#i think a lot of ppl here actually have similar tastes

[sotiriabellou]

I found your blog cause at one point you'd posted something in the Maria farantouri tag I think. I then followed you bc you also posted naruto or sth?

I mean who else has the range?

lmao thanks:)

[nolita-fairytale]

make my heart surrender (carmy berzatto x fem!reader) | chapter two: wednesday

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, lots of angst in this one, use of she/her pronouns, allusions to sex, eventual smut, smoking (plz remember smoking is injurious to your health, ppl), avoidance tactics, mentions of al-anon, no use of y/n, second person pov, mentions of death/mikey's suicide

word count: 3.3k

summary: while you get to know the kitchen staff of the bear a little better, you and carmy finally acknowledge the elephant in the room.

a/n: the song 'about you' by the 1975 makes me think of these two and is where the title comes from. also, i totally made up the pete has an airbnb thing but i just feel like he'd be in real estate or something with his little patagonia vests lol. anyways, happy valentine's day babes & enjoy!

read: part one | masterlist

Wednesday 

“Okay, this is some next level shit,” Marcus concludes, in between chews as he tries the brioche donuts you let rise overnight. “It’s got everything I like about the yeast donut but the flavor is so much more pronounced.”

“Carmy said you knew how to throw down but.”

Sydney nods, taking another bite of hers, and you watch as Fak holds the donut up to his ear, letting out a wild, “Wow.”

“Oh fuck,” Sydney practically groans, the salty-sweet flavors of the caramel hitting her taste buds.

Last night, pre-dinner shift, you were introduced to the colorful cast of characters that filled up this kitchen. There was Richie, Carmy’s not-biological-cousin cousin, and Tina, who’d been working in this kitchen since before any of you were born. And Neil the handyman, who somehow actively chose to go back his last name, Fak, which puzzled you. Then there was Ebrahim, who seemed to serve as the meat prep cook and the onsite first-aid guy. And Sydney, the brilliant sous who’d worked in fine dining kitchens till she came here, eager to learn from Carmy. 

It was a far cry from the kitchens you and Carmy used to work in but this kitchen there were similarities… things every kitchen has. Everyone has their own little quirks, preferences, styles…. 

They’re just a little more, well, allowed to be themselves and while overwhelming, you find it refreshing as well.

Fak smells the donut next, followed by another ‘wow,’ and your eyes widen as Fak begins licking just the icing. 

“Wow,” Fak repeats, carrying on his more-than-peculiar behavior. 

“Is he-?” you start, sharing a look with Sydney next. 

…alright? Is this normal? Is he okay?

“Yeah, sometimes we just let him–,” Sydney tries to explain, but she’s not quite sure how to explain Neil Fak to anyone outside of their ecosystem. 

“Okay.”

“Anyways, so this is just a personal preference and perhaps a symptom of too much time spent in fine dining, but I like to fuck around with weird flavors,” you continue to explain, in reference to the salty miso caramel creme pat you’ve filled the donut with. 

“I’m not much for too sweet-of-sweets,” you announce, earning a laugh from Marcus and Sydney. “... which yes, is a very odd thing to say for a pastry chef. So I like to find combinations that cut the sweetness of anything and give the taste buds another experience at the same time.”

“Which isn’t the direction you have to take your pastries, chef.”

Marcus shakes his head, “No, this is… super cool. And I like it a lot.”

“I apologize in advance if I sound like a total loser,” Sydney starts, placing her donut down on the paper towel. “But when I was at the CIA, I actually had your lemongrass creme brulee.

“With the black sesame ice cream?”

“And the sesame crumble.”

“Oh my god!” you exclaim. What a blast from the past. “Yeah, I had to fight hard to get some of those ingredients on the menu. You know. Before everyone thought it was cool to do shit like that.”

Sydney smiles in agreement, going back for more of her donut. 

“So what’re we workin’ on next, chef?” Marcus asks. He has his notebook out and has a few renderings drawn up with ideas he had last night. 

“Well now that we’ve built a great brioche together, I’d love to keep practicing your piping technique and-,” you begin, stopping mid sentence as Carmy joins the three of you. 

“Mornin’, chef! Hey, try this,” Marcus greets, ecstatic about the results of just a day of working with you, as he hands Carmy a donut. 

He takes it, immediately taking a bite. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he processes and dissects every single flavor note he experiences. You’re all quiet as you wait for his response. 

And honestly, you’re still pretty pissed off about him leaving you hanging the day before. After you and Marcus finished up your prep, you had made your way back to your airbnb – the one he set you up in when he asked you to come here. 

You had tried your best not to feel like a total loser as you hoped he'd reach out with an explanation. No call, no text, no nothing, wondering why he asked you to come in the first place. 

Carmy takes his time savoring his first bite. 

“I almost forgot how good you are at this,” he compliments, his tone neutral as if it’s just a fact. 

“Thank you, chef,” is all you say back to him. You clear your throat, avoiding his gaze, and continuing to go over today’s bake with Marcus. 

You don’t mean to ignore Carmy, but you’re not sure how to act around him either. One minute he’s ignoring you, and the next he’s making you breakfast. And then he’s standing you up, leaving in the hands of his brash cousin? Maybe, you think to yourself, it’s best to keep things professional between the two of you. 

*

You work with Marcus till an hour or so into the lunch shift. You both agreed to start your days early, since you’re only here for a week, so that you could cram as much knowledge in as possible.

Marcus asks if he can take point on flavor pairings for tomorrow’s donuts, and you agree, before parting ways till later this evening. You’ve got to come back later today from one more late night prep. 

You haven’t spoken much to Carmy at all since he came in. As much as you’ve tried to focus all of your attention on working with Marcus, Carmy has a commanding presence as he expedites. He’s got something most chefs don’t – true leadership – and it seems like his skills have only improved since he left New York. You gather up your things, preparing to take the subway home for a midday nap, heading out the back door. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were… out here,” you gasp. You're surprised to find Carmy sitting behind the shop, sitting a few stacked crates and smoking a cigarette.

Well, that part isn’t surprising – the smoking part. You contemplate taking a seat next to him and asking him for one, but you’re really trying to cut back these days.

“It’s-, you’re good,” he says, taking another drag. He exhales smoke and the eery feeling of deja vu overtakes you.

Instead of leaving, and continuing this game of avoidance, you stand your ground.

“Are you avoiding me?” you finally muster up the courage to ask. You try your best not to sound as angry with him as you are, to no avail, as more words begin tumbling out of your mouth. “Because, if I recall correctly, Carmy, you asked me to come out here.”

Carmy waits a beat, avoiding your gaze, and it only infuriates you further. You watch as he takes another hit off of the cigarette as you continue, your rage boiling up within you.

“I don’t get it!” you exclaim, shaking your head in pure disbelief. You’re trying your best not to shout. “You ask me to come out here, and make it as easy as possible for me to be here by putting me up in this airbnb, you make me breakfast, and then… what? It’s like-, it’s like I don’t exist?” 

He doesn’t answer.

“It’s always been like this with you. One step forward and five steps back.” 

You wait before saying the next thing. 

You’re not trying to be mean, but you’re hurt, and this whole experience has all been so confusing. 

“I guess I was fucking idiot to believe that you-, that you wanted me out here or something.”

“That’s not true,” Carmy denies, finally breaking his silence. Finally looking at you, even if just for a moment. His eyes return to the concrete pavement below him as he says, “I just-.”

You don’t want to scare him away now that he’s finally talking to you, but you also want answers. And there’s an elephant in the room that maybe, if you both just acknowledged it, could go away. He puts his cigarette out on the cement beneath his feat, tossing it away onto the concrete.

You lower your voice before speaking again. 

“Are you… do you still feel weird about what happened between us?” you ask cautiously, eager to fix whatever the hell it is between the two of you. “Because I didn’t think we’d have to talk about it since, well-, I just thought we said we’d just forget it. I mean, I’m not-, I don’t-, I just don’t want things to be this weird between us, Carm." 

In some ways, you don’t blame him. You had seen him at his absolute lowest: the day Mikey died. You wonder if he felt too ashamed of how vulnerable he had been. You wondered if he still felt weird about what had happened next….

You had argued with him that day – practically demanded that he not go in for dinner service that night. You knew he had wanted a distraction, but after the phone call, after learning what Mikey had done, you knew he was wrecked – even if he wouldn’t admit it. That level of denial couldn’t be healthy, but he'd snapped at you and you didn't think there was much you could do about it. It didn’t take long for him to blow up at a line cook mid-shift, and you had quickly ushered him into the walk-in. 

“Hey! You can’t do this shit. Not here. These people look up to you!” you had chastised him. “Listen, I’m going to give you five minutes to fuckin’ lose it in here, and then you’ve gotta pull it together and finish dinner service, okay?” 

Carmy had grabbed at his chest, and you knew he was having one of his breathing episodes. 

“Carmy, are you o-?"

He’d held out his hand, as if to stop you from coming any closer, so reluctantly, you’d left him to it, closing the door behind you. The sound of empty storage containers being thrown across the walk-in filled your ears, reinforcing your exact reasons why you hadn't thought it was a good idea for him to come in that night.

That night, you had made sure he got home okay, and he’d practically begged you to stay with him. It hadn’t been the first time you’d slept in the same bed, and you knew he was at his lowest point, in need of company. It hadn’t been until he started crying – sobbing really – that he finally broke.

“Carm,” you had whispered, unsure if he wanted you to acknowledge it or not. 

“Carmy.” 

He had turned to you so tenderly, practically folding himself into your body. You had never seen him like that as he’d buried his face into your chest, his body shaking against yours. 

“I’m so sorry, Carm. I’m so sorry,” you had whispered, over and over again. You stroked his hair, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain of your best friend, but you knew there wasn’t much you could do. You’d let him cry, continuing to run your fingers along his scalp and through his delicate curls, desperate to give him any kind of comfort your could.

When he finally looked up, all he could think to do was to kiss you. You had been taken aback -- caught off guard as you'd pulled away from him.

“Carmy, stop it. You’re not-, you’re not okay right now,” you had said, pushing him away. 

At that moment, his eyes were swollen, his face red, and he looked like you had just kicked his puppy. He had leaned his head against your chest again with a sigh, letting out another sob, and you’d felt that he’d put you in an impossible position. 

You’d have been lying if you said you hadn’t wanted it – hadn’t thought about it before – but Carmy had never given you any inkling that he was even interested in dating anyone. You had been perfectly fine being ‘just friends’ with him despite the whispers between the kitchen staff when no one thought you were listening. And now? You knew he wouldn’t be in the right headspace. It wouldn't be fair to either of you.

“I’m sorry, Carm,” you’d apologized softly. “I just feel like-, well I’d feel like I'd be taking advantage. I don’t think we should.”

His silence had only made you more nervous, beginning to over explain yourself.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I-, I do. I just… I don’t want you to regret it because… because you’re upset right now and cause you more-.”

“Please,” was all he'd said, breaking his silence and looking up at you with those sad, swollen blue eyes. He leans in to kiss you once more. 

“Please.”

In between kisses you’d managed to ask, “Are you- are you sure? Is this really what you-?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve wanted this for so long. Just-, please,” he whispered, murmuring your name into the soft kisses he had left on your skin. “Just wanna feel good.”

“Just wanna feel good.”

It was then that you’d realized what absolute fucking idiots the two of you had been for the past few years by ignoring this thing between the two of you. 

The truth was that you were fully, wholly, and stupidly in love with each other. 

“Yes,” you’d repeated, finally giving into him.

Even though it should’ve been a beginning, it felt like an end, but for one night, you’d indulged the both of you. 

“I know,” he says, his voice pulling you back into the present. His eyes are fixated on the pieces of gravel that sat between his feet. Even though you both agreed to it, he hadn’t forgotten about what happened between the two of you and he’s not sure if he should tell you that too. 

But that’s not what’s wrong. It’s not why he’s avoiding you. Or maybe it’s part of it. He hadn’t expected seeing you to be this hard. That it would bring it all back – wanting you – so much so that those incredibly big feelings had sent him running to a meeting. 

He just needed a place to be unapologetically fucked up. 

He’s not sure what he thought would happen – like you’d just fall into the same old rhythm of your friendship without a care in the world. 

He’d called Sydney yesterday and he could barely breathe. Sydney had told him to take the night off – that it wouldn’t help to come back to the kitchen that night – and that he had a whole week of you to prepare for. To figure this shit out. 

“I um,” he starts. He’s not sure why it’s so hard to get these words out; why it feels so difficult to tell you. “I’ve kinda been going to these al-anon meetings…ever since, well you know… since I got home.”

“Oh.”

Well that wasn’t what you were expecting him to say. You’re not sure what you were expecting him to say. That he hates you? That he couldn’t stand being in the same kitchen with you and yesterday brought it all back? That it was a mistake reaching out to you?

You sit down on the curb, next to Carmy, leaving plenty of space between the two of you. 

“My sister nagged me to go. Thought it was bullshit but… I don’t know why I kept going back. I still go three times a week.” 

You stare at the ground, not sure what to say next. All that comes out is:

“Well I feel like an asshole.”

He scoffs, moreso to himself, “No, you’re not. I-, I’m sorry. I should’ve-.”

You can tell he’s frustrated as he huffs, “I don’t know why this is so hard for me to tell you.”

You sigh, scooting a hair closer to your old friend. 

“I don’t know either, Carm. I-, we used to tell each other everything.”

“I know.” 

You catch his gaze, your eyes meeting with his, and it feels like you can’t breathe for a moment. 

“I should’ve called. Should’ve kept in touch. Guess I just feel like-, I don’t know,” Carmy admits, regretfully. “I know I’ve been….”

“Uh huh. You’ve been….” you trail off. 

“But I do. Want you here.”

And that’s the problem, he thinks to himself.

“I know I’ve been a dick. I shouldn't have-.”

You take a breath, processing all of it. 

“Can we… not have this conversation again?” you ask, taking a lighter tone this time. “I mean, we sorta had a very similar conversation to this yesterday… and now today… like… are you gonna stop being such a fuckin’ weirdo or what?”

He lets out a small laugh, “Yeah. Yeah I-, I’m gonna stop, well, you know.”

You chuckle in response, continuing to tease him, “Good because… you know usually when your friend comes to town you hang out a little, catch up, say hey hello how are you? I mean, maybe I’m totally out of pocket for this, but sometimes, you know… they even hug. Yeah, Carm, like, normal people.”

“Oh fuck you,” he mutters, jokingly. 

It’s quiet between the two of you, but for the first time in the last 48 hours, it's not weird. It’s a familiar quiet intimacy – something that reminds you of the before times. 

Before Mikey died.

Before you hooked up. 

“Hey, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to be here too,” you reassure in response to what he said earlier, bumping your shoulder up against his, playfully, earning the slightest smile from him. 

“How’s the place?”

“Surprisingly, very nice,” you answer, a mischievous tone in your voice like you know it’s going to start something. 

“What? You think I’d put you up in a shit place?” Carmy asks, feigning offense. 

“I’ve been in your New York apartment, Berzatto. Which is mostly why we spent most of our days off at mine,” you continue. 

He laughs dryly in response. 

“My brother-in-law manages a few airbnbs so… it’s the least I could do for… you know… you comin’ out here,” he explains. 

“Well thanks. It’s-, it’s great.” 

*

“I gotta get out of here early, and pick up the kid. Have a goodnight, sweetheart,” Richie says to you, about to head out of the restaurant. 

“Richie, what the fuck did I fuckin’ tell you about saying shit like that!” Carmen shouts back at his cousin, with an eye roll. 

“So sorry,” Richie says sarcastically, emphasizing your name after. “Gotta woke-ify everything in front of Carmen. Just a little baby.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Carmy yells across the kitchen, moving quickly through the closing shift chores. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie brushes off Carmy’s comment with an eye roll. 

“See you fucks tomorrow.”

“This look good, chef?” Marcus asks you, motioning for you to come over and take a look at the mixer. 

You reach down into the mixer, checking the dough for texture. 

“Yeah, looks good. Go ahead and grab a few sheet pans so we can shape these and we’ll cover ‘em so they can proof overnight,” you order, Marcus nodding in response. 

“Thank you, chef.” 

As Marcus disappears, in search of a few sheet pans, Carmy’s wiping down one of the prep stations. 

“Hey, you,” you say, a smile on your face as soon as you see him. 

After your talk this afternoon, things feel lighter. He feels lighter. 

“Hey,” he says, finishing up with his cleaning duty before making his way over to you. Carmy checks to see that Marcus hasn’t come back yet, and you notice.

“Great dinner service, huh?” you congratulate. 

“We’re gettin’ there,” he replies. “Smoothest it’s been so far. Since the reopen.”

Ah yes. The reopen. You’re still waiting to hear that story. 

“I was thinkin’, maybe we could do that catch up thing? Over a drink?” Carmy proposes, changing the subject, and you think to yourself that it’s the most confident you’ve ever seen him. 

“I-,” you start, as Marcus makes his way back towards the pastry area. “We’ve got one more late night prep tonight. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, spotting Marcus as well. “Tomorrow’s good.” 

“Goodnight, Carmy.”

“Goodnight.”

read: part three

[beesmygod]

one webcomics trend I've noticed for a bit is comics where the creator casts a wide net and publishes to as many sites as possible, so like there's a tumblr mirror, a webtoons mirror, a tapas mirror, a twitter mirror, I've even seen one that has a tiktok mirror (god). Some of these even have the decency to actually have their own website

the idea was to cast the widest possible net in order to get the maximum audience possible, as this was the excuse for people using webtoons despite it sucking raw hot dogs but i dont understand how on earth this strategy could ever work lol

full lol i love to hear myself talk damn. fucking. subnormality webcomic behavior

anyway to highlight the uselessness of google analytics, these are my analytics arranged on "looker studio", a google product i guess they forgot about, in order to make sense of the useless shit they're showing me. you can see this enormous traffic spike from a traffic bot farm advertising their services by ruining your metrics. you can no longer filter these urls from your data.

full image

here's my google adsense conspiracy theory from me shedding light on why i think (STRONG EMPHASIS ON "THINK". IM HYPOTHESIZING) with commentary from someone who knows way more about the subject than my armchair observations.

my marketing strategy is to talk bullshit with people with similar interests while letting people know when my comic updates twice a week. if they want to read it, they can. they're not stupid, they don't need to be forced into reading it if they want to. i assume most of my readers are as broke as i am so i don't hound them to give me money they don't have. i'll never run ads again unless its like. for a friend's thing. hand-cultivated by me. im not looking for a wide audience, i'm looking for an audience of people who "get it" and can see an inherent value in what i create. if they have some spare cash, i make my barrier to entry on my patreon extremely low; 1 dollar a month and you can see things early and go through a backlog of author commentary and design stuff and rewards im sooo behind on im so sorry. im so sick i promise, im coming back!!! anyway i just want real human people to have a chance to see things and enjoy things without making it a fucking hassle, you know.

the most organic, actual traffic i got from my site is from a friend's webcomic that links to mine. 11 people read a lot of pages! that's genuinely making my head spin! that's great! i hope they liked it and will check in again. i love the comic they came from so they are clearly ppl of taste lol.

oh uh. and heres my comic lol. for any cantankerous gay old losers out there.

[dephirium]

Dephi's predictions.

Hello. A bunch of people a lot smarter than me have already analyzed aspects of the prologue but I am bored and I want to get my thoughts out. General who I think survives or kills, ideas of what is going to happen, questions set up, directions of character arcs — That kind of stuff. It is just word vomit.

This is going to age like milk fast, I bet (I wrote this after the prologue was released). Also warning I have bad memory so correct me if I got a fact wrong or something, I rewatched the prologue sleep deprived so I am bound to make mistakes.

Spoilers for the prologue and stuff. Duh...

Also beware swearing, unfunny humor and the obligatory ''I am not above biases and personal taste'' warning.

Holy shit this took a while to make.

Miscellaneous hopes / guesses

(Considering the game's heavy ties with religion, here's a small blurb on that) I am not into religion and I have enough religious trauma as is but I think it would be very cool if there was a trial that paralleled the Ark of Noe situation; Someone saving only themselves, who god has deemed worthy, and leaving the sinners to drown is kind of similar to the death game premise. Also a case paralleling the Adam & Eve situation would be a neat but obvious pick considering the game's emphasis on it in their symbolism and themes. Just. The murders having some kind of tie-in with religion itself would be so interesting even if only on subtext.

Wonder why they didn't try to break the windows in the whole ‘Panicking bcs the gas’ bit (I mean yes it is necessary for the narrative for the characters to be put unconscious but it seems weird that nobody even attempted it or addressed it after-the-fact, nonetheless. Specially considering that they specifically addressed how helmet-wearing Jett was knocked out). Though Damon was very quick to fall, so maybe they did try it after he was knocked unconscious. Ah also it is very unlikely they were out for more than a day or two (because there are actually a lot of semantics involved in taking care of someone who is unconscious / unresponsive — and none of them are pretty y'all). Or maybe they did. Who knows with Danganronpa logic /shrug

Also the train was mentioned to be worse for wear than expected. Chekov's gun tells me it wasn't the actual train for Eden's Academy and they just yoinked the cast before the real one could arrive. As to the people Grace saw, it is likely that they were the mastermind group (The paintings depict many animals which could mean a group instead of a individual / the deadass confirmation we get with the tree of ignorance folk), hence why the knocking agent was planted beforehand.

What if Eden's garden is literally just a facade for talent yoinkers to kidnap and make ppl kill each other and who survives gets roped into the group lol. /hj

THE FUCK IS THE LIQUID ON THE BASEMENT??? It is not water, as it appears to be non-conductive, is way too much to seem like oil... Just. That whole sequence in the boiler room was so fucking weird, man. Is it water but doesn't touch any electrical wiring (Despite, I believe, the cables being mentioned as exposed)? is it NOT water? WHY IS THIS RELEVANT. IS THE DEATH GAME BEING HOSTED CLOSE TO WATER?

How fucking long did Damon and Eva take to get to the kitchen lol? Because they saw Akire on the floor (That was Akire, right? I remember the shoes looking like formal-wear...) and bee-lined to the kitchen afterward. Even supposing that canonically Damon checked every basement door to spite Eva (which isn't very long because Damon kind of gets bored after a bit of checking each room / is actually very on character so probably he did thinking about it), that leaves like... 10 minutes, tops. It just reads as weird in my opinion. Wonder if that is going to be mentioned later on.

I saw the walkthrough because my laptop had a aneurysm trying to load the game, but like. The tree of ignorance room has these... Egyptian hieroglyphs (?) Looking things that make me think that that's what going to open after each chapter / death. They look like mall stores what the fuck is this place (also it appears to have a second floor for what I remember ?)

Mara and Cara are very similar names. Wonder if they are related or something (they also both share a motif of guns) lol.

It is very likely that this isn't the first killing game, as per Cara's situation. However, it is very likely that it was a student council situation (meaning a "no trial just kill each other'' kind of deal), which would explain why Cara had a gun (because so far we haven't seen anywhere on the killing game ground that has access to fire weapons) and how the fuck the killer got away with such a simple killing plan.

Also considering the fact that all the cast calls Cara's murderer a man (idk why if gender neutral pronouns exist but ok) and that Tozu exists, it could be likely that he was Cara's murderer, and he won his killing game. or something. This also could explain why Tozu wanted them to solve how the culprit did it and not who the culprit is — He probably already knows who it was.

Considering what I said about Mara and Cara being similar, it kind of fits. That or he's related to a character of the cast. Maybe Wolfgang, considering his sheep-adjacent mask. Or both idk

It is very unlikely there's a mastermind amongst the students (kind of duh considering Tozu's whole ordeal, but still). However that doesn't remove the possibility of a traitor.

Speaking of, the death game grounds seem... Small? Like sure there's the living quarters, the "outside" and the tree of ignorance and they are somewhat big in their own right, but it just feels. Small in the context of official Danganronpa games. It is likely a engine limitation / self-imposed limitation for the devs sanity, probably, because doing a bigger environment would be more troublesome, but nonetheless I'm excited to see how they utilize the space. Maybe the areas that will open up in the tree of ignorance will help freshen things up.

GUESSES I HAVE FOR KILLING THINGS:

The locks in the living grounds are likely to become relevant in a trial (Probably the first), likely locking the cast out while the murderer is still inside? For what I remember the people who woke up on the tree of ignorance are not aware of the locks existence (Living quarters / outsiders are, however - Toshiko used them after all) and that could be weaponizable information in the trial.

I am super sure a death happens in the outside's fancy marble thingy and it will be beautiful and tragic.

Damon Maitsu

The vent connecting the boiler room to the kitchen is SO fucking obviously to be used as a killer's escape route I almost expect it to not be used just to spite us.

Start of prologue: Togami kinnie?

End of prologue: DAMON STOP UNLEASHING YOUR INNER TOGAMI GODDAMMIT

I have seen people speculating that Damon is going to die and there's going to be a Kaede / Shuichi protag switch, but honestly? I don't really see that happening considering the prologue already set up a very interesting character arc for him. BUT, I do see likely that there's a Komaeda chapter 4 situation where there's a POV switch for a bit with either Eva or Akire, most likely Eva because of her status as co-protag and/or sidekick.

Nonetheless, it is obvious that Damon is going to go through a character arc so he stops being such an ass to people. I love the guy but yes he needs to be knocked down that unhealthy mindset of his.

Because of his isolation from his peers it is likely that his motives to kill, if there are any, are family driven (It is also likely the fuck has heavy family issues because he kins togami too hard and that asshole didn't have a good relationship with his parents neither) the killing motives are likely to give us the context as to what nurtured this fuck’s god/inferiority complexes. Also because of this he would have the "protag doesn't have that big an incentive to kill" motive detachment like mister I Pissed The Bed Makoto Naegi.

Also people who are unable to see a nuanced / different take on the protagonist like Damon or Teruko on Despair Time without calling them names or misreading their characters pisses me off SO much, specially with Damon (Teruko is a different can of worms I am not opening today tyvm) because I am able to sympathize with him as someone ND who at some point decided to isolate from others and put this front of being a purely logical zero puny emotions individual because logic was just easier than facing complicated emotions I wasn't taught how to express and / or would be berated for. He's a interesting character a great deviation of the goody-two-shoes protagonist trope. I can't wait to see what they do with him and see him suffer and earn friendships with the cast.

Eva Tsukasa

I could go into detail but I am not that eloquent and other people have talked about it better. Here is a blurb-analysis of Damon in general and here is a analysis of him through the neurodivergent lens. Any opinion I have about the bastard is vocalized better by those two ngl (Eternity's Damon fics are also very good!) . I'll probably do my own separate blog about him if I have the energy, but I feel like I would just repeat points made better by other people.

Start of prologue: Pls don't be Kirigiri

End of prologue: PLS DON'T BE KOKICHI

Eva had a rough beginning because the first impression she gave was Kirigiri kinnie vibes and fun fact i fucking hated kirigiri on dr1 so i wasn't liking where this was going. That changed around 5 dialogues in with her saying she bridal carried Damon, which made me less prone to hate her on pure instinct. She's interesting! I like her a lot. I like the way that she and Damon share their pessimistic pragmatism and are the only two to shut down the whole buddy-buddy prospect; They both are very similar in a lot of ways, almost like character foils (but not quite — That's Akire) in a certain way. I cannot wait to see what they do with her talent, one of the most interesting ones I have seen in any fangan (though I do find it kinda dumb and a bit on the nose in a light hearted way).

Now onto the biased opinions — I think they shoot her shot way too early. While, yes, I found it very interesting that they didn't beat around the bush and didn't do the "ult ???" thing (I kinda find that troupe obnoxious at this point), I do view the fact that Eva's ultimate was revealed this early a very odd writing choice (and the reveal a bit clunky in personal writing taste). A good way to create intrigue and tension since the prologue to get the audience hooked, but I do wonder how do they plan to utilize her and this early reveal. In fact, if anything, this early reveal and her Eve motif - who doomed both her and Adam out of heaven's gates, and is literally implied to be bad since her conception out of Adam's left rib - make me wonder if she's being set up in a Rantaro fashion, and she'll be the reason the game starts (probably victim). I kinda hope not. She's an interesting character even if I believe that the most relevant part of her narrative was given far too early (although I do want to know how tf is Liar an ultimate talent).

Diana Venicia

Start of prologue: animal crossing character core

End of prologue: ... Are you a traitor lol?

She's a sweetheart and I don't trust it. With her sweet persona and her chameleon theming, she just screams killer red flags to me. I am unsure when exactly would she crack, but I think it would be kind of early on, like chapter 1-3 type of early. I think bears mention that everyone and their mom has called out the fact that Kara's dummy is way too realistic and her talent would enable to pull out that feat.

I don't see her being a particularly important blackened on the grand scheme of the narrative (unless she's in kahoots and she's like a traitor or whatever) but it would serve to show everyone the severity of the environment and how even the nicest person can crack against it.

The idea of yassifying a corpse to hide/obfuscate details of the cause of death or whatever is literally so so cool and I want it to happen so bad. But her and Kai's possible blackened situations (spoiler I do view both as killers as it makes the most thematic sense) seem a little too similar so probably if one is a killer the other will not.

Toshiko Kayura

Start of prologue: Hiyoko looking ass

End of prologue: Is your mouth fucked girlie

SIMILARLY, I don't trust the child. I am not sure why. She's good tho! I find her interesting enough for the setting and the prologue has set up enough with her character that I look forward whatever they want to do with her (and her formal way of speech is charming haha). I just hope it isn't a generic ''oh the kid is actually insane lol'' kind of deal as I am honestly tired of the Monaka twist, but I do see her being traitor adjacent at the very least. I don't see her killing (or, well, I hope™ she doesn't kill) but I can see her as a victim, probably in around chapters 3-4. I think the cast would try to be careful with her because she is the youngest of the group and that ends up being, partially, one of the reasons of her death. Everyone will be horrified if she does die.

Drawing it in the sand that her parents hated each other or something (or divorced), one had a meltdown and hurt her for whatever reason, hence why she uses her fan on her mouth. It'll probably become relevant later in her respective trial. Also this is the reason why she's a matchmaker.

Something something the bible story of Abraham being told by god to kill his child Isaac to prove his faith something

Cassy + Wenona

Start of prologue: Communism? / YOU'RE SO PRETTY

End of prologue: Oh so MrBeast then / Step on me!

Putting these two together because 1) I don't have much to say about them and 2) they are probably being used as character foils of one another so because of that my thoughts about them are interconnected. Here's my opinions of them:

Cassidy is... Okay. I like her well enough, she had her witty lines (the ace attorney reference was fun), and she feels cohesive enough for the setting and the other characters to not feel entirely out of place. Nonetheless, she is somewhat... irrelevant? Like, all her cards were played on the prologue itself, and there's no real way I can see her character becoming more relevant on the future or have any interesting development; She is a fun character, but not one I find interesting or relevant for the narrative. More like needing to fill lines because people need to die, probably. Her theming with spiders and that one sprite can prove me wrong, tho. Not saying she will kill, but that probably there's something else I am missing? (Addendum: this has taken me so long to write I had time to sit on my thoughts on Cassidy and I realized I kinda don't like how offhandedly mean she is lol. You know. Calling Damon bargain bin lawyer like that isn't an insult to his entire line of work and personhood and disguising it as a joke and all lmao. Wonder if this will be called out further down the line? Could be an interesting point of development for a otherwise stagnant character)

Wenona is interesting! Her design caught my eye since the train fuckery, and it made me deeply interested in her (also I like women so I am biased probably lol) and what her talent would be. While I kind of don't see how her appearance would convey the “ult entrepreneur” title all too well, I do forgive it because otherwise it is so fucking interesting and I am absolutely obsessed (and it's not fault of the writing and probably just personal taste of mine). Her possible character arc is a lot more obvious than Cassidy's, and ironically mirror Damon's "stop treating people like shit" own (Damon asking what is her deal when they are both assholes about talent and worth is very funny). I hope we get more information about her job and how she got where she is now are revealed because I am genuinely interested in her character trajectory and the parallels to the protagonist. Or maybe she stays in girlboss mode idk I wouldn't mind either way she can step on me regardless

I guess that in around chapter 2-3 Cassidy and Wenona are going to start to clash badly because of their different economic ideals (they probably clash on chapt 1 too but it is after a murder that things get worse as everyone becomes paranoid as hell). My guess is that they either end up killing each other or someone else uses the animosity to frame the kill on one of them.

I see Wenona having more chances of survival because so far Cassidy is kind of a (relatively) flat comedic character and doesn't have that many notes of character development / interesting said pieces. But I wouldn't be against her surviving to be honest. She's fun.

Grace Maddison

Start of prologue: SOYBEAN

End of prologue: You're literally a pacing risk huh

She's... a mixed bag. For one part, I like the fact that she raised a valid point in the trial despite the fact that she has been considered nothing more than the hotheaded, "stupid" vulgar one of the group. It gives her a decent amount of depth so far and makes me interested to see more of her. In the other... She's like disguised-Mukuro in dr1 for me, ngl. She's interesting, I can admit that, but definitely not a character I get too excited about (she's a bit annoying to me). Except I worry about how are they going to deal with her on trials, considering the fact that they had to literally knock her out on the mock trial so it could progress in a decent pacing (Which I kinda called out when I first saw her in the kitchen, but I thought she would've been a mukuro situation, details). Or maybe she dies first, which would be a shame ngl.

Wolfgang Akire

As she stands she seems to me like a pacing-risk character and it makes me worry about how they are going to use her going forward, although the fact that she was literally almost killed will probably chill her the fuck out while on trial. I just hope the writers manage to balance the fact that she's vulgar but not stupid as fuck. Oh and her and Akire's dynamic is very funny I love that

Trailer: Oh you get pegged™

Start of prologue: [Lost my shit laughing when I found he was called Wolfgang lol]

End of prologue: Unhinged bitch!! /pos

I like the parallelism of him and Damon! The attorney and the prosecutor, emotions and logic, the leader of the group (seemingly) and the social pariah. Akire is a character that works because in any other Danganronpa setting, he would be the protagonist. But the thing is this: He is not, here. This allows us to see raw sides of him that otherwise we wouldn't have — or that, in turn, we would have context for.

The mock trial meltdown works because we, as an audience, are seeing him through another person's (probably biased) perspective. The lack of interpersonal context of his thoughts or actions makes the slip of his calm demeanor to yelling—begging, almost—for reasoning of the killer's actions all the more jarring.

Anyhow thesis out of the way here are more thoughts:

This set up could not be achieved without Akire being the role he is, an antagonist for the mere factor that his entire existence is an antithesis of Damon's persona. But unlike the debater, who hides the fact that he cares and craves human connection, the lawyer hides a far uglier underside that he doesn't expose unless he is in familiar territory — His area of expertise, in fact — The courtroom. Quite literally, his territory, his area of expertise, his playground; He is confident in his abilities until he is quite literally denied the closure he craves for a killer's despicable actions against a ultimate.

In more ways than one, he, like Damon, probably has a god complex because of his title / the ultimates. He just demonstrates it... Subtly. He is the textbook example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Akire ends up killing I am like 70% sure of this. He's too unhinged, and we never had a rival who did commit a murder themselves on DR so it would be interesting? (Kokichi doesn't count). Also the "28 STAB WOUNDS" man committing a murder himself would be a interesting prospect, with the wolf in sheep's clothing themes he has going on; Specially considering that he is most likely going to become one of the surrogate leaders of the class.

Calling him out as the killer would probably generate a Mikan-esque situation (Not like Kai's levels of bad but more born out of respect and lie-ridden logic than pity/empathy hard emotion bait) of nobody believing Damon and it sounds fun. It would be an interesting prospect considering Damon's possible "getting people to trust me after isolating myself and overcome my own biases" character arc. What better way to make a climax for such than to go against the leader of the group and getting people to trust you despite the odds?

Oh also it is very likely a relative of his (probably his dad) killed a important woman in his life (probably his mom. Or like, someone else killed her and was never caught or something idk pick your poison mom dead either way) and that's why he became a lawyer / has such strong sense of justice and the reason why he had that more-or-less breakdown on the mock trial.

Some other stuff I won't go into detail

This is the dump of other things I wanted to mention but I am too low energy to dwell onto and I don't want to procrastinate on this draft more than I already have (ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I STARTED THIS)

Anyhow:

I view that Kai would also be a killer, using his charisma in the same way Diana would (in a very Mikan way, as he's used to playing his audience like a fiddle and fishing out emotional responses) but in a more hardcore manner. That and the fact that Kai has latched to Damon from the first second of the prologue, it's probably setting up the fact that Damon will need to bring down Kai for the sake of the truth - and probably the first example of hesitance as Damon will probably grow to be "friends" with the guy, having to fight puny emotions he never had before (not particularly romantic, but like. Damon purposefully isolated from peers, so having friends would be odd to him, especially since I think that Kai is getting close to him for self interest). I deem this happening very late, and probably a chapter before Akire kills, as it would be a decent pacing from progression of severity ("friend" social person using the group -> the literal leader of the class)

Jett and Mark are also being set up as foils to each other (or at least the closest thing to that. A really pronounced character dynamic I guess), and the fact that just like Toshiko's mouth Jett off the suit is not shown in the prologue nor any outside material makes it obvious that it'll be a plot point later down the line (if I recall the most popular theory - or maybe mentioned in the prologue, I don't remember - is that he got burned to hell in a car accident mid race?), which makes me think that Jett is not going to be a survivor for the same manner - specially since those two are in the path of having a character arc together and the tragedy of demise needs to be written. Mark is maaaybe going to survive in his stead. Similar to Cassy, Jett reads to me as a comedy character mostly so he's more expendable in that regard. Without mentioning the fact that Mark had the bitchface(tm) look in the train scene, which implies that something is going on with the guy (either referent to the train/the kidnap group, or Mark knows Damon from somewhere. It'd be funny if they were classmates or someshit and Mark couldn't stand Damon's ass back then please p:eg team it would be so funny)

Jean has so many death flags (WHY ARE YOU SWEARING TO PROTECT THE GROUP YOU ARE THE BIG CHARACTER IN A FANGAN YOU'RE NOT SAFE) and I am literally so fucking sad because I actually really like the guy. Like, I don't have any relevant notes of how he's written or implied of him or anything (although I have personal thoughts of his backstory which I included in the fic I made of Damon and the guy), he's a decent character. I just wanted to scream about the fact that I am 80% sure he doesn't survive and I will forever cry about it. Same with Ingrid.

Ulysses is being set up as relevant as a notekeeper (which is really cool!!!! I haven't seen that in a fangan before I don't think), but I sadly do think that anything relevant from his notes might be discovered post-mortem, either relevant to the killing game as a whole or the case that might have him as a victim. My dude is literally falling asleep standing I am deadass so worried for his safety.

I don't have anything remarkable to say about desmond or swan girl (I forgot her name sorry) besides the fact that swan girl is being kinda set up as the "oh the cinnamon roll killed someone", and "the shy girl is actually very dangerous" which I am not particularly mad about even if I deem a bit cliché at this point. I hope Desmond doesn't die tho he is cool.

That's everything. Sorry for taking forever on this shit I am not the greatest writing consistently

[sparkleswap]

can we have the music tastes of side staff/patients too please?? I love learning about characters...

okay yes... i can do this... like last time feel free to ignore ok this is all supplementary material baybee. ok

cyn - i think hed rlly like bowling for soup idk. maybe noah kahan ive heard ppl like him. oh hed love fox szn thats true and real 4ever. but most of all hed fuckin love johnny cash. integral characyer trait guys

mel - #1 la dispute fan... also enjoys of montreal & the magnetic fields. imo .

chip - i dunno smooth jazz maybe?? he can't handle stress right now give him something nice. bro cant even handle vocals in songs its too scary

orange - this is ur will wood fan people. i suppose. is miracle musical similar at all or do ppl just throw them together in the same playlists for fun. idk someone asked whod be a will wood fan and i guess ive decided the answer to that is orange. ur will wooder rep. or whateverrr

reesee - shuffled a random playlist and the song i got was by bo burnham so that's what im writing down ok. thats whats happening

party - i just know if i could sit him down with a daisy the great vinyl itd fix him. nayve foot ox too

cuddles - wait a minute who put ur name here stay back vile demon

rem - ummm. bad books. and... heart attack man. these are real ideas ive always had and NOT cruel jokes prommy

nya - LOVES hyperpop. or at least what i understand to be hyperpop dont take my word on it. ig whatever genre describes 100 gecs, vylet pony, AJ BLACK, and k1dzheart.

sunny - LOVES vocaloid. and utau. and all freaky little robot voices they eat it up. i dont actually know a lot of vocaloid artists i just know the songs but i think theyd love dance! vr dance! or mayb im judt rlly biased to the diary of underage observation series. siiighs

ik there are more side staff slash patients but um. i haven't thought abt them enough yet LOL. maybe 1 day ok thsi stiff takes time

[dearbisexual]

i have perfected my method for "lazy" vegetable fried rice and im going to share it with y'all because it tastes good, takes about 10 mins to make, and actually gets me to eat vegetables!! AND THERES NO CHOPPING INVOLVED, IF YOU SO CHOOSE. it also only dirties one pan, one spatula, and one plate and utensil(s) if you do it right, are you sold yet? idc let's go

ingredients:

leftover rice - hard requirement. im told by the internet it tastes the best if it's been refrigerated. but if you want to use fresh rice thats fine too, but that's an extra step and just know that i won't be listing that as a step below. you can use whatever kind of rice you want, ive been using basmati rice because my sister bought a GIANT bag of it and we've been making it for dinner a lot

vegetables - hard requirement. you can use fresh but 1) that requires chopping which is extra steps and cleanup. dad likes to buy these frozen "mixed vegetables" bags and they cook in the microwave in the bag and ive been using those, theyve got corn, peas, green beans, and carrots. you can obviously choose different frozen vegetables, they sell em in different mixes at the store

soy sauce - hard requirement. i don't have any notes for this one. use whatever kind of soy sauce you prefer

butter - soft requirement. recommended because it tastes good and most ppl have it but if you'd prefer, you can use a vegetable oil of your choice

sesame oil - soft requirement BUT EXTREMELY RECOMMENDED. it tastes so good. i know everyone may not be able to splurge for it or may have a sesame allergy but it's honestly what makes this taste so good for me

one egg - optional. fried rice usually has bits of egg in it like traditionally but i tried it and im not a fan of the added eggy flavor. i like the texture though, i might experiment with tofu in the future

hardware:

medium sized pan

spatula or similar

directions:

preheat your pan on medium heat. if you're using frozen vegetables, i recommend microwaving them for like, 2 mins to soften them up. they don't have to be piping hot, but they cook better if they're not totally frozen.

add about a tablespoon or two of butter to your pan. if you want egg, go ahead and fry your egg in the pan and put it to the side when it's to your liking, to be added back in later. once the veggies are softened, add as much or as little as you'd like to the pan. lightly drizzle in some sesame oil and soy sauce and saute for a few minutes, or until the veggies are hot.

IMPORTANT NOTE: if you add too much sesame oil, (or butter) your rice WILL be too greasy and give you a stomach ache (trust me). less is more here.

anyway, when the veggies are hot and have yknow mingled with the sesame oil and soy sauce, toss in your rice and stir fry. add a little more soy sauce if you think it needs it, but remember that you can always add in soy sauce to taste when you're done. add in your egg if you fried one, chopping it up with the spatula.

finally, once the rice has browned to your liking, slap it on a plate. you can wait for it to cool to dig in but i don't

and that's it! if you make this, you're required to tell me what you think, pretty please.

ALSO this is NOT an "authentic" fried rice recipe and i realize that, this is just something tasty i make for myself to eat vegetables.

ok that's it i love you bye

[stardustdiiving]

Got tagged by @/kanonavi! 20 fanfic writer questions thing

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

UMMM. I think around 13 probably. I anon or orphan a lot of old stuff

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

32.2k words…probably at least an extra 10k in orphaned stuff though

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Its been solely genshin since 2022. Usually something needs to be a primary tier fandom hyperfixation for me to even think about writing fanfic for it , and then even then I rarely finish more than 1-3 fics for it. Genshin broke this streak bc something shifted in my brain and I’ve finished around a dozen things for it somehow

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) source of inspiration (genshin — makoto, ei, wanderer character study) — 541 kudos

2) better days (genshin — zhongli & xiao erosion fic) — 254 kudos

3) Pattern Recognition (genshin — wanderer & Nahida sickfic) — 254 kudos

4) are you happy? (genshin — postcanon wanderer & nahida) — 142 kudos

5) marvel fic I wrote when I was 15 — 97 kudos

The 1st and 3rd most kudoed fics were actually the first genshin fic I wrote + the first and only bnha fic I wrote when I was 16 but they don’t count because they’re like my disowned children who I should probably orphan but don’t in case I want the option to delete them? I feel they were made before I really processed how to characterize the characters n what sector of fanon I wanted to contribute to, so they’re really like, generic fandom tropey to me and vastly different compared to how I usually write in a way I find kind of unbearable. I am really deliberate in my art n writing in trying to appeal to my own specific n niche fandom tastes so to help me find a similar crowd of people to hang out with and am usually pretty successful in nailing the niche. But for these fics it feels I not only didn’t try to target my own tastes I somehow managed to write something I feel only people who like the fanon I actively don’t vibe with would like ?!? I have no idea how that happened!

it would be if I somehow managed to write a hat radish fic that had “maternal Nahida and her edgy teen son Wanderer” written all over the characterization as if this is not fanon I actively dislike and a lot of how I write hat radish is often motivated by me trying to fulfill my own preferences because I find them in conflict with a lot of fic I read about them? JSDJDNDJ. Itd be like. Where did that come from. How was this written by me. Its one thing to not like my work but how do I have a finished thing I fundamentally disagree with on all grounds that make up my interest in why I may want to write fic about a certain thing in the first place. Disowned child moment

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YEAH always even if I’m slow too. This is an extension of my habit with my art I usually always respond to every comment on my work I get even if it just feels like me repeating thank you over and over bc i like to acknowledge people who r interested in what I’m doing as much as possible to convey I appreciate it. I think it’s always helped in building a sense of community/connection w ppl which is what I’m more interested in as opposed to quantity of interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk why this keeps happening but at least half my fics fall under “bittersweet” to “hurt no comfort” territory because I . Hmm. love character study that invokes complicated or ambiguous emotions. I think that’s the trend here

Id probably nominate someone to watch me die?. Its a xiaoven fic that was born out of me being interested portraying a xiaoven dynamic that felt at least somewhat believable characterization wise but pitched studying how venti & xiao’s deep rooted issues could clash with each other in a relationship in a way that’s rlly accidental and tragic when put with their feasible compatibility n care for each other. I have it on anon bc I have weirdly mixed feelings for it bc it feels like a xiaoven fic that probably appeals to any faction of xiao or venti fan who isn’t big on xv far more than a xv shipper

But idk how to advertise it as that bc it’s not like that audience would be in the xv tag?? and it’s specifically romantic xv so it categorically should be there. But it being in the tag feels weirdly hostile to me. I guess I feel it comes off as a fic that exists to be kinda contrarian and hostile to most ppls enjoyment of xiaoven but that wasn’t my intention :( it was made out of my own enjoyment of xiaoven….i just process romance weirdly and I think am more down with ship fic where the ship is kinda depressingly dysfunctional more than other ppl may be. I like the fic quite a bit but I just don’t feel it has a place to Go fandom environment wise

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I HAVE. no idea I feel like no fic I have up leaves off with emotions that are meant to be solely happy. The closest I get is bittersweet . Um. The scripted end of pattern recognition would take this spot but it like. Doesn’t exist yet (but it will…soon…..w)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HM. I don’t think I ever have. Probably in part I don’t write enough for it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Look at this shrimp 🦐

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I actually love fandom crossovers as indulgent thinking exercises but I usually never get indulgent enough to write fic about it. However I did write a 30k Steven universe gravity falls crossover where the GF characters were SU gems in 2 months when I was 12 and I have no idea how I did that but it was crazy. Thats still the longest thing I’ve written . It was so much

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated a fan comic of mine I made when I was 13 a few times but never a fanfic iirc

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Surprisingly no!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I do shipping in such a weird specific way. My go to answer for this is bakudeku bnha but I kind of lose all feeling for a hyperfixation after it ends most of the time so I don’t really…actively like it…sort of….but it’s also a vague ride or die thing to me…it’s complicated… the fandom environment for it is so unrecognizable to me since I was into bnha idk how to talk to people about it anymore particularly the new generation of fans. I don’t really like actively Ship them in a fandom way but fictional romantic relationships that r very influential to me are Pearlrose Steven universe and Anthy/Utena from rgu

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mainly just want to finish pattern recognition and I think I will. Ummm. Usually if I don’t finish something it’s bc I just lost interest in seeing it finished

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think people usually like my characterization especially in terms of like, exploring or pitching certain aspects/interpretations of a characterization . Like I feel people usually respond specifically with like “wow interesting characterization. Im adding that to my system of beliefs” this applies to both funny headcanons and more serious character portrayals.

I feel I’m also usually decent at atmosphere and invoking more visceral emotions when needed especially when the emotions in question are like. Mental Illness Monologues (tm) or jarring panic/fear/discomfort idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I. struggle. SO bad with like. Organizing how to execute all the thoughts I want conveyed in writing, especially the order of hie things should flow. If I want to hit on multiple traits of a characterization I’m doing for ex I have a hard time figuring out how to order it into a cohesive thing. This is kicking my ass with my oc comic story rn

I also have a hard time with subtlety & trusting my writing to speak for itself. I usually have very detailed thoughts on what I want to communicate and have to do a lot of shifting around to find a balance of feeling things are conveyed clearly enough to be caught onto and interpreted but not overexplained. Its not even a matter of feeling I need to dumb stuff down it feels more like me trying to write emotional analysis of writing I find interesting before doing the writing that would be Fun To Analyze. This is kind of the torture labyrinth when usually all I want to write is emotional subtlety and naunce

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk my usual rule is I don’t like when it feels forced. I feel I see it used with ship pet names a lot but as someone who doesn’t get the appeal of pet names conceptually it’s often almost a dealbreaker for me in fics if it feels forced in to be cute , and is not something I can realistically imagine character A doing for character B. Like it just wigs me out. I have no idea why I get such a strong reaction out of it

But I’m really on board when it feels like people pulling from their own experiences with being bilingual or sharing a similar background with the character. When it feels intuitive I rock it as fleshing out the character’s background and people really understanding the societal background and environment the characters exist in

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I have no idea actually omg. Especially in terms of what was first published

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Idk I don’t really enjoy my writing? Often when i finish a piece of writing I am usually satisfied I’ve executed an idea or communicated The Things but I’m not actively happy or proud of anything. Its like talking to me. I talk for myself and based off I want to say but overwhelmingly talking is for communicating with Other People so once it leaves my brain my experience with its existence ends and now it’s all about other people’s experience. This somehow does not apply to my visual artwork where part of the motivation to create it involves how my experience with it continues after its completion

Ummm. I guess my intuitive answer to the question is Pattern Recognition in the sense I feels it Conveys The Most I want to convey about a subject. But it’s also like the fic I cant stand to read the most and doing so is usually an ocd trigger too. Its complicated. I very much write for myself and my own interests and i never force myself to do so but having favorites or enjoying my work just feels incompatible with my brain somehow. And somehow this does not discourage me from writing at all

[tapedsleeves]

Thank you <333 Everyone is so loveable 😭 I'm so glad you added Hutton cause I vaguely remember him playing in a few games but the lip sync video is sooo funny

One last batch of questions if you're up to it cause I adore how you describe everyone <3 looking at the roster I think the last guys left are Barbie and ammo? (the funniest nicknames 😂) and guys like Dorofeyev, brisson, and jiri patera but I think they might fall under the Henderson duckling group?

also if you don't mind, I keep seeing patches and Reilly smith pop up when I scroll thru himbeaux's blog. I've heard a lot about marc andre fleury before but I didn't realize how many other ex-players were also so beloved! I'd love to hear about any of them if you have the time

There are actually a couple I haven't talked about in depth, but Hertl & Hanifin have only been on the team since the trade deadline. I don't know probably more about them than you do.

So, here's the list of current roster guys I'm gonna touch on: Ivan Barbashev, Michael Amadio, Pavel Dorofeyev, Brendan Brisson, Brett Howden, and Jonas Rondbjerg

and the traded guys I'm gonna talk about: Marc-Andre Fleury, Reilly Smith, Max Pacioretty, Robin Lehner, Ryan Reaves, Erik Haula, and Dylan Coghlan.

Now you see why I was like "I don't know if I can do it all in one ask" - because not only is team chemistry defined by who's there currently it is SO informed by who's been there.

These blurbs are probably gonna be shorter, because there's (counts) 14 of them.

That's many. And there are some that I don't know a whole bunch about. That's truer for some than others.

Ivan Barbashev Traded to VGK at the trade deadline in 2023. Learned about the trade at the same time as his wife (she screamed in the other room). was very excited to play with petro again, since they're good friends. got headbutted by LT and was very cute about it. his little face when jack yells He's actually just. giggly in general. he was part of the 12 Knights of Giving and was VERY VERY cute about giving ppl their groceries for free. his face on this save is REALLY CUTE. He fell off the bus during the STL parade. this supports my theory that he's made of like. variable density. it's impossible to knock him over and yet he is SO fast and agile? it's fucking wild.

he's got really good taste in sunglasses

2. Michael amadio: UNDERRATED!!!! i love Ammo. based on getty, i think either he and nic roy have very similar schedules or ride in together bc they are almost always in walkin photos together. i'm just now finding this out.

I don't know a lot about him, because he's very quiet, but he's got really nice eyelashes and his face looks very soft. even his beard. even his voice is soft & deep. he seems really nice. just a cool room guy.

3. Pavel Dorofeyev: Dorothea!!!. Ok so this is not his actual nickname. I call him this bc when Dave Goucher says his name on the broadcast it sounds like Dorothea. And when Dave had Laryngitis, and he said his full name, it truly sounded like he said "pebble dorothea." this is his name in my head.

Dorothea is SO cute. He looks like a Tall Bitty to me, and i can't get that out of my head.

I know that's not very informative, but that's just.

true.

when Brendan Gallagher busted his teeth in, alec martinez picked them up and carried them to him. Dorothea is one of the HSK guys, who are the closest.

4. Brendan Brisson - son of famous agent Pat Brisson. babysat by Sidney crosby. Umich guy. lots of ppl know more about him than me. always wants to tuck himself into a hug. this is very funny hwen the other guy is shorter than him

lots of people who followed him at umich know more about him than me, i'm sure.

5. Brett Howden: Bread!!! Just a sweet young manitoban guy. Childhood friend of nolan patrick went through Tampa & New York before coming to Vegas. changed his play style to play with Mark. Was part of the 2018 WJC team, but hasn't been implicated in any crimes :(

Grabbed Marchy by the jersey and yelled "we did it we did it" when they won the cup

Jonathan Marchessault followed up with him after and said "oh i had to tell you, when i had my vision of winning the cup, we weren't wearing the white (away) jerseys. we were wearing the gold ones"

indicating that??? Marchy??? has prophetic visions?? and shares them with brett howden???? what the hell is happenign here i love this so much. (seriously this video has SO MUCH. keegan kolesar kissing marchessault on the face SO MUCH. jack and marchy beign sO romantic about Marchy's conn smythe win "I did it for - you did it for me." / "that's the best thing i've ever seen" and all the i love yous. I just. love them)

6. Jonas Rondbjerg - Ronny is just a really sweet, quiet HSK guy! he's not the main roster, so when he gets called up, he hangs with the guys he knows. He was best friends with Jake Leschyshyn before he got traded to the NYR.

Notable Guys who've been traded

Marc- Andre Fleury - found out he got traded on twitter. Known prankster. Everyone loves him, excellent but aging goalie who is going to retire after 24-25. After retirement, he's moving back to Vegas to live during the non-summer months. If he hadn't been a goalie, probably he'd have been captain. I love him so much and he tried to fight jordan binnington while he was on the Wild.

Reilly Smith - OG Golden Misfit, traded to VGK with Jonathan Marchessault. Jonathan Marchessault said of him that he was relieved when they got drafted / traded that wasn't scared to go to a new place bc he would know somebody. And when Smitty joined VGK for their White House Cup Visit, Jonathan said in the interview after "Everywhere he is is home a little bit"

Reilly started the Battle For Vegas, a charity baseball game during the summer, which is a great time which Jack Eichel took over since Smitty got traded. Said "What a time to be alive" with an absolutely blasted voice while on the ice right after they won the cup.

Max Pacioretty - Traded to Vegas after doing frankly a nuclear option with his prior agent (switching to Allan Walsh on draft day) because talks with Montreal had gotten so bad. was SO happy to be in Vegas. When Stone was traded in February, was kind of worried bc they'd been such rivals during their time in MTL & OTT respectively. but they were almost immediately complimentary of each other. They were best friends. Patch says that he knew, almost as soon as Mark came in that he was gonna be the captain. Which is WILD. Bc it had been almost 3 season without them having one. but Mark is their captain. He was right.

Ryan Reaves - is a GREAT room guy, and a WONDERFUL guy off the ice. Loves a prank. ate spicy chocolate. He's done B4V a couple of summers (he did it last year iirc) and it's just. Really sweet. A lot of these guys just. really really bonded for life during that first year, you know? I know that Belly is still friends with a bunch of the OG Misfits, and so is Reavo (he was pumped to play on the wild with flower, for instance). Reavo said that when mark stone fought tomas hertl that "Those hands aren’t made to fight; they’re made to dance. They’re supposed to be soft." basically "I'd rather they let ME do the fighting, their hands are meant for better things" like. ReAVO MY GUY. UGH.

i love him

Erik Haula - Another guy who does B4V, got traded to the Canes (who mistreated him) and is now with the Devils (who love him). Is still best friends with Karly.

Dylan Coghlan - came to VGK in the Erik Haula trade from the Canes system. Was VERY VERY good friends with the younger guys, Haguer, Roysie, Whitecloud, Keegan, Howden, etc. Went to a concert with Jack, Haguer, & HOwdy/ Also still does B4V and excels at it. Is a defensemen, but when we didn't have any forwards, filled in. I would know him by his teeth anywhere (very distinctive). adorable.

[birthdaycakeplate]

same anon asking for Blitzbee fic recommendations, tried to message you but unfortunately your account is set to only people you follow doing that.

but hmmm, I'd say my personal taste in fics are actually slow burns, I really like fics that focus on Blitzwing and Bee forming an unlikely relationship based on their 'home lives' in a sense of it, where neither are understood and often viewed as annoyances/loose canons leading both to a feeling of isolation and a mild desperation/willingness to connect with anyone even at the risk of 'treason' for interacting with the other side.

I also enjoy the progression for Blitzwing of seeing Bumblebee as a harmless amusement to him somehow becoming a bit of a hyper focus that causes the big bad con to develop some empathy and *gasp* morals.

Meanwhile Bee is just a cocky little bastard who refuses to accept Blitzwing as the actual threat he is and then feelings are caught when his view of the world is shifted and he finds out Decepticons are also actually just people with complex feelings and motivations (also bonus if break down of autobots 'all warbuilds are evil because' bs is broken down)

I realize now I'm rambling so apologies its just a very fun ship to babble about.

If I was to ask for any fic, if you could set one in your Nemesis AU that be amazing, the size difference you give in that is spectacular like omg I stare so politely.

Also the concept is just very fun to me and I'd love to see that au world expanded.

As for spicy content I don't really have any ideas? Sorry I'm actually terrible at writing it my only preferences are Blitz top and preferably consensual.

for ease if we keep talking like this I'll sign off as

Curiosity

GOD, of course I invited you to talk with me and then blocked you from doing that elekkeem 🌝 I think I fixed my messaging where I’ll get your stuff now, if you’d like to try again 😭 I swear I’m always this dysfunctional.

But anyway, your message here is good, true, andfantastic. I CRY. Your view on the ship is perfect and pure D,8

I LOVE when Blitzwing is stunned when his desire to squash the useless yellow gnat and be done with him is suddenly evaporated by the sudden realization this guy is slowly becoming the only thing in his life fun and full of life (and kind of precious if he’s being honest, ok???). Because their chemistry is crazy- they’re both wrekcless little freaks when left to their own devices, but full time loyal, fucked up little creatures to the ones closest to them. The handful Blitzwing can afford to let in to his life, even if ‘friends’ isn’t the word he’d use, and the few Bumblebee can make real connections with, when he’s a mischievous ant with a complex to make ‘something great’ of himself.

But he already IS great and bad boy Blitzwing needs to make it his immediate life’s goal to get that through to him and give him lots of love. (I ramble, too, you’re in good company)

I’m bad at stating my thoughts, I get overwhelmed when it’s my own emotions. But I typed and retyped something along the lines of how I’m noticing we have lots of similarities here in terms of what our favorite flavor of Blitzbee is 🩷🩷🩷 I bet lots of ppl who read this would agree with you and appreciate you throwing out there the love language of these complete messes of men✨

Does that mean my attempt to translate these tastes into fiction beside my ideas will make for good reading and also provide you a happy source of top Blitz/blitzbee? God, I HOPE so. You deserve it and I’m going to try.

I have the first chapter half written, because-

OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE MY AUTBOTS JOIN THE NEMESIS AU STUFF EKEKKEE

OoooOOOHhhh aAHHHHHHHH

I SCREEEEEEAM 💕💕💕 thank you???!!! That means so much to ME and makes me insanely happy, because I was so surprised when you said that, and I REALIZED how amazing it is to hear a thing like that. That I’ve got a thing going I didn’t imagine would become liked enough for a fic request for it.

I’m hoping to finish this first chapter by next Friday. Probably sooner than that? But I’m scared life won’t allow it. Thanks for your messages💕

(The other anons who messaged me, too, about some top Blitzwing fic stuff, I see you and I’m elated to hear from so many of you, thank you✨)

[cats-of-eden-valley]

I absolutely adore this project and since I've been thinking about my own xenomoggy WIP a lot recently, I now have a bunch of very niche questions.

1) How similar to real-world felines are these guys? Like, what things can they eat? Are citrus-like fruits poisonous to them? Are things like mint poisonous?

2) Are they obligate carnivores or do they lean a bit more omnivorous, like canines?

3) Can they taste sweetness? If so, what kind of sweet food do they eat?

4) How technologically advanced are they? Do they cook their food? If they do, what foods are different in each pride? Do they use spices?

5) Can they make tea? Because the idea of someone's mother or friends making them tea when they're upset/sad is absolutely adorable.

Sorry for the obnoxious amount of questions, this project is giving me major brainworms 😅

Don't feel pressured to answer if you don't want to, or the questions are too spoiler-y!

Hope you have a good day/night!

-🦇 (can I sign off as bat anon? I've seen that done on other blogs, but I'm not sure is it okay here)

THANK YOU you're so sweet!! (and yes please join the xenomoggies)

I kinda just dumped these thoughts into point form in the notes app so I'm giving you these answers fresh and unadulterated

There's a solid mix of fantasy and realism. For instance, their colour vision is roughly equal to ours, but they still have good night vision (or maybe it's just that two moons means the night vision isn't actually as good). Overall anatomy and function is otherwise p similar (which some exceptions) and I do have thoughts on what they eat.

Their diet relies heavily on meat, but fruits and mushrooms frequently end up in the mix. Canines are a good comparison!

The acidic aspect of citrus-like fruits wouldn't appeal to them, and they still can't taste sweet, but other more mild fruits have high water content that make them an important addition to the diet even if the taste doesn't appeal.

Mushrooms are important because they are the only thing that really actively grows during the Sleeping Year, but they don't contain much water.  Still, nutrients is nutrients.

There's also a number of plants that can be safely ingested and which can provide medicinal value, but here's something most people don't realize: medicine is usually just poison, but in small enough amounts to help you instead of kill you.

Regardless, most of the plants are made-up (the ones that aren't, still have different names (what im saying is most ppl wouldn't realize they are real)) so the I Do What I Want rule applies to poison vs medicine vs edible uwu

Unsure of the specifics of cooking yet, though it's a tentative yes. Strongly considering giving Goldspring a sort of endless stew situation that they just keep adding to and maintain for the course of a year. Fire is risky business in this setting, but given the fact they live in a volcanic region, there are other ways to cook one's food. Hell, maybe that's what allowed these cat societies to exist in the first place

spices is an interesting question, like I'd guess they would mix foods for the sake of taste so it doesn't seem too much a stretch that they would add in normally non-edible plants to enhance flavour. So yeah, it prolly happens.

Teas would mostly be medicinal, and probably frequently mixed with animal blood.  Everyone complains about it but at least it does what the healers say it does.  Plus, the inability to taste sweet I think would take most of the pleasure out of it??? Listen I don't drink tea but if someone who does has a better take, I'm all ears lol

As for their technological advancement, think of humans around mid ice age era. They have elegantly designed tools (ranging from knives to sewing needles to hammers), impressive leatherworking (tanning, cleaning, sewing), some textiles (associated dyes included), and limited infrastructure (consisting largely of living infrastructure woven from milksap aerial roots and occasional supports and modifications to existing natural shelters, also natural paths are maintained throughout the area)

But they lack weaponry (hard-baked into honour code systems that are enforced by the prides) and anything requiring multiple bodies to build/maintain (can't sustain population density). No farming (though I'm itching for some Weird Bird Domestication taking its first shaky steps in one of the prides, prolly Bogden)

[minquiec]

regurgitation of my jipunk headcanons here heeheehaahaa

Might update these as I go but these are all I have so far

- post getting together jia listens to london boy religiously whenever she misses him

- jia is kind of communicatively constipated in terms of dating ie if she wants to hug she doesn't know how to ask so she kinda just stares him down but I have this hc where hobie is stupidly good at reading ppl so he gets it anyways (with some difficulty bc he doesn't understand right away but knows she wants smth) but he gets used to it over time HHHAHSNRRGKKKGJ

- he definitely does that thing when they hold hands and he puts it into his jacket pocket AARRGGGGHHHH

- she listens to mostly everything music wise but her genre is like leaning towards pop so sometimes he makes fun of her for it

--> probably goes on rants abt punk music but she just listens like yep yep :]

- hb brings over british chinese takeaway just to piss her off for fun

- good singer but can't do it in command gf x can't sing bf

- they're both good w kids (babysitter hours open 24/7)

- "You're so fucking annoying." "I know 😁"

(out grocery shopping)

- someone: why tf is everything so expensive

- at the same time:

"capitalism" "inflation"

- has an actual driving license gf x does not but illegally drives bf

- sometimes jia just goes and takes out the kids for a ride to visit places or shopping (for a taste of that normality y'know AUEGH)

- cat likers unite

- jia wants to hear the kids call her jie jie so badly (dead babysat kids things LELLL)

- they're both flexible but jia is significantly more flexible

- jia has BBBAAADDDD mood swings during period but hb is pretty well versed in what to do (don't ask how he just knows) so he's pretty accommodating when her emotions are out of wack

- hb loves simple intimacy like skin to skin contact like not even in a sexual way but it's where it could just be like a hand on her neck or when she's in looser clothes he'd just hold her waist under her shirt to feel the warm skin there. there's smth about the feeling of warmness under his hand that grounds him (tears are pouring out my eyes rn)

--> I saw this hc where he has this chronic pain bc of getting flung around and stuffs so imagine sometimes he just wordlessly heads over to her place unannounced cause the dull ache in his bones makes it hard to even think 🥲 he does it cause One: her world is a lot less chaotic and her apartment is pretty quiet (despite the awful traffic and noise pollution [it's cause she lives somewhere rlly high up in the building so it's kinda far away y'know])

And Two: bringing it back to the skin thing, while it doesn't make the pain go away it makes it a little more bearable 🕳️🤸

And Three: she's there to help and he knows it AAARRGRFHHEJKJRNNNENSJJW

The way they look at each other (when the other isn't looking back):

J:

She looks at him as if he's the sunrise or the stars. (Sees him as something so breathtaking, compared to natural beauty in the world ie sunset and stars.) Eyes bright and in wonder. Wide to take everything in as if she's scared to lose him when she closes her eyes again.

H:

Looks at her as if she's the ocean or afternoon sun in a house. (Sees her as something comforting, compared to mundane intimacy.) Eyes soft and relaxed. Often half lidded as he skims over her face to commit it to memory. (SIMILARITIES TO HOW CATS SQUINT THEIR EYES TO SHOW AFFECTION = WIDE EYES: ALERT, CLOSED EYES: TRUST.)

- hb isn't exactly like, protective cause he knows she can handle herself (esp when she goes around carrying that expanding metal staff of hers to smack anything and anyOne) but if he rlly wanted to, a good bonk over the head with his guitar never hurts anyone (except the idiot getting bonked)

- JIA ON THE OTHER HAND HAHSHAS she doesn't get jealous and isn't confrontational but she will side eye someone real hard if they start talking smack abt him HAHA and when they turn around she'll like pull this face and start shit talking them either in chn or to him

Starts looking like this BASLKWNSHAHAHAH

- doberman x orange cat (she's such an orange cat I'm sorry she's so dumb /affectionate)

- she has this obsession w his tummy for some bizarre reason cause she just thinks it's so cute❓‼️❓ like she would poke and prod at it and squish it and agagshshsb SHE JUST THINKS ITS SOSO CUTE CAUSE ITS SO SOFT AND SO WARM AND SHE JUST WANNA PET IT

- hb doesn't really get nervous or flustered a lot and so 98% of the time it's jia going asfdjkhj but he does get rlly nervy when she gets close to his chest cause his heart goes rlly fast around her 📈📈 and he thinks it's embarrassing and doesn't want her to hear ANNSSSKKFJJJEJKSJJDBBFKLLBE

- he does this thing where he like leaves guitar picks in strategic yet not strategic places around her apartment like he'd either put it in plain sight or hide it and he does it bc One. To tick her off when she finds it or smth and Two. He comes over alot anyways so he might as well cause you KNOW he's bringing his guitar everywhere so it'd probably be them sitting on her couch and he'll just pull a pick out from under her lamp??? And then start playing and she's just like ????? Where???

- he likes her hands a lot like he likes to hold it in his palm and just turn it over in his hands ☹️ cause her hands are obviously smaller and it's so cute to him but he just really like the way hands look ‼️‼️ cause he thinks hands are important in both literal and metaphorical sense so he appreciates them lots ALSO likes to kiss her hands a lot DIES AND EXPLODES like finger tips, palms, the back of her hands anywhere is free real estate 🔥 bites them too cause he's annoying like that /loving

- jia does this thing where she sometimes furrow her eyebrows tm and hb likes to

Like

Press his thumb against that middle space between the eyebrows ❓ to rub it flat ❓ (maybe kith it HAAUGEGGRGGR) and keeps reminding her to stop cause she's gon get a headache with all that muscle tension

- hb likes to do this DUMBASS thing where he'd just walk in to the bathroom even if she's using it

But the thing is he's not even like paying attention to her half the time he just

Doesn't care and likes to tick her off

And so he just barges in and jia would look up from her phone with a expression like this

- hb is currently rivalling and competing with the cat belonging to jia's neighbour for the first place spot of her affections LMAO he's rlly beefing w that cat cause jia babies it to the end of the earth

- smth I find cute is jia wears her watch like hb and idk why it makes me ehehgkrjdghfg cause in the movie he wears the interface on the inside of his wrist and so does jia bc LEARNING LITTLE HABITS FROM UR PARTNER IS SOOOO ‼️‼️

CORNY IDIOTS I HATE THEM (they consume my every waking thought)

[shapom]

stupid question but do you have any hcs or any pic references for the members in nynfgf? like how they dress or how they look etc etc… love ur writing so much ^_^🩵

not a stupid question! thank you for asking !!

😅😅 this makes me feel like a bad writer but i feel like most of my headcanons will just be in the story ? i do have a lot of ideas that build the main couple up but maybe I should have some ideas that are separate..

headcanons (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK bc most of these will be in the story later):

-nayeon has penis envy. she tried to use the bathroom designated for alphas as a kid and got in trouble. shes comfortable and doesnt have dysphoria but she does really want one. she has an absurd collection of straps in every length and thickness to please the omegas she hooks up with -jeongyeon's first gf was significantly older than her and it was an *interesting* dynamic -momo is an omega who has only ever dated omegas. shes been in love with mina since they met -sana is capable but was not ambitious in school so she worked low stakes jobs after college before taking a sales (phone operator) job at jeongyeon's company. she worked on a different floor before she was promoted to a contract hire (her current role) and happened to spot jeongyeon 1.5 years before the start of NYNFGF. she had a huge crush on her and immediately tried to meet her but was unsuccessful. thats why shes so casual about offering to help jeongyeon and hooking up with her, she never forgot about jeongyeon (but she isnt obsessed) -jihyo isnt closeted but is pissed at having to perpetually come out as an alpha who is into alphas. she likes really masculine types who are never into her -mina had some internalized homophobia before she dated momo and tried to date alphas. all the relationships ended badly (she also had bad taste in alphas) and she is kind of an omega version of a misandrist

SMC will show up at some point but have very small roles so i'll save their details for the story

i have somewhat deliberately not visually defined the members bc i want people to imagine what they like. nayeon definitely has that brown hair she will never give up though HAHA

visual references:

i have two ideas for Jeongyeon. i mainly like to imagine her similar to this WIL look, but with actual hair / not the bad wig lol. she has jet black hair (or black or brown) and its short

if people dont like this look i have also imagined her around FS era. the point is she has a natural hair color and a low maintenance haircut

style wise she wears suits (black or gray with a white collared shirt and simple tie) to work but doesnt wear the jacket when shes at her desk. i dont have any jeongyeon references here bc all the suits she has worn have been too fitted or too baggy. i imagine this jeongyeon to have less of a feminine body/less curves so the suit does fit her more like a man (loose, isnt tight on her hips or bust). her height is supposed to be the same IRL but if ppl want to imagine her a little taller thats fine too

Sana i imagined her close to how she is now, but maybe less supermodel looking? less thin, with a fuller face, but with brown hair. i like this IGY pic bc its recent but she doesnt look intimidating hot like she does in her Prada ads..

style wise she dresses very in line with japanese fashions, except her clothes are kind of simple and structured. she doesnt wear clothing with a lot of ruffles or overly feminine patterns but always looks very feminine in contrast to how simple her clothes are if that makes sense?

sorry for potato quality

these photos are not examples of what she would wear because she is a little more feminine than this but theyre an example of how feminine she looks wearing a simple outfit if that makes sense ??

omg i think i spent an hour on this ask i hope this helps anon and sorry if the visuals are different that what you wanted!

[fallen-faerie]

coffindollie copied your intro post

" copied this copied that "

i've gotten so many messages accusing ppl of "copying" me. or accusing me of "copying" others.

literally just let ppl do why makes them happy. if it looks similar to mine then who cares??? i think its cool that they like similar things as me. thats why i follow her. im not here to dictate what ppl can and can't like or can and can't post on their OWN blog. if it makes her happy then thats fine!!

idk if u genuinely were trying to warn me with good intentions or ur just trying to cause drama, but just know:

i do not care. i do not care what other ppl do online, i do not care what ppl do with their lives or how they choose to dress, portay themselves, etc. i do not care if they have a similar aesthetic or vibes as me. i LOVE meeting ppl who i have stuff in common with💜

i'm going to be 26 years old in a matter of days and i don't have the time, energy or desire to put others down or make them feel bad because they like my aesthetic or like the same aesthetic as me. its just childish. everyone takes inspiration from everyone. its very, very hard to find anything that is 100% unique and hasn't been done before. its 2023. what is the point of accusing ppl and being mean just because they like something that you also like? when u could literally just be friends with them and have a community where u can share ideas and bond over interests. i love @coffindollie and her blog. i love all her edits and her overall aesthetic. i love that we post a lot of the same stuff. i share her posts all the time because i like them.

just be nice to ppl. let them do what they want. the accusations and drama are so unnecessary and ugly and i don't want any part in it. i've had more than my fair share of having to deal with bullies and ppl just wanting to be cruel to others and i don't care about that shit anymore.

unless someone blatantly plagiarized my art, like my crochet, or my writing, or original artwork, then i don't care. and edits don't count as original artwork. because if we are being honest, 99% of the posts and edits ppl make on tumblr are NOT made with their own original photos and artwork. ppl post stuff from pinterest, google, deviant art, web archives, ebay, etc. and i like that. i love that tumblr allows ppl to share things they've found and give others the opportunity to make pretty edits or share them again on their own blogs. if i like something then i post it. nothing i post is with the intention of wanting to be like anybody else. it just means i genuinely LIKE that thing. and im almost positive that anybody doing something similar as me is doing it because they LIKE it. not to "copy" me.

thats just a weird, negative, and creepy way of thinking. ive seen plenty of stuff that looks almost identical to what ive done. and when i was younger and immature, it USED to bother me. but now i know its because i inspire ppl, or i may have introduced someone to something, or because i have good taste in a lot of things! its actually a compliment! if someone does the same thing you do its because what ur doing is obviously appealing to them in some way, or they wouldn't have done it in the first place.

trigger warning for this next part:

sorry for the rant, but im just so over it. im tired of ppl trying to start drama with ppl they don't even know. or trying to bring me into drama. i don't hate anybody or have issues with anyone. it makes me have so much anxiety when ppl are unnecessarily mean. i myself have been a victim of bullying to the point of harming myself or attempting suicide. its not okay. and i still don't understand why ppl are fine with making others feel bad about themselves.

im just here to post what interests me and what makes me happy. im not by any means a gatekeeper of my style or my interests. if u love the same stuff as me then lets be friends💜🖤 i would love to meet u and discuss our interests together 🥰

[felinemotif]

also, uno reverse, book rec ask game questions 9, 22, 25, 48, 85, 89, 124, 131! feel free to pick and choose <3

<3333

9. your favorite book of 2020

i can't remember what year i read most of my books, let alone years back, but upon some googling my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell was originally published that year and since i love that book, let's just say it was that one.

will say though for anyone considering reading it that as a warning, the ending isn't what most would find satisfying but it did make sense to me.

22. your favorite thriller

i don't read thriller as often as i would like to, to be honest. i usually get distracted by books from different genres (namely historical fiction). always open for recs though!

in the future for this genre i am looking forward to reading the paris apartment by lucy foley. i've been told that it's good.

25. a book by your favorite author

perhaps the easiest question i've ever been asked in my 20+ years of life. without a doubt this would be in the dream house by carmen maria machado. i've recommended this book + author countless times on my blog and irl for good reason; carmen is a master of her craft, and this was such a raw and intensely honest memoir.

there's a long list of content warnings as it dives deep into domestic abuse in a sapphic relationship so for anyone who would like to read it, please take care to check that ahead of time.

i think it's the most important thing i have ever, and will ever, read.

48. your favorite sci-fi novel

without a doubt this would be into the drowning deep by mira grant. this is about terrifying mermaids and sisterhood and is soooo atmospheric. it's a follow-up to the author's novella rolling in the deep, and i do think it needs to be read in order. lots of horror elements too. overall it's just a really enjoyable book.

i think i actually have a pdf of into the drowning deep saved somewhere on my laptop and can send it to anyone who would be interested.

85. your favorite book about magical realism

it's been a while but i want to say that the gilded wolves by roshani chokshi was magical realism??? possibly??? it was found family + heist + paris, 1889 + magic with a beautiful and diverse set of characters and touched on issues like ableism, anti-semitism and racism.

honestly just talking about it makes me want to reread it. i still need to get the sequel dkfj

really upped my standards for ya.

89. a book that disappointed you

...i don't like holly black's the cruel prince at all. i wanted to, but i couldn't get into it. i think she's a talented author though! this one was just a miss for me.

124. the book you're currently reading

house of hunger by alexis henderson.

this is a sapphic retelling of the blood countess; it's been described as kinda vampires, but not really and... yeah that's really what it is. it has the vampire aesthetic; one of the main characters has her teeth fashioned into a vampires' fangs and she drinks blood. but she's not a vampire. you know how in the past some ppl thought drinking or washing yourself with someone's blood was thought to be a cure for ailments or like. a fountain of youth type of situation?? that's what's happening here. very gothic and atmospheric and i am already planning on buying henderson's other book, the year of the witching.

131. tag somebody with whom you would want to buddy read a book

apologies in advance if any of you don't like being tagged! feel free to just lmk and i can remove your @. but oh my so many people on here would be fun to read with! i know @hexgh0ul and i seem to have very similar tastes in media (yellowjackets, interview with the vampire, dracula to name a few) so i feel like we could definitely find smth we'd both enjoy and have a good discussion on.

@waffleinator-inator is another one!!! maya has great taste and i already do really enjoy talking literature with her so buddy reading smth new to both of us would be fun <3

@ladytauria is someone i have exchanged recs with as well and another one with excellent taste in fiction so hmu sometime /hj

and ofc you as well, it turns out, since i'm learning today that we both really enjoy some of the same books, at least for ya which you're never too old for imo

i'd be happy with buddy reading with anyone though tbh i read a pretty wide variety and each mutual could be matched with something different :)

bookish asks

[raytorosaurus]

funny how everyone says boy division is their fave when spotify play counts for light behind your eyes and world is ugly are higher. also boy division is overrated (i love it but i'll die on the hill that everyone is just blinded by it being an upbeat opening track) (tomorrow's money is far superior to boy division) (and number five is the best of the collection)

lol i can see why those two from number three have a lot of streams from more casual fans because they have like...'sing-alongable' lyrics and are that classic kind of palatable angst yk, but boy division is very solidly the fan favourite in more dedicated bandom circles. and yeah i kinda agree sjdkgl - tho i hesitate to call things overrated bc often ppl take it to mean "i don't like it just because it's popular" when in this case i really mean i do love boy division and think it's a great song but just genuinely don't understand why it's this much more popular than the rest of cw, you know? (poll here)

i do get that it's really fun and that they played it a lot this tour and we were all excited about that together so that makes it more fun - what i don't get is why they played it so much this tour (i.e. why it was so loudly a fan favourite above all the others before then). it just really surprises me that it was The most played song besides the every-show staples, with the single exception of mama. look in your heart is it truly anywhere near as good as mama </3 (stats from this awesome awesome spreadsheet by @onedaythisday)

i know that sometimes things are fun to love because they're loved - like it's much more fun to be really hyped up about them playing a "deep cut" fan favourite when everyone can lose their minds in excitement together, i totally get that. a similar thing happens with heaven help us imo. boy division and heaven help us - both really great songs that i love, but which have a reputation of being the stand-out "best" from their respective collections that i don't understand. tomorrow's money is by far my favourite on conventional weapons - of course personal taste accounts for a lot but i do genuinely believe that if any song on cw could be called underrated and truly hold up against their best stuff, it's tomorrow's money. it's lyrically and musically much more interesting than a lot of cw, the production is really fun, the breakdown and distorted screams scratch my brain soooooo good, and it really plays on mcr's strengths as a dual guitar band with a ray toro up their sleeve lol. i also think kiss the ring is a lot more interesting than boy division and sooo fun but they didn't play that one at ALL :( again, just my taste - i defs get boy division being people's fave, just struggle to understand why it's considered such a singular standout.

my actual unpopular cw opinion is that i think surrender the night is a bottom tier mcr song JSDKFLSDF sorry anon. bottom tier mcr already puts them at better than most other songs out there at least. i definitely appreciate it wayyyy much more now after seeing the live version where it actually feels like the guitars are doing something interesting (it might actually have been promoted to second-bottom-tier actually) but the studio version feels kinda flat to me. also imo gerard shot himself in the foot by saying it sounded something geoff rickly would write because if it was a thursday song it would sound better SDKLGJSDKLGJLDS. but that's just me tho i understand why people like it. number one (tomorrow's money and boy division) is probably my fave overall, tho number four (kiss the ring and make room) comes close. then five because burn bright slaps hard.

[thatgirlkalani]

bye?

I'm at a point in my life where I'm in full blown self destruct mode my life is a series of unfortunate events and it Dosent seem to be getting any better I have no will to live but I'm scared to die..not really scared to do but scared to do it myself...every couple of weeks its something new and fuccin terrible its been like that since the car crash I literally can't catch a break I can't win and I'm so mf tired of it after all the shit I been thru I still care too much I still love too hard I still give too many fuccs and I don't know how to turn it off I Juss wanna be numb or not exist or some shit I'm always seeing the good in people when the human race is literally shit. I feel like everybody in my life currently doesn't fwm as much as I fw them and I'm over exerting and ppl don't actually like me and I know they don't care how I do I can tell by little things...not answering a text..a call. bluffing on a link...and I just sense energies ... I don't have friends that are like me and I haven't in years and the one I did have. I lost at no fault of my own all of my friendships and relationships go to shit anytime somebody makes me happy they leave or get taken or change but something always goes wrong I find somebody I actually care or want to care about and get traumatized by it I have horrible taste in men bc. I seem to only want the ones that are gonna ruin my life stress me out or could give two fuccs how I feel and its crazy because they seem to be the only ones I relate or feel close to then its alll down tf hill from there. Idk if my poor choices in men comes from wanting to get as far from people like my family or from my long ass list of SA history but either way its gone to shit all these niggas do is hurt the feelings that I barley have , disappoint me, not give a Fucc inconvenience me or all of the above....the hyper sexuality has calmed down for the time being but the hyper fixation has kicked in there's no in-between I'm either completely cool on everybody, hyper sexual because I need to be in control of my body or I'm hyper fixated... normally on somebody who could give two shits.. and can't find interest in anybody else which is where I'm currently at...and I have every reason to be obsessed with this man even tho I know I shouldn't but its too late bc I genuinely fwh again I know better but currently I'm stuck and at a point where I hate myself because I watch him want/give everybody a chance but me then I'm forced to hear about it but have to play it cool bc I Juss want to keep him in my life atp bc. I don't have much... I don't really know how to pinpoint where all my abandonment issues came from but at the same time I can point out specific situations that have added to them because everyone that I attach myself to leaves.. and or hurts tf out of me and its been happening since I was 14 friendships and relationships alike.....why I really Juss wanna disconnect from everybody and I do ever so often but I get lonely and I hate that I wish I didn't need anybody.. I wish a lot I wish I didn't hate myself..I wish I didn't give so many chances.. wish I didn't love people who don't love me bacc...wish I could go numb, wish I didn't have mommy and daddy issues mannn fml. the. mommy and daddy issues is a whole other story because they weren't abusive in anyway except emotionally and I don't think they meant it but I just can't get past it... its hard to show affection to them and shit of that nature I wish we were closer I wish we shared similar views I wish I was comfortable going to them but I don't..im the. blacc sheep of the family and even if they wont admit it they know and I feel it.. I'm honestly tired of existing tired of the panic attacks tired of the manic episodes tired of the abandonment issues tired or the attachment issues tired of it all I really don't wanna be here doing this atp I'm only living for my grandmas...and. I guess my parents idk bc I don't wanna be here but I don't wanna hurt them..but I feel like I have nothing and no one anyone I had anyone I related to anyone that was my..