#i think a really big comfort is the fact that lots of other people feel the same way
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Yeah Moon not comforting Sun isn't the end of the world.. I wish that he could at least be there even if for a bit and hold his hand.. cause I know that Moon doesn't like physical affection.. but I think that Moon doesn't want to make Sun's mental state worse..
And when I rewatched the episode I think that Moon's voice sounded as if he was trying to hold himself together when they returned from Dark Sun's dimension..
Especially when Solar was talking to him about Sun..
To me it didn't sound like Moon tried to run away but he sounded worried about Sun..
And I think that Moon doesn't want to say something insensitive to Sun or to unintentionally talk over Sun or focus on his own emotions..
And tbh I think that finding Dark Sun isn't the worst idea.. because only Dark Sun knows why he did what he did..
I think that Moon tries to act as quickly as possible because he doesn't want the consequences of Sun killing Nexus go from already big to catastrophically huge because it could destroy Sun..
Moon knows what happened after Sun killed Bloodmoon.. even if he doesn't know every little detail of what happened after his death.. he knows enough to understand the gravity of the situation..
And all of this can coexist with the fact that Moon is scared to talk with Sun about Nexus and his own relationship with Sun.. and also now Sun isn't ready for such talk..
I think that it's not exactly 100% only that Moon isn't good with emotions..
Idk how to say it.. but I feel like Moon would like to go to Sun to just even be there with him..
But there was something in Moon's voice.. something completely different compared to how Moon was back then before he got reset..
He sounded worried about Sun but he also didn't try to show it.. I don't know why exactly.. maybe he doesn't want to have an emotional breakdown himself..
To me it seems like Moon is trying to understand Sun's emotions better and be more considerate about Sun's feelings and mental well-being than he used to..
To me Moon sounded genuinely worried about Sun but maybe he was also overwhelmed.. after all he went through a lot himself and he doesn't want to overshadow Sun's poor mental state by his own issues..
Or that's what I think.. cause Moon used to make everything about himself all the time before the reset..
And maybe that's why he tells others that he's fine.. and goes elsewhere because then others will take care of Sun who needs help more than him right now..
And I think that he might be afraid that if he stayed others would try to take care of him when he thinks that now is not the time..
And like there's definitely so many reasons to why Moon didn't go to Sun..
And I think that Sun would understand everything..
And about Moon's abuse towards Sun.. I think that Moon treated Sun awfully.. like really a lot worse than many people think..
But I think that Moon is aware of that.. that's why he says that Sun can hate him..
But I really think that Moon doesn't know how to deal with all of this.. how to actually accept his own bad actions and not beat himself over it..
Because Moon thinks that Sun should hate him but Sun doesn't because all Sun ever wanted was for Moon to try just like he's doing now.. Sun even said that to Earth during therapy..
Sun and Moon both should talk with each other.. have a heart to heart conversation about their relationship and everything.. but now isn't the best time.. and they didn't have too many opportunities before that either..
I'm definitely more biased towards Sun because I find him relatable and I stilll wish that Moon at least was there with Sun and hold his hand for a moment..
But I don't think that Moon is a monster and bad person for not knowing how to handle this situation.. it's the worst situation they had to deal with.. so I understand..
Also I think that Moon may sooner or later tell more about what he feels or thinks.. I mean maybe he'll talk to Earth about why he avoids talking to Sun or maybe he'll talk with Taurus..
But I'm glad that Moon didn't sound as dismissive as he used to before the reset and as I thought at first he did (cause I was watching without sound - don't ask me why)..
I just think that there's something more going on that Moon doesn't want to talk about for reasons that are unknown for now..
watching Sams tumblr completely turn on moon simply because he’s emotionally unavailable is so fucking funny to me
like, YouTube comments has more Marcy then tumblr does
and as someone who’s emotionally unavailable (and unstable), I do understand where he is coming from but people think he’s horrible for not being there for his brother and, all I ask is for people to try to put themselves into the character shoes and think, how the fuck can moon help his brother after killing someone?
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why does being in your 20's feel like you've barely started your life, but your funeral's next week
#like#i feel like its mostly feeling stuck in a place youre not sure how to navigate#while feeling like you're supposed to know things that you didnt#or youre not supposed to be stuck in easy spots because youre an adult#and being an adult is about knowing answers#plus the realization that the world keeps spinning no matter what#for better or for worse#the only real way to start finding answers i suppose is just to work on yourself and move forward#who knows#mikutimetalk#my tags are a complete mess i hope someone can at least understand them through the mess#i think a really big comfort is the fact that lots of other people feel the same way#so that means that youre not as alone or as a mess as you think you may be
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand��an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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A Simple Guide to Not Being Afraid to Write Comments to Fic You Read
I've seen a lot of posts about the current state of fanfiction comments. Writers, especially writers who have been in fandom for a decade or more, are frustrated by the lack of comments, and have noticed a definite decline in comments (and all other forms of reader interaction) in the past ten years or so. Many readers feel daunted by the expectation of leaving comments, afraid they'll do something wrong. As a fandom old maid, the latter confused me for a while, until I realized that most of the people who feel that way probably have not been taught this form of communication.
But your loving fandom elders are here for you. Come along as your auntie tumblr user icemankazansky makes this shit easy.
The easiest way to think of fanfiction comment etiquette is to compare it to something you likely already know: Gift Receiving Etiquette.
Fanfiction began as largely a gift economy. And a lot of it still is! You'll see authors participate in exchanges like Yuletide and Id Pro Quo; those are ficswaps in which authors write for a specific person to specific prompts. And even outside that, fanfiction is not written for money; authors write and post it simply for the joy of creation and community with fellow fans. Fic is posted free for anyone to enjoy. Is that not a gift?
So. When you as a reader finish the chapter or story you're reading and you are faced with the comment box, try to follow the same etiquette you would when receiving a gift. (And even if you didn't love this gift and it's not your favorite gift ever, we already know that it's more useful than the products from your cousin's MLM that they're passing off as gifts, because you read the story. At the very least, it entertained you for the time you took to read it.)
The big rule of gift receiving etiquette is not to insult the person who gave you the gift, either directly or indirectly. That's it. Full stop.
I've been seeing a lot of comments lately that are just along the lines of, "Thank you for writing this story and sharing it with us." A+, top of the class, full marks, you're doing amazing. If you don't feel comfortable commenting on the story itself, that is perfect feedback. And that's the most basic way you respond to a gift, yes? Thank you for the gift. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for sharing.
Does this rule mean that you cannot say anything at all that might be negative about anything? No, absolutely not. What you want to avoid is saying something that is, at its core, a negative evaluation of the author or their work. Let's do some examples.
Character A's obliviousness about Character B's MASSIVE crush on them made me so frustrated! I was tearing my hair out internally screaming, "JUST LET HIM LOVE YOU."
✔️ Excellent comment! You're allowed to have all sorts of feelings about things that happen in the story, and in fact authors LOVE to hear about any emotions they made you feel. Yes, frustration is not a positive emotion, but the thing you are expressing frustration about is not the author themselves or their shortcomings.
Contrast that to:
I was really frustrated that it took you so long to post this chapter. The cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter had me tearing my hair out, and then you just left us hanging FOREVER!
❌ Nope! Here what you are expressing is frustration with the author and how fast they come out with new chapters. Imagine your sister buys you a gift for your birthday, but she isn't able to give it to you until the next week, and you respond with: "What took you so long?" I think Emily Post would frown on that.
Reframing
The way you say something and the point of view from which you give feedback can have a HUGE impact on the message you're sending. Let's take the last comment (the one about wanting an update) and see what happens when we reframe the same sentiment as a positive:
I was SO EXCITED to see that you updated this story! I have really been looking forward to seeing what happened after the cliffhanger in the last chapter.
✔️ Now it's not an insult. The author will be happy to know that you are happy to see new work from them.
This idea extends beyond the story itself: to the fandom, the characters, the pairing, the tropes, etc. Let's do some examples.
I looooove reading about these sexy boys SO IN LOVE even though the movie you're writing about is SOOOOO problematic.
❌ Nope! Assume that the author enjoys the canon, characters, pairing, etc. in the stories they write. This comment is insulting to the author because it basically says, "That thing you love is not great, and you should probably feel bad for liking it." Imagine your aunt gifts you a sweater from a popular retailer, and you respond with, "This is so cute, I love it! It's a shame that it was made in a sweatshop." Do you have a valid point about the canon or the retailer's business practices? You very well might. Is this the proper time and place to talk about it? Absolutely not.
Let's do a reframing exercise. You should be very careful about how you approach commenting negatively on anything in the story that appears in the tags list, but you can make it a compliment and good feedback if you have the right perspective. See the difference with these two approaches:
I kind of think frottage is disgusting, but I liked it in this story.
❌ Nope! You just told the author you think their kink is disgusting. That's like telling your poor aunt who is just trying to keep you warm this winter that she has awful taste in knitwear. Try again.
Frottage normally isn't my kink, but I love your other stories with this pairing, so I decided to give it a try, and I'm SOOOOO GLAD that I did! This story was 🔥🔥🔥
✔️ "This normally isn't my thing, but you made me expand my horizons!" Authors love to hear that. That's like telling your aunt, "I never thought this color looked good on me, but I look so cute in this sweater! I'm so glad you helped me step outside my comfort zone, because I'm the better for it."
thank u, next
The last thing I want to address is this new trend I've seen in commenting lately: placing an order. If your mom surprises you with new headphones, you don't respond with, "I wanted the white ones 🙁," or, "You should get me a new phone, too." It's easy to see why that isn't appropriate in a gifting situation, and it's also not appropriate when commenting on fanfiction.
Let's do some examples:
This fic was soooo cute, but it would have been a million times better if Character A had been with Character C instead of Character B.
❌ There are a few things going on here. Number one, you're telling your mom you wanted the white headphones, not the ones she actually bought you. You're also disparaging the A/B pairing that the author chose to write about, and as we discussed, we can assume that the author wrote the pairing because they liked it. Even if it's not their favorite and/or they also write A/C, they made a choice for this story to be A/B, and the comments section of a fic is not the place to question choices the author made in their own work.
You should write a story where Character Z who is not even in this story does [thing that is vaguely referenced in the B plot].
❌ "You should get me a new phone, too."
I want a sequel. 😞
❌ "Thank you, next!"
You can reframe this kind of sentiment if you are careful about it, and it's not all you say.
I really loved this story. I would be so interested to see these ideas explored further if you ever decide to write more in this universe.
✔️ Not "gimme." Not "more." This is, "If you build it, I will come." It is a HUGE difference.
You already know how to do this. You know how to graciously accept a gift; just use that same etiquette, and boom! Now you know how to fearlessly write a comment to fic you read. You're doing amazing. Go forth and comment.
#fandom#fanfiction#commenting#fanfiction etiquette#emily post please help me express my feelings about this yaoi
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You asked for some smut suggestions for Logan, and I got one:
So like…I mean…Logan might be on the short side, but he’s still big! I mean, like,,,those hands 🫣 It would be nice to see a fic to do with Logan and a little manhandling. but not like in a BDSM way, more like a “I am very strong, and here’s a little reminder” type way. Might seem kinda silly but I’d enjoy a fic like that lol.
NSFW!Wolverine/AFAB!Reader Ask and you shall receive!! I've spent like the last four days working on this and atp I can't looks at it anymore lol. I'm not super happy with how the beginning is written, but I still think it's alright enough to post lol. It's a lot more tell than show compared to most of my other fics, and I was halfway tempted to reformat it into headcannons, but I didn't feel like it. Anyway, hope you like the way I included the manhandling lol! Hope it turned out okay :) Also, might or might not be tall logan. I'll leave it up to yall to assume, I'm just short af so there's not a single person in marvel who wouldn't have to look down at me lmao.
Edit:FUCK I FORGOT THE READ MORE! TWs: MDNI!!!!!! Seriously, you will be blocked. Masterbation, lil bit of a scent kink. Sexual frustration. Manhandling. Jealous Logan. Creampie. Logan calls you "sunshine" and pretty and shit. I'll add more if I can think of any.
You had a problem. You’ve had a problem. And it really didn’t seem like it was getting any better. It didn’t help the fact that it was incredibly embarrassing, either.
You couldn’t get off. It’s not like you ever struggled with it before, but lately, it felt like you were fighting a losing battle. At first, you didn’t realize why. Maybe it was because you moved into the X-Mansion. Nerves because you’re living somewhere new, right? So you change it up a little. You got comfortable, had a glass of wine or two, and picked up a raunchy book. Yet every time you slipped your hand between your thighs… Running circles around your own clit, trying your best to finger yourself to your finish, you just could never quite hit that peak. It was safe to say you were beyond frustrated.
Lucky for you, most people didn’t notice. You try your best not to be too uptight or mean, but there are just some things that you can’t quite hide from certain people.
Logan’s noticed that something is up with you. You can tell he has, seeing the looks on his face, nose scrunched up in a way he’s catching into something that he just can't quite place. You’re assuming it’s your own pheromones, but hey, as long as he doesn’t realize what it is you’ll be fine, right?
Maybe not.
Eventually, you finally realized why you were having so much trouble getting off. All it took was one training session with Wolverine, and you knew immediately. You weren’t sparring or anything like that, hell, you knew before you even hit the danger room floor. Logan was in a bit of a mood today, although not as grumpy as he can be- and he’s trying to be patient with you. You can tell. But you’re having trouble focusing today- and you have been for a while. He can tell you’re not at 100% just by the way you hold yourself, and spends about 5 minutes watching as you struggle to reset the Danger room panel before he’s finally fed up with it.
“Jesus fuck. Here, let me do it.” Logan grabs you by the waist, pulling you to his chest with one arm as the other reaches around you to reset the panel. It’s not like you didn’t find him attractive before, but the close contact? The smell of his aftershave and the sound of his voice growling in your ear?
oh.
Oh.
You were having trouble getting off because you had a thing for Logan.
You’re practically stunned when he pulls away, standing there with a flushed face and something rather embarrassing pooling in your underwear for the first time in a while. You had to quickly excuse yourself before you ran the risk of him catching onto anything coming from you. He’s a little confused for a second, but you can hear the sound of his low chuckle as you scramble away.
First thing you do? Go to the store.
It's not a random errand. At least, not entirely. You had meant to go out with Storm to grocery shop later this afternoon, but you told her you could really use some time out of the house by yourself, which she completely understood. You had the list and everything, it was only a coincidence that you passed by the cologne section on your way to pick up some toothpaste. The sight made you stop for a minute, the gears grinding in your skull. You spent just a few minutes curiously sampling the bottles until you found one that smelled a bit familiar… Should you? No, that's a bit strange. But really, what was the harm, right? I mean, who would know?
So you bought it. You felt a bit embarrassed afterward, knowing what you bought it for, and ended up letting it sit in the drawer of your side table for a good while. Until another desperate attempt at fucking your own brains out, that is.
You were sweaty and uncomfortable in your bed, sleep shirt sticking to your skin as you struggled to pump your fingers in and out of your tight cunt. It’s been a while, and it shows. You couldn’t even get your favorite dildo to fit inside of you, only adding to your frustration. Touching your clit hardly helped much, leaving you as unsatisfied as ever. Eventually, you give up, lying there as you sigh to yourself. You turn over in your bed in a huff, halfway temped scream your lungs out into the pillow you bury your face in. Instead, you let out something that sounds more like a whisper than a yell, letting the air in your lungs deflate as you let your feelings out. You roll over onto your side when you’re done, halfway tempted to be done with it entirely and go back to bed when you catch sight of the nightstand drawer, slightly ajar. The amber bottle of liquid stares right at you.
You open the drawer some more, picking up the bottle and looking at it as you wonder if you’re actually going to do this. But you’re ridiculously horny, and tired, and you know you’re gonna have trouble falling asleep in the state you’re in- so you end up spraying the smallest amount on your pillow.
It’s…nice. The pillow is warm from where you had been laying on it, and despite how strong men’s cologne could be, this one isn’t quite so striking. At least, not in the amount that you used. You relax back into your bed, pressing your face into the pillow and laying there for a moment. You start thinking about Logan… His calloused hands running across your skin. How his lips and tongue would feel against your own, trailing down your body to your breast. Your hand trails down to your clit as you imagine it as his own. You imagine him behind you, pressing you to the bed as he growls into your ear. You think about what his happy trail would feel like against you. What his cock would look like, feel like, pressing into you. Your legs twitch and shake as you see stars underneath your eyelids, the scent of Logan hitting all the right parts in your head and going straight to your cunt.
Holy shit.
Your orgasm lasts what feels like forever. Your legs are still shaking as you whimper from oversensitivity and pull your hand away, panting as you try to catch your breath. You haven’t cum that hard since… ever. Maybe the cologne was worth it, after all.
You felt really good the morning after. You found yourself humming in the shower, more energized at breakfast and morning drills. No one had said anything, but you knew there were a few who were relieved to see you back to your usual self. If anything, the only person you noticed acting very differently around you was Logan. He was more tense than normal. He scowled a lot, spending less time in your presence. You’d strike up a conversation that would only last a few minutes before he would make an excuse and leave. It made you a little disappointed. But you knew him and knew he had good and bad days, so you brushed it off at first. But a week, two weeks- almost a month went by, and still no change. You felt scorned almost, silently rejected by the guy you had finally realized you were practically in love with, and to be honest, the only man who could get you off just by thinking about him- and boy, did you get off while thinking about him.
You’ve almost resigned yourself to the fact that Logan wasn’t interested when he corners you one morning. He’s leaning up against the wall of the hallway, waiting for you when you step out of your room. It makes you jump a little, closing your door quickly behind you, knowing damn well you hadn’t washed your sheets after fucking yourself to the moon and back last night and fully not wanting the smell to hit his nose. All Logan does is narrow his eyes. Shit.
“Who is he.” He asks you. The question completely derails your train of thought. And you furrow your brow, confused. What was that about?
“Who is he? Your guy?” He asks again, but it does little to clear up your confusion. You’re halfway wondering if he’s being serious at this point, stepping away from your door as you cross your arms.
“What?” You ask. Logan huffs when you respond to him, cocking his head at you in a way that's more sarcastic than curious. The way he’s looking at you is doing some things that you don’t think you’d like to admit, eyes narrow and scrutinizing as you struggle to keep eye contact with him.
“What do you mean? What guy?” You repeat back to him, starting to get a little frustrated. He snorts, rolling his eyes as his scowl lingers. He steps closer, looking down at you from less than a foot away with that angry stare.
“Don’t play stupid with me, sunshine. I can smell him on you.” You ignore the way the nickname makes you shiver a little bit, too busy shrinking into yourself when you process the extent of his words. Smell. He could smell someone on you. Something. Oh god, this was embarrassing.
“Oh! That- It’s not what you're thinking!” You say, face flushed red. You’re flustered beyond belief, doing your best to convince him to leave it be, and it’s not going so well for you.
“Sure it’s not.” Logan huffs. He starts to take steps forward, closing in on your personal space.
“It’s not. I can promise you that.” You’re anxiously fiddling with your fingers now, taking a step back for every step he takes. He looked predatory, unlike any time you’ve seen him before. You haven’t even seen him like this in the danger room, even less so on the battlefield.
“Just tell me who he is.” Logan is adamant about it, his scowl beginning to turn into a frown. Your back hits your door, kickstarting your heart in surprise. You hadn’t realized he had backed you up so far.
“I can’t!” You say, in the beginning stages of becoming absolutely exasperated, and already incredibly embarrassed.
“Why not!?” Logan Snaps, stopping just inches away from you. You cover your heated face, pressing your palms into your eyes until you see shapes, wanting nothing more than to curl up and die right then and there.
“Would you just leave it!” You shout, but Logan’s having none of it.
“No, I won't!” Logan grabs your wrists and moves them away from your face, holding them in front of your chest with a grip lighter than you might have thought. You groan in utter frustration and mortification, looking him dead in the eyes as your angry mouth starts speaking before your reasonable brain can fully catch up.
“Jesus Christ Logan! Do you expect me to just whip out the silicone and show you?!” Your eyes widen as soon as you say it, slamming your mouth shut as you finally catch up with yourself. Logan is staring at you in absolute shock, jaw almost slack at the confession.
“...What?” He asks, slowly. You wince, looking off to the side before deciding it's a bit too late to get the cat back into the bag.
“Its… Cologne. What you’re smelling. I use it to uh, help me…” You make a sort of gesture with your head, praying that you won’t actually have to spell it out for him. He’s still in shock as he looks at you, hands frozen with his fingers wrapped around your wrists. He clears his throat when he comes to, an unreadable expression on his face as he slowly steps forward again, close enough to press his forehead against your own as he presses you against your door.
“You’re that pent up, you need cologne to help you get off?” He asks, and you don’t know what to say, cat catching your tongue as he leans forward. The side of his face brushes against your cheek as he leans down a little, the action making your skin prickle. One of his hands releases a wrist to slide up and across the back of your neck, tilting your head to the side as he takes a big sniff of your skin. He’s practically nuzzling you, angling his head so that he can smell the scent on the back of your head where you rest against your pillow at night.
He’d noticed it before, at night when most of his anger had worn off, sometime after he started to pick up the scent on you. The undertones, the top notes. But now with you this close, he can tell that it wasn’t another man he was smelling. No. It was just you. Your scent being drowned out by the smell of something that he could finally tell smelled rather suspiciously like his very own aftershave.
“...Don’t tell me that you wanted it to smell like me.” He asks after a moment. You almost flinch at the sound of his deep rumble, turning your red face away from him. You swallow, feeling like you are absolutely burning up as you nod- right as Logan catches the unmistakable scent of arousal.
“Fuck”
You’re sure the sound was more animal than man as he cups your cheek rather aggressively, pressing his lips against your own in a rather desperate kiss. It takes you a second to return it, eyes wide as you process just what was happening. It didn't take long for you to melt into his desperate kisses though, every nip and brush of his teeth just like you imagined it would be. He presses his knee in between your thighs, finally releasing your other wrist to grab ahold of your hip instead. You accidentally let out a whine when he grinds your hips against him, your heart beating so fast you were sure it was going to explode. He curses again at the sound, both hands sliding around you to lift you against the door.
You practically squeak in surprise, the noise caught by Logan’s mouth on your own one more time before he trails down to your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. You gasp as he presses against you, his hips beginning to grind against your own. You’re having a hard time thinking, biting your lip as you do your best to stifle your sounds.
“Logan-ah, can we… head inside, please?” He only grunts in response, shifting your weight as you both begin to fumble for the doorknob. He gets it before you do, hardly stumbling as the door behind you swings open. He’s kissing you again before the door is even closed, kicking it behind him. As preoccupied as you are, you at least have the common sense to reach over and try to lock the door before he carries you over to the bed.
He plops you down onto the mattress before he crawls over you, eyes half-lidded and just as lustful as your own. He pushes you down as you try to sit up. His breathing a little hard, pupils dilated to a size you had never seen.
“Now I know why you closed the door so fast,” Logan smirks, having picked up the lingering scent of your sex on the sheets right away. You open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off. His tongue snakes into your mouth, and you find that you can’t really remember what you were going to say anyway. He kisses you again and again, distracting you as he reaches above your head. He pulls away when he has the pillow in hand, and you know just by the look on his face that he knows exactly what he is holding.
“Hate to break it to you, but this doesn’t exactly compare to the real thing.” He snarks. It makes you laugh, and for the first time in a while, you see a genuine smile spread across his face.
“Yeah.” You respond, taking the pillow from his hands and tossing it to a far-off corner. “I know.” You could revel in his smile for as long as he’d let you. Logan’s kisses start off sweeter this time, at least for a moment they did. They begin to become more and more rough as hands start to wander and clothes start to come off. His shirt is first to go, your hands running up and down the hair that spans his torso. Logan is quick to remove your shirt and bra in one go, one very small step away from cutting off your clothes entirely. He gives himself a minute to appreciate your breasts, pinching and teasing you by sliding a hand up the middle of your sternum, the back of his hand brushing the side of a tit as he watches you squirm underneath him, arching your back to push your chest out, practically begging him to finally touch you.
“Patience is a virtue, Sunshine.” Logan says, causing you to scoff. You glare at him a little and all it does is make him chuckle a bit.
“Don’t be mean.” You whine. He laughs a bit harder as he finally lowers himself to your chest. He keeps his eyes locked on your own as he brushes the blunt ends of his teeth across the soft skin, but he’s never been the most patient man. It doesn't take him long to give in to you, sucking on each breast individually, massaging the soft skin of the opposite as he does so.
“Careful.” He growls when your own hands begin to wander, touching him over the fabric of his jeans. He releases your nipple with a pop, bearing his teeth as he presses his face back into your neck. You don't pay much mind to that, rather enjoying the grunts and sounds he makes as you slowly stroke his covered hardness from base to tip. You can't imagine how restrained he must be feeling. You can’t help but smirk a little as your hands drift up and down, before oh So slowly unbuckling his belt. Logan is agitated, practically bucking his hips into your hands to get you to just get over with it.
“Patience is a virtue.” You quote, only earning a restraining hold on your hands once again.
“Fuck that.” Logan growls. He holds you by your wrists, pushing them above your head as he uses his free hand to remove his belt and frantically unbuckle his pants. You'd be complaining if it weren't for the view of his straining cock, slapping against his abdomen as he pulls his pants down.
You don't get to stare for too long before he flips you on your stomach like you weigh nothing. He lets your wrists go to pull down your shorts and underwear, a sticky string of your slick thinning as he pulls the items down.
“Fuck. You're this wet from just that?” Logan asks you, taking two fingers and sliding them through your lips from behind, spreading his fingers to let himself see the mess you've made of yourself already.
“...shut up.” You mumble, more focused on the feeling of those very same fingers sliding back and forth across your cunt, the tips just barely brushing against your clit every time. Logan chuckles, sliding one hand under your lower stomach to lift your hips with ease. Your hips buck as he slides a thick finger inside of you without warning, slowly sinking down to his knuckle with ease.
“Might not even need foreplay at this rate.” Logan rumbles behind you, eyes set squarely on the sight of your pretty pussy spread wide open for him. You can only moan in response as he pulls it back out again, plunging a second finger into you this time. Your hands clutch the sheets as Logan begins to finger fuck you to his content, curling those thick digits to hit that one spot juuust right. You try not to buck or squirm too bad, halfway wondering if this is all just some wet dream.
“Logan-” You call out for him through your moans. He only hums in reply, preoccupied at the moment.
“I- god- I need your cock, please.” You're not sure if it was the phrase or the begging, but it makes Logan groan. You feel embarrassingly empty as he pulls his fingers out. You hear the sound of him stroking his hard cock with your slick, groaning and humming to himself before he picks you up. He leans over you, adjusting to you your hands and knees as you finally feel that thick, thick cock grinding against you. You gasp at the way it feels, feeling Logan smirk against your back.
“Having second thoughts?” The tone of his voice is teasing, but you know there's more than that behind the words. You vehemently shake your head, grinding back against him a little as you protest. Logan swears under his breath, holding onto your hips to keep them still as he sits up.
Both of you groan each time the head of his cock catches on your clit, Logan thrusting through your lips again and again as he lubes himself with the wetness you provide for him. You gasp when his head catches on your slot, notching just right.
Logan pushes into you so slowly, and you feel like he's thicker than you ever imagined he would be. You're impatient, desperate. You push back onto him in an attempt to take him in more, but his hands on your hips stop you.
“Believe me sweetheart, you don't want that yet.” Logan tells you, straining himself with how tight you feel around him. He soothingly rubs his thumbs against your skin, pressing into you until you have him completely, balls deep inside you.
“Please, please. Logan, Please, I need you to move.” Your begging starts to sound like nonsense to your own ears, but it makes Logan gasp all the same, his cock twitching from where it's buried inside of you. You practically cry in relief when he finally begins to thrust Inside of you.
His hip smack against your ass with every thrust, the sound of the slap mixed with the sounds of your love and the headboard hitting the wall a lewd and filthy symphony. Even better than your own moans were Logan's himself. Each and every groan and growl above you gave you a whole new array of things to imagine while fucking yourself- if you ever had to do so again.
You whine and whimper with every strong thrust, Logan slow and forceful with every movement. It felt like he wanted your insides to memorize exactly how his cock feels inside of you, and you doubt you'd ever mind it. He filled you perfectly, hitting every sweet spot inside of you.
Your arms are shaking. Struggling to hold yourself up with each and every rock of the bed. You barely start to buckle when He catches hold of you, an arm snacking under your chest and pulling you towards him. His hand spans your collarbone as he holds your back against his chest, holding you up as he continues to fuck you like no one before. You're closing in on that sweet release when his hips stutter a moment. His teeth dig into your shoulder with a sharp bite, holding you there close to him without breaking the skin.
“Are… are you -ah- close?” You ask. Logan only responds with a short and simple - “Fuck!” - before he pulls out of you.
You don't have time to whine about the emptiness before he's flipping you around, kissing you again as he pushes your back to the bed rather aggressively. He's quick to sling your legs over his arms, folding you in half as he sides fully into you in a single thrust. He's hitting you so much deeper in this position, chest pressed against your own as his thrusts continue to stutter.
Logan kisses you again, a bit differently than the last ones have been. These kisses are tender, sweet. A stark difference between his needy, frantic thrusts. There's a line of spit between you two as he pulls away, half-lidded eyes meeting your own. You’re closing in on your peak, and you can tell he is too. The pleasure is too much for you to handle at once, and you can't help but squeeze your eyes shut.
“Look at me.” Logan grabs a hold of your chin, your eyes flying open as he thumbs at your lip and holds your head still. “Don't look away.” His hips stutter some more, the both of you groaning as you clench around him, desperately trying to keep your eyes open as you finally cum around his cock. The fluttering of your walls are more than enough to send Logan over the edge, his cum warming your insides in thick spurts. Logan buries his face into your neck, groaning as you ride out both of your orgasms.
The two of you lay there for a moment, trying to catch your breath. Logan lets go of your sore legs, massaging your thighs as he presses sweet, comforting kisses to your cheek and temple. His hands wander up and down your sides, doing his best to soothe your aches without you even having to ask. -not that he would ever admit to having a soft side. Who would believe you if you told them that The Wolverine was a cuddler after sex anyway?
“Why didn't you just tell me?” You ask after a long moment. Logan hums, his Face tucked into the crook of your neck.
“Tell you what?”
“That you were jealous.” Logan only snorts at that, playfully pinching your side.
“Jealous of what? Your cologne?” He returns. You slap him on the shoulder as he chuckles at you, unable to stop the playful smile on your face.
“You mean the cologne that you thought was a whole-ass guy?” Logan stops at that, instead choosing to cover your mouth with his palm as he tucks his head closer.
“You're a lot prettier when you're quiet. You know that?”
#Prepare yourselves this one is a biggin#x men#x men comics#x men headcannons#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan drabble#logan howlett#wolverine x men#wolverine smut#x men wolverine#wolverine x reader#smut#marvel smut#marvel fanfiction#marvel reader insert#x men reader#x men smut#marvel#deadpool and wolverine
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the not-so-good parts about dating them
a/n: I am nothing if not a red flag lover
includes: midoriya, todokori, bakugo, shinsou, kirishima, kaminari, iida, hawks, aizawa
Midoriya -
Midoriya's priority list is '1. everyone' so, sometimes, it's difficult to feel special in his eyes. It's not that he doesn't see you as a top priority, he just often lets himself get caught up with other people and dealing with their problems so you don't get his undivided attention all that often. He doesn't mean to do it at all, but he has missed dates before because he was staying late at work to help his students or got stuck helping out a friend.
Bakugo -
🤨 Aside from his obvious anger issues, Bakugo often struggles to see you as a team and not just individuals. Whenever you argue, he often sees it as a 'me vs you' and not a 'us vs the problem', and he sometimes makes big decisions without talking to you first. He feels like he has to be better than you because he needs to be a provider and a protector, so he tackles issues on his own instead of talking to you and working things through as a team.
Todoroki -
Todokori has no reference to what a 'healthy' relationship looks like, and it terrifies him. All he knows is what, or who, he doesn't want to end up like, and it stops him from taking initiative in your relationship because he's scared of doing the wrong thing. He knows he's not like his father, but he still worries that he's going to end up like him anyway, as if it's fated. Because of this, things move incredibly slowly, and it can be hard to tell that he does love you since he doesn't often make moves or use words to show you. He knows he wants, and needs, to improve though, he just needs some guidance.
Kaminari -
Kaminari struggles with self-sabotage in your relationship - he convinces himself that he's not good enough for you or that he's making your life worse by being with you, and can push you away, cancel dates late minute or act like he doesn't need you. These actions never last long before he snaps out of it, and you're well aware by now of what's going on in his head when he starts acting like this, but he's always convinced he's going to fuck this up. And sometimes, he believes it so much that he does. The guilt eats away at him daily.
Kirishima -
(Absolutely nothing) Kirishima hates showing you when he's feeling down, weak, or 'unmanly'. He bottles up a lot of his negative emotions and thoughts away from you and they gnaw away at him. Its not that he feels like he can't talk to you, in fact sometimes he lets things slip because he feels so comfortable around you, but quickly tries to put a positive spin on his words so that you don't worry. It's more that he feels he shouldn't, and that you have enough things to deal with as it is. He wants to be a safe space for you, so dealing with his emotions is out of the question. He never blows up at you because things get too far though, you just wish he could rely on you more.
Iida -
For the first while in your relationship, it almost felt like you lost your friendship with Iida. The lines between being friends and being a partner were extremely defined to Iida for some time, and he felt that every interaction between the two of you had to be so formally-relationshipy - this meant things such as only spending time with you on pre-scheduled dates, affection felt like ticking boxes on what was 'meant' to come next in a relationship, or not letting you see his deeper, darker times. Things do get better after some time and conversations, but it kinda felt like the first year of your relationship didn't really count.
Shinsou -
Shinsou feels like being with you is the most selfish act someone has ever committed. Sometimes he even thinks that, somehow in a way he doesn't know, he's forcing you to be with him. He feels like you can do so much better than him, but he loves you too much to let you go (not that you would anyway). He thinks that he doesnt treat you as well as you deserve and so he goes overboard to 'make things up to you', when in reality he's the most caring, selfless person you've met. He often brings up the idea of you finding someone else, or that you can cheat on him and he'll stay if that makes you happy, and it breaks your heart every time.
Aizawa -
Aizawa feels like everyone he truly lets in, he has lost, and he is terrified that's going to happen to you. So, he tries to keep his feelings and thoughts for you as surface-level as possible. The problem is that he's terrible at doing that - he has such a big heart and he wants you in every way imaginable, which creates a lot of inner conflict for him. One minute he's telling you everything weighing on his mind and letting himself fall deeper into you, and the next he's keeping you at arms length. He's scared to admit that he relies on you or that he needs you, but he does it anyway and it tears him apart inside.
Hawks -
He lies to you more times that he would like to admit. Well, it's more that he's very good about skirting around a question or situation rather than telling you the truth. There's some things in his life, his past, or his thoughts that he feels are best not being part of your life, and so he will tell you little lies and make adjustments to the truth to fit a narrative that he prefers. He wants to protect you from any negativity or darkness that he can - he knows what going through that feels like and he does not want you to have to feel that too, but mostly, and most selfishly, he's terrified of you thinking he's a bad person because of some actions he's had to take. It can be almost impossible to tell when he's lying or telling the truth because he's extremely open and upfront with other topics.
#mha#my hero academia#izuku midoriya#midoriya x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugo x reader#shouto todoroki#todoroki x reader#hawks#hawks x reader#aizawa shouta#aizawa x reader#kirishima eijirou#kirishima x reader#denki kaminari#kaminari x reader#tenya iida#iida x reader#hitoshi shinsou#shinso hitoshi#shinsou x reader#mha imagine#mha headcanons
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How to explain to people I care for how special they are to me without being creepy 😔
#miranda talking shit#Like dude... If youre one of the 3 people i want to be bothered by... Youre so fucking special#If youre one of the 3 people i can hold eye contact with for more than two seconds per conversation youre so amazing#If youre one of the 2 people i can talk to for hours without feeling social/mental fatigue... Youre top tier#Like i likr a lot of people but there are so few who i can say do not tire me or i am very truly comfortable with#And i wish i could make them understand how big of a deal it is for me... For me that is so special. I dont have many people like that#I have people i can allow to bother me and will be okay with it but only a couple i genuinely want them to bother me#Text me call me talk to me whenever i love you and am not ever bothered by you and i always have time for you#Fabian is definitely one and i think he doesnt get it bc we have gone through many periods of weeks where we talk daily#Sometimes we dont for weeks at all. But hes one of the rare people i can feel ... Im not fatigued by.#I love many people but most will take different amounts of social energy from me. Some more than others so i really have to be in the right#Place to be able to handle them. So when i find the people who i dont get that with who i can just be around and talk with without feeling#The fatigue im... I wish i could explain how truly special they are to me. Everyone and everything tire me but you#And oliver is one out of 3 people (my mom being one and Linnéa friend since we were 13 is another) who i can look in the eyes#For many times for long periods and i dont feel .. Uneasy. Like thats actually amazing. The privilege and/or superpower you have is huge#Idk what it is with oliver. Idk i know i like him but the fact im so comfortable is wild. Usually around people i have a crush on i am shy#Blushing and looking away. With him im like 👀 hey... Yea . I dont mind him seeing me and i hate being seen by everyone#Maybe its bc hes so ... Unbothered? I feel not judged. I feel like he can see me and not judge and thats sadly shocking for me
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Astro notes.
random astrology things I’ve noticed.
don’t try to start an argument with a virgo mars!!!! these individuals never really care enough to argue UNLESS you’re saying something that they know it’s wrong. they won’t let you get away with it. they will explain you in detail why you’re wrong in a passive aggressive way. making you feel really dumb lol they love being right
mercury in pisces. most find it hard to express through words to say exactly how they feel so instead they do it through music, songs,, art, sketches, some hand-made gifts. any kind of act of love. and they love those kind of things too. they find it more meaningful.
leo risings usually have a good sense of style. they want to look nice, wear nice clothes, nice jewelry. they tend to be super shy and quiet too, they have a hard time opening up to people. which is weird bc they have alot of charisma and people usually gravitate towards them, mostly because they’re fun to be around. but sometimes they care too much about what people think of them and that can stop them from being themselves.
moon in capricorn are so hard on themselves. whenever I think of this placement, it reminds me of that knot on your throat when you’re trying so hard not to cry. just holding back the tears. that’s them. all the time. and it’s not just tears they’re holding back, it’s also the words they never say when they’re really upset, completely avoiding any kind of interaction. or the good news they don’t ever share because they’re too afraid it’ll go away. or just anything that they keep to themselves bc they don’t want to bother anyone else. They’re also really intuitive!!! I feel like Capricorn is not known to be intuitive like that but it’s the fact that they can read people very well, they see right through people and they’re always ready for what’s going to come next. this placement can definitely make someone much quieter than usual, no matter the sun sign.
libra risings are extremely social and likable!!! this people love the attention and you definitely notice them from afar. they’re so good at fitting in. they have such grace to them, which is such a Libra thing but having this sign as your rising, it’s the way you come across to other people. They really try to stay out of drama and usually the ones to be cool with everything and everyone. they adapt very easily to their environment which can be good or bad. very easily influenced. they also like aesthetics a lot. visuals mean a lot to them. they want to make sure they look good at all times and they’re big on words meaning they like compliments a lottt!!! they look better with neutral and pastel colors. physically they tend to have longer faces and a fuller bottom lip from what I noticed, usually leaner body type. even if they’re not super fit, they have a good body distribution.
gemini risings just like any other air sign, also love to interact with people (sometimes) but they tend to be more reserved. they only open up once they comfortable then they don’t ever stop talking lol they’re super bubbly and curious. and can often be super observant. you can kinda know they don’t like you if they don’t talk you a lot lol because they truly loveee to talk. it’s a little difficult to spot them right away because they tend to blend in with other people but once they open up, you can see the their Gemini coming out. they tend to have small facial features, they can even be shorter in height. and there’s a more reserved look to them, kinda like virgo. but unlike virgo risings, gemini risings look somewhat more approachable and relaxed.
mars in pisces easily catches feelings because they won’t ever stop thinking about that one person. Most of the time they don’t even know the person that well but it’s just how they feel. And they tend to have a very sweet approach to love, lots of emotions, kinda like not being able to fck around with other people once they’re in love. They also feel like they have to vocalize it to get over it. They can’t really move on easily, no matter how fucked up the situation is.
mercury in any fire sign (leo/aries/sagittarius) are always having to tell people it’s just a jokeeee lol they tend to be very direct and their type of humor is usually so stupid, it sounds like their making fun of everyone but it’s also usually their love language. they love when people match their energy, they feel free to say anything and they lovee ittt!! another thing is If they don’t fck with you, they won’t even bother to talk to you, they might even talk sht about you or make little comments like that, they need to make it lol
moon in pisces struggles a lot to open up. it’s such a weird thing because they wear their heart in their sleeve so everyone knows they’re not doing well, people notice there’s something off, you can even see it in their face and eyes, but a moon in pisces will never be able to fully talk about it. it’s almost like talking about it makes it real and they don’t want any negative feelings. We all know they live in their own dream world, where it’s safe and peaceful and happy. and it’s all good until reality hits. And they hate it. they want to crawl back in bed, fall asleep for days. listen to some loud music and just close their eyes. They need to shut their minds off so it’s very common for them to develop escape mechanisms. can be really bad habits that make them feel so good. they really need to keep their mind clear and out of any negativity because everything they think about too much becomes real. a lot of popular music artists atm have this placement and you can kinda see how well they blend in with whatever is going on. you can see their genuine interests and opinions in their songs and performances.
moon in the 5th house ppl are creative!!! whatever their hobby is, they make sure it’s done right and they’re usually so good at it. their delivery it’s amazing. they express how they feel in such a dramatic way.
venus in aquarius is an interesting placement. it reminds me a lot of venus in virgo and I do think they have a lot of things in common but I still think venus in aquarius is more complex than that. They need reassurance in any way possible because it makes them feel safe but they are too afraid to committing to someone and having to emotionally depend on someone. And it’s not that they’re disloyal, if anything they’re one of the most loyal placements. they love imperfections, they love the real and raw. they understand there’s more to people and they accept people. but they’re afraid of it. they don’t think someone will be able to love their imperfections, so as soon as they start feeling too much, they take a couple steps back. they suddenly need some space. or at least that’s what they think they need. they don’t like to detach but they do it when they feel unsafe or unloved. and it’s always something that they can’t even understand themselves.
#virgo mars#mars in pisces#pisces mars#mercury in pisces#virgo rising#libra rising#leo rising#moon in capricorn#capricorn moon#gemini rising#moon in pisces#pisces moon#mercury in leo#mercury in aries#mercury in sagittarius#moon in 5th house#venus in aquarius#aquarius venus#mars in virgo#astrology notes#astrologia#zodiac signs#astrology#leo#pisces#virgo#libra#gemini#aries#sagittarius
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Cool With You ft Danielle.
length: 12.8k words✦
Danielle & Male Reader
genres: cheesy/bit cringe lmao (i’m so sorry, it was necessary for the plot, I promise), fluffy, oral sex, hard sex, facetime sex, creampie, blowjob, anal
✦✧✦✧✦✧
"Girls, I think you should at least play the game if we're going to do this," Hanni said, sitting on the couch, "I mean, Riot hired us for this, and I think it would be appropriate."
Danielle immediately turned to look at Hanni, not wanting to say anything yet as she was turning the idea over in her head. Being from Australia she never grew up with that game, but she knew perfectly well that there in Korea it was a national phenomenon, and that they even had their own exclusive server. Part of this reputation around the video game was due to Faker, a player that anyone under 30 years old knew either by name or by sight. She wasn't exactly a fan of multiplayer video games, or even video games in general since she was an outdoors girl, so she kept quiet at first.
"And where are we supposed to do that?" Minji asked, eating some Pringles, "there are only two computers at home."
"Oh come on, we can ask for three more!" Hanni exclaimed, "I think we deserve it, don't we?"
"Well, I'll see what I can do," Minji sighed, and then looked at the others, "are you all in?"
"I wouldn't mind," Kitten said, shrugging.
"Yeah! It'll be fun!" Big Baby agreed, "what do you say, Dani?" They all looked at her.
"Ugh, do I really have to?" Danielle asked, not very attracted to the idea but not completely against it either. She liked spending time with her unnies, no matter what way.
"Oh come on! Pleeeaaaase!" Hanni pleaded with her hands clasped in request, "I promise you'll like it!" Dani made a small silence, looking at all of them.
"My god, fine!" she finally accepted, "but I demand your patience with me, okay? I can count on one hand the number of times I have touched a computer in my life."
"Yaaaaay!" Hanni clapped excitedly, "don't worry, it's very easy!"
4 days later. NewJeans girls already recorded Gods.
"Alright girls, I'll go to the top lane," Hanni said in front of the computer. All the others were sitting on their own, one next to the other, "Minji, you should go jungle, it's a selfish and arrogant role, just like you!"
"Then it's perfect, yes," Minji nodded.
"Big Baby, you go to the mid lane, there are champions that could be a lot of fun for you, and you would be a fundamental piece," Hanni told her, and she nodded.
"As for you two," Hanni looked at Dani and Kitten, "you are literally the perfect duo, I don't really know who should go ADC or who should go support, discuss it between yourselves."
"Well, support sounds like the easiest," Dani said, looking at Kitten, who always seemed indifferent to anything.
"Does that mean I'm in charge?" she asked, looking at the screen.
"I don't want to be, so yeah," Dani shrugged, and at that moment Hanni hit the find match button.
As was common for people new to League of Legends, Dani was completely overwhelmed and stressed by the huge amount of things that the game's tutorial never explains to you. Lots of different champions, runes, objectives, farming, crucial areas of the map, etc. Her head was hurting, but after a few games she started to feel more comfortable with her role, and she was especially prone to playing Leona.
At first, Dani only accepted the proposal because she did not like to contradict and argue over something like that. In fact, she considered Hanni's idea somewhat unnecessary and would not be at all transcendental in her life. But the unthinkable happened for her. She began to enjoy the game, and even played it during her free time. She usually always did it with Kitten, but many times she also did it alone. The most attractive thing for her was the anonymity that the game provided her, there no one treated her differently because of who she was, many insulted her, others treated her disrespectfully, and despite not being pleasant, she liked that, it was like a way to put her feet on the ground while having fun.
Months had passed since they recorded Gods, and the group continued on their journey of activities here and there, always busy and always in the public eye, but Dani never stopped playing, she even dedicated herself to watching the start of the Worlds, and especially rooting for T1 and the Korean teams.
When the final phase of the Worlds was approaching and the girls were preparing for their stage during the opening ceremony, they were informed that the day before there would be an event where celebrities and fans were going to be able to have a kind of meet & greet with fun activities involved. It was explained to them that one of the activities consisted of playing games with mixed teams of celebrities and idols, and they all immediately accepted the idea.
--------------------------------------------
You almost lost your shit when you got that damn email. You were jumping around like an idiot all over your room, dancing to the rhythm of a goofy ass techno song that just happened to be playing on your Spotify. You had won the fucking sweepstake to play in the celebrity matches, and there was no way you were going to take it in at that moment.
When your euphoria passed you sat down in your desk chair and sank into the seat as you stared at the email open on the screen, turning it over and over in your head since you still couldn't believe it. The list of celebrities was quite extensive, and it wasn't just Korean artists, there were also Western artists like Tobi Lou or Cal Scruby, but you only had one group in your mind, NewJeans, and you couldn't do anything but hope for play with any of them.
The big day finally arrived, and you were thankful that your T1 jersey with Gumayusi's name on it arrived just in time. You checked your appearance in the bathroom mirror, not wanting to get too meticulous so as not to go to the event with worries on your mind. Being a casual perfume enjoyer you had a few options to choose from, but you opted for something mild, Ralph Lauren's Polo Blue, always good for any time of year and always useful for conveying good vibes. Once you were ready, you left the house.
The excitement and nerves made you arrive at the place much earlier than planned, but luckily you were able to take advantage of this. You walked around the arena calmly, admiring each cosplay and asking for photos with all your favorites. You also visited every possible stand, buying merch from several of these and putting it in your backpack.
When the time came, you immediately went to the place indicated in the email for the sweepstake winners, a large room that served as a waiting room near the stage. Upon checking in you were bombarded with a series of rules that were more than expected, no touching unless prompted by the celebrity, no request for personal contact and the sort of things you might expect at an event of that nature. They told all the winners that you would be called by your summoner names when it was your time to play, and that they would be alternating between celebrity and winner. They also told you that you were all going to play the roles you signed up for, so they gave you a bracelet that said 'ADC'. Finally, the two representatives told you to have a good time and left you all alone in the room.
All names were being called, and your excitement only grew inside you as you realized that your NewJeans bias hadn't been called yet. Last game, and you already knew that by discard you were going to play against, or with Danielle. Minji and Hanni had already been called previously, so you already knew who was going to be there.
The teams began to organize, and you considered yourself the luckiest guy in the world when you realized that Danielle was going to be your support. They took you to the stage, and there she was, as radiant and spectacular as always. She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, a short skirt of the same color, and high platform leather boots. Her beautiful curly hair with two adorable pigtails on the back of her head. When you approached her a big smile formed on her face, and you were immediately stunned by her beauty.
"Hi! I'm Danielle," she introduced herself, extending a hand to you, you shook it, and you both bowed, "you must be… Recon, right?"
"Yup," you nodded with a smile, "oh god, it's a great pleasure to meet you, seriously, I admire you guys a lot."
"Awww, thank you very much!" She bowed again, "Let's have fun, okay?"
"Sure!" At that moment you were told to sit down, and you were in champion selection in a matter of seconds, "Alright, what kind of supports do you like to play?" you asked, nervous as shit since there were lots of people watching you.
"Well, I always play Leona, that doesn't vary much," she told you over the discord voice channel.
"Alright, you like engage supports from what I see," you said, banning Morgana since she was her main counter, "I'll play Samira, okay? She's the best complement for Leona."
"Whatever you say, you're the expert here!"
Once the game started your mentality became completely different, to the level of completely forgetting where you were and who you were playing with. Maybe that was your good trick. You were the main shotcaller of your team, always attentive to the map and the position of the enemies to dictate plays and engage based on it. Kitten was the opposing ADC, so Danielle was constantly giving you data on how she played or what her tendencies were.
"Let's fight! She's alone!" she told you, however, you noticed due to the lack of vision that it was a bait, and that either the jungler or the opposing mid laner were waiting in a bush.
"Stop! Don't go!" You tried to warn her, however it was too late. She engaged, the enemy jungler came out of the bush and took the kill, "Ugh, you have to listen to me first!" you exclaimed, not upset but as a scold for her.
"Ahh! Sorry!" she apologized, "I'll let you make the decisions, I'll be all ears!"
"You can't engage in a situation like that," you said seriously, pushing out one last wave before recalling, "you had no vision of anything at all, just her, you fell right into her bait, oh, and on top of that you had no flash, it was an easy kill for them."
"That makes sense…" she made a small silence, perhaps processing the information, "okay, big mistake."
From that moment on, Danielle let herself be carried around by you, and you began to treat her like you could perfectly treat any random Solo Q support. You didn't think about the consequences at that moment, but what you also didn't know was that Danielle was not only impressed by your mechanical level and your knowledge of the game, but also by the fact that you were not conditioned by who she was, you treated her like any other ordinary person.
"Their jungler is dead!" you warned, "we can baron, quick!" Everyone listened to you, and quickly went to the baron pit, "if they come to defend it they are dead, we have much more damage," you take the baron in a matter of seconds, the other team had been intelligent and had not gone to fight.
"Jinx and Orianna don't have flash! We can engage!" Danielle said, and you nodded in satisfaction since you weren't aware of it.
"Alright, ulti ulti ulti!" you exclaimed. Dani casted her ulti, which only hit Jinx, but you flashed forward and started the whole fight. Orianna tried to throw her sphere at you, but you blocked it with your W and killed Jinx without using your ulti. Dani also flashed, and stunned Orianna before the entire opposing team arrived, that was when you cast your R, and with the help of your entire team, you won the team fight with a triple kill of yours.
"Niceeeeeee!" Dani shouted excitedly as you knocked down the nexus towers.
"Holy fuck very good job Dani!" you shouted back, along with all your team members. You threw the nexus, and you won the game.
There was a small ceremony for the winners when all the games were finally over. They gave you all official Worlds 2023 merchandise and figures of your choice. You chose one from Kai'Sa. All the celebrities and other people were already getting off the stage, that was when Dani passed by you, she took your wrist and left a piece of paper in your hand before getting off.
''Add me. I would love to play with you again in the future. It was a lot of fun!" the note said, and as a signature it had her summoner's name.
You wanted to turn around and thank her, but she had already gotten out and was heading towards her dressing room, leaving you completely stunned and unable to believe that she had actually done that. You quickly put the note in your pocket, preventing anyone else from seeing it. You got off the stage, and when you picked up all your things you drove back home.
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The first thing you did when you got home was rush to your room, turn on the PC and enter League to add Danielle. Upon verifying that she had not given you a fake summoner name and that it was real, you sent her the request. You sat there for a while, knowing that she had probably just done that as a polite gesture and that she most likely wasn't going to actually add you. About ten minutes passed, and you got up to go to take a bath.
The weeks passed and she never accepted your friend request, but you didn't let that discourage you since it was what you most expected would happen. During those weeks you continued with your daily life, scheduling coaching sessions with some clients while trying to reach Grandmaster in Solo Q. League was your comfort game, one of the few things you were really good at, and every time you entered a game you felt like a fish in water.
More days, and you were already starting to get off the boat. You no longer thought it was possible in any way that Dani would add you, but one day, without even thinking about it, you logged into League and found that you had a new friend. It was none other than Danielle Marsh herself, or 'MermaidMermaid', as her summoner's name said. You immediately cleared absolutely all the agendas you had pending for that day, and after going through an anxiety crisis you sat down to invite her to a game.
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Danielle didn't expect to have so much fun that day, but there she was, buried in the seat of the VAN and looking out the window while she couldn't get that guy who played with her out of her head. Not only was the guy cute and kind, but he had treated her like a normal person, something no one had ever done knowing who she was. It always happened with strangers online, but in person? That was unthinkable. She was Danielle Marsh from NewJeans, and absolutely everyone had to be nice and treat her like a goddess. He didn't care about that.
He always gave her compliments and congratulated her when she did something well during the game, but he also yelled at her and scolded her when she did something stupid, and despite all that, he always remained calm to lead his teammates to make the best decisions and win. It seemed like something quite basic, but for a celebrity who was already fed up with everyone being fake and hypocritical towards her, it was something very noteworthy, which is why she gave him her summoner name; she wanted someone new to play with, someone who wouldn't treat her like a spoiled baby and would make her really improve at the game while being real towards her.
However, she was still a celebrity, and that meant that she had to continue fulfilling her endless activities with the group. She was quite frustrated since she had almost no window of free time to sit at the computer, and also worried that the guy would think that she was just lying and that she really had no intention of adding him. Nothing could be further from the truth, she was impatient to have free time and accept the friend request that she knew was pending.
About a week had to pass before she could have some free time for an afternoon. She sat at the computer, a bottle of sprite in one hand, and logged into League to accept that guy's friend request. When she added him, she noticed that he was absent, so she put her legs up on the chair and looked at her phone while she waited for something new. Her heart nearly burst when she heard a noise inside the client, he had invited her to a game.
She almost dropped the phone on the floor when she leaned forward in the chair and placed her hands on the desk, panic making her look at the game invitation for longer than she should have, but she finally did it, and when she entered the lobby the first thing she did was leave the League Voice so he wouldn't hear her speak. They shared a couple of messages in the lobby chat while queueing, mostly a couple of greetings and reminders of their last meeting.
They played about 3 games just communicating through pings or messages in chat, as could happen with any random person in the game, but it soon started to become somewhat tedious for both of them as they needed more precision and shorter response times, so Dani, knew that the only way to truly improve and win games comfortably, was to speak to him by voice.
When they played the last game, the first thing Dani did after saying goodbye to him was go directly to Minji.
"Unnie!" Dani caught her attention, while Minji practiced in the living room with a piano.
"Yeah?"
"Well, you know I recently played with this guy again..."
"The guy you played with that time?" She put the piano aside, "What's wrong with him?"
"He's being pretty nice to me, and he's helping me a lot to get better at the game!" Her voice was filled with emotion as she said that last sentence, "But talking via chat is quite uncomfortable... I would like to talk to him via voice, what do you say?"
"Uh..." she thought about it for a second, "Discord is the best option, yes," she nodded, "but hey, I need you to really be very careful with that, you know why."
"He's trustworthy, I promise!" Dani exclaimed, "Besides, I can create a new email just for that account."
"Just be careful, please," Minji insisted, "Now leave me alone, I don't want to forget the melody I just thought of."
Dani ran back to her room and hurried to create a new Gmail email exclusively for Discord, an application that was a bit complicated for her to figure out how to use at first, so she asked Hanni for help to familiarize herself with everything before doing anything. When she finally felt safe using the app, she sent you an invite link the next day through League chat.
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You almost spit out your coffee when you saw a discord invite link in the chat. You quickly put the cup aside the mouse, put on your headphones, and clicked to accept the invitation. It was a channel where it was just you and her, the name was 'please help me', you couldn't help but laugh. She was already joined to the voice channel, so you just had to join.
"Hello hello?" You greeted, adjusting your microphone to your mouth. You heard interference sounds and some tapping on the microphone.
"Hellooo?" you heard her say, you inevitably smiled, "can you hear me right?"
"Yes perfectly!" you nodded.
"Gosh, I'm really bad with computers..." Dani spoke softly, as if she was afraid to raise her voice. Her pretty voice combined with her sexy accent made your skin crawl, it was like listening to an ASMR video, "I had to ask Hanni for help."
"Discord's really easy, it's just a matter of getting used to it I think," you felt a knot in your chest and a fluttering feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach. You were talking to Danielle Marsh from NewJeans, something you couldn't even fully take in, "How are you? Is everything okay?"
"You know, very exhausted from all the activities, it's not an easy life," she sighed, "but I'm still standing. What about you?"
"I certainly can't complain, honestly, but anyway, are you ready?"
"Yes! More than ready," as soon as she told you that, you pressed the find match button.
That was the first game you played, of many more that were to come. During the following months Dani made a great effort to play almost every day with you, no matter where in the world she was or what time it was, she always found a window of free time to play even just one game with you. Naturally the chemistry grew between you, but you never expected that she would even want to share her daily life with you while you weren't playing League. At first it was just basic things like the things they did as a group, or silly things like what she ate for breakfast or what she dreamed of, but gradually the trust between you grew, and it was a matter of time before you built a real connection.
You weren't a fool, anyway. You knew very well how beautiful and sexy she was without even trying. More than a friendship with her was all you could ever want from the bottom of your heart, but you were never one to daydream, so you were more than happy to just have her in your life. Occasionally you and her would flirt with each other over messages, but her being the person she was with the warm and kind personality she had, you thought it was all innocent and going nowhere. Average League player.
Friends of yours always asked who was that person with whom you always played and who prevented you from playing with them, but you never said a single word or clue, you always came out with the same excuse that it was just a client who had insisted on private coaching sessions in exchange for a significant monetary sum. They always believed you, but it was funny to think that it wasn't far from the truth either. The only difference was that Danielle still didn't pay you. Not yet.
There was a time when Dani was so busy with international activities that there were several days during which you would only message each other but there was no way you could even play a game. During one of those days you were out with your friends, the night escalated too quickly, and it all ended with large amounts of alcohol. You were a little drunk, and as soon as you had a moment alone at the bar you didn't hesitate to take out your phone to text Dani.
You completely forgot you had written that message until you got home, still with the alcohol affecting your body but no longer as drunk as before. You lay down on the bed ready to rest, until your phone rang with a notification. Dani had answered you.
Upon reading that last message you quickly stood up (tripping over your own shoes on the way) and in a couple of strides you turned your chair around, sat down and put on your headphones to enter discord.
"Hi thereee," you greeted, logging into League.
"Hi!" She laughed, noticing that you were speaking differently, “Are you drunk?”
"Nah," you laughed, "I mean, I'm a little more cheerful than usual, but I'm not drunk, don't worry," you assured, but you didn't know if you were actually telling the truth or not.
"Well, if you say so," she giggled again, "are you ready?" She asked when you were both in the lobby.
"Yessir! Go ahead!"
During all those months in which you were playing, you had not started playing ranked yet since Dani was still low level and did not have enough champions, but for a few weeks that was the only thing you played. You were climbing pretty fast, she was currently at Silver 2, and she was only one game away from reaching Silver 1. As expected, you won that game.
"Yaaaaay!" she celebrated, and you heard small applauses through her microphone, "Oh my god, we're going up so fast!" you laughed.
"At this point you should pay me with nudes in case I take you to gold," you said, not really thinking clearly about what you had said at any time since alcohol always made you this bold about everything. There was a small silence on the call.
"Well… we'll see about that," Dani lowered her voice again, speaking with a silkiness that made you shiver since you had the volume turned up quite high. You were surprised that she didn't answer you with a resounding no, "but that has to happen first."
"At this point you doubt what will happen?" you asked with an arrogant chuckle.
"I said we'll see, next week I'll be home, so by then we can play as much as we want," it was probably just your altered perception of reality thanks to the alcohol, but you noticed a certain double meaning in that last sentence.
"You have to go now, don't you?" you asked somewhat sadly.
"Yeah, I'm so sorry, honey," she wailed, "Just rest, okay? You must be exhausted."
"Yes I am," you sighed, "you rest too, Dani, I missed playing with you."
"And me too..." there was another small silence in which you were smiling, and for some reason you felt like she was too, "later, bye bye."
"Bye bye," you answered back, and left the call to go straight to bed.
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Dani was surprised, but honestly she wasn't disappointed at all. The connection she felt with that guy was genuine, something that did not happen very often with people since she became an idol. In fact, she did not give much importance to the consequences since she knew that many girls in the industry did very similar things, but at the same time she was highly nervous since she was inexperienced in that area.
Certainly she was not a virgin, she had a boyfriend who had taken care of it, but her experience at that time had not even been satisfactory, only for that stupid and cretinous boy whom she had already more than forgotten. But since then she never had more time to dedicate to the boys she hadn’t continued training that side of her, she had a few friendly kisses with Hanni, but nothing more than that.
The week before she returned home passed at the speed of light, and as soon as she settled back into the house and rested a little, she told him that they could start grinding rankeds. They had a fairly extensive winning streak, which was enough to leave them one game away from gold, but that's when the losses came.
Three games in a row lost, 0 LP. She was trying twice as hard as usual just like him, but no matter how hard they tried, her teammates were never right and they simply lost because the other lines were way further ahead in gold than everyone else. Of course she could have just sent him nudes, but she wanted to see him put in the effort first.
The road to Gold was being quite horrifying, they were trapped in a win-loss streak for several days, but that was never a cause for despair for him, who continually reassured her assuring her that sooner or later they would go up, since they were simply better players than the others, but time was running out, as there was only one last day left before she had to leave home again for a while.
It was quite late at night and it was already the last one Dani could play before going to sleep, which coincidentally was also the last game she needed to finally move up to Gold. She was curious about whether he had forgotten about the bet since he hadn't mentioned it at any time since he said it, but she wouldn't be the one to remind him.
The game was quite chaotic and difficult for both of them, but with some wonderful individual play on his part, they won, and Dani had moved up to Gold.
"Let's goooooooo!" he exclaimed into the microphone, "I told you! It was a matter of time!"
"Ahhhhh!!" She squealed with excitement, tapping the table with both hands, "You really are amazing!" she said as she watched the Gold promotion animation.
"People of this elo are honestly terrible, mother of god," he sighed, "but hey, we did it!"
"Thank you very much, really," she sighed. There was a small silence.
"Well... I already got you to Gold, I wonder how you can make it up to me…" he said quietly.
"Oh honey, I should sleep right now..." she replied smiling and playing with a curl of her hair, "bye bye."
"Huh? Really?" He laughed, and before he could respond Dani left the call.
As soon as Dani took off the headphones she leaned back and bit her lip still smiling, thinking about the angles she was going to use and the way she was going to send the photos to him in the morning.
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When you woke up and checked your phone your eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing. Dani continued to surprise you, it wasn't just a photo you had received, but a complete photo session of all kinds. Photos of her perky pretty little tits, her long skinny pale legs, her pretty feet, a photo of her rubbing her pussy, another photo lying on her stomach showing you her bare back and her ass, and she even took the time and daring to record a video of her bending over and spreading her ass for you. The killer part of the video for you was how she looked over her shoulder at the mirror and saw you with a seductive look. You were incredibly hard.
A few weeks passed in which the naughty messages and flirting continued, becoming more advanced with each passing day. She was driving you completely crazy, if before your crush on her was strong, now knowing her and getting to see her naked body normally, you didn't want any other girl in the world other than her.
It was the last night before she finally came home, you were lying in your bed, you had showered a few minutes ago, and you were ready to continue reading the Jujutsu Kaisen manga until you received a message from Dani.
As soon as you sent that message you received a video call from her, you innocently responded, and when you saw her your jaw almost dropped to the floor. She was completely naked.
"What the f...?!!" You opened your eyes wide, while she adjusted the camera, sitting on her bed.
"I couldn't help it, I'm sorry," she smiled, biting her lip as she watched you through the screen, "I didn't want to wait for you to take me to Plat before giving you this, so consider it payment in advance."
You left the phone on a small improvised tripod that you made from the blankets and began to undress quickly, Dani giggling every time you took off a piece of clothing until finally, like her, you were completely naked and hard for her.
"My god... the things I would do to you if I were right there with you," you said, bringing your hand to your cock to start masturbating very slowly at first.
"Oh yeah?" she asked, her countenance transforming into one seductive and sexy, "like what?" She sat with her knees apart and started rubbing her pussy slowly.
"I would kiss those pretty little tits..." when you said that she brought a hand to her tits to play with her nipples, "I would lick your nipples, and I would suck on them."
"I'd love to have that pretty mouth of yours on them..." she moaned, "but also on my tummy."
"Oh yeah? Would you like me to kiss and lick all over your tummy before eating that pretty pussy, darling?" You spat into your hand and brought it back to your cock to move your wrist slightly faster.
"Fuck, I'd love to," she settled back on the bed, this time spreading her legs for you so you could see her pussy perfectly, "I'd love to eat your cock too, honey..." she gasped, rubbing herself with two fingers.
"What would you do with this cock baby?" you asked with a gasp, watching how she played with her pussy and how she bit her lip.
"I would kiss it... I would lick it like a delicious popsicle..." you began to move your hand faster, your breathing becoming more and more labored due to arousal, "I would also kiss your balls, and I would suck them until they were soaked."
"Fuck... keep going honey," you said, zooming out so she could see you masturbating.
"You like it huh?" She bit her lower lip, "I would also kiss your tip... and collect the pre-cum that leaks out before taking it to my mouth," she teased by taking two fingers inside her pussy, which was glistening from how wet it was, "and I would suck that cock so hard that I would suck the soul out of you."
"Jesus Christ... I want to fuck you so bad Dani," you moaned, as you jerked off in front of your phone's camera for her. She moaned, and took two fingers inside her pussy.
"Mmmm yeah?" she moaned louder, "how would you like to fuck me?" She began pumping her fingers in and out of her pussy, slow at first.
"I'd start by fucking you on your back, with those nice long legs on my shoulders," you said panting, moving your hand slowly to match her pace, "I'd make sure my cock would go all the way in and all the way out, and also to kiss those pretty feet while I do it."
"Mmmm, how else, tell me how else!" she moaned louder, pumping her fingers faster, you consequently moved your wrist faster too.
"Then I'd love to put you on your hands and knees, and fuck you from behind while I pull on that beautiful hair," you moaned to her, knowing that the more you did it the more she was going to get turned on.
"How, like this?" She put the phone back and placed it horizontally, to rest on her hands and knees with her ass facing the camera, her back making a beautiful and perfect arch.
"Just like fucking that," you groaned, watching as she ran a hand under her body and returned her fingers inside her pussy, this time her wrist pumping fast and hard, "your ass is so pretty… you'd like me to fuck it dear?"
"That long juicy cock inside my tight little butthole?" she said with one side of her face pressed against the mattress, looking into the camera, "as much and hard as you want, mmmgh!"
"How much would you like me to fuck your ass baby?" you asked, the tingling in your lower abdomen becoming more intense as you got closer to cumming.
"A lot! It's all I want right now!" You were worried about how loudly she was moaning as her fingers aggressively pumped against her pussy, but you were so deep in your own imagination that you didn't care in the slightest to say something, "I want you to fuck my ass so hard that my legs tremble all day!
"I'm so fucking close, Dani, fuck!" You moaned, masturbating as hard and fast as you could as you watched her tight ass and how she finger fucked herself.
"Me too! Cum with me honey!" She turned away from the camera for a moment to focus on her own pleasure, but you continued to stare at her ass, imagining that you were kneeling right behind her while you fucked her. It was a matter of time before you exploded.
"Agh fuckkk!!" you grunted, strips of cum shooting out of your cock everywhere, landing on your lower abdomen, on your thighs and also staining your sheet without meaning to.
"Mmmmmgh!!!" She let out one last squeal before she stopped moving her wrist abruptly and cum. Her entire body shook in violent spasms. She lay flat against the mattress, her hips writhing upward as she rubbed herself between her pussy folds and let out cute moans, "Oh my god..." she sighed, adjusting herself to finally look at the screen, "look how much you came… god, I'd love to be there to pick it all up with my tongue and swallow it," she said, picking up the phone and bringing it closer to a shot of just her face, she was looking at your cum-soaked cock, licking her lips.
"You're really going to drive me crazy, Danielle Marsh," you said, sighed and then smiled, "you made me a mess."
"If I were there I'd clean it all myself... but I'm not," she sighed, looking to the side and then laying down on a pillow, "this was fun, wasn't it?"
“Yes it was,” you nodded, entranced by her pretty smile, as if just seconds ago you weren't imagining yourself pulling her hair and fucking her like an animal, “give me a moment, I'll go get some toilet paper. "
"I'll wait for you here, honey," she said, and you rushed for toilet paper to clean everything up.
"Fuck, I'll have to change the sheets," you sighed, cleaning it before throwing all the papers into the trash can and returning to Dani, "here I am."
"Damn, I think Hanni unnie heard me," she said, putting a hand to her mouth to giggle, "she just told me to shut up via text."
"Well, tell her you're not going to scream like that anymore," you laughed, lying back on the pillow, "you were moaning pretty loud."
"Really? God, they're going to kill me," she looked worried for a moment, "But nah, it's my revenge, Minji always does this kind of thing with her dildo."
"Wow, I guess you didn't need to share that information," you chuckled, but imagining Minji playing with a dildo in her pussy wasn't an unpleasant image in your head at all.
"Probably not, but I already told you, so if you want to jerk off thinking about it you can," she laughed, "as long as you show me."
"I don't think I'll have the desire to do that after how you just drained me," you smiled.
"A shame then..." she looked to the side for a few seconds, thinking about something, "hey, I'd like to tell you something."
"Sure, what it is."
"Um... well, I want us to hang out again, you know, in person."
"Well, I'm sure we can come up with something hon-"
"I like you," she said, not letting you finish the sentence, your heart skipped a beat.
"H-huh?"
"Just like you heard, I like you, and I like you a lot, god," she said desperately, as if it was something she'd been wanting to shout for a long time, "you... you're so cute, and so genuine with me, you make me feel like the real Danielle Marsh," she sighed, "yeah, I like you a lot."
"I..." you were speechless, your heart beating at full speed and with a tickling in your stomach, "Dani..." you were staring at her, "I like you a lot too, I don't think I've ever been so down for a girl like I am for you. You are so... radiant, and beautiful, and tender, and attentive!" As you spoke, Dani's smile and her face became brighter, "since you came into my life my days have only gotten better."
"God, you're going to make me cry, stop," she laughed with glassy eyes, "you're beautiful, and to be honest the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."
"I… I can say the same thing," you smiled from ear to ear, "you make me feel dumber than I am," she let out a louder laugh.
"And that's a good thing?"
"I guess so… hey, I'm really sleepy, honey," you said, and then yawned.
"I'm going to take a bath first before I go to sleep, you might find some surprises when you wake up," she winked at you, "but it's okay, darling, go rest," she gave the camera a kiss, and your inner self let out a stupid giggle.
"I can't wait to wake up then," you, completely idiotic and in love, also gave the camera a kiss, "tomorrow we'll talk about our outing, okay? Rest, baby."
"See you later honey," she waved at the camera and blew you a kiss with her hand. You hung up the call.
Even though you told her you were going to sleep, you stayed in bed awake for a few long minutes, internalizing everything that just happened and how it had happened. The tender words that she had said to you a second ago couldn't come out of your head, nor did her beautiful and radiant smile while you said nice things to her. That girl was everything you had been waiting for for a long time, and to think that everything had happened by chance made you laugh, but there, staring at the ceiling of your room with a silly smile on your face, you couldn't do anything but thank fate for putting Danielle Marsh on your path. That was the best sleep you had had in years.
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During the entire flight home Dani couldn't get the silly smile off her face. The girls constantly asked her what was wrong, but Dani always changed the topic of conversation or just played dumb. That night couldn't get out of her head, she remembered vividly how he had made her feel. That orgasm, those pretty words, that bright look of his as he said it all. It all seemed like a dream too good to be true, she had finally found the right person (or so it seemed), and knowing that something like that was waiting for her at home only made her stupidly happy.
When she landed the first thing she did when she got home was turn on her computer, take a shower and lie down on her bed to take a short nap. When she woke up and checked her phone, she was not surprised to find a couple of messages from him. One of them was so cheesy that she couldn't help but giggle.
Before jumping into the details about their meeting together, she had to first sit down and review her upcoming schedule carefully, and to her dismay, she realized that absolutely every day of the next two weeks was completely booked. That stressed her out, but it didn't stop her from continuing to spend time with him in League.
"Unfortunately I'm chain cc'ed for the next two weeks, honey," she had told him after a couple of games played, while they talked on discord, "but then it will be your turn for your tie me up," she giggled
The two of them continued teasing each other during those two weeks, day and night non-stop. Many conversations were based solely on what things she liked and what boundaries she would like to explore with him. Things in that chat were getting quite dirty, Hanni on one of those occasions accidentally read a message she had sent and was making fun of her all day, asking her if a cock that size wasn't going to break her in half.
Attached to that last message, a video of her doing a close up of her lips while she licked them and then stuck out her tongue.
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The plan Dani had formulated for you and her to have time alone was simply much better than you thought. She had told you to meet at a convention center, where there would be a cosplay event where she could wear a mask and no one would recognize her. You had already done your part of the plan too, you had made a reservation at a fairly trustworthy restaurant, as well as a reservation at a luxury hotel that you were sure she would love.
You arrived at the convention center on time, at 5 in the afternoon just as you and she had planned. You walked through the crowd in search of her, not paying much attention to all the cosplays around you since you could only focus on one thing at a time. The crowd was quite overwhelming for someone who was not used to being surrounded by so many people, but in the end you found her, you recognized her just by how she was dressed and by her beautiful long hair, but what finally confirmed her identity was the Jhin mask she was wearing. You thought it was cute that it was a little big on her face.
"Hello there! Your Jhin mask is great!" you said, taking her hand. You heard her giggle beneath her mask as she clung to you in a hug.
"God, I was starting to get overwhelmed" She said, still clinging to you, with your arms around her thin body.
"Ready to go?" you asked, separating yourself from her.
"Of course! We have nothing to do here," as soon as she said that you grabbed her hand and started pushing everyone out of your way as if you were Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea. You left the convention center in a matter of minutes, guided her to your car, and when she got in she took off her mask.
"Oh my god, you're literally a work of art," you said, sitting next to her, carefully detailing each of her pretty, doll-like features, as well as her visibly expensive outfit, which consisted of a long, beige baggy coat, white pantyhose and wide-heeled shoes.
"Do you like it?" She asked with a little smile, also looking you up and down.
"I love it," you nodded, looking into her eyes, "god, I can't believe I have you here with me."
"Just come and kiss me, baby" she said, and you lunged forward without hesitation, gently grabbing her face and crashing your lips onto hers.
Kissing her for the first time was liberating, a transcendental experience that felt like a little piece of heaven at that precise moment. Her lips were everything you imagined, soft, delicious and silky, you lost track of time, so you didn't really know how long you were kissing her until you separated and you looked at the time on your phone.
"Oh my god, it's getting late," you said, starting the car, "I booked us a table at a pretty discreet restaurant for both of us."
“Oh honey, I only have an appetite for one thing right now…” she said, her incredibly sexy Aussie accent sending shivers down your spine. She grabbed the skirt of her coat and pulled it up to her waist, revealing her pair of long legs adorned by her pantyhose, which went up to her thighs. Your sight went straight to her white lace panties, which she took off and then put into her own mouth.
"W-wow... what are you do..." you looked around, remembering that you were still in the middle of the street and that your windows weren't completely tinted. She grabbed your wrist, and opening both legs as wide as she could, she brought your hand right to her pussy so you could finger it.
You quickly hit the gas, pulling out of the street as fast as you could and turning a corner to drive straight toward the hotel. She put on her seat belt, moaning against her own panties while you rubbed your fingers against her clit until her pussy was wet, that's when you took two fingers inside her and started pumping your wrist.
Driving with one hand at such high speed was one of the most reckless and dangerous things you had ever done in your life, but there you were, dodging and overtaking cars to get to your destination as quickly as possible. You couldn't afford to look at Dani while you fingered her, but you heard her pretty muffled moans against her lace fabric and your cock did nothing but throb with excitement. She noticed this, and with her left hand she began to massage it over your pants. You swore that by the time you pulled into the hotel parking lot your boxers were already stained with pre-cum as well.
"Consider this a gift," she said, removing her panties from her mouth as you turned off the car, tossing them in the back seat and pulling her coat back down.
"Get off," you ordered, completely blinded by your desire to fuck her.
You both got out of the car and Dani put the mask back on. You checked into the lobby as quickly as the receptionist would let you, and once you had your key card you were both very close to jogging to the elevator. As you went up to your room floor she took off her mask and let it fall to the floor, you pinned her against the wall to kiss her again, and she began to moan against your lips.
When the elevator door opened you wrapped your arms around her and, almost tripping out of it, you began to walk down the hallway while your lips were still together. It was quite uncomfortable, so you decided it was best to just carry her. She wrapped her legs around your torso, and you rushed to your room, swiping the key card and opening the door in a flash. Once inside you locked the door behind you, and turned on the lights to leave her on the floor.
"Nice enough room for you to fuck me to death, yeah," she said, taking off her shoes as did you before unbuttoning her coat and removing it from her body. To your surprise, the only thing she was wearing from the waist up was an extremely tight tank top with no bra underneath her, her small nipples standing out against the fabric. Of course the top didn't last long, she took it off immediately, and now she was completely naked except for the white stockings which you were more than happy for her to leave on.
You lunged at her and wrapped your arms around her thin, tight body to kiss her again. She helped you undress while you ran your hands over every inch of her body, grabbing her toned little ass, caressing her back, pinching her nipples and running two fingers along her slit. You were both completely naked in a matter of minutes, and as soon as she could Dani climbed back onto your torso, wrapping her arms around your neck and her long legs around your lower body.
You quickly pinned her against a wall, and without any foreplay or teasing you took your throbbing cock straight into her extremely tight pussy.
"Oh fuck…" You gasped against her parted lips, she let out small moans as every inch of your cock made its way inside her until it reached the bottom.
"You feel so good and big!" She moaned, clinging to your neck with both of her hands.
"And you feel so fucking tight baby," you growled, grabbing her thighs and spreading her legs wide open to start fucking her as fast as you could, completely entranced by the immense desire you had for her.
"Oh yes! Fuck me hard and fast honey!!" she whimpered against your lips, as your cock moved completely in and out of her suffocatingly tight little pussy.
You were both deeply rooted in all the pent-up feelings and desire you had for each other over the past few months. You felt liberated, letting yourself be completely carried away by the moment and not thinking for a single moment about everything else. The moans quickly became present, both yours and hers as you hammered her pussy so intensely that it echoed throughout her room. She caressed the hair behind your neck, tangling her long fingers in several strands of it as she kissed you as much as she could. Your fingers were clinging to her soft thighs, beads of sweat falling from your forehead since you hadn't even bothered to turn on the air conditioning.
You and her had been teasing each other during the day, you fingering her a moment ago and her massaging your cock over her pants so well that your boxers were left with a big ass stain of precum on them. It didn't take long for you both to cum.
She did it first, writhing against the wall, letting out squeals of pleasure towards the ceiling and squeezing your cock into her pussy walls, which were already quite tight. You followed her, but not wanting to cum inside her yet, you pulled out from inside her and masturbated, pointing directly at her perfect, toned abdomen, which was painted white in a matter of seconds. Long strips of cum flowing free down her belly and reaching her crotch. You left her on the ground, both of you breathing heavily.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, that was too fast..." you apologized, panting, seeing her belly filled with thick white liquid.
"Oh don't worry darling, we have absolutely the whole night to ourselves," she said with a small smile, grabbing your face to give you a small kiss, "why didn't you finish inside me?"
"I didn't want to do it without your consent, I'm sorry," you said.
"Ahhh!" she squealed, "you're so cute I'm going to die," she gave you more little kisses, "I appreciate the gesture, darling, but don't hold back, fill me with your cum as much as you want," she winked at you, and gave you a little push back so you could see how she collected your cum from her belly and began to bring it all to her mouth to swallow it.
"Mmm, how is it?" you asked with a mischievous smile, as she swallowed the last remnants of your cum off her belly.
"Delicious, just as I expected," she gave you a kiss and went to the bathroom door, "wait for me in bed, honey, my abdomen is sticky now and I need to wash it, it won't be long."
"Okay," you nodded, and went to the side of the bed to grab the control for the air conditioning, turn it on, and lie down on the bed while you looked at your phone waiting for her. She came out of the bathroom a little less than five minutes in, your eyes went straight to her pretty naked body, and you really realized how lucky you were to have possibly one of the most beautiful idols in the industry like that in the same room with you.
"Oh gosh, it's cold all of a sudden," she hugged herself as she walked towards the bed, "lucky I have you as a personal heater," she smiled, climbing onto the bed to crawl towards you and lie down with half of her body leaning against yours.
"I still can't believe I finally have you in my arms, you know?" You sighed, snuggling her against your chest with both arms, then left a hand on her lower back. She hugged you too, leaving one hand on your chest and scribbling on your skin with one finger.
"It seems like a dream, right?" she asked as she looked into your eyes, two bright and adorable orbs, "for me too..." she gave you a peck on the jaw.
"More for me, I assure you," you laughed, returning the kiss but on her lips, "like, we met by chance of fate, you being a celebrity and me being a simple random who won a raffle."
"And here we are, you already fucked me and your cum is on my stomach right now," you both laughed out loud at that.
"Breakthrough indeed," you laughed.
"Thank you for being who you are and how you are... seriously," she told you with a smile on her face, "as you say, we met by chance, but now you are so fundamental to me that it’s difficult for me to think about how I could possibly improve my life right now."
"Well... I don't know if it will sound corny but you are like an angel fallen from heaven to me," her eyes, full of love and tenderness, looked at you, "I mean, I never expected this to happen when I won that spot, in fact, I wasn't even completely sure that I would be able to meet you since even that was random. I'm literally the luckiest guy in the world, to have that opportunity and to be able to make you... mine."
"Would you repeat that last one thing again?" she asked with a sweet tone of voice.
"Mine, to be able to make you completely mine. You are, completely mine, Danielle Marsh," you emphasized, and she squirmed in tenderness with a sweet smile from ear to ear on her face.
"Yes I am, I'm completely yours, honey," she said, cradling the side of your face with her hand and kissing you again, this time staying tied to your lips.
While you were kissing again, one of her hands discreetly went down your abdomen until it reached your flaccid cock, which she gently grabbed and began to massage. In response, you lowered your hand a little further from her lower back, reaching one of her buttocks to gently squeeze it. She gasped against your lips, and began to rub your cock up and down until it was hard again. You lowered your hand a little further, bringing it between her buttocks and reaching up to her pussy to rub between her folds.
"Mmm… I want to eat you, baby," you gasped against her lips.
"And I want to suck your cock, who will get the prize first?" she asked with mischief in her voice.
"Why not both?" When you said that you sat her up to grab her by her waist, she was quite light, so it was easy for you to just turn her around and lift her on top of you. Dani caught on to what you wanted to do immediately, and positioned herself so that her ass was hovering above you.
"You're a dirty genius huh?" She teased with a little smile, looking down at you and shaking her butt in your face.
"You'll thank me later," with two of your hands you grabbed her shoulders and made her collapse forward, her chest now pressed against your abdomen. You felt all of her long hair spread across your thighs, and also her hot breath on your cock. She extended her knees to the sides, her butt lowered, and now being within your reach you grabbed her waist and made her sit on your face, your entire face now submerged between her buttocks.
You were the first to act, giving her pussy a long, deep lick to which she reacted with a cute moan while she had your cock gripped in one hand. The next thing you felt was how she began to kiss you in every corner of it, including your balls, which she licked and sucked before moving on to lick your shaft from all directions. Not wanting to go too fast you moved your tongue slowly, and just like her you just limited yourself to spreading wet kisses all over her slit, which was enough to make her moan already.
When she began to lick your tip with her tongue swirling around it, you reached for her clitoris to lick it with slow strokes. Realizing that she was the one setting the pace she took you deeper into her mouth, reaching just past the middle of your cock, you felt her try to go deeper, but her gag reflex prevented her from doing so. Still, she began to suck you up and down, moaning around your shaft as she pumped her head at a pace that had you moaning against her pussy as well.
You squeezed her buttocks with both hands, and squeezing them forced her to grind her hips against your face. She did so, and her pussy began to rub against both your mouth and nose. You could tell that she wasn't an expert at sucking cock, but you could also tell that she was trying hard to pay attention to how you moaned to know how to do it better and better. She certainly learned well, since after a minute she was already driving you crazy.
She gradually began to pump her head faster and more skillfully, and you began to move your tongue matching her rhythm. Her uncontrolled moans vibrated your cock, which in turn caused a domino effect in which you vibrated her pussy with your own moans. You noticed in the movement of her hips, more wandering and less smooth, that she was much closer to her orgasm than you, so you hugged her body with both arms and made her stop grinding her hips so you could concentrate on licking her clit with the tip of your tongue as fast as you could, your efforts soon rewarded as she exploded in your face.
Her ass smothered you and she pulled you out of her mouth to let out a squeal into the air, you gladly continued to eat her through her orgasm, not caring about the fact that your breathing was incredibly limited thanks to her. Her whole body was shaking, and you caressed every corner of it with your hands until she stopped.
"Give me another load honey..." you heard her say with a moan, sinking back onto your cock and also using her hand to suck as hard and fast as she could. She leaned her hips forward to let you breathe, but you knew it was also to hear you moan while she gave you a disastrous blowjob with saliva everywhere.
"C-cumming!" you announced with a growl, and seconds later, you exploded inside her little mouth. She took every drop of your cum inside her, making a great effort not to choke in the attempt, when your orgasm passed, she got off you and knelt next to you to show you her tongue completely filled with white liquid. She closed her mouth again, and swallowed everything.
"First blood," she said with a mischievous tone, you laughed still breathing hard.
"Well, technically..."
"Nope, I'm not counting the previous one. First blood I said," she reaffirmed, approaching you to share another steamy kiss.
"Then let's keep playing shall we?" You said against her lips, and you rose little by little, leaning on your elbows. She separated from your lips, and watched your movements carefully. You finally grabbed her by her waist and made her turn her back to you, then, with one hand on her lower back, you made her rest on her hands and knees. She replicated the same perfect arc she had done that time on the video call, and seeing her tight ass and her dripping pussy from behind made your cock throb again.
Without a second thought you spit again on your cock and thrust yourself back into her, your shaft sliding so smoothly into her that a single push was enough to make it disappear between her folds. Dani threw her head back and moaned loudly.
"Mmmmgh!!" She moaned with pursed lips, turning to look at you over her shoulder, “smash that fucking tight pussy honey!!” She asked, holding on to the sheets while you began to do exactly what she had just asked, two hands on her small waist and your hips pumping almost at full power right from the start.
Her body began to shake like a rag doll's, back and forth with each slam of your pelvis against her tight ass, which wobbled with each strong thrust. You gasped and pursed your lips between small moans, admiring her long bare back and how her hair spread across it in an incredibly sexy way.
She stopped looking at you to bury her face in her mattress and moan against it, pulling the sheet a little from the edges of her because of how hard she was scrunching them with her fingers. One of her hands reached out to her right to grab a pillow, hug it and moan against it while you fucked her pussy like an animal. She raised her head again to see you over her shoulder, her red face completely distorted with pleasure and her mouth half open as she moaned in the most sensual ways.
"Don't look at me like that or I'll have to spank you Danielle Marsh," you warned with a sly smile as you fucked her just the way she wanted.
"Oh yes please, spank me!!" She asked quickly with a desperate squeal, and without a second thought you gave her a spicy spank on her right buttock, which made her squeal louder and bite the pillow.
You squeezed both of her ass cheeks with her hands and let your head fall back with your eyes closed because of how good it felt to fuck her tight pussy like that. Your hands went to her waist again, and she buried the side of her face back into the pillow as you brought her to a third orgasm.
Another spank on her right buttock, your hand marked in red on her skin, and then another spank with a changed hand, this time on her left buttock. Dani screamed against the pillow, and after a few seconds of intense thrusts she came again. You slowed your pumps considerably, watching as her slim body shook and her hips made her fuck herself against your cock.
"Here I fucking come..." you warned, feeling yourself reaching your peak again without her even having completely overcome her orgasm. You grabbed a handful of her long, silky brown hair and pulled it back as you gave a sharp thrust forward, exploding violently inside her pussy, "double kill," you whispered in her ear, unloading all your cum inside her tight walls.
"Fuck..." she moaned once you let go of her hair and let her fall back onto the pillow, "it feels so warm and thick inside me... I love it," she sighed with heavy breathing.
"Consider it a way for me to mark my territory," you smiled, and then you pulled out of her pussy to lie down next to her and start filling her back, shoulders, and neck with small, loving kisses. You helped her and were patient while she recovered, stroking her soft hair and placing more kisses all over her face.
"So double kill huh?" She giggled seeing you and standing up to go to her coat, she picked it up off the floor and searched in one of her pockets. She pulled out two things, her phone, which she distracted herself with by typing for a few seconds, and a small bottle of lub, "get ready for baron then," she tossed the little bottle to you.
There was no doubt in your mind what exactly she meant when she said that, but when she got back on the bed, she got back on her hands and knees, spread her ass for you, and looked at you with the same lascivious look she had given you that night on the video call, you knew exactly what she wanted.
"You're a very naughty girl, huh?" You teased, kneeling again behind her and pouring some lub on your fingers to start playing with her butthole, rubbing it and then taking them inside her little by little. She didn't have time to answer you while you used your fingers to slowly open her tight ass, pumping slowly with your wrist until you took them completely inside her, only leaving your knuckles outside. That was enough to drive you to full hardness again.
"Come on baby, I'm ready for you to gank my ass," she moaned looking at you over her shoulder, "put that cock in, I need it!"
You took the lub again, this time to pour it over your cock and spread a considerable amount over it, to leave it very slippery and shiny. Once ready you capped the bottle, tossed it to the side and took your shaft in one hand to guide it to her butthole. You made slow, steady pressure forward, taking your first few inches inside and moaning as you felt her walls stretch around you. She wasn't even able to moan, she had her mouth permanently open in an O, her nails digging into the pillow and her eyebrows furrowed as she watched you. At first it was somewhat suffocating, but as soon as your entire cock had disappeared between her buttocks it was easy for you to gradually get into the rhythm.
You left one hand on her waist, and began to move slowly knowing that she was still struggling to get used to your length inside her inexperienced ass. Finally she started moaning like she normally did, that's when you realized how much she was really enjoying it, but with every thrust you gave her moans became louder and louder, leading you to think that she enjoyed having her ass fucked much more than she could have expected.
The pace gradually increased, you took your cock as far in and out as you could, making sure every inch of her felt absolutely every inch of your cock as you fucked her ass between moans and loud sounds of flesh slapping against flesh.
"Why do I feel like you're enjoying it more than your pussy?" You groaned somewhat exhausted already, but not the least bit willing to stop.
"Because I am!! Fuck!!" she squealed in response, she brushed all her hair past one of her shoulders and looked at you over her shoulder, you could only see her milky naked back as you fucked her ass so hard you felt like you were going to break her in two.
"Then show me how much you're enjoying it honey, but I want to look into your eyes," you pulled out of her ass and turned her roughly onto her back, you grabbed both of her legs and spread them wide open, you looked into her eyes, and you went back inside her ass with a single push.
"Oh ffuuuuuck!!!" she grunted with her eyes watering, arching her back as you resumed your powerful, violent thrusts in and out of her ass, "don't stop please!! it feels so fucking amazing!!"
"And it will feel even better honey," you assured, leaning forward to kiss her long neck and down to her small tits, which for the first time you brought to your mouth to lick and kiss her nipples again and again.
Certainly she began to enjoy it much more, she hugged your neck and pushed you hard towards her tits, forcing you to continue eating them while you fucked her ass without mercy. Her beautiful moans were like music to your ears, and between both stimuli she soon came in the most intense, violent and energetic way so far. Her entire body seemed to be being electrocuted, even her eyes were rolled back as the spasms attacked her without any warning.
The way the walls of her butthole tightened around your cock made you moan against her tits, and even though she had already drained you three times that night, you were able to release one last load for her nside her ass. You released yourself from her arms, and this time you muffled your moans against her lips as you shot ribbons of hot liquid into her.
"Mmm… triple kill," you whispered against her lips, and neither you nor she could help but laugh.
"God, we're so stupid," she laughed, hugging you, placing kisses on your temple. You could feel her chest rising and falling abruptly.
"I didn't think you would enjoy being fucked in the ass so much," you said still inside her. You gave her a little kiss on her lips.
"Me neither, but I think I just found a great new kink," she giggled, biting her lower lip, "hey, you're not planning on staying inside me all night are you?"
"As much as I want to, no," you laughed, and slowly pulled out of her ass, and as if it were a plug, your cum began to flow freely out of it and onto the sheets, "I'll go find something to clean you up."
You got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get a roll of toilet paper, you came back with Dani, and while she was still with her legs open, waiting patiently for you, you began to clean her carefully, putting special emphasis on the stained sheets.
"We can ask for new sheets, right?" she asked.
"Of course, but for now let's get some rest honey," you said with a sigh, leaving the roll of toilet paper on the nightstand to lie down on the pillow. She joined you right away, but she climbed completely on top of you, clinging with her thighs to your torso and leaving her head resting against your neck, you wrapped your arms around her and snuggled her against you, resting for a few minutes in that the peace you felt was completely unbreakable.
Until you heard several loud knocks against the door.
Your heart began to beat fast and strong, and you could feel your entire soul escaping from your body thinking that you had been caught. But Dani didn't seem scared like you, in fact, when she heard her knocking she raised her head excitedly and put on the tight tank top she was originally wearing. You frowned, confused since you didn't know what was happening. It was when Dani opened the door and stepped outside that everything became clear to you.
"Damn, why are you so sexy and disheveled?" You heard a girl say, "I'm late, right?"
"No, you're actually right on time unnie," Dani said, and when she walked back into the room she walked in with none other than Kim Minji herself. Looking as beautiful and inexplicably ethereal as ever. She was wearing a semi-transparent black blouse, flared jeans, and sandals. She was also carrying a backpack.
"May I know what the hell is going on?" you asked, covered up to your neck with the blanket in a rather funny way as you watched them. They both had a wicked smile on their faces as Dani closed the door.
"Well... Unnie's been trying to show me something for a while now," Dani began to explain to you, "but she thought it would be best to just bring her along too."
Just then Minji took the backpack off her shoulder, set it down and took out some long ropes from it.
"Tell me, are you ready to do some crafts, cutie?" Minji asked you, watching you with a raised eyebrow as she pulled the ropes onto the bed. You, without taking your eyes off her for a moment, got out from under the blanket to reach the room's phone and call reception.
"Hello? Yes... I would like to book one more night," you began.
"Mmm, better make it two," Minji ordered.
"Ah... yes," you nodded, "two more nights... thank you miss."
—---------------------------
Spren Notes: Well, there's Dani's first smut, with some more to come👽 And again, sorry for the cheesy LoL jokes lmao.
#newjeans smut#danielle smut#smut#kpop smut#fanfic#smut fanfic#x male reader smut#male reader#x male smut#x male reader
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Astrology Observations- 013
I notice Cap Mercurys think so maturely even from such a very young age. These were those kids that always wanted to hang around people older than them. They are old souls at heart and sometimes it’s harder for them to connect with more childlike energies. People their age can see them as boring because of their serious demeanor.
Leo Risings never like to show the sides to them that make them look bad in anyway. These people have big egos so any assumption from others that they aren’t anything but great can take a big toll on their self esteem. They come off so confident but most are really insecure & don’t think they are interesting so they tend exaggerate a lot of facts about them to keep people thinking they are really interesting and amazing. (U guys don’t need ti do that people already think you are before you even speak)
Capricorn risings always look so annoyed when people are speaking to them. Most of the time they are. They have very honest expressions and when someone says something stupid or uninteresting they are more willing to show their uninterested while most are just willing to smile and take it out of being polite. This is why they can come off as rude or snobbish but really the just don’t have time for bullshit. (I definitely think Wednesday Addams has this placement) many don’t know they are being rude but most don’t have the energy to be fake if they really don’t like what the others saying. Very Real people many mistake them for being Scorpio risings.
Venus in Scorpios were probably shamed a lot for their their sex appeal/drives. I notice these people have a very provocative vibe to them that causes a lot of ppl to sexualize them ( especially the women). I’ve seen women with this placement be virgins and still get slut shamed. People always assume they sleep with mad people even if it’s not true.
Moon in 5th housers are actually very secretive about their talents. A lot are so talented but most tend to keep their hobbies and interests to themselves unless they really trust you.
When someone with Venus in the 7th house likes you they will talk about their future a lot with you. This one guy had a big crush on me and would always joke about getting married and starting a life someday ( he made it sound as a joke but in a way I can tell he meant it). Also can be obsessed with weddings. I have a friend with this placement who says she’ll only wanna get married to experience having her dream wedding lol
Venus in 2nd house women always have people buying them things bro. They don’t even have to ask and men will be buying them expensive gifts or paying for their food or trips. Definition of pretty privilege.
Mars in Aquarius like very eccentric things in bed. It’s almost like they enjoy the opposite of what should be expected in bed. Like the women would like to take normally the male role in bed and vice versa a man with this placement could like a very submissive role. The weirder and more out of place the more turned on they get. Can also be really experimental they are willing to try anything once even if it’s outlandish.
Mars in Aries are usually natural athletes. They have amazing endurance and can become pros faster than most.
Virgo moons usually have bad stomach problems or eating disorders. They are also always giving unsolicited advice no one asked for. They feel this need to solve everything but it can come off as kinda judgmental.
Mars in Pisces are usually victims to bullying. They usually have a hard time asserting themselves and standing up so they get pushed around a lot easier by stronger more dominant energies.
Cap moons are always in denial of their feelings
Mars Square Venus synastry can be really awkward at times in a friendship. Theres this bizarre sexual and touchy tension usually that both aren’t fully comfortable with. The mars person can come off a little too strong and can treat the Venus as if they own them. This attraction can be one sided sometimes with the mars person wanting the Venus and the Venus getting repulsed and distancing themselves. I’ve seen the mars person get jealous if the Venus would hang out with others whether it be other friends or family. And if the Venus is dating someone else this can get really heated on the mars end. Venus will feel the attraction but I notice it’s not as strong.
Venus in 5th house synastry is soooooo flirty. These are those cheesy cringey couples that are always acting like little kids around eachother. It’s actually a really sweet placement. This person will be able to bring out your inner child.
Venus in Libras are always crushing on someone. They jump into relationships I think faster than people with Venus in Aries the only difference is that they can maintain longer term partnerships & don’t bore as quick (even if their feelings are a little superficial). They just don’t know what to do with themselves when they are alone.
Scorpio risings I notice get really strong reactions out of people (like Lilith/asc people) their words make others blood boil even if they really don’t say anything offensive or rude. Most people are jealous of their authenticity which is why a lot of Scorpio risings are quiet and not as willing to open up. People just hate on them so intensely for the littlest things. They also have this ability to know if people are genuine or not which can be intrusive to certain people causing intense reactions. They can see thru everyone’s mask which can make other feel uncomfortable to be around them. This is why they usually have few friends and the friends they do have are as authentic as themselves. Literal human lie detectors
Men that have a water sun with a water moon are BIG SIMPS
Cancer sun women will be passively rude to you if they don’t like you or are jealous of you. They won’t straight say it but they will say little comments in a nice way that’s actually really rude. Then usually play victim if confronted
Everyone’s crush in high-school was either a Scorpio sun or a Libra sun/rising. Tell me I’m lying
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take a chance / jeon wonwoo
Wonwoo x Reader // 1.7k words // nothing but fluff lol they're idiots
a/n: if you cant tell im absolutely insane abt this wonwoo. 100000% self indulgent and 100% not proofread as always ehe <3 v lowkey inspired also by niki - take a chance with me
He drives me crazy, it's so beyond me
How he'd look at me dead in the eye and stay unaware
Niki - Take A Chance with Me
[☆]
Wonwoo has never really been interested in romance.
When he was six and his friends started talking about girls were icky, he couldn't have cared enough to even think about girls in particular.
When he was fourteen and his close cousin who was practically his big brother told him about his first girlfriend, Wonwoo had simply nodded and congratulated him because the older guy looked like he was waiting for it even though he didn't get what's there to congratulate.
When he was seventeen and another cousin got married, he thought a little about what it'd be like to commit yourself for the rest of your life to another person.
Anyhow, now he's twenty seven and still pretty much free from the dating experience.
He just simply couldn't be bothered to try nor was he even curious enough to try.
There's too much risk. Too much things to do. Too many factors to think about. It's too complicated and Wonwoo has never been a fan of complicated.
Sure, the older he gets the more he understands about the attraction and whatnot. But the few dates that he has been on (which he could count with his two hands) was entirely due to his friends setting up with someone and his inability to say no the second time even though he did reject their so-called-help the first time around.
They eventually get the hint and stop setting Wonwoo up on a blind date.
He never sees romance as a necessity and he doesn't feel the need to have a partner, what is there more to say?
“I lost the floor 12 Abyss again.” You pout, half tempted to throw away the joystick in your hands. “I'm never playing this game again, I'm telling you.”
Wonwoo chuckles and tells you to move as he slides next to you, taking the joystick away and getting ready to restart your game.
“You just suck at this.” He teases, not minding your glare because he's way too used to it at this point. “And you say that everytime but here you are, still playing.”
“Shut up.” You pout, both impressed and unimpressed at the way he easily goes through the stages.
“Done.” He grins, all nine shining stars looking back at you.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don't.”
“I do!” You take back the joystick from him and close the window. “You don't even play this game! This is bullshit!”
He laughs under his breath and ruffles your hair, saying something about how he can't help being good at it.
You like that side of Wonwoo, as you often tell him, because people have always said that Wonwoo is quiet–that he doesn't talk a lot and it could be awkward being left alone with him.
And whilst it's not entirely untrue and you've been there too, you also know that Wonwoo is much more than his lack of words.
Wonwoo talks a lot once he's comfortable. You just need to be very patient and understanding about his silence before he gets there.
You… have been plenty patient, amongst other things.
You're patient enough to get where you are even though you've never imagined you'd get here.
Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to be comfortable with you that he doesn't mind inviting you over to his place with no other companies.
Here, meaning being close enough with Wonwoo for him to not mind the fact that you like him and not act weird about it.
Here, meaning being close with Wonwoo despite the fact that you've confessed to him about your feelings but you're still here in his place, right next to him with not a single air of awkwardness between you two.
Turning off the Playstation, you settle on Wonwoo's sofa and decide to scroll through Instagram instead. You sigh, catching his attention, and when he asks you what's wrong, you simply shake your head no.
“What are you sighing about this time?”
This is something that people don't know about Wonwoo either: he prods when it comes to people he cares about.
Granted, he does it exactly three times to see if the other party would relent by then. He does that because that's how he is, he once tells you, because he rarely opens up at the first question but eventually cracks on the third time. That, by the third question, he's already had enough time to consider whether or not he really wants to talk about it.
“Nothing important.” You try to reassure him. “Just silly stuff.”
Wonwoo looks at you pointedly, but you simply smile and turn back to your phone, which he supposes means you don't feel like bringing it up just yet.
He closes his book and puts it on the coffee table, leaning closer to you to see what you're up to.
You wonder if Wonwoo knows what his action means to your poor, poor heart. If he's aware that, as much you said you're cool despite your confession, you still have romantic attractions towards him and confessing doesn't mean you're no longer affected by anything and everything he does.
After watching you go through your phone for a bit, it is quite easy for Wonwoo to realize what might be the core of your problem.
“You're thinking about why you're single again, aren't you?”
Your fingers freeze and so does your entire body, and Wonwoo would've laughed at how surprised you look right now, but he knows you're actually bothered by this problem from time to time though he doesn't exactly understand why.
And for someone who's observative and quite sensitive when it comes to things around him, Wonwoo can be a bit dense, still.
On what kind of universe does he think this topic would be okay to talk about with someone who literally confessed to you and somewhat got rejected though not explicitly?
“I don't want to talk about it.” You whine despite the fast beating of your heart. You honestly don't think you have it in you to talk about this with Wonwoo. At least not just yet.
“Why?”
You look at him, incredulous. “You know why.”
“Because you like me?”
You shrug, not wanting to deny it.
“Can I ask you something?” He asks, voice very gentle and careful.
“What?”
“I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive.” You press your lips together as he starts. At least, he has the conscience to know that. “But… what is it about being in a relationship that appeals so much to you?”
You pause before you answer, wondering what to say. “Do you want me to actually answer that?”
“If you don't mind answering.”
Wonwoo wonders if he makes you uncomfortable by asking such question. But if there's anyone he can ask about this, it can only be you. No one else would answer it in a way that he would understand. No one else would give him the sincerity that you'd give in your answer.
He feels bad knowing you like him and still asking you like this. But he supposes you're both close enough for that discussion, that he doesn't want to let your feelings get in the way of your precious friendship.
Perhaps he's selfish, but he doesn't want to be too conscious when it comes to your relationship with him despite everything.
“I guess it's just the fact that someone's always there for you.” You start, not looking at him even though his gaze is locked at you. “That there's this person who… you can tell everything to, from your secrets to what you feel like eating today. That when you want to do something, you can always run to them first before wondering if anyone else is available. That–”
“But that's already how we are?” He cuts you off.
You stare at him wide-eyed, wondering if it's some kind of prank even though you know he's not that kind of person.
“That's already what I do with you.” He says one more time–more firm and somewhat determined with a hint of confusion. “Why do you think you're in my place so often?”
“I… I– I don't know? You're… bored? And I happen to be free?” You stutter a little, not used to the way he's staring at you.
“I am bored.” He agrees, things suddenly crystal clear in his eyes. “But I'm bored because I don't have you around. And I want you here. That's why I asked all the time if you're available.”
You open your lips to say something–anything, but nothing comes out because your heartbeat is ringing throughout your body right up to your ears.
“You're the only person I send those posts about places I want to visit because I want to visit with you. I don't send them to anyone else. I don't even like going out all that much.”
“I… I don't understand?”
“Are we in a relationship?” He asks rather bluntly, mixing all your feelings together with one single question.
“Wonwoo, I don't think this is how you should go around it–”
“Have we been dating all this time?” He asks one more time, not even seemingly nervous about it.
He looks at you like he's expecting an answer, but how are you supposed to answer that? You've simply been happy that you get to spend time with him. You didn't think for one second that he might be into you despite all the time he asks you to accompany him somewhere and all the time you're alone in his place.
“I've been too oblivious, haven't I?” He concludes by himself, your silence doesn't deter him at all.
He reaches for your cheek, and if he notices how warm your face is, he doesn't mention it. But he caresses the apple of your cheek as he looks at you with the gentlest reflection you've ever seen in his eyes.
“I'm sorry it took me too long.” He whispers, and you bite your lip so hard to hide your smile because you don't want to be too happy before anything's decided. You're not sure what he's trying to say, your head is spinning with thoughts and your heart is beating at an erratic rhythm. “Do you mind… letting me learn a bit more?”
“About what?” You whisper back.
“Being a good boyfriend?” He smiles when you do too, feeling warmth all over his chest at how shy you seem to be. “You know I've never done this before, right? Let me take a chance with you?
You finally let yourself grin at this, no longer able to control the happiness blooming within you at whatever this might mean.
And as you lean your face more into his palm, Wonwoo thinks he's ready to take all the risks that might come together with whatever the future has in store as long as he has you by his side.
#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo scenarios#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenarios#khione.fics#seventeen au#seventeen scenario#seventeen imagines#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo oneshot#psa reminder that hes MINE
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Hot take: Laios wouldn't actually mind an arranged marriage. Obviously "reluctant royal being pressured into marriage" is very fun for shipping purposes. But I have harlequin blood, so bear with me. Join me on this journey of character theorizing/shipping nonsense that makes it abundantly clear I have a Scrivener document I'm neglecting.
Laios was promised to someone from a young age. He and Falin both were; it's probably how their parents ended up together. They both broke it off by leaving their village, but it didn't seem to be a factor in Laios's own decision. And when Marcille, presumably, asks about his hypothetical love life (bicorn chapter), he not only brings it up readily, but actually seems kind of flattered? lmao
I love when smug Laios comes out. Underrated factor of Laios's personality for me is how much he enjoys being seen as cool. I think you'd expect Laios to be embarrassed or uneasy over this line of questioning, and the fact that he isn't is fun to me.
So when Yaad and his other old advisors bring up his need for a wife, Laios is ready to go along with it. Not necessarily thrilled by the prospect, but he was raised to think of marriage as a business arrangement you do because it's beneficial for your household/bloodline (as was often the case historically). He's already made the big step to claim a throne, and the idea of becoming village chief after his father seemed to have been vaguely in the back of his head all his life. Besides, if he has to do it anyway, I think he'd take comfort that there was a formalized process for an otherwise socially messy undertaking.
This dovetails neatly with my personal headcanon that Laios is gay but unaware of it. He comes from kind of a repressed culture- or at least I can imagine he does based on context clues- and has spent most of his life being ostracized in one way or another, feeling like he's on the outside of humanity. So he doesn't realize that his lack of attraction to women is unusual- he assumes that nobody really enjoys romance that much. It's not like his own parents married for love. It's just something people play up for stories, right?
It's all tangled up with his fraught desire for human connection and platonic companionship anyway. Meanwhile he's blithely unaware that the things he says about Toshiro are not normal bro things. Oh you'd totally marry Toshiro, Laios? Tell me more.
I see this in Marcille too. Firstly due to her unstable development, which has only recently allowed her to reach maturity (I headcanon her as somewhere between 20-22) and secondly due to her being a half-elf (infertile+a too-long lifespan), I think she has the expectation that she's simply not destined for love. The half-elf character she relates to in her favorite books says as much. So she, too, confuses a genuine lack of heterosexual attraction with the belief that this is just because of her half-elf status distancing her from it. Plus, she spent over a decade as a student/researcher in a nice little sheltered academic bubble, at an all-girls academy populated by adolescents. She's the most sheltered of all the characters: she's only spent the past year in the "real world", and she still focuses all her romantic attention on living vicariously through her favorite characters or her friends (except for Falin, conveniently!).
And Marcille would absolutely want to live vicariously through Laios and his future wife. She would not want him to go through a dispassionate formalized process: she wants her bestie to have a fairytale romance! What is the point of being a heroic king in a mythic castle if you can't even get a love story for the ages out of it?
This would result in a lot of Laios meeting with eligible bachelorettes at Marcille's urging, looking to Kabru for help the entire time and being grilled by Marcille afterwards about what he liked best about each girl. "She had nice, um, teeth?" They're both so close to getting it.
Kabru, meanwhile, is agitating for Yaad and the other advisors not lock the country into a hereditary monarchy, they have the chance to do something radical here, to break away from the systems that the elves and dwarves uphold. At the very least, let Laios marry for love, or formally adopt an heir and name them his successor if he wants, he's already sacrificed enough for the sake of Melini. Don't make him jump through these circus hoops for the chance of some trade agreements, we can get those without a royal marriage. And even if Laios was willing to go along with it, he does look at Kabru like he's his hero for sticking up for him.
The vague unhappiness Kabru feels at the idea of Laios being married off is easy for him to ignore. Kabru didn't actually get better at honoring or even recognizing his own wants just because he's moved past the dungeon. And Laios hasn't gotten the hint about his crush on Toshiro and is still 50/50 on saying casually shocking things, so when he remarks that he doesn't need a wife anyway when he has Kabru, he has no idea why that gets him the looks it does. After all, where he's from, men marry women to run their households, but Laios has castle staff for that, and Kabru is handling the rest?
That comment alone ticks one month off their collective gay awakening countdown.
Anyway. How many repressed gays in their twenties does it take to run a country?
Answer: Yaad can tell you.
#dungeonposting#DUNGEON MESHI SPOILERS#I always have to use that tag for the dumbest reasons. because of my harlequin blood.#Labru#you get that tag because that was the point of my post it just took awhile to get there#also pretend I made some kind of joke with a pun about screwing at the end. believe in me.#Golden Country trio#^tag for ME. rotating scenarios with them in my head is a personal treat.#I haven't figured out where Kabru falls yet#he's very bad at introspection and very good at denying himself#but god knows what a guy like Kabru who moves through society the way he does experiences#several possibilities present themselves and I haven't yet decided which one is most plausible. or funniest.#pairing: to be human
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After Midnight
Caroline (KK) Harvey x Fem!Reader
—-
synopsis: flirting with the star hockey player at the frat party isn’t what you would normally do, but it’s after midnight and something about the lights is making everything a little hazy.
feel free to send requests!!! 🫶🫶
a/n: GUYS PLEASE. PLEASE IGNORE THIS. i’m sorry i’ve betrayed all my morals… but i cant sit idly by while my fellow kk lovers suffer… i hope you all enjoy!!
After Midnight - Chappell Roan
warnings: not proofread!!!, ALCOHOL!!! we are in a FRAT people!!, some swearing ofc, super brief barely there mentions of violence and such, kk is taller than reader by like an inch suck it idc i do what i want, super brief mention of y/n having hair (length unspecified), idk like a bit of kissing and some somewhat suggestive thoughts… y/n is a freak 💔, i’ve never flirted with anyone before how do you do this, so probs inaccurate, i don’t know anything about hockey just prefacing this, i also don’t know how college works rip, as chappell roan said: “i love a little drama, let’s start a bar fight, cause everything good happens after midnight”
—-
“Shit, babe, you look fuckin’ hot.”
This entire night is almost painful for you. Stepping out of your comfort zone on any level is always an adjustment, but trading your early nights in with homework and Netflix for a sexy dress showing everything in all the right and wrong places- is especially hard.
You almost cringe touching the velvet fabric of your revealing dark red shirt, staring at someone in the mirror you don’t even recognize.
“Jackie,” you mumble to your best friend and roommate, “I think it’s.. too much.”
Jackie tilts her head to the side, short dirty blonde hair swaying with the movement. She’s only humoring you, you can tell. “Nope. Perfect.”
You look at the pictures stuck in the slats of the mirror. Pictures of you, Jackie, and the other girl in your trio, Tyla, faces pressed together in bright smiles from various adventures from your freshman year at college.
It was such a relief when Jackie was the sweetest girl and an amazing person to share a dorm with, but when she brought along her best friend Tyla from a few doors down- the three of you fell into a quick and beautiful friendship, like the ones in the movies.
Jackie and Tyla were definitely more on the party girl side than the study girl side, but that was what was so great about your friendship. You reminded them that they did in fact have homework, and they pushed you to do things like this every once in a while.
This was the first time you had ever suggested it. Midterms were over- it would be wrong to not celebrate. To breathe in the few seconds you had left as a freshman, before it all got turned up again for sophomore year.
“Okay,” Jackie breathes, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “Take a deep breath, babe. The fit is a lot, yes, but it’s gorgeous. I mean, damn, where have you been hiding that ass?”
You bite your lip, eyes tearing away from the pictures, meeting Jackie’s eyes in the reflection.
“My ass does look really good,” you concede.
“Hell yeah it does!” Jackie shouts, smiling brightly. “Don’t be nervous, okay? It’s just some random frat party. We can go sit outside if it gets too much.”
It’s break. It’s Friday night. You look good, however uncomfortable you are.
“Fuck,” you mumble. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
“You’re good?”
“I’m just gonna do a few shots when we get there.”
“That’s my girl.”
Jackie thinks for a moment. “Besides, I think it’s a party to celebrate the girls hockey team winning a game, or something like that. The attention is gonna be far away from you. But…”
She trails off, picking at a piece of thread hanging from her comforter.
“What?” You ask, heart jumping to your throat in fear.
“Dylan might be there,” she shrugs.
Ugh.
Dylan.
Dylan wasn’t even that big of a problem, just a boy you had overzealously dated right when you got to college, when you were adjusting and still kind of lonely, only to find out his obsessive, stalker-ish personality was literal hell to be in a relationship with.
After maybe a week of constant love-bombing and clinginess, you broke up with him- and he tried for literal months to get your attention before he finally seemed to give up.
Once in a while, you’d see him at these parties, and he’d stare at you in a way that was probably supposed to be sexy, but was only weird and uncomfortable.
“Who gives a fuck about him?” You ask, your own surprise reflected in Jackie’s face.
“Damn, girl. Yeah, you’re fuckin’ right. Who gives a fuck about his sad ass?”
“I don’t,” you scoff, refusing to let him ruin your night.
The bathroom door slams open suddenly, revealing Tyla in an even more revealing black dress. Skin tight with cut outs showing her dark skin.
“Jesus Christ, I pity the other girls at that bar.” Tyla runs her hands down her sides, smiling brightly in a way that can only be joking.
And you laugh, and you laugh when she softly bumps you away from the mirror and admires herself even more.
—-
Because of this rash decision to go out, Tyla hadn’t done her usual shopping for the pregame so you were forced to go to the party early- which Tyla actually groaned at and complained about how “embarrassing” it was. But after a few shots, that embarrassment fell away and she was back to being the funny, confident girl you knew her as.
You talked amongst the three of you, and with the two boys who were acting as bartenders, until more and more people slowly started filing in and the sky got dark. It was probably close to 10pm by the time the party really got busy, and those first two hours faded into a montage of alcohol stinging your throat and the sounds of your best friends laughing.
When the hockey team finally arrived, you were sitting on a couch with your girls, Tyla talking in this played-up sensual voice to a random boy who had taken an interest in her, while you and Jackie were busy scouting out the new arrivals and the different kinds of alcohol they placed on the table.
Even if Jackie hadn’t off-handedly mentioned it earlier, you quickly would have found out who this party was for. A large group of girls walked into the party, immediately met with cheers and shots, swarmed with alcohol and congratulations.
Some guy, probably one who actually lived in this house, whipped out a shitty megaphone and shouted their arrival, but it wasn’t even that loud.
Even you, however studious you were, knew about the girl’s hockey team. A bunch of them had played on the Olympic team a few years ago, and all the students of this D1 school were generally pretty proud that the Wisconsin team had won the most national championships.
Most of them were wearing their jerseys, but a few had dressed up. The girl’s hockey team was probably the hottest, most talented group of girls to ever be within 100 feet of you.
It was almost unfair how all of them were so beautiful and so talented, but you suppose that the rigorous workout schedules of Olympic and national athletes didn’t leave a lot of room for anything other than a fuck ton of muscles.
God, half of them towered over you and all of them could probably break your wrist with just a flick.
It was impressive.
What was most impressive, though, is the way the infamous Caroline Harvey walked in carrying about 27 cases of beer, which must have weighed as much as this fucking house, and effortlessly set it all on the ground beside the table full of red solo cups, chasers, and bottles of vodka.
Cheers rang out and people scrambled towards it, ripping the cardboard boxes open greedily and opening them just as fast.
You watched, hiding your parted mouth with your hand, as Caroline accepted an open beer from someone, cheers with a few of her teammates and drank a long sip. When she was done, she laughed and lifted her shirt to her mouth to wipe off some stray liquid, a movement that let just a sliver of her toned abs peek through.
“Holy fuck,” you whispered, quickly looking to the floor and deciding hockey was your new favorite sport.
You knew her from around campus, you both liked to study in the library at the same time- around 3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it became kind of tradition to just stare at her for a few minutes in between sections of your work. Almost like some weird little reward. You did feel kind of bad about it, but fuck, there was no way you could stop.
Besides, it’s not like she noticed.
You always sat on opposite sides of the library, and she never once even looked in your direction. What Caroline didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and you never see her unless it’s at the library or in passing at parties. But, God, doesn’t it feel good to just relish in how beautiful she is and stare for just a bit.
“Y/N, babe.”
Jackie knocked herself into you, her knees tucked up to her chest, some sort of a smile on her face.
“What’cha doin’?” She asks, smiling in a way that can only be described as evil. “Starin’? Hockey player pique your interest, huh?”
“No,” you say, forcing a laugh into your voice and rolling your eyes. “Just lookin’ at all the commotion.”
You’re trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but now that Jackie’s mentioned it- those abs did pique your interest. And now they came flashing behind your eyes every time you blink.
“Oh, my God, I think I’m in heat,” you mumble, slightly to yourself and slightly to Jackie.
She wraps a lazy arm around your shoulder, letting out a sigh. “Oh, sweet girl, don’t worry. I’ve got you. Which one is it?”
“Caroline,” you mumble, so quiet and so sudden before you can really think about it.
Jackie hums, tilting her head to the side. “Don’t know a whole lot about her, but I heard she had a girlfriend freshman year, so definitely into girls. Not dating anyone right now, though. Olympian, hockey player, all that sexy stuff.”
“Mhmmmmm,” you mumble, sneaking a quick glance and then looking away immediately when she takes another sip of her drink, not wanting to know what would happen if you caught another glimpse of those god-sent abs.
“You gonna do somethin’ about it?” Jackie asks, nudging your head with hers.
“No, no,” you dismiss. “Just… being a freak. Admiring. God, I’m pathetic.”
Jackie laughs, abruptly standing and pulling you to your feet too. “Come on, babe, time for more drinks, let’s get your mind off of this if you’re not gonna make a move.”
You roll your eyes but follow her to the table of drinks farthest away from Caroline and the other hockey players. You’re not going to do anything, it’s not like you have a chance, and you’re just bored without schoolwork to occupy your every thought.
You take a deep breath, standing next to Jackie and surveying your options. Jackie choses for the both of you, definitely the more experienced party girl, mixing a drink that is majority vodka, making you groan slightly just at the thought of it.
“Here you go!” Jackie smiles, placing the red solo cup into your hand, smiling like she’s not trying to give you alcohol poisoning. Her gaze fixes on something behind you, and you faintly register the way her eyes light up- already a little tipsy from the few shots you’ve done- but you can’t even be bothered to question why.
You eye your drink suspiciously, mentally preparing yourself for the taste.
“Whoops,” Jackie mutters, and you look up at her only to feel her push you back.
“Jackie-” you start, angry, and she quickly scurries away from you. You want to kill her a little bit, at least question her- but you don’t get the chance to.
You gasp as you slam into someone behind you, drink splashing all over your front, alcohol mixing with the rich velvet texture of your shirt in a way that might very well ruin it. You bite your lip, glancing around the room, grateful that the room is so crowded and busy that no one noticed.
“Damn Harvey, knockin’ girls over on and off the ice,” someone laughs. You think you hear the sound of someone lightly hitting another person, followed by a small “ow.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
You turn around, Jackie nowhere to be found, and completely freeze when you realize not only did the person you slammed into have enough decency to ask if you were okay, but that person was fucking Caroline Harvey.
You would have laughed at how cliche it was if you weren’t so secretly exhilarated. The only reason you even had this drink was to stop shamefully staring at her.
But she’s right in front of you… and she looks even better like this, cheeks slightly flushed already from the alcohol, a glint in her eyes.
Her eyes meet yours, staring at you in obvious confusion and concern- “Hey? You okay?”
She places her hand on your waist and you suddenly return back into your body, looking anywhere but her eyes that were literally fucking drowning you.
“I’m sorry,” you gasp. “I-I’m fine. I’m just, like, really drunk.” You laugh, awkwardly, trying to pretend that you’re talking to just anyone. Trying to pretend like her hand on your waist wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.
She smiles, Jesus Christ that fucking smile, your knees go a little weak.
“Oh, good. Would be a shame if that pretty head got a concussion.”
You laugh, staring at her smile. Intoxicating. It’s the only word that comes to mind- maybe enchanted. She’s like some drug, and, God, it’s so stupid but you think you might be addicted after hearing her voice just once.
And, the suddenly, so vividly you almost fall over again, you realize what she said to you.
“Here, let me help you,” she says, effortlessly taking the now pretty much empty red solo cup from you and placing it on the table behind you, wrapping her arm around your waist and leading you to what you assume is a bathroom, probably where she was originally going. “I’m Caroline, but you can call me KK.”
Your mouth is slightly agape as she leads you through the crowd, and you suddenly pass by Jackie who gives you a big smile and a thumbs up- disappearing into the crowd before you can curse her name.
Fuck it. She’s right in front of you. The alcohol is getting to your head, the dim lighting is making everything hazy- everything except her pretty blue eyes and her intoxicating smile.
“KK,” you say, testing the nickname. “That’s cute. I’m Y/N.”
“That’s cute,” she echoes, and the way you can hear the smile on her voice seriously makes you almost fall over.
Thankfully, the bathroom she leads you to is kind of out of the way, it’s completely empty and the door clicks behind the two of you.
Your mood immediately deflates when you see yourself in the mirror, your top noticeably darker where sticky alcohol has sunk into the fabric.
“Fuck,” you mumble, peeling the sticky fabric from your skin.
Before you can even think to do anything, Caroline- KK- is running a random hand towel under the sink and gesturing to you. You expect her to hand it to you- but she doesn’t.
“Okay if I touch you?”
God in Heaven.
“Y-yeah,” you choke out, feeling your world literally recalibrate when she puts her hand on your shoulder- so fucking close to your neck- to keep you steady. You always thought it was the stereotype that basketball players have big hands, but apparently hockey players do too.
Her hand is really warm. This bathroom is suddenly really warm. Your cheeks are heating up, and as much as you try to tell yourself it’s from the alcohol- you know it’s not.
“Sorry,” she mumbles after a few more seconds. “I don’t think this is gonna do much. Maybe try putting it in the wash, though.”
You sigh, now turned sideways, hip to the bathroom sink, looking at yourself out of the corner of your eye.
“It’s fine, my friend… bumped into me, and then I backed up straight into you. Not your fault.”
You look up at her, realizing at this close proximity that she’s taller than you, maybe only an inch.
“I might just go home,” you sigh, feeling kind of disgusting in this nasty shirt.
A frown immediately forms on her face.
“Party’s just started, though. Can’t go home yet, baby.”
She wants you to die. She literally wants you to die. She’s secretly an assassin, and you’ve blocked out the memory of some horrible crime you’ve committed, and now she’s here to kill you by calling you baby and having the sexiest abs you’ve ever seen.
Not a bad way to go, though.
“Here,” she says, reaching up and tugging her jersey over her head, again revealing those fucking abs, and she’s left in a black tank top you didn’t even notice the first time you were staring at her abs. “Take my jersey.”
“Oh, no. I can’t, KK. I mean…”
“I was getting hot anyways, it’s good. Take it.”
It’s nicer quality than any other jersey you’ve ever touched before- nicer than the obligatory Wisconsin sweatshirt you bought at the school store.
You cough, taking it with a hand that shakes slightly, not able to look at her.
“…Thank you,” you say after a moment.
She smiles, big and goofy. “It’s no problem. Maybe you can repay me by having a drink with me, though?”
You pretend to think about it, but really you have to knock your knees together so you don’t fall to the floor in excitement.
“That’s a pretty good price.”
You finally meet her eyes, holding your breath as she stares into your eyes like they’re a lifeline.
“Yeah, a drink with my sexy self- pretty good fuckin’ deal.”
You laugh, and she takes a step back, looking you up and down in a way that literally gives you butterflies-
“I’ll let you change,” she says. “Come find me when you’re done, yeah, baby?”
“I’ll find you,” you breathe, turning around to start slipping off your shirt so she doesn’t see the way you literally bite your lip.
The jersey is huge, since they have to be to cover all the padding and gear hockey players wear, and you’re almost worried that you’d look really stupid in it- but your jean bottoms pull it together, somehow.
It smells good. It smells dark, like a forest, still with a hint of something fresh and light. Is this her perfume? You might want to bathe in it.
You still look pretty good, and your mind races, wondering if KK would compliment you in it- but someone bangs on the bathroom door.
“Y/N?!” Jackie. “Y/N? Holy fucking shit- did I just see what I think I saw?!”
Tyla quickly shouts too. “I got dragged away from a really hot guy for this!! Please tell me it’s true!!!”
You open the door wordlessly, holding your hands out wide so Jackie and Tyla can see the the jersey, the Badgers emblem.
“Ladies, hold your applause.”
“What the fuck!” Tyla screams, forcing you to turn around, then tracing a finger along your back, no doubt where Caroline’s last name is printed on. “Harvey. Fucking Caroline Harvey.”
“God, she’s so hot,” Jackie groans, and you whip around to shoot her a glare. “Calm down, jealous bitch, I mean this is hot. Fuck, does she have any friends? This red is a good color on me…”
“Well,” you smile, mirroring Jackie’s own “evil” smile from earlier, “She said to come find her and get a drink. With her.”
“A drink…” Tyla breathes. “With… fucking Caroline Harvey?”
“Fucking Caroline Harvey.”
“I think I might faint from, like, secondhand hotness.”
“Well,” Jackie starts, looking away from the jersey in awe and back at your face, “You look hot. Go over there right now, get that girl, and make out. Just- right on the couch. Fuck right on the couch.”
“I second that,” Tyla smiles, adjusting the jersey slightly. “Fuck her.”
“Okay, shut up, thanks. We’ll see where the night goes.”
“Oh, my God, I can’t even believe you’re doing this. What happened to my little studious best friend?”
“Alcohol,” you shrug, momentarily wondering if you would regret all of this the next morning- but everything is just so goddamn hazy in this frat house, and you can’t think straight, can’t think about anything other than her.
“Okay, okay,” Tyla says, grabbing your shoulders and staring into your eyes like she’s about to gift you with the greatest wisdom. “You want her to come back?”
You inhale sharply. “Maybe.”
“Okay, well, if this goes good- you gotta leave her before midnight.” She glances at her watch, “It’s 11:06 right now, flirt her and romance her, all that, but leave before midnight, got it?”
“Um… why, though?”
“To keep her guessing, to keep her thinking about you, obviously,” Tyla rolls her eyes. “Trust me girl. We’ll meet you outside at 12 and then take an Uber back, right?”
“Right,” you and Jackie both repeat.
“If you really want her, before midnight, okay?”
“Okay, okay, Tyla. I’ll meet you guys then?”
Jackie pretends to wipe a few tears away. “My girl’s all grown up.”
“Shut up,” you laugh, hugging both of them quickly before disappearing into the crowd of people.
—-
You make your way towards a big couch, some armchairs, and a coffee table filled with liquor.
KK’s eyes light up when she sees you, and you notice there’s a conveniently placed empty seat right next to her, and two cups in her hands.
You don’t think anyone has noticed you wearing her jersey yet, and if someone has commented on KK’s lack of jersey, you can’t tell. You smooth it down, take a deep breath and plaster a smile on your face.
A seductive one, you hope, one like Tyla would do. And with the way she mirrors your smile with her own- except this one is just as big and goofy- you think it’s working.
“Y/N?”
Someone walks past you, then immediately stops and steps back, looking right at you.
“Yeah-?”
Oh.
“Hi, Dylan,” you mutter, smile falling from your face immediately.
“Y/N. I haven’t seen you in… forever, it feels like. How’ya been?”
“I’m fine, Dylan. I’m sorry, I’m meeting somebody, okay?” His face falls, and you feel sort of bad, so you add on “Talk soon,” to make yourself feel better.
“Wait,” he says, grabbing your arm, eyes moving from yours down to your outfit. “The fuck are you wearing? A jersey?”
“…Yes,” you say after a moment, genuinely confused until you remember how much Dylan despises sports, thinks they’re all just some popularity contest. “Okay, I’m meeting someone. Bye, Dylan.”
“Hi,” a new voice says, and you smile just a bit when you realize it’s Caroline. “I’m Caroline,” she says, ever-so politely, and it kinda makes your stomach twist. “Are you a friend of Y/N’s?”
Dylan’s eyes narrow at her. “No, I’m her ex.”
“Oh, my God,” you mumble to yourself, stepping close to Caroline. “Shut up.”
KK shoots you a look, and you can’t help but avoid your eyes. You tug your arm away from Dylan, but he doesn’t budge.
“Dylan, please,” you sigh. “I have to go, okay? Let go.”
“No, Y/N, come on-”
“Uh, I think she said let go, buddy.” She still has that same smile on her face, but your eyes flick to her exposed arms, now noticing just how much muscle is there too. There’s this glint to her smile, this edge to her voice, and you would genuinely be kinda scared if it was directed at you.
“This doesn’t involve you,” Dylan huffs. “Y/N and I need to talk- why the fuck are you going around trying to purposefully piss me off? You know I hate sports.”
“Dylan,” you start, genuinely having to take a deep breath. “We dated for a week in freshman year. Let go of me, stop embarrassing yourself, and stop talking to us.”
He stares at you, before scoffing and letting your arm drop. “You’re such a fucking bitch.”
“Okay,” you sigh. “Thank you, Dylan, goodbye.” You turn around, wondering if KK is even going to be there anymore. “I’m sorry-”
“What the fuck is his problem?” She says, and you genuinely smile at the pure disgust on her face. “Seriously- what?”
“I’m sorry,” you giggle. “It’s just… you’re so, disgusted by him.”
“You aren’t?”
“Well, yeah. But I know him.”
“And I’m sorry for that. I met him once and I never want to meet him again. Weird fucking bitch.”
You laugh again, linking your arm through hers without thinking. “Thanks for trying to defend me, though. I’m sorry- he’s just… an annoying bug that won’t go away, normally he doesn’t talk to me- but I guess he was bored tonight.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry, I think we lost the seats I saved.”
You look towards the couch, now completely filled with hockey players. “It’s okay,” you hum. “We can find somewhere else. Wanna go outside?”
—-
With the hum of the party behind you, and the stream of people walking out and walking in, the little bench on the corner of the porch was shrouded in darkness, and you felt like you were just in your own little corner with KK.
You sipped on the drink she had gotten you, exchanging basic information like what majors you were taking, how many siblings you had, and al that boring stuff before she finally stopped talking and just looked at you for a moment.
“What?” you asked, wiping some of your sip from around your lips.
She smiles. “Nothing. My jersey just looks nice on you.”
“Oh,” you say, stupidly. “Really? I was worried it didn’t get the same vibe as my original fit.”
“No, I would say you look even better.”
You smile, taking another sip for confidence before you place your hand on her arm. “So, tell me about hockey. Maybe workout routines?”
She laughs. “Workout routines?”
You softly squeeze her bicep. “Well, you don’t get these by just sitting around, do you?”
She takes a sip of her drink, trying to slyly cover her face, and you smile even wider.
“No, you don’t.” When she looks back at you, there’s the faintest hint of something on her cheeks, you don’t move your hand, sinking back into that addiction of making her blush. “Mostly lifting weights, cardio, boring things.”
“M’kay, what about actual hockey? I heard you were an Olympian, right?”
She flexes her other arm, and you can see a tattoo made up of the Olympics logo, intertwining rings, on her inner bicep.
“I’m defense, number 4, and I’m basically the star of the team.”
“Really?” You laugh, pressing your thigh against hers. “Would your other teammates agree with that?”
“Ehhh, maybe don’t ask them so you stay all impressed.”
You smile, and suddenly you realize you’ve been smiling all night ever since you started talking to her. And it feels so good to smile with her, it feels so good to be all giddy, and even when Dylan was bothering you it felt good knowing she was right behind you. And it felt even better when you turned around and she was still behind you.
“Can I have your number?” You blurt out.
“Course, baby.”
You hand her your phone, feeling like a damn middle schooler with a raging crush, and she hands you hers.
You make your contact name Jersey Stealer and she laughs when she sees it, and that sound might be your favorite thing about her- second only to her abs.
You can feel the night coming to the end, but it’s a good end, a comfortable one, and there’s definitely doors unopened and words unsaid. It feels like a really sweet beginning to something really beautiful.
You check your phone, smiling at the contact name of Hockey Star and seeing the time is 11:58.
“My friends are waiting for me,” you say, almost with a grimace. The night is coming to an end but you still don’t want it to end. And like clockwork, you watch as Jackie and Tyla walk out of the party arm in arm- sneaking subtle glances all the way to the end of the driveway, eventually disappearing out of sight behind a tree.
“Oh,” she says. “No problem.”
She sounds disappointed. It makes your stomach twist yet again, to know she doesn’t want this to end as much as you do.
You both stand up and walk to the edge of the porch, down the steps and onto the concrete walkway to the driveway. Somewhere along the way, your hand had slipped into yours.
You stop where concrete meets driveway, turning around to face her. She tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to the feeling of her skin on yours. It feels like an electric rush, like an addictive high.
“I’m really glad I give you a concussion.”
You laugh. “I’m glad you didn’t either.”
She looks from your lips back to your eyes, and you’re suddenly reminded that, yes, kissing exists- and you suddenly want to kiss her. Badly.
Fuck.
“Okay, well, I’ll let you go.”
You softly place your hand on her face. You lean forward, placing your lips in a grey area between her cheek and her lips.
“Goodnight, Caroline,” you whisper, an inch away from her skin.
Suddenly she surges forward, lips fully pressing against yours, hand on your waist, and God does the feeling of her lips on yours feel so good, so right.
Oh, God. She’s succeeded in killing you, you think to yourself- everything fading out for a moment before it all comes rushing back in. The sounds of the party, the chill of the nighttime air, and the sweet sweet feeling of Caroline’s lips on yours.
You don’t think your lips will ever recover from this feeling, from the weight of her lips on yours- you’ll always be chasing this feeling, this moment.
Tyla’s words flash in your mind. You revel in this moment for a heartbeat longer until, just as quick as she kissed you, you pull back.
“Didn’t know you were the type to kiss girls on the first date, Harvey. How scandalous.”
She seems disappointed you pulled away. You can see it in her pretty blue eyes- it makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.
“Are you really just any girl?”
“Nope,” you smile, silently thanking Tyla and every star in the sky- you can see it in her eyes, the way she wants to kiss you senseless, and if the game didn’t feel so good you would have let her.
And the way she’s looking at you, slightly blown away, completely in awe, lips parted but curling into a smile- it gives you an addictive rush.
“Text me when you want your jersey back.”
You take a step back, softly prying her hand off of your waist, but holding onto it for a moment.
“Oh, no, you can wear that to my next game.”
“Really?” You smile, fingertips grazing the back of her knuckles as she tries to hold onto you, but you eventually let go. “You’ll save me a good seat?”
“The best seat,” she corrects. “For the best girl.”
This time, you don’t bother to try and hide the way she makes you feel. You clench your thighs together and let your tongue dart out to slightly lick your lips.
“I’ll be there. You better win, though.” You turn around, then look over your shoulder to see her eyes fall down to your ass.
“With a pretty good luck charm like you? I’ll probably score the winning goal.”
“Bye, Caroline,” you say over your shoulder, smiling so brightly you’re sure you look all lovesick. You can’t care, it’s just how you feel for her. Maybe you should be embarrassed, the way she makes you feel kinda like silly putty in her hands, but it feels so good. So right.
“Bye, Y/N.” Her voice is breathy.
And when you check your phone, you see it’s after midnight. So much for Tyla’s advice.
But, you think to yourself, shoes clicking on concrete and KK’s gaze on your back, you kissed her after midnight- maybe all the good things just happen after midnight.
—-
laila when kk hit her for saying the taking girls down on and off the ice thing: 😞😞😞💔💔💔💔💔
y/n also being happy that she left kk AFTER midnight bc she doesn’t just want her she actually likes her
jackie and tyla wingwoman supremes i love them sm
dylan you are annoying i wish you suffering
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Part 8: The Toxic In Intoxication
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 9 - Part 10
Your mouth is poison (your mouth is wine)
(In which an all over the place writer, writes something that's a little bit all over the place)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy,
Words: 9.0K
TW: Swearing, a little bit of violence, mentions of blood, men being men
A/N: Hi lovelies :) Unfortunately, as I've been warning y'all for a while, the deadline did finally slip through my fingers. However I'm hoping y'all will forgive me for it because I am only one day late and this chapter is quite long. I do wanna warn y'all in advance that there won't be a chapter next week because I am going on vacation and my laptop is staying very, very far away from me. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing but I'm hoping y'all will enjoy it anyways. I did actually edit this time but who knows how successful that was, so please let me know about typos/mistakes. As always, feel free to tell me about what you liked, what you disliked and anything you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your weeks my loves <3
August 2025
Azzi Fudd is a spectacular liar. She excels at keeping up a façade of yes everything is perfectly fine in front of her friends and family. She’s quite good at tricking people she can barely stand into thinking oh yes i’m totally enjoying this conversation. But the person Azzi lies the most to, is without a doubt herself. As she steps out of the car into the hot Indiana air, bustling with noises from the growing crowd inside, Azzi internally repeats a lie to herself again: she did not show up to all-star weekend for a glimpse of her ex girlfriend. She’s here, as per Colleen’s managerial advice, to build connections, to further her career and to expand on opportunities in the basketball world. The fact that Paige Bueckers, who Azzi hasn’t seen in three months -the longest period of time they’d spent apart since she’d started at UConn- is definitely also going to be attending tonight’s party, is merely a happenstance.
Taking a deep breath, Azzi puts one kitten heeled foot in front of the other, trying to ignore her heightened nerves. This isn’t her preferred scene by any means. She’d much rather be back in her hotel room, curled on her couch with a book and a pint of ice cream. It’s not that Azzi doesn’t like parties; she has her fair share of fun at Ted’s, but it’s the unfamiliarity of the environment and the lack of that once ever present comforting hand that used to tap out i’m here for you against the back of her own at big events like these, that has her yearning to crawl back into the car and hide away.
“Azzi?” a familiar voice calls from behind her and Azzi lets out a sigh of relief as she sees Aaliyah walking towards her with a large welcoming grin, “Azeray!”
“Li-Li. Thank god you’re here,” Azzi reaches up to hug her former teammate, mentally thanking whatever god was looking out for her. She’d dreaded walking in by herself and now she wouldn’t have to. Really she probably should probably send Coach a ‘thank you’ text for having so many alumni in the league that there was bound to be a Husky she could attach herself to for the night.
“I’m glad to see you too Az,” Aaliyah says, pulling away and looking at Azzi with a semi-concerned look, “but you seem a little extra relieved to see me? You good dude?”
“Just- just a little nervous,” Azzi admits, shuffling her feet uneasily.
Realization dawns on Aaliyah’s face, “cause of Paige?”
“No you know I don’t like big unfamiliar places,” Azzi sighs when Aaliayh gives her a pointed look, “but I guess maybe- maybe a little cause of Paige.”
The Mystics forward shakes her head before linking her arms through Azzi’s, “I swear, I leave y’all for one year and everything implodes-," she bites her tongue, "shit was that insensitive?”
“No,” Azzi grimaces, “that’s pretty much exactly what happened.”
Something hard coils in her stomach at Aaliyah’s words. The truth is they’d been fine. Better than fine even. And then suddenly Azzi was lighting a box of matches she hadn’t even known she was holding and her whole world was on fire; an implosion of everything Azzi had once thought inflammable. She’d burned her hands trying to rescue them and all she has to show for it are invisible red hot pustules that refuse to heal. But perhaps, she thinks, that’s what a pyromaniac like her had deserved.
Azzi cowers under the flashing lights of the cameras, clinging tighter to Aaliyah’s arm as the two of them make their way onto the orange carpet, the cameramen immediately swinging their devices to capture the college basketball player more than likely to be the number one pick in next year’s WNBA draft. She feels herself tense under their piercing gaze, anchored only by Aaliyah's strong and steady presence next to her. And as they pose for the cameras, she’s thankful for her former teammate’s company but she can’t shake the feeling that it should have been someone else.
“And look who we have here,” Lexie Brown says excitedly as the two of them approach the interviewer, “y’all Huskies clean up nice.”
“We try, we try,” Aaliyah answers charismatically, doing a little hair flip to match her tone.
“Aaliyah, it's your first all-star nod, how are you feeling?”
“I feel great, you know it’s always good to see yourself being acknowledged and being an all-star has always been a goal of mine. So, I hope it’s the first of many and I’m just hoping my team gets the W tomorrow,” Aaliyah answers diplomatically.
Lexie turns to Azzi, “I bet you’re really proud of her. I mean you’ve got a couple of teammates who are first-time all stars between Aaliyah and Paige. You’ve gotta be feeling pretty proud of them”
“Y-yeah I mean,” Azzi clears her throat, trying not to flinch at the mention of Paige’s name, “It’s been- it’s been really exciting to watch them and I’m extremely proud-”
She’s cut off by the sound of excited chatter filling up the air and Azzi doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s just entered the premises. Not when she has a whole separate sensory system that flares up just for her. Azzi’s skin prickles as she registers the sound of familiar peals of laughter echoing from the orange carpet. She digs her nails into the palm of her hand, forcing herself not to turn around.
“Speak of the devil,” Lexie says goodnaturedly, getting her hand ready to beckon the blonde over and Azzi feels panic suffocate her lungs, not quite ready to face Paige yet.
“Oh I don’t think-” Aaliyah tries to cut in, glancing worriedly at her friend but it’s too late.
“Paige,” Lexie calls out, beaming over Azzi’s head at the Dallas Wings’ newest star point guard.
The world seems to move in slow motion as Azzi feels Paige getting closer and closer to her. She smells the faint scent of fresh mint weaved with a hint of citrus first. Then she hears the sound of Paige’s breathing, perfectly even to anybody else but Azzi can hear the staggered harshness hidden beneath it. And as the blonde passes over her to settle on Lexi’s other side, she feels Paige’s arm brush against her own and it hurts to breathe. The contact lasts for a second but Azzi swears it’ll last forever, tattooing itself on her bicep as a wretched reminder of a touch she’s no longer allowed to crave.
It’s funny, there’s a hurricane swirling between them and Paige can barely look at Azzi, keeping her eyes firmly on Lexie and Aaliyah as she greets the trio. And yet, there’s a sense of calm -of peace- that seems to wash over Azzi just by having Paige near her again. The older woman seems to possess some sort of magical power that weaves itself into Azzi’s nervous system, soothing away her frazzled nerves with an unspoken promise of and if you give me the chance i’ll make it all okay.
Despite the hectic transition from a full college season to a frantic W season, Paige looks ethereal as always. Her two piece cropped vest top and straight fitted pants match the color of her eyes and a silver chain dangles across her chest. Two strands of blonde hair hide her signature diamond studs, the rest of it pulled back into a slightly messy bun. Azzi gulps at the way the vest top parts right above her midriff, Paige’s toned abs playing peek-a-boo behind it. She lets her eyes roam over Paige’s exposed arms, trying to ignore memories of how they used to go taut under her touch, down to the blonde’s bare fingers and she feels her heart constrict. No rings. It feels wrong. But then again, nothing has felt right for three months.
“Azzi,” Aaliyah hisses and Azzi snaps out of her thoughts, realizing she’d been asked a question.
“Sorry,” she laughs nervously, moving a strand of her hair out of her face; Paige’s eyes intently following the movement, “what was the question.”
Lexie smiles, “I was just asking about your thoughts on Paige’s amazing rookie year so far?”
“Oh um-” Azzi hesitates, shivers inching up her spine as she feels Paige drinking in the sight of the her body like she's a woman parched, “I’m just-” their eyes lock with each other’s and everything else seems to vanish until it feels like it’s just the two of them floating in between remnants of what they used to be, “I’m just really proud of her. I always knew she’d be amazing. She’s just doing what she always does. Being the best player she can be. So yeah I’m just- I’m just really proud of her.”
And Azzi doesn’t know how they got to this point where Paige seems almost shocked that Azzi could be proud of her, to this point where there’s droplets threatening to spill over both of their water lines and they no longer have the right to wipe each other’s tears away.
“Aww,” Lexie coos, oblivious to the tension, “well on that sweet note, off y’all go and we’ll see y’all later.”
The walk into the party is kept alive with Aaliyah’s attempt at keeping a conversation going. While Paige tries to at least entertain some of, Azzi finds herself completely zoning out until they finally make their way inside into the cacophony of music and laughter.
“Y’all wanna get-” Aaliyah begins.
“I see Jewell and Téa,” Paige cuts her off immediately, her legs already moving in a rush, “I’ll see y’all later.”
She gives Aaliyah a tentative grin but barely looks at Azzi as she practically trips over her pant-sleeves trying to get away. It feels like something’s biting against her skin, sharp teeth indenting you did this to yourself as Azzi watches Paige walk away. She watches as the tension slowly leaves the blonde’s muscles as she’s pulled into a hug by Jewell and then by Téa. The fake smile that she’d politely kept on her face the last couple of minutes for the sake of the cameras and reporters is replaced by something far more genuine. Azzi watches as Paige is absorbed into the warmth of the growing crowd, embraced by a league that adores her, and she feels the ice cold pinch of she belongs somewhere without you now start to freeze her own heart.
***
Azzi’s doing fine. She’s gotten through the night with Aaliyah by her side, making small talk with a bunch of different players and she’s managed to keep a friendly smile the whole time. She’d even danced for a little bit, letting loose with some of the other college basketball players that had made the trip to Indianapolis. Sure, she’d occasionally been distracted by her eyes flickering over to the bar and finding a new pretty influencer batting their fake eyelashes at Paige but really she’s doing fine. Her head’s a little dizzy and maybe the third shot of tequila, influenced by a one leggy brunette that had gotten a little too handsy, wasn’t her brightest decision of the night but really, Azzi’s doing fine.
Until she’s not.
And it’s Paige's fault. She had to know that it would be Azzi’s last straw. She had to know that Azzi could live with watching a thousand girls flirt with Paige as long as the blonde in question stood rigidly by the bar doing nothing but smiling politely at them. She had to know that Azzi, after having spent most of their college life watching girls fawn over her girlfriend, could deal with the flirty hands that lingered just a little too long on Paige’s bicep. But it’s when Paige leans into this one girl -whose dark curls and tanned caramel skin are just a little too reminiscent of her own- when Paige’s lips graze just a little to close this one girl’s ear, that Azzi realizes she’s decidedly not fine.
“I need some air,” she manages to bite out, ignoring Aaliyah’s concerned look as she marches out the back door, heading towards the deck.
Azzi buries her face in her hands as she leans back against the brick wall. She knows she’s being unfair; knows she has absolutely no right to feel this way but something burns within her anyways and the light breeze does nothing to cool it down.
“I’m not cheating on you,” a harsh voice interrupts her pity party and Azzi sucks in a sharp breath, “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Paige’s voice is laced with accusation, “because the way you just stormed out says otherwise.”
Azzi continues to keep her head in her palms, refusing to look at the blonde, “it’s hot and stuffy in there. I just needed some fresh air.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of lying,” Paige spits out.
“Well what do you want me to say instead?” Azzi finally looks up, her even cadence in stark contrast to Paige’s fiery tone, “I know we’re not together-”
“Because that’s what you wanted-”
“I know,” Azzi yells, and then quieter, “I know. I know I- I know I did this. But that- that doesn’t make it any easier to see you with someone else,” she swallows, “doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”
Paige scoffs, rubbing her face as she begins to pace, “you miss me? I was at Mohegan when y’all had summer camp. The whole team showed up to the game except for you and you want me to believe that you miss me?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me there,” Azzi confesses in a whisper, “you were so mad at me after-after everything- and I just- I didn’t want to ruin coming back to Connecticut for you.”
“For me,” Paige lets out a laugh devoid of any emotion, “god Azzi there you go again with this fake ‘selfless’ bullshit.”
A thousand and one retorts die on the tip of Azzi’s tongue as she shakes her head and pushes herself off the wall. She can smell the alcohol on Paige, can tell the blonde is itching for an argument but all she feels is pure exhaustion.
“I don’t wanna fight Paige. I’m tired and I just-” she bites her lip, fighting the urge to caress Paige’s cheek, “believe it or don’t but- I really do miss you.”
Sparks of electricity dance their way through Azzi’s veins when Paige curls a hand around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks from going inside. And suddenly she doesn’t feel so cold anymore.
“Dance with me,” Paige whispers.
“What?”
Paige shrugs, tugging on Azzi’s hand to pull her closer, “you said you don’t wanna fight and I- I don’t want you to go,” the confession hangs between them as Paige’s hands fall to Azzi’s waist, “so- let’s just- let’s pretend.”
“What are we pretending?” Azzi asks quietly and despite the warnings ringing in her head, she wraps her arms around Paige’s neck. It feels like coming home.
“We’re pretending that we’re okay,” Paige says softly, holding Azzi’s hips as she begins to sway them gently, “we’re pretending that three months ago you said yes.”
“Paige-”
“Close your eyes Azzi,” the blond waves her hand gently across Azzi’s face, willing both of their eyelids to flutter shut, “we’re pretending that we’re not here- we’re in Minnesota or DC or I don’t know just- anywhere. And our families are here, laughing and talking and some sappy romantic song is playing. It's the best day of our lives and we’re both- we're both dressed in white-”
“Paige,” Azzi lets out a sob, as she begins to understand the picture Paige is painting for them; a picture drawn on a canvas that Azzi had torn up before any color could touch it
“Sshhhh just- let me have this okay,” Paige’s voice trembles as she leans her forehead against Azzi’s, “if I can’t have it for real, please just let me pretend.”
If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Azzi would fight Paige’s tightening grip. If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Paige would let go. Instead Azzi lets Paige play pretend, lets them keep their bodies pressed against each other, moving from side to side in rhythm with the wind.
It isn’t until she hears footsteps approaching them that Azzi hurriedly moves away first and she can see the betrayal of if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face. They’re both quick to swap their tears for smiles that don’t reach their eyes as they turn to face the intruders. And Azzi wonders if Paige wishes she’d drank a little bit more too. Because maybe if they were both just a little more drunk, then tomorrow they wouldn’t have to remember just how right it had felt to play pretend tonight.
April 2033
“You look so pretty Mama,” Stephie gushes from where she’s perched on the bed as she watches Azzi put the finishing touches to her makeup
“Thanks baby,” Azzi smiles, blowing a kiss in the mirror.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie flips the running facetime call, skipping over to her mother with the phone in her hand, “doesn’t Mama look beautiful?”
Sixteen years later, and maybe it’s because of all the time they’d missed in between, but Azzi can’t help the bout of shyness that flushes across her features when Stephie places the phone, Paige’s face illuminated all over it, against the mirror so the blonde can get a proper look at Azzi’s outfit.
“You look-” Paige clears her throat, eyes dilated as they rake over Azzi’s whole body, “you look phenomenal.”
“Big word Bueckers,” Azzi teases, trying to disguise her blush, “did you just learn it?”
Paige rolls her eyes, “can’t even give you a compliment without an insult Fudd.”
“You guys argue too much,” Stephie says exasperatedly, shaking her head at the two adults who laugh. The younger girl sometimes seems far wise beyond her age.
“We’re not arguing Stephie, we’re just-” Azzi struggles to think of a word.
“Foreplaying,” Paige mutters under her breath and Azzi immediately glares at her.
“Paige!”
Stephie scrunches up her nose at the screen, “what does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Azzi says shrilly, “Miss Buecks is just making up words.”
“Why would Miss Buecks do that?” Stephie asks, looking back and forth between her mother and the screen.
“Why does Miss Buecks do anything,” Azzi babbles, as she begins to usher Stephie out of her room, “go grab your things Stephie-bean. Mama’s almost ready to drop you off at Nana and Pop’s house.”
Stephie pouts, “I wanna go to the party with you and Miss Buecks. It’s no fair you both get to go and I don’t,” she picks up the phone, looking at Paige with wide guilt-tripping eyes, “don’t you love me Miss Buecks?”
Azzi has to hand it to her daughter. She’s a smart one to choose Paige as the victim of her emotional blackmail, knowing her wiles had long stopped working on her mother.
“You know I’d take you with me if I could Stephie,” Paige says, “but I’ll make it up to you tomorrow I swear.”
Stephie smiles and Azzi shakes her head at how quickly the five-year old’s plan had worked, “you’ll take me to the park and then we’ll get fries and then get ice cream?”
“That’s a lot of junk food Steph-”
“Ssshh Mama,” Stephie chides, “this is between me and Miss Buecks.”
“The park, then fries, then ice cream it is,” Paige concedes and Azzi rolls her eyes.
Stephie grins brightly, puckering her lips to kiss Paige through the phone and eliciting a laugh from the older woman when she cheers, “you’re the best-est-est Miss Buecks. See you in a little bit. Don’t hang up without saying goodnight.”
“I promise I won’t,” Paige calls out after the little girl as Stepehie hands the phone back to Azzi and starts skipping towards her room.
Azzi gives the blonde a look, “we have got to have a conversation about you learning to say no to her.”
Paige shrugs unhelpfully, “I don’t want to learn how to say no to her.”
“You’re a lost cause,” Azzi remarks, hands on hips, “and foreplay? Seriously? Us bickering is not foreplay.”
“Well it could be if you’d just let me fuck you after,” Paige grumbles and Azzi’s mouth falls open at the bluntness of it.
“You say the most romantic things to me Paige Bueckers.”
They’re both quiet for a second as Azzi moves around her room, collecting her wallet and keys and to put into her purse.
“You know there’s still time for me to come pick you up,” Paige says finally.
“Paige,” Azzi sighs, not wanting a rerun of the same argument they’ve been having for the last week. She knows it’s a touchy subject for Paige; that it veers a little too close to insecurities that stem from their past but she’s not quite ready to take this step yet. There isn’t quite any rhyme or reason to her logic except well, she’s haunted by memories of the last time they’d let the personal mix with the professional. Her phone still holds invitations to countless team reunions that she’d actively avoided and a group chat that she’s long muted. Azzi hasn’t stepped foot in the state of Connecticut since she’d entered the draft; she refuses to lose California too.
“Teammates can carpool,” Paige explains vehemently, “it’s easily explainable.’
“I know-”
“Is this about Clémence?” bitterness tinges the edge of Paige’s voice as she chews her bottom lip. And there it is, the other subject they’d been tip-toeing around since it had been brought up at breakfast a week ago. Paige and Azzi are both excellent at avoiding talking about the harder topics but they’ve never quite managed to let anything go forever.
“Why would this be about Clémence?”
Paige narrows her eyes, sitting up from where she’d previously been lounging against her pillow, “maybe you don’t want her to see us together? Maybe you’re trying to spare her feelings I don’t know.”
“Paige-”
“You know what it’s fine,” Paige huffs, “I’ll see you at the bar Azzi.”
She hangs up before Azzi can say anything and the brunette lets out a litany of curses under her breath, annoyed with Paige’s ability to go from A to Z by skipping everything in between. There’s a part of her that knows Paige deserves an explanation about Clémence, a chance to have her lingering doubts confirmed or denied, but amidst the egoistic thoughts of well she married someone else and the self preservationist urge to prevent a potential fight, she hadn’t been brave enough to approach the topic just quite yet. Azzi’s about to step out of the room, when her phone pings with a facetime call from Paige again.
“Are you calling to apologize for hanging up?” Azzi asks with a frown.
“No,” Paige replies stubbornly, “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.”
Something wonderful and warm blooms in Azzi’s chest as she silently walks over to Stephie’s room. This is a new chapter in Paige’s storybook that she’s slowly beginning to read; one scribbled with the blonde’s devotion to Azzi’s baby girl. Azzi still has every other chapter memorized; had thought nothing could be more beautiful than the words within the one that had been dedicated to her. But she’d been wrong. Because every day that she watches Paige and Stephie fall more and more in love with each other, she finds herself falling in love with how much they love each other.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, practically snatching the phone from her mother’s hand as she goofily grins at the screen, “you didn’t hang up.”
“I promised I wouldn’t,” Paige says, the hardness that had existed in her voice while talking to Azzi, dissolving into adulation, “you be good for Nana and Pops okay?”
“I’m always good,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “can you come over really, really, early tomorrow?”
Paige laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I wake up.”
“Good,” Stephie claps contentedly as she grabs Azzi’s hand to start walking towards the car, “good night Miss Buecks.”
“Good night Stephie-bean,” Paige echoes, blowing a kiss through the screen.
“Paige,” Azzi says urgently, trying to stop the older woman from hanging up, “can you just hold on a second while I buckle Stephie in.”
“Az-”
“Please.”
“Fine,” Paige says, averting Azzi’s gaze as she sulks.
Azzi lifts Stephie onto the car seat, fastening her seatbelt and pressing a kiss to her daughter’s cheek, before she closes the car door and uses it as a stabilizing structure to lean on as she pulls her phone back in front of her.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hi,” Paige says back begrudgingly, “you wanted to say something?”
“I-” Azzi swallows, “don’t go the bar-”
“Oh fantastic,” Paige cuts her off, her voice furious as she glares daggers at Azzi through the phone, “not only do you not want to go to the bar together, you don’t want me to go at all. Fine. Okay. Whatever. I won’t go. You have the time of your life with fucking Clementine or whatever-”
“Yet,” Azzi says loudly, trying to speak over Paige’s angry rant, “don’t go to the bar yet.”
“What?”
Azzi licks her lips, “don’t go yet. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents-”
“What does that have to-”
“Will you just let me fucking finish?” Azzi almost bangs her fist on the car in frustration and she’s glad to see that it makes Paige look just a little bit sheepish, “as I was saying. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents and uh- your house- it’s um- it’s on the way to the bar so I thought,” she shrugs with fake nonchalance, the edge of her mouth turning upwards, “I thought maybe- maybe I could pick you up on the way.”
Paige stares blankly at the screen, eyes blinking as Azzi’s words slowly register, “you- you wanna go to the bar together?”
“I didn’t say that,” Azzi teases, eyes twinkling as she basks in the thrill of eliciting that Azzi smile from Paige’s lips, “teammates carpool right?”
“Teammates definitely carpool.”
April 2029
“You invited Clémence to our movie night?” Jana asks in a whisper, as she walks into the kitchen where Azzi’s making popcorn. Her Saturday nights have gotten rather boring since she’s had Stephie, consisting of alternating between movie nights with Jana and dinner with her parents. It wasn’t the most thrilling of times but she looked forward to them all week, excited to not have to spend a night in solitude.
“She asked what I was doing tonight and I told her we were having a movie night and then she asked if she could join and well I couldn’t just say no,” Azzi explains, sticking the bag into the microwave.
Jana cocks an eyebrow, “do you want me to leave?”
“Why would I want you to leave?” Azzi asks, crinkling her nose as she juts out an ear just in case the baby monitor goes off.
“C’mon Az,” Jana says pointedly, leaning on her elbows against the kitchen counter, “you’re telling me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”
Azzi grimaces uneasily, not quite wanting to answer the question, “nothing that would require you to leave.”
“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Jana relents, grabbing a soda from the fridge on her way back to the living room, before she pauses in the doorway to look back at Azzi, “but I know what it looks like when somebody’s in love with you. And that girl out there,” she nods her head towards where Clémence is daintily sitting on the couch, “she’s definitely getting there.”
Jana’s a rather observant person but Azzi knows that she’s at least a little bit wrong this time. Because Clémence might be a little bit in love with -even if that’s not a fact Azzi particularly wants to acknowledge- but it's impossible for her to look at Azzi the way Jana remembers someone else looking at her. That had been something completely different; a gaze that saw all the little chinks in her armor, all the imperfections carved against her walls and loved her inspite of them, maybe even because of them. Clémence might love her, but Azzi doesn’t think anyone can be in love with her the way the person she’d been hopelessly in love with, had.
When she walks back into the living room with the popcorn in hand, still plagued by her younger teammate’s words, Azzi’s deliberate to sit on the couch next to Jana instead of the open space next to the francophone. The flash of hurt in Clémence’s eye causes guilt to trickle down her spine but Azzi thinks a flash is better than the tsunami of pain she could cause if she doesn’t start to ease herself out of this right now. There’s a selfish part of her that doesn’t want to, that’s going to miss having somebody who hangs onto her every word. Azzi likes this feeling of being wanted, even if it’s not by the person she wants. But that person isn’t hers to want anymore and she won’t torture Clémence by barricading her in the same jail that has held Azzi’s soul captive for the last four years.
They’re about half way through the movie, awkward tension eased by Jana’s incessant chatter, when Azzi’s phone buzzes. Already confused at the timing of the call, she’s even more perplexed to see Ice’s name flashing on the screen.
“Oooh Iceyyy,” Jana’s eyes light up when she catches a glimpse of the CallerID, “put her on speaker. Ice is one of our UConn teammates,” she explains, turning to Clémence who nods in recognition, “she probably did something dumb as fuck and need Azzi’s advice.”
“Don’t be mean,” Azzi scolds with a grin, knowing that Jana’s probably right as she picks up the call, “hello-”
“I hate you,” Azzi freezes at the sound of the familiar voice, laced with unfamiliar malice. Next to her Jana stiffens immediately while Clémence observes the scene in front of her with a guarded frown.
“Paige who the fuck are you calling?” Ice’s voice is muffled in the background, “oh shit, Paige give me back my phone.”
“No. She needs to hear this,” Paige grits out, her pitch wavering with the effects of alcohol, “she needs to hear how much I fucking hate her. Azzi do you hear me? I can hear you breathing. I know you’re there. Did you hear what I said?”
“Paige,” Ice hisses again.
Azzi swallows the lump in her throat, fingers digging into her bare thighs as she grips her phone so hard, she half-expects it to break into pieces in a reflection of her heart, “I heard you Paige.”
“Good. Because I do. I really fucking hate you,” Paige repeats again and Azzi flinches, “you ruined me Azzi. And now you’re ruining my marriage. My wife is perfect. She loves me. She loves being seen with me. She loves being known as my wife. Everything I ever wanted from you, she’s willing to give me. But she saw that damn hug at the Olympics and she- she’s upset with me. She thinks- she thinks I’m not over you.”
“Az maybe you should-” Jana says softly but Azzi immediately raises a hand to stop her. Maybe she’s a masochist but she can hear the hurt laced underneath the anger in Paige's voice. And if what Paige needs to get rid of her pain is a target to aim all her arrows at, then Azzi’s willing to sacrifice her heart, or at least what little is still left of it.
“And the worst thing about it,” Paige’s voice breaks, “is that she's probably right. I have the perfect fucking woman at home and I can’t seem to get over the one who broke my heart and never looked back. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“Paige,” Ice pleads again and Azzi can hear her former teammate trying her best to wrangle the phone out of Paige’s firm grasp.
“I’m not done yet Ice. I need to talk to her and I need to talk to her now because if I don’t, I’ll never get the courage to say any of this again,” Paige is sobbing now, and her broken whimpers pierce Azzi’s heart deeper than any words could, “why couldn’t you just have said yes Az? I know- I know your reasons but why- why couldn’t you have just loved me enough to look past them? How do you do it Azzi? How do you live without me because it’s been four years and I- I still don’t think I know how to live without you and I hate you, I hate you because you do.”
No, Azzi thinks, I really don’t. But she doesn’t say anything, rapidly blinking back tears as she avoids both Jana’s concerned look and Clémence’s more thoughtful gaze.
“I wish I could just feel nothing towards you Azzi,” Paige confesses, heaving as she struggles to breathe through her tears, “I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to miss you and I really- I really, really don’t want to love you. Please just make it stop. I’m so tired of this Azzi. I’m so tired of hurting. How do I make it go away? Please tell me how I make it go away? How did you make it go away?”
“I didn’t,” Azzi whispers, so soft she’s not sure Paige heard it; she’s not sure if she wants Paige to have heard it. It’s the kind of pain, she thinks, she’s destined to feel forever. It’s weaved itself into every crevice of body and now it exists as just another innate part of her. Paige thinks Azzi’s learned to live without her but really all Azzi’s learned is how to live with these permanent scars of i think i’ll miss you forever.
“That’s enough Paige,” Ice’s voice is clearer now, having finally snatched the phone out of her teammate’s grip, “Azzi-” she begins apologetically, “she’s just drunk. She didn’t mean-”
“She did,” Azzi clears her throat, sinking into the way Jana's arms wrap around her, “she’s um- she’s gonna be really hungover in the morning. Make sure she- make sure you give her water but don’t- don’t give her coffee. She’ll want it but it’ll only make it worse because she uh- she- when she drinks too much, her stomach hurts and the caffeine- it just- it makes it worse so- don’t let her drink coffee tomorrow morning okay? And make sure- make sure she eats something before she takes painkillers. And Ice?’
“Yeah Azzi.”
“If she doesn’t remember any of this tomorrow morning, please don’t remind her.”
***
April 2033
The bar is buzzing with noise by the time Paige and Azzi finally arrive. It’s an exclusive enough place that they won’t be too bothered by fans asking for pictures and autographs but the size of the crowd still puts Azzi a little bit on edge. She can’t help the small smile that flitters across her face when she feels Paige’s hand resting on her lower back as the blonde guides the two of them through the crowd in search of their teammates. For the last eight years, Azzi has been her own protector and she’s learned to guard herself but it’s nice -it feels right- to have someone else ready to be her shield too.
“You know Bueckers,” Joyce says as the two of them finally approach the table that had been reserved for the Valkyries, “some might say that one should be on time when meeting their new teammates. Just a thought.”
“And some might say Edwards that being fashionably late is being on time,” Paige quips back.
Joyce grins, “alright time for introductions.”
“I’m pretty sure I know-”
“Shut up,” Joyce reprimands, throwing an arm around Paige’s shoulders, “let me introduce these brand new people to you.”
“They’re not-”
“Sssshhh. Let me have my fun. We’ll start over here with Westbeld and Booker. You might know them, their teams kicked your ass during the 23-24 season,” Joyce says with a smirk.
“Oh I do remember that,” Paige says thoughtfully, eyes twinkling with mirth, “what happened the season after?”
“Don’t be cocky Bueckers. It’s unbecoming,” Madison chides as she rises from the table to give Paige a hug.
“Yeah I try not to remember that Elite Eight game thanks,” Laila says, making a disgusted face.
Joyce glares at her, “did I introduce you yet Miss Phelia?”
Laila raises her hands in surrender as Joyce continues to give Paige a tour of the Valkyrie team. Azzi had known that Paige would fit in well with her teammate -really the blonde had the uncanny ability to fit in anywhere- but seeing it realized in front of her, it seems even clearer. Paige feels like the last mosaic piece, slotting in right where she belongs.
“Those two over there are our babies,” Joyce points to Haylen and Jayla, “they’re like five years old but we love them anyways.”
“I’m almost 25,” Haylen protests.
“See,” Joyce remarks, “literally children. And that one,” she points to Jana who beams at Paige, “well you already know her even if you sometimes wish you didn’t probably-”
“Hey!”
“Oh shush Jana,” Joyce says airily, “and I supposed there’s no point in introducing Azzi to you since y’all came together,” she pauses to look between them, “y’all don’t live that close to each other. Why didn’t you just carpool with Jana? I’m pretty sure she lives closer to you.”
Paige opens and closes her mouth a couple of times as Azzi feels her own cheeks heat up at the innocent enough question, “we um- well it's just- you see- my house is on the way from her parents and she had to drop off Stephie so it just- it just made sense you know? For efficiency’s sake.”
“Oh yeah for efficiency’s sake. They’re both very efficient,” Jana smirks, “makes a lot of sense.”
Joyce gives all three of them a weird look, “y’all Huskies are strange. It was just a question but anyways,” she grins as she finally steers Paige towards the blonde in the corner and Azzi stiffens at the way Paige’s body immediately tenses, “a couple of our teammates aren’t here but we do have a former teammate. Paige meet Clémence.”
“We’ve met,” Paige says, attempting to school her features to resemble anything but the discomfort she’s feeling within, “during the Olympics that is. We’ve beat France a couple of times.”
It’s a purposeful word choice, beat instead of played and Azzi's fingers fidget with the hem of her top as she tries to avoid looking at either of the two women.
“Yes. It is good to see you again,” Clémence says tersely, her French accent stronger than the last time Azzi had spoken to her. She shakes Paige’s hand rather formally before her eyes focus on Azzi and she determinedly walks towards the brunette, “and it is really good to see you Azzi. I have missed you.”
“I-” Azzi stutters at the French woman pulls her into a hug; over her shoulder she can practically see steam coming out of Paige’s ears as she hyper focuses on how Clémence makes it a point rub her thumb down Azzi’s back, “it’s um- it’s good to see you too.”
She pulls away and she can feel the disappointment reverberating from Clémence’s body as Azzi practically flings herself on the chair next to Jana, wondering what she’d done to deserve this moment as a punishment for her sins.
“Save me,” she pleads as Clémence and Paige sit as far away from each other as possible, occasionally shooting glares when they think the other isn’t looking.
“Save you from having two hot women fighting over you?” the center teases, “you truly have such first world problems Azzi Fudd.”
“They’re not fighting over me-”
“Azzi you will have your usual rum and coke no?” Clémence asks and Azzi looks over to where the francophone is intently staring at her, “I will go-”
“Oh there’s no need,” Paige says immediately, “you sit Clémence. You already have a drink. I was gonna go get one for myself and I’ll get Azzi’s too. Besides, Azzi's more of a fruity drink girl. Az I’ll get you a piña colada-”
Clémence narrows her eyes, “maybe she liked that when she was in college but Azzi likes something different now.”
“She might like something different now,” Paige counters, standing up aggressively so she towers over the table, “but she’s always gonna love a piña colada right Azzi?”
All eyes turn to look at Azzi who wants nothing more than to cower under the table- or hit Jana who seems to find this very unamusinging situation rather entertaining, “I um-” she swallows, “I think tonight calls for something stronger. Round of shots for the table? On me?”
It placates the situation for a while as the rest of the team cheers on the idea, beckoning over one of the bartenders to orders a round of tequila shots for the table. For a moment, Azzi tricks herself into thinking maybe that’ll be the end of ridiculous situations for the night as the team downs shots to Jana yelling “to the Valkyries” but she should have known it was wishful thinking.
Half the team ends up on the dance floor, swaying to the mixed rhythm of the music and the newly minted alcohol coursing through their bloodstreams. Azzi watches with a smile as despite her protests, Joyce manages to drag Paige onto the dance floor with her, engaging her in some eccentric dance moves as they try to outdo each other on who can look the silliest. And as the rest of the girls cheer the blonde on, it feels like Paige is chiseling out a place for herself in another part of Azzi’s world.
“She is easy to love,” Clémence’s hot breath fans Azzi’s ear as the francophone takes Jana’s empty seat next to the brunette.
“Clém-” Azzi sighs.
“She fits in well with the team,” Clémence continues, something wistful in her voice, “I have seen her play. She will fit in well on the court with you guys as well. She will fit in well next to you.”
“That’s the hope,” Azzi says softly as she tilts her head to look at the other woman, “you fit in well too. I mean it Clém. We’ll miss you at GSV.”
Clémence smiles bitterly, “I would have liked to stay but they needed the cap space so they could sign her. She- she’s quite expensive. I mean considering she is casually wearing swarovski crystals on her neck in a bar on a random Saturday night, I am not surprised.”
The two of them laugh despite the gravity that looms heavily over them. Azzi and Clémence haven’t been anything in a long time but she’d never quite shut the possibility of a potential future done. She can hear the lock ready to click now. It’s bittersweet doing the right thing but as Paige glances over from the dancefloor, eyes darting cautiously between the two of them, Azzi knows that she doesn’t want to keep any other doors open. Not when the one with Paige’s name etched on the door handle, leads to home.
“One last dance?” Clémence asks softly, holding out her hand.
Azzi hesitates, knowing that it would irritate Paige but she thinks she probably owes Clémence this and so she smiles and takes the francophone’s outstretched hand as they join their other teammates. It’s nothing beyond friendly and they both keep their hands to themselves as they sway to the music, but Azzi can feel the annoyance radiating off of Paige from across the dancefloor. She would never admit it, perhaps it’s a little toxic of her, but there’s a certain thrill to making Paige jealous. There’s something about the way the blonde’s blue eyes flare with ice cold envy, the way her jaw hardens as she grinds her teeth. The way she looks at Azzi like if she had her way she’d drag the brunette out of the bar and mark her with a possessive you’re mine you’re mine youre mine. It makes Azzi clench her thighs together as she tries to focus on Clémence.
“I understand now,” the francophone says thoughtfully as Azzi’s peers up at her in confusion, “when you told me that you could not be with me. I get it.”
“I don’t-”
“You are here with me but you aren’t actually. You will always be with her,” Clémence tilts her head towards Paige, “you always have been. I understand now,” she says again simply before her face hardens, “even after all those words she said to you on the phone that night.”
Azzi’s stomach curls at the reminder. She knows exactly what night Clémence is referring to. Sometimes when she closes her eyes, it’s those words, coated in anger and malice, that shower around her like acid rain, seeping into her skin and infecting her bloodstream.
“I told you, you deserved better,” Clémence says and Azzi gulps, “but you said- you said you deserved worse. I hope you don’t believe that anymore Azzi. Just because you hurt her doesn’t mean you need to let her hurt you too.”
“I-” Azzi’s cut off by a hard body ramming into her own and she feels herself going stumbling back into the unwanted arms of a random man, “I’m sorry,” she says tersely, struggling to get out his grip.
“No worries pretty girl,” he says toothily, the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath making Azzi feel nauseous, “but now that you’re here, how about I buy you a drink.”
“No thank you,” Azzi says sternly, trying to push the man away but he’s relentless.
“Aw c’mon don’t be like that sweetheart,” the term of endearment sounds like an insult falling from his lips and Azzi loses her patience, stomping her heel into the man’s foot to finally free herself from his grip and he yelps in surprise.
“I said no thank you.”
“What the fuck,” the man spits out, standing up as Azzi takes a step back. He’s got some muscle and although, despite his bravado, she knows she’s strong enough to take him, she’d rather not create a scene. Her plan is to walk away. Paige seems to have other ideas, suddenly materializing in between Azzi and the man, a furious look on her face as she squares him up.
“Do we have a problem?” the blonde asks menacingly.
“Nothing other than your little friend here being a fucking bitch.”
Paige’s eyes darken as she takes a threatening step towards him, prevented from going further only by the way Azzi immediately laces a hand around her wrist, “what the fuck did you call her?”
“I called her a-”
“It doesn’t matter,” Azzi cuts in, stepping in between a glaring Paige and a man who’s clearly underestimating her strength, “let it go Paige.”
“Yeah,” the man mocks, “let it go Paige.”
“You fucking-” Paige tries to lunge at him but Azzi’s quick to shove her back gently.
“Don’t cause a scene,” she warns.
“Azzi-”
“Paige please.”
“Holy shit,” the man wolf-whistles, “y’all play for the Valks. You’re Azzi Fudd. I know you.”
“Good for you,” Azzi spits out at him before turning her attention back to Paige, who looks like she could kill the man if given the chance, “c’mon let's go back to our tab-”
“It’s funny you’re acting like such a fucking prude when you have a bastard chi-”
An unmistakable crunch rings out through the bar as the man goes flying backwards. Azzi’s knuckles are bleeding as her breath comes out in ragged huffs. She hadn’t wanted to cause a scene; could have walked away from a man being a drunken idiot, could have walked away from being called a bitch or hell, even something worse. But the man had attacked the one part of her that she’d always be ready to go to war for. He’d brought up Stephie and she’d seen red. Her fist had moved of it's own accord.
Paige doesn’t say anything and Azzi can feel the anger still vibrating from the older woman’s body as she roughly grabs Azzi’s unhurt hand.
“Let’s go,” the blonde’s voice is eerily low, “we’re going home.”
***
It’s a subconscious choice to let Paige drive Azzi’s car even though they’ve both sobered up considerably, not that one shot had done much in the first place. It’s a subconscious choice that Azzi reaches over to lace her fingers through Paige’s free hand, resting it on her lap, as the blonde use her other hand to grip the steering wheel. It’s a subconscious choice that they end up driving to Azzi’s house in complete silence. She’s not sure who’s mad at who, if they’re even mad at each other or that man or just the world but she can feel the fury suffocating the air.
“Where’s your first-aid kit?” Paige says gruffly as Azzi unlocks the door.
“Bathroom,” Azzi says quietly and Paige is off towards it before the word has even fully left the brunette’s mouth. Azzi scrambles after her, pausing in the doorway as Paige rummages through drawers, knowing better than to interrupt to help when Paige looks livid like this.
“Sit,” Paige points to the sink once she’s finally found the sanitizer and gauze to clean up dried up blood staining Azzi’s knuckles.
“I can do it my-”
Paige glares at her, “just sit on the fucking sink Azzi.”
Putting away her own irritation at being told what to do, Azzi lifts herself onto the flat surface of the sink, opening her legs slightly so that Paige can stand between them. Despite still quivering with barely concealed rage, Paige’s touch is gentle as she dabs at the remnants of red liquid on Azzi’s hand.
“You should’ve just let me punch him when I wanted to,” she says finally.
“So you could be the one bleeding?” Azzi raises an eyebrow.
“No because he would’ve never gotten the courage to say shit about Stephie if you’d just let me kill him when he called you a bitch,” Paige bites out venomously.
“And let you go to jail? I couldn’t do that to Stephie,” Azzi tries to lighten the tension in the room, “she’d miss you too much.
“This isn’t funny, Azzi,” Paige seethes as she begins to wrap the white gauze around the wound.
“I know,” the younger woman says, trailing her other hand down Paige’s arms trying to soothe her anger, “but it’s fine-”
“It’s not fucking fine,” Paige yells.
“Baby-” the word slips out from Azzi’s lips before she can catch it. She hasn’t used it for someone other than Stephie in so long that it feels foreign on her lips and yet, it fits exactly right.
“Did you call Clémence that too?” and there it is, the real reason behind the volcano erupting as Paige decidedly looks away from Azzi.
Azzi narrows her eyes, “I don’t know Paige. Did you call Olivia that?”
“That’s different,” Paige grits out, “Olivia was my wife.”
Azzi flinches at the word; hates that somebody else had ever had the honor of being called that even if she knows it’s unfair of her to feel that way when she’s the one that had turned it down first.
“Exactly,” she says slowly, “you married someone else-” she holds up a hand when Paige protests, “I know. I know I said no but you married someone else Paige. So you don’t get to be mad at me for having something with someone else too.”
Paige is quiet for a moment and Azzi sees the exact moment the fight leaves her body as she lets out a sigh, leaning her head against Azzi’s shoulder.
“You’re right,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s neck, hands moving to rest against the brunette’s thighs.
Azzi runs her hand through Paige’s hair, brushing it in tandem with the harmony of her breathing, “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.”
“I know,” Paige breath tickles against Azzi’s skin and she shivers in spite of the tense moment,“I just-” the blonde lifts her head to look at Azzi, “I need to know who Clémence was to you. You- you know what Olivia was to me and I- I just need to know the same about Clémence.”
“She-” Azzi hesitates, “we hooked up a couple of times,” she squeezes Paige’s hand when the blonde flinches, “but then she- she wanted more but I couldn’t- I couldn’t do that. Partly because I didn’t- I didn’t feel the same- don’t look so smug,” Azzi chides when a small grin forms on Paige’s face, “and partly because we were on the same team. I didn’t want to complicate things, not like last time. Feel like I should probably have a rule not to date teammates.”
“Right.”
Azzi watches the cogs turning in Paige’s brain and she reaches out a hand to ease the creases forming on her forehead, “what are you thinking Bueckers?”
“I just-” Paige bites her lip, “what about me?”
“What about you?”
“I mean we’re gonna be- I mean we are- we’re on the same team too,” Paige says and Azzi can hear the insecurity of will you leave me again weaved through her voice.
“You don’t get it yet do you,” Azzi whispers, reaching up to cup Paige’s face, “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.”
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Growing up I lived in an area with a lot of cattle farming and I was very scared of the cows. Do you have any cool facts that will make me either more or less afraid of cows?
oh hmm let me think on that!
facts related to how to interact with cows so all parties feel and stay safe:
they have a very prey herd animal mentality. they want to move with their herdmates. they want to watch any potential threats like people and move away from them. they don't like loud or unfamiliar noises (they're sensitive souls. sometimes if i visit a dairy wearing waterproof coveralls where the cows are only used to people wearing cotton coveralls, just the whisper of waterproof pants rubbing against each other can spook them) or abrupt movements or going into areas they can't see well (and they have difficulty with depth perception due to their wide-set eyes for 300 degree vision, and with high-contrast, so going from sun into shade or vice versa can look like stepping into a white or black void for them and they don't like it)
based on this, we know the keys to low-stress cattle handling are consistency in how you interact with them, calmness (small movements, quiet words to let them know you're there), moving cows in groups big enough to have friends but small enough you can control the whole group without them milling around or the ones in front stopping and causing a traffic jam, and slowly moving them by just barely getting in their "bubble" of "whoa, you're a little too close for comfort, i'm going to move in the other direction" without ever getting into their "YIKES RUN AWAY FROM THIS THING" bubble
the last point involves understanding pressure and flight zones and point of balance:
from Mississippi State University Extension:
from grandin.com (highly recommend as a source of information about animal behaviour and welfare!!! temple grandin my idol since i was like nine i love her so. and i tear up when i think about how much she's done for millions of animals ;_; she's a genius and no lie revolutionized low-stress handling):
pet cows that get doted on enough to bond with people may not see people as a threat so the normal ways we use pressure zones to iinteract with cows don't necessarily do anything for them. you would lead them more like a horse, using a halter. or lure them with treats.
beef cows typically have little contact with people, often just processing (vaccines, preg checks, quick exam for any health problems) a couple times a year, so they can be very wild. doesn't mean they're aggressive, the overwhelming majority are non-aggressive but they have very large flight zones, so if you don't recognize that and approach too quickly, getting deep in their flight zone, that can get you into a dangerous situation where they get aggressive as a last resort. that said, they do usually still choose flight unless their calf is with them. "never get between mom and baby" applies as it does with any species
dairy cows are in between beef cows and pet cows. they interact with people regularly, several times per day, and it's respectful but not doting. kind of a business relationship with their handlers. they're not terrified of people by any means, but they haven't been, like, hand-fed treats to get over their instinctive wariness of potential-predator-like animals, and they know sometimes handling results in unpleasant experiences like medical treatment or pregnancy checks, so they avoid touch and have a flight zone, though it's small (and sometimes they'll calmly let you walk right up to them unrestrained, or approach you and lick you out of curiosity). very very rare to have an aggressive dairy cow (as in, one that attacks you instead of moving away when you're bothering them a little. really bothering them and ignoring body language when they can't move away is much more likely to get you kicked)
bulls are not docile. not every bull will be aggressive, but you should assume that every bull has the capacity to become aggressive with little provocation, and always keep a respectful distance and know your escape route if you have to be in a pen or field with them
cows love exploring with their tongues. any time you're in a dairy barn there's gonna be at least one friendly girl mlem mlem mlemming who won't leave you alone
adding on to the above, there is a slight caveat that you still have to be a LITTLE wary of friendly cows. 99% of the time they're just friendly but sometimes cows in heat will try to mount people. you don't have to be scared of friendly cows but if they're right next to you just keep them in your line of sight so you can move away if they make like they're going to mount. again, not common, never happened to me, but something to be aware of
signs of a happy, relaxed cow: lying down, chewing cud or eating, tail hanging down relaxed, moving slowly with her herd
signs of a slightly wary cow (you have entered the "pressure zone"): standing still/stopping what she's doing, turning towards you, ears turning towards you (watching the ears is a very good way of knowing what she's paying attention to), tail swishing or raised a bit away from body
signs of a distressed cow: vocalizing (they also moo for other reasons though), tail swishing, fidgeting/pawing/looking like she wants to move but doesn't know where to, freezing up and intermittently making erratic movements (back away a little)
signs of an aggressive cow: head down with attention on you, pawing ground, turning to show you their broad side. (turn sideways and calmly but swiftly walk away diagonally)
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the event (1) ❖ nanami kento
this part → part 2 (soon) | mdni! | the nile is a river in egypt 👍
summary: after struggling for so long with the feelings you had for nanami, your colleague and closest friend, you finally decide to put an end to your misery and confess to him. little did you know there was no misery left for you to wallow in that night — none at all. alternatively: nanami was a gentleman, but holy hell, given the context, there weren't many ways he could misunderstand the phrase "I want you".
tags: jujutsu kaisen, sorcerer!f!reader, colleagues in the field, 18+, alcohol, explicit! smut (oral f!receiving, piv, squirting), 1/3 plot 2/3 filth ratio, it’s romance guys, nanami x reader, reader is emotionally stunted, they're clearly in love, angst, fluff, hurt and comfort, basically a book chapter, no beta my inner demons proofread this.
wc: 8k
notes, etc.: if i have to rewrite this one more time i will commit a felony. inspo → just like you do (carly simon) and sonnet (the verve). saved by smooth operator (sade). the bit "love is something brave people do" is inspired by fleabag's last episode. appetizers for this fic are the shorties “would you let me die?” and “where does your mind drift”.
❖ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist
this is big but very worth it, i promise.
Today, you were determined to finally utter those three words and put an end to your own personal brand of misery.
Ever since you and Nanami kind of discussed if getting involved would be a bad idea — he said it would, but you had your doubts — you just couldn't stop thinking about it. He knew you had feelings for him. Maybe. He mentioned that he believed you thought about him.
But the thing was… nothing was actually said. It was all implied. Implied into oblivion.
You two had been working together for a good while now, and you didn't fail to notice that, in the most recent encounters you've had, be it on missions or just having a drink at your favorite bar, your heart would involuntarily throb whenever you gazed at him for too long.
Not only that, but you were finally able to admit to yourself that your gratitude towards the sorcerer, who saved your life years ago, had become love. You were, without a shred of a doubt, in love with him, and the fact that he clearly stated that getting involved would be ill-advised — his words, not yours — was a special type of torture.
So be it — you were confessing your feelings for him today, at least to have a definitive answer. It would be better to get shot down than keep doing this little tip-toe dance around the unsaid. You just couldn't do this anymore.
Thing was… You were terrible with feelings. And words. And putting feelings into words. And also just feeling your feelings, in general.
So you decided to invite him to a bar — like you always did —, and chat the night away — again, like you always did — to try easing yourself into this conversation in a comfortable, known setting. Your drinks were downed until the middle of the night like you were filling up a Jeep tank, trying to fuel yourself with liquor-bought courage.
Eventually you slowed down, because certainly throwing up would be less than ideal. Better to be sober and chicken out than drunk and vomiting.
You were so in your own head, though, that you failed to realize Nanami was accompanying you in the "getting completely hammered" department until about a few hours prior, partially regaining his sobriety, with a lot of things swirling around in his own mind.
Mostly, he still thought about the non-conversation you both had about thinking of each other. More specifically, the fact that you inquired, right at the end, if it would really be such a bad idea.
Would it?
Could he dare to dream of a life beyond killing curses and hoping not to die every time he stepped his foot into a mission?
He wasn't sure about it anymore, and could feel his usual negative stance about getting romantically involved with someone while still being a jujutsu sorcerer wavering — an absolute first for him. He was hardly someone to be swayed on his stances in life.
But this time, just maybe, you were able to do that without even realizing.
He caught himself gazing at you more frequently than usual, and wondering what would be the texture of your flower-scented hair tangled in between his fingers.
Today, your hair smelled like jasmine flowers.
Unlike you, however, Nanami was unsure if he'd touch upon the subject that night, specifically, in case he ever decided to do so. He’d prefer to talk about it in an appropriate setting — dinner at a restaurant, maybe? No, you weren't someone who'd like that. Perhaps at a picnic, she does enjoy nature...
He tried shaking those thoughts away along with his feelings, but it didn’t work.
The conversation was very pleasant, and you two were reminiscing about his mission at your hometown where you both met years ago.
”Do you remember when I tried cooking breakfast? Oh, that was a good one,” you jested, chuckling.
Nanami nodded, resting the edge of his whiskey cup on his bottom lip.
“I’d say that was a terrible one. You nearly set your entire kitchen on fire trying to fry eggs,” he noted, letting a smile take over his lips.
You laughed in response.
”Yeah, you’re probably right. But at least you rescued me and made one of the best tamagoyaki I’ve ever eaten.”
He put his glass down on the counter, looking at you with those adoring, beautiful, brown honeyed eyes.
"One of?"
You chuckled, trying not to stare too much.
Good God, he's looking gorgeous tonight.
“Oh, come on. According to you, I can barely taste my food the way I eat, mixing everything up in my plate,” you joked, “I don’t have the same particular taste buds of yours.”
Nanami sighed, rolling his eyes at your teasing, taking a sip of his whiskey.
The ice had melted a little, and he felt the watery coat on the drink with displeasure, grimacing a little.
Somehow, Nanami failed to see the irony in that.
You noticed, and laughed a little before continuing.
"The other amazing tamagoyaki I had was when you rescued me from starving during my first week here. But I don't think I'd really regret burning Jujutsu High down, even if it was an accident."
Nanami shook his head lightly, the smile still on his face betraying his half-hearted chide.
Then, after the banter evaporated in the air, that moment finally came.
The absolute silence.
Arguably the perfect opportunity to say these types of things… So you began.
"Nanami, I…" words gagged. "I wanted to tell you something."
His body visibly tensed up a little, but he probably didn't realize it.
He knew, of course.
Nanami noticed all the recent instances you'd stare at him, and ever since pulling you in for a not-so innocent hug when you were both stranded on the road after a mission together, he felt dangerously close to crossing this boundary.
Nanami's words were easily controlled, always so neatly put together with mathematical precision to express his thoughts. However, ever since he crossed the line of physical contact beyond pure platonic affection, it had been difficult keeping his hands to himself.
Right now, he wanted to cup your face with his palms and brush his thumbs against your cheeks.
Perhaps even press his lips against you- stop that, you’re not a teenager anymore.
This comfort zone of avoiding the discussion about the feelings you both had for each other was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
"What?"
You gulped, and took a few more sips of beer.
"I…"
Your voice got stuck in your throat.
Your syllable had stretched long enough for this to have become a little awkward.
"I wanted to thank you," you blurted out, more for your benefit than his.
Nanami was equal parts relieved, disappointed, and surprised.
Did he actually want you to tell him you had feelings for him?
"Thanks for welcoming me to Jujutsu High, for shepherding me all this time, and for being a reliable, good friend. I was ready to face hell here, but it was… much better than I had anticipated. So, thank you, Nanami."
He looked at you, and both held each other's gaze for a moment. His hazel brown eyes were always something that lured you in, and you surely enjoyed how he'd always remove his green shades to talk to you.
Seeing them felt strangely — and endearingly — intimate.
"You're welcome," he offered in a kind note.
"Last call!" the bartender stated loudly, as you and Nanami looked at each other, feeling somewhat disappointed that the night was about to be over.
Stepping outside after paying, you both realized it was raining — something neither had noticed from inside the bar.
With half a mind to do something, definitely inebriated, and still with a declaration stuck in your throat, you absentmindedly made a question to Nanami.
"Can I wait the rain out at your place?"
He did live close by, in any case.
For a second, you realized you were probably butting in his rest hours, and felt a little embarrassed.
"Yes," he replied immediately, also absentmindedly, before you could retreat your request.
***
It was actually the first time you ever visited his apartment, and it was interesting to see his place. To no one's surprise, Nanami's pristine apartment, with his collections of books and CD's — he still had an actual stereo CD player — felt as every bit put together as Nanami himself did.
His kitchen drawers alone were surely more organized than your income tax return.
You sat on the counter and had your drenched hair haphazardly covered with a blue towel as Nanami fixed something to eat for the both of you.
The smell of cooked rice and eggs filled the air, hugging your senses, as you watched, still halfway drunk, how he skillfully walked back and forth, being somewhat inebriated himself, making way more than instant noodles, your first choice after proposing you both ate something to ease the alcohol out.
You stared at his back while he cooked, trying to push the thought of telling him how you felt to the back of your mind, at least for a while, just so you could enjoy the following moments without the sensation of impending doom.
As he finished plating the food, you were nothing short of impressed — the man mustered up the skill to cook omurice while inebriated, a feat you couldn't do sober even in one of your best days.
"This is incredible, you're such a badass," you remarked as Nanami gave you a plate with a pair of chopsticks.
"It's a simple recipe," he replied, getting his own and taking a bite out of it as he leaned against the sink counter, facing you.
"Oh, it surely is,” you remarked, ironically.
You were getting ready to eat as Nanami interrupted you.
"Don't desecrate it," he chided, referencing the way you'd usually stir up your food on your plate until it became an unidentifiable goo before eating, "try to taste your food at least this once."
You chuckled a little, acquiescing.
"Okay. This is too beautiful to get vandalized, anyway."
Nanami huffed, the faintest ghost of a smile on his lips, before he took another bite.
"I am so going to regret this entire thing tomorrow," you stated, taking the first piece out of your plate, “I drank like a sailor.”
It was absolutely delicious, of course. It was Nanami's food, after all.
He swallowed before proceeding.
"Me too, most likely. I hadn't drunk this heavily since… ever."
"Hah, me neither."
You both resumed eating peacefully, partaking in a comfortable and cozy silence for the next few minutes. During that time, he looked at you without you noticing, and realized just how much he wanted this small sliver of peace — sharing a good meal with you in his kitchen after a remarkably pleasant night — to keep going for eternity.
You were looking so adorable with his blue towel over your drenched hair.
As you were finished, he took both plates and put them inside the sink, going back to his original position. Nanami had already removed his tie, his weapon holster and opened the top of his blue buttoned shirt by this point, both of his sleeves rolled up for him to cook.
It was becoming increasingly hard not to stare.
"Thank you, Nanami," you said, smiling at him.
"It's no trouble," he answered, softly smiling back at you.
His smile was much sweeter than usual, and it sent your heart throbbing against your chest.
The urge came again, to finally tell him.
However, when you actually spoke, something entirely unexpected came out of your mouth.
"Why did you come back to Jujutsu High after years of working a regular job?"
Nanami was surprised, to say the least, and pondered for a while before resuming his answer.
He had left the jujutsu world shortly after the mission where he met you and ‘failed you’ — that last part solely according to him — so, needless to say, this was a sensitive topic.
"Well, I had known the jujutsu world, and after entering the corporate one, I realized both were idiotic. So-"
"No, not that speech," you interjected, "I want to know exactly what happened for you to come back. I mean, when we ran into each other years ago, you seemed pretty resolute in trying your retired-by-40 and moving to Malaysia plan, and from what I gathered, not long after that, you just came back, out of nowhere."
Nanami was silent, because he remembered vividly what had transpired, and that you had something to do with it.
"Well," he began, "a few days after we had that conversation, I went into a bakery to buy breakfast. It was always the same person at the cash register, and she had a small fly head curse on her shoulders for a while. It began affecting her sleep, given her complaints. I had avoided doing something about it, but our conversation kept ringing in my head."
Nanami averted his gaze, as if remembering the moment in its details before proceeding.
"After I exorcised it, her shoulder pain subsided, and she thanked me. That was it."
You remembered well how you chided him, telling Nanami to go back into sorcery because the world of jujutsu needed people who truly cared, such as himself. You just didn’t think it would have such a direct connection to the reasons he came back.
"So... you realized the importance of the job we do?" you inquired, with a half-smile pulled on your cheek.
He sighed. "Something like that."
"Oh, Mr. Nanami 'I'm just doing my job' Kento... you have finally understood that meaning is something relevant to you, it seems," you remarked, light-spirited.
He smiled, looking the other way, somewhat appreciating the fact that he had just been read like a book by you.
"But... don't say I had something to do with you coming back," you stated, "I might feel responsible if something happens to you."
Even as a joke, this snapped at your heart a little. The mere thought of losing him felt terrifying.
Nanami sighed, smile vanishing, looking back at you.
"You always see things from a perspective of assigning responsibility and guilt... It is a perspective that usually warrants unnecessary suffering."
You scoffed, still wearing your mid-smirk on your face.
"Oh, and looking at everything from a protective perspective is any different? I mean, both boil down to us thinking we're responsible for other people's fates."
He was slightly taken aback, before smiling discreetly and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"I guess you're right."
Nanami looked at you, and seemed to be staring at your cheek. Under the dim light from the stove hood, you could make out the contours of his face — his sharp jaw, his chiseled cheekbones, and his now exposed forearms with taut, sculpted muscles, right under the rolled up sleeves of his blue shirt.
If pupil dilation could be felt, you would have definitely felt it at that moment.
The urge came up again, but by this point, you were already feeling defeated enough at your pathetic inability of confessing your feelings, so you just let your mouth roll with whatever came out of it.
"I really admire you, Nanami."
You surprised even yourself.
His eyes then met yours.
"Do you?"
Pondering on your words, you nodded, thinking a little about it.
"You're such a calm, collected and responsible person. You seem to always know exactly what you're doing, meanwhile I'm usually just guessing around. No wonder Ino and Yuuji look up to you."
Even under the soft lighting, you could swear you saw Nanami's face blush a little.
"Thank you," he stated, bowing his head slightly towards your direction.
You smiled at him and sighed right after.
"Most times, I don't think I'm someone people would call admirable or actually look up to."
This was something you hadn't anticipated you'd say. You had never told that to anyone.
But, well, this was him. This was Nanami.
"Why do you say that?" he inquired in earnest.
"Because... Because I'm often hanging by a thread, just trying to survive. I'm not doing great things. I'm barely existing, sometimes."
He mulled his thoughts over for a second before answering you.
"You have a good capacity for adapting, taking whatever life hands you and doing the best you can with it," he noted, "and you keep going even if you feel like you're guessing. Even when you don't know where you're going. That takes bravery, and I find it to be admirable."
Now you were the one surprised, and you could feel your entire face burning the moment he finished uttering those words. You were never one to take compliments easily, but this was a whole other level.
You stood there, mouth slightly agape, faltering without any words.
His eyes had returned to your cheek, and in a swift movement, you heard him say excuse me as he stepped into your direction, rubbing his thumb on it to take off some food you hadn't realized that was still stuck on your face.
Nanami barely registered that the thoughts looping around his mind the entire night about touching you had finally taken the best of him.
Before he could remove his hand, though, you held it in place, lifting your eyes to meet him.
His palm felt warm against your skin, his digits rough, and perfect. Just like he was.
Nanami's expression was unreadable as he gazed back at you, and you began hearing your heartbeats against your ears, muffling the sound of the tapping rain on the window.
Words failed him too, and he was guided by his body once again.
Nanami lowered his face and softly pressed his lips over yours, still tasting like whiskey and Demi-glace, which sent waves — that you couldn't quite discern if were hot or cold, perhaps both — all throughout your body.
It was a quick kiss, though, because shortly after, Nanami backed out, still with his eyes closed, and had something resembling a frown on his face.
"I apologize, that was inappropriate," he mumbled, beginning to pull his hand out from your cheek. You, however, held it in place, and that got him to open his eyes and look at you.
He seemed taken by trepidation under his usual collected demeanor, and his lower lip had the slightest twitch to it as his eyes flickered quickly between your mouth and your eyes.
For a moment, you felt like you were looking into the eyes of the Nanami you once knew — the bangs, the uniform, the seventeen-year-old version of him.
Little did you know that your corresponding younger version was looking right back at him with the same bated breath, just like the teens-becoming-adults in the most traumatic ways you two once were.
"Stop apologizing and kiss me," you pleaded, edging your face closer to his, pulling his towel off your head.
You could feel his breath exhaling against your skin, as Nanami approached his body to yours, putting himself in between your knees, and cupped your face in his hands. His body was incredibly warm, just like his hand, and his woody, musky scent sent your senses spiraling when he finally descended his lips to yours, determined on taking his time — after all, this was a kiss ten years in the making.
His mouth felt velvety and supple, and you both melted into each other while exploring the way his head tilted against yours, how your nails would eventually find their way up the nape of his neck, how your breath would hitch every time he pressed his mouth against yours more intently. Your lips slid wetly over each other with a newfound ease none of you expected.
You were both dipping your toes in the ocean and testing the temperature before committing to dive into deeper waters, taking all the time into familiarizing with the feeling of each other's bodies.
Nanami's hands descended to your waist, leaving a trail of heat on the way, and you let out a soft moan into his mouth when he pressed them against you. He groaned lowly, a sound reverberating from the depths of his chest, as he parted his lips from yours and put some distance in between your faces with his eyes closed.
You didn't understand, but before you could ask anything, he began speaking.
"I don't mean to assume," he stated, letting his forehead rest on yours.
"Hm... What do you mean?"
"I... What I mean is we can stop, in case you don’t... We're both still somewhat under the influence. You are," Nanami replied, opening his eyes to look into yours. The faltering restraint dwelling in them was palpable.
In the back of your mind, you wondered if there was any way of loving him more than you already did. Even now, he was so mindful and careful with you.
"I want this," you replied, resolute, "I want you. I've wanted it all for a very long time. It's not a drunken decision, I mean it."
His gaze softened in a way you had never seen before, one of his hands ascending to brush his thumb over your cheek. Nanami snuggled his nose against yours and sighed, seemingly fluttering.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure. I want you," you repeated, incisively.
He let out a huff of air against your mouth, and you could smell his breath, mingled with the scent emanating from him and his clothes. Intoxicating wasn't a strong enough word — you were completely enthralled, entranced and overwhelmed by him. Every sound got muted, but the sound of his breathing. Every smell disappeared, but his. And there was no other temperature in the room other than the warmth of his body.
You had entered tunnel vision mode, and at the end of it, he was your light.
Closing the remaining inches that separated the both of you, he brushed his lips against yours, whispering, "then have me. Have all of me."
Still cupping the side of your face, Nanami tilted it, finally fitting your lips against his again, like lovely little puzzle pieces getting more and more accustomed to each other by the second. He felt around your contours, pressing the tip of his tongue softly over the seam of your mouth, and you warmly welcomed him in, his true taste lingering just under the drinks and sauces being enough to knock the air out of your lungs.
He was salty, fresh, and a breeze of cool air by the seashore.
There were a few times you wondered what he'd be like, but your fantasies were quick to pale in comparison to the reality of him.
Nanami’s broken restraint was completely done for, and just this once, he wanted to let it come tumbling down like a house of cards, as he parted to gaze at your disheveled hair, your flustered face, your slightly puffy lips.
His chest swelled full and content at that sight.
He met you once again, and the ruffling from the fall was sounding better than he could have ever hoped for, insistent heart beat pushing against his ears, encompassing your breathless kissing like a sonnet.
Nanami's hands, however, didn't dare explore beyond your waist, and all this intense make out session was starting to make your panties feel uncomfortable against your pooling arousal. You were starting to feel antsy, and your body was nearly twitching at the aching desire. You needed some kind of relief, or you'd go insane.
Nanami was a gentleman, but holy hell, given the context, there weren't many ways he could misunderstand the phrase I want you.
You put your hands over his and slip them down to cup your ass, parting from his lips for a moment.
"Stop keeping your hands to yourself. Touch me," you pleaded, with some type of simmering desperation to your voice that you hadn't yet heard — never, actually.
He looked at you, and seemed equally desperate in an unfathomable way. He pulled you in, kneading his fingers fiercely against your skin while moaning into your mouth, and pressed your bodies hard enough for you to feel him pulsating through multiple layers of fabric.
Oh, my.
You knew he was strong, but this was something else.
Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his hips, and drew the tips of your fingernails down his back, while grinding over his growing erection with your clothed core. Nanami let out a muffled groan on your skin and began kissing your neck intently with messy, open-mouthed kisses.
He put his hands under your thighs and whispered in your ear, "hold on to me."
That caught your attention from your hazy brain.
"I... My hair is still wet. My clothes are a little damp, too. I'm kind of a mess right now," you told him, chuckling sheepishly.
This man's apartment was the most immaculate place you had ever been in your life, and the last thing you wanted to do was to dirty it around with dripping water from the rain. In his bed, of all places.
Nanami immediately pulled himself back and held your face, locking eyes with you.
"You are beautiful right now," he remarked, not giving you enough time for an answer, as he pressed another kiss on your lips — this time, more urgent, a little sloppy, but just as passionate, if not more. You gasped into his mouth, letting your body take control.
In an instant, your arms were draped over his shoulders, your legs tightened firmly around his body, and his strong hands held the back of your thighs, as Nanami lifted you from that counter like you weighed nothing.
You squeaked in surprise, and he uttered a soft, deep chuckle before planting a quick peck on your lips.
After walking you both into his room, he calmly descended towards the mattress, laying you down delicately and climbing his way on top of you.
When he approached his face to yours, you smiled at him, and he smiled back, sharing a tender moment of silent closeness.
This was probably your favorite shared quietude yet.
“I should get out of these wet clothes,” you stated, giggling softly, before tugging your shirt over your head.
He huffed a soft smiling hum in return, as his palms found their way towards the sides of your hips. Their warmth clashed a stark contrast against your still dampened, cold skin, and his touch was electric, making you involuntarily sigh.
"Help me take these pants off," you cooed, relaxing your legs around his body.
Nanami didn’t need to be told twice, and swiftly slid his hands down to unzip you and pull your damp pants off while you unclasped your bra.
After he was done, his eyes lingered over the drenched patch on your underwear, a realization that definitely riled him up, as his breath got caught midway out his nostrils for a second.
Nanami’s fingers swirled around your bra straps, but before he removed it, you began unbuttoning his shirt, finishing off unclenching his belt and unzipping his pants.
"It would be unfair for me to be the only one exposed here," you remarked, light spirited, while smiling tenderly at him.
He smiled back very much the same way, and pulled his shirt off, downing his pants, letting it all become a wrinkled puddle on the floor. Nanami caged you in between his arms, and pressed a quick kiss on your lips, asking, "do you ever stop?"
"Why don't you try to find out?" you slyly replied.
Nanami wasn't usually one to appreciate being teased. This was especially true when it came to Gojo annoying the hell out of him, and he could — and would — also get annoyed at your snarky teasing from time to time.
But it felt different with you. He wasn't nearly as irritated as he would've been with anybody else.
Perhaps because you teased him with love.
Your hands pulled your bra off and tossed it aside, and for some seconds, he was speechless, contouring his eyes all over your body. With butterflies on his chest, he finally cupped your face in his hands again before kissing you once more, and you couldn’t help but notice he really liked holding you like that when he kissed you — and you'd let him, every time he wanted to.
It was lovely to be held so preciously under such an adoring touch.
Letting go of your lips, Nanami began planting kisses under your jaw, descending towards your neck, and nesting his face in between your breasts, inhaling your scent with his face laid over your skin. With your encouraging hand tangling in his hair, he began kissing and licking his way around, kneading on your breasts with his palms. Your hips instantly bucked up against him, at the same time you let out a needy moan.
He noticed it, very pleased, and gave you the tiny mercy of removing your panties.
Still with his mouth plastered on your skin, Nanami descended one hand towards your folds, and groaned the second his fingers touched over your wetness, cock twitching inside his underwear.
You were drenched.
He sounded so satisfied, you couldn’t help but blush a little in between your moans and mewls, wanting to brat out just a little.
“Hah-- I did say- a-ah… that I wanted you,” you half jested, trying to fend off your fleeting embarrassment, “w-what did you… hah-- expect?”
He stopped briefly, and lifted his face to look at you, sighing with his classic I could be eye rolling at you right now expression.
You smiled mischievously, fully aware he noticed the teasing.
Nanami brushed his fingers above your clit softly, not breaking eye contact, and you thrust your hips up again, mewling mindlessly. Huffing, you tried saying something, but he pressed his fingers a little more intently, having your words turn into incoherent moaning tumbling down past your lips.
At that moment, you just knew…
You stood defeated.
“Finally, you relentless little devil,” he mumbled, kissing his way down your body, as you huffed a few chuckles in between your pleasured sounds.
If he was so hellbent on shutting down your antics like that, you’d probably try to keep them going all night long. Perhaps you could even break his composure completely.
The idea was enticing.
However, he was the one about to break you apart completely, as you realized when his wet, hot tongue got seared-flat against your clit, and stroked on your glistened folds with the ravenous dedication of a starving man.
Nanami was delighted to have finally shut down your quick-wit tease mouth completely, especially like this.
In the back of his mind, he realized he’d gladly do it every time you got on his nerves.
Being a pretty tactile person, with heightened senses overall, Nanami was sure that tasting you would feel amazing, but this was otherworldly.
Completely enthralled, he began dipping his tongue inside you to drink you in, having your walls clenching immediately around it.
The sounds you made — your moaning and begging, as your thighs rubbed against his cheeks and fingers tugged on his hair — would be etched in his brain for eternity, he was sure of it.
The moment his hands pressed harder on your thighs, pulling them against his shoulders, and you let out a mixture of a squeal and a moan, something inside him snapped, sending his mouth into a feral quest against your cunt.
Groaning and panting into you, he lapped relentlessly on your folds, nuzzling your clit so intently it nearly sent you crawling over the walls. Your vision was white, starry, black, and then white again, and you wondered for a minute if this was all pleasure or if the light of the room was actually flickering.
Mouth agape, your moans bounced off the walls, and your back arched desperately, while your entire body tightened with the tell-tale signs of an intense orgasm. Your toes were curling, your ears were ringing, and your face contorted in desperate need for release.
“D-don’t stop- don’t… Hah-- I-m… I-I… Hah---!“
Upon hearing your pleas, Nanami latched his lips on your clit and sucked on it so powerfully you didn’t get tipped over the edge, but was effectively thrown from it with no parachute or lifeline.
Your entire body tensed and jolted. You came with a desperate cry, tightening your grip on his hair with bruising force. He let out a loud moan, trying to hold himself together as you fell apart on his mouth, and started to lick you softly to wean you off your high.
For a few seconds, your entire body stopped answering any voluntary movement signals from your brain, and you could’ve sworn you forgot your name.
You were sent to heaven and returned unscathed.
Coming back to Earth, your grip on him loosened, and Nanami brought his mouth up to one of your thighs, pressing gentle kisses over it.
When your vision wasn’t all abstract colors anymore, you looked down to see Nanami with hooded eyes, resting his chin over your mound, gazing at you like you were the most beautiful creature in existence.
Given what had just transpired, you found it to be incredibly absurd that this — him gazing at you — was what had you blushing violently.
But here you were, hiding your face under the back of your hand, as you chuckled sheepishly solely from the way he looked at you.
This beautiful, adoring man.
The urge to tell him how much you loved him came back, but even like this, so unclad and vulnerable, it was incredibly hard.
Nanami was barely blinking, wondering how he had allowed — or better, forced — himself to live without this, without you, for so long.
“I’m starting to feel embarrassed,” you said, equal parts joking and genuine, as you finally managed to meet his glance again.
He blinked a few times, being pulled from his thoughts, whispering a half-hearted apology as he crawled his way back to you.
His hair was a mess, his lips were rosy and puffy, and his eyes…
His eyes.
Trying to keep yourself from becoming a fluttering chaos all over again, you shook your head lightly as you resumed speaking.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” you cooed, sliding your fingers down his face, pressing your lips to his. Nanami pushed his tongue inside your mouth, and you moaned in response, tasting your essence mixed in with his own flavor.
God, you could kiss him and taste this for hours on end.
His mouth and tongue flowed and veered softly, with no rush other than to imprint your flavor in him. Nanami clearly was a kisser — a very good one —, and was delighted to keep exploring you like that for as long as you’d let him.
Suddenly, you had a little wicked idea creeping up on you, as you made some effort to finally part your lips from his and uttered, “you know what, I’m sorry.”
Nanami was puzzled.
“What do you m-“
With your strength back, you locked your legs on the sides of Nanami’s waist and rolled his body over, landing on top of him.
His breath was caught for a moment before he smiled at you. Smiling back, you straddled yourself back, diving your fingers on the edges of his boxers to slide them down.
Nanami helped you by raising his body, and the moment you removed the piece of clothing, his cock sprang out, bearing a flushed, bulbous, red tip that mutely slapped against his belly. It was bigger than you anticipated, thicker too, and you wondered if you could fit it all in your mouth.
Probably not.
You also didn’t fail to notice the very evident damp patch on his underwear from his pre-cum alone.
He must be desperate right now, you thought to yourself, enticingly amused.
However, the moment you were about to wrap your fingers around him and descend, Nanami held your hand and sat up. He seemed slightly… Embarrassed?
“Hm… what is it?” you asked, pressing against his hand.
He cleared his throat.
“I’m… very wound up. Could we…” Nanami mumbled, words dying on their way out.
Truth was, ever since the moment you were grinding your clothed cunt against him, his mind was boiling to the thought of burying himself inside you to the hilt.
There was no sugar-coating it.
“Oh…” you let out, “so… you want me too?” you asked, a hint of amusement to your voice.
You weren’t the only one needy tonight.
He sighed from the depths of his soul.
“Stop teasing.”
His voice came out raspy, more of a plea than an actual chide.
The man was crumbling down, and it was delightful to watch The Nanami Kento, always so unflappable, falling apart like this.
You chuckled and planted a quick kiss on his lips.
“I’m sorry,” you offered in earnest.
He exhaled gently, gaze towards you softening as he did.
You blushed a little before proceeding.
“Where is the…”
“First drawer.”
Everything happened quickly. You snatched the condom from his nightstand and opened it. Nanami took it from your hands and slid it down his length. A soft sigh escaped his lips as the rubber snapped at the end.
Softly crawling your way towards him, you put both hands on his shoulders to straddle on his lap. Nanami locked his gaze on you, not breaking eye contact even for a second, right up until you both finally kissed again.
His hands began making their way down your back, and then…
You felt it.
The tip of Nanami’s fingers pressed against the scar you had right over your spine, and you gasped in pain as it hit the bundle of tangled nerves bumping over your skin. You instantly backed your face away with an aching grimace.
Nanami had witnessed how you got that scar in the fateful mission in which you two met years ago.
The sound of the blade piercing through your skin and flesh still lingered on in his nightmares.
His hand retreated so quickly you barely felt it leaving your body.
Following the aftershock, you opened your eyes to see him with his own eyes sealed shut, and Nanami appeared to be crawling his way back into his mind. His expression, usually so calm and collected, was replaced by a pained frown of his brows.
“I apologize, I… I’m…” he muttered, and you realized this wasn’t an apology for what just happened.
He still blamed himself for what had taken place then.
It broke your heart to shambles to see him like that, knowing full well nothing that transpired that night was his fault.
You cupped his jaw in your palms, and pressed your forehead to his.
"Hey, stop it. Stop apologizing, you haven't failed me. You never failed me."
Nanami's eyes were still very much sealed, and he seemed to be pulling even further away from you as the memories swirled around in his mind.
"Please, look at me," you pleaded, nuzzling against his face.
After a sigh, he answered, "I… I can't."
And he truly couldn't, still feeling the shame eating away at his chest like a parasite.
You scrambled your mind after something that might help, and finally realized the only thing you could say to pull him back.
Shit.
You were still terrified, and your entire body tensed up.
This is it. Now. I have to tell him now.
According to Nanami, you were brave.
And love, apparently, is something brave people do.
Still cupping his jaw, you sighed before letting the words come out of your mouth.
"Nanami Kento, I love you."
Your voice didn’t falter or stutter. Your declaration smoothly left your lips as naturally as breathing — the same way loving him came to you.
His breath caught halfway out, and he finally opened his eyes, soft and bare, gazing into yours.
"I love you, I have loved you for so long, I…" you repeated, sighing greatly, "I love you."
Nanami opened his mouth, but for a second, nothing — not even a huff of air — would pass. Knotting away in his throat, the words also struggled to form.
Should he? Could he? How deep in trouble would this launch the both of you?
Surpassing his worries, eventually, the words finally came out.
"I love you too."
The guilt and trauma had taken a backseat in his mind, at least for now.
When you heard Nanami’s words — heard him say that he loved you too —, your heart immediately began fluttering, and you could've sworn there was a ringing sound around the both of you.
There wasn't, though, just as much as the honeyed dewy warm rain that prickled over your entire skin was a manifestation of your love ridden excited imagination.
Smiling, you pulled him in for a kiss, and he intently pressed his lips against yours, no exploration left to be done — your tongues, by this point of the night, had met and familiarized themselves with every inch of each other's mouths, breaths, and moans.
Mindlessly, his hands plastered themselves back into your body, and brushed up from your hips, to your waist, over your back all the way to your shoulder blades.
Nanami brought you even closer, and kept kneading his hands against you, almost as if he was trying to touch your entirety all at once.
His fingertips ghosted softly around your scar accidentally again, and your breath hitched for a second. You pulled your mouth from his, just long enough to say, "lay me down."
Nanami understood it, and acquiesced. Swiftly, he supported you from your shoulders and hips, laying you down like a porcelain treasure, and caged you in with one hand to each side of your head.
You both took a few moments to admire each other.
Nanami was a tall and broad man, but from underneath, he seemed even more mountainous. His angular face, his wide shoulders and muscular arms, everything about him was just grand.
In a second, though, interrupting your gazing, his hand pulled a pillow from the top of the bed, and he gently lifted your head to put it underneath.
That was it.
In the end, you knew that his kindness, just as grand as he was, was what stole your heart.
Nanami slowly descended over you, and supported himself with his forearm to the side of your head, using his free hand to part the slightly sweaty hair on your forehead and press a fleeting, soft kiss in between your brows. Your heart skipped a beat, and his mouth came down pecking at your face in the most delicate fashion, until it rested on one of your cheeks.
You guided your hand down and positioned his tip towards your entrance, noticing Nanami shuddering with the sensation of your fingers clasping around him. His hand got down to the side of your hip, and Nanami let out a soft huff as he began to slowly push his length inside. He could feel himself gliding along your slick folds, and scrunched his eyes shut as the tip got past the resistance of your ring, eyelashes brushing over your skin with a feathery lingerance.
To say he was savoring this down to the last infinitesimal tactile sensation would be a gross understatement.
You dragged the tips of your fingers down the muscles of his abdomen, seeing how he deliciously flexed himself inside you, as you savored this in your own way too.
Sinking inch by inch, you could feel all the muscle stretches while his girth accommodated inside your walls, widening and filling you as he slipped in further. Your mouth opened in a muted moan, and with a hazy mind, you turned your face towards his, having the tip of his nose brushing over until your noses bumped against each other.
You captured his lips haphazardly, and Nanami stroked his tongue over your mouth, groaning the moment he bottomed out inside you.
You felt him almost kissing your cervix with the tip of his cock, and your mind was sent spiraling with the shivers that shot up from your lower abdomen to your entire body. It got you fluttering around his shaft, and Nanami's grip on your hip suddenly tightened, as a strained groan fell from his lips.
It took you a second to realize exactly what was going on.
"I-I… need… a second,” he mustered up to say in a cracked, coarse voice. His length was throbbing strongly inside you, and his expression looked almost pained. You noticed his fist beside your head was strongly clenched around the bedsheet.
Nanami wasn't lying when he said he was very wound up.
You planted a small, loving peck over his cheek and drew your hands to the back of his head, gently brushing your thumbs against his hair until you felt Nanami’s body relaxing, and his pulse inside you evening out to something calmer. He eventually let go of the bedsheet and drew his hand closer, tangling his fingers in your hair.
In an easy, gradual pace, Nanami began dragging his length out from you, and did so completely, pushing back inside the same way, robbing you of a gasp the moment he bottomed out again. His hips began in a steady, calm rhythm, and from your mouth, came out what he could only say were the best sounds he had ever heard.
“Fuck-- y-you feel… so good…” you purred for him, sending pleasured shivers all over his body. You were both completely covered in sweat right now, and your bodies slapped against each other, sounds only covered by your begging whimpers.
However, as good as it was, you needed more. Greedily, you felt the increasing need of being completely taken apart, and this slow love making was not doing it for you.
“Harder…” you pleaded, and Nanami picked up the pace as soon as he heard you, thrusts becoming more intense. It was better, no doubt about it, but you still wanted more.
Your hungry desire had become something indescribable, and all you could do was mumble softly in between mewls, pleading him to go even harder.
Nanami was also feeling himself grow more and more intent on satisfying your pleas, and realized this might not be the best position to do so.
He stopped for a second, and you muttered in complaint.
However, your disquiet was short-lived, as he propped himself up, manhandling your hips to accompany him and pulled one of your legs straight, letting your ankle rest on his shoulder, supporting your leg with his arm's length and hand cupping your ass. Your other leg kept hooked around him, and this shift sent his cock even deeper.
“Harder?” Nanami asked, almost as a dare, with his disheveled hair falling over his forehead, a few golden strands tangling with sweat. There was something remotely playful in his eyes, and it sent your heart pounding inside your chest to see him in a way you had never seen before.
Oh, how you coveted to freeze this moment in time.
In answer to his question, you nodded, half-lidded eyes and an anticipation smile, only to be surprised with a thumb making its way to your bottom lip, softly asking its way in.
You obliged, and put your lips around it, sucking on his thumb, basking in the view of this boulder of a man completely shuddering to the sight and sensation of that.
Nanami pulled his hand back, resting his digit over your clit.
“Hold on to something, darling” he warned, having a cheeky smile pulling on his face.
In sweet anticipation, you pressed your hands against the wall on which the bed rested, and locked eyes with Nanami, just to see him admiring you for a moment before he made a complete mess out of you.
In a sharp motion, he thrust his cock into you so intensely his tip bumped fully against your cervix, trembling the bed on its foundations. Your head launched on the pillow, your mouth falling open to let out the loudest moan — if that sound even be called a moan — you had ever uttered in your entire life.
Not sparing you a moment to recover, he retreated and plunged again and again inside your cunt, sending wet plap sounds bouncing over the walls. Nanami began rutting into you, kissing you deeper and deeper with every thrust, and you were nearly yelling from the pleasurable pain with which he had you finally crumbling down.
“Fuck,” he let out, “is this-- hah- hard enough--?” Nanami asked half in jest, knowing full well he didn’t need an answer. The way your back began arching so deliciously as you yelled and mumbled incoherently was enough of a response.
Every time he’d thrust, your body would tense up, and your walls would suck him in. It was sending his mind into a wild spiral.
Nanami was mesmerized by your face, and had the faintest feeling that he might cum from it alone. You looked and sounded like you were having the most delicious, toe-curling, gut-wrenching, blissful-stupor inducing sex of your life.
And well, up until at that moment, you actually were.
Dear God, he could die right now, and he’d die the happiest man alive.
You were having shock waves of stupor-filled pleasure shooting through your body, and Nanami began circling his thumb over your throbbing, sensitive clit. Oh boy, did he have you seeing the entire Milky Way in a split second behind your eyelids. Your mind distantly registered the noise of dragging wood and your fingers starting to struggle reaching support behind your head.
Is the bed pushing away from the wall? Are we literally rocking the bed? Holy shit.
A heat you rarely felt began to burn like incandescent molten lava in your belly, and you looked at him wide eyed, holding out onto some kind of desperation.
Nanami barely registered that you were looking at him like that when he felt the warm spurts, getting his entire crotch completely greased. You squirted so intensely that for a second you felt like you actually fell unconscious, before coming back to the second wave — the continuum of earth-shattering, convulsing orgasms that always followed it.
He wasn’t ready to have you squirt all over his cock so fervently, letting out the most heavenly, luscious, indecent and pornographic sounds he had ever heard.
He could never be prepared for that.
The sheer scent alone sent shivers throughout his entire body. Your scent was completely smeared over him, slowly dripping down his thighs.
With your walls tightening around his cock, his own peak took him by surprise, as much as he had tried to hold it away. The most animalistic and ferocious groan came out of his mouth as thick strands of white cum filled up the condom. Nanami's entire body jerked, making it incredibly difficult to keep pumping himself into you without risking pulling out too much by mistake, so he just let the convulsing waves finish washing down his body before collapsing on the bed by your side.
You both took a moment to breathe, then two, then three, still panting like you had just run a marathon.
Hell, you were probably panting even harder than that.
"I'm… I’m s-sorry about… the mess," you apologized, huffing and puffing, face blushing as you rolled your eyes back, still recovering from the aftershock.
Nanami instantly turned your face to his, mouth agape and gaze locked onto your lips, as he, without uttering a word, thrust his tongue inside your mouth in an open-mouthed, wet, sloppy kiss. All while still panting heavily.
Pulling back, you smiled, asking, “nothing to apologize for?”
He huffed, smiling back at you, “nothing.”
You both felt like you'd have the best night of sleep of your lives.
Nanami would not, however, as the thoughts he shoved away to the back of his mind earlier that night were about to take him into unwanted nightmares.
End notes:
I can’t reread this again. I just can’t. Hope I got all the typos out, lol. Old version of this fic is here. When I read it a few weeks ago, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t quite like it, so I decided to give it a go on rewriting it. Three rewrites later, here it is, hope you guys enjoyed it.
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Tag list (for this fic + current AU tags):
@jadedjane @senseifupa @nikos-a-clown @fairy-corno @ldrcvlt
@magical-girl-b @montyrokz @hexrts-anatomy @g-kleran @otomesass
@redlikerozez @yammy-yammy-yama
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#jjk fanfic#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami smut#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento smut#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x y/n#kento x y/n#nanami kento x you#kento x you#kento x reader#kento nanami x y/n#kento nanami x you#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami x reader#kento nanami#jjk x reader fluff#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#Fuku writes#jujutsu partners au#tsukimefuku
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