#i swear to god yooo

[starrodkid]

Look, as much as I like Carmelo

FUCKING FINALLY

[atlasmoonglade]

University AU Enemies to lovers

Joost Klein x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, PiV (protected), 18+ only

It's a Friday evening, soft music is playing through the speakers on Max's desk, mixing in with the chatter of your friends. Everyone is sitting in different spaces around the room, some on the desk, some on Max's bed, you and Olivia rest on Max's roommate’s bed. Red solo cups of beer are scattered amongst the room. It was calm and then the door swung open.

"Yooo!!" The entering voice rang, instantly earning a happy response from Max, who hops off his bed and heads towards the entrance.

“Joost!” Max exclaims, arms open wide to embrace his friend. “Where the hell you have been, man?”

"Consider my good time ruined" you mutter.

"Be nice" Olivia pats your knee.

"I am always nice. It's him who always starts shit. That di-"

"Hey, Y/N" Joost greets, taking a seat on the opposite bed. "Hey, Olivia."

"Hey, Joost" Olivia smiles. When you don't say anything, she nudges her elbow into your side.

You roll your eyes. "Hi, Joost"

"C'mon, that's all I get?" he teases. "What's wrong? You tired?"

"You have no idea" you say, finally looking at him. He is wearing a green long sleeve polo shirt and a hat, his blond messy hair sticking out the front it.

"Aw, is it past your bed time?"

"And the day is just starting for you? Let me guess, you just rolled out of bed."

"Oh, God" someone says "Here they go again."

"Max invited me here. I am more fun than someone who sits with a sour face all the time."

"Why are you talking to me? Don't you have anything better to do?"

"You know" Max says. "if you two just - I'm gonna say it - fucked one good time. You would get over this rivalry already."

Your jaw drops, you look at Olivia, who just shrugs.

"Don't ever say that again, Max. Ew" you say disgusted at the thought.

"Ew?" Joost says offended. "You would be lucky if I even considered it."

Your jaw drops even lower. "You arrogant asshole" you sit down straight. "And this is who you all want around?"

"Stop it you two." someone says.

You can't see yourself ever getting along with him. This "rivalry" as your friends call it has started a long time ago. During the first week of introductions, he asked you to speak louder, which completely messed up your track of thought and earned some laughs from the auditory. So, after the first homework tasks, you called his presentation uninspiring and poorly structured. He took the last internship place, which he knew you wanted. So, you assigned to write the final paper with the professor, he was planning to ask. You showed his old embarrassing Youtube videos to a girl he wanted to ask out, which lead to her blocking his number. So, he fucked your roommate, while you were still in the room. He calls you short tack, princess, anything but your name, making fun of the fact that he is taller than you. List of insults you call him is too long.

"I'm gonna head out" you stand up to leave.

"I'll come with you" Olivia left with you.

You take your favorite seat in the auditorium, noise of chatting students around you as you take out your laptop. The professor walks in, prepared to start the lecture. The room falling into gradual silence, then the door opens and Joost walks in. You watch him take his place further up, he notices you looking and flips you off. You mock him and flip him off back.

At the end of the lecture professor announces "As you all know the final paper consists of a group presentation. I took liberty and divided you into pairs. I will also email you the list." he pulls up the list on the projector screen. You search for your name. As soon you see it, the color drains from your face.

No. No, this must be a mistake.

A groan is heard from the back of the auditorium. "Professor, I am not working with her." Joost says annoyance clear in his voice. "Switch me to be with someone else."

You are sat in disbelief that you got assigned to write the final paper with Joost.

"This is a final list." Professor looks at the whole class. "Drop this attitude and act like grownups."

As the lecture ends, you hurry to the professors desk. "Sir, this is not going to work. He is going to sabotage my results. Can I just switch with someone?" you look at him with pleading eyes. "Anyone else."

"I assigned pairs randomly, so everyone has equal chances. You have to learn to work with everyone." he says. "This is final."

Joost rushes past us towards the exit. You roll your eyes. This can't be happening.

You meet with Olivia and tell her everything. She laughs in shock at first, but then insists you'll be fine, that you are adults and both want this done one way or another. You knew it’d be a miracle if Joost and you made it through 15 minutes of working on something together. 

You and Joost still haven't talked about it, as if pushing it to the last minute would solve the problem. It is halloween night, you are getting ready for the party, your costume is inspired by Britney Spears in her music video Baby one more time. You finish braiding your hair into two braids, fix your skirt, wait for Olivia and you head out to the party.

Loud music, neon lights, you already had a couple of drinks, feeling a nice buzz. Someone from the group of your friends suggests to play Spin the bottle.

"Hell yeah, let's do it." Max puts his hand around you. "C'mon grumps, you joining us?"

You push his hand away. "I am" you make kissing face at him. "Always dreamt of kissing you" your voice full of sarcasm. You and Max burst out laughing.

Your usual group of friends and a few people you met at the party find space in the house to set up the game, music still loud around you. Olivia brings the bottle, as you are all sitting in a circle, ready to start.

"Is there still space for me?" a voice behind you asks. You turn around to see Joost, his face painted to resemble a skull, he is wearing a black suit, which doesn't properly fit him and a red tie.

"Sure, man! We've been looking for you." Max makes room for Joost to sit next to him, opposite of you.

"I was a little busy with this girl I met." he says as he sits down. "Glad I found you guys just in time." his eyes find yours and he smirks.

"We are so lucky" you say contemplating if you should just leave. Olivia looks at you shaking her head as if trying to tell you "don't start it again", you roll your eyes.

For the past 15 minutes there was a lot of cheering as people kiss. Some give just a little peck, others fully commit, tongue and all. Max is currently making out with a girl from an acting class. Her hands are in his hair as they deepen the kiss.

"Okay okay. I am afraid you will start fucking soon." someone says. "I am not drunk enough to see that."

Everyone laughs and they pull apart, going back to their places.

It is your turn to spin the bottle, you down your drink and reach for the bottle. You give it a good spin, watching it, already knowing you will just give a little peck to whoever it lands on. The bottle slows and comes to a stop. You follow the neck of the bottle, it points to Joost. Everyone erupts into loud cheering and whistling.

"Finally!" someone says.

You look at Joost. Universe must be punishing you for something.

"Bring it on, princess." he messes up his hair. "Hope it's not gonna be your first kiss." he licks his lips.

"Pass." you say with a smile and cross your arms against your chess.

"No, that's not how this works" Max chimes in. "No skipping your turn."

You groan and look at the ceiling hoping you can just die on the spot.

Joost stands up and offers you his hand. "We will go somewhere private. Won't give you all a show. It is her first time, has to be special."

"Oh, shut up" you say. "Let's just move on, everyone"

"Just trust me." he kneels down next to you. "Can you do that for once?" he says looking into your eyes.

You stand up without his help and head towards the first room you see, you can hear his footsteps behind you.

You walk in and close the door behind you as he walks towards the window.

"I am not kissing you." you say.

"I wasn't planning on that" he replies and opens the window, he takes out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, puts one in between his lips and reaches for a lighter.

"You should quit that." you point at the cigarette in between his fingers.

He chuckles and takes a drag of a cigarette as you stand in silence.

"About that presentation.. " you start.

"I emailed the head of the department asking to let us switch partners." he looks down at his shoes. "He said no"

You look at him with your eyes wide.

"You would hate to work with me that much?" you ask shocked he went that far.

"I was doing it for the both of us. You know it would be a disaster. But since we are stuck together, promise me you won't fuck this up for us." he lifts his head up to look at you.

All of your anger returns. You can't believe you were about to offer him to put your differences behind you.

"Fuck you, Joost. Why do you think I would be the one to fuck this up? You are the unreliable one. Always gone somewhere doing fuckall with whoever." your hands ball into fists. "Fuck you" you say again and storm out of the room.

You leave the party without saying bye to anyone, you just need to go back to your room to calm down.

The street you walk back to the dorm is silent, lit up only by sporadic streetlights. It's late enough that everyone is already asleep or partying. Your head clears from the alcohol. You are deep in your thoughts, and suddenly you hear fast approaching footsteps behind you. You don't have enough time to realise what is happening, you feel a heavy hand on your shoulder. A flight or fight response kicks in and you scream, turn around and throw a punch, not risking waisting time to think about it.

Your fist connects with something.

"Ouch. You fucking bitch" you open your eyes to see Joost holding his cheek. It's not until you smell a familiar scent, cigarettes with cologne, your panic subsides a little. You think of how stupid your argument over the presentation was. The fear of being robbed or worse, has made you realise that Joost is not the enemy and never has been. Your hands start to shake and you burst into tears.

And then you hug him, your arms tight around his middle, he tenses but then wraps an arm around you, feeling you tremble.

"Hey, hey" his voice getting soft. "What's wrong with you" his other hand is still holding his cheek.

"I thought you were a murderer." you let go of him, still shaking.

"I called your name, you didn't hear?"

"No" you say "What are you doing here anyway?"

"No one knew where you disappeared to. I went looking for you." he says letting go of his cheek. The paint of a skull on his face has rubbed off from sweat throughout the night and you can see hints of red from where you hit. You start to feel sorry and embarrassed that you reacted that way. You reach out to him, but drop your hand before it reaches to touch his cheek.

"Let's not tell anyone about this." he suggests. "We can't give them the satisfaction of knowing you hit me"

It draws a laugh out of you and it makes him grin.

"It's the least I can do. I really am sorry, Joost."

"You are nuts for reacting like this...but I really didn't mean to scare you." he says. "Let me walk you home."

You walk together in silence.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier at the party." he says suddenly. "I realise I was kind of an asshole"

"Kind of?"

"Ok, yeah, I overreacted. I guess what i'm trying to say is.. Let's just do that presentation and not kill each other. I already felt your knuckles on my face, don't want that again"

You look at him, seeing the red mark again. "My room. 7pm tomorrow. Let's at least start it"

Olivia left to go to a friend’s place, you changed into comfortable pants and a cropped sweater. You sit at your desk, and wait. You’d told Joost to come at 7. 

There is a knock at 7:14.

"Come in" you say slight annoyance in your voice.

"I'm sorry, short stack"

"I was starting to think you weren't gonna come" you turn in your chair to face him.

"I'm here now" he says taking a seat next to you, smell of cigarettes filling the space.

"I started writing a rough plan." you show him what you wrote on your laptop.

After 30 minutes of you two working out an agenda for the presentation, Joost leans back on his chair. "Wow"

It makes you look at him. "What?"

"Look at us. Not arguing"

"It's only been like half an hour" you look at your watch. "The night is young"

Maybe he has brain damage from the punch, but he can’t lie to himself, that night after the party shifted things. Seeing you so terrified caused a change in him. Feeling your arms around him, clinging to him and trembling so hard, softened him towards you.

He catches himself thinking you look so good all wrapped up in your shared work. He hooks his foot around the leg of your chair and pushes you closer to him.

"What are you doing?" you push yourself back.

"Why are you so far away from me?"

"I am not. I am an appropriate distance from you." you look at him as if he is crazy.

He pushes you closer again and leans in. He acts on an instinct, closes the distance between you and crashes his lips against yours. You press your hands against his chest and push away.

"What the hell was that?" you ask touching your lips.

He is just as speechless as you are. Speechless, and confused, and out of breath, and so pretty. Has he always been that pretty? 

You grab onto the hem of his shirt and pull him back in, pressing your lips together in an aggressive collision. Joost's hands grip your waist and he urges you to straddle him. Without breaking the kiss you put your legs on each side of his and sit on top of his thighs. He grips your hair and deepens the kiss, earning a moan from you, which makes him push up into your clothed core. You feel him hardening.

Joosts hands slide down to your thighs, he scoops you up in his arms, standing up and lifting you up with him. Your legs are wrapped around his torso, your hands on his shoulders. He supports your weight so easily, all while sliding his tongue into your mouth. He carries you over to the bed, dropping you on top of the mattress. He looks down at you with a grin.

"These fuckers were right." he laughs. "We needed this" he leans back to you, his hands sneaking beneath your sweater, pushing it up until your bra is revealed. He looks into your eyes. "Is this okay?"

"Yes" you moan, "Please".

His pushes your bra down, enough to reveal your chest. His lips wrap around your nipple, wetting it with his tongue and applying light suction. A soft moan left your mouth, and you grip onto his hair. He can't stop himself from smiling. He sucks harder, just to hear you make some noise. Any noise.

You rubbed your thighs together for some relief. Joost noticed this and proceeded to stick his hand down your pants, fingers sliding underneath the band of your underwear. He smirks at how soaked you were already and rubs your clit as he licks a trail up to your neck. You tighten your thighs around his hand, gasping at the friction and pulling at the bedsheets. His cock is pressed against the zipper of his jeans, getting to the point that it was excruciating. So, as he massaged your clit, he undid his pants and pushed them down his legs. 

"Do you want to do this?" he looks at you.

"Yes." you reply with no hesitation. "Condoms are in the drawer."

He gets off the bed, finds the pack of condoms, tears the foil with his teeth, and watches you as he rolls the condom on himself. You’re absolutely gorgeous, better than he could have ever imagined.

"How do you want me, princess?” The nickname finally getting a new meaning.

"However you want it.”

"We are doing acrobatics then"

It startles a laugh out of you, and Joost thinks he might love that—the way he makes you laugh.

He takes off your pants together with the underwear, bends your leg, pushes it away from him, closer to you, which reveals your slick core to him.

“Gotta tell me how you want me, and fucking quick.” he groans, just the view of you makes him do mathematics in his head to stop from cumming on the spot.

"Missionary works me." you prop yourself on your elbows.

So he climbs onto you. He kneels between your legs, then pushes them apart obscenely wide. You stay propped up on your elbows, watching him, but when he settles between your thighs, you fall back against your pillow.

“Good?” he asks.

"You haven’t done much,” you point out. 

"Smart-ass.” He reaches down and grasps his cock at the base, and drags the tip through your folds. He coats himself in your arousal, feels the heat of your pussy even through the latex, then notches himself at your entrance. He looks down and pushes into you. He goes slow but steady, and he hears a small gasp fall from your lips.

He remembers the way you clung to him that night, and he wants to capture that feeling again.

He picks up a steady pace, holding your legs apart, kissing your neck. One of his hands makes its way to your clit again, you arch your back as he starts to draw circles around it.

He feels you clench around him. "Joost. I'm so close" you moan and he watches you come undone beneath him, proud of himself — to the point of cockiness. Giving you a few more forceful pumps, he hides his face in your neck, and releases himself into the condom.

You want to remember this forever. Him panting, moaning in your ear. He taps the side of your thigh, pulls out and throws out the condom. You watch him pull up his jeans and sit down at the desk again.

"Let's do this thing"

You and Joost are sitting next to each other in the cafeteria. Max and Olivia join you.

"Look, both are still alive!" Max jokes.

"How did it go yesterday?" Olivia asks looking between the two of you.

A deep blush spreads across your cheeks.

"Wait." Max looks at you, then at Joost. "Did you two...?"

"No way!" Olivia gasps.

"Ok, shut up guys." Joost says

"You owe me 20 bucks" Max says to Olivia.

"Fuck!" Olivia exclaims

"You bet on us?"

"Last year!" Max takes the money from Olivia.

[zaynes-nieve]

Spoilers for all of Thorns Under the Moon

Back into Aether core lore. Let's go!!!

We got some new hunter models

Bruhhhh, even Carter's model looks slimey 😭

Zayne did not want me to take those flowers lmfao. Not that I would. Who tries to poach people's patients wtf

Yeahh we already know Carter is batshit insane.

This entire scenario is a little too much like Finding Tobias 😭

Greyson showing us the videos of the hospital and this dimensional Wanderer is making so obvious we about to isekaied into DawnBreaker world bruh.

I'm tried of people playing god with these protocores especially cause Astra is an asshole 😭

Yooo Zayne and Greyson in scrubs???? My man is great with his hands lmfaoo. No but fr really good surgeon ten out of ten, no one is better than my boy Zayne.

God damn these metafluxes wtffff. Where tf is this Wanderer.

Not the Wanderer taking out a sandwich. What do you mean he woke up???? Ain't no way he is awake already. Wtf is Xander Sciences doing???

This man is raving mad. Wtf is the dawn breaker world. Is it an alternative universe? A spliting timeline? In the future? In the past? Now yall telling me it's a protocore dream?

Oh shit we finally fighting this Wanderer? Or we getting....yup we got isekaied now the question is...

Dude is that Zayne or Zayne.

Cause he is wearing the Dawnbreaker fit. I think he is straight up lying to my face rn. He is trying to pretend that he is our Zayne. Or is it our Zayne stuck in Dawn Breaker. Or are we not even in Dawn Breaker world just Zaynes dream.

Bruh this dreamception is too big brain for me at 8 am in the morning.

This is definitely Dawn Breakers house. It's got those weird energy drinks. But Our Zayne could have easily seen this just like Dawn Breaker could see our Zaynes life. Idk anymore.

Lying about the chocolate is crazy work. Not carrot flavored 🥕🍫

I'm like 85% certain this is Dawn Breaker. He is just slightly enough different to be not our Zayne at least fully. But the dark ice and light ice is confusing me again. Are they merged in this one? Cause William is our Zayne, but George and his mother is Dawn Breaker

Also this resonance isn't it. To me it doesn't look like it's working very well. Especially when It looks like we got knocked out cause of it. Also he is taking the ice from us. So is it like an Astra thing or when we do that resonance to take the ice from Zayne we end up taking it for ourselves?

Also, I haven't fought with a non-exclusive companion in so long. Seeing the Dawnbreaker fighting set is crazy again XD. Just make him an exclusive set, too, with the myth story I beg 🙏🏾

It's implied that we know that that wasn't our Zayne. So I guess that was Dawn Breaker. It isn't the first time that they've made reference to the fact that we can recognize Dawn Breaker as separate from our Dr.Zayne either. But Zayne was also sucked into the protofield, too.

Zayne needs his rest. I hope he won't have anymore nightmares 😔

Ain't no way that Wanderer was summoned by that fucking tool, are you kidding me??? Bruh when I get my hands on Carter, Xander Scicnes and fuckign Ever. I swear I'm pulling up with a demolition squad.

[madrone33]

THE WISDOM SAGA IS OUT AHHHH

It was SO much better than I anticipated. Like, I knew it'd be amazing to listen to - 'cause practically all of Jorge's stuff is - but I was less attached to Telemachus as a character than Ody, so while I was settled in for a fun time I wasn't as invested as I had been for the previous sagas.

Little. Did. I. Know.

HOW DO THE SAGAS JUST KEEP BEING SO GOOD LIKE WHAT JORGE DO YOU SLEEP

Anyway, now that it's officially out for everyone, here's 1000+ words worth of excited screeching/rambling/word vomit from my immediate reaction to the audio, when it released at midnight for me! (I'm australian, so I got it 15 hours ahead of the americans lol, but also means I hadn't seen the animatics from the Live at this point)

Also, heads up there's a lot of swearing and I wasn't very coherent, 'cause my brain-to-type filter was non-existent at midnight while in the middle of a HYPE adrenaline rush lol

I feel so awake rn, even though it's midnight lol.

Started smiling as soon as I heard him. He sounds so GOOD!! MICO you're knocking it out of the park!

"Come and give me a sign!" Ayyy the Athena motif!!

Ooh they merged MICO's audition way of saying "if you're dead... or just tooo far"!

"Can I do whatever I takes to keep my mum safe?" aww don't worry bebe Athena's coming!

"Where is the man who'll have to wife?" ooh they really did use the Man of the House lines!

And they dropped that it's been 20 years! That's good, a proper timeline needed to be established at this point or newcomers might get confused.

ohhh shit! That growled "Boy!"

(Also, edit from after I watched the Livestream: HE DID NOT JUST THROW A BOWL AT MY BOY OH HELL NO-)

"Why don't you open her room so we can" oh FUCK OFF ANTINOUS!

oh the LINE! The CHAMP line!

"If I fight this monster" THS MONSTER! It changed from those monsters to this monster, because while he might be having fun thinking of conquering distant monsters out in the world, the real monster is living in his home and he needs his father's strength more than ever and AHHH

(Another edit from post Live: he decided to fight for his mum's honour and thought he'd get a beatdown or DIE in the attempt and STILL put his fists up oh my goddd!! And also, HIM STEPPING INTO THE SPIRIT OF HIS FATHER AHHH)

Ok I hate Antinous already. Like, I really love his voice, it's perfect, Ayron did amazing, but Antinous? What the FUCK! FUCK HIM! And I decided I love Telemachus. He sounds so helpless in that last line 🥺 ATHENA STEP IN!

Listening to Little Wolf now! Oh god I'm scared for Tele

(Edit post Live: YOOO IT'S FULL ON STREET FIGHTER STYLE!)

"Wanna entertain me?" oh EW Antinous!

I just have a permanent stink face on rn lol

"Wanna entertain me?" Still ew, but also aww he didn't do the growl like in the demo

Clock sound effect! ATHENA!!!

she's giving TE/MO type vocal vibes, more than Act 1 Athena lol

"What's going on here??" lmao he's confused about Quick-Thought, like ody wasn't

"Uppercut him. Now." AYYYY FIGHT ADVICE

she's doing the verse melody but for him!

wait what'd she say? "I've no respect for bullies! Those who [something something] will!"

SHE CALLED HIM A DOG HA! What's a dog to a wolf hey antinous >:)

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined!" awww Athena <3

YES!! SHE'S SINGING THE CHORUS BUT IN HIS FAVOUR!!

the HARMONIES!!

"Oooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard..." lol she's too used to ody who is used to her

oh FUCK OFF antinous!

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid..." wait WAIT HE SUNG THE "what keeps you up so late at night myyy friend?" MELODY??? HOLY SHIT!!

Ok that was awesome. We'll Be Fine time!

SHE CALLED ODY HER FRIEND!!

OMG SHE'S DOING THE "MIIIND" RIFF!!

awww she regrets <3

NO THE "SLEEP AT NIGHT" CALLING BACK TO ALL THOSE TIME ODY COULDN'T SLEEP FROM REGRET

omg but her HIGH notes

ooh? 👀 The line changed from "sailed to an island" to "and I didn't die?? What does this mean for HTD's "I heard he's on a diplomatic mission" line?

oh now HIS high notes!!

THEIR HARMONIES!!

awww their motifs mixing! <3 <3

(Edit post Live: lmao him trying to lean on her shoulder and accidentally falling through her instead XD)

Well that was nice! Time for LIP... What am I in for bro

AHA I was RIGHT! The music from the cover art reveal IS here at the start of this song!

OH HOLY HSIT NOT HIS "REMEMBER ME" OMG WAIT GO BACK

The "ohhhh" motif from Remember Them!

TIME DIVE! WITH LYRICS!

oh yo! THESE scenes! We called the Sirens, Scylla, and Thunder Bringer on the discord, but the lines that are being used are INTERESTING

(Edit post Live: the animatics are going CRAZY this saga!)

calypso time...

Ooh calypso's voice is much gentler than the snippets! (I'm determined to not let my bias against her character in the Odyssey colour how I feel about her performance, because Wangui is a lovely person, and her voice is beautiful.)

lmao the awkwardly long pause and then "... ANWAYS!" is always funny XD

the electronic elements when she reveals what she is!

"Time can take a heavy toll." uh oh what's that mean

Damn not the "all I hear are screams"-

...

... holy fuck. Um. My jaw literally dropped what. What. Ok first, her "ody" fuck that. Second, the LEDGE?? Um. UM. I need to rewind please

Oh shit

Oh my goddd JUST LET HIM GO

NOT THE OPEN ARMS NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT POLITES OMG EURYLOCHUS OH FUCK ANTICLEA TOO OH SHIT

no him calling for athena! 😭

the slow clock omgggg

YES GO HELP HIM HE NEEDS HELP

... wait I need to rewind wait shit I'm shaking

ok. Pause. That was.

I guess I called correctly, but it turned out to be a BIT of an understatement when I said there'd be an UNEXPRECTED EMOTIONAL MOMENT! What the FUCK. Oh god that was incredible and I teared up and ah fuck wtf fuck who gave him the RIGHT

TIme for God Games. Shit. Am I ready for Beast Mode Zeus??? No. But I'm doing it anyway! :D

ok that was beautiful. Also her calling him "father" was unexpected but welcome

"... Odysseus." commander motif!!

god I love his voice but I hate him

ok I love how he says "AphroDITE!" I'm smiling, I'm getting into this

also, wait why does he say "or" instead of "and" like the snippets did?

The voice teasers! Ah shit I can't believe I'm going to HEAR THEIR VERSES IN A FEW SECONDS WHAT. Also Hera's voice is VERY interesting!

Apollo? YO?? Wait wait I have to go back and actually listen to the words lmao his voice is cool!

oh the sirens??

Huh. I... don't really get that logic? Athena just said "yeah but they had it coming and now they'll know better" and he replied "understandable have a nice day"?

wow what is that accent? Lemme go back and understand lol

damn those went by quick. Also, not what I'd thought their issues would be. Tho I think someone called the sirens one!

ooh wait I've always loved aphrodite's, this is BEAUTIFUL. I need to go back to the start of the song so I can get her full impact after pausing so much.

ohhh she's the first one to reject athena!

Ares!!

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND!"oop you done fucked up ares

oh I LIKE hera's voice! It's kinda airy but still hella powerful!

damn my jaw hurts from smiling

I hear cheering 👀

ohhh THAT'S what he meant by "or"! Athena was supposed to face either the five gods or Zeus?

"You DARE to defy me!" DAMN Zeus! That growl!

THUNDER BRINGER CHORUS!

lightning bolt to the face lmao

oh? The Wotm motif?

wait. Is the. Is this the "anime character on brink of death thinks of their friends and powers up" moment???

(Edit post Live: shit, zeus. Someone call CPS)

"Let him go..." oh wait that's IT?? NO WHAT SHIT

... lemme hear that end bit again.

WAIT reading through the comments and JORGE'S DAD VOICES HEPHAESTUS?? HOLY SHIT THAT'S EPIC! Now we just need his sister lol.

Oh that's right, I can see the cast now! Brandon McInnis as Apollo, POSEY as Hera, and Mike Rivera as Hephaestus. Nice.

It's 1 am now. Holy shit that was a wild ride. Damn. Hats off to Jorge and all the cast and editors and EVERYONE, that was absolutely incredible!! 💙🙌🏼🎉

... but also JORGE! WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE-

[dailywilliams]

yooo... stop hitting bambi or i swear to god

[troutberryspoon]

Unhallowed Heart - Chapter 6: 'In dreams'

Gortash and Villi are named as their Gods' Chosen [or, Gortash gets caught in a lie] Warnings - depictions of drunkenness

(I was fully planning on there being some smut here but the word count ran away with me. Next chapter I swear)

Word count - 3076

Full fic here on AO3

Later that night.

‘I know we’re a…we’re a murder cult…but why’s this party sooo dead?’ Villi laughed at his own joke. Ha, he was hilarious. He raised a chalice to his lips, only to pout when nothing came out. ‘Sceleritas! Ya lil’ bugger…where– oh, there you are…wine’s gone.’

Sceleritas studiously ignored the empty vessel that was being waggled under his nose. ‘I think it might be time for you to retire to your chambers, Master.’

‘An’ I think it’s time for yooo-uuu to get me s’more wine,’ Villi said with another drunken giggle. He tried to place the chalice on his Butler’s top hat, missing by quite some way and watching sadly as it cracked on the stone floor. ‘Ah, cockrot. S’your fault, that. You moved.’

‘I assure you–’

‘Fuckit, I’m goin’ to bed anyway, I’m dyin’ of boredom.’ Villi heaved himself out of his chair, only for the ground to swell and roll beneath his feet. ‘Hells. Gettin’ choppy in ‘ere. Bed ahoy!’

Sceleritas carefully guided the giggling Bhaalspawn to his chamber, grabbing his leg when a wobble threatened to become a faceplant.

‘Get yer claws off me arse,’ Villi muttered, making a half-hearted swipe for the fiend’s head. His hand met empty air.

‘Nearly there. I do wish you wouldn’t let yourself get into such a state.’

‘Say one word about proper conduct an’ I’ll…I’ll kick yer teeth in.’ Villi pitched forward once his bed was within falling distance, dropping gratefully into its piles of soft cotton and feather bedspreads. He hummed happily. He would never ever take a comfy, clean bed for granted. Not ever. ‘I used to sleep in straw, y’know,’ he said, muffled by a pillow.

Sceleritas started to remove Villi’s boots. ‘I know,’ he said.

‘We all had lice.’

‘I know. Those days are long behind you now, my Liege. You will find a carafe of water on the nightstand–’

‘I miss the parties we had, though.’ Villi rolled over, wrapping himself in a blanket as he went, still fully dressed but now minus his boots. The room continued to spin even when he stopped rolling and held onto the side of the bed. ‘Here, no-one drinks, not like I do. There’s no music. No-one dances. They’re all miserable getz. We should be celebrating.’

‘But we are celebrating! Sister Nudvaoi recited the full Prayer of Crimson, there are some truly rousing stanzas in that one,’ Sceleritas said. ‘It always gives me the tingly goosebumps.’

‘Ugh. Piss off.’

The bed was bobbing about on unruly seas. Villi closed his eyes but it just made the feeling worse. At least Sceleritas had vanished when he opened them again. He yawned, wondering how he’d ever manage to fall asleep while his brain sloshed around in a vat of wine, and started to hum a song he remembered from his years sleeping under the stars:

Under moon's twisted grin, we dance and sing,

For warrakul hearts know only one thing.

When dawn breaks, we'll vanish like smoke on the breeze,

Back to our shadowed lairs, where secrets appease.

So raise your tankards high, let the plunder be sung,

For warrakul hearts beat fierce, forever wild and young.

And then he was out.

___

He awoke with a rough gasp, freezing cold and completely sober. As he pushed himself upright his hands slapped polished stone: he was no longer in his comfortable bed. He was lying on a slab, or some kind of altar. It was dark.

‘Sceleritas?’ His voice bounced back unanswered from unseen walls, mocking him.

He swung his legs from the slab, stood up, and looked around. Anger percolated in his chest, thick and hot. He wondered who would dare to take him from his chambers, dress him in a long black robe he didn’t recognise, and lay him out like a winter solstice buffet. Whoever it was had made a horrible mistake.

‘Sceleritas?’ he called again, this time louder, sharper.

Red, unnatural flames flickered to life along the cavernous walls, adding not so much illumination as a deeply unsettling atmosphere.

‘The Butler is not here.’

The voice was blood, torn flesh, grasping fingers, the rattle of a last breath.

Villi’s insides twisted in fear and awe. He turned around, searching for the voice’s source.

The man stood by the head of the altar, watching him. And it was an altar, now that Villi could see it in full view. A burly man with long, unkempt black hair, a full bristling beard, and hatred in his eyes.

‘My Lord Bhaal,’ Villi said, his breath leaving him in a rush.

‘Child. Here we stand at last. I am about to name you my Chosen.’

Villi bowed his head. ‘I am honoured–’

‘It was not my choice.’

‘M-my Lord?’

Prowling with a wolf’s hunger, Bhaal circled his spawn. ‘It is too soon, but I lost a wager. To Bane. He wanted to test a new follower, one he claimed was a master manipulator. The test? You.’

‘I don’t understand…’ Villi feared that he did understand, all too well. ‘Do you mean the alliance? I can explain–’

‘The alliance I can forgive. The alliance I expected. Such a pact is not worth the vellum it is written on. I told Bane as such. I wanted to wager something I thought would be impossible. I said to him: I see your pact and I raise you… a kiss.’

Villi’s stomach lurched and dropped in a sickening freefall.

‘My only living child. I was certain you could not be tempted by the poisoned honey that oozes from the axe wound of a Banite’s mouth.’

‘I–I didn’t–’

‘Silence.’

Bhaal didn’t shout. Didn’t yell. The command was delivered with the same measured, growling tone as the rest of his words, but the force of it drove Villi to his knees. A hand of iron bit relentlessly into his jaw, dragging his gaze up to the harrowing pits of his Father’s eyes. Endless misery danced there, twin daggers burning into his skull.

‘Now, tonight, I must name you my Chosen, as Bane names this Enver Gortash his. And you and I, child, will be pressed into their service. Those were the stakes.’

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry! My Lord–’

‘Listen to me. You are my weapon. When we discover what their plan is–for I know Bane always has a plan when he seeks me–you will kill the Banite Chosen. You will find a way to raise an army fit to mutilate this world in my name. You will not fail me again.’

‘I swear–’

White hot pain obliterated the rest of Villi’s assurances to his Father. The sound of his jawbone cracking beneath Bhaal’s grip was drowned out by a howl of agony that seemed to come from a long distance away, even if he knew, on some level, that he was the one screaming. Every bone, muscle, and sinew writhed and snapped, his skin split, his organs boiled.

Just when he thought he would be driven mad by the pain, or die from it, it stopped.

Perhaps he had died.

Tentatively, he lifted his head. No, he was not dead. He was still in the same dark, cavernous hall, curled in a ball on the frigid stone floor. His head felt huge and heavy. His mouth contained too many teeth. He unfurled quickly at the shock of realisation, raising himself up to his full height, towering over his Father.

He held out his hands and counted four of them, wickedly clawed. Diving around behind himself in a tight corkscrew he caught a glimpse of his new tail before it whipped out of sight.

Bhaal had granted him His Slayer form. Oh, how Villi had dreamed of this moment. 

The pain had been a just punishment, he knew that now. A warning. In the future it wouldn’t hurt in the same way to change shape, but if he fell short of his Father’s expectations again then it could be far, far worse.

Villi chittered happily at the God of Murder; grateful, honoured, determined to make Him proud.

‘You will follow me,’ Bhaal said, striding towards a huge archway that Villi hadn’t noticed before. 

He dropped to all fours–wait, all sixes, on account of the extra arms–and loped behind his Father, thrilled with the way keen muscles bunched and lengthened beneath his wickedly spiked hide.

They headed outside to a vast ledge situated high on the side of a mountain. The surrounding lands were blanketed by snow, marred only by knife slash pine trees. There was a surprising lack of wind out on the ledge. Villi would expect to be buffeted by strong gusts of icy air this high up, but there was nothing. Only an eerie calm.

A shrine of sorts had been hacked out of the mountainside. Black wax candles burned with flames of red and of purple in the rudimentary alcoves. A third of the candles remained unlit. Somehow Villi knew they would burn with a green flame when the time was right.

Gortash was standing near the shrine, dressed in the same kind of black robe Villi had found himself in before his transformation. With him was another man, one who radiated an aura of cruelty. He was tall, thick-set, with silver hair and a well-groomed beard. Dashingly handsome. He must be Bane, the God of Tyranny, Gortash’s master.

Gortash turned as they drew closer, looking up at Villi’s monstrous form in admiration. He said a few words under his breath and while Villi didn’t know the language, he recognised the sound of cursing when he heard it. A guttural snarl that trailed into a series of questioning clicks left his throat in return.

Ah. He had forgotten that he couldn’t speak. He wanted to demand answers. He had so many questions, chief among them being: Was it all just a ruse for a wager between their Gods? And: Aren't you already Bane's Chosen?

Those questions would have to wait until he had a functional larynx.

‘I see you have already bestowed your ‘gift’ upon your spawn, my old friend,’ Bane said to Bhaal, as the Gods eyed each other like a pair of veteran, bare-knuckle prize fighters. ‘Getting a head start, eh?’

‘Let us conclude our business,’ Bhaal growled.

‘As you wish. Enver Gortash, I name you my Chosen. Where the weak falter, the strong shall prevail. You are my Black Hand; I will wield you to shape the world as I see fit. Fear, hatred, and control are your weapons,’ Bane said.

Gortash inclined his head. ‘Thank you, my Lord.’

‘Child, I name you my Chosen,’ Bhaal said to Villi. ‘All is ash and meat. You are my Slayer; savage the world in my name. Pave my path with corpses, and build my castle with bones.’

Villi gave a hard growl of acknowledgement, flicking his tail from side-to-side as he committed this moment to his deepest memories. He would remember this night until the end of everything.

Bane turned back to Bhaal. ‘Now. Old friend. Do you enter again into my service, as per the terms of our agreement?’

‘Yes,’ Bhaal said, quickly, as if to prevent the word’s bitterness from lingering on his tongue.

Villi huffed, ashamed that his actions had forced his Father into this situation. He hadn’t meant to make a noise but seemed unable to hide his feelings in this form, every emotion telegraphing itself through unwitting vocalisations or the movement of his tail. Maybe in time he would learn to control it.

Bane was looking at Gortash again. ‘It is done. You will have to make good on your promise, Enver Gortash, or you will face my wrath.’

Glancing at Gortash, Villi added another question to the list. What had the Banite promised his God?

‘Of course, my Lord. You have my guarantee,’ Gortash said.

A change came over Bane then, swift and subtle. The avuncular expression in his eyes fell away, replaced by a stinging, sadistic lash. ‘My guarantee is your soul, which will be mine to twist and torture until eternity’s end. Do not forget that.’

‘Absolutely,’ Gortash replied smoothly, unruffled as always.

‘We’re done here,’ Bhaal said gruffly, waving a hand at Villi.

Wait…

Villi started forward, not yet ready to leave, and everything went black.

___

He floated in darkness. No time, no space. No sounds, no sights.

Nothing.

Until…a smell.

The savoury, mouthwatering smell of cooked meat; smoked ham, or something similar.

He surfaced from the dreamless darkness towards the smell, blinking open dry, sticky eyes, only to be assaulted by the sight of Sceleritas’s nasty visage not ten inches from his nose.

Villi inhaled sharply. ‘Balyag-zaar!’

‘Master! You’re awake,’ Sceleritas said, grinning from fiendish ear to fiendish ear. ‘Jubilant day!’

Villi shoved himself away from the Butler, getting tangled in a blanket as he did so. The hammerblow of a hangover started to ring his skull like a bell. He closed his eyes again and groaned.

‘I have a herbal tonic here, mi’lord. That and your legendary constitution will have you feeling as perky as an abyssal chicken in no time,’ Sceleritas said as he held out a chalice brimming with a deep purple liquid.

Villi took it and drank. It tasted mildly of anise. He tried to recall snatches of the dream he had last night. Images tickled his mind, scattering like a shoal of glittering fish as he grasped for them.

‘Ahem. I hear congratulations are in order,’ Sceleritas said.

Then Villi remembered. He was Bhaal’s Chosen. In an instant he was out of bed and on his feet, sweeping the Butler up under his arms to whirl him around with a grin. ‘He made me his Chosen!’

Sceleritas cackled. ‘I am so proud of you!’

Oh no. The spinning had been a bad idea. Villi dropped the imp and pressed a hand to his mouth as it flooded with saliva and a bubble of bile threatened to make an unwelcome appearance.

‘Deep breaths in through your nose, master,’ Sceleritas advised from the floor.

Villi sat heavily on the edge of the bed, concentrating hard on not vomiting up the herbal mixture that he could already feel working. More memories came back to him, and shame threw a bucket of cold water over his initial joy.

‘Oh, gods. Sceleritas, I did something awful. I mean awful, awful, not good, awful.’

‘Whatever do you mean?’ Sceleritas asked. Having picked himself up he now stood by Villi’s knee, with a cup of water in one hand and a plate loaded with breakfast in the other. Smoked meat and thick slices of bread that had been toasted over an open flame until the edges were almost black, with fresh butter and mustard on the side.

‘Father said–he said it wasn’t his choice. It was too soon. But he lost a wager…and it was my fault. I failed him.’

‘No, no,’ Sceleritas said. ‘If you had failed Lord Bhaal he would have either taken your body for his own use or drained you of your vile, precious blood and torn what was left of you to pieces. Furthermore, I would despise you. None of those things have come to pass, have they? You may have disappointed him, but he loves you still because I love you still. You are his Chosen.’

‘That’s…I suppose…’

‘What did you do? It’s not the first time your Father has had to pledge himself to Bane’s service. There’s always some game or a wager lost and–happy times–we’re back in a war against the Realm. History repeats itself. Do try a sip of water, mi’lord.’

Villi took the cup and downed half of the water before looking sheepishly at the Butler. ‘I kissed the Banite.’

‘O, history repeats itself…’ Sceleritas muttered.

‘Pardon?’

‘Hm? I mean…They’re foul tricksters, those of Bane. Liars, manipulators of the worst kind. No scruples.’

‘I don’t have any scruples,’ Villi pointed out.

‘That’s not the same. You do it with style, mi’lord,’ Sceleritas said. ‘For the right reasons. Not them. You might think it was your choice to…do what you did, but I assure you, it will have been orchestrated by the Banite from the very beginning. You should not blame yourself, not for one moment.’

Taking the plate of food, Villi mulled over the Butler’s words. He picked up a piece of meat and took a bite. ‘I think it was my choice, though,’ he said, with his mouth full.

‘Exactly, that’s how manipulative and slimy they are,’ Sceleritas said. ‘Speaking of which; should I have a bath drawn for you?’

‘Mmhm.’ Villi nodded, before quickly swallowing. ‘But one more thing. My Father referred to me as his only living child last night. Did Orin die?’

‘Lady Orin? No, she is in the reliquary making use of one of the recovered racks if I’m not mistaken.’

‘Then what did he mean?’

Sceleritas hesitated. ‘Well, you are your Father’s Chosen now. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm…’

‘Butler.’ Villi felt his patience slipping.

‘Yes, yes. So you see, Lady Orin’s unholy blood comes to her by the way of her grandfather. Lord Bhaal is not her direct sire. Your Father learned his lesson after the debacle with The Five. No more offspring. One single pureblood spawn was the plan this time,’ Sceleritas said. ‘Lady Orin is unaware of this fact.’

‘Oh,’ Villi said. His sister was even more of a mongrel than he thought. ‘Then, who is her father?’

‘I don’t know. I have my suspicions but her blood is…murky. It makes it difficult to sniff out the truth, as it were. She is still your kin, however.’

It didn’t make much of a difference. Well, not to Villi, anyhow. He was Bhaal’s favoured child. It would matter more to Orin, however; she was very proud of her blood, of their bond, of their Father . It might be prudent to keep hold of this information–this gift–to use against her in the future, Villi thought.

‘I’m glad she’s not dead,’ he said. ‘I cannot wait to see the look on her face when I tell her that I’m the Chosen one. I know she always thought it would be her.’

‘And I always knew it would be you, master,’ Sceleritas said fondly. He sniffed. ‘Oh, look at that, I’m getting all misty-eyed. I will away, mi’lord, and draw a bath fit for a Slayer.’

Pop. He vanished.

Villi continued his breakfast, running through all of the questions he intended on asking Gortash later.

[volivolition]

YOOO GUESS WHAT NEW CHAPTER OF A SHATTERED MIRROR!! :DDD

!!!!!! :DDD YESSSSS FUCK YES, HYPEEEEEEE!!!!!! <3333 BIRDY WE'RE FINDING OUR FUCKING GUN THIS CHAPTER I SWEAR TO GOD GFSHGFG

ITS CALLED THE INFERNAL ENGINE!!!!! WEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333

OKAY I WON'T LIVEBLOG IN THIS ASK BUT ALSO [POINTS AT THEM EXCITEDLY]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY DARLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER!!! HGKJG

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i feel like it’s cheating to say kenji for the ask game cause everyone will (unless they Didnt. then please do). but also yosano for the ask game!!

yosano

first impression: yooo erica lindbeck! okay, okay! i know i'll love her and also omg her design is GORGEOUS what the heck also oh god poor ginger snow guy yikes but have fun ig???

impression now: HIIIIII BESTIE OMG um okay so let's kill m*ri together, kay? and then um you should wear a suit bc i think you'd look SO GOOD IN A SUIT!!! also ily btw you are super cool and omgi wanna see your character get explored with guilt bc is hurting people to heal them traumatic at all for you??? i just. oiuyftdrtfgyuhioiuygtfyghuijo i miss youuuuuuuuu

favorite moment: oh gosh... well, i love the moment when yosano greeted atsushi and was like "wanna come shopping with me" and everyone Zoomed out of the room lol but like also... the moment in s4 after the agency got framed and so she, kunikida, kenji, kyouka, and jun killed themselves but they weren't exactly dead yet and then she revived them all like healed them all that scene is just. SO GOOD??? HELLO??? MISS MA'AM ILYSM??? it was just SO DOPE and also SO PRETTY???

idea for a story: hmm i don't have too many yosano fic ideas, but i would like to maybe write a yosano & ranpo found sibling fic sometime or like... a yosano & jun'ichirou fic like idk what it would be about, but i think the two of them interacting would be very interesting. ooooh or a chaotic yosano & kajii friendship fic where they torment everyone with their "friendship" bc they SWEAR they aren't friends!!!

unpopular opinion: i really hate the yosano x k.oyou ship. so much. i cannot STAND it. i would rather yosano never date or be in a relationship with anyone than have her and k.oyou be a thing. also yosano isn't sadistic

favorite relationship: (non-romantic) this is hard bc i instinctively want to say yosano & kajii just bc i think they should become friends after the train incident bc i think they would be the most CHAOTIC friends fr imagine the science-y things they could do together... two people who wouldn't get hurt by kajii's explosions... ough... but also like. yosano & ranpo bc. DUH!!! i mean... ranpo changed her life fr and they are SIBLINGS okay wait here's another unpopular opinion for y'all: the ranpo & yosano are siblings tag should have OS MANY MORE FICS IN IT than the dazai & yosano are siblings tag. i mean. hello??? ranpo is RIGHT THERE???

favorite headcanon: yosano is a trans lesbian and she and ranpo are literally siblings and she gets chronic migraines which sucks bc she can't heal those and also she once lost her watch in jun'ichirou and yes that is a reference to a fic i read once but it made me giggle so hard that it's canon to me now~ oh and also she had a one night stand with agatha christie <333

[rosegoldenatlas]

its a weekend and usualy i might stay up later but i got so little sleep last night im just going to bed now.

things were both better and worse today

started out awful

but now im at my usual levels of meh so thats an improvement

ive recently been feeling bad over my ex which is. well its not that new but like its a lot of emotions ive been trying to ignore for a while that are now bubbling up to the surface (i made a few rant posts to try to get them off my chest though)

been lonely and lazy as ever but hey what can you do

although my parents are gone tomorow and i dont have to see them for the next 2 weeks! (though im going to be staying with my aunt and grandparents who. arent much better.)

anyways

im gonna get some sleep

you should get some sleep

hope you have a good day tomorow

stay awesome

Yas sleep my queen.

Well at least it evened out? The optimism in me is trying I swear. *logician takes the stage as per usual* if every day is just a tiny bit better than the last then eventually youll have a nice day or even a good day, that's just math. There will be bad days or bad moments but those don't have to control your entire day. Like when my parents called me fat and unattractive (the words were a little more flowery but still) or when they invalidated my gender presentation and sexuality (thank the gods I'm not out to them yet) There were some good parts of that day too! Like when they said 'the chemicals in the water turn the frogs gay' and 'vaccines cause autism' AND 'the estrogen in processed food is making men gay and feminine??' I had to try so hard not to burst out laughing. And I read a really good fanfic later that day.

Ughhh feelings over Exes suck. Try pinpointing the things you miss about them. For me it was a lot of the physical touch and the reassuring words and the times they would let me rant to them. Then you try to find outlets for those things, I asked my friends if they were okay for hugs and more physical touch, I asked if it was okay go rant to them if they got to rant back, I gave them reassuring words and then so did they. I'm glad that rant posts help you a lot too.

Yass engage in the sin of sloth with me my queen. Its great here.

YOOO THATS GREAT. As for the grandparents and aunts thing uh are they the type to just leave you be more often than not. That's how mine are but idk.

Day isn't gonna be too great. My family is forcing me to go swimming with them while I am sick (I have a really bad cough still but other than that I'm almost better yay) and also on my period (I get really bad cramps, like I can barely walk without pain meds kind) because 'fresh air will make you better!' (It usually makes it worse for me actually). But at least its usually only for three or so hours so not too too bad.

You stay royal your majesty.

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 49 Notes-

Heheheh I had a snow day so I got to listen early!!!!!!!!!!!

THE INTRO SONG OMG

We are winning with the dndads music lately hehehe

“Like there’s a Druid in my mind saying it’s gonna be oak” SOBBING

Oak this is a bop actually

Holy shit there were so many things bad that happened to normal lately 😭 

They’re in the past!!!!!! Oh my goddddddd

Taylor’s Teen Fact: Taylor was the runner up of the Teen High Teen of the Year award (which Margarita Pizza won). Taylor is a very good cup stacker (third place in a competition)

We forget that Taylor is canonically the most popular kid 

Freddie’s facts are always the craziest of all time. I love it

Linc’s Teen Fact: Linc had to do things other than soccer playing so Marco and Grant got him into artsy stuff. Of course he only would pain/sculpt soccer type things. So he decided to start selling them on Next Door (with an account called Foot King). Marco and Grant took him off of the app. He’s a good painter basically

Normal’s Teen Fact: Normal always keeps his hot glue gun on him

Scary’s Teen Fact: Scary doesn’t have a New Years Resolution because she decided it was too resolute (too firm, too definite). She wants to be able to choose whether or not to do something 

Daddy Fact: Anthony’s goal is to write a porn thing and he was reached out to by a porn website to write for them. He was gifted a care package (picture as you will)

He’s already written the script 😭 

OH SHIT TAYLOR AND SCARY AREN’T WITH THEM

Ooohh AU where they ARE the four horseman of the apocalypse 

THE DOLPHIN CULT YAYYYYYYYYYYAGAJAHHSJDND

Sitcom staring the Porpy and Flippy: Cop sidekicks

NO DOOD HAS DOODLERIZED EVERYONEEEEEE

Well Willy did but whatever

Screw Willy

Grill Master the Dolphin!!!!!!! Ayyyyyy

Dang Willy is God

They’re in a five person (well four person now) marriage don’t judge the dolphins!!!!

Awww they’re only like. Fifteen. 

Heh Glenn Close/Jodie Foster (a good guy) in charge of Hell, Willy Stampler (a bad guy) in charge of Heaven

Yoooo wait the FBI is apart of the Hell now 

Lark still hates Henry omg

Sparrow!!! Omg 

Normal and Scary are so similar omg omg omg

Damn Good Omens much

What is it with Willy getting at the Oaks?

OH IS IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE PART OF DOOD IN THEM!?!?!?

“Brother” AYYY THEYRE BACK

The codependents of all time

HENRY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This dumb spell my goodness I love their debate

Why are they so set on killing Henry 😭 

Oh only 49 damage that’s not that bad 

TAYLOR BREAKS LARKS ANCLE OMG

Scary noooooooo

SPIDER BOIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Scary’s gonna die 😭 😭 😭 😭 

Taylors such an ass omg

Scary got 44 damage 

“I say no once in six years of podcasting” 

TEHYRE ON FUREEEEEBSJAJAHIWIW

SCARY AND HENRY A DUO I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED

Lark and Sparrow make me so unwell omg

NO LARK LETS GO OF SPARROW NOOOO

Begging for Lark to have a whole thing about Sparrow with Normal

No one catches Lark 😭 

Taylor is so funny omg

TAYLOR WITH SPARROW OMG

They seriously are having season one vibes I missed this so much omg

Nooo that was such a good transition 

Taylor having his own mini adventure is because they played a Taylor Swift song for their intro

CASSANDRA OH NO

TAYLOR JS GOING TO KILL WILLY IF HE DOES ANYTHING ELSE TO HIS MOM

This whole Taylor thing is giving off BIG Leviathan Fabian vibes with Chungle Down Bim

YOOO THE MARRIAGE THING OMG STRIKES AGAIN

Please say this works 

Roll high

Ohh a 12

LINC JUST PRAYED TO WILLY

Voicemail box 😭 

Of course Taylor is going to find his name 

OMG WAIT FREDDIE’S PLAN WAS LITERALLY OREDICTED BY SOMEONE ON TUMBLR I SWEAR

I DUNNO WHO

BUT MAY APPOLO’S VISION BE UPON YOU OR WHATEVER

Nooooo and it’d be easier for Taylor too because HIS MOM MARRIED WILLY OMG OMG

HIS LAST NAME TECHNICALLY COULD BE STAMPLER MUCH EASIER NOW BECAUSE OF THAT

SCARYA ND HENRY YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYSGHAHWHSHSHSHSVSAHWJHAHSB

Henry stopppppppp you’re messing with Scary :cccccccc

Nooo scary still has the hat omg oh dear

Oh dear Willy’s God now he could probably control someone’s mind through their sleepppp

Oh god I hate Barry so much. He sucked so much I hate him

AHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHSHHAHSHHSHSH SCARY BEING A SOCCER OEROSN OMG OSBAKAJSH

Taylor squints so hard that someone dies 😭 

AYYY THATS CANON

I wonder if he’s gonna get the original daddies as well as the Kiddads 

Scary’s pulling what Riz did with Biz ayyyy

Aww that would’ve been sick if he believed her

NO NO DONT TELL HER SHE WAS LIKE YOU FUCK YOU WILLY

FUCKING GET HIM SCARY GET HIS ASS GET EM

Scary just wants attention :ccccc

“Good luck” ANTHONY THAT HAD NO BUSINESS BEING SO OMINOUS OMG

Noooo remembering the thing with the cheese :ccc

I miss early season two

NO THATS WHERE EVERYRHING WITH HERMIE HAPPENED AYLGHHHHHHSVSHHSHS

“YOU BITCH” omg normal 😭 

“Give me an L” “You’ve had enough Ls” “I’ll give you one of mine”

No the way it fits the intro

AHHH NORMAL USING HIS CHEER TO CHEER UP LINC

This episode is making me giddy omg /pos

Linc is getting so sad this is worryinggggg. He’s acting like Grantttttt

This whole eye thing is seriously the math questions on my tests 

A happy normal is something I’ve missed so so much

I think literally all of these kids (except maybe Taylor) have a guilt complex (Scary/Willy, Normal/Code Purple, Linc/im not quite sure)

DARRYL AUYYYYYAYAYAYYAYAHAHABBSHSJSJS

JODIE AND GLENN YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYABSJAHWH

Omg Jodie and Glenn together 😭 

WIAT WAIT OKG WAIT

THE THING THAT MAKES THEM BELIEVE JN SHIT

THE WHOLE THING WITH THE CLOSE FAMILY DID THAT FOR TAYLOR

AND HE GOT THE PERSUASION THING

DOES THAT MEAN THATLL HAPPEN FOR THE OTHER TEENS WHEN THEYRE THING IS COMPLETED

ITS LIKE WHEN IN FH THEY GIT TO REROLL A STAT AFTER SOOHMORE YEAR

Scary looks like Larry!!

Omg Freddie is genuinely so smart omg

HAMILTON AYYYYYYYY

Yam ya

I’m gonna use that

He had a flying spell wowwww

REVERSE GRAVITY AUAGAHHAJAHAHHAHAHJW

OhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH

Will and me both man

Larry is so cool omg

Dood nooooooo 

RONNNNAHGAHAHAHAHHSHS

FUCK YOU WILLY

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUHAGSJSHHAHAAHAHS

Mfer admits that Ron posed a threatttttt

Honey badger waits for no one 

I’m gonna start using that too

GO BETH OMG 

Willy likes the science kid oh my god I’m gonna sob

Larry gives off church camp vibes

Willy’s doing the spaghetti thing 😭 

OMG OMG

WILLY TAYLOR IS GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOI HURY CASSANDRA PIOE THAT HOLY SHIT

“You’d be a lot prettier if you smiled Cassandra” GET HIS ASS TAYLOR GET. HIS. ASS.

You know I hated Willy before 

But this is a whole new fucking level 

Awww that’s so sweet at the end <33

AHHAHAHAHHAHA THIS EPISODE MAN

I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to wait for the next episode ahhh

IVE LISTENED TO THE ALBUM BUT OMG IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR THE ONE THEYRE RELEASING TO ADVERTISE IT

I’m betting it’s either the Potatoe one or Dead and Gone

Hmmmmm

January 30th!!

Oh screw off siri

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAIT IS DEAD AND GONE

YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAAYAYAYYAYAYYA

THIS EPISODE IS MT ABSOKUTE FAVORUTE THIS SEASON

[speaking-from-the-abyss]

YOOO WHAT ARE THE ODDS

I got them all in my first 10 pull!! XD What kinda luck is that??? I swear the Not Having Greed method works cause I was thinking oh anyone is fine actually I dont really mind who I get and then boom. All three. Thanks gacha gods lmao

Bonus:

Don't mind me here stanning my bias again cause look at that art he's so cute I love him 🧡🧡🧡

[silent-raven13]

Aye YOOO! Why I made him look like Yellow Guy from DHMIS!?!? 🫣 I’m dead💀💀💀 I swear on God it was by accident!  😭 😭 😭 😭

Anyway short comic on Chantelle and Wally during Wally’s teenage days. He was fast and tryin’ to be slick. Now, you know Chantelle could smell fish from a mile away with her baby boy.

Wally don’t smile when his mom is mad, he get scared real quick. Now, we know where he got that stare and attitude.

Also, Wally stayed a year with his dad before moving back with his mom. So, he forgot to be more sneaky, because his dad let him do whatever he want. Now, his mom is mad and bout to go call her ex and curse him out.  😭 😭 😭 

Ya know growing in a BIPOC household, we got no privacy!  😭 And we can’t be on those damn phone too long, because they got complain about the damn electricities bill.  😭 😭 😭 the struggle was real!

In my version Wally is omnisexual.

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 43 (SPOILERS)

This episode is so good because of the mushroom people curse, I've included some lines my S/I would say and the songs they're riffing off

ANDY AND DEREK SWITCHED SPOTS, I DON’T LIKE IT AHHHHHHH

MUSICAL EPISODE??? MY S/I WOULD BE SO HAPPY

Frost singing rainbow connections YESS, I LOVE THAT SONG

I love it when Andy does his lil dancy dances, he is so gender

Shroombek is a moldy mushroom lmao /j

Imagine my S/I's mush-sona, mushroom with horns lookin ass

Michael Jackson Gideon!!

I love all of Derek's references, bro is so good at comedy

Death metal Gricko is so FUNNY!!

I swear to god if Twig is dead again bc of mushroom shit I will scream

TWIG NOOOOOO, WAKE UP!!!

I love this episode already because of singsong Torbek and Death metal Gricko

Torbek and my S/I would definitely be duo dancing, besties who binge musical theatres are besties forever (more like I force him to watch them w me >:3c )

Gideon is so sad because of his rhythm being stolen, F’s in chat for my fire dad

"Just dance! It'll be okay, gid a do do. Let's dance! And kill that hag fam do do do do!" - My S/I (Just dance)

Bard era in this episode fr fr

"So tell me do ya wanna go, kill a fuckin hag tonight? Run away after we fight? Impossible maybe to you, it's what we gotta do whoa! This is the greatest curse!!" - My S/I (Greatest Showman)

Torbek talking naughty as usual with his "hairy mushroom"

Are we lost in the forest lmao

CANON TORBEK HEIGHT? HE'S 7FT?? (If Andy has mentioned this before, I'm fuckin stupid /j)

Gricko trying to day-o (The banana/beetlejuice song) the bird and therefore getting disadvantage on his roll is so FUNNY TO ME, LIKE HE WOULD USUALLY BE SO GOOD AT ANIMAL STUFF BUT WITH THIS MUSICAL CURSE HE SUCKS ASS!!!

PLUS 8??? GRICKO IS OP AS HELL WHEN IT COMES TO ANIMAL SHIT (makes sense tho cause of the whole “druid w an owlbear daughter thing”)

“Torbek! Is a big hairy mushroom!” is gonna be my new stim phrase I swear to the gods

In my mind, their mushroom colors are: Torbek = Pink, Gricko = Blue, Frost = Green, Kremy = Purple and Gideon = Red (I'd be yellow because my two fav colors are already taken)

“This is little green to purple bird” YES, I LOVE THAT NICKNAME FOR GRICKO AND I LOVE THAT IT KEEPS COMING BACK!!

“Help! We are stuck as shrooms, I don't wan’t to sing to death!” - My S/I (Stop! in the name of love)

Oh no, pixies! Please Gideon, don’t fuck them!

“Bumpin noses” sounds very suggestive coming from the bird

“I've got candles and rations galore, you want makeup? I've got plenty!” - My S/I (Part of your world)

Is she a phoenix now? Because that's cool af Nikkie

“Roll Athletics or Acrobatics” HAHA JOKES ON YOU I'M PROFICIENT IN BOTH!!

“They'll bust in your mouth, watch out” HAHAHA YEAH AND SO DOES FROSTY!!!

BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM “ARE YA READY??” ARE YA.. REAAAADY??” I love my alligator dad so much

Torbek and Gideon are pixie attracting CHADS

Mikey's commitment to still trying to say deez nuts jokes is so good, like Gricko would definitely forget about the fey pact and try to do it

“PULLON DEEZ NUTS!!” *Gricko and My S/I high five*

Kremy being really good at makeup is CANON IN MY HEART. WE GIVE EACH OTHER TIPS ON FOUNDATION AND EYELINER AND SHIT (We both have disguise kits)

Torbek reminiscing about Reada Flaugh and Gricko reminiscing about Busty

YOOO, ARE THE WITCHLIGHT PIXIES FAKE???

Torbek is a teenage boy with his horniness and libido /j (I still love my bestie tho)

THE BEEZLEBERRIES MAKE A CAMEO YESSSS

GODS DAMN IT KREMY, DON'T HURT TORBEK FOR MORE “WITCHES BREW”

Frost and Kremy talking about meta stuff in their voices just makes me think of an “Actors Au” where this is all a movie that they’re acting for and ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

Torbek, dear. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU “Squeeze out some Torbek juice.”

Torbek’s one hard no is house piss kinks?? Bro is wild fr fr

Torbek and Andy are so deranged, I love the gremlin activities

YOOOOOOO NAT 20 FOR TORBEK!!!!!

Torbek eats a cigar and my S/I has to find the fey equivalent to bleach for their eyes after watching him “Milk” himself

Alligator husband offers to make fire husband uwu death whey protein powder, very cute

CARLFISH RETURN YESSS (also carlatafish omg!)

Pixies love my fire dad (-_-)

Kremy and Gideon are a poly couple where Gideon gets all the babes and then Kremy swindles them out of their money /j

Disgruntled wife Kremy is so damn funny

Divorce arc for my dads /j

Gideons home depot asshole XD

Family dinner of Carlfish :)

Uh ho, Frosty teleported us in his sleep /j

[chidoroki]

Tokyo Revengers S3EP12

aka: "COWARD!"

Holy fuck, first Kakucho and now Izana gets shot? Granted he stepped in to shield Kakucho but shit, Kisaki has no chill. And that was three bullets this time!

I’m so mad at myself.. Izana had a big flashback last episode. Those are giant red flags. I should’ve seen this death coming! If he does die here anyway, which he might, but still! I didn’t even think of it til now!

Okay instead of watching these two bleed out, can someone call an ambulance or something?? I don’t think Izana has a chance but Kakucho only got shot once.

Thank you Mucho! Finally someone with common sense!

Okay I figured Izana wasn’t really related to Emma and her mom but damn, the woman is such a bitch.

Oh so that quick memory of Shinichiro last ep was when Izana confronted him about not actually being related.

He bled out so much his Tenjiku outfit turned a whole new shade of red..

Kakucho I know you’re beyond upset but you really need to stop moving.

I absolutely thought of Stelle’s “Rules are made to be broken” just as Izana said “Promises are meant to be broken.”

They place these cute flashbacks of them being kids in hopes that I feel something for them, huh?

How nice.. their blood mixing together at the end of both their lives as they hold hands..

“You alone though, I cannot forgive, Kisaki.” Please please please beat his ass up Mikey!

Goddamn it Hanma. I sorta forgot he was around but makes sense he would swing by to save this bastard.

Yooo Draken and Takemichi chasing after them? Hell yeah.

Bro, Mikey volunteering to watch after Hina in the meantime is so sweet, especially after what happened with Emma.

Ohhh shitttt, Takemichi standing over Kisaki like that after they crashed is amazing.

Ah, that damn hole in his foot though, don’t let that be the reason Kisaki runs away!

If Draken can catch up to Kisaki while carrying Takemichi on his back I’ll be so proud.

For fucks sake, Hanma, striking back with a metal pipe.. but thank god Draken blocked it!

Really? Now Kisaki is so desperate we’re using concrete blocks to attack? He’s such a coward I swear.

Ayoo look at our tank Takemichi! Actually fighting 1v1 with someone and dealing damage! God, I hope he beats the shit out of him.

[versegm]

Yooo how about Director's Cut on The One from Carcossa? Give me the downlow on awkward shadow roommate and hand licking lol

I SWEAR I DIDN'T REALIZE I WROTE SO MUCH HAND LICKING

God. This might get kinda long, lemme add a readmore right away.

As you can guess from the title, I wrote this after going insane over The King In Yellow for a couple weeks or so. Unfortunately I have since actually read the king in yellow and they're not nearly as good as the five wikipedia pages I dived through made it sound, but it was still a very fun time to write.

It was also very much inspired by the general concept of "the monster under your bed." You guys have that too right? Like, children's urban legends or whatever?

It's also a pretty old story, I think I wrote it in 2020-ish? But I think it still hold up well.

The monster in the story is named Cahors, which is the name of a french town. I picked that name because the King In Yellow has a running theme of characters with names starting in Ca- (Cassilda, Camilla) and I wanted to keep it going. The human is named Neha, after a friend I had at the time I wrote that story (Neha, if you're reading this somehow, hi! Hope you're doing well! :D) Neha also has a blink and you'll miss it cameo in May The Moon Shine Upon Camlann, as a treat. To myself.

Carcosa's writing system is based on qipus btw.

About ten years ago or so I followed writingprompt dot tumblr dot com, and one of the prompt was thus: the apocalypse happens, you are the last survivor, and one day you find a message that reads "last one up turns off the light," with no other purpose to your life, you decide to do that. For some reason, it struck me.

I don't actually remember for sure, but I think my reasoning behind that bit was to showcase why Cahors affectionates post-apoc stories specifically. It's their way to cope with the fact that their world ended.

Ok so this story was originally meant to be erotica, and this would be the big sexy showdown, but I found it flowed better without the sex. This is actually a recurring issue with my writing when I set off to write porn. It is unfortunate.

LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. THAT WAS THE FATEST WAY I COULD THINK OF TO LINK INTIMACY, TRUST, AND REALLY HAMMER HOME THAT CAHORS DOES NOT LOOK OR FEEL HUMAN.

Very largely inspired by this piece of art that lives rent-free in my head.

I'm just really proud of this bit :)

I really wanted to do a callback to that one other scene in the middle of the story. I'm glad I pulled it off!

The story initially had another line about Cahors using their mask to extinguish the lights, but multiple people told me they thought it was confusing, so I removed it. It works better this way I think.

And there you go! Mostly it was me fucking around with worldbuilding and monster biology as you can guess.

[thegeminisage]

i've decided to start in central hyrule & work my way outward re: shrines & seeds. reason: i am weak af and if i do this i will collect materials along the way which will help me upgrade my armor, or at least give me something i can cook and/or sell, and seeds and shrines will help me with weapons/health/stamina. win/win/win if collecting korok seeds doesnt make you wanna end it all

obviously i am gonna have to do this in Small Doses. i'm thinking every x number of seeds/every area i stop and do one of the sidequests in my backlog to keep it interesting

i'm on the other island next to hyrule castle looking for the chasm the map swears is here. i'm starting to wonder if i cant sneak into hyrule castle via these, even though there's a wall, because there's a deep spot on the other one. i am not <3 going to find out

so it is Not here. i can't find any sort of cave entrance or anything it could be in, like the other one...does it unlock later...? is this too part of the fifth sage quest

eigh the hyrule castle music coming it. stop i know i know im too close!!!! such different vibes from the deceptively peaceful central hyrule of botw...

IF OUND THE CAVE!!! ANOTHER FROX!!!!!!! i'm scared!!!!!!!!!!

OH EWWWW WHEN YOU'RE IN THE AIR IT TRIES TO CATCH YOU IN ITS MOUTH THAT IS SO GROSSSSS

i used. almost literally. every weapon i had left. i have like a fire wand a mining stick and two shitty swords. what the fuck what the fuuuck

luckily there's a lightroot like right here. i saw it when i got in but i was Uh. busy.

well there is fuck all else down here so now my new priority is finding weapons. i know lookout landing has some...hinoxes usually carry good ones...AUGHGHGH

god the ones here SUUUCK i am in such trouble.

i cant fight a hinox with no weapons...so thats out

maybe a construct camp...? i could start in the great sky islands. literally back 2 basics

luckily i still have lots of arrows and many good strong bows, so i can use that to my advantage

took out a construct camp. got one (1) Pretty Good sword

okay, with some fusing i now have 2 pretty good swords, one pretty decent sword, and two shitty ones, plus a fire rod, mining stick, and...an actual stick, that i picked up off the ground, just in case. i think i can work with this

landed in the deya village ruins! i've been wanting to poke around here actually...then i'll get back to central hyrule lol

very nostalgic...this is where i got my first blood moon in botw...since it was already night, the ruins were creeping me out, they remind me of a spooky location in okami. and i had no idea what was happening when the sky went red and the music changed because i hadn't seen the red moon rise, i was looking at the ground!! it really freaked me out lol, i'll always remember it

yooo there's a shrine in this well!!!!!

there's a talus down here KICKING my ass. his little thingy is on his back and i never know how to defeat those 😭

I MISS STASIS >:(

got him. jesus fuck

on the bright side this is another cool thing to add to my weapons. my supply is refilling itself rather nicely

back in central hyrule and i found a little island absolutely COVERED in flint and arrows. environmental storytelling.........not sure WHAT story they're telling but i see them telling it

OHHH my god. when i was flying over. some gloom hands just. SPAWNED BENEATH ME. TOTALLY SOUNDLESSLY. AND NOW I'M STUCK UP HERE BC IF I GET DOOOWWWWWN

this is the thing. this is the thing. when i said "guardians are scarier" i'm not implying these motherfuckers are not scary. bc they are. but u have to understand my first encounter w guardians was a complete and total surprise. just, bam, piano, YOU'VE BEEN SPOTTED, the sheer terror of fleeing for cover

but the hands. everyone talked about the hands before i got there. i saw them spawn down at the bottom of the labyrinth at a good distance away. i had time to absorb what was coming and it was not remotely a surprise

and then they spawned in the dark, without a single sound

and then they spawned UNDERNEATH ME, without a single sound

THERE IS NOT EVEN MUSIC PLAYING RIGHT NOW. EVERYTHING JUST WENT SILENT.

these are the antithesis of guardians. a guardian will scream its presence at you and the scream makes you wanna duck and cover. the hands will be killing you before you even know they're there. anytime anywhere no warning whatsoever. it's apples and oranges. they're both fucking scary

anyway i can't get down from here.

i can't get down and i do not want to fight them I Do Not Want To I Do Not Want To I DO NOT WANT TO

if i wait long enough, will they despawn...?

ok no. i gotta go for it. im so scared

went for it, made it, barely. the music didn't start but they looked up with their horrible eyes and they were on their way to me. i went over a hill and i stopped hearing the sound effects and now i hear normal music again but i sort of have to go that way a teensy bit to get ym korok seed and i'm too scared. what if they're still there! when do they despawn!

ok. i'm gonna go for it and if i see even a hint of them i'll fast travel away >:(

absolutely zero signs of them of COURSE it's way too far away but some chuchus jumped out at me and scared me shitless

at least guardians don't keep scaring you AFTER THEYRE GONE. theyre def cooler tho

okay i have to quit now bc it's bedtime and also for my own mental wellbeing. EUGH those hands!!!!!