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fantasysamsclub · 5 years ago

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so the adventure zone was recently picked up for an animated series.

hooray! good for the mcelroys. i’m glad they’re getting more mainstream. i’m glad they’re able to financially support themselves and their family with this fame. i’m glad taz has a chance to get new fans! i’m glad fans get to see some of the most iconic balance moments animated!

i also think it’s a monstrously bad idea.

(this is long and this may seem pretty mean and radical, but please read before fighting me on any of this. also this isn’t an attack on anyone that’s excited for any of this adaptation stuff! it’s good to be excited for this success. but also there are some things to consider.)

okay! so, up front: i think the taz animated series is a bad idea. i also think, retrospectively, the graphic novel was a bad idea. also i think the vox machina origins comic and animated series are bad ideas.

okay so this is going to get. a little long and rambly. but i’ll try to keep it organized.

1. TAZ Graphic Novel

now, when the first book was announced, i was excited! i’m still excited for the next one. aside from the blue/green elves thing, which i won’t ever forgive, carey’s doing a great job adapting this piece. i’ve met her before and she generally does know what she’s talking about, comics-wise, so i do think she was a very good choice to pick up the graphic novel

there are still problems! oh, are there problems. for example, i think everyone in the novel is characterized in a wildly different way than the original podcast. i can also get into this later if people want to hear about it, but! people have picked at that one before.

out of all the adaptations i’m going to talk about, this one is the best!

2. Vox Machina Origins

alright. context. i don’t know if i’ve said this on this platform before, but i’m a comic book artist (my big project is coming out this year, i’ll announce it on here, that’s not the point of this rant). and i bought the comic on a whim! it was a christmas present to me.

now, i know a lot of people read it and enjoyed it! and that’s great. i’m happy you got joy out of the book, really. i think every piece of art means something to someone, no matter its popularity or quality. and it did well, as far as i know! so that’s very good for CR and its fans. also i think pike is hot.

all that aside, the comic does suck very much.

i could go into a deep analysis of it (i CAN, if enough people actually want to see that?) but tldr: it’s rushed, both in production and story pacing. the character art is good! but you can see the shortcuts. the lettering is. awful. (that’s mostly a problem of modern comics in general though)

and i’m not blaming anyone at CR for these problems! really, if dark horse wants to pick up an adaptation, any writers from the original project should be heavily coached on how to write for a new medium. i’m not blaming matthew for that one! i know from firsthand experience that comic writing is different from anything else you will ever write, and is so difficult to get correct. as far as i knew, matt had never written for comics before! it would be really nice if he had some more resources to get this done right.

but that would cost money.

and that brings me to--

3. The Vox Machina Animated Series

wow! look at all that money everyone raised for this animated series. this animated series that the creators said they were raising money for so they could do it independently. hope they don’t go pitch it to a bigger company to do m--

and, it was sold to Amazon.

like, it didn’t even take them a month.

and in the current climate of how animation is bought and sold, i understand the need to sell it to a streaming service! you need a platform to let people view it, and youtube is in the shitter with its copyright stuff lately, so it makes sense to go private to keep your show safe. and then, you can maybe make more episodes after you run out of kickstarter money. i don’t hate that idea!

but amazon...hm.

it’s probably fine, right?

3.5. Wendy’s

haha remember when CR got sponsored by wendy’s and played their shitty rpg that wasn’t even balanced properly and then people called them out for it and then they donated all the money to a cause wendy’s hated to make up for it (good on them!) and then deleted the VOD off youtube? gosh, good times.

money makes people do strange things.

4. TAZ Animated Series

so, peacock has taz. sure! that works. it’s not the best company to pick this up, but it’s also not the worst. i’ll take that. i looked up the guy that’s slated to direct this and i don’t think he’s ever directed an animated show? which isn’t great, but that’s not what i’m worried about.

you know what i am worried about?

these big corporations don’t care if these adaptations are any good. they just want to cram as many iconic moments from your quirky, small-owned d&d podcasts to get you to give them money. for the mcelroys and the CR crew, it’s a passion project. to amazon and dark horse and NBC, it’s an investment.

you’re going to buy the book to see vax and vex bicker!

you’re going to tune in to watch magic brian!

you’re going to want to read pike meeting scanlan, of course!

you want to see “phantasmal and resplendent” animated!

here’s the other thing. when i see people talking about the animated series, this is exactly what they’re looking for.

“i want to watch merle dirty talk the plants on screen!”

“i want to see the taakitz date!”

“i want to see magnus do the julia scene...”

now, this mindset isn’t bad! no, if you’ve been thinking this, that’s okay! it’s really not my personal thought (i think adaptations are best when they DO change things in the story to better fit the new medium they’re going on) but it’s fine.

we might get tom arnold!

but you know what we’re not going to get?

we’re not going to get apologies and revisions when something goes wrong. we’re not going to get cute extra scenes because that would require more writing. we’re not going to get the same respect for the LGBTQ+ characters on screen. the people working on this show will not get paid what they’re worth.

we’re probably not going to get a trans actress for lup.

we’re probably going to see less of carey and killain.

we’re probably going to see even fewer black and brown characters than we already have.

why’s that?

because it’s a money project. they’re doing it for money. and they want to reach as wide of an audience as possible, right? “really, we need to cut back on this gay stuff so that straight people aren’t uncomfortable. we need to stay more moderate on this project so that more people will watch it!”

(that was sarcasm)

now, NBC has had some good shows! but that’s really the responsibility of their individual writers, and it’s usually in spite of the companies they work for, and not because of them.

once an author or an artist sells their project to a company for adaptation, they often lose all rights to input from it. i don’t know what the mcelroy’s or CR’s contracts are, but unless they have better lawyers than NBC or amazon.....they probably got shafted somehow.

it’s not a mcelroy product. it’s not a CR product. don’t pretend like it is.

you can enjoy it, but please be cautious. this is just a pile of money in a cheap taako costume. don’t trust it as much as you would the podcast.

tldr: individual creators are always going to make more genuine content than corporations that buy those creations for larger adaptations. it’s okay to enjoy these adaptations, but please be aware that it’s not going to have the same spirit or heart as the boys talking about masturbation on a filler show they did quickly so justin could go support his wife in labor.

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz animated

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vohalika · 6 years ago

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hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey.

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

#critical role #cr #cr1 #vex'ahlia #lady vex'ahlia de rolo #is better than you #deserved better from the narrative #will forever be my favorite character probably #will forever be part of my ultimate OTP #we do not deserve her #we are unworthy #long post #long post for ts

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girlobsessed21 · 6 years ago

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The 100 - 6x04: The face behind the glass review and predictions.

Before we get into the specifics, I’m a little scared of the rehashing of old narratives that comes to surface in this episode especially. Not sure how I feel about all the parallels. In my trailer analysis, I did point out the fact that it does not seem that much different than previous seasons: There are no good guys, we kill them so that we can live and blah, blah, blah. Even so, I’m interested and invested to see what types of unique twists and turns this story will throw at us. Jason Rothenberg, you better not disappoint.

The face behind the glass written by Charmaine DeGrate and directed by Tim Scanlan, who is known for directing the sex scenes on the show. Dead giveaway. Not my favorite so far, but a lot of things happened that has me excited for the rest of the season.

Is there a better way to open an episode than Diyoza joking with her unborn child? It’s no secret she’s in my top 5 favorite characters and keeps climbing the charts. So, the Sanctumites offer her a deal: Save Rose and we’ll take care of your baby, which she takes, to offer her child a life and it’s something to do other than trying to survive. But in known Diyoza fashion on condition of a gun and a bike.

Then, Simone begs Russel to cancel naming day on account of spies inside the compund. They’ve already been deprived of three primes (Kaylee’s family) and Rose. Pushing them towards extinction at an alarming rate and it once again becomes obvious that Clarke will become Josephine, yet I’m now intrigued by Madi. The cultish way in which these people worship the primes are uncanny and wayward. But then again all cults are weird. I don’t believe in the divinity of the primes either.

Russel disagrees by saying: “If we cancel, Gabriel wins.” Last week I thought that Gabriel will be brought back to life in one of the hosts, but I think there’s something else going on there. It’s clear now that Gabriel and his children are against the revival of the primes, bringing about the question: How has he survived all these years?

Priya and Jordan share some sweet intimate moments where he tells her he feels guilty for becoming another taunting face behind the glass. Which was necessary to show he’s still grieving his parents even while having fun. Her referral to this line later before she becomes a prime is crucial though, meaning there might be a possibility for her to come back.

The four pillars of Sanctum: Repent, Renew, Rejoice, Rebirth. Accentuating rebirth very literally. We know from episode two that Russel Lightbourne does not believe in God, but by killing a person for no reason other than so that someone you love can live is playing god in the cruelest way imaginable.

Embracing their traditions, Clarke decides to repent for her sins. She tries to apologize to Raven who won’t have any of it and compares her to Octavia. For me, the biggest difference between Clarke and Octavia is the remorse she feels. She knows what she did was wrong and she’s trying to make up for it. Therefore she deserves forgiveness. I wonder how Raven will react to Clarke’s death?

Gabriel? Who the f#@k are Gabriel and his children?

As I said earlier, the old man is definitely Gabriel. We don’t know if he’s dead or alive. It can’t be that he lives within a computer because then his existence would be known.

My guess is the split within Sanctum came recently (using the term loosely). Gabriel had to be one of the 12 primes since he came with them and his blood was also altered. Meaning his conscience was also transferred into a host. He was against the hostile takeover of innocent bodies and decided to rebel by saving the hosts.

If this happened sixty odd years ago, Gabriel could still be alive somewhere (perhaps in hiding due to a failed conviction) and old. Very, very old. I’m not sure whether his followers are literally his children or just those that have sided with him, but either way, they want to continue his cause. Which they’ve clearly lost sight of. Save the hosts, don’t kill them.

Or this anomaly they mentioned somehow extends life, only it’s dangerous. Who knows, I’m a bit boggled here.

Xavier purposefully left his bag out to save Octavia and Rose. I’m sure I’ve seen this before. Right, Lincoln kidnapped her and saved her simultaneously. I know this is such a retelling of their story, but I loved Linctavia and thus cannot help boarding this ship.

Another season one throwback to Bellamy and Charlotte. But I think I’ve voiced my concerns about these. Poor, poor Rose. That scene was heartbreaking.

Boy oh boy Bellarke and their romances

Clarke apologizes to Bellamy and states her reasons even though Bellamy has already forgiven her because he would be a hypocrite not to. And they share what has now become known as a Bellarke hug since it’s all these idiots can ever do.

Clarke hooks up with Cillian (who turns out to be the spy) within two seconds, now I’m not sure about you, but I rolled my eyes. Oh, cute, Clarke has yet another lover added to her long list of previous ones. Finn, Niyalah, Lexa, and Bellamy always on the side. I’m glad it’s a guy though to showcase that she is indeed bisexual and not gay. Bisexuality really needs some appreciation.

No one can tell if Bellamy was only upset with the party as he stated or Clarke having fun with some random dude. Most will say it’s the former and it probably is, yet it’s filmed in a different way. Why did they put him in this scene in the first place?

When he sees her having fun, he smiles, he’s happy for her. Then the doctor’s all over her and all of a sudden his attitude changes. I don’t want to read too much into it since I had to watch it like six times to draw this conclusion.

He’s hurt and grieving over a lot of things, especially his sister and then he witnesses his “platonic soulmate” in the arms of another man. She’s always known exactly how to get him to open up, what to say to make him feel better and even though he knows he’s not allowed to feel that way, he’s jealous, he realizes he still needs her.

And that spurs the single tear and his fight with Echo. He even spares another glance over his shoulder when she asks what’s wrong. Or was that just random? Because once he’s calmed down he apologizes to his girlfriend and comforts her when she tells him her backstory after six years of being lied to.

I felt for Echo, her life wasn’t easy, but none of their lives were. Honestly, I just can’t find Becho’s connection. Even though I try, because at some point we have to accept the fact that this is possibly a long term pairing. I’ve made my peace, I’ll ignore them. Give Echo an individual storyline and I might just start liking her more.

A Red Queen and a terrorist walk into a bar

First of all, I have to show my gratitude for the glimpses of Octavia’s humanity. She’s in there and she’s slowly swimming to the top. That thorned rose is blossoming once again, thank you, Bellamy, for your part in this.

This is a weapon of mass destruction if I’ve ever seen one. A pregnant terrorist and a former evil queen. Yes, this is what I’m talking about. I might just write fanfiction about it.

“The devils of earth become the heroes of Sanctum.” They’re set out to kill Gabriel, but I doubt that will occur. From all I’ve heard, he’s good. Enhanced by Cillian’s words: “There are two sides to every story.” So, they will most likely join forces against Sanctum in some way. Hopefully not blowing up another planet. Please do something interesting here.

Josephine!Clarke

Okay, my first take on Josephine Ada Lightbourne was very wrong. To me, she seemed smart, funny and confident. Now she looks like the devil in disguise (No pun intended.)

Reverting back to my earlier assumption about Delilah/Priya. It’s evident that Delilah no longer exists within her body which sets Jordan on edge. But that small statement along with knowing the mind of the host is erased but the brain is unharmed propels me to believe they can come back. Somehow. Hopefully.

Simone says, “I’ll prep for insertion, you clear the host.” Did that mean Clarke’s mind might be stored in some device too? They must have a way of extracting consciousness to transfer it to a host. Thus Clarke Griffin’s mind will be backed up somewhere as well. Not for too long before it’s disposed of, I’m sure.

Come on Madi (Lexa and Becca), Bellamy, Abby, Jordan, Raven, Murphy. You have to figure this out and bring her back before its too late. I refuse to believe Princess Clarke is dead. If she is, my mind is blown in a bullet to the brain kind of way.

One scenario is that Josephine will have to give forth a ruse of being Clarke and willingly accept the “honor” of becoming a prime. She’s been indulging in all their other conventions, why not this one, right? But Jordan now knows what happened to Delilah, so they will try to stop her. Most likely Madi or Bellamy will notice a difference within her.

The dangerous alternative will be for Josephine to simply embrace her new host by saying they brought her to life after Cillian murdered her. Sanctumites, you have no idea how much Clarke’s people care about her. This might even sway those currently mad at her for an investigation.

A few last things

Russel does feel bad about what he’s doing, but so did Dante Wallace.

Raven and Wick (Sorry the other mechanic) what is that? Five minutes after Shaw’s death. Or was it only the motorcycle. Why does this show give us seedlings of relationships that will have no chance of growing?

Is Shadeheda Cadogen and what will he bring to the table?

Madi tasting her first cookie was awesome!

I missed Murphy this episode. His presence is required at all times.

What will happen to Niylah on the ship? And when will Indra make her appearance?

Will Russel and Simone find out that Abby knows how to create nightblood?

Let me know what you think.

#The 100 #the100 #the 100 season 6 #The 100 s6 #the1006x04 #the 100 season six #the 100 6x04 #the100 6x04 #the100 6x04 review

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bloodyshadow1 · 6 years ago

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Nature V NatureBlog:ModernAu

So this is my submission for day 4 critrole femslash week, prompt Alternate Universe. I choose to do a modern au with a vlogger/social media because when I started it I read a few and thought they were neat. Hope you enjoy, read, review, comment, reblog, they really mean more than you’d think when writing stuff like this.

“Oh sweet Pelor, she posted another freaking video,” Vex’ahlia ‘Vex’ Vessar screamed at her brother Vax’ildan, or Vax for pretty much anyone who had ever talked to him.

“Who my dear sweet even-tempered sister,” Vax asked half amused half mocking. He already knew who Vex was throwing her latest hissy fit over, she had been throwing tantrums over the other half-elf for months. It wasn’t fair, there was such a huge storm in Emon last week the meant she wasn’t able to go out and hike like she normally did which meant she hadn’t been able to film a new video. It also meant that she hadn’t been able to visit her sweet baby boy Trinket either and that was even worse. Maybe it was making her cranky, but she wouldn't admit that.

“You very well know who I mean,” Vex said rounding on her brother but her eyes never strayed from her phone, “Keyleth Zephara.” The newest Druid Diaries video already had a couple thousand views and it had only been up for an hour at most. Vex hadn’t watched it yet, but she knew it would be sweet and wonderful and oh so sickening, just like the woman who it focused on.

“Oh right the red-haired bimbo who has been the bane of your existence for the past few months. The one who updates every Saturday, which is today,” Vax said not even looking up from his tablet. He had much better things to do than listen to his sister go on and on about her one-sided war she was waging against her crush even if his sister wouldn’t admit it was a crush.

“I never said she was a bimbo,” Vex retorted. She glanced at her phone again seeing Keyleth’s smiling face as she traveled through the wilderness, “I mean yes I called her a strumpet, but I didn’t actually know what it meant. I thought it was an insult that you called pretty women.”

“I know,” Vax said finally looking at his twin sister, if only so she could see his shit eating grin. “Zahra won’t let you forget it.”

Vex didn’t need to be reminded about her ex-girlfriend/current best friend’s literal rolling on the floor laughter the first time Vex used the word wrong during a rant about Keyleth. Besides, Zahra didn’t matter right now, “I just don’t get how her blog is more popular than mine? I mean we’re both nature blogs, but I’m the 3 time gold medalist and fashion icon, whereas she’s just a nature blog. Why is she more popular than me? Vex’ahlia’s Visions is a masterpiece blog in my opinion, it combines fitness, fashion, and nature.” Vex had started it up sometime during the last Summer games and her third gold medal victory and it had been a very popular blog for the last 3 years. Her friend Scanlan had suggested it, said that she could boost her popularity and show her fans the real her. While she was initially against it she had to admit it was fun and she did love the praise she received for her breathtaking nature shots as well as people lavishing over her beauty during her fitness and fashion segments.

“How could my blog be losing to a blog about a gorgeous girl who does cute things with animals she sees travel the world. It’s only been up for two years.” A moment passed and Vex was about to answer but Vex stopped him, “I know, I know her blog sounds awesome, I realized it the second the words came out of my mouth. Still, it doesn’t explain why she’s more popular than me. She calls her fans Kikinuts for crying out loud.”

“I mean, it probably doesn’t help that you follow her and are like half the views on her videos.”

“I’m not half the views on her videos,” Vex shot back, “maybe a quarter, but not half,” she whispered to herself. She can’t help it, after all Keyleth of the Air Ashari was the competition, Vex had to watch her videos to see why they were so popular, at least 8 times each just to be sure, sometimes with and other times without sound. “Still, I’m a ranger and one of the most famous in the world, how does someone have a nature blog more popular than mine?”

Despite Vex’s complaints she did love Keyleth’s videos. They were always surprisingly informative about the places she visited, and she would always have animals in her videos that did cute things and she would talk to sometimes. Usually she would end up sleeping in the woods somewhere making a shelter, foraging for her own food and water, living under the stars. As a powerful druid she apparently had the ability to summon storms and perfect wifi no matter where she went in addition to her other magical and shapeshifting abilities. Being able to summon lightning meant her equipment was always charged too so that was helpful for a druid ‘roughing’ it.

“You might be a ranger Stubby, but she’s a druid. You both might have nature one your side but she can turn into animals and talk to them and people love animals.”

“I have animals in my videos.”

“You have animals that are running away from you little sister,” Vax said standing up giving his sister a kiss on the forehead since he knows how much she hates it. “Keyleth gets them to gather around her like she’s a Disney princess or something. And that’s not even getting to how she is with plants. Or she gets attacked by them which also leads to a lot of views because people like to see that sort of thing. I’m sorry but I don’t think you’re going to win this one. Especially since you want to keep my nephew out of the spotlight.”

“I swore I would never become a crazy stage mom and force Trinket in the spotlight for something as paltry as popularity. My child is a wild dangerous beast and my animal companion like the ones the rangers of old would ride into battle with. Not some dancing bear doing tricks for snacks and nose pats. The fact that he’s adorable and happens to love me with all his giant heart is a moot point,” Vex said matter-of-factly. She loved Trinket more than anything in this world, which is why she let him roam free in the wilds near Emon instead of stuck in her house like a pet.

“That makes me proud Stubby,” Vax said giving his sister the biggest sloppiest kisses he could muster on each cheek, one for him and one for his nephew. As she pushed him away he continued, “I know you’ve always wanted to be the type of successful woman that those bastards back in Syngorn would have to respect at least. But I’m glad you’re not willing to go crazy over that. I mean if winning three gold medals for archery in the past 3 olympic games didn’t make Syldor respect you, I doubt becoming internet famous will.”

“That might be because I competed on behalf of Emon and beat every pureblooded natural born son and daughter of Syngorn they sent up against me, along with the competitors from the Dwendali Empire, Marquet, and everywhere else,,” Vex said proudly. The memories of her father looking down on her archery skills back when she was 6 still hurt, he had only agreed to let her try after her stepmother convinced him to let her try. He had bet on her quitting in a week. Her stepmother had given her the gold piece when the two of them left to study abroad in Emon when they were 12. A reminder of the first time she forced her father to eat those words Devana said before sending her off with a kiss on the forehead and telling her to not make it the last.

“Syldor and the rest of them back in Syngorn would still respect you even if they hated you, the fact that they still don’t means they never will Stubby. So stop acting like having the best nature blog will make you anything more than an ambassador’s bastard half-blooded daughter to the stuffy elves back home and just enjoy your crush like a normal person,” Vax said as patiently as he could. He knew it probably wouldn’t get through, it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation, but Vex had a hard time letting their horrible childhood go.

“Whatever,” Vex said shrugging off her brother’s words, “why don’t you get out of here, I have a video to watch.”

Sighing Vax just decided to let it go, one issue at a time, “when you watch this time, maybe just forget about your one-sided rivalry with Keyleth for now and just watch her video. You know you always forget about how much you pretend to hate her once you see her break out in that embodiment of sunshine smile she always opens up with,” when Vex flipped him off in response he just let out a sigh and moved to the door. “Just try not to drool all over yourself this time or should I say don’t let her make you so mad you’ froth with rage,” he managed to say before he dashed out of the room dodging pillows that his sister was trying to assault him with.

Unfortunately for Vex this left her alone to deal with her brooding/crush over Keyleth. She wished Trinket was there, he always managed to make her feel better, but a bear wasn’t meant for a populated area, the woods near Emon were fine since he was less than a mile away at worst, but it still didn’t mean his absence wasn’t felt. She had a cabin deeper in the woods on private property that Trinket stayed in or around most days. It worked for Trinket and it worked for her wilderness videos.

She waited to watch the newest Druid Diaries, she knew it would be fantastic even if she could only see the thumbnail. It was of Keyleth sitting up in between two tree branches, she was smiling of course, wearing her classic green ensemble with her iconic antler crown framing her long mane of red hair. Initially she thought that Keyleth had a lot of followers and fans because she was a pretty girl. There were always idiots who followed pretty girls who made videos, Vex knew first hand when she was starting out, but that wasn’t the secret to Keyleth’s success. While she was adorably charming in a clumsy sort of way Keyleth did know her stuff when it came to animals and plants, even if she seemed a bit ditzy at first glance.

Quietly, Vex wondered where Keyleth was going to be shooting this month. The druid seemed a nomad at heart and despite loving each location she got to she only spent a month or so in an area to explore all the natural world had to offer with a video showing up each week before moving on. Vasselheim was an exception though, Keyleth seemed to fall in love with the ancient city and it’s forests full of magical beasts and stayed a whole 4 months before moving on. Her fans loved it though, everything from the forests and the monsters, to the way their idol had explored the ancient city. She had spent so long there that there was speculation on her forum that she had joined the legendary Slayer’s Take hunter’s guild.

Vex had always wanted to go but had never gotten the nerve to. But she would one day, she’d take Trinket there and explore the forests, see the wild magical beasts that hunted in those woods, maybe she’d even join the Slayer’s Take. It was supposed to be a pretty open guild, once you took a contract you needed to fulfill it but it also didn’t have a requirement to keep taking contracts.

That didn’t matter right now though, she had to watch the new video her enemy put out. Despite what her brother thought Vex did not find Keyleth attractive, just annoyingly beautiful and awkwardly charming, but not attractive no sir. Realizing she was just justifying her actions to herself, Vex let out a sigh and started Keyleth’s newest video. It was long enough that she’d by the time she finished she’d be able to watch Keyleth’s live Q&A segment that she always did after the first week. Every now and then her phone would go off to tell her that she had a new notification, something she normally checked religiously, but she ignored them, when it was Keyleth’s video watching time the building would be on fire and she wouldn't notice, which had happened before.

“Hey there Kikinuts,” Keyleth started out with her camera zoomed in way too far so they could only see her right eye. Vex gave a snort, this meant Keyleth was doing things solo, her best friend and camera man when he could Percy wouldn't have let her start a video like that. “Oh sorry, let me adjust that,” she said zooming out a bit until her whole face was in the video. “There we go,” Keyleth said giving the camera a smile and Vex felt her heart speed up. ‘Shut up Vax,’ she thought out loud to a brother that wasn’t there. Keyleth might have had the most gorgeous green eyes Vex had ever seen, but it was her face that she could, and have stared at for hours.

Vex couldn’t help but notice how the morning sun just lit up Keyleth’s long mane of untamed red hair like a sea of rubies or fire. She looked beautiful, Vex could admit that much as she sighed feeling the anger towards the innocent woman whose only crime was being more popular than she was and making her feel weird things.

“I hope you all enjoyed my last month in Whitestone, the home of my best friend and assistant Percival Fredrickstein Von Martini Koala De Rolo the Third,” she giggled. it was a running gag in her videos for Percy’s name to be unpronounceable to anyone other than him. “Unfortunately,” Keyleth said sobering up a bit, “Percy decided to take a bit of a leave of absence for a while. Don’t worry, we’re still a duo and having broken up or anything, he just needed some time to himself. Seeing his childhood home and his family made him feel a bit nostalgic so he decided to stay with them for a while to catch up. You can still keep up with him @Pderolo3 and of course you can follow me @TempestOfAntlers if you aren’t already. Remember if you like this video, leave a like and subscribe, maybe even a comment. Just a reminder because this is the first week of the month, I will be doing a live Q&A session 2 hours after the video airs so send in your questions. It’s weird to be saying that since it will be the future by then but it’s what we’ve been doing. Any way,” Keyleth said giving her fingers a snap, “now that that’s out of the way, we can start our video for real.”

It started off like it usually did with videos of her hiking for a bit and just enjoying the sounds of nature all around her. Vex didn’t usually like this part, it was fine but Keyleth did her best to be quiet for the first few minutes or so and as much as Vex loved nature, sometimes trees just looked like trees, and she had enough trees in whenever she went to visit Trinket. These trees didn’t look any different, which made Vex sit up, actually not only did they not look any different, those were the same trees she saw whenever she visited Trinket, the exact same trees. “Here I am in the Forests of Emon, the capital of Tal'Dorei, and home to Sovereign Uriel Tal’Dorei the Third,” Keyleth said breaking into the talking points of her show where she would list the history but Vex didn’t hear her. She was paralyzed frozen by the information that Keyleth Zephara was literally a few miles away in the forests she walked and hiked in for years.

It wasn’t until Keyleth got a familiar furry visitor, a large brown mass of fur lumbered into the clearing that Keyleth was currently filming in. The two of them stared at each other dumbstruck, neither expecting the other and Vex had a mini heart attack. She knew that Trinket was the sweetest being in creation, but he was still a wild animal, she knew that Trinket wouldn’t attack Keyleth but that didn’t mean that Keyleth wouldn’t attack him thinking she was in danger. Keyleth might not be a warrior, but she was a powerful druid, Vex had seen videos where Keyleth turned into sharks, or tigers, or giant rock monsters, she could destroy Trinket in a fight.

“Alright viewers,” Keyleth whispered into her camera, “I am going to show you how I deal with wild animals that could be potentially dangerous. Just a warning, don’t try this at home unless you are a druid to and even then, I wouldn’t recommend it.” With that she put her phone down so she was still in view, and for a minute she glowed.

Vex was about to run outside with her arrows, crush or not if Keyleth hurt her baby she’d shove an arrow so far up that bitch’s ass that. Luckily her rational side took over before she could do something stupid, it said that this video happened a week ago so even if she did rush out she’d be too late. Also, it said that she always knew when Trinket was in danger thanks to their bond so she had nothing to worry about. She had felt him be nervous during the storm that was after when Keyleth would have shot her video.

“Hello,” Keyleth said in a deeper voice than normal, “I am Keyleth,” her voice said was heavy and harsher than normal, like she was growling. Trinket just let out a large roar in response, Vex could tell he wasn’t angry or scared, just curious, “Oh, you speak common,” Keyleth said in response, “that makes things easier.”

Trinket growled back friendlier than before, “okay so you’re Trinket,” Keyleth responded, “it’s very nice to meet you Trinket,” she said giving Trinket a scratch on the chin. And Vex’s heart started to calm down a little, it also tried not to melt. Seeing the girl of her dreams befriending her son was not something she ever thought she’d see, but it did things to her. Not dirty things, but familial things that she hadn’t dreamed of feeling in a long time.

“You’re very nice for a wild bear,” Keyleth started to say, “I don't mean that other bears aren’t nice wild or not,” she said backtracking. “It’s just most wild bears I meet aren’t so nice or understand common. Oh you’re Vex’s bear,” Keyleth said excitedly and Vex’s heart just froze. The notifications were going off on her phone like crazy now and to the point where Vex had to plug her headphones into her laptop just so she could watch what could be her most important moment of her life. “Wow that’s amazing, I didn’t realize she had a bear, especially one as cute and cuddly as you,” she said in a cutesy baby tone as she gave Trinket a belly rub.

“No,” Keyleth responded to one of Trinket’s growls, “never meet Vex personally, I saw her up close once though,” she said surprising Vex. “It was during the games before last, I went there with my father to represent the Ashari tribes. We don’t exactly have the numbers for athletes to compete, but we were invited to spectate the games. It was a great honor for the tribes, but I was nervous, most of the competitors were hyper focused on their own events they didn’t have time for anyone who wasn’t a fellow athlete, a coach, or the press so I was lost. I didn’t feel like I belonged there so part of me wanted to just curl up and cry in my room from nerves and anxiety. Then at one of the dinner after the opening ceremonies, I saw her, arguing with another athlete form Syngorn despite her being a whole head shorter than him and probably ten years younger, and winning. I think probably the coolest girl I’ve ever seen and she was my age. I didn’t introduce myself back then, I was still too nervous to, but just seeing her stand up for herself made me feel braver. I kind of became a Vex fangirl after that,” Keyleth said kind of dreamily, maybe? It sounded dreamily to Vex who was trying really hard not to get her hopes up. This couldn’t’ be real right?

This couldn’t be happening, this was something after a cheesy romcom, granted it would normally happen with dogs opposed to bears, but Vex didn’t have a dog. “I went to each of her competitions and bought tons of her merchandise, I just was so into her.”

“Do you want to be,’ Vex thought absentminded, she really had no filter when she wasn’t paying attention.

“I got into vlogging because of her actually,” she said surprising Vex when she did. “I got a notification about her on google and saw her video for the first time and I don’t’ know I just subscribed then and there. Oh I don’t know why I’m tell you this Trinket,” Keyleth said looking cute and Vex thought her heart couldn’t take it.

“Oh Vex talked about me with you before,” Keyleth asked excitedly and Vex’s heart dropped, oh no.

For a moment she just watched and listened while Trinket growled amicably with a big smile on her face. Slowly though her smile seemed to fade slowly to the point where she Vex could hear Keyleth’s heart break, “I see she said that about me,” now it sounded like the Druid was about to cry. “I guess I could see that, she isn’t the first person to say things like that about me. I think we should move along, there are so many nice things to see in Emon,” but now she sounded like a carebear who was told love didn’t exist.

Vex’s alarm went off to let her know that Keyleth’s Q&A and Vex immediately shut her alarm off and saw she had hundreds of notifications. Some were “Why are you being mean to Keyleth,” or “I don’t get where you get off being mean to Keyleth, she’s great while you’re the worst,” which seeing how she was feeling right now she couldn’t disagree. Others were worse unfortunately, “I’m with you, Keyleth is an overrated bitch,” or “Keyleth is a cunt who doesn’t know anything and needs to shut her trap. Team Vex all the way,” which got a block from Vex right away. Even a few gross ones that say things like “if the two of you are going to have a fight you should film it with jello to boost both your views.” Honestly she wouldn’t mind getting jello with Keyleth, but she wasn’t’ going to have a catfight in it, at least not for people to watch.

Immediately she turned on Keyleth’s live stream and saw that the area she was filming in was partially destroyed. In the background of her shot though there was a cabin that looked far to familiar. “Hi there Kikinuts. There was a bit of a storm the last few days so sorry I’ve been out of communication. But I’m here and safe, my friend Trinket actually brought me to this nice cabin that belongs to his owner,” she gestured to the, “he took me to where the spare key was so we could both stay safe and dry. I just want you to know Ms. Vex’ahlia if you’re watching this I’m sorry, I never would have trespassed if it wasn’t an emergency. I’ll leave money for whatever I took to survive, I didn’t mean to intrude upon your space.”

“Oh fuck,” Vex swore aloud, the way Keyleth said her name now, it was so meek and formal, she’d talk to her father’s business associates like that growing up.

“Anyway, enough about me,” Keyleth said, “lets here from you guys, what do you want to ask me?” She started scrolling through the chat, “Alright let’s see here there…, there’s a lot of questions asking what the deal between me and Vex’ahlia,” Keyleth said with an aggravated sigh, “look, I don’t know. Like I said I was a huge fan of Vex, and if I could maybe talk to her, I still can be. I know this kind of seemed like I dropped this on you guys, but I’ve been wracking my brain over this for the last week. Maybe I insulted her some way when we were kids by accident or something, but I don’t really know what I could have done to make her…, upset with me but I don’t’ want to start guessing on here without talking to each other first. Since I’m in Emon I thought maybe I’d send her a message to see if we could meet up IRL and maybe clear the air without any cameras or people watching. Maybe I can apologize for whatever I did to offend her. Just don’t send her hate, like I said she’s still the coolest woman I’ve ever seen and Trinket here loves her,” she pointed over to Trinket the traitor who was just rolling around in the dirt being a happy bear. “He’s been talking about how much he loves his mommy all week and how great she is. So I’m sure this is just a problem on my end that I hope we can fix. I get enough hate because of what I do, I don’t ever want anyone else to experience that, especially over me,” her big green eyes were full of sincerity.

“Anyway,” she said trying to lighten the mood, “lets see about another question. Sorry, they’re going by really quickly so if I don’t’ get to yours I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you it’s just hard to see them sometimes. Alright, how about this one,” she paused for a second before letting out a sigh of frustration, “no @AldarLoverL, I will not say what Vex said about me it’s private, she told her bear not me. I shouldn’t have learned it the way that I did so please stop asking. Moving on for…, are there any questions that aren’t about me and Vex’s so called feud?”

At that point Vex was already out the door rushing grabbing her keys and leaving her apartment. “Hey Vex,” Vax called her as she got to the front door, “are you watching…, I see you were watching Keyleth’s live stream.”

“I always do you know that, dear brother of mine,” Vex said trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. She loved her brother, her twin, the other part of her soul, but she needed to go to her cabin and clear the air. It was only a few miles away, on her bike she could be there in under 15 minutes.

“Are you really going to crash her livestream just to tell her that you don’t actually hate her?”

“Yeah or at least that was the plan,” she admitted, “she’s at my cabin with my son thinking that for the past week I hate her, I need to make things right. Now if you’ll excuse me,” and Vex was out the door quicker than her arrows. She tore down four flights of stairs faster than any sprinter she’d meet and got to the garage where she kept her other baby, “Death From Above”. It was a nice looking motorcycle that Vex loved to ride, she had beaten some crazy dragonborn necromancer in pool for it but it was hers. DFA was loud but it was fast and it got her where she was going and it made Vex feel like she was flying.

It was a quick ride, luckily there was no traffic the way to the cabin, once she was off the main road it was just a barely paved dirt road to get to her little slice of heaven. By the time she got to the cabin her heart was still pounding, she all but jumped off her bike and ran to the back where she recognized Keyleth was filming. She got back there right as she started to realize she had no idea what she was doing, Keyleth was still shooting her Q&A, it usually lasted an hour. Vex’s body moved before her mind could catch up and she was around the corner face to face with Keyleth before she realized these things.

Sweet Pelor the Ashari woman was more beautiful and cute in person, for a good thirty seconds they looked at each other not saying anything, Keyleth shocked just as much as she was. “I was watching your stream,” Vex started to explain, “after watching your last video. I saw you were at my cabin and were talking to my bear. I just wanted to say I don’t’ hate you, Trinket made a mistake. And now I realize how unprofessional this is, crashing your shoot,” Vex said awkwardly slinking behind the corner of her cabin embarrassed.

“Excuse me,” Vex heard Keyleth say to her viewers, and followed Vex.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Vex said her head in her hands sitting on the deck of the cabin That was one of the most embarrassing things that she had done.

“No, you don’t have to apologize for anything,” Keyleth assured her, “I mean it’s your cabin after all, I’m just trespassing.”

“Trinket showed you where the key was, that means you’re a guest,” Vex said giving her an attempt at a smile.

“This is not how I expected to meet you,” Keyleth said taking a seat next to Vex on the porch.

“Well if we’re being fair I didn’t you’d ever talk to my bear and spend the week thinking I hated you,” Vex said

“So…, you don’t hate me,” Keyleth asked quietly unsure if she was going to like the answer. “Trinket said you don’t say a lot of good things about me when you talk to him.”

“I promise Keyleth I don’t’ hate you,” Vex swore, “Look, it’s nothing you did, I just…, I have issues. I promise, I’ll make a video telling everyone that I don’t’ hate you, post an apology letter, anything you want. I owe you that much.”

“Well…,” Keyleth said thinking, “I mean you already said you didn’t hate me in my segment. Do you maybe want to come on with me and we can put the rumors to death for real?”

“You really don’t’ mind if I’m in your video,” Vex asked incredulously. She expected Keyleth to hate her for making her think that she was hated.

“I mean I kind of dreamed of collaborated with you for a while,” Keyleth said her cheeks red, “I wasn’t lying when I said you were the reason I got into making videos.”

“Let’s do it, if it’s really okay,” Vex said standing up face to face with Keyleth. She never realized how tall Keyleth was, even without the antlers she was almost half a foot taller than Vex. It was kind of a turn on.

“Great,” Keyleth said jumping up and down in excitement and hugged her. Vex never thought she’d feel like Elenore to Keyleth’s Tahani but, to quote the Good Place, “of course your hugs are amazing.”

Five minutes later they were in front of Keyleth’s camera starting their collaboration. “Hi Kikinuts, I’m back, sorry about that. I just had to work a few things out with my special surprise guest, Vex’ahlia of Vex’halia’s Visions.”

“That’s Keyleth, you can call me Vex though,” Vex said, not wanting to tell her that she liked it when Keyleth used her shortened name, it made her smile. “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by,” she cursed herself for sounding so stupid. Of course, she was in the neighborhood this was her cabin. “I was watching your lasted video, which was great by the way,” she said turning to Keyleth, “you know up until you met Trinket, my animal companion.”

“Yeah, he’s wonderful but I think we got a bit confused,” Keyleth admitted.

“He’s my beautiful baby boy, but as much as I love him, he’s still a bear and doesn’t always understand the things I tell him. So I’m sorry about that, I can defanetly say that I don’t hate you Keyleth, I’ve actually a big fan. Subscribed the moment I saw your videos.”

“Well that’s really sweet, I’m glad that we got all that cleared out of the way, because like I said I’m a big fan of yours too,” Keyleth said giving her warm smile that shot through the heart. “Hear that views, Vex doesn’t hate me and I don’t hate her so maybe we can drop the whole thing, it was a misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really mean it when I said those things to him about you,” Vex explained without thinking, only to realize what she said when they came out of her mouth.

“Oh,” Keyleth said and the look on her face could make puppies cry, “so you did say those things about me.”

“Keyleth not like that,” Vex said she was normally so cool and good with her words, what was it about this girl that made her so stupid.

“It’s fine Vex,” Keyleth said trying to keep her smile on her face despite also looking like she was going to cry.

“I’m such an ass, it really wasn’t like that Keyleth,” Vex said turning away and saw the chat was exploding asking them over and over what she meant, or what she said. It was starting to get aggravating.

“Vex,” Keyleth said meeting her eye, despite looking hurt the druid’s eyes were also strong, “it’s okay, you said you don’t hate me and are a fan and I believe you. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

“Keyleth..,” Vex started she’d rather be vulnerable than let Keyleth think she hated her. “It’s true, I said those horrible things about you, I’d say it pretty often, Trinket being a bear only knows the words. If he was a person he might understand the nuance a bit better. I’m not exactly the best person, I’m really competitive and don’t really know…, pretty girls make me stupid, especially the ones that I have a crush on, not the best combination,” and there it was she just admitted in front of all Keyleth’s fans and the woman herself that she had a crush on her. “Like I said, if Trinket was a people person maybe he’d understand that, since all my friends have told me I have a crush on you despite my name calling.” There it was, Vex didn’t do vulnerable, but hey, it was a crazy situation and she didn’t have time to think about it.

“Oh,” was all Keyleth could say as she blushed as red as her hair.

“You don’t’ have to say anything,” Vex assured her. “I know this isn’t how you thought your day was going to go I just felt like being honest to avoid any more confusion.”

Keyleth started to hyperventilate and pulled out a paper bag. Vex was right, this definitely wasn’t how she expected her day to go. “Shit,” Vex said and rushed into the house to fetch Keyleth a glass of water. By the time she was back Keyleth seemed to calm down a little, at least enough to drink the glass of water. “I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t expect that reaction,”

“No need to apologize,” Keyleth said after finishing the water, “its just not everyday your first crush surprises you a dozen times over and admits to having a crush on you. Let’s turn this off,” she said jumping up and turning her camera off to the outrage of the chat. “We’ll tell you guys about what happens later,” Keyleth promised before signing off. She started to pinch her arm wondering if this was all just a crazy dream, maybe she died in the storm and this was hell.

“We don’t’ have to do anything about this Keyleth, hell, we didn’t even know each other before today. If you want we could write the whole thing off as a skit we made together to show people we don’t’ actually hate each other. We can say it was my idea,” Vex offered.

“I don’t want to do that,” Keyleth said firmly, “I’m not going to lie about how I feel. It’s just,” she started to say her face falling, “I’ve never dated anyone before, I’m a mess when it comes to talking to people, that’s why I move around so much and shoot videos in the woods with my only friend. I’ve had a crush on you for so long, but it’s always been from a far. What happens if I ruin that, what happens when I ruin that, I won’t even have my stupid childish crush to fall back on.”

“Well why don’t we start off small,” Vex suggested, “we don’t have to get together and go steady right now, maybe we can start off with something small. My name is Vex’ahlia Vessar, I’m a nature vlogger and 3 time gold winning medalist in archery,” she said holding out her hand, “it’s nice to meet you.”

For a moment Keyleth could only laugh, not at Vex, but at the whole situation, still, she took Vex’s outstretched hand, “Keyleth Zephara of the Ashari, the future voice of the Tempest and a nature vlogger as well.”

Those little gestures became conversations, those conversations became long talks and before you knew it, like and then love. Keyleth wound up spending a record six months in Emon, despite the forests being nice but not impressive. If it was Vex and Trinket’s home then it was the most amazing place in the world. And when she left Emon after those six months, she didn’t leave alone, she was never alone again.

I really needed to wrap that up, the ending was getting away from me. This was supposed to be a quick silly modern youtuber au that got out of hand. Originally it was supposed to end with Trinket telling Keyleth about Vex’s crush on her, but for some reason I added a lot of unnecessary drama. Oh well it’s done and I hope you enjoyed it. I realize that the characters are kind of ooc, but like I said they kind of got away from me.

I also don’t know why I made Vex an Olympic athelet, it just kind of fit since she is a ranger class still, despite the world not really needing adventurers as much as it did in the old days. Still, I did it and it’s done. For anyone interested, I’d say that they’re around level 10, sort of when everything picks up in the campaign.

#critical role #vox machina #vexleth #vex #vex'ahlia #keyleth #keyleth of the air ashari #crfemslashweek #critrolefemslashweek #fanfiction #fanfic

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leiaorganawrites · 8 years ago

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Well, hello! How about the pirate AU where Vex gets in trouble and gets in jail, and while the crew is making plans to save her, Percy sneaks out and save her... With a bloody cannon.

Yes yes yes, amazing! You’ll find it under the cut. (SORRY IT GOT SUPER LONG OMG)

Give me some prompts!

In Percy’s defence, the plan had been absolutely and utterly stupid to begin with. It wasn’t like he was to blame that it had backfired. Maybe he was, a little bit, but that wasn’t something he was willing to admit.

What they had to do was easy; nothing that the crew hadn’t done before. During the couple of months he had been travelling on board the Vox Machina, Percy had seen them pull much riskier stunts - and had participated of most of them-. There was no reason for this to go wrong, but alas, this particular group of misfits seemed to have a knack for things to go south very easy very fast.

It had been some days since they had heard some of the village guards had snatched important documents containing ships’ descriptions, captains’ names and details about legal and no so legal trading routes. Now, in the wrong hands that information could be catastrophic for every single pirate out there. If those papers reached their destiny, they would have armies all over them in merely a few days time. The need to get the papers back as soon as possible went without saying. Of course the extra knowledge that would fall on them when they did was always a more than welcome plus.

The mission would have been simpler had they been in Emon. They were used to bypass Emperor Uriel’s Royal Guard. They had even made friends - sort of - among their lines that would have been able to aid them. This was Wildmount, though. This continent had no sovereign and each region had its own leader and military. According to what they knew, most of the guards were as corrupt as the worst pirates they knew, so this was unfamiliar ground. Scanlan had pulled some strings and found out the name of the tavern the group of soldiers in possession of the documents were staying in for the moment, before reporting to their authorities they assumed. He had had to cash a couple of favours for it, but you didn’t get to be the captain of a ship like the Vox Machina without gaining some important connections on the way up.

Percy had stated his opinion from the beginning. There weren’t a lot of guards, the tavern didn’t have a very good reputation. They would most likely be able to take them and go in and out with the papers without causing much fuss. Grog, obviously, had agreed. However, it hadn’t been that long since he had started travelling with them, since he had become the ship’s new member, in charge of the artillery and most weaponry. Unfortunately, being the newcomer meant that most of the others didn’t trust him enough to make strategic decisions yet. They wanted to be sneaky about it, so after much deliberation and despite Grog’s protests the plan was finally laid.

Vex’ahlia was going to be in charge of creating a distraction while Vax’ildan and Scanlan himself sneaked into the guards’ room to steal the papers. Percy, Grog and Pike were supposed to go to the tavern with Vex and act as a contingency plan in case everything failed.

“You’re not coming, then?” Percy had asked Keyleth once everyone had left to get ready.

“Wha- no, not really. Not much of a fighter, and not much of a talker either.” She had shrugged. “My specialities lie elsewhere. Besides, someone has to stay here in case we need to bolt.” The redhead girl had leaned forward and whispered “Which honestly happens way too often.”

Percival should have known there and then.

A group of pirates like them - and Percy couldn’t deny he was more than a bit surprised when he started considering himself as a pirate - had no problem blending in the second they went into the tavern. The bear that accompanied them was a different story..

“I don’t mean to offend anyone but I believe the sensible thing would have been to left Trinket behind.” he commented, already expecting Vex’s snarky remark about her animal companion. Most ships’ first mates had parrots, monkeys, even eagles. This woman travelled with a bloody bear. A giant one. But if there was something Percy had learned during his stay on board so far, was that there was nothing ordinary about Vex’ahlia. The remark never came though, and he stopped on his tracks to look behind him. “Wait, where’s Vex?”

“She disappeared right at the door. She does that sometimes, pretty much like Vax. It’s kind of their thing.” Pike had offered a soft smile to conclude her explanation, while patting Grog on his back. He also seemed confused about where the other woman had vanished to, but had quickly shrugged it off and started talking to Trinket. The animal was following them, seemingly undisturbed by the fact that they were inside an establishment full of humans that were giving him foul looks.

The place was uncommonly filled with people, even at that time of noon. Once they found a place to sit, Trinket easily curled on the floor behind Pike, Percy noticed the stench that surrounded them. It was a mix between sweat, salt, and alcohol. There was a band playing some awful tunes in the corner, but the musicians seemed a bit too scared by the drunken men dancing around to even try to change their style, as out of tune as it might have been. “Well, I don’t know if Scanlan is already here but he must be horrified at this.” Pike laughed as she brought a bottle of rum to the table with two glasses in her other hand and some ale for Grog, who cackled in return. Percy just chuckled and shook his head briefly, searching around for the guards; a feeling of discomfort settling in his stomach. “Who are we looking for exactly?” He didn’t even turn to look at his companions while he threw the question in the air. The fact that Vex wasn’t there worried him even more. It was not as if he thought she couldn’t protect herself, but lately he found the he felt more at ease if she wasn’t out of sight. His eyes scanned the place once again, trying almost desperately to spot any stain of turquoise among the crowd. Nothing.

“Yeh, where are them, Pike?”, Grog asked, his face already buried in his beverage.

“I’m- well, I’m not really sure. Vex will let us know. Just pay attention and we’ll know when we see her.” And as if it had been previously planned, as soon as the blonde woman finished her sentence, Percy saw her. Her hair was down, bright blue feathers entwined with black wild silk waves; her lips were red and full, evidently exalted by some sort of makeup. She was wearing a dress now, in contrast to her usual pants, boots and loose shirt. Vex was very comfortable with her body, that much was clear, so this was not the first time Percy had noticed her figure; but this dress was something else entirely. It fit perfectly in all the right places, it showed just the right amount of skin to keep anyone wondering, it was definitely a sight. Giving the nature of the distraction she had planned, he figured that was kind of the point.

He adjusted his glasses as his eyebrows went up in what was probably the most unoriginal move ever. His jaw hanging would complete the picture of a pathetic being, but he managed to gather some self-control. She wasn’t the only woman dressed like that inside the establishment and he had known enough of the world to understand how a courtesan was supposed to look, but she stood out so naturally with her graceful movements and her sharp looks; it was a fool’s errand not to be mesmerised by her mere presence.

“Hello boys.” She approached three men nearby with a wink, sitting on their table and shamelessly crossing her partially uncovered legs. Percy felt his cheeks flush and tried to look away, failing completely. It was only when he heard Pike’s voice behind him that he was able to blink a couple of times and snap out of the trance.

“Percy are you listening? Percy! Hey!” She tapped his shoulder delicately.

“Yes, yes dear, I’m sorry. I was just-” Staring. He was just staring. He made a quick scan of the men sitting next to Vex. Definitely soldiers. He needed to come up with something clever to say to save what was left of his dignity. “So there are three of them. It doesn’t seem they’re waiting for anyone else. They’re armed, but not heavily so. It’s plausible they have left some weapons in their room.”

“That’s good, isn’t it? Will make it easier if- well, if everything goes to shit.” There was a little giggle escaping from Pike’s lips and he found himself chuckling fondly as well.

“Funny. Keyleth basically told me the same thing on our way out.”

“It’s been over two months, you’re no stranger to our plans now. Or to how they have this tendency to go terribly wrong.” Her tone was amused and relaxed, almost as if the fact that they were actually risking their lives there was an ongoing joke.

Pike’s words ended up being prophetic once again. Vex was playing her part to perfection, making the large men paying drinks for her, winking, subtly placing her hands on their knees, stalling. Vax was supposed to give some sort of signal when everything was over and done with, so she could make an easy escape. At the moment the soldiers - more drunk and nastier by the minute - were discussing which of them was going to be lucky enough to take her to their room.

“Let’s all take her. We can take turns. She seems like a tough one.” The guard whose back was nearest to Percy grabbed her forcefully by the waist, trying to plant a kiss on her.

“Sorry darling.” Vex didn’t seem to lose her composure. “No game until you pay.”

“Oh come on! We need a little taste before we give up our money. Don’t be feisty.” One of them stood up, hovering over her. Two towering bodies cornered her in a split second, while the third one kept her firm with a massive arm around her.

“… Pike.” Percy’s brow was furrowed and he was instinctively reaching for his gun.

“Don’t worry, she will ask for help if she needs us to intervene. Believe me, I’ve known Vex for years. She’s really tougher than she seems.” But even though Pike’s voice seemed as steady as before, her eyes were fixated on the scene in front of them. Grog had also stopped drinking and had an expression of alertness, pretty much like a beast getting ready to attack.

And then he saw her look. Or at least he thought he had seen a look. A single glance of discomfort that had him freaking out immediately. He breathed once, twice, considering what to do. When his mind reached its own accord, he nodded to himself. Percy stood up and walked towards one of the corners of the place. One, two shots directed at random targets. One glass broke, a simple hat got blown up. That was all it took to start the brawl.

While Trinket launched at the three guards, Pike pulled out her sword and Grog started simply using his fists. Ducking under a table, Percival crouched and moved towards Vex, but he hadn’t been fast enough.

“You’re coming with us, love.” The man grabbing her by the waist was suddenly carrying her on his shoulders.

“The fuck I am.” Vex’s dagger was swift, but she was clearly overpowered and outnumbered.

“Well, well, well, someone’s pretty arse will be thrown into jail for obstruction.”

That was the last thing he had heard before someone had collapsed on top of him and he had lost sight of her and her captors. Trinket hadn’t had any luck either, returning to them some minutes after with an injured paw.

Now Vex’ahlia was being held at the stockades and they were all back on the ship, planning once again, sitting around Scanlan’s table.

“Leave this to me. No one interferes. I sneak in, I get her, I sneak out. Done. We got the papers, we don’t need to draw any more attention to us or they will find out.” Vax was adamant, and when it came to his sister, no one seemed to be able to deny whatever decision he made. Percy cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses.

“It’s too risky. There are more than three brute soldiers there. Do you think you can take them all? With your sister who is mostly unarmed and unprotected? It is madness.”

“It was too risky to go ahead n’ try n’ play prince charming, De Rolo, and that definitely didn’t stop you.” Vax’s stare was more piercing than his daggers at the moment. Percy, however, was not easily intimidated. Never had been. He just rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. “Grog, if you please? I need your help outside for one moment.”

Once he was alone with the massive man, he crossed his arms and leaned onto railing. “I’m having a thought, and I believe you will appreciate it. We need a distraction if we’re going to make this work, preferable of the explosive kind.” As imagined, that definitely peaked his crew mate’s interest.

Sneaking past the militia and knocking two poor devils out to steal the armour they wore as some sort of uniform was no challenge. Grog’s didn’t fit very well, but it was not like they were going to keep the clothes anyway. The artillery at the stockades was poor, to say the least, but Percy found what he needed after some minutes. The old cannon hadn’t been used for years, he could tell, but it couldn’t be that difficult to make it function. The wheels under the base that supported it needed a bit of mending, but Grog’s strength came in handy for that. He then proceeded to quickly pack the black powder and grab the ammunition.

“Listen to me Grog, as soon as we leave, I will fire this thing and you take care of the poor assholes that come running. I will go to the cells and get Vex out and then we run. Fast.” The man in front of him nodded, wide grin plastered on his face.

“Yeh, let’s fuck shit up.”

And so they did. As soon as the east part of the stockades blew up in the air, a group of more or less ten guards ran towards them without their armours and barely carrying any weapon. Grog practically cackled, and Percy nodded, leaving him to his fun while he moved towards the cells. It didn’t take him too long to find the entrance. Two guns in hand, he knew his distraction had worked when he didn’t find more than two or three guards on his way. He reached the prison and the sight there made him stop altogether.

Another couple of men were knocked out in front of an open prison door, key hanging from the lock. He easily recognised two of the ones who had been at the tavern previously. Unsure of what to do, he looked around, not knowing what to expect.

“My hero.”

Vex’s voice came from behind him, leaning against the wall, her lips curved in a smug smirk. So much for a rescue mission. She chuckled and walked towards him, her brown eyes scanning his form up and down. Percy’s cheeks felt warm again, and a sudden feeling of self-consciousness took over him. He held her gaze for a moment, before looking away at both his hands.

“Your bow was… a little complicated to bring along. We left in a rush. Can you handle one of these?” He handed her one of his guns.

“Come on darling, what kind of pirate would I be if I couldn’t shoot one of those? I’m just old school. Let’s get out of here while they’re paying attention to the BOOM.- wait, did you bring my hat?”

This time it was Percy’s time to chuckle. With a pompous bow, he passed over the three pointed hat to her. It was a gift from Scanlan, and from what he knew she was supposed to wear it every time she stirred the ship. Now it was just a habit. She gently placed the hat on her head. Her hair was back in her usual braid and the dress’ skirt was now turn to shreds, probably self destructed to give herself more mobility. She examined the gun closely for a second and just when he thought she was going to walk out of the place, she moved to stand even closer to him.

“Thank you. For everything. Really.” The smirk turned into a fond smile, and as she stood on her toes, he felt a soft kiss on his cheek that lingered one second more than it probably should have. But as fast as it came, it was gone. Vex was already going for the door and he stood there, blinking and touching the place where her lips had been with his now free hand. He snapped out of it right before she rolled her eyes and took his hand in hers, practically dragging him outside.

“Percival! we have to get going now!”

“Yes, of course, we just have to make sure to pick up Grog on our way out.”

#annavoigmarchen #critical role #cr au #perc'ahlia #vox machina #my stuff #writing prompts #drabbles #lucia writes #this got super long #also it feels weird after yesterday but there you go:)

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ruthdemoofins · 8 years ago

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Cor Tutor Chapter 2/? - Perc’ahlia fanfic

When Vex heads home after a long chat with Pike, Saundor enters the scene. Percival and Vex meet for the first time and it's entirely unconventional.

Read the first chapter on AO3: (X)

“I don’t know, Pike, Percival de Frankenstein Von Muscle Claws-out-seat de Rolo the Third? He obviously must be a completely loaded dickhead if he’s got such a long fucking name. Vax and I probably ransacked his place a few years ago, probably stole his prized pocket watch or ugh-” Vex cut off in a frustrated growl, aggressively tugging at her braid as she sank down into her seat a bit.

Pike, glancing up from her textbook, offered a sympathetic smile, shrugging her shoulders, “Oh, I don’t know, Vex,” she sighed softly, brushing some stray strands of her blonde hair behind her ear, “It might not be a bad thing, you might just make a friend out of it.”

“Or I might just make a rich little fuck bleed,” Vex spits out, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, the very image of a petulant child. He’ll probably be just like all the other rich little fucks from “home,” who mocked her and her brother at every turn for their attempts to fit in and then for their attempts to stay as far away as they could from their little niche cliques.

Pike covered her mouth to hide her smile at Vex’s current, pouting state, though her dimples gave her away anyway. “Well, I wouldn’t judge him too harshly,” she offers, taking a bite of the bagel she’d bought before trudging to the library. “I’ve never met him personally, but he seems to carry a lot of weight with him. He and his sister lost their entire family in a fire, you know.”

Vex rolled her eyes as though that information didn’t matter. She and her brother lost their mother to a fucked up murderer, but you don’t see them asking for pity.

“He’s not asking for pity, though,” Pike says, reading her mind because, of course, Pike knows her and all of their friends better than anyone (or even themselves), “I just know that from what I’ve heard.”

Vex’ahlia flips through her textbook, pretending to give a shit before finally, she’s giving a loud groan of defeat, “Fine, I won’t chicken out, but I will find you to complain when he’s fucking gushing about money or he turns out to be a complete creep.”

Pike makes a soft, popping noise with her lips as her eyes flare, surely searching for the right words to scold Vex’ahlia for jumping to conclusions, but when she sees the twinkling mirth in Vex’s eyes, she falters. “You can’t joke with me like that right now,” she weakly informs, soft, platinum waves bouncing as she shakes her head, “My brain is just…completely fried and it isn’t even midterms.”

Vex offers a sympathetic smile as she reaches over, rubbing Pike’s shoulder supportively, “You’ll charge through this semester like you always do. Nursing is just one giant battle to get through, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah,” Pike sighs, her scrawny shoulders seeming to deflate as she slumped forward. Vex knows that being the mother hen of their little rag-tag group of friends doesn’t help her studies either, whether it’s from Grog coming to her to question her about itchy balls for “his friend” or Scanlan drooling all over her.

Thankfully, Pike is always level-headed, even when she’s bogged down.

“I’m going to head home and find out whether my brother’s still at Gilmore’s or out with ‘his Kiki,’” she retches a bit, clumsily snatching her bag and dragging it from the table as she stands.

“Well, whoever he’s with, it’ll do him some good,” Pike pointedly arches a brow as she glances up over her book to Vex.

“He might be sleeping with them both,” Vex dramatically groans, whipping her bag over her shoulder. “I can’t fucking understand him, sometimes, Pike. Love is shit,” she kicks the leg of the chair she’d previously been lounging in to push it back into the table, resulting in a squeak that has a few, annoyed glares from other library-goers directed towards her. “Fuck off,” Vex mutters, scowling.

Pike only looked at her with those easy-to-read eyes, clearly throwing out an “I’m worried about you” gaze that has Vex twisting her lips in frustration. “I don’t know,” she exasperatedly bit out, “I’m happy that he’s getting out and being with people, but I’m also his detached Siamese twin and I miss him sometimes,” Pike’s full attention is on her now, though she’s lightly nibbling at her bagel. Her eyes soften and fill Vex with reassurance that what she’s saying isn’t insane. Pike is one of the only people she can actually talk to, anyway. Grog wants to talk about drinking, football or bashing faces in, Scanlan wants to flirt with his foul limericks, Keyleth wants to talk about her manic-pixie thoughts about nature and Trinket, well, Trinket can only listen and wuff.

“I’m afraid he’ll stop telling me things, I’m afraid he has stopped telling me things.”

Pike waited a few beats after this to be sure Vex had fully ranted before, in the way Vex and their other friends often mimicked when Pike wasn’t there, said: “Well…” she took a few seconds as she searched for words before giving Vex a smile. “I think you’d certainly do well to tell him that, but maybe not so…”

“Pissily?” Vex offers with a weak grin, and Pike nods.

“I’m sure he’s not keeping you out of the loop, anyway, but it might be awkward to talk about his love life, you know?” she offers.

“Yeah, you’re right,” there’s less of a weight on her chest and she’s grateful for that. Vex pushed her bag’s strap further up her shoulder and gave a nod. “You usually are, anyway. I’ll be off, then. Text you later and try not to drown in books, yeah?”

Pike looks visibly relieved to have helped in some way and bobs her head, smile brightening. “Yeah. I’ll try.”

Vex exits the library, scowling faintly at the cloudy sky before setting off-campus for her and Vax’s flat.

She was nearly finished with untangling her headphones when she heard a sudden, echoing pang of footsteps behind her. Unbidden paranoia had her glancing over her shoulder, and it wasn’t useless unbidden paranoia either.

His pale skin and his oaky brown eyes had a way of making her stomach twist and the way his greasy, slick black hair clung to his face made her skin crawl.

She’d never come across a person who made her so uncomfortable. Sure, Syldor brought forth tsunamis, but never a discomfort as this.

Saundor.

Vex quickly surveyed the area; thankful that she’d forgone any alley shortcuts and stuck to the open sidewalk.

She was also thankful that there was no chance Vax would happen upon this.

It’d all started a year ago, when she’d gone on a class trip between her Advanced Earth Sciences course and Keyleth’s Writing With Nature elective (to go to the forest once a week just to write seemed entirely boring to her). As Vex had eyed the group, as she always eyed any groups or persons around her, she noted Saundor, slinking far and away from the rest of the students.

Vex, tired of Keyleth’s not-so-inconspicuous questions about Vax, had approached him. She was always fond of outcasts, having been one herself, and knew it’d be her good deed of the day to chat up the pale, pale boy.

Vax always insisted they should be guarded, always said that most people wanted the wrong things from them. Meeting their group of friends (or rather, the S.H.I.T.s as they’d called themselves for that one karaoke contest) had been a completely chance occurrence, and a good one, at that.

Vex, of course, did love doing the opposite of what he said.

And so she spoke with him, briefly, about his course. It was for her own benefit, really, as she was curious as to what they even wrote about.

Immediately, she realized Vax was right and she’d been horribly stupid.

“I feel as though I’ve known you for a very long time,” Saundor had told her, ignoring her question entirely, and the intensity of his gaze still made her cringe to that very day.

She’d immediately stuttered out a horrible excuse, something along the lines of: “I think my friend needs help getting a leaf out of her hair,” and hurriedly left.

Needless to say, she was happy to endure Keyleth’s dreamy, dedicated soliloquies about the trees that day, though Saundor watched her the entire time from afar.

It hadn’t ended there, of course. After snooping about, Saundor found her name, her social media, messaged her on every possible platform for weeks. He told her of his intense feelings of her, described how she appeared to him the first time he saw her on that trip, tried to convince her that they were ‘destined’ for one another.

Vex had simply blocked him, but he found her cell-phone number next, called her when she wasn’t around and Vax, being the asshole he was, had answered the phone and immediately confronted her after Saundor demanded to know who he was and why he thought he had any worth to Vex, who belonged with him.

She’d told him everything, and while Vax was entirely pissed off for a day (she knew it reminded him of the reason why he’d joined that shit little Clasp gang when they were young), he’d bought her a switchblade and made her promise to keep it close, even though he knew she already had the pepper spray he’d bought her when she’d been far younger.

Things had been quiet for a few days, but eventually, they’d found a stick on their doorstep with a rudimentary carving of a very Vex-like woman and Saundor-like male. After that, Vax had insisted upon walking her to class for a week, and eventually, thankfully, Saundor had gone away.

But now, he was here again, following her with those disgustingly sad eyes.

“What the fuck do you want?” Vex hissed as she turned on her heel, mentally reminding herself that her switchblade was in the front pocket of her messenger bag if he got to close, and her pepper spray on her keychain if he pissed her off from afar.

“I only wanted to see you; I missed you,” Saundor said in his soft, melancholic rumble of a voice.

“You don’t know me,” Vex immediately retorted with ire, not at all phased by the way he forlornly tilted his head at her, as if he didn’t quite get what she was saying.

He moved closer, until he was at least two feet away from her and offered a chilling smile, his hand extended towards her, “You do, though,” he said, “We have a deal to make, one that will help us both. I understand your pain, your mother-“

Vex’s horribly-contained-cool completely shattered, melting into a molten, livid rage, “You don’t fucking know her, you don’t have the right to speak of her!” she spat out, nostrils flaring and eyes blazing. Her fists were clenched so hard that her nails left half-moons upon her palms, body trembling with the urge to charge, to bash his fucking face in. The fucker had probably found the fucking newspaper articles of her murder online, probably poured over every little thing he could find from fucking Google.

“I know enough to know that we are meant-“

Vex phased out, forcing her mind to ignore his aside to glance around at their surroundings, at…

A head of stark, white hair approaching caught her eye and immediately, Vex was moving past Saundor towards the man, no, student with white hair (she’d ponder over why the fuck he had white hair later) and a long navy colored coat.

“Darling,” she cooed, to the stranger’s obvious befuddlement. Ignoring his confusion, she reached for his hand that wasn’t clutching a bag and gripped it tightly in hopes that he’d understand something wasn’t right. “I’m glad you caught up with me.”

“I’m…” the stranger’s blindingly blue eyes studied her for a moment, his brow furrowed lightly before he looked past her to Saundor. “I-I’m glad too?” he asked unconvincingly.

“Of course you are, dear,” she crooned, turning to look to Saundor, who, thankfully, looked entirely confused. She hardly knew him and she knew this could be bad, that he could act upon his possible rage, but she had no problem beating the ever-loving shit out of him herself. “I was just giving this stranger directions to the university, but I didn’t expect you to surprise me like this!” her tone is so honeyed and drenched with sweetness that Vex wants to either vomit or scrape the sugar from her tongue with a hot knife. Still, it’s the kiss she places on the stranger’s scruffy, peppered cheek that has her reeling from her obscenity. The poor man takes it though, his face flushing into a lovely shade of pink. “I-I,” he stutters, his hand trembling lightly in her grip, “I wanted to-ah…surprise you,” he repeats, lifting his other hand with a bag that she recognizes as take out. Judging by the distinct, spicy smell, she can only conclude that it’s from Jarret’s place.

“You brought me takeout? Oh, darling.”

The stranger looks to the bag and then her, suddenly wearing an expression that’s honestly hilarious in that moment, a look that clearly states “Don’t you even think about it.”

But she does.

Vex turns to peer over her shoulder and fucking thankfully, Saundor has vanished. She immediately drops the stranger’s hand and knowing fully well that she’s an asshole, she takes his bag of takeout.

He stutters adorably as she walks down the sidewalk with purpose, her free hand finding her can of pepper spray, just in case Saundor’s waiting for her around a corner.

“W-Wait!” he calls as he finally figures out how to form words, and she rolls her eyes before glancing over her shoulder, giving him one of her trademark winks before calling: “Thanks!”

She needs to take a long, hot shower to get Saundor’s grimy words off of her, completely devour her unexpected spoils and not mention a single fucking thing to Vax.

Just after she’s fallen asleep past midnight, after a long, struggling session of trying to understand some of her stats homework so she wouldn’t seem like a total idiot for her tutoring session, her phone vibrates.

With a single, squinting eye, Vex noted a message from Percival, plugged into her contacts as “The Tutor” with an eye-rolling emoji resting beside it.

When she opened her phone to view the message, she wasn’t sure she was even fucking awake.

Miss Vessar

I’ll be happy to work with you tomorrow, as requested, at two in the afternoon. Please find me on the second floor of the library in the corner behind the large stack collection. Have a good evening.

-Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III

For a long time, Vex stared at her phone screen, lips parted and eyes wide open in confusion.

With numb fingers, she replied with a simple “Ok. Thanks,” before she promptly rolled onto her side and broke out in guffawing laughing.

She laughed until she was “hoo”ing for breath, her stomach pinching and her eyes watering.

Who in the world wrote texts like they’d been sent by raven? Honestly, it was adorable.

“What the fuck, Vex’ahlia?” Vax groaned from his nearby mattress, the thought of why she was laughing making her snicker to herself.

“Oh, nothing. Go back to sleep, brother,” she sidled further down under her covers, holding her phone to her stomach for a moment before returning it to the floor beside her mattress.

She had to admit, she felt a bit better about walking into the library to meet Percival the next day after that text, or rather, intrigued.

The next day, before class, she’d spent a bit of time on her bulking laptop to search his name up, pleased to find a social media account. Before school, during the days her and Vax struggled for a foothold to let her study, she’d done a similar form of work for Gilmore. He’d send her client names and she’d find everything she could online, all with the purpose of gathering Gilmore all the information on them as she could so he could successfully barter or appeal to them.

The only profile on Percy contained no pictures of the man in question, though, instead, his profile picture was a sketch of a mask with goggles and a long, dark beak. It was odd, but it had her keen on meeting him. Vex liked odd people (not the Saundor kind of odd), her entire group of friends had their oddities about them. She’d rather be as far from the aristocratic, snobby children who mocked those who were different and be with the different.

Vax, of course, hated her easygoing feelings on strangers, always insisted that she needed to be more wary of people and insisted upon this even more after the Saundor-incident. .

As Vex walked towards the aisle of over-sized books, she felt a mild trepidation, wondered if she was about to meet Saundor the Second, or perhaps someone even worse.

Shaking off her worries and touching a finger to the small blue feather hanging from a chain upon her neck as she always did when anxious, Vex stepped behind the rack.

When she spotted a head of white hair in disarray, her eyes blew wide open.

Fuck.

#perc'ahlia #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #critical role #critical role fanfic

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