#i tend to have that problem whenever i have wips

[goldstarhoochie]

i finished it  ٩( ᐛ )و 

[markerofthemidnight]

Abstracted Heart, Mind and Soul

Art I kinda pushed out of an AU/concept that I need someone to write for me because I have too many WIPs.

I call this the “Abstraction AU” (unrelated to the Amazing Digital Circus, but does share some similarities), and here’s how it works:

The Basics

Inspired by Core Suppressions from Lobotomy Corporation

Basically, whenever one of the three undergoes extreme stress, they “Abstract” into one of these forms

The Headspace basically stops working the way it’s supposed to until the transformation is reversed: the way it’s affected depends on who’s Abstracting

The transformation only wears off once the side passes out: which sounds like it would result in a big boss fight or something

BUT, luckily for them, since Abstracting is basically letting out all your emotions and strength and fighting with all you’ve got, it is EXHAUSTING

so once it’s happened they’re typically not conscious for any more than an hour

Contrary to what you might guess at first, the side is still “themselves” while Abstracting: it’s just difficult to tell since the stress that causes the transformation also makes them act irrational and overly violent

Despite this, post-transformation, the side typically doesn’t have memories of what happened during the fight… until a few hours after waking up

It can happen to the same person more than once, but to Abstract for the first time you have to be pushed PARTICULARLY far

After that it gets a bit easier for it to happen again, like you’ve given into your inner monster

To further emphasise that, they all get “battle scars” from their first time Abstracting that stay with them for the rest of their lives

And to go into what the first time abstracting was like for each individual:

Heart

Abstraction is usually caused by intense stress.

While this is still true in Heart’s case, since being emotional is his job description, he needs to be pushed further than the others in order to Abstract

(because if that wasn’t the case, he would Abstract all the time)

Anyways, his first time probably came after days on end of extreme trauma

Specifically, trauma that neither Mind nor Soul did anything to try and stop

He likely Abstracted out of view from the others, and they didn’t even notice until Soul was like “wait why isn’t my trident working”

As Heart is… the heart of the Headspace, when he Abstracts, magic stops working there

His design was obviously based off of biblically accurate angels, as well as a Beholder from DND but without eyes so it would look like a heart

You’d think he’d be biased towards Mind while like that, but no- he goes after Soul.

He expected Mind to ignore him, but Soul? It’s his job to make sure things are alright with him, so why’d he just abandon him?

Even without the benefit of the Trident, though, I imagine Abstracted Heart wouldn’t be all too difficult for them to take down if they really tried their best, so he goes down rather quickly

After he wakes up, his head’s basically just in one big blur for a while until the memories start to come back

Then he just starts shaking and hugging them while constantly muttering apologies (even though he still has EVERY RIGHT to be mad)

”Battle scars” take the form of purple(-er) wings, fangs and a halo

Mind

Mind’s is a pretty different case

While his was also caused by days of repeated trauma, as Abstractions tend to be, his problem is that he kept trying to bottle it up and only started to show even the tiniest cracks just before the transformation

(after all, I don’t think they’d take a chance like that again after what happened with Heart)

He likely Abstracted right in front of Heart and Soul

His design was based off of UFOs, obviously, as well as a brain and spine. The eyelashes are meant to look like the sun’s rays

When he Abstracts, all laws of physics in the Headspace basically stop working and the place gets even weirder than normal

Despite having the advantage of Soul’s trident this time, taking him down is a lot harder since he’s metal: the key is to tire him out

When he wakes up after the fact, he’s even more of an asshole than usual, but mainly because he’s still tired and stressed

He gets all quiet once the memories start to come back to him though, like he feels bad about attacking them so violently but doesn’t really know how to express it

”Battle scars” take the form of rhombus-shaped pupils and back spikes

Soul

If you’re a time loop fan, then Soul Abstracting is typically what restarts the loop

He was designed to be the most humanoid to show that he was the closest to Whole, with three heads because… you know why

When he Abstracts, he fuses with his trident, the Headspace becomes black and white, and starts slowly to fall apart

Heart and Mind do not stand a CHANCE in this fight, hence why his Abstraction is inevitably what restarts the loop

However, if by some chance they lasted long enough for things to go back to normal, I imagine Soul would be… surprisingly nice after going back to normal

It’s like finally letting it all out made him calm down a bit. He’s still pretty awkward around them, but better than you might think

Even when the memories come back, sure he kinda shuts himself in for a bit and avoids talking about it, but he’s not as closed off as Mind is

Battle scars take the form of his right eye becoming normal (as in not identical to his left eye as seen in the art), and the left side of his face being covered in black (to match his face in his Abstracted form)

[the-ace-with-spades]

WIP Wednesday for multiple hangster fics because I wrote a bit during my train rides this weekend but won't be able to write more for a while...

snippets for the hangster a/b/o mpreg fic, with arms wide open (idea overview here)

Bradley is—he’s tired. Constantly tired. His feet feel like they are filled with water, his calves look like they’re filled with water, he’s had a nosebleed and bleeding gums this morning, and whenever he closes his eyes, he keeps seeing spots for a couple seconds after opening them again.

He’s been trying not to complain too much, Mav and Ice would panic if he did, but it hasn't been the easiest few weeks for him. 

Something on his face must have shown as he grabs the two copies left on his desk because Nat just takes them off his hands as they enter the corridor outside the office, and gives him a pitying look. “They’re really giving you a hard time, huh?”

“It’s genetic,” he says dryly and Nat snorts.

She’s still smiling softly as she asks, “Do you want to talk to him?”

“Not really, no,” he admits. Even the idea of seeing Jake makes him nauseous. “I’ll have to, at some point, even just so we can get some things clear. I just, I’d prefer to do that after the fact.”

“You think he’ll just—wait, until then?”

“I—I don’t know,” he replies. He knows Jake — or he had thought he knows him — and he’s not one to be predictable. He likes to think that the Jake he knew, that Jake would try to make it right, even if it is too late for it now that Bradley knows how he truly feels.“He said he doesn’t want any of it so, not talking, it’d be easier for him. He’s just not—”

“—the type to do things the easy way?”

****

It's a different office and a different secretary, not like the ones Bradley remembers. The secretary is far younger than the one Ice had when he was a teenager, who had been older than Ice, and the office is far bigger and far more formal. He’s come here wearing his uniform, thinking it’d make it easier to move around base in it, and he’s so glad — he’d have looked so out of place if he just arrived in jeans and a shirt.

“Can you call him and tell him it’s his son?”

This is stretching it, he knows. Bradley’s been Ice’s nothing, on paper, Ice as the head alpha of Bradley’s pack, an archaic thing not considered for much in today’s world, being the only connecting part for them. He might have been his kid, years and years before, but now, Ice probably wouldn’t have much but nostalgic empathy and leftover possessiveness for Bradley.

“Son?” the secretary asks. “He doesn’t have a son.”

He feels like a fraud as he says, “Name’s Bradley,” but he doesn’t have much choice.

She looks at him for a minute and he relents from fidgeting from foot to foot. Finally, she picks up the phone handle and with one button, connects to the office behind her. The rooms are soundproofed so he can only hear her parts, not even a whisper coming from the office door.

“Sir, there’s an unscheduled visitor asking to meet you. Yes. I know, yes. He’s a lieutenant. I know, sir. Didn’t say.” She pauses, glancing at Bradley again, and he waits in silence. “He claims he’s your son, sir, your son Bradley. Yes, Lieutenant Bradshaw, sir.”

Bradley clears his throat and she suddenly straightens up, blinking idly at the phone, not a word leaving her mouth for a couple of minutes..

“Sir?” she speaks up, eyes glancing toward him, confused. “I understand.” She puts down the phone and tilts her head at Bradley, frowning. Then, slowly, she tells him, “Admiral Kazansky will see you now.”

He takes a minute to process, staring at the door to Ice's office long enough for the secretary to clear her throat.

He wants to throw up all over again.

snippet for slow down (you're doing fine) chapter 7

Jake had never wondered why Bradley liked to come to an empty bar to relax but he supposed nostalgia had something to do with it — either because of his dad or because of his godfather — military bars tended to look similar.

It was the center of the problem, Jake supposed, him either never wondering why Bradley did certain things or being too insistent for his, their own good that he needed to know why.

Jake sat down in front of him, on the other side of the booth, crossing his arms and leaning on the table. Bradley glanced up at him, raised an eyebrow, and went back to filling out paperwork. Like he hadn't given Jake back the ring Jake thought he had lost forever years ago a few nights ago. Like he hadn’t admitted he knew Jake wanted to marry him barely a few nights ago.

Like he didn’t break and mend Jake’s heart when he gave him that envelope.

“Did you really play Danny from Grease in high school?”

Bradley put the pen down and frowned.

“How do you—It was Mav, wasn’t it?” he realized, shaking his head and sighing. He was smiling softly, head slightly tilted like he wanted to avoid Jake’s gaze but couldn’t — he looked lovely, rosy cheeks, loose curls on his forehead and all. “Before you say anything, I’ll remind you that I know you like Dolly Parton.”

“I stand by that, she's a star,” he answered without shame, smiling back. “You never sing any of the songs from it. You know, You’re the One I Want or Summer Lovin’ and all that.”

“It’s Nights, Summer Nights," Bradley said and Jake grinned because he really did sound like a theater kid. "And most of them are duets, don't exactly translate well while done solo, even with a crowd.”

He turned his gaze down back to the table but he didn’t pick up the pen and Jake observed him when he said, “I sold the ring.”

A barely-there flinch of his eyebrows and licking his lips was all Jake could notice before Bradley said, “Good.”

the (sometimes I feel) like a monkey pilot chapter 8 snippet

"Have you done something like this before?"

"No," he admitted.

“You said—”

"I told you I flew in an F-14, not that I piloted it."

In fact, the closest to piloting an F-14 he came was playing the flight simulator — it was their main source of entertainment after his top surgery and when Ice was on house arrest when he had cancer. He read the nine hundred pages of NATOPS for the Tomcat only because they wanted to keep the game realistic as much as possible and for hours, Bradley had listened as Ice, and sometimes Uncle Slider, explained to him how it looked in reality. They had shown him the differences between the NATOPS and the sims because he missed flying, but he had never thought he would have to fly an F-14 and was doing his hardest now to remember those days.

The idea that Bradley could fly this museum piece solely on the knowledge he gathered from a former Tomcat pair, few short flights as the backseater when he was fourteen, and the days spent in a civilian-grade flight simulator was already far-fetched — but this wasn't going to reassure anyone, so his mouth stayed shut.

"And you want to—"

"You see any other choices here? If so, be my guest," he offered. “Last chance to swap the seats.”

"You're going to kill us," Jake remarked and honestly, Bradley preferred to die trying than just give up. He was raised better.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, honey."

He resisted the urge to bang his head on the board in front of him and tried to remember what was next.

[simlicious]

Personal update

It's been a while since I wrote a longer personal post, so here we go. Long wall of text incoming!

I am not focused on making patterns so much as I am trying to make a tutorial on making them. Yesterday, I dived into making an explanatory animation and editing a short video clip I recorded. But adding transitions, titles, hints, etc, that stuff takes AGES. I have definitely gained a new level of respect for YouTubers!

Generally, I struggle a lot to get into any project and keep working on it. I'm 95% sure I have ADHD because the struggles I face are textbook ADHD. I have watched a lot of videos recently on ADHD, and especially also how symptoms manifest in women. I was the kid who always daydreamed in school. Who would go "ssssh!" angrily to classmates who were giggling/disrupting, because I got so distracted by it. I had to put all my energy into paying attention. I studied for tests on the last day or during the break before the lesson because I had no motivation beforehand. I had a hard time doing homework, I was just not motivated to do it and made a lot of careless mistakes too, especially with maths.

TBH, I've always felt really bad about showing so many WIPS and getting people's hopes up, and whenever I promise to get them done in a certain timeframe I meant what I said. But I often disappoint myself and you guys too because I often cannot pick up or work on a project. I know I want to finish it and that it would get me a satisfying feeling and probably praise from you guys, but it's still not enough motivation. It's like there is an invisible barrier and I cannot get through it. I often do not know myself why I can't do it. Whenever I do manage to pick up a project, I often have a good experience and at least make some progress on it. But it does not mean the next time is any easier 😭

I have some projects that are almost done, and there is just a little something to do and I just cannot bring myself to finish them. It's really frustrating. I have periods where I can just go with the flow and pick up whatever I can do and do not agonize as much about not being able to tackle bigger projects. But the tutorial project is one of the few goals I set for myself this year, and the year is more than half over already. I want to finally make some progress!

I realized why I am good at making patterns: They take a short amount of time, often between 15 minutes and 4 hours depending on the complexity, though most I can finish in an hour. I do not have to wait long until I can first test the new CC in my game, which is generally a very gratifying experience., since most of the time, the patterns are fine. But whenever they need to be tweaked again, I tend to put that off. It's really hard to pick them up because the gratification is not as high as the initial loading up. My brain is just not getting a high enough dose of dopamine from it, and it's like nope, why bother.

I also get into phases of hyperfocus, and in those, I can work 8 hours straight on a mesh, but once that streak is over... well, RIP WIP. And I can never finish a meshing project in one go. The base mesh might be finished, but then I need to make LODs, morphs, the textures... I often spend an initial 8 hours on one creation, and 20 more to revise stuff later on. I am also bad at judging how much time something takes, with some of my projects it's probably more like 40 hours that went into them already. Most notably a project I titled Exquisite Comfort Sweater. I have revised it 3 times I think, and I am still not done or satisfied with it:

The problems are not obvious from screenshots, there are texture flaws (which can be hidden nicely with patterns, and since the pattern tiling is so good I have used that cardigan often as a way to preview my patterns), but also bone and morph problems. I would not want to release a creation that is broken in my eyes. It might still work for posing and screenshots, but I want people to be able to play with my creations and not get distracted by terrible bone assignments. With this example, the custom bulky sleeves are what create a problem with the bones and morphs. They are just too different from EA's stuff and there is no good reference to clone those from. Hence I need to do manual edits, but that also involves a lot of trial and error. I recently learned how to tweak the bones manually in Blender, so I know I have the tools I need to elevate that to the level where I wanted it all along. But motivating myself to open that blender file still seems impossible.

My perfectionism compels me to enter a loop of creating, testing, seeing something I do not like, and having to do the cycle all over again. Because often, fixing a tiny thing also means I have to redo morphs,. LODS, textures, it takes ages to fix something. And then if I still don't like it, I have to do it a third time. Once my hyperfocus is over, the thing is just left in whatever state it was when I stopped.

I cannot bear to throw away any of my works in progress, because I do go back to some of them sometimes. But it really only happens very rarely that I finish something.

I spend a lot of time meshing and creating stuff, but it just never gets to a releasable state. So I probably have the same experience as someone who has published 100 meshes but I just have nothing to show for it. It sucks so much 😭

And I have been wanting to make tutorials about creating CC for AGES. In the past, I've written down written ones on a whim, but this time, I want to make video tutorials, because most people find them easier to grasp and more digestible. I have good ideas, and I have the knowledge to pass on, it really makes me sad to see so many people wanting to create CC but struggling to find good tutorials and resources. I want to help, I have the knowledge, but I struggle so much with getting things done. I start and I get overwhelmed. I get lost in details. My anxiety perks up. To say this is frustrating is an understatement. Whenever I publish a pattern collection, it feels as huge as writing a term paper. And I feel proud of myself when it is done and out, but it also exhausts me. I really wish I could put out content more frequently. That it wasn't such a huge deal, such a struggle.

I hardly even make goals anymore because most I never reach anyway, because I cannot walk that road. It's like I get off the path and get horribly lost.

And I really am sorry about not being able to keep promises. I often don't even mention stuff I am working on, but I sometimes do need the input/dopamine from my lovely blog readers to keep going.

I think if I declare a deadline, that will help me finish a project. It sometimes works, but then sometimes it does not. And it sometimes makes me want to write "unreliable" in my tumblr profile, but that feels so harsh and I need to show compassion toward myself if I want to make progress.

Lately, I have watched a lot of "tips and strategies for ADHD" videos. One video addressed something very important: the fact that people with ADHD can get bored with a certain strategy and then it just does not work anymore. So I cannot trust a habit to work forever, because out of the blue, that trusty strategy may just stop working.

Finding strategies that work is difficult, and getting into a new habit is even harder. I feel like life is rigged against me and my struggles are mostly unseen because my wins are not flashy at all. For me, cleaning my apartment is a big deal. Taking a walk with my best friends 2 times a week feels like a full week. We even go when it's raining. Two years ago, I would never thought this possible, but this shows me that I am making progress. The progress is just in areas that remain unseen, that do not produce big results, nothing to put in a resume, or in a portfolio.

I'm writing all this because I have been especially upset and frustrated with my inability to work lately. And I'm sad that I cannot create the resources for you the way I want to. That everything takes me so much longer than I anticipated. That I make promises that I cannot keep.

I need to get my frustrations out of my system so I can focus on small wins and hope they eventually add up to a big one.

If you happen to know some good ADHD resources or strategies that you have experience with, feel free to share them, they are much appreciated!

[ryemackerel]

HALLO i was wondering how you get out of art block?? your art is very expressive and i absolutely adore all your colour choices and designs. ive been having trouble with art block for a very long time now so i’m just trying to ask other artists how they get outta it <3 i hope u have a niceday yesyes

OUGHH HELLO!!! holy crap, art block is the WORST. everytime i encounter it, its always hard to beat it D: theres days where i feel like i WANT to draw something so badly but my brain just. cant function

i dont have a definitive solution for art block, but whenever i do, i have a few ways to cope with it. sometimes they work, sometimes they dont? but whenever the time comes and im just sitting at a brick wall, i got some survival tips

1. come up with random silly ideas,, it could be anything: random words, phrases, scenarios. they can be as nonsensical as you want them to be. during art blocks, my mind is completely dry with ideas, so i always try to compile a list of ideas from the past so i can come back to them later on. i try to come up with random duos or something as simple as “mcdonalds date”. i might not work on these now, but maybe some random lil word can spark that creativity in me

heres my art ideas list… i have some ideas that are like 8 months old in there BGAHSGA, but i save em there till i feel like working on them

2. STRUGGLE DOODLES!! i like to make a bunch of doodles of random scenes that i think about in my head. doodle practically anything. your favorite person, favorite animal, something you see outside your window, frogs?

heres a few of mine. most of the time, i NEVER get to finishing them. however, during art blocks sometimes i like to go back to really old, incomplete guidelines and add some new, random addition to it. sometimes i forget what my sketches were exactly meant to be? and i guess thats the fun about interpreting stuff and giving things a new spin to them. during art blocks, i HATE trying to come up with new drawings from a blank canvas (since i dont even have any ideas to begin with). but working on old wips, or completely revising them? sometimes these can be super fun :]

[and bonus tip!! and this is like, a golden tip that everyone loves: going back to super old drawings and redrawing them!! its my favorite. i absolutely love seeing the improvement ive made over the years. its also pretty easy to work with since you dont have to stress about coming up with completely new ideas from a blank slate! GAHH i should do that more often.]

3. search up your favorite fanart, go on pinterest, anything. i love this one.

search up some really cool photos of outfits, aesthetic backgrounds?? i find myself searching up a lot of fanart of fandoms im in, any word with “aesthetic” at the end, casino aesthetic, anything! pinterest has always been my go-to platform to find ideas. i go on the app and not even a second in, im blown with all of this cool art n character designs. i have a problem saving almost everything i find into my boards, but at least i saved a chock-full of ideas i can work with. :)

a thing about me: ive never been the type to try and force my art block out. whenever im facing a block, its extremely difficult for me to come up with things on my own. sometimes i let it wait for a while, but that tends to take a REALLY long time. D: if i dont feel like drawing, or doodling, or really doing anything? i always like scrolling through really pretty photos. that tends to spark a small idea in me i can work with, and sometimes i manage to get out of art block from there. it starts out small, then over time it gets even better.

these photos especially gave me WAY more motivation than i ever had to draw wilbur during an art block moment. i started off making small random doodles of him in a neon city and over time it kinda turned into a fixation for neon cities. i LOVE imagining characters in random photos i find on pinterest.

wishing you the bestest in your art journey!! this crap’s tough but i know you can break it yo. thank you so much for the ask!

feel free to reblog and add your own ideas below :] i was only able to come up with a few, but if youd like to add on, go right ahead! /noforce

[purplehoodiesandclementines]

Helloooo, 1, 3, 7, 15 & 41 for the fanfic asks :)

Okay, I am SO late to this party! 🙈

Thank you @skibasyndrome for the lovely ask, and thank you @margotdanslebois for creating this beautiful game!

favorite fanfic of all time

I see, starting with the easy one, huh? No way I can only name one here, nope, no. There are so many fics that have left a permanent mark in my heart, but if I have to narrow it down to three I'd say:

Nothing to Fear by HeartStaaahp @retrievethekraken

All the places we've been by This_time_its_just_me @in-amor-veritas

Fuck The Monarchy by itsme_hi_imtheproblem @iwouldnevergetintofanfic

3. favorite « classic » fanfic you’ve read for the first time this year

I'll go and define "classic" as not necessarily one of the earliest, most popular fics in this fandom, but rather one that has (rightfully) turned viral and is just... legendary, epic, transforming an entire fandom. 💜 In that case: Obviously by @grapehyasynth

7. favorite chaptered fanfic

Okay, I'm finding this impossible to answer again (I'm taking this way too seriously, I know 😂), because the fics that stay most deeply with me are most often chaptered ones... So I'll give this a little twist and say:

Favorite fic with cute, short little chapters: Lilac Grove by wilmonlibrarian

Favorite fic with epic, long chapters: Unlabeled by elliotredleaves, escapethrustory, Human_lucia, leechunsa, littlefandom, Murtiara2008, Onelifetogive, paspeurpasseul, renrain18, simonscrown, Skydragon05, This_time_its_just_me, werevolche, willhelmyr, wilmonsrights, wonderfulwilmon, YourDemiurge

15. craziest AU you’ve read

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge comes to mind. It's got such a dark and drastically different feel to the show. Still gives me chills...

41. how do you choose the fic you read

Ha, if only I knew! I think in the beginning, I searched/sorted by most kudos, most hits etc. That's how I got introduced to some of the classic fics and those legendary writers... And then it kind of snowballed from there. By now I'm subscribed to about 100 authors and at least 150 other WIPs (though to be fair, a lot of them have been abandoned). Anyway, there often is a steady flow of new fics I am already invested in. I have a LONG Marked for Later list - which I barely ever check, because whenever I want to start a new fic, I tend to choose one from the 600+ open tabs on my phone browser (I wish I was kidding guys 😭 It's a problem). How those 600 tabs have gotten there? I do like to go through the Young Royals tag every once in a while, because there's amazing new fics coming out all the time by authors that have never posted before or that I've never known about, and I love discovering those, and giving some love and appreciation to those new fic writers.

[erikahenningsen]

3 & 28

3. how you feel about your current WIP

Currently I'm working on you would find her in a polaroid picture chapter 19 and I would love to be done with it! I'm down to the final few sentences and I will soon be free.

My secondary WIP is the untitled I Kissed Shara Wheeler fic that I add to whenever I have a bit of time but I still haven't actually gotten to any Chloe/Shara interactions which is so me lol. It's probably going to be a long one.

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Actually starting something is hard and I'll just stare at a blank document for a long time trying to figure out how to start—although I had the opposite problem where I knew how I wanted to start the IKSW fic but then had no idea what to do with the rest of it. I also find that parts where the main pairing aren't interacting tend to drag for me.

Fic writer asks

[kats-kradle]

Do you listen to music when you write?

3. Computer or pen and paper?

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

27. Favourite line/scene

36. Last sentence you wrote

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

45. How much world building do you do?

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Answer any one/combination of these that you'd like! I'd love to hear anything you want to share about your stories, friend :)

Thank you friend! 🥰

1. Do you listen to music when you write?  

For writing fanfiction, I don’t really listen to music unless it’s a song that inspired that fic. Then I listen to it in repeat😂😂 When I’m writing my own stuff I tend to listen to a few playlists on YouTube that are like “epic music for writing” or other various playlists that don’t have music with words. I’ve got a few I cycle through depending on the type of scene I’m writing.

3. Computer or pen and paper? 

For fanfiction, the notes app of my phone because I can just do it whenever. When I’m writing my own stuff I use my laptop because its easier for me to think bigger if that makes sense😂😂

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmmm I think the only habit/ritual I really have is that every other time I sit down to write I read through and tweak the last thing I wrote. I know that TECHNICALLY you’re not supposed to edit as you go but it just makes it so much tidier in my brain.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

Honestly if I could collaborate with anyone it would be my older sister. The biggest fan of our original writing is our younger sister and my older sister and I want to write her a story that has two of our characters interacting together (her two favorites). The problem is we can’t find time to plan it since my little sister is always in the house😂😂

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

Oooooo this one is actually tricky😂😂 I think for fanfiction I more enjoy playing around and pushing preexisting dynamics so I don’t think there’s a specific character right now. For my personal writing… oh boy my babies. So far I think it’s Quinn, the snarky and jovial sci-fi pilot/smuggler who’s moral compass points firmly towards money… until children are involved. He also has a British accent. Yes, it is important to his character. He’s one of those characters who feels things very deeply but tries to put on a facade about it. Absolutely delightful to write he’s here for a good time, not for a long time (much to the chagrin of his first officer and close friend whose self appointed job is keeping Quinn alive).

27. Favourite line/scene

Favorite scene I’ve written (this is cheating) is probably my fic Little Talks. It’s a Les Mis Jacert lives and is redeemed fic and it’s got so many good scenes in it that came out even better than I thought they would that I can’t pick one. 

36. Last sentence you wrote

Last line I wrote was from a WIP for Star Trek TNG. It’s a fic where Riker gets deaged by Q and it’s discovered that his father was abusive to him. Because that ep with his father… super dubious parenting and I think someone should address it so what’s fics for besides forcing people to address things? Also of those lowkey vent fics tbh😂

“What you deserved,” Picard said lowly, “was nothing but love from your father, and it pains me to hear that you believe you deserved such abuse from him.” 

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

I’ll give you the backstory for one of my side characters in one of my fantasy stories. His placeholder name is Romeo and he was like the equivalent of a medieval fantasy playboy. A true bard. He broke the heart of a sorceress and she cursed him to be nothing but a skeleton until he learned how to love selflessly. He is AWFUL and I love him. He’s just sour and feral all the time and regularly eggs people on the make bad decisions. Which is objectively hilarious coming from a skeleton.

45. How much world building do you do?

Before I start writing, I like to have done enough world building that I understand the general vibes and structure of the world. This looks different for every story tho tbh. One story I’ve been meticulously building for four years and another I made up as I went along. I guess it’s more accurate for me to say then that I do enough that I can understand the characters’ relationships with the world. I’m very much a “people” writer and focus on the characters more than anything else (like, unfortunately, the plot😭)

46. Do you reread your own stories?

Look at risk of sounding arrogant there are very few of my stories that I do not enjoy rereading, and it’s mostly just the ones I wrote when I was like 15. I am the target audience for all of my stories and I will unashamedly admit that I regularly go to my own AO3 page and read my own fics and go “that was a good one good job me”

Thank you for all the questions friend! Prepare your inbox 😈😈

ask game here

[halfbakedspuds]

Thanks to @honeybewrites for the tag

WIP Questionnaire tag

Rules: answer the following questions about a WIP!

I may as well do this for the Tempest Prince

What's the first part of your WIP that you created?

Probably the idea of the bloodmoon being responsible for beast activity ramping up. (not an actual bloodmoon, they just call it that because it looks like a second moon made out of churning blood that only the hunters can see)

If your story were a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

'kickstart my heart' by Mötley Crüe would work really well for this, but I think for the darker parts later on 'House of the rising sun' as covered by Ghost of Johnny Cash would work better with some lyric changes

What are your favourite characters that you've made? Why?

I have two:

Lifvinja Ravenscar was really interesting to write because of the whole psychology of someone who spent the first fifteen years of her life believing with good reason that she likely wouldn't live to see her twenties only to accidentally make herself immortal. The psychology of someone who feels isolated both because she'll outlive everyone and because her clockwork body makes her the outsider in any setting. Also her feelings towards her 'late' wife (I mean it's been a thousand years) and how it's shaped her life.

Eileen Snowsong only shows up much later, but I enjoyed writing her mostly because I relate with her more than any of the other characters (which says a lot given how much I relate with most of them). I can't say why I relate with her without spoilers, but part of the reason is her specific inner tug of war between what she feels is expected of her and who she really is.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Bloodborne definitely.

Probably Percy Jackson too but I'm not so sure about that one.

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Writing a series of this length is daunting.

Like, I have all 21 books roughly planned out (with the Jason, Alex, and Helga's story being five books long) but it's daunting trying to write it simply because it's such a massive undertaking, and trying to talk myself out of that fear has been my biggest constant struggle.

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

There are these things called Beasts, which are sort of like the universe's immune response to humanity. Whenever a creature is touched by the void (Usually during a bloodmoon) they mutate and disfigure into a beast, and it's around that point that they become the problem of the hunters. Humans are somewhat immune to this process, however that's how Demihumans are created and that's a story for another day.

It tends to be more concentrated around heavy population densities, so cities are the most commonly hit, and it got so bad in the area from Central to Southern Asia that the hunter vanguards in the area broke off to deal with it themselves because the hunter cities just did not have the manpower to give them adequate support

How do your characters travel/get around?

Most hunters use witchpowder lanterns to partially detach from reality and relocate to a different part of the world in a matter of seconds.

However, Jason and Alex have some upgrades from regular hunters.

Jason figured out pretty early on that he can literally ride the lightning and travel that way (which is a few minutes faster than lantern travel as long as he's not hopping from Antarctica to Northern Canada, Scandinavia or Russia.

Alex has portals, although he has passed out several times in the past from the exertion of keeping them open, so he doesn't like doing it.

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I have so much done in the first book, but two years on the introduction still refuses to click for me, so I guess trying to get it to work

What are your hopes for your WIP?

Mostly just that people enjoy it and that I don't fuck it up too badly.

Open tag for anyone who wants to hop on

[quitefair]

Fanfiction Writer Questions!

Was tagged by the very lovely @optiwashere some time ago, and I've only just had the chance to sit down and take a crack at this!

Not gonna tag anybody, but if you read this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

(Also this is talking about a lot of fics that I've written but not published because well... that's just how it's been lmao...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 at the moment. I’ve deleted a few things that I’m not entirely proud of/works that I’m planning on rewriting and improving upon.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

26,031 (my WIP folder has almost 100k words, if we want any comparison)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Dragon Age! Although AO3 is misleading… I’ve only got 7 fics on there for Dragon Age. But these don’t include the ones I’ve deleted and also the literal hundreds of WIP documents in my writing folder. It’s become quite a problem. I’ve also been writing for Baldur’s Gate 3 a bit more recently, but those fics are on hold because of lack of time/motivation/the fact I’ve not finished the game yet and want to do my research and understand characterisation and plot better.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. a lesson in grief (T-rated, Vi/Caitlyn from Arcane) 2. slip away (G-rated Gen-fic from Hades 2020) 3. Names (G-rated Fenris/Female Hawke from Dragon Age) 4. Anxious Grief (T-rated, Cassandra Pentaghast/Male Cadash from Dragon Age) 5. Fear and Forgiveness (G-rated, Dorian Pavus/Male Adaar from Dragon Age)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Every single comment I get is like fuel to my brain so I love and appreciate each one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think I did toy around with a fic where I left Hawke in the Fade. The process of getting into Fenris’ headspace during that was way too painful for me to continue.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics tend towards happy endings, even if they pack a lot of angst in the body of em. Of the ones I’ve got published, I’d say Names.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t, but then again I post so rarely and sporadically so people forget I even exist huhu.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

… Yes… (and that’s all im gonna say)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve not written crossovers per se, I’m more of an AU kinda guy. Though there’s definitely an ancient story I wrote back when I was like 13 that had like, every single bit of media I’d ever loved merged into one, and the excuse was that I’d just read His Dark Materials and wanted my own universe where everything I loved existed at once. COMPLETELY self-indulgent shit.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! At least not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Again no… I’ve not done a lot of stuff huhu!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

It’s the one and only. The girls that live rent free in my head. The girls that deserve everything. (It’s Josephine Montilyet/my Inquisitor from Dragon Age Inquisition)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It’s the Dragon Age Inquisition rewrite I’ve been complaining about for the longest time. It’s become the pet project I keep poking at whenever I have the energy to. All my Tashak/Josephine fics are set within this, and honestly at this point, instead of making one large fic, I might as well just post the disjointed chapters separately even if they don’t make sense. I’ve got WIPs in the folder from 2016. It’s out of control.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d like to think I’m good at descriptive writing, at drawing the reader into the scene and pulling them along with the story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m so bad at dialogue it’s not even funny. Also, my writing can tend towards too much rambling – I guess that’s just because it’s the way my brain works.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

The only other language I’m fluent in is Malay, and I really can’t imagine myself writing in that unless in very specific circumstances.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dang, I think it was probably for BIONICLE. Way back when I was like, in secondary school.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Published? Names. There’s stuff in there I still feel jealous of, even today. Unpublished – a bunch of stuff for Aforementioned Dragon Age Rewrite. I should really post stuff from there at some point LMAO…

[bigalockwood]

lia!! i could honestly pick like 20 of these but i'll limit myself to 2, 7 and 11 for the writing asks!! love <3

Tina!!!! Thanks for sending these <33333 sending all the love and hugs back <3333

2) Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I love reading enemies to lovers but whenever I come up with Wilmon stories, they fall hard and fast, no chance of them starting out as enemies. Outside of fanfiction writing I have no problem making characters hate each other but something about Wilmon... makes it impossible for me lmao.

7) Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

"A week of quiet disbelief and denial gave way to quiet and immobilizing grief.”

It took me a while to pick a snippet, because I have terrible memory and can never remember anything I've written. That line is from my next WIP and I think it conveys a lot of emotions with few words. I tend to write longass sentences and ramble on forever, so when I write short(ish) lines that hit the nail on the head I'm usually quite pleased with myself. (shoutout to "With a sinking sensation he realized that he’d been starring at people’s asses for roughly two hours now and it hadn’t even been fun or pleasant. What a waste of time." from Simon Eriksson hates breeches because I still think that line is funny as hell).

11) Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Both? I used to dream of becoming an author and wrote a lot of original, novel-length stories (all fantasy, by the way. my yr fanfics are my first forray into romance). But the older I become the less sure I am if I actually want to make something I love as much into something that also needs to earn me enough money to survive (plus it's a tough business to get into). So these days I'm happy keeping it as a fun hobby.

[lullaebies]

I tried to stop at one but I'm so curious 😅. I love your writing so I had to ask these (I love it if u answer all but no problems if you could answer just one ☺️)

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? (Throwback to whenever I felt sad at your writing lol)

the more the better, actually!! <3 thank you mydear! 6. oh yes, absolutely! they act like hyperfixations for me, I tend to have one fic I'm obsessed with at a time. My current favorite is A Heart for Any Fate by solitariusvirtus. such a thoughtful, gentle and atmospheric read on Aegon III and Jaehaera. Generally really rec the author too - they write so well! 18. My favorite lines.. omg. this one is tough since I write so much lol. But let's begin from where it all started. I'll go with a line I got from my first fic for Aegon, which would be Shields Tossed Aside.

“Lesser men cannot be mocked, brother,” Aegon says. His voice lowers, finds a dangerous tremble to it. “We wear our failures as armor.” - Aegon to Aemond, Chapter 2.

21. Yes, I have. I have deleted almost entire chapters actually - when I don't think a scene is good or satisfying and I feel like I'm ruining consistency in my story, I just can't keep things in. It bothers me. If I don't like it, it's getting cut, basically. 24. oh wow idk if I have a new mood board, hm. I'll put in two older ones for The Protector of The Realm These are character boards for M!Helaena and F!Aegon!

25. Yes, absolutely. Plenty of time I felt it is not good or nonsensical: I actually cried a lot when I wrote Shields Tossed Aside because of some things I wasn't happy be with, even though it is my most beloved fic it seems. I think that this comes with writing - you grow as a writer from experience, and than things you wrote previously just seem wack, lol. but feeling low with writing happens all the time, even in my new fics - it's just a part of the process. Fics are trial and error, truly.

[moemothra]

your style seems really cool but how come you only draw skinny characters? :(

Hi! You should prolly send these asks to my art blog next time rather than this one in the future but that’s ok I’ll answer it here, and actually I’m glad you asked this because I agree with you. I look at my galleries and I don’t like what I see.

This is probably going to be really long so I’m putting my full response under the cut

I do want to say that I only post an extremely small fraction of my art publicly, and I post to tumblr the least. And I also almost exclusively draw ocs (you can probably see that the only fan art I tend to make is of Gon and Killua) and I am even more guarded about posting my ocs online. My neocities is still a WIP and a lot of my ocs don’t have pages yet either.

THAT BEING SAID, I still don’t have enough fat characters, there are ocs that I am redesigning to be fatter and there are fat ocs from the past that need more attention from me. You’re right, skinny people dominate my galleries. I have recently come to this realization myself and I want to remedy it.

Also I’m not gonna lie, my art has stopped diversifying in pretty much every aspect.. I stopped doing backgrounds, I stopped doing dynamic poses, I stopped branching out and challenging myself. I actually consider myself a beginner now and I am very very very slowly relearning art and trying to rediscover my love for it. I have a really tumultuous history with art, and I don’t think it’s relevant to your ask for me to dive into it, but I just wanted to say that I am VERY AWARE of all my problems and shortcomings as an artist and I am working to fix them. Treating skinny people as the default is one of them!

I honestly don’t think any of what I wrote is a very satisfactory but I want to be as open and sincere as I can be. I used to be a much better artist than I am now, maybe not in technical skill but definitely creatively and as far as subject matter went. I’m not particularly happy with where I’m at now, but I am regaining my motivation to be better. I have a list of 2024 artist goals which includes trying to find a life drawing class and doing studies again.

And now for the sappy part, your ask is actually something I really needed to hear. I’ve spent a very long time believing no one cares what I draw either way, and that I can draw or not draw whatever I want because no one is looking. Your ask, even on the off chance that maybe it was sent in bad faith, is the first sign the someone actually does care, at least a little bit, and has noticed my art enough to be able to point out a glaring flaw. No one else has taken that much of an interest, positively or negatively, in an extremely long time and I didn’t realize how impactful feedback is until right this moment.

I would say keep an eye on my neocities, because i still avoid posting ocs to tumblr, so most of my art will probably end up there. or on sheezy whenever it comes back!

[outpost51]

I'm sending to you, for whenever you're in the mood to do another design game, my special little boy Dante~

There's not a lot of world building on my blog for this so I'll give you more of a rundown than before. His family basically owns an independent city state that is stuck between two much larger countries that really would love to go to war against each other but can't because the only way to get to each other's countries is through the city state. They are constantly trying to interfere to topple Dante's family from power so that they can gain control of this strategically important region.

His family is able to maintain control of the area because they have a lot of very powerful magic thanks to one of their ancestors doing some very questionable shit that has become a genetic curse on the family (meaning they are Very Slightly Not Human). But even though every member of the family has this magic it's still a curse that causes a lot of problems, and most of them will go through a specific surgery to get rid of it. They have strong general magic but specifically strong magic that has to do with sight (seeing the past and future, scrying long distances, and so on, which is how they keep an eye on both of their neighbors)

Naturally some of the family still has to keep it in order to retain control of the city state, and Dante is the current iteration. Due to his responsibilities and the consequences of this family curse he doesn't really get out much and he doesn't have a lot of friends. In general Dante is intelligent, gentle, and soft spoken. Since he is the one currently in this important position that takes up most of his time, he's held at a distance from his family and everyone else. He doesn't generally make a lot of demands on others but he struggles sometimes with loneliness. Hence when people do visit him he tends to get really excitable and he can be clingy with certain people.

He's actually an old middle school RP character of mine that I resurrected because I've always loved him so much hahaha

Want to play? Check TC's post here!

Okay but first of all, I love love love that you’ve kept him for so long — I’m actually resurrecting an old old WIP from middle school (albeit with major improvements to the plot and characters), so I’m always tickled when I see other folks doing the same. It’s like you’re showing me the ratty old teddy bear who’s sort of falling apart because it’s been loved for so long and I’m honored.

Now back to the Boy lmao

I LOVE SWEET SHY UPPER CLASS MAGE BOYS ugh i wanna wrap him in a blanket and give him soup. the picrew i wanted to use for this one (because it was GORGEOUS) has vanished, BUT this one is still alive and it worked out better because he's precious:

did i go standard mysterious and slightly introverted fantasy prince/noble? yes. yes i did.

thoughts? 🖤💜

[cafecitowriter]

FIC WRITER INTERVIEW

Tagged by @laviejaguardia thank you amiguita!!

tagging if they desire: @captainjimothycarter @behindthelabels @teaandatale

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

26

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

589,675 😳

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Should the Stars Align w 745

Aim for the Heart w 328

Flowers w 307

The Untamed w 264

My 6 Foot Romance w 193

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I definitely aim to! I've gotten worse at responding lately because I've been going through a lot lately but comments bring me so much joy and I love discussing my works with others so even if it's been a year I love to respond!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angsty/unhappy endings but I did write this drabble that is very angsty. For one of my longer fics, I would say in silent screams and wildest dreams just because while technically it ends well, I didn't perfectly tie things up.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Like all of them lol, but maybe Cherry on Top just because that one is a fluff fest from start to finish.

7. Do you write crossovers?

I've never written one and currently don't have the inclination to do so, but I'm definitely open to it if the muse ever strikes!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Like no outright hate, but some that have been filled with corrections on either grammar, spelling or that have told me my characterization was "incorrect" but like whatever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Like Lina said on hers, whenever the mood strikes and the kind depends on the mood lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of (and I hope it stays that way)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not but I'm totally open to it!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

The thing is, I have many long burning ships and the fire has never gone out on them. What If...? has really re-lit the Steggy flame, and the stuff I write is mostly all about them so they're always way up there, but I must give an honourable mention to The Doctor/Rose and also Percabeth is currently making a STRONG comeback at the moment.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay. So there's this Steggy fic. I started it years ago and I only have a few scenes written but it's definitely going to be a multi-chapter fic. The whole premise is that Steve is the only child of Queen Sarah, and Peggy is the prince's personal bodyguard. Problem is, Steve can't inherit the throne because it's a matriarchal line. When Queen Sarah has a health scare, she decides to take matters into her own hands and find her son a suitable wife and future queen so that her son can still maintain the throne in the event of her early passing. However, Peggy's not a fan of the options presented - for more than just the obvious reasons.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at characterization and getting their voices/dialogue pretty good!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Honestly I have to work really hard on my plots to make sure they're tight because very often there are holes in them or they don't tie up/flow as smoothly as much as I'd like. It's why I usually prefer to write the whole thing at once and then post it, because that way I can catch things/find my way out of the corners I tend to write myself into.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I enjoy it! I use multiple languages in my life. Though the characters I normally write for don't really use multiple languages so it's something I would like to find a way to incorporate more, maybe in other fandoms/works eventually.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Unposted Star Wars (Han/Leia), posted the MCU (Steggy)

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'm not burning for it at the moment (I'm struggling to get much writing done recently for my main fandom) but I do think at one point I'd like to write for Doctor Who, since I love reading for Nine/Rose & Ten (or Tentoo)/Rose it but there's some things I haven't found that I would like to write.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I do like all of my fics a lot, but I would say my top three in no particular order are:

Get In, Get Out (I'm very proud of my writing in this one)

The Untamed (I left a lot open as to what happens leading up to the very last scene of the fic and I want to keep exploring it sometime)

My Daughter's Keeper (I just adore this universe)

[yellowloid]

💫, 🎀, 💥, 💋, 💌 for the writing asks 🥰

thank you so much for the questions 🥰

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i love love love long comments where the reader just goes over a whole list of things that stuck with them while reading, little details, images, ways a character acted, something the characters said; i just absolutely adore hearing about what the reader felt while reading my fics, how a particularly angsty passage put them in their feelings, a very fluffy bit sent them giggling and smiling at the screen, or a smutty scene had them losing their mind skfjshsfh. i also love when people tell me they've got passages from my fics screenshotted on their phone or quoted in their journals, or when they tell me that something i wrote helped them smile when they were sad, or helped them through a difficult time, or simply managed to distract them from real life problems, even if just for a bit. i love knowing that my writing can have a positive impact on other people's lives, no matter how small it might be <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i think i'm pretty good at coming up with new images to express the kind of visceral love i write about whenever i write milex, both with the romantic and sexual aspect of it; i also think i do a good job at making the most of the more "aesthetic" part of writing - making sure my words and sentences not only make sense, but also "look good" together. i want my writing to sound as poetic and melodious as it can, that's really important to me and i tend to spend a lot of time trying to achieve that :)

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

my least kudos'd fic is the third and final part of my 'satin and lace' series, 'of loving at will, of loving till death'. my venice honeymoon fic <3 one that, in many ways, closed a chapter of my life that started back when i posted the first part of this series; if you know me, you also know how much this trilogy means to me. writing and posting the last part not only felt like a challenge, but also a quite emotional one sjfhshsjgh because i knew i'd miss those chaotic smitten husbands so much </3

despite it having less kudos than other fics of mine, i'm still really fond of this one. i made so much research for it - which now results in me knowing a whole lot of random trivia about venice - and i'm very satisfied with how realistic and accurate the descriptions of the city turned out, as well as the way they mixed with the expression of their love, the romance and drama of it all... plus i went on vacation this summer and spent a day in venice (i'd visited once when i was a kid but didn't remember much) and it just meant so much to me, visiting that city now that it holds a whole new and special meaning to me <3 it felt so !!!! walking around those sunny alleys and crossing all those bridges over the canals, imagining miles and alex doing the same, hand in hand, disgustingly in love with each other. it was just so magical and special - and i think that fic really captures the spirit of venice as a whole 💙💜

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

absolutely!! i think it's not only ao3 etiquette, but also like... the whole point of it? if i leave a comment it's because i want the author to know i loved their work, and if they never reply i feel like a. they secretly hate me or smth or b. they haven't seen my comment and now they won't know i loved their fic!!!!! when i know damn well that they don't hate me and they also most likely saw the comment and appreciated it, but just didn't reply for whatever reason. some people don't reply to comments and that's okay skfjshfhs but i certainly do in most cases and i definitely want to hear back from other writers when i leave one myself!!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

okay okay so. this is all assuming i don't have a mental breakdown over it and drop it lmao but basically. it's a long-fic. two and a half chapters are already written. it's very angsty and alex is a stupid self-loathing idiot in it (<3). their performance of 'last night i dreamt' by the smiths @ alexandra palace is an out of context spoiler for it. that's all i can say without getting into spoilery details and/or giving away the whole premise of it gkskfjsdhgk