#i think I'm just gonna accept that I'm not gonna do well on my exam tomorrow bc I cannot focus on studying at all rn

[spursthatjinglejanglejingle]

[octoberautumnbox]

Consider: Yubin who's your seatmate and is very professional in school but every night at 10pm you get the raciest, sauciest, spiciest nudes from her with no warning

Hell Week

tripleS Gong Yubin & Male Reader

Categories/warnings: smut, that's p much all anyone needs to know i think

Word count: 5.5k holy shit

a/n: jeez howd it get this long :nolookk: oh btw i took some liberties with the prompt not that u care heres the fuckin yubin fic :DDDD

~~~

A hand lays itself on your shoulder, the sudden contact nearly making you jump. You turn around and find Yubin clutching a book to her chest with a gentle look on her features. Gesture over to the chair across from you, all the while trying to get your heart rate back under control. 

“My bad, didn't see you were locked in.” She gets into the chair left of you anyway and turns her book to the same page as yours. “How's it going?”

You stretch and groan to let out as much of your tiredness as you can, paying just a bit of mind to everyone else in the library doing pretty much the same. “Dunno. Around twenty minutes ago I accepted I'm retaking this class. What's up with you?”

She giggles while her eyes scan across the paragraphs talking about desert flora and types of precipitation. She rests her cheek on her palm, “I still have a bit of fight in me, but I'm losing hope. I was hoping I could borrow some from you.”

“Sorry, Yubin,” you whisper with every ounce of sympathy you had, “fresh out.” You return to your own book, yet all you do is run your eyes over the same page over and over without much staying in your head. 

A cursory look over to your left shows you scholar-mode Gong Yubin: focused, sharp, and serious. Not that it ever got in the way of you two being friends, but when she gets like this, you know better than to underestimate her–she's capable of plotting the downfall of kingdoms if she set her mind to it. 

However, at the same time, you notice her distress, then immediately notice how well she hides it. It's the same slight crease of her eyebrows in freshman orientation, after midterms in Linguistics 103, and when she finally stopped putting off Geology 102. The realization dawns on you: the situation is dire now that she asks for your help while she's like this, so how could you let her down now?

“Bet you I can score higher,” you challenge her. You have no good reason to issue such a proposition, but if it means giving her support how it matters, whatever embarrassing thing she'll make you do is more than worth it.

It piques her interest and a smile pulls up the corners of her lips. She side-eyes you with an excitement she didn't have just two minutes prior, and you know it worked. “If I win,” she announces as loud as she's allowed to, “make me thick tofu stew. The right way.” 

“Really? That's it?” Then you rebut with just as much fervor, “If I win, you do three of my essays in comparative lit next semester.”

“Now hold the fuck on,” she stumbles, her eyes grown wide and her smile grown toothy, “if you're gonna raise the stakes like that, I need to think of something else!”

Your phone and hers vibrate at the same time, and your screen reads “Get your ass over to Geog.” You both pack your bags and head off to your last Geology class before finals together, and as your book takes its place in the darkness of your backpack, “Fine, but I get to change mine too when I hear yours,” and the spring in her step as you walk tells you it's mission accomplished. 

~~~

In hindsight, it really wasn’t all that bad. The class review session your professor held that day helped you nail down just enough of whatever the fuck sleet might be, and while you're certain it isn't flying colors, your grade at least wouldn't be red. 

Coming out of the exam room, you spot Yubin just seconds before she finds you, and your good deed pays for itself as she skips to approach. 

“Got a good feeling?” There was no point in asking other than that you had to hear it from her, though the wide grin on her face was proof enough. 

“Yeah, I think barely,” she sways cutely from side to side, “and don't think you're off the hook!” She hits you light on the arm, and the most shining feature you can’t ignore is her eyebrows without any sign or symptom of the crease. 

“Not over ‘til the fat lady sings, Gong Yubin,” though you know she's already won. “Three whole essays against… Haven't you decided yet?”

“No, not yet, but the bet is still on!”

You relent, “Fine, fine. Anyway, Nakyoung’s treating the gang to drinks tonight. Wanna come?”

“Nah, busy. Laundry and stuff.” She shifts her weight from foot to foot, and you can tell she’s giddy about what her grade is going to turn out to be. It’s a sight for sore eyes, especially ones that have seen too many grainy tectonic plates and water cycle diagrams. “And why do you insist on full-naming her?”

“I know someone whose name sounds the exact same. As far as I’m concerned, our Nakyoung’s the other Naky.” You place your hand on the small of her back and lead her away from the doorway, and she walks with you without a second thought.

“Mean. You’ll have to introduce me to this first Naky, then.” You slide into rhythm with her gait, and it hits you just how relieved you are for Yubin’s worries to be over. 

It seems such a waste, you think, that laundry is the only thing keeping her away from celebrating, so as you walk out of the Social Sciences building, you bargain one more time: “We’ll be there all night, so just come by when you’re done. I speak for everyone when I say we want you to come, please?”

She giggles again, “I’ll see what I can do. It’s not like I don’t wanna be there, either. Plus,” she admits defeatedly, “we’re getting the results later, and God knows I’d rather not be alone when it comes.” 

~~~

“Hey, where's Yubin?” Nakyoung slings an arm around your shoulder and shoves another mug of beer into your hand. It's a welcome gesture, and it takes all of two and a half seconds for you to down half of it. 

“She has laundry,” you nearly shout back your reply above the music. “Said she'll drop by if she has time.”

Nakyoung makes to yell another reply right into your ear, but decides to pull you away into one of the quieter booths in the bar. “She's a goody-two-shoes, no? Laundry, oh please. Kaede hasn't done laundry in two years.” She takes a gulp of her own beer and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Hey. She studied her ass off for that test. I made a bet with her and it looks like she has high spirits, but I honestly dunno what I'd do if she fails.”

Your friend takes your chin up with her finger and you realize how pensive an expression was sitting on your face. “This is Gong Yubin. You know she'll kill it.” Nakyoung flashes a confident smile, and it reassures you almost more than your own trust in Yubin herself. “You drunk yet?”

“Nah, not getting shitfaced without Yubin.”

“Cute. You know she likes you too?” 

“Go fuck yourself, Nakyoung. Go steal Seoyeon's boyfriend while you're at it.”

“I wish; she has him under lock and key. But I wouldn't really mind both of them,” she muses, eyeing Seoyeon in the middle of the dancefloor. 

Just then, the devil strolls in through the front door. “Hi! You weren't kidding, it's really loud in here,” Yubin exclaims with her hands shielding her ears as she adjusts to the noise.

She takes Nakyoung's seat–you whip your head around and find Nakyoung at the dancefloor, with Seoyeon grinding against her–and picks up Nakyoung's old mug. She takes a careful sip and ends it with a relieved ahhhh, before setting it back down and getting to business. She leans in like keeping a secret, though she can't hide her toothy grin. “Have you seen your grade yet?”

“It's out?!” You fumble for your phone, and the second it lights up, cold runs through your veins–the email notification is the first thing at the top of the screen. Meanwhile, Yubin calmly slides her phone across the table to you. She asks “I read yours, you read mine?” with the sweetest smile on her face, again with the slight crease on her eyebrows.

Calm your nerves, silence the alarms blaring in your head. You know she did well, absolutely certain. However, it still doesn't soothe you enough; not until you see the grades for yourself. So, as your thumb hovers over her email, your heart nearly beats out of your chest, only to see–

“You got 87 percent,” Yubin states in the blandest, matter-of-fact tone you've ever heard. Her eyes move left and right over the same spot on your phone, making ultimate certain that she's reading it right. Once she is, her tone softens just enough, “Yeah, 87 percent. Wow, that's good,” she sighs with relief, “... Hard to beat.”

Now her turn, you peek at her score. doing the same making sure, and then some. When you read it for the fifth time, you kick yourself mentally for being so worried and having such little trust in the genius that is Gong Yubin. “Goddamn, 95 percent.”

Her eyes widen like sinkholes as her hand flies to cover her mouth. It almost doesn't matter that you hand her back her phone; she snatches it back anyway. Her disbelief chips away at itself with every run through of the email she reads for herself, and when she's finally done, returns her shocked gaze back to you.

“You were that scared of three essays?” you joke. The beer tastes sweeter now that your worries have gone, and as if all six septillion kilograms of the world is off your shoulders. 

“No, three essays is easy,” she taunts, but immediately her voice takes on a gentler tone, “so I win, right?”

You scoff at her haughtiness, but your relief triumphs over all. “Yeah, whatever. What do you want?”

“... I wanna go home. This is enough excitement for one day.”

“Alright, let me take you. Tell me in the cab what you want for winning, though?”

“Sure,” she says with a tiny smile.

~~~

“So,” she declares. She catches her breath, and her face is overcome with a subtle red flush, “about the bet.”

“Yeah, about the bet.”

“I want…” and she hesitates. The cab runs over a mild speed bump, and the resulting sway seemingly knocks her completely out of focus. She gathers her resolve once more, as if every time she tries to speak she drops it and has to pick it up again. 

“You want…?”

It's a good couple minutes of her breathing heavily, and your concern shows itself for her and whatever she has planned for you.

“Is it illegal? What could possibly be so bad that you're hesitating this much?”

“No, no, shut up. I'm working on it.” She takes one last deep breath, even placing a hand on her heart to steady it. “I want… a cum tribute.”

“... A cum tribute.”

“Yes.”

“You want me to…?”

“I'll send you a photo. And do it on that.”

“You want a photo of–”

“Video.”

“You–video?”

“I want a video. Of you. Cumming on a photo. My photo. I'll send it to you.”

There's no way the cab driver doesn't think this is weird. Then again, he has an earphone in, so he might not be listening in at all. You get the feeling Yubin doesn't care either way, completely focused on you. 

“... Alright. You want it this bad, fine.”

“Good. Um,” she follows, “sorry in advance. It's gonna be my first time… taking a photo like this.” She refocuses her attention to the buildings whizzing by outside as she says it, the telltale sign the conversation is over. Still, it lingers in your head for a little while: Yubin's first time. 

~~~

“Look, I'm sorry,” she sighs, “just come up with me? Please?”

You're standing with her outside her dorm, all the while the meter ticks away in the cab. The driver waits expectantly inside for you to get back, but Yubin's fingers wrapped around your sleeve make for a very difficult decision. 

“Okay, okay, just let me pay the cab driver,” you concede, but as soon as you sum up the fare, Yubin snatches it from you and brings it over herself. She and the driver exchange a few words, ending with her waving him off and him leaving her in the dust. She waddles back with her signature grin: the one that tries and fails to hide her excitement. 

“Can I just ask why you want it so bad?”

She shakes her head, “Nope. Now shush,” as you both make the now-silent trek up the four flights of stairs to her floor and room. 

Upon entering, you immediately notice it's nicer than most dorm rooms: huge space, carpet floors, a big window, and two double-size beds, not to mention its own bathroom. It makes you stop and wonder if you ever glossed over any signs that Yubin or her family might come from old money.

“Uhh, give me a few minutes to get ready. The bed on the right is mine, make yourself at home. WiFi password by the light switch. Kaede doesn't like her stuff messed with, so steer clear.” Yubin then disappears into the bathroom, and you lay yourself down on her bed. You're made aware of how you sink comfortably into the memory foam, and of the disarming fragrance that wafts from her bedsheets and pillowcases. She's always smelled like this, you recall, but it's rather nice, you finally admit. 

“Hey,” Yubin attempts. She sits on the edge of her bed next to you, wearing a set of pajamas and no makeup at all. You always knew Yubin was a pretty girl, God knows how many times she's been asked out, but seeing her like this is new; her allure draws you in with a smile and an embrace. Shit, was Nakyoung right? Do you like her? 

“So… How do you want me?” She avoids your eyes and touches her fingertips together, a blush forming on her cheeks. 

“Do you… Do you have a tie?”

Her ears perk up, “Yeah, hold on,” and she retrieves a thin, striped necktie from her dresser. She places it around her neck, her fingers delicately maneuvering the fabric into an intricate-looking knot, and when she's done, she presents herself to you. 

“Take off your top, Yubin,” you tell her, and she hands you her phone with the camera already on. Point it at her, making sure the flash is off, and start taking pictures one by one. 

She pushes aside the tie and fiddles with the top button. It's effortless how she undoes it, and she pulls the collar apart to show you more of her. She unbuttons the next, then the next, all the while showing you her smooth skin. With half the buttons undone, she shows off her chest, showing nothing but skin underneath her top.

You take a moment to catch your breath, swallow your spit. “Are you sure about this, Yubin?” 

“Yeah… Just keep going, please.” She undoes her fifth button at the very bottom, revealing her midriff and making you salivate. Must be heaven to kiss her there, when she snaps you out of it, “Are you still taking pictures?” Am I that distracting?” Look up to her, find her with the same sweet smile on her face but with a new blush decorating her cheeks.

Her last button is her fourth, and it's undone before you know it. She keeps her pajama top on a little bit longer, covering her chest a little bit more, and finally she shrugs it off one shoulder. It's nothing but everything all at once, and the split second your self-control wavers is the exact moment you leap in.

You drop her phone somewhere on the mattress; both your hands grip her shoulders as your lips capture hers. She leans into the kiss, wrapping her fingers on the back of your neck, and tiny moans escape her amidst smooches that get louder the hungrier she gets. 

Pull the top off her other shoulder, and she finally strips it all off. However, you can't even enjoy the sight, not yet, as you draft down from her lips to her slender neck, leaving a trail of kisses on your way. She runs her fingers through your hair before holding you in place, all the while leading your free hand to her chest. 

She sucks air in through her teeth, “That's really good, just like that…” she moans as her head tilts to allow more access to her neck. The scent of her shampoo fills your nostrils and you feel yourself getting addicted, but not as much as to the softness of her skin. 

She pulls you down onto the bed, and you find yourself leaning over her. Yubin lies under you, watching you intently and waiting for what you'll do next. Her tie sits right in the valley of her tits, and it drives you wild. Take a nipple in between your teeth while you fondle her other breast. She breathes heavy in pleasure, wordlessly asking for more and more of your attention and love. Her fist closes on your hair as she pushes you further onto her chest, her other hand hopelessly tugging on your pants.

It's all the message you need from her: your pants go, then your underwear, then everything else. Your cock stands hard in her sights, and the way her fingers wrap around your length is nothing short of heaven. 

“Do… do you wanna do it with me?” Her question is purely innocent, without a single hint of malice in her voice. She rubs your shaft slowly, sending waves of tantalizing pleasure throughout your whole body.

“Do you have condoms?”

“... Kaede will forgive me.” She crawls down the ladder, picks out a square plastic wrapper from her roommate's dresser, and hurries to get back to you. The smile on her face as she comes up the ladder again is one of, if not the most beautiful things you've ever seen. 

You guide her as she puts the condom on you, and the sensation of her fingers gently unrolling the rubber along your length only makes you more impatient. Finally, you hook your fingers on the garter of her pajama bottoms, and she lifts her hips to accommodate you. The fabric slides off her so easily, revealing her long, smooth legs that she seems desperate to have you in between of. 

“Go easy, okay? I told you…” 

“Yeah, your first time. I'll take care of you,” you reassure her. Line up your throbbing cock against her slick heat, feel her palm on your cheek, watch her flash that killer smile again. She bites her lip, and while you know it isn't on purpose, it makes her look sexier all the same. 

Slide your cock into her, making sure to go slow. She shuts her eyes harder with every inch she takes of you, and when she moves her hands to your forearms and grips tight, it reminds you like a looping cycle: “Go easy, go easy.”

So you go slow and steady, staving off your lust for the woman giving herself to you. Each thrust into her sex is careful and calculated, though by the second you feel your calculations going awry. She pants at every good spot in her cavern you happen to drag across, earning her little admissions of newly found pleasure in the form of mewls and moans like a song you’d never tire of. 

“Faster, please…? You’re so–ugh, fuck…” And the way she pleads flips a switch in you; plant your elbows into the memory foam on either side of her head while she takes your face in her hands. Yubin pulls you in for a kiss and it means the world to her when you grow careless with your lovemaking.

“Fuck, fuck, not too fast, just right, mmm,” each time you push into her cunt. The way she mumbles sweet nothings into your ear, the way she holds on for dear life and leaves scratches all the way down your back, she takes up every single thought going through your head: Yubin, Yubin, Yubin…

You scarcely notice how she's scratching your harder, gripping you tighter, grinding against you faster–it’s much too late to finally hear her warning, “I'm close, I'm close, oh fuck, fuck, aaahhhh!” as she explodes with you still inside her. Her pussy clenches around your cock in all the best ways, and you savor the feeling as she rides out her orgasm. Her knuckles turn white as she grips you by the shoulders, though all you can see is how her tits bounce with every jerk that runs through her body. Yubin's eyes roll to the back of her head and her mouth hangs open, a prolonged, deep moan gracing your ears as she ambles closer and closer to spent. 

Take a moment, let her breathe. Every gasp of air in her lungs is like a blessing, and each one steadily brings her from beyond heaven back to you. Her hands fall to her sides as she pants out her delirium and replaces it with tiredness, and once she's stable she flashes you that killer smile again. It pulls on the corners of her mouth, showing the tiniest amount of teeth, though her eyes are nowhere near open. Plant a kiss on her cheek, then her neck, then receive her giggles once you stay and rest right on her pulse. 

“You good? Still alive?”

All she can do is nod, having had every last ounce of her strength sapped. She lays motionless under you, save for her chest rising and falling with her breathing, and you know she looks to you for comfort and security. You take another moment to bask in her afterglow; she's never looked more gorgeous. 

“Hey,” she whispers, and you swear it's the most tired you've ever heard her, or anyone for that matter. “You good?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. Are you sure you're good?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” She pulls you back down and plants a kiss on your cheek. Her lips linger for a second, as if she's taking in your scent made hers. You stay like this for a good while, just enjoying each other's presence, relishing in the warmth of a body that gave itself up for the other. You don't even notice when you slumped over onto the mattress beside her, but her head on your chest felt like the rightest thing in the world.

“We're not done, by the way,” she prods.

“What? Why not? Aren't you tired?”

“‘Tired’ isn't part of the bet. I still want that tribute.”

And you remember, you have a job to do, a debt to pay. It’s between your common sense and your lust for the hottest girl in the world right now, and there is a clear winner. 

Pull back from her, off of the bed, and plant your feet on the floor. Firm and resolute, tell her: “Fine, on your knees.” The flush on her face deepens to an igneous red, and she scrambles to the floor in front of you.

“You're so pretty, Yubin,” you muse as you point her camera back to her face. Make sure the flash is off, and once you push the big red button to record, your other hand immediately takes her cheek and guides her to your tip. 

Yubin's eyes flutter shut as she inches her lips closer and closer to your cock. The first contact is heavenly; just gentle kisses and licks from a complete novice pretending to be an expert at this sort of stuff. The way her tongue glides over your shaft, the way she plants kisses all over your cock with the tiniest sucks, the way she does all of this with her eyes gracefully shut makes for a killer video for her to get off to later. A blowjob from a girl like this comes once in a lifetime, so you resolve to give her everything she'd ever want from a tribute like this. 

A moan escapes you, and she picks up that she's doing it right. With your subconscious approval, the hand on her cheek pulling further her in, she takes your tip in her mouth. Her tongue works overtime in running all over the head, paying special attention to your slit, making absolutely sure her spit coats wherever she can reach. She takes in more and more of your shaft, pressing her tongue on the underside of your cock as she does, all the while her cheeks hollow out like her life depends on it. 

Tiny vibrations from her throat only add to the pleasure, sending shivers up your spine and your hand to the back of her head. For the first time, she opens her eyes, and the sight is something to behold: she looks up at you with the biggest, roundest, most pleading eyes, the epitome of cuteness if not for your cock she oh-so-diligently services to get what she wants. 

Yubin takes you in just a bit deeper, slightly turning her head and savoring the way your length fills her mouth, when you hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag. She pulls back abruptly as a tear forms in the corner of her eye, and you have half a mind to pull out entirely to make sure she's okay. Instead, she never lets you–she takes your cock again, shooting you another pleading look before she shuts her eyes and bobs her head onto your cock again and again. 

Luckily, you pick up on her message; Snake your fingers through her hair, grab a fistful, make her yours. A moan rises from her throat once again, and she steadies herself with her hands on your thighs in preparation. She's ready. 

Pull her in as far as she can take, and it's a good most of your shaft before she gags again. Offer her no breathing room, bob her head onto your cock over and over, all the while more of her slobber coats your length, some of it falling off her lips and onto her chest and lap. She never fights, only takes–soon the gagging is replaced by an obedient, rhythmic gluck-gluck-gluck than you're sure even she'd find hot if she could think straight. Instead, her phone picks up every sight and sound for her to enjoy later, while you both enjoy each other now. 

It's everything all at once: the sight of Gong Yubin's plump, sexy lips around your shaft, the feeling of her tongue relentlessly dragging over every inch of your cock, the sound of your tip meeting her throat again and again while her groans fight their way out. “Yubin… I'm close,” you confess, but with her eyes still shut and her tongue still going crazy all over you, you don't think she heard. So make the decision yourself: yank her hard off your cock, rub your shaft right against her delicious lips. Once she exits her daze, she takes your dick in her hand and rubs all across the length. Tears fall from the corner of her eyes and her lips give off the slightest tremble, but she's resolute in what she wants to earn from you. 

It takes no time at all until you reach your limit. It's the best handjob anyone has ever probably given, but it's that one last kiss from her, right on your tip, that sends you over the edge. One last groan, one last jerk, one last tug of her hair, and your orgasm hits. Your cum shoots out in ropes, all landing on her face and tits. She's determined to receive everything from you, so it's only right to give her exactly what she wants. She shuts her eyes again, but her mouth stays wide open to catch whatever she can of it–she never stops jerking you off even as your cum falls onto her eyelids, her nose bridge, her forehead, her chin. Yubin savors every moment and every drop, burning the memory of bliss into her mind as you coat her face with your love. 

Your orgasm finally dies down, and you realize just how much she squeezed out of you. You're sure no one has ever looked lewder, your cum smeared all over her face, yet she proves you wrong when she picks up a fingerful of it to take into her mouth. She licks her lips, apparently loving the taste, while you love the sight of her acting so sultry for you. 

Stumble back onto the bed, take Yubin with you. Both of you are out of strength, breathing heavy, and in the middle of processing that you just painted her face with cum–that she asked you to paint her face with cum. You barely notice the stars swirling in your eyes, but your sense of the situation comes back just quick enough to avoid things getting awkward. 

“I think I wanna shower, so you should wash up first,” you mumble, still staring at her beige ceiling, and you can feel she's panting and doing the same without even seeing her. 

Wordlessly she gets up and her carpet-muffled footsteps grow quieter as she heads to the bathroom. A door shuts, a handle creaks, a shower gushes to life. Your brain sits idle, making no attempts to form thoughts other than acknowledging the shower turning off and on while she bathes. It's calming in its own way, you suppose–taking a bath is one of the normalest things in the world–as if what you just did with her was a close runner-up. 

An unknowable amount of time passes, and a fresh, citrus-scented Yubin emerges from the bathroom again. She dries her hair with her towel as she makes her way to her hair blower, but not before shooting you a gorgeous smile and a head tilt to the bathroom to let you know it's your turn. 

~~~

Leaving the bathroom yourself, you find a dark bedroom, save only for a yellow lamp shining against a nearby wall. Yubin is sitting up in her bed and scrolling on her phone, and once she spots you, she beckons you over.

“Look, funny,” she whispers with a giggle, and she shows you a clip of a guy much too excited about a truck looking like Optimus Prime. 

“Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm pretty tired,” you attempt. In no way is this a lie, and you're sure she's tired too. You bet she wants nothing more than to finally go to sleep and end what should be a perfect night on a high note. 

“Totally,” she agrees, “come on in. It's cold.” She lifts up the covers and looks over to you expectantly. Not that it dumbfounds you, but it throws you for a slight loop; she literally just said it was cold. 

“Wh– I'm heading out, is what I mean. You should get your rest, too.”

Yubin's eyes take on a softer expression, “Oh, you're not staying over?”

“... Did you want me to?”

“Yeah…?”

Your eyes lock with hers for what seems like half a second and a million hours at the same time. You're stuck in place, still in a stalemate of a staring contest with her, and you're not sure even she knows what the two of you want out of the situation. Her expression turns into one of concern, and her arm holding up the covers falters just a bit. Fuck, you think, window's closing.

Make your choice, have no regrets. Get in the covers with her, and she lets them drop to snuggle up to you. Once the both of you settle, her head on your chest and yours on one of the fluffiest pillows in the world, she blurts out quietly: “You fucked up, you know.”

She navigates to her gallery and finds your video of her, and skips to a part near the end. “Your dumb ass stopped recording just as you were about to cum.” And the video did show that: Yubin rubbing your cock, eyes shut, tongue out and ready for your load, and the video stops. 

“Shit, sorry–” 

“This wasn't the bet. I wanted a cum tribute, not a facial. You need to send me a proper one,” she muses, “or take a proper video.”

Now that stuns you. You wonder how interesting her ceiling is for you to stare at it so much, but she snaps you out of it partway through by snaking a hand up your shirt and settling it right above your heart. Reciprocate–it only feels right–wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her even closer. An exhale from both of you, and one last exchange of words: 

“Okay. Tomorrow?”

“Can you go again that soon?”

“If it's you, of course.”

“Don't guys need to recharge?”

“... I'll handle it.”

~~~

[asunflowerana]

will you go to prom with me?

summary: prom is near, and your sweet, popular friend will do anything to have you as his date.

with: Gojo Satoru.

warnings: yandere behavior, blackmailing (not from satoru), slight blood mentions.

words: 1448.

a/n: i'm just gonna sit back and pretend this didn't give me chills. thinking of turning this into a series, but i'll hold myself from now haha

"Go to prom with me." It's not what you'd expect to hear on a Tuesday morning, right after a wearing History class. Even more so coming from the mouth of no other than Gojo Satoru, the coolest, most desired boy in school.

Yes, you've been friends with him for almost a year. And yes, you get on very well together, crack some side-jokes at classes, sometimes go out to grab some food, do homework at the library, and even stay up at night until sunrise on the phone, freaking out while studying for a math exam that none of you knew about it — or not paying attention, to be more honest. 

So yeah, you're friends. But it's Gojo Satoru we're talking about. And Gojo Satoru is just way out of anyone's league.

You're simply dumbfounded.

"I—" You swallow hard, feeling like you just lost your memory and no longer know how to complete sentences. You're feeling a lot of things, honestly, the guy you've had so many daydreams with saying he wants to have you as his partner, and there you are, a pile of nerves trying to hide the hard, loud way your heart beats inside.

And it's not that you don't want to accept it. Heck, you want to say yes so badly, how many times did you catch yourself watching those sappy rom coms and wondering if you and the white-haired boy would make a fine couple like that. He's the whole package, and if those gorgeous blue eyes and jaw-dropping looks weren't enough, he's also so kind to you, that you can't help but develop a crush.

But as expected, he didn't catch only your attention, but the whole school as well. Kaya Nami, one of the troublemaker cheerleaders, is in the line and does everything she can to make sure nothing gets in her way.

"If I were you, I'd stay away from Satoru Gojo. You won't like having me as an enemy, believe me." She threatened you last Friday, right during PE class. Confused wasn't enough to describe how you felt, but you didn't say anything back to not cause drama, only nodding and watching her head off like nothing happened.

"...I'm sorry, Satoru, but I can't." And unfortunately, that warning was enough to hinder you from making the choice you wanted.

It goes without saying how astounded Gojo was by your answer, that probably being his first time ever being rejected. "What do you mean 'you can't'?" And then his tone dropped an octave, changing to something more seething. "Did someone ask you? You said yesterday to me that you didn't get invited."

"And you're right, I didn't get it." You try to reason, not liking the way he's bothered by your rejection. " it's just... I didn't think you wanted to go with me!" And you didn't lie, even though you said it more as an excuse.

"Well, now you know." He gets closer, almost making you hit your back at the locker behind you. His eyes say he didn't buy any of your excuses. "So, why can't you go? I mean, I know how overwhelming my beauty can be, but you're just as pretty, sweetheart."

His mood suddenly changes to the usual Gojo Satoru, the cheeky guy who enjoys flustering you for fun. Grazing your chin between his index and thumb, he looks deep at you. "I'll give you the best time you ever had. Just be my date."

It takes everything on you to not jump in his arms and let yourself get swept off your feet. Why does he have to make this so difficult? Taking a deep breath, you remember the headache you're gonna get if you don't make the right choice. "Satoru, I'd love to be your date, really. It's just, I think there's someone else that would make a better date than me."

He stares at you with an unreadable expression. You don't know if he got angrier or had enough of your pitiful answers, but you wish you could be able to read only a fraction of Satoru's mind, cause he's staring for too long at you, and you don't know what else to say other than stare back at him.

Finally, he steps back, diverting his gaze to a random spot for a moment before moving to look at you again. Sliding his hands inside his pants pockets, he seems to accept the situation, but you're still not sure of what you see. "I guess you're not changing your mind, huh? Then tell me, who's this 'perfect match'  that you think would be better for me?" He questions with a hint of disdain, but he tries to hide it with a small side smile.

The girl appears in the scene before you can mention her name as if she was waiting for the right opportunity to pounce and make her move on him. By the way your shoulders slump and your eyes lower to the ground, he quickly assumes that she's the person you were talking about earlier and that for some reason, she's making you very uncomfortable. Not you nor Nami noticed the way Gojo glares at a blank spot. Thinking, he mindlessly accepts the blond girl's invitation to lunch, giving you a brief hug before going away. "If that's what you want." He whispers unexpectedly in your ear, offering you a final smile before letting himself be guided to the cafeteria.

You spend the rest of the day wanting to beat yourself for wasting the chance you had to go out with Satoru. You don't talk to him as much during the week, since Nami was making sure to grab every second of his free time at break. It didn't take too long to figure out that both of them would go to prom together, and even though you were the one who made that happen, it still stings to imagine them having a good time.

Prom day arrives, and in the end, no one invites you. It wasn't something completely unexpected, but to be honest, you were hoping that at least one of your friends would be kind enough to want you as a company just so you could all enjoy the "night to remember". Honestly, you didn't want to miss such an important event, and even though there was a chance that you'd make a fool of yourself, it's still your prom, and you have the right to make the most of it, with or without someone.

Kicking away the self-pity, you dressed up and got ready for the special night, wearing that beautiful gown that you remember once showing on Pinterest to Satoru, months before the event. Checking your purse one more time, you catch your phone to ask for a cab, when you hear three familiar knocks on your front door.

Opening your house, you come face to face with someone you never would've imagined seeing at that moment. There stood Gojo Satoru, with a black tuxedo that perfectly accentuates his body, a bouquet of pink camellias in his left hand, glasses off, and a beautiful lopsided smile.

"...Wow." The combo of his honest compliment, his lingering, fond gaze in your direction, and the fact that you made him momentarily speechless, makes your whole self overwhelmed with endearing sensations, especially your warm cheeks.

But that passes too quickly since you don't understand the sudden visit.

"S-Satoru? What are you doing here?" You didn't want this to be the first thing to say to him, but you're so confused, that you don't know what else to say. "I thought you were going out with Nami. Where is she?"

Awakening from the brief trance you provoked in him, the white-haired boy only increases his smile in a rather strange way. " Didn't you know? Mina got in an accident yesterday, she fell from the stairs and ended up breaking her leg."

One more time, you were taken by surprise. As for your friend, he doesn't sound as worried as you imagined he would be after giving this message, but he still makes a respectful pause after saying it.

Satoru also notices your reaction, observing the way you empathetic self got sad for that girl's situation. Little did you know that she got exactly what deserved. And if you looked more closely at your gift, instead of worrying yourself, you'd notice the blood stains around the wrapping paper, the remains of what your future partner did to prove his love.

To his luck, you're just too pure to realize what you don't need to. And for that, Satoru smiles, gazing at you with sparks again.

"So now, will you go to prom with me?"

Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated 🦋

© asunflowerana 2024

[pathologicalreid]

you can wait if you dont want to do another smut right now but id love a fic where spencer has been helping reader study for her finals and after last exam is over she thanks spencer for all his help if you know what i mean 😉 (this has been stuck in my head all day)

ofc he is like no!!! you dont have to thank me but obviously reader just wants to finally celebrate being done with finals with her mans

i liveeee for your fics! im so happy youre doing requests again!

earned it | S.R.

when you finish your college course work, you only have one person to thank - your tutor

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: oral sex (m receiving), borderline ass play, fingering, established relationship, mild manhandling, i think that's it. word count: 1.46k a/n: so this request is definitely from when i reopened my requests last but i wanted to let y'all know that I'm probably gonna close them again soon so like get ur requests in ahahaha thank you for requesting please don't worry if this is incoherent

“How do you feel?” Spencer asked over the phone.

Smiling into the receiver, you made your way up the steps to the second floor of his apartment building as you answered, “I feel liberated,” You answered, balancing your phone between your ear and shoulder so you could knock on his front door.

He cleared his throat over the phone, “Hold on, someone’s at the door,” he told you, moving to open the door. “Hey,” he said, obviously surprised to find you at the door, “I thought you needed to pick your parents up at the airport?”

You shrugged, ending your phone call and stepping inside his apartment, “Their flight was delayed, so I’m now free as a bird for the rest of the day.”

“Most people want to relax after finishing their final exams,” Spencer suggested, setting his phone down before reaching out to you, pulling you closer to him by your waist, “How do you think it went?”

Beaming up at him, you slung your arms around his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “I think I aced it, and it’s all thanks to my tutor.” Slowly, you ushered him in the direction of the couch, hoping to coax him to the supple leather.

Following your lead, your boyfriend hummed thoughtfully, “Well, as your tutor, I’m glad to hear that.”

With a careful touch, you settled your hands on his shoulders and pushed him down, “And now that I’m done, I figured it was time to return the favor.” You offered, settling yourself down on the couch next to him and smoothing out the skirt of your sundress.

“I’m not in classes anymore,” he reminded you confusedly, tilting his head to the side so that he was closer to you. That much you remembered, he finished his philosophy degree rather unceremoniously last year, not even willing to humor you by putting on a cap and gown.

You nodded, adjusting yourself so that you could lean over until he pulled you into his lap, one knee on either side of his hips. “Yes, but I needed to figure out some way to express my gratitude,” you said, cocking your head to the side as you gave him a knowing look.

Spencer raised his eyebrows at you, “I helped you study because I love you, not because I expected anything in return.” This, of course, you knew, Spencer was too much of a gentleman to outright accept your offer of sexual favors in exchange for your study sessions.

“No, I know, but I don’t believe in unpaid labor,” you informed him, intertwining your fingers at the back of his neck, catching some of the hair at the nape of his neck, forcing him to lean his head back. Taking the opportunity that had presented itself, you attached your lips to the side of his neck, placing gentle kisses as you felt his grip on your hips tighten. “I just finished school and maybe I want to celebrate a little,” you murmured against his skin, reaching your hand up and fiddling with the knot of his tie.

Another thing that you knew was that Spencer was too much of a man to turn down head, so you weren’t surprised when the next thing he said was, “Then let’s celebrate.”

Moving away from him slightly, you giggled, “You’re so easy to convince.”

He rolled his eyes in response, “And you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, dragging your lips down to his as you grinned, letting him touch you everywhere he wanted as you moved to palm his half-hard cock through his slacks.

Getting him hard was easy, you had been so stressed during finals that the two of you hadn’t done much more than make out, but now that all you had to do was cross the stage, you each had a lot of pent-up hormones that needed to be released. You tried to undo his belt without pulling away from him, but you eventually needed to see what you were doing, leading you to pull away before undoing the belt buckle.

Desperate for more contact, Spencer ducked his head and kissed your shoulder, leaving open-mouthed kisses around the thin strap of your dress as you continued undoing the button and zipper of his slacks with ease. You let out a soft moan in response to him moving to your neck, watching the way his cock twitched beneath his boxers.

You gently slipped your fingers under the elastic band, taking his entire length in your hand, just holding him caused his head to fall back and lift his hips from the couch to move his pants and underwear down, giving you more access. You crouched down on the couch, ducking your head so that you could press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock, continuing your motions by pressing similar little kisses down the shaft until you hit the base.

Skimming your fingertips down his member, you smiled at the way his hips bucked off of the couch before wrapping your lips around him, taking him as far as you could without gagging and staying like that while Spencer gathered your hair at the nape of your neck and secured it with his fingers. You bobbed your head slightly, resting one hand on his hip and moving the other to hold his free hand before you lifted your head to swirl your tongue around his bulbous tip.

“You’re so good at this,” he murmured, his hand holding your hair gripping tighter as you bobbed your head again, “fuck, baby.”

Even as he let go of your hand, you continued bobbing your head even as you felt Spencer’s hand fiddling with the skirt of your dress, letting out a gentle moan when you realized what he was doing.

Spencer pulled your panties down your thighs by the gusset, giving him perfect access to your pussy as you kept your lips around his cock, “My pretty girl,” he praised while gently pressing his index finger at your entrance, circling the wet hole before pushing it in. Because of the angle you were at, he couldn’t get his fingers very deep, but it did enable him to press his thumb against your clit.

You moaned around his cock, the vibrations causing him to hiss and leading you to reach your newly freed hand to gently cup his balls, squeezing them as you bent your finger and pressed the knuckle to his taint, massaging the sensitive area that always made him finish.

He slipped another finger into your cunt easily as he released a shuddering breath, “I’m close,” he let you know, grip on your hair tightening as he did.

Humming, you just continued your ministrations until he let you know that he was going to come, the white, hot liquid spurting directly into your mouth while you continued to work him through his orgasm, your movements slowly coming to a halt so you didn’t overstimulate him.

Swallowing his cum, you released him from your mouth as he pulled his hand from your wet hole. Careful not to get anything on your dress, he maneuvered you so that you were facing him, his hooded eyes had a hint of determination as he pushed two digits into your pussy, you whimpered at the depth he got at this new angle.

You rocked your hips so that you were riding his hand, placing your hands on his shoulders for support while he used his thumb to stimulate your clit. “Spence,” you whined, breath hitching as he curled his fingers inside of you.

“What is it, baby?” He asked without pausing his movements.

Opening your mouth to respond, only a high-pitched noise came out in place of words, causing your head to fall forward onto his shoulder. “Come,” you mumbled.

Continuing to curl his fingers inside of you, he gently kissed your temple, “Come on my fingers, baby. You earned it. You can let go,” he encouraged.

You gasped as you did just that, feeling your walls clench around his fingers as he continued moving them, “Fuck, yes, thank you,” you babbled into the crook of his neck, lifting your head and looking him in the eyes.

His cheeks were flushed pink as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, instinctively, you pulled back.

“I have cum dribbling down my chin,” you explained to him when he frowned at the rejection.

Shaking his head, he leaned back in, “I really don’t care,” he said, kissing you chastely – as if to prove a point – and placing his hands on either side of your waist before settling you on his lap. “When does your parents’ rescheduled flight get in?”

You hummed contentedly, “Not until tonight.”

“Perfect,” he responded.

[tellafairy]

Hi, can you please explain in detail how you changed your marks + got into your dream uni and how you always stay lean? This would change my life.

i have already answered this but i will re answer it more in depth !

when i was 16, i really wanted to attend a university quite far away. it was a dream i had for a while, but i was scared things wouldn't work out — especially when my counsiler told me over and over again that my grades "weren't good enough" and i "didn't meet the requirements". i was also scared about finances and the uni being to far away.

with this, when my senior year came and i turned 17 — i had saw a sucess story on tiktok of a girl who manifested her dream university experience simply through LOA. this prompted me to do the same, and i began to completely ignored everything my counsiler said. i told myself over and over again that i am attending the university, no ifs ands or buts. i repeated simple things like "i literally got into the university, is he crazy?" "my dorm room at university is so cute i love it" over and over again inside of my head whenever the topic of university was brought up or came to mind. whenever someone asked me where i'm going for uni, i told them this university. spoke about the uni as their student would. and when filling out my application, i was laughing to myself. "why am i even doing this? i'm already a student at __.. i guess it'll be fun to show other students what an application should look like if they wanna get into __ like me!"

id also saturate! sometimes i'd spend 1-2 hours just sitting there thinking of life at that university in my head as if i was already there. id go into detail about the financial aid id get, how my dorm would look, meal plans, etc etc — everything i wanted my uni life to be like. (this part is quite important to me, i made sure to incorporate the fact i wouldn't struggle with paying for uni or finding housing). id ignore any thoughts or worries whenever they came to mind, i always made it my priority to remind myself that i already attend the university — nothing else matters.

as for changing my marks; in my home country, your highschool submits all of your grades to the universities for you. and after graduation, they send you one final copy of your transcript. so when i was applying to university, i only saw my transcript once before graduation through my guidence counsiler, and it didn't even have all of my final grades because i was still taking classes, it only had my midterm marks (which are basically ur final marks before the final exams which would usually bring ur mark up by 5-10%)

anyways, after seeing it and realizing how bad my midterms were, i just affirmed that the transcript was wrong and that my final marks would be 10x better. i told myself that i'd ace my fianl exams so well that it would bring my marks up by more than 10%. despite this — after graduation, i received a transcript with my exact same mid term marks.

but, i didn't let this discourage me. i simply disregarded the email and deleted it, i didn't even save the transcript because i knew it wasn't right. i kept affirming and affirming and saturating and telling myself that they accidentally sent the wrong transcript. and i think you know what i'm gonna say next; that's exactly what they did. my principal had emailed me alongside my counsiler, both emails had a copy of my real transcript where my grades met the standard i had created in my mind — and they also apologized for giving me the wrong transcript, informing me that the universities i applied to all received the correct one.

i had already gotten my acceptance letter into the university before i had received my final transcript, so i think that's what made it easier for me to accept and know that the first transcript they sent me was wrong.

i'm not sure what anon means by staying lean.. so i'm sorry i can't answer that part 😅 but i hope the rest makes sense!

[arlerts-angel]

heyyy, i have a request 4 u!! 🤭

could u write sum armin nsfw with afab!reader with one kink that you like the most? praising, degrading, whatever u prefer!!🥴🥴

a/n: mkay mkay i can do that 😈 i've been brainrotting on dry humping with min so my kink of choice is endytophilia!! happy slutsgiving 😚 (endearing)

cw: armin arlert x fem reader, college au, dry humping, a little bit of plot but mostly smut, sub armin if you squint

taglist: @callm3senpaii @ringsofsaturnnnn @dilfkentolover @sleazymac-n-cheesy @darkstarlight82 @arlertwitch

"thanks for helping me study 'min, but i think i'm just gonna accept the F on this exam. i've done so much studying that my eyes are starting to cross and i still feel like i've learned nothing..." you let out an exasperated sigh and bounce your leg. the scent of armin's cologne and being so close to him has been a huge distraction.

"don't worry. we'll take a break and do something else to occupy your mind. you've been doing great." he smiles sweetly. there's really only one thing you want to do right now to de-stress. not only from the studying, but the tension between the two of you. you don't even know how to bring it up. armin isn't the type to just sleep around, and he's your best friend... but maybe he'll understand.

"um, can i ask you something? you can say no if you're uncomfortable." you ask softly. he nods. "of course you can." he sits on the small single bed in your dorm room. "actually, nevermind. can i show you instead...?"

he looks puzzled but agrees. "stop me at any point, okay?" he furrows his brows in confusion. "a-alright... what is it?" he asks. you sit on the bed next to him and put your hand on his thigh. before he has time to think, you kiss him softly with growing intensity. to your surprise, he kisses back. a few seconds later, when you pull away, he lets out of a soft whimper.

"what was that for?" he asks, cheeks flushed slightly pink. "i'll explain later. do you want to keep going?" he nods shyly. "...how much further?" you ask. "w-well, i don't have any... condoms." "we don't need them." "what?! of course we do!" he objects. you can't help but giggle. "armin, we don't even have to undress." he cocks his head to the side.

"let me show you." you whisper before kissing his soft lips again. his hands quickly find their way to your waist. you position yourself on top of him and swirl your hips, rutting your clothed and desperate cunt against his thigh. he catches on, quickly thrusting his bulge against your thigh. your soft moans and grunts are almost enough to make him cum right there. "s-shit!" he wails, grabbing your waist tightly to keep his composure. you shift slightly to grind your pussy right on the tent of his pants.

"oh god— oh fuck— please don't stop." he pleads, thrusting his cock in sync with the grinding of your pussy. "shit–! 'm getting close 'min" you moan. "y-yeah me too—" he holds you down, tight and hard against his bulge "right there, just like that— ohhhh fuck i'm cumming!" he cries out. "fuck 'miiiin—! 'm cumming too—!" you mewl as you reach your orgasms simultaneously; feeling his cock twitch as the sticky strands of cum shoots into his boxers.

"thanks, i really needed that." you admit sheepishly. "apparently i did too." he smiles reassuringly and kisses your forehead.

dividers by benkeibear

[starreo]

thank god for you,

isagi.

cw: fear of failing, throwing up, anxiety

if it wasn't for you, i'd still be crying on my bed, wrinkling the sheets of my physics test paper. if it wasn't for you, i'd still be hurling at the sight of anything less than an A. if it wasn't for you, i'd still be sad, upset and frustrated. which is why, i thank god for you.

when the teacher calls out my name, telling me i've got a 70 in her subject, and i can smile genuinely while accepting the paper, i think of you.

i still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

it was six-thirty in the morning, i was scrambling through the papers, struggling to find the page with all the code words...if i couldn't find them...it'd be all over. there would be nothing left...i would fuck up the most important test of my life.

my overworked brain was starting to forget everything. all the important questions, the notes i'd made, the keywords...it was all gone!

i only realized how badly i was crying when suddenly i was struggling to breathe with teardrops falling down to the floor. my hands, still too busy opening the books, flipping the pages to at least find the sheet with the codewords. i can't mess this up, i'd promised my parents i'd do well...what about the teachers? what will they think of me...the other kids...they'd totally make fun of me...

no no no, this is all wrong! i've worked so hard...i've been so good...how could i mess up this bad...

i sat down in my seat, looking across the examination hall, everybody looked prepared...everybody except me...i was gonna fail...i was gonna be a failure...i was gonna disappoint everyone. and there it was again. the fear forming in my mind, made my stomach twist. feeling the sudden flush of saliva in my mouth, i jumped up from my seat, and ran out of the hall. desperately trying to look for a washroom, i ran in immediately when i saw the toilet sign. paying no mind to the blue walls, i rushed into an open stall, on my knees as i threw up. my hair, thankfully tied into a ponytail as my hands gripped the edge of my hoodie.

disgusting disgusting disgusting.

having emptied out everything, i finally pushed myself back. taking a second to breathe. "u-uh...are you alright...?" a boyish voice said...your voice. shocked when i realised i was in the boys' washroom, i immediately wiped my face and flushed the toilet, turning around to see you. you, standing there with a worried look on your face, a napkin already held out towards me, as you tried to say something.

i looked like such a mess. i smelled worse. and yet, you were so kind. giving me a gentle smile as you raised the napkin to my lips, cleaning the side of my mouth. "are you nervous about the exam too?" you whispered carefully, your genuinely soft eyes questioning mine.

i didn't say anything. i was too ashamed to. i didn't wanna admit it. but you still went on.

"it's okay if you are...we all have our good days and bad days. there have been times when i've been the king of the court and there have been times i wasn't able to even reach the ball on time. you don't always have to be perfect, y/n. you have to be human." you said, giving me a smile. a smile i would remember for the rest of my life. just like the words you said to me.

when the teacher calls out my name, telling me i've got a 70 in her subject, and i can smile genuinely while accepting the paper, i think of you. and i think of how i'm not perfect, because i am a human.

© starreo 2024. do not copy, translate or repost .

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[darkacademicvibes]

We Think Similar Thoughts

Part three

Lonely!Fem!Reader x Lonely!Remus

"The fuck did you just ask her?"

You glance nervously at James, and James shakes his head, unsure how to help as Remus steps in front of you. Sirius continues to speak, "I swear to merlin, if you ever think about asking her out again before you pull your head out of your arse and stop using girls for your own personal amusement-" Remus places a hand on Sirius' shoulder and gently pulls him away, clearly angry. "Dont touch her, don't talk to her, or we'll find you, and we will make your life miserable" Remus threatens quietly. Peter wraps an arm around your shoulders and turns away, the other three boys following after you two.

Remus wraps his arm around your waist, tugging you subtly out from under Peters arm as James laughs, pulling Sirius into a headlock as they walk, which Sirius wrestles out of easily.

"Merlin Pads, I don't think I've ever seen you so defensive since I told you I might fancy Reg" James teases, and Sirius rolls his eyes, cringing, "that's my baby brother, Prongs, I'm still not over it" he quips.

"Thank you, Sirius, I know we aren't that close-" you begin, and Sirius waves off your words easily. "Don't be ridiculous, you were there for Remus. You also told me to get my head out of my arse, and managed to make me listen" Sirius jokes. "You're family now" he tells you, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. James, Peter, and Remus share a look, surprised by his sudden acceptance. "Besides, you remind me of Pete's little sister" he hums, and everything clicks into place.

You smile softly, "little sister?" You ask, and Peter pulls a picture out of his notebook, handing it over. It's a picture of him, clearly from this summer, with a young girl. She also has y/h/c hair and y/e/c eyes, but she still looks so unlike you. "She likes the rain as well, and we can never get her to put down her books, and she hates puzzles but never gives up once she's started" Peter informs you, clearly spotting the slight confusion on your face as you all walk.

You begin to understand, "I see, she's very cute, how old is she?" He grins, taking the photo back. "She's five tomorrow, I'm going to see her and my family at Hogsmeade" he tells you.

You talk of his family for a while more before the both of you are dragged into seperate conversations, Peter with James and Sirius, and you with Remus, mostly about your plans for the Christmas holidays coming up. You don't have any.

☕︎︎

You'd left Remus alone for two hours, an hour and forty minutes at most, and he managed to land himself, Lucius Malfoy, and Corey in the infirmary. You walk in, clearly fustrated, and make your way over to Remus.

"For merlins sake, Remus, I ask you to keep yourself out of trouble while I study for our N.E.W.Ts, and you end up in the hospital wing! What part of 'out of trouble' did you have difficulty understanding, exactly?" You scold, and Remus flashes you a guilty smile. "He was talking about you, they both were, I wasn't gonna let anyone talk about my friend like that" he admits softly, his uninjured arm reaching up to scratch under his eye lightly.

You sigh heavily, "This is the second time today we've been to the hospital wing" you state, still slightly annoyed. "Both times because of me, and I won't stand for it, I can take perfectly good care of myself, and I couldn't give less of a care about what mindless fools say about me" you tell Remus, crossing your arms as you sit beside him.

"Next time you end up here because you got into a fight before exams, I will continue studying, I hope you know that" you hum, and Remus laughs, tossing his uninjured arm around your shoulders. "I do, thanks for checking up on me, even if it was only to tell me off" he jokes. "But y'know what prongs says, 'only the great die young', right?" he teases quietly, and you roll your eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah, did you win at least?" you joke, and he nods proudly. Dork.

You help him up gently and he follows you to the library after you both thank Pomfret, who sends a distracted smile to Remus as you leave, muttering out a hurried "no more fights, Remus" warningly under her breath.

☕︎︎

Mock exams, of course it has to be the day where you're busy with practice exams that Lilly Evans bumps into you, crying her eyes out. Thankfully, you both had the Charms exam next, it was a simple timed essay, with no talking, and no cheating - obviously - but when Flitwicke saw Lilly's tear-stained cheeks, he didnt say anything about the way you reached forward to hold lilys hand as she sat at the desk in front of you.

You could feel James' eyes on you both as he sends worried glances at the girl of his dreams, trying to catch your eye to ask silently about the pretty redhead.

The moment Flitwicke dismisses everyone, James is on his way over as Lilly speaks lowly to you.

"Thank you for being so kind, I know we aren't exactly close" Lilly mumbles, wiping her her face with her long sleeves as you dig through your bag, finally finding the face wipes you have and handing them to her gently. "No, of course, you're Remus' friend" you smile softly.

She takes the wipes greatfully as James stops at her side, his hands gently tipping up her head to make her face him, "what happened Lils? Is everything okay?" He murmurs softly, his hazel eyes searching over her for any sign of injury. Lilly hiccups, "my cat died" she sniffles, and sympathy strikes at you as your hands immediately wrap around her, hugging her lightly, your hand rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"I'm sorry, Lilly, I know how awful that is" you hum, and James relaxes, gently brushing Lilly's red hair back from her face as he gently takes the wipe from her hand, cleaning her tears without smudging her eye makeup. Regulus stops by, frowning softly as he takes in Lilly, "are you alright, Evans?" He asks quietly, and Lilly nods, repeating her heartache. Regulus' eyes fill with a soft sympathy and he nods slowly.

"Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that" he murmurs, smiling sadly at James and hesitating before nodding at you and continuing onwards. You watch him for a moment, the threes dynamic slowly fitting into place in your mind. Curiosity and slight amusement fill you as you wonder about how the next stages in their relationships will work out, if they'll end up together or not.

"Are you coming, y/n?" James hums, and it yanks you back to reality. You nod, hurrying after the two, wrapping your arm around Lillys shoulders as you walk, James' hand gently rubbing up and down her back as she sniffles softly, explaining her cat and how wonderful he was.

☕︎︎

You practically sprint to the room of requirement after dinner. Things have been rushing so quickly and the days seemed so much shorter, and you felt so thrown off.

I need a place where everything is slower.

The door appears and you make your way in, immediately heading right towards the very back of the huge room, a library, tearoom, music room, and living room all combined into one. The grand piano is tucked away between two of the large bookshelves, and a few small tables littered with kettles, and sugar, and cream, and cups with saucers are hidden few and far between the shelves as well. You reach the back of the room and fall onto one of the couches, a few chairs and couches all huddle around the large fireplace, the soft, antique, red persian rug laid across the floor, warmed by the fires heat.

You sit up and look towards the small rack in the corner of the room, mostly hidden away, with changes of clothes. You make your way towards it and look through the items, deciding to change from your uniform into comfortable leggings and a large sweater, kicking off your shoes before browsing the shelve of candles. One peculiar one catches your attention.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒅

You hum and gently take it from the shelf, lighting it before you slip a book from the shelf and settle into one of the armchairs, curling up by the fire as you allow the tension in your shoulders to slowly lessen, until you've practically melted into the chair.

You're halfway through the book and the candle when you hear the door open, a soft voice calling for you from the entrance. "Y/n? Are you in here?" James sounds exhausted, and a shuffle of footsteps make you lift your head, "back here, James" you call quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace as the sunset shines through the windows, the golden light highlighting the small dust specks in the air as the fire sends a darker light around the couches, warmth blooming through your bones as you stretch for the first time in hours.

Remus and James round the bookshelf and pause, "it's so weird seeing the sunset at one in the morning" James mumbles sleepily, wearing his pajamas. Remus gazes softly around the room. "It's nice" Remus murmurs, moving over to lean on the back of your armchair, gently slipping his fingers through your hair soothingly. "You're so tense" he hums and James watches Remus, clearly judging, "liar" James huffs, collapsing onto the couch and tugging a blanket over him.

"Classes are canceled, started storming, a few classrooms in the dungeons are flooded and there isn't enough room for the potions students anywhere else, not for them to study safely, said there was a ghoul in the abandoned corridor" James mutters, closing his eyes as he tosses his glasses onto the coffee table.

Remus gently combs his fingers through your hair, his thumbs gently slipping down the back of your neck. "You alright dove? You been hiding away since dinner, I was worried" he hums, and you nod, quietly admitting how things have seemed lately. Rushed, busy, and torn to bits, sometimes you felt unsure of what day it was.

By the time the sun sets in the room, Sirius and Peter have joined you, brining along Lilly who easily slips into a comfortable chair with her book, and a cup of tea.

The room is now lit by oil lamps like the ones in your grandparents home, and the letter Sirius said came for you when he dropped onto the floor by the fireplace is now beside james' glasses as he sleeps peacefully, occasionally sniffling in his sleep.

You finish your book, eyes filled with tears, and you meet Remus' eyes hesitantly. He moves smoothly, settling in beside you and allowing you to babble on about the book as you cry quietly, Lilly, the person who recommended it to you, sends you an apologetic smile as you flip her off half-heartedly.

You easily relax against Remus' chest, and something feels hauntingly familiar.

He smells like chocolate, and cranberries, and sandalwood. He smells exactly like the candle that had made you relax the most as you did what all candle lovers do; sniff them until you find one that provides you with the perfect type of calm you want.

You were sure, if the room of requirement could talk, it would be cackling at the way your stomach dropped at the realization. You're starting to feel things a friend shouldn't feel for a friend, and the thought of losing Remus makes you curl closer to him, which doesn't help your racing heart.

There's no winning, you suppose. But at least you can see the stars, and at least you aren't quite so lonely anymore.

[mlove44lh]

Don´t hurt yourself

Chaprter 4 - Apathy

Masterlist

Previously chapter

Warnings: mention of cheating, angst, swearing, mention of miscarriage, mention of blood and hospital, alcohol use. This chapther it may be triggering for some people

Words: 4.337

“So what are you gonna say at my funeral, now that you've killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children, both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted. Most bomb p*ssy who, because of me, sleep evaded. Her god listening. Her heaven will be a love without betrayal.

Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks.”

August

"The physical pain is a gentle breeze compared to the emotional pain that engulfs me now. The contractions still echo through my body like violent waves, and tears continue to stream down my face. But none of this compares to the tightness I feel in my chest. The image of what happened before still haunts my mind like a nightmare that won't go away.

It lasted so little, I didn't even have a chance to know him, to hear his voice, admire his eyes, feel his warmth against mine. I will never know which one of us he would have resembled more. My dearest dream has turned into a nightmare.

They promised me that this would be the last exam, just to make sure I don't have any residue left inside me.

"Residue". That's what he became.

I go through all the procedures while being completely on autopilot, I no longer care where they take me, the smell of ether is already ingrained in me and everything seems like a loop of the same thing. Doctors come and go from my field of vision, their voices distant as if they were whispers.

A lot of blood lost, they said.

I think of Lewis, I think I saw him this morning, but I'm not sure, dreams are becoming more and more similar to reality. I don't know if I can trust my mind.

"Mrs. Hamilton? Do you hear me?"

The doctor stares at me, even though he is close, the sound of his voice feels like it's coming from miles away. I try to focus on the moment but it's almost impossible.

"We can search for treatments for your condition, but for now, the best course of action would be for you to refrain from attempting a new pregnancy. So that we can investigate and make the best decision before proceeding with anything else." He pauses before continuing, perhaps waiting for a question. I must have a million of them, but I can't even manage to utter my own name now. “I will call your husband, if everything goes well, you'll be discharged by morning. I'll be around if you need me.”

I watch him leave the room, the hole in my chest makes me feel absolutely nothing, which ends up being more comforting than the suffering I felt when I came across all that blood. I go back to staring at the white ceiling and hope this all passes soon.”

There is nothing more exhausting than loving for two.

I look at the diamond that even after six years, still shines brightly on my ring finger. It would be so much easier if there was no love, but it seems like love was the only thing that remained, even if only on one side.

Everything else has gone away; happiness, respect, attention. The only thing that remains will be the hardest to let go, love.

How does she look through the eyes of my husband? How does he see her? Certainly very different from me, certainly much better than me.

I don't know if I want to forgive him for what he did, but I also don't want to regret not having tried to fight for us both. Forgiving him would mean accepting what happened and trying to move forward together. On the other hand, moving forward without him would mean trying to heal on my own and leaving him behind.

But I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to lose him, even though the feeling that dominates me now is that I have been alone for much longer than I thought.

I stare at the cold coffee on my table, I thought I'd be rested and that I'd be able to think more clearly after a night of sleep, but I couldn't sleep for even a minute, and today things seem even more confusing and painful than yesterday.

"I don't think you should ask for a divorce"

"What?!"

"Put an end to this and move on."

I stare at the woman sitting in front of me as if she had just said the most absurd thing in the world. And it really sounded that way.

“Can't you see the state I am in right now?”

“Yes, your sadness today is clear to me. Just like your happiness almost blinded me during these seven years.”

The cafeteria is more crowded than usual, people are moving back and forth, most seem late for appointments. Emma and I are the contrast to these people, we've been sitting for hours, and many of those minutes have been spent in complete silence. For some reason she was the person I called as soon as I woke up from the worst night of my life.

Emma became practically my confidante over the years. I met her shortly after moving to Monaco, on the first day of my new job. She has always been kind, always seemed to understand me, and it didn't take long for her to become more than just a work colleague. Even after leaving the company after a few years, I didn't stop keeping in touch with her.

I know she has been married for over 30 years, and I also know that she is a very intelligent woman. So it made sense to me to arrange this meeting.

"Have you been through this?”

She says with such certainty that I should forgive him that it's almost like a confession.

“I've been married for thirty-two years. What do you think?"

"And was it like that? Did you just forgive him?”

“No. It was a lot of struggle, we almost gave up.”

“What happened?”

“I was pregnant when he told me he was in love with someone else and wanted to leave me. Can you imagine that?"

Emma is one of the sweetest people I know. Imagining her going through that makes me even more disturbed.

“How did I not know about this?”

“No one knows about it. I promised myself I wouldn't tell a soul.”

“Why are you telling me now?"

"Because you need to.” The woman continues to stare at me as she takes a small sip of her cappuccino. “No one can make the decision for you. But know that if you take him back, you will have to forget what happened and never bring it up again. On the other hand, you can achieve so much more together.”

I rest my head in my hands. I thought this conversation would bring clarity, but I'm even more confused now.

"I don't know, Emma. It's so complicated.”

"It's not easy, Y/n. It's a marriage, everything requires sacrifices. And sometimes those sacrifices are our principles. But if you love each other and want to give it another try, the rest can be fixed."

The thoughts and possibilities rush through me so quickly that I can't focus on just one. I promised myself I wouldn't go through this, but experiencing it firsthand, it's much more complex than I imagined. It's not just a simple 'yes' or 'no'. What's at stake is much bigger.

"Why don't you go out with some friends? It'll help clear your mind. Sometimes a hangover makes us think better about life."

I chuckle at your unusual request.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm exhausted."

"Staying in this spiral of sadness and doubt that he put you in won't help you, that I know."

I look at the woman in front of me for a few seconds, but I don't respond to her. The idea doesn't sound as absurd as it did seconds ago, but I don't think my exhaustion and melancholy would allow me to do something like that.

The woman gives me a kind smile, but I can sense pity in her gaze, which only makes me feel more ashamed and guilty.

"I need to go now," she says.

Emma gets up and grabs her coat, and I do the same.

"Thank you for listening to me.”

"You're welcome. You know I'm here for you anytime.”

As we leave the coffee shop, I feel the cold wind of the day wrapping around me. I put on my coat before turning to the woman one last time. Emma pulls me into a hug that I wasn't expecting, but I nestle into her arms, grateful for the chance to see her and for her willingness to help me.

"You'll know what to do when the time is right. And know that you'll never be alone, no matter what decision you make," her voice comes out softly in the midst of our embrace.

"Thank you so much," I say.

We part, and Emma continues to look at me for a moment before she starts to move. I watch her leave the street as she walks away calmly.

I get into the G-Wagon parked in front of the café, and I spend a few minutes staring at the steering wheel in my hands. I don't feel like going home. Even though he's not there, the idea of being surrounded by his things and his scent makes me anxious.

I look around the car and can visualize him in the passenger seat, with his mischievous smile and sparkling eyes. I remember how we used to travel together, planning adventures and sharing laughter along the way. Now, everything feels different.

I left everything behind to come here, to rebuild my life by his side. I faced different people, different cultures, a different language, but I had him by my side, so I didn't mind the barriers I encountered. Because I knew everything would be okay as long as I was with him. I've never regretted leaving what I left behind, even though I left a lot.

I contemplate before reaching for my bag and taking out my phone.I skip through all the unread messages from Lewis and go to her name in my contacts list. I feel anxious as I wait for the call to be answered.

-

The amber liquid goes down my throat, burning, but it burns less than the last shot seconds ago.

I slam the glass back on the round table and pop the small slice of lemon into my mouth, feeling the sour taste cut through the burning sensation of the drink.

I've lost count of how many of these I've had already. But I don't care about drinking too much now, because for the first time in weeks, I don't feel as suffocated.

I could become an alcoholic if it meant finding some peace from my own thoughts.

I reach for my phone inside my bag and stare at the lock screen. The small icon of his photo stares back at me.

“35 New messages”

Since yesterday they haven't stopped coming. I haven't responded to our conversation, but I can still read the messages. A mix of “please” and “let's talk” and a bunch of other things that make me want to drink even more.

Alessia sits back in front of me after returning from the bar with a drink in her hand. She notices my serious expression and looks at me with attentive eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" She asks, leaning towards me.

The busy bar isn't too far from Alessia's place, and the bustle around us are louder than I'd prefer. The piano music plays softly, and despite the chatter of people, I can still hear Alessia's words clearly. Ever since we met at this bar, Alessia has been trying to get out of me what she knows is wrong.

She knows me very well. Too well, I would say. It would be impossible to keep something as significant as this a secret from her, but I don't want to have to talk about it at the only time I can deceive myself and pretend it's not happening.

"It's complicated. I don't think here is the right time or place. I just want to be able to drink with my best friend tonight."

Alessia tilts her head, studying me intently. She knows I'm avoiding it, but she's also familiar with my stubbornness.

"Okay. But you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later."

I nod at her as I put my phone back in my bag.

"Tell me. How are the preparations for the move going?" I ask her.

I try to shift the topic of conversation, and fortunately, I succeed. Alessia's eyes light up when I mention my curiosity.

"An organized mess." She responds with a smile. "Everything is in chaos in the gallery, with boxes everywhere. I'm moving just a few blocks away but it feels like I'm moving to another country with so much to do. But I'm really glad I got that spot."

I can't help but smile as I listen to her. I know how much she's been looking forward to this moment, and her joy is contagious.

"The location is perfect, it will help a lot with business.”

"Well, I hope so. This effort has to be worth something. At least it's almost over."

"Do you already have the opening date?"

She nods as she takes a sip of her drink.

"I organized the inauguration cocktail even before starting the move." I chuckle with her. "It's going to be on Saturday. So make sure to arrange to go."

"Of course, I will."

The conversation with Alessia flows for a few more minutes as we share laughs and more drinks.

I'm already feeling buzzed, but the more we talk and drink, the calmer I feel. We're immersed in our conversation when the waiter suddenly approaches, placing an elegant glass on the table in front of me. The transparent liquid inside the glass shines under the soft bar light.

"A dry martini for the lady," the waiter says with a smile, pushing the glass towards me.

"I didn't order that." I say to the waiter, looking confused.

The waiter points to a man sitting at one of the high stools at the bar, who looks our way and raises his whisky glass in a suggestive gesture. He appears to be in his early thirties, with dark hair and a mischievous smile on his face.

"It was the gentleman at the bar who ordered it for you," the waiter explains before walking away.

I look back at the man in the bar, surprised, as he gazes at me with a confident look. He raises his whisky glass in a suggestive toast.

Alessia glances at the man and then turns her inquisitive gaze back to me, clearly confused about what's happening. I shrug and take a sip of the drink, trying to appear indifferent. The bitter taste of the drink mixed with the sensation of the ice in my mouth makes me realize that it's a well-made martini.

“Jesus, either he didn't notice this giant diamond on your finger, or he's confident enough to be an asshole.”

“Maybe he's just curious.”

She looks at me and just by her expression, I can decipher her thoughts. On a normal day, I would decline the drink, send it back, not touch it, or do something like that. But today, I just accepted it willingly, with a smile on my face, from the stranger who bought me an unrequested drink. So I understand the reason for her confusion in her expression.

Alessia is a smart woman who knows me well. I can almost hear the moment when it clicks for her. But she doesn't say anything, just shakes her head negatively.

“What's wrong? Why are you looking at me as if accepting the drink was a crime?”

“I didn't say anything.”

“You don't need to say anything with that look.”

She laughs.

“I just wasn't expecting that reaction, but whatever.”

The sound of Alessia's cellphone interrupts us, she reaches for her phone in her bag, rolling her eyes as she looks at the screen.

"Oh my God, they really can't do anything without me in that place," she says, getting up from her chair and preparing to move away. "Give me a minute, I need to take this call before the gallery catches fire or something."

"Sure," I say, chuckling as I watch Alessia walk away from the table until she's out of sight.

I turn my gaze back to the man who is still watching me, a small smile on his lips. His desire is evident, but my interest in him is as nonexistent as my desire for a dry martini tonight.

But I accept the drink, and now I gaze at the man with curiosity. Not because I want anything with him, but because I wonder what it would take for me to do to Lewis what he did to me. Definitely much more than an attractive man buying me a drink. I still know this, even though I'm angry and drunk to the point of not thinking about how it would further affect my situation.

I hate this stranger for making me go back to thinking about Lewis when I was managing to deceive myself so well for a few minutes.

I watch the man get up from his seat and slowly walk towards me. I don't know why he thought he was entitled to all these actions, and I have no interest in talking to him now, but I still don't move to stop him. I stay in my seat with my eyes fixed on him, waiting to see what will happen.

His posture is impeccable, and he seems to be over 6 feet tall. His suit is flawless, and the watch on his wrist looks expensive. He is an attractive man for more than just these things. But even so, I couldn't be less interested.

"I've been trying to choose a drink for you for a while." He says as he gets close enough.

"And what made you think a dry martini would be a good idea?"

"It's an elegant drink, and you seem like a very elegant woman, so it made sense." He smiles.

"Thank you." I smile back at him.

"I'm Henry," he says, extending his hand, expecting a handshake.

"Y/n." I say, extending my left hand to him. He looks at it while shaking it. The ring on my finger is not something that would go unnoticed, especially to someone interested in flirting with me. But that realization doesn't stop him from being here, with the same smile and the same posture.

"So, did I make the right choice?" he asks.

My drunkenness and thoughts make me take a few seconds to realize he's talking about the drink he sent me.

"Well, to be honest, that wouldn't have been my first choice," I laugh nervously. "I prefer something sweeter. But thank you, it was very kind of you."

The unwavering smile remains on his face. Meanwhile, I struggle to maintain minimal eye contact. Regret and anxiety flood me for having accepted the drink and not having avoided the conversation.

"Let me buy you another drink then, one that you like this time," he laughs. "I'm staying at the hotel across the street and maybe we could continue the night there..."

"I'm married," I say, hoping to make the man realize my lack of interest and leave. But that's not what happens.

"I noticed," he says, seemingly unfazed. "But you accepted the drink, so I didn't think it would be an issue."

He says it as if it were a simple math equation, as if it were obvious that I would want to sleep with him in exchange for a fucking dry martini, even though I'm married.

At least I have the answer for Alessia: he saw my ring and has enough confidence to be an asshole.

I don't respond to him immediately. I just stare at the man in front of me, trying to process the audacity of someone making such a crude assumption.

“Is everything okay?” I feel Alessia's hands on my back. She says to me as she glares at him, there is clear anger in her features directed at the man.

"Thanks for the drink," I say as I grab my purse and stand up from the table. I have to concentrate when I put my feet on the floor so I don't end up falling due to drunkenness.

I walk to the exit of the bar and head towards Alessia's car, which is parked a few meters from the front of the place. I hear her footsteps behind me.

"What happened?" she asks.

My heart is racing, and I don't even know why. What happened in there wasn't anything that hadn't happened before, but for some reason, it affected me to the point of wanting to cry. I didn't realize it would be such a big trigger for me.

"Nothing. I just..."

And then it happens. What has been pent up finally surfaces, and I burst into tears. The wave of emotion is so overwhelming that I can barely stay on my feet. I know there are people outside the bar staring at me now, but I couldn't hold it back even if I tried.

In an attempt to have more privacy, Alessia retrieves her car key from her purse, unlocks the passenger door, and guides me inside. She doesn't say anything, but holds my hand and waits for me to calm down.

I know my sobs echo through the car, but I couldn't keep them down even if I tried. I denied myself this feeling, and I knew it would take over me sooner or later.

I don't know how much time passes there. I am silently embraced by my best friend, who holds my hand firmly as if she feels that I might slip away at any moment.

"He cheated on me," the words come out between sobs. I watch her posture change beside me. "In September, Alessia."

"Son of a bitch," she whispers, and I'm not sure if it's directed at me or herself.

"I thought nothing was wrong. He was distant, but after everything, it was normal for that to happen," I break my gaze from Alessia and look down at our connected hands. "But then I found a fucking bracelet in his car. And a few days later, I found out who it belonged to."

"Did you talk to him?” Her voice is low, as if she's not sure if asking me something like that would be helpful or not in my situation.

I nodded at her before continuing to speak.

"I saw her, Alessia. I looked into her eyes while she confirmed to me that she was with my husband. I've never felt so ugly, ridiculous, and humiliated in my life."

I give myself a few seconds to try to calm down, but every time I start speaking again, the tears and despair come flooding back.

"He told me that I was distant, that I changed after the diagnosis. He tried to justify what he did" I say, feeling Alessia's hand gripping mine tightly, providing comfort. "I don't know what to do now."

I look back at her, and I can see the emotion in her eyes.

"You know what to do, Y/n. Look at yourself now, if this isn't a cry for help, I don't know what is. The only problem is that the only person who can get you out of this is yourself."

She pulls me into a tight hug, and we stay like that for some time.

"I'm so sorry. Truly, deeply sorry," She say, pulling away from the hug, but Alessia stays close to me. "I swear, I could kill him right now."

"I know," I manage to smile through my tears. "But I don't think that would solve much."

Alessia backs away from me when she realizes I have calmed down, and she starts the car.

"You can stay at my place as long as you want," she says, releasing the handbrake and preparing to drive out of the parking spot.

"No. I want to go home," I reply.

Alessia looks back at me.

"Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea. Stay with me for a few days, try to think about it away from him,"

"No, I don't want to run away. I shouldn't have even left home today." She keeps staring at me with the steering wheel in her hands. "Please, I need this."

Alessia looks at me for a few seconds before sighing in defeat.

"Alright."

The drive home isn't long. I try to calm down during the journey, but the closer we get, the more I feel the urge to turn back. I know I have to resolve this situation and make a decision soon, but I'm afraid of saying goodbye to the only good thing I've ever had in my life.

Author's notes: Thanks for your patience in waiting until now, and... CHAPTER 5 IS OUT NOW! GO, GO, GO!!

Taglist:

@slafgoalskybaby, @justanormalfangirlsworld, @ravenqueen27, @nakamotosmoron, @supersanelyromantic, @maryseesthings, @bebesobrielo, @tenaciousathleteoperatorgarden, @bbhyunee, @missamericana69, @thotsposts.

If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglist, please let me know!

[sharuruwrites]

Pretender

Goodbye. I am not your soulmate.

It’s heart-breaking, but I can’t deny reality,

Still, leaving your side is so hard.

-Pretender by Official Hige Dandism

Tags: Dazai x Fem!Reader, Dazai cranks up his self-loathing to a 100, hurt, break-up, angst, Dazai longing, before the events of entrance exam and after events of Port Mafia, Unedited

Disclaimer: I don't own BSD.

Masterlist

-------------------------

It was a silent morning in your apartment when Dazai uttered this words to you, his girlfriend of two years.

“Let’s break-up.”

Despite the indifferent tone in his voice, your expression didn't change as you silently drank your tea. Were you too shocked to process this information? Or, perhaps you knew you'll be parting ways with him?

You gently placed the cup down on the tea saucer, before meeting your soon-to-be ex's gaze. "If you truly want me to bawl my eyes out, you shouldn't have warned me in the first place, Osamu."

Before fate pushed you two to meet, Dazai recently passed his entrance exam as the new detective for the agency, and to celebrate his success, he chose to go to Lupin. And at that bar, you were there, drinking by yourself. After few exchange of glasses and, he found himself fascinated with you.

“Wanna go out?”‌ You asked, lazily tracing the lid of your glass. "I'm serious about it."

Dazai looked down at his alcoholic beverage. He didn't know you well enough for him to warrant to have a relationship with you, but neither do you. If he pursued this relationship, maybe you would help him understand more about humanity.

“Sure,”‌ Dazai smirked. “Although I agree to it, I just want to give you a heads up that our relationship will be short lived and one-sided.”

True to his words, he had the front row seats of his love story turning into a one-man show ran by you. What he didn’t expect, you stood by his side for the past two years. He couldn't pinpoint on what made you stay, but he liked to think that it had something to do with his love for dramatic flair. Afterall, you were just there whenever he needed someone to lean on. You never failed him. Because of it, he learned how to fall for you.

Except, him on the other hand, he lost count on the many times he knew you're disappointed on him. At first, he thought of many ways he could make up for it by showering you with gifts and affections. However, the moment you nursed him back to health from the annual flu, it became clear to him that you were never meant to be his.

Dazai Osamu was never gonna be your soulmate, because of how selfless you were. Perhaps, for the first time in his life, he feared the concept of 'us' between you and him, especially with his dark past and his line of work. He rather have you be well and alive, instead of fearing the possibility of you dying for him.

It was a strange idea for him to come into terms with it which it took him another 365 days to accept it. He always yearned to die with a beautiful lady like you next to him, but, his love for you wished that it wasn't you.

“I'm sorry, love.”‌

Like always, his apologies were devoid of life and meaningless. You never flinched away or got mad at him for it. It made him wonder why you're indifferent with his aloofness. Maybe you're aware of his shortcomings, or your too blinded by your love for him.

"What's there to apologize for?" You got up from your seat, before grabbing your used dishware. "It was nice while it lasted."

After what it felt like an eternity, he had to go and get ready for his mission in the afternoon. He left your spare keys to your apartment at the coffee table, and you assured him that you would drop his stuff at his place later in the day. All that's left of him was to open the door in front of him and leave.

But, his feet was cemented on the carpet floor like it was telling him not to leave. He already accepted the reality it wasn't you on his side at the end, but why does his heart kept trying to deny the truth?

“Osamu?" He looked behind, and saw you tilted your head to the side. "What's wrong?"

Dazai gently cupped your cheek with his hand, and his thumb brushed against your skin. He noticed three things immediately that brought a small smile to his lips. Your eyes were getting watery and red. Your temperature was unexpectedly hot. Lastly, the sudden stillness of your breath as if you have forgotten how to breathe after he touched your face.

A question popped in his head. Were you putting that strong facade for the both of you?‌ Or, to convinced yourself not to look pathetic in his goodbye?

Your warmth, your laughter, and the sound of his name from your voice, he wanted all of them ingrained it into his memory. He knew he’s a selfish and cruel man who loathe life itself, but…for once in his life, he wished he could change.

And, If he had the power to choose a life line, he would choose a different version of himself with a different set of personality and morals. Yet, it made him wonder if you still love him despite him being an entirely new person. He wished he could say 'I love you' to you without any repercussions.

But, his wishes and playing around the scenarios of what-if's were all in vain as you were another chapter in his life that he needed to move on from.

“I don’t…want to forget you that’s all…” Dazai took a deep breath before he smiled bittersweetly at you. "You're still beautiful that it made me left breatheless."

[my-blind-album]

Anemone: Reader, Lady Lesso, I feel like I haven't seen you both in ages.

Reader: Well grading the Nevers practical exam has been a pain in the ASS, most of them were so bad that Hort's single chested werewolf hair could land him the highest in the whole grade.

Clarissa: Oh...that's...good...enough.

Leonora: Yeah, well good enough isn't gonna get evil a win this year.

Clarissa: How about we play a game to release the stress within us?

Reader: Stress? Are the Evers also crappy students?

Anemone: Half of my class failed a smiling test...SMILING!

Leonora: *laughs out loud while holding onto her chest*

Reader: *tries not to laugh* Smiling?

Anemone: Yeah, it's part of their Beautification practical exam.

Leonora: Oh my god! *wipes a tear from her eye* And to think that I thought all Evers could do was be narcissists with fake, white smiles!

Anemone: Yeah, Yeah suck it up, Red.

Leonora: Alright Clarissa what silly little game do you want us to play?

Clarissa: Truth or Dare!

Leonora: And it just got sillier.

Clarissa: But if you don't do a dare or lie during a truth, you get zapped!

Leonora: Now that's what I'm talking about! Pain!

Reader: Alright then let's play.

Clarissa: Okay, I'll go first! *clears throat* Anemone, Truth or Dare?

Anemone: Simple, truth.

Leonora: One word, wimp!

Anemone: *rolls eyes*

Clarissa: Is it true that you had to scrubbed every inch of the showering quarters because apparently two students had a little fiasco?

Anemone: Yes

Reader: Fiasco as in?

Anemone: Apparently two Ever students suck into the bathroom quarters at midnight and decided to "have fun".

Leonora: Teenagehood, a time when young boys and girls fulfil their lustful desires.

Anemone: Speaking of lust, Lesso, truth or dare?

Leonora: Is that even a question? Dare

Anemone: I dare you, to spend 24 hours locked in a room with Reader while both of you being under the influence of sex pollen and the last to give in, has to do whatever the winner wants for a week!

Reader: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! If we could talk a moment to think clearly about this-

Leonora: Deal! The dare starts at midnight.

Clarissa: 3 hours left.

Reader: Wait, are we seriously, letting this happen-

Leonora: Reader, truth or dare? Oh wait- never mind, I'll just tell you what to do once I win this dare!

Reader: *scoffs* You know what forget it- I accept to this anyway cause I'll do anything to get Lesso to do what I want, for A WHOLE WEEK.

Leonora: *takes out hand*

Reader: *shakes it*

Leonora: May the less horny person win.

Reader: May the less horny person win.

Clarissa: *whispers to Anemone* Do you think this was a bad idea?

Anemone: Abso-fucking-lutely!

---

This is a teaser for a fanfic I'm doing for Lady Leonora Lesso and our darling female reader.

[inkblackorchid]

So... about season 3 Aki.

Ok harsh contrast to my previous, excited post, but I did say I had more to yell about episode 75 and I need to get this off my chest anyway. Plus, I remember mentioning in a post that I need to talk about season 3 onward Aki anyhow, so might as well do that now! I am thinking Big Thoughts and I need to Scream.

Long, incoherent, unhinged rant incoming because I have 100 things to say and 100000 screenshots to post, but I am also tired and my brain is mush.

Can we please talk about all the jarringly unfulfilled setup the start of season 3 did for Aki? Because I'm starting to feel an urge to claw at the walls. I'm gonna go through this, piece by piece of damning evidence, because I need to vent my utter confusion and frustration somehow, I guess. Okay. So.

After giving us a bit of time to settle in after the timeskip into the pre-WRGP stretch of things, the itty-bitty portion of the story Aki occupies at this point starts off arguably strong. Yusei gets kidnapped, everyone's in a frenzy about it, but Aki's especially worried.

Then this. Funky new signer powers! Nobody's been able to do this before! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

Then Aki "no sense of self-preservation" Izayoi gets herself in a bunch of danger trying to rescue Yusei and we get this:

Oh! Wow! Aki can control her powers now! (Which: how. Why did they never show us this. That alone could have made for a whole mini-arc. Why waste that????) That would give the writers so many cool opportunities to let her use them! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)

(Side note: I love this scene. I love it to death. They're both ride-or-die "who cares for my safety when yours is on the line" for each other and I love them.)

Of course, shenanigans then ensue, leading up to Sherry's marvellous introduction.

(Mwah. I blow her a little kiss.)

And it is at this point that Aki Has An Epiphany.

And to top it off, she gets some interesting interactions with Sherry, too!

So Aki resolves that she wants to become a turbo-duellist, too. And the thing is, this isn't a little one-off thing or something they never deliver on. They end up building this up for several episodes, bit by bit. First we get another mention of it at the pre-WRGP press thingy they all attend:

Then it's brought up again when Yusei accepts the first duel against Bruno/Antinomy:

(Also, side note again, but can I just mention that Aki also gets this moment the episode before:)

(Where she literally puts herself directly in harm's way in a public setting to protect people with her powers??? Like, I'm sorry, pinch me or something, but how does that not scream "badass good girl setup"???? HOW?)

So we get at least three episodes worth of buildup where Aki agonizes over becoming a turbo duellist to understand what her friends (but especially Yusei) are feeling when they duel like that, and then they finally deliver on it and episode 75 has her getting her license. And it's fantastic. Seriously. That episode is golden. Not just because it delivers on this promise, not just because it has a really cute moment between Aki and Yusei in it (regardless of how you read their relationship dynamic), and not just because it (as per my last post) showcases how much the rest of Team 5Ds cares about Aki (by literally building a runner for her and accompanying her to her exam and don't even get me started on Jack beating up those jerks trying to make her crash unprompted) but because it gives us just that smidgen more detail about Aki's character, too. Because the thing is, at first, she majorly sucks at driving.

And not only is this realistic to a degree (learning to drive is hard, regardless of what you're learning to drive), it's also great, because you know what Aki's response to it is?

She keeps going. She doesn't let it get her down, she gets back up and tries again. (And from a writing standpoint, this is lovely because that stubbornness is great in situations like this, but you could easily turn it into a weakness in a different scenario if you wanted to.)

And not only does Aki learn driving the hard way here, she also finds herself confronted with jerks who don't want her to succeed,

(Ruka, sweetie, I love you.)

and she makes an absolute rookie mistake during her exam by trying to play a speed spell when she doesn't have the necessary speed counters.

And feel free to disagree, but I think this is also great. Because honestly? While driving a really damned fast motorcycle that I'm not super used to yet, and being expected to make solid tactical judgements in an overcomplicated card game—the rules of which are slightly different when you're playing it on a motorcycle—at the same time, I would likely also mess up like that and accidentally try to make an illegal play. But the thing is, the episode rewards her for sticking it out anyway by letting her pull off a really complicated driving manoeuvre to save herself from her envious turbo-duelling-license colleagues' cheap tricks, and by letting her score a really nice win from a tight spot, much like any of the boys would have in her position.

(Take that, you jerks. Dumbasses only get blurry screenshots.)

So Aki gets her license and is welcomed by the team as a fresh turbo duellist. Hooray!

(I love them all so, so much, help me.)

And we also get this:

Wouldn't you know it! Sherry's been watching Aki get her license with interest! And she seems to be mighty pleased with the result!

So. After all that, I don't think you could blame anyone (it's me, I'm anyone) for getting really excited about what Aki's gonna get up to from this point outward. Aki can control her powers now! And she got her turbo duelling license! And we've got a new, enigmatic side character who seems like she could have super interesting interactions with and play off Aki! I wonder what they're gonna do with all that.

*deep breath*

Sigh.

Seeing as I already know this show like the palm of my hand, I kind of dreaded getting past this episode because I know exactly what happens to Aki from this point out: Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, well, no. See, I went back and checked all the episodes I have left, just to make sure, just in case I forgot something (very likely when you've already watched the show three times, I know).

From here on out, during the entire pre-WRGP, WRGP, and Ark Cradle arc, Aki gets exactly three things to do:

She uses her shiny new turbo duelling license to fill in for Crow at the Team Unicorn match because he got injured. Which, on paper, is a perfect way to let her have the spotlight for a moment. Except, the only thing she gets that spotlight for is to last a hot four turns in the duel before losing spectacularly to Andre and literally never turbo duelling again for the rest of the show. (Like, yes. The moment where she summons Stardust Dragon is chefs kiss and legendary. But in light of the surrounding circumstances, it feels like a consolation prize to make up for the ensuing character trainwreck.)

Since Crow is technically still injured when they're meant to go up against Team Catastrophe, Aki trains to fill in for him there again. Except! They intentionally make her crash right before the duel, putting her in a short-term coma! And as the icing on the cake, when she wakes up, it also turns out she lost the powers she was only just able to control for absolutely. no. reason. None. They never bother explaining it, they don't even try to hint at why they might have vanished. (I have my own theories for why they had to let her powers vanish and they all start and end with the words "we couldn't be bothered to figure out how to write this character".)

At the very end of the show, the very end, after temporarily fridging Sherry, too, they dig both girls back up in order to let them participate in a three-way final boss duel with Crow. (Which is a fantastic duel, I love it to pieces. Genuinely.) You could argue that they tried to cash in on all the intrigue they set up between Aki and Sherry here, but—come on. At the end of the show? Seriously? Oh, and did I mention that for some reason, Aki's powers mysteriously reappear after this duel? For no reason? Again?

I just. It does not compute. They went as far as doing all this setup, letting Aki get the hang of her powers, letting her get her license, making her part of Team 5Ds, even giving us a new character that seemed like the perfect fit to let her bounce off of—and then, like some sort of kafkaesque reverse-miracle, they somehow managed to take a sharp left into "whoops, don't care about this character" and nearly wasted the entirety of that setup in one fell swoop. If it weren't for that finale saving at least a smidgen of it, I'd be holding a torch and a pitchfork over here. (Hell, I might, even knowing that Aki's final duel in the show is kickass.)

Please tell me if this is just me (15 years after the show released, I know, leave me alone), but this feels like they were literally loading Chekov's gun directly within view of the audience, only to later procede to toss the damned thing into the sea instead of firing it.

Okay. Okay, I think I'm done. For anyone who actually bothered with the whole post, first of all, thank you for your attention, secondly, sorry, but this does, indeed, still bother me ten years after I first found this show, so I had to get it out or it would have eaten at me forever. God damn it.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to writing fics where Aki actually gets something to do right this second. If anyone's interested in giving a fic series where Aki gets a separate character arc that tries to stay mostly canon-compliant after the defeat of the dark signers a go, you can find my stuff here.

[miabebe]

Hi!

Um, idk how to start but oh well, hello, I don't remember when exactly I started following you, but I think it was when you started writing the where you're convenient series. I do remember that the story that made me follow you was the legend of the sea. Okay that aside, I just wanted to say that I really really appreciate your works. It usually takes me a while to send an ask to someone and I always feel bad because I really went to tell people how much I love their writings but it takes a lot of courage for me to actually send an ask. Oh god, I'm rambling, it's just, I've been wanting to tell you how much I love your works and I think the accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss oneshot just gave me that courage to do this. I'll start off with the fact that the legend of the sea was my first read from your works and it was idk, so comforting? I just loved cheol's character and I felt so good reading it, well, that has a lot to do with the fact that I am a huge angst enthusiast but yeah, it was such a good read, I absolutely loved it. Next well, I had first read Joshua's where you're convenient story and when I tell you I cried, not because of how painful it was, but because of the fact that it's hard to find good shua angst and this one was just so good, I love love loved it. Moving on to the too many beds oneshot, I want you to know that I had seen you post the teaser for it and was so eagerly waiting for it and when you posted the full fic, I had just written my dance exam and it didn't go nearly as well as my previous ones and I guess, reading it was like treating myself to something good to make myself feel better. I am such a sucker for e2l and the way those two were so genuine with each other was delightful to read. Them being so accepting of their feelings, not needing to confront them with a heavy heart but understanding them so well and, listen it was just perfection. I've already read it a few times and I'm going to read it again in the future. Now, if we talk about the the jeonghan's mafia oneshot, it was so different from what I was expecting, like idk, it was so unexpected, but in a good way. I love when plotlines are completely unexpected, they're always so fun to read. The two of them living together and growing on each other, falling in love, oh god, it was so good, their dynamics, their complicated feelings, it was mindblowing. Oh, and bss, I absolutely loved their characters, they were such a fun addition to the plot, they made it lighter. The angst was chef's kiss 💋. Okay, last but definitely not the least, I am so excited for the camp seventeen series, I read the prologue and well, if you think you are unhinged to write it, I can tell you, I am just as unhinged or maybe more for how much I'm anticipating it and how much I'm gonna love it. I squealed when I read the prologue and their descriptions, it is so exciting. There's still other works of yours that I haven't talked about but I've already said so much, I'll cover the other ones next time. Please, take your time writing and thank you for putting the effort to write such masterpieces. I heard you're not feeling well, please take care of yourself, hope you feel better soon. Thank you again, and I'm sorry, I blabbered too much.

In all the time I've been on this app, this might be one of the most heartwarming things I've ever received 😭🫂 I'm particularly shy too so I know how hard it must've been for you to send this and I'm so so so grateful to hear from you, thank you so much ❤️

The Legend of the Sea was a particularly difficult write - I knew the writing style wouldn't be everyone's type but I wanted to challenge myself so I wrote it and I'm so happy you liked it too!

Where you're convenient is also one of my favourites, I loveeee the marriage of convenience trope so much, it has sooo much scope? But aaahhh you cried? I'm touched you thought it was worthy of those happy tears 🥲

I'm so sorry to hear about your exam but I'm glad something I've written gave you a little solace! I don't think there's a bigger honour than being able to make someone happy with a few words, I'm glad I could do that for you, it makes all of this worth it!

I really was banking on the bringing a unique plot line for all my reverse trope one shots, I feel so accomplished knowing the Jeonghan one was unexpected 🤭 thank you so much for loving that piece!

Ahhh Camp Seventeen is coming next and I have sooo much planned for it, I'm so excited to share with you - I hope it'll be just as good or even better than everything so far, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it when the chapters start dropping!

Again thank you so so so much for sending this to me, I couldn't have been happier reading this 🫂 I hope you'll ramble often in my inbox or even in my DMs if that's more convenient for you, I'd love to talk more ❤️

[everythingisarabbithole]

just remembered the song (parody song?) ''word crimes'' (i think. by weird al yankovic idk) and beloved ELL student friend, whatever do you make of it? would very much like to know your thoughts :3

alright here we go!! welcome to my saturday night talk show.

thoughts, thoughts... first up, a disclaimer. I had not heard the song before, and this is all just what I thought when listening to it for the first time (and I guess a few more times while writing). I am also not an admirable student.

now that that's out of the way: the first thing that came to mind was that the word "crimes" is rather harsh! as if it were a punishable crime... well, sg is known as a fine country. (how much would I have to pay for the improper english in this post?)

If you can't write in the proper way

the "proper" way is context-dependent! Here, however, it likely refers to the standard variety used in some particular region, probably Standard American English or Standard British English.

oh, but here's the catch: those aren't the only varieties around, are they? especially with the number of people around the world that speak English nowadays. What do we speak? can we call it British English? debatable. (but it probably doesn't matter what we call it. anyway, the last part of this is relevant here, I think).

perhaps we should say the a proper way--no no no, "proper" still suggests "correct". here we go full circle: what's correct is context-dependent!

Maybe you flunked that class

flunked? like literally? sounds unfortunate

And maybe now you find That people mock you online

The really funny ones are those where they go back and forth telling each other off in the comments of a completely unrelated post.

in my opinion? it's the internet. over half the world is here, so language and opinions surrounding language vary. I'd rather find other things to do than give strangers unsolicited (and subjective) advice on language. unless it's a language exchange site (where by all means give feedback but not mock), I think it's... it's... I don't know, these people are trolling.

Gonna familiarize you

so... is gonna acceptable "proper" language because of its high use?

(not entirely relevant but. if I had written familiarize in primary school, that would not have been accepted. but they no longer do that, if I'm not wrong. American English is getting more trendy now, eh?)

You'll learn the definitions of nouns and prepositions

oh I still remember that preposition song!

Now, did I stammer

hm. might not be a problem with literacy

You should know when it's "less" or it's "fewer"

now this reminds me of the thing with the Tesco checkout signs ("ten items or less", which if you go by the books, is ungrammatical) in one of our exam texts

Like I could care less

I've never heard this. (either it's not said here, or it's not said in my circle. both are possible)

You'd better slow down and use the right pronoun

which would be...?

Your participle's danglin'

hm. fair

although I imagine this matters only for formal stuff. in other cases? context fills things in, and the main goal is communication, I think. If that's achieved even with a dangling particle, so be it. (we don't want another chain of funny comments)

If you really wanna, leave out that Oxford comma

I would say that I use those pretty often. why? I don't know. If you've put a comma after everything else, why be quirky and end the pattern? (or maybe I'm just indecisive as to whether I'm actually ending the list or not.)

why would you want to leave it out?

Use your spellchecker

ew. it doesn't do what I want it to. no thank you (at least for writing creative fiction and personal things.)

You should never write words using numbers unless you're seven

is there something I'm not getting? (I would not be surprised if that were true.) I don't think the majority of seven year olds know how to do that.

Well anyway, I think it's really cool when words are written with numbers! what's that... does it fall under rebus? They're creative. It takes some smarts both to come up with them and to understand them. and I do find abbreviations/initialisms/acronyms fascinating in the same way! (unfortunately, I am rather terrible at remembering new ones. Now, I'm going on a little tangent here. a friend asked why I don't exactly text--how do I put it--more like a stereotypical person belonging to Generation Z. First of all, everyone writes differently. second, you want the kind of thing that appears in those lists of "teen slang words" and the like? I can pull it off quite well. however, it's not what I'm used to. I have a theory it's a tumblr thing. and possibly school. I shall not elaborate.)

Well, you should hire some cunning linguist to help you distinguish what is proper English

That won't work. Linguists argue about it too.

Time to learn your homophones is past due

why?

Always say "to whom" Don't ever say "to who"

This has unfortunately been drilled into me, resulting in a slightly uncomfortable feeling whenever I see "to who". But recall that I believe it's a waste of time to argue with people.

but the following... were not brought to my attention from an early age.

I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis

then what am I supposed to write in reading comprehension?

I hope you can tell If you're doing good or doing well

eh?

And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull What's figurative and what's literal

now that's taking the fun out of English. people like to play with language! I absolutely love the power of figurative language to keep boredom at bay. (And due to the productive nature of language, we have a growing number of tools at out disposal to do just that.)

I read your e-mail It's quite apparent Your grammar's errant You're incoherent

that's mean! And perfectly grammatical passages can be incoherent as well.

Think you should only Write in emoji

That's a tall task. And if I remember correctly, Gretchen McCulloch mentioned in her book Because Internet that she had considered giving a presentation in emoji but realised the limitations of emojis. They're not quite a language due to the many possible interpretations. There's no agreed-upon way to read emojis. (And, again if I'm remembering this correctly, she described them as gestures instead. Ah, here we go.)

Never mind I give up

sometimes that's hard too, especially for the rules that have been ingrained in you

@rainonthehillside @litanyofthemartyrs a penny for your thoughts? (optional)

[luvhoneypie]

Everybody talks

Pt.1

The teacher stood at his podium as he spoke to the students "So... as third-year students

Aldera Junior High, it's time to start thinking seriously about your futures and what you

want to do with your lives. I could pass out some career aptitude tests. But... Why bother? I know you all want to go to the Hero Track."

The students cheered as he said that. "Yes, yes, you've got some very impressive Quirks but no power usage allowed in school.

"Get a hold of yourselves..." He stayed with his depressed and exhausted tone before bakugou spoke up. "Hey, teach... Don't lump me in with this bunch of losers."

His dead and emotionless tone was starting to get bland and dry, but she kept listening to the teacher and those around her. "I'm the real deal but these guys will be lucky to end up as sidekicks to some busted D-lister." Katsuki spoke up as Y/n snickered, she loved how katski said everything with his full ego on display, it was quite entertaining "Ha! You think you're better than us, Katski?!" One of the students said with a glare. "Let's go, I'll take you all on!" Bakugou said with fierce anger and an even more egotistical tone. The teacher spoke up once again "Huh, you've got impressive test results. Maybe you will get into U.A. High."

  Some of their classmates murmured "He's gonna try for the national school?!"

"That school has a 0.2% acceptance rate!" The. The last spoke up "It's impossible to get into!"

"And that's exactly way it's the only place worthy of me. I aced all of the mock tests.

I'm the only one at this school who stands a chance of getting in. I'll end up more popular

than All Might himself!" He gloated falsely, she was sure he wasn't joking even though she deeply wished he was. Bakugou spoke up again. "And be the richest hero of all time!People all across the world will know who I am,and it all starts with U.A. High! And none of you damn extras have the fucking balls to one-up me-" He was cut off by his teacher speaking up once again Oh yeah, Midoriya and l/n. Don't you want to go to U.A. too?" The class erupted in laughter. It was getting ridiculous on how they teased Midorya relentlessly because of his quirkless status. "Midoriya? You're kidding, right? There's no way of getting into the Hero Course without a Quirk." One black haired student with long fingers stated bluntly with a hinge of amusement in their voice.

"Well, actually they got

rid of that rule. I could be the first one..." Midorya replied rather sheepishly, afraid of what responses he would get. While you on the other hand, supported your friend with your whole heart, mind, and soul! He had always been there for you, now you would always be there for him.

"Listen up, Deku... You're even worse than the rest of these damn rejects, you Quirk-less wannabe!" The angry blond shouted with nothing but pure hatred "You really think they

let someone like you in when they could have me?" Bakugou continued, but Y/n stepped in. "Shut the fuck up, Izuku has done nothing wrong short of out a pin needle in that over-fucking-inflated ego of yours! So shut the fuck up bakugou. "It's been so long since she had referred to him as bakugou, and nkr used honorifics. She must have been done with this silly boys quarrel. "No way!" Midorya interjected "You've got it all wrong. Really! I'm not trying to compete against you." He defended as he continued "You gotta believe me! It's just that... I've wanted to be a hero

since I was little. I may not have an quirk... But I can still try my hardest, can't I?"

He asked earnestly, that's all he'd ever wanted to be. Not the best... But his best. That's more than some could say.. 

"You'd never be able to hang with the best of the best. You'd die in the exams!" Shouted katsuki as he glared daggers at poor Midorya.

"Defenseless Izuku!" He continued "The schools already crappy, you really wanna embarrass it more by failing so hard?" The teacher stopped him before he could keep talking down on izuku "Hey, that's enough bakugou. While it's true, it's totally uncalled for" Bakugou said nothing as he rolled his eyes and rested his chin on his hand.

"Oh, and y/n. Please refrain from foul language." She regrettably nodded and sat back in her seat.

After class has finished, the murmurs of the remaining students could be heard

"Oh yeah, we should go to karaoke tonight." One said as they slung their bag over their shoulder. "Yeah, let's go... But man, that fight from this morning. Did you hear about it? Its all over the news." Y/n was already waiting at the door, being as she had already had her things and belongings placed and in her bag. She decided to help izuku with grabbing his things, the only thing left was his very 'Secret' book, Which only she knew the contents of it. As they both prepared to leave katsuki gruffly spoke up. "I don't know where the fuck either of you are going... Especially you Shitty face, but we're not done." Katsuki said gruffly, a smirk plastered onto his face with glaring and murderous eyes. "What ya got, his diary?" Another student, one of his lackeys said questioning the notebook in katsuki's hands.

The book read "Hero Analysis for the Future".

"Don't tell me you're taking notes

on how to be a hero. It's so pathetic!" Katsuki laughed as y/n glared him down. "He's delusional!" A lackey said with a laugh. "Yeah, real funny, guys." Izuku responded rather sheepishly. "Just give it back." "Listen, just give the damn book back. Please bakugou"

y/n pleaded with him, but he had no intention of listening to anything she said

"Most first-string heroes show potential early on, people look at them and just know

they're destined for greatness." Bakugou said as he still firmly held the book. "When I'm the only student from this garbage junior high

to get into U.A., people will start talking about me like that. They'll realise I'm legit,

the next big thing."

Y/n sighed as she looked over at bakugou and she thought 'i miss the way it was, when we were all friends.. but ever since he got that damned quirk everything changed... a long with his damned ego...'

"That's not ego talking, I just know I'm good." He replied as of he had read her mind

"Ego..." Izuku whispered. "Here's a little word of advice, nerd: Don't even think of applying, or else." He snarled as izuku whimpered "That's just sad." One of the students piped up as they looked at the dejected Izuku. "I thought you'd at least had some fight in you."

"He finally gets it, he'll never be a hero." Said bakugou as he looked down at the poor, green haired boy. "Better to find out now

instead of later, I guess."

"You know, if you really want to be a hero that badly, There actually might be another way..." Said katsuki with a smirk... Somehow she  knew what was coming next, but her body wouldn't let her do anything, let alone say anything. "Just pray that you'll be born with

a Quirk in your next life, and take a swan-dive

off the roof of the building." That's when she finally spoke up. "What... The... Fuck..."

She spat venomously as she glared at him through her hair. Her finger tips were lightly sparking with electricity as she slowly balled them into a fist "Something wrong?" He snarled and glared down at her figure. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Izuku... Go." He reluctantly nodded and complied and left the classroom to go home.

"What the fuck is wrong with you bakugou!?"

She shouted angrily as her fist grew lighter. "That's going to far! Even for an asshole like yourself" "I mean, if the shoe fits." Bakugou replied with a grin. He rolled his shoulders before shifting his stance to a more casual one. "besides, that loser's nothing more than a speck of dust on my shoe." She balled her fists tighter as she looked up at him near the podium where he was standing "He was your best friend for God's sakes bakugou! We were all friends... I was your fucking friend.. so what the fuck changed?"

She said angrily as she crossed her arms. Katsuki tilted his head back, giving her an indifferent look before settling back down onto the podium and crossing his arms. "Friend?" He scoffed. "He was nothing more then a loser who held me back. Don't mistake my pity for friendship." Bakugou's voice was cold, as if he were an ice statue. His words cut like knives. "So shut the fuck up l/n." He spat back. "None of this concerns you, this is between me and that damned deku." "No... Not anymore its not. And what about me asshole! You were my first real friend, my only one when I came to this god forsaken fucking city..." She said with an unidentical tone... He couldn't tell weather or not she was sad or angry. Katsuki shifted his stance slightly, before lowering his tone and body slightly to appear more casual. "I admit that you may have been my first... Friend." Katsuki was the type to always maintain a tough-guy facade. "It wasn't like I cared about you though." He smirked. "yeah, I noticed..." She said with a soft smile and she grabbed her bag*

"Well, see ya... Good bye bakugou" In those moments he hadn't realized what happened... until seconds later when she was out the door... it hit him 'good bye... bakugou'. Katsuki stiffened at the words. They sounded... Colder than she made them seem. The words made him feel a chill run down his spine. He looked at Yuji, his eyes widening.  He was blank... his eyes only filled with confusion untill it hit him...the words singed his mind "fuck.." He whispered as he shoved his hands in his pockets ans walked out the door