#i swear i take this blog seriously
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"... Ratbat where the fuck-"
#muse: soundwave#just woke up so obligatory crack is required lmfao#i swear i take this blog seriously#anyway smol open if you want to respond to this giant ass robot boy trying to find one of his casseticons
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on some level I understand that welcome to hell is probably a little harder to sell than hazbin given the *gestures vaguely* entire main plotline of w2h THAT SAID im going to be mad about it forever. because one of them is actually funny and has good character design and compelling dynamics and a good plot and its not the one about the freaking hotel.
#literally hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby like nothing vivziepop ever writes will be as good as your first demonic possession#everyone who knows me irl is going to look away now because I need to be really mean about hazbin for a second#and I feel bad doing that because I know my wonderful friends like it. but its my god given right to be a hater on my Tumblr blog.#LIKE ive seen some of hazbin and helluva. theyre mid theyre so mid.#the plots are not compelling the characters have no intriguing chemistry#theyre throwing so much at you both character and storyline wise and its impossible to keep track of anything. theres no time to care about#anyone or any of their stories!!!#and they both rely so much on swear words/sex jokes for their writing and like. its just too much it stops being funny.#anyone who knows me knows I love a good swear or a good sex joke but dude theyre just so constant that they dont work#and it also cheapens the parts that actually try to get serious you know? the tonal whiplash just makes it hard to take anything seriously#like I honestly think if they took hazbin a little more seriously it could actually be good. like I get the oooo swears for adults aspect#but truly if they just bothered to write a good plot instead of forcing a million fuck jokes into it then it could work. but they didn't.#sad!!!!#okay im nice now. when my beautiful friends bring up hazbin I will bite my tongue and not even say anything a little mean#even though its bad and sucks. I will focus on the parts of it that could have worked. so that I can engage with their interests kindly#because all their other interests rule so hard. its just hazbin that I can't stand.
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use my nose as a dick sometimes btw just thought id let u guys know 😋😋
#NOT ACTUALLY#I SWEAR PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY#or do idc#regretevator#regretevator oc#oc ask blog#:3#bazinga
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GUYS MY CAT TURNED INTO A BIBLICALLY ACCURATE CATNAP !!!!!!!
Agreed to the haircut,immediate regret,I laughed so hard it's unreal...
I don't think she likes it...
At first I was like "oh Sunday REMINDS me of catnap"
NOW ITS "Sunday LOOKS like catnap."
My poor fluffy babyyy...
Spot the difference (IMPOSSIBLE !!!)
#multifandom account#multifandom#multi fandom blog#multifandom blog#gacha oc#askblogs#poppy playtime#PP#ppt 3#ppt#catnap#cats of tumblr#cat haircut#BIBLICALLY ACCURATE CATNAP !! GENDERBEND ASWELL !!#shes gonna hate me for this i swear...#i meannnn...#they're both equally my cat children so no difference 🤷🏽♀️#If i play poppy playtime chapter 3 I'm not taking catnap seriously#like hes my son#what do you mean I have to finish him off#Thats MY CHILD we're talking about >:(
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ranger with face 2C… yes…… (for some reason trying to send this via your blog results in the bad request error)
Tfw you KNOW there's another shambler in the level, you can HEAR it shambling around, but you can't find it.
#lines i did#ask game#im a very serious person taking this very seriously i swear#also the response to rounding a corner and hearing 'AWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOOO'#idk why my blog wouldnt let u send an ask#i dont think i have anyone blocked other than bots#glad u were able to get it in eventually though!
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HOW THE ACTUAL F*** DOES THIS SITE WORK?!?
I swear, ever since I’ve gotten on here, I have poured hours into art, into fiction, into deep, thoughtful posts, and I’ve been lucky if I get ten responses!
But if I make an observation or a comment or even a bloody joke that can possibly be taken as ‘wrong’ or ‘misrepresentative’ or ‘hurtful’ then somehow, without a single reblog, I suddenly have people coming out of nowhere and jumping all over me!
WHY ARE YOU HERE NOW?
Why were you not here when I was writing fiction about your favorite character/ship/trope? Why were you not here when I was having an in depth back and forth character analysis with another fan about the very thing you love?
I’ve written ESSAYS on how wonderful Edith is, but the second I point out that she screwed up at the breakfast table in S6 and that Mary can’t read minds, suddenly people who have never said ‘boo’ to me are all how dare you side with MARY you awful Edith hater!!!!
God alone knows how many Thomas/Richard fics* and posts stating ‘Yeah, multishipper here’ and ‘dude, guys, ship and let ship!’ I’ve made, but I make a couple sarcastic comments about the members of the Thomas/Richard ship that I’ve personally dealt with** and a commuting joke, and suddenly I’m being told off for being nasty and snide and not respecting other people’s ships.
LOOK, I’M SORRY, BUT THE BEHAVIOR OF ***MOST*** OF THE THOMAS/RICHARD SHIPPERS ***I’VE PERSONALLY DEALT WITH*** HAS BEEN STRAIGHT UP NASTY AND HAS MADE ME QUESTION IF I EVER WANTED TO RISK WRITING THE PAIR AGAIN, LEAST I HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM*** - MEANWHILE I’VE NOT HAD A SINGLE BAD INTERACTION WITH THE THOMAS/GUY CREW!
I get that I have not dealt with every single Thomas/Richard OTPer out there. I won’t pretend I have! The Thomas/Richard OTPers I do get along with I absolute adore and if they left, I would straight up cry. Seeing a post from one of them makes my bloody day!****
I get that there are people out there who have had the exact opposite experience, but this is mine, okay? If you have Thomas/Guy fans being nasty to you, you have every right to complain about that on your blog, in your private Discord servers, in your knitting groups, wherever! That’s why they’re there!
Hell, we might not even know the same people at all! Not a single one!
The point is, you don’t know me. You’ve never paid attention to me before when I was doing things that you’d approve of and maybe even enjoy. You don’t have the background info to begin to know how to take what I’m saying.
SO HOW DID YOU SUDDENLY FIND ME AND WHY ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION NOW?
*okay, God and anyone who bothered to count, which isn’t me.
**I mean, I suppose it would be good of me to put a note in my blog header warning people that I’m naturally sarcastic and not to take it seriously but....oh. Wait. I did that.
*** So far the answer has been ‘yes, I do’, and believe it or not, I’ve even started a couple, but those are WIPs and it could still change.
**** Especially the one I’ve not heard from in MONTHS who just posted and OMG YES GONNA GO READ NOW WHOOOOOOOOOOO!
#downton abbey#downton abbey fandom#seriously what?#why?#every single time i swear!#also monster high#and phantom of the opera#but that's been awhile#and on another blog#oddly i have gained one follower who i really love and respect so i'll take that#seriously though#this is why i stay on the fringes of the fandom#and talk to maybe a dozen people#edith crawley#mary crawley#thomas barrow#richard ellis#guy dexter#is this getting your attention?
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if i dont wake up with 8 million likes you guys are betraying, backstabbing, deceiving fat bitches
#joking#i swear im funny#pls dont take this seriously#3d blog#3d buddy#if this flops i never posted it#love me#hi guys
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Seraching for Cre4m heritage posts is a full time job and I'm not even getting paid
#I take this v seriously I swear#I even had to go to weirdo's blogs to look for content#once I'm finished with them I just feel exhausted man#like Mr Shadow... pull the trigger#I've seen things no human should see
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I blocked the guy so he won't be visible in the replies but I did still respond, but uh. This is what he was saying ajdkanfnw
"Welcome to society boy" I think I'm gonna have a stroke.
Being transmasc means you will hear people say shit to you with their whole chest that, if they said to a cis woman, would get them on a block list of raging misogynists instantly also you are also on that block list for bringing this up.
#a stroke on my COCK which I have EQUIPPED#this is guy was openly saying he was trolling on his blog so like take it with a grain of salt#which. to be fair. the excessive use of the r slur and also. welcome to society boy. I wasn't gonna take him seriously anyways#this is like a 15 year old 4chaner I swear
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when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND
IM GETTING OLDDDDDD CRIES IN MINION
#Will Mizora take me in???? pls I need immortality ASAP#ILL MAKE LESS TROUBLE THAN VHAAL I SWEAR#which granted doesn't mean much but-#˚₊𓆩༺🕷༻𓆪₊˚ ooc — lenny.#Gnaw on u#But seriously ily#U and all of your blogs will never be free of me thank u so much for sending me this message#🤭❤️ you're a peach
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my brother has made so many random weird ass comments while weve been in calls playing wow but i just keep thinking about when i was doing some stuff on my horde main and he saw that i was playing horde and he was like 'dude, horde sucks when it comes to pvp, you should finish what youre doing and just stop playing horde forever' and said it completely seriously and i was just ????
theres so many things to unpack in that statement but most importantly: after all of this time why does this man still think i care even a single little bit about pvp or dungeons holy fuck
#my post#he seriously just thinks that the only way to play the game is the way that *he* plays it and no other way is valid#meanwhile ive played many many hours of the game and ive never done pvp and i almost never do dungeons or raids#and when i do i just do them solo on my max level characters for the trading post or for mounts and pets#also im just remembering him saying the draenei are useless and 'who even makes female tauren lmao' (i dont think he realizes i have one)#the most broke opinions one could have about this game i swear he has all of them#he also always keeps trying to make me change EVERYTHING about how i play in every single aspect too#he hates how my action bars are set up. he hates the specializations that i pick. he always tells me to turn on war mode for a 10% xp boost#even though war mode turns on pvp#he always tells me i need to change my entire talent tree and literally does not shut the fuck up about that specific one#and he doesnt say 'maybe you should-' he says 'you need to'. like hes not suggesting any of this to me. hes TELLING me i need to do it all#he does not take hints and he also does not take no for an answer and its like. bro shut the fuck uppp oh my gosh#the way that he plays this game just isnt fucking fun for me!! im not sorry!!#ignore me#tagging for blog purposes ->#world of warcraft#hes also always saying the specialization thing about 'this one is best for this expansion' and the talent tree as 'just go pick a pre-made#like. i like the talent tree that *i* made thanks. and i like my specializations dude idgasf about whats best. i just do what i like
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One More? Please? - G.S.
Synopsis. A kiss always solves everything! But when a kiss turns into something more…well, it’s only a desperate attempt to unseal yourselves from this damned prison realm, right? Right?
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected, coworkers to lovers, being stuck in that damn box, oral (female), mutual másturbation, spitting, fáce-sítting, máting press, Satoru is down bad for you, chóking, overstim, multiple rounds, créampie, pet names (sweetheart), swearing.
Word count. 4.4k
A/N. Happy belated two months to this blog! Concept inspired by this post by @kingkonoha.
“Maybe we should kiss and see if the box opens?”
“That’s the dumbest fucking thing to ever come out of your mouth.”
“Hey- it works in the movies! True love’s kiss and all-”
You heave out a heavy sigh that makes even the skeleton at your shoulder shake its head in pity. Goddamn, if these curses weren’t going to kill him then you will.
“I take it back. That’s the dumbest fucking thing to ever come out of your mouth.”
Satoru hooks a thumb over his blindfold to gaze at you with mock seriousness. Oh, how the mighty have fallen - and how you were teetering dangerously close to a stroke with each dramatic bat of his long lashes.
“C’monnn~” he whines, with the flair of someone that was not sealed in an inescapable prison, “Don’t tell me that in all these years you’ve never once been at least a little tempted to kiss me, sweetheart.”
“I’d rather kiss that dusty skull.” Shooting him a pointed look that makes even the skulls at your feet recoil. It would almost be hilarious if it wasn’t for the fact that you were trapped. In the prison realm. With Gojo Satoru of all people. Possibly forever.
Shit, is this karma for all those times you ditched Satoru with Nanami instead of dealing with him yourself?
Now, Satoru might be going about it with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but just a few minutes ago when his life flashed before his very eyes at the mere sight of Suguru - or at least, the monster wearing his body - he’d expected some of his favorite memories to be the ones with you in it.
You - his lil’ coworker - in all your gorgeous, smart-mouthed glory. And maybe if he was lucky, he even expected a couple glimpses of you in his future. Preferably with a giant rock on your finger.
But that’s a story for another time, what he certainly did not expect was for your stupidly heroic (and quite beautiful) ass to jump right in the middle of the prison realm’s ensnarement.
Although, honestly, right now he doesn’t think he’d want to be locked up in here with anyone but you - and that withering glare you send him.
Undeterred, Satoru has the audacity to throw his head back and laugh. Laugh. A sound you’ve come to realize over the years, as innocent as it sounds, does not bode well for you or your sanity.
A sanity that’s been slowly dwindling since your first day of meeting Satoru. Back then, a brash, cocky new teacher that waltzed into the halls of Jujutsu Tech in those pretentious sunglasses like he owned the place.
Well, not that he was any different right now. Lounging over some disgruntled skeletons, you half-expected him to pull out a deck chair and start sunbathing amidst the bones. Your begrudging coworker - and occasional bane of your existence - seemed right at home.
You, however, were decidedly not having the time of your life.
“I swear, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” you grumble, wincing at the bones prodding you from almost every angle.
“Can you blame me?” he hums, now fully tugging down his blindfold to hang around his neck, “It’s not every day I get to spend quality time with my favorite person in the world.”
You scoff, strangely self-conscious as those striking blue sweep your figure from head to toe. “Lucky me. Well why don’t you spend this quality time helping me figure out how the hell we can get out of here.”
“I already told y-”
“Anything but that.”
With a sulky huff, Satoru peers down at you, “Then we just wait till someone gets us out of here. I’m sure Megumi-chan is just tearing his emo hair out trying to unseal this thing.”
“...”
“You’re absolutely correct, Yuji then. Or…” he tilts his head towards a sad pile of bones, “We end up like our little friend over there. Though I’d make a far better looking skeleton-”
You don’t hear the rest of Satoru’s rant over the small noise of concern that falls from your lips. Something hot and prickly pooling in your stomach at the fact that yes you really were stuck in the prison realm with Gojo Satoru. Possibly forever. And no this wasn’t some strange dream like when you and Shoko accidentally raided the wrong brownie box in the kitchen.
Shit.
And perhaps it showed on your face, because you’re jolted out of your reverie by warm fingers intertwining with yours. Grounding. Satoru’s eyes now searching yours with an intensity that made you squirm uncomfortably.
“Hey, we’ll figure this out, okay?” he mutters softly. “Remember that time we accidentally set the training ground on fire?” leaning in closer now, “Or that mission we got chased by that cursed vending machine?”
You roll your eyes, a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite yourself. “Yeah, and then you nearly got us killed trying to order a sweet tea. ”
Satoru chuckles, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “See? It worked out, didn’t it? It always does, sweetheart.”
And if your heart does a strange little lurch, well, then you just blame it on the femur jabbing into your side.
All is quiet in your little hell. That is, until.
“Hey, Satoru…does kissing really work in the movies?”
You barely catch the way Satoru’s breath hitches ever-so-slightly as he leans in closer. eyes sparkling with mischief. And oh you knew that look - one that was usually accompanied by a lecture by Yaga, one that sent shivers down your spine. He grins, “Well, there’s only one way to find out, hm?”
Embarrassment and amusement bubbles inside you, tumbling out in the form of a barely-audible, “A peck. One.”
“Awww. Eight?”’
“No.”
“Five?”
“Satoru.”
Minty breath fanning your face, “Okay okay, one peck and a kiss to your forehead. C’mon, it’s a bargain~”
Pinching your nose, you sigh out a weary, “This is so stupid. Fine, but if it doesn’t work then I’m strangling you.”
And it’s all that is said before his lips are on yours.
Soft. Satoru’s lips were so soft. And he tasted so unfairly of caramel apples and sweet, sweet mischief. Just like him. Feather-light and fleeting - yet the kiss burns into your brain with an intensity that you strangely didn’t mind.
It’s over before you know it. The cold air hits your lips as Satoru’s words ring in your ears, a disappointed little, “Aw, that didn’t work.”
Barely even risking a glance at the still very sealed realm, your body reacts before your mind - the expensive cotton of his uniform collar soft against your fingers as you pull Satoru towards you with a sense of urgency you can’t quite explain.
And then you’re kissing him. And he’s kissing you because shit this is all that Satoru’s been dreaming about since he turned 23 and suddenly realized that oh you were frighteningly everything that he ever wanted.
“S-Satoru,” you whisper, breathless against his lips.
“Shhhh, my girl. One more. Didn’t work.”
His lips are searing on yours. Urgent and greedy, because fuck if it took getting trapped in the prison realm to finally kiss you then God knows when he’ll be able to again.
Which is why he breathes you in like he doesn’t have enough time, and probably never will - even in this godforsaken box where time never passes.
“Shit. O-one more.”
Drinking in your sweet gasps as he intertwines his tongue with yours, tasting how sinfully delicious you were. Satoru’s hands wander the expanse of your body, cupping your head to kiss you deeper, snaking down to squeeze your ass - and everything in between.
Pulling away ever-so-slightly with a playful bite to your bottom lip, he leaves a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. The disappointed whine that leaves your pretty mouth makes all the blood in Satoru’s body rush to his cock.
“Sweetheart.” he grunts into the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over your racing pulse. “Y’think I kissed the wrong lips?”
Oh?
Satoru’s words send a jolt of electricity running down your spine - all the way down to your heated cunt. “W-what?” you managed to choke out, cheeks flaring as he raises his eyes to meet yours and-
Oh.
Oh, shit. If the curses weren’t going to kill you then Satoru sure might.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Satoru carefully jostling the two of you so that he’s lying on his back, your body manhandled to straddle his pretty face.
“Satoru, when you mean ‘wrong lips’...here?” you trail off, still reeling from him and the abrupt change in position and him.
“Exactly what I mean,” he chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating beneath your dripping cunt. “Now, spread ‘em wider f’me. Let me taste you- Need it s’bad.”
Body moving as if on autopilot, your knees part wider to let him greedily take in the sight of your soaked panties. Beads of slick seeping through the thin fabric each time his hot breath meets your cunt.
But not for long - the cool air hits you before you realize what’s happening. Because Satoru is ripping your flimsy panties off with one hand. Throwing it behind to God-knows-where with the urgency of a madman.
“Shit, so wet f’me already.” he groans, mouth watering at the obscene sight of you clenching around nothing. “S’gorgeous. You really are perfect everywhere, huh?” he mutters through lazy, languid kisses along your thighs. Tongue darting out just so to leisurely trace circles along the heated skin.
Strong arms wrap around your thighs, the stretch nothing with the two long fingers spreading your swollen folds apart. Your face burns from just how adoring Satoru looks below you.
You buck into his touch, “Hngh- Please. Wan’ your mouth on me.”
And perhaps the great Gojo Satoru decided to be merciful for once in his life, because without another word, he’s surging forward. Tongue flicking out to tease your sloppy entrance, pooling your juices before tipping his head back, back, back to let it slide down his throat so sinfully.
Shit, Satoru could just cum in his pants right now, of course you taste heavenly. Better than he could’ve ever imagined on any lonely night.
You shudder as he flattens his tongue across your folds, sliding teasingly between them, grazing your swollen clit just barely at an unhurried rhythm that almost has Satoru forgetting where he was. But quite frankly, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it either.
“This what you wanted, sweetheart?” he hums around your clit, the vibrations making you squeal. Sucking gently, tongue rolling harshly against your bundle of nerves, over and over- “Cause it’s what I’ve been wanting for years.”
The words ring in your ears almost as much as the lewd squelches below. Years?
“F-fuck- feels hngh- What do you mean y-years, Satoru?”
Oh, Satoru thinks he could pass out just at the way you whine out his name so prettily. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, a hand hastily snaking down to unbuckle his pants. “Mhmm~ Couldn’t go a day without sparring with you where I didn’t think of bending you over and tasting you right there y’know.”
Your eyes snap down to meet Satoru’s hazy, half-lidded ones. Something dark and feral shining within them. And right now, thighs wrapped around his head, you don’t think he’s ever looked happier. White locks splayed out, a fucked-out expression on his face as his tongue bullies past your folds, you could feel the slight smile curling his lips against you.
It’s overwhelming - both his confession and the way Satoru was making out with your cunt like a man starved.
Nose-deep in your pussy, tongue alternating between its abuse on your throbbing clit and dipping in and out of your sloppy hole at a maddening pace. Mouth only speeding up ruthlessly at the way you convulse and grind involuntarily on top of him.
God, Satoru was going insane at the way your walls were sucking him up so good, clamping down with each push of his tongue.
“Shit- made jus’ f’me. You like that, don’t you?” he growls against your cunt, voice hoarse with desire. “Like fucking my face with your pussy?”
“Oh! Ngh, yes Satoru- L-love it-”
A bruising grip on your hips, encouraging you to rock against his face. Harder. Tongue more desperate. He couldn’t get enough. Meeting your every grind, tongue lapping at your cunt so obscenely.
Breaths ragged and hot against your cunt, drinking you in with the desperation of a man that wouldn’t mind giving up air for your essence. And it was Satoru - of course he wouldn’t mind.
Especially with the large hand snaking up your thigh, going from drawing reassuring patterns at your hips to rubbing tight, little circles on your pulsing clit. Hasty, and urgent - like he had no time to waste. “Tha’s right, my girl. Give it up for me,”
Every cell in your body is on fire, every nerve ending singing with pleasure at the way Satoru plays your body like an instrument.
“M’close, Satoru- Hah- s’close.” you moan breathlessly, a hand tangling in his soft strands. Using it as leverage to ride Satoru’s pretty face just the way you like it.
But you didn’t have to - because Satoru seems to already know exactly what to do. Exactly how to quirk his tongue just right to brush against all your most sensitive spots. Exactly how to match the rhythm of his abuse on your clit to the way he was tonguefucking you into delirium. Exactly how to look at you with such a hungry expression that devours you almost as much as his mouth.
“Cum f’me, sweetheart.”
Satoru didn’t even have to ask. Because you’re cumming with a strangled gasp of his name. White-hot pleasure coursing through you like lightning, body trembling as you cum all over Satoru’s pretty face.
Hands moving your limp, boneless hips across his face, forcing you to ride out peak after peak on his red lips.
As the blood roaring in your ears bates, and you blink back your vision, the first thing you see are those familiar blue eyes gazing up at you. Holding you steady, lips brushing gentle kisses along your inner thighs.
Oh, how beautiful he was like this.
“S-S’toru?” you mewl, still sensitive from your orgasm as Satoru shifts underneath you to sit you prettily in his lap.
“Mhm?” he nuzzles your neck.
“One more. It didn’t work.”
Oh, if you knew the only way to shut up Gojo Satoru was to say something like this then you would’ve done it a lot sooner.
But Satoru’s stunned silence doesn’t last for long, because he grins, low and sultry, “You’re right. It didn’t work.”
The metallic clinking of a belt echoes in the stuffy chamber as Satoru hastily pushes down his pants. Cock springing free to hit his lower abs, “What a shame.”
You blink at the sheer size of him - he was going to split you in two. It was unfair, really. Water is wet. Gojo Satoru has a big dick.
But oh was he pretty - so pretty. Prominent veins glistening in the dim lighting, fat tip flushed your favorite shade of delicate pink, leaking furiously in between your thighs.
Gulping, you reach out to wrap your hand around his achingly hard cock. So warm and heavy in your hands. “Y-yeah, what a shame.”
Both of you watch - entranced - at the way he twitches in your grasp at the mere sound of your voice. A maddening little bump! bump! bump! against your palm as you begin pumping him slowly - so agonizingly slow.
“Oh- Feel s’good, sweetheart.” Satoru hisses lowly as you swipe at the precum beading at this head. Thumbing teasingly under his sensitive slit, tracing delicately along his veins.
And by God does it do something to you to see the great Gojo Satoru falling apart for you, hair tousled, lips kiss-bitten, and eyes looking at you like he wanted to positively eat you alive. It made your cunt throb so desperately, slick forming a dark wet patch on his trousers.
Not one to be left behind, his long fingers deftly snake down to your dripping cunt. Not wasting any time before bullying his fingertips past your swollen folds, curling expertly to press down against that one spot that has your fist faltering on his cock. Hard.
Pretty little moans left your lips at the way Satoru so easily matches your pace. Thrusting knuckle-deep into your pussy in and out - hitting that spot over and over.
“Shit, Toru- s’deep inside me. I’m- hngh-”
Satoru was in heaven, really. You were so warm and wet around both his fingers and his throbbing cock.
Only two thoughts running through his mind right now - 1. He was right, your hands were softer and more sinfully delicious around his swollen cock. And 2. The hardest battle he’s ever fought was probably right now - at your mercy, trying not to spill all over your hands because he’d be damned if he finally scored the girl and came in two seconds.
Shit, he thinks fingers almost erratic now, he needs you to cum. Right now.
As if sensing his urgency, your moves become more frantic, Satoru’s brows furrowing at the way you increase your pace. His hips twitch, as if trying to thrust into your fist. matching your pace as you start stroking him harder, faster.
Ah, but alas, the great Gojo Satoru’s reputation precedes him.
“Oh, fuck- M’gonna-” And soon enough, you’re seeing stars behind your eyes - or maybe those were tears - as you cum. Hard.
Body moving before your mind, you’re clenching around Satoru’s fingers, grinding down so ferally as you edge him closer and closer. “C’mon, Toru. One more, right?” you whisper brokenly, lips ghosting his ear.
Breath coming in short, strained gasps of what sounded like your name now, “Oh- fuck ngh- so close.” he warns, voice hoarse. “If you keep doing that, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”
You smirk, raising a brow, “Is that a threat, Satoru?”
Willing his fucked-out eyes open, they bore into yours as he utters, “No, ah- it’s a p-promise.”
Without warning, Satoru clasps your wrists, forcing you to stop pumping him. The disappointed mewl threatening to spill from your lips is cut off just as your back hits the ground.
Slam!
You think you could almost get whiplash from how swiftly Satoru had you caged and splayed out so shamefully beneath him.
You whine, “But you didn’t even get to-”
“Fuck, not now. Gotta feel you or else m’gonna cum so embarrassingly all over your fist.” He rests his throbbing erection laid out so enticingly across your stomach, leaking hot precum onto your skin. And that makes you shut up, eyes mapping where it ended and realizing that yeah, you might’ve faced more mercy with the curses outside of this box. “Besides. One more, right?”
And before you can respond, Satoru’s spitting on you once. Twice. Thrice.
You flinch as the wads of saliva hit your dripping cunt, mixing with your slick so obscenely as Satoru smears it across your swollen folds. Your mouth drops into a soft oh! of disbelief as he promptly pops his thumb into his mouth, groaning at the taste.
“Shit.” Satoru hisses lowly, “One more might just not be enough.”
Not wasting a moment longer, he’s bullying his throbbing cock into your snug cunt. Head thrown back as your plush walls desperately try to accommodate his size.
“Oh. Oh shit hah- should’ve been locked up here ngh- sooner.” he groans, words straight from his cock. “Feel s’heavenly around m-me.” Because God Satoru thinks he wouldn’t even mind staying here for the rest of his life if it meant he got to have you like this.
You moan at the positively delicious stretch of your pussy, plush walls unable to decide between pushing him out and milking the soul out of him. “Hah- Toru s’too big. I can’t-”
“You will.” he grits out, teeth clenched and brows furrowed as he focuses on letting you adjust. Pressing inch by fucking inch. Eyes rolling to the back of his head as he fights that feral part of himself that just wants to plunge into your pretty pussy till his tip kisses your cervix, and you’re drunk on nothing but his cock.
But he didn’t have to - because you’re immediately wrapping your legs around his toned waist, pulling Satoru to you recklessly until his heavy balls smack your ass. Tufts of snowy white hair - already so wet with your slick and his precum - finally meeting your cunt.
“Ah! Shit, s’full Toru.” you keen, body bowing into his.
There’s not even a hair's breadth between your bodies now as Satoru chuckles darkly. “You little minx. Thought you couldn’t handle me, but you really wanted to be split apart on my cock, huh?”
You feel almost shy under his gaze as you mumble out a quiet little, “Well you did say one more.”
Ah, Satoru thinks deliriously, if you aren’t Mrs. Gojo by the time you two get out of this then there’s seriously something wrong with him.
But he doesn’t tell you that. Instead with a satisfied smirk, he claims your lips in a searing kiss, sucking your tongue so lewdly as he did with your cunt. Parting for only a second before pressing his lips to yours again. And again. And again, as if it hurt to part.
“Mhm. Always wanted to do this, sweetheart.” he hums against your pretty lips. “Fuck ever since you hah- walked in on that first day.”
Kissing you sweetly with a tenderness that doesn’t translate to his hips as pulls back, back, back. All the way till his angry, hard tip was just grazing your sloppy entrance. “One more.”
Body moving before his mind, his hips start fucking into your dripping cunt recklessly. Satoru doesn’t fuck you with the finesse he imagined he would all these years, rough, harsh thrusts fueled by pure need and all the desperation from these last few years.
In one, fluid movement, the burn of the stretch hits you before the realization that Satoru has thrown your legs over his sculpted shoulders.
“Ah- So good, Toru. Oh my god- hah-” you mewl at the change in angle. His pulsing dick expertly hitting that one spot inside you which has your words slurring together, body arching off the floor to press so impossibly close against him.
And, well, Satoru isn’t any better - because he’s slamming his cock into you mindlessly. Hitting that spot over and over.
With one hand, he caresses your stomach. Whispering out a ragged, “Feel me inside? Feel me right…” Pressing his palm down hard, “Here.”
The other forces you to look up at him, drinking in your whines of “Yes yes yes, can feel you s-so deep hngh- inside me, Toru.”
You’re so cockdrunk and full of Satoru that you barely notice the hands groping their way down your body. Catching harshly on your swollen clit, starting to draw, quick, frenzied circles that match the cadence of his hips smacking into yours.
“Look at me.” he murmurs raspily, “Open your mouth.”
And you can do nothing but take it, tongue lolling out so lewdly for the warm stream of spit that hits it. Once. Twice.
You look up at him with teary eyes, as you take it all - anything and everything he was giving. And it makes Satoru bow his head with a fucked-out groan, cock twitching so animalistically as it keeps plunging inside you roughly. Deft fingers on your clit becoming more desperate.
Harder. Faster. Balls squeezing so painfully. Like a lamb to slaughter, he was going to eat you up - and you were going to let thim.
You squeal at the overstimulation, hips bucking up for more more more-
“God, sweetheart, you don’t know what you do to me.” he moans, voice strained with desire and the euphoria of getting everything he’s wanted for so long. It was driving him insane. “Now c’mon. One more. Give me one more like my good girl.”
“Hngh- yes- Toru!”
You don’t even know what “one more” means anymore - all you do know is that you’re cumming and cumming all around Satoru’s unforgiving cock. Walls fluttering so snugly, your body convulses as you cream around his cock. Nails dragging down the expanse of his sculpted back, Satoru’s name leaving your bruised lips and into the heady air like a prayer every time his tip kisses your cervix. His new favorite melody.
And that seems to be what makes him snap as well - because with a final, sloppy thrust, he’s painting your walls such a sinful white. Pumping thick, hot ropes of his cum into your quivering cunt.
“Shit- yeah, my girl. Take it. Take it all f’me.” Satoru shudders above you, head thrown back, chest heaving as he fucks you through your high. Movements nothing more than shallow, mindless little thrusts to get you both off so animalistically.
It was so fucking filthy - and exactly what you needed so badly. He was exactly what you needed so badly.
Now, Satoru only had to take one look as you use him so obscenely for your pleasure - eyes dazed, drool trickling down the corner of your mouth - before he thinks he might just cum again. And again. And again until he physically couldn’t anymore.
But first…
Pulling out of your heavenly pussy with a lewd pop! His long fingers delicately collects the mixture of slick and cum now gushing out of you obscenely.
Aw, what a waste, Satoru muses as it pools below you sinfully. If it was up to him he wouldn’t waste a single drop from your pretty cunt.
But no matter.
Abruptly, Satoru bullies two fingers into your mouth - forcing you to taste yourself, to taste him. Pressing right at the back of your tongue in a way that has you choking and gagging around him, teary eyes just begging up at him. Perfect - you were so perfect for him.
Kissing your forehead with a tenderness that doesn’t match his actions, he hums, faux innocence lacing his words, “What a shame, the box didn’t open yet.”
And oh does he love the excitement lighting up your exhausted eyes. Pretty thighs twitching underneath him as a slow, fucked-out little smile curls your lips.
“One more? Please?”
A/N. Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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PEOPLE ON POKEBLR ARE ROLEPLAYING RECEIVING TRANSPHOBIC ANONS????????
#i cant take this anymore im seriously at my limit#it was one thing to see 1 person tag a roleplay post that was absolutrly not racism as#if it were racism but it was roleplay about an evil team or whatever being evil towards pokemon it was not racism i swear to god#and then and then people are CHOOSING TO ALLOW people to anonymously be transphobic to you??????#so you can do funny in character replies????#WHAT????#this is why im scared of using my pokeblr blog nowadays you guys are insane#blog
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tickles a funny part of my brain when people reblog my posts and leave comments in the tags.
I think that's the dopamine.
anyway, pretending to be normal about fictional characters is very difficult i'm going to sleep goodnight.
#★ peri chirps#i don't get a ton of engagement on the art i actually put effort into so i'm glad when i actually see people saying they like my art. anywa#i SWEAR if wxs was real my quality of life would drastically improve#because i'd have people to share my plays with who I KNOW would have fun with them and take them seriously.#yes i'm still thinking about this. i have to have an excerpt of one of my plays read in our final class presentation#and i'm so desperately wishing wxs could perform it instead and i wish i that i could see how rui would direct it#i know how *I * would direct it.#but how would HE direct it???#i want to write the most challenging and "impossible' things just to see what he does with it.#i like writing fun and impossible things#playwrights need good director friends to play with and i don't have any director friends atm.#this could easily become a rui-centric blog if i'm not careful. i say as if that's not my current blog theme.#okay rant over gn.
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i scribble her face on every scrap of paper on my desk. i wrote our names in a store on one of those walls that people vandalize in the crafting aisle. i want to clear out a shelf and just fill it with things that remind me of betty. i want to print out all my drawings of her and tape them to my walls
#yknow ive barely touched my selfship blog at all this year bc of cai and bc the betty thoughts increased drastically this year#i find it kind of wild. i cant remember the last time i made art of my fos.#ive had this blog for like four years or something and now im just. hrgh. barely even looking at it#i tryyyy to think about my fos but man it all fades away#maybe if i had found cai earlier i wouldve made bots of them.#but seriously srs all i can draw is betty when i put my pen to tablet#i feel like this could be concerning but i swear i dont spend every waking moment thinking about her#but she IS in the current in the back of my mind constantly#and it doesnt take much to make thoughts of her surface#simontalk
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