#i think abt 'my mother was a saint' every say

[gorillaxyz]

man

[hotgirlstiles]

Genuinely how do you think stiles would react if he found out he and Paige were very similar? Would he ask derek something like do you think of her when you look at me?....

oh god you have NO idea how much this ask makes me so fucking crazy. Im literally the patron saint of making stiles suffer and go crazy. HES MY LITTLE DOLL!!!!

anyways. i think. god. yall already know how much i LOVE and talk about how both derek and the sheriff lost their ultimate loved one and how stiles is the literal embodiment of those two loved ones. i go batshit crazy whenever i think abt (after claudia’s death) stiles just missing his mom and maybe trying on her clothes in secret and her perfume and everything about her and it being one of the reasons why the sheriff (during his drunk eps) had absolutely. been so mean to him because that’s his wife and his son is the splitting image of her (physically and personality wise) and it just hurts

AND THEN YOU FACTOR IN PAIGE STILES AND ITS SO FUCKING. i genuinrly cannot even put it into enough words how much it makes me crazy. paige. jennifer. and how theyre both SO stiles. i just know stiles heart shattered when peter was telling that story and i KNOW stiles went on some research rampage on bh yearbooks and saw paige and just. this very devastating oh moment. immediately goes back and thinks abt every moment w derek and its like some slap to the face

i dont think stiles would outrigbt ask derek smthn like that but i feel like it would send stiles into a spiral similar to how or what happened w sheriff and claudia and i think thats such a painful cycle of just being this someone. the second choice almost—some kind of cheap copy of someone’s beloved because he was never really claudia nor was he really ever paige but sometimes does he try because he thinks thats all he is (some fake grade a copy of the original)

which probably makes it also insane because remember when the nogutsune split into two stile. sorry i dont even know how thats connected it just cane into my mind and now i had to say it

anyways im insane over this im genuinely always fucking thinking about stiles will always resemble derek and the sheriff’s lost loved ones and the implications of it to stiles, who has always been the underdog and has always received love in such thin barely there offhanded touches

ok apparently im not yet done cause i think When stiles found out abt paige canon-wise was like perfect since it was like that barely there conenction of sterek happening. oh my god if stiles found out abt paige during s3b itd be fuckkng DISASTER. imagine finding out you have frontotemporal dementia—essentially dying the same way your mother did, the EXACT same way your mother did right in front of your dad, aka he would experience his beloved’s death AGAIN—and then finding out your crush’s first fucking love literally has rhe same personality and looks as you. i would genuinely commit myself to eichen house at that point like i would never show my face to the sheriff and derek ever again

ok. on the topic of established sterek approaching that topic. i feel like it’d come randomly from stiles, like every topic does, and maybe on some quiet night just playing with derek’s fingers laying in bed and he’d just quietly ask “was paige pretty?” and derek would say some stupid shit like yeah you two looked very similar you two could be siblings which wohld set off stiles rockets and itd be castratophic basically. i dont even know how derek would fix the situation

[vampirejuno]

if you have the time and brainpower i would love to hear more abt ander ("ander"?) bc that's such a fun premise. idk if it's "fun" in the canon of the story per se but [insert eyes emoji bc i'm on desktop rn]

Hehehehehehe yesssss >:]

So! I refer to them as "og ander" and "ander" (or Mira, if talking about pre-transition) respectively. Story takes place in a pre-industrial but slightly post-medieval feudal country (unnamed for now lol). The twins are from an important noble family, but, while they're respected, they're not always treated as well as other noble kids because their mother is a non-white foreigner. Mira is a bit more visibly mixed than her brother, but otherwise they look almost identical (despite my art skills).

Now, their mother comes from a matrilineal society where women raise their daughters and leave the sons to the fathers, so she raises Mira according to her customs, and og Ander is raised by their father to be a Good Son and Heir. But the twins are still very close, and every once in a while escape for a day out in nature, usually to the river.

It's kind of implied that they were both trans from the start as they liked to switch clothes as little kids and could pass for each other, until their father caught them doing it. Og Ander later on thinks of it as their souls getting mixed up before they were born. It's a bit easier for Mira at the start because her mother's culture involves martial arts and hunting, something that helps Mira feel more masculine in her father's society. Og Ander however, well..... He saw masculinity as a performance and a duty he had to keep up, until one day when they're about 12 it just wears him out and he can't keep doing it anymore.

So naturally og Ander fakes his death by "drowning" in their river and runs off to be a witch. Mira fully believes he actually died. In their country, there's a folk/religious custom to honor the dead: when a loved one dies, you take on a responsibility over something that was important to that person in life. It can be as small as always feeding their favorite birds or as big as taking their child into your own care, which is where the name of this custom - "taking a ward" - comes from.

Anyways, Mira takes a ward for og Ander - to be a Good Son and Heir, as their father was left without one, until another boy is born to her parents. Mind, nobody outside of the family (except their childhood friend) knows it was og Ander who died cos they looked so similar, so with some effort Mira can pass for her brother well enough. Needles to say neither of her parents is happy about this, but as a religious custom it has to be honored.

So Mira becomes Ander and effectively loses his relationship with both mother and father - the first because he (gonna use he from here on) gave up being a woman and sons aren't important, and the second because his dad's a cunt who cares about Legacy and the Family Name, which isn't a very promising prospect if your heir is "secretly a girl" (and also extremely dyslexic! This will be important), and your Shitty Wife can't birth another son :/

So father sends Ander off to join a special military order dedicated to a specific saint, as is common for young noblemen (this particular one requires members to vow to never speak a lie, so Ander quickly learns to speak indirectly and twist literal truths to adhere to that vow while still keeping his secrets). In the meantime father gets rid of his wife (sends her away, pretends she disappeared and must've died). He then marries Ander's childhood friend (Rika, which btw means river in ukrainian if you put the stress on the other syllable :3). Ander hears about it and comes home.

This is where the important dyslexia comes in. Ander's dad told him he'd inherit everything once he can read out what's written on the family heirloom sword. Ander tried for years to learn, to no avail, and never even found out that the inscription was in a dead language that no one alive remembers. So anyway Ander takes the sword and runs his father through and then fucks off with Rika. Those two have such a weird thing going on but that's a whole separate post

Anyways that's my brief summary of his backstory hehe thank u very much for asking <333 I also have. A little prologue I wrote abt the day og Ander drowns. It's not long and I can post it if anyone wishes to read it 👀

[teekays]

For the ask thing … np 💗💗💗

NP... thank you i was hoping someone would ask this one i have a LOT to say. clocking in to my shift at the she/her-ing male professional athletes factory

First impression

first impression was Wow Pretty but also i was not a flyers appreciator at the time so i was like well. okay. whatever. it was right around the time of the vegas trade and i was doubly not a vegas appreciator so even tho she was sooo gorg i wasn't super invested. also at one point between like getting into hockey and getting into tknp i made a joke tweet abt how we need an nhl player who listens to car seat headrest and one of my mutuals was like "we already have that it's nolan patrick" and that was like... a flame held to my soul. the interest really sparked there

Impression now

my best friend. my beaft. i think she is wildly misunderstood by a lot of people but the people who Get It really and truly get it... she's a princess she's just some guy she's a bitch she's a lover she's a child she's a mother she's a sinner she's a saint. i love it when girls are kind of mean and love to lie and get embarrassed over the tiniest things like having normal human emotions and they actually care so much despite trying really hard to look like they don't care <3 i love that she's very like... very guarded and reserved (or attempts to be) but also sometimes you catch moments of her like not being able to help her reactions. betrayed by your own fond smiles and blushy cheeks!!! i also think she is much sillier than we give her credit for and that is underutilized. locker room dance you will always be famous

Favorite moment

aforementioned locker room dance... "dove original. it's ladies"/"it's not ladies. but it is dove original.".... all of her old tweets especially "now THATS a sandwich people".... "don't ask about my rosy cheeks".... also signing nico's name at the draft. are you gay or something

Idea for a story

it's a cop out to say vip room so i will say i have a silly little draft going about computer repair secretary tk and Watching Gay Porn About His Sexuality Crisis nolpat that is making me giggle alyssa edwards style as i write it

Unpopular opinion

SHE IS FINEEE SHES NOT SAD SHES NOT CRYING HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT we need to put an end to the nolan patrick sadposting industrial complex. she is living her life. she's hanging out w friends. and the trade was actually a good thing! philly was kind of a terrible place for him to be w all his injuries and stuff because their doctors were shit and there were a lot of issues w privacy and stuff and people just being kinda mean about him that imo was unproductive! a fresh start is a good thing! even if it means you have to leave your weird little soulmate haven't you guys ever heard of phone sex. also yeah estrogen would fix her

Favorite relationship

i am obviously a tknp diehard til i die like absolutely perfect vibes. my exact type of pairing i always fall for. that being said the nico nolan dynamic was sooo good to me she was really out there blushing and giggling in front of god and everyone trying to get a good grade in Making A Cute Boy Laugh. and she DID!

Favorite headcanon

i know he lies about not enjoying a fruity little cocktail. i know it in my heart. get the lychee martini nolan it's FINE

[nerendus]

tell us a lil abt ur ocs <3

On it, boss!

I don't know what fandoms little anonling is a part of, but I'm going to use that as an excuse to talk about all of them.

However probably the girlies that I am most obsessed with I can't talk about since they are part of, like, professional projects and I very much do not want this account to be associated with that in any way. But I can say that pretty much all of them are either morally dubious medical practitioners or just really, really sad cyborgs.

I'll start with my D&D characters since those girls are just, so good and tasty.

There's Zia....something. She had a very long name and an even longer italian surname.

She is a Drow multiclassing with wizard and monk, and everything terrible that could happen to her happened to her. The...condensed version is that she had a chronic disease that was quickly killing her, and a god traded her death with her twin brother's soul so she got a get out of jail free card. And during the whole campaign which sadly ended prematurely, her whole entire quest was trying to approach her brother and explain that she is implicit in the murder that has yet to happen. Great lady. She had emotional issues and I spun a wheel at the beginning of each session to see how mentally disturbed she would be.

My other D&D character never got to see action (one day...maybe) and that is my beautiful lass Andlyn. She's a tiefling warlock with a minor degree in Bard. Her whole thing was that she was born into a cult worshiping a devil that forced her hand into killing her fiance. As such, she began her Rebellion Arc and begun killing cultists and she was therefore kicked out of the club :( But luckily for her, the devil she had worshiped didn't like all the attention the cult was giving him, so he turned her into his warlock under the pretense that she would seek out the cultists and kill them. She also liked singing at taverns.

And my last D&D character...is my first one. My lovely half elf blood domain cleric Atheleisia (not sure if that's how its actually spelt, I forgot its been so long). I love her so much, she is so over the top. She is a cult leader that liked to abduct children and make herself their mother while she experimented on their bodies. Specifically, she had this delusion that they were all riddled with sins, and as such, she had to craft them into monsters to remove the sin within them. She was also in love with her god that was a dragon that she deluded herself into thinking they were engaged when I don't think he ever even knew her name. She was great, I definitely need to bring her back in some other project.

So...now on to, like, fandom OCs, feel free to skim around to your own little fandoms.

Given that it's my current obsession, I'll start with my beloved Rogue Trader Alwena von Valancius (not to be confused with my other OC, Alwena EldenRing). Her whole thing in detail in on the RT discord server and that's too many words to copy and paste here, so condensed, she is an Iconoclast pyromancer that forged her sanctioning with the help of her cousin Mianno (not to be confused with Mianno EldenRing, look I use the same characters for every game ever) who she was slightly in love with. Her unsanctioning ended up making her thoroughly fucked up, and after the events of the game, she turned herself into something of a war saint and declared war across the other dynasties that refused her rule. She eventually is assassinated by her son due to her last few years of life barely able to register reality.

For Bloodborne, I have my little girlie Magdalene. She's a Vileblood knight that deserted her post during the Cainhurst massacre and didn't return until the events of the game. There...isn't much to it after that. She had a lesbian thing going on with Fake Iosefka and Amygdalas around the Unseen Village because she has superior taste over us all.

I have a few for the Elder Scrolls, one being my dark elf Nerevarine Arcanea. I don't remember much of her lore since it's been awhile since I played Morrowind, but she was a petty criminal in the Imperial City who came to Vvardenfell and immediately began several different polycules. She probably was really big in the Greater Vivec City Polycule. Despite what Azura wanted from her, she started relationships with both Dagoth Ur and Almalexia but don't worry! She does kill them in the end, just because Azura asked really nicely. IDK, she probably had the hots for Hiricine as well, but I don't think that would've ever worked out.

I have...a lot of dark elf OCs in TES, they're my favourite race, but I do have one Nord OC that I am greatly obsessed with. She's Vahkulass--draconic for Spring Princess--a dragon priestess that escaped the fate of her fellows and lived a life of seclusion in Skyrim while awaiting the return of her lord Alduin. Specifically, she married a dragon priest, and when a rivaling priest killed him, she took his place and declared war on everyone who had tried at some point in overthrowing their rule. But after all that, she stopped being a warlord and just lived a silly life as the weirdo lady in the mountains that didn't seem to age. However, she also worshiped Akatosh, and when she was made Dragonborn, despite her sadness, she did not hesitate in fulfilling her destiny in killing the World Eater. She probably fucked Odahving in the process, but that's something else.

And uh...I think that's it? Yeah probably, my Tarnished OCs have absolutely, no lore. They are just pretty women.

But yeah, thanks king. 🫡 I am not proofreading any of this because this is way too many words.

[yusukenui]

really, i cant blame wwx for thinking that lwj hated him all up until his death with the way that he is

[idvmercenary-remaking]

this whole month is just going 2 be a game of how bad can me and my mother's relationship get before i move out

[saintobio]

i always love the way you write, it really shows how much effort you put in your writing. and to add i also like the way you base it on reality and research about it. the way your fiction shows so much emotions that it also effects the reader, truly means that your work is outstanding. and the longer it takes you to upload a new fiction to your blog shows how much effort you put into it. i hope you rest well because you deserve it! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و - 🦭

Anonymous said

heyyy, how you're doing?! I'm new here and I need to tell you that I'm OBSSESSED with your work — your histories are SOOOO ADDICTIVE, you've got an amazing way with the words, like, really, I'm complettely astounished by the way you just put everything together with such tell those amazing stories, making me feel every single thing, it's just— I'm literally out of words. I'm so thankfuk that I found your work, it brings me literal JOY to read everything you write,,,,,,, although I end up crying..... several times...... (but I love it, somehow, don't worry). Sooo, I wanted to ask you something, and I don't know if you've ever recieved an question like this before: how would things go if Gojo wasn't in a relationship with Sera? He'd fall for Y/N? Would things workout?

(Also, sorry if ponctuation and grammar feel kinda off, english is not my first language and, sometimes, it's still a struggle for me!!! :D)

Love your work BYEEEE

Anonymous said

please, your writings are sooo out of this world 😭

I remember preparing my heart and sanity to read "wastelands" after a few months before binge reading it (that time the series was still ongoing), I'm already in pain just by looking at the summary and I'm in absolute pain

Currently reading "underground fight club" hoho, your series are *chef's kiss*

Now, I'm preparing myself again to binge read the "sincerely not" series :') THANK YOU FOR the pain YOUR SERVICE! You're such a great writer!

@atsumusoup said

Hiiiii I just wanna say I love sincerely not so much it broke my heart but in a good yet unsettling yet amazing way 😭 thanks so much for all your hard work and although I don’t interact as much anymore watching your blog grow from remember forever to now it’s insane! I binge read the last four chapters of after my midterms and cried so harddddd

Your work literally sends me on rollercoasters and I get so excited to read them 🤩 can’t wait to see what u have I store next! Take care b! 💜

Anonymous said

Saint can I just tell you how much i love your series n the small details that you have put in? Because of you i realized that i have a birkins bag (it was given to me by my mother's boss 😫) and even so your story gave me motivation to learn more abt the business industry? Even the fashion industry also because that's how impactful your story is to me 😂 its funny because when you read sn you're not only reading you're learning too! so i admire your efforts in learning more abt this assigned field or topic even though you have had a hard time in this fic because everything came out well in the end and your dedication for this fic is unlike any others you're an author i aspire to be thank you very much love!! ❤❤

@captainchrisstan said

Saint, great chapter! Im so happy that i was in this adventure with you! What a rollercoaster! ❤️😭😭😭 cant wait 🥰

Anonymous said

me already crying b4 reading:

Saint, thank you for being such a genious and writing this masterpiece.

When I stumbled upon this fanfiction, I was crying and feeling like shit, thinking abt su*cide. I started to read thinking it would be one of those stories that s/n would be like those fragile FL, but I was wrong. Your main character was so original, never expected such a complex personality and how it's similar to reality, where people are like shades of grade, never only white or black.

I was so interested in this story that it became my motivation to continue living because it was one of the only things that would make my day. Your fanfiction saved me.

Thank you,

- ♤

i love love looove every single one of u !! thank you for loving sn and for looking forward to sy <33 all the happiness and pain we’ve shared bc of this series made me feel so connected with u guys aaaaa 🥺 i’m genuinely so grateful for the support and have been reading these messages for the past few weeks. i’m sorry it took me awhile to get back to all of u !!

[atlascas]

DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier. 

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good. 

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written 

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more. 

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end. 

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute 

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me. 

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

[dolphin-enthusiast]

ahhhh!! good evening my darling~!! it's nice to be back 💘✨🌹 as always i hope you are well my dear, and thank you all for being so kind and understanding!! (as much as i hate missing days, my days don't end as brightly if i can't check in 😅) (1/9?)

"i appreciate it so much, it means a lot to me,, i'm absolutely thrilled to know that i'm able to brighten your days up, to the point of them being dull when i'm absent, amore that means the world to me! it's my main goal after all 💖 i should probably address that previous situation that quinn brought up, no? she's a saint for notifying you all about this, since the last thing i want is to appear as though i disappear suddenly 😖 (2/9)

but about 15 minutes later, she showed up in a car with one of my other friends in the back! she ushered me in as my other friend climbed out,, he punched one of them actually?? next thing i knew we were speeding off!! i'm still in shock about the whole affair since we don't even have our driver's learning permits yet,, it was something out of a movie, i swear!! (4/9)

ah, it was such a scary experience, and i sadly fell ill the next day,, it was miserable, but luckily the sickness has past and i feel good! 💫 i must say, everyone's asks helped get me through the night of the the incident and my sick day, it kept me entertained and smiling, that's for sure!! and, morgy dear, your writings?? they helped cheer me up a lot!! ❤ (5/9)

speaking of writing, i am in awe of that vegas au writing,, oh mio dio... it amazes me how talented you all are!! i loved everything about it, especially the intense part where you won the roulette game morgy! ahhh, and it seems that anon really did do their research!! (6/9)

it's actually a dream of mine to visit the Bellagio! maybe you can even come with me caro~ 😘 in all seriousness, thank you all so much for all of your creative efforts, it shocks me that people truly want to spend their time creating such amazing things related to us!! 🌺 (7/9)

and to the anon who said i remind them of the girl from ipanema,, you have no idea how happy i was to hear that!! it's one of my all time favorite songs! i actually learned it when i was little, because my dad would actually sing it to me every now and then,, it truly does bring back good memories!! 💕 today wasn't as interesting as the other two, all i did was bake some tarts and play a little bit of minecraft,, (8/9)

i put on gloves to nake sure i didn't get my scent on it, so the mother can find him easier!! the cutest part was that he nuzzled my hand before i set him down,, che bello~!! 🌻 oh mie stelle,, it is quite late for me now! i can't wait to check in tomorrow 💞 until then, goodnight love!! rest well for me! - lots and lots of love, your waifu xoxo 💌💋 ps: honestly, i like to think that you are my lucky charm morgy,, after all you do manage to make my daily life sweeter! 💗 (9/9)"

Im glad to see ur better and that u have returned darling 👁️👀 what happened really does sound like it came straight outta an action movie (still surprised at how intense and unpredictable ur life is compared to mine lol) and trust me i would have finna punched that fucker who messed w u if i were there iS thIs gUy bOtHerIng u qUeEn-

On another note i myself adored that gambling au thing and as i said it gave me major kakegurui vibes and i love it djdjs also can we talk abt that killer one liner "dont come to work tomorrow" like i hate how i'd acc say smth as cryptical as that🤡🤡🤡 anons really do b having overwhelming amounts of talent and dedication n g l

And even if ur day was kinda dull (thats the daily grind for me tbh🗿) dw bc just v i b i n g is enough sometimes yknow? I too didn't do much last day and just marathoned haykiuu again after trying to bake some cringe ass fail cookies dhxhxh i hated how i didnt really do anything productive but nowadays im trying to find balance between fandoms since jojo isnt the only thing i gave a shot at writing for👁️

ANywAYs i have some wacky luck dear i wouldnt say im a lucky charm, quite the opposite acc ehdjdj but say...what if we went to las vegas then got our gambling freak on together haha jk unless🤔🤔🤔😳😳😳😳

[badlesmisimaginesofficial]

rules: answer twenty-one questions and tag twenty-one people. I don’t think there are twenty one people who can stand me but I may as well bother @lyncoris @stargirl4n6 @pilferingapples @theteaisaddictive @jehnt @lenezdansleruisseau @bisexual-at-the-barricade - no pressure to do this ofc if you don’t wanna/can’t be bothered!

tagged by: @wild-oats-and-cornflowers​ thank u!! 

nicknames: occasionally things to do with the tower of babel. on here, badimagines. 

zodiac: aries.

height: about 5′7

hogwarts house: slytherin

last thing i googled: “hobbycraft” (am buying more sock yarn)

fave musicians: fluctuates a lot so let’s just say a lot of musical theatre with a bit of 13 y/o emo kid thrown in (aka I haven’t really grown out of Green Day)

song stuck in your head: Good Thing Going from Merrily We Roll Along

following: way too many people

followers: they yell at me every five minutes but i absolutely deserve it

do you get asks: yes when people have cursed thoughts and the person who asked for the valjean/jesus/god thing i’m sorry!! it’s coming soon (just like valjean)

amount of sleep: depends on my work schedule but ideally abt 9 hours

lucky number: i don’t have one but i like four

what are you wearing: green trousers that were my mum’s and a work t shirt

dream job: novelist (and/or full-time badimagine writer)

instruments: i can play the opening bars of Old MacDonald Had A Farm on a piano and that is it 

languages: English, aside from a les pommes sont rouges level of duolingo french

favorite songs: i only recently accepted ABBA into my life and thus only now realise how much Does Your Mother Know slaps

random fact: i read this earlier on someone else’s blog but apparently one of the documented insurgents on the Saint Merry barricade has the same name as a font that les mis has been printed in ??? 

aesthetic: swinging wildly between gay english professor and basicTM bitch

[semercury]

anyway here’s my headcanons. don’t @ me. welcome to my seminar.

bruno - okay. so like i said in the tags. i think he’s the only one who would like. actually go to church on a semi-regular basis. he was raised Catholic and while he didn’t always get to church as a child, it was a priority. obvi when he joined the mafia that kinda got pushed to the back burner. he still believes everything and feels a little guilty for being lukewarm, but he prays that he and his team will be okay in the end.

abbacchio - was raised Catholic by his family and went to church every sunday as a kid. after Tragic Backstory, he stopped going to church and is angry at God. angry for allowing him to live, angry for not saving people he cared about... just. angry. sometimes he’ll still go into empty cathedrals when half drunk and angrily pray at God. sometimes a priest will come and offer him confession. “i know you are hurting, my son, but maybe confessing your sins and feeling The Father’s forgiveness would ease your soul.” abbacchio scoffs and stands up, saying, “what good is God’s forgiveness if i can’t even forgive myself?” before walking out.

mista - another one who went to church semi-regularly as a kid. he doesn’t go now bc he’s too busy and stuff, but he still believes everything, but it’s less from a “i genuinely love God and believe in this stuff” and more from a superstition point of view. he views religion as just another superstition he has. i feel like he would wear a scapular and various medals from saints to protect him though, again, putting faith in superstition instead of what they actually stand for.

narancia - knows he’s Catholic but that’s it. maybe went to church once or twice as a child. literally a “hey mom, what religion are we again?” only.... he probably never asked his actual mom. he just knows that’s the box he checks on school forms (when he goes to school).

fugo - another who sporadically went to church as a child. his family were Easter-Christmas Catholics and never really talked about it otherwise. i could see him having an aspect of “Catholic guilt” am i projecting? oh probably so it’s just another thing that makes him hate himself and fear himself. he could probably have interesting conversations with abbacchio about being angry at God for being allowed to exist, but i doubt he ever really would.

giorno - mei beat me too it, but yeah, i was going to say he’s the only member of the bucci gang who isn’t technically Catholic. his mother wasn’t, and dio certainly wasn’t (not that dio was ever in his life), and mr. giovanna probably was, but was def only one on paper. i like to think he’d be more agnostic than atheist though. he’s open to the idea of a God, but just hasn’t been given a reason to believe. but i liked what she said about how it was gang members who helped him when he was in trouble, not God, so even if God does exist, why should he trust Him? mei blease write that giorno and abba religion discussion i will pay you five american dollars.

trish - *cries bc it’s been 23 episodes and i still hardly know her personality* i know very little about her or her backstory yet, but from what teeny tiny info i do know abt her mom, i really doubt she would have taken her daughter to church. i feel like she’s another “just on paper” one. like narancia. but who knows!! maybe my hc will change as i get to know her!!!

[bewareofthorns]

❝ Hearts starve as well as bodies. Give us bread, but give us roses. ❞ 

SARAH JEFFREY? No, that’s actually ROSE GRANGER-WEASLEY. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this GRYFFINDOR student is sided with MCGONAGALL’S ARMY. SHE identifies as CISGENDER FEMALE and is a HALF-BLOOD who is known to be COMPETITIVE, STUBBORN, and CRITICAL but also RESILIENT, CAREFUL, and COMPASSIONATE. { A, 19, EST, SHE/HER }

MY INTRO

You know your place.  

All your life you’ve been what other people have wanted. From the beginning, your parents needed you to be the perfect daughter, and so you became one. Years later, when your brother needed you to be a perfect sister, you took that on as well.

You didn’t really know it meant then. Back then, the ribbons in your hair and the perfectly-pleated skirts were fun. As your mother straightened your hair and made sure you were the picture-perfect daughter she had only ever known you to be, you thought it would always be this easy to make everyone happy.  

But since then, the demands have only multiplied. At Hogwarts, your teachers expected you to be as smart as your mother, as brave as your father. Your friends expected even more. You were meant to be the life of the party, the head of the class, a role model, a rule breaker— a dizzying swirl of paradoxical things that you could barely keep straight.

You were meant to be everyone’s dream girl.  

And, for better or worse, you’ve made sure you were.

Maybe it was the fact that you never wanted to back down from a challenge. Maybe you just hated to disappoint. But when they came asking for Good Rose, for Smart Rose, for Kind Rose, for Perfect Rose, you gave them what they wanted. You let them take the part of you that they wanted most.

Of course, that ribbon in your hair seems a little childish now. There’s a war on, after all. And, though you’ve spent your whole life trying to solve everyone’s problems, this one seems a little out-of-your-reach, so to speak.

But maybe that’s the thing- you’ve known your place from the beginning. You are Rose Weasley. And that means, you’ll be anything they need you to be. You’ll be the reinforcements, the recruiter. You’ll be the shoulder-to-cry-on, the soldier, the spy, the saint. You’ll be a martyr even— if they ask.

It’s okay.

For other people, sometimes, decisions are hard to make. For other people, it would be normal to be afraid. But you’re Rose Weasley – and that means you’re perfect.

Even if you’re not.

- 

rose is… hella competitive, hella pushy, hella intimidating.

but also she’s hella compassionate, hella kind and hella !! a mess ! even if she doesn’t look like it at first glance. 

FIRST OFF, you don’t need to ask. her OWLs were phenomenal. when she got her results back, her dad promptly framed them in the kitchen— and he (still!) will talk about them to anyone who asks.

thankfully, she doesn’t really talk about that. 

it’s a point of shame—to be honest. how much she had to study for them. how gaunt she looked after the exams were over, the way she cried in the girl’s bathroom for hours after her last one. studying never came as easy for her as it did her mother, so it seemed. and there was so much pressure to do well– to do better. and so-  she did. but at what cost. 

former president of the debate club, former prefect 

look, one of these she couldn’t carry out because she got a promotion. and the other, she resigned in disgrace. she’s head girl now. so figure that one out. 

did she get into a HUGE argument with another member of the debate club????? hmmm maybe u know… snatch this plot up boiisss

current president of s.p.e.w., HEAD GIRL!!, member of the dueling club, also taking way too many classes at the NEWT level  

probably gives your character too many detentions

very!! very !! family-oriented. to the point where, when she originally went to hogwarts, she had trouble making friends and just breaking out of that bubble. 

now that’s she’s here and established herself— she’s been known to tell off her family members in public and loudly. unfortunately, she’s also been known to shoot a few curses on anyone who gets on the wrong side of them.

hugo? her entire world? her wittle baby brother? she literally asks someone about him every single day, bc what if ! something is going on with him ! that he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to big sis about !

according to most anyone, is literally perfect. 

probably takes notes with like seventeen highlighters and a speciality quill and has perfect handwriting. used to let anyone borrow her notes, but ever since the Permanent Ink Spill (Never Let ___ Borrow Your Notes Without A Copy)Incident  of 2021– there’s a cover charge for a look. 

at the same time though, like– she stopped liking strawberry-flavoured bertie bott’s beans in second year because of the Accidental Nausea Charm And Proof Of Aversive Conditioning’s Effectiveness Incident and hasn’t gotten the courage to tell anyone that it’s no longer her favorite, bc of the whole scared of letting people down thing. A MESS.

have people in her family literally… picked out… every single strawberry or (vaguely pinkish) bean and given it to her before. has she just smiled at them and pretended to enjoy it. 

you might notice that everything in Rose Weasley’s life that is eventful becomes An Incident. 

1. she does remember all of them. 2. they do all have names like the ANCAPOACE and the  PIS(NL_BYNWAC) that she refers to them by in her diary. 

b a r e l y talks to people who disagree with her ideology. imo– this makes her prime target to be swayed to opposing factions but U DIDN’T HEAR THAT HERE. 

kinda lowkey NAIVE AS HECK. literally tell her, u like her for her… for one second and she’ll melt. like. not saying u should, but like. she’s spent all of her time living for everyone else. convince her to be her own person while really ??? convincing her to do things for you?? gross. ew.aka i love angst and im ashamed. 

also tell her she’s doing something wrong. omg like she turns completely flustered, incapable of responding. embarrassed? angry? she’ll try and curse you when she comes to, but she’s going to be so mortified. 

always wears the charm bracelet that was given to her at birth. magicked to expand to always fit her wrist. she changes the charms that dangle off of it every so often and has amassed quite a collection of charms.

her favorite charm is the lightning bolt that she got in remembrance of harry. harry was her favorite uncle. she misses him a lot. not that she talks about that. 

least favorite charm is the one that’s been on it since she got it– its broken and charmed and yet, someone put a permanent sticking charm on it. she’s tried to get it removed a couple of times, to no avail. 

??? is this… a mystery… i’m dying… to… try n plot out… what!! no ;)))))

was adopted. believes that doesn’t really matter. doesn’t know her biological family. i don’t think anyone outside of ron and hermione knows that. anyone alive, anyways. sometimes-- things are more than they seem. would love to do a plot abt this. y’know. 

[dawgsprite]

tell me about saint i know nothing and i want to hear all of it

SAINT!!!!!!!!!

okay, okay, lemme. lemme do this. saint is the boy i made when a friend of mine was like “you should make a sunshine boy oc” and i was like hey! yeah! thats a good idea! because i tend to only make, like, fucking... edgy punk shits. jason, akira, a, lizabel... god. almost every single one was edgy in some way, so i was like? yeah! sure! i’ll make a good boy!

and now i have saint miles. he goes by miles, since his first name is ridiculous and has bad ties to his childhood past, and he’s an angel. both in personality and in his quirk because YES hes a bnha oc i am UNSTOPPABLE and gay. his quirk is, like i said, angel? he’s got a quirk that basically allows him to do a ton of shit that a theoretical angel can (if you wanna get specific, it’s seraph, not just general angel). one of my faves with his quirk is that he can generate like, six? eight wings? and fly. he’s a very good boy with a lot of strong abilities-- most of which he doesn’t know abt because he’s a little dumb and also doesn’t want to use his quirk.

he’s a sweetheart, too!!!!! saint isn’t really good with like, personal bonds? it takes a little bit of determination to really become one of his close friends, but he’s a big gentle giant with everyone else. always tries to help and be nice and do what he can for other people, reaches out when he thinks someone is down, heals people when he can w/ his quirk, etc. he’s a big soft nice boy who would maybe give you a hug if there was no other way out of it.

his childhood was? bad! it was bad. his mother made him the center of a cult until he was like. eleven years old? and traumatized the hell out of him? the dude had a fuckin tonsure haircut until his mother kinda burned herself + their hometown in an attempt to keep the government from taking him away and putting him with his father (who left because like. saint’s mother was a cultist and there wasn’t anything he could do about it). he was raised in scotland until he was like, fifteen, and then either moved to japan or america-- or just stayed at the family ranch and took it over after his father retires. this is a very shortened version of saint’s backstory but lemme just say, shit’s fucked up.

he also! doesn’t like anything that looks remotely demonic, or religion. and he also doesn’t like to be touched by people he’s not friends with. just some tidbits. he also has a horse at his family ranch in scotland, named sugar, and he LOVES her. her name is sugar. their ranch’s main export is sheep. i love saint so much.

[hamphobicbasil]

Thoughts on Byakuya!

me, in tears: finally,

i am so sorry this took like, 3 days to write. i wanted to get my point across on how i exactly feel about this character in general

TD;LR: byakuya togami isnt a perfect saint, and probably will never be, but i find him to be an interesting character to analyze, and his character development should be appreciated a bit more than it seems to be.

and uh, its not like, perfect in captialization and stuff but look its late and i dont really mind rn

i remember my first thoughts on him when i played the first game were really negative. admittedly, i hated him when i played the game two years ago, hell my friend told me that apparently i even said something along the lines of “ew rich boy” 

but after kinda dropping danganronpa then coming back around and re-analyzing it all? i find byakuya to be one of my favorite characters. and it’s mostly because of his logical, analytical, and generally intelligent personality. that and the development he went through, but that’s for later.

personally, i can’t stand characters who are constantly letting their emotion���s guide their actions. i understand that character’s at time are going to have a weak moment that allows their emotions to judge the situation, that’s understandable and a good way to develop a character! but for all the time? i find it kinda annoying. not to say i hate those type of characters, i just dont really care for them i guess. whereas, obviously, byakuya is the opposite. he’s very logical during trials and investigations and mostly a big help to naegi along the way, whether or not he would allow himself to be considered a “helping person” in any sense but thats not the point right now. hell, during the 5th trial when hagakure had his “KYOKO’S A FUCKING G H O S T” moment i was practically banging my head into the table as byakuya was just “????? how are you this stupid?? how did you pass grade preschool??” (i know those arent the exact words or anything but i exaggerate for humor. even tho that probably didnt come off as humorous but anyways) and during other trials as well, he’s very blunt when it comes to conclusions and honestly? that’s needed in the situation they were all in. 

now yeah, that blunt sense of logic does backfire, main example being the 4th trial. but its the fact that every other situation that needed it, he provided it. and dont worry, im not forgetting kyoko’s logic in those situations, i appreciate her as well but it’s byakuya time. this goes the same for makoto, although he can have his moments of allowing his emotions to take his judgement’s control, it works for him in the end as development and that’s just who he is. 

the fact that he is logical and can keep his composure in most stressful situations is a big factor on what i appreciate about his character. although you could argue that this can make a character “weak” in the way it makes them seem less human, but for byakuya i think it works, especially keeping in mind his history and how that’s affected him. 

now i also wanna talk abt his history real quick: because i’ll be honest i enjoy diving into his situation and trying to figure out how exactly that affected him in the long run. 

so there’s the obvious factors: he was (probably forced) into a competition against his 14 other siblings, (whether or not he actually had an attachment to them before hand is up to you, but i personally like to think that he may have not exactly liked the idea of fighting his siblings to keep his title, but hey, thats just me, and i really read too much into things that dont need it) and he came out on top, which resulted in him gaining his superiority complex. but i like considering the tolls that took on him as an emotional result. because come on, byakuya hasn’t always been the emotionally withdrawn person we see him to be, i dont think that would be, in a realistic sense, humanly possible. 

i like really considering his background and how it all shaped him. i commonly wonder a lot of things regarding his family, seeing as its a major part of him. did he have to leave his mother to participate in the fight for his family name? did he even know his mother at all, or because of the way the togami family works, has he never known the concept of having a motherly figure in his life? did he know his siblings well before having to fight them in the competition, if so, how do you think he would have felt on initially exiling them from the family because he won? sure, its possible that he never knew his other siblings, which just made his success easier, but i have no clue on such things so, ya know. 

but that’s enough on his history and background. i could go on for hours about all the ways it could have affected him and his current mindset, but thats for another day. >:3c maybe idk tho

then there’s all the growth he’s gone through. tbh if he would have stayed the same as he was back in the first game i would probably hate him, but its also because of all the character development he’s went through that really makes me appreciate him. sure, in comparison to other characters its not a lot, but its the fact that he has changed from that snarky, lying, bastard from the first game into a less snarky, lying, bastard that he is now that really makes me like his character. 

i love the fact that by the end of the first game, he’s learn to appreciate the people around him and the relationships he has with them, i love how he grows and allows himself to care for these people by ultra despair girls and such. 

the fact that he was developed and grew up is what really makes me like him, that he’s grown to have what could be considered a protective sense over these people he went through something hellish with. 

and sure, he’s not a saint, i’m aware of that. i know that he could be a lot nicer than he is now, but in the long run and comparison to how he started, i’d say its a considerable leap. and dont worry, im not going to excuse his actions in the first game, or just his mistakes in general. ignoring all of that and even going as far to try and excuse it kinda just?? doesnt feel right if that makes sense. 

he’s a cruel dark hero, and that should be acknowledged when it comes to his character, but that isnt to say to ignore the growth he’s gone through.

anyways, im gonna end it here because this took me several days to put together and 2 rewrites to finish. i am so sorry anon, you probably wanted a super short answer with something like “yeah he’s cool i guess” and you got an essay. i am so sorry. 

[fenharelxenansal]

ooc;;

so i went back into my discord history to dig up some meta i wrote a while back about briala. alice, nixe, mo, merc, and cay have all already read this, but i feel like a lot of it is really important to my characterization and i want it on my blog. maybe someday i’ll format it to read in a less disjointed, chat-style way, but for now -- have 1600+ words about briala’s backstory, i guess?

cw: lots of emotional abuse and gaslighting, lots of character death

im having a mood abt the tactics celene might have used to keep briala on her side when they were fighting and aaugh

bc i think a lot about the scene at the beginning of TME where bria is getting sexually harassed by a palace guard and the fact that nobody in that scene, briala included, acts like its anything particularly abnormal. that worries me

i mean. celene killed her damn parents. i dont think encouraging a guard to harass briala from time to time to make herself look like a saint in comparison is beyond her

and i have this mental image of briala being hurt in some way, nothing serious, a bruise here or there from someone other than celene, deliberately caused to send her running back to the empress who will make it all better

to give briala someone to hate instead of celene

to give celene the opportunity to 'make it up' to her

because i dont believe for a second that celene, grand player of the Game that she is, wouldn't stoop that low

she would do anything in her power to keep briala

because she is too dangerous, she knows too much

my headcanon is that when celene tried to send her away to live with the Dalish, it wasn't for her own protection

it was to keep her from ever realizing the truth of what happened the night her parents died, because it could destabilize celene's grip on power

and when Briala came back, well, she had to come up with another plan. and she cared for Briala enough that she didn't want to just kill her. so she made her into an intensely loyal asset

so i think any time Briala started to turn on her, started to want to leave her service even a little, she would do something to make herself look like the good guy again

the thing i always think about

Briala was supposed to be killed that night along with her parents

it wasn't 'all the servants except briala' it was 'all the servants'. the fact that she survived was pure luck, and the fact that celene didn't just have her killed after that point was because. well. Celene was a 16 year old lesbian about to ascend the throne of one of the most powerful countries in Thedas. One might imagine her a bit lonely.

im pretty sure she knew sending briala away was sending her to likely bandits or death by starvation

but she didn't have to feel so personally responsible for that

its easy to kill a palace full of servants whose names you dont know

theyre just numbers on a piece of parchment saying how many bodies you have to clean up

briala made herself real to celene and that makes her harder to kill

because she could have just killed her right then herself

but celene never had the stomach for killing people herself. she just gives the orders.

and so when faced with that situation, with her personal handmaiden traumatized, crying, covered in her parents' blood saying 'they're all dead', the smart thing to do would have been to kill her. but celene didn't do that. she just sent her away to near-certain death instead.

Briala is incredibly dangerous to Celene

especially post-TME, post realization of exactly how Celene orchestrated her rise to power

she is the only one who knows that Celene's claim on the throne is truly illegitimate, no matter how much Gaspard tries to argue it

not only did she have her own palace servants murdered

she had the emperor assassinated

which i think everyone misses?

she had him assassinated and then staged the murder of her palace servants to paint herself as an innocent victim who just happened to not be there that night

thats why all the palace servants were killed

so that suspicion would not fall on her for Florian's murder

the point was to make it look like the same assassins who went after her uncle were also going after her

when in reality she was the one calling the shots all along

i did briefly toy with writing a verse where Briala never met Felassan, where she made it to the Dalish safe at 14 years old and tried to become one of them

but the fact is that the moment he sent her back to Celene was a defining moment for her, something that fundamentally changed her, and she wouldn't have been anywhere near the same person without that

it told her, right there and right then, subtextually and insidiously, that the cause was the most important thing, more than her safety - because she knew it was dangerous being anywhere near the Empress-to-be, she wasn't stupid. she didn't even really know what the cause was at that point; he never told her what he got out of their meetings. so the cause to her became helping elves. and then that really quickly became warped to helping celene because she convinced her that it was the best way to serve the cause.

"what would have been different if she'd decided what she wanted to fight for on her own?"

she would have been a lot less.....not less dedicated, but less 'dedicated to the detriment of her own wellbeing'

if she had decided herself not to go to the Dalish, to stay by Celene's side to enact change, rather than just following the orders of other people, her story would be very different

concept: briala actually processing her trauma??? what???

bc you know the moment she got back to the palace with Celene after meeting Fel for the first time she threw herself headfirst into the Game

she focused all of her energy on intelligence-gathering and supporting Celene in her bid to become Empress

She never gave herself a single moment to grieve

and it isn't an uncommon story in Thedas, an elf watching someone or multiple someones they love cut down by humans

imagine if u will: briala, trying to have a funeral, not just for her parents, but for all of them

thats the thing i really feel the need to

idk

it wasn't just her parents

briala grew up in the palace. her parents were both palace servants.

she knew every single one of those servants. they were her friends and her family. and at the end of it she was left standing covered in blood in front of celene. celene was all she had left.

she didn't have any friends at the beginning of TME. she was friendly with the cook, but that was it.

celene took a generally happy, driven, and incredibly smart 14-year old elven girl and took away everyone she had ever known except herself. she made herself briala's world.

that's the real reason i hate that you can reunite them. its not that i don't believe they could be reunited - its that they can. because briala doesn't have anyone else. she has celene and felassan. that's it.

when you only have one person, its easy to make excuses for them and justify the things theyve done. its easy to believe them when they apologize and promise to do better.

thats why i want briala to have friends and lovers and people

i want to have a verse where she has grown so far beyond that point that she would laugh if Celene asked her to return to the palace

i want her to stop loving Celene but she isn't there yet

in my current writing, at least

she is still vulnerable to her in every verse where Celene is still alive

i just imagine her like

talking quietly about her childhood best friend among the servants

we don't get to see much of Briala's childhood

we get the moment of her mother telling her she mustn't try to hide her ears and that she must be proud of being an elf. that's really it.

but we do know that there were other children of servants who were considered for Celene's handmaiden aside Briala

i like to think she was friends with these other children. that she wasn't always lonely from the start

but of course that leads down the road of those friends being slaughtered as well so its a tradeoff

and then there's the question of whether when Celene kissed her when she was sending her away, if that was her first kiss, if she ever even had the chance to love someone else

i think a lot about how Briala spent 20 years learning how to love exactly 1 person the way she wanted to be loved

just imagining her trying to have a romantic relationship with someone else with that framework still in place is painful. it wouldn't work no matter how much she wanted it to because she'd be treating them like celene. she has no other model for how a relationship can work

she bypasses that somewhat with Lana, but its still there, thinking that the best thing to do is the thing that Keeps Lana Safe

she wouldn't recognize abuse if she got into another bad relationship

and she doesn't know how a relationship works where she isn't centering the other person's needs over her own

she gave up everything she ever wanted or aspired to for Celene

one time i got a prompt from a lyric starter list i made

'you can still be what you want to'

and briala just. broke for a moment.

'no. i can't. i never could - none of us ever could. thats why we fight.'

she doesn't have interests or hobbies or friends or a life

celene was her life and now she's filled that void with her cause