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phantasticworks · 3 years ago

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Take a Picture (It'll Last Longer)

so. here i am again (soz) but I really just couldn't wait a second longer to post this fic. So this is just part one, and there will be a part two posted soon(ish). and yes i did in fact decide the phandom needed yet another photography fic (although, tbf i started writing this back when those were still cool and popular)

read on ao3

Words: 21.6k

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at 2 a.m. in a coffee shop. Phil is a photographer looking for a model, and Dan can't say no to pretty boys.

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, light angst

It was a weird situation.

Scratch that. It was an insane, very unlikely, but somehow still copacetic situation. See, Dan didn’t have anything better to do with his time (aside from the time he spent facedown on the floor dreading his very existence, he was pretty much a free agent) and Phil had been rather... convincing.

Not in that way.

Well.

No, no, not in that way. Not really, at least.

They met in the way most caffeine-driven, insomniac uni students do when they’re struggling through assignments at two am and would absolutely kill for some caffeine; they met at a coffee shop. Dan’s favorite coffee shop, actually, although by the end of the evening that fact would be used against him in order for one particularly passionate and newly inspired photographer to get his way.

“A caramel macchiato, please. And, uh... pistachio muffin?” Dan pulls his wallet out of his pocket, digging inside until he finds a tenner. The change she hands him back is deposited into the tip jar, and she offers him a small smile.

“Thank you, I’ll be right back with your drink.”

Dan nods, stepping to the side and very nearly bumping into someone else. “Whoops, sorry, mate.” Unconsciously, he reaches a hand out to steady the other person. Dan’s eyes flick up and meet pale skin, blue eyes, and a very disheveled looking quiff.

“No, it’s my bad, really. I wasn’t even paying attention,” the man replies, quiet embarrassment covering his tone.

Stepping back a respectable distance, Dan tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans, taking in the appearance of the man in front of him. He’s wearing a red and black plaid shirt with the top button undone, and over that is a stonewashed denim jacket. His legs, miles of them it seems, are painted with the black skinnies that his hands are awkwardly tucked into, in sort of a weird backward claw. He’s got a bag slung over his left shoulder, a kind of boxy looking one that almost looks like a lunchbox. Dan is faintly aware of the fact that this stranger is watching Dan check him out, but if he has a problem with this, the man doesn’t say so. After an assessing gaze, Dan’s eyes flick back up to blue ones hidden behind simple black framed glasses.

“Caramel macchiato,” the chipper voice behind the counter says, interrupting whatever silent conversation Dan is having with this stranger.

“That’s me,” Dan says with a small smile, stepping to the side to grab his drink and muffin.

“Funny, that’s me as well,” the stranger jokes, stepping up to the counter, closer to Dan than is probably strictly necessary. Dan doesn’t find that he minds. “I’ll have what he’s having.” He tilts his head, squinting at the hand Dan is holding his muffin in. “What kind of muffin is that?”

“Pistachio,” Dan responds.

“Hm,” he considers. To the girl behind the till, he says, “Scratch that, same drink but I’d prefer a raspberry almond cream scone.”

The girl nods, ringing him up and telling him the total. It occurs to Dan, while they’re having this interaction, that he has no reason to stay there. He’s already gotten his food, and he doesn’t know this man. There’s really no reason to stand there and wait on him. And yet, Dan sees no reason to go rushing off back to his shitty little flat with his annoying roommates who hate him. He shifts from foot to foot, contemplating on how creepy it is for him to stand there waiting for a stranger.

Before he has the chance to properly freak out about it, the man turns his head, smiling when he sees Dan still stood there. “Are you waiting for someone?” he asks politely.

This feels like it’s a challenge in some way, but Dan can’t decide how. He’s even less sure about how he would handle it even if it was. Two seconds away from lying, he stutters out a fumbled, “I- no.”

The smile grows into a full blown grin, and Dan can’t help but focus on the little bit of pink tongue poking between his teeth. “Perfect! I could use the company.”

Dan doesn’t have time to argue against that. As soon as the man is handed his order, he thanks the cashier and turns to look at Dan, gesturing to the sofas in the corner. Nodding, Dan follows him over and takes an awkward seat on one end of the ugly, green crushed velvet sofa closest to the window. The man has already laid out his scone and drink, and he hands Dan a napkin as if this is the most normal thing in the world.

“Thanks,” Dan says, holding the napkin in his hand like an idiot. When the guy smiles at him, Dan tries to copy it, but he knows it’s awkward. “I’m Dan,” he says dumbly, moving to hold his hand out for a handshake. He realizes a second too late that he still has his drink in his hand. His face floods with color, and he’s quick to set it down and try again.

Blue eyes crinkle on the edges of a smile, and the man reciprocates the handshake in a much less awkward fashion. “I’m Phil.”

Dan nods, tugging his hand away when it feels appropriate to do so. It hasn’t set in until then, but the true awkwardness of this situation, of having a two am coffee and snack with a stranger, really sets in. “So, um... caramel macchiato?” His voice is stilted, awkward, even to his own ears.

Phil quirks a brow and bites his lip as if to hide a smile. “Yeah, reckon it’s my favorite.”

“Good favorite to have,” Dan replies. He reaches for his drink and takes a large sip. It’s sweet, sweeter than he’d usually like at this time of day (or night, depending on how you looked at it) but it was still nice. His hands shake a bit as he goes to set it down, so he tucks his hands under his thighs to hide it. Glancing up at Phil, he frowns, surprised to find him already looking back.

Phil has an easy smile on his lips, and he leans back on the sofa, pulling his legs up to sit in a criss-cross fashion as he regards Dan. “I’m guessing you’re a student?” Phil asks.

Dan’s lips twist but he forces a nod. “Yeah,” he replies, shifting uncomfortably.

Despite Dan’s awkwardness, Phil appears intrigued, leaning in with a smile. “What are you studying?”

“Law.” The word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, and his nose scrunches at the thought.

Phil smiles, his lips curling as he takes a sip of his drink. His eyes sparkle above the cup, as if they’re sharing some sort of secret. Dan kind of likes the way that feels. “What did you want to study?” Phil asks, as if that’s something you just ask someone you’ve only just met.

Dan can’t help but bristle. “I... what makes you think I don’t want to do law?” He crosses his arms, defiant.

The look Phil sends him implies that the question is a stupid one. “Your face kinda gave it away, mate.” He does that smile again, the one with his tongue between his teeth, and Dan nearly swoons.

“Okay, well, no, it’s not exactly my dream career.” Dan can’t believe he’s admitting this to a complete stranger. He hasn’t even admitted this to his parents yet. Not to mention the other, more personal thing he hasn’t admitted to them yet. He won’t be sharing that today, though. At least, he doesn’t plan on it.

Phil leans in again, hovering close like they’re sharing secrets. “What is your dream career?” he asks in a quiet voice.

Dan stares at him instead of responding. Something clicks in his head, and he recognizes this as some form of flirting. He can’t, or rather doesn’t want to, deal with that. So he doesn’t. Instead, he laughs. Loudly and awkwardly. “Don’t think we know each other well enough for me to share all my hopes and dreams, mate.”

There’s a flash of a grin but then Phil settles back, his mouth forming a vague smirk as he tucks into his scone. Watching him eat serves as a reminder that Dan has his own food, a reminder he’s grateful for as soon as Phil catches his gaze. Cheeks warm, Dan quickly reaches for his pistachio muffin, tearing it apart and eating it in little bits.

He hears a laugh from beside him, but at this point he pays no mind to it. His whole reason for leaving his shitty little flat at two in the morning was to get one of these delightful muffins, and despite the distraction, he was actually very hungry, and after the first bite he can’t help but snarf the rest of it up. He’s mid-chew, barely holding in a noise of pure joy at how fluffy the pastry is, when he hears a camera shutter.

Dan startles. His muffin very nearly faces an untimely death, but with the secret muffin-saving ninja powers he didn’t know he had, he manages to save it before it hits the floor. Choking down the bite in his mouth, Dan turns his head, staring past the rather impressive looking camera lens and glaring daggers into Phil’s eyes.

“Um... What the fuck?”

Phil at least has the decency to look sheepish. He lowers the camera, his gaze locked on what Dan assumes is the screen, which is probably displaying the likely incredibly unflattering photo of Dan.

“Sorry,” Phil apologizes, half-heartedly. “You just... I don’t know, sorry. I should’ve asked.”

Dan clears his throat, sitting forward to place his muffin down. He dusts the crumbs off his lap, his gaze flicking from Phil to the camera. “Well? Let me see it.”

“Oh.” Phil looks surprised. Dan hates that he thinks that’s endearing. “Well, it’s not very good, I wasn’t going for something perfect, and the lighting is off, so-“

“If I’m modeling without my knowledge or consent, I’m seeing the result,” Dan deadpans.

Phil actually looks proper embarrassed now. “I am sorry about that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Clearly. Hand it over.” He reaches for the camera, but doesn’t snatch it. He was raised better than that, obviously.

With another sheepish look, Phil gently sets the camera down in Dan’s awaiting palm. He handles the camera carefully, but with steady, sure hands. Belatedly, Dan realizes that the camera must have been in the bag he’d mistaken for a lunchbox earlier. The camera is heavier than he’d been expecting, but then again Dan’s never really had much reason to hold a camera before, especially not one of this caliber.

He has to click the center button to wake the screen back up, and when he does he squints to see the picture better. His breath catches. The picture isn’t fantastic, from a subjective point of view. Although maybe that’s just his bias, as he’s the subject of it and it’s not exactly a flattering pose. He’s got a pleased look on his face, his index finger between his lips, clearly stuffing food in his mouth. There are crinkles by his eyes and regardless of the fact that no one looks good shoving food down their throat, it’s actually... not a bad picture.

“I’m sorry, I know, it’s not like... great. The lighting isn’t perfect, and the angle is awkward, but you were just so... well, anyway. Sorry, again.” Phil’s rambling at this point, and Dan can’t be bothered to reply to any of it.

“It’s... it’s actually really good, Phil.” Dan’s eyes don’t leave the camera. Maybe that’s narcissistic, but he doesn’t actively hate the way he looks, not from Phil’s perspective. Glancing up at who is apparently a good photographer, Dan offers a cheeky grin. “You’re not half bad for a guy who takes creep shots of strangers in cafes in the middle of the night.”

Phil’s face falls, a pinkish tint crawling up his cheeks. “I-“

“I’m joking,” Dan assures him with an easy smile. He hands the camera back, a twisting feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this stranger has a piece of him he can’t get back. He doesn’t like that part of this, he realizes. Clearing his throat, he gestures at the camera. “What’re you gonna do with that photo?”

Phil gives him a small, knowing smile. This makes Dan’s gut twist in a different way. He’s not sure how to interpret this one. “I can delete it, if you’d like,” he says, shrugging. His gaze drops to the photo and his lips twist. A silent conjunction lies stagnant in the air between them.

“Okay... is that what you’re going to do with it?” Dan asks, because he can’t not ask. He hates to tell this man, who is clearly a good photographer, that he can’t keep the picture, but the part of him that cringes at the idea of someone else seeing it refuses to be silent.

“Well, I mean obviously I will if you want me to, but...” he trails off, his gaze flicking between Dan and the photo on the camera as if he can’t reconcile the two versions of him. Or maybe it’s something else. “I’m actually looking for a model.”

Dan can’t help it. He laughs.

It’s not even anywhere in the realm of an attractive laugh, as he fully snorts, and that sound in itself just makes him laugh harder. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re going to have to keep looking. I’m not a model.” He shakes his head at the very notion.

Phil quirks an eyebrow and looks pointedly at his camera, as if that proves literally anything.

“Oh come on!” Dan groans. “That? Seriously? I look like, like a troll! Or a- a hobbit!”

The exasperated look on Phil’s face says that he isn’t buying it. “No, you really don’t. But even if you did, given the right lighting, angle, and some time, I think you’d be surprised at how not-hobbit-like I could make you appear.”

There’s something hopeful behind Phil’s eyes, and Dan watches as his fingers skate almost nervously over the buttons on the camera. Dan’s almost inclined to agree just on the off-chance he might get a shot at seeing what else those fingers do. He immediately berates himself for the idea; he barely knows this guy, but from all indications he’s lovely and deserves more than Dan’s gutter thoughts.

“I don’t know the first thing about modeling,” he says instead of going anywhere near the mental path his brain is suggesting.

“You don’t have to. As long as you’re good at keeping still and following directions, all you need is a good photographer,” Phil insists. He’s got a cheeky look on his face. “And being pretty doesn’t hurt.”

Dan stares that flirty remark in the face and says, “Let me repeat myself, keep looking.”

Phil’s face crumples into something unsatisfied before eventually shifting into something resigned. “If you actually don’t know that you’re attractive, then you’re very daft.”

The remark, as blunt as it was, sends a rush of something warm through his chest and up his neck. Ducking his head to hide his reaction, he mumbles, “I barely know you.”

“I promise I’m not a murderer.”

Dan’s head immediately snaps back up and he squints at the man beside him. “Funny, that sounds exactly like what a murderer would say.”

Phil grins. “Would a murderer offer to do a background check to prove it?” Those blue eyes are sparkling with mischief, and Dan is about two seconds away from agreeing to something both dangerous and stupid.

Reaching for his forgotten drink to distract himself, Dan hums. “Dunno. Don’t reckon I’ve ever met a murderer.”

“Yet,” Phil says, his voice filled with unabashed glee.

Dan levels him with a thoughtful stare. “Yet,” he agrees, slowly.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, finishing their pastries and drinks as Phil’s offer hangs above their heads. On the one hand, Dan really has nothing to lose. He’s bored of his life and his so-called friends who don’t seem to like spending time with him anyways, so it’s not like he’s losing out on precious social time if he agrees to it. On the other, he seriously doesn’t actually know Phil. He knows he’s a photographer who likes caramel macchiatos and that’s basically it. Come to think of it, he doesn’t even know the bloke’s last name.

“What’s your name?” Dan asks, breaking the silence so suddenly that Phil actually startles in his seat. “Sorry,” Dan offers a sheepish grin. “I’m just curious. What’s your full name?”

Phil smiles. “Philip Michael Lester.”

Dan nods. He sips. Then, “I reckon that sounds like the name of someone who isn’t a murderer.”

When he glances over, Phil is hiding a grin behind his hand. “You reckon so?”

“Yeah,” Dan shrugs. He thinks for a moment. “What kind of... like, modeling, do you want me to do? Like, I don’t know if I’m down to be naked for photos.”

Phil’s got an adorable flush crawling up his neck, likely at the blunt way Dan had phrased it, but he somehow still manages to meet Dan’s stare with something serious. “Just for photos?”

Now it’s Dan’s turn to flush. “Shut up. Is this how you’re going to kill me? Lure me in with jokes and flirting and then cut off my willy when I’ve let my guard down?”

If Dan thought Phil’s face was red before, it’s literally nothing compared to the beautiful flush that paints his cheeks now. “No!” He hisses, looking over to the counter with panic in his eyes. Considering they’re the only customers and the cashier has retired to sitting on the counter playing with their phone, Dan thinks it probably safe to say that no one heard.

“Hey, I’m just asking! You can never be too careful. Lot of creeps out there,” Dan grins.

Phil shakes his head, hiding his horror behind his cup. “I’m starting to think you might be the murderer.”

Dan smiles, but it’s a bitter thing. “The only thing I kill is anyone’s desire to be around me for any length of time ever.”

It’s funny how quickly Phil’s expression changes. He lowers his cup, his gaze soft as it lands on Dan’s. For however long those moments are, they share some silent understanding. Even if Dan doesn’t know him, he recognizes that Phil gets it; maybe not on some deep psychological level, but Dan sees in the lack of pity or discomfort that Phil just... knows.

“If you promise not to kill me and I promise not to kill you, do you think you could maybe consider it?” Phil asks.

Dan’s grateful for the subject change, even though it forces him to focus on the topic at hand. He considers it for a moment, but really he already knew what his answer would be the moment Phil said he was attractive. If that makes him shallow, then so be it.

“I’ll do it.”

~~~

After exchanging numbers and schedules that night, Dan agreed to meet Phil at his flat two weeks later for his first shoot. It made him vaguely uncomfortable to think of it like that but in the end that’s pretty much what it was, at least if Phil had anything to say about it. The man in question had yet to give Dan any explanation for why he was taking the photos to begin with, but Dan just assumed it was for a project. He did learn that Phil was finishing up his second degree, something Dan was immensely jealous of, considering he felt like dropping out half the time.

The days before they’re meant to meet seem to fly by, and when Dan shows up at the address he’d been given on Friday night, he’s practically vibrating with nerves. Despite the fact that they’d spent much of that time apart texting and getting to know one another, he still felt a little out of his depth stood at Phil’s door, especially knowing what awaited him on the other side.

Still, it’s not like he could easily get out of it now. So instead he texts Phil to let him know he’s there, waiting awkwardly on the steps in front of the building. Phil replies to let him know that he’d be down in a moment, so Dan stands, shifting from foot to foot, as he waits.

He’d been completely clueless as to how he needed to dress for this, and Phil had been no help at all. He’d instructed Dan to just wear something comfortable, that he was less concerned about costuming than he was the picture itself. Dan didn’t know much about photography, so he decided to listen. He’d chosen a pair of black jeans, not ripped for once, and a plain black jumper. His hair was a controlled mess, and after an hour of forcing straighteners over it, he managed to get it into something presentable.

The door in front of him swings open while he’s contemplating his choice of shoes, and he nearly falls over in surprise. He catches himself before he can, but the embarrassment of almost falling nearly has him turning around to leave until he catches sight of Phil’s pleased grin. “You made it!” He cheers, ushering Dan inside.

Dan quirks a brow at him. “Did you think I just texted you from my flat just to get a laugh when you realized I wasn’t here?”

Phil’s grin doesn’t falter in the slightest. “Hey, I don’t know what you’re like, maybe you never planned on showing up at all and it’s all just a big prank.”

If Phil wasn’t already leading the way upstairs, he’d see the incredulous look on Dan’s face. “That’s ridiculous. I’m right here.”

He watches Phil’s shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “I don’t know that. Maybe you’re a figment of my imagination. Maybe you’re a figment of your own imagination. Who knows?” They stop at a door just off the staircase on the second floor, much to Dan’s relief. He wasn’t much for exercise and he wasn’t aware that today he’d be doing cardio, or he’d have worn a thinner shirt. “Maybe existence in itself is just a social construct,” Phil says conspiratorially, opening the door to his flat and sending Dan a mischievous grin.

“Stop, you’re gonna send me into an existential crisis,” Dan complains.

Phil is good-natured enough to laugh, which is refreshing compared to the usual groans and bitchiness Dan would hear from his friends for a similar comment. It’s nice.

Phil leads the way into his flat, and Dan distracts himself from his nerves by looking around, taking in all of the little knick knacks and decor. It’s not messy, per se, but it differs from Dan’s own flat in the way that it’s comfortably lived in. There’s not a whole lot of space, but somehow it doesn’t feel crowded or small. Dan wonders if that has anything to do with the bright colors, which, he notes, don’t seem to follow any sort of pattern or color scheme.

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess, I rarely have company.” Phil sounds apologetic as he moves further into the flat, bypassing the lounge and leading Dan into the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”

Dan nods, moving to settle on one of the barstools by the counter. “As long as it’s not of the alcoholic variety.”

Phil smiles as he moves around the kitchen, reaching into a cupboard for two glasses. Dan watches as the hem of his shirt rides up, showing just a little bit of skin before it settles back down. “You don’t drink?”

Shrugging, Dan leans forward on the counter, his arms folded. “Not with people I barely know,” he replies dryly.

There’s a flicker of something like hurt on Phil’s face, but it’s not there for long. “Ribena okay?”

“Sure.”

It’s a little bit awkward as Phil prepares their drinks in silence, which Dan attributes to the fact that they don’t really know each other that well. It’s hard to start a conversation with a stranger, especially when you’re in said stranger’s house. All things considered, though, Dan could be a lot more worried about that. Phil just seems to have this calming sort of energy to him, and it’s hard for Dan to reject that, even with his brain as messed up as it is.

“Here you go,” Phil says with a smile as he hands Dan a drink.

“Thanks,” Dan replies with a smile. He takes a sip, averting his eyes from Phil’s curious gaze. It’s a bit less watered down than he prefers, but he doesn’t actually mind it all that much. The sweetness is less of a whisper and more of a shout, and he smiles to himself when he thinks about Phil’s obvious sweet tooth.

“Alright?” Phil asks, sounding a little nervous.

Dan nods. “It’s good.” Clearing his throat, he gestures vaguely to Phil. “So, Mr. Photographer. What kind of photoshoot have you got in mind for me?”

At the mention of the reason for Dan’s presence, Phil grins. “Well, I’m glad you asked. Follow me.”

Dan spares a confused glance at his drink but does as instructed, standing up to follow after him. Now that he’s being led into the lounge he’s got a chance to look around a little more and is surprised to see a bookshelf filled with familiar things, mostly video games and movies. There’s a couple odd knick knacks here and there that he recognizes from a game or anime. The thought that they actually have things in common startles Dan, but it isn’t unwelcome.

“So, for the portrait series I’m doing, I’m focusing more on a lifestyle, candid kind of photography. I’m still working on the basic theme but I’ve got some ideas for a couple of shots to get started.” Phil is explaining this as he’s moving around, grabbing his camera off the desk and moving to the glass door which Dan has just realized opens onto a balcony. Dan’s nodding along, pretending he gets it, while still trying to wrap his head around the fact that this man looked at him and felt he was worth capturing. “If you have any ideas or questions or anything, feel free to let me know. I’m usually pretty open-minded about things like that,” Phil says with a smile.

Dan nods again. “Alright. Well, uh... where do you want me?”

Phil grins, and Dan flushes when he realizes what it sounds like. Luckily, Phil doesn’t tease him for it. “I thought we’d start with the balcony. I’ve got some ideas that I wanna go ahead and do while the lighting is nice.”

With another nod, Dan moves towards the door. Then he comes to a halt, turning back around to face him. “Is what I’m wearing alright? I wasn’t sure what to wear.”

There’s a twitch of a smile on Phil’s lips at that. “What you’re wearing is perfect. You can take your shoes off though, if you want. Might be here a while.” There’s no hint of innuendo in his voice, but Dan can’t help but think about it anyway.

He toes his shoes off, glad for the brief distraction to calm himself down. After tucking his shoes out of the way near the door, he turns around, tugging on his sleeves as he waits for instruction. Phil isn’t looking at him right now, his focus on the balcony door. He pushes it open, steps back, and then tugs it in just a little bit. After staring at it for a moment he closes it, then nods to himself. If Dan wasn’t so confused, he’d probably laugh at him.

A few minutes of this go by and then Phil’s turning back around with a bright smile. “Alright, so for this to look candid and what not, I need you to like walk out onto the balcony as naturally as you can. We’ve got time to do it more than once, so it’s fine if the first couple of times feel awkward.”

“Okay,” Dan shrugs. He’s struggling to pretend he’s not nervous at this point but really, how can he not be? He doesn’t even know Phil but he wants this to work for him.

Dan moves towards the door, hyper aware of every movement of his feet as they drag across the floor. He doesn’t hear any other instruction, so he continues, pushing open the glass door and stepping onto the balcony. He also doesn’t hear the camera shutter, so with an embarrassed feeling in his chest, he turns to look at Phil.

Click.

“Um.” Dan blinks. “I thought...”

“Just checking that the camera is good to go,” Phil says, his lips twitching like he wants to smile. Dan can tell he’s lying, but doesn’t know how he’d feel about being called out for it.

“So... want me to go again?” Dan asks dumbly.

Phil nods, gesturing for him to come closer. “Here, just...” as soon as Dan is closer, he reaches out for him. Dan’s heart thumps out of beat, and Phil hesitates, smiling gently. “Can I?” He asks, gesturing to Dan’s shirt.

Dan can only nod, and Phil takes that as permission. He steps just a bit closer, and a wonderful scent of something fruity and sweet floods Dan’s senses. He’s trying to decide if it’s kiwi or something else when Phil’s gaze meets his, making Dan flush and drop his eyes. Phil’s camera is resting against his chest, the strap around his neck, and Dan tries to focus on that as Phil takes Dan’s sleeve and rolls it up almost to his elbow. He takes the other and copies the look, glancing over the rest of Dan before clearing his throat and stepping back.

“Am I ready for the camera?” Dan jokes, trying to ignore the racing of his heart and the way he can still smell faint traces of Phil’s cologne in the air between their bodies.

Phil’s suddenly heavy gaze drags from Dan’s hair down to his jeans, and he tilts his head, considering. “Depends. How comfortable would you be without your jeans?”

~~~

Dan cannot believe this. He simply cannot believe he agreed to this. Even an hour and a half later, it feels a bit like some weird fever dream. But no, there he is, in Phil’s flat, clad in nothing but a black jumper and black Calvins, modeling. If it could even be called that, because at this point Phil is mostly just engaging him in conversation, getting Dan distracted, and then snapping a photo. He very rarely asks for a specific pose, and Dan’s starting to wonder if he’s actually getting any good shots out of this or not.

Still, he won’t complain because so far he’s learned a lot about Phil. He’s 28, which surprised Dan at first, until he explained that he’d finished school with a degree in video post-production only to realize a couple years later that he was interested in photography. He’s not a full time student, but he’s enrolled in the photography course and loving it, apparently. Dan feels all sorts of out of place when Phil talks about school with such passion. It’s something he wishes he had, something he’d wanted for himself for years and never found.

Dan actually shares things about himself, as well. He offers up his own situation with school, admitting that he’d dropped out of uni a few years ago, only to get stuck with no job and no future until his parents made him agree to go back. He’s in his second year of law this time, which as a 24 year old, feels very embarrassing. Phil is all kind words and encouragement about this; Dan tries not to feel surprised that Phil is not only attractive and clever but also deeply empathetic.

“That’s really brave, you know,” Phil tells him. He’s sat on the only chair on the balcony, looking up at Dan with soft eyes. Dan shrugs, glancing away from him. He can’t handle the caring behind those eyes, he can’t let himself feel something more for this stranger other than vague appreciation and friendship. There’s the sound of the shutter clicking, and he levels Phil with an unimpressed stare. Phil grins and snaps another photo.

“It doesn’t feel brave,” Dan tells him, continuing their verbal conversation as he turns away, looking out on the city around them rather than stand facing Phil. He realizes belatedly that the height of the balcony and the way he’s leaning against it probably just look like he’s presenting his ass, but he’s already lost whatever self-consciousness he had about being nearly naked in front of someone he hardly knows.

“How does it feel, then?” Phil asks. Dan likes that. He likes that he doesn’t argue with Dan’s feelings, he asks him to explain them. Dan likes that a lot.

“Well, it feels like... I dunno. Like a waste of time.” He glances over when he hears the chair squeak to find Phil standing beside him. He’s got this open, welcoming expression on his face. Dan suddenly feels like he could tell him anything and Phil would just... know. “I feel like I’m wasting my time, or potential, or whatever.”

Phil nods. “I get that. I started out with English Language and Linguistics at uni. I didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t something I was like, super passionate about. Not enough to stick with it, and like, what the hell do you do with that kind of degree, you know?”

Dan shrugs. He doesn’t know, honestly, but it feels good to talk to someone who gets it, in some way. “Right.” It’s quiet for a moment, both of them lost in their thoughts as they look out into the street below. They’re not very high up, but there’s not a whole lot of tall buildings around, so it feels like they are. Dan hears the camera shutter but this time he doesn’t look. Instead he allows himself a small smile, something warm fluttering in his chest. Another click, and then he hears Phil sigh.

“These are really good,” Phil says softly. “I mean... not like I’m bragging, just...” He meets Dan’s gaze with a sheepish smile. “You look really good.”

Dan’s not sure he can handle that. He ducks his head, avoiding even looking in Phil’s direction until he feels less embarrassed and charmed and pleased. “I’m sure they’re alright,” he says noncommittally.

Phil laughs at that. “I’m not sure if you’re insulting me or yourself, but either way, I’m not sure I appreciate it.”

He can’t help it, Dan snorts at hearing this. “Sorry. Self-deprecation and all.”

There’s a very serious expression on Phil’s face when he looks at Dan then. It nearly chills Dan to his bones, but he finds he can’t look away. “I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.” He sounds perfectly serious.

Dan swallows. He wonders if he’s imagining the lack of space between them. “What do you see when you look at me?”

Phil studies him for a moment. He moves slowly, pulling the camera strap over his head and setting the camera carefully in the chair. Dan’s definitely not imagining it when Phil steps closer, making Dan turn as Phil crowds him back against the balcony. “All sorts of things,” Phil murmurs. Speaking any louder in the space between them would sound like yelling. “I see someone who’s sad.” Dan makes a soft noise of protest, but Phil shushes him gently. “But someone who’s doing what they can not to feel that way.”

They’re stood less than a foot apart now, and Dan studies the swirl of colors in Phil’s eyes. His breath is caught in his throat. He doesn’t know how Phil just knows these things, but somehow he’s managed to understand more about Dan than he’s understood about himself in years. More than that, Phil sees these things about Dan and doesn’t shy away from them. He looks at him like it’s okay to feel that way, like he maybe understands what it’s like. Dan loves it.

“What else?” He whispers, as if they’re sharing secrets.

Phil smiles. “I see those beautiful brown eyes.”

Dan blushes. “Shut up.”

“No,” Phil grins. He reaches forward, and Dan expects a soft touch and hopes for maybe more than that. He’s surprised when instead Phil pokes his side.

“Hey!” Dan yelps, squirming from his hand. “That’s rude.”

Phil giggles. “Sorry. I wanted to see that cute little pout.”

Dan’s face is likely blood red by now, but he tries to force his lips out of the pout he feels them in. “Alright, if you don’t stop flirting you might actually have to do something about it, you know.” He crosses his arms, quirking an eyebrow at Phil in challenge.

The challenge is apparently accepted, as Phil grins back, crossing his own arms. He’s an inch or two shorter than Dan, but with that stance, he appears taller. “Like what?”

And well, Dan wasn’t really expecting Phil to play along. He can only stare at him, blinking in confusion. “Um... well...”

It seems Phil expected this because he starts laughing as if it was a joke. Dan has no choice but to join in, pretending right along with him. “C’mon, you must be getting cold out here.” Phil turns to walk inside, gesturing for Dan to follow. Dan hadn’t really thought about it until now, but his legs are rather chilly.

After closing the door and walking into the lounge, he finds Phil stood there holding his jeans out to him. Dan tries not to let it bother him that this evening isn’t going in the direction he originally thought that it might go in. He shouldn’t be surprised about that. Phil is seemingly a very nice person, one who probably doesn’t hook up with emotionally unstable uni students he met at two am in a cafe. So really, Dan just needs to calm down with his expectations there.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, taking the jeans. He figures propriety is probably already out the window, so he goes ahead and pulls them on, trying not to think about the fact that Phil is watching him. “So, um...” He wants to ask if he’ll see Phil again, but he’s not sure how to.

Phil seems to understand anyway. He smiles and moves to the desk in the corner. Above it is a wall calendar, filled with lots of colorful sticky notes and scribbled handwriting. Even squinting, Dan can’t really make any of it out. Somehow, that, too, is endearing. Phil mumbles to himself as he scans the calendar, his finger moving along the dates as if he’s looking for something.

“I’m free next Saturday if you’re willing to do this again,” he says, turning around to glance at Dan.

A little startled by the suddenness of the request, it takes Dan a moment to nod. “Alright, uh, sure. What time?”

“Hm,” Phil hums to himself, considering it. He bends over to look through a notebook on the desk, and Dan is definitely not looking at his ass. Okay, maybe he takes a peek. Or two. Or maybe he just stares. “I have a list of ideas, give me a second,” he says, offering Dan a smile over his shoulder.

Dan nods, clearing his throat and pretending he’s examining the furniture. “I meant to tell you earlier, but I really like your flat. It’s cozy,” he says. His voice sounds awkward, even to himself. He’s genuine in his compliment, though. The decor is a lot brighter than he’d go for, and there doesn’t seem to be any cohesive theme, but he appreciates the bursts of personality he sees in every item.

“Thanks,” Phil says, turning to face him with a grin. “It’s taken me a while to accumulate all this junk, but it’s mostly sentimental.”

Dan cracks a smile at that. “That’s sweet. I’m not very sentimental myself, actually.”

Phil’s smile cracks a little at that. He recovers well, and manages to laugh. “My mum says I’m a hoarder, but I actually think I got it from her.”

“Maybe don’t tell her that.”

“Yeah, maybe not.” Phil grins genuinely. “So, I’ve got some… er… well, some other shots I want to get.” He bites his lips as if he’s embarrassed.

Dan can’t help it. His mind takes a sharp turn for the gutter. “What kind of shots?”

Phil raises a hand and scratches the back of his neck. Dan stares at the way the tendons in his arms flex. It’s unacceptably attractive. “Well… Please don’t think I’m creepy for this, I swear I was going to get someone else to do it, but if you’re willing… My series would look more cohesive with the same model in every shot.”

Dan rolls his eyes now. The beating around the bush thing isn’t cute anymore. “Spit it out, bub. What do you want me to do? Pose nude?”

“No!” Something panicked arises in Phil’s eyes, but it’s replaced by something like consideration, clouded with something akin to guilt. “Er… Well, not entirely.” He bites his lip at this, staring at Dan like he’s waiting for him to run.

Crossing his arms, Dan quirks a brow, waiting. “So?”

“Well, it’s like… The theme I’m trying to work with is intimacy, but like from different angles. We, uh… For the assignment we were told to pick a sort of abstract or misunderstood concept, and research what we can to come up with a photo series that shows the deeper understanding of it. And uh, I went with intimacy.” His face is pink, and his gaze darts around the room in a nervous way Dan hasn’t witnessed yet.

Dan considers what this means for himself for a moment. He knows what he considers intimacy to be, which is basically sex and the things that go with being intimate before and after that. He can’t pretend he isn’t interested in what Phil wants to do with this concept, and honestly, after today, he feels comfortable enough that maybe he wouldn’t mind a little nude shoot. That might change due to his ever changing self-consciousness but he’s not totally opposed to it right now.

Phil must misunderstand his silence to mean he’s considering saying no. That thought’s laughable to Dan, at this point. “If you’re not comfortable, or if it’s something else, that’s totally fine! I mean, if you just don’t want to waste your time, I can pay you? But if you’re uncomfortable then-”

“I’ll do it.”

Phil stops talking. He blinks. Then, “What?”

Dan shrugs, an almost giddy feeling seeping into his chest. He tucks his hands into his pockets. “I said I’ll do it. I mean I reckon if you were gonna murder me, you would’ve done it by now. And I’m not too fussed about posing nude, but…” He’s not sure if what he’s about to say is obvious or not, but… “I’m… homosexually inclined, if you will.”

There’s a heavy silence. Phil blinks at him, twice. Then, he promptly bursts into giggles. Dan’s not impressed by that.

“Sorry, I’m not- homosexually inclined? Is that what we’re calling it these days? God, I’m getting old.” Phil laughs again, clutching his belly and tossing his head back with the force of it.

Dan’s fight-or-flight response is hovering on the edge of a knife, waiting to see if he’s going to have to protect himself from this situation somehow. He’s never actually had anyone start laughing in his face when he told them he was gay, but he reckons maybe he did say it in an odd way. Still, it was almost unsettling to see the soft look on Phil’s face once his giggles have subsided.

“I am too, by the way. Homosexually inclined,” Phil repeats the phrasing and smirks. Dan immediately relaxes. “That’s the only way I’ll ever come out to anyone ever again, so thank you for that.”

Dan rolls his eyes but pantomimes tipping a hat. “Happy to be of service.” Now that their truths are out in the open, he’s more relaxed, but also just that much more uneasy. Before, Phil was just this fit guy taking photos of him that Dan could quietly pine after and assume about. Now… now he knows for sure. And that scares the hell out of him. “So, Saturday?” Dan asks, clearing his throat to clear some of the tension in the room.

Phil nods, a familiar excited glint reappearing in his eyes. “Yeah, say… five-ish? The lighting is better when the sun’s going down.”

“Sure.” Dan takes this as his invitation to leave and heads back to the front door. Phil follows after him and stands by while Dan tugs his shoes back on. “Anything particular you’d like me to wear?” He doesn’t mean to flirt, but he can’t help but put on a certain tone of voice. He’s only human.

If Phil’s bothered by the obvious flirtation, he has a funny way of showing it. Smirking, he crosses his arms and leans against the wall beside him, his eyes raking over Dan’s body in a way that nearly makes him shiver. “If you’ve got a light colored sweater or something, that would work.” He tilts his head, considering for a moment. “And the Calvins are a nice touch, as well.”

Dan can’t help but smirk back, as if he knows what they’re doing here. He doesn’t, not really. “Why, reckon I’m gonna be back down to my pants for you?”

Phil stares him straight in the eyes as he nods. “Yeah, I reckon so.”

This does make Dan shiver. He can’t help it. His skin is suddenly feeling a little tacky, his clothes clinging a little too closely to his skin. “Right,” he mumbles, clearing his throat after. “See you Saturday?”

The grin on Phil’s face takes any of the previous heat away, but it leaves Dan warm in an entirely different way. “Saturday. I’ll see you then, Dan. Be safe.”

Dan offers a little wave as he steps out the door. He forces himself to take a deep breath before getting any further, processing what he’d just agreed to. Spending an evening with a very attractive, also gay man, taking perhaps racy photos.

God, Dan was so fucked.

~~~

Dan has counted down the days until Saturday, unashamedly. There’s no one but himself to shame him for his weird crush, and for now, he’s not going to beat himself up about it. That’s probably most definitely subject to change, he realizes once he’s standing at Phil’s door on Saturday evening, wearing black ripped jeans and a light tannish Yeezy sweater he’d spent way too much money on. He’s a little early, since they’d agreed on five, but Dan doesn’t actually think Phil will be all that bothered about it, honestly. At least, he sincerely hopes he isn’t.

Dan: im outside let me in

Phil: you should’ve sent the meme

Dan: ?

Dan hears the door click the same time his phone buzzes in his hand. He opens the door with one hand while his other clicks on the meme. He snorts when he sees it, having forgotten all about the Eric Andre meme, but this was certainly an appropriate moment to use it. Since he’s literally in the same building as Phil, Dan doesn’t bother typing out a response, pocketing his phone and making his way up to Phil’s flat.

Phil’s quick to open the door after Dan’s knocked, and Dan smiles automatically upon seeing his face. He’s not wearing glasses this time, and his hair is in an almost perfect quiff. Dan very much wants to touch it, but he knows that’s definitely not appropriate. Phil looks incredibly cozy right now, wearing a grey sweater and black skinny jeans.

“Hi,” Phil says, his voice sweet.

Dan can’t help the stupid grin on his face, stretching at his cheeks and probably caving his dimple. “Hi, yourself.”

He doesn’t have a chance to ask to come inside, as Phil’s suddenly shifting closer, his hand coming up to Dan’s face. Dan sucks in a sharp breath, heart beating out of rhythm. Whatever he’s expecting to happen isn’t Phil’s intention, apparently, as Dan’s surprised when he feels Phil’s finger sink into his dimple. “Hello to this part of you, specifically.”

It takes him a moment to process the disappointment he feels that Phil didn’t do something else, but then he’s just thrilled that Phil is touching his face so casually. Then, he hears what he said. Laughing, Dan swats his hand away. “Oh, fuck off.”

Phil grins at him. “What? It’s cute. Hello, there… Derek!”

Dan blinks. “Derek?”

Phil’s finger comes back up to gently dip into the concave space on Dan’s face. “Derek the dimple.”

“You’re really odd,” Dan muses. Phil’s face twists at this, and Dan smiles before stepping through the door beside him. “It’s cute, don’t worry.”

He doesn’t wait for a reaction, walking over to where Phil keeps his shoes and toeing his trainers off. He tugs his coat off as well, looking around for somewhere to put it that doesn’t clutter some of Phil’s space.

“I’ll get it,” Phil says, coming to the rescue. He grabs the coat from Dan and leads the way into the lounge, the sound of the front door shutting behind them echoing into the room. “Have you eaten?” Phil asks, his back turned to Dan as he goes to hang Dan’s coat genty over a chair.

“No, I figured I’d eat later when I leave.” Dan goes to sit on the sofa, glancing around the room casually to see if anything’s changed since he was here last week.

Phil nods, but chews his bottom lip hesitantly. “Do you like pizza?”

Dan quirks a brow at this and tries not to smirk. “Are you trying to buy me dinner, Phil Lester?”

To his credit, Phil doesn’t seem very embarrassed by this. His eyes dart away but ultimately come back to Dan’s face, searching. “I guess so. If you’ll let me.”

Clearing his throat to hide the way he’s actually very pleased by this, Dan nods, following it with a noncommittal shrug. “Well, if you insist.”

Phil laughs, moving to his desk and grabbing his laptop. He returns to the sofa, dropping beside Dan and opening his laptop. “Domino’s okay?”

Dan nods and shifts on the sofa, tucking his feet up and leaning over to watch Phil order their food. “Have you tried the Sizzler?”

He realizes how close they are now when Phil turns his head and their eyes meet, mere inches apart. Phil has a lovely, surprised smile on his face. “The Sizzler is literally my favorite.”

This draws a pleased smile on Dan’s lips. “Yeah? You’ve got good taste, then.”

Phil nods. “It’s got just enough toppings to mask the flavor of the cheese, it’s great.”

Dan blinks. “Sorry, why would you actually want to mask the cheese? The cheese is the best part!”

Phil’s nose crinkles adorably as he turns back to the screen, clicking around on the order page. “I’m lactose intolerant, cheese just doesn’t really suit me.”

“Huh,” Dan hums. “I guess it’s good that mozzarella cheese basically just tastes of air, then.”

A dainty white hand comes up to rest over Phil’s chest as he mock-swoons. “You understand me,” he sighs.

Dan grins. He’s got the inexplicable urge to rest his head on Phil’s shoulder, but he refrains. Phil finishes up their order and closes his laptop, setting it on the coffee table in front of them before leaning back. His head rolls to the side and he blinks up at Dan adorably. Dan takes this moment to reach forward and poke Phil’s cheek, much like he did earlier to Dan’s dimple.

“So, pizza then photoshoot?” Dan inquires, the soft silence overwhelming him.

Phil nods. Then shrugs, which is a very mixed-signal sort of gesture, Dan thinks. “Well, probably pizza and photoshoot, really.”

“What?”

Without answering, Phil stands, going over to his desk and grabbing a notebook. He glances around until he finds a pen, then rejoins Dan on the sofa. “Right, so, the photo series has four parts to it, representing the four types of intimacy. So I figured today we could work on the first part.”

Dan nods, as if he completely understands this. He doesn’t. “Alright. So what’s the first part?”

Phil flips some pages in the notebook until he reaches one with “Experiential” at the top. Dan glances at this word, then back to Phil, then back to the page. Phil must notice his confusion, as he laughs under his breath before handing the notebook over. “I tried to write a short explanation, but basically it’s like intimacy in doing mundane activities. Like… I don’t know, playing video games together, or doing an art project, or something.”

“Right…” Dan nods slowly. “So, are we going to do an art project together?” He’s half-kidding. Half, because he’s not very artistic but he actually likes the idea of doing something creative and fun with Phil, who seems to be the human embodiment of those ideas.

“No, although that probably would’ve been a good idea,” Phil says, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. “I actually thought we could play some video games or play a board game or something?”

Dan nods. “Sure, I’m always down to play video games. I should warn you though, I didn’t have any friends until uni, so I’ve had lots of time to get really good at pretty much every video game.”

There’s something fleetingly sad in Phil’s gaze, but he recovers with a laugh that warms Dan’s heart and has him smiling. “We’ll see about that.”

~~~

“Fucking fuck fuck!” Dan screams, his thumb aching from how tightly he’s holding the button to steer. “Get out of my ass!” he screeches at Phil.

Phil cackles from beside him, his kart closing in on Dan’s. “Stop shouting that! I have neighbors, you idiot!”

Dan makes a frustrated grunting noise when Phil somehow manages to pass him and cross the finish line first, a string of curses leaving his mouth as Phil squeals with joy beside him. Ever the petulant child, Dan throws the switch joy-con towards Phil, who yelps. Dan pitches to the side, letting out a frustrated noise against the sofa cushion. “You’re the worst,” he mumbles, his voice muffled by the fabric.

“What was that? I can’t hear you over the sound of me winning,” Phil taunts smugly.

Sitting up with a huff, Dan sends Phil a glare, only to startle when the camera flashes. He wants to be annoyed, but he can’t, not when he agreed to this impromptu shoot. And Phil’s been doing this for the past two hours since they finished their pizza and started playing Mario Kart, so if Dan was going to have a problem with it, he probably should have said so before now. He doesn’t actually, really. It’s always a little surprising, and it usually catches him off-guard since he’s rarely expecting it when it happens, but seeing Phil smile down at the camera every time he takes a photo makes it worth it.

“Rematch?” Phil asks, prodding Dan’s thigh with his joy-con, setting the camera down on the coffee table where it’s been residing for the majority of the evening. There’d been a couple times when Phil had gone to the kitchen under the pretense of getting something, only to surprise Dan by taking photos of him from behind the sofa. Dan doubts that those are any good, considering there’s probably nothing in shot but his unruly hair and the tv, but this is Phil’s project, so who is he to judge?

Dan rolls over so he’s on his back and drops his legs onto Phil’s lap, smiling when Phil begins rubbing his calves over his jeans. Whatever concept of personal space that existed hours ago is completely gone now, as both of them have taken to casual touches at almost any opportunity. Dan’s drowning in the feeling of this casual, friendly intimacy, and he idly wonders if that might be one of the themes for what Phil’s working on. “Depends, what time is it?”

Phil leans over to wake his phone up. “It’s a few minutes till eight,” he replies. He’s got an odd look on his face as he looks away from Dan before speaking again. “Why, got a hot date?”

This is one of those incredibly laughable things that Phil has said, and Dan treats it accordingly, dropping his head back to let out a cackle. “Bub, tonight you were the hot date.” He’s pleased by the surprised smile on Phil’s face. Dan’s cheeky for a moment and lifts his leg up to rub his foot against Phil’s thigh. “But no, I’ve just got revising to do. Exams coming up soon and the like.”

Phil doesn’t look particularly pleased by this, but nods in understanding. “Okay. Do you need to go home now?” His voice sounds just on the edge of disappointed, and Dan almost hates the way that makes him feel like he’s flying.

“I mean… I probably should. Why? Got other plans for me?” He smirks as he says it, obviously flirting.

Phil’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes this time. He shrugs, looking down at where his hands rest on Dan’s legs. “No, not really. I just like having you around.”

The naked honesty startles Dan into silence. He knows very few people who can tolerate him, let alone who actually enjoy his company, so this coming from Phil… Well, it’s a lot for Dan’s emotionally damaged brain to take in. After taking a moment to collect himself, he knocks his knee against Phil’s chest to prompt eye contact. Phil’s eyes are pools of blue and flecks of gold and Dan just knows he’s got a stupidly soft smile on his face as he speaks.

“I like being around you too, spork.”

Phil grins at this. He leans closer, just enough to sink his finger into Dan’s dimple. “I guess I’ll see you later?”

Dan nods, making no move to get off the sofa. “When do you want to work on the rest of the photos?”

There’s a shadow of something hurt on Phil’s face, but it’s gone so quickly Dan figures he imagined it. “You know, I’d like to hang out sometimes… Like, we don’t have to just work on that everytime we see each other, yeah?” He sounds nervous.

“Right,” Dan says slowly. It’s not that he hadn’t considered this, but he hadn’t gone so far as to assume Phil would actually want to do that. “Well, when’s the project due?”

“It’s not due until the end of December, so yeah… we’ve got time to work on that. I just…” Phil clears his throat as he looks away. He’s absentmindedly tugging on a thread on Dan’s jeans, and Dan wonders if he’s going to manage to pull it off completely. “We’re friends, yeah?”

An awkward laugh escapes Dan at that. He’s positive he doesn’t miss the flash of hurt on Phil’s face this time, but he doesn’t know what to make of it. “Yeah, Phil, of course we are. And sure, we can hangout whenever you want. In fact, what about tomorrow? I need to get some homework done, but we can meet up at the cafe for lunch?”

Phil smiles at this, a proper one with his tongue poking through his teeth. Dan melts at the sight. “Sure, okay, yeah. I’d like that.”

“It’s a date, then,” Dan says, his voice mostly teasing. He leaves his words hanging in the air between them, open to whatever interpretation that Phil might want to give them.

“A date,” Phil echoes, nodding and looking down at where his hand is resting on Dan’s leg. “I guess I’ll let you get home, then.”

Even though Dan knows he needs to go, he doesn’t like the idea of actually doing it. Still, he can’t overstay his welcome, even if Phil does enjoy having him around. Besides, he needs to get home and take his meds before he goes to bed anyway. He drags his legs off Phil’s lap and stands, stretching his arms up above his head to give them some relief. They’d been lounging on the sofa for hours now, and he desperately needed to get his blood circulating again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Dan says on a yawn, dropping his hand to ruffle Phil’s hair. If Phil’s bothered by the gesture, he doesn’t show it.

“Yeah.” He stands and follows Dan to the door, watching him as he gets ready to leave. “Oh, here,” Phil says suddenly, spinning around and stepping back into the lounge, returning with Dan’s coat in his hand. He holds it out and gestures for Dan to turn around. Dan does so, but he rolls his eyes as if he’s not secretly pleased by the gesture.

When Dan turns around, there’s a soft, fond look on Phil’s face. Dan wants to kiss him. He wants to so, so badly, but there’s still that voice in his head, reminding him that Phil isn’t interested in him in that way. So instead, he lifts his hand in a little two-fingered salute, cringing at himself as soon as he does it. “See you tomorrow, then, Philly.”

“Goodnight, Dan. Be safe going home.” The repeated sentiment stirs something warm in Dan’s chest.

“Goodnight,” Dan echoes softly as the door closes behind him.

~~~

Dan sits in the cafe, his laptop open on the table in front of him. He’s a few paragraphs into an essay about a topic he doesn’t care about and hardly remembers, his cursor blinking at him condescendingly. If the other two or three customers weren’t present, he’d thump his head on the table in anger, barista be damned. It’s the same barista that served him and Phil that night a couple weeks ago, Dan realizes, so they probably wouldn’t be surprised if Dan just started acting off his rocker.

He’s mid-thought about all the situations this barista has probably had to see, wondering to himself if she’s ever had to handle a mental breakdown, which then steers him onto the thought path of wondering if that’s what’s actually happening to him right now or if he’s overreacting. His train of thought is completely thrown off the track when he hears a voice as someone settles on the seat in front of him.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a little pale,” Phil says, his face morphed into one of concern. He pushes a hand through his slightly disheveled quiff, helping it a little bit but mostly just giving it a more purposefully tousled look.

Dan blinks at him. “What would you do if I said I was having a mental breakdown?” he blurts unthinkingly.

Phil raises an eyebrow at him, looking surprised but not as confused as Dan expected him to. He leans forward, folding his arms on the table and resting his weight against them. It’s a good look, Dan thinks to himself idly. He’s wearing a pink and purple hoodie, and his black-framed glasses. He looks like a snack, if Dan’s completely honest. “Are you?” He asks, breaking Dan out of his cycle of inappropriate thoughts.

Sighing, Dan leans over and rests his head against the table, staring blearily up at Phil. “No? I mean… I don’t know, honestly. I don’t guess so.” He punctuates it with a shrug, which just results in him bumping his shoulder into the table. It stings.

Phil smiles down at him like he’s not bothered at all by Dan’s odd mood. It’s nice. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks, sweet and considerate as ever.

Dan shrugs again. His shoulder aches now. He sits up with an exasperated groan. “I just feel like I’m wasting what’s left of my stupid life sat here working on a paper I don’t give two fucks about, but I can’t drop out because my parents would kill me. Not that I care what they think, but they’re helping me pay for a flat and stuff, so I can’t exactly do what I want, can I? I just… I want a different life. This one sucks.” He hadn’t realized how worked up he was until he’s finished, but now that he’s done with his rant, he’s left panting and maybe there’s a wetness in his voice that wasn’t there before. He clenches his eyes shut tightly. He’s not going to cry in front of his new friend, in the middle of a goddamn coffee shop. He isn’t.

The feeling of a hand brushing against his own has his eyes snapping open, staring at Phil with wide eyes. Phil offers him a sympathetic smile. Dan hates pity, but he doesn’t feel like this is Phil’s intention, somehow. “Do you want to do something to take your mind off of all that?” Phil asks him sweetly.

Dan’s inclined to say yes. He’d love a break, even if it’s not for long, but he knows he needs to finish this godforsaken essay if he has a chance in hell of passing this class. “I can’t. I need to finish this essay.” His voice is bitter.

“Okay. Do you want me to leave so you can focus?” Phil doesn’t sound thrilled at the idea, but Dan appreciates the gesture.

“No, I can work with you here. If you don’t, you know, mind that I’m not going to be very entertaining.”

Phil laughs, his tongue poking out in Dan’s favorite smile. “I think I can entertain myself. I’ve got some things I can work on while you’re doing that. I’m a little behind some of my projects for work, so this would probably be a good time to finish them.”

Dan really needs to focus on his assignment, but the mention of Phil’s job piques his interest. He hadn’t really mentioned that before, although Dan had already deduced that he probably had some kind of job, considering he’s a part-time student living in a flat by himself. Unable to quell his curiosity, Dan props his head in his hand, watching Phil pull out a laptop and a notebook from his backpack. “What kind of projects?” He asks.

“Some videos to edit. Mostly ads and things like that. I think I’ve got a motivational video and a music video, too.” Phil makes a grimace at that, but Dan’s only about a thousand times more curious now.

Feigning nonchalance, Dan nods and glances at his own laptop. He’s got a little over a thousand words and he’s got to have twenty-five hundred to meet the assignment requirements. But, it’s not due for another week, so surely he can spare a few moments of watching Phil work, right?

Whether he can or not, he decides he’s going to.

“Can I watch you edit?” he asks, his voice unintentionally small.

Phil looks surprised when he glances up, but he’s quick to nod. “Yeah, of course. Um…” He points vaguely to the space on Dan’s side of the booth. “Mind if I move over there?”

Dan grins and moves his own backpack out of the way, clearing a spot for Phil to put his own things. “Be my guest,” he says, mocking a terrible French accent.

After moving his things over, Phil seems to remember that they were originally only meeting to have lunch, and yet neither of them have any food. “Do you want me to go grab us something to eat?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” Dan reaches into his pocket for his wallet, but Phil’s hand on his wrist stops him.

“I’ll pay, I asked you out, remember?” Phil’s got a cheeky grin on his face as he stands from the table. “What do you want?”

Dan is very nearly blushing at how chivalrous Phil is being, but he clears his throat in an effort to control himself. “A strawberry lemonade, please.”

Phil quirks an eyebrow. “Okay, what else? What do you want to eat?”

It’s probably just the usual bout of nerves, but the idea of food is not very appealing to Dan in this moment. His stomach turns at the idea of eating something, and he’s pretty sure that it’s written all over his face. “I’m actually not very hungry right now,” he says awkwardly.

There’s a flash of confusion on Phil’s face, but he manages a slow nod. “Okay. So just the strawberry lemonade?”

Dan nods. “Yeah.”

“Alright,” Phil says, flashing a smile. “Be right back, then.”

Dan tries not to watch Phil as he makes his way to the counter to order, but his attempt is probably mediocre at best. His eyes stray from him for a few seconds at a time, but generally his gaze is casually sweeping over Phil’s body, appreciating the way Phil’s jeans fit around his ass. As soon as that thought catches up with him, he looks away, embarrassed. He’s not about to sit here ogling his friend while they're out for lunch, even if they have held up a rather flirtatious banter since meeting.

“Here you go,” Phil says a few moments later, setting a fairly large pink drink in front of Dan. He’s got something pink as well, but it’s a deeper, more magenta shade than Dan’s. “I also got you a pistachio muffin, for later, if you decide you’re hungry.” Phil places a paper bag down, and Dan stares at him in surprise.

“Oh… Thank you,” Dan stutters out.

Phil shrugs, moving to sit down back beside Dan. He situates his drink on the right side of his laptop before reaching for the paper bag. He takes out a bagel, sitting it on a napkin and closing the bag back up, scooting it towards Dan. He glances at him, appearing a little startled to find Dan already staring back at him. Before Dan can apologize for being creepy, Phil smiles and points to the bag. “Take it home, if you don’t want it now. You’ll be hungry eventually.”

Dan can’t say no to that, obviously, so he just nods mutely. “Alright, sure.”

Looking pleased with himself, Phil opens up his laptop and clicks around until he’s got a video editing program loading up, switching back to his email to click on the file attached. “So, usually clients just email me and after we agree on rates and such, I put the things I’m sent in folders that are in order of due date. I’m a little behind, so I haven’t organized these yet, but I don’t have that many to work on, so it’s not that big of a deal,” Phil explains as he opens his files and renames the thing he’s downloading.

Nodding along, Dan reaches blindly for his drink, his nose wrinkling when he takes a sip. Glancing down, he realizes he’d picked up Phil’s by mistake. “Mate, what is this?” he asks teasingly, gesturing to the cup when Phil looks at him in confusion.

“It’s dragon fruit lemonade,” Phil says defensively.

“It’s terrible,” Dan decides, setting it down and reaching for his own instead.

“It is not! It’s really tasty,” Phil argues, snatching his drink and taking a long, exaggerated sip as if to prove his point.

Dan scrunches his nose, definitely not agreeing with that assessment. “Try mine,” he offers, holding his cup out for Phil to take a sip from.

Phil rolls his eyes but leans forward, wrapping his lips around the straw and taking a little sip. Dan gives him a look, and he rolls his eyes again before sucking a little more into his mouth. Swallowing and leaning back, Phil narrows his eyes, looking to be seriously contemplating the taste. “Well, it’s not terrible, but mine’s just more exotic and fancy.”

“You should stick to editing and photography, bub. You’d make a terrible lemonade critic,” Dan says solemnly.

There’s an adorable pout on Phil’s lips as he jokingly digs his elbow into Dan’s side. “Rude,” he mumbles, focusing on his laptop again.

Dan grins, and leans closer, tentatively dropping his chin onto Phil’s shoulder to watch him work. Phil’s eyes dart to meet his, and Dan offers him a saccharine-sweet smile. Phil makes a big show out of rolling his eyes at this, but ultimately he focuses on his work, quietly talking Dan through the process as he edits clips and adds sound when appropriate.

Eventually, Dan goes back to working on his essay, but they stay close, talking when there’s a lull in creativity or when Dan just cannot take a moment more of affidavits and case files. Phil sometimes prods him and asks him to watch a section of the video he’s working on, asking if the transitions are smooth to an untrained eye, and Dan likes helping when he can. It’s nice, he realizes, working beside someone even when they’re both working on their own separate projects. It’s copacetic.

“I’m so tired of this,” Dan groans, thumping his head back against the booth. It makes a cracking sound and he winces, a sharp pain spreading across his skull. “Ow,” he whines.

Phil glances at him, concerned. “You alright?”

Dan nods, rubbing the back of his head. He gets a cheeky idea and pouts at Phil. “Kiss it better?” he simpers.

Phil doesn’t even blink. He rolls his eyes but nods, gesturing for Dan to get closer. “Turn your head, you little troll.”

Surprised that Phil’s actually catering to this whim, it takes Dan a moment to do as he’s told. He does, though, turn his head to look away, his hand still covering the spot he’d injured. He feels Phil take his hand and move it out of the way, and then he feels a gentle kiss pressed to the tender spot. His veins flood with warmth, so suddenly it causes a shiver down his spine. There’s no way Phil doesn’t notice it.

Luckily, he doesn’t comment on it. “Does it hurt badly?” Phil asks sweetly, his dainty fingers coming up to gently skim Dan’s scalp.

“No,” Dan says faintly. “Just tender.”

Phil hums. “Poor thing,” he mocks. He’s still stroking Dan’s hair, but Dan turns his head anyway, pouting when he sees the smirk on Phil’s face.

“I’m injured, and here you are, taking the piss.”

“Sorry. Maybe next time you’ll tone down the theatrics,” Phil suggests.

Dan huffs. “I was a theatre kid, it’s in my blood.”

Whatever he said seems to strike Phil as interesting, as he tilts his head and considers Dan, a thoughtful look on his face. “Why don’t you do theatre anymore?” Phil asks, completely out of left field.

Dan lets out a nervous laugh. “Uh… I don’t know. I just… Don’t?”

Phil nods. He shrugs, then, turning back to his laptop. “I think you should do some auditions. You’ve got an actual talent for it, I think you’d do really well.”

This throws Dan for a loop. He wasn’t expecting Phil to say anything like that, not at all. He knew he was usually dramatic, but it was mainly in a funny kind of way, he never thought about getting seriously involved with theatre now that he was an adult. It’s… not a bad idea, though. He’s not entirely opposed, at least.

“Maybe,” he says noncommittally. He actually really likes the idea of getting involved in it, now that it’s been presented to him as an option. He doesn’t plan on telling Phil that yet, though, no matter how much he genuinely likes him. “Can you read over this paragraph and tell me what you think?”

~~~

The days and weeks pass by in a flurry after that day in the cafe. Dan wasn’t aware how much free time he really had until he started spending it with Phil. There was hardly a single day that passed when he didn’t spend time with Phil, either at Phil’s flat, the cafe, or even the library, which is where they found themselves now. Dan had a research project due in two days, and in true Dan fashion, he’d procrastinated it until the last possible moment. Phil had wanted to work on his photo series some more today, and when Dan said he had to finish this project, Phil said that it was perfect for what he needed.

So there they were, sat across from each other in the library, Dan hard at work on his stupid research project while Phil scribbled in a notebook and occasionally took photos of Dan. Sometimes Phil would stand up without saying a word, only to walk around and take shots from different angles. Dan was genuinely trying to submerge himself in his project, so most of the time he wasn’t even aware of what Phil was doing, too caught up in his own head to pay too much attention.

If Phil had any complaints about Dan’s focus being on his own work, he didn’t say. Sometimes he would say Dan’s name, snapping a photo as soon as Dan looked up at him, but mostly he just stayed quiet, working on his own things while Dan did the same. They’d done this a lot, when Dan or Phil had work they needed to get done but they wanted to spend time together. It was nice, working in a shared space on their own things, although sometimes if they were at Phil’s flat they’d get distracted by food or anime or video games. Still, even that was nice, as Phil was lovely to be around regardless of what they were doing.

They’d been at the library for probably close to three hours now, and Dan was reaching his limit. He had actually gotten a lot done, but his vision was starting to go fuzzy and he couldn’t concentrate on what he was reading. It didn’t help that he was basically starving, and his head felt like it was full of cotton. Quietly, so as not to disturb anyone else, he closes his laptop and folds his arms over it, resting his head on his forearms and closing his eyes. He hears a shift in front of him and a few moments later he feels a body in the seat next to his, a hand coming to stroke his back in soft sweeps.

“You okay?” Phil’s soft voice whispers.

Dan nods, not opening his eyes. “Just tired. Can we be done for today?”

Phil laughs quietly. “Yeah, bub, we can be done. Do you want to come back to mine?”

Wordlessly, Dan nods again. Phil hums a confirming noise before going to gather up his things. It takes Dan a moment, but eventually he sits up and does the same, shoving his laptop in his bag along with one of his law textbooks. Phil takes one of the books he’d been using and disappears to put it back for him, and just the thought of the gesture warms Dan up from the inside.

It’d been a little over a month since they met and nothing had happened between them yet. Not that he didn’t love just being Phil’s best friend; he did, so much. But… He wouldn’t keep lying to himself, he was interested in Phil romantically. He didn’t know how to bridge the gap between friendship and more, though, not when he had no solid proof that Phil felt the same. Other than some assumptions that Phil liked him due to some of his behaviors, Dan had nothing to go on. And, he reasoned, someone can be nice to you without wanting to date you, and he can’t fault Phil for being a good person, even if it threw his emotions for a loop every time.

“Ready to go?” Phil asks, suddenly standing beside the table, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Dan nods, dragging himself out of his melancholy thoughts in order to stand and grab his own backpack. He follows Phil outside, sending the librarian a polite smile as they pass her. He’s not really paying attention to where he’s going, trusting Phil to lead them safely, so when his body collides into something solid, a squeak falls out of his mouth without his permission.

Phil glances over his shoulder at Dan, a smile on his face. “Sorry,” he apologizes for his abrupt stop that caused Dan to run into him. He gestures outside. “It’s pouring,” he informs him.

Fuck. Dan could honestly cry right now, in a totally not dramatic way. He’s just had a mentally draining day, and to see that on top of that it’s pouring down rain, well, it’s not his favorite thing ever, that’s for sure. He’s highly aware of the fact that his hair is tediously straightened and pushed up into a sort-of fluffy quiff that could never look anywhere near as good as Phil’s does. But he knows that this rain will very much ruin that illusion, and he’s hyper aware of the fact that Phil has yet to see his curly hair.

So, yeah, he could cry.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks, that same soft voice he always uses when he thinks Dan’s upset about something. “It probably won’t rain for long, we can wait it out, if you want,” he offers.

Dan’s inclined to say yes just so Phil doesn’t see his natural hair, but his growling stomach and borderline exhaustion demands that he find a soft sofa, preferably Phil’s, as soon as possible. “No, it’s fine,” Dan mumbles. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get to yours and order some food, right?”

Phil is definitely aware that Dan is not feeling right, but he graciously doesn’t call him out on it now. Dan knows that will not last, but he’s grateful for it nevertheless. “Of course. Come on, watch your step, it’s probably slippery.” Phil reaches for Dan’s hand probably without thinking, and Dan lets him take it. Phil’s hand is cool to the touch, despite the fact that it wasn’t all that cold inside the library, and Dan absently remembers something he’d said about a week ago when they were watching Bake Off at Phil’s flat.

“Dan, c’mere!” Phil whined, reaching for Dan’s shirt and tugging him into a sort-of-but-not-quite cuddle on the sofa. Dan went easily, allowing Phil to pull him in, completely unbothered. If anything, he was thrilled. Phil was a little tipsy, but Dan was more than happy to oblige this whim, and he’d make sure Phil’s inebriation didn’t lead to anything they wouldn’t allow themselves to do sober. “You’re so warm,” Phil sighed, tucking his head into the crook of Dan’s neck. “Like a little space heater.”

The memory of that moment flashes back into Dan’s mind now, and he can’t help but squeeze Phil’s hand, trying to transfer some of his warmth to the other man’s chilled fingers. Phil glances back at Dan, but doesn’t pull his hand away. He squeezes back and turns to watch where they’re going, leading the way sure-footedly. Dan’s happy to let him.

~~~

The rain is relentless the whole way back to Phil’s flat, and both of them are shivering by the time they get inside. Phil’s all mumbled apologies as he heads to his bedroom, going to retrieve some dry clothes for them to change into. Dan waves him off as he goes, tugging his sopping shoes off and depositing them next to the door. He peels off his hoodie, leaving his t-shirt practically plastered to his chest. It’s a bad day for a white t-shirt, he realizes, seeing the way it’s practically transparent with water.

“I got you a hoodie and some pants. Do you want-” Phil stops, and Dan looks up at him, holding his dripping hoodie out sheepishly.

“Sorry, I don’t know where you want me to put this,” Dan apologizes, gesturing with the wet fabric.

Phil is very obviously checking him out right now, but Dan is very much pretending not to be affected by it in the least. “Uh… I’ll throw it in the wash for you,” he answers, his voice a little strained. He shakes his head, perhaps to clear it, then reaches out to hand Dan the little bundle of clothes in his hand. “I left a couple pairs of sweatpants out on the bed, you can just pick whatever you want to wear. I know you’re picky about your matching outfits or whatever,” Phil sounds a little bit more himself, punctuating his words with a teasing roll of his eyes.

Dan sticks his tongue out childishly, trading his hoodie for the dry clothes. “If I don’t care about my look, I’ll end up with fashion catastrophes like this!” He complains, gesturing wildly to Phil’s bright yellow emoji bottoms, which he’s paired with an old Friends t-shirt.

Huffing, Phil pushes him gently into the direction of his bedroom. “Go get changed, you absolute menace. I’ll order chinese.”

“Ooh, get me some egg rolls,” Dan calls back. He hears an exasperated sigh, but he grins, knowing Phil will order him all the egg rolls he wants. He loves that about him, among other things. He finds several pairs of sweatpants on the bed, and after a moment of consideration he chooses a pair of plain grey ones. Not that it matters, he reasons with himself, even as he double checks that the grey doesn’t clash with the offensive highlighter green of the hoodie he’s been given.

After changing into Phil’s clothes, Dan takes his wet clothes down the hall and deposits them in Phil’s washer. He hasn’t started it running yet, so Dan goes ahead and does it himself, humming quietly as he tosses a tide pod in and sets the water temperature. When he’s finished, he turns around, nearly having a heart attack when he sees Phil standing there, watching him with a small smile.

“Bloody fuckin’ hell, you made me jump!” Dan nearly gasps, his hand flying up to clutch at his heart. “Why’re you creeping?” he asks, his voice bordering on whiny as he steps past him and goes to the lounge.

Phil giggles, like properly giggles, at that. “I wasn’t. You just didn’t hear me over your concert.”

Dan sends him a glare. “Don’t mock me, Lester.”

“I would never,” Phil promises, batting his eyelashes playfully. Dan doesn’t believe it for a second, but he rolls his eyes and drops onto the sofa, choosing to ignore him. “Your hair’s all wet,” he observes.

The reminder has Dan biting his lip and bringing his hands up to flatten it as much as he can. “I know,” he says sadly.

“Want me to get you a towel?” Phil offers.

When Dan shrugs, Phil takes this as permission and hauls himself off the sofa and disappears down the hall to the bathroom. Left alone, Dan takes a moment to look down at the hoodie he’s wearing now. It’s bright, bright green, a shade he normally wouldn’t be caught dead wearing, and it’s got the York University emblem on it. Dan vaguely remembers Phil saying he’d gone there, but it had been awhile since they’d talked about it, and Dan honestly didn’t have much reason to remember it. But, being wrapped in something so personal to Phil, who seemingly loved his university days, has Dan feeling warm and fuzzy and full of something that’s just a bit too close to something.

“Here,” Phil’s voice comes from beside him, and Dan looks up to see him holding a towel out for Dan as he sits down. The weight of the realization Dan’s just had, or what feels like a realization, leaves him immobile, staring dumbly at the towel like he doesn’t know what to do with it. “Want me to do it?” Phil offers, his voice dripping in sugar sweetness.

All Dan can do is nod numbly, but that’s all the permission Phil needs. He shifts to sit up on his knees, giving him a height advantage that normally Dan has between the two of them. He’s gentle as he rubs the towel over Dan’s hair, and Dan’s eyes are glued onto every shift in Phil’s expression. Phil seems to notice, his eyes dropping to study Dan’s face with a tender gaze. Carefully, slow enough that Dan could stop him if he wanted to, Phil shifts, moving one of his legs to the other side of Dan’s, properly straddling his lap when he settles.

“Dan,” Phil breathes out. The word sends shivers through Dan’s whole body. He’s warm all over, his chest a furnace of heat where his heart is frantically pumping to the whisper of his name leaving Phil’s lips. “Is this okay?”

Dan can’t breathe, he definitely can’t speak, so all he manages is a weak nod. Phil’s eyes search Dan’s, and there’s something cautious, unsure in his gaze. Dan hopes, he fucking prays that the same look isn’t mirrored in his own gaze, because god, he’s never been more sure about anything in his life. His hands, shaky as they are, come to rest gently at Phil’s hips. The touch startles Phil into shifting on his lap and Dan can’t help but drop his forehead to Phil’s shoulder with a soft groan.

“Sorry,” Phil laughs. His hand comes up to card through Dan’s curling hair, apparently dropping the pretense of drying it. “Your hair’s curly,” he notices, sounding surprised. This is not where Dan thought this was going at all. “I didn’t know your hair was curly.” He almost sounds offended.

Choking out a laugh at the ridiculous turn in conversation, Dan rolls his head to the side and stares incredulously up at Phil. “I know. That was intentional, believe me.”

Phil frowns at him. “It’s cute,” he says, his tone defensive.

Dan snorts. “For a hobbit, maybe.” He closes his eyes, relaxed in the way Phil pets his head gently.

“A very cute hobbit,” Phil insists. Dan feels his lips drag across his temple and he shivers again.

Pulling away, Dan looks up into Phil’s face and smiles at the adorable pout on his lips. And looking at that, Dan really doesn’t know that a stronger man could resist it. He leans in, but he remembers something important at the last second. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers, his lips a breath away from Phil’s.

There’s an audible gulp, and Dan readies himself for rejection. Phil’s lips part, and he knows, already, that it’s going to be a no, he could never be lucky to meet a guy who is both attractive and sweet and also gay and-

Two things happen at once.

Phil, for all his hesitation, breathes out a quiet, but certain, “yes.”

At the exact moment, there’s a jarring buzz, signalling the takeaway has arrived.

Dan has quite literally never been so full of disappointment.

They sit, frozen in the moment for just that- a moment. And then Phil’s sending him an apologetic smile, shifting to rise from Dan’s lap. Dan’s foolish hands latch onto his shirt, and Phil gently tugs them loose, a fleeting expression of sadness on his features. He hesitates, but then gestures to the door, backing away from the sofa. Dan’s certain his devastation is palpable.

“I’ll be right back.”

Dan can only watch him go. Whatever invisible wall was holding the waves of disappointment from crashing against the shore of Dan’s heart comes crumbling down the moment Phil disappears from view and Dan allows himself a moment to hurt for this missed opportunity. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, he allows it to wash over him. It was in the moment, he’s certain. That was his specific moment, maybe the only moment he’ll get to act on his feelings. Fuck. Fuck it all, if that’s how this dissipates between them. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair and-

“Dan.” Phil’s voice is firm, assured. Dan barely has the energy to look at him, but when he does something passes over Phil’s face, a clear understanding of what Dan’s feeling in this moment. He doesn’t give Dan a chance to respond, setting the takeaway bag on the coffee table and immediately resuming his position on Dan’s lap.

Confused but not opposed, Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s waist, clutching the t-shirt in his fingers. Phil smiles down at him. It’s a sweet, affectionate thing. His hand comes up to rest on Dan’s cheek, his thumb brushing down and dipping into the dimple Phil’s got such an affinity for. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers, repeating Dan’s own words.

Swallowing hard, Dan nods. “Yeah. Yeah, please.”

That’s all the permission Phil needs to lean in, framing Dan’s lips with his own. Dan’s hand comes up and rests on Phil’s wrist, his other still scrabbling for purchase against Phil’s side. He leans into the feeling of Phil’s lips on his, a soft give and take as they part and come back together several times, really just working out what the other likes. Phil’s not taking it further than the soft almost-open-mouth kisses that they’re sharing now, and Dan’s definitely okay with that.

After what probably isn’t more than five minutes, Phil gently presses a hand to Dan’s chest and slowly pulls away. His gaze is soft as he looks at Dan, his tongue absentmindedly swiping across his lips in a way that Dan thinks should be illegal. “Food, then… more of that?” Phil questions hopefully.

Dan nearly laughs. As if he wants literally anything else. “Absolutely more of that. The food can honestly go fuck itself right now, though, if I’m being honest.” Of course, his stomach decides that it’s an appropriate time to remind them how long it’s been since they’ve eaten, and they both glance down in surprise as it growls. Dan’s cheeks flush, while Phil cackles maniacally.

“Sorry, that was just- you tried- and then-” Phil is practically gasping for air, covering his mouth as he giggles. “Right. Let’s get some food in you, before you turn into the hulk or something.”

Dan pouts when Phil climbs off his lap and begins sorting out their food. “Rude, honestly.”

Phil hums, shrugging. “I bought your dinner, I reckon I can insist that you eat it,” he teases, grinning over his shoulder at Dan.

“Whatever, fine,” Dan says. He stands, gesturing to the kitchen. “Ribena?” He asks. He’s familiar enough with Phil’s kitchen that it doesn’t feel weird offering to go make their drinks.

“Wine, actually. There should be a bottle in the fridge from last time.” He doesn’t meet Dan’s eyes when he says this, but Dan’s secretly thrilled. They’d had a disagreement about whether or not you should chill wine before drinking it. Dan was pro-chill, and Phil was indifferent but insisted he didn’t have space in his refrigerator to keep a full bottle of wine. Much maneuvering later, Dan managed to fit in a smaller bottle of rose, much to his own delight.

“Right, some wine coming right up,” Dan says, affecting a heavily posh accent as he disappears into the kitchen.

As he’s pouring their drinks, the events of the last half hour finally hit him. He actually has to lower the bottle of wine to take a moment to process the fact that he’d just kissed his best friend. They’d fully made out, right there on Phil’s sofa. Dan manages to stifle his shocked laugh, because as thrilled as he is by this turn of events, he really doesn’t want Phil to hear him laughing to himself in his kitchen like some kind of idiot.

“A glass of rose, for you,” Dan announces as he comes back into the lounge.

Phil grins up at him, taking the drink with his nose raised up in the air. “Thank you, waiter,” he says, affecting a terrible posh accent.

Dan settles onto the sofa beside him, giving him a sideways glance. “Are you trying to mock me?”

There’s a sipping noise, and Phil offers a shrug as he smirks into his glass of wine. “Perhaps.”

“I do not talk like that.” He does.

Phil shrugs, setting his glass down. He looks back at Dan, tilting his head in a considering sort of way. “I reckon you kind of have some sort of Christopher Robin kinda vibe.”

Dan can’t help but dimple at him. “Winnie the Pooh was literally my favorite thing in the world when I was, like, six.”

“Really?” Phil asks. He sounds endeared. “That’s cute. You kinda look like Christopher Robin, too, actually.”

“I mean, right now I definitely look like a hobbit, not a cute animated character from a loveable children’s franchise, but thanks, I guess?”

Phil rolls his eyes at this, stuffing his mouth full of rice. He chews quickly, and as soon as he swallows he looks at Dan, his eyebrows furrowed in what looks like disappointment. “I really don’t like you talking trash about yourself. I think your hair is really cute.” Dan starts to protest and Phil raises a hand to stop him. “I know, but I’m just saying. You may not agree, but I just wanted you to know, that like, it’s a good look.”

Dan looks down at his food, his heart swooping as the words sink into his skin. He clears his throat, glancing over at Phil and nodding. “Right, well… thanks.”

There’s a smile on Phil’s face as he shrugs. He catches Dan off-guard, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Dan’s cheek. Dan’s face feels like it’s burning at the touch. “Netflix?”

~~~

It’s several hours later and the sun has set over the horizon, leaving a dusky light streaming in through the balcony door. Not that Dan is paying attention to the lighting right now. That’s the last thing on his mind, actually. Right now he’s sat in Phil’s lap, his mouth working fervently against Phil’s. Phil’s got his hands on Dan’s ass, and every now and then he squeezes gently, sending a shock of shivers down Dan’s spine. It’s so good, Dan is actually wondering why the hell they hadn’t tried this before.

Taking a breath, Dan pulls away, blinking blearily down at Phil. His hair is a mess from Dan’s hands running through it, and his lips are pink and slick with a mixture of their spit. He’s so goddamn perfect, Dan really wishes he had a camera.

With a laugh, he realizes he has access to a very nice camera right now. He twists his torso and reaches over to the coffee table, grabbing the very expensive and professional camera of Phil’s. He tinkers with it until he figures out how to turn it on, then he looks at Phil, raising his eyebrows in question. Phil studies him for a second but nods. Dan grins, lifting the camera up and taking what is probably a really clumsy and terrible shot of Phil’s face. He takes two more, and on the third, Phil reaches for Dan, sliding his hands up underneath his borrowed shirt.

“Oh!” Dan squeaks when Phil rubs his thumb over a nipple. Dan drops the camera, carefully, onto the cushion beside them. He sighs, dropping his head back as Phil leans in and latches his lips onto Dan’s neck.

He only kisses at first, then small nibbles follow. After a few moments, he tilts his head back and looks up at Dan with a smile. “Do you like this?” Phil asks, his voice incredibly sweet.

Dan laughs and nods, dropping a hand to run through Phil’s hair again. “God, yes. You can keep going. I really like it a lot.”

“Teeth?” Phil asks, scraping them gently across a patch of Dan’s skin as he says it.

A shiver runs over Dan’s spine, and his hand tightens in Phil’s hair. “Yes,” he breathes, barely holding in a moan.

Phil goes back to lavishing his neck in kisses, and now gentle bites that increase in intensity until Dan is a whining, throbbing mess, rocking his hips against Phil’s desperately. One of Phil’s hands comes down to squeeze his ass, and Dan just needs a little bit more, just a little, and he’ll get there.

“Fuck, Phil. I’m so close,” he pants, dropping his forehead against Phil’s shoulder. It makes it harder for Phil to access his neck, but Dan can’t take anymore of the torture. It’s too much.

“Do you want me to take care of you?” Phil whispers in his ear.

Dan doesn’t even consider saying no. “Yes,” he breathes.

Phil gently guides him off his lap, leaving Dan standing in front of him as he makes quick work of pulling down Dan’s sweatpants. His blue eyes dance with mischief behind wisps of fallen hair as he takes Dan in the palm of his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to the weeping head of his cock. “Is it weird to tell you that you’re just as beautiful here as you are everywhere else?” Phil whispers, his words dancing into the air between them.

Carefully, Dan drops a hand to Phil’s hair, brushing it back to see his eyes, unobstructed. “No. Not weird at all,” he murmurs, his voice suddenly strangled with emotion. Phil smiles up at him, and Dan’s so fucking gone.

The blowjob is one of the best he’s ever received. The awkwardness of being with a new person that way doesn’t claw through his ribs the way it normally does, he doesn’t try to hide from the way Phil holds his gaze as his cheeks hollow around Dan’s cock. He’s so… content, in Phil’s care, so unafraid of the way Phil handles him, sucking and wanking him with enthusiasm, as if they’ve done this a hundred times before. Dan’s whole body is on fire, and for every minute Phil works his mouth, he’s just that little bit closer to falling apart.

He tugs on Phil’s hair when he’s close. Phil blinks at him, maybe attempting a wink, but doesn’t stop his ministrations. Dan shivers. Pulling away for just a moment, Phil smacks his lips together and gazes up at Dan with something so heart-wrenchingly warm, Dan nearly looks away. “You can go in my mouth, if you want. I don’t mind the taste.”

Dan pets his hair. It’s ridiculously soft and smooth, just a bit greasy from going a little too long unwashed. Dan loves it. “Okay,” he murmurs. He gently guides Phil back to where he was, and Phil goes eagerly. Dan isn’t sure if it’s his enthusiastic approach to the task, or the way Phil’s eyes look, but when he falls over the edge, filling Phil’s throat with release, he feels the relief deep in his bones.

Phil neatly tucks Dan back into his pants before pulling his sweatpants up his legs, while Dan’s arms remain useless at his sides. He watches as Phil leans in, nuzzling his stomach before pressing a kiss to the waistband of the sweats, and Dan’s dizzy with the fresh wave of heat that courses through his body.

Rather than acting on his own sudden desire, Dan drops to his knees before the sofa, staring up at Phil and running his hands over his thighs. He’s impressed with Phil’s stamina, because despite being very obviously hard, he’s not touched himself this whole time. Phil stares down at Dan with such a sweet, easy grin, that Dan knows, he just knows that he can never go back from this. This feeling, the way Phil looks at him like he’s just put every star in the sky- Dan’s already addicted to it.

“Phil,” Dan breathes. He brings his hand that much closer to where Phil so desperately needs him. “Let me touch you.”

Phil kisses him. The angle should be awkward, with Dan knelt on the floor the way he is, but it’s nothing more than perfect. When they part, Phil sinks the pad of his thumb into Dan’s dimple. “Touch me,” he encourages.

The flutter of excitement in his stomach propels Dan forward, pushing gently on Phil’s shoulders so he’ll lean back, giving Dan space to work. Phil’s pajama bottoms, as disgustingly bright yellow as they might be, are loose and easy to work down Phil’s thighs. Dan’s patience expires there, however, and he makes no further move to remove them completely, instead shifting forward and tugging at the red Calvins that are so useless in concealing the shape of Phil.

“Fuck,” Dan whines as soon as they’re out of the way.

“Hm?” Phil inquires. His eyes are hooded when Dan looks up, and if he didn’t know any better, he might think Phil was drunk.

Dan swallows hard before leaning forward, giving a few little kitten licks to the head of Phil’s cock. “You’ve got a lovely cock. I thought you would.”

Phil groans. His hand catches in the mess of Dan’s drying hair. “How often have you thought about it?”

Dan pretends to consider this. “Enough,” he decides. Every day, his subconscious adds. He doesn’t give Phil a chance to respond, getting right down to business, stretching his lips around Phil and relishing in the weight on his tongue, the taste of him, the texture. All these things he loves about sucking cock, but attached to a person he loves even more.

The thought shocks him enough that he manages to accidentally gag himself.

“You alright?” Phil whispers, ever the considerate one. His hands are carding through Dan’s curls, and he’s got an awed look about him, as if he likes Dan’s hair like this, likes Dan like this.

Dan nods mutely. He has to pause, though, just so the thought bouncing around his head doesn’t do something reckless, like take a step out of his mouth. He presses a fleet of kisses to Phil’s thighs, counting them so that both thighs will get an equal amount of affection. When his head finally quiets, Phil’s growing soft.

“I’m sorry,” Dan murmurs. He presses his lips to the side of Phil’s cock and suckles. “My head was being loud. I needed a minute.”

Phil’s eyes could be screaming, the affection in them is that loud. “Take your time. If you’re uncomfortable, we can stop.”

Shaking his head, Dan offers him a grin. “Don’t get greedy, Lester. You’ve already shown me your willy, you might as well share it.”

Phil squeaks, his cheeks tinting with pink. He covers his face with his hands, peeking through the forest of fingers to blink at Dan. “Well, go on, then. You can… you know. As a treat.”

Dan giggles. He kisses Phil’s left thigh, then his right. Then he takes him back into his mouth, wrapping a hand around the base. One of Phil’s hands slips into Dan’s hair, but the other tangles with the fingers of Dan’s free hand. For every swirl of his tongue through Phil’s slit, Dan squeezes Phil’s fingers, and every time Dan drops to take him deeper, Phil tugs on his hair, a whispered apology falling from his lips every time.

“Close, Dan.” Phil sounds breathless, and Dan glances up at him, shivering at the sight of Phil already staring back, his full bottom lip captured between his teeth as he gazes down at him.

Dan doesn’t like the taste, normally. He usually only swallows to be polite, or if it’s convenient.

When Phil releases into his mouth, Dan swallows for neither of those reasons. He’s curious, and he wants to know how he tastes. Some part of him probably also just wants to impress Phil, but that part is secondary to the way his tongue cleans Phil off when he’s finished, greedy for a closeness that such an intimate part of sex provides.

When he pulls away, he blinks up at Phil, a little blearily. Phil sighs contently before swiping his thumb across Dan’s lips, no doubt cleaning him up. Dan doesn’t realize he’s crying until Phil swipes at his cheeks. “Come here,” he murmurs, tugging Dan up.

His legs are tv static beneath him, and will certainly be sore tomorrow, but Dan allows Phil to tug him into a sort of cradle in his lap. He doesn’t speak, he only pets Dan’s hair, peppering his face with sweet kisses while Dan thinks. It was only a couple tears, really, he justifies himself. Probably from allowing Phil as far down his throat as he did. There’s no other reason he would be emotional enough to cry while giving a blowjob, that’s for sure.

Dan’s not sure how long they sit there like that, but eventually he realizes it’s dark and panics. “I need to go.”

Phil’s eyes flash with hurt. “You can stay,” he argues gently.

He could. “I can’t,” Dan whispers.

Phil presses his forehead to Dan’s temple and takes a deep breath. “Tell me I don’t have anything I need to apologize for.”

Dan sinks his hand into Phil’s ruffled hair. “Of course you don’t. I wanted this.”

At that, Phil flinches away like he’s been burned. “As in, past tense? Like you don’t anymore?” His voice is panicked, and Dan would do, or will do, anything to calm him.

He gently cups Phil’s cheek, pressing a soft kiss to his cherry lips. “I want it. I want you.”

“Then stay,” Phil breathes.

Phil won’t make him. Dan knows he won’t. But he feels chained to this sofa, to Phil, as if he can feel the metal carving into his wrists.

“I’ll stay,” Dan promises.

~~~

When Dan wakes up, the first thing he notices is a weight against his back. It takes him a second to remember the night before, but when he does, his lips twitch into a smile. Carefully, so he doesn’t wake Phil, he shifts, rolling over until he comes face to face with the other man. Phil’s mouth is dropped open in sleep, and Dan leans closer, admiring his beautiful eyelashes. He feels a little creepy staring at Phil while he’s sleeping, but Dan can’t tear his eyes away. There’s just something so soft about Phil deep in sleep, something that has Dan completely captivated.

Until Phil begins to wake up, that is.

Dan quickly scoots back, pretending he just woke up to save himself the embarrassment. He watches Phil wake up through half-lidded eyes, smirking to himself when Phil smacks his lips loudly, only to groan when he realizes how bad his morning breath is, probably. His blue eyes flicker over to Dan and suddenly that gorgeous grin is taking over his features again, filling Dan with this bubbly sort of happiness that he doesn’t even try to hide.

“Good morning,” Phil mumbles, his voice scratchy from sleep. Dan feels his face flood with heat at the way that sound affects his still-sleepy body.

“Hi,” Dan squeaks, turning over to hide his growing problem in his pants. “Sleep well?”

“Mhm. But the waking is better by far,” Phil says with a cheeky grin. Dan returns it, right up until Phil leans in, planning to kiss him no doubt.

Dan makes quick work of covering Phil’s mouth. “Not so fast there, Casanova,” he tuts.

He feels Phil frown against the palm of his hand. “Why not? I had your willy in my mouth last night, and now I don’t get a good morning kiss?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “First of all, you need some lessons on consent. I can consent to something one day and not want it the next, you turnip.”

Phil presses a gentle kiss to the palm of Dan’s hand. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He pauses for a beat. “Could I please have a morning kiss?” he asks sweetly.

“Pft,” Dan snorts. He pats Phil’s mouth softly. “You didn’t brush your teeth last night, so that’s a hard no, bub.”

“Okay. How about if I go brush and use mouthwash? Then can I have a tiny kiss?” Phil requests, his eyes lighting up with joy. Dan wants to laugh at him- he’s like a little kid begging for a new toy.

“I’ll consider it,” he teases.

No sooner are the words out of his mouth before Phil is stumbling his way off the bed and making his way to the bathroom. “Be right back!” he sing-songs.

Dan snorts but watches him go. Left alone, the creeping doubts and worries begin weighing on him. They haven’t defined this, whatever it is, and Dan doesn’t want to be the one to ask. Phil’s older, he reasons, so he should be the one to ask Dan out or whatever. Just the thought of actually seriously dating Phil at all is enough to make him want to throw up with happy nerves, the best possible kind of lovesick butterflies inhabiting his stomach.

Still, as excited as it makes him, Dan doesn’t want to be the one to initiate the awkward “what are we” talk. He’s had his heart broken far too many times over that talk, or at the very least his pride. Another, smaller voice, argues that maybe he shouldn’t consider dating Phil at all. Their friendship is, after all, founded on Phil needing Dan for his photography project. Sure they have lots in common, but Phil has a whole other adult life outside of depressed, failing-law-school little Dan. And as much as Dan wants to believe Phil might actually like him beyond the circumstances of their friendship, he just very seriously doubts it. He might just be in this for the free model and the sex, now that they’ve evidently added that to the mix as well.

He’s thinking that this just reaffirms his reluctance to bring up the status of their relationship to Phil when his thoughts are derailed by Phil barrelling back into the room, hopping up onto the bed and immediately going to straddle Dan’s lap. “My mouth is minty fresh for you now,” he announces proudly.

Dan grins. “Just for me?”

Phil nods, mirroring the smile. “A little kiss?” he asks, holding his hand out and indicating a tiny amount with his fingers.

Rolling his eyes, Dan brings a hand up to massage at Phil’s side. “Don’t you want me to go brush my teeth too?”

To Dan’s surprise, Phil shrugs carelessly. “I honestly don’t mind it, but if you want to, I’ll wait.”

Dan blinks up at him. Phil stares right back, not caving. After several moments pass in their weird staring contest, Dan shrugs. “Alright, come here, then.”

Phil goes eagerly, pressing his lips to Dan’s with an intensity and passion that Dan wasn’t prepared for considering how early it probably is. Processing the time is a mistake, apparently, because as soon as that part of Dan’s brain is functioning, so is the part that reminds him that today is a Wednesday, which means he has class.

Pulling away with a sharp gasp, Dan reaches frantically to the side, searching for his phone in a panic.

“Dan?” Phil asks, his voice concerned.

“My phone- what time is it?” He asks, fumbling around on his- well, Phil’s- nightstand.

Phil shuffles off his lap, giving Dan space to sit up and finally grab his phone. He presses the power button and feels a fresh surge of panic realizing he’s only got half an hour, at best, to get up, change, and make it halfway across town back to campus for his nine o’clock property law lecture.

“I’m so late, fuck, I’m so fucked, god-” Dan rants, climbing out of bed and searching for clothes; his, Phil’s, right now he doesn’t care, he just needs to be dressed and out this door like now. “Fuck! Where are my- jeans, I need jeans. Did I wear jeans? What am I- pajamas, fuck,” Dan’s mumbling to himself under his breath.

“Dan?” Phil asks from where Dan left him on the bed. When Dan glances at him, he looks a little hurt. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, fuck, sorry, Phil. I’ve got class, and I really shouldn’t skip it, but later? We can-” he forces himself to stop there with the reminder that the ball is in Phil’s court right now. Dan clears his throat, glancing away. “Just let me know when you want to work on the photo series again, and we can sort out a time, yeah?”

“Er… Sure, okay,” Phil says slowly, like he doesn’t quite get it. “I think your clothes are still in my washer,” he says, his voice apologetic. “I forgot to switch the load out last night when we… er…” He trails off, and when Dan glances at him, his face is dusted with pink. It’s beautiful- he’s beautiful.

Dan shrugs the thought away. He makes the split-second decision to ignore what transpired the night before, at least until Phil confirms that the feelings Dan’s got are mutual. “Do you think I could borrow something of yours?” he asks, timid.

Phil smiles, a soft twitch of his lips, before nodding and moving to the dresser. “I’ll find you some jeans, but you can pick whatever from my closet,” he instructs, waving Dan towards the open closet door. Dan vaguely remembers whispering complaints to Phil about it the night before, whining about how creepy it was to sleep with the closet door open. Phil had ignored him, obviously.

After barely a minute of searching, Dan pulls out a sort of atrocious sweater, mostly black but with some purple and orange stripes that reminds him vaguely of the nineties. He doesn’t think before he shrugs out of his borrowed shirt, tugging the sweater over his head in its place. By the time he turns around, Phil’s stood there gazing at him with something adoring in his eyes.

“Here you go,” he says, holding out a pair of black jeans. “They’re ripped, just like you like them,” he teases.

Dan grins at him as he pushes his borrowed sweatpants off his legs. “Thanks, mate,” he replies. He tugs the jeans on, surprised that they fit him. Phil gives him a strange look when Dan makes a surprised noise and Dan shrugs. “Your ass is bigger than mine, so I’m just surprised these actually fit me. Flat ass problems,” he says, grinning at the way Phil blushes.

“I- you- I do not,” Phil argues pathetically. “My ass is-”

“Perfect,” Dan grins, unable to help himself, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around Phil’s waist. He kisses him deeply, convincing himself he’s got the time to do so. He doesn’t, not really.

“Shut up,” Phil mumbles against his mouth.

“‘S true,” Dan argues. “You’ve got a great ass. Mine isn’t nearly as mouth-watering as yours.” He’s taking the piss, a little, but mostly to cover the fact that he’s had many a wet dream about that plump ass on those long legs of Phil’s.

“Your… Yours is… perfectly adequate, Daniel,” Phil argues between kisses.

“Mhm,” Dan mumbles, not even listening. He swipes his tongue across Phil’s lips before forcing himself to step away. “I really need to go.” He can’t keep the guilt out of his voice.

Phil’s face drops, and Dan nearly cries at how disappointed he looks. “Yeah… Okay. I’ll text you later?” He sounds unsure.

Dan nods hurriedly, almost to spite the voice that’s telling him to shut up and not jeopardize their friendship. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you later?”

Phil nods. “Alright.” He walks Dan to the door, where he pulls on his shoes hurriedly. Just before Dan turns to leave, Phil darts forward and kisses him again. “Be safe. Learn something new!”

“Alright, Dad,” Dan jokes, rolling his eyes. Phil’s nose crinkles adorably at the endearment. “Bye, Phil.”

“Bye, Dan,” Phil echoes, holding the door as Dan leaves.

Dan doesn’t hear it close until he’s at the end of the hall.

~~~

There’s a subtle shift in Dan’s life after that, or at least the part of his life that’s intertwined with Phil’s. It’s not so obvious at first, just hanging out a bit more often without the constant excuse of Phil’s photo series hanging over their heads.

And then, of course, there’s the sex. That’s rather new, Dan thinks to himself as he goes to let Phil into the flat he shares with three other blokes. They’re busy, out-going types, which is something that Dan is super disgusted by and can in no way relate to. But their frequent absence does have its perks, like now, when Phil wanted to see him and wanted to get out of his own flat. Up until now Dan hasn’t invited him over due to his roommates, but upon Phil’s insistence, he’d caved.

“Hi,” Dan greets when he opens up the front door.

Phil grins, stepping forward and pressing a kiss to Dan’s cheek. “Hello there,” he says happily. He’s got a backpack slung over his shoulder, which Dan notices as Phil steps past him and further into the flat. “Will there be a grand tour?” He asks with a joking tone.

Dan snorts. He waves Phil ahead of him, into the lounge, which connects to a kitchen. There’s a hallway that cuts between the two common areas, and each of the four bedrooms, plus the shared bathroom, are that way. “This is it,” Dan says with a vague gesture around the room.

Phil takes it all in, as if there’s actually anything to see. “It’s cozy,” he says mildly.

He’s not sure if it’s just the sort of weird mood he’s been in or if that actually bothers Dan, but either way, he frowns. “I mean, I told you it wasn’t much, I don’t know what you expected.” He doesn’t mean to be harsh, but the tone flavors his words without his permission.

There’s a quirk to Phil’s left eyebrow when he looks at Dan. He definitely picked up on Dan’s attitude. “It just doesn’t look like you,” Phil says with a shrug. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Dan.”

Dan nods, looking away. He doesn’t want to fight with him. “RIght.” He nods to the hall. “Bedroom’s this way.”

He’s fully expecting a joke, so when it doesn’t come, he tenses. Something angry and red is poking at his anxiety demon, causing it to stir. He hates that feeling, he really, really does. Trying not to show it, he leads Phil into his room and promptly goes to sit on the bed, leaning back and watching as Phil surveys the new space. If Dan thought he was being observant in the lounge, his attention to detail in this room is tenfold. He studies every poster, every trinket, every key on Dan’s keyboard, as he slowly moves around the room.

They don’t speak for what feels like hours, but eventually, Phil drops his backpack on the floor by the bed and settles in front of Dan with a smile. “This is better,” he announces in a pleased voice.

Dan blinks at him. “What is?” He asks dumbly.

Phil reaches out and tucks his pinky underneath the rip of Dan’s jeans, stroking the skin there softly. “This room. It’s more you.”

“You think?” Dan asks, tilting his head as he considers it.

Phil nods with a smile. “It is, yeah. It’s full of little Dan things. I like it a lot.”

Dan tries, very hard, not to let that go to his head. “Thanks,” he says, unsure of what else to say.

There’s another silence as Phil tucks two more fingers into the rip of Dan’s jeans. It’s not really any sort of sexual searching, just patient, calming touches that go straight to Dan’s heart. Dan’s staring at his leg and Phil’s staring at him, always watching him when he’s at his most vulnerable.

Without a word, Phil pulls his hand away and kicks his shoes off, crawling up the bed to curl himself around Dan’s side. He hums a questioning noise, and Dan just nods mutely, allowing himself to be maneuvered into a cuddle. Dan can breathe easier then, avoiding Phil’s eyes but feeling the comfort of his body wrapped around Dan’s. There’s a warm kiss pressed to the spot just behind Dan’s ear and he lets out a breath.

“How about a nap?” Phil asks on a whisper.

“Are you staying the night?” Dan asks, glancing over at Phil’s backpack.

“I was going to, but if you’d rather I didn’t-” Phil begins.

Dan interrupts him with a shake of his head. “I want you to stay,” he says, voice small. He rolls over in Phil’s arms so they’re facing each other, clutching the front of Phil’s shirt in his hand. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Dan apologizes.

Phil smiles, ducking forward and pressing a soft kiss to Dan’s lips. “It’s alright,” he whispers when he pulls away. He lifts a hand to Dan’s hair, stroking the chocolate waves gently. “Do you actually wanna nap?”

Dan shrugs, feeling a flush on his cheeks at what he thinks is the sound of a suggestion. “I’m not really in the mood for like, sex, if that’s what you’re asking.”

There’s a look of panicked surprise on Phil’s face at this, and he’s quick to shake his head. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I just meant, like, we can watch a movie? If you want to do that instead of sleep.”

Chewing his lip, Dan considers this. “I probably won’t be paying a whole lot of attention,” he admits, almost ashamed of his lack of attention span.

Phil smiles. “That’s alright.” He sits up and reaches for his backpack, pulling his laptop out and setting it on the bed. Before opening it, he turns to Dan with a quirked brow. “Are we going anywhere tonight?” he asks.

Dan shakes his head with a snort. “I’m not,” he says, disgusted at the very idea of leaving his warm bed.

“Good,” Phil says with a grin. He stands, immediately tugging his jeans down his legs. Dan isn’t sure if he’s meant to look away, but he doesn’t. He isn’t even particularly interested in a sexual sense, he’s just curious about how Phil looks when he’s getting undressed for bed. Phil looks up at him after tossing his jeans to the floor, and he has a light dusting of pink across his cheekbones when he sees Dan watching. “Quit looking at me,” he whines, climbing back into bed.

Dan turns his head pointedly to stare at Phil. “You’re nice to look at,” he says with a shrug.

Phil rolls his eyes. “You should take yours off too,” he says, poking Dan’s side.

Pulling the cover up, Dan gestures to his sweatpant-clad legs. “I’m already in my pjs, bub.”

“I know that,” Phil says with a sneaky little smirk as he opens his laptop and goes to Netflix. “But I think we ought to match.”

Dan huffs. “What if I get cold, huh?” He asks, quite theoretically, considering his body temperature almost always runs high.

Phil kisses his cheek. “I’ll keep you warm, baby,” he says sweetly.

Dan, embarrassingly, blushes at that. They still hadn’t defined this… whatever it was, so for now Dan only knew that he was quickly catching feelings for Phil. That was dangerous enough without the complication of their involvement for Phil’s photography project, so Dan’s decided that the easiest way to handle this is to ignore it. They can be friends, they can have casual sex, but he can’t even consider what would happen if those feelings turned into something more. His friendship with Phil had become one of the most important parts of his life, and he’d be beyond devastated if he did something, intentional or not, to jeopardize that.

Instead of acting on his instinct to move closer, emotionally and physically, Dan snorts, covering up the racing of his heart. “Shut up,” he says, struggling to keep the fond out of his voice. “Can we watch Avengers?” he asks, changing the subject as quickly as possible.

Phil smiles at him. He types for a moment before turning the screen around, where, sure enough, he’s pulled up the first Avengers movie. He fiddles with the settings on the volume and screen size for a moment before pressing play, snuggling back on the bed. He very unsubtly moves his arm to wrap it around Dan’s shoulders, ignoring Dan’s faux-annoyed huff at the cliche gesture.

“Are you hungry?” Phil asks him in a quiet voice only a few minutes into the film. “I may have brought some popcorn with me,” he admits, shameless.

Dan can’t help but roll his eyes. “Did you bring the kind I like?” he asks, mostly kidding. He’d only mentioned it once or twice, that a certain brand of popcorn tasted better to him, but ever since then he’s noticed that particular brand taking up more space in Phil’s cupboards.

To his surprise, Phil nods. “I did. I even brought that candy you like to pour into the popcorn.”

Hiding a pleased smile against Phil’s chest, Dan huffs. “Will you make the popcorn if I get the drinks sorted?”

Phil kisses his forehead. The gesture warms Dan’s entire face. “Sure,” Phil says easily. He goes to climb out of the bed, then stops suddenly, staring down at his bare legs. “Would your roommates be particularly offended by a half-naked man in your kitchen?” He sounds only partially concerned.

Dan grins, pulling Phil towards the door. “They’ll get over it if they are.”

~~~

They don’t have sex that time. Looking back on it, Dan thinks that’s an important thing to remember about the first time he invited Phil into his home. Whether it was because he could just tell that Dan was having a bad day, or maybe just not in the mood himself, Phil doesn’t initiate anything sexual, not even when they’re curled around each other watching stupid YouTube videos at two in the morning. Instead, he just holds Dan, and allows him to be.

Dan thinks about that a lot, later, after everything falls apart.

~~~

#phanfiction #phanfic #photographer!phil #student!dan #model!dan (sort of)#friends to lovers #best friends #miscommunication #angst #fluff #smut #break up #getting back together #photography fic #take a picture (it'll last longer)#tapill #part 1

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

Text

not trying to hide it

pairing: dan howell/phil lester rating: explicit tags: flatmate au, strangers to lovers, smut, fluff word count: 5.6k summary: Phil's parents want him to get a flatmate. Bryony wants to get her newly-evicted mate off her couch. It’s not quite luck or fate, but Phil is thankful anyway.

a birthday present for the lovely and hilarious @karcathy !!!!! they deserve only good things and you should all go wish them a happy birthday!

read on ao3 or here!

Phil doesn’t want to get a flatmate. He likes having his own space, because he can mess it up as much as he likes and doesn’t need to worry about someone making noise while he’s trying to sleep. He only pays part of his own rent, though - half during a good month - so he doesn’t have much of a choice when his parents tell him to find someone who can cover at least a third of it. London isn’t cheap, and Phil makes a fluctuating amount of money, and he supposes his parents are well within their rights to insist he gets his life together at some point.

He’s pretty sure that they helped him pick out a two bedroom so that he would do that eventually. Maybe they’d had some kind of pipe dream about nurseries? In either case, Phil’s just had his miscellaneous junk piled in the spare for over a year. There’s a futon in it whenever Martyn or PJ come over and don’t feel like taking the Tube home, but it’s currently piled high with unopened packages and stuffed animals.

Clearing the room is probably the biggest task. Phil’s got a lot of clutter, and getting rid of it is weirdly difficult sometimes. Most of it just ends up in his room or in the common area, making the rest of the flat look even more topsy than it already did. Opening all the PR is fun, until suddenly he’s got dozens of empty parcels to dispose of and various merch items from his online friends scattered all over the rug. At least most of it is clothing and accessories - he’s got enough storage in his room to handle more clothes. It’s the trinkets that he’s got problems finding space for.

Phil’s parents didn’t give him a deadline, which was probably a mistake. He’s all too happy to just exist with a barren spare room until they get on his case again, but that’s before Bryony gets ahold of him. Somehow, she scares him a lot more than his own mum does.

“Phil,” she says, blunt and businesslike as if she’s calling from work. Maybe she is - it’s quarter to four, which he supposes is a normal time for adults to be at work. Phil is in his pants and eating cereal. He didn’t even want to answer the phone, really, too invested in the complicated storyline playing out on Riverdale, but he knows she’d just keep calling until he did. “Have you cleared out that room yet?”

“Yes, mum,” says Phil. “I hated every second of it.”

“Good,” Bryony says. Which part she’s replying to is unclear. “My mate just got kicked out of his place and I want him off my couch. Will you bump him up the nonexistent list of potentials you’ve got?”

Phil pauses the Riverdale episode. It’s hard to focus on that and Bryony’s drama. “Well, that depends on why he got kicked out. Like, is he a dick? Did he not pay rent? Did he leave dishes in the sink for three weeks? Did he kick a hole in the wall trying to do drunk karate?”

“You need to stop comparing people to your uni housemates. No, nothing like that.”

“Then what happened?”

There’s a pause, and then Bryony makes a disapproving sort of noise. “It’s not exactly my fucking story to tell, is it? I’ll just say he ran into a bigot landlord and leave it at that, yeah?”

Something like guilt for pushing the issue settles into Phil’s stomach, but he scolds himself. He couldn’t have known that, and he didn’t want to blindly do a favour for someone troubled and stupid and in need of help. Bryony has a habit of collecting those people. When Phil feels like being honest with himself, he can recognise that he’s in that category as well. He doesn’t really feel like it today.

“Fine,” Phil says, like it’s a bigger hardship than it is. “Send him over, uh, Thursday?”

“I’ll send him over tonight,” says Bryony. Phil makes a loud noise of protest that she bowls right over. “You said the room is empty. Dan is eight feet tall and he snores like a lawnmower. I want him off my couch.”

Bryony’s mate isn’t eight feet tall, obviously, although Phil thinks it would be pretty cool if he were. The flat has high ceilings that Phil has to jump to touch, and he’s been amusing himself by picturing a giant of a man reaching up and just tapping on them. He does have to duck around the hanging light in the kitchen, but so does Phil.

“I’m convinced that’s going to be the thing that kills me,” Phil says conversationally.

Dan hasn’t said much, mostly just mumbling awkward pleasantries, but he laughs at that. When he laughs, Phil sees a glint of silver in his mouth that has his brain short-circuiting a little bit.

“Maybe,” Dan says as he looks dubiously into Phil’s cupboards. “Only if the sugar intake doesn’t get you first, mate. Why the fuck do you need four bags of marshmallows?”

“They’re different sizes!”

“Do you do a lot of baking or something?”

The question makes Phil flash back to the last time he tried to make muffins. The stain from that adventure turned meltdown still hasn’t come out of his favourite jeans. Whatever expression twists onto his face makes Dan laugh again, louder, and Phil decides that being a little stupid is worth hearing that unabashed sound. He gives Dan a sheepish grin and sticks his hands in his pockets. “No. I just like marshmallows.”

“You know they’ve got gelatin in them, right?” Dan asks like he’s trying to be serious, but the twitching of his lips gives him away.

“I like jello, too.”

“That’s not what -” Dan starts, and then honks. “How d’you know Bryony again?”

That’s a bit of a long, mortifying story, but Phil tells it anyway. He makes tea as he relives spilling a blue cocktail on her very expensive shoes and then following her around like a puppy while he tried to make it up to her. Normally he’d feel like he was talking too much, but Dan leans against the breakfast bar with attentive brown eyes and laughs in all the right places, so Phil doesn’t feel that hint of self-consciousness.

He hands Dan’s tea over in a Kirby mug and pours his own into an ugly commemorative one from a dinky Florida gift shop. For a moment, there’s quiet. Dan doesn’t seem uncomfortable as much as he seems contemplative, running his tongue absently over his teeth to catch on the silver ball in his tongue.

Then Dan says, “I don’t have any mugs. Or furniture. Or anything, really.”

“Nothing?” Phil asks, wondering if he ought to be aghast or just empathetic. He wonders if that has something to do with Dan being kicked out, or if he’s one of those minimalist people. “Not even, like, clothes?”

“I’ve got clothes, Jesus,” says Dan. Despite his grumbling, he looks more embarrassed than anything.

“Well,” Phil says, then comes up short. He hasn’t had to live with other people in so long, he forgets how this part works. “You can use whatever I’ve got. I don’t expect you to go out and buy your own plates or something, that would be silly. And we’d probably put off dishes even longer if I did.”

Dan smiles, but there’s a wariness that Phil doesn’t quite understand. “Okay. Thanks.” He takes a long sip of his tea, eyes fluttering closed for a moment, and Phil reminds himself - not for the first time, not even for the first time today - that it’s pointless to think about how pretty a guy is when nothing is going to come of it. “So you’re, like, really okay with me living here? You don’t need to let Bryony bully you.”

“Not quite sure what the alternative is,” Phil jokes, “but I don’t mind. I need a flatmate.”

“I can be a good flatmate,” Dan says, with a weirdly determined air about him. Phil has no reason not to believe him, aside from his own bad experiences with young men sharing space with him, but at least Dan isn’t a uni lad.

Phil finds himself shrugging. “Okay,” he says, because this is all going much easier than he expected. He supposes Bryony was doing him a favour as much as he was doing her one, because the relief of not having to do a bunch of interviews with potentially creepy strangers is settling into him now. “Rent’s due on the first, the water pressure sucks on weekends, and I’m gay.”

Dan blinks. Some of that wariness melts into something that Phil can’t read before he looks down at his tea.

“Me too,” Dan tells the drink. “More or less.”

It takes actual effort for Phil to bite back the joke. Maybe if the admission weren’t pulling at Dan’s shoulders in such an obvious way, he’d ask if Dan meant he also sucked on weekends. Instead, he just smiles. “That’s good. If Bry sent me a homophobe, I’d have to return her Christmas present.”

Dan leaves just long enough to get his bags, and then Phil has a flatmate. He promises to get a key cut in the morning, but Dan just shrugs and says he doesn’t leave the house much anyway, so there’s not much of a rush. That’s when Phil figures out that they both work from home, and anxiety swirls in his gut at the idea of that quickly becoming an issue. It’s so much easier to get on each other’s nerves when they’re both around practically all day every day, but that’s a bridge he’ll have to burn when he comes to it, or whatever.

For a couple of days, Dan is like a wounded animal that only comes out of hiding when he hears the fridge door open. Phil knows there isn’t really anything left in the room aside from his futon and a desk that he and Martyn tried to put together tispy, but he supposes that Dan’s got a laptop and big padded headphones to entertain himself with.

After a little while of getting used to the place, though, Dan starts doing his work in the common area of the flat. He’ll sit at the breakfast bar to sort through potential articles with the air of someone very bored on Tinder or make a nest on the corner of the sofa to watch Phil play Zelda. He’s good about staying quiet whenever Phil is streaming, but sometimes he’ll laugh or tease Phil for a dumb move, and people start wondering who the voice out of frame is.

They play games together, too, when neither of them have work to do - or, more accurately, are avoiding their tasks for a little while with pizza and Mario Kart - and Dan wins more often than not. That should probably be embarrassing to Phil, since he plays video games for a living, but he’s never been the type to try and excel at every single game he plays. It’s more about the entertainment, both for himself and for his audience. He imagines Dan feels similarly torn between sheepish and intrigued when Phil looks at the HTML on Dan’s laptop and points to an issue that Dan’s been trying to find for an hour.

Dan is a nerd with a contagious laugh who writes up a chart of ridiculous Riverdale theories on their fridge whiteboard, and it’s getting more and more difficult for Phil not to notice him.

His hair looks soft, his eyes are as expressive as the rest of him, he’s all lanky limbs and hairless chest when he hangs out half-naked - which is unfortunately often - but his mouth is probably the worst offender. He’s always chewing on a pen or toying with his tongue ring, like he’s got to be doing something with it when he’s not talking, and that’s not a train of thought that Phil should be going down except during the privacy of his showertime.

At this point, he’s not sure if he should thank Bryony or strangle her for delivering him a gorgeous ‘more or less’ gay man with all the same hobbies and interests as him, because there are too many ways for this to end badly and only, like, one way he wants it to end.

Phil is streaming Apex Legends in a surprisingly competent team when his phone rings. It doesn’t ring very often, and it’s probably Bryony asking why he’s been holed up for over a month, so he ignores it. It’s only when it starts ringing again, immediately after it stops, that he frowns.

“Hey, Dan,” he calls. Last time he checked, Dan was rearranging the spice shelf into something that makes a bit more sense than its current state. He thinks it’s a little silly, and he’ll probably still reach for the hot chocolate in the wrong place, but he likes that Dan has been making himself more at home lately. He’s noticed a few of his knick-knacks shifting around the room as well. “Can you check who’s calling?”

There’s a clattering noise that slightly worries Phil, and then Dan says, “It’s your mum.”

Phil freezes. He’s in the middle of something, sure, but he’s been waiting for this call. He doesn’t want to tell the couple thousand people watching him play about his dad’s health, so for a long moment he doesn’t know what to do.

Then, Dan is leaning over the back of the sofa. He takes the controller from Phil’s hands and replaces it with his still-buzzing phone.

“Go talk to her,” he murmurs. “I’ll keep playing for you.”

Gratitude washes over Phil, and he practically runs to his room to take the call. He doesn’t have time to worry about what his Twitch audience will think of Dan’s sudden appearance after so much time as a disembodied voice, because he’s got to spend all his brain power concentrating on the things his mum is telling him. At least he knows he’s not letting his team down - if anything, getting Dan as defense is an upgrade.

The conversation with his mum is long, but it’s all good news. Phil lets his mum talk his ear off, because the relief in her voice is so palpable and contagious that he doesn’t have the heart to say he’s in the middle of a video game. She only says goodbye when he gently reminds her to call Martyn as well, and then Phil is alone in his room with nothing but the pounding of his own heart in his ears for company. They’ve had good news (and bad news and no news) from the doctors before, but every time it’s like a shot of adrenaline right to Phil’s system. His dad is okay, his mum is happy, and his rampant anxiety can take a short break.

Dan isn’t playing anymore when Phil comes back, probably because the round ended, but he’s rambling about his own Apex opinions to the chat. He’s passionate like he is about basically everything, his hands and mouth moving faster than his brain, and Phil feels more warmth settle into his skin.

“Gunning for my job?” Phil jokes, plopping back down on the sofa. His thigh is pressed to Dan’s, but neither of them shift away.

“Maybe,” Dan teases. He hands the controller back all the same.

There’s a question in Dan’s big brown eyes: Everything okay? He doesn’t need to know details to pick up on how important that call was, and Phil thinks that this would have been the point of no return if he hadn’t hit that a couple weeks ago. He beams at Dan and nods, and the crinkly-eyed grin he gets in response makes Phil feel like he’s floating on air.

Later, when the night is winding down, Phil’s body is thrumming. Normally he’d be curled up with a book on one side of the sofa while Dan and his laptop took up the other, and that would be enough interaction before they headed to bed, but Phil still feels wired.

“You wanna go out?” he asks for the first time since Dan moved in. He’s always been more of a homebody than most of his friends, but having a friend like Dan - because that’s what they are now, isn’t it? - who also enjoys sitting in relative quiet doing their respective activities has made him even more of a shut-in than usual. Dan is clearly surprised by the question, and Phil doesn’t blame him. “I just - y’know, I got good news earlier, and I’m happy, and I want to get a drink or something.”

“And you want it with me?” Dan asks, his dimple deepening in the tell-tale beginnings of a grin.

“Yeah,” says Phil. Maybe he ought to have some kind of explanation that doesn’t make him sound like an idiot with a crush, but he can’t be bothered to think of one right now. Besides, Dan is smiling with the silver ball between his teeth, so he probably doesn’t mind how Phil sounds.

“Alright,” Dan agrees easily enough, shutting his laptop. “I’ll get dressed.”

Neither of them dress up; Phil leaves his top buttons open and Dan’s jeans are distractingly tight, but that’s as much of a concession as they’ll make. Phil likes bars more than he likes pubs or clubs, and he thinks splashing ten quid on a neon pink cocktail is absolutely worth it tonight. Dan doesn’t offer his opinion one way or the other until they’re sat at a booth, and then he says, “Thank fuck you’re not a clubber.”

“You don’t like clubbing?” Phil asks, distracted by Dan’s mission of blindly finding his straw with his tongue. The longer he knows Dan, the more he’s tempted to look up whether or not oral fixation is a real thing. “I mean, I don’t really love it, but it’s fun sometimes.”

“I’d have to already be wasted to dance in public,” says Dan.

“Oh, I can’t dance,” Phil says, matter-of-factly, and Dan snorts into his drink. “But I do it anyway.”

The bar isn’t overly busy or loud, but Phil still has to strain his ears to hear when Dan mutters, “Maybe it’d be more fun with you.”

It’s a little too easy for Phil’s overactive imagination to picture. Dan, pressed close to him and laughing with his head thrown back every time Phil says or does something stupid. He hopes that the flush he feels high on his cheeks isn’t obvious in the low light, but he’s not optimistic. Dan’s smile is more of a smirk.

Maybe getting drunk with the object of his stupid affections is… not smart. But Phil’s drink is good, and Dan is striking up an easy conversation about the music that’s playing, so Phil pushes logic aside for the moment to just enjoy himself.

Phil wakes up with a dry mouth and a slight headache, which is honestly better than he expected after three cocktails and a greasy kebab on the way home. Either Dan drank less than he did or he’s better at holding his alcohol, because Phil remembers getting guided away from lamp posts by his big, steady hands a couple of times.

He remembers making a bit of a fool of himself in general, but if anything Dan got more and more smiley the more that Phil rambled about Star Wars. Phil had reached across the table and poked at one of Dan’s dimples, and Dan had laughed loudly before taking Phil’s hand and holding it to the tabletop for a couple of seconds. Phil hadn’t wanted him to let go, and he wonders now if the hesitation stemmed from Dan’s own reluctance to stop touching him or if that’s just wishful thinking.

Phil gets himself together enough to take some ibuprofen and a long shower. By the time he gets out, wrapped in various towels, Dan is awake and making breakfast. It smells like bacon, but Phil is wary. It might be that fake stuff Dan insists on buying.

“That smells good,” Phil says, suspicious. He drifts over to the breakfast bar to try and get a peek at the pan.

“It’s real bacon,” says Dan. He turns specifically to roll his eyes where Phil can see it.

“Oh, cool. I thought you weren’t eating meat.”

“I’m not,” Dan says. “This is for you. I’m not hungry.”

“God, you’re incredible,” says Phil. He thinks that maybe he should tone it down a bit, because Bryony will kill him if he messes up this very good thing they’ve got going, but he’s not humble enough to not notice the way Dan dimples and turns pink at the earnest compliment. “Seriously,” he adds, talking to Dan’s back as he plates up some toast and bacon. “I am so lucky you needed a place to stay.”

“Luck’s not real, first of all,” Dan says as he hands over Phil’s breakfast. “Secondly, you’re only saying that because I cooked for you.”

Phil isn’t just saying that for the food, but it certainly takes over his attention. He pulls the towel around his shoulders tighter and leans against the breakfast bar to eat. Dan steals the crusts off his toast, rambling the whole time about the work emails he’d woken up to. Every time Dan talks about the ins and outs of journalism and website upkeep, Phil feels grateful all over again for getting a job so far out of his official field that the sectors barely touch. He doesn’t think he could handle working with so many people who can’t figure out how to change the alignment of text in simple HTML or which words they should capitalize in a headline.

“Thank you,” Phil says when he’s done, coming into the kitchen proper to rinse his plate. It’s the least he can do, considering his inability to actually wash the dishes before Dan gets fed up with the mess.

“At the risk of sounding gross and sappy,” Dan hums, “it’s really me who should be thanking you.”

“Maybe we should just both thank Bryony,” Phil suggests, turning to look at Dan again. Dan’s eyes snap up from - somewhere? Phil’s bare legs, maybe? - to stare determinedly at Phil’s face as if he can pretend that they never wandered. “You being too big and loud for her couch is the whole reason you’re here.”

Dan honks a laugh and reaches out like he’s going to shove at Phil. He doesn’t make contact, possibly remembering that Phil is somewhat naked, and just lets his hand fall back to his side awkwardly.

“As if your futon is any fucking better, mate,” he says, seemingly insistent on not drawing attention to the weird things he’s doing. Phil isn’t exactly stupid, is the thing. He thinks about Dan hesitating before letting go of his hand last night, the way he always grins when he catches Phil staring at his piercing, how it feels less like an unrequited crush between them and more like they’re just hovering at the edge of something, and Phil decides to throw caution to the goddamn wind.

“Y’know,” he says, messing with his damp hair for something to do with his hands. “I don’t think you’d be too big and loud for my bed, if you wanted to try that out.”

Dan laughs like he’s not quite sure if it’s a joke or not, and Phil shrugs to hide exactly how much his heart is pounding.

“Where were you planning to sleep, then?” Dan asks. His dark eyes are careful, searching, and Phil’s anxiety doesn’t like that at all. He doesn’t need Dan seeing things that he’s not purposefully putting on display.

“With you,” says Phil. “If you’d want me.”

There’s a long moment of quiet where Phil starts to worry that maybe he’s made a huge mistake. Then, Dan grins slowly and comes closer, pinning Phil to the counter without actually touching him, and Phil grins back at him in sheer relief. “I dunno why, but I never figured you as the type to be so blunt about this sort of thing.”

“What, you thought I was capable of subtlety?” Phil teases, putting a hand to his own chest as if he’s touched by the sentiment. “That’s so nice of you.”

Dan laughs, louder and more genuine, and then his big hands are cupping Phil’s jaw as he leans in to press their smiling mouths together. It’s been a hot minute since Phil kissed anyone while he was sober, so for a moment he doesn’t remember what he’s supposed to do with his hands. When he feels cool metal drag against the underside of his tongue, though, his brain shuts down enough that his hands find Dan’s hips without endlessly second-guessing himself.

It takes a while for them to reluctantly separate, because Phil is busy figuring out how to snog Dan without metal clacking against his teeth too much and Dan is busy figuring out all of the weak points in Phil’s neck with his thumbs.

“You taste like bacon,” Dan says in a strangely scolding tone of voice for someone who had cooked it for Phil.

“Sorry,” Phil says nonsensically, sliding his hands up Dan’s shirt to trace shapes over his lower back. The movements pause when Dan shivers. “Bad? Or good?”

“Your hands are just cold, you spork,” says Dan. He kisses Phil again, quick but firm, and then takes a step back. Phil doesn’t even realise he’s frowning until Dan giggles at him. “C’mon. Bed sounds fucking great right about now.”

Phil doesn’t remember the last time he kissed someone for so long that his lips started to tingle, but he’s certainly not complaining. He stopped feeling self conscious about being naked almost immediately after Dan told him it was frankly illegal to put damp towels on a bed, because the hungry way Dan looked at him and grabbed at him after he hung them up quieted the anxiety right away. Dan’s shirt has been discarded somewhere in Phil’s absolute tip of a room, but the soft material of his joggers keeps making Phil bite back noises when it comes in contact with his cock.

“You’re so hot,” Dan tells him in one of the times their mouths aren’t locked, one large hand wrapped around Phil’s thigh and the other supporting his weight on top of Phil.

“No, you,” Phil insists, not caring how dumb he sounds. He’s been mapping Dan’s back with his hands, but he slides them down the back of Dan’s sweats to win the argument before it starts. Sure enough, Dan’s words get cut off by a loud whine of a noise that gets pressed into Phil’s collarbone. Phil feels up Dan’s ass a little before using his grip to roll their hips together. “Fuck. What d’you want?”

“That depends,” Dan hums against Phil’s skin, nipping at his chest.

“On what?”

“On if this is a one time thing.”

There’s a jolt of guilt in Phil’s stomach, and he winds fingers into Dan’s curls to force Dan to look at him. “Hey, no, it’s not like that. I like you, you idiot.”

Dan smiles, and there’s no small amount of relief in it. Phil feels like he should have been more clear, but at least he’s got Dan in his bed and smiling about it now. “Oh good. I like you, too, and it would have been really awkward if you just wanted a fuck.”

“I do also want a fuck,” Phil says, teasing. “If I’m being honest.”

“I couldn’t tell,” Dan says sarcastically, rocking his hips down again and grinning when a noise is surprised out of Phil. “Well, okay, since I don’t need to bucket list this, I wanna go down on you.”

“I’d love to hear that bucket list sometime,” says Phil. He lets go of Dan’s ass and uses his hold on Dan’s hair to push him down, a little more impatiently than he intended. He’s got an apology on the tip of his tongue, but Dan just grunts an approving sort of noise and presses his mouth to Phil’s inner thigh. “But - ah - not right now.”

Dan’s got a mouth made for sucking cock, so it doesn’t take Phil by surprise when he sinks down easily, squeezing Phil’s thigh and running his tongue over the head of Phil’s dick whenever he comes back up, but it sure does make his legs start to shake.

“Fuck,” Phil breathes, doing his best to keep his hips still. That’s a lot more difficult when Dan looks up at him with those big dark eyes and takes him as deep as he can. “You look so good like that, you know that? Bet you do.” Dan hums around his cock and the vibrations from his throat make Phil shiver. “Yeah, fuck, of course you do. Such a pretty mouth, huh?”

With a quiet, wet noise, Dan pulls up to catch his breath. He grins. “I also didn’t figure you for a talker.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this,” says Phil. He runs his fingers through Dan’s curls, tugging a little bit to watch Dan’s eyelashes flutter. “How’s it feel to be wrong about me?”

“In this case? Very good.” Dan presses his mouth to Phil’s stomach and bites down, just a little. It doesn’t hurt at all, but it still makes Phil’s hips jerk up. “I dunno, Phil, you’re usually a pretty fucking awkward person, which is, like, a big mood, and you don’t seem like much of a flirt.”

“I’ve been flirting with you for, like, a month and a half,” Phil laughs.

Dan grins wider. “Oh, oops.”

“I don’t have to talk if you don’t like it,�� says Phil, even though he can fully tell that Dan does like it. Maybe he just wants to hear that Dan likes it.

The way Dan rolls his eyes makes it obvious that Dan can tell that he’s fishing, but he dimples anyway. “You don’t have to stop talking,” he says dryly, wrapping a big hand around Phil’s cock. “You know I like it.”

Dan takes Phil back in his mouth and closes his eyes like he loves it, which is a visual that Phil will absolutely be coming back to when he’s alone in the shower. Phil tells him as much, gives him a running commentary on every passing thought he has, because it’s hard to control his mouth as it is and the more he talks, the more worked up Dan gets. He sees Dan grinding into the mattress and pulls at him, not bothering to be gentle with it.

“Get rid of these,” Phil says, pushing at Dan’s joggers with a foot. He doesn’t actually think he’ll be able to help like that, but it gets his point across. “And then c’mere, I want to get you off.”

Dan laughs. “Alright, bossy.”

He sits up to get his sweats off and Phil sits up to watch. They grin at each other a bit as soon as Dan is naked, and Phil makes grabby hands.

“Bossy,” Dan repeats before knee-walking into Phil’s lap and kissing him hard. Dan wraps a hand around both of their cocks, but he doesn’t try to stroke. Without fully pulling away from the kiss, Dan murmurs, “Lube, now, I want to come.”

“Now who’s bossy?” Phil huffs a laugh, blindly reaching for his nightstand. He knocks over a couple of things in his search, but eventually he finds the bottle he’s looking for. He pours some over their cocks and gasps when Dan’s hand slides up and back down so easily. Phil would be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about this, hadn’t wondered if Dan’s wide reach could envelop both of them, but he doesn’t bother telling Dan any of that. Instead, he drops the lube back onto his nightstand and settles a hand on Dan’s ass as he kisses Dan deeper.

Phil’s mouth finds Dan’s neck, and he can’t help laughing at the loud keen of a noise that seems surprised out of Dan’s mouth.

Even though Dan didn’t have his dick sucked, he’s as desperate and horny as Phil feels, and having a tongue and teeth on his pulse point seems to escalate it even more. His breathing is ragged, his hips are jerking up into his own hand, and he comes so hard between them that Phil feels some of it hit his face.

“Fuck,” Dan whines, letting go of himself to stroke Phil’s cock in tight, quick movements. Phil’s breath hitches, and he digs his fingers into the soft skin of Dan’s ass for something to hold onto. Dan kisses Phil’s forehead, then his nose, and then kisses his cheek. His tongue comes out to press against Phil’s skin, the cool metal ball still a small shock somehow, and it takes Phil’s brain an addled moment before he realises that Dan is licking his own come off Phil’s cheek. That’s so unbelievably hot to Phil that he couldn’t stop himself from coming if he even wanted to. He groans and fucks into Dan’s fist, tugging him into an open-mouthed kiss. He can’t taste Dan’s come on his tongue or anything, but the idea of it is enough to make him shudder through an intense orgasm.

Their kisses turn softer than Phil thought possible as they come down from it, and he nuzzles at Dan’s jaw. “I just had a shower,” he says, gently scolding. “Now I’m all gross again.”

“Oh, boo-hoo,” says Dan, grinning. “I’ll clean you up, you big baby.”

Phil is fairly sure that their shower isn’t big enough for that, but he’s always up for trying.

After a heated debate on the benefits of flowers versus gift baskets, they end up taking Bryony out for pizza and beer. As thanks.

#phan #dnp fic #phanfic #phanfiction #words words words

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shookethbrooketh · 5 years ago

Text

seven days

day two: part two

summary: dan is stuck in the wrong timeline. one day, he kisses phil goodnight. the next morning, he’s completely alone. he doesn’t even recognize where he wakes up, and little details in the world around him have changed. he has no clue what’s happening or where to go next in an effort to fix it; all he knows is that he has to find phil.

genre: sci-fi, a lil bit of angst, happy ending

warnings: none (for now)

fic word count: 5.5k chapter word count: 1.2k

written for the @phandomreversebang ! inspired by the awesome moodboard/edits by @maybeformepersonally ! beta’d (beginning to end) by @i-might-just-leave-soon !

read it on ao3

“have a great day!” dan shouted as he watched the love of his life walk out of it clueless. he sighed, and muttered under his breath, “i love you.”

Dan put his head in his hands. He’d been refreshing Phil’s Twitter for nearly half an hour, and he’d yet to post anything about meeting Dan. Was he not as big of a fan as he let on at the meetup? Would he even respond if Dan messaged him? How would Dan even start that conversation?

The only way he figured was to use the art as a conversation-starter. He did find that post, and he liked and retweeted it, but he couldn’t seem to message Phil. Something he couldn’t quite identify was holding him back; it was like there was an invisible forcefield blocking his thumbs from typing Phil’s handle into his DMs.

“Dan!” James called from the other room. “Are you ready to go? It’s time to leave for your panel!”

No one had even bloody told him he had a panel that day. He decided to count himself lucky that he’d been too down to change out of his meetup clothes and stood up to head to the door. Before he moved, though, he stopped, looking back down at the phone. By then, it was already about 2:00; he didn’t have all that much time left.

hi there! i really like the art you gave me at the meetup; would you mind if i used it in a video? thanks so much x

He typed it and sent it without even thinking, and he was gone.

Checking the phone nonstop up until the panel did no good for Dan; Phil had yet to respond. He was probably sitting in the audience chattering with someone, Dan thought. Finally, when he was ushered out onto the stage, he was met with deafening shrieks. At least something was normal.

Dan spent the next few minutes scanning the crowd for any sign of Phil but to no avail. Furthermore, not only did his plan fail, but it also managed to distract him from a panel he already knew absolutely nothing about. He didn’t even figure out the topic of the panel until five minutes in, and that only made it worse: he was sitting in a row of makeup YouTubers.

Dan didn’t know a single thing about makeup, so every answer he gave, he lied straight through his teeth. It didn’t take long for him to notice creators up and down the panel giving him odd looks, and he started sweating through his jumper. He could tell he was crashing and burning, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He was like an astrophysicist giving a lecture on Shakespeare.

Every time the moderator asked him a question, Dan answered as confidently as he could, but he knew that everything coming out of his mouth was dead wrong. Only fifteen minutes into the panel, shouts were radiating from the audience.

“Dan’s a fraud!” one critic shouted.

“That’s not Daniel! He’s an imposter!” someone yelled over the murmurs of the croud.

Suddenly a chant broke out: “IMPOSTER! IMPOSTER! IMPOSTER!”

Dan sunk down into his seat as if that would hide him from the audience. Up and down the panel, the looks from his fellow creators had changed from confused to angry. He bowed his head, stood, admitting defeat, and took a walk of shame off the stage.

“Dan!” someone shouted, and his heart jumped out of his chest. There was currently a crowd of people angry at him; his name coming from the other end of a hallway immediately spiked fear in his core. He gave a deep exhale as he turned to find James running towards him, but his eyes quickly widened as he realized the situation he was in: he had just bombed, and “his” manager was making a beeline straight for him. “What the hell just happened?” he said, anger and concern about even in his tone.

“I’m sorry, I just….” he trailed off, panic setting in. “I’m not well right now. I think I need to go back to my room for the rest of the day and just lie down.” James raised an eyebrow.

“Damnit, Howell, if I didn’t know your face well enough I’d say you were an imposter.” He sighed and turned on his heel, finally leaving Dan completely alone.

It was a miracle, really, that Dan made it back to the hotel. Between his general lack of direction and the fact that angry makeup experts were probably out to get him, he was quite paranoid through the entire walk, but he somehow managed to make it.

After he was safely locked up in his hotel room, he pulled out the phone, and it was already flooded with texts, half of them asking if he was okay and the other half making very rude yet technically true allegations.

All the notifications stressed him too much for him to be bothered to look through them, so he simply opened his phone and went straight to Twitter. Or at least he attempted to. Before he could even reach the top row folder the Twitter app was hiding in, he found himself tapping the notification to another concerned text.

At this point, a mix of stress and anger began to pool in his stomach, and he finally snapped, frantically searching for the settings app (and hitting a couple more notifications along the way). He began shutting off notifications for each app, one by one, and when he reached the bottom, he discovered that Twitter notifications had already been off. At least the YouTuber he personified had a little bit of sense.

However, he suddenly realized that this meant Phil could have messaged him back hours ago, and he wouldn’t have known. He rushed back to the Twitter app, this time uninterrupted, and found a DM sent only a few minutes early.

Depends. Are you who you say you are?

He’d been at the panel. Dan sighed and began to think. Could he continue to lie to Phil? What would happen if he told the truth? Would Phil stop talking to him? He anxiously typed out a message, refusing to even look at the screen as he went.

sorta. i know this is weird, but i am daniel howell. just not the one you know. i look identical, and by all legalities we’re the same person, but i’m not… from here. again, i know it’s really weird, but i need you to trust me. i need to talk to you.

He threw his phone down on the bed as if it were suddenly burning. He knew the only way he’d be able to tell if he got a response was if he checked, but he was terrified to do so. It was like 2009 all over again.

Finally, a few minutes later, he opened Twitter to find what he considered the worst case scenario; Phil had read his messages, but there was no answer. He went to Phil’s account, and, even worse, the most recent tweet was a screenshot of their conversation captioned “Creepy texts from @/danielhowell ???”

He was screwed. Dan rolled over in his hotel bed and pulled up Netflix on his television, feeling his depression setting in with every passing second. “Maybe in the next universe.”

#seven days #phic stuff #dong and ping #phanfic #phanfiction #phan

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itsmyusualphannie · 6 years ago

Text

i must admit, i can’t explain

dan's past self returns. dan and phil do a pretty terrible job figuring out what's going on.

“Are you real?” asked Dan. “Of course I am. You’re the ones that aren’t real.” “I’m real!” said Phil, offended.

1974 words - (read on ao3)

beta’ed by @emikochauhan!

this is a sequel to ‘baby i’m howell-in’ for you’ (read on ao3)

“How’s that going?” Phil asked Dan.

Dan scrubbed angrily at the pot in his hand. He paused and regarded it with a mixture of irritation and dismay. “It’s not,” he said and resumed scrubbing it. Their dinner had been delicious, certainly, but Dan regretted not washing the dishes immediately after cooking. He should’ve at least put water in the pot so the remains of the food didn’t stick to it.

Phil laughed sympathetically and patted Dan’s shoulder, notably not offering to help with it. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”

“Good.” Dan scowled over his shoulder, attempting and failing to maintain his annoyed expression while Phil's stupid grin was aimed at him. “Leave me with this disgusting pan, you horrible excuse for a boyfriend.”

Phil pinched his ass and left the kitchen while Dan cursed at him. He returned to violently scraping at the pan, pouring a generous amount of soap over it and rubbing with more intensity. Aha! Something had flaked off. No, wait, that was part of the scrubber. “Goddamnit,” said Dan aloud. He dropped the pan into the sink and glared at it.

“Umm...Dan?” came Phil’s tremulous voice from the bedroom. “I mean. Dan!”

Dan shoved the pan under the tap and filled it with water, using Phil’s call as an excuse to give up on trying to clean it. He headed for the bedroom, wiping his damp and water-wrinkled hands on his shirt. “What?” he asked, pushing the door to the room all the way open.

“Uh,” said Phil, and pointed at the bed.

Beneath the covers, wrapped comfortably in Dan’s duvet, was another Dan. His straight, dark hair was the only thing that was actually visible peeking over the top of the blankets, but it was unmistakably him.

Dan looked down at himself, looked at the Howell from his dreams a few weeks ago, and back at himself. He pinched his arm. “Ow, fuck.”

“What’s happening,” said Phil. “Who is that. Is that you.” His questions sounded like statements. He sounded vaguely in shock and, if possible, looked even paler than usual.

Dan still didn’t believe this was real, so he reached out and pinched Phil too.

“Ouch!” said Phil. He rubbed his arm, pouting, but he didn’t look away from the apparently-sleeping form on the bed. “What was that for?”

“Hmm,” said Dan in reply. He stalked closer to the bed and slapped a hand on the duvet. “Howell!”

With a start, the blankets came alive. Legs kicked and flailed, arms windmilling, and finally, a face appeared, brown eyes wide with surprise and panic. “Hello? What? Who’s there?”

“Fuck,” said Dan appreciatively at his younger self’s idiocy. “Phil, am I dreaming?”

“Am I dreaming?” Phil retorted, despite Dan's pinches to prove that they weren’t. “This doesn’t happen in real life.”

Though they hadn’t been helpful to calm the younger Dan’s surprise in the slightest, he had relaxed a little, but still scuttled back against the headboard with his knees drawn up to his chest. He eyed Dan with suspicious eyes. “Didn’t I dream you?”

“No, I dreamed you,” Dan corrected. “Or, I think I did. I thought I did. Are you real?”

“Of course I am. You’re the ones that aren’t real.”

“I’m real!” said Phil, offended.

Dan reached out and poked Howell in the cheek. He hadn't dried his hands completely and his touch left a cloudy drop of water trembling on Howell’s face just above where a dimple would appear. “He feels real,” he informed Phil.

Howell rubbed his cheek, wiping away the water drop and scowling at both of them. He squinted, either suspicious or confused.

“How did you get here?” Phil asked.

“Why are you in my bed?” added Dan.

“I dunno,” said Howell. “And it’s my bed.”

“It’s mine,” Dan insisted. “You’re in our time period. It’s mine.”

“Just to clarify,” said Phil, remaining looking vaguely shell-shocked. “You’re Dan, right? From, like, years ago? And you've both...dreamed about each other before?”

“Er,” they both said at the same time and exchanged suspicious stares immediately afterward.

“I thought I’d dreamt him a few weeks ago, that night when you went to get groceries and I napped on the sofa,” Dan said.

“I thought I dreamt him when I fell asleep on Phil’s bed instead of doing the laundry,” said Howell. Dan was wary of the slow smirk that was forming on Howell’s face. He knew with annoying clarity the plans that he himself made whenever he grinned like that.

“Also,” Howell added, confirming Dan's suspicions, “in my dream, we made out.”

Phil’s gaze flicked from Dan to Howell. “Did you make out with him in your dream?” he addressed to Dan.

“No!” said Dan heatedly, an automatic reaction to the accusative look in Phil’s eyes, then reluctantly, “...maybe. Kind of. Look, I’ve told you before what I’d do if I met a clone of myself. The entire internet knows. Fuck, then kill.”

“Hey!” protested Howell, presumably to the ‘kill’ part of that phrase.

Phil pointed a finger accusingly. “Dan, he’s not a clone. He’s you, I think, from the past or whatever. That’s like...incest.”

“Masturbation,” chorused Dan and Howell.

Phil’s face did a strange thing that Dan had seen it do very rarely. Dan did not like it. “Did you…?”

“No!” said Dan again. Then he felt his own face do a strange thing, which he liked even less. “Um. Sort of. But, like, closer to the ‘no’ than the ‘sort of.’”

“What the fuck,” said Phil.

“I was dreaming!” Dan added hastily. “I’m not responsible for my own actions in dreams.”

“Evidently,” said Phil, “you weren’t dreaming.”

Dan and Howell exchanged considering glances. In Dan's desire to appease Phil, they had apparently found something in common, besides literally being each other.

“Hmm,” said Howell. Dan was irritated with himself for noticing how indecently low Howell's shirt dipped, revealing pale, jutting collarbones and the faintest red mark where the Phil from his time had doubtlessly left a fading bite. “I’m fairly sure we were dreaming,” Howell mused. “Like, I woke up in my own time when Phil came in and then Dan was gone.”

“I woke up when Phil came in, too, and you’d disappeared,” Dan offered, “but I didn’t know I was asleep until then.”

Howell frowned at him. “Hey, you never apologized for slapping me.”

Dan frowned right back. Their comradery was lost. “Well, what did you expect me to do? What would you do if you saw your past self walk around the sofa and stare at you?”

“Shit, I dunno,” Howell retorted, “seeing as I actually did walk around a sofa and saw my future self staring up at me, and I didn’t reach down to immediately slap him, I’d say I did pretty well.”

Dan crossed his arms across his chest and scoffed. “Well, I’m not apologizing to myself for slapping myself in a dream.”

“My brain hurts,” Phil announced to the room. Their heads turned toward him instantly.

“Do you need to lie down?” Howell asked at the same time Dan said, “You need to lie down.”

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting his eyelids tightly together. He walked over the bed and threw himself down face-first, narrowly avoiding Howell’s drawn-up legs. He pressed his face into the duvet and lay there silently.

Howell reached out to pat him sympathetically. Dan glared at the familiar movement, hostile suddenly for no reason that he could identify.

“Want to have sex?” Howell offered.

“No!” snapped Dan.

“No!” Phil said at the same time, his voice muffled.

Howell sulked visibly, his shoulders slumping and mouth turning down at the corners. “Aww, why not? You always say sex helps with headaches unless it’s a migraine.”

“He’s not yours,” Dan bit out. “He’s mine. You can have sex with your own Phil.”

Phil lifted his face from the duvet, frowning. “Dan, the possessive thing again,” he said, reprimanding. “But also, yeah. First of all, I’m more than ten years older than you. That’s creepy. Second of all, you’re jealous as hell.”

“I’m not jealous,” Dan blatantly lied.

“I don’t mind,” Howell assured him. “I’ve had sex with people ten years older than me, and I like you a lot better than them. And you’re literally Phil, so it’s not like I’m cheating.”

Phil turned a disbelieving stare on Dan, who found that entirely unfair, as he hadn’t been the one who’d said it. “Wait, you what? When? With whom?”

“What?” said Dan, almost a screech. “I did not! What the fuck, Howell?”

“Oh, yeah,” Howell said, disappointed. “I forgot you remember what I’ve done.”

“Because I’m you! We have the same fucking memories!”

“Oh, yeah,” said Howell again. Then he laughed. “Ha. Fucking memories. Literally.”

Dan glared at him.

“I want to erase this entire conversation,” Phil groaned, smashing his face back into the blankets. “I just wanted to get ready for bed and go to sleep.”

“I mean,” Howell said generously, eyeing Phil’s backside, “you still can. I don’t mind. You can change into your pyjamas anytime now, I won’t stop you.”

Dan resisted the urge to slap his own past self in his stupid tanned face. He caught Howell’s unashamed ogling of Phil’s ass and barked, “Stop staring at Phil! He’s not your version, he’s mine, and you won’t get him for another, like, nine or ten years.”

“Selfish,” scoffed Howell. He turned his gaze to Dan and looked him up and down, smirking. “Okay. I’ll stare at myself instead.”

Dan did not remember himself being this forward and...horny. He could never imagine propositioning his future self or a future Phil, no matter how old he was. It was horrifying.

He didn’t tell Howell to stop, though.

“I want to wake up,” Phil complained.

“We’ve already established that we’re not dreaming right now, though Howell and I might have been earlier,” Dan said. “That’s what the whole pinching and poking things were about.”

“You can feel things in a dream,” said Phil. “I think. Anyway, how do we know you’re real?”

Howell looked annoyed, which Dan found as a relief from his previous flirty expression. “Gee, I dunno. How do I know you’re real? I can’t exactly prove my own existence.”

“I could break his hand,” Dan suggested maliciously. “Then it might affect me now. Like my hand would have a weird bend or something.”

Wide-eyed, Howell tucked his hands under his own ass.

“No,” said Phil firmly, even though he probably knew Dan hadn’t meant it. Dan grinned meanly at Howell, who scowled back at him. At least he’d stopped flirting. “Why are you calling him Howell?” Phil asked, randomly.

“That’s what I said!” Howell said.

“Because I’m older!” Dan said over him. Howell sulked again and Dan added, “Why, are you just calling us both Dan in your head or something?”

Phil didn’t look at either of them, but the posture of his entire body looked sheepish. “I mean, maybe. You are both Dan.”

Dan was offended for reasons he couldn’t identify. “Yeah, but I’m your Dan.”

“Technically,” Howell chimed in, unhelpfully, “we’re both his Dan. Just because we’re from a different time period doesn’t make that any different.”

Dan had experienced these urges to strangle himself before, but it had never been his own physical body separate from his current one. He settled for glowering at Howell and hoping his point was made clear.

Howell shoved his hands further under his ass. “Wanna make out?” he asked weakly.

“No.” Dan pointed an angry finger at him. “I will not make out with you again. No more tricking me into it. Never again.”

“What’s happening,” Phil said, ten minutes later. He looked so confused, and Dan felt a little sorry for him.

Not enough to detach his mouth from Howell’s neck, though.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phanfic au #time travel #meeting past self #2009 dan howell #swearing tw #howlin for you series

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kae-karo · 6 years ago

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Hi I used to be into the phandom so much but fell out in like??? 2017??? Maybe??? Has anything big happened at all? Has anyone died/caught on fire ( ;) )??

oh dear god where do i begin??? well fortunately both our lads are still alive. let me just start with saying 2018 has been like. probably the best year for dnp to date? i’ll try to go in some kind of order here but bear with me i’ll touch on a bit of 2017 stuff and then go into 2018 for ya

so first of all i’m not sure when you left the phandom in 2017 but the lads moved out of their previous flat in april of last year (x) (april-ish it was def before they posted the vid)

also our dear lil dani snot on fire is no longer not on fire (x) so uhh is he on fire now ig? i mean yeah that’s arguably true

*insert phil’s badaladala sound bc on the scale of Significant Things i don’t think anything else massive happened*

day one of demon month, we got this amazing vid from phil wherein viewers (aka dan) picked his outfits n he looked like a snacc and a half (would’ve been 2 snaccs if he’d embraced the quiff sooner but that’s getting ahead of things) (x)

!!!! then a week or so later dan posted his vid ‘daniel and depression’ where he opened up abt his struggle with depression (x) which was imo the start of him just being more open about himself in general. he also started working with young minds (a mental health org for young people in the uk) and shortly thereafter with prince william’s program to help prevent cyberbullying

then! on the day love was invented! dnp released their board game, truth bombs (x - yeah i linked the second vid and not the first, and wot) which u can buy if you’d like but it’s a lot of fun (x)

then these idiots did a conjoined jumper baking challenge and didn’t fucking wear shirts under the jumper like what dumb gays idk (x) but it was real funny and Good Content

then early nov dnp announced the interactive introverts tour (x) and then uhhh it happened (like 80+ shows??? in a ton of countries???) (x) and they’re releasing the filming of it along with some bonus content like a director’s commentary and u can preorder it (x)

also pinof 9 happened which as a legacy phan u know is always a Thing but this year it was especially a Thing so i recommend catching up (x, and the bloops - x)

and phew okay that’s the majority of 2017 Important Events but before i go on to 2018 i’ll just recap a few important events from dapg (basically just some gamingmas stuff):

wherein dan smacked phil in the face

and phil crushed the presents but dan helped him up

where phil pretended not to remember gamingmas was happening, leading to the most iconic simultaneous heart eyes howell/love eyes lester to date

dnp singing baby it’s cold outside together whilst playing yasuhati

iconic pinof 9 moment

dnp play charades but it’s phil’s turn, and he’s touchy

the not my arms challenge!!! playing mario kart

okay! and before anyone starts yelling i know there’s more but god if i put every iconic thing in this post would break there’s Too Much so let’s hop into 2018 bc it’s gonna be a long one

first i cannot believe dan fucking gave phil a philussy cake and phil’s parents asked phil what it meant jfc dan (x)

THE EARRING!!! dan’s first selfie with the lil hoop and it never leaves and we love it (x)

phil is just trying to take a selfie and dan ruins it (x) spoiler alert: phil gets him back in colorado (x)

okay big sigh two large events happen in march: the first, dan’s ‘trying to live my truth’ vid (x) it basically dan saying ‘i’m still figuring things out but i want to be more authentic and true to myself, and also authenticity is important for some people to feel happy in life’ vid that a lot of people hyperfixated on the end line of, where he said he would go ‘laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and...something else in my mouth’ which people assumed meant a dick and therefore it was a subtle coming out vid, dan did a liveshow afterward (x) wherein he said that wasn’t the point of the vid and people got mad at him for ‘backtracking’ (if u want more of my Opinions on this feel free to check em out - x)

the second v v big event happened at the end of march when phil posted this iconic selfie that would be the downfall of the fringe (x) this has been titled the quiffening by some

shortly after that he began styling his hair in a quiff permanently which was probably the best decision he’s made since responding to one of his obsessed fans back in 2009

quick detour dan’s proud of his hubby (x) for winning fortnite and ‘fuxkung’ is now what ‘fucking’ autocorrects to in my phone

we also had dan releasing his merch (x) which is basically all black and themed around the eclipse logo and ‘don’t talk to me’, though he just released the exist line for world mental health day which has his quote ‘have the courage to exist’. he’s also mentioned possibly wanting to do more creative things like wide-necked or asymmetrical shirts dan just do a fashion line pls oh and he mentioned in a recent ls he might do an internet support group mug sometime soon

and then,,,,,pigeonfest. we watched. five hours. of phil livestreaming their patio. and literally nothing happened bc someone was like down on the street feeding pigeons so there weren’t even any pigeons for like 90% of the liveshow. but he literally didn’t talk it was just five hours of their patio and we all watched it. we all just watched it like the whipped phannies we are (x)

and then we got a brief but overwhelming dose of,,,,,,something from the easter baking vid (x) phil was hopped up on sugar and also confidence from his quiff and probably smth else as well

everything just blows up from there we have giving the people what they want (x) where, in preparation for ii (for which the underlying theme was ‘giving people what they want’), dnp reacted to pinof 1, swapped clothes, did the ‘yoga challenge’, recreated ditl manchester, ‘got a dog’, and made phil say fuck. honestly it shook the entire phandom to its core at the time but like. i’m less shooketh now? it’s sort of just fallen by the wayside in terms of how unpredictable dnp have been this year

then phil drops week in the life of dnp shortly thereafter which is just very very domestic even for them and their ditl style vids??? (x) phil filming dan in bed being one of the big demon highlights at the time

it’s right around this time too that insta stories start and my god it just goes jfc like i don’t even have the mental capacity to recall all the Iconic ones but i recommend checking out this playlist (x) which has all the ii tour stories goddamn there were a lot though they really put out that content didn’t they

in early may we get phil talking about why he changed his emo hair (x) and arguably the first official vid of the casual rebrand - phil’s more open and genuinely vulnerable about his fears about making a change to his hair, and i don’t think we’ve ever seen him that open before. the vids don’t stop being open though, with what dnp text each other (x) giving us coop and doop along with other iconic stories, dnp basically sitting on top of each other in that and other gaming vids on the tour bus, phil being very open abt his attraction to men (x) and the iconic final google feud vid with way too much of a specific kind of Energy (x) (ofc again there are More Vids but i don’t have the time/mental capacity to recap them all so i’m pickin the Big Ones)

monochrome mates (x)

phew okay so the tour in general as well - like if u don’t mind spoilers, i did a big ol analysis of what that was all about (x) but one of many many highlights is dan calling he and phil “best friends and soulmates”

finally finally finally after months of waiting we also get some phil merch! (x) plant and animal themed, and he even released a lion plushie which sold out like instantly and he claimed he’d do more of but we have yet to see that. he says he’s got more ideas for other merch as well

now okay fast forward to october after the tour’s over bc i think the insta stories and the analysis cover it but then. then. then we get the pizza mukbang (x) thirty three minutes of dnp being more open and honest and casual than literally they’ve ever been on camera maybe ever, and i’m including liveshows in this statement. no holds barred, authentic vulnerable dnp. a religious experience

end of october spooky week hits us and i think the key vid to call out here is the creepy mind of phil lester bc i think it was another open honest authentic vid (x) where they talked a lot, casual domestic w.e got some insight into phil’s mind it was v good

and then they carve pumpkins jfc which was an experience (x) there were a lot of innuendos but also one of the first years they didn’t do a halloween baking in a while (though they have hinted at possibly doing christmas baking) idk i’m fully overwhelmed at this point lmao like a Lot happened this year

phew okay and Then just yesterday philly dropped his vid on why he went to (the) hospital (x) idk soz that’s a british thing i think like we say ‘the’ anyway. which i’ve been talking abt quite a lot lately but it was another very open and honest vid in which he expressed a lot of vulnerability and fear and perceived flaws and it was just a quality like. open vid.

jfc okay hope that helps obviously there’s a lot i didn’t mention, but this should at least get you caught up on some of the big stuff!! and while i’m at it have a few more Important Gifs from this year

a very important moment of communication whilst on tour, deciding whether or not they’re okay with doing a ‘third wheel’ pose

dan flinging himself off the chair in anger whilst playing getting over it

nose boop from phil’s instagram explore pages vid

subsequent nose boop from the extreme tetris vid

and a cheek boop from the overcooked 2 vid

dan pulling phil’s hand off the mouse in fear during spooky week, swamp simulator (shrek slender)

touchy!dan during pizza mukbang

oh god. okay. again, this is not everything, just a big list of some big events over the past year-ish. i’m sure i’ve missed some important stuff but i think i covered most of it! hope this helps ya get caught up dear!

#dnp #so dan and phil in 2018 eh #what's that about #phan #dip and pip #kt #anon #ask

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danfanciesphil · 6 years ago

Text

Some Kind Of Folliful (New Chapter)

Edgelord!Dan x ObliviousBisexual!Phil AU [CHAPTER THIRTEEN] (based off the 80′s classic Some Kind of Wonderful)

Synopsis: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones. Word Count: WIP (Estimated 12-15 chapters) updates every Tuesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smoking, swearing, heavy drinking, drug mentions, implied prostitution, broken home, class divide/classism, pining, light homophobia, sex

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six] [Chapter Seven] [Chapter Eight] [Chapter Nine] [Chapter Ten] [Chapter Eleven] [Chapter Twelve]

[Ao3!]

This chapter is NSFW. Explicit. Sex happens.

From: Dan To: Louise 13:23pm Can I have the weekend off?

From: Louise To: Dan 13:24pm This better be a damn joke

From: Dan To: Louise 13:25pm I worked the entire school holiday! Double shifts!

From: Louise To: Dan 13:25pm You also skived off two shifts to go get beat up by some rich kid

From: Dan To: Louise 13:27pm Please.

From: Louise To: Dan 13:30pm ughhhhhhHHHH FINE. I will give you today and Saturday off. Only because you never ask so I assume ur either violently ill or have a serious dick appointment.

From: Dan To: Louise 13:32pm :D thanks. srsly.

From: Louise To: Dan 13:33pm I expect details.

From: Dan To: Louise 13:34pm Don’t suppose I could wrangle Sunday too?

From: Louise To: Dan 13:34pm Don’t push it, Howell.

From: Dan To: Louise 13:40pm xxx

Despite his best efforts to remain cool and aloof, there eventually comes a point where Dan truly can’t resist looking over his shoulder any longer. He half-expects Phil to be looking right back at him. Instead, Phil is hunched over the small wooden desk in front of him, scrawling onto a pad of paper. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth, a tiny pink rose petal, resting on the jut of his lower lip. Just then, Phil looks up, as if he can sense Dan’s break in resolve. His eyes are shining with excitement, which makes no sense, as they are stuck in detention with Mr Richardson for at least another twenty minutes.

Furtively, Phil looks to the front of the room, where Mr Richardson is steadfastly refreshing his LinkedIn page, and then back to Dan. He lifts the pad up to show him, beaming. Centre of the page is a pencil drawing of Dan, slumped over his desk, forehead resting on his hands, in the exact position he’d been in until about a minute ago. Dan rolls his eyes, mouthing ‘creeper’.

Phil puts the pad down, then holds up an index finger to Dan, a signal for him to wait a moment. Dan sighs, pretending that keeping his eyes trained on Phil is some great effort. Truthfully, he’s incredibly grateful for Phil’s presence here. Dan has spent a great deal of time in this very chair, at this very desk, wishing for any kind of distraction or entertainment. Usually he wishes for something banal, like Mr Richardson’s pen exploding, or the stoner kid who sometimes sits in the corner desk to catch his dreads on fire with the lighter he’s always flicking under the desk. But having Phil here is a miracle that Dan had never so much as dared to dream about. He’s a gorgeous beacon of pure light, sat just the other side of the room, all too happy to return Dan’s mildly creepy staring. He holds the pad up to Dan again; this time, there’s a message on it.

Still up for coming over for the weekend? After work obvs.

P.S ur cute

Shaking his head, Dan mouths ‘no work today’. The joy of this news lights Phil’s eyes an even more radiant blue. Dan lets the smile teetering on the edge of his mouth fall across his face. A cough startles Dan out of the moment, and he turns to the front of the classroom in time to watch as Mr Richardson strides down the few desks towards Phil. He lifts the pad close to his nose to read it, then sighs heavily.

“Touching,” he says, drily. “But I think Daniel can wait to hear how ‘cute’ he is until after detention, don’t you?”

Mr Richardson lets the pad fall to Phil’s desk with a loud thwack. It makes Phil jump in his seat, adorably.

“How’d you know it was directed at me, Sir?” Dan finds himself asking. It’s too tempting to resist; that little pulsing vein in Mr Richardson’s neck is pounding away as always, just begging to be engorged. “I think he was angling it your way.”

Mr Richardson whirls around to face him. “Would you like for me to double your sentence, Mr Howell?”

“He’s just kidding, Sir,” Phil jumps in quickly, which is probably good as Dan had been about to suggest he and Mr Richardson skip the courting stage and go straight back to his place. “I won’t write any more notes. Sorry.”

With what seems to be a great deal of effort, Mr Richardson lets go of the tension in his shoulders and nods to Phil, then makes his way back to the front of class. Phil sends Dan a look, which obviously reads ‘stop being a prat’, so Dan smirks down at the homophobic graffiti on his desk, and tries to be a good student for the next eighteen minutes.

On his way out of detention, Dan is so steadfastly trying to keep his head down and not meet Mr Richardson’s eye that he barrels straight into Megan, the girl he sees in here most days. Her jet black hair is pulled into two ponytails either side of her head; it’s too short to be tied up properly, so they stick out like bundles of feathers, secured by bright pink and purple bobbles. If Dan cared enough to ask her about her unusual style choices - the shiny lime green Doc Martens, the string of ropey bracelets and sweatbands up her wrists, the chunky neon beads she wears around her neck when she can get away with it - he imagines she might say she’s ‘Scene’. It doesn’t seem to bother her that the era of the Scene Kid has, thankfully, for most, been abandoned in the late noughties.

“Shit, sorry,” Dan tells her when he crashes straight into her, hot on Phil’s tail.

She glowers at him. Her kohl eyeliner is thick and scary-looking. “Sorry? That’s rich.”

“Uh, what?”

“You and the art ponce?” She jabs a thumb towards the classroom door, where Phil is lurking, watching Megan with a startled expression. “Really?”

Bewildered by her sudden hostility when he’s spoken less than a sentence to Megan in all the time they’ve been stuck in detention together, Dan just stares.

“Is there some kind of a problem?”

“After all this build-up between us, you go and date a random dude?”

“Build up?” Dan’s stare becomes a little panicked. He glances at Phil, who appears to be sniggering into his hand.

“You mean to tell me that you're in detention every time I am by chance?” She sneers derisively. “Pull the other one.”

“Um, Megan, is it?” Dan asks tentatively, taking a hasty but hopefully discreet step backwards.

She claps loudly. “Round of applause for the acting skill. Dan, is it?”

“Right, yeah.” He swallows. “I’m sorry but… I’m gay. Did you think…”

Something falls across her pale face, as if she’s been struck. “Gay,�� she repeats, voice at a far more reasonable volume now. Her thick eyeliner just looks panda-ish, suddenly. She tugs her chewed cardigan sleeves down over her hands. “Not bi?”

“Nope,” Dan says. Crap, this is awkward. He’s never had to come out to a random stranger before. Although perhaps Megan would argue that they’re close friends. “Just boys.” He glances at Phil. “One boy, actually, now.”

“Oh,” Megan says. She looks hurt. “I thought… because you’re always in here when I am...”

“I’m in here pretty much every day,” Dan tells her. He gestures to Mr Richardson, who appears to have fallen asleep on his own shoulder. “Thanks to my number one fan over there.”

She closes her eyes, shaking her head. “It’s just… everyone’s bi now, y’know? I heard rumours about you some of the guys around town but… I thought you were just playing the long game with me.”

Dan is finding it very difficult to put himself in Megan’s shoes here - he can’t even remember a conversation he’s had with the girl, let alone a moment that might lead her to think he had some kind of romantic interest in her - but he nods sympathetically anyway, hoping it might lead to a faster escape.

“Sorry if I gave off signals or something,” he says, awkwardly.

She shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“Um, I’m sure you’ll find someone?”

She nods, sadly. “I guess. I mean, you did, right? Nobody saw that coming.”

“Yeah,” Dan says, inching around her towards the door. Phil is looking at him, eyes tinged with amusement. Dan sends him a withering look, then turns back to Megan. “Guess if I can snag someone, anyone can, right?”

“...you’re like one of those horses with the blinders on,” Phil tells him, hands either side of his eyes in demonstration. “You’re so oblivious to all the people lusting after you every day-”

“Oh, come off it,” Dan interrupts, eyes rolling backwards. “Lusting. Please.”

“Dan, you’re off-the-charts gorgeous,” Phil says. He grabs hold of Dan’s hand and tucks it into his coat. It’s because Dan doesn’t have gloves on - doesn’t own any, even. It’s a sweet gesture, but it makes walking beside Phil a little awkward, especially when other people are walking the other way and have to squeeze past them. “You must see how people look at you.”

Dan shrugs, embarrassed. “Creepy guys at Ozone maybe. Girls, though? Like, actual, reasonably attractive girls. Why the fuck would they want a lanky, perpetually bruised idiot with too many holes in his flesh?”

Phil stops them mid-pavement, pulling Dan towards him, until they’re chest to chest.

“Because, in an emo, heroin chic way, you’re extremely sexy,” he says, then kisses him. Dan tries to be annoyed that Phil basically just called him a 2002 Pete Wentz, but Phil’s tongue is distracting. It flicks against Dan’s lower lip, where the cut is still healing. “Miss the lip ring, though,” Phil murmurs. “That completed the look.”

“I can prob’ly re-pierce it,” Dan replies, muffled because Phil won’t stop kissing for even a second. “If it turns you on that much.”

Phil laughs, breaking away. “You don’t need a lip ring to do that.”

“I don’t like detention,” Phil says, then licks a long line up Dan’s throat.

“No?” Dan gasps out, fingers digging into Phil’s shoulders. He can feel one of the framed, childhood photos of Phil digging into his back, threatening to fall once Phil releases him. “I find Mr Richardson’s lectures on respecting teachers truly scintillating.”

“No, I don’t,” Phil says, pushing their mouths together greedily. “Two hours in a classroom, staring at you, nothing to do but think about all the time wasted that I could have spent doing this.”

“An hour and a half,” Dan corrects, so Phil kisses him harder to quiet him, hands planted on Dan’s hips.

In his time, Dan’s had plenty of selfish, greedy assholes backing him into corners, but nobody he’s ever actually wanted this badly. They’d barely gotten in Phil’s front door before Dan found himself pressed up against the wall of the entrance hallway; they’ve not even taken off their shoes. Vaguely, Dan registers a noise in the distance, and reasons it must be a dog in another room. Phil doesn’t seem to notice the noise, too focused on how far he can slide his hand up Dan’s shirt without removing it entirely. The noise gets closer, and Dan realises blearily, belatedly, that Phil doesn’t own a dog.

Just as this realisation crests, Mrs Lester rounds the corner. “Phil, love is that- oh!”

Phil jumps back at the sound of his mum’s voice, but it’s too late. She’s already seen the worst of it. Dan waits for the ground beneath him to split into a gaping hole into which he can tumble, but presumably because God hates him, it doesn’t happen.

“Mum!” Phil exclaims, breathless.

Dan runs a hand through his hair. “H-hi, Mrs Lester. Kath. Mrs Lester.”

She’s wide-eyed, cheeks rosy pink. In her hands she holds a pair of socks, which she seems to have forgotten are there. “Phil, could I have a quick word?”

Phil tosses Dan a look of apology, then follows him mum through the lounge and into the kitchen. Dan waits for a minute or so, straightening his shirt, trying not to think the worst, and then can’t battle his paranoia any longer. He creeps into the lounge, listening hard to the hushed conversation from the next room. If he stands in the space beside the bookshelf, he can just about make it out, whilst avoiding being seen.

“...thought you’d be gone already.”

“Yes, I can see that, love.”

There’s a pause; Dan can hear his own heart thumping.

“So, you and Dan are…”

“Yeah.”

“I see. How long have you been…?”

“Um, about two weeks? Just over.”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Mum,” Phil says, clearly embarrassed.

“You could have told me, you know.”

“I was going to,” Phil insists. “I just… I wanted to make sure it wasn’t all going to explode. I don’t wanna pressure him. He’s even told me he doesn’t like people at school talking about us. He doesn’t even care about them. But he likes you, I know he does. I haven’t had a chance to ask him what he’d think about you knowing. If it might be a bit much for him. I’m just- I’m so scared I’m gonna say something wrong and he’s gonna bolt. You know what he’s like.”

Dan frowns. Phil is really worried that he’s going to bolt?

“Okay, I understand your concerns,” Kath says, kindly. “But I still think if he’s going to be staying here, I ought to be aware-”

“Yeah, I know, you’re right. I’m sorry,” Phil says. “But nothing’s changed really. He’s just been coming over for Buffy marathons and hot chocolate after he’s finished work, like always.”

“Hmm, well that certainly was not a Buffy marathon I just walked in on.”

Phil laughs, and Dan thinks he hears Kath tittering too. “Sorry you had to see that. So embarrassing.”

Kath sighs, and there’s shuffling noises. Dan thinks maybe she’s giving Phil a hug. “I’m happy for you, sweetheart. Hope you know that.”

“You are?” Phil’s voice is muffled, like he’s speaking into her shoulder.

“Just took me by surprise is all. I mean, I always wondered if maybe you had a little crush on him…”

“I think, in hindsight, it was quite a bit more than a little crush.”

Another long pause. “Well, Dan’s a very lucky boy, then.”

“You’re really okay with it? He can still come over in the week and stuff?”

“Of course,” Kath replies in that kindly, mumsy voice Dan loves her for. His heart aches at the sound of her easy, ready acceptance. She makes motherhood seem so simple. She’s an open book, filled with endless words of love and support, more than happy for anyone who needs it to rip out a page. She saves the best of her chapters for Phil, of course. But there’s some passages bookmarked especially for Dan, too. “Do be careful with him, won’t you, Phil?” Her voice is thick with concern. “That scary mask he wears might fool some people, but you and I know it’s made of thin, breakable glass.”

Dan frowns again, mildly irritated that she sees him as a fragile little flower, but he has to begrudgingly admit that Kath has never once fallen for his tough-guy façade. The first time he ever met her, he was his usual cagey and brooding self, unconcerned with making a good impression on any parent. But much in the same way Phil had, she wore his shell away with persistent sweetness. She invited him to stay for dinner, and gave him second helpings without asking, then chocolate biscuits with tea. She asked him a thousand questions, and didn’t mind if he preferred not to answer them, but listened intently if he did. She told funny stories about Phil as a kid. She told him to come back anytime he wanted, even though he was basically a dick all night. She’d been unrelentingly nice and caring, in a way that Dan had never before felt from an adult.

“Don’t worry,” Phil assures her. “I think I’d give him the whole world if I could.”

“And… what happened to that Amanda girl you brought round? I thought you were besotted with her?”

Dan’s stomach clenches.

“We’re just friends.” The surety in Phil’s voice is like a blanket Dan wants to clutch to his chest.

“Okay then. Well, I guess I’d better get going,” Kath says in a sigh. “I was just finishing packing.”

“Tell Auntie Pat I say hi,” Phil says. “And stroke Mittens for me.”

Alarmed by the movement he suddenly hears, Dan sneaks back through the lounge towards the hall, managing to make it out just before Phil and his mum exit the kitchen.

“Phil, just one last thing,” Kath says from the lounge, her voice so quiet Dan can hardly pick it up. “You two will be safe, won’t you?”

“Oh my God, Mum, please-”

“Phil, I’m asking for your own good-”

Dan has to clap a hand over his mouth to stop the laugh escaping.

“Yes, fine, wow, we’ll be safe I promise.” Phil says in a rushed garble. “Now I never ever want to speak about this again.”

Kath laughs quietly. “Fine. You’re sensible, I know. But I am your mother, I have to make sure.”

When Phil rounds the corner, he looks vaguely traumatised. Kath is right behind him, a calm smile on her face. Dan smiles back, unsurely, trying to seem as though he has no idea what they’ve been discussing. Kath crosses the hall towards him at once, and wraps him in her arms. Dan feels a little choked up, but manages to remain composed enough to return the hug, gently patting her on the shoulder. She releases him without comment, for which Dan is incredibly grateful, and then starts up the stairs.

“There’s plenty of food in the house boys,” she says as she goes. “Help yourselves, both of you. I’ll be back on Sunday.”

Once she’s out of sight, Phil begins spewing apologies. “...had no idea, I thought she’d have left ages ago because we were all that time in detention-”

“Phil, it’s okay,” Dan says, laughing. “Mortifying, obviously. But not the worst position I’ve been caught in by someone’s mum. And your mum is by far the coolest.”

“Bit of a mood killer, though,” Phil says, sighing.

Dan grimaces. “Yeah.”

They stand in silence for a moment, both reliving the look on Kath’s face as she’d first caught sight of them.

“Wanna watch a film for a while? Take our minds off it?”

“Absolutely.”

Three hours after Kath leaves, and they’re on their second film of the evening - Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It’s not helping ease the tension hovering around them, because Phil had said right at the beginning that he’d always kind of fancied Russell Brand, and now it’s all Dan can think about.

“Would you have sex with him?”

Phil wrinkles his nose. “Dunno.”

“Like, if he was here right now,” Dan persists. “Leather trousers, birds nest hair. Asks you to pop your kit off and join him in the cupboard.”

Phil laughs, playing with a popcorn kernel from the almost empty bowl. “Um, no.”

“No?” Dan turns, avidly interested, as ever, in Phil’s elusive sexual preferences. “Why not? He’s had the experience. So, he’d probably be decent at it, at least.”

“Yeah, well, even so.”

There’s something halting, maybe even reluctant about Phil’s tone. Dan might be imagining it, but he thinks Phil’s mildly uncomfortable with this discussion. Dan decides to prod just one last time, to see if he can get whatever the discomfort is out of him, and then he’ll drop it.

“Is it ‘cos he looks a bit, like, grubby?”

Phil laughs again; his cheeks have turned pink. He flicks the popcorn kernel away. “Look, I’m sure Russell’s great in bed. Fantastic, maybe. But right now, I only wanna have sex with you.”

The breath catches in Dan’s throat. As the unexpected statement sinks into his skin, the tension he and Phil have been stewing in fizzles away. He crawls across the sofa - Dan had jumped to the opposite side of it after a startling reappearance of Kath, hands over her eyes, shouting something about leaving her scarf behind and that she wasn’t looking - until he’s close enough to straddle Phil’s lap. He winds his arms around Phil’s neck and kisses him, slowly, taking his time, because they have oodles of it.

Phil is eager and responsive in the way that Dan imagines he might have been himself, if his first time had been with someone he actually liked. Dan had been too young to appreciate what he was losing, and to whom; he regrets it immensely. He’s determined that Phil’s experience will be different. This sweet, incredible boy deserves so much more than some vaguely nauseating fuck in the back of a car that’s over in less than a minute, and that the other party won’t even remember. If Dan is honest, he believes that Phil deserves more than anything Dan can possibly offer, but if Dan is what he wants, then Dan will do his best to make it perfect.

They’re just getting into it, just starting to find their way beneath hems and waistbands, when the doorbell rings.

They break apart, a little dazed.

“We could ignore it?” Phil suggests, and Dan is more than on board, so swoops back in to kiss him again.

A minute passes, and then it rings again.

Dan sighs, reaching for the remote to shut Russell up once and for all, then climbs off Phil’s lap. Phil stands a little shakily, smoothing down his school uniform, and goes to get the door. Dan idly flicks through his Twitter timeline on his phone, waiting for him to return.

“Amanda,” Phil says, somewhere in the background. Dan shoots upright, swivelling to look. He can just make out Phil, and a vague, familiar silhouette on the doorstep. Her brown curls give her away.

“Hey,” Amanda says. “Is this a bad time?”

Dan gets up, his feet marching him to the door without his permission.

“Well, actually,” Phil starts to say, but then Dan is at his elbow. Phil blinks at him, worriedly.

“She wanted to talk to you,” Dan says. “She told me. You should invite her in.”

“I can leave, if you want,” Dan says, because nobody is saying anything.

Phil sits up straight, staring at him. “No, don’t.”

“It’s okay, I can go for a walk or-”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to both of you.”

They both turn to Amanda, vaguely worried. She’s got her hair in a messy ponytail, and is wearing jeans, which Dan cannot remember ever seeing on her before. He doesn’t remember her being at school today either.

“Okay,” Phil says. “Did you want a drink or something? I’ve got tea, or-”

“No, it’s okay. I won’t stay long.”

Dan stares at her hands, clasped in her lap. Her French manicure tips are peeling off. She’s sat in the exact spot on the sofa where Dan had been perched atop Phil’s lap not ten minutes ago.

“I basically just wanted to tell you both that there are no hard feelings,” she says carefully. She aims a smile at each of them, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “At least on my end.”

“That’s good to know,” Phil says, softly. The guilt is still coursing through him, it’s plain to see.

Dan doesn’t respond. He can feel his fingernails digging into his palm, the way they tend to do when he’s trying to suppress some awful emotion he doesn’t want to feel.

“I really am happy for you both,” Amanda continues. She clears her throat, a tiny, perfect crease between her plucked brows. “I know you feel like you used me, Phil. And Dan, I know you must think I’m, like, the ultimate cockblock.”

You have no idea, Dan thinks privately.

“But I’m glad that, even though I didn’t know it at first, I was able to help you both to get what you really wanted.” In her following sigh, Dan’s suspicions are confirmed; this touching speech is not the real reason she’s here. “But - and again, I’m not blaming you guys - after all that’s happened, I’m sort of... in a tricky spot.”

Phil is immediately alarmed. “Is it Hardy? Is he bothering you again?” Dan considers ramming his fingers in his ears so he can drown out the concern in Phil’s voice. He turns to Dan. “You said you scared him off.”

“How is this my fault?” Dan snaps. “If he’s harassing her it’s not because I didn’t punch him hard enough. It’s because he’s a knob.”

The response is about to trip of Phil’s tongue, but Amanda gets there first. “No, guys, it’s not Hardy. Well, not directly.” She shifts in her seat. “The Elite gang are pretty harsh about anyone that doesn’t follow la regle de jeu.”

“La what?”

“The rules of the game,” Dan mutters; Phil glances at him, surprised. “Their game. Shocker, really. They always seemed such an easygoing bunch.”

Amanda raises her eyebrows at him. “Yes, we’ve established that I’m an idiot for going anywhere near them, Dan.”

It’s infuriating that she doesn’t ever try to defend herself. Dan’s not used to having someone so readily accept their own folly. Her acknowledgments knock Dan’s insults right back over to him, and he’s never prepared to swing his racket in time to catch them.

“Wait, so, it’s all of them?” Phil asks, clearly not following the game. “The whole Elite gang are giving you trouble?”

“Have you ever seen Mean Girls?” Amanda asks. “It’s not like they’re knocking my books out of my hands, or shoving me into lockers. But they’re bitchy and they’ve got the whole school under their thumbs. Together, they’re perfectly capable of destroying my life, and they seem pretty intent on it.”

“Are you saying that going to Prom with Phil is akin to committing ‘social suicide’?” Dan asks bitterly, putting the Mean Girls term in a fake American accent. “What a touching sentiment.” He scoffs. “I’m so sick of this stupid playground drama. What are we, twelve?”

“Dan,” Phil warns.

“No, I get it,” Amanda says, looking down. “He’s right. It’s completely pathetic. Even when I was taking part in it, I hated it. Keeping up with the Elites was exhausting. The constant battle for Queen Bee. The lies and the backstabbing, everyone secretly despising each other. And being with Hardy was just embarrassing. Everyone knew he was cheating. The whole discussed it, laughed about it, and I had to pretend like I was too ditzy, too lovesick over him to notice.” She puts her head in her hands. “I thought that, maybe, if I took a huge leap, right back over the tracks, I could escape it. That’s why I said yes to you when you asked me, Phil. I saw a chance at some normalcy and I took it. It wasn’t fair of me, I know that. But in a way, we were both sort of using each other, right?”

There’s a lull in the discussion; Phil aims a worried look in Dan’s direction. Dan begins chewing the skin around his thumbnail.

“I’m sorry that I’m even asking this,” Amanda says then. She looks up at Phil, then at Dan, eyes shining. “But I need your help.”

Phil sucks in a breath. “What is it?”

Something in Dan’s chest crumbles and breaks away. It seems so unlikely that Phil could be over her, if he’s this willing to jump to her aid, even now.

“It’s not much,” Amanda says quickly. “School is over in a couple of months. I just want to get through it. Lillian and the others are turning the whole school against me. People say horrible things. They leave notes in my locker. They spread rumours. I’m sure you’ve heard.”

Now that she mentions it, Dan does recall hearing a few strange things about her recently. He hadn’t paid much attention - he’s usually bored to tears by high school gossip - but hearing that she’d been seen leaving the Savoy hotel in a new designer dress on the arm of a seventy year old man, or on the other end of the spectrum, dancing on a pole in a poor, cheap disguise at a seedy strip club two towns over, had caught his attention.

“What can we do?” Phil asks.

Dan wants to make it very clear right now that he is not, and will not ever be, getting involved in this. His mouth won’t seem to form the words, though.

“I need friends,” Amanda says. Dan waits, but this appears to be the extent of it. “Just to hold the rumours off a bit. If they think I have people on my side, maybe they’d be less vicious. All you’d have to do is sit with me a few times at lunch, or hang out with me outside of school now and again. Maybe I could come to the café every once in a while? Then you wouldn’t even have to make the effort-”

“Amanda,” Phil interrupts. “It’s fine. Of course we’ll be your friends.”

The relief on her face is too overwhelming to be faked. Even so, Dan is not willing to offer his own services as a friend. It’s taken him this long to be comfortable with having just one. Even Lee is still on a trial period.

“It’s just until school’s over,” she says again. “I just can’t take it on my own. I thought I could, and I tried, but they’re just… they’re terrible people. Lillian’s sister is in Aidan’s class, I’m so worried about what could get back to him-”

“It’s okay.” Phil’s smiling, happy this has all been cleared up so neatly. “I got you into this mess, it’s the least I can do.” He turns. “Right, Dan?”

Dan tears a strip of skin from his thumb with his teeth. He wants so badly to say no. He wants things to go back to how they were, for Amanda to crawl back to Hardy, who would undoubtedly be all too happy for the only believable beard he’s ever grown to fix itself back in place. But for some reason, Amanda “Elitist” Jones is suddenly hellbent on doing the right thing. Even Dan knows that to refuse being someone’s friend, for two measly months, is a dick move that cannot be justified, no matter how suspicious he might be of potential motives. If he says his no, Phil won’t understand. He’ll be angry. Their weekend will be ruined, and so might be their future.

So, Dan swallows it all down. “Yeah, totally.”

Phil beams at Amanda. “Oh, by the way, I have your jacket.” He stands suddenly, and Dan feels a little ill. “Wait here.”

He jogs out of the room before Dan can beg him to stay, leaving he and Amanda alone. She fixes him with a knowing stare. “You’re not happy with this.”

Dan thinks about lying, but decides against it. “No, I’m not. You could beg anyone to be your friend for two months. The Elites might be getting people to shun you, but you’re still Amanda Jones. Just smile sweetly and anyone in St Anthony’s would do whatever you say.”

“Exactly,” Amanda says. “I want real friends. People who I can actually talk to. Not Elite wannabes that put me on some ridiculous pedestal, only hanging out with me because they see an open position on the throne.”

“I just don’t see why it has to be him,” Dan says, gripping the arm of the chair.

“Him?” Amanda’s smile is as treacherous as it is sincere. “Dan, I want to be friends with you.”

As usual, the dust takes a while to settle in the wake of Amanda’s departure. Phil brings Dan a mug of tea, handing it over cautiously. Still sat in the same position in the armchair, Dan takes it from him, still mulling over all that’s happened.

“So,” Phil says, perching on the arm of the sofa. He sips from his own mug. “That was unexpected.”

“Mmm,” Dan says. His mind is whirring, producing the kind of noise Phil’s laptop makes when it’s overheating from excess Sims playing. “Guess we’re all besties now.”

“Is it a problem for you?”

Dan considers this, finger skimming around the rim of his mug. “I think... I can get past it.”

Phil nods unsurely, scrutinising Dan’s glazed expression. “You sure? If it really bothers you, we can try and find another way.”

Dan takes a sip of his tea. It’s faintly sweet, because Phil knows Dan too well to believe him when he says he doesn’t take sugar.

“Just don’t fall in love with her,” Dan says into the mug. He means it to come out as a joke, but inevitably it’s spoken quiet and sombre.

Phil puts his mug down, then walks to Dan. He takes him by the hand and pulls him from the chair, then wraps him in a hug. “No chance of that,” he says into Dan’s forehead. “I’ve got something a thousand times better.”

“No!”

Dan wakes up with a jolt, hands coming up to cover his face, because shouts usually mean he’s about to get smacked. He hears a quiet ‘shit’ and then arms come around his shoulders; his heart slows gradually, and then Dan remembers where he is, and that he’s unlikely to be in danger of getting pounded in Phil’s bedroom. At least not in any way he’d need to defend himself from.

He lowers his hands, blinking in the darkness. “The fuck?”

“Sorry,” Phil whispers, guiltily. “Didn’t mean to frighten you. We fell asleep.”

Dan squints, trying to piece this together. “So you screamed ‘no’ in my ear?”

“I’m annoyed at myself,” Phil explains. “We’re supposed to be in the throes of passion.”

Dan snorts, falling back to the pillows, exhausted. “Russell’s a bad influence on you.”

Phil prods him in the arm, then falls back beside him. “I’m sorry. I promised you a weekend of sordid, non-stop lovemaking. So far, the two worst people that could have interrupted us mid-sexy-times did, and now we’ve fallen asleep in our not very arousing Elmo and Game Of Thrones pyjamas.”

Dan laughs tiredly, eyes already re-closing. “We’ve got loads of time for all that.”

“Tomorrow I’m gonna ravish you,” Phil warns, though by the sounds of it he’s already half-unconscious.

“I’d better prepare my body for the ravishing ahead.”

Phil swats him in the arm. “You’d better, Howell.”

They don’t get up until noon, for no good reason other than Phil’s bed is ridiculously comfy. Dan wakes up with his nose in Phil’s neck, so he presses a kiss there, then another, and eventually Phil stirs.

“Hey,” Dan says, then rolls on top of him.

Phil’s blue eyes blink up at him, wide and surprised by the sudden change in positions. “H-hey,” he says. “What’s-”

Dan leans in and kisses the question away. Somehow, Phil still tastes wonderful, even first thing in the morning. Dan can’t be sure the same can be said about his own morning breath. He lets himself sink into the kiss regardless, hands beginning to wander beneath the covers, skidding over the strip of skin where Phil’s pyjama top has ridden up in the night.

Phil’s breath hitches, and then his hands come to Dan’s shoulders, gently rolling him off. Dan sits up, worried. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil says quickly, sitting up as well. The covers fall to his waist. He gives Dan a reassuring smile. “Sorry, just… too hot.” There’s a pause as Dan digests this lame excuse. “I’ll make some tea. Do you want some tea?”

“Um,” Dan says, thrown. “Coffee, maybe?”

“Sure,” Phil says, tossing the covers aside.

He stands up quickly, snatching the mugs they’d used last night from the bedside table. Once he’s left the room, Dan stays put for a second, trying to figure out the next what might have just gone wrong. Eventually, he decides to quell his pounding paranoid thoughts, and follow Phil downstairs. In the kitchen, Phil is whistling away as he clatters mugs and kettles about, happy as a clam. Though he finds this sudden turnaround odd, Dan makes the choies to just forget about it. Perhaps Phil was just hot and uncomfortable in the first few minutes of waking, like he said. Or, more likely, maybe Dan’s breath was actually too terrible to withstand the kissing a moment longer, let alone anything else.

“I’m just gonna go brush my teeth,” Dan calls to Phil, making him jump. He turns, hand on his heart, giggling at himself.

“Cool, do you want some toast?”

“Sounds great,” Dan says, then heads for the bathroom.

They eat toast on the sofa together, watching Good Morning Britain.

Licking the crumbs from his fingers, Dan says, “Piers Morgan’s definitely the kind of guy who’d refuse to go down on his wife, but expect her to give him a twenty minute blowjob.” Dan turns to Phil, who is staring at him dazedly. “Like DJ Khaled. Y’know?”

Phil’s eyes are glazed, fixed on Dan’s fingers. His plate of toast crusts is slipping off his lap.

“Phil?” Dan asks.

He focuses suddenly, snapped back into the room. “Hm? Sorry, what was the question?”

Dan regards him curiously, lowering his fingers from his mouth. “Don’t worry,” he says, turning back to the TV.

A couple of hours later, they’re still on the sofa, because they’re lazy and it’s the weekend. Dan has his feet on Phil’s lap, his back against the other end of the sofa. They’re watching Jeremy Kyle, one of Dan’s all time favourite shows, and laughing at the ridiculous drama erupting on stage.

“To be honest, if some chick told me my boyfriend had fucked her brother and her Dad, I’d probably tackle him on live TV too,” Dan says. He’s got one arm behind his head, and the other resting across his stomach, idly tickling the skin on show. He turns to Phil, amused by the antics on screen. “So don’t try anything, yeah?”

Again, Phil is doing that strange, distant stare. This time his eyes are firmly fixed on Dan’s abdomen, pupils moving in time with the back and forth of Dan’s fingers. A slow smile creeps over Dan’s face, and realisation dawns.

“Phil,” he says again. His voice is a fair bit lower now. “Phil?”

“Hm?” Phil’s eyes are still trained on his fingers, so Dan pushes them just under the waistband of his pyjama bottoms, and Phil looks up, cheeks pink. “Is there something you want?”

Phil swallows. “I was just…”

Dan sits up, feet lifting from Phil’s lap, and closes the gap separating them. He reaches for the remote, switching off the TV, and brings his mouth to Phil’s ear.

“You can have me whenever you want, you know,” he purrs. “If the staring isn’t doing it for you.”

A shiver goes through Phil, Dan can feel it. He slides onto Phil’s lap for the second time this weekend, careful to watch his face for any sign he might not be into this. There’s an uncertainty in his eyes that Dan wants to get rid of, so he settles himself atop Phil’s thighs, and brings Phil’s hands to his hips.

“You still up for some…” Dan arches an eyebrow. “Fun?”

Phil swallows again, his hands tightening on Dan’s hips. “Yes.” He sighs, eyes fluttering closed. “Sorry. I’m just… nervous, I think.”

“Of me?”

“No,” Phil says in a breath. Dan can feel his leg jiggling, because he’s sat on it. “I just… I mean, I know you’ve done this a lot.”

“Wow,” Dan says, sitting back a little. “Cheers.”

“I’m just kinda daunted,” Phil explains. “What if I suck?”

Dan has to fight the laugh that bubbles up rather hard, and he doesn’t entirely succeed. “Um…”

Phil pokes him in the side, making him yelp. “You know what I mean.”

“Hm,” Dan says, already sliding off Phil’s lap, onto the floor. He kneels on the carpet, a hand on each of Phil’s knees. “Sounds like your worries have got you quite worked up.” Phil’s mouth has fallen into a little ‘o’. Gently, Dan pushes Phil’s knees apart. “Let me…” Dan bites his lip, holding Phil’s gaze. “Help you to relax.”

He waits just enough time for Phil to have the option of refusing, but he remains blissfully, mercifully quiet, just watching Dan with wide, fluttery eyes. As Dan leans forwards, tracing his tongue along the seams running along Phil’s inner thighs, Dan imagines he can hear an Angelic chorus. He curls his fingers around the waistband of Phil’s trousers, inching them down, eyes locked on Phil’s, just in case he might protest.

“Lift,” Dan whispers once they’ve reached a point he can’t pull them past. It takes a moment for it to register, then Phil cants his hips upwards, and Dan tugs. The dark hair beginning at his bellybutton snakes down, spreading into a tight thicket at the base of a long, thick, flushed cock. Dan can feel his mouth filling with saliva at the mere sight. “Fuck-ing hell,” he breathes, wonderingly, and wraps his fingers around it, forgetting to stop and ask if it’s still okay. “Phil, you’re gorgeous.”

Phil’s hips twitch, and Dan reorients himself, remembering that this is, in all likelihood the first time anyone’s touched Phil this way, aside from his own hand. Dan moves his hand gently, watching the expressions of awe flicker across Phil’s face. He’s breathing in short stutters, hips twitching forwards, like he wants to thrust into Dan’s fist. It takes about a minute of gently pumping his curled fingers up and down, before Dan’s resolve breaks. He leans in, fist still wrapped around the base of him, and swirls his tongue around the head.

Phil sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, one hand flying out to rest atop Dan’s head. “Fuck,” he says, eloquent as ever.

Dan lets out as snort of laughter, which comes out as a pulse of breath through his nose. Phil tastes so good. He tastes as delicious as he does everywhere else, like he’s got waffle syrup pumping through his veins instead of blood. Dan knows, the second Phil’s flavour spreads across his tongue, that he’s addicted to it. He sinks his mouth over Phil’s length, chasing more, already so blissed out it’s a wonder he can stay focused; he’s wanted this for so long that it’s practically torturous to finally receive it. Like giving a child access to an entire candy store, allowing it to gorge itself, after months of only peering longingly through the locked doors. A whimper falls from Phil’s lips, scraping past Dan’s ears on its way to the floor. Dan pockets it for later, knowing it will be very helpful for the late nights Dan spends alone, thinking about all the many, many ways he wants to make Phil come.

“Dan…” Phil chokes out, sounding strained. Blindly, Dan reaches out a hand, and Phil threads his fingers through it immediately. “Dan, fuck. I don’t think I’m gonna last very l-long.”

Ignoring him entirely, Dan just sinks deeper, unable to suppress a groan, born from the thrill that courses down his spine as he feels the length of Phil’s cock sliding down his throat. He goes slowly at first, letting Phil slip in and out of him gently as he bobs his head. But Phil’s whimpers are turning into needy little whines, his hips are threatening to push further into the cavern of Dan’s mouth. So Dan places a hand on Phil’s upper thigh, and picks up the pace. It’s beyond any kind of pleasure Dan’s ever known, to watch, to feel, to taste, as Phil completely falls apart under his ministrations. He meets Phil’s eyes, holding the gaze because he wants to witness every last second. Phil’s got a hand threaded into Dan’s curls, pushing the hair from his eyes. Dan’s name falls like dewdrops from his reddened lips.

And then, just as he warned, it seems he can’t hold on any longer. He tastes like sweet, sun-warmed rainwater as he floods Dan’s mouth. In Dan’s wildest imaginings of this moment, of which there have been many, he never once dreamed of spitting it out, and now, he wouldn’t do it if you paid him. He swallows all of it down, then lets Phil slip out of his mouth slowly, missing the thick, heavy weight of him on his tongue the moment it’s gone. He sits back on his ankles, breathing ragged, and untangles their fingers.

“Feeling a little less tense?”

Phil still appears to be struggling to glide back down to the real world. He sits up, with some effort, and latches his pupil-blown eyes onto Dan’s. “Come here,” he demands, croakily.

Dan’s never been one to deny Phil, and it would be hopeless to think he could start now. He hops up, clambering back into Phil’s lap happily. The moment he’s close enough, Phil drags him in for a kiss. Dan tries to stop him, knowing he’ll only be tasting himself, but apparently this doesn’t seem to bother Phil. He kisses Dan deeply, hungrily, hands slipping straight under his t-shirt, and then pulling it off entirely. Dan chuckles at his eagerness, and then abruptly stops laughing when Phil reaches between them, to press his palm against Dan’s erection, through his pyjamas. Instinctively, Dan bucks into the touch, hands going for the back of Phil’s head. Phil strokes his thumb across the very spot where the tip of Dan’s cock pokes against the fabric. Dan tilts his head to one side, and Phil’s mouth goes straight for the exposed neck, kissing and biting at it.

“Not fair,” Dan complains, though he’s urging Phil onwards with a hand on the back of his head. “You know that’s my weakness.”

Phil finishes sucking what Dan imagines is a very large bruise, then leans back, eyes sparkling. “I warned you I’d give you another one to match.”

“Lesters always follow through,” Dan jokes, and Phil wraps his arms around Dan’s bare waist, pressing a kiss to his chest.

“Will you come upstairs with me?”

Dan is a little surprised, but he nods regardless. He climbs off Phil’s lap, realising for the first time just how ridiculously, achingly hard he is, mostly because of how lightheaded he feels when he attempts to stand. Luckily, Phil, pyjama trousers pulled back up, takes hold of his hand and leads him up to his room. As soon as they’re inside, Phil shoves Dan backwards, sending him sprawling across the bed.

“Hey,” Dan complains, though he’s laughing. “Didn’t know you were into BDSM.”

“You would look pretty hot tied up,” Phil says unexpectedly, scooting around the bed to dig in his bedside drawer. “But maybe we could try that another time, when I’m less terrified.”

For a moment, the smile on Dan’s face freezes. “You’re terrified?” He watches Phil, concerned. “You don’t have to do anything, you know. We can just leave it for now-”

Phil jumps up onto the bed, pulling off his t-shirt. It’s a very effective method of shutting Dan up, as he’s got a gorgeous body, lean and tapered, with big shoulders and a defined waist. Dan reaches out to grab at him, his hopeless arousal muddying his conscience.

“I think I’d be terrified even if we waited for the wedding day,” Phil says, which makes Dan splutter. “You’re just…” Phil trails a hand down Dan’s torso, lightly sweeping across the skin, side to side. “You’re unbelievably beautiful. On top of everything else.”

Dan thinks about asking what ‘everything else’ is, but knows all too well that Phil’s misguided notions about Dan’s personality are difficult to listen to. Instead, he asks, “what can I do to make you less scared?”

Instinctively, Dan’s hand lands on Phil’s, stilling him as he brushes over the burn scar on his left side. But Phil reaches down and removes it, then leans down to press soft, careful lips against the shiny pink skin. Dan’s eyes sting.

“Just tell me if it feels good,” Phil says as he leans back up. He plucks what looks like a small bottle of lubricant from the pocket of his pyjama trousers.

“Phil, if you knew how many times I’ve dreamt of you... of this...” Dan starts to say, then shakes his head, smiling faintly. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to not make me come, like, ridiculously hard.”

He looks a little dazed at this information, but Phil nods, then slips his fingers into Dan’s waistband, and pulls. Dan lifts his hips so Phil can slide them off, watching Phil’s expression closely as he drinks in the sight of Dan’s entirely naked body for the first time. Dan’s cock twitches, as if it knows it’s being closely observed.

“Shit, Dan,” Phil breathes. His hands are free-roaming over the miles of Dan’s skin now on show. “I want to draw you like this,” Phil says. He trickles light, teasing fingers from Dan’s sternum to his pelvis. “Would you let me?”

“R-right now?”

Phil laughs. “No, not right now.” He settles into a position, half laid on top of Dan, then sends him a mischievous glance. “I have things to take care of.”

Phil picks up the bottle of lubricant, which has fallen to the bed, and uncaps it. He pours some into his palm, then pauses, and squeezes out a little more. He rubs it between his hands for a moment, then, before Dan can stop him, wraps a hand around Dan’s erection.

“Ah! Shit,” Dan exclaims, laughing a little.

Phil freezes instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just freezing,” Dan replies, still chuckling. “Maybe warm it with your hands a little more next time?”

Phil joins in the laughter, nodding. “Sorry.”

He doesn’t get a chance to expand on his apology, because right then he starts moving his hand, the slick lubricant creating an indescribable friction, one that pushes a moan from Dan’s throat, has him arching his head backwards into the pillows. Phil drapes over him, hand still slowly pumping around Dan’s cock. He presses damp, messy kisses against Dan’s neck, bracing his face above Dan’s with an elbow beside his head.

“Does it feel good?”

Dan groans, hands finding Phil’s shoulders. “So fucking good.”

Spurred on by the news, Phil speeds up, at which point Dan’s eyelids screw shut, and he bows forwards into Phil’s neck.

“Look at me,” Phil whispers then. It’s an unexpected command, but Dan does it nonetheless, lifting his head to stare into Phil’s eyes.

He can only hold it for a moment before he has to look away again, but Phil is not having it. He releases his hold on Dan’s erection, which briefly makes Dan want to die. Phil reaches up to tilt Dan’s chin back around, forcing their eyes to meet again.

“Please, I want to see you,” Phil whispers, pressing their lips together. “Will you?”

Tears sting Dan’s eyes, and he’s not sure why. There’s something about this that feels too much, like he’s about to slip under a turbulent, roiling ocean. The press of Phil’s body on top of his is overwhelming; Dan can feel connecting of their skin seemingly at every join, can feel their hearts beating in rhythm, their breaths synchronised. Phil is warmth, and light, and sweet, pure love; it sounds absurd, but pressed together as they are, Dan can feel all of it sinking into him, through his pores, to the sinew and muscle beneath. He feels the incredible swell of Phil’s adoration, and it’s dizzying, maddening to know, deeply, that it’s all for him.

Phil’s hand wraps back around his cock, and Dan tries with all he has to keep his eyes locked on Phil’s like he wants. But two tears spill over, and he has to shut them, to blink them away. Phil kisses him fiercely, like he’s been missing out on the taste of Dan’s mouth for years. Like he’s been battling far away in some great unknown war, with Dan left alone, waiting for him, and now he’s returned, and he’s determined to drown them together, in the love they couldn’t swim in whilst they were parted.

Something cataclysmic builds in Dan’s chest, something terrifying and enormous, so unfamiliar that Dan wonders if he’s on the brink of death. He feels everything Phil is pouring onto him in this moment through their locked eyes, feels the weight of his suppressed yearning. And then it explodes through him, a tidalwave of blinding, electrifying ecstasy, ebbing out to the very tips of his toes. He breathes heavily, gripping onto the only life raft he has: Phil, still above him, floating on the edge of this tsunami, sure, and strong, and safe.

When it’s over, Dan washes ashore, back into the familiar blue and green bedclothes he’s been curled in so many times. Phil rolls to the side, and Dan crashes onto his chest, limp and utterly boneless.

“Was I okay?” Phil asks, tentative and unsure.

Dan doesn’t think words could ever possibly express the pure, raw, visceral phenomenon that he just experienced, so instead, he leans up, spreads himself over Phil however he can, and tries his best to show him.

(Chapter Fourteen - FINAL CHAPTER - Coming Next Tues!)

#skof #some kind of folliful #phan #phanfic

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philiie · 7 years ago

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Interactive Introverts London highlights

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD PROCEED AT YOUR OWN PERIL

This is also the most extra shit like I spent hours writing everything up lol

Go check out @danfanciesphil post here of the Brighton show which inspired me to do this :))

- When they first came it was the coolest thing ever. They were standing on the podium thing and the screen at the back lifted to reveal them in a cloud of smoke and they were silhouettes until the spotlight shined on them. Holy shit it was the best thing ever it doesn't even seem real.

- They were quite close to their apartment as well so Phil said they were considering bringing their sofa and "sitting in our browsing position".

- Dan mentioned how Phil's old videos from 2008 were very different from now (lots of audience approval) and how they were kind of really creepy and weird and honesty it probably isn't a good thing (I disagree but sure whatever). Phil talked about 'snokoplasm' and how it was literally just him rubbing slime over himself shirtless pretending to be futuristic (lots of audience approval for that lol) but he doesn't make videos like that anymore because he wants to make things that are actually entertaining and things he WANTS to make.

- Montage of everything they aren't gonna do in the show just so our expectations are levelled.

- They went backstage to get a silver box (Dan literally Naruto ran for no apparent reason) from which they were acting out the things using props from it in the centre while a voice narrated. In between each one the lights went darker so you could only see their silhouettes as they grabbed props. It was all very pantomime like which was really cool and theatrical.

- The things included: 24 hour livestream of them doing domestic home things (recording of dan on the toilet and Phil munching on crunchy nut appeared on the screen lmao), Erotic roleplay (Phil was in a policeman hat and had a baton thing while dan was in handcuffs. The recording of dan saying please be gentle, I have sensitive skin played), Stripping on stage... they started acting like they were going to actually take their tops off and they actually ripped them off to reveal an exact copy of the top underneath except Phil was now in a half sleeved shirt instead of full sleeved (I now understand Louise's joke)

- Phil stumbled and almost tripped on the step when going into the centre and was like "I almost forgot there was a step there" and was walking really strangely into the middle like elongating his legs after every time he lifted them and Dan made fun of it being like who tf walks like that. "Does anyone ever feel like Phil is actually an alien learning how humans work?" Later on in the show Phil says something about removing his lizard face and Dan says THAT would explain the weird walking. He also imitates Phil going up into the centre and says "I'm doing a Phil walk" v v cute :))

- For the Dan vs Phil segment they talked about the electric shock machines and for each round the pointer moved up one level of electric shock. The first time it moved into the yellow area and Phil said "Finger in the yellow" which elicited a massive audience reaction and dan stopped and was like oh god and Phil was giggling in his 'oops shouldn't have said that' way, somehow he made that adorable.

- The first round was seeing how well they know each other and Dan made the comment saying "don't worry guys I'm Phil trash #1 and all"

- Phil's question was: What did Dan swap alcohol with in ISG10?

Phil answered green tea correctly but the electric shock sound effect came up anyways. Dan was like no you answered that correctly it should have been a ding but the ding didn't come up anyways (lol tech crew nice one)

- Dan expressed extreme discomfort with 'x rated lester' "in any interpretation"

- Dan's bad thing was 'spoilers' and he tried to say that it's better to not be surprised. (I'm pretty sure this is the bit where he said "otherwise I'd be like 'Phil... Phil I don't feel so good'" reaching his arm out to him (infinity war reference for those who don't know,,, I could have killed him in that moment can he not) "Too soon? Yeah probably too soon."

- Phil's good thing that he had to make bad "getting unlimited money" Dan found that hilarious. His way of making it bad was that it gives you too much power- he would strap two planes together and stand on top of and ride them which would probably make them explode.

- They used the Isle of Man pic of Dan for the Dan, Phil or a rat segment (you guys know the one where he's smiling super happy) that just made me feel very warm :)

- The picture for Dan was just a really pale cream colour and Dan made the joke that it might be translucent enough to be Phil's skin but he said no I bet it's a troll and guessed rat. Turns out Dan was right and it actually was Phil's skin lmao from the picture of Phil with the silver hair dye.

- When Dan got electrocuted he fully hit his shin on one of the benches and basically died on stage. He fully snorted and turned away in shame and pain and it was the most hilarious thing ever. "Who designed this stupid set" LMAO

- Phil asks us to clap on the count of 3 after which some people immediately clap and Dan's like omg no on the count of 3. But then people start clapping for the people that clapped "are you seriously clapping for the people that just clapped" and then basically everyone started clapping and oh my gosh it was the best moment ever I've never felt more collectively part of something in that moment it was so funny and Dan looked so done with us all. A great moment.

- Someone asked in the getting deep part that there's a guy she likes but all she does is makes vine references. Phil's response to that is if he doesn't appreciate your vine references he's not worth it. Dan: "there's your dating advice from Phil"

- Phil was cleaning in 'Dan's' room (dan says "like you've ever done a chore") Phil's indignantly says he vacuums doing the hand movement. Apparently he found 'something weird' under 'Dan's' bed so he brought out a silver box that was locked saying it was heavy and handed it to Dan. [yes I'm putting that all in quotation marks fight me]

- He wanted the audience to guess what they thought was inside the box and the things that people said were: A single piece of Phil's hair, A fursuit and a Dildo(ll) rip they kept emphasising DOLL it was too funny nice one whoever that was lmao

- Phil was asking the audience if anyone had a key to open the box and Nora (what a legend) threw some plastic keys onto the stage and Phil fully tried to unlock the box using them lmao what a cutie. When Dan came back with the actual key Phil was like someone had plastic keys and dan was like wtf it was too funny.

- Do you really know Dan and Phil? 1% of people said 'who are Dan and Phil?' Lol they wouldn't stop bringing that up. 47% (?) of people said they don't really know Dan and Phil and Dan was like wow Phil why are you so shady? (He said this twice in the show when addressing the idea that their personalities are different online)

- They did a pie chart to show fave video series which apparently they were really excited about seeing as they hyped that up for a solid 2 minutes,,, "90% of the budget of the show was for this pie chart"

- Dan got sacrificed attached to the wheel of death comes out yelling with no warning so everyone is just screaming because it was so unexpected so i couldn't actually hear anything he said but the basic gist of it was fuck you all lmao.

- When Phil tried hitting him with a slinky it was a couple inches away from "the danger zone" I.e. Dan's crotch. Phil repeats the phrase danger zone two more times after that lmao.

- Dan says "almost hit my balls" w o w.

- The last time is some massive intense bazooka that Phil started stroking and then dan was like "stop stroking it- especially with those gloves on".

- Phil hits him the last time with the bazooka literally almost at his crotch and Dan screams. They say how it's all our fault and that we should feel bad. Phil is like "I don't think they feel guilty" lol I mean he's not wrong

- At the end dan was like "Phil help unstrap me" clearly looking for Phil to unstrap him around the waist but Phil went for his feet instead lmao (Dan just wanted a reaction from us Phil lmao well done). Phil finally got the memo though and helped and then dan stumbled out being like okay get away from me don't touch me and Phil just giggled.

- The white protection suit lab coat thing got stuck on dans shoe so he was hopping around and Phil was like do you need a hand there and Dan said "no Phil I don't need your help to get me undressed" and everyone screamed and Dan was like okay okay shut up (idk if that was an intentional line or not I couldn't actually tell but... nice)

- Phil's diss track happened and if you're reading this you've probably seen a transcript of it already but damn hearing him say bitch live was the best thing ever lmao. Also when he said the line about not wanting to get demonetised he did the making it rain hand gesture (thanks anon) which was hilarious

- There was a point where Dan was like no Phil you can't swear on stage and Phil was like aw why not I wanted to say "what the (fuck)" mouthing it and that's more than I could have ever hoped for

- They did the song and it was v cute and got stuck in my head. When Phil got up and sat on the piano he was swaying one leg back and forth and it was adorable.

- They ended the show bowing and went back behind the black screen that they came out from and were waving the whole way through and Phil was bending down to wave as the screen was going down and it was v lovely :))

And then I died the end.

#phan #dan and phil #interactive introverts #ii spoilers #phandom #shut up sadiyah #100 #200 #300 #400 #500 #1k

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auroraphilealis · 7 years ago

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Too Tense to Be Undone (1/5)

Too Tense to Be Undone (1/4) | Dan’s never had an orgasm before. Despite being in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend for three years, he’s just never been able to finish. The doctor’s don’t know what’s wrong with him, so Dan’s mostly put it out of his mind. Until his gap year, when he starts talking with AmazingPhil, and accidentally admits that he’s never come before. Phil’s happy to help with more than just convincing Dan to post YouTube videos, if Dan will just give him the chance. | Phan | Explicit | Slight Friends with Benefits, Pining, Eventual Smut, Very Explicit Smut, Dirty Talk, Flirting, Getting Together, 2009, Skype | 4,569 Words This Chapter

Intense thank you to @imnotinclinedtomaturity who has spent the last week editing fics for me because apparently I’m on a roll. Also for spurring me on when I got this idea out of nowhere (I’ll be honest, I saw this really cute porn video on my dash and I couldn’t help myself. It was supposed to be PWP I don’t know what happened). Also thank you to my followers on tumblr who kept encouraging me to go on while I screamed at them that the word length just kept growing.

I’ll be posting every other day, so expect to hear back from me with chapter 2 on Monday :) I’m still writing chapter 4 so uh, extra encouragement would be… appreciated.

Title from David Bowie’s song “Get Real”.

(ao3 link)

Dan wasn’t easy to please.

In fact, he was pretty sure that there was something wrong with him, because despite his young age when he and his girlfriend had first started hooking up, he’d never been able to come. Orgasms just didn’t happen for him. And soon after he’d get his girlfriend off, she’d moan about how it hurt for him to still be inside of her, and stare at his wet dick and frown at the very idea of sucking him off after he’d been inside of her.

It had sucked, to put it lightly.

Getting off seemed so distant, so unattainable, that Dan never managed. Everything, everything, fell short. His hand, his girlfriend’s mouth, the wet heat of her body… it all felt wonderful. But it was never enough. He was always left high and dry, unable to come, and with a sick feeling in his stomach that just ended up making him give up.

Sex was nice, sure, what with the way it made his body feel, but there was never that big ending that Dan had heard so much about. He could work himself up into a frenzy, and even recognized the way his body would start to tense, as if it wanted to finish. But nothing ever happened.

Instead, Dan was always left teetering on a precipice, balls drawn up to his body, tense and waiting, but nothing would happen. There was always a sensation of molten heat in his abdomen that drove him fucking crazy, but no matter how hard he chased his own high, or how fast he fucked his girlfriend, he never came.

So he gave it up for a lost cause, and mostly turned to sex for that flicker of pleasure, or the chance to be intimate with his girlfriend.

But then they broke up and Dan was left with… well, his hand. For a while, he tried. He tried it fast, he tried it slow, he tried fondling his balls while he stroked his cock, but it never finished

And there really was no starting point if it wouldn’t end.

So he stopped altogether. Sometimes, he’d wake up with a hard-on, and he’d rub it into the soft cotton of his duvet, but he never went further than the hazy sensation of drugged pleasure that came with it. Then, he usually took a shower and waited for his throbbing dick to calm down enough that it stopped pumping all of Dan’s blood supply down. It was never worth trying anything else.

So Dan was hard to please.

He was eighteen years old and had never experienced an orgasm, and he was fairly convinced he never would. He didn’t have erectile dysfunction; the doctors couldn’t figure out what was blocking his… release, and he was perfectly comfortable in the understanding that he was very much, bisexual thank you very much. So it wasn’t the fault of his ex-girlfriend that Dan hadn’t been able to come with her.

It was just. Well. Dan.

Unfortunately for him.

“It could just be a disorder,” the doctors had suggested after he turned 18 and they determined he’d matured enough that he, well, should have been able to finish. They’d thrown around a few names that Dan couldn’t remember if he tried, referring to situations where people couldn’t stop having orgasms, or were triggered by the simplest of things, in order to make Dan feel better about his problem, but. Well. At least those people could. He would take those problems over his any day. Dan was angry at first, but then he.

Sort of accepted it.

There was nothing else to do for it except keep trying, but Dan wasn’t willing to put himself through the agony of getting so, so close but not quite reaching that high, so he hoped maybe a partner in the future could help. Assuming he could find someone willing to put up with it, at least. He was certain he wouldn’t mind continuing to just get his partner off, but he’d kind of like some kind of reciprocation. An attempt, at least. Maybe.

If he was lucky enough.

Dan was on his gap year, though, and he wasn’t particularly eager to date any of the guys or girls from his hometown. Dating apps were gross and mostly searched for singles nearby anyway, not to mention the creepy married people looking for a discreet partner, so those were out too.

Dan tried not to think too much about his failed sex life, these days. Sometimes it just felt like a waste of time, when for all Dan knew, he was never reaching orgasm anyway. So he did his best to distract himself with other things, like watching youtube videos and working at the law firm his dad had gotten him a paid internship at.

It kind of sucked.

And was yet another reason Dan sometimes just didn’t bother thinking about sex. He had far more to worry about in his life than whether or not he was going to fucking orgasm ever. He had a future to think about - regardless of whether he wanted to or not.

The main thing was, Dan really, really, really didn’t want to be a lawyer, but he didn’t see any way out of it with his dad looming over him the way he did. One throwaway comment about going to school to be a lawyer, and now Dan seemed stuck in the decision.

God, sometimes he hated his dad.

There was one good thing in his life, though. .

AmazingPhil, Phil Lester of the youtube kingdom, was kind of sort of Dan’s friend.

Well, more than kind of sort of.

They had each other’s phone numbers and their personal skype usernames, and Phil treated Dan like a he was actually his friend, and not just another fan. They spent hours talking to each other, joking and teasing over twitter and dailybooth, and dropping hints to the rest of the world that they maybe, sort of were into each other.

Which was, unfortunately, not true.

On Dan’s end at least.

He didn’t know about Phil’s end. They didn’t talk about it. They just flirted, and joked, and messed around. But mostly, they were just friends. Good friends. Best friends, even, if Dan had a say. Phil was the kind of person Dan could see himself knowing for the rest of his life, and the four year age gap didn’t even phase him.

In fact, it kind of excited him. Not that that was a particularly useful emotion in Dan’s life. It wasn’t as if he could actually do anything with the erections that he could get from just looking at Phil’s face sometimes, let alone the dreams he had. And yet they happened anyway. It was sort of embarrassing, but he supposed it would have been even more so if Dan had actually wanked off to the guy.

No. Instead, he didn’t wank off at all. He wasn’t really sure what was more embarrassing in the end.

Anyway, Dan more than kind of wanted to get into Phil’s pants, but they’d never even met in real life, so he didn’t think that was exactly the most plausible possibility in the world. Besides, like he’d said, he really didn’t have any idea of Phil’s true feelings. The guy was a fucking enigma, insanely good at hiding his feelings, and yet managed to be true to himself all at the same time.

In fact, when Dan spoke with Phil, he often found himself forgetting that he was talking to AmazingPhil, because despite being a similar guy, the Phil Lester that Dan spoke to was far more toned down and amazing than the persona he put on the for the camera (not that camera Phil wasn’t amazing too, just, in a different way. An impossible way).

Phil Lester was just kind of… Quirky. Crazy. Funny. Smart. And sexy. Sexy as all fucking hell.

Basically, he was the perfect package, and if Dan lived any closer, he probably would have jumped him the first time he’d seen him (okay, maybe like, the second, but the point remained). Being his friend was good too. Dan enjoyed that. He enjoyed having someone listen to him wallow while being happy to talk to him about his passions, including youtube and Dan’s very persistent desire to become a youtuber himself.

It was just nice. It was nice to have a friend like this. It was nice to know someone who was happy to help him, and didn’t make Dan feel like he was being a burden. And it was nice to have someone to combat the negative voice of Dan’s dad in his head.

It would be even nicer to put Phil’s focus to another task, but…

Dan shook his head. He couldn’t keep thinking about things like that. It got him… physically interested, and then it usually took like a good fifteen minutes (or longer, depending just how interested he got) to make his boner calm down. Besides, he was on a skype call with Phil, and he’d much rather focus on the sound of his best friend’s voice than on the pressing feeling between his legs.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Phil said, “You know, about you posting youtube videos?”

Dan mumbled something that sounded vaguely like an affirmative, because for all of his bravado, he really wasn’t all that confident. In fact, Dan could be pretty insecure at times, and when it came to youtube, he was… well, at his lowest point.

Or, he had been.

Phil had definitely helped him work out of that hole, at least a little bit. Dan had filmed a couple videos already, and he had footage that Phil thought was hilarious, but, well, he hadn’t exactly edited it together or bothered making an introduction video.

“Don’t get too excited, Dan, we’re only talking about you becoming internet famous over here,” Phil teased.

“Shut up!” Dan snorted. He gave Phil his best unamused look, but he couldn’t help bursting into a fond smile at the way Phil looked back at him. It wasn’t all about Phil’s sex appeal, okay, Dan had a massive crush on the guy too. He was sweet, and he had this way of looking at Dan that made Dan feel like he was on top of the fucking world. “What have you been thinking, then?” Dan asked, because it didn’t seem like Phil was going to continue unless Dan actively chose to take part in this conversation.

“Oh, you know,” Phil hummed, “I was thinking maybe you could film an intro this weekend? Maybe that’ll encourage you to actually start editing your other videos, so you can get them up.”

The words made Dan shrink back a little. Youtube was like, a thing he really wanted and he talked about it with Phil because he knew that Phil would take him more seriously than his parents or his other friends, but, well. Actually posting a video and just talking about it were two very different things.

Filming an introduction to his channel meant this whole thing was real, and once Dan had put his face out there, he was terrified to give it up as a failure. He didn’t need everyone he knew telling him they were right.

“Yeah,” Dan said, noncommittedly.

Phil instantly frowned.

“I really don’t understand what you’re so afraid of. You’re really attractive and funny. That’s like, the perfect package for youtube,” Phil explained. “Besides, you’ve shown me your skits! They’re really good, and you look fucking edible in them, if you know what I mean,” Phil added with a wink.

The expression was a little awkward. Phil had trouble blinking one eye and not two, but it still sent a chill up Dan’s spine - and a surge of blood down to his groin. Never let it be said that he did not have the body of an 18 year old, because he sure as hell did. He got hard just as easy and just as often as anyone else he knew, he just… couldn’t do anything about it, that’s all.

The idea of Phil finding him edible was mouth watering, though.

Dan’s cheeks coloured red.

“Stop,” he moaned, “you’re flattering me!” With a dramatic hand to his head, Dan pretended to fall backwards in a swoon, which successfully broke the tension between him and Phil. They laughed and the world felt normal again - except for Dan’s dick, because that sure as hell hadn’t gotten the memo to calm the fuck down.

“No, but seriously, Dan,” Phil said again, “What’s up with you? I really think you should do it. If I was able to get popular on this platform, I don’t see why you can’t.”

“Yeah, but you’re like. Phil. You’re this super tall, sexy guy with dreamy blue eyes and a good sense of humor. Have you seen yourself in the toxic video? You can’t tell me you weren’t trying to be provocative. How many girls wanted to fuck you after that, hmm? I could never be as good as you.”

Dan didn’t intend to go down the self-deprecating route, but it was kind of his signature thing to do.

Thankfully, Phil wasn’t one to put up with it.

“I might have gotten a few offers. The only ones I took even half seriously were the guys, though,” Phil said, offering Dan another awkward double wink. “But no, really, Dan. Have you looked in a mirror? If you think I’m sexy, I don’t know what to say to you. The amount of followers you have on dailybooth from your nakedbooths alone could far outshine mine if you let it build up long enough.”

The words sent another little zing through Dan. If he was being honest, he knew he was attractive. He’d been a ladies man in secondary school, and even though his last relationship had survived the last three years of school, he’d still known he was well attractive. It was just… Phil was so many leagues ahead of Dan already that it didn’t feel comparable.

Rather than letting Phil dominate the conversation any longer, Dan smirked at his friend.

“Been having a look at my nakedbooths, hmm?”

“You know I have been. How I am I supposed to resist?”

And here came the part of the night that Dan always particularly enjoyed: the cocky flirting. The cocky flirting that Dan was never sure whether it was real or not. Phil always got this intense expression on his face, like he knew he could get anyone that he wanted. He was so confident that it put Dan to shame, and Dan had always thought he was a pretty confident guy. Phil, though - Phil was not afraid to show himself off, and to make it very clear what he wanted.

Phil was no virgin, that much Dan knew. In fact, Phil had admitted that at one point in his life, he’d been a little bit of a slut. He’d learned a lot during his masters program. And it wasn’t all academic.

“How many times have you jacked off to my pictures?” Dan teased.

Phil didn’t back down, not even for a second.

“Too many times to count. My favorite is how innocent you look with all those stuffed animals posed around your body. Don’t leave much to the imagination, do you?”

Dan laughed, his voice husky, and his cock suddenly very interested in the topic of their conversation.

Dan was mostly just glad he’d managed to divert Phil’s attention away from Dan posting his first video.

“I like to let people know what they’d be waking up next too.”

Phil’s eyes, impossibly, grew darker.

“Oh yeah? Is that why you hide the part we all want to see the most? To make sure we take you to bed?”

“Maybe,” Dan teased.

“God, I bet you look beautiful when you’re worked up,” Phil whispered. His voice had gone all deep, and it made Dan’s mouth feel insanely dry.

Was it getting hot in here? Maybe. Dan should open a window. He didn’t want to move from his bed.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would,” Phil returned, eyes glittering. His mouth tilted up into his trademark smirk that always made Dan wonder if he was just another game to Phil. “I’d love to get you under me, see how you fall apart. I bet you look amazing when you come.”

The words made Dan’s eyes close, made him feel wistful, lusting for something he knew he couldn’t achieve. It caused his hands to twitch at his sides, itching to relieve some of the tension of his cock. His laptop was thankfully perched on top of his crotch, so Phil could have no idea what kind of effect he was having on Dan, but Dan wanted nothing more than to move it so he could get a hand on his dick.

Not that it would do anything. But still. Phil’s words made him feel so fucking good…

To be taken care of, by anyone, for however long they were willing. God, that was the dream.

“Do you, Dan?” Phil asked, pulling Dan from his thoughts.

His eyes popped open, and he stared quizzically at Phil.

“Do I what?”

“Look hot as fuck when you come.”

The question knocked the breath out of Dan, because he didn’t know. But the way the words curled off of Phil’s tongue made him desperate for the answer. He wanted to fall apart under Phil’s talented hands, and finally know what he was like when he finished. He’d never fucked another man, but he’d love to, he’d love to find out how different it was than being with a girl, and to see if he liked having a cock in his ass. He had a feeling he would.

What would it be like to get fucked? Dan was just horny enough to want to know.

His cheeks went dark red as he contemplated how to answer the question.

Finally, he went with the truth.

“I don’t know.”

Phil seemed to misunderstand what Dan meant, though. His smirk only seemed to grow, and he looked at Dan like he wanted to eat him.

“How would you like to find out?”

Dan had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from making a noise, but he let his hips roll a little, adjusting to the new pressure in his pajama pants. This wasn’t territory Dan was exactly… comfortable with.

It felt like lying, to go along with this, and pretend his issue with never finishing didn’t exist. But he wanted to. God, did he want to.

“Uhm, I don’t know,” Dan whispered.

“I could show you, if you wanted. Get you off over skype, talk you off the edge, and record it all for you,” Phil continued, voice low and rough. The words washed over Dan, and it all sounded so good, except -

Except -

“I’ve never had an orgasm,” Dan blurted out. His face, already impossibly red, seemed to grow redder.

On the other side of Dan’s screen, Phil’s eyes had gone wide. In fact, Phil’s entire posture had changed. He’d gone from complete and utter confidence to outright confusion, shifting backwards so he wasn’t quite so close to his own camera, and staring at Dan as if he’d grown two heads.

“You’ve never had an orgasm?”

Dan laughed nervously. “No, I haven’t.”

Phil didn’t seem to know what else to say. He was so taken aback that Dan thought he might actually be uncomfortable with the whole situation. Dan’s own mind was whirling. He couldn’t believe that he’d even said that to Phil, let alone that Phil had offered to get him off over skype before he’d said it. They’d flirted hardcore before, and Dan had joked about his nakedbooths plenty of times, but they’d never stepped into this realm before.

Phil asked Dan provocative questions, but Dan always brushed them off.

Until today.

Eventually, Phil managed to pull himself back together. His eyes softened, and his shoulders relaxed as he offered Dan a sympathetic look.

Dan didn’t want pity. He found himself shrinking back.

“I thought you had a girlfriend for three years? Are you not… I mean. Are you still a virgin?” Phil asked, words completely matter of fact. “I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable Dan. I didn’t even think, I just assumed that -”

“I’m not a virgin,” Dan muttered, cutting Phil off before he could bury them both into an even deeper hole. “I’ve had sex before. Plenty. With my ex-girlfriend. I’ve just... never had an orgasm,” he admitted.

Phil didn’t seem to know what to say to that, either. Dan was starting to get used to that. He hadn’t told very many people that he couldn’t orgasm, but they all seemed to react in the exact same way.

Speechlessness.

Dan sighed, and reached up to card a hand through his hair. He pushed his fringe back, and then immediately fumbled to brush it back into place, already self-conscious enough without his hair being a mess.

Finally, Phil spoke again.

“Are you… do you just not… do you have erectile dysfunction or something?”

“Phil!” Dan reprimanded. “I don’t have erectile dysfunction. I’m not 80! What the fuck!?”

“I’m sorry! I just don’t understand! How have you had sex before and not…”

“I don’t know,” Dan finally admitted, defeated. “The doctor’s don’t either. I’m perfectly healthy, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with me, and I can get hard as easily as anyone else. I just. Can’t finish,” Dan finished lamely.

It was an embarrassing thing to talk about, especially to someone Dan was kind of, sort of, incredibly interested in. Besides, Dan still didn’t know if Phil was into him or not. They’d gone way past the normal boundaries tonight, but for all Dan knew, Phil just wanted to fuck him. Not be in a relationship with him.

Dan desperately wanted more. He’d never been a one night stand kind of guy. He might be a flirt, sure. But he was possessive as all hell and got jealous easily. Dan didn’t share well. At the end of the day, he was committed, and he always expected his partner to be committed as well.

That was part of why Dan and his ex-girlfriend had broken it off. She’d found someone else, and, well. Dan couldn’t really blame her.

She’d found it upsetting that Dan couldn’t finish with her, despite the fact that she so rarely tried to help him actually do so.

So Dan was a little bitter towards his ex. So what. He was allowed to be. She’d technically cheated on him, after all.

Phil, for his part, seemed a little lost for words. Dan stared at him, terrified of how he was going to react. “Oh,” Phil finally replied. “I mean. Have you tried?”

“What the fuck, Phil?” Dan snapped. “What kind of a question is that!? Of course I’ve tried!” he complained. “I know how to jack off, asshat. I just can’t get anywhere with it.”

Dan was borderline fuming now. Phil was looking at Dan like he was a science experiment, and it was pissing him off. First, his girlfriend had left him because he couldn’t orgasm, and now his best friend was acting like Dan simply hadn’t put in enough effort or something.

“Well,” Phil said, after another moment of peering at Dan. He leaned in slowly to his webcam, and suddenly that same dark, sexy look was back on his face. “Maybe you just haven’t tried hard enough.”

“Fuck you!” Dan snarled, “Who are you to say I haven’t -”

“Dan,” Phil said, effectively cutting him off. Dan’s chest was too tight for this. He could feel himself heaving, and it wasn’t from arousal anymore. It was anger.

Phil didn’t seem to understand just how livid he’d made Dan. He just continued to smirk at Dan with that same look on his face that he’d had when he’d suggested filming Dan pleasuring himself.

“Maybe I phrased that wrong. I think, maybe, you just haven’t had the right attention paid to you. I’m sure you could orgasm, given the right partner,” he purred.

Dan was speechless. He could still feel his body thrumming with furious energy, and he still kind of wanted to tell Phil off for presuming to know Dan’s body better than he knew his own, but. Well. He hadn’t quite been expecting Phil to say that.

Dan licked his lips. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Phil said, that same intense look on his face. “That I think I might be able to help you with your little problem.”

Dan’s cheeks were flushed red again. Despite the outrage he could still feel simmering under the surface, his dick was perking back up. That should have annoyed Dan, but Phil looked so sexy that he was used to it by now. He’d just have to will it away later…

“Look, Dan. You’re hot, and I am very much so attracted to you,” Phil explained, “And if you seem to have a bit of trouble finishing, I can promise you that I wouldn’t give up after just one try. In fact, I don’t think I could ever stop pleasuring you, given the chance,” he added, practically purring once again.

His eyes were so dark that Dan was dizzy with it, and his voice a perfect balance between gravelly and in control, so that Phil sounded like the goddamn sex god that he undoubtedly was. Dan couldn’t deny that he was curious

“Phil…” he whispered.

“Dan. I want you. And if you’ll give me the chance, I think I can guarantee you an orgasm. You were talking about coming to meet me, so how about in two weeks. My parents will be away, and you and I… we can work on your little problem together.”

Dan’s mouth was like a fucking desert. Everything Phil was offering sounded so fucking good, but -

But Dan wanted more than just a one night stand.

He was paralyzed with indecision as Phil drew back from his webcam. The smirk didn’t leave Phil’s face, but he did look a little flushed, and possibly a little turned on.

Dan didn’t know how to answer.

“Think about it. And Dan,” Phil added, “I hope you’ll post that intro video soon. I’d hate to have you star in a collab with me only to have no channel to direct your new followers to.”

And with that, Phil winked, waved goodbye to Dan, and hung up their skype call.

That little shit.

Dan was left staring at a white screen with a few links and hasty conversations in his and Phil’s chat, and nothing else.

His heart was racing with a combination of anger and arousal. Dan didn’t know which to focus on. He was too busy fumbling with the offer Phil had just given him.

Phil’s parents were going out of town, and he was inviting Dan to come over. There was no way he could have been joking about fucking Dan if he’d planned it so they’d be home all alone. And on top of that, Phil had mentioned a collab. Fuck. Dan’s head was spinning.

Had all of this really happened?

He didn’t know, but he wanted to find out.

Besides, with a promise like that, how could Dan refuse?

#phanfic #phanfiction #phanfictioncatalogue #phandom #phan #phan smut

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glitterrhowell · 6 years ago

Text

Chapter 37

title: Seized

Co-author: fadingcrystalvoid

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan

Word count: 2k

Warning/Genre: Rape/extreme violence/ depression/PTSD/Degradation/torture/ Non-consensual pretty much everything/Little!Dan/Daddy!Phil/Kidnapping

Summary: It started out as a fun day at the park but it ended in terror. Phil takes his little Dan to the park and while Phil is not looking, Dan suddenly gets kidnapped. What will happen to Dan? Will Phil ever see his boyfriend again? Did Phil have something to do with it? Heavy trigger warning

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“I hope you’re not offended but I don’t completely trust you.” Dan scoffed at the women sitting in front of him.

Her eyes soften at eyes angry blazing one’s and it just made him angry.

“Mr. Howell I don’t know exactly what went down with your last attorney but what I do know is that he did not have your or your boyfriends best interest in mind. All I’m offering is to assist Mrs Raines here in helping Mr. Lester’s innocence be proven as well as getting the proper justice for you and the other victims.”

Dan’s blood was boiling. His blood had been boiling since he’d learned of all this nonsense with Phil but the moment it had really hit him was when he had seen Phil for the first time in months in court last week.

He would never have described Phil has active or fit but whatever muscle and fat he had on his body was now gone his skin just hung on his bones. His face was sunken in and he had had dark circles under his eyes. But the most jarring difference about Phil that dan noticed was he now had a two-inch scar that ran down the side of his face. With the hassle of trying to get Daul off the case and get another lawyer assigned Dan hadn’t had the chance to visit Phil and ask him about it yet. And quite frankly he was scared to find out what it was from.

“Mr. Howell?”

Dan was shaken from his thoughts. He sighed, “Well I don’t see any problem with you helping Phil’s lawyer. You’re highly recommended and I’m sure paying enough for you.” He said spitting out the last part.

She simply smiled at him, “So do we have a deal?”

“Mrs. Fawn you have yourself a deal.”

~~~~~~

“Mrs. Raines, Mrs. Fawn do you have anyone else that you would like to question?” the judge asked looking down shuffling through her stack of papers.

“We’d like to call Mr. Kide back to the stand.”

The whole courtroom went silent at the request.

“I object!” Shouted the defense.

“Under what grounds?’ The judge questions

“My client has already testified more than enough times and has been very accommodating of this court, there is no reason to bring him in to go over what Lester made him do again.”

The judge thought for a moment before she spoke, “I’ll allow it, I want Kide kept in isolation tonight so is testimony is not tampered with and all of us will be back here bright and early tomorrow morning to continue this.

“Your honor!”

“Mr. Evens! This is my courtroom, therefore, we go by my rules you got that?” The man mumbled something under his breath but nodded his head in agreement.

“Ok for the day court is dismissed.”

“Wait! Phil!” Dan said, trying to catch Phil's hand before he was lead off by the uniformed guards. He was so close he could reach out and hug him just one more step and he could hold his boyfriend.

“What the fuck do you think your doing boy?” the guard asked pushing him back.

“I...I… was just trying to give him a hug,” Dan said.

It was at that moment Phil’s eyes found his and his heart shattered into a million pieces. All the pain Phil was feeling, he could suddenly feel and it was becoming too much. it was consuming him; he had to tear his eyes away. A pitiful whine left his throat as he did, but it was the only thing he could do unless he wanted it to consume him.

“No touching or talking to the prisoner!” the guard barked at him.

Dan looked up just in time to see the guard leading Phil out of the courtroom roughly pulling at his arm in a way that he knew would bruise in the morning.

~~~~~~~~

When Dan walked into the courtroom the next morning the one thing he had not been expecting to see was his parents sitting on Phil’s side of the courtroom. Angry tears fell from his eyes. What were they doing here? And that's exactly what he asked them when he marched right up to them.

“Dan honey-”

“No, I don’t want to hear it! You’ve wanted nothing to do with me my entire recovery and you haven’t cared this entire time! Why are you here now?” he yelled, tears still rolling down his face.

“Daniel, calm down,” his mother tried again.

“Don’t you dare try and tell me to calm down!” he shouted again.

He could feel himself slipping; this wasn’t good. His parents may have meant good but all they were doing was causing him stress.

“Dan love, how about we go sit down over here?” a sweet soothing voice whispered in his ear.

Dan looked up and saw Louise smiling at him. She wrapped her arms around him and guided him to the other side of the room and sat him down.

“You’re trembling love,” she fussed, wrapping her own jacket around his shoulders.

“You're alright now,” Kathryn said pulling him into a hug.

Normally he would have resisted but not right now, right now he just wanted to be held. He looked back at Louise and mouthed “Thank you,” to her and she just nodded her head.

Eventually, he calmed down and the slip seemed to have passed at it was time for the trial to begin

~~~~

“Mr. Kide the first thing I would like to ask, has your story changed from the last time you have told this court?” Mrs. Fawn questioned.

Kide gave a sly smile as Dan would call it and answered, “No I stick by everything I said before. Lester was the mastermind and he made us do everything, threatened our families if we didn’t do what he said.”

“Very Mr. Kide, Since I’ve already given you the chance to change your story and you have declined I guess It shouldn’t even matter to you that Conray confessed the truth to everything late last night?”

Dan’s heart stopped; he hadn't been informed of this information and surely he would have been right.

The look on Kide’s face was priceless though it was of pure horror confusion and angry all at once.

“He wouldn't! That little bastard would never betray me!”

“I object! I wasn’t informed of this information!” Kide’s lawyer screamed.

“Overruled! The questioning may continue!”

“Well I hate to tell you this Mr. Kide, but it is indeed true; he flipped on you so fast it was comical. All the men at the station were having a good laugh at it.” Mrs. Fawn chuckled. “He was very adamant that you were the mastermind behind all this and how he didn't do anything wrong.

Kide growled in anger, “Is that so?”

Dan couldn’t believe his ears as Kide literally spilled everything. Not just the stuff about Dan but the other victims as well. He explained how Conray had come to him and shown him Dan’s videos. At first, he thought it had been a harmless infatuation but Kide would spend hours and hours pouring over this kids videos and social media accounts trying to pin down is exact location. All Kide would talk about was when he got him and what he would do with him. “He had my cabin covered in photos, wall to wall with pictures; it was starting to get fucking creepy.”

“I knew he wasn’t going to stop and I knew I couldn’t let him kidnap this Howell; he was big news there would be a worldwide hunt for him. So I thought I would try and find someone who looks just like him, though that might satisfy Seth’s needs. They never seemed to last long though; he’d use them a few times, abuse them but he tired of them quickly and his fixation was always back on Howell. “

“What did he do with them when he was done with them Mr. Kide?”

“Well sometimes he would kill them, sometimes we’d just leave them there and shove the next person in there with them.”

“Anyway, I tried several different people: women, men, younger adults that all looked and acted much like Howell and none of them ever kept his attention. Finally, after doing some research, I followed Howell around for a few weeks a realized he was what people call a little and that must be what Roger found so appealing about him. So I thought if I could find someone in the same family that maybe just maybe it would be enough. So I acquired Nico Howell. “

The courtroom was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“What happened after that, Mr. Kide?”

“Well he did last longer then the others did; he wasn’t what his cousin was - a little or whatever - but he was innocent enough and he looked enough like Howell for Roger.”

“But even in the end that wasn’t enough for him, was it, Mr. Kide?”

“I suppose not because here we are.”

“Mr. Kide I just have a few more questions. Why do this for a friend?”

Kide Shrugged his shoulders, “Because he let me do whatever I wanted.”

The courtroom booed and shouted and it had to be silenced by the judge.

“Okay, Mr. Kide, just one more question. Was Mr. Lester involved at all what-so-ever in the kidnappings?”

This was it the moment the whole trial had been leading up to. The tension in the room was thick you could cut it with a knife. And then he answered.

“No, Phil Lester had absolutely nothing to do with any of it.”

The courtroom burst with excitement and had to be brought back to order once again by the judge.

“I think we have heard enough if the jury will now make a decision we will all wait.”

~~~~~

“Daniel this has to be good news right?” Kathryn asked, pulling him in for a hug.

Dan was still in shock.

“Dan?”

“Umm, yeah, of course, it has to be,” he said trying to sound as reassuring as he could.

It only took the jury an hour to come to a verdict and Dan, the Lester family and their group of friends were all shuffling back into the courtroom. They had to bypass the huge group of press that was packed in the back of the courtroom like sardines but they finally managed to make their way safely to their seats.

The moment they brought Phil out, the cameras began clicking behind him and that was something he was still getting used to, but he tuned it out and put all his focus on Phil. Phil looked absolutely defeated and if Dan had to guess, he was just going through the motions. It broke his heart.

The judge cleared her throat. “The jury has reached a verdict. Will the defendant please stand.”

Phil stood as the Jury entered the room.

The judge continued, “On the count of Kidnapping we the jury find the defendant Philip Michael Lester: Not Guilty.”

Dan's heart leapt from his chest did he really just hear that. He turned to Kathryn and she had tears in her eyes and nodded her head and that's when he knew he’d heard correctly.

“On the charge of rape, we find the defendant not guilty.”

The courtroom burst into whispers, but all Dan heard was the beating of his own heart. He couldn’t believe it this nightmare was finally over.

Dan couldn’t move; his brain was going a million miles a minute and all he could think about was Phil. He could feel himself being pulled in for multiple hugs but he really wasn't paying attention; all he could focus on was Phil.

Phil had sunken down into his chair and was sobbing into his hands his whole body was shaking with sobs, it was then that it hit him that Phil had been found innocent. He broke out of the grasp of whoever was embracing him and took off towards Phil. Each step brought him closer and closer to Phil, when he was finally there it wasn’t anything like he imagined. They didn’t embrace each other and kiss or hold each other and cry. Dan stood there and looked at him.

He cleared his throat hoping to get Phil’s attention, “Phil?”

Phil looked up at him through his tear stained eyes and he whispered, “Dan?”

They stood there staring at each other for a few moments before Dan fell to his knees and before he knew it he was a sobbing mess as well.

“Can I hug you?” Phil asked softly.

Dan nodded his head as he shoved his head into Phil’s lap. It was awkward because he still had handcuffs on his hands but they made it work.

~~~~~

Phil’s trail was the only thing they were talking about on TV some of it was bad but most of it was good. Also apparently when you're found innocent they don’t release you right away you have to go back to prison and they have three days to release you. Dan was angry when he learned this. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t just let Phil go; he had been found innocent. But the lawyers sat him down and explained that there was a lot of paperwork to fill out and the system always took a long time to get stuff like this done.

Dan looked down at his phone; Phil was supposed to be out five minutes ago. He stood outside the gates of the prison where they would be releasing Phil this morning and he didn’t know if he was more excited or nervous. What if they changed their minds and decided to keep him? Could they even do that? All these thoughts raced through his head when the gates opened. He looked up and saw the most beautiful sight. Phil.

Phil walked towards him in baggy joggers and a worn out sweatshirt; his hair was long, almost to his shoulders and he was in desperate need of a haircut. As he got closer Dan couldn’t help but notice how much skinnier he looked. That was not something he had noticed the last few days in court.

“Hi,” Phil said, walking up to him.

“Hi,” Dan breathed.

Since the trail was over, everyone was getting back to their lives and since Kide had confessed to his and Conray’s charges, they would be sentenced and would probably spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Luke would continue to make the city of London safe with his recent promotion to captain, thanks to his hard work on the Lester-Howell case.

And as for Dan and Phil, they were just happy to be together again.

#dan howell #daniel howell #dan howell fanfiction #dan howell fanfic #daniel howell fanfiction #daniel howell fanfic #amazingphil #amazingphil fanfiction #amazingphil fan fic #phil lester #Dan and Phil #phil lester fanfic #phil lester fanfiction #dip and pip #seized #tw: violence

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phantasticworks · 5 years ago

Text

Kickstart My Heart

Hi! I’m back with another little drabble! Credit to fi who tweeted something about parent rights and then directed me to a tweet about a child kicking the back of Phil's seat and him just being sympathetic on the parent's behalf. this kind of spiraled out of my control (sorry lmao) but i really enjoyed finally doing some Parent!Phan so i hope you enjoy reading it!

read on ao3

Words: 4.8k

Description: Phil is having the worst flight of his life. Until he’s not.

Warnings: I actually don’t think there are any! let me know if i need to tag anything as a warning!

Kick.

Phil flinches.

Kick, kick.

He glances to his neighbor, a woman in her mid-fifties if he had to guess. She’s fast asleep, her book still open on her lap. Evidently the football game isn’t happening behind her seat.

Kick-kick kick-kick.

Whoever it is certainly has some sort of rhythm, Phil thinks to himself. It’s a silly thought, probably, but he’s trying to give the person a chance to prove themselves as someone who isn’t rude enough to consistently kick the back of the seat of a stranger sat in the seat in front of them.

The kicking halts, and Phil breathes a sigh of relief. He hears quiet voices behind him, and he’s assuming that the culprit has been apprehended. He settles back in his seat, looking down at his iPad where he was previously watching a pre-downloaded episode of Free! before the kicking began.

Assuming he’s safe to resume, he unpauses his show, turning the volume down a tad so as not to wake the sleeping woman next to him. He’s barely fifteen seconds in when there’s a pressure on the back of his seat.

He sighs, closes his eyes, and counts to ten.

As calmly as possible, he pauses his show and slides his headphones off entirely, turning to the aisle to peek behind his seat.

A small child of about five is sat there, his big brown eyes meeting Phil’s in what looks like surprise. At the sight of such a small human, Phil pauses.

“Hello,” the little boy speaks, catching Phil off guard.

“Hi,” he replies, smiling.

Suddenly, a third voice enters the conversation.

“Oliver, leave this nice man alone.” Phil’s eyes flicker over to the man beside the child, his eyes meet a pair identical to the ones the little boy possesses. “I am so, so sorry,” the man says, his eyes panicked. “This is his first plane ride and I swear he’s not usually like this, we’ll leave you alone now, right-“

Phil laughs quietly, interrupting his ramble. A little patch of pink appears right above the man’s jaw, and Phil studies it, deciding it’s rather endearing. “It’s fine, really. You’re not bothering me,” he says, the last part directed at the little boy, who smiles at him shyly.

“Still, I’m sorry. I told him to quit kicking the seat, and I think the last one was just to spite me.” The man sends the little boy a look, one that very clearly says “we will talk about this later.”

“Ah,” Phil says, glancing at the little boy. He tuts at him, and the child hides a grin. “Naughty, naughty, aren’t we?”

The little boy, Oliver, shakes his head. “No!” He protests. “’m just bored! Daddy didn’t bring any games for me to play.” He sends a death glare to the man who is apparently his father, but he seems entirely unphased by this.

“I-“ Before the man can really protest any further, Phil speaks up.

“I have some games on my iPad if you’d like to play them.” He glances at the man to gauge his reaction, which is a stunned, sort of hesitant look.

“Really?” The little boy asks, his whole face lighting up.

Phil shrugs. “Sure, if your dad doesn’t mind.” He shares a look with the brunette.

“Erm, that’s really quite kind of you to offer, but we can’t-“

“Nonsense,” Phil says, waving him off. He unconnects his headphones from the jack and clears his apps before going to a section with mostly kids games he keeps for when he’s around his friend’s kids. “Go wild, kiddo,” he says with a smile, handing the iPad over to the little boy.

Oliver’s eyes are big and round as he takes the device, perusing the selection of games with childlike glee. His father stares at him for a moment before snapping his head up to stare at Phil. He opens his mouth, slowly shaking his head like he’s about to insist he takes it back, but Phil isn’t having that. With a wink and a smile, he turns back around in his seat, listening to the sounds of the little boy playing a game behind him.

~~~

It’s probably twenty minutes later when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He startles, as it comes from his right, where he’s positive his seatmate in the middle is still asleep. The person at the window appears to be conked out as well, so he stares in puzzlement, trying to figure out who, or what, tapped him.

A hand comes up between the seats then, and Phil nearly screams in surprise. He just barely manages to turn it into a surprised gasp, and even then, his neighbor shifts a little, as if she’s privy to his near panic-attack.

“Sorry,” a quiet voice comes from behind his row of seats. Phil shifts a little, turning to peer through the area where there’s a space between the seats at the top. The brunette man is smiling sheepishly at him. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You didn’t,” Phil lies automatically.

The man smirks. “Right.” They stare at each other for a minute, and Phil’s cataloguing everything about him, from his deep brown eyes, to the concave of a dimple near his mouth, to the way that two strands of his hair are just a bit too short to sweep up into the curly mess waving over his forehead. “I’m Dan,” he says, interrupting Phil’s current attempt at drawing a mental map of the constellation of freckles on his cheek.

“Oh. Phil,” he replies with an awkward smile.

Dan smirks, as if he knows that Phil was just thinking about how cute his little button nose is. “I wanted to say thank you, for being nice to Olly.” His eyes move over to the little boy next to him, staying trained there for several seconds before his gaze flits back to Phil’s. “I really appreciate it.”

Phil waves him off. “It’s not a problem, I promise. I can’t imagine how tough it is being a parent with a small child, especially on a plane. But you’re doing a great job.” He smiles warmly, letting the sincerity seep into his words. He really does mean it, too. Until the kicking had started, Phil hadn’t even realized there was a child so close to him on this flight. This was worlds away from the last flight he took, when all he was aware of was a screaming toddler two rows ahead of him.

There’s a soft smile on Dan’s lips, and the pink patch has made a reappearance. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

“Daddy, can you help me?” Oliver’s voice punctuates the conversation, and Dan offers Phil an apologetic smile before turning to tend to his son.

Phil has just turned back around, trying to hide his own grin as he hears Dan struggle with understanding the mechanics of whatever game his son has chosen. After a few moments, Dan’s voice drops to a near whisper, and Phil strains to hear what he’s saying. He’s listening so intently, with his head tilted back, that the feeling of a little hand tugging at his shirt makes him yelp.

The lady beside him fully wakes up then, giving him a dirty look before shifting around in her seat, snapping her book shut like she has something to prove.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil says quietly to her. He feels the tug again and turns around to come face to face with the child who was previously sat behind him. “Hey, buddy,” Phil greets him with a smile.

Oliver smiles a little shyly before handing Phil the iPad. “Daddy said to give this back to you because he didn’t know how to play the game.”

“Oh, that’s-“

“Olly!” Dan hisses from the row behind him, his voice pitched high in what sounds like embarrassment.

The child grins cheekily up at Phil, who laughs. “Here, why don’t I try to help you out, okay?”

Oliver’s eyes light up and he nods excitedly. Before Phil has the chance to ask what game he was playing, the child is crawling up into his lap, pulling the iPad in Phil’s hand to his own lap before patiently waiting for him to unlock it.

“Oh,” Phil says dumbly. There is a child in his lap. He’s not sure why, but that’s definitely a thing that is happening. “Well, okay.”

He unlocks the iPad and lets Oliver pick the game he needs help on. Phil’s just walking him through what he needs to do to get to the next level when they hear a throat being cleared. It’s probably comical to an onlooker how both of their heads snap up in surprise at the same time. In Phil’s surprise he nearly drops the iPad but has the sense to hold Oliver to his chest, so he doesn’t slip off his lap.

Dan watches this with something between disapproval and endearment in his eyes. “Oliver, I told you to give it back. Not bother him with it.”

Oliver pouts up at his father. “Daddy, he said he’d help me!”

“I don’t mind, Dan, really.” Phil says with a smile.

Dan studies them for a moment, his arms crossed. Phil takes this chance to take in how tall he is, and how he’s having to bend over a little in order to stand up in the cabin. Phil hates that noticing his height makes him even hotter.

With a sigh of what might be defeat, Dan uncrosses his arms. “Fine. But…” He hesitates then, looking at Phil with what might be embarrassment. “I’d feel a little more comfortable if you maybe moved back to our row? There’s an empty seat, and I’d just prefer to be able to see him.” He looks almost apologetic, but Phil completely understands, and he can feel his own face flood with heat when he realizes how creepy he probably looks, allowing a stranger’s kid to sit in his lap to play games on his iPad.

“Yeah, of course. Let me just grab my stuff,” Phil says quickly, before Dan changes his mind. Because Oliver really is a sweet kid and Phil loves kids. He’s trying to convince himself that his eagerness to sit with them has nothing to do with wanting to look at Dan some more.

“Okay,” Dan smiles, the dimple making a reappearance. “Olly, hop up, Phil will come sit with us, okay?”

The child nods and clambers off Phil’s lap to stand next to his seat, waiting patiently. Phil allows him to carry the iPad, much to the little boy’s glee.

Dan’s already moved back to their row, where he’s shifted over to take the window seat. The shutter is drawn, Phil notices absently. Oliver sits down in the middle seat before turning to look at Phil with wide, expectant eyes. “Sit, sit!” He cheers, tugging on Phil’s sleeve.

“Olly,” Dan says, his voice a warning.

Phil laughs good-naturedly before settling into the seat beside the child. “He’s fine, I promise.” He tilts his head to look at the iPad in Oliver’s lap. “Alrighty, buddy, where were we?”

An hour passes, in which Phil struggles through simplifying explanations to the child, before eventually Oliver hands him the tablet and sits up so he can watch what Phil does over his arm. Eventually Oliver decides to move the seat rest, scooting over so that he’s pressed tight against Phil’s thigh. Phil glances up at Dan in alarm, unsure how to handle it, especially with Dan right there watching.

Dan shrugs, and he appears to be biting back a smile. “He has no personal space,” He explains with a fond roll of his eyes.

“Oh,” Phil says dumbly.

“Phil, look! I did it!” Oliver tilts his head back to grin up at Phil, a toothy smile that shows off his missing left front tooth.

“Way to go, buddy! Click on the green arrow and we can try the next level.”

Oliver nods, scrunching his eyebrows together as he sets to work on trying to figure out the second level. Phil stares down at him, a little burst of something like fondness blooming in his chest when he sees the way a dimple carves into his cheek when he presses his lips together. He giggles to himself, glancing up at Dan, who is tapping away on his phone.

“Dan?” Phil says quietly.

The man turns his head immediately, smiling. “Hm?”

Phil nods to his son. “Make that face?” He requests, holding back a laugh as Dan tilts his head, surveys his son’s expression, and then copies it.

When Phil bursts into laughter, Dan frowns. “What?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Hold on,” Phil gasps, pulling out his phone and looking for the bread meme. He finds it pretty quickly before tilting the phone for Dan to see. “This is what you looked like.”

Dan looks like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or be insulted, but after sneaking a couple glances at Phil, he smiles. “Alright, alright. No need to bully me, Phil.”

Phil holds his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t! You just had a derpy face.”

Oliver, who’s apparently heard this whole conversation, looks up. “What about me? Do I have a derpy face?” He bats his puppy dog eyelashes, and Phil snorts.

“You look just like your dad,” Phil says, trying not to insult the child. He doesn’t even mean it as an insult, anyway. Dan is cute, and so was the face he’d copied from Oliver. It just so happened to be meme worthy, is all.

The child glances up at Dan, who scrunches his nose at him with a smile. Oliver copies the look and Phil is certain is heart is melting. “I don’t see it,” Oliver announces, turning to Phil with a triumphant look.

Phil smiles, ruffling his hair playfully. “Don’t worry, you’re cute, it was a compliment, bubby.”

Oliver nods, then side eyes his dad. Phil barely knows them, but he can feel like he’s about to say something cheeky.

Sure enough, he smirks up at Phil, looking so much like Dan that it’s almost scary. “So, does that mean Daddy is cute?” He looks pleased with himself as soon as he said it.

Dan, however, flushes. “Oliver!”

Phil doesn’t even flinch, staring down at Oliver with a casually vague expression. “Yep, sure does.”

The child at least has the decency to look abashed, but it only lasts a second. “Daddy broke up with my mommy because he doesn’t like girls.”

“Oliver James,” Dan hisses. This time he sounds less amused.

Both Phil and Oliver glance over at him, and Phil cringes when he sees the fury boiling behind his eyes. “Dan-“

“What?” Oliver groans. “He said you’re cute!”

Dan looks on the verge of arguing, so Phil decides to intervene. “You know, Oliver, I don’t like girls either,” He says, with all the casualty in the world.

Oliver looks vaguely surprised. “Not even your mum?”

Phil laughs, gently knocking his elbow against Oliver’s shoulder. “No, you spoon! She doesn’t count. I love my mum.”

The child nods seriously. “My mum moved to ‘Merica. Daddy said she’s gonna eat all the pancakes.”

“Olly,” Dan sighs. He only sounds vaguely defeated now.

“I love pancakes,” Phil tells the child, ignoring Dan completely. “They’re my favorite food.”

Oliver nods along, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands over the iPad on his lap, which has long since turned off. “Daddy says they’re junk food.”

Phil gasps. “Your dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Dan splutters indignantly. “I- Phil,” He whines. “I had a whole thing going with that. Now I’ll have to make pancakes every day.”

“Oops,” Phil giggles, winking at Oliver. “Guess I ruined that one.”

“Oops,” Oliver parrots, shrugging dramatically.

Dan sighs, shakes his head, and leans back in his seat, his eyes falling shut. “I have lost all control of this situation,” he announces.

Phil shares a look with Oliver, who rolls his eyes, or tries to, at least. “So dramatic,” Phil tuts.

“Drama llama,” Oliver says in a voice dripping with disappointment.

“I can hear you,” Dan mutters.

Oliver pats on Phil’s arm. “Do you make pancakes?”

“Er- sometimes, I guess,” he says, shrugging. The whole changing conversation topics every six and a half minutes is really taking his head for a spin.

The child bounces in his seat excitedly. “You could make us pancakes! Daddy always burns them and scrapes the burn off.”

Phil has a joke on the tip of his tongue but bites it as soon as he sees the death glare Dan sends him. Instead, he smirks. “Maybe your dad just needs someone to teach him how to cook them.”

Oliver nods. “Prolly so.” He glances at Dan, then leans in closer to Phil. In a stage whisper, he says, “Daddy doesn’t let me have whip cream, but he puts it on his. So when he’s not looking, I eat it.” His face is full of glee when he leans away, and Phil can’t help but laugh.

“Well, well, well,” he says, sending Dan a pleased look. Dan narrows his eyes. “I know something you don’t know,” he sing-songs.

Dan rolls his eyes. “You’re a child.”

Phil snorts, gesturing to Oliver. “If he likes me, I reckon I’m doing alright.”

Dan studies him for a long moment, his lip curling up in the hint of a smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He glances down at Oliver, his face shifting into something softer, far more affectionate. “I guess you’re right.”

~~~

When the flight eventually lands, Phil’s pretty sure he’ll never be able to stand again. His legs feel like they’re melded into the shape they’re in, and he’s already dreaming of how great it will be to stand up and stretch. He gathers his things quietly, as Oliver is asleep in the seat next to him. He’d fallen asleep laying against Phil’s arm, and Dan had felt so guilty, apologizing profusely. Phil had said it was fine, that he honestly didn’t mind, but Dan still shifted his child so that he was laying with his head in Dan’s lap.

Now Dan was combing through his son’s hair gently, gazing out the window. He’d opened the blind when Oliver went to sleep, and they’d quietly chatted for the rest of the flight. Phil learned that Dan and Oliver lived in London, about twenty-five minutes away from himself. He learned that they were in Florida to visit Oliver’s mum, who Dan split up with four and a half years ago, when Oliver was only five months old. He also learned that Dan was single.

“It’s so pretty,” Dan says softly, almost to himself.

Phil leans over, looking out the window as well. It really was, in a way. It was breathtaking to see the clouds parting around them as the plane descended, and no matter how many times Phil saw it, he’d still always be amazed by it. “It really is,” he replies quietly.

Dan turns his head to look at him. “I’m sorry for bothering you the whole flight.” He looks bashful.

“You didn’t,” Phil assures him immediately. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Oliver.” He smiles cheekily when Dan rolls his eyes. “And you’re not bad company, either.”

This has that lovely pink patch reappearing, and Phil marvels at it. “Yeah, well,” Dan mutters. “You aren’t so bad yourself.”

Phil grins triumphantly. He’s about to reply when the wheels of the plane touch down, jostling them. Oliver stirs, but doesn’t wake. Dan cards a hand through his son’s hair, staring down at him with a fond smile.

“Do you want me to help gather your things?” Phil asks quietly.

Dan starts to shake his head, then seems to think better of it. “Actually,” He starts, not meeting Phil’s eyes. “If I wake him up he’ll be a little grumpy, so do you mind holding him while I gather it? He’s less likely to throw a fit since you’re a new person and he’s trying to impress you.”

Phil smiles mischievously. “Is he the only one trying to impress me?”

“Shut up,” Dan says with a blush crawling up his neck. He begins to wake Oliver, probably to avoid confronting Phil’s obvious flirting.

“No,” Oliver whines when Dan shakes him gently awake.

“Shh, I know. Here, Phil wants to see you before we get off the plane.” Dan’s voice is quiet and gentle as he guides Oliver into a sitting position. The child crawls over to Phil’s lap, rubbing his eyes. Phil smiles down at him, but Oliver pays him no attention, snuggling in against Phil’s chest and pressing his face to Phil’s shirt. Phil’s arms automatically go around him, and he feels that same bubble of affection. Children are so sweet, he thinks absently.

Dan takes a moment to stare at them before apparently snapping out of it, quickly and quietly gathering their things into two separate bags. One is clearly Oliver’s, with a dinosaur print on the back, and the other is a black sequined one, likely Dan’s. “Cute bag,” Phil teases.

The brunette sticks his tongue out, and Phil has to bite back his goofy responding smile.

A few moments later everyone is filing out of the plane and Dan looks anxious, constantly glancing up at the overhead bins. “Do you have something you need to get out?” Phil asks.

“Er, yeah. Do you mind grabbing it?” He looks like he hates to ask, but Phil just nods easily.

“Sure.” He starts to stand, then realizes that he kind of has his hands full. “Er…”

“Oh, right.” Dan looks embarrassed. Phil loves the pink patch even more. “Olly, c’mere, Phil’s gonna stand up.”

“No,” Oliver says easily. His little fists dig into Phil’s shirt, and he wraps his legs around him as tightly as he can.

“Oliver, come on.” Dan’s voice is stern.

Oliver shakes his head against Phil’s chest. “No, Daddy.” He doesn’t sound particularly upset or petulant, but his mind is made up.

Phil stares at Dan helplessly. Dan looks right on the cusp of flat out anger, but a voice from the aisle makes them both look up.

“Excuse me, do you two need a hand?” A lady probably not much older than Phil is sat across the aisle, waiting for their row’s turn to stand up and file out the plane.

“Er, we’re fine, thank y-“ Dan starts.

“Yes, actually! Would you mind grabbing the bag above us?” Phil says politely, smiling at the lady gratefully when she nods and stands.

“The blue one?” She asks, already tugging at something.

“Yes,” Dan replies, sounding embarrassed.

Phil glances at him and mouths the word “Sorry.”

Dan shakes his head a little, offering him a half-smile.

“Here you go,” the woman says cheerfully, handing the bag across Phil to Dan.

“Thank you,” They say in almost perfect unison. They glance at each other and snicker, much to the amusement of the good Samaritan who is still standing in the aisle.

“You three are so cute,” She coos.

“Oh, we’re not-“ Dan starts.

“Thank you!” Phil replies, talking over him. She smiles and returns to her own seat, gathering her things. Dan sends Phil a curious look. Phil shrugs. “How weird would it be to say, ‘Oh, sorry, no, this is a stranger! Not the father of my child, we just met today!’”

Dan opens his mouth, then immediately shuts it again. He makes the bread face. “Point taken.” He glances down at the three bags in the chair between them, a sigh escaping his lips.

“Here,” Phil says, reaching out. “I’ll put Oliver’s on his back.”

Dan nods and hands it over, watching as Phil coaxes the child into sitting up enough for the straps to be slid onto his arms. He fusses a little, but Phil shushes him gently, reminding him that good boys on the plane have to wear their own backpacks. Dan rolls his eyes but has a quiver to his lip when he turns away.

It’s finally their row’s turn to exit, and Phil stands carefully, cradling the small child to his chest and slinging his own backpack over his shoulders. He glances back at Dan, raising a brow. “Got everything?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Phil nods and leads the way, smiling when the flight attendants coo at him. He feels awkward, considering this isn’t his child, but he’s not bothered by their attention. If anything, some sick part of him is thriving off people assuming that he could land someone like Dan and manage to raise a beautiful child with him.

“God, it feels so nice to stand up,” Dan groans behind him when they’re walking through the tunnel back into the airport.

Stopping to allow Dan to walk beside him, Phil grins. “I know, right? I feel like I’m in a little sardine can every time I fly.”

Dan nods, his nose scrunching up in distaste. “I literally hate that description, but that’s exactly what it feels like.”

Phil laughs, slowing to a stop when they’re near some chairs. “Er, I think this belongs to you,” He says as he gently extracts Oliver’s arms from around his neck.

“No!” The little boy cries, hugging him tighter. “No, please don’t leave! We didn’t finish our game!”

“Olly…” Dan sighs. “Phil didn’t come on this flight just to play games with you. He’s got his own life, and we do too.”

“But we could be in it!” He argues. Oliver tucks his face into Phil’s neck and sniffles. He mumbles something that Phil doesn’t catch, but Dan’s face shifts into something like defeat.

“Bub…”

Oliver turns his head a little, glaring at Dan. “You never let me keep anyone. Mummy left, and you sent Ben away, and Uncle Addy doesn’t even come see me!”

Dan’s face crumples, and Phil’s heart splinters. He’s almost positive he’s about to start crying. To save Dan the embarrassment of crying in front of his child or other people, Phil steps closer to him, so Oliver has almost no choice but to tuck his face back against Phil’s chest. “I have an idea, buddy. How about your dad and I exchange phone numbers, that way when you want to see me and play games on my iPad he can let me know? Does that sound like a plan?”

Oliver sniffles, considering it. Phil’s eyes find Dan’s and he watches, his chest aching, as Dan wipes away at a couple tears. He tries to smile at Phil, but it falls a little short, looking more like a grimace.

“I guess… I guess that would be okay,” Oliver mumbles.

Phil smiles, petting his hair. “Okay.” He glances at Dan, allowing his lips to curve up into a smirk. “Your phone number?” He asks, tugging out his own phone and unlocking it.

Dan looks a little speechless but takes the device, creating a contact in Phil’s phone. He taps for a moment, probably sending himself a message so he’d have Phil’s number as well. He hands it back when he’s finished, and Phil tucks it away. “Okay, Oliver, time to go,” Dan says gently.

The child sighs, but slowly detaches himself from Phil, allowing himself to be handed off to his father. He tucks his face into Dan’s neck immediately, and Phil watches with warmth in his chest as Dan nuzzles his cheek against Oliver’s temple.

“Well… I guess we’ll be seeing you soon,” Dan says, his voice bordering on shy.

Phil nods, biting back a smile. “I guess so,” he replies. He lays a hand on Oliver’s head, messing his hair playfully. “Be good, little man. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

Oliver sits up long enough to wave his little hand. “Bye, Phil, see you later.” He sounds tired, and his eyes are drooping. Phil hopes Dan can handle getting him home before he conks out again.

“Bye, Phil,” Dan says softly. He gives Phil one last lingering look before turning to walk the opposite way. Oliver’s little face peeks up over his shoulder, and he waves one last time before they’re swallowed up by the crowd.

~~~

When Phil gets back to his own flat, he checks his phone for any messages. Seeing his most recent is the text Dan sent himself on his phone, and unable to quell his curiosity, he taps on the chat.

Phil: I was too scared to say it w olly there but u were very lovely to us on the flight and I rly appreciate it. also u r very cute xx

Phil: Is this supposed to be from me to you or you to yourself?

Dan: You spoon Its from me to u

Phil: Oh Well you are very cute too Xx

Dan: U don’t rly have to see us again if u don’t want olly will live I promise

Phil: Ridiculous I want to Does Friday work?

Dan: Friday is perfect x

#fluff #airplane fic #phan #phanfiction #phanfic #parent!phan #airplane au #parent dan au #pretty much just nonsense if im being honest #but i thought it was a cute prompt

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