#i swear not to start shit again
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love like fools: ava falls in love with Sara in high school (unrequited) and they reconnect as adults when Sara has a child
this city: same universe, but they fall in love earlier in high school and never really move on, they reconnect as adults and fall in love all over again
new fic idea: same universe, but they fall in love much much later, after they reconnect as adults, after oliver leaves again. after jay has already endured oliver's rejection, after sara has actually actually taken him back and almost even married him, and the pain and heartbreak is still raw for the both of them. and ava is still going through life alone, alone, the way ava has always been before them, she's still only talking to her parents once a forthnight, she's still vowing she's leaving star city as soon as she can again, up until she meets the child that they adopt in llf and starts fostering her on her own and everything changes because now she has to grow roots here, she has to stay. and then, of course, fate mocks sara and ava and tells them "no, you silly little things. this is what love is like."
#i know i already have 3 major wips for this ship only your honor#i swear not to start shit again#avalance#my fics
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A recreation of something that happened that really peeved me:
Me, to another cod blog: Hey! I mean this nicely but it would be really great if you could put trigger warnings on this fic you wrote that included abuse
The blog: *no response blocks me*
Me: oh okay fuck you I guess.
#I sometimes hate the cod fans on tumblr I swear to god#I’ll get back to writing soon just needed a vent.#I’m too depressed for shit like this I try to do the right thing in a kind way and this happens#call of duty#price x reader#soap x reader#task force 141#call of duty x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#cod fanfic#cod 141#cod x reader#you guys say you people should add trigger warnings to things but when we start asking you block us.#I’m so done with this app#I swear to god I don’t want to leave again but the more I’m here the more I want to
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BAKA !! BAKA !! BAKA !!
herez three silly billiez !!! the silliest of them all !!! ¥_^
★ cadaverous by @thecultoflove
★ chester by me :3
★ mortimer by @sylvermoths
#im rlly rlly super tired right meow but i managed to finish thiz in under two hourz . so thatz a personal victory#uhm#i felt like shit again so i wanted to make fanartz of the meowz ....#because ..... theyre cute .......#sniffle#doll . please forgive me for just writing “fart” on cade'z eye patch#i initially wanted to make some elaborate personalized dezign but i started fighting to stay half awake#and all i managed to squeeze out was that#“fart” ...#://#ALSO CORBIN IM SORRY IF MORTIMER IZ KINDA PLAIN#IM SUUUUPERR SORRY IF YOU BOTH DONT LIKE THIZZ#i swear im gonna make better#initially i wanted to make 3 drawingz but it became clear by the half-hour mark of thiz one that making theze in one day wouldnt be feasible#so uhm#im gonna go to bed meow ...#ouuhhh you can kill me with hammerz itz okay itz okaayyy ......#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#dhmis coffin#dhmis hv chester#yes im tagging thiz az him because ive made less than 10 art postz about him and itz a shame#i miss him ....#triple baka#redraw#screenshot redraw#fanart#fanart for a friend#fanart for friends
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I've blocked the same dude like three times now and for some reason I'm still seeing whenever they reblog one of my posts or whenever they add something to a post I'm subscribed too, what the hell tumblr 😩
#this guy is an asshole and gives me cop vibes tumblr why are you making me see this shit#seriously is everyone i've blocked actually unblocked and this dude is just the only one i've discovered#or has tumblr just decided that i have to keep seeing this particular person over and over again?#i'm just starting to crawl out of my latest depression hole and this shit is gonna send me right back in i swear
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dp fanfic ideas are getting to me again goddammit
#so like a typical giw facilities type thing with enclourses and all#but the ghosts keep escaping and so they commission the dr. fentons to make a weapon that calms ghosts#like an anathesia#BUT its the fentons so it doesnt work that way it actually just switches the fear of the ghost into what it wants. desires (NOT OBSESSION)#but what is the fear of the ghost in the moment? being stuck with the giw. so they calm down and let the giw take them and keep them#<- which makes it LOOK like its behaving as it should#so they use it more and more and the giw mass ghost kidnappings are becoming widespread- now successful#so set the scene. phantom teams up with some rouges and co to break some ghosties out#it works but the giw are hot on their trail and phantom-being a fenton-sacerfices himself for the team and is used as a distraction#(so the others get away)#BUT he doesnt fear being taken by them. fuckin hero complex kicking in and all#which means that when they use the gun. he isnt complict. at all#because whats his greatest fear? becoming a monster. and so. it flips. to what he wants.#and uhm. the giw arent there anymore#BUT as said before his obsession wasnt overidden so he cant hurt civilians and stuff#(his core rationalized the giw being a threat to peace and others safety so it uh. made an exception.)#but while he was taking them down he got shot again by the weapon. (a fruitless attempt really)#and uh. is being a monster is his (former) worst fear. pray tell what is the runner up to that?#people thinking hes a monster.#and yknow. he may not be able to harm innocents and good people#but he CAN pretend. really fucking well#and uh. yeah :) thats all i got and also some reactions by team phantom on it#<- some of the escapees and the rescuer ghosts saw the start of what happened to phantom while they ran#and considering the fact that they havent seen danny in a week? kinda concerning#(he swears he isnt avoiding them he just needs the time to set up he SWEARS-) meanwhile. hes lying to himself#someones priorities and mentalities switching doesnt necessarily change their morals or tolerances. just saying :)#yeah okay thats all i ACTUALLY got#really busy and will be busy and very tired rn so nothing may come of this#fanfictionfuckeries#<- starting a tag for this typa shit? more likely than ya think :)
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finally got around reading the first two stories of Tevinter Nights last night and Down Among the Dead Men by Sylvia Feketekuty kinda made me want to start my first Rook with the Mourn Watch, ngl
#One of my besties lend me the book a while ago and i only now felt kinda ready to start it (im sorry!!)#but the absolute delight I had with that story i swear to god Audric my son my love my boi#also when Manfred was mentioned and i was like ?????? Emmrich??????#i actually didnt want to plan a rook beforehand because as i know myself i will change her up halfway thrpugh the game anyways and start#again but i was kinda already thinking about either making a silly little goose that was kinda a badass but funny (kinda a purple hawke)#or making a stoic and proud woman with her head held high who doesnt take anyones shit (more of a noble woman who knows how to play thegame#theyre both also defo mages because i always play mage except for DAO also the fucking ORB GUYS COME ON#da4#datv#da tevinter nights#tevinter nights#dragon age#dragon age 4#da rook
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I'm not longer sad (lying) so let's go back to AATC
#i erased my old blog and i'll have to start again which is perfect bc i have started to like more the idea of separate my fanarts#so creating a new blog for each fandom is a less messy#i mean... i have already 10 blogs but i swear it's better for me on this way#anyways...#BROTHERS!!! WE LOVE THEM#aatc#alvin and the chipmunks#alsooo i decided to try Ibis paint and im having a pretty good time!#i still draw like shit with just my finger but i promise ill get better!
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biggest complaint about you is your not a big enough hater about kralsei. Get rageful with it. Make a whole rant about how gross it is in canon. Let the rage take over
oh it takes everything i have to not say swears about it like every day trust me. i am kra/lsei number 1 biggest hater
#and number 1 biggest poly scc hater evidently (looks out on the sea of users who’ve blocked me/that I’ve blocked)#i hope I’m not in their thoughts bc they’re not in mine HDNDNNSNJ#that one I’ve just been louder about bc they’re my By Far favorite characters#but honestly I’m a lot more vindicated when it comes to My Hate Of K/ralsei#but anyway yeah its fucking weird even with what we see in canon. kris is uncomfortable around ralsei. they don’t want him to hug them aft#after the spam neo fight. ralsei tea heals them the least out of their friends. ralsei is +60 noelle is +70 susie is +120#noelle saying ‘hey that guy looks like asriel’ susie saying ‘he kinda looks like your mom’ (bc she’s never seen asriel)#kris probably looks at him and sees their brother But Not Quite.#AND I SWEAR TO FUCKIMB GOD. ‘whuh buh but kris clearly isn’t biological related! and then ralsei clearly isn’t Actually related to the dree#to the dreemurrs’ SHUT THE FUCK UP ! shut the entire fuck up ! even so. you don’t know shit actually !#look me in the fucking face and acknowledge. 1 adopted families are real families. don’t fucking start w that shit#2 if you look at someone who looks like your fucking Brother and go ‘would.’ there’s no saving you actually#kr/alsei likers are fucking weirdos you can take that one to the bank#not even getting into All the art I’ve seen of ‘kris Doesnr like ralsei but ralsei likes them and the player wants them together and ral#and ralsie is Using this to his advantage to Be in that relationship even though Kris Doesn’t Like It. fucking nasty.#the monarch’s court#stops pacing. smooths my hair. ok I’m normal again
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if they Tamlen solas' ass, that might just be IT for me
#weak! lazy!#o hhe's doomed! he's doomed! death flags all around!#GOD FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE A GOOD FUCKIGN REDEMPTION ARC#ITS BEEN 16 YEARS SINCE ZUKO#do NOT message me about loghain i swear to GOD#i will be SO pissed if nothing the inquisitor/rook does matters wrt solas' fate#like if he dies no matter what#and the ''good option'' is your inquisitor is just?there? so he's not 'alone'?? bc they want a tear jerker#its like okay so alllll my choices in dai and trespasser didnt matter. again.#like i am just praying they use any of the cool shit available in the narrative#we canonically have time travel. we canonically have been able to the cure the blight. like#are u telling me. dorian pavus. mage who co-invented time travel#wouldn't be able to think of another way to remove the veil safely?#bullshit.#i just have this nagging feeling in my gut#that weekes thinks a 'hopeful romance ending' is akin to like. some stupid dr who shit#like i will also fucking throw my keyboard if its like. 2 solas'.#get out of there w that shit#like what if love changed everything? hmm? what then?#and i KNOW they said they're trying to give closure to all the various attitudes towards solas. problem?#i have never and will never trust a goddmn thing any bioware employee says.#tamlen was my first love so you see this is where the problem started
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The light of the Jedi?
Come on Star Wars give her a break that woman is very tired
Bonus fans under the cut:
…
#i spend an ungodly amount of my life thinking about this poor lady#also i love her new look#also i love her#me accidentally rendering the scar nice and deciding I need to render EVERYTHING now#i started drawing this cuz I need to wait for the comic until I can continue my fic#guess which poor idiot thought it will come out tomorrow#me#now I made myself sad#my obsession with this traumatized space wizard is not very good#me and my mommy issues staring at Avar Kriss: well shit#Star wars I swear don’t kill her#i will cry very much#also shadows of starlight 2 preview?#God my angst loving heart#im ranting in the tags again#sorry#the high republic#star wars the high republic#avar kriss
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gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach
#I need to do some sort of physical activity and that always felt good#but it has always been deadname and women's locker room#then big hiatus from my part#and now I'm back again. again with the deadname and women's locker room#but it feels so wrong#and today I felt like shit because there was people in the locker room#but what is the solution?#to come out ?#they'll laugh.#I don't pass#I never pass#I think people at university don't misgender me only because they're kind#but I don't pass#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you#but we all know they'll never not see the hips the chest the face the high pitched voice#and I have been stuck here since forever#everyone I know. EVERYONE#is now either on t or can pass#even people who've idk started after I was already going to the therapist because of it#and yes everyone has their own oath and yadda yadda yadda#but why I'm stuck?#I don't understand why I can't go on.#I feel like shit#and mother is ok with it but I know she still hatesthis whole thing#I gave her time I swear#but I miss her#and I tried telling her this and she. she doesn't want to hear it#because in her mind “if you really want it you do it”#like I could pass by sheer willpower#personal
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okay was i supposed to read the next skully p book? yeah
do i want to? no
it be great if someone could just psychically beam it into my brain please and thank you
#skulduggery pleasant#mind full of murder#sp#I swear im getting to it#and I'll try and start saying funny shit again
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no one really talks about how hard it is to reclaim the things you love once you’ve shared them with someone who hurt you.
#It’s been over a year and I’m just now getting back into critical role#my literal comfort show for drawing and it got tainted#I’m glad to be back here and able to watch again#and have started lotr watches with friends to remember how much I loved the trilogy before that person ever came along#but it’s such a long road to reclaiming all these things I shared#just as much as my writing#wishing you could take it all back sucks#but all you can do is move forward#anyways#a bit of a personal thing this morning#back to your regular scheduled shit posts soon I swear!!
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tiktokers be like “I am going to create the most beautiful, relaxing, aesthetically pleasing video ever, with gorgeous lighting, and deeply satisfying content”. …….. “and then I’m going to cut the video fifty thousand times in thirty seconds-”
#chatting tag#WHY. WHY. PLEASE.#I swear like every gifset I ever see that comes from tiktok is like the most gorgeous shit I’ve ever seen in my life#(specifically those videos of food that have really sunny lighting. OUGH that’s my SHIT)#but then EVERY TIME there’s like 5 cuts in every single individual gif. and it drives me crazy#don’t get me wrong they are good gifsets and it is not the gif makers fault. and obviously I know why the tiktok makers do that#bc there’s such a short time limit on the videos and they want to keep their attention and what not#but I swear to god they will make cuts that are SO FUCKING UNNECESSARY like just cutting literal milliseconds out of a satisfying shot.#which makes it no longer as satisfying. why. why do you do this to me.#listen I just have this secret rule that I never use gifs that have any cuts in them at all in my boards#unless they’re like really really nice. but even then like only two cuts max or I go crazy. I don’t like how weird and choppy it looks!!!!#so then like all of the prettiest gifs ever. I can’t use. BC THERES SO MANY GIDDAMN CUTS#like there’s so many videos I’d want to make gifs of but you can’t even get like a millisecond long gif out of it without including cuts 😭😭#ugh. anyways. that was my unnecessarily petty and extensive rant that I’ve just been holding in for a while. sorry.#also sorry but the other thing that bothers me is that stupid logo taking up half the gif.#one of my othe hyper specific secret rules is that I cannot use any gif that has a visible logo or watermark on it bc it drives me nuts#and like. not to rag on gif makers. bc gif makers are the most wondrous thing in the entire world and everything they do is great.#but I DO know a REALLLYYY easy way to download TikTok’s without the watermark it’s so simple it would take like two seconds. please. for me#just look up tiktok video downloader there’s like four good functional websites immediately. it’s so easy#let’s all start doing this pls we could make the most perfect gifsets ever without that ugly ass logo#(again not mad at gifmakers. I love u gifmakers. muah.)
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I swear if my period doesn't start tomorrow im gonna kill myself (hyperbolic) ♡
#two days ago i was having All the symptoms and was absolutely ready for it to start#now look at me in my clown make up and clown costume still waiting for something to stop the torture#of pms#something that will be Way more painful but still be better than THIS#i swear it's weeks like this that make me think of doing chasteberry again#(yes i like to talk about it like it's a drug habit. i hate chasteberry. it sucks. it leads to other horrors#but it Does kinda alleviate the horrors of pms so i gotta pick my poison i guess. but then again. getting a period Every month seems just#way too excessive. i can't deal with that shit. BUT THEN I'LL HAVE 3 WEEKS OF PRE PERIOD HORRORS AND IDK IF THAT'S BETTER RN)#end me#void screams#tumblr. my personal period tracker app ♡
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I cant even explain why i am so upset seeing Esteban and Ryo in the Haas
#why am i insane over the haasbands#legit upset IM AT THE OFFICE I CANT CRY HERE#maybe its how the team was starting to look good and now nicos left for a team which has frankly been shit for years#hes starting all over. again.#i swear to god if esteban gets a podium next year in the haas nico and kevin helped build#i dont have anything against ocon i just have alot against hulks shit luck#and kevin was with the team for so long!!#if anyone deserved a podium in the tractor is was the two of them
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