#i swear it’s not a spam link or anything lmao

[tenthdoctxr]

if any of y’all want to leave encouraging notes at the link below, that’d be great!

i also can’t view the messages until the album’s release so leave as many as you want, i guess?

[half-oz-eddie]

I do not want to do discourse but I am quite tired so feel free to scroll past this or ignore it idc

First and foremost I do not care if other positivity projects exist. They can exist in unique ways for unique reasons. It's a beautiful thing. I'm sure people love what they do and they're doing it for fun. Personally? I love what I do. A normal amount. And I do it my own way. Kinley Café is my heartbeat and it's always been a project that I deeply enjoy and that I am passionate about. I ask for nothing in return except the chance to touch other people's lives and make them smile by sending out your orders.

I am so comforted by the amount of love and support I receive. It's motivating and has helped me through difficult times. I have been so distracted spreading joy that I've basically breezed through what is usually the most difficult month of my life.

And yet. And yet!! I have been reported as spam so the café does not come up in searches (it's limited/partially shadowbanned I guess you can say. I constantly worry that this affects people getting notified when they receive treats because I want them to know someone is thinking of them. But I have been communicating with Tumblr about it, so don't worry too much). I have received phishing links in DMs and on the order form. And more recently, a password protected blog that hasn't had any activity in 40 days receives nearly a dozen notifications out of the blue because of a months old post circulating as some sort of gotcha, and I find out someone is telling people that I copied an idea (from myself btw) and sent out anons trying to encourage people to call me out over...stealing my own idea?

And I don't wanna hear "they didn't know it was me" because nobody asked me shit! I didn't show anybody any disrespect. In fact, I was being supportive! I showed love! I took the time out to make something because I wanted to continue to encourage the spread the positivity.

And yet, people made accusations even though I was being kind? Do you want a trampoline since you like fucking jumping to conclusions?

KC has been open for FIVE weeks. And I've dealt with all this in a short period of time for absolutely no reason. I've been nothing but kind and supportive of others. I genuinely and sincerely try my best.

I don't wanna let this taint something beautiful or let anything discourage me from doing this again. But I swear to god.....this shit is getting really annoying and bringing out the worst in me. lmao why am I fighting for my life during this little hiatus? I'm dedicating my free time to creating things, and collaborating with others just to spread love and kindness. I don't want anything but peace and quiet.

What's next? Do I have to keep dealing with dumbassery? Or can I go back to sending out treats and going on about my fucking business? Because I do not have time for this. I do not want all this static!!!

I've turned off reblogs. If you want to talk to me privately that's fine but this has been a little overwhelming and I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[spoiled-milk]

blush blush characters’ (kelby, volks, eli, ichiban, cashew, and cole personal headcannons (imo‼️‼️)

a/n: doing some of my personal favorites then some lemme know if y’all want more. ik this is probably done already but like i like yapping on company time 🤪 i'm so inactive i am so sorry i am not cooking

content warning: none except for mild swearing and not proof read lmao

word count: ~2.0k words

kelby

would love love LOVE it if his s/o made him laugh or laugh at his jokes (even if they’re all sports related)

since he is an athlete and all i think that he knows how to cook healthier meals, but if you cooked anything for him, he would probably eat it since it's from you as long as it isn’t like covered in grease

he loves being around you, so if you go on morning jogs or evening jogs with it would mean the world to him and he values that a lot (even if he has to carry u halfway through the jog / walk it with you)

i don't think he would be too pushy with his diet on you, respects people and their own diets but would gently push for a healthier diet such as salads and low carb foods

if i were to suggest an ideal date for him is kayaking. it's a great work-out for him and it's a great opportunity to show you all the breathtaking sights that the river y'all kayak has to offer

kelby has weekly basketball games, baseball games, and swim meets, and he understands that it is a lot, but if you attended some of them or go out of your way to support him, his insides get gooey, and he feels like he could run fifteen miles

he lives and craves for physical touch. kelby will take what you can give. hugs? great. holding hands? awesome. linking your arms in his? he's in heaven

ok, to be a lil saucy here i think kelby would think you're super mega hot when you work out. here you are running on a treadmill sweat on your face and chest and he's definitely staring at you and now he's got to go to the shower rooms and get his head out of the gutters

also think of this guy’s stamina c'mon you can’t tell me that this guy would only go one wahoo round with you yk (source: me don’t ask)

eli

if you and them are even remotely the same size clothing wise, they are going to take your clothes. no asking or nothing eli will just rummage through your closet and make a fit with a few of your borrowed clothes

one time they stretched out one of your baby tees and you were so bummed out when you found it after they wore it and now eli swears to never take another one of those shirts again

would probably date someone who can put a really good outfit so that they can steal it

would also love if someone would watch anime with them please just give ouran high school host club a chance pls pls pls pls

they probably enjoy watching shoujo or slice of life but if you wanted to watch something else, they probably would watch it with you bc they like you lots

if you watch something that you started with them and watch ahead of them? they’re heartbroken. devastated. defeated. the first and the only time you did that they were inconsolable

would take you clubbing if you were up to it but if clubs aren’t your scene, they totally respect that and won’t push you out of your comfort zone

they will also take really really REALLY good care of you if you get wasted around them and they are really good at keeping you safe

very very personal BUT ELI FUCKS WITH VOCALOID‼️‼️‼️NO ITS NOT A PHASE

if you listen to vocaloid and reveal that to him he will spam you with new songs that drop by the vocaloid producers that he likes

i am a firm believer that eli fucks so hard with giga p you can’t convince me other wise sorry i make the rules

if u don’t know what vocaloid they will make you listen to a couple of songs that he thinks pass off as normal but again if you fw vocaloid then he can start showing you some niche vocaloid songs

volks

such an acts of service man. if you played his lil date thing you would know (i need to go back n double check this by playing it again)

gives off his moody dark grumpy energy but fuck it I’ll be in the minority that believes he likes being small spoon please give him head kisses he enjoys them even though he will not tell you

i think that volks in the beginning of your relationship is uncomfortable with pda but as your relationship continues, he’s gotten used to holding your hand or giving you quick pecks in public

at home though? his hands are on you always. a hand on your leg, your legs on top of his legs, his arms wrapped around your waist. he always has one of his hands on you

if you go on hikes for either leisure or to exercise, he will join you as much as possible every single time

HAS 👏A 👏 REALLY 👏 GOOD 👏 SKIN ROUTINE. he’s a model photoshop can only do so much yk. expect to do skincare together and face masks at the end of the week

has a very early bedtime (like probably 11pm or like midnight at the latest) so when he’s getting ready for bed so are you by force

if you wake up later than him whenever he has an early photoshoot, he will always prepare you a portion of whatever he made for himself

he wants you to meet his mom once it’s confirmed that y’all are serious. you two are the two most important people in his life (and he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life who matter the way that y’all do) and he wants to make sure that his mom gives you a seal of approval (as long as you make volks happy, you win her approval dw)

he knows he’s not the most romantic person out there but makes sure that you’re taken care of. that’s how he shows that he cares. he hopes that the way that he makes your bed, organizes your work desk, and applies moisturizer to your hands after you’ve long fallen asleep is able to convey the feelings of love and adoration, he has just for you

ichiban

tries to keep your relationship a secret from his fans and it works in his video formats because duh you can edit those but when he’s live streaming? he’s cooked. tf you mean he can’t just talk about how cute you are when you nap or gush about the way that you cutely hog the blankets when y’all nap together?

he was scared that his fans would not be too happy at the idea that he was in a relationship, but most of his fans were not like that at all. most of his fans are the sweetest people

some of them even tag you in some edits of ichiban and not gonna lie you watch some of them because DAYUM your man is fine

ok, some of his fans immediately become your fans when they see you on for the first time on his stream and that ichiban was not prepared for but he also was not prepared for the edits of YOU that go around his community

his chat makes it well known that if he fucks it up with you they’re all gonna come n snatch you up because you’re such a treat

is not very good with words or actions he’s kinda like a cute boyfailure but you can’t fault him too much he’s just so stinkin cute at being clueless

does this say anywhere in his voice lines or in his phone fling? no, but i do not care. um anyways, i think ichiban has a thing for building personal computers

like everything in his PC is customized. from the computer case, the motherboard, graphics card, everything. he has so much fun building them to the point where he has like 5 fully built computers off somewhere in his house because he didn't know what to do with them. to ichiban, they're like adult legos, but if legos costed even more money

if you wanted him to build you one, he totally would. probably wouldn't even charge you because he loves building them and customizing them for you (and because he's probably loaded from being a popular streamer and whatnot). ichiban would be absolutely elated if you wanted to build a PC with you if you offered. he loves doing things with you

cole

clingy clingy man touchy touchy man

this might be a little controversial but i don't think that he would like kill anybody. injure somebody? most definitely probably. (i'm probably in the minority here but i'll die on this hill)

BUT he’s very very possessive of you. does not like it when other boys pay attention to you. he wants to be the only one to see the crinkle in your eyes when you smile, or the way the sunlight hits your eyes when you’re reading in the afternoon, or see how ethereal you are when you sleep on the couch in the evening with a movie on that highlights your face just right

has articles of your clothing. has stolen a used shirt from your house just so he can use it as a pillowcase and snuggle with it at night

he will show up at your place whenever he has free time. after work, before work, he will sleepover at your place quite frequently too if you let him. your landlord is convinced that he’s your boyfriend with how frequently he comes over

loves doing mundane chores with you. washing dishes, putting away laundry, going grocery shopping, you name it and if he can help you he will. it feels like you two are a real married couple. soulmates. it squeezes his heart just right when people see you two getting ingredients for dinner and mistake you for a couple

if you have work functions where you need to bring a plus one you better call him first, he would pounce at the opportunity to be yours, even if it’s just for one evening

he’s very good with his words. he’s so cold to others but with you he’s so sweet. he can just tell if something is off with you. he somehow just knows if you had a bad day. he’ll be there with take out, movies, whatever you need (red flag honestly, but i like wearing rose colored glasses)

if you let him embrace you pre relationship, now he expects some sugar anytime he sees you. a hug when he first sees you, a hug for when you have to leave, a hug when he “accidentally” runs into you in public, etc.

cashew

he’s inexperienced, but he’s a quick learner. you’re probably his first relationship and he would never tell you, but he’s insecure about it

loves reading to you. it’s just so intimate with the two of you pressed together under the sheets. he gets butterflies just thinking about it

tell him you love his voice. that you like hearing him. he is a little aware that some people think his voice is hot but coming from you? he’ll hold it to heart. maybe he should consider recording for audiobooks

makes a reading list for you, out of love of course. he asks you what genres you like, book length, etc. even if you don’t read, should you ever ask for his recommendations he will be ready for you

go to the library with him and read pls. it doesn’t have to be date just go with him. he goes by himself all the time please go with him. you don’t even have to read books with words you can pull up the graphic novels he won’t mind promise

i imagine cashew fucks so hard with dates where it’s just the two of you (like a picnic or a walk in the park) he has so many ideas because of all the romance books he reads, but he’s scared he’s gonna botch the execution of it

treat him nicely please, again you’re his first serious relationship so don’t break his heart too bad

[t-shrit]

Hey Followers

I don’t post on here very often anymore but I’m doing a project for my design research class in uni and have to survey the user group I chose to work with. I’m doing people who grew up in joint custody situations and how it impacted them. If you relate to any of this can you PLEASE fill out this short survey! I haven’t had much luck getting responses bc it’s a really niche topic. Thank you so much in advance and reblogs would be really helpful too :) 

https://goo.gl/forms/OqzEx9pAMNckHVWl1

[cactus-stories]

SFW Alphabet Headcanons for Mammon :D

I used this Alphabet List made by @heauxzenji, thanks for the list, it is really nice!

Mammon is one of my favourite brothers, right next to Satan, and I can't say how much I enjoy headcanons about him, I hope you guys like it!

TW: none

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

Definitely rob a bank. I mean, he has tried to, multiple times, but Lucifer has always maanged to stop him before he could do any damage. MC is complaining about not having enough money to buy something and jokingly says "we could always rob the nearest bank". He looks at them, mesmerized, blue eyes shining with expectation, until they explain it is just a joke...

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

Trembles a lot, his voice gets more squeaky and he's looking around for ways to escape. Really fast when running from people and will literally jump out of a window instead of facing Lucifer.

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Acts like he doesn't care about them, but it's painfully obvious by how flushed he gets and how much he's stuttering. Would try to spend more time with them, using all the excuses in the book instead of just being honest.

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

Honestly, a simple day with them, maybe watching a movie or playing games. Snacks next to them and a bunch of blankets and pillows lying around.

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

Apart from Goldie, I think it's lip balm. Boy's a model, he can't be caught with chapped lips. Most people don't notice it, so when MC starts giving him random lip balm flavours as gifts he treats them like the best thing ever, and make a fuss out of using it in front of them as much as he can (don't tease him tho, or he'll get a bit sad and probably stop it).

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

Apart from money, his second favourite thing is his crows. He finds them really cute, and always keeps the gifts they give him. He taught them how to swear and used to have them steal Lucifer's expensive pens before the older brother found out about it.

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

He has a really cute and high pitched laugh, and is absolutely not embarassed about it. Boy laughs at everything, can't keep a straight face to save his life, which ends up getting him in trouble with Lucifer often.

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

His hands are really warm, if he notices MC's hands are even slightly cold, he'll wrap his around them quickly, trying to help out. He loves holding hands while linking arms, keeping them as close as possible. Doesn't really do pinky promises, but that's mostly because he trusts them and doesn't need the affirmation as much.

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

All of his brothers compare him to his crows because of the amount of times he runs his hands through his hair. They joke about him preening himself and very rarely caw around him.

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

Not really, he knows the risks of cursed objects and wrongly casted spells, but there's almost always a logical explanation in some book in Satan's room, so he's okay with it.

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Lots of small pecks on their face before going for a longer kiss on their lips.

L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Definitely gives love via gifts, he can be pretty stingy with his money, so if he buys you something it's a clear sign that you mean a lot to him. Loves physical touch, run your hands through his hair or hug him from behind and he'll melt happily in your arms.

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

If he notices their compliments are genuine. Many people use him for his status, ãnd he's used to being offended and used as a punching bag, so genuine compliments are a breath of fresh air, and automatically makes you go up on his personal ranking.

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

Would absolutely use Treasure as a nickname, or Sunshine. He loves being called Pretty Boy, Good Boy, and Handsome.

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

Have you seen his room lmao?? Messy bitch and you know it, but he can always find everything he needs in his mess.

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Anyone making fun of Levi. He knows his brother is very insecure and as much as HE goofs around and makes fun of him, no one else is allowed to >:(

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

When he's stressed out and needs to take a break he plays Solitaire by himself. After MC moves in with them, he goes to their room and jumps onto their bed, watching them study or play games in silence.

R is for Rainy Day: Do they like rain? What about storms? How would they spend a rainy day?

Enjoys rain, hates thunder. Spends rainy days playing games inside, or wrapped in blankets, protecting himself from the loud noise with some loud cancelling headphones Levi lends to him.

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

Man is absurdly kind, helps anyone he notices struggling, and will hate it when it gets mentioned. Enjoys just knowing he did a good thing, and always ends up in a good mood afterwards.

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone?

Both, loves spamming people with texts if they don't answer right away. Could spend the entire day on the phone if it's with someone he likes. Alternatively, if it's someone he doesn't like, you can expect one worded messages and call being ignored constantly. He is more used to ignoring problems than confronting them.

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

Really good with Math and numbers in general. His voice is surprisingly soothing, which surprises MC, considering how much they hear him screaming. It's really easy to fall asleep hearing him speak about something.

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

Absolutely, he'd be shy about it, but at the same time would want to do something big. Baby is conflicted.

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

How easily he blushes. He could just brush his hand against MC's and is already red all the way to his chest.

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

Probably the one that gives guests the tour of the entire place, offering snacks and making lighthearted jokes.

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Playing hide and seek with his little brothers in the Celestial Realm.

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

Absolute cuddler, doesn't really talk or snore much. He sleeps naked or with underwear. Usually his dreams are about random everyday stuff, but sometimes he has nightmares about the Celestial War and hurting his loved ones because of his sin.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

y’all i cant stop thinking about this,,, i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it

so i present y’all with sum.....

✨sleepy bakugou hcs✨

- Q U I E T boy. ik ik ur like “bakugou? quiet? in the same sentence?”,, but here’s what im here to tell u,, it’s more likely then u think. mostly bc being snarky/angry all day has to be so exhAUSTING, so when bakugou crashes he crashes

-pls he’ll go from perfectly alert, sitting up ram-rod straight on the couch next to you, to slumping into the cushions with half-lidded eyes in all of 2.5 seconds

-like, he’ll ask u about ur day, right? and as soon s u answer he’ll lean back, close his eyes and just sit there and listen quietly to you speak,, little “mhm”’s and “you fuckin’ tell ‘em”’s are the only sign he’s listening (he is listening tho. bakugou almost never forgets anything u tell him,, even when he’s half asleep)

-oh my god and u cannot tell me this man doesn’t fight sleep. he does. every time. pls n he’s just fluttering his eyes, rubbing at them and trying to stay awake so he can hear you talk. and ur always like “you know, it’s okay, you can sleep. there’s always tomorrow.” n he’s just “no. finish the fuckin’ story. ‘m listenin’.”

-pls and one of the only fandom-wide bakugou hcs i whole-heartedly agree with is that he’s a cuddler. he is. 100% a physical guy at heart but only rlly allows himself to be behind closed doors (read: when it’s bedtime)

-so when he’s tired he’s very much a clinger. arms around your waist and hands slipping under your shirt. not even in like a 🥴 way, he’s not trying to start anything, bakugou just likes skin contact. probably likes how soft ur skin is against his calloused hands

-pls n he’s so blunt. i mean, he is all the time, but especially when he’s sleepy bc all the excess bite drains out of his voice. will 100% seriously just look at you and just flatly say “No.” when u tell him you’ve gotta get up

-ur like “hey, gotta brush my teeth first. then we can fall asleep.” n bakugou is like “No.” and ur like, “no, really. i feel gross.” n he’s just like “No.”

-100% will dig his face into your neck and just kinda doze. like, won’t fall fully asleep, but he’ll fade in and out and when he occasionally mumbles u can always feel it against ur skin

-probably feels like he somehow runs even ?hotter? when he’s tired. like, he always feels warmer than the average person, but when he’s sleepy man’s is literally radiating warmth

-probably doesn’t kiss you on the lips very much,, bc he’s wants to be fully awake for that and give you the effort you deserve,, but he will kiss your palm if u cradle his face. probably turns his head to the side rlly languidly, and still somehow blushes when he presses his lips to ur hand. (soft affection just flusters him, okay, especially on the rare occasion when he’s the one giving it instead of recieving)

-sleepy!bakugou is also probably the only bakugou who will let you fuss over him. like, every other time u even try he’ll bat your hands away and shrug u off, but when he’s tired he doesn’t fight it. he’ll let you ask your questions and fuss over his wounds and kiss his bruises without complaint

-pls don’t bring it up in the morning tho. it’ll embarrass him and it’ll be a very long time before he lets u fuss over him again

-and i mean, y’all have seen the gif, bakugou is big spoon. he is. almost every single time,,, but i also think he links ur hands together while doing so. so instead of an arm over ur waist,, he’ll sit it a little higher, just below ur ribs, so that when he pulls u in he can hold ur hand that’s tucked up by ur chest

-and on like, the off chance that he’s not big spoon,, mans is just laying directly on top of you. like, head on ur chest, one leg in between yours. only very occasionally tho

-pls he probably looks at you with such unguarded affection. usually he’ll try to hide it, but if everything is calm and quiet, late at night, bakugou will let it slip. his eyes are always half-lidded as he stares at you, tracking your moments intently, blinking slowly

-oo n tell me this man doesn’t talk in his sleep. he does. full sentences with swears. it’ll be like midnight and u feel his lips against ur bare shoulder, and when u listen he’s just “fuckin- i said stop. i’ll smoke you. Fuckin’ bitch.”

-probably dreams a lot. which means he twitches and flutters his eyelashes and jerks randomly between different stages of sleep

-oh my god and bc i can’t stop myself here’s a list of actions (that u do) that i just know would put bakugou right tf to sleep

1.) playing with his hair. more specifically tho,, gently brushing the hair back from around his ears and forehead

2.) massaging his arms. u cannot tell me this man’s arms aren’t sore,, i mean,, have u seen his quirk?? the recoil/strain is severe. so when he comes home from a tough mission, where he over-exerted himself like always, bakugou’s arms are literally a coiled mess of knots. but all u gotta do is start working at them and then he is an absolute puddle under your fingers

3.) braiding your hair in front of him. i cant explain this one i just kno he’s the type to sit there and watch u do it, and he just finds the methodical aspect of it so calming and almost hypnotic to watch

4.) giving him any sort of warm drink. no, literally, he’s a simple dude. all it takes is a warm drink and somewhere soft to lay n he’s ready to pass tf out

-oh my god and hear me out, if ur a pro-hero too,, and y’all are coming back from a mission at night??? pls he’d actually be so cute for once

-i’m talking very much him nearly falling asleep in the shower and then dragging you to bed with him. and he’s falling asleep, just on the verge of it, and he’ll just “did good today, dumbass. fuckin’ killed ‘em real good. looked hot.” and then he’s dead to the world. completely unconcious

—/—

haha here’s a shameless dump of fluff bc as much as i write about him being a little asshole,, bakugou is also a sweetie. sometimes. mostly when he keeps his mouth shut

also lmao,, i’ve been cleaning out my drafts/asks today,, can u guys tell?? ahahaha soz for what probably feels like an absolute spam of content but i simply cannot stop

[kingdumbass]

I try to stay clear of rpf/rps for reasons but i swear seeing the j*2 copypastas has been one of the funniest things of the week, like they're literally desperate to prove sharing a storage is the same as living together (which of course is fake and running to conclusions and not supported by any evidence at all). Im just sorry about y'all receiving spam but damn are they entertaining with the "recepits" they pull

Yeah they sent me a follow up with a link to a Mary Kate and Ashley spam Instagram with 3 followers just to show me a screenshot of a comment jensen made 3 years ago. Sooo yeah. They generally sound like 12 year old girls that don’t know how social interaction works. I don’t blame you for steering clear of rpf/rps. I don’t tend to get into that either but with cockles it’s kind of just gestures at obvious thing. I’m not making my jensen and misha dolls kiss with tongue or anything lmao

[inr-lya]

Mermaid RP Request

This plot has been in my mind since- who knows when, lmao. Probs a few weeks ago, and since i’m having trouble finding rp partners on amino, I’ve decided to extend my search here to tumblr. 

As to not waste anyone's time, I'll say it beforehand that I'll be playing Muse B in a bxg or nbxg relationship in which I'm both the girl. I've played as the guy way too often; I miss my girl now. 🥺 and, this is a lit to adv-lit rp, maybe even novella if i’m really into it, and my responses are usually around 400+ to almost a 1000 words. Highest is just a little over 2000, but again, only if I’m really into it, lmao. Feel free to ask for my writing examples.

Before I get to the plot of the rp, let me list some information/rules of mine for compability’s sake.

General; 

♡ I'm over 18, so no minors, please!

♡ I use drawn and realistic FCs if you need pics of the oc, though I don't mind what type you use. Speaking of which, I’m from amino, so I have a wiki on my girl, and if you have amino too, feel free to ask for the link! If you don’t, feel free to ask me to copy paste the info to google docs or just ask whatever you feel you need for the rp :]

  ♡ I can play more than one character, maybe 2-3 max? Depends on their roles in the RP ig.

♡ I have no triggers, but please list me yours so I can avoid them.

♡ I'm not the type to send a message if you were to suddenly disappear, but I'd do it after 2 weeks because I'm tired of my PMs getting clogged up with dead chats. If you're still interested but you need more time, just let me know. I promise I'll wait, my ass literally never reached the middle of any 1x1 rp.

♡ Ngl, I'm getting busy af these days with uni life and plans being made with friends and family. I'm not complaining. I love it, and all I'm saying is I might not be able to reply often. It depends on how invested I am and the difference of our time zones, (mine's GMT+8 btw) but I'll try to give at least a reply every few days or weekly if you're willing to be patient with me.

However, the shorter the literacy, the faster and more often I reply. If we're doing just 400+ to 600+ words, I can reply multiple times a day. Also, I prefer this level of literacy for now, but I can fluctuate to longer responses.

♡ fyi, I'm very open to rp in discord as we can create a server with different channels for ooc chat, rp, notes, etc. If you're up for it, lmk! uwu

. . .

Rules

♡ If you're considering pm-ing me, please skip the small talk like “hey, how are you?”, and just straight-up give me details that you’d like to discuss about the rp. It makes me uncomfortable, lmao.

♡ Have good grammar, punctuation and spelling. I can ignore small mistakes or typos but not constant errors. (I can overlook faulty grammar, however, if you have the creativity to make up for it)

♡ Use 3rd POV

♡ No railroading.

♡ For romance, don't make your character fall in love with mine at first sight or after a few nice gestures unless being naive is a part of their personality. I prefer slow burn. Crushes are fine but don't make your oc feel like my oc is their definite soulmate or something, lmao.

♡ Don't spam me unless I've been absent for a week. I may be busy or not in the mood to RP, but if I'm not interested in continuing, I will let you know.

♡ Any drama, romantic or carnal interactions stay within the RP, do NOT pursue anything with me besides friendship or mere acquaintances, I swear this happens way too often and it's getting stressful. Speaking of which, don't make the RP just about smut like c'mon.

. . .

Okay! Now I can finally jump into the plot! It’s pretty simple, and unfortunately, it isn't mine to claim. I wanted to rp this plot with someone, but they didn't reply to me, and I have no way of finding them again so- yeah, that's the disclaimer if you think I'm stealing your plot or something.

Muse A is a marine biologist who spends their time either studying, finding inspiration for their upcoming projects, or simply take a breather all at the beach. This is where they find peace, where all of their worries melt away and nothing else matters except the present.

Muse A's favourite leisure activity is free diving along the coral reef, underwater caves and tunnels, and pretty much any nook and cranny they can fit into. They're graduating from their specialist residency soon and is searching for ideas and incentives for their thesis along the bays and coves. To be honest, they were looking to mostly procrastinate due to the pressure of a competitive environment finally catching up to them, perhaps a burnout they were trying to get over.

Imagine how they would feel upon discovering Muse B, a creature that had been believed to be a myth, one with an upper-body resembling a human, though covered in brilliant scales and specialised fins adapted to exclusively marine life, and the lower half of a fish, stranded within the abyss of a cavity that would've been completely submerged if it weren't for the extremely low tide that had kept the curious entity from escaping.

Due to Muse A's compassionate nature, they aid Muse B to their freedom, but as soon as an opportunity was in sight, Muse B fled without another glance at their saviour, never to be seen again no matter how many times Muse A were to return to where they were last found.

A few months had passed, and Muse A had since lost hope in their search of Muse B as there was practically zero evidence nor leads to help them unless they were to look any further towards the conspiracy theorists and their claims. They are now focusing entirely on their original, more believable research, unfortunately, they had picked the wrong day to go diving.

The weather had been anything but kind, the skies had gone dark faster than anyone could've predicted, and before Muse A could process what was happening, they were caught in the middle of a raging storm, thrown left and right by the unforgiving waves of the ocean before it all went black. When the light of the sun entered their eyes once more, they found themselves within a secluded area of the island, damp, wet sand beneath them and an image of a woman above, with shining doe eyes and...what is that? Seaweed on her head?

"Hey," she gasped, relieved. The corners of her mouth curled into a smile, her lips still trembling from the thought that she was too late.

"I still haven't thanked you for the last time we met."

An unlikely, most bizarre connection formed between them since, but eventually, the reality of the situation presented itself. Will Muse A tell the world to further the scientific discovery and their career or keep it a secret to preserve Muse B's species' safety?

Alright, and that's the end of the summary! Please read them thoroughly and contact me either through PM or comments. I do not respond to likes.

I look forward to hearing from you! 💜

[harris-coopers]

Who are your best friends on tumblr and how’d you find them?!

Okay so these are in no particular order or ranking. I love all of these lovely humans and every single person whose ever said so much as Hi to me! (Random anons, ya’ll make my day). Also this got super long so I apologise!! Again i appreciate absolutely everyone I talk to!

@reinhartmendes: Shards was the very first friend I made on tumblr and to be completely honest, I almost lost it when she messaged me for the first time. Here I was thinking ‘omg I am not worthy of this’ because I saw her on my feed all the time and had always been far too nervous to say anything to her! Also she messaged me the day of the MET GALA (8th of May) and honestly that day was the day of blessing so I should have known only amazing things could come from it, and of course apart from well... THAT the other equally as amazing thing was my friendship with Shards. She’s stunningly talented at everything she does and I am super grateful to have her!

@forsythpendleton: Okay so the first time Sarah and I ever talked was because she had sent me an ask squealing over the fact that I was from Melbourne like her and that we liked all the same things. Half the message was in caps lock and thats when I knew, that were were destined to be good friends. Also one of the first things I ever said was invite her to a comic con viewing party and she didn’t run away so that was a pretty good sign. Honestly, I flood her messages with ramblings in all caps about SH on the daily and I swear sometimes she’s probably comes home to like a gazillion and one of them, she never cares though and sometimes she joins in, which makes me feel a LOT less crazy than I do. Also she super nice?? And caring?? and her photography skills?? Sprouse worthy. 

@emmalrb: So I can’t actually remember 100% which post it was but I messaged Emma because I knew she was Australian and basically just wanted to make some more friends on here and honestly you get 100 friends in one when you’re friends with Emma. We bonded over where we live and then shortly after over the fact that KJ was coming to Melbourne and we both were super stocked for it and also that we have basically almost the same job?? (working with kids/teachers). Also I went to comic con by myself this year (which was amazing, both the con and being alone) and I was messaging her updates throughout the day and honestly, she was so invested that she may as well have been there with me! ALSO She will randomly message me and tell me to have a great day?? Like go get yourself an Emma if you don’t already have one bc she’s amazing and her messages are the sweetest! Also she’s a super detective?? If I EVER need help with anything SH related she always knows the answer or can find a link (seriously you’re the best) And she’s also helped me lot with the Sprousehart timeline, along with everyone else in SSH which has literally been super helpeful!!?!. Love you lots!!

@jugheaddjones: Amber, my Brisbane buddy! Our conversation first started because she had messaged me and then straight after that, I messaged her with a gif and asked if she knew where it was from (sidenote: she did and I had been looking for that for SO long) We then realised that we were both from Brisbane (which if you know nothing about Australia, Brisbane isn’t the hottest city to visit). AND THEN  she freaked me out by joking around about if we knew each other in real life!! ( seriously my life flashed before my eyes bc LORD I would have passed out cold) anyways turns out we didn’t and that we both had a secret riverdale life (her words A+++ btw Amber) THEN  we both died over the fact that KJ was coming to Melbourne ( and then I cried a little bc I knew SH wouldn’t be) and basically I too, also spam her inbox with random Sprousehart info or moments. Also we both almost died on may 31st (Met Gala selfie anyone??) so if that didn’t bond us idk what would. Anyways, Amber your an A+ human being and an even better friend ily. 

@itsnotoktohit: I first spoke to Shirin about a gifset I had made, where one of the gifs was broken and I messaged a few people to see if they could delete the broken set while I fixed it. Anyways, long story short, we ended up talking for a really long time about absolute nonsense (honestly a lot of our convos, except for SH related ones bc #facts) Shirin is literally one of the best motivators ever, she is constantly happy and appreciative of literally everything. Half the time I complain to her about things and just basically spurt a whole bunch of 1st world problems stories out and she never cares?? Also she nicknamed me google in the group chat and even tho I don’t think I deserve it, it was still a pretty great confidence booster honestly. Also her love and enthusiasm for SH and all things RD is absolutely amazing and I will cherish it and her forever. 

@bugheadlover101: Peyton, Peyton, Peyton, where do I even start? So the first contact we ever had was of her sending me a post about Cole wearing Lili’s sweater and honestly?? That’s the way to my heart fam. We’ve basically been messaging about RD and SH ever since. She’s somewhat new to the fandom but honestly that’s never stopped her. She’s fits in absolutely perfectly!! We had bonded quite quickly over our love of Sprousehart and it went from there! Peyton is always willing to dig up any old/new sh info to share even just really randomly it’ll pop up in your inbox and you’re just like ‘I came out here to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now’ bc it hits you in the feels and takes you a while to recover. I love her to bits, please never change.

@betty-cooper: Okay so Katie! The first proper interaction I remember having with Katie was actually a tumblr post. I had posted something along the lines of ‘Cole Sprouse, the one person physically unable to look unattractive’ and then Katie (of course) replied or reblogged it and said ‘I present to you Lili Reinhart’. I then amended my post bc ya’ll a girl can’t argue with that truth. The next interaction we had was actually me asking her for a link to the bughead discord. I saw her on my dash all the time and she seemed super lovely and nice so I figured she’d be a good person to approach about it (she was!!) She then helped me with sorting all of that craziness out (turns out I suck at firguring that site out lmao) and basically she’s just been a positive light that guides me ever since. If you didn’t already know, Katie is one of the most considerate, caring and generous people on the planet. She is always willing to help me with a photoshop question or answer ( hello?? GIF QUEEN right here). Also her writing is amazing too?? What can’t she do?? ANSWER: Nothing, she is perfect. Also we bonded over the fact that Lili in Law and Order is absolute golden acting and all the other movies of hers that are less well known. Also Katie, I quite possibly the nicest human being you will ever meet. She is always positive and happy and I really appreciate that. She always pops into my inbox when I least expect it and honestly that’s amazing because she always ends up reaching out before I even realise I need someone to talk to. Katie, you’re fantastic and an absolute gem of a person, ily.

@ccshbh: Nina! First off the first interaction I ever had with Nina was based off a comment that she had left on one of my fanfics. And honestly at that time I about died bc Nina is pure royalty in this fandom and I was pretty stunned that she had liked something of mine (nevermind when she followed me. I nearly passed out that day) The next few interactions were me asking if she knew of something or could help me with finding a fic (sidenote: It was the fic where Cole tries to sneak out of Lili and Madelaine’s shared apartment, which is by far one of the best fics to grace the planet also that fic is pure canon don’t @me) Also literally allll of her fics are amazing and you should definitely read them.  Also her “Idiot...oh, but my idiot” tag on a gifset I made, basically made my day and stemmed a whole other gifset too. Also she is literally the most inclusive person in the entire world and my tumblr life got like 1000x better when you added me to the group chat! Bc I felt like I had friends on here!! Nina is basically a walking bible when it comes to anything and she always knows what she’s talking about! She’s also a super caring friend and is constantly checking in with me when I get bad anons or whatever and I really appreciate it!! She’s super lovely and really approachable and and just an all round great person!! Thanks for everything lovely!!

[raviposting]

I was tagged by the awesome @nerdygingerandproud lowkey I’ve done this like 5 times but I love spilling info about my self lmaoooo 

Time Right Now: 11:05 PM 

Nicknames: Jam, Jammers, Jane. 

Gender: Female 

Star Sign: Capricorn 

Height: 5′3 I’m avERAGE HEIGHT 

Birthday: December 27!! 14 more days till I turn 21 :’) 

Favorite Solo Artists: Mmm I always lowkey hate these because I’m not into music the same way mostly everyone is I just casually appreciate everything lol. I do really love Bruno Mars doe 

Favorite Bands/groups: Mm Maroon 5 has always been a part of my life as has One Republic. I’m also getting back into BTS again. 

Song Stuck In My Head: That song that’s like, DOCTOR DOCTOR, GIMME A CLUE, I’VE GOT A BAD CASE OF LOVING YOUUUU 

Last Show Watched: Black-ish!!

When Did I Create My Blog: In about 2011 of March I have a specific date somewhere but I’m too lazy to check my archive just know I’ve been on this god forsaken site for 6 years. 

What Do I Post: lmao all the characters I think know are bi and whatever show I’m currently spamming atm (although finally this year I started using my queue so...there’s that) 

Last Thing I Googled: the weather where I live 

Do You Have Other Blogs: why yes I do! I have: 

@representativecharacters - looking at rep on all types of content, and ranging from all types of rep! You can submit any characters or request them, and links can be found on the blog bc I’m really lazy rn. 

@polyamoryinfandoms - why have love triangles when you can have polyamory? 

@femalevillains - honestly I haven’t even done anything there yet; @marcomardon has done the work so like lolol I swear I’ll queue something on there eventually. 

@southasianrep - IT’S UH NOT READY YET WHOOPS it’s gonna be the same thing as #2 & 3 doe except...for south asian characters. I’ll get it up and running after finals I s w e a r 

Do You Get Asks: Yes but I always love getting more! I swear I always reblog ask games and no one asks me anything unless @themadnerdwithahat or @eliotswaugh are online in which case I get a crapton of asks and y’all...ask me stuff. I love asks. 

Why Did You Choose Your URL: I was ready to change from the-bastard-jon-snow but sansasnarks is still not available so starklinqs was the next best thing because I love my kids a lot lol 

Following: 374. I used to follow like...2k people but that was a Mistake and I started cleaning out my blog followings like 2 years ago lolol esp bc I realized I was following a lot of annoying fandom people and aphobes/biphobes 

Followers: 5,700 

Favorite Colors: Royal purple and forest green :) 

Lucky Number: 27 because of my birthday lolol 

Habits: I just randomly make noises at times lolol it weirds my roommate out but she’s more used to it now. 

Instruments: I used to play piano for a semester and I was actually good at it!!! But then I stopped playing piano. So. Yeah. I also played violin for like 4 years but I sucked at it bc my first school had us playing out of elementary school practice books and then my next school had us playing Mozart for fun. 

What Am I Wearing: A purple, “The Purple Project’ t-shirt, and black leggings that I should change out of. 

How Many Blankets I Sleep With: 1 blanket!

Dream Job: idk can I just watch tv all day cool cool 

Dream Trip: I would love to go to London! 

Favorite food: American food: Well done/medium well steak, lobster with garlic sauce, with some moscato...I know. I’m secretly a rich white man lmao

Indian food: garlic naan with some chicken tikka and/or paneer and some mango lassi. 

Where do you live? Long Island 

Favourite Song Right Now: Mmm...Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko 

Other social medias:  The usual - FB/Snapchat/Insta but I generally am on Tumblr lol

I’ve done this a lot so I’m not gonna tag anyone but if anyone wants to do it please tag me! :) 

[serenavonromvesen]

Did your caption get deleted from my blog?

When I have a computer I will give this post it's own section on my tumblr.

I haven't been on tumblr for a year or two and when I came back on I have joined a different community and lost my old blog. This new community seems to have this extremely weird fixation with having the caption underneath a photo to remain through all reblogs. This was not a thing the last I was on tumblr.

I would like to state first and foremost that only two people have contacted me being upset about this. EACH of those two people made NO effort to ask the caption be returned, made NO effort to ask why, and made NO allowance for me to respond back before blocking me. THIS IS NO WAY TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!?

Not only did I learn this action from tumblr, but in my opinion, I hold legitimate reason for doing so. That of which I may explain later, if I decide these psychos deserve an explanation.

Seriously, what the actual fuck? Why the actual fuck is this a fucking issue? Like what? People have blacklists for this shit are you SERIOUS lmfao? Whaaaaat!? I honestly think its kind of funny but I'm also really fucking annoyed lmfao.

I didn't even know this was apparently wrong lmfao? Everyone wants to attack you rather than ask or explain lmfao. Psychopaths!

*I also believe in anarchy, so any form of trying to penalize me for this rather than just ASKING me to do what you needed is going to make me intentionally not do it that much more, so please keep in mind that its your own rudeness preventing things like this from being resolved. Ask nicely and I just may*

Moving forward, though. So there is this LOVELY thing on tumblr called a "source." The source option on a photo allows you to link your tumblr blog to the photo in a way where your URL becomes a clickable link underneath the photo, as well as the photo itself also becomes a clickable link back to your own tumblr. This feature was designed so that in the event a caption is removed, your credit of the photo will always remain. There is also a second option, more reliable, as a source can be changed. That would be to watermark your photo. Watermarking your photo means editing it so that the URL of your profile is listed on the photo itself, in the event that the photo is reposted, source is changed, etc. These two options alone should be enough in most cases to have your photo credited. That being said, this is still the internet, you post your personal photos you will always risk them being stolen, unfortunately.

Contrary to that, I DO understand that in some cases a photo may need multiple forms of credit, or a caption necessary to further explain a photo, etc etc. There are times where a caption may feel kind of necessary.

That being said, I DONT feel it necessary to leave captions such as "i love this wig," "got weed?," "Come smoke with me," "this is cute," etc. etc. etc. At no point is any of that necessary to credit your photo, in which case it isnt necessary for me to reblog that with it.

Which brings me back to, why the actual fuck is that so damn important to some people? Like man, talk about letting little things bother you.... I am beside myself that people get that worked up about it. Sorrynotsorry I didn't care what you personally thought of the damn picture? I do leave credit for photos necessary as well as couldn't give a shit less if someone deleted one of my captions. Lol. I don't even watermark my photos. I honestly don't care. Someone deleting the caption on my photo would be the most meaningless thing that could ever happen to me.

Another thing I am confused about: I have only ever experienced this in the tumblr-stoner community? The one fucking group of people thats supposed to be chill as fuck? Like what? Y'all angry as hell lol take a fuckin dab or meditate or something cuz y'all need to chill the fuck out. I'll tell ya the real-life-stoner community is a wholllllle lot more laid back than the tumblr-stoner community. I really dont get it. Yall just chill. Its not that big of a deal I swear.

Mind you, I am a professional photographer with almost a decade of experience. I DO understand crediting photos. Truly, in so many ways, I do. However, I don't get why its so important that everyone knows you thought that tree looks cool. Especially with how many other reblogs have the caption. And one not bothers the hell out of y'all? I literally have 40 followers and I've used this account for like two months lmfao relax. You arent missing anything. I get stoked when someone reblogs a post from me. Like me deleting it has no affect aint nobody even finna see it lmao. Because my ONLY assumption is that you are super desperate for followers and likes [popularity] so that you must be super extra sure that everyone knows you posted that photo? Literally my only guess. Why else could it bother someone SO much?

Okay I GUESS. so why do I delete captions? Literally because I run a themed quality blog and it deminishes the quality of your overall blog to have text posts. I really dont wanna give away everything I do to make my blog look pretty but that and strictly high resolution photos. Its like my two biggest things in running my blog. I cant even begin to say how much sometimes I REALLY wanted to reblog a photo and didnt because it just wasn't sharp enough. It is what it is for me. Sometimes I cant even do what Id like just to uphold it. If you find that untrue look at my blog. To the very beginning. No text posts anywhere (well, rarely), but every source remains. I have EVEN gone out of my way to find original posters when I see someone has stolen their photo, so I can reblog from the original post. I cant tell y'all how many blogs I follow that repost y'alls photos. And yet I get attacked for deleting "look how pretty the shatter is" when theres a blog who didnt just delete your caption, but took away your source AND put their own caption. Lol. To be honest its such olllllllddd news to delete text posts and its sad I even have to explain this to the new generation of babyboomers on tumblr.

Stop ruining tumblr and being hateful.

This whole website is supposed to be a loving home for the land of misfit toys. Not have blacklists where you spam people with hate and blocks over the most petty bullshit? Especially when you never asked to resolve the issue in the first place and only attacked the person. That makes YOU the asshole, not me.

ANYWAY, so how can we resolve this? Well, if you, for some reason, need a caption returned that you feel had credit to it, message me without blocking me immediately after, so I can know which photo. It literally would take me a few seconds to remove the old photo and reblog it again. All you had to do was ask!

[swrx-rant]

FORUMS!

THEY ALMOST ALWAYS SUCK, AND THAT HAS LESS TO DO WITH THE USERS THAN THE FUCKING DEVS AND MODS.

SEARCH FUCKING SUCKS - I mean way worse than web-search in general. If you are looking for a specific topic, GOOD FUCKING LUCK. Your best bet is to use a suck-ass web-crawler/search like Google if you want to find anything on a god damned forum.

Searches NEVER USE CONTEXT... if I’m on the page for WINDOWS FUCKING 7, then why are results for versions XP, Vista, 8, and 10 appearing HIGHER in the list?

Searches rarely implement TAGS well, especially the ability to CROSS-REFERENCE TAGS. So, if I search the tags #Tomato #Soup #Recipe, I would actually get ALL AND ONLY recipe results for soups that use tomato, NOT EVERY FUCKING RECIPE ON YOU SITE PLUS EVERY PAGE THAT DISCUSSES SOUPS OR TOMATOES RETURNED IN RANDOM ORDER THAT PLACES THE FIRST RELEVANT MATCH SOMEWHERE ON PAGE FOURTEEN OF FIFTY-THOUSAND!

NAVIGATION FUCKING SUCKS - and this makes the shit-sucking search process all the more painful. Less than 1% of forums are designed with LOGICAL SUB-CATEGORY LEVEL AND RECURSIVE SUB-FORUMS that are applicable to the purpose/theme of the forum. If, for example, you are Microshit and you create a user forum (especially to build free crowd-based help as so many companies are doing rather than staffing call centers with trained and experienced individuals who are competent in the technologies they are assisting with as well as the language the customers are speaking...), then you are EXPECTED to create a Super-Forum and split it first by PRODUCT FAMILY, then split the products into Sub-Forums by PRODUCT MAJOR-VERSION (not fucking build number, jackasses! The same goes for fucking Patch Notes), and then, if you aren’t a total douche you will create an ALTERNATE DIMENSION OF SUBDIVISION, this time by ELEMENT or MAJOR FEATURES - which unless you are a fargin-idgit MUST INCLUDE: “INTERFACE/USER-EXPERIENCE”, “BUGS” (and this one subdivides by the NATURE OF THE BUG AS PERCEIVED BY USERS... these bugs are DISEASES, and like diseases they should be NAMED and CATEGORIZED by SYMPTOMS, but you can skip the Latin names like Mnemitis for an Inflammation of the Memory... which is a fair description of a MEMORY LEAK.), “PERFORMANCE”, “INSTALLATION/ACTIVATION/UPDATES”, “PRIMARY-FUNCTION”, and individually listed USEFUL FEATURES with the ability to add subtopics as necessary ad infinitum. (don’t take that to mean spam us with infinite numbers of adverts)

If you’re not already familiar, check out PHP.NET’s online function reference, its like a hybrid between an authoritarian-wiki and an open forum. Each entry is RELEVANT and EASY TO LOCATE, it has ESSENTIAL INFORMATION and CONCISE EXAMPLES, and allows anyone to give direct USER FEEDBACK//NOTES - I cannot stress the importance of this last part enough, LET PEOPLE TELL YOU WHAT THE FUCK THEY THINK ABOUT EACH FEATURE/ISSUE. You don’t have to automatically make them publicly visible, but you are dipshits if you ignore the extremely valuable resource/insight into your customer-base. Too damned many companies make it unbearably difficult for users to give them FEEDBACK, then they bitch when people switch to a smarter product from a company that actually gives a shit. (hey, that’s not a bad slogan... “we actually give a shit”... the word actually serves to chide the competition here... ;p Along the same vein as, “unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English Accent.”)

THE MODERATORS FUCKING SUCK - I’m sorry, but you guys do. I understand that you’re mainly trying to keep an amorphous blob of bile and twigs from deteriorating into complete crap... but you are FAILING, and its not your fault... the game was rigged from the start, because they were SHIT from the moment they first went online. You guys suck at your jobs because the JOB SUCKS and that’s because the fucking RULES SUCK. Whomever the fuck came up with this shit needs to have a cheese grater ran along their eyelids for an hour each morning.

THE RULES FUCKING SUCK - so of course they turn the mods into assholes and other posters into fuckwads. There are so many issues here, but I will try to focus on the biggest tossers of all the ideas that went into these digital colostomy sacks:

NO NECROS - first of all, if you can bring the dead back to life you deserve a fucking medal, not to be given shit by peers and admins alike, and it’s not like I’m advocating Necro-Larry for President.. though he really wouldn’t be any more scandalous then what we’ve already had. But, more to the point, DO YOU ASSHOLES UNDERSTAND WHAT THE INTERNET FUCKING IS??? (and I’m not being existential here, we’ll leave the philosophical impacts for the future to reflect on). THERE IS NO PAST, THE INTERNET EXISTS IN THE ETERNAL NOW WE CALL THE PRESENT. That means NO MATTER HOW OLD THE POST IS, PEOPLE WILL STUMBLE ACROSS IT IN THE FUTURE. And it will be JUST AS RELEVANT THEN AS IT WAS WHEN CREATED! Especially since BUGS DON’T STAY DEAD, so why should decriers of old problems be told to shut the fuck up? That’s like saying, “Homelessness? We talked about that once in 1932, stop bringing it up already! It’s a dead issue!” (this is the kind of shit you get from people who want to IGNORE PROBLEMS instead of addressing them - FUCK THOSE PEOPLE, THE GENE POOL IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM!) [wow, if you just read the bold that’s really dark... lol. I’m starting to sound like an industrialist.]

LOCKING THREADS - fucking stupid to begin with, especially in response to necromancy, but lets not forget their monumentally fucktarded cousin, the Self-Locking Thread - what kind of cold war cloak and dagger fantasizing bullshit is this? This thread will self-destruct in 5 seconds! I don’t care if its been 10 years, if the problem ain’t been fixed, then SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO WORK, don’t cry about someone posting relevant information just because you’ve given up hope of ever fixing it... or assumed no one has noticed.

YOU MUST BE LOGGED IN TO POST - that’s kinda like saying you must suck my ass to breathe... it was a shitty idea when some fuckwad dreamed up that god awful movie, and it ain’t gettin any better. Now, I’m not suggesting anons should be treated the same, but ANYONE should be allowed to post FEEDBACK or SUGGESTIONS whether or not they have an account with your fucktarded forum. Google-Tourists have the right to be heard too! If I find your thread by accident (which lets face it, any result in a Google Search is pretty much an accident), and have something to contribute, I should be able to do so without jumping through 60 billion hoops. I don’t want to be a member, but when a Medical Doctor overhears someone giving Awful Medical Advice or finds someone that ISN’T GETTING THE HELP THEY NEED/ASKED FOR, it is their responsibility to become involved! The same goes for any other profession, I may not be “one of you”, but I know what the fuck I’m talking about so listen the fuck up and be grateful I give a shit (unlike many of you). [wow, that came across conceited... lmao]

REVERSE PAGE ORDER - you lazy, half-assed mother fucking programmers! Shame on you. It might seem like a good idea at the time, but this is one of the biggest blunders you can expound on the web. YOUR FUCKING PAGES MOVE, ¡CAVRONE! Do you understand this??? If a user BOOKMARKS A PAGE, they WON’T GET THE SAME PAGE when they reopen it a year later!!! What does it matter? Go back up and reread the bit about the web being TIMELESS... [take a Physics Lesson while you are at it, this is like asking what was before the Universe... there was no time (as we know it) before the universe, therefor there was nothing before it.] So, when I find your forum in a Floogol search and it links me to page 6 when the actual content it matched is now on page 147, I am understandably PISSED THE FUCK OFF... and the first thing I do is curse Larry and Serge, then I realize this one isn’t even their fault.

I’m sure there are a bunch more rules that are written by simpletons for assholes, but that’s enough for now.

TROLLS FUCKING SUCK - even when they not trying to be assholes, they fail miserably at common decency. I swear I am going to kill the next motherfucker who posts “why would you want to ____” as a reply, especially on a Tech Support Forum. It doesn’t even matter whether its my post, or something I stumbled across after 6 hours of screaming at Serge and Larry’s even less than unhelpful online information location apparatus.

MVPs are Worse than Trolls - how the fuck did these dickshits get the job of officially representing the company? They know less than shit about the product they are supporting, and most of the time they suggest installing questionable third party crapware to solve the problem. (Please don’t confuse “the Microsoft MVPs”, who are actually pretty cool and helpful, with the dumbasses that Microsoft calls MVPs on their fucking support forums... these guys barely speak English and haven’t written a line of code in their life!)

And despite an extra row of Microsoft bashing, this wasn’t targeted at their forums any more than Blizzards or any others... ALL FORUMS ARE SHIT!!!! 

But, hey, you knew all this already... so who the fuck am I even talking to here?