#i think an article about her is the only gaming article i've read the comments on

[madegeeky]

Epic Free Game (til 26 Dec 2023, 10am ct)

Lost in transit while on a colonist ship bound for the edge of the galaxy, you awake decades later only to find yourself in the midst of a deep conspiracy threatening to destroy the colony. Explore the various planets and locations of Halcyon, including the mysterious Gorgon Asteroid and delightful distilleries of Eridanos. As you encounter various factions, all vying for power, the character you decide to become will determine how this player-driven story unfolds. (Includes all dlc.)

(Geeky note: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. This game isn't for everyone but considering that this is free, you should definitely grab it if you're interested. It's made by the people who did Fallout New Vegas (which was not Bethesda) and it's got a quirky sense of humor. While overall I think it's a great game, I think it's real strength is in the character-work for the npcs.)

[kris-mage-fics]

Thanks for the tag @phenanthreneblue!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Eight 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 7,656. So far I've only published short little one-shots. 3. What fandoms do you write for? Shepherds of Haven, Scarlet Hollow, and Ebon Light. 4. Top five fics by kudos 1. Had it Been Anyone Else (Ebon Light, it's Haron angst hours lol, spoilers for the end of the game on Ernol's route) 2. A New Room (Ebon Light, Haron fluff, spoilers for the end of the game) 3. Fog (Scarlet Hollow, Tabitha angst, no real spoilers) 4. An Unlikely Engagement (Shepherds of Haven, Kyrahlise/Blade, very, very minor spoiler for Chapter 8) 5. The Best Proof of Love is Trust (Shepherds of Haven, spoilers for Chapter 3 which is in the public demo) It doesn't escape me that they are almost in publication order 5. Do you respond to comments? Always! Though sometimes it takes me a while to do so. I rarely get them so it isn't that hard to respond to them. 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Absolutely Had it Been Anyone Else! It's literally pure angst. Though when I write for Tabitha it always ends up angsty too, so Fog and The Secret of the Greenhouse aren't exactly sunshine and roses. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Some may disagree, but I think The Best Proof of Love is Trust has a very happy ending! 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far.

9. Do you write smut? No? Yes? I've written some, but haven't published any. Smut is hard for me to write because I visualize everything, and there's a lot to visualize in a smut scene compared to a scene without much action. So it's exhausting to write. Also I suspect it's harder to keep sustained enough interest to write a full scene because I'm on the asexual spectrum. It's not something I'm opposed to, it's just harder than other writing for me. That said, there is a sex scene I really want to write, but it probably won't be very sexy, lol! 10. Craziest crossover? Haven't written any. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it would be foolish to say it'll never happen. ;) 14. All time favourite ship? I could make a tier list, but I don't have a favorite anymore than I have a favorite food or tea or board game, lol! 15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic that's a newspaper article on Kyrahlise. It's written as a hit piece on the Hero of Haven, trying to imply she's actually a bad person. The reporter interviewed people in Ashtown who know her, but reading between the lines you figure out they didn't dig up anything and are just overly skeptical of a Diminished woman who quickly gained some fame and power. I planned to end it with a little segment from the perspective of someone Kyrah used to know, where they figure out she's now the Hero everyone won't shut up about. I still like the idea, I just doubt I'll ever finish it.

Also I started one where it's written like the reports from one of the people sent to spy on Blade. Thing is the spy knows Blade, so they see him falling for Kyrahlise and are like, "wtf?!? is she enchanting him? is he actually in love? omg he's so bad at this! wow, it looks like she actually likes him too!" Also they think Kyrah is super sus because a lot of the things she does don't make sense and aren't explained. (Full disclosure: this idea was heavily inspired by a conversation other people had on the ShoH patreon.) 16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and banter, always knowing where my characters are in a scene and what they are doing (the upside of the visualization thing), sweet/cute moments, and angst when I'm in the right mood. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing, lol! Editing, it's hard for me to let go of trying to be 'perfect'. I'll get really stuck on a sentence or paragraph and obsessively revise it even though it's fine, just because I think it can be better. I know it's not healthy or sustainable, and I'm working on it. (I can point to a particular sentence in a fic that I literally spent hours on!) Action! It's the same visualization problem I have with writing smut, it's a lot to keep in my head and it quickly wears me out. Getting the right voice for a lot of characters. My writing tends to be introspective and verbose, which doesn't work for everyone. So it's a struggle to find a balance between the character's voice and my natural writing style. 18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think it's great, for other people to write! I'm pretty terrible at languages, and don't trust myself to get it right without consulting someone who knows that language. Given a lot of what I write for is fantasy with made up languages, that's not going to happen. 19. First fandom you wrote in? Ebon Light, in fact it's the reason I even tried writing in the first place! 20. Favorite fic you've written? I think it's a three way tie between: The Secret of the Greenhouse -- I think I did a good job getting some creepy vibes in such a short piece. It doesn't align with canon at all, but in my opinion it's my best Scarlet Hollow fic. The Best Proof of Love is Trust -- I feel like I succeeded at my goal of showing just how much thought Kyrahlise put into a big choice in Chapter 3, as well as some of her character and past. Had it Been Anyone Else -- I had the sudden need to break Haron's heart. I seem to have accomplished the mission since 100% of the comments mention it being either sad or heartbreaking.

Ngl, I don't know who to tag on this one. Because besides Phen, and one other person, I think most people I know only have one work on ao3, or none. So open tagging it is! If you see this and want to join in, consider yourself tagged, whether you are a mutual or not!

[fromtenthousandfeet]

HYBE Financials and Media Play Part 3

The more I think about it, the more I've come to the conclusion that everything I read about HYBE in the media is a lie. The company may not be particularly good at turning a profit, but they are masters at spinning a tale.

Here's an oldie but a goodie. Jungkook is given credit for HYBE's 4th quarter 2023 operational profit of $71.4 million USD. Operational profit is revenue - operational expenses, but not including interest or taxes. Notice how they highlight operational profit rather than net profit. Once interest and taxes were deducted, the net profit for 4Q23 was -$39.8 million dollars. That's just so insane.

Here's a recent shameless media play article crediting the firing of Min Hee Jin for the bump in HYBE's stock price this past week - on Billboard of all places. Ugh. Lazy journalism abounds. I was glad to see so many people pointing out in the comments that the stock price rose due to the stock buy back and not MHJ being fired, but too many BTS fans are still clueless. When will Army stop being company lackeys? Aargh! Grow up already!

In the next few weeks to months, I think it's going to become quite clear that HYBE does not have the money to pay out MHJ's put options in November, which is the real reason why they are desperate to get rid of her. I also think the company is up to its eyeballs in debt, and it's playing the game of taking on new debt, likely at higher interest rates, in order to pay off existing, maturing debt, quite a bit of which comes due in September. It's a ponzi scheme of borrowing. The finance team at HYBE probably isn't sleeping well these days.

At the end of the day, I feel really bad for the members of BTS, and frankly all the artists under HYBE, as well as the support staff who have worked so hard to put out quality music and performances over the years, only to watch Bang Si Hyuk spend all that money on worthless ventures, mansions, and cam girls.

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 1

I'm gonna strap in and do a Homestuck reread. I first read the comic when I was 17, and now I'm gonna be 31 in a month. During that time, my opinions on it have varied heavily, so let's see if I can properly collate my thoughts about this comic that has dominated a good chunk of my life.

I actually did give it a reread back in 2021, but I never wrote down any notes about it. Time to correct that mistake.

Right away we're introduced to John Egbert, a character that I've also held differing opinions about during my time in the fandom. I've gone from thinking he's boring, to one of the strongest characters in the story, and back to boring again several times. I hope I can get a more coherent grasp on our ostensible protagonist.

Well, I think it's noteworthy that his introduction page doesn't mention pranks or comedy as one of his interests. Being a goofy prankster is one of his defining character traits, yet the closest thing to that is this mention that he aspires to be a magician.

John's "magic chest" is full of novelty items, so it's easy to see why this dream of being a magician was supplanted with a love of pranks so early on. Hussie conflates close-up magic with practical jokes, and while superficially similar, they're definitely not the same thing.

I think John's "passion for really terrible movies" is the one consistent trait he carries throughout the comic. (And yeah, Mac and Me, Con Air, and Deep Impact all suck shit. John really does have atrocious taste). I don't believe we see any further references to programming, paranormal stuff, magic, or games after this act. Both this and the love of pranks are what solidify John's enduring characteristic of being a light-hearted cornball.

The beauty of user-suggested commands leads to this funny juxtaposition. This also establishes early on that John is easily suggestible; even an absurd command like this is able to tempt him just a tiny bit. This trait (for better or for worse) is one I'd argue is also a key part of John's character, as we'll see later on.

A joke like this was only really possible during these initial months of Obama's presidency. It's funny how it retroactively dates this comic.

John (and I suppose the rest of the kids as well) only has three friends added on his chat client. That's depressing. I wasn't a very sociable kid myself at his age, but I definitely had more than three friends on MSN back in the day. All of whom I met online.

Dave is introduced in the very first pesterlog and already we can see that John is a very annoying person to talk to. Even though he opens the conversation by bringing up Little Monsters, he feels the need to name drop the movie a second time just in case Dave didn't get the reference the first time (which he obviously did, given his response). He's very eager to talk about his special interests, I guess.

This is the first time Rose (TT) is mentioned. Very interesting that the first thing we learn about her is that she apparently has been "mackin on" Dave and asking him to play Sburb with her. Even though Dave is likely embellishing for comedic effect, it tells us that they have a very close relationship, given that he's the first person she asks to play the game with. Also DaveRose Nation has been eating since Page 35 lol.

In the same pesterlog, we get this line where Dave mentions how impractical the strife specibus is, since people obviously aren't regularly engaging in combat. These video game mechanics that seemingly everyone abides by have no practical function in their everyday lives. Clearly world building was not Hussie's first priority when writing this comic.

Correct, John. It really doesn't matter what the characters select as their strife specibus, since combat becomes increasingly irrelevant going forward. Ironically prescient comment.

The GameBro article is hilarious. I love you Dennis, you huge useless tool. Did you know that Dennis from GameBro has his own tag on AO3? I encourage everyone to go read the handful of stories on there because they're all super good.

John has the audacity to call his dad a cornball for liking harlequins, all while he's standing there wearing Groucho Marx glasses and a wizard hat. It's telling of his lack of self-awareness and disdain for other forms of humor that don't align with his own (i.e. lowbrow) tastes.

Here Hussie take a Shakespeare quote and misattributes it to Mark Twain. It's kind of a whatever joke, not really that funny. But then he does it again.

And then again!

Is this gag really that funny that it warrants being done three times in the same act? I think it's fucking lame.

Rose's first pesterlog. From the context here, it seems she and Dave had an off-screen conversation where he told her about John's gift. Her incessant flirting with Dave is also so well known in their friend group that John feels the need to bring it up right away. Jeez DaveRosers can't stop winning.

Note that Rose says "John" here while in the earlier log, Dave refers to Rose as "TT". John also calls her "TT" in a later log. As we later find out, all the kids already know each other's names. The only reason they refer to each other by their screen names is because their intro pages had yet to be released and the audience doesn't know their names yet. I get it, but it does read a little silly in-universe.

Awesome advert. God bless you, GameBro Magazine. BROBLERONE

This page is funny if only because I doubt the majority of Homestuck readers realize that the last paragraph is basically describing a lazy black man. How many of them will read "tawny gent" and "listless octoroon" and think they're just nonsense words?

"Caret Cake" hah okay that's a good one.

Wouldn't it have been crazy if John's missing chunk of hair remained that way until he got a command to fix it or something? But I guess that would've been too much effort for Hussie.

After a bunch of sylladex shenanigans (which I haven't mentioned because I don't find them very amusing. They make up a huge chunk of this act too, which is annoying.) John has finally installed the Sburb Beta. We're not told anything about this game except what is told in the spotty GameBro review, which describes it as some kind of game similar to The Sims where you "play house." And yes, it does resemble The Sims build mode, but this video game affects real life! Rose sets about manipulating objects in John's room and even alters the dimensions of his own house.

John's reaction is... well...

He's not at all fazed that Rose is manipulating reality before his eyes? Are all video games in Homestuck's world like this? I mean, if every character has an inventory system with built-in combat mechanics, it might make sense? This is never properly conveyed though, and it comes across as rather off-putting.

I think this is where the flaws in John's character become really apparent. He's very... underwhelming. He's almost always in this weird neutral state and rarely expresses any strong emotions. When he's frustrated, it's more of a mild annoyance or a temporary freakout before springing back to this basic... I don't even want to call it a "positive outlook" it really does feel like he's in this perpetually neutral state of mind until an external stimulus forces him to act. No thoughts are going on in this boy's head.

Hell, even when he's excited about something, it's only sort of temporary before he moves on to the next thing. He comes across as very emotionally stunted and it's hard to connect with him.

Is there a reason Rose is fucking around with the bathtub? It's not in response to a command, she just does it. She doesn't explain what she was trying to do with it, and only apologizes for dropping it in the middle of the hall since she was intending to move it to the driveway before her connection was interrupted. (The driveway bit was actually a command, but initially clicking on the tub wasn't.)

This insanely out of pocket quote has to be a top 10 Rose moment for sure. John's uncomfortable reaction seals this exchange.

Here's where John calls Rose "TT" as I mentioned earlier. Also, no Dave, you did not tell him to steer clear of the game. In fact, you were the one who suggested he play it with Rose. So why are you acting all weird and telling him to avoid her altogether? My guy, are you jealous or something?

Planet Fucking Jupiter is a top 10 Dave moment for sure.

We get to properly meet Rose. The fact that she hides stuff from the reader and doesn't fully obey some commands tells us that she's definitely not as suggestible as John. It's also funny how she refuses to use her arms at all in response to "Retrieve arms," instead using her legs to hide the box.

Man what's up with this Sims-ass architecture? An outdoor walkway with no railing? And with the weather outside, it's a wonder she didn't slip and fall to her death.

The first "End of Act Flash" is okay. John is faced with the final seconds of the countdown while a suspenseful track by Mark Hadley plays in the background. It's okay, I don't have anything else to say about it.

Overall Act 1 is kinda dull. I know there are people who swear by it, who claim that this is "peak Homestuck," but it's not for me. There are funny moments to be sure, but I can only put up with sylladex shenanigans for so long before things go stale. The biggest issue is that John is not at all an engaging protagonist. He has no agency and feels more like a prop for both Rose and the reader to boss around.

I think this Act suffers from Hussie trying to re-implement the same kind of adventure game format and jokes he used in Problem Sleuth, but it doesn't really work in Homestuck. The characters in Homestuck have actual dialogue and are supposed to be more fleshed out, unlike the comparatively flat characters that comprise the roster of PS.

Don't get me wrong, I adore PS and I don't think the lack of character depth is a detriment. Rather, it helps to put more emphasis on the overarching plot and wacky puzzle solving. It's established that Problem Sleuth is "hard-boiled detective", Ace Dick is "dumb muscle", and Pickle Inspector is "meek and fragile" and the reader doesn't expect them to act outside of their tropes. They truly feel like video game characters that the reader is supposed to control, using their different strengths to progress through the story.

John's problem is that he is ostensibly supposed to read like a 13 year old boy with hobbies and aspirations, but his suggestible nature makes him read more like a robot that blindly follows orders. Homestuck Act 1 wants to have both the wacky adventure game story and more fleshed out characters, but the end result isn't nearly as impressive. Either commit to making another PS-style story where the characters are vessels for the reader's control, or a plot where the characters have actual agency. Taking half-measures like this only creates bad results.

Hoo man this reread is getting off on the wrong foot. Hopefully the next Act is able to salvage things!

Read the next post here.

[snugglesquiggle]

right, pinned posts

the main thing i've been working on lately is Hostile Takeover, a longform murder drones fanfic about a lesbian killer robot torn between her directives and her own needs. i've been taking a break from that to write Of Commodified Contradiction, a series of shorts focused on the same pairing

my most extensive work, though, is the many writing about Black Nerve, a dark fantasy setting with giant insects wield magic that dissolves life and matter, mutant bat-blood and of course esoteric fungi. there's a couple of novels and LOT of lore posts

i have a website which is probably the best place to see all of my stuff:

but to get a taste of what you can find on that site, keep reading

most people are probably following me for my murder drones stuff.

as mentioned, i write the critically acclaimed J/Uzi fic, Hostile Takeover:

it's a beyond-novel-length enemies to lovers slowburn, and distinguishes itself by pulling it all off without heavy alteration to canon characterization.

most people are probably put off by the tagged ship, but i've received numerous comments to the effect of "i never liked this ship" or "i didn't think it could be done" followed by "but you somehow pulled it off".

give it a shot!

besides that, i've read a lot of murder drones fanfic, and maintain a page on my website dedicated to indexing and reviewing fics that i'd recommend

several of the people following me are writers, who may be interested in know that i've written several essays on the craft of writing. people tend to find them pretty insightful!

i've written many stories other than Hostile Takeover. you can find them on my site; there's too many to list, but in general, i write nonhuman character near-exclusively. (my friends were only so surprised when i became obsessed with murder drones)

still, HT is my most successful work for a reason, and i'm not certain fans of that will enjoy my earlier writing; i have reservations about recommending most of them. A Chimerical Hope is still cool, i think, though its issues are undeniable

the majority of my site is dedicated its overarching setting: Black Nerve, a dark fantasy world of giant sapient insect ninjas and corrupting fungus and gruesome mutagenic blood magic. there's so much going on there that i just cant get into all of it here. not even sure where you should begin reading

lore posts like "In Dialogue With Plagues", or "Lardsuckers and (What Were) Grubsuckers" give you a taste of just how freaky the setting is, and i think "The Duality of Mantis" is a great look at the weird psychology of the dominant species. but there's so many articles i can't list them all

writing is probably what i've done the most of, but i have other skills :3

i've released four albums of electronic music on bandcamp:

and there's more!

i'm sometimes an artist, and there's gallery on my site with over three hundred pieces i've drawn over the years. i mostly draw these weird alien dudes i invented, plus a lot of praying mantises and dragons and pokemon. quality varies a lot and i'm bad about staying in practice, but here are some pieces i think turned out rather well

ok, now is that it?

well, mostly. i have some poetry that's neat, and i recently produced a game demo that's shaping up into something interesting:

but now, that's probably everything of serious note.

if you read through all of that, i love you. thank you for your time and i hope there's something here you appreciated

[deathsweetblossoms]

Elain, like Elide, Uses Appearance to Make People See What She Wants them to See

I've been playing with this idea for awhile and as soon as I started reading TOG for Elide & Lorcan, it really pulled the whole theory together. Elide is able to borrow the personas of people she knows to get people to do what she wants. Similarly, she knows how to change her appearance (and even Lorcan's) to get people to give her information or do what she needs them to. She knows how to play a role. And Elain? "Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles".

In Feyre’s bonus chapter in ACOSF, Rhys suggests Elain “felt she had to be (sweet and innocent) or else she’d disappoint (everyone).” My personal headcanon is that almost every article of clothing she wears plays exactly into this sentiment. In my theory, she is very similar to Elide, in a way that guarantees a future in espionage. For Elide this was a survival tactic, for Elain she was almost compelled to play into the roles expected of her so as not to disappoint those she cares about. Both motivations for their manipulations play into each woman's journey to self empowerment. It's not seen as "evil" or "bad", it's simply a tool in their arsenal.

The infamous black dress in Hewn City. "Both sisters wore black. Both walked behind Rhys and Feyre...they'd planned it that way, wanting Eris to see for himself how valuable Nesta was." "Elain in black was ridiculous....the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face....Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight*, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl." Elain is canonically the most beautiful sister. Knowing that, she and everyone knew the political game required all curious eyes to avoid her and to gravitate towards Nesta. The best way to do this is to dress so far down that none of the members of Hewn City would even look twice at her -- which she achieved. Cassian mentions that "he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled (Elain)", but that she'd squared her shoulders and insisted she was a part of the Night Court anyway. That she would do what needed to be done. Knowing that, I think Cassian played right into how she intentionally dressed herself for this event. When Elain wants to feel beautiful, she braids her hair or adds adornments to her body (*see my next point to further prove this), but she purposefully avoided doing that to the extreme. Cassian played right into what she wanted him to see, in the same way that Lorcan played right into Elide's ploy to come across as a naive girl. (Until she isn't anymore and he starts to see who she truly is).

In ACOWAR, when Feyre returns from the Spring Court and comments: “Her hair was down — not even braided. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen it unbound. She wore a moon-white silk dressing gown.” Elain was obviously in crisis mode here, but it says a lot that Feyre can’t remember seeing Elain’s hair unbound — so even when they were starving, even when she had visited her in ACOTAR and ACOMAF, Elain always puts some effort into her hair. * Furthermore, in ACOFAS when Elain sees Azriel in the potato scene, she immediately excuses herself to remove her apron and "rebraid her hair". Canonically, she returned with her hair rebraided. For Azriel. Because she wanted to look pretty for him. Only when Elain was in basically a deep depression was she unable to care enough about her appearance to leave her hair completely unbound. Keeping this into consideration, it casts the scene in Hewn City in a different, curious light in that she put very minimal effort into making her hair look presentable (unbound and simply pinned back with the pearl clips? The girl didn't want ANYONE to notice her).

In ACOTAR, Feyre says this about Elain: “my sister was beaming, content — prettier than I’d ever seen her, even in her simple muslin gardening dress. Her cheeks were flushed beneath her large, floppy hat.” This quote is what inspired this whole theory. I have always wondered if this was Elain's "natural" state, when she felt most comfortable, when she was happy, when she wasn't putting on a show was when she was wearing her simple, muslin gardening dress. In this scene, she was talking about her passions and showing Feyre the garden she grew with her own efforts. She didn't need to put on a show for queens, or neighbors, etc. She was simply with her sisters.

So, what does this all mean? Personally, I think we will see the inner workings of Elain's penchant for intentional fashion in her upcoming POV and we will finally see what it looks like when she isn't playing into the "sweet and innocent" role. Like Elide, I believe she will continue to use appearances and charm as a tool to protect herself and to assist the IC. I also wouldn't be surprised if it assisted with a particular skill set required for gleaning information from rival courts to bring down the bad guys. A few people have expressed that they wish to see Elain wear THE SLUTTIEST DRESS OF ALL TIME when she revisits the Hewn City, and I fully believe she will. It will play into her journey of self discovery and self empowerment; a way to express herself that is still her but with a little more kick to it.

[chaewberry]

hi! i was the previous anon. i’m glad that you’re happy about the message! i was honestly overthinking it like “uh oh did i say too much…” and i might just have that worry again.

i will read the article when i have the time! (roland barthes has actually been on my back log for a bit…) for now, when you mention “when words fail, how will they reach out with touch instead” gets me even more psyched about future chapters. of course, no pressure. i feel there’s so much potential when it comes to plotting and what not. the concept of touch has a lot of ground to cover, especially when it’s one of the human senses, and it can have various effects on a person, as touch can corner, discomfort, soothe…things like that!

also, yay =3 “first phase of the fic” was what i was thinking about when commenting on the mc, because i genuinely DO want to come to love her. i already enjoy her interactions with the others; the dialogue is so immersive. (off topic-ish, this sort of thing reminds me of the mobile game “death palette” where this girl can be irritating in the beginning with how picky she can get but the player’s perspective of her changes by the end as the story progresses… at least that’s how it was for me, anyway. and that very sequence i’ve had may apply here.)

about diluc, relatable. we have so little of young diluc, from the webtoon to in-game character stories…we have a glimpse of him from merchandise and events as well. and depictions of him in fanworks can be so different from each other. regardless, i want to know more about him from your perspective. or the mc’s. either one fits.

FINALLY, in regards to style, i wanted to mention jane austen before. i got that impression because there was a time i was reading sense and sensibility and reading the art of touching reminded me of that time when i was wrapped up in every word (fondly of course). but it would’ve been embarrassing if i got it wrong 🥹 so i too am pleased to know i was on the mark ^_^

OKAY I’M MORE THAN A LITTLE SHY NOW. with this, i really hope you have a good time writing the art of touching!!!!!! (๑>◡<๑) i’ll show my support however i can~

you can never say to much lmao every chance i get to talk about this fic i grasp it! it's the only story i've poured so much passion into to be honest, i have written down the plot on paper and expanded upon it even. 'tis truly an accomplishment for a lazy person like moi.

as for the mc -- it's kind of a mixed bag concerning her personality and whether you come to like her or not lmao. i don't know if people will truly like her, hate her, or if it will be somthing in between. time will tell, however, and i can't wait hehehehehehe. i definitely want to see how i come to understant young diluc, what can i do to play with his character etc, etc. i know for certain the mc will enjoy tormernting young diluc and even later on when they're adults. though there will be a difference <3

jane austen's and virginia woolf's writing style hmm i need to consume them both.

once again, thank you for your support dear reader, and i hope you keep enjoying this story as it progresses!

[hard-core-super-star]

as a DC/Marvel fan you should know that there is no correct timeline, everything happens at the same time, that is, there is no “first” conversation. fax.

why would I be bored? you're so cool wtf 🤨 and okay, so if we were to talk about them I would follow your encouragement... which is definitely not what's happening here, definitely.

the therapy thing caught me off guard- but yeah, things are getting so fucked up it's kind of sad actually. I have nothing to add since you're literally taking the words out of my mouth here. I'm not particularly a football fan, not that kind at least, so I didn't even know about the existence of this team and these fans before. I was definitely happier when I didn't know they existed to tell the truth and you're right about them being disgusting, I only got a glimpse with some fans who commented on Hailee's pics in the game (mostly made by men. not trying to generalize but wow, how shocking) the urge to throw up was real.

It seems that now it's time to sit back and hope for the bare minimum. that's it, let's focus on the good things, meaning: Kate's so-called quirks. (yeah, sometimes it can be hard not to see Hailee herself in her characters-)

– 🌟

you know what? that's a very good point and i could probably make a very cool reference or joke to expand on it but my brain is tired so...my bad

first i'm mysterious and now i'm cool? my ego is going to end up being massive at this rate. i'm very glad we're definitely not talking about them because this article does a great job at explaining a lot of things but it's also kind of a long read. and i definitely wouldn't like to point out the similarities between michelangelo and emily dickinson or the fact that said similarities in their poetry is what sent me down a bunch of rabbit holes, not all.

you have no idea how refreshing it is to find someone who understands what i mean and feels the same way. it's hard to explain how tired yet worried i am. it's all just an endless loop that ends in me getting more and more annoyed each day. i've never liked football and i'm so pissed hailee is the reason i've learned so much about it. everything i know about JA and the buffalo bills has been against my will but my insta explore page doesn't care and keeps making me see it. [AND YES, i second that. i know "not all men" and whatever but every comment i've seen from his fans is disgusting. and it only furthers my belief that she cannot be happy or okay because on what earth would someone like hailee be okay with those misogynistic assholes]

yes, please, i kept saying how much i didn't want to think about the situation and ended up writing a bunch of really long rants 😶 i would 119% prefer to talk about kate and all the thoughts i have floating around in my brain about her. [i'd also love to hear some of yours because i can't help but wonder how universal my way of understanding kate's personality is. last point about hailee, the fact that all her characters are queer/queer-coded in some way is incredibly telling hence my constant 'the closet is glass' comments because...come on]

[oraclekleo]

All the Information You Need

Hello!

This is a basic pinned post where you can find links to Master Posts for both K-Pop and Personal Readings and other additional info. It will be updated. Stay tuned!

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About Kleo:

I'm she/her, born and living in Czech Republic, fluent in Czech and English language, born 15.04.1991, tarot reader since 2006. I love dogs, tea, Scandinavian thriller books, British crime and sketch shows. I cook, bake, love Excel. I enjoy listening to audio erotica. I'm scared of spiders, heights and clowns. I've travelled a good portion of Europe + Egypt and Tunisia back in my teens. I'm not very emotional but I have excellent analytical skills. Many of my tarot readings here are NSFW, minors do not interact.

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Kleo's Tarot Decks [01]

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Idols After Dark - CLOSED

(21+ celebrities ONLY)

(Isn't based in Tarot reading!!!)

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[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

THE GLORIOUS SIGHT OF MC SHOUTING *WORDS* + A BIT MORE(?)

...This part honestly deserves a separate post LOL ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

→(Left from Right) It's the chronological order of her rapid changes in mood, and by the time we reached the 5th image, she's already tired. :< However, the 6th image => we're again back to her "most angry" sprite-- cause.... (｡•́︿•̀｡)

-

⌚ SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 UNDER THE CUT. DON'T CONTINUE IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SPOILED! ⌚

For the context (Long Story Short):  Victor does whole lot of crazy things to ensure the safety of the people of the city. Which however, not only constantly puts his life in danger, but also makes him a needle in the public’s eyes. In order to take things one step further- within 2 weeks he acquires all the pharmaceutical companies producing the “Small Syringes,” (an illicit and fatal drug) - which leads to the shortage of “Small Syringes” used in the Hunter Game- with no way to re-product.

With MC’s insistence of not letting him do anything alone- she publishes the news that LFG has maliciously acquired the pharmaceutical industries. This rises up the heats even more than ever.

The part below is two weeks after the incident: At MC’s office, while MC is thinking about how Victor thought of everything while taking this huge risk, she notices a news.

-

News: Next, let's take a look at today's economic news. In response to LFG's malicious acquisition of the Pharmaceutical Companies--

I subconsciously stop the work in my hands, and prick up my ears to listen. I didn't use to pay much attention to the economic news, but recently I've been taking notes of the relevant reports everyday.

Even though the price of medicines haven't increased at all like those "experts" have predicted, public still continue to treat LFG as the target of condemning in speech and writing.

MC: Victor clearly didn't do anything. He just borrowed people to cuss here!

MC: Completely lacking vision! Prejudiced, unilateral!

I stare at the screen very fiercely, as if in this way, my inner voice can be conveyed across the internet, and I can get these people to apologize to LFG right now.

News: In addition, Fāngliú Group has also issued a formal declaration today, stating that they will stop most of their trading projects with LFG.

MC: ....Kicking someone when they're down!!

I take a few deep breaths in extreme anger, calm myself down, and look at the news again.

MC: (reading an article) "A number of business enterprises are collectively rising in revolt, and LFG is facing unceasing internal trouble and outside aggression. Can we boldly predict that LFG is running out of steam?"

I look at the webpage, and enormously roll my eyes.

MC: Don't bother. LFG will be fine!

As Victor "expected," those groups that invested in "Small Syringes" related industries, their spearheads have been pointing at LFG after their interests were damaged.

News: ....And [MC's Company Name], the company that brought the complete picture to the attention of the public, has also progressively stopped their business dealings with LFG.

MC: What do you guys know!

I squint my eyes resentfully, wishing I could take out my keyboard right now, and battle it out with the crowd in the comments.

However, before I have the time to do anything else, a text message with a crisp beep leaps on my screen.

Victor’s message: “When will your proposal arrive?”

MC’s message: “I'm writing, I'm writing.”

On the surface, [MC's Company Name]'s contact with LFG is progressively diminishing. Victor and I also no longer have personal relationships.

But in reality, Victor still thoroughly inspects my program plans and proposals. He is still that “evil capitalist” who “squeezes” me.

It's only that, in this moment when the wind and waves are the fiercest, our communication can only be done by means of the mobile phones, progressing silently.

I look at the screen of my phone, and finally raise the corners of my mouth.

Victor’s message:  “Remember to be on time.”

Victor’s message:  “Also, I can't really tell what exactly you took in the picture you sent me this morning.”

MC’s message: “Ahh Kitten! Although it chose to run away the moment I pressed the shutter.... still it's possible to judge, right?”

Apart from work, I also share all the big and small, all kinds of trivial things in my life with him, without leaving anything out.

It seems that, this alone can make his life a little more relaxed and leisurely.

And I don't know if it's my illusion, but recently Victor's replies have been more frequent than usual, and the contents seem to be a little more tender.

Victor’s message:  “....Your standards of judgement is truly different from ordinary people.”

Victor’s message:  “Are you sure it's not a strangely shaped pumpkin?”

MC: ....

Okay, it's my illusion.

The days of having no choice but to keep in touch almost only with mobile phone, continue smoothly for a while.

-

✧ Translation of this chapter in details: Part 1 || Part 2

✧ More Season 2 contents: Here!

[papirouge]

I'll never sign up for reddit but I like fds too! since it's the only place on reddit where women can only comment. On posts that highlight lvm and misogyny it's nice not to read male opinions that will always favor the abuser and ignore the women victimized by them. Or they vaguely say under an article about rapists getting no jail "wow people suck :(" like no. Name the problem. Lvm dont just suck. They're a danger. And it's a nice place to read how to you should never lower your standards while dating because having a baby with the wrong person (like a guy who thinks it's so funny to play video games and ignore you while you're in labor) is worse than having no baby. And I love how critical they are of porn, porn use in males, anti sex work as its exploitative, and overall critical of hookup culture that has never benefited women. I hope more women wake up, raise their standards and live like a queen by making their own money. Financial independence should never be sacrificed. It's what keeps you safe from abusers who want to trap you. Is fds perfect? Nothing is but it sure is nicer than the sludge of reddit's other subs 🤷🏾‍♀️

"it's a nice place to read how to you should never lower your standards while dating because having a baby with the wrong person (like a guy who thinks it's so funny to play video games and ignore you while you're in labor) is worse than having no baby"

GIIIIRL The horror stories I've read on this sub, I- Deadbeat fathering x1000000

Yeah I'm not ashamed I've been browsing on this sub regularly and I don't see where the hate is coming from (mostly from tradfem). It's very sad to see that whenever women are unapologetic to set their boundaries, standards or preference, they almost automatically get labelled as "gold digger" "manipulative" "bossy".... when they're just minding their business and don't abuse anyone.

Not every woman wants to be married to leave her familial home, so yes, I think it's a good thing there is a scene for this category of women who want to learn to manage their budget and optimize their celibate lifestyle. Contrary to the popular belief, FDS isn't only for rich or wanting to be rich women lol Learning to be savvy in social/romantic relationships is useful for ALL women.

And yes, even Christian women. We have to be mindful on how to choose one for marriage. As I always said, having standards is not a bad thing. I'm not going to marry someone just because he's just a nice Christian man. Not all Christians men are equal (i.e regarding their worth for marriage). Do I have to remind you who Ruth married? Boaz was no dusty broke man💀 This girl knew what she was doing👑 (by definition, Ruth did an hypergamy move)

It legitimately pains me to see how low the bar for Christian men has become....

[dutchdread]

"The promised land, I think I can meet her there".

This article argues that it's unreasonable to see the line as a romantic gesture from Cloud, and that an alternative interpretation of the line as a comment concerning the impending doom is more likely. __________________________________________________

People try to use this to prove that Cloud wants Aerith ever since 1997. Now lets be clear here, this interpretation is patently absurd as soon as you think about it for more than 2 seconds. Do you really think for a second that Square would end the game with Cloud randomly telling Tifa as they're about to die, "you know what I want to tell you before we die? I don't love you and I'm glad I'm dying so I can be with another woman in the afterlife"? They wouldn't, this is the most unreasonable story interpretation I've ever heard, whatever that line is meant to mean, it wouldn't be that. Let's be clear here, the only people who think that this line is a genuine argument in favor of Clerith, are people who are already Cleriths. They see the line, and find it to be in line with their beliefs, and it is. The problem is that that's not how science is done. The question isn't whether or not a piece of evidence is in line with your point of view, it's whether it disproves the opposite point of view, which in this case it doesn't. (Also see: "The Wittgenstein test") It should be noted that arguments like these do not do Cleriths any favors, because in addition to proving nothing, they show something fundamentally problematic about the Clerith view of the story. In order to believe that this line in incompatible with a Cloti interpretation of the story, there are a number of tangentially related positions that you'd have to defend. 1: It's impossible to want to be reunited with anyone except if you love them romantically. 2: Cloud is an absolute asshole who would dump a woman he just had sex with, just as they're about to die. 3: Tifa is the worlds biggest simp. 4: This is how SE wants you to see their characters. In one fell swoop of a bad story interpretation you've undermined the importance of all other forms of love, you've undermined the importance of Clouds character arc concerning guilt. You've basically trampled on those who suffer from mental health issues by simplifying their issues into love cliches, you've made a villain of Clouds character, made a mockery of Tifas character, and revealed that you don't understand basic storytelling.

This is the fundamental problem with these arguments that cause many of us to develop a distinct distaste for Clerith as a ship, because when Cleriths attempt to argue in favor of it, it often comes in the form insults towards all characters and stories involved. You could have a story about Cloud loving Aerith, but if defending said story requires you to argue that Cloud would leave a girl with two children, one of which is dying, for no other reason besides being lovesick, then that does a disservice to the characters, the story, and the franchise in general. In a sense, by trying to defend Clerith like this you're insulting the entirety of Final Fantasy. Are there people who are assholes? Yes, are there people who get straight up "pumped and dumped"? Yes. Is that the sort of hero that SE is trying to show us? Obviously not. (for more information regarding this I advise you read: Insane hobbits article where he touches on the differences between clean and messy narratives) If SE wanted to end the game with Cloud proclaiming his love to Aerith in some way, they wouldn't have Tifa hanging on his side while he's doing it, and she wouldn't respond with "yeah, lets go meet her" like the universe biggest simp. So what is actually said? Well, I am not a translator, but as far as I can tell Japanese doesn't have pronouns and the line generally refers to meeting people in the promised land, which includes Tifa in the people going, and it's not specifically about Aerith. Is Aerith included? Of course, she's probably even the main person to meet there, she's certainly singled out as the person talked about by certain supplementary materials, but it's not a romantic sentiment, it's a tragic "we're about to die" sentiment, meant to convey a more generally positive message about being "reunited" with those who have died. The more likely paraphrasing for this scene is: "Cloud asks for an answer from the planet, the planet reveals the lifestream, Cloud and Tifa realize they're about to die. Cloud muses that he thinks he gets it now, they're all going to die and be reunited in the lifestream, both with each other, as well as those who have died, with Aerith being the most obvious and recent example." So is there any evidence for this? Well, for one there is the storyboard for the scene:

c「帰るぞティファ」 t「え？」 c「俺達も帰ってからやることがあった。まだ…あの山の向こうを見てない」 t「うん…帰ろう」

Cloud: "I'm going home Tifa" Tifa: "What?" Cloud "We had something to do after we got home. We haven't seen the other side of the mountain yet ..." Tifa: "Yeah ... let's go home"

"the other side of the mountain" is a reference to the mountains of Nibleheim, where Tifa believed the dead went. In other words, this is either a reference to them going home because they have stuff to do, which ties into the general idea that Cloud and Co had to live in order for their sins to be forgiven, as is evidenced by:

“I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” ~Cloud in case of Tifa.

Or more likely it's be a reference to how they're about to die. Neither interpretation says anything about this scene being intended to be a romantic sign towards Aerith. Now, of course, the line was changed, and intentions can change during development. But if we're unsure on what the meaning of a line is, then going back to the storyboard is a pretty good way to get context.

Page 27 of the FFVII Ultimania omega:

"They're talking about", confirming that this is a mutual discussion, and not Cloud in isolation.

Page 203 of the FFVII Ultimania omega:

Provides context for the intended ideas the line is meant to convey. It calls back to earlier concepts concerning death not being the end, and is something Cloud and Tifa talk about together.

From: Final Fantasy Art Museum movie card ( https://twitter.com/dorobbongie )

These are not prescriptive canon, but descriptively they can give us some indication of how we're supposed to interpret the line.

Also reinforces the idea that the final line is meant as a more inclusive statement concerning reunions after death. Taking these points into consideration it becomes unreasonable to take the "I think I can meet her there" as a shipping line between Cloud and Aerith. If it were:

SE wouldn't have hung Tifa from Clouds hips.

Wouldn't have had Tifa agree with the idea.

Wouldn't have done it as the two were about to die.

Wouldn't have the storyboard refer to a shared journey beyond the mountains.

And most importantly, SE wouldn't have followed it up with Cloud commenting moments later that he's going to live in order to atone for his sins, and that things would be different now that he has Tifa. Clearly meeting again in the afterlife was more of an immediate danger rather than an immediate goal:

As Tifa looked away from the sky towards the ground, she was fearful of the future. However, Cloud beside her chose to smile gently. It was a smile that she hadn’t seen before during their journey. Cloud noticed her gaze and asked, “What’s wrong?” “Cloud, you’re smiling.” “I am?” “Yeah.” “It all starts now. A new…” Cloud looked for the right words. “A new life.” “I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” “That’s right…” “But when I think about how many times I’ve thought about how I was going to start a new life, it’s funny.” “Why?” “Because I’ve always failed everything.” “That’s not funny.” “After this … I think I’ll be okay.” Cloud was silent for a long time before he spoke again. “Because I have you this time.” “You’ve always had me.” “What I mean is kind of different,” Cloud answered with another smile. -Case of Tifa; revised; released with ACC.

__________________________________________ thank you "thelifestream.net" for some of this information, as well as Kagesakura (https://otp-oasis-heavenxearth.tumblr.com).

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I don't remember if I've sent this ask before and just forgot, so sorry if I have, but: in your opinion, what are some early indicators of Marco's strategic mind/ruthlessness? When I read the series I didn't really notice it until mid-series when the characters start commenting on it, at which point it's already a fairly developed trait.

So I’m going to split this out by the two traits — strategizing and being an ice-cold mamakiller — because I do think that they’re closely related, but they’re also two slightly different tendencies that Marco displays even early on.

Early signs of Marco’s strategic mind:

Spotting the pattern in third-page newspaper articles about oceanographers and sudden yacht races in #4 and successfully putting together that that means the yeerks are also sending expeditions after Ax

Insisting the Animorphs show up to meetings separately (#3) and never talk where they can be overheard (#2) because he puts the most consideration into making sure they don’t suddenly start hanging out as a group

Putting the “smart” into “smart aleck” pretty much any time there’s a near-death situation going on because he’s the only one who remains articulate and snappy even while literally bleeding to death 

Keeping everyone calm before the battles through blurting out lots of silly observations about how weird their lives are these days

Helping the team unwind after battles by complaining about everything but the actual horribleness of the situation

Generally thinking on his feet a lot faster to recast the situation, in contrast to Cassie tending to get stuck in “must feel our feelings” mode or Rachel and Tobias charging into situations because they’re emotionally invested

Being so good at strategic thinking that the first thing Jake says about him in #1 is “Marco has this amazing ability to analyze games and figure out all the littletricks, so sometimes he beats me” even though Jake himself gets 4x as much practice thanks to having a Sega at home

Demanding that everyone think things through before going forward with the plan to attack a ship the size of Delaware (#3) or to chase dreams at the bottom of the ocean (#4)

But also: forcing the issue of “shut up and do something” when Jake’s at risk of overthinking everything in the middle of a situation

In #4, it’s turning into a dolphin mid-conversation so that everyone else has no choice but to go with the “shove him overboard mid-morph” plan

In #3, it’s him yelling “let’s do it” ahead of Rachel to stop Jake from going around in circles about the fish plan for all eternity

Knowing the speed of light (#5) and the percent-to-elapsed-time conversion (#4) off the top of his head

Figuring out how to work Chapman’s yeerk-tech computer even faster than Ax does through educated guesses (#5)

Making everyone get on the floor before demorphing from bugs for the first time so that they don’t fall off the wall and get injured — something even Cassie didn’t figure out in spite of her insect expertise (#5)

Early signs of Marco’s ruthlessness:

Not quite being willing to let Ax die (#4) or be stranded on Earth forever (#5), BUT also being a lot more willing to consider either outcome if it’ll keep his friends safe

Jumping very quickly, far more quickly than anyone else, from “Jake’s acting weird” => “Jake might be a controller” => “Jake needs to be tied up in the woods for the next three days either way” => “let’s send Ax to Jake’s house while the rest of us prepare to murder Jake if necessary” (#6)

Demonstrating a certain lack of compassion for Peter, especially when contrasted to Cassie (who has to deal with a lot less of the impact of Peter’s inability to parent, but still) in a way that pushes into brutal pragmatism at times (#4, #5)

Having his reasons, but also definitely starting the war with a “look out for myself and my own first, everyone else in the world as a distant second” attitude, and only committing to the war when it turns out that it’s his mom at stake

Using a bomb threat to clear a supermarket so that witnesses won’t see Ax (#5) — not the worst thing the kids ever do, but an interesting contrast to Jake’s unwillingness to steal even necessities

Knowing way better than any of the others that one or more of them is going to die, and that they’re all already traumatized as of #5

That’s not an exhaustive list, and I agree that he develops those traits more throughout the war until eventually it’s him pushing for Jake to flush the Pool ship (#53) and manipulating the entire Andalite Electorate with one hand while he puppetmasters the Yeerk Empire with the other (#54).  But I also agree that the foundations are there, even early on in the war.

[beetlegoose01]

stolen whispers: chapter 1

AN: this fic isn’t a request, it’s a story i’ve been preparing for a lil while and I’m so excited to share this with you all <3

I’ll link it on my Archive if you prefer to read it there. Also warning, there’s quite a few OCs.

Time: 2028 (Scorbus have been married for two years)

Summary: When a new generation of Death Eaters kidnap Scorpius, Albus and Rose put aside their differences to rescue him.

TW: Kidnapping/Language/minor violence

~~~~

Two witches wearing shadowy black robes entered the tavern, finding a table near the back. They ordered their mead, waiting for their third partner impatiently. It was a crowded area, so thankfully there was a small chance they would be overheard.

"We don't want more mead." The first woman growled, tapping her long nails at the table. The bartender, a tall man with a mustache put the drinks down.

"I didn't think so." He lips curled into a grin as he morphed into a younger man with wild dusty brown hair, wearing matching robes. He was handsome, but had an eerie presence to him. Any reasonable person would have at least flinched at the transformation, though neither witch did. "Hello ladies." He grinned cheekily.

"Soren, enough playing games." The second woman said, though she was smirking.

Soren barked out a laugh. "It was funny, Mara. And you know it."

The first woman, Lilith narrowed her eyes. She pulled down her hood, revealing cascading inky black hair down her shoulders. A scar that showed no sign of mending was down her cheek. "Your skills are impressive, but useless if you don't use them for our own gain. Don't forget that." She pulled her hood back.

"Understood." He murmured, taking a seat.

"We have much to discuss," She continued, flicking her wand idly. "Our current plan in action. Our...act of revenge. It's been thirty years since The Tenebris was wrongfully killed. I am sick and tired of his name being tossed around in history like he was some monster. He was on the right side."

"Are you certain we want to call the Dark Lord that?" Mara asked suspiciously.

"Shh! You know if anyone hears us, they'll lock us up for good. For speaking our minds." Lilith said. "It's safer we call him by his code name."

Her companions nodded.

"Because of his loss, we have mudbloods in positions of power. Our siblings that fought for his cause are locked up. Or worse, dead."

Mara and Soren looked grim.

"If we had more allies, perhaps we would have had a chance." Soren noted. "We weren't even alive then but...I have a feeling if we were..."

"Just because we weren't alive then, doesn't mean we don't have opinions over the lives stolen!" Mara argued. "That damn Harry Potter."

"Correct. And Soren is right too. For once. If we had more allies, or better yet...certain allies didn't betray us. The Malfoys for instance." She took a sip of her drink.

"Are you suggesting something?" Mara asked.

"Of course I am, don't be so daft." Lilian said, deadly calm. "I want to make that family suffer for what they did. My uncle Vincent Crabbe died for their selfishness. Draco Malfoy had a chance to save him, and he refused like the coward he is. His mother Narcissa lied to Tenebris' face. They are backstabbing filth that besmirched the Sacred 28. No, it isn't just about their betrayal or avenging those we lost in the war. Think of the big picture. They have the capabilities to join our side. To...respawn a new generation of Death Eaters. But that's not all...

"The Malfoys have lots of gold." She drawled. "Surely, they'll spare a few for us in exchange for something important. Or rather...someone."

"Someone?" Soren paused. "What are you suggesting?"

"Regretfully, Astoria Malfoy has passed on." Mara didn't sound the least bit sympathetic, instead stated it blandly. "So using her as a ransom for Draco is a no go."

"Ah, but there is still someone left." Lillian said, removing a small photograph from her cloak, she slid it across the table.

A young man with platinum hair was pictured, beaming brightly in Healer Robes.

"Scorpius Malfoy."

Soren and Mara exchanged a look of satisfaction.

"Bring him to me."

~~~~~~~~~~

The best thing about mornings, at least to Albus, was waking up beside his husband. The sun's bright rays peaked through the window of their cream colored bedroom, slowly stirring them both awake. If it was up to him, he would stay in their warm bed, arms wrapped around Scorpius until noon.

Scorpius rolled over, so that they were facing each other. His eyes fluttered open, and Albus felt his heart melt at his sapphire eyes.

"Hi." He yawned. His voice was slightly croaky, no doubt from the morning.

Albus replied by nuzzling his nose, then kissed his cheek. "Hi honey."

Scorpius laughed lightly. "Let's get up then. Start the day? It's a Saturday. We have the whole weekend to spend together."

"I'd rather spend it here with you."

Bathilda mewed from the kitchen.

"But our child is hungry." Scorpius teased, stretching as he slid out of bed. Albus begrudgingly slumped after him, not eager to wake up before ten am. But his own stomach was growling too.

"Speaking of children," Albus said, starting to work on their breakfast as Scorpius poured Bathilda's food. "Iris is pregnant again. James told me through a Howler yesterday."

"Really?" Scorpius' eyes widened. "That's great news!"

"Yeah, not for my ears." He commented dryly, still traumatized by James' excited screeching in his ear. "Baby number three." He whistled. "Do you think they're trying to make an entire quidditch team? With Teddy and Vic's lot included, they're on their way."

Though he was joking, Scorpius noticed that Albus was glowing, happy for his brother and sister in law. That was one of the many reasons he loved Albus. His love for his siblings.

"Perhaps. When are they due?"

"September. Which means...that's where they scurried off to last Christmas party." Albus quipped. "To have a little fun."

"Albus!" Scorpius scolded. "Honestly, only you would make a beautiful moment gross."

"It's life, Scorp!" He chuckled. "You're a Healer, you should know these things."

"We'll have to visit. Maybe bring a gift basket to congratulate them." He mused, smiling fondly. "I can't wait to meet our new niece or nephew." There was a wistful look in his eye that Albus caught.

"You've got that look on your face." He noted, amused. He served the plates of bacon sandwiches on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"That Scorpius 'I want something but I'm not going to spell it out for you' face."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh." Albus said, forest green eyes brightening in amusement. "What's up?" He took a seat, tucking into breakfast.

"Well," Scorpius started, staring at his food. "I was thinking..." He stopped himself, hesitant to continue his train of thoughts.

"Yeah?" Albus nudged him gently.

"I want a child." He said, his voice quiet, but firm. "I love my nieces and nephews so much, but they aren't...ours. I want to start a family with you, Albus. Raise a little one of our own to be bright and wonderful and brave and..."

Albus' expression softened. "I do too. You know I do, Scorpius. It's just...difficult right now." He stared at his wedding band. "You know it's harder for us than any hetero couple." He waved his hand vaguely. "Adoption is hard, surrogacy is expensive. Maybe once we settled into our careers more, we can talk about it."

"I think we're ready to go beyond just talking about it, Al."

"We're still young. We've still got time. But...I definitely want to work it out. Somehow, we will. We always do."

Scorpius beamed, reaching to kiss Albus' knuckle. "Thank you." He sat up abruptly. "Oh, I almost forgot- it's the farmer's market today."

Albus snorted. "You're exactly like your dad, you know?"

"Yes yes yes, but we should go!" Scorpius said, levitating the plates to the sink and it automatically was clean due to the floating sponges.

"We? I've got some work to do. I'm not very fond of small talk with old people selling fruit."

"Al, it's really good fruit." Scorpius said seriously. "And it's not all old people. I've seen some of our old schoolmates there."

Albus cringed. "That's even worse."

"Don't be so dramatic. Are you still coming?"

"Mm, but I should really finish this article. Go on without me."

"If you're sure...do you want me to bring anything back?"

Albus thought for a moment. "Those strawberries Ms. Beaker sells. Please? Strawberries and cream sounds so good right now."

"Brilliant, I'm on it." Scorpius did a mock salute.

"Have fun." Al waved as Scorpius appatered, leaving the kitchen empty. Albus went straight to work on his article.

~•~

The market was lively and merry, despite the early hour. Scorpius had stopped by the strawberry stand first, in case he forgot.

Ever since they had moved two years ago, Scorpius had found himself drawn to the quaint farmer's market. Not because of the delicious, fresh food, but to socialize. He made quite a few friends with the muggles who lived around there...mostly old ladies. The early days of their marriage, Albus would join him. Before life got in the way, and work had to be done.

Not that he wasn't busy himself. He only had two days off as a Healer, sometimes less. He didn't know how they would manage childcare, but like Al had said, it was best not to dwell on the future.

"Scorpius? Is that you?"

He turned around, following the voice from behind him. "Polly ...Chapman?" He uttered blandly, praying he wasn't mistaken. He didn't have the best memory- even with old schoolmates who bullied him.

"Yep." Polly said, laughing lightly. "It's me. Been a while."

"It has." Scorpius shifted his weight. "How are things?"

"Great!" She smiled, swishing her blonde ponytail, the same air of confidence from when she was a teenager. "Yann and I are engaged."

"Oh! That's wonderful." Scorpius said, pretending to sound pleased. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you. I proposed to them last month. It was just as I had dreamed."

"How is...Yann?" Scorpius did not actually care how Yann was.

"They're good! Brilliant actually, since they passed Auror training." Polly looked genuinely proud of them, which he had to admit was adorable. "Are you and Albus still..."

"Yes, yes. We um, er- we've been married almost two years actually." He added.

"Aw, that's very sweet. You two were always very close, yeah?" Polly looked at him, and Scorpius nearly walked backwards, intimidated by her stance. She still was extremely scary, like a lioness but with a great sense of fashion. "I know...Yann, Karl and I weren't the best to you two but perhaps we could..." She trailed off. "I'd like you both to come. To the wedding. If you'd like."

That...wasn't what he was expecting. He half expected her to invite him to another Blood Ball.

"Pardon?" Scorpius asked, dumbfounded. "I mean- yeah, that sounds great! Fun! Yes. That sounds nice. I'll bring it up to Al."

Polly was glowing. "Brill! I've got to go, but we should all hang out sometime. Like old times."

Like old times? Scorpius thought. When did they ever hang out?

Nodding mutely, he walked away from Polly with a puzzled, but cheerful expression. He hadn't completely fucked up the conversation, which was always a plus. It still felt odd that Polly Chapman of all people was talking to him, let alone inviting him to her wedding. It was bizarre.

He passed the final vendor, and was surprised and amused to see a tiny girl, no more than seven standing behind it. She had a Brownie uniform on, bright rosy cheeks and pigtails included.

"Would you like a biscuit?" She squealed.

It had taken him a moment to respond, he was still thinking of Polly being kind to him "Oh erm- of course." It was impossible to say no to an adorable small child. He reached for some muggle money, handing her the pound notes. "Just the one box please."

"Okie dokie!" She said, handing him the box. She waited a moment, pouting. "Go on, try it." She urged.

"I really shouldn't I-"

"Please?" The little girl gave him the most pitiful expression. "It's for a good cause, mister. We're helping orphaned puppies find homes."

"Well, alright. For the puppies." He fumbled open the box, taking a polite bite out of the cookie. It was a classic lemon cookie with powdered sugar, one of his favorites. But the second he swallowed, he felt dizzy all of a sudden. "What..." He stumbled back. "Oh my," He gulped, the entire market swirling around him. Something wasn’t right. "is there something in..." 

He would be damned if he let this happen without some sort of fight. Throwing his basket aside, he collapsed, slipping into unconsciousness.

"We've got him."

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Emma Watson has stalkers and a bodyguard

Posted on March 23 2014

From dailymail.co.uk March 2014, "Harry Potter star Emma Watson has hired a former NYPD officer as  a bodyguard to protect her from obsessed stalkers. The actress – thought to be worth £23  million – is believed to be paying the female officer £90,000 a year after a number of incidents of threatening behaviour towards her. The latest came as Emma, 23, right, was working on her new movie Noah, when an over-zealous ‘fan’ duped studio security staff and got on to the set. Emma, was left screaming, believing she was in danger, and filming had to stop. The British actress, who played Hermione Granger in the Potter films, is now constantly shadowed by blonde former New York Police Department officer Denise Morrone. A source said: ‘The  one person Emma is never without is Denise. 'Emma has had problems with stalkers in the past and, because of her wealth, there is always the threat of kidnap. 'She pays for her bodyguard out of her own pocket and Denise accompanies her everywhere, even when Emma is out for dinner. Denise is always there, making sure she is safe.’ Another source said: ‘Denise is on high alert for one particular stalker who tracked Emma down on the set of her latest film. ‘She is very discreet and very good at her job. She is always there looking after Emma, but you wouldn’t know. ‘She makes sure Emma has plenty of space and freedom. If they are at dinner, Denise is part of the gathering, but is always on duty.’ The new arrangement marks a departure for Emma, who has seemed determined to try to live a low-key, normal private life unencumbered by a security detail. Post-Potter she went to Brown University in Rhode Island, New England, and Worcester College, Oxford, to study for a degree. When she has appeared in public she has had no visible entourage. A spokesman for Miss Watson, who has homes in  London and New York, declined to comment." ^That's what the dailymail says but here below is what Emma said at the time.

From fansshare.com October 2012, "There was a lot of fuss made recently about the fact that a man who has been stalking Emma Watson managed to get onto her set before being chased off into the woods. It was claimed that Emma was terrified by the incident and feared for her safety.  However, it appears that the claims were not true, as Emma has spoken out about the “incident” stating that nothing of the sort happened. Emma felt that she needed to let everybody know what’s what and hoped to clear up any confusion about the stalker situation. Watson took to her official Twitter account to say, “Ok. Few things to clear up. I was not terrified by a stalker in the woods. And he was not fought off by martial arts experts.#whowrotethisstory”. I don't get this DM article because Emma has had this bodyguard for ten years. I think this might be a great big dose of media sensationalism or maybe a planted story so everyone will go, "Aww poor Emma" because she has said some really dumb things lately. I've seen photos of Denise (the older blonde lady we always see her with) with Emma as far back as 2005 Here they are outside the Regis and Kelly show (USA) in 2005 and to the right currently in 2014

^She still looks 15 doesn't she? I've seen one or two candids of Denise with Emma at Brown. I've read an article from a Brown website (thank anonymous for tipping me off) where they were talking about her bodyguards on campus that followed her around. Here's Emma, some guy and Denise at Brown in the fall of 2010 (I can't find the others)

Here she is talking about stalkers in her GQ interview from last year From gq-magazine.co.uk May 2013, "Did you have stalkers? 'Yes. I do have people who show up from time to time in different parts of the world. I've never really known how to respond; I've never really known if I should be afraid or not. This is how I put it into perspective: thousands of women all over the world have to deal with feeling afraid when they walk home from the Tube, on their way to work, when they go out for a drink. Feeling not safe isn't something that is singular to me or my experience as a woman, and I don't think any of these people mean me any harm. They just tend to be people caught up, who don't really realise what they are doing, and I think it is very important that I don't allow it to isolate me further, to be another reason why I shouldn't go out and meet people or walk down the street. Weird guys sometimes take it too far, and that is it. I just keep a friend with me. I don't have a full-time security guard or anything like that. Even at university I went everywhere completely alone, which looking back was probably a pretty ambitious thing that I tried to do there, but somehow I got away with it. There were times when I did feel stressed and anxious and could probably have done with a bit more support. At the same time I would rather make my own mistakes and learn what I need. I think it is so easy when you get famous to just disengage from having a life and that can make some things really dangerous.'" Remember she told rookie magazine she used to lie about walking to places but had a car waiting for her? She was trying to make it seem she has this normal life. I reckon this could be another little white lie about not having a full-time guard because we've seen Denise with her for years. She's the woman that pushes people away and pulls her from signing autographs and even refuses people. How about other instances like Glastonbury where that big muscular man tailed her everywhere. At airports when Denise is not there she has men which looks to be bodyguards to me. When she went to the Box Night Club she had a bodyguard. They're rare shots because most candids are just of Emma and Denise or Emma and a friend or boyfriend. You really think Emma travels alone? For example

Last photo from 2011: Check this out and seethe altercation You rarely catch her bodyguards photographed other than Denise who looks more than just a bodyguard. I think she's more like a bodyguard/assistant. I bet they are always around but you wouldn't know it. I'd go as far as saying they probably follow her from a distance to make it seem like she's really by herself. Here's something she said in 2009 and it was really stupid From wonderwall.msn.com July 2009 (interview with Dan, Rupert and Emma. she started brown in Sept 09) In this film, Ron has sort of a stalker girlfriend. Has it ever gotten strange where you're dating people who are more interested in dating Harry, Ron or Hermione rather than yourselves? Emma Watson: "I'm dating my stalker, actually." It's dumb to even give a stalker the time or day in a magazine discussing them. It will probably embolden them by fueling whatever twisted fantasies they have in their head. If it were me I would not even mention it. In 2010 she said this From digitalspy.com November 2010, "Emma Watson has revealed that she and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint used to hide from their security guards. The actress admitted that she "hates" having bodyguards and prefers to deal with the attention she receives on her own. Watson explained: "I hate having bodyguards and when we were younger, Dan, Rupert and I used to try to hide from the people trying to keep an eye on us." The 20-year-old went on to say that she now feels comfortable traveling on public transport by herself. She added: "Now it's like, 'Really, I'm fine'. I take the train and the bus and, if I don't dress up too much, I'm usually fine. Occasionally people stop me but I'd rather deal with that than not go out at all. That'd be really tragic." In her most recent interview for Elle she said this From snitchseeker.com March 2014, “So while Radcliffe reportedly rarely leaves his house without a bodyguard, Watson memorably began her college career by moving into the freshman dorm-the very definition of exposed. She lopped off her hair, appeared in a student production of Chekhov. There were moment, she says, when she thought, “I don’t know if I can do this. Or if this is sensible anymore.” But she held firm, turning down high-profile work that would interfere with her studies. “I just don’t want a life where I can’t have a life, “she says. “And so I’ve been just unbelievably stubborn about it.” ^Peculiar and then this article comes out about her hired bodyguard. Could it have been Radcliffe's people saying, "Hey, wait a minute" and then ratted Emma out? That last quote, the newer one, is of course a total contradiction from what she said about Brown before. I don't know it's that's the truth or this is some rouse to plant the idea she was heckled out of college life. I don't know but one thing is for sure I don't believe most of what comes out of this girls mouth. I'm like those towns people that had it with the games of the little boy that cried wolf. As for the stalking it's the only thing I'll give her sympathy for. I think it would suck. If it's an over zealous stan or a weirdo I don't think it's cool. If you like or even dislike her there are still lines you should never cross and that includes invading her space. She's just one fake ass actress that lives in her own head that plays make believe and makes millions off it. Then of course she complains about it and manipulates the media and her fan base to cover up "the real Emma Watson". She's a prettily weaved illusion designed to trick you. There is no such thing as the perfect person and just because she is pretty it does not make her perfect girlfriend material. Stans and weirdos please understand this.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕