#but really thank u for indulging me i love talking abt this guy

[vampirejuno]

if you have the time and brainpower i would love to hear more abt ander ("ander"?) bc that's such a fun premise. idk if it's "fun" in the canon of the story per se but [insert eyes emoji bc i'm on desktop rn]

Hehehehehehe yesssss >:]

So! I refer to them as "og ander" and "ander" (or Mira, if talking about pre-transition) respectively. Story takes place in a pre-industrial but slightly post-medieval feudal country (unnamed for now lol). The twins are from an important noble family, but, while they're respected, they're not always treated as well as other noble kids because their mother is a non-white foreigner. Mira is a bit more visibly mixed than her brother, but otherwise they look almost identical (despite my art skills).

Now, their mother comes from a matrilineal society where women raise their daughters and leave the sons to the fathers, so she raises Mira according to her customs, and og Ander is raised by their father to be a Good Son and Heir. But the twins are still very close, and every once in a while escape for a day out in nature, usually to the river.

It's kind of implied that they were both trans from the start as they liked to switch clothes as little kids and could pass for each other, until their father caught them doing it. Og Ander later on thinks of it as their souls getting mixed up before they were born. It's a bit easier for Mira at the start because her mother's culture involves martial arts and hunting, something that helps Mira feel more masculine in her father's society. Og Ander however, well..... He saw masculinity as a performance and a duty he had to keep up, until one day when they're about 12 it just wears him out and he can't keep doing it anymore.

So naturally og Ander fakes his death by "drowning" in their river and runs off to be a witch. Mira fully believes he actually died. In their country, there's a folk/religious custom to honor the dead: when a loved one dies, you take on a responsibility over something that was important to that person in life. It can be as small as always feeding their favorite birds or as big as taking their child into your own care, which is where the name of this custom - "taking a ward" - comes from.

Anyways, Mira takes a ward for og Ander - to be a Good Son and Heir, as their father was left without one, until another boy is born to her parents. Mind, nobody outside of the family (except their childhood friend) knows it was og Ander who died cos they looked so similar, so with some effort Mira can pass for her brother well enough. Needles to say neither of her parents is happy about this, but as a religious custom it has to be honored.

So Mira becomes Ander and effectively loses his relationship with both mother and father - the first because he (gonna use he from here on) gave up being a woman and sons aren't important, and the second because his dad's a cunt who cares about Legacy and the Family Name, which isn't a very promising prospect if your heir is "secretly a girl" (and also extremely dyslexic! This will be important), and your Shitty Wife can't birth another son :/

So father sends Ander off to join a special military order dedicated to a specific saint, as is common for young noblemen (this particular one requires members to vow to never speak a lie, so Ander quickly learns to speak indirectly and twist literal truths to adhere to that vow while still keeping his secrets). In the meantime father gets rid of his wife (sends her away, pretends she disappeared and must've died). He then marries Ander's childhood friend (Rika, which btw means river in ukrainian if you put the stress on the other syllable :3). Ander hears about it and comes home.

This is where the important dyslexia comes in. Ander's dad told him he'd inherit everything once he can read out what's written on the family heirloom sword. Ander tried for years to learn, to no avail, and never even found out that the inscription was in a dead language that no one alive remembers. So anyway Ander takes the sword and runs his father through and then fucks off with Rika. Those two have such a weird thing going on but that's a whole separate post

Anyways that's my brief summary of his backstory hehe thank u very much for asking <333 I also have. A little prologue I wrote abt the day og Ander drowns. It's not long and I can post it if anyone wishes to read it 👀

[aihaitahm]

BLADE IS THE ONLY THING ON MY MIND RN CAN U PLS DO MODERN AU BLADE ON A LATE NIGHT MOTORCYCLE RIDE WITH READER I WOULD ACRUALLY DIE

modern au! various with gn! reader

my anons love blade 🙏ples dont die 😿 but i do not blame you at all i also want to add other chars in it too hope u dont mind anon<3

characters: blade, kafka, alhaitham

cw: suggestive. also im not really a tech person im sorry if i dont kno much abt motorcycles😭

biker! blade

you knew your boyfriend rode motorcycles and are a fan of it. you often bought him equipment during special occassions and he appreciates you for that. you found it really hot whenever he wore his gear and how majestic he looks whenever he removes his helmet, revealing his pretty face. you guys may or may not have done it on his motorbike.

he would try to convince you to ride with him. if youre scared he’d try to calm you down and drive in short distances. he loves the feeling of your fingers hugging his waist and feeling your warmth against him.

if you knew how to ride motorcycles, he would be very impressed and have fun with you. wouldnt be able to stop staring as you remove your helmet from your cute face. you suggested to match equipment and helmets but he was like “thats cringy” as he was picking matching equipment in the store with his cheeks going bright red.

hungry? need a snack or two? well thats when you usually both go out on late nights. its very peaceful and enjoys these rides with you more than anything else in the world. or when he wants to bring you to see the beautiful view of the city for your late night dates, this is a common occurence.

“what snack should we buy? something on your mind bladie?”

“you.”

“s-stop being cheesy. the light went green and focus on the road.”

model! kafka

you are her biggest fan. her only biggest fan!!!! you always go to her runway shows and you support her so much. she enjoys seeing you in the crowd and would maybe wink at you if she had the chance.

loves the privacy between you both. kafka can get easily burnt out if she has to be out for too long and paparazzi always up her ass. she recharges with you and she finds peace in you. would just lay in bed with you all day.

whenever she gets interviews, she always has the habit to mention you and to thank you. she really loves you afterall so you deserve it. she also goes pink when she talks about you and it is very noticeable on tv.

“ah my (name) always supports me and i love them the most.~ you should support them too!”

you are her personal photographer and she loves how you picture her. whether it was a serious picture or funny cute picture of her, she notices how you have multiple background themes just of her. she would return the favor too yk! would model you lingerie in private.

loves to dress you up or put makeup on you. would sit on your lap as she does your eyeshadow properly would kiss you on the nose if you stay still<3

would invite you to go on trips with her and would pay for you if needed. she is your /sugar mommy girlfriend after all and she would buy anything for you. or if you cant go, the type to bring you gifts home.

gamer! alhaitham

sorry… very self indulgent but he would play videogames to pass time or if they have interesting plots or characters. the type to hyperanalyze and make theories about the plots and be absolutely reasonable with them.

since he is known to always have headphones on, he usually would just play videogame music. LOL what a nerdy feeble scholar but anyway, he likes to listen to those while reading sometimes.

the type to play shirtless all the time. he notices you stare and would let you stare. he would tease you a lot too.

“you see something you like?”

“use your words.”

he doesnt rage but he does cuss under his breath and just groan. hes naturally good at everything so why cant he do this puzzle? he would ask for your help because sometimes, he misses on small details focusing only on the obvious ones.

loves when you watch him play or when you play together. he likes spending time with you even if you can be bad at games. he has an excuse to teach you. the type to put his hands over yours when hes trying to demonstrate something to you. (this is so hot i actually squealed >_<)

wouldnt neglect you if you ask him for attention! would pause the game and kiss you then resume. likes to place you on his lap and rest his chin on your head or shoulder while he is playing.

has a schedule with his books, studies/work, gaming and of course you. he does go out when his friends ask him though he’d rather bring you along because he misses you easily.

[hanlimz]

JUNGWONSPIDERMANAU

cass. pls dont say that and just. LEAVE. expand. i would like to hear your thoughts 🎤

bc truly spider-man/peter parker was my first love and personally i have had the idea for a jake as spider-man au for quiet a bit now but it has never really taken off but now i NEED to hear all your thoughts.

(also if u have any good spider-man au fic recs pls send them my way thnx 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩)

PLSSS I COULD TALK FOREVER!!!! BUT OKAY—here are some bullet points plus a small blurb/summary/idk? i literally am going to write so much im so SORRY??? (this has convinced me n i will be writing a fic LMAOO)

(+ two vvvv good spiderman fic recs!!)

it’s safe here (with me) by @enhypenandpaper !! | very cute story, well-written, i love when writers can put their own unique spin on scenes that inspire them it’s rly motivating and wonderful (i need to rb this on my fic rec blog asap) (jake x reader)

i’ll save you (again) by @jayflrt !! | amazing stupendous wonderful show-stopping ,, literally one of my Favorite reads on this app .. this author manages to encapsulate both spiderman And jake sosososo well .. they also make it a point to rly flesh out the other friendships mentioned and I Love That (jake x reader)

general hcs (?):

won is the dorkiest spiderman ever .. stutters over his quips, never has anything cool to say to the villains he fights, doesn’t know how to respond to ppl thanking him

one time someone he saved tried to ask for his number and he panicked and said he was banned from both t-mobile and verizon (he’s not btw)?? 

another time he just got done saving a group of ppl n said “no thneeds necessary” ?? bc he was trying to say “no need to thank me” n “no thanks necessary” at the same time

but he’s also the sweetest .. any time someone asks to “repay him” he’s a double it n give it to the next person kinda guy .. he always tells them to stop by the soup kitchen or donate old clothes to thrift stores or just be kind to someone else

also ,, on another note ,, won has the Biggest crush on u and knows u like to help out at the local preschool, so he always tells ppl to buy and donate extra school supplies

sometimes when he’s out patrolling late at night, he’ll see u on ur way home from the library n quietly follow u to make sure u get home safe

tries to talk to u once after seeing a spiderman article open on ur computer and u indulge him for a moment, saying how bad u felt abt the daily bugle’s tabloid pieces .. won’s p sure his heart exploded

but overall, he’s very gentle and kind .. ever the king of duality tho .. he can beat a bitch up when need be, but most of the time—won’s just a high school senior trying to get into MIT and make the person he’s been in love with since the beginning of fall semester feel the same way abt him

ANYWAYS in a high school!au setting i see a lot of ppl like to hc jungwon as class/stuco president, but i think he’s definitely more on the quiet side .. he’s popular, yes, but not too popular if that makes sense. for him, though, this is perfect ... he flies under the radar, and him missing school a couple days in a row every month or so goes virtually unnoticed. HOWEVER, you’ve always had a sneaking suspicion .. it’s not like you and won are Rivals—there would be no merit in picking an unnecessary fight with the boy who volunteers at the soup kitchen on the weekends and feeds the stray cats near the gym and asks the lunch ladies how their days are going—but, there’s something strange going on. you’re sure of it.

jungwon comes into school one day w a busted lip and a black eye. everyone is fawning over him, asking him what happened—did he get mugged, did his face hurt, did he give the other person a run for their money? you don’t bother checking in on him when he takes his seat next to you. you just hand him his calculus test (he did better than you again n it’s infuriating) and clench your jaw, willing yourself to disappear. that familiar, green monster hangs in the shadows behind you, and its breath fans across your neck as it attempts to coax a physical manifestation of jealously from your lips. eventually, you excuse yourself to the nurse’s office and skip the rest of the day.

later that night, you’re trying to study in your room, but you keep getting distracted by the daily bugle’s twitter updates. spiderman is out and about again, and they won’t let the poor guy’s good reputation rest. it’s all “spiderman fights villain and knocks over streetlight onto local man’s car” and “spiderman forgoes saving lady’s churro to destroy half of grand central station”—and, honestly, you feel a bit bad. he’s trying his best. but, as rain patters against your window, the sound threatens to lull you to sleep. exhaustion overtakes your body, your eyes are drooping, and your head keeps falling from your hands. and then BOOM—the loudest noise you’ve ever heard startles you from your fatigue-induced trance. with a look of fear in your eyes, you glance over your shoulder to look at the window and the sight that greets you is enough to freeze every molecule in your body.

the aforementioned hero is clinging to the side of your building, banging his fist on the glass and practically begging to be let in. his movements are frantic and a bit scary. you open the window as quick as you can and let him slide through the small gap you’ve created. there are copious tears in his suit, blood flows from a nasty gash on his shoulder. rushing around on some crude form of auto pilot, you grab a clean shirt from your closet and press it into his wound. you tell him to hold it there and instruct him to sit in your desk chair. he's sopping wet from head to toe, and all you manage to think about is how glad you are that your parents are away for the weekend.

eventually, after only almost vomiting once, the cut is clean and bandaged up. "you're so lucky that i've been trying to get rid of this shirt forever, mr. spiderman," you scoff as he perches on the sill of your window, preparing to swing away into the night. "if i had grabbed one of my favorite outfits, i would've killed you before that wound could have."

a giggle escapes from his lips, and for a moment, you find yourself taken aback. he sounds like a high schooler—young, lively, and everything but the twenty-something year old man you thought he would be. "sorry about that ... i'll have to swing by and drop off some laundry detergent one of these days," he laughs. his voice sounds so familiar, but your mind is still reeling from your recent discovery. the hero offers you a wave and gestures toward his previous seat. "sleep well—and, good luck on that calculus homework."

the next day at school, jungwon is nowhere to be seen. you thank whatever happens to reside in the sky that he can't see the bright red 67 at the top of your most recent calculus test. the next next day, however, jungwon comes in with his arm in a sling. as his seatmate, you're the one that has to help him out for the rest of the week. but, when you're sitting in free period, you happen to take another glance at the bandages around his shoulder as jungwon naps next to you. a sharp column of ice pierces through your lower abdomen; under jungwon's sling, the lowest layer of bandages are covered with dried blood and sweat.

they look eerily familiar. almost like the ones you used to patch spiderman up over the weekend.

but, jungwon couldn't be spiderman. he couldn't be—he's too sweet, too gentle, too kind. peeking over at his backpack, you note that it seems a bit bulkier today; a recognizable purple cap winks at you from the unzipped main pocket. a chill tickles the length of your spine as you register what happened to be resting against his class notebooks.

laundry detergent?

you pause for a moment.

oh.

oh god.

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Zhongli headcanons

HI HELLO I'M BACK-- i finished my h/c list ages ago but then brainrot took over and i was caught between mini fic writing and schoolwork lmfao. anyway, zhongli's my precious lil mans and i must SCREAM abt him for a moment thank u.

current list: - FLUENT in the art of yapping. could weave a story abt a blade of grass, and y'all know bitches are listening. - i feel like most ppl are kinda intimidated by him. like regular average ppl look at him and are shaken by this sort of regal air he's got around him. - straightforward! he doesn't beat around the bush when he's got a point or needs something. this kinda thing also makes ppl more intimidated of him bc he's just very confident abt it. - WARM HANDS,,, - he gives me the vibes of a fidgeter. like he spins his rings on his thumbs, and will fiddle with the sleeves of his coat. like it's just a habit he picked up, and now he can't help but do it when his mind is wandering. - ON THE TOPIC OF FIDGETING: Guizhong's puzzle box. Zhongli's usually pretty good abt figuring things out when he's confronted w/ something confounding/confusing, but when he can't figure it out or it's a very hard thing to work through, i am CONVINCED that he fiddles with Guizhong's puzzle box. like it's sort of like him trying to solve her final question helps him solve the current Difficult Question he's faced with. absolutely probably fiddled w/ it when he was deciding what to do abt retirement. - this man LOVES antiques and art/music (he likes a lot of things tbh) and he will do anything to talk abt them. like he's probably one of the best antique appraisers, and has stories abt specific antiques he's seen before. as for opera and music and art, he just really appreciates their creativity! also sorry he would absolutely indulge in the art of calligraphy. - he hoards rocks. listen, he hoards them. he loves rocks, and when he finds a Perfect Rock, he just yoinks it (Perfect Rocks are hard to come by yk!!!). - he's usually very sweet and nice, and has a good attitude, but i'm PRETTY sure he's got a bit of pride to him yk. - listen,,, he was in a really long war and lost a lot of ppl he cared abt in the Archon War, and i'm like pretty sure he's got battle anxiety now bc of it. like he would MUCH prefer talking things out, but if push comes to shove he will still fight; he just tends to push himself to the front so that less people get hurt. he just REALLY wants to protect people, which makes him a little self-sacrificial (he's usually fine). he's also fucking PROTECTIVE as FUCK. - Zhongli has gold blood. not red blood, gold; i think this makes him more nervous around red blood bc it means to him that someone is hurt and he wasn't able to protect them. it's equated with Really Bad Things. - back to sad things, i'm 90% sure he's afraid of forgetting things due to erosion. he's always had a good memory, so the idea that he might one day have his memories eroded is one of his greatest fears. - i feel like all of his worries and concerns have turned him from a stern War God to a very gentle mans that will make u soup when ur sick. - Zhongli and Venti are the best of friends and he would deck that guy so hard if someone asked him to. Literally besties for the resties, they hate each other but someone fucks with one of em, the other's got his back. - Zhongli talks pretty, so ya know he's got That Sass that hits different. Like it's out of left field, and it probably doesn't register as a slight at first. sometimes it takes u a good hour before u realize he wasn't complimenting u and instead was calling u an idiot. - the definition of "curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back". literally exudes pure curiosity when he sees something he hasn't seen before. - he adores little gifts,,, like these small gestures would Never Be Noticed by anyone, except him, and he just thinks it's so fuckin sweet. - secretly a prankster. you Would Not Expect It from him, but that's what makes it so perfect. he's the PATIENT type of prankster, too; the one who moves the flower vase a cenimeter to the left every day over the course of a month type of patient.

HERE'S THE LIST, LOVE THIS MAN SO FUCKIN MUCH YALL plEASE,,, he's my pretty mans and i just foam at the mouth over him i s w e a r.

Up next is Neuvi, bc i love him, and then i'll be delving into the Very Specific Niche Ship i obsess over which is them as a poly.

[no1sharkenthusaist]

! hsr headcannons for several characters ! [modern au]

♪ In-ter-net-o ya-me-ro ♪!

Y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o n l i n e !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Characters : Dan Heng, Serval, Blade, Gepard, March

Plot : no real plot, just headcannons about honkai Characters in a modern au setting

Tags : modern au, headcannons, fluff, slight crack, wrote this at 11pm while heading home from a road trip

authors note : omg got a steam deck for my birthday (may 30th) and I. AM. IN. LOVE !!! I could talk abt it for hours and hours but i have my discord for that ehe. Anyways, ive been having fun rediscovering my old childhood games and thats when i had an epiphany. Hsr or genshin boys in a ddlc type scenario!!! Feeling so swag abt the idea. Also i got out of school so more uploads yaya. Thank u all for the support on my intro page yippee. I promise not to let you all down

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ enjoy !

DANHENG

Now playing : Scrawny - The Wallows

He definitely dresses like with collared shirts and kinda has that accidental soft boy look

English major frfr

definitely listens to lovejoy/wilbursoot and bo burnham

Water drinker enthusiast (even tho he forgets to drink half the time-)

burnt out gifted kid

messed up sleeping schedules

Hes that quiet guy everyone has a crush on to some extent

He looks cold and serious during lectures, but hes actually just daydreaming and has his head in the clouds

Probably stays with the same group of kids he met in middle school because he cant socialize

I think said kids would be march, stelle/caleus, himeko And on ocasion blade, kafka, and silverwolf

Welt would be a chill english teacher that would let Dan Heng sit in his classroom during lunch

he likes going to concerts a lot

Learned to play guitar in middle school but doesnt like playing in front of people

Consider yourself lucky if he plays in front of you

Extremely oblivious to romance

Girls will try to flirt with him but he will just have a blank and confused look

Spends his free time in book stores shopping for records

Ps5 gamer frfr

Theater kid (had a hamilton phase)

SERVAL

Now playing : Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

Shut me up by mindless self indulgence on loop

Like its probably to an unhealthy level

Always has headphones in(that gepard gave her for her birthday)(And so loud to the point you can hear the music standing next to her)

(went deaf at the ripe age of 13, after that it was all "huh?" /j)

Shirts from old bands, baggy jeans, fishnets, etc

Had an alt phase

Bad habit of smashing guitars

Dropped out of college after first semester

Had a band in highschool with Blade and Dan Heng that received noise complaints on a regular Basis

Really extroverted and easy to get along with

Loves going to concerts (especially the ones that get crazy like halfway through )

Probably gets in fights during black friday

Addicted to coffee (gepards needs to step in and help her drink something else)

Likes bitter stuff more than sweet stuff

Cares very deeply for her friends

The type of gal to go on road trips with friends and go Camping

Goes to protests every other tuesday

Probably banned from several places

very passionate about things she loves

Loves scary movies and Rollercoasters

The six flags employees have memorized her name

(shes just so cool i wanna be like her fr)

BLADE

Now playing : Consequences - Lovejoy

Theater kid (would never admit it tho)

Kafka teases him about it so much

met kafka and silverwolf in detention

The teachers hate the three of them

Alt kid and never got out of his emo phase

Besties with serval, change my mind

Kafka probably pushed him to join boxing to get his anger out in a less…destructive way

Loves the sleepovers he has with kafka and silverwolf

Broke silverwolf's tv while playing wii sports

Goes to college, no clue what he wants to do so hes just doing liberal studies

Adopted a small stray cat he saw on the ground during a storm

he tries to be tough and mean, but hes a big Softy

Loves the Beetlejuice musical(and mean girls but we dont talk about that)

has probably been on probation on multiple occasions

Probably vandalized the car of someone he didnt like

Kafka has to sweet talk everyone out of getting blade in serious trouble

Hes really good at basketball, he just doesnt like it so he never pushed it further

Doesnt really like or understands sports

probably listens to videogame osts 24/7

GEPARD

Now Playing : Pretty Face - PUBLIC

Getting serval out of trouble isnt a choice, its a lifestyle

Which is ironic, as he is a criminal justice major

But he still will always be her biggest supporter

Dresses (like a costco dad) soft boy by pure accident

Completely oblivious to anything and everything

Enjoys gardening and has a lemon Tree

Cave Town enthusiast

Lemonade Enthusiast

Sends people those "reminder to drink water and be happy" messages

Straight 4.0 GPA student. The teachers loved Him

Was really shy so he didnt have many friends growing up (Serval had to help him out)

Hates rollercoasters, serval drags him around six flags and he screams his head off

Poor guy :<

Still loves it since he loves hanging out with his sister

Student council secretary

No clue how the internet and technology works

Strong sense of justice

That has gotten him involved in several issues

Which ironically, serval got him out of

Wholesome cinnamon roll, pls protecc

MARCH 7TH

Now playing : Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY

That one girl in class that no one could hate

Class representative and student council public relations officer

Photography major (duh)

Social butterfly and very easy to talk to

Want to go out to go eat something sweet while having fun? March has you covered !

March Makes friendship braclets and sells them so she can go shopping

has a secret stash of candy hidden in her dorm

March has a babysitting gig and comes to peoples houses with candy

Shes a little kid magnet, they all love her so much

had a club penguin phase with Dan Heng and they both shudder just thinking about it

learned all her profanity from watching Dan Heng play Call Of Duty

sucks at english, fries her brain like a hashbrown

k-pop girlie

dresses really cute with cardigans and pastel pinks

(watched aphmau, Her favorite one was a mermaid tales and mystreet) [submitted by someone on my discord who wants to stay anon]

plays overwatch and says things like "Hey, thats not nice!"

lowkey kind of a teachers pet-

Loves webtoons and collects the physical releases

! Thats a wrap !

! Join my discord HERE !

! Likes, reblogs, comments are greatly appreciated !

and thank you for reading ^^

♪ Overdose 君とふたり やるせない日々♪

! y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o f f l i n e !

t h a n k y o u f o r c o m i n g ~

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle ninaaaa since u talked abt please please please by miss sab carpenter as ravesey ( i love this idea im obsessed btw like if u ever write a para on them doing this mv i would eat it up and i already eat up everything u write !! ) , do you think ravenstan would do a diff style for the song or keep it essentially the same as her vers ? and would the mv elements & settings change at all ?

OKAY!!! SO LISTEN!!! LISTEN!!!!

LIIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEEENNNN!!!!! aAaaAAAAAAAA~

i thought i was bein too self-indulgent and INSANE when i made that headstannon because i have been listening to please please please nonstop for Days, so i am stoked you understand the VISION!!!!

like it is just soooo...*sTARTS FERAL GIRL SCREAMING*

you Know i LOVE a little music video moment!!! ;)

( also Thank You for what you said about enjoying all the silly little things i write — it really means The World to me <3 ;-; ) and bc i am criminally and batshit Insane, i have an entire concept, thought about ALL the corresponding music video outfits and i gave cd doing the song a little ~Lore~ bc i need everything that i do to be extremely thorough and have basis in my weird little rm auniverse.

so...beneath the cut is literally nothing that anyone needs to read necessarily — plus, i get the feeling i am going to be long winded and scream a lot — so there is no obligation ( as with anything i write or create ) to read this, but should ye dare; i thought i was going aWHFF.

...you Do, however, need to know about the music video/song to understand pretty much anything i am talking about/referencing or else it will sound like complete *sab carpenter vc* Nonsense, so i am going to link the plsplspls mv riiiiight HERE. it...is a work of Art. and i am so sorry you cannot tell me that is not Them like....OKAY.

*breathes aggressively into a paper bag*

it's insane feral girl mv time ( w/ plot & a lil twisty-twist )

EDIT: NO, WAIT, ACTUALLY, IT'S REAAAALLY LONG.

HO-LY FUCCC.

i just checked and this ask meme is literally...3,772 words. not of fine literature or nina prose, btw. of me. it’s all just lowercase…Screaming. with links. like i literally added…Links. SO UNLESS YOU HAVE AN HOUR ON YOUR HANDS OR REALLY WANT 3K WORDS OF PROOF THAT I DESPERATELY NEED TO RECIEVE A FKN CLAIRES LOBOTOMY, Please, Please, /Please/, don't read this, lmao.

but on the off chance that you do...

i hope you heal, smile pendejo,

and ofc, as always, now and forever...

please enjoy the very WORST part of your day.

-Evil Genius Uncle Nina <3

*cracks knuckles aka my writer girl carpal tunnel*

alright, so i am going to say that all of this takes place Post RM and marjorine actually plays a large part in it ;) xx ( ilysm marj )

because one of the things that i am the most bummed about regarding spoiling my fanfic/answering asks about it is that, in order to give you guys as much Ravesey!Style content as possible and because there is just SO much happening at all times, i don't really get to talk about the sideplots as much as i would like or fully unpack all the epic side-relationships in the rmverse.

and the lil ~second string romance~ that happens in rm...

Is Kenjorine <333

( AAAAAAAA I LOVE KENJORINE SO MUCH ) and throughout rm they've kind of had this slow burn Will They Won't They thing going on because, y'know, dating within the band is Strictly For-boden because it's messy and has the potential to cause looots of problems…

( scott having a crush on jimmy and jimmy vice versa was Soooo against the butterfly trampstamp boy band brotherhood code of ethics, but just this One time, i will support mens rights...and Wrongs )

however, my dear darlings, the Biggest hang-up regarding my kids not hooking up and instead settling down was that KENNY IS A MAJOR SLUTFACE HO-BAG ( also the LOML it's okay ) and the devil's lil boytoy plaything, which meant dating in that sense was also...

Strictly For-boden.

HOWEVER! post rm, it went from marj relentlessly pursuing kenny and following them around like a little love-sick puppy, to kenny being extremely HEADASS for marjorine and like begging her to their girlfriend...which marj, ofc, wants more than anything in the world...but she's trying to Protect Her PEACE! ( good for her )

because her and kenny had a lot of messy, fucked up moments in rm where she got hurt a lot by them, but she's also that one friend you have that IS CONSTANTLY dating losers...and i mean

/Constantly./

bc i'm sure it seems like bebe would be That Girl, but barbara angelica stevens does Not Date LOSERS, okay??? because she's a bad motherfucking bitch...but also because, in her line of work aka camming, she has to stay on the market/look available bc if people find out she's dating someone it'll fuck up her (s)income )

and marj....Sigh.

god bless her, is v sensitive, easily swindled and super vulnerable. that unfortunately makes her an easy target for *tlc vc* BUSTAS and dirtbag douchebag guys who demolish her heart and leave her crying on the couch with bebe, tweek, craig and kyle all holding her, handing her tissues n telling her she's gotta stop fuckin w/ losers.

( it is ironic for j.k...but he is a PROFESSIONAL HEAUX. )

ANYWAYS! kenny is trying to get marjorine to be their girlfriend and reform their womanizing, manizing, peoplizing ways, but marj keeps Rejecting Them because she's scared. and rightfully so, queen!

Protect! Your! PEACE! THIS PRIDE MONTH, MY LOVES!

but back to plsplspls and it's ~Immaculate Conception~:

and it...pains me to do this: miss sabrina carpenter, i am so sorry, babygirl, ilysm legend, but to make this actually Work in my fanfic universe, i am going to say that she either doesn't exist or didn't write the song because...

Marjorine Wrote It.

...Specifically About KENNY. ;)))

sPICY, RIGHT???

but basically, marjorine approaches ravenstan one day, mad nervous, poor angel, and asks if she can

'show him something she wrote. '

...and he is SO EXCITED, marjorine is his Baby, his transgirl princess, he vouched heavily for her during auditions and Made them put a girl in the band because she fkn shred. so, naturally, he pats an empty spot on the couch, marjorine sits down, drapes her legs over ravenstan's beautiful cinnamon scented lap because they are besties and says Of Course, Margorina <3 ( ravenstan calling marj margorina is so stinkin cute to me, i love them so much wow )

soooooo she breaks out her cute little hello kitty journal, ravenstan gives her his super weathered, emo-boy stickerbombed aucostic guitar to play and she sings please, please, please to him. <3

( she gets nervous a lot but #baeven is the cutest nicest person in the world so he squeezes her shoulder a lot and tickles her leg c’: )

marjorine finishes playing and is cringin so hard going ‘was that the worst thing you've ever heard?’ IT WAS NAUGHT BTW, HE THOUGHT IT WAS A STROKE OF GD GENIUS AND GAVE HER A LIL ROUND OF APPLAUSE WHEN HE COULD SPEAK BC HE HAD A LITERAL STROKE & WAS BREIFLY BREATHTAKEN, WOWZA!!!

but also like *eye emoji* 'is this about who i Think it is?'

*pierced eyebrow wiggle*

ravenstan is soooo Team Kenjorine, btw.

like him and kenny grew up together, chef basically raised them and he wants kenny to get his act together SO BAD, jersey is a hater, btw, he is also very overprotective of marj...i will say in the second half of rm, he does warm up to kenny after threatening them within an inch of their immortal life like

'i don't care if you're immortal, skeleton key, if you hurt MY marjorine, i will find a way. SO WATCH YOUR BONY FUCKIN BACK, BITCH!'

anyways, she's like...sigh, 'is it that obvious?' which...Yes, baby. but goes onto explain that it is about them but she wrote it out of spite.

however, Despite that, crimson dawn does need One More Song to add to to the tracklist of their upcoming album, so loverboy ravenstan with the plan, ( who is in a big ratty stanime shirt, his pijama pants and, ofc, the sharkchanclas bc when r.s. is not in The Raven Cosplay, he's the most slovenly, sickeningly fione man on earth )

gets The Stanley Marsh Smolder in his pretty blue eyes then suggests that they not only put it on their new album, but make it the Single, that she sing it, and use to address talk to kenny without having to SAY anything...

…Annnnd Not So Secretly Humble Them. <3

( marjorine really said Don't FUCK With Me, Fuckboy! )

but is like 'nO, NO, NO I CAN'T SING IT, YOU'RE THE LEAD SINGER YOU SING ALL OUR SONGS, PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME' *hides face in hands, is regretting her entire life, aaaa*

then r.s., v earnestly and preciously, takes her hands in his and says:

'this is YOUR song, preciosa. your truth. plus, i can't sing that high…but what i CAN do is sing your backup vocals. that way if you get nervous...i'll have your back.

*cute boy ravenstan under eye beauty mark wink*

Literally. ;)

so what do you say, margorina...'

bats his eyelashes, and so she'll laugh, sings

'Please, Please, Pleeease?' <3

CUUUUTE AAAA. she also thinks this is cute, caves and says 'okay, okay, Okaaaay~ but on ONE. CONDITION."

*dramatic slightly southern pause*

"You And Kyle Have To Star In The Music Video." :*

BECAAAAAUSE ravenstan and jerseykyle have been secretly dating for a Hot Minute ( and i do mean HOT, baby ;))) xx ) ever since the tail end of rm and have been *wanting* to go public abt their relationship [ sneaking around is lowk spicy, but they are soo over it, dude, fml ]

bc they wanna hold hands, go on real #hates and just be super fkn annoying in public ( also, just know the ravesey alleygations are damning, istg the ravesey die hard dawn spawn should all go to columbia LAW for the mountains of Evidence they are building -- with shrines, probably -- for #RaveseyGate ) but weren't really sure how to do it because it's kind of a big deal and changes Everything.

...buuuut it would soft, basically Hard Launch their relationship, so they wouldn't have to release an annoying statement, pluuuuus...

majorine already /has/ a FIRE Music Video Concept!

( she is a creative queen, i love her. also, since you asked, it is basically the same as sab carp's bc i get the feeling that miss marjorine watches a lot of really old, vintage movies and reads those smutty pwp paperback romance novels with the huge curly font and the dramatic picture of some dummy fine mad ripped shirtless guy and sexy scantily clad lady looking longingly at each other bc their love is *nina vc* Strictly For-bodden on the cover.

...iykyk. )

buuuuuut ravenstan has to ask kyle, which...

OOF.

tbh y'all: he's a liiiittle worried...

...bc he does Not think j.k. is gonna do it.

so naturally, he's buttering up that man up for the Kill, does laundry, finishes the dishes, pours ky a glass of box wine, sits Very Seductively ;) in jerseykyle's lap and says

'hoooola, miiiiii amor, have i told you how handsome you look today? or how funny and smart you are? like so so funny and so so smart! w-wowza, h-haha...anyways...will you do Something for me, guapo?' <3

ft. yersey squinting bc he's already sussed by the flirty ravenstannish ( stan in his lap is a MAJOR W tho ) going

'it...Depends'

LIKE HE WOULDNT DO ANYTHING FOR R.S IF HE ASKED LIKE STFU UR NEVER BEATING THE SIMP ALLEGAYIONS, JK!!!!

point. And. LAUGH!

pero like long story short, ravenstan asks him if he'll do the music video and he is Seriously Rambling And Gambling, trying to convince kyle to do this and is like 'it's for marjorine, it would mean a lot to her' rambling, rambling, rAmbLing and mid-sentence kyle is just like

'sure; i'll do it.'

whICH GAGS THE HELL OUT OF STAN, OH MY GODD.

but honestly…i really do think that kyle understands what it would mean to marj and secretly...

iiiii think he thinks it might be Fun. ;)

rs does not know this though so he's like *confused giant eye boy blinking* 'you...you'll do it?' and jersey, still tryna to be an unbothered, unsentimental king, says 'well, i don't want you makin crazy googly eyes at some annoyin airheaded actor guy in ya tiny pants'

( oh my god, hi jealous jersey ) cue stan literally yelling

AAAA NEVER!!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOOOOVEYOUUUUUU~~~~

peppers jks pretty statuesque face w/ one million thousand excited Kisses, hugs him and almost CRUSHES him to Death bc he’s so happy. with alleged unbothered unsenitmental jersey literally Squirming like

''yeah, Yeah, YEAH, whAteVa! now quit smotherin me, you're gonna make me spill my wine.' >.>

( showing j.k any affection is like trying to kiss a hissing street can. he is…blushing like hell though, oh my god. )

then is like *squints again*

'—but speaking of your little pants, rockstar boy…

...i don't have to wear a Silly Outfit, do i?'

WHICH....I MEAAAAAAAAAAAAN...

so here’s my raveseystyle!pleasepleaseplease mv PITCH.

it's a home run i think, btw. ;)

edit: so i forgot to say, marjorine is singing it w/ her cute slightly southern twang ( also yes, ravenstan mouthing it is really funny ) stan does do all the backing vocals like an octave lower and i think the vibe is mostly the same, just harder w/ more electric guitar <3 i forgot to answer that part of your question, my bad bb...but an-ee-Wayz!

so i think the entire music video is just one gigantic cameo/easter egg just full of little references ft. all the people they know. like, legit, no outside actors, just all of their friends/rm side chars.

also i can Vividly see that jail scene in the beginning but it's ravenstan in a some glitzy high fashion mesh metallic top and his demonias after a rough night out doing god knows what ( idk what they locked him up for...punk rocking too hard? being bi without a lisence? buying too much taco bell? being too Fine? Indecent EXPOSURE? )

and i think marj’s little cameo is that she is the police officer :) wITH ACAB ALL OVER HER UNIFORM BTW!

CRIMSON DAWN SAYS FUCK COPS!!!!

and yells 'mCELROY!

SOMEBODY BAILED YOUR ASS OUT!’

( stan going by chef's last name instead of marsh is so cute to me aw, i hate you randy, pls die ) but he gets, up, shrugs and does the cute lil

'Oh, Me?' ;) xx thing

also i think officer marj being like 'i said go left' via the og vid is so funny bc u knooow stan's tiny locationally challenged hiney would go in the wrong fkn direction, lmao, i fear that might not have been scripted, god bless him...also...bc he's technically marj in the mv...do i…have him go Blonde again?

...it's for the ART, okay!!!!

anyways, she hands him his belongings in that clear evidence bag and i think what's in Ravenstan's Bag is probably: the big obnoxious upside down cross earring, his signature heart vial necklace, a lil pack of cinnamon extra gum andddd...a shitty black CVS eyeliner pencil. :)

which, instead of doing lipstick, i think he totally starts doing his Eyeliner in the reflection of that scratched up prison info-window. like just starts absentmindedly filling in his waterline and everything. king shit.

CUE JERSEY WHO....wHEEEEEW.

you can Tell that man was meant for Jail...

because he's got F-I-N-E written AAALL OVER HIM.

but, alright so...Concept?

i really wanted to lean into the OG Jersey!Kyle design, so i'm putting him in the baggy, ripped up, bad boy, street fighter jeans, THE KYLEY B TANK TOP WITH KYLEY B WRITTEN ON IT IN SHARPIE, the star of david chain necklace and oooh, do i slick his hair back? STAAAHP.

edit: i just remembered that because of the gunshot wound...jersey's hair is short which...lowkey?

kind of a LEWK, HONESTLY????

but okay, they're reading him his miranda rights, he's rolling his eyes. i think his contacts are in...for Vibes? idk.

( look, you just gotta rock and roll with it, baby. )

during this, i honestly think he should spit in whatever one of their friends is playing the cop's face ( bonus if it's clyde, help ), i also think they should take his bone thug mug shot with his middle finger up,

regardless, stan and ky Lock Eyes,

and it is....Extremely STEAMY, my goodness.

( pls note: if they are staring longingly at each other or are very down horrendously/not so slyly checking each other out, they're not playing it up for the cameras, they’re Simply Obsessed with each other. )

my lil mv divergence is that i think jers should give raven The Nod, v suggestively mouth 'Call Me' xx. ;) and r.s. should be chewing a piece of his gum, blow a big ass bubble and have it POP! for shock value.

listen...Listen:

I AM A VISIONARY, OKAY!!!!

THIS IS (M)O(V)IE MAGIC, COMRADES!

This is MY Mo!mentttttt!

speaking of moments, i thought that part where sab and barry were talking on those iconic jail phones and touching their hands together against the glass was cute asf, so that's staying. outfit wise, idk how to replicate the sick blue dress/shawl thing, but i'll put him a blue fit ig and he can wear the blue standana have some sunglasses as a treat. i kind of want them to be the flame ones...pls. also think j.k. is wearing the stan s necklace and r.s. is wearing the kyle k choker. <3

Gay Rights. happy pride month.

and when they let kyle out...i'm putting him in THIS outfit from it's a jersey thing because i am Obsessed with it. it really has to give like harley davidson, affliction sleeveless shirt/tank top, crazy ed hardy jeans, gigantic chunky sneaker, gold chain, y2k hot boy cringe VIBES.

( i love you edgy boy yersey, that man looks fine as hell. also no sleeves that whole mv, we just get to marvel at j.k.'s beautiful, freckly, MASSIVELY TONED ARMS for 4 minutes & 22 seconds...ur welc. )

but *sweats* do we see...My VISION?

*will graham vc* This Is My Design.

and i’d say sorry for insanely and meticulously matching their outfits to sab/barry's in the OG video but again.…I’m A Visionary.

as such, i am totally going to take the gigantic jacket that sabrina is wearing and have it be...The Stanley Marsh Signature Leather Jacket with all his lil emo boy pins ( do i leave the 'I Love Nerds' pin on it ) ft. ofc, a cd blood moon pin, a #raveseyforever pin and the bi-flag.

i’m also totally putting him in the tiny vegan leather pants and what else but...THE SAVE ROCK, FUCK A ROCKSTAR TANK TOP.

god, i'm sorry, this is IMMACULATE content to me.

also stan is 5'10" but he can be tall and wear his lil doc martens and cool goth boy platforms that whole mv bc that is hot boy shit.

beeeeesitos, ravenstan. :****

AS FAR AS THE CAR GOES THO...originally, i was like i should have the car be stan's cool badass celebrity boy motorcycle ( ily crim ) BUT

I KIND OF THINK IT WOULD BE SICK IF IT WAS LADY.

lady is my favorite rm side character, btw. :*

so yeah, ravesey reunite in the jail parking lot with stan loungin on lady and they drive off into the sunset. <3

NOW REGARDING THE PART WHERE THEY'RE IN THE RESTAURANT, i thought it would be cute asf if it was Cookie's Diner to reference their first hate and cookie can cameo in it ( edit: i forgot i think on 'so act like a stand up guy' jimmy is doing standup or sit down, aka what he used to call his routine for gigs bc he can't really stand )...but back to cookie, who leads them into the backroom with all the bad guys and thugs, who are kingpinned by none other than The King himself...

Chef ;)

CHEEEEF CAMEO!!!!

who...got a little Too IN Character.

( bc i know he kind of wanted to beat kyle's ass at first, he was like that is my precious son, you no good new jersey Gangbanger! they are cool now, i promise, but given that most of rae’s childhood was spent with him trying to prevent stan from trying to track jersey down and blow his cover...chef had to Cook a little, tbh. )

idk who all the goons are, probably like tolkien, all of kyle's law student friends, other waiters/waitresses working at cookie's, but what i do know is that scene in the backroom wITH JERSEYKYLE FUCKING THUGS UP GODFATHER JOHN WICK MOB-STYLE IS SO GOOD.

( also i never finished it -- what's new -- but him cracking a huge bottle over someone's head is actually beautiful foreshadowing because in the post-divorce future where kyle is in that back alleyway fight, gets his shitrocked and then rocks those three drunk guys ShiT for trying to talk sHIT?? on his punrock ex??? yeah....Yeah. beautiful. )

speaking of....can we see ravenstan in the doorway, singing, being oblivious, batting his eyelashes, archin his back doing hot boy shit...Wowza. truly a blessing. kind of want to put him in that sexc red corset top thing sabrina was wearing bc it's fuego and i saaaaid i wouldn't put him in the new perspective anti-christ leather mini AGAIN but tbh? my mans flat ass looked phenomenal in that Thang and i Do think the sick kindness dagger thigh tattoo should make a guest appearance At Least ONCE. we deserve a win, everyone.

and we stay winning, because lady gets to come back. and while ravenstan is patching up jerseykyle's fake black eye ( also delicious foreshadowing ) and the back of the car pops...i think the person tied up in the trunk...SHOULD LITERALLY BE SOMEONE DRESSED UP EXACTLY LIKE CARTMAN SO WE CAN LAUGH.

edit: stan flipping kyle off from the car…amazing.

but fr they really were acting crazy when they were making this mv, they said fuck you cartman, rot in hell, you piece of sHIT. that was a win for the crimson dawn boys bc he tortured them for his entire reign of Terror running that evil record company...*jersey vc* JUSTICE!

anyways, INJUSTICE bc jerseykyle robs a bank in that next scene, i'm sorry he just gets to live in that sleeveless y2k ed hardy looking ass black shirt and the baggy jeans because i am obsessed with scary sexc hoodlum yersey, it's also extremely funny because he is literally always in a button down and slacks...

SPEAKING OF!!!

( nina stop saying speaking of challenge, smh )

sabrina's little cropped button down office siren outfit, i actually had this dating hc that stan took one of kyle's suits he was going to get rid of, SHREDDED IT WITH SCISSORS!!!!

made it into this super raw, edgy, shabby chic rockstar haute whore couture art piece and i thought abt having him wear it at a show as a lil nod to kyle but THIS MIGHT KYLEY-B THE MOMENT!!!!!

THIS MIGHT BE /IT/ YALL!!!!

and ravenstan looked v cute, if i may, <3 the hip tattoos were hip tattooing SO HARD ( i am srs when god made stan he did not have to give him that slutty lil waist like what do u need that for WHORE??? )

jerseykyle's jaw doing the scary boy twitch at the bank teller holding the prop gun and then cheeky bad-boy winking at ravenstan? <3 i am obsessed...also grabbing his hand and escorting emo boy bambi business uncasual ravenstan all shook out of the bank? CUUUTE.

all the money is monopoly money…for shits and gigs.

THIS IS SOOOOO LONG, HELP ME. I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH, I FEAR THIS IS INSANE AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS MY BLOG, I DO WHAT I WAAAANT BROTHER.

okay, the part where kyle gets arrested Again. rip. smh. canon. that lil black outfit? i'm sorry but if i don't put ravenstan in this lil black shirt with the leather chest harness and the tiny pants...it will haunt me. it'll also haunt me if i don't tell y'all that i had an hc where one time backstage stan was also wearing this lil chest harness thing bc he’s a baddie ( i think it crisscrossed in the shape of a satanic star ) AND JERSEYKYLE PULLED HIM UP TO KISS HIM...BY THE LEATHER CHEST HARNESS???? he never…Ever recovered from that, oOF.

the deeply madly in love simp staring while kyle gets carted away with ravenstan singin to him, holding his face...Beautiful.

with all the side characters shaking their heads like smh kyle please stop doing ILLEGAL SHIT, BROTHER! its okay, he gets out of jail again, they're in the parking lot, lady is back, stan looks Pissed...it is unfortunately not forced because i think that baeven mi amor mi vida has pulled yersey out of the police station a lot bc hes always on some angry boy easy to provoke rage mode FUCK SHIT...its why stan begged him to stop fighting because it was stressing him out. :(

( he also loves kyle v much n hates like seeing him hurt )

BUT ONTO THE MAIN EVENT ( we're almost done guys, i promise ) in that lil questioning room with the table and the chair...listen, i don't know how to replicate this outfit Either, all i know is that ravenstan was def in something white and i think this waist chain belt situation happened in lieu (lewd) of the gigantic silver buckle...AAAAAAAA.

i don't know, okay? HE! LOOKED! GOOD!

( he also was totally rocking The Sexc Lip Ring Chain )

that's what Matters!!!

jerseykyle...also looked good. HONESTLY FOR LAFFS I THINK I SHOULD HAVE KYLE NOW WEARING THE SAVE ROCK FUCK A ROCKSTAR TANK TOP...idk maybe stan can be in the kyley b one. listen, it's giving the super gay chad/ryan outfit switch in hsm. mwah.

GAY! RIGHTS!!!!

that scene is...very gay, btw. it was also STEEEAMY, whEw! stan swinging the handcuffs in kyle’s face looking bad as hell, oh my God! tbh jersey did think this was funny because okay go off Dom King Ravenstan like he can ask for a fork without whImpErIng, but also spicy scary stan...he was Sweating. i have never seen a man want to violently kiss a man as much as jerseykyle wanted to kiss raven, i know truly horrible things happened in the undressing room. woops.

but the preformance art of that entire thing, ravenstan handcuffing jersey ( also why the HELL did barry arch his back like that, who told him to do that, i know it wasn't scripted, it also wasn't scripted for kyle either he was like oooooh my god HI SCARY STANnsdhlsd )

he was like please, Please PLEASE

— Step On Me in the scary goth boy demonias.

OKAY, ITS THE END!! WE REACHED THE END!!! NINA PLEASE SHUT UP!!! JERSEYKYLE PLEASE SHUT UP ALSO IG bc stan does the thing where he duct tapes kyles mouth...that was also doing crazy things to him...boys will you please stop thinking about touching ass and think about touching Grass, maybe? A BIBLE??!

maybe i'll put stan in a lil black lipstick so when he gives jersey that little kiss at the end it can also leave a lovely lipstick kiss mark except in a goth font....with jersey staring at him in wonderment and awe.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE!!!!

CHEEEEEEEEERS! MAZ-EL! <3

-uncle nina, sabrina carpenter superfan

[nesonkin]

i know its been years and you probably arent even into voltron anymore but let me tell u those rebel fighters are my roman empire with their total 5 minute screentime 😭😭😭😭 they couldve been so interesting like with olia and ozar killing off te-osh felt so lazy imo but it is what it is 😔 n-7 scenes were lingered on for so much only for nothing to happen 💀 i come back to your rebel coalition headcanon posts every now and then when i remember vld exists 😭 the relationship b/w the coalition and the bom i like to think theyve known abt the bom for a whileee but it was more of an unspoken thing rather than like an official talked throught sort of partnership? idkkkkkk plz ramble if u have thoughts 😭

Omg, this ask was certainly unexpected! Thank you for coming back, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes I also get random vld rebels thoughts and then it goes on for a day until it fades away again.

They're mostly Matt x N-7 related too, because I love them still.

I really have nothing on the BoM & freedom fighters. I can't imagine the rebels even knowing about them pre-voltron era with how secretive they are. After S4? Fuck yeah. It would still likely be a sort of "we each do our own thing but if you guys need a hand we will give it to you" kind of partnership.

The Voltron Coalition consists of many different species. Most of them likely suffered under the Galra colonization. And I bet at least one third of them struggles to accept the BoMs as their allies.

Oh, and did we ever have a talk about BoM's beliefs and practices? All of them being exactly what the rebels are fighting against?

Yeah, there would be a lot of tension I imagine. ESPECIALLY with how I write Ozar as the one who would rather fail the mission than to lose another soldier. As opposed to BoM's "mission above all" rule.

The only time the two rebel factions ever fully agree with one another is taking a piss at the Voltron Show.

I hope this was satisfying enough of an answer. Honestly, you coming back in my inbox has actually inspired me to do something with all my headcanon lore. I'm thinking of writing a fic about Matt's journey with the rebels. Like, without outline or beta or anything. Super self-indulgent. I just want to write it for myself and maybe someone will enjoy it too.

[singeryuri]

hihiii nikolai >_0 if ur still doing the s/i game how abt 🌩️✨📚 !! pick anyone u wanna dooo :3

referencing this ask game!

YAYYY thank you yves :3 I am indeed still accepting asks for it since I ♡ excuses to ramble muahaha >:3 decided to go with dmitrie and éloise for the first 2, but for 📚 I took into account all my s/is and wrote as much as I could think of atm! under the cut bc rambling wahoo ^_^

🌩️ ; Do any canon characters hate your S/I? Who's their worst enemy?

Dmitrie: He gets on Rikai's nerves sooo much it is so funny oh my goodness. With his obnoxious flirting towards Amahiko, and him trying to 'ship' the rest of the charismas he gets yelled at a lot (reasonably so bc what is this man's problem!1!1!1) for acting like a weirdo. I need to put them in a locked room with security cameras together and watch what happens..

Éloise: Her dislike of Mozus is mainly something that rubbed off on her from Divus, but it'd still definitely be there without him around. She considers him a pain to talk to for long and feels as though he's a strict, boring old guy. If she had to choose, she much prefers standing off to the side giggling as she watches Divus and him bicker.

✨ ; What are some of your S/Is favorite things, aside from your F/O?

Dmitrie: He eats UP badly written romance, could live off of a steady supply of YA fiction instead of food for about a month or two. He also has a bit of a sweet tooth, and enjoys cherry and strawberry flavored things. His favorite color is red, the color of love, but he's also a fan of pink and white, since they're other colors commonly associated with love. He also loves stuff with tacky heart motifs. Valentine's Day and the days leading up to it are like the "Objective: Survive" time of the year for his wallet.

Éloise: She loooves things with berries, especially blueberries! I imagine she always has some blueberry tea in her house because it's her favorite kind, and indulges on blueberry tarts once in a while when she needs to satisfy her sweet tooth. In terms of music, she likes classier stuff, usually listening to orchestral music while she works or relaxes. She wears a lot of green and works with nature, so me saying she likes it isn't anything special, but she also has a fondness for orange and I think she'd really like amber jewelry :] Anddd finally, one of her favorite flowers is a sunflower 🌻! I'd have to google a bunch of flowers to accurately list off what she likes since she probably knows ten times more types off hand than I do but those I do know about. So yay!

📚 ; Do you think any of your S/Is from different media would get along well?

Ohh absolutely!! Martha being the gothic girl she is would looove being around Rina, and be so curious about her whole.. haunted doll thing. I think Rina and Odette could also be doll friends and bond over doll things. Jarek and Dmitrie would at least get along decently because I think they'd be able to bond over The Longing™ together, but this is assuming Dmitrie doesn't start being really weird. As all the crsm characters are known to be. But even then I think Jarek wouldn't mind much like c'mon he's in love with King Yaoi III who knows maybe being Like That is just how Dmitrie copes with being in love with whoever this Amahiko guy is 🤷 Dorenia is a friendly fella so he'd generally be pretty ok with most of my other S/Is I think. Aven and them feel like they'd get along well but I think that's because they're some of the most Nikolai-truthful characters in terms of personality so I think that's just them being similar people,, Interesting question hehe this was really funny to think about!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

for the three anon questions thing :3

1. whats your mbti type?? if you know it!

2. what occupations do u think your jjk faves would have if they were in a regular world without curses… only asking this because i saw a tweet a while back asking the same thing. And someone said satoru would be a teacher who’s also a dog walker on the side. and I’ve been thinking about it for mobths it’s so cute 😭

3. do you write poetry at all? your writing is always so intimate and beautiful i feel like poetry by you would make me cry in the best way possible

hi hi anon <333 thank you for sending these in!! giving you a big smooch on the cheek

1/ infj!!!!!! :3 i think….. it’s been a while since i took that test though.

2/ GREAT QUESTION HEHE <333333 satoru would probably be a model 😭 i hate to say it but it’s true. thoughhhh i also adore the idea of him being a teacher no matter what, so i’m just gonna say that he’s a full time high school teacher who does photo shoots for fun :3 he likes…. the attention. you know how he is. BUT HIM BEING A DOG WALKER WOULD BE SOOOOO CUTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME 🥺🥺 suguru however…. hhhh i could see him being either a teacher or a lawyer. a teaching profession really would be perfect for him, but i also think public justice is something he’s very passionate about……. either one of them seems fitting!!! :3 if he’s a teacher then i think his class has the most serious beef with gojo’s class LMAO. they talk shit abt each other <333 shoko is :3 a doctor…. yeah. sorry queen. or maybe a school nurse, actually? just for the sake of sticking with stsg 🥺 she’s always there to patch any rowdy kids up and everyone adores her!!!! even if she’s a little scary sometimes….. one time stsg got into a fight when she was having a migraine and she got. really pissed. it was terrifying. she loves them though <3 aaaand then we have kenjaku………….. i’m gonna be self-indulgent and say they’re part of a famous stand up duo :3c with a certain silly guy. they’re on talk shows a lot….. kenny has almost gotten them cancelled several times <333

3/ 🥹🥹🥹 aaaa tysm anon….. i haveeee written poetry before but. i’m not confident in it at all!!!! i’m really just not good . at writing more…. compressed pieces??? idk but it feels a lot safer to write fics with flowery writing 😭 i really, really really admire anyone who writes poetry. and i love reading it soso much!!!!!

[trashimoto]

SORRY IAM AT SCHOOL that comic is absolutely stunning thank you for the masterpiece

i would be interested in your hcs and other sdra? stuff u make!!! nikei yomiuri fixation is going on 116 days and i need some content to keep me aalive right now

I bestow upon you my ultimate favorite nikei headcanons

I think he ends up using his little around his neck scoops notebook for lots of different things like of course notes interviews and articles but i imagine he also uses it kind of like as a journal / diary too as well as like planning stuff and also the joe biden negative ebergy manifestation thing (pic below) but with mikado

I think like his biggest interest / thing he could go on and on about BESIDES journalism is soda. he has some moments where he talks about it in the game like when he gets really excited abt the discontinued soda in the vending machines but like i think this guy knows way too much. collects old bottles bit doesnt tell anyone because he thinks its dorky. he loves trying the weirdest flavors he can find and he has a seperate notebook with his comprehensive soda reviews and rankings.

Based on the bit we do know about his food preferences in canon + a little bit of me projecting I do really think he has ARFID. This goes a little bit with the soda thing because like i think he probably doesnt drink anything besides soda and coffee. hajime is BEGGING HIM to please drink some water. I think he survives mostly on like chips and ramen. And of course he doesn’t want to eat whatever mikado makes because its mikado but i do think part of it is also mikado makes very fancy dishes a lot and i think they are Scary Foods. This ine is very like self indulgent LOL

He’s definetly the type to get mad, punch the wall, and then break his hand as a result. I just know he’s done it

This is more of a headcanon for an au nikei i roleplay with some friends but im includijg it because inreally like it. there are multiple other characters who can use magic in said rp and as a result of his experiances with Mikado, nikei is staunchly Anti-Magic. He’s afraid of it + it just makes him SO mad too. Like this extends from like magic powers to psychics to like slieght of hand magicians. Very strong emotional reaction from him everytime and I don’t even blame him honestly

i think he plauys angry birds

He dresses in just as many layers of clothes in the summer and winter. Like he’s always wearing a ridiculous amount of clothes unless he’s like actively swimming. I know he did go swimming in the prolouge BUT i think that if he wenr ro the beach to just relax he wouod be in the full get up vest jacket two scarves and all. But also like hell hes going to the beach just to relax this man doesnt know how to relax

I THINK HE HATES SCARY MOVIES BUT WHENEVER HES DOING A MOVIE NIGHT WITH VOID OR JUST FRIENDS HES LIKE “WELL WE CANT WATCH A SCARY MOVIE BECAUSE IROHA WILL GET SCARED” BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW (THEY CAN TELL)

Hes definetly bad at math. This guy is a WRITER you just know he was crushing it in lit classes but doing shit in math. I think it just doesnt make sense to him. My dad actually oen time was telling me how he likes math because theres always one objectively right answer and i think as a journalist and a liar nikei would struggke with that aspect. You can’t reallt bullshit your way with persuasive writing through math LMFAO.

Regularly gets in fights in the youtube comments section

Personally I don’t think Nikei has his liscence because I don’t think he’d be a particularly good driver. I think also if he does though he’s almost never allowed to drive when hes going out with other people because he gets the most insane road rage.

He tried to start a book club on the monocruise and it ended up with only three members himself iroha and yoruko. Iroha only wanted to talk about yaoi and the book club was dissolved before the first meeting finished because monocrow ushered yoruko and nikei out of the library for yelling at eachother (they had different interpertations of the books ending)

[yuukei-yikes]

I SEE YOU OUT HERE VINNIE!!!!! so you already know i have gotta ask,

WHAT IS YOUR FAVE UNDERRATED KAGEROU MOMENT?!!

WHOA a lot of energy hey there

UMMM underrated... i wouldn't know what is an underrated moment or not but some of my favorites are, in no particular order

the shinene goodbye in second manga route. like i do dislike this route but BWAHHH BWAHHHHH BWAHHHH THIS SHIT GETS ME SO BAD MAN SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF like iam pretty pissed THIS route where ene didnt Really know shintaro pre ene like in the main route like that so important to what makes their dynamic so insane yknow what i mean ugh *kicks second manga route* but whatever that scene is 10/10 and in my sick twisted mind this 10000% happens post str too. minus saying goodbye and takane dying yknow. i want these bitches to break down to each other bc they were the only thing they had for over a year and for shintaro to tell takane thank you for being by my side and all that shit and they sob together for an hour and how awkward the aftermath would be

ERM. another shintaro and takane moment but more a takane one. seventh novel confrontation. that whole chapter has my heart but specifically when takane gets teary eyed over kenjirou being clearing and having killed her and haruka. and kano reassuring her it is safe to love the person he was at home and at school and takane cheering up and going yeah he's still a really good guy (goes crazy) and i love that shintaro inner comment is being relieved when she cheers up and if he could help it he'd like to avoid seeing her sad again LOL (the whole chapter he's like SHE'S THE DEVIL SHE IS A DEMON SHE NEEDS TO SINK BACK TO HELL WHERE SHE CAME FROM then she tears up for 30 seconds and he's like WHAT THE FUCK MAKE IT STOP) they are bestfriends ur honor

sixth novel when haruka admits to having feelings for takane. this one is DEFINITELY underrated like i BARELY ever see ppl talk abt it like GIRL ITS RIGHT THERE WHAT IS WRONG WITH U. its generally very cute not only cuz of harutaka but because of shintaro and haruka being bestfriends because haruka realises thru yeah shintaro is my friend!!! but then goes into how calling takane a friend doesn't feel entirely right and "gives him a bad aftertaste in his throat... oh, so it's that kind of thing" i love that both haruka and takane have the "i wonder why" line when it comes to being unable to identify why is it that they feel so inclined to each other. it is so special to me too that haruka identifies his feelings by himself and the only reason he keeps them at bay is his health the fact he will die so what even is the point in indulging in his feelings for her. AUGH. i wanna die. i need ppl to talk abt this bit more. especially since i consider the harutaka bit in the lost day hour comic a callback since haruka wasnt gonna include takane in his interviews. like (tears hair off) WHY DIDNT HE WANT TO. he was all like "uhh yeah i got 1 more person to ask but...." and then takane's the one to be like i still havent given u my answer "oh yeah i was thinking of asking you but..." But what you fucking loser. why do you keep saying but. sorry im so normal abt the harutaka in lost day hour

another one i like is novel 6 when kenjirou calls haruka on the phone (goes crazy) their bond drives me so crazy kenjirou is just collecting kids he is such a good dad i was going crazy over this last night like im so sad he's dead in str like my man you have 4 kids STAY ALIVEEEE GET OUT OF THEREEEEEE *ugly crying*um. yeah. novel 6 revealing the iconic yuukei yesterday bit where kenjirou forces haruka and takane to organize a booth in 1 weeks time wasnt really bc of the principal/administrator/whatever but bc he knew haruka wanted it and needed an excuse to get takane moving therefore get haruka moving. if he only told haruka, haruka would laugh it off and be like noooo but if he Forces takane then she will beat sense into haruka for him. it just says so much abt kenjirous character to me. he is extremely caring but sort of hands off in a way, but when he needs to. he knows how haruka is that's why he used that approach. IT MAKES ME CRAZY adoptive dad for real. also remember how haruka wakes up in the daze already seeing through konohas eyes and sees his dear teacher all sneering being like MAN WHAT A PAIN THESE 2 WERE TO KILLLLL omg konoha ur awake lol look!!! and shows him takanes dead body. GIRL. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT HARUKA WAS FEELING AT THAT MOMENT. the only adult he ever trusted and could confide in + his last thoughts before dying (aside from being like I DONT WANNA FUCKING DIEEEE) is a goodbye to takane and how she has to be happy and live a long life with all the people she will meet even if without him. and then he sees she is dead killed by this man he trusted so much. girl. *succumbs into despair*

UMMMM yeah those are a few of my favorites. i got a ton more tho. every haruka and takane moment is a favorite too.

[fullmetal-the-last-alchemist]

hi ruth!!! :] for that ask game, i have many so i'm just going to rapidfire them at you!!! a little tf2 heavyweapons guy indulgence is necessary every once in a while <3 🍄🥰

funky orange, forest green, the purple christ ALIVE the purple!!! ocean blue (a slight spoiler hehe) & cherry blossom since we met irl in the spring! :] green screen, always! ��🏻‍♀️🏋🏻‍♀️🏋🏻‍♀️ void black + ice blue, esp in the madness and mania right now... and... ofc... to finish it all off... lilac bites u bites u bites you bites yuo bites y-

SARAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💥💥💥💥

funky orange: you are very fun, your blog is a joy <3 RIGHT BACK ATCHA!!!!!!!! 🥹🥹🥰😘💕 no but fr whenever i see your icon or url i get warm fuzzies... like that's sarah!!! sarah thee bröth-lovied!!!!! you never fail to bring me joy 💝💝💝

forest green: let's elope <3 ANYTIME BELOVIED,,, not just for tax benefits.,, but also for love 💞💞💞💞💘💘

jrwi purple: you are so right about your blorbos WEEE THANK YOUUU 🥰🥰 since our interests don't entirely overlap i love the idea that u support me in my blorbomania even when u might know NOTHING abt the blorbo in question,... that is true love + support right there 🥰💘 but like i also get it bc i feel the same way abt u, i KNOW in my heart that ur correct abt everything re: your blorbos who only hold blorbo-in-law status for me... i don't know vergil but you are correct about EVERYTHING with him 💖💖

ocean blue: uhh... seashells for you? !!!!!!! a slight spoiler!!!??!!! 👀👀 AHHH NOW I'M EVEN MORE EXCITED HEHEHEHEHE 🥳🥳💃🕺💃🕺

cherry blossom: you remind me of spring awww, i really like that, that's so sweet!!! 🥰🥰🌺🌻🌼 i cannae lie, in that particular regard, i'm not sure i feel the same,, because for me, i flew back home to 20 degree F weather like three days later MKDGHFDDF not very springlike unfortunately 😅😅 for me, you remind me of summer+fall, cause we started talking in the fall and bc you live in The State Of Eternal Summer (florida 🫡)

green screen: you can do anything, I'm proud of you !!!!! wahhhhhhh SARAAHHhhh ;___; thank u,.... and the same to you of course!!!! all the stuff you've been doing lately, with the substitute job and the house cleaning and the evil peepaw situation... u are so strong adn i'm so proud and i wish i could spirit u away to a pocket dimension to give u the 1000 hour nap u deserve 🤧🤧💝💝💝

void black: you are too hard on yourself! learn to take it easy :c 🥺🥺🥺 ookay. okay. yeah., thats fair. i'll try 💞 but also,, 🪞🪞🪞 U TOO!!!!! u are one of the most kind and giving and patient and generally amazing people i have ever known... if i could reflect the love i have for u back into your own soul u would never feel another negative thing about yourself again....THATS CHEESY BUT ITS TRUE AND IM STANDING BY IT 🙈😤😤💗💗

ice blue: wrapping you in a blanket rn omg,, i would love that bc im actually cold rn... and the closest blanket to me rn is my favoritest blanket in the whole world... it has kitties on it and it's soft and fleece and it's the best.. i am wrappng you in here with me.... i love u 💓💓

lilac: biting yuo NO U!!! >:3 bites yuo bites yuo bites yuo bites yuo bites yuo bites yuo bites y

[yinyuedijun]

COCO.....I WILL CRY ACTUALLY I WILL CRY OVER ALL UR COMMENTS 😭😭😭 I LITERALLY CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THEY MADE ME AGLDJSKFJAJ thank you so so much for taking the time to type out all your reactions & thoughts, and saying such kind things !!! 🥺🥺🥺

also I'm about to type an entire essay in response, for which I apologize LOL

SO FUNNILY, one of the things I was really worried abt with this fic is that it wasn't very concise because I kept wanting to ramble abt the other characters!! usually I too always forget about characters other than the love interest (LMAO) but I genuinely love all the wbk boys I couldn't help but want to talk about what they're up to in this au... so I'm super glad that you enjoyed all those lil details in the fic, and they didn't feel pointless !! 🥺 (k.u.w.b. made me giggle btw. imagining a reality tv show where umemiya is the kris jenner equivalent)

I genuinely giggled so much when I saw ur reaction to the marriage joke.... now I'm extremely excited for ur reaction if you read part 2 because it'll be coming up again :3ccc

ALSO COCO ITS LIKE WE ARE TELEPATHICALLY CONNECTED BC THATS THE EXACT PANEL I WAS THINKING ABT AS I WROTE THAT SCENE I was actually shocked when I saw those mangacaps in ur post LOL

laughing so so hard @ the colourblindness comments 😭😭😭 my genuine mission with this fic was to get everyone situationally colourblind for this man and I'm glad it worked on you miss coco ♥️♥️♥️ who can resist a man that looks at you as if you were a misbehaving kitten.... truly 😔 (giggled at ur reaction to that line too btw hehehe)

and HELP your comments on the scene with sakura were so fun to read !! I really did want people to genuinely feel like suo is A Danger at this point so I'm super happy that you thought the scene was tense and actually anxiety provoking WAHAHA. also I'm so flattered you thought it felt like a film scene, though I apologize for the whiplash LMDAOFKJS. I've never seen uncut gems but now I feel like I have to watch it!!!!

I literally laughed OUT LOUD at your reaction to the scene where suo pulled u into his lap HAHFLSJS NOT YOUR STUFFED ANIMAL.... rip sorry abt the tragic casualty of this suo fic </3 but also I desperately need to know,

what would you want to say that would get you guillotined? 🎤🎤🎤

but speaking more seriously LOL it means a lot to me that you like their relationship and suo's characterization! I'm sure you've seen me ramble abt this rip but writing him makes me nervous bc we have no info on him 💔 so I'm glad you enjoyed the backstory I hallucinated for him, as well as the yandere angle that I went with for him!!! also I must admit I screamed a lil when you said "perhaps what's best for her is to fuck her silly and hold her tenderly and kiss her like a lover...?" ALGKSFJJS you understand exactly where I'm going with his mindset ♥️ but also I regret to inform you that the sex is actually insane, though I hope you will enjoy it anyway 😭😭😭 ITS FINE HE'LL DO ALL THOSE THINGS OFFSCREEN LATER

I ALSO need to admit I got embarrassed when u called me out on loving suo 😔 I really do love this guy, especially this stinky horrible man version of him I hallucinated HRGKSJS. I'm not used to writing super self-indulgent things so I was a lil embarrassed about posting this tbh!!!! so thank you for being so encouraging n supportive about that aspect of the fic !!

I SHALL FORCE MYSELF TO STOP YAPPING NOW and I'm sorry I wrote so much LOL. I just wish words could convey how much ur comment means to me!!! 🥺🥺🥺 you are so kind and thoughtful and I hope you know how much I appreciate u!!!

TOKYO VICE | part 1

You knew that if you agreed to move in with Suo, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these alarming behaviours were all signs that he desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good decision. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Unfortunately for you, you rarely made good decisions. (Or: After joining the yakuza, Suo develops the concerning habit of controlling every facet of your life. This is somehow less worrying to you than your uncontrollable lust around him.)

8.7k words. suo x fem reader. deeply unserious yakuza au. yandere suo (not abusive and reader is into it), dark comedy, a little angst, smut. warnings: borderline sex work, off-screen criminal violence. nsft – no actual smut in this chapter, but there are still graphic discussions of sex. mdni. thank you to @sleepyqinfei for beta reading and to @/cafekitsune for the banner!

this is a sequel to sincerity and this sakura/reader wip (not required reading)!

You’re not exactly sure why you and Suo have never fucked.

It’s certainly strange, given that you're pretty sure that Suo has expressed at least passing interest in you over the years, and you have felt a lot of interest in him. (By ‘interest’, you mean that you feel an insatiable lust around him that you fight to ignore on a daily basis.) You can't exactly pinpoint why nothing has ever happened despite this mutual attraction, especially given your profession and indifferent feelings toward casual sex.

You can think of a number of probable reasons, which are separate from those you classify as stupid reasons. The latter class comprises silly concerns like a fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being pretty enough, fear of not being good enough, et cetera. All very juvenile feelings—insecurities that you had in your teenage years, the days in which Suo ran around Makochi as a delinquent while you worked an honest job at a bar. (It was a girls’ bar in the red light district, but that's neither here nor there.) Your circumstances have since changed, and those anxieties have since faded. None of them have any material consequence for your current life, so you don't see any point in thinking about them.

The stupid reasons, then, definitely don't have anything to do with why you've never fucked Suo. But you can think of a few, more concrete reasons that may explain it. For one, Suo has been your friend since childhood and it’s generally a bad idea to have sex with your long-time friends. He was also your roommate for a while and it’s an even messier idea to have sex with your roommates. And now, in your adulthood, he’s your landlord in addition to being your boss, which makes him the worst possible person you could have sex with. You could lose both your home and your livelihood if things go south—both severe, material consequences that should theoretically keep your lust at bay.

Also, he's also a member of the yakuza.

Now, strictly speaking—you're not really opposed to having sex with violent criminals. It’s definitely not a good idea, but you don't usually have good ideas anyway. But for the past several years, you’ve been pissed at Suo for joining the yakuza in the first place, which actually does keep your blatant attraction to him in check. You simply dry up when you think too hard about all the feelings of betrayal.

When Suo was on the cusp of graduating from Furin and thinking about his future, you’d grabbed him by the collar and made him promise not to join the yakuza. They constantly tried to recruit from Bofurin, and they especially wanted Sakura, Suo, and Sugishita. You were adamant about chasing them off from Suo and Sakura whenever they approached—you had no need to worry about Sugishita, as Umemiya had already said he shouldn't talk to them, so there was no chance he was going to—and you begged Suo over and over not to join. Delinquency was fine, but a crime syndicate was something else altogether.

Suo seemed serious about it when he said he'd listen to you. He even applied to colleges, talked about maybe becoming a teacher and eventually supporting you so you could stop working in the mizu shobai industry. Back then, he often teased you by saying that you should marry him and be his housewife (or he could be your trophy husband, if you so wished). You thought he was joking, but with the way he always talked about his life after his degree, you wondered if he would seriously suggest it.

Of course, it was most likely just teasing, and you were fine with that. You were simply excited that he'd found a career that would make him happy. Nirei had also been accepted to university at that point, and even Sakura had an honest job lined up on Keisei Street. The future had looked bright for everyone.

Then Suo’s master died, and he lost his fucking mind.

The two of you buried Suo’s master in a Chinese funeral. He had never had children of his own, having satisfied his paternal instincts by picking up strays, and he didn't have much in the way of family in Japan either, so you and Suo performed the shou ling yourselves. One person kept a constant vigil over his body while the other searched on Google for what arrangements should be made next. After all, while Suo’s master had immersed his foremost disciple in his culture, he had never taught Suo any funerary customs. He hadn't thought there would be a need.

Suo didn't cry nearly as much as you, but he was probably in more pain. Your master had trained you a little bit when you were a kid, and he'd taken you in for a while after your parents kicked you out, so of course you were gutted. But he had practically raised Suo, so it was naturally worse for him. More shattering.

You often think about the first night you decided you'd sleep with him in the same futon because he was crying so much. He insisted he was fine, but he didn't complain when you got under the sheets with him and started thumbing away his tears. When you took off his eyepatch, you found, to your astonishment, that he was crying from his missing eye as well. Both of you thought the tear ducts had been destroyed in either the accident or the enucleation, but it appeared that not even that prior trauma could mask his grief over this one.

Nevertheless, by the time of the funeral procession, Suo had stopped crying.

“Master supported us and taught us to stand on our own two feet,” he said as the joss paper burned. He took your hand in his and smiled. “So it'll be fine. We’ll be okay on our own. I'll make sure of it.”

At the time, you had found this very comforting. You didn’t think too much of it, as you had a bad habit of relying on Suo for your emotional stability. His master had raised him to be an emotionally intelligent person, so it had been fine, even though you had a track record of reckless decisions. He’d still exercised endless patience with you. He never once got angry with you, nor did he ever force you to do what he felt was the right thing. Instead, he gently redirected your self-damaging behaviours—not so different from the martial art that he practised.

He disapproved of the run-down and lonely conditions of your apartment, so he spent a great deal of time there and helped make it into a proper home. He didn't like how dangerous your job at the girls’ bar was, so he walked you to and from work every night until you never left without him. He worried when you started having sex with your customers, especially when you began having nervous breakdowns over it (you were, after all, still a teenager and really only interested in having romantic vanilla sex with Suo), so he staged an intervention with Nirei and Sakura. In this way, Suo convinced you that you were loved and protected and didn't need to do something you hated so much. They would get you out if you felt trapped. And you didn't feel trapped, per se, so you left on your own—but it was still only because of them. You promised them afterwards that you'd never do it again.

This was Suo’s brand of kindness as a teenager. He always taught people, guided them away from harm rather than steering them—a behaviour he’d mimicked from your master. Your master, in general, had defined all of Suo’s values and his way of living, which was honest and gentle and conscientious. It was one where he used his abilities to protect the weak and care for his friends. He even kept his spiteful and alarmingly violent tendencies under control, though sometimes he slipped when fighting genuine assholes. But he still tried. He tried because he strived to be as kind as his master—who represented everything that Suo wanted to be in his adult life.

Thus, the death of Suo’s master meant the death of his principles. It changed the kind of man that Suo wanted to be. You don't want to say that he became a worse person, but he absolutely became a worse person.

He especially became a worse person with you.

As it turned out, Suo’s idea of making sure that the two of you would be fine on your own was, well, not really fine. It wasn’t that he became cruel to you, per se. It was more that whenever he saw a problem with your behaviour, his approaches to redirecting it became—put as nicely as possible—heavy-handed.

After your master’s death, you got a job at a high end, yakuza-owned club. Two weeks later, Suo broke his promise to you and joined the yakuza. So I can stay close to you, he explained gently, wiping away your tears as you cried hysterically, but you're convinced to this day that he did it partly out of spite. So a few years later, when you started having sex with your customers again and he tried to stop you, you decided to spite him back. I need to stay on top of the rankings, you'd explained dispassionately. The mamasan said it's fine, and the manager doesn't care. He even thinks it's good for business.

Suo’s response was to simply become the owner of your club.

This move was very extreme, but also very effective. Any customer who so much as brushed against you on the premises was instantly thrown out, and the mamasan started watching you like a hawk to make sure you weren’t going to any love hotels after work. Douhan were off-limits. For the first time since your teens, you became completely celibate—not only because of your new workplace circumstances, but because you simply didn't want to find out what Suo would do if you got together with a man he despised (and he despised every man you dated).

His most absurd play was when he became concerned about your living conditions again. Your latest apartment was too plain, too small, and the area was too dangerous. It didn't even have a shower, and the other tenants behaved concerningly toward you when you went to the bathhouse at night. But the rent was cheap, and it was still an upgrade from your last place, so you shrugged it off when Suo suggested that you move. Even when someone tried to accost you at night, you were nonchalant about it. You kicked the shit out of them in a fight and continued your routine unbothered.

The next month, Suo bought a luxury penthouse and suggested you move in with him.

His offer (command) came with conditions. One of the bigger ones was that you'd let him accompany you out at night if you ever needed to run errands in dangerous places. Or—nevermind, actually. He should really just accompany you everywhere at night. Maybe during the day too. And—ah, there was no way you'd be going to work alone, nor coming back by yourself—you were now always to be driven by someone in his organisation, if he wasn't available himself. Rent was a point of contention, when you asked about it: you wanted to pay at market rate, and he insisted that there was no need to pay at all. He ended up proposing a highly discounted price, which would give you ample financial freedom, but questionable financial independence.

These were insane terms. You knew that if you agreed, you'd be setting yourself up for a life without autonomy. You also knew that these behaviours were all signs that Suo desperately needed therapy to process his master’s untimely death. Living with a man in constant grief, who refused to talk about his trauma unless he was making up a lie related to the nation of China, was probably not a good idea. Doubly so when this man was clearly paranoid about losing you, and triply so when he was a high-ranking member of a violent syndicate. Case in point—he was likely connected to the brutal accident that later befell the man who tried to assault you.

“I'm not sure what you're implying, but at least he didn't die,” Suo said cheerfully when you confronted him about it. Which really meant: At least I decided not to kill him. This was a flag bigger and redder than any other you've ever known, and you consider yourself an expert in red flags. You knew you should run in the other direction.

So naturally, you put your arms around him, tenderly said, I'm sorry I've been worrying you, and then you moved in the next day.

While Suo treats you with endless patience, you have personal limits to the patience that you exercise with him. Specifically, your patience with how he treats you.

You don't mind the lack of social freedom, nor the lack of personal freedom, nor the lack of freedom of movement. You also don't mind living with a man full of intractable trauma surrounding the death of every parental figure in his life; in fact, you'd rather be by his side than not, if he needs to cope with something so painful. And anyway, your friendship is otherwise unchanged if you ignore the heavy restrictions he's imposed on every facet of your life. So that's all fine.

But the celibate lifestyle that he's cornered you into? You simply aren't built for it. Holy shit, do you need to get laid.

Nearly two years without sex has brought you close to another nervous breakdown (there have been few better sources of entertainment or validation in your life), and worst of all, it has made your profound lust for Suo incredibly hard to ignore. Waking up every morning to him in a towel, his hair still wet from the shower and his broad silhouette exposed, tests the absolute limits of your self-control. The contours of his lean and muscled form are distracting enough; coupled with the vivid colours and lines of his irezumi, the sight of him becomes maddening. It is a horrible thing to be exposed to when you haven't gotten any dick nor strap in over a year. It gives you thoughts about him that are overtly sexual, which is bad, as you have materially consequential reasons for not wanting to fuck Suo.

Things with him must absolutely stay platonic. But with sexual frustration like yours, being platonic with him means that you need to get erotic with someone else. A boyfriend or girlfriend is out of the question; you don't want to be responsible for yet another brutal accident. So you instead decide to quit your job at his club and start working on Keisei Street. At least this way, you can start fucking your customers again.

It’s a perfect plan. Suo’s oyabun is very indulgent toward him, and everyone else in the family respects him too. He consequently has a tight grip on his organisation and the territory they control, despite his relatively young age. Not a single person is ever to touch Keisei Street—largely because Sakura is part of Roppo-Ichiza, and Suo is nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. Plus, many of his other fellow Furin alumni are in the gang as well. If Suo’s men ever started fucking with people on Keisei Street, it would not only have grave implications for gang relations—it would be personally upsetting for Suo. This means you can fuck all the Keisei Street customers you want, and not get a single one of them threatened or killed.

A pretty brilliant idea, if you do say so yourself.

Suo’s expression doesn't change when you break the news to him. He delicately places his teacup—custom-made from Yixing, just like the matching clay teapot—down on the mahogany tabletop, and he looks at you with a calm smile.

“Come again?”

“I'm quitting my job at Red Dragon,” you repeat. “I already gave the mamasan my resignation.”

“And she accepted it?” Suo asks, in a tone that is so carefully nonchalant that you know it means he is actually furious with her. “How interesting,” he muses. “What brought this on?”

“I've found a better paying opportunity on Keisei Street.”

“I'll give you a raise,” he says easily.

“A raise?” You cock a brow. “The pay is mostly commission-based at Red Dragon. You know that.”

“Then it would be unwise to leave. You have a loyal customer base at Red Dragon. All very rich, and”—his smile grows sharp—“very polite.”

Polite. An interesting word. It actually means: None of them will ever proposition or harass you because they know they'll be maimed if they do. An easy thought to use to your advantage.

“It's loyal but it's small. Everyone who's anyone in this part of town thinks that we’re married. Do you know how hard it is to pull new customers in when they're scared shitless of my yakuza husband? And anyway”—you frown, trying to look as pathetic as possible—“I'm lonely.”

Suo stares. He looks surprised, possibly because you absorb every minute of his free time with silly conversation, new restaurants, and skiing trips. (He likes snow, so you ask for these trips more for him to relax than anything else.) You also text him frequently on days he's working, and he very diligently replies, even if he's in the middle of something like a raid or a hit or brokering a massive deal. Suo still very strictly keeps to his rule of never touching his phone when in conversation with other people—unless he needs to text you.

So his suspicion is fair. Suo is very attentive and doesn't allow you much opportunity for loneliness. In turn, you’ve always been very happy spending time with him, even when it's only him.

“Lonely?” he repeats. “Are you, now?”

“Yes. You work so much,” you complain, which is not a lie, “and I don't have any friends to spend time with when you're gone.”

“You have friends from work.”

“No, I have competition at work. The hostesses are so cutthroat about rankings, they hate me. And each other.”

“You like Shuuhei and Hanzo,” he points out, referring to his men who most frequently chauffeur you.

“Yeah, they're friendly, and they're very funny. I like them, but I can't be their friend.” Suo stares at you, nonplussed, so you spell it out: “They're too scared of you to get close to me. What if it looks like they're trying to fuck the boss’ wife?”

“Hm…” Suo studies you, looking thoughtful. Perhaps for the first time, he's contemplating the consequences of restricting your freedoms and marking you as his. That is to say—maybe he's finally realising that you have no friends and no life.

The beads of his earrings glimmer as he tilts his head at you and frowns. Suo almost looks innocent with that confused face of his. “And how would working on Keisei Street help?” he asks.

“Because all our old friends are there!” you exclaim. “Sakura’s in Roppo-Ichiza now so he’ll definitely be coming by all the clubs. Tsubaki too. And Nirei and Kiryu visit them quite often—and even Tsugeura does sometimes, even though clubbing isn't one of his virtues.” You grab onto his arm, pull yourself close, and give him your most disarming, pleading expression. “Please, Suo?”

“Hm.” He strokes your cheek and looks at you fondly, in the way that one would do with an adorable and slightly annoying kitten. “I don’t think so. It’s not very safe there.”

He isn't wrong. Not only are you untouchable on his turf because of your association to him, Suo has also just crushed all the han-gure and petty criminals in his territory with brutal efficiency. His part of the red light district is, quite ironically, one of the safest places in the city, and certainly safer than Keisei Street.

But undeterred, you point out, “Shuuhei and Hanzo can still drive me there and back if you want. But I don't think it's necessary. Do you really think Sakura would let anything happen to me?”

This is the true brilliance of your plan: capitalising on the fact that Suo is as nearly as weird about Sakura as he is about you. He pauses as soon as you bring up the point, and you can practically see the gears turning. “Well, if it's him…”

“I even texted him about it. Look—here!” You whip out your phone, receipts ready. The corner of Suo's mouth lifts at your obviously rehearsed pitch. “He says he'd make sure I'm taken care of. And he says it'd be nice because he misses seeing us. Can you believe it—Sakura actually admitted that he misses us! Typed it with his own two hands and pressed send! I bet he was super embarrassed about it.”

“Huh. He even used a sticker. I've never seen him do that.” Suo smiles as he reads through the chat. He looks like his old self. You suddenly feel a little wistful, and also a lot bad. This started as a ploy to get laid, but it’s made you realise that you really do miss your friends—and Suo probably does too.

“If I worked on Keisei Street, then you would have plenty of reason to visit,” you point out, feeling somewhat tender.

“I guess that's true,” Suo says. Your heart aches a little bit at the look he gives you. It's a platonic ache, of course. Or at the very least, it isn't an erotic one. It doesn't really make you want to have sex with him anyway. But if you could lean forward and press your lips to his—platonically—then you definitely would.

Suo's civilian friendships are complicated by his double life. Quite unusually for yakuza, Suo’s syndicate insists on using pseudonyms and false histories to avoid anti-yakuza laws, on the off-chance that the police decide to do their jobs and actually enforce those laws someday. Lying for comedy is one of Suo’s greatest passions, so he was happy to manufacture an absurd backstory: his name is Yanzhao, and he learned kung fu in a Shaolin Temple before moving to Hong Kong and working for the triads. He wears the eyepatch because he lost his eye in an altercation with the cops, which he won. By the way, you're his criminally beautiful wife who he met in Macau. The two of you had to leave for Japan since he killed a police officer and now he's wanted by the governments of both China and Hong Kong. Also, he's a very devoted husband, so if anyone lays a hand on you, he’ll kill them too.

Somehow, everyone has bought into this story. Every criminal organisation in the red light district now fears a high-ranking yakuza known as Yanzhao, who is easily recognizable by his eyepatch and tassel earrings, and who is also homicidally obsessed with his beautiful wife.

In some ways, his infamy is convenient. No one wants to fuck with Suo, or with you by extension. But it also poses some issues: Suo has to keep a low profile in areas controlled by rival organisations, or else he might be ambushed. It also means he cannot easily go out and see his old friends. Even though he always masquerades as a civvie when he does, wearing stud earrings and a glass eye, it's still a little risky—especially since he likes to visit the strongest member of Roppo-Ichiza. While Roppo-Ichiza aren’t yakuza, they're still han-gure, so some of its more criminally entangled members might recognize him anyway.

But Sakura himself, bless him, has not put two and two together and figured out that Suo Hayato and Gui Yanzhao are the same person. This is partly because Suo lies very convincingly about his fictional career in the tea industry, but you think it's also because Sakura is so gullible it's endearing.

I use the glass eye now because it's better for networking, Suo had explained before Sakura could interrogate him too much, his voice too smooth and too quick for the other man to get in a word edgewise. My business partners find the eyepatch too silly. The tassel earrings too. By the way, would you like some Baimudan tea? I thought of you when I smelled it—I know you like fragrant things—so I picked some up for you on my last visit to China. I was there for business a couple of weeks ago.

He, of course, neglected to mention that said business involved meeting with the 14K triad.

Despite the enormity of Suo's omission (lie), Sakura is none the wiser whenever he meets with you. He thinks you're just a regular hostess who has freedom of movement and various other human rights, and that Suo’s just a regular guy who isn’t homicidally obsessed with you (a detail of Suo's fabricated life story that is unfortunately grounded in reality). All this to say, Sakura doesn't think twice about mentioning the fact that you have a routine of going to love hotels after work.

Suo, as always, remains calm in the face of unsettling information. He sets down his tea (just tea, without shochu), and politely says, “Pardon?” He's once again using the nonchalant kind of tone that suggests mortal danger.

“She's always going to love hotels after her shifts.” Sakura is frowning at you, pink but scowling. “I thought you said you were done with that stuff. You promised us you wouldn't do it anymore. Suo—are you really okay with this?”

On the one hand, you find it exceptionally sweet that Sakura, after all this time, remembers your promise and wishes to hold you to it. He was so worried about you when you started having those nervous breakdowns as a teenager, and he probably still is. On the other hand, you're shitting bricks at the fact that Suo is now aware of your activities. Because sure, he likely won't fuck with Keisei Street—but you realise, as he stares at you, that you can't be certain of this. After all, your fake yakuza husband has very real homicidal urges.

“Um,” you say. “It's just business.”

“Business,” Suo repeats.

“You don't have to do that stuff to keep good business,” Sakura grouses, unaware of Suo’s carefully suppressed rage. “You're real popular already.”

“Are you?” Suo asks, looking right at you.

“I mean—I told you the pay would be better, right?” you reply, voice oddly high and nervous, and this is when Sakura notices that something is wrong.

“Oh,” Sakura says, looking between the two of you. “Suo, you didn't know?”

“I didn't,” he says. “Actually, she told me specifically that she wasn't going to do that if she worked here.” He turns to you, still smiling. “That's the only reason why I allowed this at all, remember?”

A chill travels down your spine. You did, in fact, commit to a perpetually sexless lifestyle in order to be granted some semblance of freedom: Of course I won't sleep with any customers, you'd said. You know I don't really like doing that anyway. I promise I'll behave! I’ll be out of the clubs and right back home. Sakura said he’d make sure I’ll get to a cab safely after the bar closes and everything!

“Um,” you say again, but this time you have no follow-up.

“Wait,” Sakura demands, “what do you mean by ‘allowed her’? What, do you need to give her permission to work now or something?”

Suo smiles disarmingly at Sakura. Without missing a beat, he says, “Generally no. But we’re dating now, which complicates what she’s allowed to do with other men at her job.”

Sakura spits out his drink. You choke on your spit.

“I… um?!” Sakura’s staring at you, so you quickly recover. This is a mortifying lie, but it's better than Sakura finding out just how batshit Suo has become since his school days. “I thought we were going to keep that a secret, dear?”

“Ah, you're right. Sorry, I got too excited.” Suo gives you an endeared look before turning to Sakura. “We were going to keep it to ourselves unless we got serious about it. But we've been talking about marriage lately, so I thought it was fine to mention.”

“...”

You’re going to have an aneurysm. Why does every cover that Suo comes up with involve a marital relationship between the two of you?!

“Oh… holy shit.” Sakura’s expression is complicated—somehow, more complicated than yours, even though you’re the one getting cornered into a fake engagement. It's unbelievable how shy he still is about this kind of thing. Maybe it’s just particularly embarrassing since he's known you two for so long, you reason. Regardless, he remembers his social cues enough to say, “Congrats, guys. That's great. That's really great.”

Suo gazes fondly at you across the table. “We were thinking you could be our best man,” he adds, and you consider violently kicking his leg.

“O-oh. Uh, yeah! Sure! But what about Nirei?”

“Rather than having a maid of honour,” you say reflexively, used to lying through your teeth for Suo, “we’d like him to be our best man as well.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Thrown off guard, Sakura completely forgets about the love hotel business. He whips out his phone. “When were you thinking of having your wedding? I'll put it in my calendar.”

“I’m not sure.” Suo turns to you. “What were we thinking again, dear?”

You're going to die. You're going to die and it's a good thing because if you survive this embarrassment, your future will be bleak. As soon as Nirei finds out about this, he’ll want to start helping you with wedding planning, and then it would just be too awkward to cancel things. You’ll have to enter a fake marriage with Suo, which will be completely sexless, because even with a vow of everlasting love, there are still too many concrete and materially consequential reasons for not sleeping with him.

Condemning yourself to a lifetime of sexual frustration, you reply, “I think we were talking about a summer wedding.”

The drive home is awkward.

Hanzo and Shuuhei pick the two of you up. Suo mentioned that he wanted to talk to you and you alone, so they bring the Rolls Royce with the privacy suite. The two of them are entirely cut off from you thanks to the soundproofing, which traps you with Suo, who’s drinking a bottle of oolong tea as the two of you sit in complete silence. You think he's waiting for you to squirm—which you do.

You stay like that for five, agonising minutes before Suo finally says, “So you're sleeping with your customers.”

You swallow. “Yes.”

“For business?”

“Yes.”

“How much do you make?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“How much do you get paid for a single night of work, including gifts that your customers give you in exchange for sleeping with them?”

You're halfway through citing your earnings when you realise where he's going with this.

“So you make less than you did at Red Dragon,” Suo concludes, “and you're very smart with your money, so I know you know that, and you probably went into this knowing that you'd end up at a net loss.” He turns to you, gives you a look so sharp that it almost scares you. All made worse by his civilian disguise, which makes him feel unfamiliar. His glass eye shines strangely in the light, and his scar tissue is hidden by the makeup you helped apply. You wish he'd taken it all off before having this conversation.

“So,” he says, “what’s the real reason you changed jobs?”

Already knowing that he’ll figure you out sooner or later, you admit, “I just wanted to start having sex again.”

Suo blinks. “You… what?”

“I wanted to have sex with people,” you repeat. “I hadn't been touched for nearly two years, okay? I needed to get laid or else I'd go insane.” You cross your arms and look away, suddenly feeling petulant. “I'm sure you've noticed that our arrangement makes it impossible for me to see people.”

He doesn't answer, because of course he's noticed. He’d designed his house rules with precisely this intent. If he accompanies you everywhere you go, then you can't exactly go on dates, and you definitely can't meet people for sex. Not unless you feel like having Suo watch as some anonymous guy fucks you, and you don't. As hot as the idea is, it’s definitely not platonic behaviour, and it would probably trigger the whole homicidal obsession thing.

“Do you like it?” Suo asks, startling you. You look at him, confused.

“What?”

“Do you enjoy having sex with your customers?” he asks. His voice and gaze are even. Unrelenting. “Does it make you happy?”

You stare at him, a deer caught in headlights. You didn't expect Suo to actually care about whether you enjoyed it or not, and you didn't really expect to care yourself either. But truthfully, you hated it. You simply weren't feeling it with most of your customers and avoided intercourse with all but one. Then in that one case you let someone earnestly fuck you, it was a complete letdown. Possibly the worst sex you'd ever had. You spent the whole time watching the clock, wondering how long it would take, and it turned out that your hookup had remarkable stamina but absolutely no technique. To pass the time, and in an attempt to feel something, you tried to imagine it was someone else who was inside you. You cycled through a whole list of people, including all of your exes, a few of your past customers, every single member of BTS, and then—finally, inevitably—your long-time friend, roommate, and landlord.

To your complete horror, when you imagined that it was Suo who had you folded in half, his cock so deep inside you that you could feel it in your throat, you came so hard that you drenched the sheets.

You lay there afterward as your customer showered, alone in the bed. Normally you'd be getting dressed at that point, but you were too distracted. You kept thinking about what it would feel like to be held by Suo after having your guts rearranged by him—embraced tenderly like you know he would do with you, kissing him platonically like you've always wanted to do with him—and you realised that you didn’t actually want to have sex with anyone else. Despite all your life experience, sexual experience, and job experience—in that moment, you felt like a lonely nineteen year old girl who wanted nothing more than to have romantic, vanilla sex with her best friend, but who was instead having impersonal, disappointing sex with various salarymen.

This was a feeling so disgusting that you’ve decided to never tell anyone at any cost.

“Yeah, it's fine. I guess I like it.” You pretend to study your nails. “Sometimes I cum, which is all I really want.”

Suo keeps staring at you. “That’s it?” he asks, voice measured and careful. You raise a brow, playing dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“That's all you want? Just to get off?”

You gaze out the window, trying not to look at his lips.

“Yes, that's all.”

No matter how batshit Suo gets, he always maintains a certain kindness and maturity in how he handles conflict with you. It's a lesson that he learned from his master, which has perhaps been distorted over time, but remains important to him nevertheless.

If you do something upsetting, Suo is never forceful about getting you to act differently. Sure, he has fucked up ways of either getting you to behave or making you understand the consequences of your actions, and perhaps he has his manipulative moments. It was probably not a good thing that he coaxed you into indefinite house arrest, for instance. But he never threatens you, and he never hits you, and he never disrespects you. In fact, more than anything, he makes it a point to never let you feel like you aren't loved.

So when Suo abandons you after that conversation in the Rolls Royce, you lose your fucking mind.

Suo doesn’t come home in the days following that evening, without any note nor explanation. For the first time in years, he stops replying to your texts. Your immediate thought is that he's been gravely injured or perhaps even killed, which sends you into a panicked spiral. But every one of his men who's come by to check on you has implied otherwise—but I'm not allowed to tell you anything else, anesan, I’m sorry, they all say. And when you realise that Suo is actually fine and he's just playing a fucked up mind game with you, one that makes you feel distinctly unloved, you feel simultaneously heartbroken and apoplectic. The man is not allowed to corner you into de facto imprisonment and then just fucking leave. In fact, if he tries, you might imprison him.

You spend a few days sitting at home and crying over this, as well as torturing yourself by thinking about useless things (fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, et cetera). But eventually, you get tired of wallowing in self-inflicted misery, and you decide to just track your fake husband down. His men have been adamant about not letting you out of their sight—presumably so you don’t fuck any more of your customers, because Suo can be spiteful like that—so you have to be strategic about your plan to find him.

You decide to do it during work. You tap out in the middle of a shift, feigning illness, so nobody bats an eye when you put on the most shapeless hoodie you own and throw on a face mask. Your chauffeurs (handlers) don't notice as you sneak off—and for the first time in years, you walk through the red light district all alone.

It feels strange not to be protected, and even stranger not to be surveilled. You marvel at the unfamiliar experience of complete freedom, and at the possibility of being able to run off and disappear if you so wished. But you don't, of course. Not only do you care too deeply for Suo to abandon him, you're also pretty sure he has your driver’s licence and ID card locked up somewhere. At least you haven't been able to find them, and Suo was oddly evasive about it when you asked. (I haven't seen them, he'd said, but I don't think you’d need either of those things immediately, anyway, do you? And you nodded in response, because it was true that you liked being his passenger princess too much to care about your licence.)

So rather than bolting for the subway, you head straight to your old workplace. The gleaming doors of Red Dragon welcome you as you cross its threshold, and you're greeted immediately by the scent of luxury colognes and expensive cigars—both evoking a strange nostalgia in you. Even the click of your heels against the marble floor feels familiar. You realise that you've missed the place despite its cutthroat culture and its owner’s authoritarian control over you, which you suppose isn't surprising. This club was more or less your home for years and, thanks to said owner, was the safest place you've ever worked.

And being that you feel you've returned to your very safe home, you don't expect it when you're abruptly stopped by the bouncer.

“Can I help you?” he asks, his arm in your way. You don't recognize him, but you see the edges of his irezumi peeking out from the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt.

“Yeah, actually,” you say. “I'm looking for Gui Yanzhao. Is he here right now?”

The bouncer—or chinpira, you guess—bristles.

“You're looking for who?”

“Yanzhao?” you say impatiently. “Eyepatch, tassel earrings? Owner of the club? Probably your boss?”

The bouncer steps forward and reaches for something in his pocket, which makes you suddenly nervous, and also makes you realise that in a hoodie and a face mask, you ordinarily wouldn't be allowed in this club, let alone into the room of its yakuza owner. You're so used to VIP treatment here that you simply forgot.

You take a step back. “Um. I think there's been a misunderstanding.” You lower your face mask, which doesn't help as you've never met this man, and he must be new. You’ll need to complain to Suo about his onboarding process later, if you aren't killed before you can find him.

It turns out that this yakuza rookie has a knife in his pocket, which is not the worst thing he could have been carrying, but is also not the best. You're getting ready to run in the other direction when a more senior member of the gang comes by. He gives you a startled look, which then turns alarmed when he sees his younger brother’s knife.

“Anesan!” he yells hurriedly, and he snatches the chinpira’s knife straight from his hand. His lunge for the weapon turns into a hurried bow. He pulls his colleague—whose face has turned very white in a very short amount of time—into an even deeper one. They look on the verge of prostrating.

“Oh, Yamashita. Hi! Is this guy new?”

“Yes! My sincerest apologies for my younger brother’s idiocy, and his insolence in raising a weapon at you.” There's a sheen of sweat on the back of his neck. “If you would like him to atone, then he would be more than happy to—”

“No, that's fine. I'd really like him to keep all his fingers.” If you have to see a rookie cut off his pinkie today, you think you might actually change your mind on running away. Fuck your documents—Suo can keep them. Surely life without proof of identity can't be that hard. “By the way,” you say, trying to change the topic before Yamashita can suggest alternative acts of atonement, “have you seen my husband?”

Yamashita hesitates at your question, looks conflicted. You feel a little bad for him, and for every other gang member who needs to worry about accidentally offending Suo. You watch him sweat for a full ten seconds before he says, “You can follow me. But anesan, you might find it unpleasant upstairs. I can find someone to drive you home instead, if you'd like.”

You give him a funny look. This was your workplace for a very long time—you can’t think of many things that would happen here that might seriously upset you. “What, is he cheating on me?” you guess.

“What? No! Aniki would never!” Yamashita seems genuinely shocked at the suggestion. “He's crazy about you!”

“Then I'm sure he’ll be happy to see me,” you say, although given that he's ignored your texts for four days straight, you aren't so sure. Regardless, this seems to be good enough reasoning for Yamashita, and you’re taken to the top floor of Red Dragon. You ponder the whole time, on the elevator ride up, just what exactly Suo’s been up to that's made Yamashita this nervous about letting you see him.

Then the door opens, and you’re given your answer in the form of several body bags—all cleanly zipped up and conscientiously laid out in front of the elevators in a single, neat row. A sight that is significantly worse than a rookie cutting off his pinkie finger.

“Oh,” you say faintly. You try not to throw up. “So this is why he hasn't been home.”

“Exactly!” Yamashita replies, beaming. “See, anesan, I told you. He'd never cheat on you!”

Suo is in the lounge of the top floor, which has been cleared of both civilians and corpses for the night. He's sitting on one of the couches, leaning back with his one eye closed, as if asleep. The golden tassels of his earrings are draped over the expensive leather of his seat, intertwined with his dark hair. A cup of tea sits in front of him, steaming. Even this far away, you recognize it by the scent alone: jasmine, probably from Longjing. One of the most expensive blends he has, and that which he saves for days he’s stressed, though he never admits it when he is.

The sight of him would almost look tranquil, except for all the blood on his knuckles and his cuffs.

Off to the side, two of his younger brothers are chatting away. One is pouring cups of some doubtlessly expensive liquor, and the other is smoking a cigar. There's karaage on the table too. You recognize all of this as part of a ritual that some of the guys like to do after a hit or a shootout, not dissimilar to getting ramen or McDonald’s after going to a club.

You catch a bit of their conversation as you approach. One of them holds up the liquor bottle (Isojiman sake, you now recognise from your girls’ bar days, one of the rarer bottles costing around nine million yen) and asks Suo if he wants to join. “No thanks,” he says predictably, “I'm on a diet.” Then he turns and looks right at you—startling you, because you had thought you were being fairly quiet—and gives you a smile so genuine that it reminds you of his Furin days. “Would my beautiful wife like to drink for me, though?”

“No thanks,” you reply, “but your beautiful wife would like to talk to you.”

The two guys clear out to give you some privacy. You’re left alone with Suo, feeling awkward after several days of resenting him for no reason. (You’d rather die than go to therapy, but the whole fear of abandonment thing is probably something you should start addressing.) You don't even know where you want to sit. Eventually, you settle for placing yourself next to him, which is a decision that Suo quickly overturns by pulling you into his lap.

A flutter erupts in your stomach as he settles you on top of him. This physiological reaction is absurd, as not even ten minutes ago, you were trying not to throw up at the line of corpses in front of the elevator. It should also scare you somewhat that Suo’s hands—delicately adjusting your body—are still covered in blood. But truthfully, you can't help but be happy when he makes you feel so loved.

You take one of the napkins on the table and start wiping at his knuckles. Tenderly, in case they're bruised or skinned.

“You didn't call or come home,” you start.

“I thought it would be too dangerous.”

You frown, thinking of all the bodies outside. “Was this a rival organisation?”

“No. They were ours.” He sighs. “A succession conflict. There are a few people who don't like how I'll run things if I take over.”

You nod. Suo is very old-fashioned in his ideals about the yakuza, which you think is an imprint of his master’s influence, and something that appeals to his current ‘father’. He values chivalry. He likes protecting the weak. His filial devotion to his deceased master has now extended to every member of his yakuza family, especially his oyassan. He’s almost certainly the top candidate for taking over after the oyabun dies, but being that part of his old-fashioned principles excludes lucrative projects such as sex trafficking, you suppose it’s natural that some people in his organisation would prefer him dead rather than in charge.

“You’ve never ghosted me during violent conflicts before though,” you say. “I was worried that something happened to you. Or that you were upset with me.”

Suo’s hand drops to your waist, pulling you a little closer.

“They knew where we live. They tried to get to you, you know.” Your eyes widen in alarm, so he cups your face with a palm. His thumb glides along your cheek, and your response is almost Pavlovian: your heart rate immediately slows at the comfort of his touch. “It’s fine. They won't bother you ever again.” The cheerful smile returns. “And if anyone else ever does, I'll handle them too.”

Your heart swells. Enthusiastic pledges of murder are not a healthy sign of affection, but after so much loneliness—whether from the past several days, or the years before that, you aren't sure—you can't find it in yourself to be disturbed. You feel and sound painfully fond when you reply, “I know.”

Suo’s expression dims a little then. “I thought you'd like the space anyway.”

“What?” You give him a confused look. You have never once given him any indication that you want even an inch of space from him. You'd crawl into his ribcage if you could. “Why would you think that?”

“I thought you felt suffocated. You left my club just so you could have sex with other people.” You blink, lingering on his wording. Other people. He continues before you can ask about it, sighing, “You didn't even ask me who I'd give permission to touch you. You just went ahead and decided on your own.”

“...”

You try not to look disturbed. Suo’s apparent wish to control your sexual decisions is news to you, and somehow more alarming than the murder pledge. And even worse—you immediately clench in response to his words. The thought of Suo dictating who does and doesn't get to touch your cunt is… well, your mind is heading in a distinctly non-platonic direction.

Trying to ignore the heat in between your thighs (but at the same time encouraging it), you ask: “Who would you have been, um, okay with touching me?”

“Sakura or Nirei,” he says immediately. “Though only Sakura would be interested.”

“What.” You gape at him, all arousal forgotten. “Bullshit. He would never.”

“Yes, he would.” Suo tilts his head. “Haven't you noticed?”

“I don't think there's anything to notice? And also—he’s so shy, I don't think he'd ever agree even if he were interested!” You give him a bewildered look. “He couldn't even look at us when we said we were getting married, he was so embarrassed!”

“Embarrassed?” Suo stares at you, an amused glint in his eye. “Is that what you thought was going on?”

“Was there anything else?”

He studies you for a moment, clearly entertained but not explaining why. “Well—it’s fine,” he says. “It doesn't matter for now. Especially since he's helping us plan a wedding and all.”

You make a face. “I still can't believe that's the cover you went for.”

“Are you upset with it?” he asks smoothly, and you huff and say yes, but from his sly look, you think he knows it's a lie.

Naturally, you deflect before he can further interrogate you. “So, given that you are now my fiancé, am I no longer allowed to work on Keisei Street and see customers after my shifts?”

You don’t expect it when Suo says, “No, you can.”

You stare. “What?”

“You can keep seeing customers if you'd like. You said it makes you happy, so why would I stop you?” Suo’s brow furrows, his usual calm replaced with concern. “Do you really think I do the things I do to make you miserable?”

Guilt gnaws at your heart. He looks so disappointed. “No,” you tell him. “I just thought it'd make you miserable that I was sleeping with people without your permission.” It is partly why you hid it from him in the first place, after all. You don't like to see him sad—you’re still haunted by the deep grief he was in, after your master died—and also, his misery tends to bring bodily harm to other people these days.

Cognizant of both concerns, you ask, “You’re really okay with me sleeping with my customers? I can stop, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I still don't like it, but you can continue for now if you want.”

Suo’s mouth curls—not in a gentle way, as has been his expression since seeing you walk in, but in a way that sets off your flight or fight response.

“I'm sure we’ll reach a mutual understanding soon enough.”

END PART 1

thank you genuinely if you read all that because this is a deranged au and I still can't believe I wrote it sldfkjsldfkj. please do let me know if you enjoyed my yandere suo delusions. sorry there was no smut in this chapter. I promise there is a ton in the next one (probably too much... lol. it's a 10k chapter and literally half of those words are about orgasm denial sldfkjalskdjdf). it's completely written and I hope to edit and have it up by next week!

also here is glossary of terms and world building notes if you are interested!

tagging @kweenkatsuki-fics !! <3

[1111jenx]

WHY I LOVE LIBRA VENUS BOY?! HE IS FUCKING NICE BUT HE'S TOO NICE, PLS JUST SAY U'RE GOOD BCUZ U WANNA BE A COOL IMPRESSION BUT PLS DONT MAKE ME A SMILE, HE'S FLIRTY BIG SHIT. I'LL BE SCARLED IF HE KEEPING NICE FIGURE. - SAG VENUS WHO MORE SMILE THAN U LIBRA, KNOW?! OK SAD LIBRA ;)

BTW, SAINTJZENX I DONT MISS OUT THE TUMBLR APPLICATION BCUZ U, DONT BE A SKEPTICAL ASTROLOGY CUZ I'LL KEEP WAITING FOR YOUUUU, OH YES, IF THERE'S A NEW IDEAS FOR THE BLOG U CAN BE EXPLAINED TO UR FOLLOWERS, I'M SURE IT'LL BE SO MUCH LIT OMGGG. 😤💑🌹💖😍

hi beautiful!!

HAHAHAHAHA ITS LIBRA VENUS IS DISEASE🤣 I'm so serious except for Libra Mars/Rising I don't see myself dating men of any Libra placements💀 In a way, Leo Venus and Libra Venus are waaaay too similar!!

I like people who challenge me and gosh those Libra Venus are such pleasers😭 They're so charming and great with people it just comes so naturally for them HAHAHAH. I grew up with a lot of air placements so I'm almost unfazed with their flirtatious bs now,, but once a while I'd see some simpy fire venus or water venus falling bad for Libra Venus💀💀

Remember, Libra = Love, Venus is in its home sign hence it is HELLA happy and extra joyful, Taurus Venus is sensual and romantic but Libra Venus is playful and people smart, air is very intellectual so banters with them and back to back flirting is hella fun🤣 I recalled before I was with a Libra Venus guy and omg he was wayyyy too dreamy for me:D

I love you guys but y'all be so adorable I just don't feel secure enough bye💀 My Leo fixed as at the end of the day will always require some kind of stability and loyalty. But Libra Venus just wanna make love to 18 by One Direction all day and indulge in romance so I can't y'all.

But, Sag Venus x Libra Venus is HELLA SCARY BUT FUN. My close friend is a Libra Venus and he settled down for a Sag Venus, literally two hoes really come together for once huh. They understand one another really well and both ground one another, while giving enough space and fire into the relationship.

So ignore my skeptical ass, follow your heart baddie, go for that flighty ass Libra Venus and let your Sag Venus runs free, just don't indulge in the adrenaline and the thrill of competition too much💀 Live no regrets baby let it hurt you bad but it will also push you to grow <3 Proud of u.

HAHAHAH I LOVE THIS THO. Literally someone remind me to include this in my next observation please how come I never wrote this down!!! Sag x Libra is superior, the tears and hate sex also is but we don't talk abt that🥰

Alsoooo, thank you for ur kind words ILY GUYS. I'm so lazy these days but you guys are my biggest motivation on god🥲🥲

love,

saint jenx🖤

[liaisun]

I am begging u tell me more about the streamer bfs au

HELLO KICKS :D thank u 4 asking <3 i ended up scrolling back thru a gazillion messages but it was absolutely worth it. please allow me 2 present the babes

streamer bfs is a very self indulgent kandreil au, pure fluff absolutely 0 plot in here. they live in a Streamer Content House™ with the other foxes. kandrew r dating and neil is in a queer platonic relationship w them !! there's two parts of it right now, the first being just streaming shenanigans and interactions and then further actual relationship development with neil :]

SO BACKSTORY !! we have andrew: a complete weirdo but likeable abt it? just a chill dude doing his own thing while gaming. sometimes he codes too (here is a beloved fic with absolutely feral robot maker/youtuber!drew). his channel name is nyandrew, it never gets Big big but its stable enough that andrew can do it for fun. he has The Cat Ear Headphones which he never acknowledges the existence of but still wears every single stream. king knocked over his camera once and that 10 second clip became his channel trailer forevermore

there's always someone in the back of his streams just . sleeping?  it's kinda hard to see, no one knows who it is and andrew never addresses it so everyone just accepts it as another quirk of his lives... until one day andrew streams earlier than normal and halfway through the door creaks open and they hear "...babe? i couldn't-- oh. can i come in" cue absolute CHAOS within the chat bc WHO IS THIS !!!!

this person is the one and only kevin day. he's a college student but lives at the house and usually pops up in the other's vids. he was helping dan (who started this whole operation) with moving in. that day he hung out with the foxes, who convinced him to stay for their first day sleepover celebration and then he never left :]

neil is a faceless streamer and a generally funky dude . he started out with silent walkthroughs/speedruns of puzzle games, and now he plays whatever while keeping up the most bizarre and unrelated commentary. he also runs the foxes' podcast. his 'quiplash/jackbox with friends' vids (prompt game where everyone votes on their fav answer) are his most popular because he always has the most brutal and funny answers and he's in top 3 every single time

he only shows up on camera in the other's streams as a hand or legs but once a week MINIMUM the mysterious neil comes into andrew's room and says "release the roombas" and then u hear meowing (this is also where the channel trailer comes from)

kev's always sleeping on lives because andrew streams at 2am (insomnia things)... kev has night terrors and sleeps better with someone else in the room, but andrew can't really sleep with another person on the bed so this system works 4 them

there's this mythical clip of neil coming in and like collapsing on top of kevin sleeping on the floor. they say something 2 each other and neil laughs and then leaves AND IT HAS TORN THE INTERNET APART FOR YEARRSSSSS nyandrew's biggest career drama is nobody knows what's happening between them

andrew is also generally such a gremlin about answering questions u will never get a straight answer from this man ever . and on this topic he is the Worst. (referring 2 kevin) "who's ur friend?" he's not my friend.   "okay. what's the name of the man in the room with you?" very funny guys. that prank won't work there is no one behind me . "u said u were an only child" i never said that. i said i grew up an only child    and so on

people make compilations like "andrew minyard (nyandrew) holding his bf for 10 mins straight (ft. neil)" [in which neil also holds said bf and chat exploded] "andrew ignoring chat for 5 mins straight" "5 minutes of nyandrew lifting anything but weights (ft. his bf)"

there's also my personal fav "nyandrew (ñandrew) cursing in spanish for 2 mins straight" yes andrew speaks spanish. the clips are from a stream he did with nicky and when nicky tries 2 mention an embarrassing moment andrew says "ah tienes cojones... él tiene cojones sí mi gente" (you have some balls.. he's got balls right guys) and nicky goes quiet SO QUICK KSJSKDKF. andrew's not Family Friendly but he definitely doesn't curse in english/express himself like he will in spanish (2nd language emotional things<3) and chat is FLOORED

this vid at (6:50-7:50) is drunk kev professing his love then saying "okay let's go :]" trying 2 get them all 2 cuddle and andreil are like  . Kevin We Are On Live Right Now. + from 3:00-6:50 is them describing each fox in one word and trying 2 match answers but kevneil start arguing about their answers and andrew purposefully says different ones to rile them up

when neil actually sticks around in a live - he's wearing a hoodie with the strings taut so it covers his face mostly. kev's passed out on andrew, andreil r bantering and flirting. andrew's like "i gotta go to the bathroom" and he just. hoists kevin up and puts him in neil's lap instead and NONE OF THEM BLINK and kev just curls a hand in neil's hoodie, looks up at him and hes like *squints* "ur hiding?" in a sleepy tone and neil's like ":] u don't like the look?" when andrew comes back he brushes neil's neck and all 3 of them keep casually talking LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED and chat is literally unreadable. it is going insane

in regards 2 ur post about lap sitting these 3 are EXACTLY like this tiktok. *caresses head* "can u stay for one game..." like !!!!!!!!!!!! i am gone i am deceased... it is them. kevin is the main lap stealer between them (imagining kev's 6'1 self curling into a ball 2 fit in the chair with either of them. sparks joy) and he is super clingy while andreil have little gestures like neil slinging his legs over andrew's on the couch. he sits upside down and andrew steadies him when neil starts to slide off. neil tries to go for a run at like 5am after staying up all night and andrew catches him in the kitchen, all bleary after a live and shoves him into a beanbag. (if he sits on top of him to make him stay and they have an intense mental conversation with unwavering eye contact then nobody's around to prove it)

at the end of the day (night? morning? what is time to them) they're tired and the walls and online personas are down. they stay up talking or sitting in silence, all squished together on a mattress or sprawled around the tv or listening to low music in the car.

and lastly, first kiss things:

[ghostbeam]

hello queen. I wanna know about ur relationship w/ spike??!!!! How do I see it going in ur head?? What are some thinks about that u do together?

Does that make sense? Idk!! But I wanna hear u talk about ur self ship with him 🥺

THIS IS SO CUTE IM SO GIDDY OVER IT AHSHDJDHDJ like u want me to talk abt my selfship????? Okay🥺 (everyone look away I am being self indulgent)

It was probably a slow burn. We both have crazy abandonment issues so neither of us wanted to make the first move or dive into a relationship but we’re kinda in love so:/// it was inevitable.

I think Spike and I are a very chill couple. I’m not huge on pda and I don’t think Spike is either (though i think he likes it more than i do). I mean he’ll sling an arm around me while we walk together, lay his head on my shoulder on the couch, pull me into his lap if he’s feeling bold but if we’re on the bebop the pda is really kept to a minimum ajshdjdhd

As for things we do together I think Spike probably tries to make time for a date in wherever place we’re stuck in for a bounty. Spike’s traveled a lot so he knows a lot about things in different places that aren’t touristy. He has that cool guy persona but I think he’s really a romantic at heart and wants to take me out whenever he can!!

He’s a huge dork who’s always trying to impress me somehow with his fighting, with his aim, he just likes to show off. He mostly just makes an ass of himself but I think it’s cute idc🥰🥰🥰

Our fav activities include: finding a bar and swindling men out of their money playing pool (which spike taught me everything I know), making out in his lap on the redtail, watching old black and white earth films while lying in bed together, slow dancing to billie holiday, going out to some secluded field somewhere for shooting practice (which is just an excuse for him to wrap his arms around me and fix my form)

This is EMBARRASSING I could go on and on tbh he is my ultimate boyfriend my number one the only man this was fun to talk about thanks for asking bby<3333