#i swear it's fucking with my adhd and making my life 5 times harder

[areyoudoingthis]

I'm gonna have to get on the evil pills pms is really ruining my life

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

I'm going to talk about sleep hygiene for a minute here, I've made a new post bc the other one was getting a bit long and I've the shower fam that I know struggle with sleep; if I've missed anyone please @ them because this is one of those things that no one tells you about but is actually a really important life skill.

So what is sleep hygiene? Sleep hygiene is the term for all the little habits that can help you get have a good sleep. It mostly revolves around forming a pattern that will get your brain to think "okay, time to switch off". One of the first things you need to do is try to stop doing anything in your bedroom that isn't sleeping. Now I know if you live in shared accommodation/with your parents that's pretty much impossible but you can do is avoid watching TV, using tablets/phones/laptops, etc. in bed. What you're trying to do here is whenever you get into bed is get your brain to think "ah, time to switch off.

In a similar vain, it helps to build up a routine for bed. For example, brush your teeth, comb your hair, go to the toilet and change into your pyjamas is a good basic routine. I also include taking my meds, a hot drink and meditation (although I appreciate that a lot of people struggle with that and that's fine). It's just a matter of finding what works for you and again it's about getting your brain to understand that it needs to turn off now. It's also a good way of ensuring that you're taking your meds.

So you've got your routine but there's some other stuff to remember. Try to go to bed at the same time every night and to leave enough time to get enough sleep. Teens need about 8 - 10 hours in 24 and adults need about 6 - 9 but it varies from person to person. You can figure how much you need by getting as much sleep as you need (so no alarms, again easier said than done) for a week and timing how much you sleep.

On top of this you want to avoid using screens for about an hour before bed as the bright light makes your brain think it's day time. Similar, you want your room to be dark and quiet so you don't get disturbed during the night. If, like me, you do all your sleeping during the day then a set of blackout blinds and any kind of white noise generator is a life saver. I like rain noise but again, whatever works for you. You want to try and get your bedroom temperature to your own ideal and if you have/suspect you have ADHD then lowering the temperature can help. Daily exercise can also help but not in the run up to bed (it raises your heart rate and increase adrenaline).

You also want to try to avoid caffeine after 6 hours before bed; tea's not too bad, especially if you've built up a tolerance for it, but coffee and and energy drinks are a big no no. Heavy drinking will disrupt sleep (yes it it can help fall asleep but as it wears off it disrupts your sleep) and so does smoking. You also want to avoid large/heavy meals before as digestion and if you lie awake for 30 minutes it's best just to get up for a while and try again in a bit. Lying awake for hours makes it much harder to fall asleep.

Finally I'm just going to talk quickly about circadian rhythms but I'm not going into huge detail because it there's a lot information about it that's not really relevant to this topic. In essence it's a 24 hour cycle that dictates when your body wants to go to sleep and when it wants to be active. It is effected by light levels +which is why you need your bedroom to be dark when you're trying to sleep) and varies from person to person. That's why some people find early mornings extremely difficult and others can stay up late. As long as you're getting enough sleep, it's not so important where it falls but if you have to be up early it's worth doing some research into changing your rythem.

It's also worth remembering that if your disturbed sleep goes on for a long time it could be clinical insomnia and a sign that something else is going on. There's nothing wrong with speaking to a doctor if you're in a position to.

It's important to remember that these are habits that take time to form and take time to start working. Please don't beat yourself up if you mess it up at first or you don't see an immediate improvement; self-care is a skill and it takes time, practice and a lot of patience to develop. Take it from someone who's been there; it's something that I've been working on for nearly 5 years now and I've still got progress to make but I swear it's worth it in the end.

Feel free to tag anyone you think would benefit from seeing this and to ask questions if you have them (either on this post or dm/ask is fine.

@i-am-an-idiot @just-petty-thoughts @just-royal-thoughts @justdapperthoughts @just-haywire-thoughts @justfrogthoughts @sophisticated-gremlin-hunter @just-tripod-dog-thoughts @just-broken-thoughts @just-vanishing-thoughts @just-bubbly-responses @just-curtain-responses @dependent-thoughts @get-out-oftheshower-thoughts @just-bathbomb-thoughts @just-hatmaker-thoughts @just-restart-thoughts @fuck-showers-in-general

[background-noise-headache]

Hurt the Bard, but like, Emotionally/Non-lethally

Um, terribly painful Jaskier-whump idea. (This has some Geraskier elements in it, but in a pre-relationship, developing friendship way, featuring a lot of Geralt openly caring for Jaskier because that’s my head canon, Geralt speaks with actions and his eyes, not his words. 

I know the fandom likes to play with the idea of Jaskier’s parents being distant or abusive or neglectful. Which I do enjoy, but I vibe more with the idea that Jaskier had very supportive parents and that’s why he’s so confident and open and affectionate.

So, this: The court mage’s apprentice is bitter and angry seeing all this love that annoying brat (only a few years younger than him) gets. The jealousy is eating at him. Jaskier goes to Oxenfurt then sets out on his own to become a bard with the encouragement of his parents even if it’s not what’s expected of a viscount.

Somewhere between when Jaskier meets Geralt to the djinn incident (I imagine after Cintra) Jaskier is home for a while, telling his family about his adventures and being showered in love and sharing that love back with them, he’s missed them so much.

The apprentice is now the court mage and that anger has never gone away, just been buried and smothered because dude does not have the best coping mechanisms, no one ever taught him any. Asshole decides to cast a curse on Jaskier:

“Every kind word will cause you pain and make you rot on the inside, but no one will see the pain they cause you. It won’t kill you physically, but you’ll swear you’re dying. Every kind word, every compliment, will make you rot until the only relief and joy you get is when someone insults you. You’ll beg for them to hate you, beg for them to spit in your face.”

By the next day it’s clear how effective the curse is.

(Okay, trigger warning for body horror, skin issues, medical wounds. This is honestly me coping with a terrible nightmare I had a few years back that I never completely got over and sometimes I need to talk about it. So, bear with me, or skip to my line of astrisks)

(You know what, additional trigger warnings for toxic relationships and emotional abuse between Jaskier an characters only mentioned in the show but never seen. You know the ones)

By rot, I mean that when Jaskier looks at his skin it looks like it’s bruising, and then cracking, bleeding, pealing away. It’s molting and pussy and awful (that is specifically what it looked like in my dream, the skin on my left arm was molting.) But nobody fricken sees it! Jaskier can point to the wounds, groan in pain, nobody sees the cause. It’s not actually there, it’s technically in his head because that’s what the curse does, it won’t kill him, just rot him. 

So immediately Jaskier realizes he has to leave home because every time he sees his parents and his siblings and his neices and nephews they’re excited and happy and loving. They’re quick to realize something’s wrong, but Jaskier knows they can’t see the way his skin is turning. He leaves without saying goodbye because he can’t explain.

He travels, avoids his friends and familiar places where he’s known. But when he performs his audience will tell him how wonderful his songs were and patrons will flirt and it’s all pain. It’s less painful to avoid performing, but harder to survive without it. But he can’t always bear the pain, it’s just too much sometimes.

He runs into an old classmate. He and Valdo were never close, several years apart in age. They chat, they flirt, they go to bed together. Valdo is sparing with his compliments, and very observant. Because Jaskier gets irritable with pain and too many nice words makes him lash out, but insults stir a fire in his eyes that Valdo enjoys. He thinks he knows what Jaskier really wants. He’s not sure how he feels about it, but Valdo can’t remember the last time he had a fling so interesting and contradictory.

They travel for a while. Jaskier becomes a backup for Valdo’s performances, getting a share of the coin to get by and minimal attention. It’s better this way, he tells himself.

One drunken night he tells Valdo about the curse. To Valdo it makes too much sense and it’s so tragic and the tragedy makes it more romantic. The relationship is downhill from there as Jaskier realizes the kind of situation he’s gotten himself into and how he’s becoming dependent on Valdo’s cruelty, and how much crueler it feels if Valdo says something nice.

He leaves.

He meets the Countess. She flirts with insults and thrives making people feel lower than her. She pays him a lot of money to play for her and takes him to bed and rarely has a kind word and if he avoids drinking too much he’ll never fall into the same trap he did with Valdo.

And then a song begins circulating about a poor bard cursed to long for pain and cruelty, who will never know love again. Which fucking hurts worse than any of this shit before, the message that he’ll never be loved again burns.

The Countess grows bored and kicks him out. He travels for a few weeks, to tired and burnt out to perform and goes through his money fast. He also had jack-all in the way of travel supplies, not even a bedroll, so it’s a rough few weeks after he can no longer afford a bed under a roof.

And then he meets Geralt on the bank of the Pontar. Gods it’s nice to focus on someone else’s problems for a moment. And then the fillingless pie comment, and it’s the first time in a Gods-know-how-long time that he finds no relief in the insult, only annoyance. And that old habit of bickering with Geralt kicks in because even if it’s been a few years they’re still friends. 

(Yes, they’re friends. I head canon that Geralt says they’re not friends 1. because he has obvious abandonment issues and self loathing problems, as the fandom well knows, and 2. every time he says he and Jaskier aren’t friends, Jaskier insists they are with more and more evidence to prove it and it makes Geralt feel warm and fuzzy. Eventually they had that conversation and Jaskier knows what Geralt actually means/wants to hear when he says they’re not friends)

(also Geralt has been plagued with insomnia for weeks or months on end, and I’m telling you, you would be cranky too. Not getting enough sleep gives me migraines, worsens my snow vision, makes my ADHD worse, and makes me irritable. That’s why Geralt is so grumpy on the river bank)

So for a few minutes he forgets about the curse and the festering rot on his skin. And then the djinn, and he’d really like to get back at the two people that have hurt him the most recently, and then break this stupid fucking curse already.

No such luck.

And after all the djinn nonsense, Yen makes the offhanded comment, “Where’s your cursed bard run off to.”

“He shouldn’t be cursed any more.”

“Oh no, he was cursed long before the djinn.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!”

“I didn’t see it until you left.”

“And you didn’t break it?”

“It wasn’t killing him. The djinn was. One problem at a time. The djinn needed to be solved before this curse.”

So, yeah, Yennefer and Geralt find Jaskier outside and they have a long talk about it. Yen needs a day to prepare for breaking the curse because she’s already used a lot of chaos today and she needs rest. (And those two idiots need to talk, she can see it and it’s giving her a migraine she needs to sleep off)

Jaskier tells Geralt about the last year or so of his life. It’s fucking shit.

The curse is broken. There’s no sign of rot on Jaskier’s skin, no pain when anyone says something kind, like “we are friends” and “I missed you” which is a relief.

But the emotional changes won’t go away overnight. Jaskier responds to kindness with hostility and takes insults in silence. And Geralt isn’t doing well watching someone he cares about act... act like Geralt. Self-hating and believing they need cruelty to be normal. And there’s no traveling therapist either. So they’re doing the best they can. But it’s a rough few years as Jaskier unlearns all that shit.

It kind of convinces Geralt to get his head a little more out of his ass and stop hating himself so much, realizing how painful it must be for Jaskier and his brothers and Vesemir and Yennefer to watch.

The mountain is just a really awful few days. Jaskier takes Geralt’s lashing with minimal resistance. A comment that it’s not fair is a vast improvement from 5-6 years ago, but nothing like his younger self would have responded, all puffed up dramatics until Geralt realized how ridiculous he was being.

Geralt and Jaskier have an awkward, stunted few days hiking down the mountain, during which Jaskier decides he needs to go to the coast and sort himself out. He’ll see Geralt next spring.

He goes home and spends that autumn with his family. It’s the most healing three months he’s ever had. The mage has long since left, and Jaskier’s not sure he’ll ever get that closure, but he’ll take what healing he can get now. He’s more like his old self than he’s ever been since the curse broke.

And then Geralt shows up on the edge of winter, limping with an exhausted child surprise and a wounded sorceress by his side. Jaskier gives them shelter for a few nights but they can’t stay, they’ll in danger as long as they’re stuck down south.

The night before they leave, Geralt and Jaskier talk, clear the air. Geralt asks if Jaskier is happy. He is. So Geralt decides not to ask Jaskier to join him. Yennefer is the one to ask, because fuck that idiotic bullshit and Ciri already knows him from a few winters spent at Cintra and adores him, and he’s already great with kids, a skill Yennefer and Geralt can’t claim yet.

Jaskier’s family supports him, of course they do. He promises to return home soon.

* * *

So like, I was going to pose this as a writing prompt and offer it to anyone who wants to write it. I didn’t intend to develop it so much, but getting it out of my system helped a lot. I needed to get all those ideas out.

If it speaks to you, feel free to run with it, but please include a link to this original post or mentioned me. My ao3 is Shadowmightwrite17

(yeah, tbh, that nightmare still haunts me. I told my parents about it immediately, but I didn’t open up about it to anyone until last summer when I told my best friend about it. I was like, “did I ever tell you about that one nightmare I had where my skin was molting off my arm?” and he was like, “no. no you did not. wtf” But there was also a thing last week when I read a vaguely body-horror sentence in a Witcher fanfic about something moving under your skin and I remembered again, so like, I needed to talk about it somehow)

[spinningsidetable]

The Odd Couple: 1/?

Pairing: Octavian/Leo (leotavian)

Genre/Warnings: Canon Compliant to a Point, Canon Parallel AU, Octavian Lives, Soulbond, Soulmates, Some Depictions of Violence and Injury

Rating: Teen and Up

Leo could open his eyes before he could breathe.

His lungs were still stitching themselves back together, air couldn't push its way inside yet. Leo could see the sky around him, he could see his flesh rebuilding itself; scars vanished as new skin replaced the burnt remains of the old. Finally, air rushed in and he could breathe again. Panic had nearly set in, feeling like it was divine punishment for all of his misdeeds to die so soon after living again. Part of him thought he likely deserved it. As soon as Leo was well and able he turned to look at his surroundings better. Leo had no idea where he was, the sky gave no hints, all he managed to figure out was he was on the back of Festus. Then another gasp of air took him by surprise, and Leo all but spun in place to look behind him. There, a slumped over frame of someone else. Leo was pretty sure his vocal chords had rebuilt themselves at that point, but he couldn’t speak. Who the hell? The frame lurched up, head tipping backwards; Leo watched in morbid fascination as skin and hair recovered muscle and bone. The person blinked, blinked pale eyes at Leo. And then promptly punched Leo in the nose. Leo jerked backwards with a loud yelp, bringing his hands up to hold at his face. Admittedly, Leo’d been punched in the face much harder, but even a toddler hitting you in the nose still hurt. “You scum!” The other figure yelped out, looking at Leo like he was the source of all problems. Actually, he might have been. Leo recognized this guy, the pissy weird Roman. He was still toting purple robes and armor, but they were tattered and burnt. “...You!” Leo said, pointing a finger. “You’re…that guy! Uh…” “Octavian!” The blond yelled. “My name is Octavian, and you attacked my city! You attack us, and then you kidnap me?!” “Okay, calm down Draco Malfoy,” Leo glared. It was a bit of an insult to the fictional character. “I didn’t kidnap anybody, okay? I’m as shocked to see you here as you are me. Actually, correction, I’m more surprised, I literally just died and came back to life. I was kind of hoping the first people I’d see were my friends or a pretty girl. Not…this.” Leo waved a hand at Octavian’s stupid face which was twisted in anger and confusion. “Then what happened? Huh? Answer me, Graecus!” Octavian was ordering Leo around like he was…well, a rich white boy with a sense of entitlement, so, yeah no, that made sense. “I,” Leo started slowly with extra exaggeration. “I, was in the process of committing non-suicide to blow the earth lady back to the dirt she came from. Everything I did was part of the plan. You here, are not.” Octavian’s expression dripped condescension. “The dirt isn’t where she came from, she is the earth, you plebeian.” “Oh my God,” Leo said flatly. “That is so not the issue right now, like... what the fuck, why are you on my dragon?” It seemed Octavian hadn’t taken the time to notice that yet, and looked down, and immediately went white���whiter in the face. Leo wasn’t certain if he just realized he had been recently blown to smithereens or the fact they were thousands of feet in the air. “I-…I was about to fire an onager at the Earth Mother and you…and,” his face twisted in confusion. “I think I got caught up in it somehow…” Leo had very little sympathy at this point. Well, less so. Which seemed hard to do. “So, let me get this straight, you tried to legitimately murder me, and... accidentally fucked yourself over?” “You declared war on Rome,” Octavian said like it explained everything, excused everything. “I was protecting my people, from you, from the Earth Mother. I feel no guilt in my actions.” “Bullshit, you were protecting your reputation - oh gods, it feels good to cuss, I’ve been holding this in since Hazel’s whole 1940s thing.” Leo paused in the middle speaking as realization kicked in. Admittedly, not the best time for his ADHD to rear back up. Octavian didn’t look amused. But, then again, Leo was pretty sure Octavian was unable to be amused. Except by suffering. “Swearing is the first resort of the last to succeed.” “Okay, I’m done with you, I have no idea why you’re here, I’m guessing the Physicians Cure did double duty somehow, so I’m just going to drop you on the first piece of land I see-“ Leo was cut off but two arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him backwards in his seat until he was arching off in pain. “You will do nothing of the sort, or I will personally hold you here until the air leaves your…your...” The grip began to slip, and Leo decided it was time for payback and lit himself on fire. Or, tried to.  Nothing happened. The arms went limp regardless. “What the fuck?” Leo coughed and rubbed at his throat, but Octavian wasn’t looking at him, but down at his hands. “I couldn’t do it…” Octavian stared down at his palms like they betrayed him. “What is wrong with me? I couldn’t hold you…” Leo stared at him for a minute, absentmindedly rubbing at his neck, before snapping out of his surprise and reaching over to smack the man in the side of the head. Octavian seemed to snap out of it, and grabbed Leo’s hand before he could do it again. And then The Thing happened. An electric current, or that’s what it sort of felt like, ran down Leo’s spine; Octavian seemed to be much the same way, because they pulled back from one another at the same time. That was weird, Leo thought with a frown, but chose to ignore it. He was just dead 5 minutes ago, he’d dealt with weirder. The astrolabe on Festus began to whir, due to Leo’s modifications of course (they’re not known for moving on their own) and Leo turned away from the towhead to check. They were over Ogygia, Leo realized with some glee. Then it hit him that he’d have to introduce Calypso to Octavian and it just got really strange in his brain. “We’re going down,” Leo said, adjusting himself in his seat. “If you strangle me again, I’ll burn your ass.” Even if he couldn’t, Leo was all about finding ways in the impossible. “Going down?” Octavian looked around nervously, but like he was pretending not to be. “This piece of junk can’t hold us-“ Leo held up a hand on fire. “Do not. Ever. Call him a piece of junk.” Octavian looked at him like he was sizing him up, “or what, scum?” “Or I remove yours,” Leo said smoothly, and that got the reaction he wanted. “Good boy.” Octavian turned red, and opened his mouth to likely yell or probably throw racial slurs, Leo had no idea, but Octavian seemed the type to vote red. “Festus, not you, you’re an asshole. Festus is a good boy. Come on, buddy, let’s go get her.” “Get who?” Octavian hissed, looking around like a woman was just randomly floating around. “What monsters have you been cohabiting with?” “Calypso,” Leo said, “my girlfriend. I think. Probably?” “Not the…actual Calypso, surely?” Octavian looked horrified by the very concept. “Who else?” Leo rolled his eyes. “She’s great, you’ll hate her. Which makes her great.”

“Who el- I’m not the actual Octavian! It isn’t a strange question!” “…There was an actual Octavian? Two people chose a name that stupid for a baby?” “Gaius Octavianus, later known as Augustus, ushered in the Pax Romana, expanded his empire-“ Leo realized his mistake, as Octavian continued talking until they reached the soils of Ogygia, no matter how many times Leo told him to shut up in every language he knew. Calypso was waiting on the shore as they touched down, and opened her mouth to say something to Leo, before noticing Octavian sliding off of Festus. “Who is this?” “Sea Witch, I am Octavian of New Rome, Augur, Centurion.” Octavian introduced himself, but did not endear himself, as her eyes narrowed slowly. “If you attempt to sing your bewitching tunes, seductress, I will be forced to send you back to the pits of Tartarus.” Calypso looked accusingly at Leo who shrugged helplessly at her. “Not part of my plan. I hate him too, trust me. He’s tried to kill me like, what?” Leo looked back at Octavian who looked like he sincerely considered the question. “At least 5 times,” Octavian nodded to himself. “Yes, roughly 5, though the majority were one long sustained effort that you avoided. Leo gestured at Octavian, looking at Calypso, while making a few rude hand gestures towards the Roman. “So, I say we ditch him and go?” But Calypso was looking at Leo oddly, and then back to Octavian. There was a frown on her face, and a deeply sad one in her eyes. “Uh...Caly? Babe? Sunshine?” Leo stepped closer, and reached his hand out to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away.

“…Calypso?” “I see, well, it figures…The same thing always happens…” Calypso crossed her arms and took a few steps backwards. She was closing herself off, Leo didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that. Leo looked at her packed gear behind her, and took a step towards it. “Don’t,” Calypso warned, her eyes closed like she was in pain. “I’m not coming with you.” Leo stared helplessly, blinking hard. “W-what are you talking about? I…Come on, look we…don’t need to date, we never have to do anything like that, but-“ “Leo, I appreciate that, I really do. I care about you, truly. But…,” The girl turned away, tear streaks began to run down her face. “I’m sorry. Please leave.”

Leo felt nearly hysterical, looking between her, and Octavian who seemed more disgusted than confused. “I don’t understand, I just want to help, did I do something wrong-“ “Your fate is not mine, Leo. It’s tied to another.” Calypso’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I understand I can leave with you, right this moment. I do, but…after so long… I want someone to come for me whose fate is my own. I know you don’t understand, but maybe someday you will. Please.” Leo’s shoulders sagged, but as he looked at her he realized he couldn’t change her mind. It was like Echo all over again, but worse. He didn’t want her to be trapped here any longer. He didn’t care if she never loved him, Leo just didn’t want her to have to be alone. “I’ll make sure the Gods free you,” Leo said finally, voice thick with emotion. “If you won’t come with me, I’ll make sure you can leave when you want to. I won’t forget you. I will never forget you, Calypso, I swear on that.” Calypso smiled, tears in her eyes, taking a few steps closer to him to wrap her arms around his frame, kissing him on the cheek. “Go live your life, Leo. We’ll meet again, I’m sure. Goodbye, for now.”

“Goodbye, sunshine.” Leo whispered against her hair, and kissed the side of her head. “For now.” It was a promise.

When they left, he flew away without looking back. Octavian was quiet, for all of about 10 minutes. “You dated a monster?” Octavian’s voice was full of judgement, and Leo wasn’t having it right now. Leo could keep a lot of things bottled up, but just hearing Octavian speak was like nails on a chalkboard. So, he turned around and grabbed the blond by the shirt, pulling him forward to headbutt the Centurion in his stupid face. But, stopped short, as Leo’s body stopped moving against his will and he was left with his face just inches from Octavian’s who looked similarly shocked and disturbed. Leo realized Octavian had raised his own hands to push Leo away, but were just resting on Leo’s shoulders. Leo snapped back, the extent of the problem beginning to dawn in horror. “What the…why couldn’t I hit you?”

“Same reason I couldn’t hurt you, I’m guessing.” Octavian muttered. “Something strange is happening. “ “So we….can’t hurt each other?” Leo changed his mind drastically, because at the moment, he was actually thrilled for a new problem for his brain to focus on. It saved him from having to think about Calypso.

“I hit you in the nose, and you hit me back” Octavian said curiously. “So it appears some is fine.” Leo frowned, tapping against the bronze back of Festus in thought. “Was it though? Or was it surprise and shock more than an actual wish to injure? Try hitting me again.” Octavian looked baffled but pleased with the request. “You’re asking me to punch you?” It was like Christmas for creepy faced Romans, from the tone in his voice. Leo rolled his eyes. “Just do it already, dillweed.”

Octavian pulled his fist back for the wind up, and threw it forward in what would have likely broken his nose if it had actually made contact. But, it didn’t. Octavian’s fist stopped a few inches from Leo’s face. Octavian glared at his own hand, and tried again, and again, until it just looked sad and silly. “Okay, stop hitting the sky, big Z might take offense.” Leo sighed. Octavian tried again, and then muttered something about it being J not Z, but Leo ignored him. “It's the Physicians Cure. That’s the only reasonable explanation. “ Leo said his thought process out loud, pulling a small journal out of his belt and began to write down what they were noticing. “The what? You mentioned it before, what is it?” Octavian asked with clear annoyance in his voice as he leaned over Leo’s shoulder to see what he was writing. “Don’t call me that.” “Then don’t act like one,” Leo shot back and kept writing. “The Physicians Cure was what brought me, and I’m assuming you, back to life. It should have only been enough for one singular life, and yet here we are. My guess is something relating to that is the reason we can’t purposely injure one another.” Octavian scoffed at the thought. “How did someone like you get your hands on something like that? The Gods would never truly smile on a Graecus-“ “I made a bargain with a few, including Apollo, so, you know. Shut up.” Leo mumbled, still making notes, and not even glancing at the blond behind him. Octavian leaned back, and crossed his arms. He was used to people in New Rome expressing dislike and disrespect towards him, but at the very least they feared him in some manner. Leo Valdez did not fear, respect, or seemingly care about his existence in general; never even bothering to learn his name before he fired on his city. Octavian had been on the Argo when Leo attacked, appraising the vehicle and assessing the likelihood for warfare. Leo Valdez paid him little regard, acting like Octavian was more a piece of gum on his shoe than well known Centurion who had served Camp Jupiter for 7 years. All Octavian ever wanted was to raise New Rome to true glory, but few saw his vision. He had almost been thankful to the Greeks, a war was a good way to inspire people, but then that seemingly backfired. “We have to cross the ocean,” Leo said after a moment of calculating. It wasn’t just their physical situation he was thinking about, it was their location. They had left the space around Ogygia, but their place in the world was still a mystery until now. They were about where Leo had shown up before in Greece, maybe Festus went there on purpose. “What?” Octavian frowned, his own train of thought being cut off. “What ocean?” “The ocean is a big body of sea water, the blue one with all the fish, ever heard of it?” Leo sighed, grabbing up the astrolabe and turning his back to Octavian. Octavian wished more than ever he could spear him through. “Mediterranean, then we cross the Atlantic.” Leo announced, before beginning to chew on the tip of a pen Octavian had no idea where came from. “But, I think we might want to avoid the Atlantic as much as possible. It was not super chill last time we went over it, and there were more people and better provisions. I need to reroute our course.” “So we go north, or go south?” Octavian asked after a moment to think about the situation, and Leo looked at him with a bit of surprise. “Well, there are only two reasonable paths if we’re currently in the Mediterranean. We go north, and cross the UK and Greenland, and cross into the Northwestern Passage from there before heading south towards New York.” Octavian held up two fingers. “Or, alternatively, we cross into Africa and head south towards the West Coast, before crossing the closest point towards Brazil, before heading north through the Caribbean.” Leo continued to stare at blankly. “What?” Octavian seemed offended, but then again he always did. “I’ve already graduated from University with honors. You think me stupid?” “You said it, not me.” Leo said, reappraising Octavian. Sure, he hated him, but Leo could use brains right now. “You’re right though. I would figure Africa is the safest bet. You’d probably not survive the northern temperatures this time of year. I might be able to make my own warmth, but you can't. Of course, heading east and crossing the Pacific is a possibility, but not a good one. We have no idea what kind of monsters are over there, not to mention a much much longer flight across open ocean.” Octavian wasn’t entirely sure how to take that. He wasn’t really expecting the other boy to think of his general well being. He certainly didn’t return the favor. If Octavian could shove him from the dragon and commandeer it, he would in a heartbeat. “Plus,” Leo mumbled. “I am…sort of not on good terms with a very mean snow lady and her brothers in Canada. Probably not the best place to cross.” Octavian nearly felt a bit disappointed, though not surprised. It was good information however, any enemy of Valdez was a friend of Octavian. “Fine, a journey West then. How long will this take, anyway? Not too dreadfully long, I’d hope.” Leo burst out laughing, and just shook his head without answering.  “Oh my gods…” “I’ll take that as 'significantly longer',” Octavian sighed. “I was eager to get away from you, can you blame me?” Leo snorted, but didn’t seem to disagree. “You’re not the first, no, so the sensation has worn off by now.” Leo readjusted himself, cracking his knuckles. ”Better buckle up. You should have been able to tell our speed by now, honor student, we’ll probably take at least a week, and that is a conservative guess. Festus is fast, but not airliner fast, which means if we don’t just go across the Sahara, it’ll take most of the day to reach Morocco. Plus, I’d recommend taking a pitstop for a day before actually crossing the Atlantic, to see if we can find anything usable. We’ll need to strap ourselves in, because crossing is going to take close to 24 hours, and sleep is going to not be an option. And, that’s just the general shit, I’m not including everything else that will without a doubt happen.”

“Everything else?” Octavian was honestly confused by the statement, and Leo looked over his shoulder and grinned evilly. “Not been out of the country, huh? You’re not in San Fran anymore, bub, there be monsters here like you’ve never seen.”

And there were. They’d spent a number of relatively quiet hours flying to reach land, happily uninterrupted hours, but as soon as they reached the port of Alexandria in Egypt, everything went to hell in a hand-basket. They found themselves clinging onto the dragon while making some rather intricate moves to dodge some weird sphinx like monstrosity that attacked them. It had multiple wings, multiple faces, and a good portion of it was lion. “Curses!” Octavian hissed. “I don’t have a weapon, give me a weapon!” “I thought you didn’t curse?” Leo laughed, and tossed a fireball at the thing, but it didn’t do much. “I don’t think I trust you that much. You have tried to kill me, what was it, you said 5 times?” “Yes, but I can’t now!” Octavian yelled in frustration. “Just give me something! Why does it look more Babylonian than Egyptian, it makes no sense!” Leo handed him a letter opener. If Octavian was the one with fire powers, Leo’s head would have likely gone up in flames with the strength of his glare. He threw it anyway, and it pierced the head of the monster, which fell to pieces of sand. Leo’s jaw dropped, and Octavian preened. “Shit, that was pretty cool. You throw knives?” Octavian nodded proudly, but felt a weird sensation as he watched Leo’s face turn into a smile. Embarrassment? No, surely not. “Okay, still hate you, but cool. I’m pretty sure Will can’t do that.” “Will?” Octavian frowned. “Who is that? Another jilted lover?” Leo’s face immediately turned to displeasure. “I’m 15 dude, I don’t have any lovers...jilted or otherwise. Will is one of the sons of Apollo, so, like…your half brother. But, Greek. So, like you, but infinitely better and less of a douche.” “Except he can’t throw knives?” Octavian called back with a smirk, and Leo quirked a brow in amusement or something else. “He’s a healer. I’ll take someone who helps people over one who destroys any day of the week, man.” “Your powers are the very epitome of destructive,” Octavian reminded him, and Leo looked away without responding. “I’m going to land, I need to repair Festus.” Leo sighed, patting on Festus and they began to descend into the outskirts of the busy African city. “No pithy comment?” Octavian said after they landed, and Leo shot him a look. “No snark? No general idiocy your people are so fond of?” “Wow,” Leo shook his head with a laugh, “if you say, ‘your people’ again…” “You’ll what?” Octavian challenged, stepping forward to cross the distance between them. They were both slim, but Octavian was older and taller by quite a bit. He stared down at Leo. “What will you do? You’re nothing.” A small breathy noise startled Octavian, who jerked back as Leo looked down at the ground and wiped at his face. “Oh, by the gods, are you crying?” Octavian stuttered out, horrified. He was not good with crying. “I…I didn’t, I mean...I-“ Leo looked up with a grin and completely tearless eyes, “gotcha.” Octavian opened and closed his mouth, and Leo patted him on the shoulder. “Word of advice? Anything you say to me? I’ve heard it already five times over, probably from my own family. That crying schtick? A trick I learned… at roughly age 9 to trick the nice foster families into giving me shit I wanted. And, my best friend is a daughter of Aphrodite, Venus, whatever. I’ve learned from the best.” Leo shoved a finger into Octavian’s chest, ignoring their size difference completely. “I may be nothing, but guess what? We’re both nothing.” Leo looked him straight in the eyes.  “And, my guess? That bothers you a hell of a lot more than it bothers me.” Octavian said nothing as Leo stepped around him and moved to start fixing Festus. Didn’t say a word until night had fallen. But, then it was dark out, and Octavian realized he was hungry.  Leo was still working on the bronze dragon, and hadn’t stopped. The dragon, with the stupidest name he’d ever heard, watched Octavian with some suspicion. Probably well warranted by now, having threatened his owner repeatedly.

“Do you have money?” Octavian fumbled about before just hitting himself and asking. Leo paused and looked up. “Why?”

“I want to go into town and get food and provisions, if you were intelligent, you would have realized that by now, but I suppose your people aren’t-“ Leo stood up and glared him down. “See, the thing that bugs me when you say that is I have no idea if you mean Greek demigods or if you mean Mexicans. But, knowing you, it’s probably both.”

Octavian tipped his chin up to sneer down at the shorter boy. “You think me so petty? You realize I served under Reyna, do you not?” “Yes,” Leo said without a moment of thinking about it. “You tried to overthrow her too, remember?” “I’m not racist,” Octavian ignored everything Leo said. It was true, after all. “I just think-“ “Nope,” Leo shook his head. “Nope, nuh uh, not happening, shut up and don’t finish that thought process. I’ll make you food, just stop talking.” Octavian paused, and glared silently, his feathers well ruffled by now. Leo sighed in relief, before sitting down on the sands, and pulling random items out of his belt. They surely couldn’t have all fit, so it was most likely enchanted. “I’m not racist,” Octavian said after a moment, and Leo looked at him like he was above to shove a fork through his eye, or would if he was able.  “The man my mother married was a legacy of Mars, from Senegal. My half siblings are mixed race. You may think you know me, but you don’t.” “That doesn’t mean you’re not racist,” Leo said, chin in his hand, appraising Octavian. “But, I’m tired of arguing. What do you want to eat? Any food allergies? I’m curious if I can poison you.” “No,” Octavian rolled his eyes, and Leo snickered. “That,” Leo pointed. “Is the first time I’ve ever seen you act like an actual teenager.” “…I’m 18, I am an adult.” He’d waited long for the day, after all. To finally be respected as an adult, instead of a child. “No, you’re one cat away from being a movie villain.” Leo crossed his legs. “Maybe, if you were an actual teenager, you’d be less obsessed with glory and honor and all that and learn to have fun for once. 18 going on 68, more like.” “I have fun, and I want…,” Octavian nodded to himself in thought. “Yes, I’d like tacos. They’re a fun food, yes?” “Tacos? Man, you’re practically Latino now. l was so very wrong about you, Herr Octavian!” Octavian narrowed his eyes, “you realize that just means Mister or sir, right?” “I actually had no idea, I just wanted to imply you’re a Nazi.” Leo said happily. “Calm your tuts, I’ll make something good.” “It’s no surprise,” Octavian sniffed derisively, dusting away some sand from his tattered robes. “I’d imagine your education doesn’t go above elementary school.” “You’d be correct,” Leo smiled, he was visibly less amused and more visibly perturbed. “That’s what happens when you’re orphaned.” He started to mix ingredients in a bowl that Octavian was also not sure where came from. It didn’t seem like it could have been pulled from anywhere. The Greek held the bowl, with his hand lit in flames to cook it. When it was done, Leo handed over a steaming plate. It smelled good.

“I made paella. You good?” Octavian nodded, assuming he was asking if Octavian found the meal choice acceptable, and took a bite. It was very good. “It’s sad,” Octavian said after he was finished eating, and Leo looked at him tiredly as he was eating. “You Greeks, you have no support for one another.” “Remind me to spit in your food next time,” Leo looked exhausted, and put down the food he was eating. “It seems to me that the Romans are the ones who don’t give a shit the second someone starts thinking for themselves.” “You have no long term support systems for demigods,” Octavian ignored Leo, waving a finger as though he was scolding a child. “You have no businesses, no real communities that I could see. You’re a summer camp, no more, no less. What do you do for the children that have been orphaned?” “I don’t know, wasn’t at camp very long, ask Percy.” Leo looked away, thinking. “Why do you care?” “You’re, as much as I hate to admit this, a better chef than I was expecting, especially with no real cooking instruments. In New Rome, we would support these talents. Maybe, you could open a restaurant, or shop of some nature. But, what will you there, once you’re older? I noticed there were no demigods over the age of 25 that I could see. Do you all die? Pretend to be human, and live a constantly thre-“ “I don’t know!” Leo cut him off, looking quite angry. “I have no idea, okay? I wasn’t expecting to live this long.” “That’s the problem,” Octavian didn’t stop his lecture, standing up to pace. “None of you have any foresight. You’re hotheaded, idiotic, disrespectful, chaotic-” “I’m going to bed,” Leo stood up abruptly and walked around to the other side of Festus. Octavian rolled his eyes before he could catch himself. “Think about my suggestions,” Octavian called over before laying back on the warm sands himself, like he was doing Leo a favor.

“Get bit by an asp and go Cleopatra yourself, asshat.” Leo grumbled from his side, annoyance clear in his voice.

Octavian waited a moment, before speaking. “…It was actually an Egyptian Cobra, not the European Aspis. In fact, it was likely neither, but rather a respectable concoction of poisons. You should read more. It is a common, but still unacceptable mistake that uneducated individuals make. Building a library would be the first step-” Leo tossed a wrench at him, but it missed. Octavian was awoken in the early morning light by a foot prodding him in the stomach, it didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t a great way to wake up either. “You rude-“ “Save it, we need to get going. A storm is coming, and I really don’t want to get stuck with you any longer than possible.” Octavian stood up gingerly, and eyed Leo, who noticed and exhaled sharply. “What?” “I need to brush my teeth.” Leo threw him a small bottle of mouth wash and a tooth brush, and while Octavian was mildly disgusted, it was better than nothing. He’d never had a cavity before, his teeth were in his opinion, flawless. He didn’t want to ruin that now.

They set off once again, but could see clouds in the distance. They were dark reds and beige and gray, with bright flashes of gold. “Beautiful,” Octavian breathed out, as the wind began whipping. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” “Yeah, well, it shouldn’t be there,” Leo eyed the same clouds with some trepidation. He hadn’t seen any weather forecasts in town that mentioned anything like it. “Another monster?” Octavian asked, and Leo tilted his head and bit a worrying lip. “I honestly don’t know…but, something tells me it isn’t that simple.” They flew until night fall, but managed to reach Morocco. The storm they saw had vanished once they left Egypt, which made Leo all the more paranoid. He hadn’t stopped fidgeting and tapping the entire way, and it was driving Octavian up the metaphorical wall. “Do you think there are others?” Leo asked in a rare moment of openness, looking like an actual uncertain 15 year old, in a way that bothered Octavian for some reason. “Other what?” “Gods,” Leo answered. “We have…Greeks, Romans…but, are there more than us?” “Egyptians, you mean?” Octavian was easily able to piece together the source of the boys discontent and pondered the question for a moment. “It’s plausible. There are Roman gods that are not versions of Greek. Greek, that have no dual Roman forms. If there are entirely separate deities in those situations, then it is likely that there are others.” Leo looked at him seriously for once, eyes searching his face, his posture. “Doesn’t that scare you?” “No,” Octavian answered honestly. “It doesn’t. Gods are not my concern; Rome is, my people are.” Leo shook his head and looked away, “aren’t we all?” “What?” Octavian asked, confused. This Graecus was more confounding than Jackson had been, who was simply like a fly that he wished to swat. “Demigods,” Leo said, looking back at him. “Don’t we have more in common than we have different? Aren’t we all your people then? Shouldn’t we support one another? Support systems, like you said. Communities.” “I-“ Octavian wasn’t sure how to reply. In fact, he was mostly taken back by the fact Leo had evidently given his suggestions some consideration the night before. Leo seemed to realize what Octavian was thinking, “you were right, maybe not how you meant, but ...it's true. As much as I really hate you.”

Octavian was very conflicted now. “We have no way to help each other, not really, not at Camp Half Blood. A satyr either gets us to camp when we’re young, or they don’t.” Leo swallowed hard, looking off into the distance.  “Before that, we’re just…with our human families, or alone. There are probably more of us alone, than not.” “Or in foster care,” Octavian added, remembering what Leo had said the previous day. The curly haired boy looked back at him and nodded. “In foster care, or worse,” Leo said. “It isn’t fair to us, or our parents, to be so vulnerable. How many mothers, fathers, siblings, have been killed…because we’re demigods? How many kids around the world?” “I don’t know,” Octavian answered after a moment. “I don’t know. If the numbers are similar world wide, then…thousands? Hundreds of thousands, even.”

“I don’t like that,” Leo said firmly. “You can go back to New Rome, deal with your people, but like I said. You’re right. I think we should have support. Or, in another generation, once me and all my friends are long dead, we’ll get another Luke.” “Luke?” Octavian echoed, he thought he had heard the name before but wasn’t sure where. “Luke Castellan, I wasn’t around then either, but he was the one who started the Titan war.” Leo explained, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “One guy thinks the Gods don’t care, that’s fine, but when 50, 100, hundreds do…” Octavian hadn’t really experienced this before, being told he was right while being told he was wrong, feeling vindicated and chastised. “R-Rome can,” Octavian started shakily, jutting out his chin once again in a shadow of his more prideful boasts. “We can…support others. But, under our ways.” Leo sighed, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath. “That isn’t support, it’s oppression. Have you ever considered that you only think your ways are the right ways because you were born to it?”

“That sounded very Disney-esque of you,” Octavian deflected, and turned away. “I’m going to get firewood.” Leo looked at him wearily as he left. “You…don’t need to,” Leo said to himself, rolling his eyes and moving back to Festus. “I’m literally made of fire. Fucking asshole.” The next morning, they spent their time flying closer towards the Horn, until touching down outside a Senegalese market.  Octavian actually seemed rather happy for once with this particular pitstop. Like, actually happy and not sneery smirky “happy”. It was odd for Leo to witness. “You actually like your stepfather, don’t you?” Leo asked curiously, after Octavian got done speaking to a shop owner. “He’s preferable to my mother,” Octavian answered. “They’re both doctors, but his work actually matters.” “Is there a doctor who does meaningless work?” Leo asked, laughing in astonishment. “Like, what does that even mean?”

“It means she’s a psychologist,” Octavian said with a huff and crossed arms. “My stepfather is a neurosurgeon. He saves lives, she talks.” Leo stared at him like he saw something particularly disgusting on the floor of a mens bathroom, brows together and lips drawn back into a frown. “Doesn’t she, I don’t know, help people with mental health problems?” Octavian scoffed at the very concept, and Leo threw his arms up and walked away. Later, Octavian showed back up with bags full of herbs and spices and what looked like a headband. “Ladies appreciated my skill in speaking their language, and gave me gifts.” Leo rolled his eyes, and muttered something about them probably trying to get him to leave. “What are you doing?” “Trying to contact my friends,” Leo said, looking disappointingly into the fountain they had met back up at. The water gave nothing back to him. “I’ve been trying, but I haven’t been able to get through by any means. I even used a phone booth. Just static. Nothing in Alexandria, nothing in Morocco, nothing here either. “ Octavian walked over and sat next to him and looked into waters. “Let me try, I’m an augur. I have a more natural line to the Gods, than someone like yourself who spits in the face of our customs and rules.”

It didn’t work for him either. “I need a live chicken,” Octavian glared into the fountain. “And a ceremonial dagger.” “Nnnope,” Leo stood up, drying his hands off on his shirt. “No blood sacrifices, I put my foot down at blood sacrifices.” “You’re being unreasonable,” Octavian followed suit in standing, attempting to use his height as an advantage once again. “I guess that shouldn’t be surprising given your people-“Leo grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him hard into the fountain. It didn’t hurt, there was no injury or pain involves in the matter, but he was now soaking wet. So Octavian rushed up and grabbed the other boy and hauled him in with him. It was childish, but they ended up shoving and splashing and just generally making idiots of themselves until Octavian noticed Leo was laughing. That was not what Octavian had intended, he was planning on more of a near-drowning. Then, he noticed they were very close, and Leo’s palm was on his chest and his own hand was on Leo’s waist and everything froze. Octavian swallowed hard, and Leo met his eyes curiously. Big, dark brown eyes. “Hey, you boys,” someone called to them and Octavian thanked every deity he could name that he was saved before losing composure. “You need to stop,” a young woman said in English with an accent. “I’m apologize,” Octavian said back, in Wolof. She looked surprised, but smiled. “I don’t mind,” she said in her own language, “but some others here might not approve of two boys doing that together. I think young love is precious.” Octavian felt bile in his throat. He glanced over at Leo, who was brushing a curl of wet hair out of his eyes. The warm mid day light hit the water just right and reflected sunlight back onto Leo’s stomach and cheeks. His normally loose dirty off white tank top was wet and clinging and very nearly see through. The reflections of water looked like soft gold on his skin. “Oh no,” Octavian whispered, and got a weary look from his forced travel companion. He was 15, Octavian told himself. 15 and Greek. It was extremely unsightly, inappropriate, not to mention possibly illegal to harbor unfortunate emotional attachments to- “What? That stick almost fall out of your ass after having fun for 5 minutes?” Leo grinned toothily, and Octavian realized that he did in fact hate Leo Valdez. "No? What a shame."

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.