th over, so to slide like that was not what we hoped for.” Roston Chase chipped in with 51, while opener Sunil Ambris, who replaced the injured John Campbell, got 38 as West Indies found themselves well poised at 205 for two in the 41st over.  (MWN)

DEANNE PIPS CHEESEMAN FOR TITLE – Liz Deane and Victor Cheeseman faced off from the very first day of 2019 Barbados Turf Club’s racing season for title honours. So intense was this battle that it continued down to the ninth and final race day of the Barbados Turf Club’s first season when Deane just managed to keep her head in front to win by a mere $790. Deane went into the last day with a comparative advantage of 16 wins and earnings of $216.190 to Cheeseman’s 12 win that had earnings of $195.870. They both won one race each on Barbados Guineas Raceday, when Deane struck with Brigadier Wood and Cheeseman with Super Heights. (MWN)

FORDE: GOVERNMENT COMMITTED TO SENIOR GAMES – THE Ministry of People Empowerment and Elder Affairs is serious about the National Senior Games, says Minister Cynthia Forde. She told a press briefing yesterday at the HIV/AIDS conference room at Warrens Office Complex: “We want to demonstrate with the kind assistance of our partners and you, the media, that we are not making ‘sport of the Senior Games’, but rather that we are committed and determined to produce a high quality style of Games.” She was speaking in the presence of Minister of Health and Wellness Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Bostic and Minister of Creative Economy, Culture and Sports John King, as well as a number of practitioners across various sporting disciplines. Forde explained that this approach led the ministry to undertake a rebranding process ahead of this year’s 18th annual event, which also required them to adopt greater collective tactics towards its marketing.  (MWN)

CTO TO RECOGNISE SIX FOR OUTSTANDING WORK – Former Grenada tourism minister Brenda Hood is among six stalwarts of Caribbean tourism to be honoured by the Barbados-based Caribbean Tourism Organisation (CTO) allied membership during Caribbean Week New York next month. Hood, who is the chairman of the Grenada Tourism Authority, and has served at various stages during her career on the CTO’s human resources technical committee, and the boards of the then Caribbean Disaster Emergency Response Agency (now the Caribbean Disaster Emergency Management Agency) and the Inter-Parliamentary Forum of the Americas, will be honoured at the Travel Industry Awards Dinner. Hood, along with Colin James, chief executive officer of the Antigua & Barbuda Tourism Authority, will receive the Allied Award for outstanding contributions to the region’s development. The Allied Award was established in 2005 to recognise individuals within the CTO family – government, airline, cruise line, allied and affiliate members and CTO staff – who have done an extraordinary job of contributing, in a tangible way, to the sustainable development of the region. Tourism director of the Cayman Islands, Rosa Harris, along with Laura Davidson, president and founder of Laura Davidson Public Relations, will be celebrated with the Jerry Award for the passion with which they serve the region. Noel Mignott, president and chief executive officer of The PM Group, and Annette Stowe, Internet and conference administrator at CTO-USA, Inc., will receive the Special Recognition Award for high performance. (MWN)

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[the-master-cylinder]

There was a time you simply couldn’t avoid Valerie Leon, even, for whatever nebulous reason, if you tried to. Her frequent TV roles included stints on THE SAINT, THE PERSUADERS, SPACE 1999 and THE AVENGERS. Film assignments oscillated from pratfall comedy to action-adventure. Leon’s public persona further increased as a result of her visibility in a landmark ad campaign for Hai Karate aftershave (one whiff and sultry Leon falls for a wimp, who has no choice but to fend-off her passionate advances with kung-fu fightin’). Her golden era bridged two decades, the swingin’ ’60s and sex-obsessed ’70s; it’s a pampered period that Leon recounts with both bewilderment and a tinge of wistfulness. “When I look back, I realize how lucky I was then. You couldn’t have the same kind of career today. It took a while for me to suss out, but I created that sexy image and it paid off for me. The Hai Karate ads were extraordinary because they were only shown at Christmas and ran for six years, but they made such an impact that I became known as “the Hai Karate girl”.

But the image was still a few years from crystallization when the stage struck Leon, then a trainee fashion buyer for Harrods department store, joined actress Eleanor Bron to croon some Christmas carols. “We got chatting and I told her how much I enjoyed singing,” recalls Leon. “She recommended I go to her teacher for lessons, and I was hooked. I started reading The Stage newspaper, and answered an advertisement for a chorus line job with a touring company of BELLE OF NEW YORK. I played truant from work and went to audition. Incredibly, I got the job and, to this day, I have no idea why. Okay, I was pretty, but I stuck out like a sore thumb as I was at least a foot taller than the rest. My height has always singled me out as I’m just under 5 feet, 11 inches without shoes.”

Leon ditched her Harrods job to pursue her theatrical dreams, but was devastated when the tour was cancelled after only eight weeks. Upon applying for a position as the D’Oyly Carte Opera Company’s dresser, Leon contracted Central Casting for lucrative extra work. “I did quite a lot of crowd scenes and, after a while, began getting picked-out for the odd line or two in the comedies THE SANDWICH MAN and THAT RIVIERA TOUCH.” Leon was back on the boards in 1966; performing as a showgirl in Barbra Streisand’s London production of FUNNY GIRL, she vocalized a couple of stage lines. “You know,” Leon smiles, “I was really green. I had a fairly repressed upbringing. I didn’t really live when I was young. It was the ’60s, but I was never part of that scene. I’m a bit. sad about that now.”

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Nevertheless, Leon’s parents endorsed her burgeoning career: “My mother went to RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts) and would have loved to have been an actress, but she chose marriage instead. My father must have been proud of me. Although I entered the business just before he died, one birthday he engaged a press cuttings service for me as a present. That showed me he had a tremendous amount of faith in me, though I didn’t receive much publicity around this time.”

Leon was a beneficiary of the hype generated by Streisand’s London premiere. She was initially offered the small role in such pot boiling, homegrown British fare as Mister Ten Per Cent (1967) and Carry On Up the Khyber (1968). But it was a movie, destined never to see the light of day, that altered Leon’s professional outlook: “Seth Holt directed a comedy called Monsieur Lecoq (1967). I was covering for Julie Newmar, as a bride in the church, when the lead actor-I can’t remember who he was now-gave me the once over and told me to wise up and accentuate my best assets. From that moment on, I started wearing a cleavage brassiere and tight sweaters to devastating effect. I created this sexpot image which wasn’t me, but it sure worked for casting directors.”

Though her wardrobe stressed curves and cleavage, Leon adhered to her “Everything but the nipple” motto. “I never stripped, not even in the softcore sci-fi Zeta One (1969) says Leon. “I did three movies where everyone was naked except for me. I kept my clothes on, which was quite bizarre. I lost a lot of work by not disrobing completely. I think it was shyness. I built a wall around myself and became unapproachable-it was the only way I knew how to handle my lack of confidence. An uncle of mine once said to me, You know Valerie, I never ever thought of you as sexy,’ and he was probably right because it was nothing more than a well-fabricated image.”

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But the facade expedited Leon’s on-screen exposure: within a single year, she was cast in such eclectic fare as Carry on Doctor (1967), The Man Who Had Power Over Women (1970), Carry On Camping (1969), The Italian Job (1969), The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970), All the Way Up (1970), A Promise of Bed (1970) and Carry On Up the Jungle (1970). By 1971, Leon was groomed as a bona fide Hammer heroine for Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (1971), adapted from Jewel of the Seven Stars, a lesser-known story by Dracula author Bram Stoker. Director Seth Holt died a few days before production wrapped; Hammer kingpin Michael Carreras helmed the remainder of the script. Leon played dual roles as Queen Tera, the mummified Egyptian sovereign who terminates the defilers of her tomb, and Margaret, the 20th-century reincarnate of the vengeful mummy. The veteran cast included Andrew Kier (DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE), George Coulouris (CITIZEN KANE), James Villiers (THE RULING CLASS) and Rosalie Crutchley (THE HAUNTING).

“It was just another job.” Leon relates. “I went to an open casting call and I have no idea if Seth Holt remembered me from the aborted MONSIEUR LE COQ. It was my first leading role and it freaked me out in a way. I wasn’t social at all while we were making it. I hid in my dressing room during lunch breaks, and didn’t mix with the rest of the cast and crew at all. There was work to be done.” Holt’s abrupt demise shocked the production team. “He had these terrible hiccups for a week,” sighs Leon, “and everyone thought it was enormously funny. We’d sit watching rushes, he’d suddenly hic cup and we’d all burst out laughing. Then his heart gave out because of the strain… it was awful. I was so upset when they wouldn’t let me go to the funeral. I remember crying a lot and looking very grim in the first scenes shot by Michael Carreras.

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Interview with Valerie Leon

I was wondering if your very strong ‘Hai-karate’ image kept admirers respectful? Valerie Leon: In the 70s I did create this rather aloof image. It’s crazy when I think about it now, because it was not the real me. A fan once told me with great respect how much he appreciated seeing a beautiful women who could kick ass ! I do think people were often in awe of me. So yes they retained respectful distance. What amazes me even now is when men come up and say ‘oh you helped me through puberty’. Yet it is all so long ago.

You often ended up playing powerful women. Even in Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb, one of the two roles that you play was a queen. Did you ever want to play a wallflower? Valerie Leon: No, it is much more fun to play strong characters. Although, having said that, I am sure that I did lots of TV series where I was…not exactly simpering, but where I was a foil for comedians. But then considering my height and the cleavage – no, I would not want to play a wallflower. I prefer something meaty to get my teeth into.

Have you noticed a greater degree of fan mail and general interest since the seventies stopped being embarrassing and started being cult? Valerie Leon: Very much so, and also because of the world-wide web. That is totally extraordinary. I get fan mail most days and from all over the world. Amazing and quite gratifying.

With your height and your Amazonian physique, what did you gain and what did you lose in terms of roles? I was reading how you went to France to learn French and become a fashion model, and you were disappointed that your stature perhaps held you back in that respect ? Valerie Leon: Yes I was too tall for modeling but I found a niche in show business. I did a film in France called Monsieur Le Coq, a Carl Forman film which Seth Holt directed with Zero Mostel. It never saw the light of day, but I do remember meeting an actor on that movie – I was very young then – and he said ‘You’ve got to accentuate your assets and create an image to go with your height. And that is exactly what I did ! ..I was also lucky because it was the age of mini-skirts and big boobs……it worked because at that time I went from one job to another, which was fantastic.

Since you mentioned Seth Holt just then…do you still believe that Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb was a jinxed movie ? Valerie Leon: Without a doubt. First of all Peter Cushing should have been on it, and his wife got so terribly ill just after we had done a days shooting. Then I heard that a young man from the arts department died on his motor bike, which I don’t think is generally known. And then, of course, Seth. At the time I never knew that he had been quite ill right from the start. They wouldn’t insure him because he had a weak heart. I just thought he might be great drinker. When he died a week before completion of the movie, I was totally devastated. I still have this image of him in certain scenes, bending over and looking at me very carefully before we went for a take. `.

I’m sure you’ve read that he had hiccups for days before he died, but it just continued, and it does put a strain on the heart. He just collapsed one night after a dinner party with his wife. The people had gone and apparently he just looked up and said ‘I’m going’. I didn’t know any of that at the time.

I have also read something recently which I should have read years ago, and the library had to buy it in for me. I read The Jewel of the Seven Stars by Bram Stoker, on which Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb is based. This was a novel written in 1903 which a young American Producer Howard Brandy found. It was really interesting to read this book only last year. I don’t know why it took me so long. It’s a terrible admission, But it had a completely different ending and I don’t think it would have helped when I was filming.

You would have approached the role differently maybe ? Valerie Leon: Not necessarily but I wish I had been more outgoing with the people I was working with and shown more interest in what was happening around me.

Do you think Seth’s death on the film production changed the final product from what he envisaged? Valerie Leon: Yes. Yes, I am sure, because Seth was also an editor, and a lot of what he shot was very much in his head when he died. I believe that Michael Carreras had quite a problem putting it together, and it also came out as a ‘B’-feature to a film called Doctor Jekyll and Sister Hyde, so I suppose at that time it was not expected to be successful – a female mummy and all that. The extraordinary thing is that it’s now become such a cult. I think there is a lot of nostalgia for the Hammer Horror Films. Similar films are so horribly graphic today.

They keep trying to resurrect Hammer and talk about making more films. In fact even as we speak I have 500 little trading cards to sign with pictures of me from Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb on the back, like those cigarette cards. It’s quite extraordinary. They are sold in newsagents and people swap them. That’s what I mean – this is a film from 1971.

You carried Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb very effectively. Were you disappointed it didn’t lead on to other leading roles ? Valerie Leon: Yes, in retrospect, of course. I was very disappointed at the time. But it is the luck of the draw. Now I feel really blessed that I had that opportunity, and that it’s still remembered after all this time.

Do you think that if the British Film industry hadn’t been in such a financial crisis in the 1970s that you might have got as broad a range of roles in films as you did in television ? Valerie Leon: Yes, possibly. I always remember – now I am really going back to the very beginning – Michael Caine, who I met in 1966 on The Italian Job, when we had coffee and were filming at the Royal Lancaster Hotel in Bayswater, saying that I ought to go to Hollywood . But actually I was naïve and shy, and quite immature, ludicrous when I think back on it all now but I came from a protected middle class background. I think that people who grow up in more difficult circumstances are hungrier and more willing to claw their way up the ladder. In fact Ruby Wax once met me for an appearance on her show, and after spending some time with me she said ‘I can’t use you – you’re too nice!’, which I regret. But I just have to be grateful for what I have had.

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

If you could do it all again would you be a little bit tougher? Valerie Leon: Yes. I would be harder, tougher. I would put myself about more. I should have mixed with more people which would have led to more opportunities. As I said, I had this sort of ‘keep away from me’ look, barrier, whatever, and I guess people might have thought I was snooty, which I wasn’t, but that was my way of just coping with things. Many stars come to sticky ends, so I think maybe it’s just as well. At least I am still here, for which I’m grateful.

Were you surprised the type of film Zeta One turned out to be considering it featured James Robertson Justice and Charles Hawtry? Valerie Leon: Yes. That was an odd film. I haven’t seen it for years, but when you talked about it, I ploughed through all my photographs and I found this extraordinary photo of me where I am dressed in a white cat suit with ropes going round my body and through a leather triangle; I think there’s another photo somewhere with just pieces on my nipples or something. That really is so long ago, but it turned out to be a sort of spy sci-fi spoof, didn’t it? and it has been described, I think, as soft core porn.

What do you get asked most about at conventions ? is it the Hai-karate or the Bond? Valerie Leon: Bond, Carry On and Hammer Horror, because all three have become cults, and I have been very lucky to have been associated with all three. And the fact that I worked with Roger and Sean. Some people always say ‘Who did you prefer?’ and I always sit on the fence and say, well, Sean was the definitive Bond, but actually as a person I preferred Roger.

What was your favorite out of your six Carry On films ? Valerie Leon: I took part in six of the films and two Christmas shows on television. My favorite was Carry On Up The Jungle, where I was leader of The Lubbie Dubbies which was a true Glamazon part !

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“It was clear when we were shooting with Seth that he had very definite ideas in his mind. All his directions were very precise with regards to me running through the undergrowth, getting my clothes torn off or my hair blowing out behind me in a dream sequence. One thing he had me do, which I hated, was being shut in the tomb. I’ve never felt so spooked as the coffin lid was put on top of me. I kept thinking. What if there’s a fire and they leave me here trapped?’ Everything changed when Seth died because his editing point-of-view was missing.”

And, according to Leon, Holt’s disengagement from genre cliches may have imperiled the film’s commercial success. “Distributors were very disappointed by it.” she explains. “They wanted a traditional mummy wrapped in bandages, not a dead Egyptian queen reincarnated as a modern girl. It wasn’t what they had hoped for. Seth’s ideas obviously didn’t fit the market for horror at the time. Maybe that’s why it has become a cult movie.”

British exhibitors were so disappointed in MUMMY’S TOMB that the film was dumped on the bottom half of a double-bill with DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE. And Hammer executives were dismayed with Leon. “I refused to show too much in any of the publicity shots that I did,” she says. “I was a disaster on the Hammer ‘glamour queen front because I didn’t bare all. I’ve always believed suggestion is more erotic than showing everything, anyway. There is a nude rear shot of Margaret getting out of bed in BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY’S TOMB. But it isn’t me, it’s a body double. Significantly, though she earned glowing reviews as a “Hammer discovery,” Leon never again worked for England’s “House of Horror.

But the experience hardly ruffled the actress. Between movie and stage gigs, Leon was photographed at glittering movie premieres with her “glamour rival” Imogen Hassall (WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH). “She had even bigger cleavage than me!” laughs Leon. While recording an episode of the popular Brit sitcom Up Pompeii (1971), Leon met Michael Mills, the BBC head of comedy whom she married in 1974. Though Mills was 25 years her senior, Leon acknowledges, “I think I was looking for a father figure to look after me. I was quite neurotic at the time and he used to keep me calm.” Mills died in 1988, leaving Leon with teenage son Leon and daughter Merope.

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“It was difficult to cope when Michael died in 1988 – my children were still young and I took any job to make money, such as meeting and greeting in restaurants and helping in a jeweler’s shop.

Subsequently hired as a decorative presence, Leon in her post-MUMMY roles appeared in bawdy comedies No Sex Please – We’re British (1973) Can I Keep It Up for a Week? (1974), The Ups and Downs of a Handyman (1976) and a certain low-budget spoof of a 1933 classic. “I played a High Priestess in Queen Kong (1976), and looked great, “grins Leon. “I should have played more evil parts. I was always getting cast as the dumb brunette, which hampered my career.” One predictable question (“Which role qualifies as your favorite?”) draws an unpredictable answer: ” Carry on Girls (1973). It was so much fun. I started off very plain and ugly with glasses, and was thoroughly transformed into a beautiful model. I have very fond memories of that CARRY ON.”

Training as Tanya the Lotus Eater, an Amazonian dominatrix in Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978), Leon “literally cracked the whip in my garden, Neighbors peered over the fence wondering what I was up to. I’m still not sure

they believed I was simply rehearsing for a part!” The previous year, Leon performed a less intimidating role as a “Bond girl”: ” Producer Cubby Broccoli asked me to go to Pinewood Studios to audition for THE SPY WHO LOVED ME. I told him I didn’t want to be killed off, so I ended up playing a hotel receptionist who hands Roger Moore his key, takes a fancy to him, then goes to his room and finds Barbara Bach has beaten her to him. We went on location to Sardinia and had a fabulous time as you always do when you are part of the Bond family. We even had a private dinner with the Aga Kahn.”

Leon enjoyed another rendezvous with 007 in the renegade Never Say Never Again (1983) though, this second time around, the superspy was embodied by Sean Connery. Fishing lessons and a 10 a.m. audition, were obligatory for the role of Sexpot. “I turned up wearing a maroon catsuit with a sleeveless lurex coat. The producers were amazed by such an over-the-top outfit at that time in the morning, and I’m sure it got me the job. We shot in Nassau and my scenes had me meeting Sean Connery on the quayside, later feeling a tug in my fishing line and pulling Bond out of the Ocean.

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  Her last role to date was a guest spot on the British TV show ROY’S RAIDERS; but Leon admits that she’s ready for some second innings. “If Hammer were to remake JEWEL OF THE SEVEN STARS, as I believe they’re considering, of course I’d love to appear in it. I want to work.” Involved with public relations for Le Cafe Du Jardin restaurant in London’s Covent Garden, Leon is flattered by the attention kindled through her Hammer affiliation: “It’s amazing to me that I made enough of an impact to be remembered so many years later. When I look back over my career today, I realize I was never marketed correctly, Raquel Welch was, and I needed the sort of Svengali she had in her then-husband Patrick Curtis… someone who would have made me train my mezzo soprano voice for the musical theatre. My husband was proud of me, but could never understand the all important publicity side of the business, where one thing really did lead to another. My children are now grown up and doing well: Leon works in multimedia and web design and Merope is a high-flyer with The Guardian. Outside of acting, I perform regularly with my singing group and I attend conventions for fans of Bond, Carry On and horror films. What’s kept me really busy are my illustrated presentations, which I originally wrote to perform on cruise ships. I think I’d like to be a personality, a presenter. I live in hope of a resurgence in my career. Like Queen Tera, I will rise again!”

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Femme Fatales v04n03 express.co.uk denofgeek

Valerie Leon: From Harrods to Hammer There was a time you simply couldn't avoid Valerie Leon, even, for whatever nebulous reason, if you tried to.

[brownducks]

P. Fitz – a centenary essay

First published at Minor Literatures

“I have been reading steadily for seventeen years; when I go down I want to start writing”.

What Penelope Fitzgerald, quoted in the pages of Oxford University’s Isis magazine in 1938, meant here, was that when she left with her degree – as she would that summer – she was going to become a novelist. Part of the second generation of women allowed to go to Oxford, she was at Somerville, which is mostly (and unjustly) famous for being the college Margaret Thatcher went to. Penelope graduated in English Literature with a First and something called a ‘congratulatory viva’, which is apparently when your tutors sit and tell you how brilliant you are rather than make you argue your case. If she wanted to be a writer, her future was looking bright.

Maybe the reason why Penelope Fitzgerald might be considered a minor writer is because she’s hardly remembered. She’s neither feted nor fashionable. But there’s more to it than that – I think she’s also a minor writer because of what happened in her life. She clawed things back anyway, proving herself, of course, to be ultimately brilliant, but getting your first novel published at sixty-one and writing your masterpiece at eighty might seem a terrible fate – and a terrible wait – to some people.

December 16th 2016 was Fitzgerald’s centenary. I think she’s one of the most extraordinary novelists I’ve ever read, and want to try to explain why. I’m not trying to rescue her from the margins, though. That’s the perfect place for her – she thrives on that sidelong, quiet, outsider’s look at life. Instead, as is the point of shining a spotlight on minor writers, I’m just hoping that a few more people will read her books.

How many of us, these days, expect a short, direct line from anonymity to success? Write well, and hard, make friends with the right people, and things shouldn’t take too long. Maybe this was what Fitzgerald felt when she graduated in 1938, Oxford’s golden girl with her First in English who was going to be a great writer. What fascinates me is that it took her forty years – or life took forty years of denying her – before she got that chance, and yet it doesn’t matter a bit. It should perhaps be a salutary lesson to us, but maybe things were just different then.

As soon as Fitzgerald graduated, the Second World War threw ordered lives and steady trajectories into chaos. She had all the intellectual advantages it might have been possible to have – she’d followed her mother’s footsteps to Oxford, her father edited Punch magazine, her uncles were respected clergy (one of whom, Ronnie Knox, Evelyn Waugh wrote a biography of), and she lived in infamously literary Hampstead. Her mother, to whom she was very close, had died of cancer not long before. Then, some of her best friends died in the war, and her brother disappeared for three years – they eventually found out he’d been a POW in Japan. Desmond Fitzgerald, the man she married in 1942, was a promising barrister, but he was sent off to be a major in the First Battalion of the Irish Guards, which saw only 326 men out of 926 return – one of the worst casualty rates in all the fighting.

Desmond was one of the many post-war sufferers of shellshock. So was her brother, who had a nervous breakdown but never spoke of his experiences as a POW. In Fitzgerald’s biography, Hermione Lee says, “Desmond had been profoundly changed by the war, and came back a different person from the dashing young officer Penelope had married in 1942. He had seen appalling things and lost many men; he had killed a large number of people. He would wake up in the night, screaming.” Even so, like so many men in his position, on returning home from the war he was expected to slip back into normality. Instead, normality slid away from him. He drank too much, was humiliatingly dismissed from the Bar for stealing money from his Chambers, and the family, with three children, tumbled from middle-class Hampstead towards near-destitution. They first moved to Southwold, on the Sussex coast, and then, because they couldn’t afford anywhere else, onto a leaky barge on the Thames. When that sank, they were homeless. They were put into a shelter – Desmond was absent at this point – and eventually moved into a council estate in South London. Fitzgerald worked as a schoolteacher in order to support her family, whilst Desmond held down a low-level clerical job at Lunn Polly. This is not a squalid fate, and to suggest so would be problematic, but Penelope felt it to be drudgery, and far from the life she had envisioned for herself.

She remained a teacher for twenty-six years, until she was seventy years old.

In a notebook from the late ‘60s, she writes: “I’ve come to see art as the most important thing but not to regret I haven’t spent my life on it.” It’s a lament for what could have been, and what she wanted so dearly – but she wasn’t going to pity herself.

However, a change was on the horizon – shortly after this, she began to research a book on the pre-Raphaelite artist Edward Burne-Jones. She presented it to her family as a hobby, or therapy – to ‘stop her going mad’. It took five years, and was a sign: the dam had burst. Immediately after, she wrote another biography, this time of her father and three uncles (called The Knox Brothers), and submitted a story to a Times ghost story competition, which was shortlisted and published – her first piece of published fiction for over twenty years. Finally, she began work on a novel. Then Desmond died. The novel, The Golden Child, came out the following year. At sixty-one, she was a debut novelist.

After this, Fitzgerald just got on with it. The following year, she published The Bookshop, a short, sad and thoughtful novel about a woman who opens a bookshop in Hardingham, a fictional stand-in for Southwold. It was shortlisted for the Booker Prize. Upon hearing this, Fitzgerald said it must be a mistake. The year after that, in 1979, she published Offshore, based on her life aboard her sinking Thames barge. There’s an estranged husband, two young daughters running wild around London, and a self-effacing heroine who is not to be underestimated. It won the Booker. I have to admit that, like Frank Kermode (one of her favourite critics), I prefer The Bookshop – he wrote: “Offshore, though admirable, strikes me as decidedly inferior to The Bookshop. The earlier book was defter, more resonant and more complete” – but it’s still a wonderful novel. The media, for the most part, treated Fitzgerald’s Booker win like an abherration, as though she were a dotty grandmother who had somehow found herself in entirely the wrong place. But it suited Fitzgerald to be seen like this. She told reporters that with the £10,000 prize money, she was going to buy a typewriter and an iron. In fact, she went to New York.

After her Booker win, not wanting to be alone and with nowhere permanent to live, she moved around the country to be close to her daughters and their families. During this time, she decided it was time to stop writing fiction based on her own experiences. The four novels that followed, published from 1986 to 1995, are four of the best in the modern English canon.

The first, Innocence (1986), was also the first Fitzgerald novel I read (thanks, Jack). It’s about a sixteenth-century Italian noble family, the Ridolfis, and their cash-strapped twentieth-century heirs, one of whom, the well-meaning Ciara – surely the story’s innocent – falls in love with Salvatore, a difficult, emotional doctor, who amazes himself by reciprocating entirely. The novel is about love and hope, innocence and (of course) experience. It’s also about vigorous pursuit of life versus stubborn decaying passivity; and how in either case it might just slip through your fingers, or surprise you. It’s a brilliant evocation of post-war Italy – decrepit Florentine villas, olive groves and lemon trees, crops of hay, Fiat cars and English cigarettes.

Innocence shows Fitzgerald’s growing mastery of narrative. I imagine her in a cutting room, with reels of footage about her characters, sizing up what’s necessary. She has so much information, but knows that only a bit of it needs to be shown. She pinpoints what matters, knowing each word (or, to keep that cinematic metaphor, each detail in each shot) must count. It must add texture, depth, and context. If not, forget it. What emerges from this is an elliptical text with a profound intelligence; proof that in order to tell everything, not everything needs to be said.

Near the start of the novel there is a flashback to Salvatore’s 1930s childhood. His communist father takes him to visit Gramsci, who is dying in prison, wanting him to ‘come into the presence of a great man’. As it goes –

“Salvatore had seen deformed animals, and dead bodies of both people and animals, but never anything as ugly as Comrade Gramsci. Ugliness is a hard thing to forgive at the age of ten. The thick mouth of the prisoner, his father’s friend, opened darkly, like a toad’s, without a single tooth in sight. The tiny crippled body could no longer make any pretence of fitting into his ordinary clothes, which hung on him, as they would have done on a circus animal. He was not sitting down, but propped standing up against the wall. The smell of illness, stronger than disinfectant, filled the room, and there was no other air to breathe. While his father unwillingly took the only chair, Salvatore, after standing up for a while, perched on the corner of the clean, hostile cover of the bed…”

Salvatore rejects politics then and there and resolves to become a doctor. He trains himself to be rational and passionless, though this is impossible for him. He is thirty when he meets Chiara, and she finally tips the balance between his rigid discipline and inherently volcanic nature: “She was pale and shining…totally inappropriate to his state of mind, to the time of the evening, to everything imaginable.” His turmoil over being madly in love is played for laughs, as most of Innocence is, but Fitzgerald’s comedy is never just for kicks. As her earlier novels made clear, she sees humour as necessary for survival in a disappointing world. She writes, she says, of “the courage of those who are born to be defeated, the weaknesses of the strong and the tragedy of misunderstandings and missed opportunities which I have done my best to treat as comedy, for otherwise how can we manage to bear it?”

This is a serious and compassionate belief about the point of comedy. I was re-reading The Beginning of Spring recently (which she wrote just after Innocence), and it was so funny – yet every awkward, stupid or embarrassing moment in it is there to highlight either the characters’ compassion towards each other, or Fitzgerald’s own generosity towards them. The Beginning of Spring is even better than Innocence – wait, let’s be precise here, it’s extraordinarily better than Innocence, and Innocence is astonishing. It is also very different. The Beginning of Spring, set in Moscow in 1913, is about an English family who have long owned a printing press there. As it starts, its self-effacing hero, Frank Reid (my favourite Fitzgerald character) who runs the press and has lived most of his life in Moscow, learns that his English wife, Nellie, has left him. The ice that has sealed up the city is about to crack, winter is soon to give way to spring, and Frank must pick his three children up at the train station – Nellie had taken them with her, but changed her mind and sent them back home. This slight novel is patterned around familiar Fitzgeraldian tropes – the comedy of bewilderment at one’s circumstances, love at first sight, a spooky ending – but packed into a rich, strange context:

“He was heading towards the river, and the air was full of the vast reverberations of the bells from the five golden domes of the church of the Redeemer, not at anything like their full power, but like the first barrage of artillery before the main attack. The attack did not come – it was Lent, and they chimed only once, but they were answered from across the river by a hundred others, always with one chime only. He stood listening to the bells in the open starlight. From the cathedral square a ramp went down to the water. The river ran darkly, still choked with the winter’s majestic breaking ice and the debris carried along with it, an inconceivable amount of rubbish – baskets, crates, way-posts, wash-tubs, wheels, cradles, the last traces of the traffic the ice had carried while, for four months, it was a high road. Watching the breaking ice from the bridges was one of Moscow’s favourite occupations. The Gazeta-Kopeika said that a pair of dead lovers, clutched together, had floated by, frozen into the ice. The Gazeta repeated this story every spring.”

The Beginning of Spring is also a novel about coping. When Frank’s life falls apart – as it surely would if your wife leaves without telling you why, or where she’s gone – he is stoical. As Fitzgerald says, she is interested in “a sort of noble absurdity in carrying on in unlikely circumstances”. Frank does his best for his children, keeps his business going, immediately falls in love with someone else, too, but life is complicated and unpredictable – even a man who loves his absent wife might be stirred in other directions. Indeed, maybe falling in love with someone else is a form of coping. It’s how you might cope with the pain of loss – you might sublimate it, at least for a while.

The surprise of a new love when you love someone else, and the consequent inner conflict, forms part of the melancholy that runs through The Beginning of Spring. It’s a dark thread up against all its scatty joy. Frank tries so hard to cope yet is bereft, wrongfooted, unmoored. At the end of the novel, though, in the dense forest outside the family’s dacha, life is stirring again. Hope is renewed:

“As the young birches grew taller the skin at the base of their trunks fragmented and shivered into dark and light patches. The branches showed white against black, black against white. The young twigs were fine and whip-like, dark brown with a purple gloss. As soon as the shining leafbuds split open the young leaves breathed out an aromatic scent, not so thick as the poplar but wilder and more memorable, the true scent of wild and lonely places. The male catkins appeared in pairs, the pale female catkins followed. The leaves, turning from bright olive to a darker green were agitated and astir even when the wind dropped. They were never strong enough to block out the light completely. The birch forest, unlike the pine forest, always gives a chance of life to whatever grows beneath it.”

Both The Beginning of Spring and Fitzgerald’s next novel, The Gate of Angels, are set just before World War I and the Russian Revolution – she was drawn to moments just before a great change. I wonder if this has anything at all to do with her own experience of emerging from the prelapsarian brilliance of Oxford into World War II. The rupture of continuity is always interesting, though. The Beginning of Spring was Fitzgerald’s favourite of her novels, and it’s mine, too.

The Gate of Angels (1990), set in Cambridge around 1910, came next, when Fitzgerald was 74 years old. Her uncle Dillwyn (a Bletchley codebreaker) was at Cambridge then and she knew that its atmosphere, as he had conveyed it to her, would be juicy enough for a novel. It explores both a breakthrough in physics – the discovery of the atomic nucleus – and the history of medicine. As ever, there’s a love story running through it – and as ever, the falling in love happens quickly, between very likeable characters. For all Fitzgerald’s clear-eyed unsentimentality, falling in love was, to her, endlessly fertile ground. She is wonderful on its maddening irrationality, the pain of its frustrations and the purity of its joys.

After The Gate of Angels was Booker-nominated (it lost to A.S. Byatt’s incredible Possession, so fair enough), Fitzgerald was in her mid-seventies and her health was deteriorating. She had arthritis, high blood pressure and arrhythmia, and would go to the Whittington Hospital in Archway (just down the road from where I live now) to get prescribed treatments she hated. As her health worsened, she wrote The Blue Flower. How can I describe this novel without hyperbole? I’ve already used ‘masterpiece’ and ‘astonishing’. Perhaps there’s just an immense sweetness in seeing someone who had waited so long reach their peak – at long last, their genius is there for the world to see, and after all, the world finally seemed to agree, it was the brightest of anyone’s. Against DeLillo’s Underworld and Philip Roth’s American Pastoral, The Blue Flower won the National Book Critic’s Circle Award – so she made it big in America just before her 80th birthday. On beating DeLillo and Roth, she said, with her customary self-deprecation: “I was so unprepared to win that I hadn’t even planned a celebration. I certainly shan’t do any ironing today.”

The Blue Flower, set in eighteenth-century Germany, is about the Romantic philosopher Novalis, in whom Fitzgerald had long been interested. The ‘blue flower’ comes from Novalis’ novel fragment Heinrich von Ofterdingen (1800), which is a poetic, mystical search for this flower – an unattainable object – and a symbol therefore of yearning, passion and transcendence. Novalis, or Fritz, as he’s mostly called in Fitzgerald’s novel, is a generous, garrulous, wide-eyed genius. At twenty-two he falls in love, as Novalis did in real life, with twelve-year-old Sophie, who is a bit dim (though he calls her ‘My Philosophy! My Wisdom!’). Despite her age, and the slightly less pressing problem of her being unable to remember his last name, Sophie accepts the integrity of Fritz’ affection. Fritz waits for her to come of age, develops his ideas, manages the salt mines of Saxony (the family business) and obliviously, and very sadly, breaks somebody else’s heart. All of this is told in fragments that move through time with the minimum of explanation or context. It’s like following a dream – and as you keep up, you’re swept away. As ever, almost all the characters are sympathetic – a hard thing for a writer to do well, never mind brilliantly. The Blue Flower is a culmination of the forms of craft Fitzgerald was practicing in previous novels; the fragmented perfection of Innocence, the comedy and sadness of The Beginning of Spring, the balance of density and light of The Gate of Angels.

She died in 2000, aged 83, one of the great writers of the twentieth century. I don’t want the lesson to be taken away from her life that you can triumph in the end. Her writing tells so many better stories. She is interested in – and she wants us to care about – the vulnerable, the defeated, the forgotten and the quiet. She explores lives of frustrated passion, stubborn idealism, idiotic love, hopeful love, hope in general (there is so much hope in her novels), failure, quiet courage, kindness, and moments when the tragic and the comic overlap. Her imagination might have been especially fired up by Italy, Russia and Germany, but she declared herself a typically English novelist because “most English people think life is not important enough to be tragic and too serious to be comic”.

What she looked for in other writers was “the quality of pity and kindness. I don’t see how this world is to be managed if we don’t pity each other.” This wasn’t a patronising kind of pity. In line with her Christian faith, it was – as she said – a form of kindness. It is a plea for sympathy, for courage and for understanding. In The Bookshop, she famously divides the world into ‘exterminators’ and ‘exterminatees’ – and her characters, the ones we root for, are always the latter. They are courageous and good and hopeful, but they are outsiders, too: marginalised, defeated by circumstance, failing through no fault of their own. But they are written, always, with tenderness. Perhaps, then, that’s Fitzgerald’s real legacy: her empathy for these exterminatees, her kindness.