#i swear to god im going to evaporate

[reeebz]

words cannot describe how much i loathe ai art

[wonderhecko]

made an appointment for the soonest adhd evaluation (they need to evaluate you for the thing you know you have and were clinically diagnosed with) back in july for september, not finding a receipt in my email or anything. i swear to god if this just evaporated in stupid fucking scheduling im just going to do hard drugs

[omgwhatchloe]

time for a big fat rant about something no one but me cares about butttt:

why do SOME red dead redemption 2 fans (mostly tiktok fanboys if im being honest) have such problems with admitting other games are good too…like yes red dead redemption 2 is good, its one of my favourite games but no its definitely not the greatest of all time. like yes the story is absolutely fantastic and im obsessed with a certain character in it (cough cough sean) but at the same time *sighs and points* lenny is literally levitating over a seat, abigail just screamed at me to get her son back when hes sat playing two feet away from her and bill just evaporated into thin air soooooo….it’s definitely not without its flaws. and im not saying other games dont have flaws at all, im just saying their fans have a lot better time accepting it than SOME rdr2 fans

and honestly i swear to god if i watch another joel miller edit and then open the comments to see it flooded with rdr2 fanboys going “arthur solos” “just give arthur a golfclub” “arthur>>” i might cry. because it makes all rdr2 fans look bad to other fandoms, and all it says is “we dont like it when other people appreciate other fictional characters” and im not even going to get into a debate about whether joel beats arthur or arthur beats joel, because no one will ever come to an agreement in this whole argument.

i absolutely love red dead redemption 2, i have the most hours on it, im obsessed with it, but the fanbase (not you guys you guys are awesome) really make me question…whether i want to be involved in it or not.

anyway thats just my little rant about stuff thats been driving me crazy anyways bye!!

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

GUYS I LOVE THEM SO BAD SO FUCKING BAD SEND HELP TBH IM GUYS IM IM IM IM IM I LITERALLY DO NOT EVEN HAVE WORDs LOOK AT HOW BLOODY FUCKING WONDERFUL THEY ARE I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO GO SO INSANE OVER THEM I WILL UNLOCK MY SECRET BRITISH POWERS IN WHICH MY ACCENT SUDDENLY EVAPORATES THE ENTIRE MEDITTERANEDIAN SEA AND I EXPLODE INTO PEICES ON THE SPOT ANYWAY PLEASE LOOK AT MOOMINMAMA AND SNUFKIN SITTING TOGETHER THEY ARE DRINKING TEA THEY ARE BONDING THEY ARE FANTASTIC THIS IS LITERALLY THE 2 MOST COMFORTING PEOPLE ON EARTH INTERACTING IN 4K THAT IS BLOODY MENTAL I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE WELL AND TRULEY LOST THE PLOT THIS IS BLIMIN BONKERS ALSO WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON WITH THAT TEAPOT WHY IS IT SMALLER THAN THE CUPS THAT IS MENTAL IM SORRY LOVE BUT YOUR NOT FITTING ZILCH IN THAT BLIMIN THING IM DEARLY SORRY FOR MOOMINMAMA THAT SHE HAS TO USE THAT IF THAT WAS MY TEAPOT THAT WOULD DRIVE ME UP THE BLOODY WALL I MEAN YOUD BE DAFT TO TRY AND POUR A CUPPA WITH THAT ANYWAY IM GETTING DISTRACTED BY THE PHYSICS OF TEA BACK TO <3 THEM <3 BLOODY HELL THE WAY SNUFKIN IS SITTING NOW IM NOT INTO BLOKES BUT BLIMEY HE IS A BIT PENG AND THAT POSTURE TOO I MEAN THAT IS A PROPER GOOD POSTURE HE IS NOT FAFFING ABOUT WITH THAT ANYWAY MOOMIN MAMA DEAR GOD MOOMIN MAMA MY BELOVED I MEAN SHE IS PROPER LENG BUT LIKE TBH ID MUCH RATHER BE ADOPTED BY HER THAN MARRY HER ANYWAY SHES WELL LOVELY SO IS SNUFKIN GOD LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE JUST SO COMFY TOGETHER HOLY FUCK OHMYGOD I JUST REMEMBERED I WAS DRAWING THEM SITTING AT A TABLE SHARING A CUPPA A BIT LIKE THIS DURING MY POLICE QUESTIONING BUT I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO FINISH IT MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL OR EVEN DRAW MORE OF THEM ACTUALLY I WILL DEFINIETLY DO THAT I NEED TO CRACK ON WITH DRAWING THESE WELL LOVELY PEOPLE IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE BLOODY HELL THEY ARE WELL LOVELY

[quietwingsinthesky]

i swear to god im going to write real fic again eventually but in the meantime here’s 2k of even & doctor angst and regret

“Don’t look at me like that,” Even says, softly. They won’t cross his TARDIS, won’t come closer to him. He doesn’t notice until he takes the first step, and they mirror him, keeping the console and the humming engine between them. He can only just see half of their face around it. “You don’t get to be disappointed in me.”

“How can you tell it’s a disappointed face? It’s a new face. Could mean anything.” He keeps walking, as though they’ll give up and stop and let him near. He catches them touch the console gently as they circle it, then snap their hand away like they’ve been burned, up to their chest to squeeze at- Nothing. They find empty air, and for a moment, they do freeze in place long enough for him to see the whole of them before they press their hand down and seem comforted by whatever they feel through the fabric of their shirt.

“It’s your face,” they answer. They sound uncertain.

They also aren’t wrong.

“What happened to you?” he asks, in lieu of saying something worse when they’re finally not trying to retreat from him. He dares a step closer and watches them tense like a frightened animal, shoulders drawn tight to make themselves smaller. He’s pictured finding Even, if they were alive, a thousand times over. When he was kinder to himself, he used to imagine that they’d grab his hands, overexcited and begging permission to touch more without being able to ask. (A regeneration ago, and he knows he would have pulled them in tight, buried his nose in their hair and held on until someone else interrupted him. Now, he’s not so sure, but he knows he wouldn’t let go of their hand.)

“I followed the Master,” they say. Their eyes cast away from him.

“You seem to be doing that a lot these days.” Even crosses their arms.

“Where else could I go?” they ask, standing in the middle of his TARDIS. Somewhere within her, their room is still waiting, untouched since they left.

They left.

“Home,” he intones, seriously, “where you’re supposed to be.”

Their mouth opens slightly in surprise before it curls around a sudden, “I can’t go home! You broke me!” The Doctor stops. All of him, from mind to body. Even one of his hearts misses a beat and leaves him with an aftermath of vertigo before it falls back in line. Even hadn’t raised their voice, but what tore through the air between them had been so angry- And had they ever been angry with him before? Just once in all their time together?

He watches their brief outburst crumple back inwards. Even blinks rapidly, pawing at whatever is beneath their shirt like it can steady them.

“Back with Donna,” he says, much quieter than he intends. Even blinks again, eyes clearly watering despite their attempts to stop it. “Making sure she’s safe.” He hasn’t let himself say her name in a long time. As though locking away the names of the people he cares about could keep them with him.

“Oh,” Even says, “you meant-”

Pettily, he adds, “You promised.” Whatever vulnerable thing had lighted on Even’s face when they heard Donna’s name evaporates, and that, he knows, is his fault. The brief vindication of their guilt isn’t worth it.

“What did you want me to do?” they beg. “Lie to her forever? Live my whole life with my best friend without being able to talk about any of the things that made us friends?”

“Did anyone tell you it would be easy?” he snaps. “Yes! She would have been safe!” You would have been safe, he couldn’t bring himself to say. He wants to believe, has to believe, that Even had ended up somewhere okay. Their present choice in company said otherwise, but more than that… He wonders if they know he can tell that some of their fingers are the wrong length. He’d almost thought he was misremembering, but they’re more incongruent upon further inspection — the shade of their skin slightly changed and the way they move. And that’s the part of them that he’s noticed has been modified. If there are others, he’s starting to think he just hasn’t seen them yet, not that they aren’t there.

They did a good job not answering his question earlier.

“I couldn’t live like that!” Even cries, cheeks finally stained with their first escaped tears. They flinch from the feeling of them, scrunching their eyes shut and failing to stop more. “Not with people I- I-“ Even makes a terrible noise, choked. The Doctor takes an unconscious step towards them, though he can’t make himself reach out to help. Their hesitation is too familiar to him, and his mind fills with a horrible litany of don’t stop there, say you didn’t learn to stop there from me, that can’t be the one thing you learned from me you didn’t forget. “With people I-“ Even makes a valiant second attempt. They fail. “People I cared about,” they finish, their failure obvious to themself and weighing heavily. “Care,” they correct, “care about.”

The TARDIS gives a warning hum as she nears her destination. He and Even both look up with recognition when they hear it.

He looks back at them before they do him. They gaze up at the TARDIS, towards the followable source of the noise — though the true source is somewhere else, much deeper within her. Their cheeks are still wet and their eyes are slightly red and puffy, but for those few seconds, their expression is one he’s missed so much that his hearts ache seeing it again: all wonder and delight at the TARDIS bringing them somewhere new.

And then their smile falls into a confused frown. They look at the Doctor, and then, gaze jumping to focus just over his shoulder instead, ask, “Doctor. Where are you taking me?”

He doesn’t have to answer. It was obvious where he thought they were supposed to be.

He’s going to say something, though. Maybe about the rarity of second chances.

Even’s expression goes blank. Against the contrast of their continuing tears, it’s unnerving. Without a word, they scan the TARDIS console. He doesn’t realize they actually know what they’re looking for until they’ve found it and dragged one lever into place with a protesting squeak. The TARDIS groans as she brakes in time.

The Doctor’s vision narrows to Even’s hand on the console. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing until his own hand is outstretched, and he hears the smack like a gunshot. Even jumps back, their eyes wide before they duck their head and brought their hand up against their lips. His palm stings slightly. On the tip of his tongue is a reprimand that dies before escaping. He’s standing as close to Even as they’ve allowed him to this entire time, and they’re cradling the hand he’d slapped away from the TARDIS’s controls.

They’d drawn the TARDIS to a halt properly, too. Not a guess or a reckless grab at any random button to throw them off-course.

They let their hand fall. There was a little red mark on it where he’d made contact.

“No,” they say.

“Even-”

“No,” they repeat. It scrapes out like a sob from the back of their throat.

“Then come with me.” He reaches out to touch their shoulder, and they move it inches from the tips of his fingers. “There’s room for you. You’ll meet Clara. You’d like Clara.” He has to say something to fill the air, or he’s going to keep staring at that fading red mark on their hand, feeling the skin on his palm slowly stop tingling. “You do the same thing with your eyes when you’re upset. You’ll have me outnumbered.” He wants Even’s eyes to go wide again and their lip to tremble, if only so he can point it out, just how similar they look and how well Even would get along with Clara if they were ever in the same room.

But Even doesn’t. They look exhausted instead.

“I already have a TARDIS to go to,” they say.

“Yes. Mine,” he insists, like he can make them stop before they say what he knows is coming. He’s still trying, though. He has to try.

“Mine.” He chooses to believe they’re just echoing what he said. (He misses when they did that, their voice catching the last words of his sentences and chirping them back again. He misses being caught in the loop himself, tossing a phrase back and forth until they couldn’t keep from laughing too hard to continue.) He chooses to believe that up until they say, voice strangely light compared to the rest of this conversation, “Missy will kill me if I’m late.”

He does not let his face fall. He does not let anything cross it, not anger or bitterness or grief.

Nonetheless, Even tilts their head slightly, brows knit, and adds, “I really can’t live here. Your TARDIS bites,” almost like an apology.

“And hers doesn’t?” He grips the TARDIS console, the contact with her controls calming him from the cool metal beneath his palms to the brushes of her consciousness against his own. He watches the stalled engine vibrate.

Even eyes him for a moment and cautiously steps closer into the space beside him. When he doesn’t move, they lay their hands on the console as well, mirroring his own. They twitch, once, a preemptive flinch and then, rest. He can feel every inch between their shoulders. Ghosts of laughter muffled against his coat or surprised grabs at his arm for reassurance haunt him. Even’s fingers curl, and they bring their hands together rather than keeping them outstretched and flat.

“No, actually,” they answer. “I think she’s too grateful for when we found and fixed her.” The Doctor chances turning his head to peer down at them.

His eyes catch on a shock of color amid their more subdued attire. They shift, and the color is swallowed up, melting into metallic grey, and revealing itself again the next time they adjust their stance. It’s a necklace, he realizes, chain interlaced with… something else. He finds the other spots of color easily, neon greens and yellows and blues. They look familiar.

“She does sometimes land us too close to walls, though,” Even continues. He can hear them smiling. “Most of the time, Missy stops before she runs into them. Most of the time.” He smiles despite himself, only half-listening as he studies their necklace or what he can see of it before it disappears beneath their shirt.

They’re beads. The pieces soldered into the chain are cheap, plastic beads.

The Doctor’s wrist feels suddenly bare, despite this wrist never having worn what it misses.

Even meets his eyes. They worry their lip between their teeth as they do, their effort to maintain it clear, and for that reason, he doesn’t look away for their sake like he might have otherwise.

“Would you really let me come back?” they say, slowly and carefully.

The Doctor doesn’t answer.

And he doesn’t answer.

And he doesn’t answer.

And finally, he says, “Yes.”

Even exhales and looks away. They squeeze their eyes shut.

When they extend their hand, it’s the Doctor’s turn to try not to flinch. He thinks he does an okay job of it, and if not, they aren’t looking anyway. The feel of their fingers wrapping loosely around his wrist is both new and familiar. Their adjust their grip as they bring his hand towards them, getting used to the changes they should have been expecting but that he knows they still weren’t, despite hearing his new voice and looking at his new face and knowing it wasn’t even the first he’d had since they’d last touched him.

Even draws his hand close to their chest and hesitates. They squeeze it once and continue. They hold it to their chest. He finds the outline of something beneath their shirt. They press his hand closer, eyes shut. The Doctor feels out the edges of the hidden object, round and hard, with no give but its own heat, its own energy pulsing with a steady rhythm that Even must feel in their chest constantly with it so near their skin. He runs his thumb over it again.

“I can’t stay with you.” Another apology. Their other hand comes up to cover what’s left of his that the first didn’t.

The Doctor finally knows how he could convince them. He can read it in the way they hold on. He knows exactly what he has to say to make it impossible for them to leave.

“Keep me close,” he says instead. Even huffs a little laugh.

“I try.” They release his hand, and with his invitation gone, he doesn’t try to take more than they’ve allowed. They aren’t running from him anymore. He knows how hard that is.

When he puts the TARDIS in motion again, he does everything he can not to think of Even’s intended destination, where or what or who it is, and to exist in the few moments they have together.

(He finds the box tucked into a corner of his own room, though he knows he didn’t leave it there. The TARDIS wants him to have it back. He takes out cheap, stretchy plastic bands and multicolored beads and lays them in a dozen rows of different shades before he makes anything from them. It goes much slower when he’s the only one sorting them out.

He strings them together, one by one. He tries to remember the colors he saw. He remembers their original order, but some were lost along the way and what’s the point in a friendship bracelet that doesn’t match?

Clara comments on it when she sees it. She says it’s cute, with a quirk to her mouth and eyebrows that says she’s confused but humoring him.

The Doctor tries not to take it off again, for however long that might last. He hopes it’s at least until Even sees it.)

[dearestclement1ne]

NGHGHGHGHGHG IM SEEING WHITE IM CUMMING OH MY GOD 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHERED MY PANTS GO!!!!!!! [CAR CRASH] [BUILDINGS FALLING] “GOOD GOD” [EXPLOSION] [BABY CRYING] “WAAAAH WAAAAAH” [YELLING] “SHUT THAT DAMN BABY UP” [POLICE SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [HELICOPTERS AND NEWS TRUCKS] “... WE’RE REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SCENE-“ [BANG] “MY LEG... MY LEG...” no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride type shit PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I SWEAR MY PANTS WERE JS ON

[braingoburr]

Vent about my Dad again.

Jfc we cannot have one peaceful day at my house. It reminds me almost of the " No you had fun yesterday" thing, except in the span of a few hours.

So I haven't seen my friend in over a year. I moved 2 hrs away from the durring LAST summer vacation, in the middle of covid. And I barely got to see them today, and we had fun walking around. We where out for like 3 hrs. It was nice. And the ENTIRE TIME. his Dad used the correct name &. Pronouns for me. And it was just so nice to know that, someone's Dad wasn't a total ass. It was so nice that Someone's Dad respected me.

Then when I got home it was total chaos. Everyones screaming, and pissed off. My little sister didn't want to eat her dinner as usual and mum blew up. Dad's just yelling at everyone and instead of helping sitting in his ass watching TV.

And when it finally settles down, he's watching The Punisher, and I start to doze off. But this pisses himm off. So he tells me to help my sister then go to bed. So I go do my sister's bed time routine. And start getting ready for bed. He calls me out, I had forgotten to clean the kitchen. And he's furious.

He going on in how He does everything. It's just frustrating. Even though he has literally 2 chores, and I usually help him with them THEY'RE LITTERALY TAKING THE BINS OUT IN THURSDAY'S, AND DOING HIS OWN LAUNDRY. ?????????

But then he was upset bc I was agitated, and was going off on , " you just saw your friend why are you so upset???" Like he doesn't go out with mum every Saturday for 2-3 hrs going to lunch and spending time with her.

I'm just upset that I tried to tip toe around him, get I still managed to piss him off. Then I had to hide for a bit to stop crying, bc then he would have been even more upset.

while doing the dishes I figured out how to put all this into words. And now I'm tired. But I can't stop thinking of the Pounds of Flesh trap so :/

[latestageyouth]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN RANBOO LISTSNS DO WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE.

[adrinktostopyourthirst]

Bucky Barnes | Drabble | Contaminated

Hey !! i loved i spy so much, your writing is so good you captured his character so perfectly?? im in awe??? i was just wondering if there is any chance you would write about the reader falling really sick due to a virus outbreak or something and shes in alot of pain and bucky is just there like NO ONE TOUCH HER SOMEONE HELP BUT DONT TOUCH HER (LMAO) i was thinking about it this morning and it sounded awesome, anyways if you dont have time no worries at all !! i look forward to reading more of your stuff hehe -@simpingjunebug

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Agent!Reader

Plot: It's you or the rest of the world. So you watch time tick by, living through your worst nightmare...

Warnings: Violence and fluff.

Words: 1,6OO

Everyone saw it. How the small flask rolled off the desk as if in slow motion, five pairs of eyes following it down as it hit the squeaky clean floor once, twice, and shattered with its third collision. You are almost sure you saw the clear substance it encased evaporate as the glass sprung apart. Natasha’s trained reflexes activated her protective mask when she saw the flask rolling down the desk, Steve and Bucky knew the substance couldn’t hurt them, Sam was still outside of the glass lab.

But you… You were still stuck in a chokehold right near the desk where you had tried to stop it from happening, arm still reached forward from where you got dragged backwards. Frozen, both you and the agent who has his arm wrapped around your throat, you process the fact that a deadly virus has just been released into the air. And since the agent didn’t let you stop it from happening and you are closest to it, you realise you are the only one that is completely screwed.

“No, no, no, no, no, no…” You hear Sam’s faint exclamation through the glass wall. There’s only a faint sound of dark laughter form behind you before Bucky storms over, rips the agent off your body and snaps his neck without blinking an eye, making you fall forward onto the white floor and the agent drop dead behind you.

“Buck-”

“Don’t!” Bucky roars, pointing a stern finger in Steve’s direction as a warning to not tell him off right now. He’s almost shaking with adrenaline at the realisation of what happened. “We have to get her out of here as soon as possible!”

Looking up from your seat on the floor, your eyes connect with Natasha, who has pity written all over her face. You know that look. There’s nothing you can do. You have been contaminated and the room you’re in, is sealed shut. If you leave, you infect everyone. You can’t get any help either, they won’t get here in time.

“We can’t get her out…” Natasha finally speaks out the dreaded words and you bite your lip to stop it from trembling, the realisation hitting harder as the minutes pass and that they might be your last ones.

“Natasha, I swear to god, if you decide to give up now-” Bucky’s voice is loud and intimidating as his massive frame makes its way over to her in large strides. He’s terrifying this way, his eyes dark, his body tense and his voice like the rumble of thunder. Steve stops him and grabs his shoulders.

You watch Steve’s mouth move as he tries to calm Bucky. But he doubles, triples. They all do. It’s like the room is filled with a hundred versions of your colleagues and they make noise. So much noise. The room is moving too, the desk growing and towering over you. The lines on the floor are dancing in your vision and there’s a dull ringing in your head.

A rapid heartbeat pulses through your flushed cheeks and neck and you feel like you’re going cross-eyed. It’s like you’ve been roasting above a fire for hours and someone decides to rain ice cold water over you, penetrating you with bullets of ice.

A cold hand presses against your forehead and you instantly lean into the refreshing touch, chasing the coolness offered to you. When your eyes flutter open, you see Bucky’s face with more worry creased into it than you’ve ever seen before.

“Sam.” Bucky rasps, but his voice is barely coming out “Sam! Fuck! Get help. NOW!”

His voice is pleading as he lets you collapse to the floor, pulling you between his legs and resting you against his chest. His metal hand alternates between resting against the scorching skin of your face and your chest, trying to cool you down as the fever rapidly chases through you.

“Natasha, use your brain and get us an antidote or something that slows the process!” Bucky orders, not taking his eyes off you.

“Bucky, I-”

“I DON’T CARE!” He roars again “Now!”

Natasha shares a look with Steve and they both nod, starting to rummage through everything they can find in the lab as Sam hurries off to get help. None of you have seen this side of Bucky before and it would scare you if you didn’t feel so safe in his arms. Gently rocking you back and forth, he has somehow managed to grab a cold, wet cloth and dabs it to your hairline.

“I’m going to fix this.” He promises you “You don’t get to die on me. I’m the one who gets to kill you, no one else. You’re not dying on me.”

He’s trying to convince himself more than anything, you realise that, but it makes you smile. You remember him telling you that a few times during missions. It was his excuse for saving your ass a few times. Only he was allowed to kill you, because he was convinced you annoyed him the most. Naturally, you returned it. You saved his ass plenty of times with the promise that you’d kill him once you got back to the compound.

Tears slip down your cheeks at the realisation that you are going to die in the arms of a friend who you had never been able to tell that you loved him. You loved him. You love him. You’re in love with him.

You feel your mouth open, but no matter how loudly you scream in your head, it’s not coming out. No sound is coming out – like your worst nightmare.

Slipping in and out of consciousness, you have no idea how much time passes. All you notice is that you have started shivering away from Bucky because everything hurts. Your entire nervous system is on fire and you can’t stop the ripples of pain pulsing through you. Your clothes stick to your body from your sweat and Bucky’s terrified voice rings in your ears.

“Hurry up, Sam… Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up…” It’s like a prayer as he sits next to your shaking body, his fingers itching to reach out to you as he tries to restrain himself. Natasha and Steve had found something to slow the virus and buy you time, but Bucky almost knocked them straight out when they inserted the needle to your skin.

“Don’t touch her! Careful! She’s in so much pain! Just help her already!”

“Barnes, if you don’t calm your tits right now, I will give you a tranquilizer.” Natasha spits at him followed by Steve explaining to Bucky calmly that he has to stay calm for you. But you hear the fear in all of their voices.

That’s about as much as you follow before the entire worlds turns completely black.

…

Your body is cold, freezing almost. If you had to guess, you’d guess your skin is the palest it has ever been. That’s when you notice the warmth around your fingers. Waves of warmth move from your knuckles, up your lower arms where the cold conquers again.

When you finally manage to pry your eyes open, you see your hand being held into Bucky’s hands, his soft lips blowing hot air onto your freezing skin. His eyes are bloodshot and he must not have been able to shave for a few days.

“You’re awake.” His voice is soft, completely broken. You’re not entirely sure, but you think you see light reflecting from his waterline.

“Bucky…” You whisper and a weak smile breaks through his features.

“You suck so much.” He tells you, gripping your hand so tightly, you think it might break “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”

You heave a deep sigh, realising just how weak your body still is. The hospital room falls quiet and you realise he’s the only one here and taking in his current state, you don’t think he has actually left. Remembering a few things from the incident, you can already imagine Sam, Steve and Nat trying to drag him away from the room and him threatening to kill all of them.

“Bucky, I’m cold.” You mumble softly and his eyes widen, sitting up straight as he thinks about what to do.

“Maybe I can get you a blanket, or a hot water bottle, maybe a nurse can help you?” He asks and your fingers weakly clench around his.

“No, come here.” You offer powerlessly “Please.”

“The bed is not nearly big enough, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. He’s never called you that before. It makes you feel all fuzzy and warm.

“Figure something out, soldier.” You order him, maybe in an attempt to flirt with him. You push back the thought of how horrible you must look right now, but you can not let another moment pass by without telling this man what you wanted to scream at him when you thought your life might well and truly be over.

He chuckles tiredly and nods. Getting up from his chair, he bends down and slides his arms under your body, lifting you off the bed so effortlessly, a blush creeps to your cheeks. He lays down onto the hospital bed and gently pulls you into his chest, your legs resting between his as you lay on top of him.

Moving the bed so he’s sitting up slightly, he then gently presses the back of his flesh hand to your cheeks with a worried frown on his face “You’re getting a fever again…”

You let out a soft laugh and playfully slap his hand away, your cheeks growing even redder “Shut up. This is all you.”

“Blushing because of me, huh?” A sly grin spreads over his lips and he tilts your chin to look up at him. His blue eyes sparkle with admiration and you look up at him with wide eyes.

“Good, because I can now finally say it back…” He mumbles, pressing the softest of kisses to your lips “I love you too.”

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XVI

Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XIII - - - - Part XIV - - - - Part XV

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Masters Aerdo, Koon and Nu lurched forward in distress as Obi-Wan unceremoniously slammed his mental walls into place.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” He reassured them, smiling weakly and rubbing his temples.

“Cutting yourself off so abruptly from the force after a meditation that deep is dangerous,” Master Aerdo said, alarmed. “Please endeavor to be more gentle with yourself, Master Kenobi.”

“Of course, I simply thought it would be be best to allow for some, ah, uncertainty with my retreat to counteract my... necessary indiscretion.”

“Uncertainty!” Plo scolded. “If I hadn’t been in same room as you I might have thought you were dead!”

“Well, yes, that’s rather-”

Vokara Che burst through the door, followed closely by Bant Eerin.

“PLO KOON! WHAT IN THE GALACTIC CORE HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PATIENT!”

Master Koon took a step back, “Vokara, please-”

“I’m perfectly alright, Master Che,” Obi-Wan interjected, “Master Koon has helped me beyond what I can ever repay. I- Oh dear. You all have.” Obi-Wan looked around, guilt creeping into his voice. “Oh. OH. I am so sorry for what I must have put you all through. I- I assure you, it wasn’t what it looked like. Thank you so much for all you’ve done to save me from...well, my own foolishness, I suppose. Oh that must have been- I deeply apologize for the inconvenience I’ve caused.”

Master Che took a deep breath. “Your good health is repayment enough for whatever debt you feel you might owe. May I take your recent...reaching out to mean that you have begun to regain your sense of where and when you are and no longer feel the need for more...drastic means of escape? Alarming raising of shields notwithstanding?”

Obi-Wan winced. “I am...still confused on a number of points, I admit. But I’ve cleared up most of my important doubts. Its... 7957 by the Centralized Republic Calendar. I’m in the temple Halls of Healing on Couracant. Everyone in this room is a fellow member of Jedi Order.” Obi-Wan hastily wiped away a few tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

He cleared his throat as the five onlookers watched with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. “It’s going to be difficult, but I owe you all an explanation. Actually I need to explain a few things quite urgently, but first-”

His train of thought was interrupted by the roiling force presence that proceeded Mace Windu’s entrance. Mace paused at the foot of the bed, eyeing Obi-Wan critically as everyone else shuffled slightly out of the way to the edges of the increasingly crowded room. 

“Master Kenobi. You’re looking better.” He finally said.

“I’m feeling better. You really can’t imagine. I’m sure you have questions, but first I must insist- ow!” Obi-Wan jerked back, startled by the sudden rap of a gimer stick on the side of his head.

“Master Yoda!” Che and Aerdo scolded as the Grandmaster suddenly appeared on the nightstand to get a better look at his troublesome great-grand padawan.

 Vokara actually grabbed the wizened elder with both hands, lifting him by the armpits and chastising him like a misbehaving youngling. “That is not an appropriate greeting for any of my patients. Shame on you.”

“Patients, hmm? Shame, shame indeed.” Yoda muttered, dangling in the air. “Gone, my patience is. For making us think he had joined the force too early, shame indeed on Obi-Wan.” 

Obi-Wan bowed his head. “My apologies, grandmaster. I had strong reason to believe that I was trapped in a hallucination. I will explain everything but first we really need to comm-”

“Your suicide attempt, I was not referring to, no. Do such a thing in your right mind, I know you would never. Concerned, we were, of course. Halfway fake your own death, the first thing you did was, after all this! The reason I am hitting you, that is! Too old for this, I am!” 

“I understand, and I had reason for retreating so suddenly. Which I will be happy to explain. But first we really need to do damage control and contact-”

- - - - -

“ANAKIN! Anakin, what’s wrong!” Padme shook her husband’s shoulders as he knelt, collapsed on the floor.

“It’s- Obi-Wan” he choked out. “He was here! He was awake and alive and then he just- stopped.” 

“Oh force. You don’t mean he’s-”

“I don’t know. I can’t sense him. I don’t know.”

“Go. And when you find him, please comm me to let me know if-”

But Anakin was already gone.

- - - - -

"Oh...hm.” Master Tiin shuddered slightly.

“Sir? Is everything alright?” Captain Rex asked.

“Does this have something to do with General Kenobi’s illness?” Boil called out anxiously. A low murmur rippled through the mixed meeting of high-level strategic and logistical officers. 

“His- force presence grew rather strong for a moment. I would have to contact the temple to-”

“He’s dead.”

“Master Krell!” Saesee Tiin chided as the room recoiled in horror. “We don’t know that.”

General Tiin addressed the anxious room, “His force presence did cut out abruptly, but there are a number of explanations for such a thing, and jumping to the worst case scenario prematurely does us no favors.”

“Perhaps we should pause the briefing while you contact the Temple, sir.” Commander Cody offered stiffly.

“Out of line, Clone.” General Krell said, sneering. “Regardless of the status of your former General, we depart at 22:00 hours this evening. This briefing will continue. Interrupt with such a meaningless and insubordinate suggestion again and I will have you put on review for decommissioning.”

“Yes, sir.” Cody replied.

“That’s enough, Master Krell. I realize tensions are running high but please control yourself.” Tiin sighed. “We do need to finish this planning session. I apologize for the disruption, everyone. Now if you will all turn your attention back to map 3a of the Ghost Nebula...”

Command training included modules on compartmentalizing unhelpful emotional responses in order to focus on tactical information, so that’s what Cody did.

- - - - -

“If you have some Sith-related intel to divulge, I think it might be more appropriate to contact the rest of the council first, Master Kenobi,” Mundi said, discarded fluid drip awkwardly jabbing him in the side . 

“I agree, but trust me, first, someone really needs to tell Anakin I’m not dead. If you don’t want to do it, I will,” Obi-Wan announced, trying to get up. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Bant snapped, pushing him back into bed.

“I- Oh Bant, It’s- some things are fuzzy, but you were one of the medi staff who came to my quarters after I...”

Bant glared in answer. 

“I am so sorry, again I-” 

“Obi-Wan, try not to worry too much about apologies right now. The important thing is you have people who care about you and we are all pleased by your renewed vigor for life.” Healer Aerdo interrupted, maintaining a death grip on Yoda while Che fussed over Obi-Wan’s vital readings. 

“I’ve commed Skywalker but if he’s acting as I suspect, he’s not checking messages” Master Windu said from his place in the corner.

- - - - - 

A Chiss Padawan leaned over to whisper to her Master as the mental flow halted unceremoniously. “Master, you don’t think...”

“Is something wrong, young one?” Chancellor Palpatine called out, smiling warmly at the young apprentice and drawing all eyes in the sub-committee meeting to the cloaked pair standing watch at the door.

“Ah, no, Supreme Chancellor, thank you for your concern. We simply observed a minor disruption in the force,” Her Tholothian Master replied smoothly as the padawan attempted not to fidget. “I’m sure the Council will contact us if it’s anything worth reporting to the Senate.” 

The meeting continued but more than a few senators spent the remainder of the session discretely swapping messages speculating on what could have ruffled the usually silent and stoic guardians. 

- - - - -

Shouted curses and wailing speeder horns followed Anakin as he raced to the temple. 

I swear to all the gods if he’s alive i’ll never kill anyone ever again I should have been there was no warning in the force please help me if he’s dead i’m going to kill everyone on this planet except Padme and then im going to kill Dooku and Grevious and then

- - - - -

“Master Fisto!” Ashoka said, turning anxiously to the Natuolan Master as Obi-Wan’s presence evaporated. “Do you think Master Kenobi is alright?”

“We’re quite a distance away,” Kit replied soothingly. “There’s a very good chance he simply had to withdraw because he was overreaching himself to say hello.” 

Ashoka frowned. “Can we contact the temple to make sure? Please?”

“I’ll send a comm, but we might not get a reply right away. We’re only a few hours out from the planet, so you’ll be able to check in on him yourself soon, alright?”

“Yes, Master.”

- - - - -

“Ah...perhaps we should shift into another room? This one is a little small for the...full Jedi Council. And I wouldn’t mind the opportunity to change out of these patients robes and into something a little more appropriate”

“You’re not going anywhere or changing into anything until I clear you.” Che snapped, elbowing Koth out of the way to jab Obi-Wan with another device.

“If one of the high council is unable to leave this room, than the high council is more than willing to meet here.” Master Gallia said calmly from her perch at the foot of the bed.  

“Well I’m not leaving.” Master Nu announced. “I still haven’t gotten the full explanation Plo promised.”

“As a healer-”

- - - - -

Klicks apart from one another, Sith Assassin Ventress and Knight Vos unknowingly shared identical frowns as Quinlan softly gave voice to what they were both thinking,

“What the fuck, Kenobi.”

- - - - - 

“WATCH OUT!”

“Kriff!”

“...Was that Anakin Skywalker? Did The Hero With No Fear just cut us off?”

“Must be some serious business for him to be flying like that.”

- - - - - 

Count Dooku redirected the Invisible Hand; his plans for Kiros would simply have to wait. Sidious might prefer the Umbaran seige to be a long, protracted affair rather than a decisive win one way or another, but if Tyrannus’s suspicions were correct, than the time for kowtowing to the Sith Master might be near its end. Sidious had long underestimated his Grandpadawan. He suspected that whatever play was going on was less the act of a new player and more the opening move of an experience one now shifting his attention to another arena. 

The ‘attack’ was likely a deliberate ruse to allow Kenobi to slip into the shadows and finally begin addressing the hint he had provided on Genosis long ago. Now, more than ever, Dooku needed to manage Separatist affairs strategically. Kenobi’s search into the force and subsequent rapid withdraw was too deliberate to be anything but the first steps of a larger plot. 

- - - - -

“Ah, Master Mundi?” A young apprentice healer asked the Cerean Master guarding the entranceway to the wing. “There’s a small crowd gathering outside. All very orderly, of course. But they want to know Master Kenobi’s Status. What should I tell them?”

Mundi Sighed. “If they ask, tell them Master Kenobi’s wellbeing is protected under healer client confidentiality and the highest security clearance.” 

Ki-Adi paused. “If Anakin Skywalker, arrives, just- send him this way, as you would a Council Member, understood? Don’t try and stop him.” he added begrudgingly.

“I see.” the padawan replied with impressive professional calm, "Thank you, Master Mundi” She bowed and returned to the front.

- - - - -

Maul staggered out of his cave. Kenobi was taunting him now. Kenobi would pay. Kenobi would see. Kenobi couldn’t die before Maul killed him.

- - - - -

A gap opened in the somber crowd as Anakin sprinted through, heart in his throat.

He should have been here there was no warning he should have been there

“Skywalker!” Mundi barked. “Calm yourself!”

Anakin stared at him with wild eyes and the High Master faltered, frightened for a moment. Before Anakin could say or do anything to the council member, Master Windu appeared. “Over here.”

Anakin blurred past him, mind tormenting him with images of nooses and blood and broken bodies and incomplete-

“Hello there, Anakin.” Obi-Wan sat upright in bed, smiling at him and surrounded by far too many Master’s for anyone’s comfort. Least of all the Masters, now that Mundi and Windu were forcing their back in. 

Anakin took in a strangled gasp, “Obi-Wan- you- i thought you were dead.”

Obi-Wan’s welcoming smile faltered. “Oh Anakin, I’ve really put you through a terrible ordeal the last few days, haven’t I? I am so, so sorry- I- I promise I didn’t intend to leave you like that. Come here, I’ll- its going to sound quite impossible but I can explain everything. There’s so much I have to tell everyone-”

Anakin threw himself forward, ignoring Jedi dignity and who he was knocking over.

He heard a tut of disapproval behind him as he embraced his Master. 

“Oh be quiet” Master Koon chided someone. “Honestly, he’s padawan age, have some compassion.”

Anakin decided to ignore that in favor of crying over Obi-Wan for the fourth time in as many days, utterly exhausted. 

Obi-Wan hesitated for a bare moment before wrapping his arms around his brother and friend for the first time in years (at least for the first time where he was aware that it was real and oh force he was really going to have to meditate to fully understand what he had said and done and what everyone had said in response).

“Perhaps we should give them a moment to collect themselves.” Master Aerdo offered diplomatically. Having largely reached their threshold for open displays of emotion, the Council non-verbally came to an agreement.

“You two have five minutes to pull yourselves together,” Master Windu said severely. 

“Of course, Master Windu. Thank you.” Obi-Wan rasped.

The group shuffled out with remarkable good grace, considering the number of inhabitants in the room, or rather remarkable bad grace, considering they were all supposed to be Jedi Masters.

Plo Koon patted them both on the shoulders before filing out. Master Yoda leapt nimbly out of Bant’s arms to land on the nightstand. He rapped them each lightly on the head before darting out with a chuckle. The door clicked shut.

“Master- I- never do that again.”

“I’m sorry Anakin, I promise, I wasn’t trying to die, I have far, far too much to live for. I’m never going to leave you again, I don’t care what else happens but- I’m not going to abandon you ever again, do you understand. Even if I die, I’ll come back and haunt you for the rest of your life, you’ll barely notice the difference, I swear.”

“...Thank you, but please stop talking now”

“Right, of course. I’m sorry. I’m so, so-”

“I love you, Obi-Wan.”

“...I love you too, Anakin.”

Part XVII

[angstysebfan]

The Truth Will Set You Free- Part 3

Pairing: Bucky x Female Reader, Thor x Reader (other Avenger characters)

AU: Modern

Summary: You dated for two years, and thought he was the one for you. One day you came home and found him with someone else. After running away from you, you return home and found yourself in the arms of Thor. When Thor decides to introduce you to his friends at a dinner, you realize that there’s something familiar about the house you were visiting.

Warnings: implied cheating, language

--

Steve allowed you and Bucky to go up to his guest room to talk without being interrupted. You walk into the room, and immediately start to pace, as Bucky walks in and closes the door. He watches you with a mix of guilt, sadness, and relief that you are here.

Bucky never thought he would see you again, and that thought killed him. When you left that day, he thought he was going to die from the pain. He shut himself out from everyone, because nothing was going to take the pain of losing you away. You refused to answer any calls or texts, and when he went to your job and heard you were transferred, he knew that he had lost you forever.

Now he stands in a room with you as you pace, and he worries that even though he has an excuse for what you saw, he might be too late, and you have moved on with Thor. Bucky takes a deep breath and tries to find some courage to speak.

“Y/N?” he says softly, which makes you stop pacing and glare at him.

“Tell me, Bucky. Tell me now. Why did you cheat on me?” you ask angrily, trying to hold back tears.

Bucky wants nothing more than to grab you and hold you, but he walks further into the room and sits on the bed. He looks at his hands for a moment before turning his beautiful blue eyes on you. “I didn’t cheat on you,” he says.

You scoff in disbelief, “I know what I saw that day, Bucky!” you scream and start pacing again. 

“I know what you saw, but it wasn’t what you thought. I never cheated on you. I would never have cheated on you. I love you!” Bucky says as he stands and stops you from pacing but grabbing your arms.

You violently pull away from him, “Oh please! You and Nat sleeping in our bed, naked?” you say sarcastically. Who did he think he was kidding?

“We weren’t naked,” he said calmly.

You stare at him, blinking a few times. You remember that day. You have that image ingrained into your memory. Was he just messing with you? You open your mouth to respond, but Bucky beats you to it.

“I didn’t have a shirt on, but I was wearing sweats. Nat at that tube top thing on that you wear sometimes. We were both wearing clothes. I mean I can understand how it looked, but I swear I didn’t cheat on you,” Bucky said.

You don’t know how to respond. How can you honestly know if he is telling you the truth or not? So many questions entered your mind at once, you didn’t know which to ask first. You take a deep breath and try to calm down your nerves. The adrenaline seems to have evaporated and you now feel exhausted from todays events.

“Ok, let’s just say, for arguments sake, I believe that you were wearing clothes. Why was she sleeping with you in our bed? Why did you have your shirt off?” you ask looking out the window, not knowing if you could handle looking at him at the moment.

“I-I want to tell you everything, but I am not sure how much I can actually tell you. I know that sounds bad, but there are things that I am not at liberty to tell,” he says.

You glare at him and stand, “Then there is nothing left to discuss. If you cannot be honest with me, then we are done here,” you say as you start walking toward the door.

Bucky grabs your wrist, “No! Please! Don’t leave. There are things I can say. If you are not satisfied after what I have to say then I will see if I can tell you the whole story. I know this sounds crazy and maybe it is, but I really want to explain my side. Please?” Bucky begs.

You sit back on the bed and nod for Bucky to continue. “Ok,” Bucky breathes. “I should have worn a shirt. I was working on my bike outside when Nat showed up. It was really hot out, so I didn’t have my shirt on. Even when we went it, I was just so warm that I kept it off. I should have put one anyway but there it is,” he says shaking his head.

“Nat came over to talk to me about something. That’s the part I can’t really disclose without her permission. But she was really upset. We were in the living room and she was crying and I was trying to console her. After awhile, she fell asleep. I decided to leave her on the couch, and went into our room to nap myself. Next thing I knew, you were barging into the door screaming and Nat was in the bed with me,” Bucky says, looking at you sadly.

“You really expect me to believe that you had no idea Nat joined you in our bed?” you ask.

“Y/N, if you recall, I didn’t sleep well the night before because of nightmares. I passed out and I am dead serious when I say, I had no idea Nat followed me into the room I swear,” he says, hoping to god you believe him.

You stare out the window, taking in everything he said. I mean you could remember him not sleeping the night before, so it would make sense that when he fell asleep that he completely passed out. But Nat going into your bed is so inappropriate! Why won’t he tell you what their discussion was?

“What did you and Nat talk about?” you ask quietly.

Bucky sighs, knowing you were going to ask that question. “If you give me a moment to ask her if it’s ok. I will tell you, but I’m afraid I can’t without her permission,” Bucky says.

You look at him and wonder if you should allow him to bring Nat into your conversation. You don’t understand why he can’t just tell you. Will it even matter? You sigh and rub your brow as your thoughts fly through your head. 

“I- I have to go find Thor,” you surprise yourself by saying. Bucky looks down and can’t help the tears that start falling down his cheeks.

“I know you care about him, but--”

“I am falling for him Bucky. Even if what you say is true, and I am the asshole in this story. I’ve moved on. I’m sorry, but you moved on too. You and Nat are dating, so maybe we should just close this chapter and move on,” you say, as tears start to fall down your cheeks as well.

“Nat and I are not dating. I haven’t dated anyone since you. You are it for me. Please, Y/N,” he begs. 

It breaks your heart to hear his voice crack at the end of his plea. You sniff and stand.

“I have to think about this. I need to talk to Thor. I-I don’t know what will happen from here,” you say as you grab your things and walk to the door. You stop and turn toward Bucky, who continues to sit on the bed and silently sob.

“I’ll reach out to you, and hopefully you can tell me everything, but I can’t waste anymore time here and let Thor think I don’t care about him,” you say, feeling guilty for leaving Bucky like this.

Bucky stands and walks over to you. “I will tell you everything. I will make sure it’s ok, but I need you to know that I still am irrevocably in love with you. I know you care for Thor, but I want you to think if there is any love left for me, because as far as I am concerned, you are the only one for me,” he says before kissing the top of your head and leaving the room.

You stand there in a shock for a second before coming to your senses and heading back downstairs, your Uber already being called. You don’t bother to say anything to anyone and just head out of the house. In a few minutes, your ride picks you up and you head toward Thor’s apartment. You hope that he will let you apologize.

Your emotions and thoughts are everywhere. You know you still love Bucky, and yes you have deep feelings for Thor. Now you are in a position to make a choice, but you want all the facts first, plus you don’t know if Thor will even take you back.

You sit in your Uber and silently cry as you realize the pickle you are truly in.

--

Part 2 / Part 4

What do you guys think of Bucky’s excuse? What could Nat be hiding and will it make a difference? Will Thor forgive Y/N and his friends? Who should Y/N choose when it comes down to it? So many questions, so little time! Feedback is appreciated! 

Please forgive me if you asked for a tag and I did not add you. I got a lot of people asking, and I think I got everyone, but if you did request, and were not added, please let me know.

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940

Story Taglist: @jessyballet @vicmc624 @kaleeelizabeth58 @iheartsebandchris @collette04 @mela-noche @supernaturalwintersoldier @winteralpine @katiaw2 @devotedlycrookeddonut @baeconandpancakes @tdbooth

[shaynawrites23]

Secret Admirer

Word count: 2054

Prompts:

“I think I practiced asking you out a good thirty times in the mirror.” “You practiced asking me out... on yourself?”

“Were you the one to write me all these letters?”

“But you love me anyways.”

“I’ve kissed you so many times already, but I wouldn’t mind another.”

“I don’t know where I’m going quite yet, but I know I want you here with me.”

“When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me - is you.”

Written for @yourssuccubus’s writing challenge, as well as @im-a-writer-right’s challenge and @writingevents’s September event!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, (y/n), spill! Do you already know who it is?”

You were sitting by the lake with your best friend. It was a rather secluded spot, but you weren’t hiding, as classes had finished an hour ago. Even the warm breeze playing softly with your hair seemed to urge you; ‘tell, tell, tell!’

For almost six months now, you had been receiving letters. From whom, you couldn’t say, as they were all signed, ‘forever yours, your secret admirer.’

Giving in, even though deep down, you longed to talk about it, and you pulled the most recent letter from your robe.

“No, Lily, of course I don’t know who he is.”

“Or she,” Lily interjected.

“He or she,” you repeated. “I guess I never thought of it being a girl, but I guess it’s possible.”

“So, what did they say?”

You just handed her the paper, too embarrassed to read it aloud. It was already well creased after you read it so many times since it ended up on your desk that morning.

Her eyes lingered over the words every few sentences, her face lighting up in excitement.

“Ooh!” Lily exclaimed, eyes locking with yours. “(y/n)-”

She stopped short at the sound of bushes rustling behind you, tucking the paper treasure under her robes in case someone might see.

You spun around, hoping to Merlin no one saw the letter clearly dotted with hearts. Gray eyes met yours, eyes you immediately recognized as those belonging to Sirius Black.

Oh no.

The Marauders were notorious for their pranks, and while you had been lucky enough never to have experienced them firsthand, the fear that your luck was about to run out enveloped your heart like a thick fog you couldn’t see through.

“Ladies.” A charming smirk played on his lips as he winked, a gesture that seemed to be directed more at you than at Lily. “Mind if I steal (y/n) here away for a bit?”

“Sure, but watch it, Black,” Lily warned before making her way back to the castle. Sirius gave a mock salute in response, one she caught out of the corner of her eye and you saw her roll her eyes.

You were now alone with Sirius Black. Your crush.

Crap.

“So what brings you here, good sir?” you teased. “I must admit, you look suspiciously alone today.”

A look of confusion crossed his face before it was replaced by a flash of panic.

“No, no, no, I’m not here for a prank! Remus is busy being star student and James is looking for Lily. I swear, the day we prank you is the day I throw myself off a cliff.”

The determination in his eyes, as well as his promise, brought a soft smile to your face.

“So, you’re here because you’re bored? Or to keep me busy so James can catch Lily alone?”

“Merlin’s beard, woman, give me a break! I’m here because-” He stopped abruptly, as if to keep himself from saying something that was supposed to remain secret.

“Because?” you prompted, your voice no more than a whisper.

He averted his gaze, looking out over the water instead. A silence fell over the two of you, settling like a warm blanket.

Finally his eyes met yours again, his gaze intense, yet vulnerable at the same time.

“I like you.”

It was so soft, you would have missed it, had it not been for the stillness of your surroundings and the movement of his lips. You must have looked as incredulous as you felt; a small smile tugging at his lips as he repeated his statement.

“I like you, (y/n).”

When you didn’t reply, he cast his eyes downwards, muttering a brief word of apology as he moved to get up. At that moment, your ability to speak finally decided to come back from vacation in Hawaiï, and you grabbed his wrist.

“Wait!”

He watched you expectantly as you let go of his arm and nervously played with your fingers.

“I like you too, Sirius.”

His expression softened as he smiled, light and gentle like the sun’s rays on dewdrops that hadn’t evaporated yet that morning.

“It’s okay, love, I understand. You don’t need to say that to spare my feelings.”

“But I’m not!” you huffed in exasperation. “I really do like you; I swear it’s true. Sirius, have I ever lied to you?”

You swore you could pinpoint the exact moment he reverted to his flirty, confident self, as a cheeky grin appeared on his face.

“So, (y/n), will you go out with me? Yes… or yes?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, giggling at his attempt.

“Yes.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he grinned, sitting down next to you again. “You know, I think I practiced asking you out a good thirty times in the mirror.”

“You practiced asking me out… on yourself?”

He chuckled. “It sounds dumber when you say it that way. But yes, I did, and I must admit, it went quite well.”

“Mmm, I’m sure it did. Did you say yes?”

“Naturally. It’s only logical with such charms as mine.” He flipped his hair over his shoulder dramatically, like a model for a hair commercial.

The same comfortable silence settled over you again as you took in the events of the past half hour. Then his eyes met yours, gray like clouds on a snowy day, and you found yourself unable to look away.

“Can I kiss you?” he blurted out.

“Please do,” you breathed, anticipation bubbling somewhere low in your stomach and spreading throughout your body.

His hand brushed your cheek before coming to cup the back of your head, his other hand pulling you closer by your waist. Then his lips brushed yours, a feather-light touch, as if he were afraid you’d pull away. You gripped his shoulder with one hand, using the other to run your fingers through his hair in an attempt to assure him that you wanted this.

It was like someone flipped a switch in him. He pressed his lips to yours, and you knew if you had been standing, your legs would have buckled out from under you. The kiss wasn’t hungry like you expected it to be; instead it was sweet and loving, like you were the ambrosia of the greek gods, or the air he needed to live.

Suddenly, you knew why girls boasted about being kissed by him, gushing about the details to their friends. It always seemed strange to you; why they bragged about something that was essentially a one-time event, but now you understood. If you were to die today, at least you’d die happy.

The need to breathe finally forced you apart, but it wasn’t strong enough to break the spell that surrounded you. Sirius was still so close he filled your senses; all you could smell was Sirius, all you could hear was Sirius, and all you could feel was Sirius.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmured, pulling back so he could look at you as your eyes fluttered open.

“I’ll bet you have,” you grinned, not fully believing him but unwilling to ruin the moment with your doubts.

“It’s true, (y/n), I’ve only ever had eyes for you.”

“You’re serious?”

“Why, yes, I am Sirius,” he joked, but soo, turned serious again. “But I’m also forever yours.”

Forever- what?

“Wait, were you the one to write me all these letters?” Realization hit you as the pieces fell into place, and like the parts of a puzzle, they fit perfectly.

Sirius Black was your secret admirer.

“I’m surprised it took so long.” He was back to his teasing, a grin plastered on his beautiful features. “I almost thought I had to paint a large sign proclaiming-”

“Shut up, Black,” you muttered, shoving him playfully. “You’re so annoying.”

“But you love me anyways.”

Merlin, why did you have to fall for the cockiest prick in the school?

“You’re right, I do.”

His grin grew even wider at that, if that was even possible, and he leaned in to kiss you again.

You let him, because- well, why wouldn’t you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn't take long before you grew closer, so close in fact, you were nearly attached at the hip. James often joked he ‘couldn’t tell where Sirius ended and you began’ but he would stop laughing when Remus smacked him upside the head and told him to ‘let them enjoy the beauty of love, Prongs.’

You now sat on Sirius’s bed, reading a book. Your homework was long finished and you were waiting for him to come back for cuddles. Why were you in the boys’ dorm? You were keeping Remus company while the other two were out playing a prank.

They burst through the door soon enough, chattering excitedly and laughing at their poor victim’s reaction. Sirius moved to lie on the bed with you but you stopped him. He tried again and you repeated your previous movement, leaving no space for him.

“Love, is there something I’m missing?”

“Yep.” You grinned cheekily. “You forgot kisses.”

A look of realization crossed his face as he chuckled. “I’ve kissed you so many times already, but I wouldn’t mind another.”

You leaned up to meet him as he captured your lips with his own, despite James’s gagging. You heard him yell in indignation; Remus must have smacked him again.

“Have I earned my seat?” he asked when you separated.

“Definitely.”

Shifting so he could sit behind you, you kissed him on the cheek quickly as he made himself comfortable behind you. His arms came to rest around your waist, pulling you into him. You felt his body warmth through your robes on your back and you snuggled into him.

“What are you reading?”

“A romance story,” you replied, turning the page and angling the book so he could read along, for you knew that while he’d never admit it in order to keep his reputation untarnished, he actually enjoyed reading from time to time.

“You’d think she has enough romance in her life with lover boy there,” James snickered to Remus. You only threw a pillow at him, barely looking up from the captivating story. Judging from his reaction, your aim was spot on, and Sirius muffled his laughter in your neck.

“Sirius, that tickles!” You attempted to squirm away from him, but his grip was too strong.

“Does it, love? How about this?” he asked, now pressing light kisses to your neck. You squealed, swatting him away with your book.

“You’re a prick,” you huffed, pretending to pout when you finally succeeded in putting some distance between you and your ‘attacker.’

Sirius gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “You don’t mean that, now, do you?”

You tried to maintain your composure, you really did. But he was gazing at you with the most adorable, yet pitiful puppy dog eyes, and so, you caved.

“No, I don’t. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he grinned, wrapping his arms around you again.

You then continued reading, his head resting on your shoulder as he followed along. You probably got a bit lost in the story, since before you knew it, the light from the window was dimming.

“You know,” Sirius mused, “I don’t know where I’m going quite yet, but I know I want you here with me.”

“Wait- what? Sirius, you don’t know what the future holds.”

“I know, but I mean it. When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me - is you.”

Sniffling slightly, you turned to face him. “You are so much more romantic than you let on, you know. Shouldn’t you at least warn a girl before you go around being heart-meltingly sweet?”

“A bit late for that, isn’t it?” he hummed, hands running up and down your sides as his gray eyes gazed into yours.

You couldn’t resist anymore; you leaned down to kiss him. The moment your lips met, you were sucked back into this world that consisted only of him, the world you entered every time you kissed him. But what discerned this kiss from all others was the promise it held, the promise of a future, of a happy ending.

And it did; you live happily ever after.

Taglist: @the-moon-and-the-book @decalcomanei

[spectracully]

crash the crush.

pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k

summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?

You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.

With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.

Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.

yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd

You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.

y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle

You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.

The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.

yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle

You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 

yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀

You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.

y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car

You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 

You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.

After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.

It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?

yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight

You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-

Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 

"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.

Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.

y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead

You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.

"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 

Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.

You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.

"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.

He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.

You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.

y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK

Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.

yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME

y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK

yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK

y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW

y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun

yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!

You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.

You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?

Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.

"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.

Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.

You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,

He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”

Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 

You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”

“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!

You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”

He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”

Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.

“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-

But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.

He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”

You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.

He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.

Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.

“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”

“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.

“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”

“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,

“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.

You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.

-------

It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.

The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.

You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).

Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.

“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.

You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.

Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.

Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.

“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.

Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.

But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?

You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.

“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.

“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”

Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.

Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.

After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.

Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.

Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.

-----

It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.

You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).

You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.

“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.

Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?

You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”

“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.

3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!

He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”

-

The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.

Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.

You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.

Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?

As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.

You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.

“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.

Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.

“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.

Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.

You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.

“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.

You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?

“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”

You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.

“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.

Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.

“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.

You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.

You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.

Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.

“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.

You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.

Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)

[5-jorjas-in-the-fence]

Field.

Modern au- Javid

Quick TW for swearing and angst :)

“We’re here.” Davey unloked his seatbelt and put the car in park, his confused partner stared at him from the passenger seat, slouched and tired.

“Davey listen, not sure what you’re scheming but... why are we here at 2 in the bloody morning?” Jack sniffled from the cold air that surrounded the car, and siged as Davey scrolled on his phone for a brief moment before putting it in his back pocket.

“Cmon. I promise ya, it’s going to be great.” He reassured. Jack unclipped his seatbelt and stepped out of the car into the night. Crickets sang around them in the still air and hundreds of stars illuminated the sky. When Jack bought his eyes back down to the ground, he saw a large field of overgrown dried grass at least up to his knees.

Davey stood at a fence post, denim jacket around his shoulders as he pulled an old broken gate aside.

“Davey Jacobs breaking into a property? Well well well aren’t you a bad boy?”

“Shut up.” He hesitantly replied as he closed the gate behind them. He had never broke into somewhere before, but considering that the paddock was empty, he didn’t see the harm of entering. In the distance a small farm house sat, but he knew they were safe.

Jack trudged behind his boyfriend, following reluctantly. “You going to murder me out here?”

“If you don’t shut up I will.” Davey playfully remarked.

Finally, he stopped in his tracks when they were at the centre of the field. He turned to face Jack, and stared at him with his hands in his pockets. Their breath danced infront of them in the cold. Jack looked at his shoes and kicked a bit of dirt. “So... why are we here?” He asked again.

“For this...” Davey took a deep breath and then just... screeched into the night. His scream evaporated in the air, it had no where to bounce off and get thrown back. It was gone.

“Wha- what are you doin? You ok?” Jack grew concerned and jumped at the loud remark, perhaps the loudest he’d ever seen Davey.

“A bit better now. Now it’s your turn.” Davey grinned back.

“Davey, I’m not going to randomly scream ok?”

“Trust me. What’s annoying you? What makes you mad? Think of everything Joe did to you. Think of your parents. Your sister. Think of everyone who’s ever done you wrong. Think of what you wish were different. And just- let it out.” Davey removed his hand from his pocket and reached to Jacks shoulder with reassuring eyes.

“Jeez fine... ahhh” he barely screamed.

“That’s it?” He raised an eyebrow. “No. You need this. I know you do. I’m going to give you some privacy cause I know there’s been a lot going on right now. I’ll be in the car... in the heater. So have fun.” Davey began to trudge back to the car before Jack could protest, soon he was alone in the paddock. No one but his thoughts to keep him company.

Making sure Davey was in the car and on his phone, he let everything catch up to him.

“FUCK!! Fucking damn it god damn shit you fucking dickhead! Why!? WHY!? Why the fuck did you have to...?? FUCK YOU!” He screamed into the void, letting himself go and stomp like a mad man. Eventually he just let the tears fall. “I COULD HAVE BEEN GONE! I COULD BE FUCKING AWAY FROM THIS SHIT AND WHERE AM I!? IM IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING FIELD ALONE AND SOME FUCKING FAMILY HAS NO CLUE! Oh yeah... FAMILY! Something I won’t ever FUCKING KNOW!!!!” He kicked at the dirt, letting it ripple around him. Falling to his knees, he gripped the collar of his shirt.

Silence and the crickets. A deafening sound.

As he huffed into the mist, it was almost as if the stars replied back to him. He began to mumble to himself, think everything out loud. “You know what? You do folks like me dirty, don’t even give us a fucking chance. No, what do you give us? You give us no family. No home. No childhood. For fuck sake I shouldn’t have spent my childhood on the streets. Companionship? What happened to that, huh? I’ve lost my best friends, my brothers. My immediate family doesn’t even know I exist. I have no one...”

The wind changed, sending a shiver down his spine. Like clockwork his whole attitude shifted and tension was gone. Shaking with the cold, he breathed into the void. “I have Davey...” he let himself repeat the name over and over. Turning his head to the car, he saw Davey bopping his head lightly to some song and drum his fingers on the steering wheel. He watched as he rest his head on the car seat, a content smile on his face. A light smile etched itself onto his face.

When Jack returned to the car, he made sure his tears were gone, that Davey would never know what he was screaming about.

“Not so bad was it?” Davey interviewed.

“No. I guess not.”

He started the engine and they left the Field Of Therapy.

[vulcanette]

I swear to god the day I’m able to filter/blacklist pet death videos off of tiktok is the day all of my mental problems are going to evaporate and im going to become normal

[radiovisual]

slides vox over for a sex dream, he's ready to star in ur sex dream, al

(( he fuckin w o u l d be, the bastard >:3c fair warning though--while sex may be the Topic, this dream probably Wont be very sexy sfgADDG

(( post Writing It edit: im so sorry, it. turned into an introspective nightmare for him, alastor doesn't get nice dreams apparently asdfgHJKL

It was a restless nap, this one.

"Stop moving!" Alastor cried out in frustration, sitting up and pulling at his ears when Vox laughed at him.

"I'm not moving--you just can't grab it right," The television taunted from his relaxed position, laying back on the floor of the palace bathroom, eyes closed with his hands folded behind his head.

"What do you mean I can't grab it right?! It's not--It shouldn't be this difficult! Why won't it hold still!?" He asked angrily, stomach roiling with the familiar tidal waves of anxiety and dread, "What am I doing wrong? Why won't you just touch me?!"

He has grabbed Vox's arms, pulling them up and trying to put Vox's hands somewhere on his torso--his chest, his stomach, his shoulders, his hips--But Vox sat up and eventually he was holding Alastor's wrists, standing them up and dragging him to the ivory tiled, gilded shower.

"Allie, Allie--When did I ever say that I wanted to touch you?" Vox crooned as he shut the shower door, the sounds of the gala and the circus outside fading into the sound of the water turning on. Alastor made a grimace, his face and body burning as Vox pressed him to the wall.

He had said he wanted to touch him, he had--he had to have! Alastor can remember it clearly, and Vox was touching him right now, but the air separating the cyan talons from his body, though slim, was hard and insulated--like trying to force the wrong ends of the magnets to meet. He could feel Vox, he could feel the pressure, he could see him there, pinning him, but his scent was lost in the steam and the gut wrenching sensation unique to rejection still made him choke up.

"Shut up--SHUT UP! Don't--Just--Stop! Stop trying to make this weird! Just fuck me, please! Just fuck me--" He had started to demand, before he gasped at being hoisted up, large hands wrapped around him like a tool.

It felt like being doused in ice water when Vox penetrate him. It didn't feel like it was really happening, but it was perfectly painful all the same--far too large and nonexistent at the exact same time.

He wanted to feel afraid for a moment, but when the other started thrusting into him, and he clung to him for dear life with a sob that was too private to echo, that dense air between them left, and all he felt was warmth. He felt so small, and underneath Vox he felt hidden--it was wonderful.

And then he was gone.

Like the rug torn out from under him, like he'd blacked out, suddenly he was sprawled on the floor of the shower, aching and watching Vox preen himself in the mirror--adjusting his collar, checking for dead pixels on his screen.

"... Wait--Vox, w-where are you going..?"

"I'm... Leaving? Obviously?"

Alastor struggled to his feet, peering out of the shower to the door--it was open to the hallway, with a whole assortment of other overlords and sinners milling about.

His heart jumped to his throat and burned as he stomped a hoof and whispered furiously to Vox, "You're not allowed to just leave! You're supposed to want me! You're supposed to want to stay! To protect me! Is--Isn't that how all this works with you people?!"

Vox gave him a look through his reflection--one of pity.

"Well yeah, Bambi, of course that's how it works."

"Then why are you leaving?!"

Vox turned to him, walking over and grabbing his chin to make him look up. Alastor shook at the touch, leaning into it and grabbing Vox's arm tightly. The television continues to give him that pitying look, sighing.

"Well, do you want me to be honest?"

"Please."

"There's not much worth protecting in you, Alastor."

The deer choked, the talons squeezing his throat like a vice were hateful, disgusted, as he felt the tears well up in his eyes, "I'm sor ry--I'ms oRRY--!"

Vox looked down at the convulsing demon disapprovingly now. Alastor jolted when he felt wires grab his legs, pulling them apart--and then again when Vox pulled him out of the shower, shoving him towards the far wall, where the wires collected and strung him up. The sinners in the hallway were frozen, unrecognizable, and they stared at him.

The tears flowed freely but he couldn't utter a sound--he watched Vox return to the mirror. His screen flickered and his face disappeared. The image of a train on it's tracks replaced that--the train whistle came from outside, painfully loud as the room began to shake as if the machine was racing by just past the wall behind Alastor.

He screamed and began tearing at the wires, "Shut up! Stop it! STOP IT! It's not true! It's not! You can't do this to me! I gave you what you wanted! I gave you everything I could! Please--Please stop!" He yelled, yanking himself free enough to dash past the wolves, out into the hall after Vox before tripping.

Vox glanced back at him, and Alastor sobbed as he reached out, "I don't know what I'm doing! I'm trying--I'm trying, I swear! I can get better, I promise! I can be what you want, I can be enough, I can, I swear! Please just come back! Please! Please don't leave--!"

He awoke with a sudden jerk of his leg, heart racing and eyes wet. He sat up and looked around, wiping his face dry and letting his breathing steady.

That was... Something.

God, where did that come from..?

The dream evaporated unfortunately quickly--and all he was left with an overwhelming sense of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, twisting him nauseous. He groans to himself and reluctantly stands up with a stretch.

Whatever that was, he'd rather not return to it right now.

Naptime over.