#i think about them all the time your honor

[obeymeluv]

In Your Defense [PT 1 - Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw]

You decide to work at Sam's for Valentine's Day and your crush just happens to hear a customer hitting on you. If they get arrested, can you be their alibi? AKA: This person has a death wish and you find out your crush might be jealous?

Note: Each one is random and some will be longer than others. If I made everyone the same length this thing would be MASSIVE and I would probably die.

Not proofread because of the length. Trying to get everyone done today. It's my last day off for a few.

Whatever part Ortho is in will be platonic, obvs.

Happy V-day!

Riddle likes to think he's made great strides not being angry but hearing some utterly disgusting joke about 'how much do you cost?' sends him like nothing else ever has. This guy is tall and so unimpressive, so plain, so average that Riddle can't really recall him at all. Maybe that's just the absolute fury blurring his vision. He knows he's not breathing but his chest isn't burning near as much as his face; the heat is spreading quick and he can feel it in his cheeks and neck. Temples pounding, his vaguely aware of the growl bubbling in his chest as it threatens to slip past his clenched teeth.

Ace calls it his teapot snarl.

Before Riddle knows it, he's flown off the handle and he's going off on a rant. The whole shop is quiet, people physically backing away as he just methodically unravels everything about this cretin from outfit, posture, presence, delivery, unoriginality--everything. Honestly, he doesn't even remember everything he said. The redhead doesn't even tune back into the sound of his own voice until he ends the onslaught with, "You've just paid twenty thaumarks to embarrass yourself but that pales in comparison to the fact that you thought you had a chance with them. You should be ashamed!"

The man slinks away, sad little bag dragging off the counter.

Whispers and giggles diffuse throughout the shop. He ignores the looks that come his way, using the time to come back to himself. Riddle fixes his cute casual clothes, content with the fact you picked them out together. He catches sight of the matching rose clips on your outfit and in you hair and smiles softly. "A strawberry cookie and a cake pop, please." he clears his throat, fishing his wallet out of his pocket.

Sam had an assortment of sweets and he was going to capitalize on strawberry's popularity while he could. He saw you root through the display case, carefully considering the designs even though they were all supposed to taste the same (allegedly).

"Sure thing. Your total is 12 thaumarks. Thanks for stopping by Sam's Mystery Shop! Happy Valentine's Day!"

He hands you the thaumarks as you take the time to slide the I LOVE YOU cookie in his bag.

----

Deuce is an honors student! He is a good boy that's going to make his mother proud!

HE IS SO GOING TO PUNCH THIS MOTHERFUCKER IN THIS FACE!

His shoulders tense, fist clenching at his side. "Why, you think they're cheap? Something to be bought? What an insult!" his head snaps up as he stares down the slightly taller boy. Deuce's teal eyes turn a dark turquoise; the giddy glint of seeing you and chocolate eggs in one place turns to something sharp and steely. He hands the chocolate eggs to Ace, turning right back around to stare the creep down. Old habits die hard; he's grinding a fist into his hand.

"Aren't you the guy always complaining about limited time sales being unfair? Not my problem you missed the window." the guy scoffs, leaning back against the cashier counter. "Anyways," the guy tilts his head back and starts talking to you.

You look uncomfortable and angry that you can't handle this yourself. Professionalism and all.

"You may have caught the window but I'm about to show you the door." Deuce draws up on him with a quickness people have never seen. Not many people know about all the fights he used to get into. Gripping the guy's hair almost to the point of pulling it out, steering him like a panicked bull, Deuce all but chucks him out the front door of the shop. He turns around to walk back inside and buy his chocolate eggs but that spine-tingling feeling of someone fixing to take a cheap shot makes him pivot and nail the guy with a solid kick to the chest. The guy falls back on his butt, breath hitching.

Deuce scoffs and wipes his shoes on the step before going into the shop. The door is almost closed behind him when he hears a strained grunt. He's been in enough fights to know the guy is off the ground and making one last attempt to catch him from the back. More than done with this and just wanting his damn eggs and to say hi to you in all your festive lace, he shoulder checks the door like he's trying to shove Jack out of the lunch line (which he would NEVER, EVER DO).

The guy falls with a satisfying thud and Deuce tries his best to relax his face as he resumes his place in line. It's red from aggravation and the fact he's fishing for his thaumarks because he's forgotten what pocket he put it in. "Sorry about that," he tries to uncrumple the thaumarks a little before handing them to you. "And the face. My face. Not your face! Your face is fine! Like, you're not ugly! I just, uh--"

"Take the change, Deuce-y!" Ace is standing behind him, guiding his nervous body like a puppet. He makes Deuce grab the change and turns him around, shoving him away from the counter before he can make it any worse. "Now help me move this guy's body! He's out cold!"

---

Ace can only laugh when he hears that line. First of all, it's weak. Secondly, the dude must not have any faith in his game if the delivery depends on you being captive behind the counter. During work hours. With an obligation to be forward facing and listening to whatever he says.

"Why? You worried about your budget, buddy?" Ace laughs, hands laced together behind his head.

The guy snaps up, stick-straight. "N-No! I was just--" his face is blooming pink.

"People aren't products, bro. There's no discounts." Ace shakes his head.

"W-What I meant was, I want to take you on a date!" the guy turns back to you and flashes a big smile. All of Ace's pouty mutters fall on deaf ears. Not because he's being quiet, but because the guy is straight up ignoring him. He's not sure where the idea comes from--he'll blame it on an itchy hand--but he sneaks a couple of small candies in the guy's pocket. Sam's familiar top hat bobs into view, snaking around the shelves.

"DON'T FORGET TO PAY FOR THE STUFF IN YOUR POCKETS!" Ace felt confident in his sleight of hand tricks. It wouldn't be the first time he tricked NRC students. It's actually really easy to do. That works in his favor because if everyone can't get their story straight or agree on what they saw, he's a free man.

Sam materializes at the edge of the aisles and seems to stare into the boy's soul. "Young man, please step aside."

Ace looks like the cat that ate the canary as he moseys up to the counter and slaps the box of cherry cordials down. He buys a cherry sucker at the last second, not seeing it at first. "Thanks, Sweets!" Ace winks at you as he strolls out with the bag.

Sam nearly scares him out of his skin, leaning against the wood just outside the door. Ace finally feels the tug of shadows on his feet. "Speaking of sweets," Ace flinches and hides his ear with his blazer, groaning as Sam hooks an arm around his neck and pulls him into his chest sternly. "I understand your frustration, Little Imp. Young love is adorable in all it's wiles! But mark my words, Little Imp: if you lie about wrongdoings in my shop again, you will not come back. Clear?"

"Yes sir." Ace gulps.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Little Imp."

---

Trey isn't really surprised to hear what he just did. 'Boys will be boys', as the saying goes. Frankly, he's disappointed. He's heard smarter things come out of his little brother and sister.

He adjusts his glasses, mentally trying to relax the knot between his eyebrows.

Should he say something? Of course he wants to. It's you! He's been on the other side of the counter plenty of times and has had vivid daydreams of sticking a customer in a stand mixer. But, then again, he has a reputation to uphold and anything he does could reflect back on Riddle.

And send Riddle into a fit, giving him something else to handle.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized he'd have the element of surprise. People--especially men--don't cook enough to know how much arm strength it takes to lift twenty pound bags of flour on the regular. Or the stamina it takes to walk said bags from Sam's shop to Heartslabyul. Even the small five-pound bag of sugar in his basket would suffice as a weapon; the sugar was packed enough to hit like a brick if he lobbed it.

Trey's running the options through his head, almost settling on just saying 'how much for you to stop?' when he sees the end of a sucker rolling between the guy's teeth. Too easy, Trey pushes his glasses up on his nose, hand hiding his smile and the quiet incantation for "Paint the Roses".

All of a sudden the guy is gagging and running for the door. You and everyone else are wondering what the hell just happened. He doesn't come back in. One brave soul suggested he had a really bad gag reflex and the sucker did him in. Only Trey knows it was a mix of sour milk and the pungent soy sauce tart nightmare he tricked Riddle into making once.

"Just this, please. Oh! And what Sam had on hold for me." Trey hands you the sugar, relishing in the brush of your hands.

"Candied violets and a bag of sugar. Twenty thaumarks, please."

"Thanks." Trey smiles at you, laying the sugar flat so his delicate, delectable candied violets don't get crushed.

"Thank you." you smile brightly, handing him the change.

----

Cater wants to gag. Normally Valentine's confessions are cute and IN THE RIGHT SETTING pickup lines are amazing. This? This is a tragedy. Mostly because there is ZERO chemistry and you look #uncomfortable.

He's big on consent since he's always looking for collabs and people to pose with on Magicam so maybe that's why this scene bothers him. Aside from the fact that you're out of this guy's league, obviously. Like, it's really an insult to your time.

'How much do you cost?' Really? You're #priceless.

His brows furrow, lips thinning as he wonders what to do. He plays with the idea of Split Card and creating a small crowd of copies to boo and jeer the guy but the store would be even more packed than it already is. Cater's green eyes twinkle as it hits him. Turning his phone longways, he zooms in on the guy and tells him to keep going because he's live on Magicam. "Don't worry! I've already got all the V-day tags on there! Everyone will see it!"

He's friends with practically everyone at NRC so this guy will be seen by everyone.

Something sick and unfriendly and satisfied swirls in him as the guy's face pales in real time. If he zooms in a little, he can get the beads of sweat in there. "I'll, uh--another time, okay?" the guy darts off and abandons his handful of candy at the register.

"Haul coming later! 'K, bye!" Cater sends a peace sign to the camera, smiling at his own face. He swipes the little chocolates into his basket nonchalantly. He's not even the biggest sweets person but those are his now!

"Gonna have a spicy Valentine's Day, huh?" you ring up the cups of spicy ramen.

"You know it!" he laughs.

"I get it. You have to balance out how sweet you are." you smirk up at him. "Twenty-four thaumarks, please."

#in love. #kiddingnotkidding. #sendhelp. #downbad.

----

Leona doesn't even know why he bothered to show up to Sam's. He could just send Ruggie to get whatever he wanted. The variety of jerky was somewhat tempting but he could just as easily take the bus and get a proper meal off campus. And yet, he stood there with a gloved hand in his pocket, tail swishing back and forth in mild agitation. His green eyes sweep over the winding line until they land on you at the front.

His cheeks warm a little and he scoffs at himself, pretending to pick through the hanging strips of sunflower seeds as the line moves. Every step gets him closer to this soft, powdery scent with just a hint of sweetness. He starts to blame it on all the chocolate and candy and sugary shit exploding out of every possible spot in the store but there's this unmistakable undertone of skin.

Your skin.

He's only caught the scent a million times while hiding from people in the Botanical Gardens. Or when he's forced to attend class, catching a hint of you in the halls.

Leona's not sure why he cares anything about you because you're not magical. You're not interesting.

You shouldn't be, but you are.

You're literally the only person he's ever met from another world. You have no context for the Sunset Savanna or the hierarchy of it. To you, everyone is impressive. He can be something to you.

Why does that matter? He doesn't even know. That's what he tells himself, anyways. You say you have no magic but Leona thinks you can read minds. The look you always give him isn't a pitying one, but a curious one that seeks to dissect him and force him to face everything he keeps shoved deep down inside himself.

Part of him is waiting for the day you pull the right thread and he comes undone in the way he knows he need but can't find the strength for. Somewhere in that knotted mess is his true feelings for you. The stuff he can't admit.

You stand admirably on your own two feet, roughing it out like Ruggie, but you're so far from the intimidating women of the Sunset Savanna. You're approachable and soft; you're built like prey but you have the quick thinking of a predator.

Something in your demeanor changes--your hands pause and flutter nervously--and he's on alert. He's careful to relax his grip lest he crush the box of protein bars for Jack. His ears sling forward and his eyes narrow as he catches that half-baked flirting attempt. Leona doesn't even bother to hide the sneer twisting his face.

Just the thought of you with that hopeful schmuck is nauseating.

Suddenly the scent of all the males around you is overwhelming. Disgusting.

"If you have to ask about the price, you can't afford it. Haven't ya ever heard that before?" Leona 'hmphs' triumphantly, one hand on his hip as he bends down slightly to stare the chump in the face. "Askin' about the price is tacky."

"Wh-what was my total again?"

All Leona had to do was stare at the back of the human's neck. Humans, much like prey animals, grew really squirmy when a predator stared at them too long. Or encroached on their space, much like he was doing. It was for the hell of it at this point.

Leona made a mental note of the guy's face as he scampered off like a terrified cub and looked forward to the day he could send a stray spelldrive disk in his direction.

"Hey Herbivore," Leona plunked the basket down unceremoniously.

"Hey Leona," you looked down at the random stuff in his basket, trying not to smile at what just happened. Something warm and--dare he say it?--proud welled up in his chest when he realized you were happy about him scaring the guy off.

The heart-shaped stickers he kept finding on everything when he got back to Savanaclaw helped, too.

----

Ruggie lived for the holiday specials at Sam's. He was a bit put out that he wasn't picked to staff the Valentine's shift but the in-store discounts were a small consolation. It'd be better if he could stack them with an employee discount but he'd take what he could get! His mouth started watering as soon as he entered, sniffing out deliciously fluffy donuts.

Hopefully people would be distracted with the lollypops and chocolates and leave his donuts alone!

He choked down the occasional nervous whine when people gravitated too close to the donut display, distracting himself with the decor and wondering what would be most profitable to flip. His eyes began to wander to the people in front of him; Ruggie tsk'd at how casual and unguarded they were. Ripe for the picking, he looked at their wallets and fistfuls of thaumarks just out in the open.

If he wasn't worried about being banned from Sam's and losing some gigs he'd--

"How much do you cost?"

EXCUSE ME?! Ruggie freezes, eyes going wide and ears twitching when he hears that. The dude said that and LIVED?

Oh, right. You're not a Savanna girl. The girls back home would beat him up and make him pay them to stop. Or just smack the shit out of him hard enough to put him in a coma. Maybe break his jaw so he can't drop anymore awful lines.

Women are to be respected! Not treated like something you can purchase!

Given that you weren't a Savanna girl and were bound by the rules of 'I'm currently on the clock', Ruggie took things into his own hands. You could just treat him later!

"Laugh with Me!" Ruggie hisses, backing into the closest display. It was a little bump to him but far more to the guy up front. He waved his arm around, skimming the bags of gummy candies while the guy at the register knocked down a whole tower of balloons on a stick. Bending over just enough to line the guy's head up with the counter, Ruggie lunges forward.

WOMP!

Oh it was so satisfying. The guy is hopelessly, helplessly stunned. He gathers his bearings and Ruggie slides his foot out; the guy loses his footing and slams into the counter again.

Only two times before he gives up? Kind of weak-willed, Ruggie thinks with a little smirk as he side-steps the disoriented guy and waits patiently to check out. Sam tends to him while you get the donuts he's been craving.

They'll taste even better because they smell like you. Happy Valentine's Day to him!

-----

Jack is usually very stoic but a lot of people mistake his stoic observation for irritation. He would blame it on his intimidating physique but he's not sorry and takes great pride in his appearance. He's a beastman--a Howl!--he's supposed to be intimidating! Intimidating appearance aside, Jack is also a very helpful soul.

A good boy, if you will.

The only reason he's in Sam's is on Ruggie's behalf. He was tasked with picking up a few things and was more than happy to help out his senior. They were from the same dorm, after all! Practically a pack! You have to help your pack!

He's not really bothered by the amount of people, more focused on keeping his tail out of people's way and making sure he doesn't knock anything over. All at once, the atmosphere changes a little. There's a hint of sour in the air and a noticeable hike in someone's pulse.

It's your pulse. You look...distressed? Why are you distressed? Where is the threat?

Whatever it was, he missed it and he's cursing himself.

His ears swing forward as he catches bits and pieces of conversations. Some people are complaining the guy is taking too long, other people are laughing at his crappy pickup line. Some people are wondering if it's going to work.

This was a weak display if he ever saw one. The guy didn't even look confident in himself! All of your body language has now firmed up into rejection but the guy's not getting the hint. He's trying the 'oh, c'mon!' thing his siblings do when they want to play.

You don't know it, but you've been feeding Jack when he trots by in wolf form. He likes to finish off his morning jogs in wolf form to really stretch his joints and obliques. It was supposed to be a one-off thing, him following the tantalizing aroma of food to your door. Your cooking is fantastic and while you don't know that you're a pack mate, you're a pack mate!

You're just a pack mate who feeds him and gives him occasional pets. And these to die for scratches that he'd kill to feel with his real skin instead of fur. Any touch would be fine, really. Not that you'd ever know.

Jack doesn't even know he's growling until people start moving out of his way. The growl crescendos as he walks towards the guy. Tail bristling, Jack opens his mouth to show off sharp canines. "Get lost! They're not interested in you! They're just trying to work!"

As expected, the guy tucks tail and runs. Jack snorts, licking his lips that have suddenly become dry. His ears don't know what to do, caught between catching all the murmurs behind him and wanting to press down in embarrassment.

It's quiet but he hears it. "Thank you, Jack."

"Don't mention it," he crosses his arms, looking everywhere but you as you scan his items. He was avoiding looking at you directly but he notices you slip a few extra beef sticks into his bag. He blushes.

Yeah, don't mention that either.

[maiyz]

megumi valentines special

w.c 0.6k masterlist

in all honestly, yn was afraid of fushiguro. the first time she saw him was when she was hiding from student council, she turned the corner to find him on a pile of bodies. not the most welcoming sight.

their relationship remained like that. yn was afraid of fushiguro, fushiguro probably didnt know that she existed. sure he saw her in the hallways from time to time. but those prolonged gazes glances didnt compare to the amount of times yn nearly tripped trying to silently run away.

when she entered high school she assumed that fushiguro would stop, and for the most part, he did. sure he was aggravated by a couple of students every now and then, but they had it coming honestly.

fushiguro attended every class and was on every a honor roll. he got nearly every girls attention, yn was not an exception. he was the standard of beauty, who could blame her.

although, out of all the girls in the school, yn was just average. if in fushiguros standards, probably below average. so she swallowed her feelings, if someone were to ask her who she liked. “no one.” she would say avoiding their gaze.

valentines was coming up soon, yn wonders if she would get any chocolates. hopefully romantic chocolates. maybe a boy in her class. maybe megumi fushiguro

eventually valentines rolls around and not a single chocolate left in her desk. thats fine, she wasnt betting on getting any anyways.

while eating lunch she heard girls talking about fushiguro possibly having chocolates.

‘wow. what a lucky girl.’ she thinks to herself.

nearly every girl (and boy) in the school was trying to figure out who it was for. he refused to say for his own reasons.

the last bell rings and school is dismissed for the day. yn walks home in the cold weather wishing she would’ve worn stockings for brought another jacket.

she hears speed walking behind her but doesnt bother to look back, she knows that whoevers behind her definitely isnt trying to interact with her.

yn feels a tap on her shoulder and shivers run down her back, their hands were cold. she turns around to find fushiguro, holding a small bag of chocolates.

“i got these for you for helping me.”

“help you with what?”

he shoves the bag further in your hands, looking to the side blushing.

“take them.”

fushiguro sprints off without looking back. “hey wait what was that for!” yn shouts.

after that she started noticing fushiguros lingering stares glares, did she do something wrong?

she assumed that fushiguro messed up and gave it to the erong person, or it was just gratitude chocolate. although, yn has barely spoken to fushiguro let alone done him a favor. she wonders who he really wanted to give them to. maybe that popular girl in his class. what was her name again?

a couple weeks after that chocolate incident, in p.e she overheard fushiguro talking with his only friend. “do you really think shes not getting my hints?”

“i wouldnt get them either.” (ita)

“i thought they were obvious” (fushi)

you quietly walk faster on the track. pretending you cant see fushiguro blushing and that other kid pointing with his mouth covered.

after abiut 1 minute you hear someone sprinting behind you. you think nothing of the footsteps until they start slowing down once they get within a couple feet across from you.

fushiguro looks to the his right, where youre standing. you divert you eyes. he takes inching closer to you.

“do you get it” (fushi)

you look at him in confusion. “hm?”

“get it?” (fushi)

“get what?”

…

“do you like me?” (fushi)

…

a/n: pls dont hate me because im bad at writing im sorryyy sorry 😞

[greensagephase]

Getting Freaky with Miguel Includes... [spelling Valentine's]

warning: nsfw, so minors DNI, female reader

V - Velvet ropes/handcuffs

Miguel thinks you look so pretty when you're tied up for him 🎀 and at his mercy, so he'll tie your wrists. You like to tie him, too, sometimes for some activities.

A - Ass spanking

Miguel is an ass [and thighs] man [don't ask me how I know], so he loves spanking you. It's not necessarily harsh spanks, unless you're into that, but he simply enjoys watching the way your rear moves after he delivers the spanks. And of course, the cute moans and whines you make are another reason he enjoys it.

L - Lube, lots of it

He has plans which he cannot tell you about right now because the haters will try to sabotage him -- He wants to take a trip to poundtown with you, and since Valentine's is on a Friday this year, he decides a weekend trip there is just and necessary, so lube is a must.😌

E - Erotic massaging

You both love to massage each other's sensitive spots to get all riled up before the deed, focusing on stimulation and pressure on those spots. Other important factors: ambiance music [hehe]. Oils are a must, obviously, and Miguel really enjoys this part. He loves watching you grow more and more needy and aroused as he massages the oils onto your skin, and watches you in awe at how glowy and pretty your skin looks.

N - Nipple play

Miguel delivers light caresses, circular motions, gentle sucking and biting, licking, pinching, and rolling to your nipples, adding on to the teasing. No hard play unless you like that.

T - Thighs

As stated, Miguel is also a thighs man. He loves thick thighs and will worship yours like you're a goddess. He'll mark them with love bites and hickeys! His home is between them, and you better accept that.

An extra on thighs, Miguel loves having you ride his. 🤭 He loves how desperate you get for friction, so he likes to tease you by stopping your movements by grabbing you from the hips. He later helps you by guiding you, whispering how pretty you look leaving a mess on his skin.

I - Intercourse

The p in v, of course! After roleplay, he will ravish your kitty until he has you chanting his name like it's the only word you know. Since this will be a weekend situation, he'll switch it up between rough, slow, or gentle -- whatever you're both feeling in the moment and with your consent always. You'll also switch it up with positions from missionary to doggy style to mating press for, um, research purposes.

N - Nutting inside

Miguel will nut inside you every time. He's not wasting a single drop. 😌You both love the feeling of him finishing inside [breeding kink... *sighs*😔🙏🏼]. The sight of his hot cum and your juices combined dripping out of your pussy is always so hot and satisfying for you both. If going multiple times in one session, he'll use it as lube for sure and push it back inside with his tip [clawing at the walls of my enclosure rn; i'm ovulating, sorry].

E - Edging

You equally love edging each other until you have the other whining and whimpering for release. Miguel will finger you, use toys, or use his cock to edge you to that moment before climaxing only to stop with a teasing smirk while he hears your pleas for release. In return, you play with his cock and balls with your hands and/or mouth to edge him on. You enjoy doing this when he's all tied up, especially.

S - Spooning in Aftercare

To add some fluff to this spice, spooning. Miguel always spoons you after each session. Of course, this is after he helps you clean up and makes sure you're all comfortable. He wraps his body around yours to make you feel loved and safe, whispering sweet things into your ear, like how well you took him, how beautiful you look, and how much he loves you.🥹

Oh, and that he hopes a November baby will be part of your lives in the upcoming future 🤭

♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡_♡

Thought of this literally today. I'm ovulating, your honor. 😔 Thank you for reading!

Alondra❤️

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GALE DEKARIOS *  assorted dialogue from baldur's gate 3

is that... is that truly you? i thought i might never see you again.

i love you, more than i've ever loved anyone. and you've proven your love for me in more ways than even the greatest mathematicians would dare to count.

you licked a dead spider. dead spider. you licked it. that is something that happened.

i think we need to get you some air and perhaps have a long talk about unresolved childhood issues.

stop licking the damn thing!

i see the art of eloquence is alive and well.

i'm awed, impressed, and a little bit scared of you right now.

nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.

i've never wanted to kiss you more than i do now.

right now, i need nothing more than a kiss.

tell me you feel the same way. tell me you want what i want. please.

i'll always have you.

you really would prefer me as i am?

do you doubt me?

you put the stars to shame.

let's sit here another while - i want to drink you in.

there you are.

you led me down this path.

i don't know myself anymore.

all this... it's not who i am. around you, i'm not who i want to be.

you really are absolutely heartless, aren't you?

i was hoping you'd spare me a moment.

this seems as good a time as any for me to stop babbling on.

i think you're rather wonderful. and that's not a word i waste on anyone unworthy of it.

go. enjoy your evening.

i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities.

i promise we'll make it work, if you'll have me.

what are you doing? stand back! now!

i thought i meant more to you than a sacrificial lamb. clearly i was mistaken.

you've brought me right where i need to be. i have no right to ask more of you.

you're plotting something, aren't you?

i go where you go.

i'm telling you, this is a mistake.

don't worry too much. a handful of powerful spells go a long way.

hold on! it's not too late to settle this without bloodshed.

mercy is not your strong suit, is it?

well... so much for my previous sentiment.

the choice is yours. there's really no good decision to be made here.

i'll be delighted to see you try... from a safe distance.

how generous of you.

there has to be a way to stop this thing!

i have no desire to end your life. you know that.

i see the glint in your eyes. you've a strategy in mind. the same one as me, i'd wager.

well, now that we know what it is, i suggest we leave it well alone.

better be careful around here.

i'll miss you, friend. your companionship has been quite the education.

i won't lie. i miss our group.

don't worry, i'll handle matters from here.

i'm ready. are you?

we must discuss it privately.

have you lost your wits? you must not do this!

we can't afford to let that happen.

they say madness and genius are separated by but a hair's breadth. perhaps the same is true of madness and stupidity.

you make me sound like some preening peacock.

i'm taking notes. making observations.

you're adorable even when you're teasing me.

you know what, i think i've clearly had far too much wine. and you've had nowhere near enough.

don't worry about me. i'm quite content to enjoy the party from here.

don't let me drag you away.

that, my friend, must remain a secret.

i do hope you know what you're doing.

might be the wine talking.

why am i doing this?

i'm sorry it had to come to this.

i'm going to bed. perhaps this was all a mistake.

careful. you don't know what i'm about to ask.

kill me, and i'll destroy the city anyway.

i want it to be perfect.

stay with me a while, will you?

i'm in love with you.

i'm many things, but coy's not one of them.

listen, i need to speak to you.

i might need you to be more specific.

i regret many things in life.

we all have our burdens, one way or the other.

i am as honored as i am enamored.

i am not the only one who longs for you... yet you chose me.

my time is yours. what do you need?

tell me, what can i do for you?

you need me?

you look... comfortable.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Watching the politics tag fill up with exhausted liberals talking about how they're too drained to keep resisting and no one should blame them for that and like. Yeah, you're right this sucks and you shouldn't be forced to do it to be treated as human and you shouldn't need to be able to be on and in activist mode all the time either and ALSO

I've been doing this since 2002. My mother did this from 1981-2015. My auntie marched in Alabama during civil rights and my childhood minister has been in resistence since the Vietnam war and has shown no signs of stopping as she collects civil disobedience arrests across all 50 states like badges of honor.

And you all are burnt out after 8 yrs of some of the biggest (and therefore LEAST DEMANDING ON YALL PERSONALLY) movements we've ssen in decades because you feel too poor and tired???????

My mama would go around to every grocery store she had friends working at in the valley and collect all the food they were gonna toss, then host educational salons where she fed everyone in the neighborhood and performed innoculation work. She was a single mom raising a deeply disabled child ALONE on a salary half that of her male coworkers you think she had money? You think she had TIME????? NO!

If you are tired now, I'm sorry to be harsh, but it is BECAUSE YOU DID NOT LISTEN when you were told you needed to settle in for the long haul. You DID NOT LISTEN when organizers shared with everyone their practices around self-care, specialization, community care, and communication, and you spent the last 8 years burning the candle at both ends in person and online with no regard for the actual WORK only for your own fear and feelings of reassurance.

This will never sustain change. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never wanted this for anyone who came after me and I have so much grief that it's here. But I also do not have time to force yall to fucking listen to us when we talk.

Stop trying to assert that only the wealthy and energetic resist. Anyone I see doing so will be bitten repeatedly until fucking dead.

[yoonguurt]

Pairing: non idol Jihoon x F!reader

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint, smut

Trope: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers

Word Count: 5,088 

Trigger Warnings: none

Summary: Jihoon always joins in when his group of friends makes fun of Mingyu for being a simp for his girlfriend. It isn’t that he thinks that a man shouldn’t go above and beyond for their significant other, it’s just that he hasn’t had a girlfriend that makes him want to go that far. Maybe one day, though.

A/N: This is for @ddeonghwa-s secret cupid event! Surpise @strawberry-skiess I'm your cupid! This honestly was hard to start, but once I started I just couldn't stop. I hope you enjoy it! Happy Valentine's Day (even though I'm a day late) Thanks to @kwanisms for this lovely little banner. I love it so much. This is for adults only, no minors allowed! I will fight you.

Read all of the other wonderful entries here

Smut Warnings: slight nipple play, dom!Jihoon, sub!reader, fingering, oral (f receiving) unprotected sex (do not), maybe two thigh slaps

“Well, if it isn’t the simp of the century.” Jeonghan’s voice floats through Jihoon’s ears and he looks to the door as Mingyu walks in. Over the last couple of months, calling their group giant a simp has become something of a ritual. They don’t mean it, they honestly think it’s adorable how whipped Mingyu is. And he certainly isn’t ashamed of it. He wears the title like a badge of honor. “Still single and bitchy, I see.” Mingyu’s retort is almost immediate, a cheshire grin adorning his face as he watches the rest of the group burst into laughter and Jeonghan’s face turn into a mix between a smirk and a scowl. 

Jihoon retreats into his thoughts while his friends chatter amongst themselves. He does think it’s sweet how much Mingyu loves his girlfriend, he just isn’t sure that he understands. Sure, he’s had a few relationships of his own, and while he cared about them, even loved one or two, he has never known the amount of love Mingyu seems to wield. His friend found his self described love of his life around 4 months ago and he’s been head over heels the entire time. Jihoon has watched Mingyu rush to get to his phone when he gets a text, with a special ringtone for his girlfriend, and smile like an idiot at whatever it is she has said.

He’s lived through Mingyu leaving nights at the bar solely because his girl wanted to cuddle. When her birthday came around, the two men spent hours going through unlimited stores while Mingyu tried to find the perfect present. Every time Jihoon suggested something, Mingyu had a retort on why it wasn’t good enough. The new cd by her favorite band? “I don’t have enough time to get it signed.” The pretty pink purse that screamed something his girlfriend would like? “I already got her that one.” Eventually, the tall man had settled on a necklace that Jihoon was certain cost more than a used car. Mingyu had the money to throw around, he guessed. 

Part of Jihoon wants to know what it’s like to feel like that. Another part thinks that it seems like a burden. He can’t decide where he stands on the topic. Sure, he wants that great love that novels describe, wants to give his heart to someone and know that they’ll always be there. But at the same time, he isn’t sure he’ll find someone that can deal with his finicky moods. There are times when he wants someone to cuddle, only to immediately change his mind. He knows that can be annoying, and he is working on it. One of his other issues is time. He takes his job seriously. 

Working as a producer, he is a busy man. He doesn’t know if there’s a person out there that will understand that sometimes, he loses himself in his work. His phone drifts to the back of his mind, dates forgotten without him meaning to. It’s the main reason his relationships have failed. He genuinely doesn’t mean to, and it’s another thing he has been working on. He’s been getting better at responding to his friends in a timely manner, he’s even taken to setting alarms on his phones so he doesn’t miss the planned hangouts. Sure, he still falls into the music and forgets the world around him, but he’s getting better.

There has always been an exception, though. You. His best friend. The two of you have known each other for years, having met in freshman year of college. Your sunny disposition sometimes clashed with the grumpy facade he puts on, but it’s always worked. A couple of his exes thought there was something going on between the two of you, but that’s never been the case. He just clicks with you. You understand him. You’re a busy woman, too. The journalism world stops for no one. 

“Isn’t that right, Jihoon?” He snaps head up toward the voice. Soonyoung looks at him expectantly, obviously waiting for him to agree with him. “Sorry, what?” The huff of air that comes from Soonyoung’s mouth lets him know how annoyed his friend is. “I said that it’s cute that Mingyu loves his girl so much, isn’t that right?” Honestly, he doesn’t know how to answer this. “Sure, it’s cute, but it seems exhausting.” The sound of a scoff comes from behind him and he turns to the sound. He hadn’t realized that you were here. He suddenly feels like he said something wrong, like when a teacher calls on you to answer in class and you fumble and answer wrong. It’s embarrassing for some reason. “So what I’m hearing is that you would find caring for your partner that much to be an inconvenience?” Everyone’s eyes flit between you and Jihoon, waiting for a debate to start. The two of you have always been like that. You’re able to have a small, argumentative conversation and then go back to joking like it never happened. 

Jihoon sighs deeply, knowing where this is going. “That’s not what I said.” His tone lets you know just how annoyed at having a conversation like this again. “I’m just saying that Mingyu’s level of simpdom sounds like a bit much. I’m happy he has someone that he loves so much, but being at her beck and call constantly sounds tiring.” Mingyu responds before you can even open your mouth. “That isn’t how it is.” His tone isn’t defensive in any way. He just sounds like he’s explaining something to a child. “She doesn’t ask me to do any of that. She actually encourages me to have fun with you guys. I just feel so happy that I have her and I want to make sure she knows that.” 

Jihoon stays silent for a moment, thinking over Mingyu’s words. He thinks to himself, wandering again if he’s ever had something like that. He thinks the closest thing he’s had is you. He’s dropped more things that he can count to be at your side when you need him. He’s even dipped on girlfriends because you were upset. Once, he canceled on his most recent ex just because you secured a front page spot for the local paper. He needed to be the one to celebrate your accomplishment with you, needed to be the first one to congratulate you. He didn’t want to think too deeply about what that meant. Sure, he had had a massive crush on you in college, he thought he might have been in love with you, but that had disappeared a long time ago. 

When you showed no sign of reciprocating his feelings, he decided to let it go, letting you go, at least in the romantic sense. 

Of course, there were still times where he’d look at you and think about how beautiful you were, especially when you’d just woken up and the light was hitting you in a specific way. But, that was just him appreciating your beauty as a best friend. He was sure of it. Realizing he had been quiet for too long, he glanced at Mingyu, nodding his head. “I guess I could see how someone could feel that way.” He chose to ignore the way Soonyoung cut his eyes toward him, knowing what he was thinking. Soonyoung had been the only person who had known about his college crush. He always insisted that you had felt the same, and that Jihoon still held a candle for you. 

“You’ll find it one day, Hoon. Don’t close yourself off to it.” Your voice is strained, though you try to hide it. You’ve always admired Jihoon, even if he was a bit closed off. He’d never really let himself go in a relationship. It was like he never felt comfortable. But you knew him at his core, knew how sweet and thoughtful he was. He had always been there for you when you needed him, which was probably why your love for him had never died. You’d tried to find someone else, dated people, even loved one or two, but not like you loved Jihoon. No one could compare. You’ve seen every side of him and there isn’t a single one of them that you don’t adore. He’s also been growing his hair and God does he look better than you’ve ever seen him. You can tell his confidence has grown a little and that is even more attractive. You know you’re well and truly fucked, but you aren’t sure you want to change that.

The night winds down and everyone gathers their things to leave. Soonyoung takes the time to pull Jihoon aside, making the younger boy look at his friend in confusion. “Look, I know you’re going to deny it like you always do, but watching you two pine after each other is getting hard to do.” Jihoon opens his mouth, only to be silenced by Soonyoung’s hand lifting in the air. “Have you ever stopped to think that there’s a reason that relationships never worked out for either of you? If you haven’t, then think about it, ok?” Soonyoung clapped his friend on the shoulder before he moved to hug you and tell you goodbye. 

“I’ll help clean up.” Jihoon’s words cut into your thoughts, distracting you from what it is you were thinking. You turned to face him, a teasing smirk gracing your features. “Take a look around. There’s nothing to clean up. Go home and actually get some sleep tonight. I know you have to be at the studio early tomorrow, just like I know you haven’t been sleeping. Just listen to me and go sleep.” He was baffled at how you knew that, but then again it was a talent you seemed to have. Knowing everything without him having to tell you. But then again, he guessed he had the same talent. It was like a sixth sense. Some real ‘There’s a disturbance’ shit. He simply nodded at you, saying goodnight and leaving without even stopping to think that you barely had to have any force behind your turn to get him to do exactly what you wanted.

The thinking came when he walked through his door. A lot of it. Soonyoung’s words began to float through his mind. Did they have any weight to them at all? Sure, relationships had really never worked out for the two of you, but that didn’t mean anything. Relationships come and go, that’s what they do. Occasionally, people get lucky and they find who they’re supposed to be with. Sometimes, they don’t. That was just life, it didn’t mean that the two of you were the reason the other’s relationships failed. The more he thought about it, though, the more merit Soonyoung’s words seemed to hold. Any time you needed him, he came running, and the same applied to you. You’ve both left dates and anniversaries because the other needed something. He’s had to assure quite a few exs that there was nothing romantic between the two of you and if he had to guess, he’d say you’ve done the same. Everything hits him at all once and he feels the need to sit down to process. 

You’re going through your own mental roller coaster. You know that Jihoon could find his person if he would just let someone in. It doesn’t have to be you, though you desperately want it to be, you just want him to find someone that will make him happy, someone that will bring out the loving side you know that he has. You sigh deeply as you lock up your apartment, making your way to your bed to get some much needed sleep.

You don’t hear from Jihoon for a few days, but that isn’t totally unusual. Sometimes he gets so lost in the music and you just wait until he’s back in the land of the living. But as a whole week passes, you start to worry. He’s never gone more than 3 days without speaking to you. You try to play through the events of the last time you saw him, thinking about if you had done something out of the norm. The only thing you think of is the conversation everyone had about Mingyu. He must have been offended that he was ganged up on, but then again that didn’t make sense. It wasn’t the first time everyone had had this conversation and he has never reacted like this before. It takes a split second for you to make up your mind and grab your purse and walk out the door.

Jihoon sits at his computer, staring past it like it’s not even there. He can’t focus, hasn’t been able to focus for a week. His thoughts always float back to you and how he feels. Now that he has realized he does in fact have feelings for you still, he can’t seem to bring himself to face you. What if he acts different? What if you realize? He can’t risk it. There are too many years of friendship on the line. Sure, not answering your texts is the coward’s way out, but he doesn’t know what else to do. As he had sat on his couch a week ago, the realization that he was in love with you hit him in the face. Damn Soonyoung. He would have been totally fine if he had kept being ignorant. Now though, he knows that he’d do anything for you. He knows that he already does do anything for you. 

The beeping on the keypad to his studio brings his attention back to reality. There are select few who know the code to his studio and he looks at the door with held breath, hoping it isn’t who he knows it is. You swing the door open, displeasure written all over your face. “What the fuck, Lee Jihoon?” He grimaces, hating that you’ve pulled his full name out of your pocket. If he didn’t before, he knows now that he is in deep trouble. He sits in his chair, slouching like a scolded child as you glare at him. “No text in a week. No reply in a week. Nothing to let me know that you’re even alive. Who the hell do you think you are?” Jihoon almost wants to laugh, thinking you’re adorable even when you’re angry, but he doesn’t dare. He knows that will only make things worse for him. 

Jihoon is hit with a sudden urge to touch you and he can’t hold back. He quickly stands and moves towards you slowly, watching as your demeanor changes. You go from angry to confused as you watch his steps. He stops in front of you, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sorry.” The words are whispered, but you can still hear them. All of the anger leaves you, almost. You hit his shoulder lightly, making him giggle slightly. “You damn well should be. Had my ass worried sick, asshole.” There’s a playfulness in your tone, one that you can’t help but let out. Your confusion grows as you realize that Jihoon hasn’t stopped hugging you. That is definitely different. Jihoon hates physical touch, he always has. In the entirety of your friendship, he’s only hugged you a handful of times and everyone has been quick, lasting only a few seconds.

“What happened to you in the past week for you to be so affectionate? You hate physical affection.” Your words come out teasing, trying to mask your genuine curiosity as a joke. He doesn’t answer for a moment, seeming content to just continue holding you. When he finally does speak, you choke on air, starting a small coughing fit. “Yeah, but I love you.” There’s no teasing tone. No joking. You can hear the sincerity in his voice. You have no words. No thoughts, head empty. 

Jihoon pulls back just enough to look at you and you can see the hesitation and worry in his eyes. You need to say something, you want to say something, but nothing is coming out. Your mouth is opening and closing like a fish gasping for air and you’re sure you look ridiculous. When you finally find words, they aren’t what you planned to say. “Are you sure about that?” Jihoon can’t contain his laugh and the sound hits you in your gut. It makes every fiber of your being tingle. Hearing him laugh brings you back to reality and you give him a playful shove, smiling and letting out a huff of laughter of your own. “Shut up.” There’s no real bite to your words and you know that he knows that. “I tell you that I love you and your response is to ask me if I’m sure?” He’s teasing you and loving it and you pout. “Hey! It’s a perfectly valid question!” Looking at him your heart surges with affection. 

“As funny as that was, I’m kind of panicking over here. A response would be nice, even if it’s a rejection.” Jihoon chews his lip as the nerves show on his face. You can’t help but smile at him and reach up and lace your fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. “Have I told you how much I love your hair like this?” Your statement throws him off guard and he looks at you with furrowed brows. “Wha-” You cut him off with a finger to his lips. “Almost as much as I love you.” The smile that comes across his face could light up a room with no lights. He leans down and presses his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?” He giggles against your lips as you give him a pout and a shove. His reaction is to pull you closer to him, pressing you as close to his body as possible. 

His eyes flit down to your lips before trailing back to your eyes, in silent question. You give him a slight nod, knowing that he’ll get the message. You watch as his lips slowly move towards yours, as if he’s teasing you by making you wait. You let out a whine of impatience and he giggles. He can’t help but give you what you want. When he finally presses his mouth to yours, it’s like the world explodes in a rainbow of colors you didn’t even know existed. You feel as if your entire purpose makes sense now that you have tasted his lips. It doesn’t take long before the sweet pecks turn into desperate, open mouthed kisses. His tongue dances with yours, fighting for dominance, which he quickly wins. The way he takes control of the kiss goes straight to your core. You’d thought about this and sure, you thought he’d be more of a dominant lover, but the reality is greater than what you could imagine. And this is only kissing. You can only imagine what it’s going to be like when he’s actually fucking you. The thought alone has your thighs clenching.

Of course, Jihoon notices even though you’re trying to be subtle about it. He pulls back with a smirk. “Oh? Is someone getting needy?” The way his voice drops in octave only causes you to clench tighter and let out a small whimper. Jihoon’s lips make their way to your neck, leaving small nibbles and kisses in their wake. “Aww. My poor baby. Already getting desperate, huh?” All you can do is nod against him as your hands grab at his shirt. He lets out a deep chuckle against the skin of your neck and the vibrations make you shiver. His hand slowly makes its way from your neck down the front of your chest, stopping just above your breast. He lifts his head to look you in the eyes, silent asking for consent. Instead of giving him a verbal answer, you take his hand, completely bypassing your clothed breast and placing it at the hem of your shirt. He takes the hint, leaning back just enough to lift your shirt from your body.

The chilly air in the studio causes your nipples to harden immediately and Jihoon’s eyes fall to your chest and darken with lust. His hands instantly find your bra covered breasts, pulling the cups down just enough to him to see your peaked buds. Taking one in between his thumb and index fingers, he pinches lightly, just enough to see your reaction. When you arch into him, he smirks, knowing he’s found something you like. “Hoon, please.” Your voice is light and airy, the need evident. “Please what, sweetheart? What do you need? You’ve gotta use your words, pretty.” The way you buck your hips and whine tells him all he needs to know. 

He moves his fingers to the button of your pants, making a show of slowly loosening the button. His teasing is both driving you crazy and making you more horny than you have ever been. Your hips are bucking into nothing, desperate for some sort of stimulation. When he finally gets the button undone, he sinks to his knees, pulling your pants down as he lowers himself. “Hands above your head, baby. No moving unless I say.” The softness of his tone does nothing to hide the dominance and it makes you weak. You nod and move your hands above your head against the wall. Jihoon flashes you a smile that makes your heart flutter. “What a good girl I have. You listen so well, my love.” 

When he taps your leg to signal for you to lift your legs to step out of the pants. You obey slowly, trying to tease him a little bit. A quick slap to your thigh makes you gasp, a moan slipping from your lips. “Behave. I’m trying to make our first time sweet. Don’t test me, angel.” His patience wavers slightly when he can’t wait to remove your panties, simply using his strength to rip them so that they fall off of you. It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. “Holy shit, Jihoon.” He smirks like he knows how much his strength affects you, because he does. He doesn’t say anything, simply lifts your right leg and places it over his shoulder. Your breath hitches as you look down at him, making eye contact as he makes a show of sticking his tongue out, flicking it over your clit. The sudden contact makes you jerk forward and your eyes fall closed. Even though the action was nowhere near enough, it made you even more wet. You’re practically dripping at this point and once glance at the man below you lets you know that he enjoys the effect he has on you. 

He spends what feels like forever just slowly giving your clit kitten licks, driving you insane just as slowly. Without warning, his actions speed up. He grips your hips and harshly pulls them forward, shoving his face as far into your pussy as he can get it. The moan you emit is bordering on pornagraphic. Your fingers twitch, wanting so badly to grip him by the hair and ride his face. As if he can sense your thoughts, he pulls back, making you whine. “Don’t even try it. Move those hands and you won’t cum at all.” The slight growl in his voice does things to your insides. “Yes, sir.” Your voice is low and desperate and Jihoon groans, approving of your choice of title. 

He dives back into your cunt, quickly sliding his middle finger inside of you, his ring following a few seconds later. He curls his fingers, searching for the spot that he knows will make you come undone. It doesn’t take him long to find it, pressing the tips of his fingers against it and rubbing. You can’t control the sounds that come from your throat and you’re beyond glad the studio is soundproof. You can feel yourself getting closer to your peak and you do your best to communicate that. “Ji, please. So close.” Your hips are moving without your control, chasing your end on instinct. Jihoon leans back long enough to give you permission to come. “That’s it baby. Let it go. Let me taste you. Give it to me.” His words throw you over the precipice, launching your mind into a different plane, one that is filled with nothing but pleasure and the sound of his voice. Jihoon works you through your orgasm, slowing down gradually to draw it out as long as possible. 

“Breathe, love. In and out.” You don’t even realize how hard you’re panting, but you listen to him regardless. Your eyes are closed and your legs feel like jelly and you’re aware that you’re only standing because he’s holding you up. You aren’t sure when he stood, brushing his fingers across your face and through your hair. When you finally return to reality, he’s looking at you with concern. “Are you ok?” His voice is shaky with hints of worry and his eyes flicker all over your face like he’s looking for some sign of distress. It takes you a moment to respond and when you do, you can only say the first thing that pops into your mind. “Are you fucking kidding me? That was insane and amazing and I need your cock in me right now or I’ll die.” The laugh Jihoon lets out is loud and unrestrained and it makes you smile. 

He places a quick kiss to your lips, letting you taste yourself briefly on his lips. His hands take hold of yours and he slowly moves you toward the couch that sits against the wall behind his computer chair. With another kiss, he steps back, his hands moving to the hem of his shirt. “Lay down on your back, baby.” You don’t even think before doing as he says, keeping your eyes on his as he lifts his shirt over his head. It isn’t the first time you’ve seen Jihoon shirtless, but the fact that you know what’s about to happen makes it all the more erotic. He drops the shirt on the floor, not caring where it lands, moving his hands to the basketball shorts he’s wearing. Your breath hitches in anticipation, and you refuse to even blink as he eases his shorts and boxers down together. When his length comes into view, your mouth goes dry. He’s the perfect amount of length and girth, not too long or short and you just know the stretch will be heavenly. He watches you look at him for a moment before he steps out of his clothes completely and makes his way to the couch where your body lies limp and needy.

His eyes wander your body, simply taking you in, clearly liking the way you’re spread out for him. “You are so fucking beautiful, do you know that?” The way he’s looking at you makes your insides turn to mush and you reach for him, making grabby hands at him. He gives you a soft smile, kneeling in between your legs and linking his fingers with yours. After giving each hand a kiss, he lifts them to fit around his neck, leaning down to give a slow kiss, full of nothing but love. Giving you one last questioning look, he waits for you to smile and nod before he reaches down to align his length with your entrance. When he pushes forward, it feels like the world expands and closes in at the same time. You’re hyper aware of everything while also only focusing on the feel of him. It’s like you’ve finally found a piece of yourself that you didn’t even know you were missing. 

The first thrust steals every bit of oxygen you have, replacing it with love and just Jihoon. The sound he makes causes a groan to erupt from your throat. He sounds wrecked already and you love that you’re the one that is making him that way. His face buries itself in your neck, lips littering kisses along the exposed skin. “Fuck, you feel so good.” You can tell that he’s holding himself back. You lift your head just enough for your lips to be close to his ear, giving it a soft bite. “Jihoon, you can be soft later. Right now, I need you to fuck me.” It seems like that’s all he needed to hear. He pulls his hips back until his cock is almost completely out of you before he slams back in. Hard. The movement jolts your whole body, shoving your head against the arm of the couch. Without missing a beat, Jihoon brings his hand down to place it between your head and the couch, his thrusts still hard and fast. 

With the combination of his speed, depth and roughness, you’re embarrassingly close to coming for the second time. You dig the nails of one hand into the skin of his back, the other making its way to his hair, pulling just enough for him to feel it. The groan he lets out lets you know that he very much enjoys that. Your moans are loud and mixing with the filthy babbles that are coming from him. Praise of how good you feel, how badly he’s wanted this, how you’re his now. Your orgasm hits you full force without you even realizing just how close you were. The squeezing of your pussy around his cock and the look on your face has Jihoon following you immediately, filling your cunt with every bit of cum he has. You look up at him, and his breath hitches. You’re so, so beautiful and so, so his. Looking at you like this, he knows that he would do anything for you. Anything just to see you happy and smiling. He would eat glass if that would cause you joy, even though he knows it wouldn’t. A sudden realization hits him and he lowers his head.

“Shit, I’m a simp, too.”

[maenefa]

Ok, so if Eowyn wants to die in battle to avoid a worse fate at the hands of the enemy, why is it so easy to miss that??? Why does Tolkien misdirect us?

I could write a whole essay on Tolkien’s love of understatement, of meaningful silence, of “glimpses of untold stories,” but let’s focus on Eowyn for now.

Tolkien creates a suffocating bubble of silence around Eowyn. It’s brilliant and horrible and I love it and I hate it.

Faramir tells Eowyn what he thinks about her motives: “You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn…. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle.” And Eowyn doesn’t correct him! She just looks at him silently. And she declares her love for him during this scene.

Eowyn is often described as “frozen” or “cold,” and it’s clear that she has to hide her true feelings a lot of the time. Tolkien REALLY hits us over the head with the silencing of Eowyn in the Houses of Healing, when all the men are staring at her unconscious body and wondering why she was so unhappy. Eomer is positive that her crush on Aragorn was the problem; Aragorn doesn’t want to take the blame. Finally Gandalf speaks up:

“My friend, you had horses, and deeds of arms, and the free fields; but she, being born in the body of a maid, had a spirit and courage at least the match of yours.”

And then he says this:

“My lord, if your sister’s love for you, and her will still bent to her duty, had not restrained her lips, you might have heard even such things as these escape them. But who knows what she spoke to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in about her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?”

Gandalf has just made the most openly feminist statement in the novel (aside from Eowyn and her “burned in the house” speech), but he follows it by saying that Eowyn has private thoughts that he cannot or will not explain. It is up to the men to decide if they want to know more. Eomer is deeply struck by Gandalf’s words and silently rethinks his entire life with Eowyn.

And then Aragorn has a truly infuriating bros-before-hoes moment: he breaks the uncomfortable silence by reassuring Eomer that yeah, maybe Eowyn’s crush on him was actually the problem after all. Just a minute earlier, he had denied responsibility for Eowyn’s despair. But he hates to see his friend, his brother in arms, feeling shamed. So he jumps in to rescue Eomer from his negative emotions. And Eowyn is RIGHT THERE, silent and unable to defend herself.

We already know that Aragorn is reluctant to know more about Eowyn’s problems. During their confrontation in Dunharrow, Aragorn dodges all of Eowyn’s attempts to make him see her point of view.

“A time may come soon,” said he, “when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defence of your homes. Yet the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.”

And she answered: “All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honor, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.”

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.

Neither Aragorn nor Eowyn want to talk about what will happen to her if the enemy wins; this is why there is so much misdirection about Eowyn’s motives! Aragorn glosses over the atrocities that are likely to happen and tells Eowyn she can have a heroic last stand, as a treat. Eowyn is infuriated by his poetic vagueness and spits out this horrifying image of being burned alive—but then she fiercely insists that she is a warrior and fears neither pain nor death. She doesn’t want to perform feminine vulnerability to get Aragorn to listen to her. Eowyn is proud and dignified, which makes it especially painful when she resorts to kneeling and begging Aragorn to let her fight. As she tells Faramir, she desires no man’s pity.

I have to give a shoutout to @balrogballs, who has written about this subject extensively:

The cultural fantasy of the female victim of violence often traps women in an unyielding present tense, positioning them as symbols of sentimentality. These women are objectified and become sites of social intervention, their suffering the focal point of external pity and mourning. The narrative demands their pain be witnessed, but rarely offers a way forward, reducing them to objects for emotional consumption rather than subjects of their own story.

This is exactly what Eowyn is trying to avoid. She wants to be remembered as a hero, not a victim.

Tolkien embroiders this theme very cunningly by having Faramir give Eowyn a cloak that belonged to his mother, Finduilas, who died when he was five. Faramir thinks the cloak is “fitting for the beauty and sadness of Eowyn,” which has a deeper meaning that he probably does not intend. Finduilas is also the name of an elf maiden from the Silmarillion, who was captured by orcs and killed with a spear. In Tolkien’s work, both Finduilases exist mainly to provide tragic backstories for male protagonists. Oh, and Arwen’s name was originally Finduilas as well. To be a Finduilas is to be beautiful and passive, and to die tragically. A fate that Eowyn rages against.

(The Finduilas thing becomes even more absurdly cryptic when you recall that only Tolkien knew about the tragic connotation of the name at the time LotR was published. But he did this kind of thing!!! Recall Elrond and his warning against oaths.)

I have always wondered why Eowyn didn’t challenge Faramir when he informed her that she was suicidal because of Aragorn. Perhaps she simply wanted to put the whole nightmare behind her.

But the most painful silence, to me, involves Theoden. Gandalf reveals that Wormtongue was planning to rape Eowyn, and Theoden says nothing. Eomer grabs his sword and has to be restrained from killing Wormtongue, but Theoden actually offers Wormtongue a second chance to prove his loyalty:

"Do you hear this, Wormtongue?" said Theoden. "This is your choice: to ride with me to war, and let us see in battle whether you are true; or to go now, whither you will. But then, if ever we meet again, I shall not be merciful."

This betrayal of Eowyn happens so fast that it is easy to miss. None of the characters comment on it, and the narrative moves on. There’s something horribly realistic about a powerful man with a beloved image casually offering a second chance to a sexual predator and everyone, including the reader, being unable to process what is happening.

The silences in Eowyn’s story come from the male characters and from Eowyn herself. Theoden and Aragorn want to avoid talking about the type of violence that threatens her, and they ignore her desires. Eowyn doesn’t want to be trauma porn; she resents having to explain herself. And this silence offers readers the freedom to empathize with her, like Eomer, or to fall back on sexist explanations, like Aragorn.

[saccharinesatoru]

Unwrap Me (m)

Pairing: gojo satoru x reader (f)

Genre: sorcerer & boyfriend!Gojo + smut w/ fluff

Word count: uhh 6k ish i think

Summary: Satoru felt so very bad after spending so much time away from home, so to make it up to you, he’ll be wrapped nice and pretty for you as a Valentine’s Day gift for the both of you. 

Warnings: submissive!gojo, mommy kink, bondage, overstimulation, breeding kink, choking, penetration (f receiving), brief use of daddy kink, pregnancy kink (low key)

A/N: i originally had this as a gojo christmas/belated birthday fic, but i didn’t finish it in time… lmao thank you always for the support. And lemme know if you have the artist’s ^ name, so i can tag or credit them  

Xx Jay

Surprisingly, the hardest part about being a sorcerer wasn’t fighting curses, the agonizing hours of training, or even dealing with the ridiculously ignorant higher ups. The most challenging part was how your social life was almost entirely depleted. It’s a miracle you get along so well with other sorcerers like Shoko and Nanami, otherwise you’d have no friends whatsoever… and no boyfriend either. When you first met Satoru, you admittedly thought he was annoying. Though, pretty much everyone felt the same way upon meeting the white-haired sorcerer… and some people still found him annoying to this day (i.e., Nanami). 

After years of working together, neither of you could deny the spark you two shared and eventually caved in to the passion. The rest was history. And now, going three years strong, you and Satoru love each other more than anything. There’s just one problem: both of you are so busy that you hardly get any time with each other. You have the day off? Sorry, Satoru’s on a mission abroad. He miraculously finishes a mission early and gets to come home sooner than expected? That’s a shame; you’re caught in a meeting with Yaga and the higher ups. It certainly wasn’t easy being in a relationship with the honored one, and that was emphasized on anniversaries and holidays that you two spent apart. 

Today was Valentine’s Day, and you had already prepared yourself to spend the night alone, drinking wine, watching corny romcoms, facetiming Satoru from his mission outside of Tokyo, and trying not to cry yourself to sleep as you lay in a cold bed, void of your boyfriend of several years. You told yourself it was okay. After all, you should be used to it by this point, right? This was hardly the first significant date you had spent without your partner. Surely you’d be able to muster through this one too… right? 

That would be much simpler if you hadn’t borne witness to about a dozen couples enjoying the day of love together. Hell, even Principal Yaga had plans and left campus early to meet with some mystery woman. Like Satoru, you're a teacher at Jujutsu High, and you saw plenty of your students celebrating the special day together. Yuta planned a picnic date with Maki, Megumi made a bouquet of origami flowers for Yuji, and even Hakari and Kirara had planned some big trip to a casino in the heart of Tokyo which definitely didn’t seem legal or age-appropriate. As happy as you were to see your students so happy and in love, it reminded you of how your Valentine this year would be your couch and a bottle of wine instead of your boyfriend. You took a deep breath as Ijichi drove you home. Ordinarily, you’d drive yourself, but you had a sneaking suspicion that even Ijichi felt bad for you and decided to show you some compassion… or pity… or both. 

You smile softly and wave goodbye to the assistant supervisor as he drives off in the direction of the setting sun. Surprisingly, getting off work late was a welcomed circumstance today given it meant you’d be spending less time alone in an empty house. Trudging to your front door, you fumble with the keys and slip off your shoes upon entering the home you shared with Satoru. You weren’t sure if it was all in your head, but the house quite literally felt colder without Satoru- regardless of what the thermostat said. All you want to do is change into your pajamas and wallow in self-pity… but then you see the rose petals delicately scattered on the floor. You frown, and for a second, you think you’re either hallucinating, about to be attacked by someone who broke into your home, or being pranked. 

Your worries are offset when you hear soft music coming from the direction of your bedroom. You slowly walk toward the room, following a line of rose petals. Upon peeking your head in the doorway, your jaw drops and your eyes widen. Who else do you find but the one and only Gojo Satoru sprawled across the bed wearing nothing but his signature blindfold and red ribbon that’s meticulously wrapped to cover his pelvis. Now you’re sure you’re hallucinating. 

You stammer, “I… The mission… you’re here…”

He laughs and sits up to rest on his elbows. “Surprise, sweetheart. Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

You feel dazed. Here you were, preparing yourself to lie to your boyfriend over facetime about not crying your eyes out due to loneliness when Satoru was sat, waiting all patient and pretty, and ready to be unwrapped like the gift he is. Your jaw must still be on the floor, because Satoru laughs again at your expression. “Don’t just stand there. I didn’t get home earlier than planned just for you to catch flies with that jaw of yours left open all night.”

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you feel tears well in your eyes as you rush toward him and leap onto the bed, pulling him into your arms. You say softly and quietly, “I missed you so much, Toru. I wanted to count down the days until I saw you next, but with how busy we both are, I wasn’t sure when that day would be.” 

Satoru looks at you with a soft smile too as he holds you close to his chest and his warmth envelops you. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart… I know this is difficult for you and our relationship. I’m going to make a better effort to make time for us. And that’s why I think you’ll like the gift I got you…” He trails off before chuckling. “I mean, it’s not the only gift I got you, but I think you’ll like it most.”

You furrow your brows and look at him. It was not a surprise that Satoru got you multiple gifts for Valentine’s Day. He does the same thing for just about every special day, even holidays like Saint Patrick’s Day that neither one of you even celebrated. So what did he have planned that was so magnanimous that he deliberately mentioned it before giving it to you? “...What is it?”

He smirked at you and whispered in your ear, “After negotiating with the higher ups…” He pauses and amends, “Okay, after threatening the higher ups, I got the two of us a whole week off of work to do whatever… we… want.” 

It may sound silly and over dramatic, but you honestly have to hold back a scream at the words he whispers to you. A whole week? Neither one of you has had that much time off since… actually, you’ve never had that much time off. You and Satoru were lucky to get a mere afternoon together. That time was always cherished, but this is an entire week. You feel faint just thinking about it. Your silence and expression conveys just about every bit of excitement and shock you have. Satoru smiles and presses a kiss to your cheek. “That’s right, sweets. Just you and me for the whole week. No curses, no missions, no higher ups… just us.” 

A tear threatens to slip down your cheek as you process his words. He softly wipes away your tears with his thumb. You pull him even closer and breathe in the scent of his cologne. It’s the little things, really. The very thought that you’ll be able to take in his scent from rubbing your nose against the crook of his neck rather than try to inhale traces of it from his pillow brings you overwhelming joy that you can’t begin to put into words. You say softly and sincerely, “Thank you, Satoru. This means more than the world… You mean more than the world.”

Satoru smiles. “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He leans closer to you, his breath warm against your ear and whispers, “Now, how about you unwrap your other gift.. I think you’ll really like it.” He grabs your hand gently and places it on the ribbon’s bow on his thigh. You smirk as well and begin to slowly pull on the strand, untying the bow. 

“I think it’s a gift both of us will like,” You whisper back. 

You undo the ribbon and slowly slide it off Satoru, revealing his body in its entirety. You caress him as if he’s the most precious piece of art you’d ever laid eyes on (which is true). Almost as if in a trance, you whisper, “A masterpiece…” 

Satoru’s blush doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Even though Satoru was always very confident (cocky) about his handsome features and bragged frequently about his physique and attractiveness, he never failed to blush whenever you complimented him. Something about you and your praise made him equal parts flustered and proud. And your comment just now was no exception. You chuckle at his expression and run your finger down his body. You have a mischievous twinkle in your eye. “Satoru… I have an idea for your Valentine’s Day gift…”

He furrows his brows in confusion. You have to keep yourself from cooing and pinching his cheeks, given his expression makes him akin to a puppy dog. “What is it?”

You smile and gently pull off the remaining ribbon on his body. Satoru lets out a quiet hiss at the feeling of the silk gliding over his rock hard cock. Once the ribbon is completely off his body, you twirl it in your hands and smile. “Be a good boy for me, and let me tie you up another way.”

Satoru’s eyes widen, and his cock grows impossibly harder. If your previous compliment made him blush, your comment made him red as a tomato. Sure, he likes pet names like ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘honey’... but nothing gets him hot, bothered, and a blushing mess than when you call him your good boy. He stutters, “T-tie me up?”

You chuckle and nod, playing with the ribbon in your hands. “You heard me right, Toru. How bout you let me string you up and take care of you for the night, hm? You must be so tired after your long mission… Why don’t you let mommy do all the work?”

He nearly cums from your words alone. No one would ever expect the strongest sorcerer of the modern age, the honored one, the almighty Gojo Satoru to have such a submissive side to him, but you knew better than anyone that every now and then, Satoru would be so desperate for you to take control that he’d be on the brink of tears. This is no exception. He looks at you like you’re his patron saint, and he worships the very ground you walk on. He nods slowly, eyes still wide. You chuckle again and lightly pat his cheek. “Words, baby.”

Satoru attempts (and fails) to snap out of his daze, but is able to speak softly, “Yes, mommy. Please make me feel good. I need it- I need you.” 

You smile and press a soft kiss to his forehead. “What a good boy. Scoot up near the headboard for me, baby. Let’s hope I’m still good at tying knots.” He damn near leaps to the top of the bed. You almost question if he teleported there, too excited to even move normally. It’s not entirely fair to chuckle at his behavior, since you’re just as excited as he is. You use the ribbon to tie his wrists to the headboard. Pulling gently on the restraints to make sure they’re not too tight, you ask softly, “Is that okay, baby? Not too tight?”

He shakes his head. “It’s fine, mommy- no pain or discomfort.” 

You nod and caress his cheek again. “You remember our system, right? Green for keep going, yellow for slow down, and red for stop. If your mouth is full, tap me three times, and I’ll stop. Also, be sure to tell me if the restraints are too tight or are beginning to hurt you, okay? I know you can heal yourself with reverse curse technique, but the last thing I want is to hurt you, alright? Don’t ever worry about upsetting or disappointing me. Your safety is the most important thing to me, alright?”

Satoru nods. Even the way you speak to him while explaining your safe words has his stomach doing flips. He’s always appreciated how caring you are, and there’s no exception when it comes to sex. As hot as the actual act is, the amount of love and care you display is the part of sex that means the most to him. And obviously, he’s far too strong for the measly ribbon to hold him back, but the very act of submitting to you willingly has both of you feeling hot and bothered. “Yes, I understand. I will communicate with you how I’m feeling, I promise.”

You nod again and press a soft kiss to his lips. “Okay, baby, let’s get started.” 

The excitement in Satoru’s eyes is practically visible through his blindfold. You chuckle and gently slip the fabric up and over his head. “I want to see all of you.” His face heats up at your words and nods, his bottom lip between his teeth and blush on full display. You begin by running your finger gently down his torso, leaving goosebumps along his skin. As you move lower, you begin to pepper kisses along his torso, leading to his muscular thighs. When you reach his cock, you playfully run your tongue over a vein, making him shiver. “P-please don’t tease, mommy. I need you so bad.”

Chuckling softly, you drop a dollop of spit onto his length and take him in your hand, pumping him a few times. “I’m sorry, baby. You know I can’t help but love watching my good boy squirm and beg for me.” Shooting him a sweet smile, you lean forward and wrap your lips around his pretty pink tip, eliciting a gasp out of the man. Deciding you’re done with teasing him, you sink your mouth down further until he hits the back of your throat. Instead of making him cry through teasing, you’ll make sure to bring him to tears by milking him dry. 

You begin with a slow rhythm, pumping in your hands whatever you can’t fit in your mouth. Satoru was nonstandard in every sense of the word. To say his cock was massive was an understatement. The feeling of him in your mouth was one thing, but the stretch you felt when he finally slipped inside was unlike anything else you’d ever felt. And you were determined to make him feel as good as he made you feel. Quickening your pace, you hear Satoru moan, the occasional whimper and whine spilling from his lips. You forced your mouth deeper until your nose touched his pelvis, the soft white tufts of hair around his cock brushing against your nose. You lean up quickly for air, you immediately wrap your lips around him again. He gasps at the sudden change and wiggles his hips against you, almost thrusting into your mouth. You tap his thigh, wordlessly giving him permission to fuck your mouth. Satoru whines upon your signal granting him permission and wastes no time bucking his hips upward, his cock repeatedly hitting the back of your throat. You’re gagging, drool and precum spilling from your lips and dripping down your chin. Satoru looks at the sight of you with tears brimming in your eyes from the lack of oxygen as he fucks into your tight throat. He honestly feels like he could cum from the sight alone, but he holds back since he doesn’t want the moment to end. The pleasure feels too good for him to give in now. He bites his lip and clenches both of his fists against the restraints. 

Upon seeing him hold back, you narrow your eyes and sit up. When his hardened cock falls from your lips, his eyes shoot open in desperation and he immediately begins to whine, “W-wait, wait, wait! Why did you stop? Please, please keep going, mommy.”

Taking his length in your hand and rubbing up and down the appendage, you say sternly, “You know how I feel about you holding back, baby. You’re not supposed to hold back any noises or orgasms unless I tell you otherwise. I don’t want to have to punish you…” 

Satoru feels like he might start crying on the spot. “N-No! No, I swear, I’ll be your good boy. I’m sorry for breaking the rules, mommy. I… I just wanted this to last longer. Y-your mouth feels so good, and I just want to feel it a little bit longer, mommy. I wasn’t trying to be bad.” 

You honestly feel bad for even mentioning punishment in the first place with how desperate Satoru looked at the moment. You caress his cheek and say softly, “Baby, I have so much more in store for you. Just because you cum early during a blowjob doesn’t mean I’m not going to milk you dry tonight.”

His eyes light up in excitement at your words, the distress written on his face fading and the tears subsiding. “Yes, yes, thank you, mommy. I’m sorry for doubting and disrespecting you…” Satoru’s face morphs into a pout. “Can… Can we keep going please?”

Chuckling at his question, you nod. “Of course, baby. Tonight’s about you.” You catch him off guard by immediately taking him in your mouth again, causing him to let out a loud moan and tense his thick thighs. You increase the pleasure by moving one hand to his balls and fondling them the way you know drives him crazy. He whimpers at the feeling and faces an internal dilemma as to whether or not he should drop his head against the pillow in pleasure or keep his eyes trained on the captivating sight that is you. 

With his cock repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, your hand pumping what you can’t fit in your mouth, and your other hand playing with his balls has him teetering on the edge of climax. He whines out, “M-Mommy, mommy, I’m close. Please let me cum, I can’t take it anymore.” 

You hum around him, both giving him nonverbal permission to cum as well as sending vibrations through his already sensitive cock. He gasps and shoots his load into your mouth, whining, moaning, and thanking you for pleasing him. “Thank… Thank you so much, mommy. That felt so… so good.” He’s panting and trying to catch his breath when his eyes widen upon realizing you hadn’t stopped your ministrations. Satoru stammers, “W-Wait, mommy, I finished already. I- fuck- I’m sensitive.” 

Despite hearing his nervous stammering, you continue to suck him off. Hearing all his cute little noises sounded even better after he felt boneless following a powerful orgasm. Just to push him even further, you pick up the intensity of your movements and make the act even messier with more drool, tears, and precum. You know how much he likes the sight of you eager to please him and give him the relief he needs. 

Satoru feels like his brain is turning to mush. Despite the fact that he just came moments ago, he feels his cock begin to harden again, adding to the sensitivity he feels. He feels his entire body tremble as you increase the intensity. He lets out a shaky breath, feeling as oxygen-deprived as you do. “I-I’m close again, mommy. I’m so, so close. I’m going to cum, oh my god.” Satoru groans and his entire body tenses, anticipating his climax. You pull your mouth off him, but continue pumping him up and down as well as fondling his balls. 

You say to your boyfriend warmly, “Baby, I told you I was going to milk you dry. Mommy always keeps her promises, right?”

He nods vigorously which is a miracle considering how high he feels at the moment. Satoru’s lips are red from how much he’s bitten them and his entire body is on edge, teetering on the brink of release. He looks at you with tear-filled eyes. “C-Can I cum, mommy? Please? I’ve been such a good boy for you.” 

Leaning forward, you press a soft kiss to his lips and whisper, “Cum for me, baby. Show mommy how good she made you feel.” 

You barely finish your sentence before he’s spilling into your hand, several ropes of cum coming from his red, sensitive cock. “Fuck!” Satoru’s a moaning mess, and you’d surely get noise complaints from the neighbors if Satoru weren’t so rich that he could buy the two of you an unreasonably large mansion. He’s loud and shameless- just how you like him. 

He comes down from his high and mutters, “Thank you, mommy. I-I was worried about how sensitive I felt at first, but you made me feel so good as usual. Thank you for always taking such good care of me.” Satoru looks at you with stars in his eyes as if you were an angel sent from heaven. 

You chuckle softly and lick off the cum that had stuck to your hands. Gently pushing some of his hair from his sweaty forehead, you smile fondly at the man. “Of course, baby. I have to give my good boy every bit of care and affection he deserves.” 

Satoru smiles at you softly and leans up to catch your lips in a kiss again. You make him feel so safe, so warm… so loved. He hadn’t felt that way since Suguru said goodbye to him all those years ago and left him to pick up the broken pieces of the life they had built together. You made him feel whole again, and he would spend every day of the rest of his life repaying you for the priceless amount of care and affection you gave him. 

He feels content in the moment but longs for you in a more intimate way. Satoru looks at you, a bit shy, and asks softly, “Can… Can you please ride me, mommy? Your mouth feels so good… but your pussy feels amazing.” 

You chuckle again and press another peck to his lips. “Of course, baby. I just wanted you to catch your breath first… What color?”

He thinks back to their color safe word system and states confidently, “Green, mommy. I feel a bit overstimulated… but you know I like it…” Satoru looks to the side, blush spreading across his cheeks again. 

Gently grabbing his chin and turning him to face you, you meet his gaze. “I know you do, baby. We’re far from done tonight, so I really need you to be honest and vocal with me if you want to slow down… If you’re ready, then we can move on.” 

Satoru nods. “Yes, mommy, I’m ready to continue. Please… please use me. Use my body, mommy. My cock belongs to you.” You can tell by his expression just how much sincerity his words hold, and it makes your heart warm like nothing and no one else could. You smile softly at him and capture his lips in a loving kiss. Your actions convey what your words cannot, and Satoru can feel the amount of love you feel for him. It makes his stomach erupt with butterflies. He would fight every cursed spirit and curse-user a million times over just for a simple touch from you. 

You throw your leg over his torso, effectively straddling him. You hover over his cock and use your hand to line him up with your entrance. Looking down at him, you ask, “Are you ready, baby? Ready for mommy’s pussy to take your big cock?” 

Your words have Satoru feeling feral. He nods so intensely, you think for a moment that he’ll have to use RCT to heal his neck. With desperation in his voice and written across his face, Satoru says quickly, “Yes, yes, please. Mommy, I need you so bad. I’m gonna lose my mind.” 

Chuckling, you show him mercy (not like you were doing any better yourself). You sink down on his cock and hiss at the stretch. The two of you never wore condoms since nothing felt better than being able to feel each other without any barriers in the way. The thought of that alone made Satoru feel weak, and the action itself made him feel like he ascended to heaven. Every time he filled you up, he returned to his own personal paradise. And the feeling was only exemplified by the fact that he was tied up, completely at your mercy. He whimpers when he bottoms out, your tight, warm walls sucking in his cock like a vacuum, making him shiver uncontrollably. 

After taking a moment to adjust, you lift yourself up with your thighs and slam back down onto him, making the two of you moan loudly in unison. After a few slow movements, you begin to bounce on his cock with increasing speed. You bring one of your hands to play with your clit as you ride him which has Satoru feeling both incredibly turned on and also a bit jealous since he wanted to touch your body too. You notice the look on his face and chuckle breathlessly, “Don’t worry, baby. Your touch still feels better than mine. Your hands are just a bit… preoccupied at the moment.” 

In any other situation, Satoru would have laughed at your sly joke, but you were fucking him so good that he couldn’t even get in a smart ass comment in retaliation. As your hips meet his, a bit of drool begins to spill from his lips. You lean forward and lick off the saliva that threatens to descend down his chin. Satoru looks fucked out beyond belief. The two consecutive orgasm  overstimulation from earlier only made him more sensitive, and you knew it too. 

With your spare hand, you wrap your fingers around Satoru’s throat, applying a fair amount of pressure that has him impossibly more aroused. Though you’re careful not to squeeze too tight and risk hurting Satoru since he was particularly sensitive in his submissive state, you press your fingers around his throat and make him see stars with the combination of your tight pussy and tightened grip around his windpipe. 

Satoru’s eyes roll to the back, and his head drops down onto the pillow. He longs to place his hands on your hips and guide you up and down his cock, but he knows that he has to be a good boy for you- especially since you’re oh-so-sweetly taking care of him. And in the moment, the mere thought of displeasing you makes him feel like crying. 

Noticing his expression, you press your lips to his again, kissing him passionately. He returns the kiss, matching the amount of affection and eager to express his love for you through his lips. You continue to fuck yourself on his cock, making the both of you loud and uncontrollable messes, frantically chasing their releases. 

Satoru hisses, “F-Fuck, mommy, your pussy fits me like a glove, I s-swear. I don’t give a fuck about jujutsu; your pussy is the real magic.” 

You would have laughed at his words if it weren’t for the fact that you were also turned on beyond belief and felt like you were going to explode if you didn’t climax soon. You release your hold on his neck (much to Satoru’s dismay) and start leaving hickeys along the smooth skin instead. Satoru gasps at a particularly hard bite against his jugular, making his eyes widen. You whisper in his ear, “You better not get rid of the marks I’m leaving on you, baby. You’re my own little masterpiece. My good boy, so pretty and strong. I just wanna mark you so everyone knows who you belong to. So be a good boy for mommy and don’t use your RCT to heal yourself, okay?”

Satoru is nodding quickly before you even finish speaking. “Yes, mommy, I belong to you. I don’t want anyone else looking at me. I- oh my god, you feel so good…” He’s unable to finish his sentence with how good you’re making him feel. He stammers out again between moans and whines, “I’m all yours, mommy- no one else’s. Use me whenever and however you want. Just wanna make you feel good.” 

He’s a rambling mess, and you know he’s approaching another orgasm. You ignore the burning in your thighs and force your body to move even quicker. His cock is sucked in and out of your pussy before his eyes, and the sight has him feeling even dizzier than he already does. Moaning against his skin, you breathe out, “Fuck, baby, you’re gonna make mommy cum. Be a good boy and thrust up into me like before, okay? Can you do that for mommy?” 

Satoru nods eagerly again and starts fucking up into you, increasing the pleasure even more. Your fingers make fast figure eights on your clit and bring you to your climax. You curse and clench around him. “Oh my god, Satoru!”

He’s unable to be quiet even if he wanted to. Your walls tightening around him sends him spiraling over the edge. Satoru whines uncontrollably, and you feel him fill your insides with several spurts of his hot seed. He’s panting, chest rising and falling heavily with his eyes clenched shut. All of a sudden, his eyes shoot open. “Oh my god, mommy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ask for permission to cum, and you told me to obey you otherwise I’d get a punishment, and I didn’t mean to let you down. You felt so good around me, and I know that’s not an excuse, but I just couldn’t help myself and-” 

You cut him off with a kiss. “Baby, it’s okay, I understand. Don’t worry; I’m not mad at you. You’re not going to be punished, baby. Take some deep breaths, okay? I know you’re feeling sensitive.” You softly wipe a tear that threatened to fall from the corner of his eye. He was so distraught at the thought of disappointing you that it had him as breathless as his orgasm. You rub your hand on his chest comfortingly. “What color, baby?”

He takes some deep breaths, trying to collect himself. Your soothing touch did wonders for him (it always did), and he was able to calm down within the next couple of moments before saying softly, “Green, mommy. I just… I just want to make you proud.”

Satoru has a frown on his face that breaks your heart just a bit. You take his face in your hands gently and say softly, “Baby, you make me proud everyday. The love of my life is the strongest sorcerer of the modern age. And the jujutsu isn’t even the most important part.” 

He looks at you with a bit of surprise in his eyes, “...It’s not?”

You chuckle softly and shake your head, rubbing your thumb against his cheek. “I’m proud of how smart you are, how brave you are, how big your heart is... I’m the luckiest girl in the whole wide world, because I get to call you mine.”

Before, Satoru felt like he was going to cry out of fear that he has disappointed you by not following the rules. Now he felt like he was going to cry from the sheer impact of your words alone. “You… You really mean that?” 

You smile and press another soft kiss to his lips. “I meant every word, baby. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It doesn’t matter if our schedules don’t align or if we don’t always get to be around one another. There’s nothing that could keep me from loving you.”

Now Satoru actually starts crying. You frown and untie his hands gently before pulling him in for a hug. “Thank you for always being such a good boy for me, baby.” He pulls you in closer and wraps his arms around you tightly as if you’ll slip through his fingers if he’s not careful… just like Suguru did.

He whispers, vulnerability laced in his words, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

You smile softly and caress him. “You’ll never have to find out, baby. I’m right here, and there’s nothing you can do to get rid of me.” He chuckles softly at your words, knowing that he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Satoru speaks softly again, “I keep having this dream… where you and I are retired, and we spend our days doing all the things we never have time for as sorcerers. Every time I pass by a bakery, I think about baking with you on a peaceful Saturday morning with flour cutely dusted on your face… Whenever I travel abroad for a mission, I think about how amazing it would feel to take you on a trip around the world, visiting every landmark and attraction just for the hell of it… Whenever I’m around the students, I… I think about how it would feel having kids of our own…”

Your eyes widen at that last comment. You know that Satoru is especially soft and sentimental after being in a submissive state, but you and Satoru had never discussed having kids together before. Of course, you wanted to… but having and raising kids when both of you were overworked beyond reason seemed impossible. But to hear him say those words so passionately, so sincerely, it had your heart warming in a way it never had before. 

You say softly, “Maybe… maybe we can make that a reality, Satoru.” 

He looks at you with hope. “Do… Do you think so?” 

Smiling warmly at the man, you press another kiss to his lips. “I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, and the thought of building a family with you only makes me love you more.” 

In that moment, Satoru feels more loved than he ever had in his entire life. He pulls you even closer until you feel his heartbeat against your own chest. After a moment, a smile slowly forms on your lips. “You know, Satoru… maybe I should stop taking my birth control…”

His head snaps up, and his wide eyes meet yours. “Don’t mess with me right now, or I swear to god, I’ll hollow purple myself.” 

You laugh at his comment. Although it sounded like a joke, you could hear the vulnerability in his tone. He wouldn’t really hollow purple himself… but this conversation about your future together was so important to him that he felt like he was hanging on the edge of his seat waiting for your answer. You whisper against his lips, “I want you, Satoru- all of you. I want the white dress and flower bouquet, I want the sounds of our kids playing in the backyard, I want you by my side as we build a home- a family- together.” 

Satoru pauses and looks a bit sheepish before saying, “Well, uh… If you don’t wanna spoil the surprise, then don’t look at the small box on our nightstand…”

You pause as well and naturally turn to the nightstand, unable to resist the temptation. You ask calmly, though your heart feels like it’s about to explode, “Satoru… is that an engagement ring?”

He doesn’t answer, and his silence speaks volumes. 

You laugh at his expression and smile playfully. “Well… If we really do hear those wedding day church bells in our future… then maybe it really is time we start building that family…” 

Satoru’s cock twitches inside you at your words, and you smirk. “What do you say, baby?”

He catches off guard by flipping the two of you over. You yelp as you're pinned down to the bed, staring up at Satoru with a fire in his eyes you’d never seen before. Before you can say anything, he grinds his hips against yours, and you moan. You ask shakily, “Y-you’re not too sensitive still?” 

Satoru laughs and begins to slowly thrust into you. “Ha! Are you kidding? My girl just told me she wants to have my kids. I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my entire life.” 

You’re about to playfully roll your eyes when he snaps his hips against yours again and sets a rough pace. You’re a moaning mess, and Satoru’s hard thrusts have you seeing stars. Satoru doesn’t even care that you’re still on birth control, and there’s hardly a sliver of a chance that you could miraculously get pregnant from a faulty medication. None of that matters. He has tunnel vision, and the idea of you pregnant has him crazed. He’s fucking you within an inch of your life. “Fuck, you’re gonna look so good, all round and plump… And your tits are gonna taste even better when they’re swollen with milk.” He latches his mouth onto your nipples and starts sucking and biting.

Long gone is the submissive Satoru who called you ‘mommy’, because now Satoru is hellbent on turning you into a mommy. He’s a man possessed with the way he fucks you. His hardened cock is slamming in and out of you, and all you can do is moan as he fucks your brains out. He chuckles darkly, “Who’s submissive now, huh?” 

You don’t even get the chance to respond since Satoru’s hand makes its way between your thighs and begins to rub your clit harshly just the way you like. You scream out, “Fuck! Satoru, don’t stop. Oh my god…”

Satoru smiles at your moans and continues fucking into you like his life depended on it. The sound of skin slapping echoes through the room, and the bed begins to squeak due to the intensity of Satoru’s thrusts. Neither one of you cares though, too distracted with the feel of each other. As if in a trace, you two fuck as if you’re the only people left in the world. Satoru speeds up the pace of his thrusts as well as his fingers on the bundle of nerves. 

You’re a blubbering mess. “Satoru, fuck, I’m so close.”

Desperately teetering on the verge of your orgasm, you’re desperate for release. Satoru laughs breathlessly as if he’s in a better state than you are. “Can’t hold on anymore? Look who’s- fuck- desperate now.”

An idea comes to mind and you lean in to whisper in Satoru’s ear, “Please let me cum, daddy.”

Satoru cums immediately. He practically bursts. Daddy kinks were one thing, but daddy kinks in the context of you two having a baby together? Fuck, Satoru is reeling. “Shit, oh my god, sweetheart. Take all my seed, fucking cum with me.”

You don’t waste a second and cum immediately after Satoru’s words. “Satoru! You’re so deep inside me- fuck. You’re filling me up so good…” You fight the urge to pass out with how hard your climax was. It seems that you and Satoru are the same in that starting a family has you hornier than ever. 

Once you both come down from your highs, you’re both breathing heavily with Satoru lying comfortably on top of you. You hold one another close and enjoy the feeling of each other’s heartbeats.

Satoru chuckles after a while. “I had a special Valentine’s Day dinner planned for us… but now I think it’s best we just stay in bed.” You laugh as well. 

“All this baby-making practice sure is intense.” You wipe your hair out of your eyes and gasp when Satoru thrusts into you again, cock harder than ever before. “...Satoru?”

He grins. “I guess we’ll just have to keep practicing our baby-making for when you stop your birth control. Practice makes perfect, right?”

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

---

i actually posted when i said i was gonna lol wow that's a first. if you made it this far, thanks for reading and happy belated valentine's day loves <3

[cheesycatz]

Parasitic worm pretends to be your valentine so you don't notice that they're the reason you have 24 days left to live

Wormton AU fic is 190k words now! : )

Nothing crazy new plot wise, more bonding and found family stuff. Obligatory fluff after how much these guys had to go through. I like describing all the sounds he makes when isn't trying to suppress them; chirps, warbles, trills, chirrs, chitters, screeches, snarls, and that weird computer whirring sound he makes that may or may not have the same connotations as purring (sorry I couldn't resist)

I'm excited to go through revisions! It's been so long since I wrote some of this stuff that I don't remember the fine details, so it's genuinely fun for me to read through. Also, I had fun making disguised wormton seem as cursed as possible without actually describing his real form until post-reveal. Blue was probably the only one who didn't think he was some deranged serial killer at first sight, which, fair enough. I was kind of worried about a few very minor original characters I added not being accepted, but then I remembered that Trashy the trash can probably has more speaking lines than any one of them and it probably isn't that big of a deal. I hope you enjoy the one chapter with these three kids putting their LPS animal dolls through the most traumatizing, heart-wrenching, dark story as we all did as children (I promise it's plot relevant and contains symbolism).

Drew some non-canon wormton stuff for Valentine’s Day. I mean, I don't know how you would send a valentine to an elusive homeless man with no official documentation of his existence. The asexually reproducing computer worm guy can't feel anything romantic, but he would love to take advantage of you—gladly accept your lovely gifts. Bro’s just teasing haha he would never inject parasitic worm larvae into your abdomen just don't go to the doctor in the next 24 days please he definitely loves you and not the worms hypothetically eating your organs

“worm.vbs” is a reference to the file type used by the ILOVEYOU worm and other old malware. I only know this because I realized that one of the official spamton valentines from last year contains its exact file name “LOVE-LETTER-FOR-YOU.TXT.vbs”. sharing this trivia because it was like the one reference in those valentines that I didn't see anyone mention back then and because it makes me feel smart

Food for thought:

Honestly, he'd be pretty scary if it weren't for his justified fear of the antivirus forces. Malworm safety is all about avoiding disembodied voices trying to lure you into alleys, so the fact that you can physically see his relatively humanoid disguised form would make him seem dangerously trustworthy. I was thinking about what would've happened if he would've gotten help from the person on the phone (probably gaster I guess? idk). He could've totally been like a cult leader manipulating people into willingly becoming hosts because it was honorable or whatever. And that could combine with the fact that their venom slightly influences the brain. And the followers would've thought he was simply dressing up as a malworm and his fall from grace would've been when they realized he was just a malworm in disguise infecting them and prolonging the invasion. I prefer what I have now; lonely hypothetically-murderous wormton is a lot more redeemable than very-murderous cult leader wormton would be. The addisons, or anyone really, would want nothing to do with him. Fun to think about! And only to think about; I'd rather focus on the version I have now.

See you next time at the big 200k 👀 chapter 3 might actually come out before my multi-book-length spamton fanfiction but don't worry I would never abandon my favorite freak of nature

yappin complete B)

[bnuuyclub]

Let's Talk About Playboy Rabbits!

Yes, they really did exist. Back in the 1980s, when Playboy Clubs were starting to lose business, Christie Hefner had the bright idea to introduce what would come to be known as the male equivalent of Playboy Bunnies—Playboy Rabbits—in order to attract female keyholders. They made their debut at the Empire Club, and they fit right in with the rest of the themed character costumes designed by Bunny June De Young.

Top: Rabbit photo taken by Andy Warhol on the Empire Club's opening night. Bottom: photo clipping from a Newsweek Article.

In October 1985, The New York Times published a story to drum up interest a few weeks before the club had its grand opening. The following was said about Playboy's shiny new Rabbits:

"Rabbit Uniforms are still under wraps, but Richard Melman, who as acting director of the club division of Playboy Enterprises is opening the new club, said that the seats of the uniforms would be padded (for some reason), that Rabbits would almost certainly not wear ears and that the uniforms would be all-American, but sexy, don't worry."

Clearly, Melman had changed his mind by the time the club opened, opting to include one Rabbit costume with ears and a tail. He later described the uniform as "cute" when interviewed by the Chicago Tribune. "I mean, when you get the right guy, it works."

Otherwise, the standard costume for Rabbits consisted of a shirtless tuxedo and white cuffs with Playboy cufflinks to match the Bunny uniforms.

Left: a Statue of Liberty Bunny, two Rabbits, and an Olympian Bodybuilder Bunny surrounding Richard Melman at the center. Right: photo clipping from a New York Post article.

But what did the Rabbits think of it all? To start off, a few of them were interviewed by the same news outlets for their thoughts on this new job opportunity. Their impressions were mostly positive:

"I always wanted to be first. I came to realize that I would not be the first astronaut or the first to hit 62 home runs. This is an honor." - Louis Affenito (first Rabbit hired) for The New York Times.

"A Rabbit projects an image of someone you would like your daughter to date. We don't want hardcore sex appeal but something more subtle. Like when you walk in, you look again." - Benjamin Lucas for Chicago Tribune.

"I wouldn't really classify myself as a sex object. Well, the more I think about it, I guess I would." - Greg Gunsch for United Press International.

I was surprised I was able to find some of the Rabbits' names. Not very many, considering there were roughly 35 of them working at this club, but eventually I came across more information after finding this image in my search:

Hugh Hefner with Bunnies and Rabbits at the Empire Club. Note the variety in uniforms!

You see those guys on the far right in the first picture wearing vests? That would be Jeff Rector and his twin brother, Jerry. If they sound familiar, it's because they both made guest appearances on Star Trek. If they don't sound familiar, it's because they were buried under a bunch of chunky sci-fi prosthetics.

Jeff and Jerry Rector as Tennis Rabbits. It was easier to find work if they played up the twin act. Also, probably the clearest photo of Playboy Rabbits available on the free web...

According to Jeff's autobiography that is currently available on Audible, numerous dancers from the nearby male strip club Chippendales applied for the job, but none were accepted. Playboy was looking for classy, attractive, "boy-next-door" types — about the same as the Bunny standard. He considered it an honor to be working as a Playboy Rabbit.

Jeff Rector's headshot on the cover of his autobiography.

Because the club was waning in popularity and themed nights at other bars were trendy at the time, Jeff was allowed to suggest a handful of new ideas to renew interest. This included a "historical explorer" theme in which he wore an Indiana Jones costume and the Bunnies dressed up as jungle girls! Unfortunately, despite his efforts to liven up the scene, novelty clubs didn't have very long lifespans to begin with. Boys at the Empire Club were only able to enjoy their cottontailed fame for a little over a year before it ended.

During this time, the Bunnies and Rabbits ended up growing very close with one another. In Jeff's own words:

"We had become a family and the family was about to be split up. Where would we go? What would we do? How do you follow up a gig with Playboy?"

After a week of crazy goodbye parties, the Rector twins moved back to LA to resume acting work.

This marked the beginning of the end for Playboy Clubs. The Empire Club officially shut down in 1986, and other locations remained open for a few years, but the last U.S. Playboy Club in Lansing closed its doors by 1988. What a shame!

[bigasswritingmagnet]

Blood Will Out Ch 16 - The Reunion

Summary: When Agatha Sannikova learns she is, in fact, Agatha Heterodyne, she inadvertently kicks off a series of events that reopens old wounds, drags secrets into the light, and brings war to the doorstep of the all but defenseless Mechanicsburg. Saturnus struggles to crush his enemies with a town almost as broken as his body; Agatha, determined to undo the chaos she's unleashed, plunges into the depths of Castle Heterodyne.

Raised by a literal saint and the devil incarnate, Agatha - with an unleashed mind, a burning spark, and a band of very unexpected allies - will fight to do the unthinkable: be a good Heterodyne and a good person.

< Prev chapter | A03 link

Gil managed to get Tarvek pinned to the ground and shout, “I knew you were—!” before Agatha got him in a headlock and hauled him off-balance.

“Stop that!” she shouted as Tarvek scrambled away.

“Hy forgot about him,” Vole muttered. Higgs murmured a slightly sheepish agreement.

“What are you doing here?” Tarvek demanded. “How did you even – do you have any idea how dangerous this place is?”

Gil broke free of Agatha’s grip and shoved her away, barely looking at her.

“I heard what you did! Trying to kidnap someone and then lying about it, and who even knows what else! I knew I had to stop you, because they’d never see you coming, you lying, traitorous, weas—!”

This time, it was Tarvek who tackled Gil. He had significantly less success pinning Gil down, but held his own as Gil struggled to break free, or at least get enough space to draw back a fist. 

“I never did anything to you!” Tarvek screamed. “All I wanted to do was help—” 

Gil tried to cover Tarvek’s mouth with his hand. “Shut up! Shut up, you liar! The Baron told me exactly what you are!”

Tarvek let out a sound somewhere between a howl and wail and bit down on Gil’s hand.

A cascade of water hit them, leaving both boys coughing and sputtering. A shadow fell over them, and they looked up to see Agatha with her fists on her hips, glaring down at them.

“Thank you, Mr. Higgs,” she said, not looking around. 

“Ma’am,” Higgs said, setting the now empty bucket down. 

“I do not have time for this,” Agatha said to them, sternly. She pointed at Gil. “You. Get off of him.”

Slowly, sullenly, Gil obeyed, and he and Tarvek got to their feet. While Tarvek was Agatha’s height, Gil had a few inches on her, and several pounds of muscle on them both. The way Agatha was glaring, she somehow managed to loom over him all the same.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my castle?”

“I’m Gilgamesh Holzfäller. I came here to stop Tarvek from—”

“I wasn’t going to—!”

“Ah-ah!” Agatha interrupted, holding up a hand. She shut her eyes and inhaled deeply. When she opened them, she had…changed. Neither Tarvek nor Gil recognized it, but the castle did. Higgs did. Even Vole did.

Whatever their feelings about the girl, all three felt nothing but honored to bear witness as – after years of having roots trimmed and new growth cut away – a Heterodyne began to bloom. 

“My town is under attack. I need to fix the castle. Tarvek has been helping me, and I need his help, so whatever you think he did, too bad.”

“But you have to—!”

“Have to?” Agatha repeated. Her eyes blazed and her jaw clenched. She knew how to respond to that one. Lord Satur— Her grandfather had said it often enough, and right now Agatha felt it in every bone in her body. She bit the most important words back.  “Have to? I am the ward of Master Saturnus Heterodyne and Lady Teodora Vodenicharove! You are an intruder in my town, in my home!  I can do whatever I want, and I do not have to do anything!”

“Bu—” Gil began. 

She pointed imperiously at both of them.

“Whatever your problem is, you both put a sock in it until all of this is over, because I don’t have time for it. If you can’t do that, get out, or wait here until I do have time to get someone to escort you to safety. If you are going to help, you have to be gracious.”

“Gr/gracious?” the clank repeated, baffled.

“Dot vill be de Lady Teodora talkink,” Vole said from the corner of his mouth.

“You already know I’m here to help you,” Tarvek said. He shot a nasty glare at Gil, who shot one right back.

“Well, I know he’s up to something, and I’m not letting him out of my sight until he does it."

“Do it in a polite and respectful manner!” Agatha ordered. “As long as you’re in my castle, you will behave like civilized gentlemen. Understand?”

They both nodded, still shooting each other vicious glares.

She swiveled on her heel to face the others.

“Now what?” 

“N/Now we go to th/the li/library. Foll/follow me.”

“Just admit we’re lost,” Higgs said.

“We are no/not lost!” the castle snapped. “I cannot get lost withi/in my own wa/wa/lls! The rooms have/ave simply been mov/mov/rearranged in my ab/absence!” 

Agatha felt that must be the case. No matter how uncharitable one might want to be, there was no denying that 'all these hallways look the same' was not a viable complaint for anyone. Each Heterodyne had left their mark, whether in design or decoration. One hallway had snakes - carved into the crown molding, twining around light fixtures, taxidermied into poses alternately intimidating and unsettling. Another had been built perfectly symmetrical, and had managed to remain so even in the destruction. Mirrors had cracked in the exact same pattern, statues were missing the same pieces, and rugs unravelled so tidily it was hard to believe it was not intentional.  

They had settled, mostly unconsciously, into a formation: Higgs and the Castle/Muse hybrid in the front, Vole bringing up the rear, the Heterodyne and her associates in the protected middle. Gil and Tarvek had been very consciously ordered to walk on either side of Agatha after the second slapfight had broken out.

“I’m pretty sure I saw that pillar before.”

“Do you/you want to le/lead?”

“Little bit.”

“Wait,” Tarvek said suddenly, bringing them to a halt. He cocked his head to one side. “Shh. Listen.”

“I don’t hear anything,” Gil said irritably. Tarvek was listening too hard to be snippy back. 

“Me either. I think the fighting’s stopped.”

“What?” Agatha said. “You can’t tell me your father just gave up!”

Vole fished out a pocket watch and glanced at it. “No, dey is probably just stopping for de night.”

“You can’t call time out in the middle of a war!” Agatha exclaimed.

“Sure hyu can, especially if hyu can’t see in de dark. Efferybody splits up und goes to sleep und den dey is rested for fighting in de morning.”

Agatha looked at Higgs, who nodded.

“That’s crazy!” Agatha sputtered. “That’s—! You—! What!”

“You have to sleep if you want to keep your strength up. And speakin’ of, maybe you three should put your heads down for a bit.”

“We can’t go to sleep!” Agatha protested. “I have to fix the castle!”

“They can/cannot stop now. I must/must be repaired.”

“They’ll be a lot less likely to bolt you in upside down if they have a nap first,” Higgs pointed out.

The clank hesitated, the tips of its wings flicking uncertainly.

“Well,” it said grudgingly. “When you put it/it that w/way.”

Vole made a face. “Lord Heterodyne is not gon be happy about dis.”

“He’s going to be a lot less happy if he doesn’t get his castle back,” Agatha said, and rubbed at her face. With her momentum lost, her shoulders sagged. “’M hungry,” she mumbled.

“C’mon,” Higgs said, and changed directions. Down another hallways, and then he ducked into a room and waved for them to follow. 

It was a bedroom, dominated by a four-poster bed. Agatha guessed that it might have been some kind of guest bedroom, as the furniture selection had the slightly disjointed feeling of being things you didn't want to get rid of, but didn't like enough to use every day. The bedposts, for example, were carved to look like they had simple vines twining around them. Beautiful, but not particularly exciting - the flowers depicted weren't even the poisonous kind. The sturdy wardrobe in the corner couldn't walk on its carved wooden feet, and the rug was, under the dust, attractive colors in a pretty pattern that did not make you feel like your eyeballs were being dragged from your skull.   

Like everything else, it had seen better days – the bed curtains and blankets were moth-eaten, and one of the posts had snapped, leaving everything hanging at a wild angle. Agatha recoiled as Higgs approached it.

“What if it has rats in it?” she whined. Gil and Tarvek nodded vigorously, noticed they had agreed on something, and glared at each other.

“Hyu should be so lucky,” Vole said dryly.

“I’ll make something up,” Higgs said. He looked to Vole. “Think you can find a kitchen from here? Good. You go get them something to eat, I’ll take care of this."

“And wh/what am I/I suppo/osed to do?” the castle demanded.

“You stand guard outside the door and try not to be annoying, if you think you can do that without blowing a circuit.”

“You/you are ver/ver/much ruder than I rem/remember.”

“It’s been a rough day for everyone,” Higgs said flatly.

Both Vole and the clank turned to leave; the castle flicked its wings out enough to block Vole from passing it, but couldn’t fold them back up properly and had to shuffle out the door sideways while Vole snickered.

The teenagers huddled up against the wall, Agatha once again the bulwark between the two boys, and watched Higgs as he began to strip the bed. He was examining each piece of the bedclothes very carefully, looking for something – they did not know what, and he did not volunteer the information. Anything that passed the test was tossed into a pile in the middle of the floor; the rest went onto the bed. When all the blankets and sheets had been sorted, Higgs went to the wardrobe and repeated the process.

“The castle knows him?” Tarvek whispered.

“He said he was from Mechanicsburg,” Gil murmured.

“But the way he talks to it is weird. And he just walked right in here without any trouble. Vole’s a Jäger—”

“Jäger-shaped,” Agatha corrected.

“Fine, Jäger-shaped. But he’s just...he looks like just a human.”

Higgs began to construct makeshift bedrolls out of the blankets that had matched his mysterious standards. As he did so, he glanced up and, seemingly without meaning to, met Tarvek’s eyes. Tarvek felt his stomach go tight. The look in those eyes was not threatening or dangerous, but told Tarvek that while he was not quite in over his head, he was sinking rapidly and should perhaps abandon ship and strike out for shore.

Tarvek looked away.

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” he muttered. He wondered if Higgs realized how much of a mistake that had been. Perhaps he had weighed the dangers of warning Tarvek off against Tarvek saying something he shouldn’t; perhaps he simply hadn’t realized Tarvek was very, very good at this.

Because Higgs might as well have told Tarvek to his face that he was right, there was something strange about him, and it was a secret, and the secret was big enough that he would be willing to hurt or even kill Tarvek to keep it that way.

“What do you mean, Vole’s Jӓger-shaped?” Gil demanded. “You’re either a Jäger or you aren’t.”

“He used to be. The generals threw him out because he tried to kill the Heterodyne Boys.”

A pause.

“What?”

Agatha shushed them both, irritably.

“Keep your voices down! The castle doesn’t know – and you two are not going to tell it. I need all the help I can get in here, and the castle will absolutely crush him if it finds out. The Heterodyne Boys forgive him for it, even though he swore to get his revenge and...” Agatha waved a hand in an “and so on” gesture.

“Then why is he helping you?” Gil demanded.

“He’s not helping me. He’s helping my— He's helping Master Saturnus.” She paused, and glared at Gil. “And you don’t tell anyone that. Especially not the Baron.”

“Then he is still a Jäger!”

“No, he isn’t,” Agatha said, in the tones of a Mechanicsburger explaining something that was perfectly sensible and blatantly obvious – to them. “Jägers swear the Jägertroth and serve the Heterodyne family. Vole broke the troth, but he helps Master Saturnus, specifically." She frowned. “Although Master Saturnus was surprised. He thought Vole hated him, too...Mr. Higgs?”

Higgs looked up.

“Do you know what happened with Vole? Why Master Saturnus thinks it’s his fault?”

“What makes you think I know?”

“You’re old enough to have been around when it happened. Aren’t you?”

“I am that,” the airman said, mysteriously amused. “What did he tell you?”

“I asked once, but he didn’t want to talk about it, just that it was his fault. Vole wouldn’t say anything except that it wasn’t his fault – but I think Master Saturnus must have done something bad, because he never thinks anything is his fault.” 

“Is that all Vole said?”

“He said it was very personal.”

“Huh,” Higgs said, genuinely surprised. After a moment, he went back to arranging the blankets. “S’pose it is.”

“You’re not going to tell me either, are you?” Agatha complained.

Higgs was quiet for a moment. He finished arranging the blankets and rose, moving to sit down on the bed. He took out his pipe, but did not light it.

“There was a…misunderstanding between Vole and Master Saturnus. Saturnus felt that should be taken into consideration. The generals…didn’t.”

There was a long silence.

Tarvek was thinking that once again, Higgs had said more than he likely intended to say. For one, Higgs had the apparent age of someone who would have been young when the Heterodyne Boys came to power – perhaps not a child, but certainly not a full adult. Certainly not old enough to hold any kind of position that would let him be privy to the Jӓgers’ secrets.

Agatha was thinking something very different.

“Did Master Saturnus ask him to kill his sons?”

“No,” Higgs said, immediately.

He din’ need to ask. Hy alvays know. Dot’s vy Hy iz…

“But Vole thought he did,” Agatha said.  

“Yes,” Higgs said. “Vole wanted him to ask him; I think he would’ve tried it eventually, on his own. The generals thought so, too, so they threw him out. Saturnus couldn’t stop them – wasn’t his call to make.”  

“How do you think someone is asking you to commit murder?” Gil demanded. Tarvek raised an eyebrow.

“Extremely easily,” he said. “Especially if both parties are familiar with each other.”

“And you’d know all about that,” Gil sneered.

“And he and Vole were very familiar with each other,” Agatha said to Higgs.

“No offence meant, but I’d say ‘bout the closest things to friends your average old school Heterodyne could have.”

“I believe it,” Agatha said dryly. “Honestly, I’m surprised they were close enough that Vole even thought he could guess what Master Saturnus was thinking.”

“That’s the thing,” Higgs said. “Vole didn’t think he could guess. He could. I’d never known him to be wrong, til that night.” He glanced at Gil and Tarvek, then away. “This ain’t my story to tell. And it ain’t somethin’ you need to worry about. ‘S not somethin’ you can fix, not the way you’re thinkin’.”

“I guess you’re right,” Agatha said with a sigh. “It’s none of my business.”

It made sense that she would care about her grandfather’s guilt, but she cared about Vole’s side of things, too. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps because she and Vole both cared about Saturnus, in their own different ways. Perhaps it felt unfair to punish him for something he might have done, even if the might was a probably.

“Besides,” Tarvek said, “he’s not a Jäger anymore. That means he’s not your responsibility.”

Agatha said nothing to that. No, he wasn’t a Jӓger. He wasn’t really a citizen of Mechanicsburg, either. He’d shown nothing to her but indifference, and she couldn’t say she particularly liked him as a person, so it wasn’t as if they were friends. And yet…

She did not notice Higgs noticing that she did not say she agreed.

[slcmml]

charlie & reader. fluff, slightly suggestive.

★ charlie is usually fine being away for work—he’s used to traveling, used to filming for days at a time—but being away from you? suddenly, it’s the worst thing in the world.

★ the moment he gets to cali for chuckle sandwich recording, his phone is practically glued to his hand. texting you between takes, sending voice memos, calling when he has even five spare minutes.

★ you’re just as bad. even though you’re busy with your own work, you keep checking your phone, sending him messages like:

you: i miss u so much baby :(

charlie: miss u more, babe <3 i hate it here w/o u

you: don’t let schlatt bully u too much lol

charlie: too late. he said my hair looks stupid.

you: gaslight him into thinking he’s bald.

charlie: ur so smart. this is why i love u.

★ facetime calls at night where both of you are half-asleep, but neither of you want to hang up first.

★ “just stay on the phone,” charlie mumbles, voice thick with sleep. “i don’t care if you’re quiet, just wanna feel like ‘m with you.”

★ when you finally get time to call during the day, charlie’s grinning like an idiot the second your face pops up on his screen. “holy shit, you’re even prettier than i remember,” he teases, making you roll your eyes.

★ you both send each other the dumbest updates. blurry selfies, random thoughts, voice messages that are just exaggerated sighs of longing.

you: wish i could be in ur arms rn.

charlie: wish i could kiss ur dumb face.

you: wish i could hold ur hand and rub circles into ur palm like u like.

charlie: wish i could bite u. nom nom.

you: BABE.

charlie: morning, baby. how’d you sleep?

you: not great. bed feels weird without you.

charlie: mine too. i kept reaching out for you last night :(

you: we are so pathetic.

charlie: mhm. now gimme a kiss.

you: mwah.

charlie: not enough. i need like. ten.

you: mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah. <3

charlie: much better. i’ll be thinking about that all day.

charlie: wish i could burrow into ur skin and live there forever.

you: what the fuck.

charlie: don’t act like u wouldn’t let me.

you: no i absolutely would.

charlie: see? we’re the same.

charlie: i miss u so bad i might start chewing on furniture.

you: wish that was me.

charlie: chewing on furniture?

you: no, in ur mouth.

charlie: oh my god.

★ if either of you have a bad day, the other immediately drops everything to comfort them over the phone. charlie’s voice is soft, sweet, telling you how much he loves you, how proud he is of you, how he wishes he could hold you.

★ sometimes you both get really freaky over text but it’s either the most unserious conversation ever or it’s the neediest conversation ever?

charlie: [selfie]

you: oh my fucking god u are so handsome im gonna jerk it so hard tonight

charlie: oh word? u better bc im thinking abt u rn and i might just bust it down sensually in ur honor

you: i need u so bad rn :(

charlie: yeahh? what do u need baby ill do my best to please u <3

you: [selfie]

charlie: gonna go absolutely feral in the bathroom thinking abt this

you: dont threaten me w a good time

★ the moment he’s done with recording and you’re done with work, the countdown begins.

charlie: TWO MORE DAYS BABY I’M GONNA KISS U SO HARD WHEN I SEE U

you: not if i kiss u first, been waiting all week for that shit

★ when you’re finally back together? oh, you’re not leaving each other’s side for at least a week. fully attached at the hip, constantly touching, making up for every second apart.

© slcmml

[foodiegoogie]

𝐎𝟏: 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐧 | 𝟏.𝟖𝐤

in which james is a menace about borrowing your mini fan but you let him anyway

note: hii so this turned out to be longer than intended,, but ive been thinking abt doing a james potter x reader blurb series set in high school for sooo many months now ! hopefully this will be the first of many :3 enjoy <33

series masterlist | main masterlist

There's been a festive buzz surrounding the entire campus and student body since you arrived this morning. As soon as you’d stepped inside your classroom, your classmates ran amok, fussing over different things all at once. Typical sportsfest fever, you thought as you put your bag down in your chair. In one corner, a couple girls in your class were putting face paint on themselves for the parade around school. In another corner, the artsy clique made a few more touches on the banners they started making just two days ago. It was chaos at its finest, but it was energetic, and so happy. How could you ever complain about being surrounded by it?

As you went on to put your makeshift headband on, a strip of pink ribbon (pink, because that was the color assigned to the senior batch. Ironic how the oldest of the students will be donning such a… vibrant color during a competitive time), a pair of hands suddenly grab your shoulders, giving you a little shake, and a fright.

“Ah—!”

You turn your head in time just to see Lily Evans doubling over in laughter at your reaction, fiery red hair pulled up into a high ponytail with thin strips of pink ribbon. On her face sits a sign that she’s gone to the girls who were doing face paint—two hollow hearts drawn on her cheeks. 

“Sorry,” She says, but the way she’s still chuckling makes you think otherwise. “but the opportunity was there!” 

“A ‘good morning’ would’ve been just fine,” You grumble under your breath, securing your headband by tying it beneath your hair.

But then Lily slaps your hands away and tuts, “Here, let me,” just like how a fussing mother would do, and a scoff escapes your lips. You raise your hands up in surrender and let her do the honor.

You take a look around the classroom, and realize that there are fewer people inside than when you just came, “Where’s the rest of us at?”

“Probably down at the quad or with the other classes,” Lily answers, pushing your hair aside to work on tying the ribbon. “Even though we’re technically supposed to stick with each other. But you know, rules are overrated, I guess.” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, though she can’t see your face. “Aren’t you supposed to round them up since you’re vice president and all?”

“No, I think you’re forgetting that I’m assistant president, as per President Potter.” She remarks, her tone heavy with sarcasm.

Ah, yes. Of course. President Potter, how could I forget?

Now that you think about it, you hadn’t seen him in the classroom when you came in. That must explain why the chaos didn’t seem too chaotic. The primary instigator of it all was absent. 

“Speaking of which, where is the tosser?” You ask.

“Also probably at the quad, hyping up our class and being the loudest of the bunch.” 

You chuckle, already forming an image in your mind of James Potter, probably standing on top of something so that everyone could literally look up at him, spewing words of encouragement as if he were a general leading an army to war, or Gru when he told the Minions that they were going to steal the moon. 

“Probably,” You agree, turning around to face Lily once she put your hair back in place and combed it slightly with her fingers. “I wouldn’t put it past him if he did a battle cry right now.”

As if on cue, you heard a resounding cheer coming from outside. It seems like the parade was about to start, and the students were all revved up and ready to go.

“Well, that’s our cue,” Lily beams at you, moving to stand beside you and link your arms together. “You ready to go?”

“One sec…” You rummage around your bag with your free hand, spotting your phone and tucking it inside your pocket. Finally, you grabbed your mini fan from the side pocket and turned to Lily with a smile.

“Ready.” 

( ♡ )

“GO! GO, GRYFFINDOR! GO! GO, GRYFFINDOR!”

You tried to keep up with the cheering, but two minutes in or so of initially running, and then walking out onto the streets around your school, surrounded by your fellow sweaty students with the heat of the morning sun shining down on you—well, it was a lot harder to do it now, to say the least.

Lily had long since removed her arm from how it was linked with yours a while ago, now trudging along beside you with the crowd, fanning herself with a banner she folded up. 

“I forgot how dreadful this is,” She heaved, tucking a damp strand of hair behind her ear. Miraculously, despite the layer of sweat on her face, the painted hearts stayed intact. But they did nothing to hide her exhaustion. “Why do we even need to do this? Can’t the athletes do this alone?” 

“Well, God knows they’d be better at it,” You panted, bringing your mini fan closer to your face. “They’ve probably got the legs for it.”

Lily huffs a breathless chuckle at that. “Yeah, no kidding—“ 

“Coming through!” 

You hear the voice sound from a megaphone, wincing at the high-pitched feedback that came after, and then the string of apologies that were uttered as whoever it was that spoke weaved their way through the crowd.

From beside you, Lily visibly deflates like a popped balloon, rolling her eyes as she leaned in closer to you. “Uh oh, here he comes.” 

The he in question came in the form of James Potter, wearing a bright pink shirt that said ‘ALPHA MALE’ in big bold letters outlined in blue, surrounded by rainbow sparkles with a unicorn above it, which posed in front of an actual rainbow. He had two streaks of pink paint drawn across both of his cheeks, and wore a pink bandana which held his hair back from his forehead. 

It truly was a ridiculous sight to see your big, burly classmate all dressed up in pastel pink colors. But the horror truly began when he spotted both you and Lily.

“My officers!” He cried out, pushing through the crowd to get to where you were. If anything, it was too late to avoid him, and it didn’t seem like you had anywhere else to go. Even if you did, you doubt that you’d get there in time with how your legs feel like jelly right now.

You and Lily chorus with a disgruntled groan of protest as James finally catches up to the both of you, slinging his arms across your shoulders. 

“Oh, how lovely it is to see you guys,” He sighed deeply in exaggerated relief. It certainly didn’t help that he was also sweating buckets of water, but you couldn’t do much against it with his tight grip on you both.

James turned to Lily with a lopsided grin, “Assistant president,” he greeted her.

She responded with a grunt, wriggling out of his grip and successfully escaping his company. Not without an apologetic glance sent your way, Lily went deeper into the crowd to find her other friends.

James scoffed, clearly affronted. “Rude.” 

Then, he turned to you, smirking as his eyes looked you up and down. You did not feel your prettiest at the moment, but honestly, you couldn’t care less about your appearance right now, given the circumstances.

“Secretary,” He finally greeted you, his voice taking on a lower octave.

You didn’t like how your heart thumped a little louder in your chest by it.

“Yeah, that’s me. Now, do you mind?” You gestured to his arms around your shoulders, still tight and terribly warm. Under different circumstances, maybe you wouldn’t complain. But you’re already taking on your own sweat on your body, and having more of it was simply unacceptable.

But James, of course, ignored your question and gestured to your mini fan. “Can I borrow that for a bit? It’s so hot out here.”

You gave him a sidelong glance, taken aback by his audacity—

“No. Go borrow someone else’s.” 

You received a groan from James, throwing his head back and giving you a brief glance of his neck, glistening with bullets of sweat. You turned away before you looked for longer than necessary.

“But no one else is as nice as you!” He reasoned, tilting his head to the side to meet your eyes. “Please let me borrow?” 

You sighed, and James victoriously beams at you because he knows you’ve given in now. “Fine, fine. Here.”

He stares down at the fan in your hand, stretched out in front of him. You’re waiting for him to take it from you, he realizes.

“Well?” You bring it up closer to him. “Aren’t you gonna take it?”

“Um…” James purses his lips, looking sheepish, or at least seemed like he did. ‘Sheepish’ and ’James’ hardly ever belonged in the same sentence.

“Could you hold it for me? I’ve been holding the banner all morning, and my hand’s all sore and splintered.”

His hand looks fine where he held it up to your face to show you.

But, as much as James was starting to get on your nerves, you’d rather save the breath to complain and instead, complied and held the fan up to his face, effectively (and begrudgingly) cooling him down.

James lets out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes as the air blows against his face. “That’s the stuff. Thanks, Y/N.” 

You shake your head, sighing at your unfortunate fate as James Potter’s personal mini fan holder for the time being. 

Honestly speaking, you were sort of glad that Lily wasn’t around to witness such a spectacle. Knowing her, she’d tease the hell out of you and then James would probably play along, and milk in the attention. 

Another reason, however, was that you wouldn’t be able to deny that she was right. 

Outwardly, you may be indifferent and irritated by James’ utterly bizarre behavior. But internally? Well, you were afraid to admit that you found him endearing at times, and charming. So charming. It also didn’t help that he had a nice face to look at, and a body built like a god, shaped from years of sports and the occasional trip to the gym. 

But you’d rather die than admit all that aloud. 

“You know, you should really get one of your own since you need it so badly.” You suggest, gesturing to the fan in your hand.

“Ah, but if I did have my own fan, I wouldn’t be around to borrow yours. Then you’ll miss me.” James pouts, bottom lip jutting out to make himself look pitiful.

Well, let’s just say that he wasn’t totally wrong about that. So, you said nothing and rolled your eyes, while James just chuckled and finally, finally took the mini fan from your hand, and made it face you instead. 

thanks for reading! \(￣︶￣*\)) likes, replies, and reblogs are very much appreciated ~

[fearcutsdeeper]

Hi, I’ve really been enjoying your Temeraire posting! I saw in the tags of one of your posts recently (I think the one about the Laurence+Rankin friendship era in book one) that you read Laurence as autistic and the idea really tickled my brain! I’m a new fan of the series and I haven’t thought of him that way before, but now that you pointed it out it makes so much sense. I was wondering if you’d be willing to elaborate a bit on that reading of his character? It’s a super interesting idea and I’d love to hear more of your thoughts if you feel like sharing!

Absolutely!!! The first time I read the books I was really flying through them and too caught up in the character arc I could feel taking shape before my eyes to really dwell on the character as he is, if that makes sense. I'm reading more slowly this time and really considering his thoughts and actions in context, and they feel... like, very relatable to me in a specific way.

(Disclaimer: this is a personal reading, not trying to claim this is an objective truth about the character or anything, etc)

One thing about the way a lot of people discuss autistic or perceived-as-autistic characters is that they'll recognize them as autistic based on straightforward expression of symptoms/traits that you might read off a list. This isn't doing it wrong or anything, and the characters in question can easily be read as autistic! But those aren't usually the characters I see myself in.

I'll pretty often start seeing a character as autistic not because they're outwardly showing symptoms, but because their behavior strikes me as learned compensation for symptoms. Data from Star Trek is very frequently seen as autistic coded not just because of his frequently expressed lack of understanding for social conventions but also because he then explicitly writes himself new subroutines to account for what he learns. A lot of autistic people (including myself) go through their lives kind of accumulating "scripts" – like, oh, I seem to have missed that X was a signal, but the person's reaction tells me that the appropriate response would have been Y. Next time I encounter X, I will do Y.

Now, Will Laurence builds his ENTIRE LIFE around the elaborate rules of British propriety and honor and duty. He tells us that he enjoys Society – "conversation, dancing, and friendly whist were his favorite pursuits". All three things listed are, in Georgian wealthy society, things with a strict and learnable structure and rules – he likes when what he's supposed to do is clearly laid out for him! He's in I think his late thirties when the series starts. I'm basically reading him as an autistic man who realized that people didn't make sense to him the way they did to other children and then spent his entire life Learning The Rules so no one would notice.

Every time he's engaging with propriety and Proper Behavior, he's thinking very consciously about it. And when someone else violates his understanding of the rules, he's internally scrambling for the proper response, because his script has been disrupted. (My personal favorite it when he'll go "the only satisfactory response would be a challenge to duel but I'm not allowed anymore")

So, he's been doing this all his life, he's learned all the rules for the life track he's put himself on (which is a highly structured one!), and then, boom, the plot hits.

The Rules of aviator society are totally different. Laurence is affronted and scrambling. I find it notable that Berkley basically plows right through Laurence's attempts at propriety and immediately starts talking to him like he would any other aviator, and it WORKS. Laurence is kind of taken aback, because his rules would interpret the way he's being spoken to as an insult, but Berkley certainly isn't acting like he means to give insult, so Laurence doesn't respond like he's received one. There's also the bit where he notes that the woman serving him has violated protocol by greeting him instead of being silent – but he returns the greeting and isn't offended.

He's mirroring like hell! (This is a common autistic trait.) He's working out what the expected behavior is and returning it as much as he can manage. And when he's with Rankin, he reverts to his society scripts, with so much relief that he ignores some warning signs.

And this makes his whole arc of disillusionment with the British Government SO interesting, because Laurence, I think anyone would agree, takes the honor that the government pays lip service to dramatically more seriously than most members of the government and Admiralty. And, until he gets the truth shoved in his face, he has enormous trouble conceiving of that. It really reads as autistic to me – like, what do you MEAN the elaborate system of morals you told me to structure my personality around is only window dressing to you? It's sure as hell not window dressing to me!

In this reading, in addition to all the other incredible things that his story is about, it's also about an autistic guy becoming increasingly uncomfortably aware that the systems of rules and parameters which he painstakingly learned and have successfully guided him through most of his life are fundamentally in conflict with each other, and eventually being forced at gunpoint to decide which of those rules really truly matter, throw out the rest, and rebuild from scratch.

Which is to say: my man is in hell. At least he has a dragon?

[fangdokja]

I don't know if anyone else has told you this, but you are a really captivating writer. Maybe it's just me, but when I read your writing I feel genuine fear, it is almost as if I've jumped into the screen and experiencing the story myself.

Hook, line, and sinker, I am reeled in by your words. Thank you for sharing your talent to the world!

WARNING: Semi-formal rambling + Library Recommendations, based on what emotions you want to awaken inside you.

Aww, very wholesome message, Anon :)). That’s very nice of you. I’m honored you think of me as a captivating writer, your genuine support and honesty it’s appreciated. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to leave such and encouraging message here with me, thank you.

Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. I’ve gotten comments even from those who have read horror and yandere content for years, and don’t react or feel much, even personality-wise. They did say that they felt genuinely afraid or immersed in the story.

And now you too. That honestly makes me so happy :)). I always aim to create extremely immersive stories, characters, and worlds after all. Especially grounded in some form of moral grounds and logical world building, even if it takes place in a fantasy setting.

One of my musts as a write is that I always want my Readers to actually live in the role, to feel that they’re actually in the stories. Fully immersed and not simply reading it passively, or as a third person with a safety net. Especially when it comes to horror yandere content.

Whenever I write, I always aim to awaken and touch the emotions of people. Whatever emotion I’m aiming like for Yandere! Valentines! Special:

Yandere! Valentines Special

Novella : Red Roses, Black Hearts

This Valentine’s, your heart might be the last thing you give away.

Yandere! Yan-Apocalypse

Drabbles

The perfect Valentine’s present: something personal, thoughtful, and won’t scream anymore.

And Yandere! Otome Game, it’s full of dark humor and comedy.

Yandere! Otome Game

♡ Characters Included. Yandere! Crown Prince, Archduke, Supreme Mage, Demon King, War Hero, Master Thief, Enemy Spy, Demon Assassin

Drabbles

How do you escape a yandere harem? Asking for a very distressed friend (me).

How to Turn ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ Into a Very Literal Situation.

"Romance is a garbage genre, but if I have to play, I might as well do it on easy mode."

The love interests were bad. The backup plans are worse.

One of them wants to marry you. The other wants to make sure he never does.

Headcanons 1 : How to Survive a Reverse Harem (You Don’t) (General)

I hate it here.

System: “Would you like to resume the main storyline?” You click ‘No.’ They click ‘Yes.’

Imagine hating me so much that you chase me across lifetimes. Imagine being that obsessed.

It’s made to make people laugh and enjoy lighthearted feels. Dark humor is my lightest yandere content, and people love it. They laugh, enjoy, comment, etc. I consider it a huge success already for me if you found it funny or amusing.

Other times, I aim for fear, dread, panic, feelings meant to be inspired in horror. The best Yanderes for this would be my personal “Unhinged Yandere Collection”.

Other people already freaked out a bit in Yandere! Alpha! Hybrid Wolf.

Yandere! Alpha! Wolf Hybrid & Little Omega

Drabbles

“You look prettier when you cry.”

“Do you know what I love most about you?”

“You don’t get to decide anymore,”

“And treasures don’t get to escape.”

“You’re waiting for someone to come for you, aren’t you?”

“Cry for me,”

“But don’t worry, darling. I’ll fill it with something better. Me.”

“You’ll only ever have one choice with me,”

Novelette 1 : Marked and Mated

🔞Run all you want, little omega—I love the chase.

But the truly unhinged Yanderes I have? We currently have three who are part of this collection: Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss...

Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss

♡ Main Story. 🔞"I trusted you, wife, and now I'll teach you what betrayal feels like."

Headcanons 1 : The Bride of Blood (General)

To him, you're perfect. To you, he's just a mission.

🔞"I don't need your love, I need your submission."

And, Yandere! Author.

Yandere! Author

Headcanons 1 : Fate’s Final Draft (General)

He’s the hero in his own story… and you’re his latest toy.

🔞"You like happy endings? Too bad. I don’t write those."

There’s a third one, but those are major spoilers lol.

Or how about sadness, despair, and pain? Yandere! College! Bully did really well in this, which was what I was aiming for.

Yandere! College! Bully & Loser

Oneshots

The worst part? You’ve stopped trying to fight it.

Novella 1 : Torn Between Us

In a world where no one cares, he’s the one who notices you… and that’s frightening.

Trust no one. Not even yourself.

Or maybe bittersweet and wholesome? Comforting, realistic, yet warmly wholesome. Ironic considering the character I wrote it for. Yandere! Light Yagami.

Light Yagami

Novella 1 : In the Name of Love

Two hearts, one unspoken promise—forever best friends.

The sweetest kisses are often the most dangerous.

And of course, we have the gaslighters who make you question reality, full on gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

Scaramouche / Wanderer / Kunikuzushi

Novella 1 : Lover or Captor?

Your body is chained, but your mind? Still free. Or is it?

Mixed Character Stories

You tried to break up with him… but did you ever really want to? (Chrollo Lucilfer, Johan Liebert, Geto Suguru)

I’m genuinely curious on what your favorite story is or who your favorite characters are, Anon. This is just me usually being curious on my Readers’ personal takes and perspectives. Plain curiosity. You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or the like. Just have fun and relax, you’ve already done a lot just with leaving me this wholesome message :))

Haha, I liked how your described your feelings. “Hook, line, and sinker, I am reeled in by your words.” That makes me sound like a fisherman, and also reminds me of the verse, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men (Matthew 4:19).”

And no need to thank me. You’re welcome though. This also goes for all my Readers. The thanks is appreciated, but don’t need to thank me or anything. I enjoy writing, it’s healing for me. It’s not as if it’s a job or anything. I’m genuinely happy writing stories.

And, honestly? I’m genuinely shocked how much people are reading my stories. Engaging and even being genuinely impacted it, makes me really happy. It honestly feels like I’m running my very own social entrepreneurship project. Technical terms, it’s not. But, just the vibes.

Nevertheless, thank you for all the support. From you, Anon, and to the rest of my Readers.

Thank you very much for reading, immersing yourselves in my stories, having fun and relaxing, commenting, reblogging, and sharing your thoughts with me.

Actually all of you Readers have varying personalities. Most of you are lurkers, but it’s interesting to see this growing diversity in community.

∘₊✧ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐒 ✧₊∘

❝ 𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘣 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘥 & 𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘦. ❞ (✦ 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚅𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙻𝙸𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝙷𝙴𝙳𝙾𝙽𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚂 ✦)

I’m well aware it’s not really a social hub, which is why I’m genuinely shocked with the influx of inbox messages. Though, even then, it’s a generally quiet community. And that’s alright. I don’t want any of you to feel pressured to engage beyond just reading if it makes you uncomfortable. All I want for each of you is to just relax and enjoy the stories here. It’s your digression if you want to do more or less. No worries. And no need to feel pressured with outside factors and people.

Life is already difficult enough as it is, so think of it as a breather in a life that’s always moving, always asking for more. In a way, it’s about appreciating the moment and present, the blessings you have. And slowing down to think, ponder, and relax in immersion.

Hope that’s understandable.

But if you want the short answer?

Please do continue to have fun and relax in The Library Of Forbidden Texts.

We welcome you all here. Whether you crave our dark humor cafe snacks, or the sophisticated erotic horror dining, we have it all here for you to enjoy.

All you have to do is read and relax. :))

[ladyhoneydarlinglove]

{one piece, zosan, ficlet} chocolate

so uh. the ficlet i posted yesterday got WAY more engagement than i was expecting and i can't thank everyone enough for the likes, reblogs, and tag comments!! they definitely made my day, so have this little ditty that i threw together last night in honor of valentine's day! ~~~~~ Rating: G Notes: pre-relationship “Oi, mosshead,” Sanji said to Zoro as the swordsman entered the Merry’s galley, no doubt on the prowl for some post-nap booze. “Come here, I want you to try something.”

Zoro paused, eyes narrowing as he turned to look at Sanji. “Why me?”

“Because it’s for you, dipshit,” Sanji snapped. “And stop giving me that look. I’m not going to poison you.”

Zoro’s eyes remained narrowed as he approached the kitchen counter, clearly suspicious of Sanji’s invitation. Sanji bit back the urge to say anything, reminding himself that he needed Zoro to be complacent if this little scheme of his was going to work. So instead of spitting out some choice insults like he wanted to, Sanji slid a small plate with a few dark brown squares on it towards Zoro and said, “Here.”

As predicted, Zoro scowled deeply, first at the plate and then at Sanji. “Why are you trying to feed me this shit, cook?” he demanded. “I already told you that I don’t like chocolate.”

Actually, what Zoro had specifically said was that he didn’t like chocolate because it was ‘too sweet’, a statement which had thoroughly baffled Sanji because sure, some chocolate was sweet, but plenty of it wasn’t. Sanji himself vastly preferred dark chocolate over milk due to the complexity of flavor, but when he’d asked Zoro about dark chocolate, all Sanji had gotten was an eye roll and a scoffed, “Chocolate is chocolate, stupid cook. Doesn’t matter what color it is, it’s all too sweet.”

Which had led Sanji to the hypothesis he was currently testing.

“It’s not chocolate,” he lied smoothly. “It’s cacao.”

Zoro blinked. “Hah?” he said, head tilting in confusion.

“Cacao,” Sanji repeated. “It’s actually a bean that’s been fermented, roasted, and then processed into something called cacao liquor—“ (He had the suppress a snort at the way Zoro’s ears perked up at the word ‘liquor’) “—that’s then combined with a few other ingredients and left to solidify into bars for easy consumption.”

He gestured at the squares on the plate, which Zoro looked down at with a more thoughtful expression than before. 

“Beans that get roasted?” he said. “Isn’t that how you said coffee is made?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sanji replied, surprised that Zoro had remembered that. “That’s why I thought you might like this, actually. You like black coffee, and cacao has a similar flavor profile—slightly bitter, but complex. And the notes change depending on how it’s processed.”

“Huh.” Zoro picked up one of the squares, squinting at it curiously. “So are you supposed to drink it?”

“No, although there is a powdered form that you can add to liquids,” Sanji said. “But this one you just eat as is. It’s good for you, too, in small quantities. Lots of antioxidants.”

Zoro’s nose wrinkled. “The hell are antioxidants?”

Sanji waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry your mossy little head about it. Just think of them as another kind of nutrient.”

Zoro glared at the word ‘little’, but didn’t set down the square. He turned it over in his fingers a few times as if trying to gauge it for traps before he shrugged, apparently satisfied that he wasn’t about to consume anything nefarious. 

“Yeah alright. I’ll give it a shot.”

Sanji had to press his lips together to keep back a grin as Zoro took a bite from the square, growing ever more pleased with himself as the swordsman’s expression shifted from a curious frown to what on Zoro passed for wide-eyed wonder, which was a notable absence of his usual scowl and a slight raising of the eyebrows.

“So?” Sanji asked as Zoro swallowed, barely able to contain his glee.

Zoro shrugged. 

“Not bad,” he said, and Sanji bit his tongue to keep himself from laughing in Zoro’s face. On the sliding scale of Zoro-ism’s, ‘not bad’ was equivalent to a normal person’s ’oh my god, that’s soooooo good!’.

“See?” he said, unable to quite keep the smugness from his tone. “Told you it wasn’t poison.”

Zoro rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he muttered. Then his gaze dropped to the two squares still sitting on the plate. “So can I take these?”

Sanji had to turn towards the sink so that Zoro wouldn’t see the triumphant grin he couldn’t hold back. Because yeah, Sanji could have just explained to Zoro that dark chocolate referred not to the color but to the higher percentage of cocoa-to-sugar ratio instead of tricking him into eating ‘cacao’.

“Sure, marimo. They’re all yours.”

—but where was the fun in that?