#i taught myself when i started out

[brendering]

If people don't like games with rules or that require reading that's totally fair, but then why play DnD, a game with literal textbooks? I don't get it! If they want DnD with no rules, that's just RP! Why not just join an RP server instead? Or read a book or play a video game? Why play a cooperative game if they're not interested in cooperating? Having a player like that in a game can seriously drain the rest of the table, and I don't think that's equitable. To clarify: I don't mean people who need accommodation or can't get up to speed for some reason (just communicate about that and it's a-ok imo!), I mean people who don't even want to learn and expect everyone else to do the work for them.

DnD is kind of like piano: you technically don't need to know anything about it to 'play' it, but you have to put in some practice and effort to play well. No one's saying you have to be a pro, but if you put zero effort into learning or practicing, it's not fair to then show up the day of the concert and expect the conductor or the violin player to do all the work to teach you on the spot. And no matter how good the rest of the orchestra is, you pecking random notes due to willful ignorance WILL ruin what the cello, the clarinet, and others are trying to play. If you think it's fine to ruin the concert for everyone purely because you don't want to put in any effort, that's just not cool.

In DnD, when you won't at least attempt to learn the basic rules, you dump a lot of extra work on the DM--who already has the most work behind the scenes, even at experienced tables--and you also trip up and/or add labor for the other players at the table. For example, imagine your party encounters a dangerous monster and the player right before you puts it to Sleep. Great! That player succeeded on a cool spell and the whole party is now safe for a bit. But then on your turn you attack the monster, which ends the spell and it wakes up. Not great. You've completely wasted that player's spell (which is not fun for that player) and you've put your whole group into danger again, because you didn't know that some spells (like Sleep) end when the target takes damage.

And don't get me wrong: mistakes like these will happen to even the most well-meaning new players and that's ok! I don't think experienced players should get mad (nor should new players feel bad) about honest newbie mistakes! It's also great when DMs give new players the option of 'that will [consequence], do you still want to do it?' to help avoid making honest mistakes like that.

But if you're still stepping on your fellow players like this for years purely because you refuse to learn any rules or put in any effort, that's just selfish imo. If you're holding up combat at level 10 because you never bothered to learn the spell you got at level 2, or if you won't let the rogue pick locks because you don't know about classes (or because you just want to do everything yourself), etc. that's not cool. Sorry but if you think it's fair that everyone else in your group has a worse time and should have to put in extra effort just so you don't have to put in any effort, you're selfish! And selfish people probably aren't going to fit in well at a cooperative game like DnD. It's not cool to demand work from others that you refuse to do yourself.

And again, no one is a pro on day one and that's fine! But thinking your time or your fun is more important than everyone else's combined isn't. That's so entitled.

For any new players, here are some resources and tips to get you up to speed!

Learn about characters' classes! Knowing what your character is best at/built for will help avoid 'Main Character Syndrome' (where a player ends up hogging the spotlight). Knowing a bit about your fellow players' classes helps make space for cool character moments for them (ex: asking the Wizard to Identify a magic item you picked up). It's easier to know which tool is right for the job if you're more familiar with the tools! Here's a 6 minute video that briefly explains the most common classes!

If you want a super-fast, very humorous overview of each class, you can watch the much-loved A Crap Guide To DnD series:

Here's a playlist that goes into more depth about each class. These videos include the role the class usually plays within a party dynamic (ex: your Bard or Sorcerer might be the party 'Face' because of their charisma, your Barbarian is the Tank in battle, etc.).

Within each class, there's also a subclass (if class is a food, subclass is a flavor). There are tonssss of subclasses, so if your subclass isn't covered in the playlist above, definitely look for YouTube or TikTok videos on your specific subclass!

Look up some good and bad player habits! This will help avoid common mistakes, and help you be respectful of your DM and fellow players. Here's a selection of those tips:

Try to learn about the game norms and game rules/mechanics in general! It's totally understandable to not know everything (even pro DMs have to look stuff up), and you'll learn more as you get more experienced, but the more you know the less your DM and fellow players will have to do for you. Knowing more about the rules will also help keep combat moving, keep you from accidentally breaking something another player is doing, etc. Here's Handbooker Helper, a set of short animated vids aimed at teaching new players some basics.

The Ability Checks one is particularly handy since skills vs skill checks vs saving throws vs proficiencies can be confusing!

Here are some other videos with some beginner tips, basic rules, and common game mechanic mistakes.

I think an important part of the "D&D is easy to learn" argument is that a lot of those people don't actually know how to play D&D. They know they need to roll a d20 and add some numbers and sometimes they need to roll another type of die for damage. A part of it is the culture of basically fucking around and letting the GM sort it out. Players don't actually feel the need to learn the rules.

Now I don't think the above actually counts as knowing the rules. D&D is a relatively crunchy game that actually rewards system mastery and actually learning how to play D&D well, as in to make mechanically informed tactical decisions and utilizing the mechanics to your advantage, is actually a skill that needs to be learned and cultivated. None of that is to say that you need to be a perfectly tuned CharOp machine to know how to play D&D. But to actually start to make the sorts of decisions D&D as a game rewards you kind of need to know the rules.

And like, a lot of people don't seem to know the rules. They know how to play D&D in the most abstract sense of knowing that they need to say things and sometimes the person scowling at them from behind the screen will ask them to roll a die. But that's hardly engaging with the mechanics of the game, like the actual game part.

And to paraphrase @prokopetz this also contributes to the impression that other games are hard to learn: because a lot of other games don't have the same culture of play of D&D so like instead of letting new players coast by with a shallow understanding of the rules and letting the GM do all the work, they ask players to start making mechanically informed decisions right away. Sure, it can suck for onboarding, but learning from your mistakes can often be a great way to learn.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

*posts this and runs away. i trip and fall into an open manhole, dying instantly*

[checanty]

Lol. I rarely check Facebook comments and just found out some guy has been doing some serious trolling under one of my posts (the words 'I want you to suffer' may have been typed), including getting increasingly pissed about how I wasn't responding to said trolling. Also, somebody has been reporting all my current Instagram posts for stuff, which is fine as I wasn't breaking any rules and the content moderators agree, but now I'm wondering whether this is connected. And then I'm wondering if this is an emotionally abusive ex-client having a meltdown. If so, I'm sorry dude, you've already thickened my skin. This can't shake me anymore. (also going semi-viral on Twitter. Best way of realizing people's behaviour is mostly about them and not about you)

[lewmagoo]

nothing like a 12 am spiral over religious trauma lol

[cosmogyros]

Spent all day cleaning like a motherFUCKER and I feel very proud of myself.

- dusted everywhere

- vacuumed the bedroom, living room, kitchen, and hall

- sorted and put away a shit ton of Random Stuff

- cleaned all the windows

- cleaned up the sofa

- put away all the shoes I need to sell in a box

- took out the recycling

- washed the dishes

- and what I'm most proud of: I climbed up on the extremely, unnervingly high and wobbly wooden construction that my former roommate built (so that she could have her bed up on a platform just below the ceiling, while the sofa and sofa table are directly below it), crawled across it while saying my prayers, and figured out how the curtain racks worked so I could carefully unscrew them and remove the giant ugly dusty curtains that I've been wanting to get rid of for years

The only bad part of the day was that I then tried to wash the huge dusty curtains and I used too much detergent out of enthusiasm and ebullience, so my washing machine overflowed 🙃

(not badly, but there was a lot of very hot dirty water to soak up, using all my towels, because I don't have a wet vac)

I'm nervous to try running the machine again, but I guess I have to... wish me luck please 😬

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao

[send-me-a-puffalope]

why did my teachers think it was okay to give us like one single weekend to finish all of our midterm projects and study for our tests.

[dredshirtroberts]

it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such

[academicgangster]

Dad: your mom used to yell at me for never teaching you how to ride a bike or swim or drive or play lawn tennis

Me: well we made attempts at some of those things and for the others I was too busy trying not to drown in my own lungs

Dad: i guess

[giantkillerjack]

It helps me to think about caring for myself like I think about caring for a child.

Like, 'yes, I know you feel fine, but I think you've watched enough scary things before bed. Let's watch something nice now, okay?'

[quietstime]

🧋

[wishful-seeker]

Im sooo happy im on physical therapy again

Toned legs and less pain here i come!

[twilit-tragedy]

god fucking damn my life, bro. I find a couple of ants in my room and immediately freak out. I start feeling shit crawling on me and turn on a flashlight to go look for some hidden source, already hyperventilating. And then I remember I woke up late and didn't take my morning meds. Girl, we have a balcony and my mom keeps plants there. Calm the fuck down. You like having the window open. It's FINE. It's just ants.

Last weekend I skipped my morning meds two days in a row cuz I woke up late and I feared sertraline insomnia - which, yes, in hindsight was a bad idea - and on Sunday I had a full meltdown. Granted, also period-related, but god fucking damn it. I tore my whole room apart. I couldn't vacuum under my bed easily because of my desk's placement so I decided I was going to move furniture around and reorganize my room. On a Sunday afternoon, in the summer and with tendonitis. All cuz I saw some ants and couldn't verify with my own two eyes every corner of the room. And because I couldn't physically move the wardrobe and bookcase, I guess I took out my anxiety with the remaining furniture. And god fucking damn it, here I am again a week later.

I keep finding ants (3) running on my desk all of a sudden while I'm SITTING THERE and have no idea ("no idea") where they're coming from (engage the phone flashlight routine). I moved this bitch AWAY from the window and they're fucking HUNTING me or smth (it's 35ºC out, girl). I hate my life. And I hate that any suggestion of bugs makes me start feeling shit on my skin that isn't there. Dumb fucking brain. Anyway I need sleep and to take my sertraline asap or else.

[nerdie-faerie]

Having a complicated relationship with your mum is so confusing. It's the knowledge that she taught me the best way to make gravy, how tie my shoes and how to make my bed. But she's also the one that made disparaging comments about my body growing up and is part of the reason I don't want to be a parent myself and why I moved across the country for uni. But she's still my mum and I still find myself wishing I could seek comfort from her when things get a little too hard but the mum I'm longing for doesn't really exist. And I see her in the colour of my eyes and in the way I grit my teeth when I'm angry. She taught me how to do my hair and how to cover up bruises. She's a part of me in all the good and the bad. And there's no way to say you hate someone that doesn't also acknowledge all the good because nothings as ever as black and white as that

[maaaxx]

11 & 19 for the ask game ❤

ask game :)

11 has already been answered here

-

19. "Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?":

Short answer:

From the time I could vaguely write I was writing "books" (or as much of a book a child that young can make)

I entered my first writing contest when I was 9 or 10 and I got 5th place in my school

A year later I started my first major wip that got me invested into writing as a hobby

A year after that I started another wip that most of my current wips are branches off of and also started posting bits and pieces on wattpad

When I was 14 I had my writing skills tested for early college admission and scored in the top 5 percent in my state (still very proud of this)

Entered and won a couple writing competitions besides that stopped writnig

Then a couple years later I started writing fanfiction

Currently pondering working towards actually publishing some books one day.

Long answer under the cut :)

I remember making "books" since I could write. Like I would staple paper together and I remember one specifically that had something to do with sea horses but i dont remember the plot.

My mom has boxes filled of these "books" with all of the words and even my name misspelled and poorly illustrated characters and stuff.

When I was in like 4th grade (9-10 years old) my teacher had an assignment to where we made up a story and applied whatever type of literary technique we were learning about that week to it. So like if we were learning about similes the assignment would be come up with 5 sentences that include similes that pertain to your story and include one or something like that. At the end of the year we were supposed to have 4-5 pages of this story. I think I finished with like 10-12 or something like that. She made me summarize it 💀

If I remember right I think that my story was about this set of twins where one was born with some type of super power that only the other twin knew about and the superpowered twin got kidnapped by some scientists that wanted to expirement on her and my story followed the other twin and this like 12 year old girl dedicating her teenagehood to finding the lost twin. I think I made it so the dad actually ended up hiring the kidnapper and the dad and kidnapper both got arrested. I want to find this again because I dont remember a lot about it.

That same year my teacher ended up having me enter a poetry contest and I think it was a tri-county thing. I didn;t like poetry (I still hate writing it, love reading it though) so I half assed it and I think I got within the top 5 (??) of my school. (just elementary school) so that was neat.

(This specific teacher was one of those really strict teachers that no one else liked but my little undiagnosed autistic self LOVED her because i always knew what to expect yk?? but is also the one who really got me into reading and writing and stuff and I dont think I'll ever not me extremely grateful for her)

The next year I started forming this one wip. Its definetly my longest and most elaborate and sentimental one because it opened so many different doors for me.

There was no plot but it pretty much followed this group of like 20 teenagers that had very different lives and were all really traumatized and during the "story" they're all like 15-18 trying to figure out how to move on from their childhoods and maintain healthy relationships with eachother and their individual support systems.

Some of them are neurodivergent and some of their stories are centered around that.

One of the characters name is Jack. Jack is bipolar and so is his mom and so because of his moms mental illnesses and stuff he was in and out of fostercare from like 5-13. Hes probably the 'main' character in this.

Hes also went deaf from a tmi from when he was like 9.

Then theres Allison who is autistic and she is your stereotypical 'gifted kid burnout' 'graduated at like 15' type of autistic. but this leads to a lot of issues with her and her main thing is kind of working through that.

Travis comes from a VERY religious (almost cultish) family and is develops schizophrenia at like 16 I think and he's also pansexual and his parents go through his phone and find some texts from his partner and kick him out so hes homeless and has to deal with that.

But like I said theres like 17 more of these characters and its very elaborate. It goes into the parents childhoods and deals with generational trauma and how mental illness can affect parenting.

The 'story' mostly follows Jack and Allison (theyre love interests) and everything is kind of through their pov and their relationships with the other characters and stuff.

But like 11 year old me started writing this out in composition books and between then and when I turned 15 ish and got a computer, I filled I think close to 30 composition books with this story.

But I started researching mental disorders and stuff for this story so I could make their stuff as realistic as possible and that kickstarted my spin on psychology, which led to me wanting to be a social worker which is my major. It also meant that I was really ahead in also my psyche classes. Im *technically* going into my 5th year of college and I started taking psyche classes my second year and I didnt start getting into stuff that I didn't know until the year that just ended so 11 year old me really knew what she was doing.

I remember making my mom buy me textbooks and those articles that are behind a paywall for birthdays and Christmas's

I'm getting off track

A year or two after that I started developing this other wip with kids with superpowers and there was a whole lot of worldbuilding and stuff to this one and its what got me into fantasy which is the main genre I write outside of fanfic. (my hecles wip is loosely based on this one)

(part of this one is on wattpad somewhere)

When I was 14 I took a test that determined whether or not I would be able to start college early and part of this test was writing skills. There was a fiction and a nonfiction portion and then they combined those two scores and averaged them out and my score was in the 95th percentile (top 5 percent) of everyone who takes the test (so on average like 17-19 year olds usually and then some outliers) so I see that as one of my biggest writing achievments.

(i scored shit on the math and reading comprehension portions though)

I stopped writing and stuff for like two years besides entering writing contests.

I've entered like 5 and won 2. One was tri-county and I got first place and the other one was a little bigger but it wasnt a state contest, I think it might have been regional but I got third place. I consider those both big accomplishments too.

And then when I was 17 I started writing fanfiction.

I think fanfiction is what actually got it in my head that maybe I could write an actual book one day. Like before I just saw it as like a hobby because I was scared of the commitment of writing a whole book but ive written almost 200,000 words of one of my fanfics and it wasn't that overwhelming and I think that usually a decent sized novel so why not give it a try?

Idk if that answered the question or if I got TOO off track but oh well :)

[noxtivagus]

i'll read more from now on again