#i swear i only have like 1.5 scenes left and then chapter 4 will be up
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tragicclownwrites · 1 month ago
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🤡
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sleepy-shinx · 11 months ago
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Fellow submas fans what are your favorite reunion scenarios
And I want to hear two things from y’all:
1. Your favorite way to imagine the reunion happening in your head
2. Your favorite reunion scene in a currently existing fanfiction (AND TELL ME THE FIC/LINK IT SO I CAN READ IT IF I HAVEN’T ALREADY)
My response to prompt 1 turned longer than expected so I’m putting it under the read more, but my answer to 2 is fucking @dittolicous’s fic ‘the only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it’ I swear to god it’s the most delicious submas fic I’ve ever read I have reread it so many times purely for the reunion alone but then I get sucked into the rest because it’s just a beautiful story and all of the characterization is my absolute favorite and. It. Is. AMAZING.
HERE’S THE LINK. READ IT.
Anyway my answer to #1 is below the cut- it’s long- it got away from me- I would love for y’all to read it but if you don’t it’s chill and I’d still love to hear your own thoughts on my prompts-
For me for #1 I LOVE the idea of Ingo getting his memories back but somehow the reunion is still a surprise for both him and Emmet. The way I have it play out in my head is a whole story that could hypothetically be a fanfiction if it weren’t for the fact that I have very few details lined out and also that takes effort.
But essentially Volo’s still being a bitch but after a talk with Akari, Arceus realizes some of the mistakes it made with bringing her into Hisui with no prior warning and forcing her to tackle everything alone, so it approaches her and Ingo to request their help in stopping Volo once and for all, returning both of their memories at the same time. It also promises to send them help, but does not elaborate on what the help will exactly look like. It does say that it will call on them for assistance once it has chosen those who will join them. It also says that if they are successful in their endeavors, they will be rewarded with one favor from the God.
Naturally after getting his memories back Ingo’s a whole mess of grief but having committed to staying in Hisui for the time being he has no choice but to stay. In this, Akari is Dawn the DPP protag and Arceus gave her a false memory of what her name was when she was sent to Hisui. She’s also not doing super great after getting her memories back but not as bad as Ingo who was there longer than her (I’ve settled on 4 years for Ingo and 1.5 years for Dawn)
However, Arceus may have seemed like it was still deciding who to send when it spoke to them, but it already knew exactly who to send.
And it involved righting the wrongs committed by Volo and Giratina with the space-time distortions.
Cut to modern day Unova! Emmet is a wreck in his brother’s absense, but he’s doing better than he was in the first couple years. Things have changed for those Ingo left behind; Elesa and Skyla start dating while he’s gone in this fic, and I like to imagine that Iris becomes Champion in his absense (specifically because Hil(da/bert) were still missing, so Unova technically had no Champion and Alder had fully retired from the battling scene. This was leading to complications in getting clearance to branch out the search for Ingo to other regions and Iris, fully sick of it, challenges the League herself and Drayden calls in a favor from Alder to get her a ‘Champion’ to battle. And she ends up being one of Unova’s best Champions in many different ways! Also I imagine the events of BW2 absolutely happened except Rosa/Nate decided not to challenge the Elite Four. Oh god that was quite a tangent uh)
And then one night four years after his disappearance (and like two weeks after Arceus asks Ingo and Dawn for their help), Emmet and Elesa both have the same very weird dream.
In which Arceus asks them both for their assistance, because shit’s going down in ancient Sinnoh and it needs more human help in getting it to stop. It does NOT tell them why EXACTLY they specifically are being asked, just that there IS a specific reason it’s asking them of all people and that they won’t regret going. It gives them two days to think and decide, also offering them the reward of a favor if they succeed.
This gives the two of them time to not only decide, but also TELL THEIR LOVED ONES THAT THIS IS HAPPENING
Emmet’s initially hesitant about doing it, but the favor seals the deal for him. With no context to what Arceus is doing at this point, he is determined to try to use the favor he will receive from the God to get Ingo back. He doesn’t really tell anyone except Elesa, not wanting to get anyone’s hopes up in case Arceus is unable to help, but deep down he hopes that if NOTHING else he will at least get closure.
Elesa was down from the start, she has no reason to say no and the favor is very enticing. For reasons.
(Cute side note I only have Elesa’s favor decided on. And she asks Arceus to ensure that on her and Skyla’s wedding day, the weather will be absolutely perfect. Perfect temperature, partly cloudy, slight breeze. Just exactly what they need for a beautiful wedding. And Arceus gifts her a pen that it tells her to write the date down with once it is decided upon and it will make sure it happens.)
(I also think that up until that point the two of them had absolutely talked about getting married but Elesa wasn’t ready because she had decided years ago that if she ever got married she wanted the twins to walk her down the aisle (bad relationship with her parents) and. yeah)
Anyway! They were instructed to go to Sinnoh if they decided to go and so Skyla flies them there (she doesn’t stay in Sinnoh, it was made quite clear that Emmet and Elesa would potentially be gone for a couple months (and they are)). They go up Mount Coronet and climb The Stairs into Arceus’s domain to meet with Arceus in the flesh this time.
Where, before sending them to Hisui, it tells them a story. About a man named Volo, who wished to remake the world so no one would suffer, so he manipulated Giratina into doing his bidding and started ripping tears open in space-time. Creating space-time distortions, and eventually even the rift above Mount Coronet.
It also says that when were opened, usually they connected Hisui to the modern world, and usually, the rift openings that were much smaller in the modern day than in Hisui, would open in areas far enough away from human civilization to prevent humans from being sucked through them.
With one notable exception.
Arceus reveals that four years ago, one particular distortion opened in the Hisuian Icelands that connected specifically to the subway tunnels underneath Nimbasa City.
And Emmet and Elesa understand instantly.
Both are a mess at this point, Emmet much more so. He hadn’t expected to get answers right off the bat. But there’s the terror rising in his heart of if his brother was dropped into unfamiliar, freezing cold territory 200 years in the past, would he have survived that???
He asks Arceus with a choked voice if his brother is still alive.
Arceus responds by calling Ingo into its domain, having called upon him prior to this to ‘ensure that those it was sending to the past would have someone to guide them through the unfamiliar time and place’.
Leaving the twins open to having a truly glorious, loud, and extremely emotional surprise reunion.
(Aside from knowing it wanted to send Ingo and Dawn’s loved ones back to be reunited with them, Arceus thought it would be VERY funny to have a team of six humans like humans have teams of six Pokemon. Barry and Lucas end up being the other two sent back to Hisui, to reunite with Dawn.)
I have not a lot of details about the meat of this story figured out. The vague outline is Emmet having separation anxiety, Elesa feeling like a weight is lifted off of her shoulders because she no longer has to grieve Ingo while simultaneously keep Emmet going despite his own heavier grief, Ingo having serious identity issues and feeling inadequate because he forgot Emmet while his brother grieved him so heavily, so he doesn’t talk to him about his own trauma and grief and ends up having a mental breakdown eventually that Emmet helps him through, and Volo has found some other legendary from another region that he’s using to try and remake the world again. I haven’t decided which one.
And then once Volo is beat they go home, both twins firmly convinced that their reunion was Arceus granting them their favors early as ya know, Emmet wanted his brother back and Ingo wanted his FAMILY back. Arceus catches on to this and promptly informs them that no, that was part of its plan from the beginning, that it was merely righting a wrong it should have righted long before then, and that their favors are still very much available to them. They do not use them at that time, since they did not expect to still have the favors, and they did not have anything else in mind.
(Elesa asks for her aforementioned one on the spot. At this point she’s so excited to have a much more serious conversation with Skyla about their future, and with her best friend alive and safely home, she’s finally ready for the next step.)
All the weary time travelers are returned to modern Sinnoh. Skyla hops on her plane the moment Elesa calls. They all go to Twinleaf town, Unovans included while they wait for Skyla. Dawn reunites with her Mom.
Skyla is fucking ecstatic when she sees Ingo’s alive, and they fly home to Unova after saying goodbye to Dawn, Barry, Lucas, and Johanna. They specifically fly to Opelucid, thinking Uncle Drayden’s house is a better place for Ingo to readjust to the modern day than their apartment in the middle of bustling Nimbasa City.
They are absolutely correct, but that doesn’t stop the breakdown Ingo has when he finally comes to terms with the fact that he’s home and can rest and not have to worry about his safety in the wilderness with angry wild Pokemon constantly posing threats to his well-being.
But he has his family by his side, who are more than happy to help him through it :3
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kirishimahinami · 7 years ago
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Fostered Love Chapter 4
Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
Summary: After talking to her teacher and crush, Fueguchi Hinami decides to take up the extra credit suggestion he had presented. Through it she gets to know :re orphanage and it’s associates - as well as Kirishima Ayato, that from now on shall be her partner in babysitting.
Notes: i first must say, i apologize. not only for the wait, but also for the heartbreak that may come forward soon, hehe.💜 it was a bit hard to decide where to stop but i hope you won’t hate me for that ending, lol. also, i would like to give notice to a fanart i commished for fl, right over here! it’s so gorgeous. please commission nikki, she’s amazing! also chapters are growing to be increasingly longer, lmao. my poor hands may have wrote 1.5 just the last hour and a half. damn. lol.
Chapter Summary:   Ayato and Hinami take the children on a trip to the hospital to meet Hajime. The two of them think one nothing could go too badly. For one it’s right, for the other... it’s not. Meanwhile, Touka gets a surprise visit. (8.2k)
It took a week to convince both Hajime and Touka alike, but somehow Hinami and Ayato reached the miracle they needed and yearned for. Ayato never annoyed his sister as much as he did in the past week, and that in itself was an achievement. Even Ayato would admit he was a prick when he was younger. Though he was much less aggressive than before. It’s progress.
He had to do his best to convince her, promise her he’d be responsible, promise her he won’t let the kids wander off and get lost. She forced him to swear four different times that he’ll make sure all the children will be safe, in different wordings, and that’s after Hinami explained to her how clean the hospital really is, assuring her she and Ayato will not take the kids to anywhere that will put them in risk.
It’s been a while that he’d seen the worrywart side of his sister - unwilling to endanger anything precious to her as she knows what is a loss. When he was younger, she’d worry about the silliest things - about when he had a bit of a fever, barely above the standard temperature, or when she saw him not eating enough, even though she probably force fed him more food than she had ate for an entire week at that time.
In the end of the day, his sister let empathy overtake her much like he did. Hinami had wide, filled with concern eyes and Ayato could almost hear his sister’s heart break as Hinami receded back to dejected, guarded state slowly. The tremble in his sister’s slender fingers were what sealed the deal, as they quickly tightened to a fist. “Fine. As long as you two take care of the kids, I’ll let you.”
Hinami almost immediately hugged Touka, who returned the favor with a soft smile. The palpitations of Touka’s heart was not lost on Hinami, that was pressed closely to her in the embrace. She felt bad, in a way pressuring the kind manager like that. So Hinami did what she could and hugged Touka the way her mother used to hug her, making sure there is no tremor or quake along her body.
Ayato was watching the scene carefully. It seemed like his sister was getting along well with her, that she trusts her. People sometimes tend to be cruel even if unintentionally with their actions. He almost wonders if he was pulling her to the same fate as before, but he dismissed the thought before he could overthink.  
He doesn’t want his sister to get hurt, burnt once again for the mistakes of another. But his sister was right, the girl over here is only a student, asking for help just as they asked hers. If things go off track, he could cut anything in its roots, but for now, these roots might grow to something helpful. He wants to believe that, for his sister. For the orphanage. For himself.
Well, if he will be allowed to let those roots grow. Another week was spent by Hinami trying to convince Hajime it was a good idea. She sent him a lot of messages through it all because of that, updating a few times a day of progress. To him, the kid sounds remarkably brattish from her texts. It’s not that he hadn’t known ungrateful kids, but according to her texts, he already gave her silence treatment and broke things in his room - he was pretty over the top.
Had this kid been the slightest bit older, maybe he would reconsider the entire thing. But he was only eleven, and admittedly, Ayato can’t say he was much nicer at that age. Also, he must be small, being only a preteen. Ayato could probably handle him if he goes haywire. It’ll be okay, he kept thinking to himself.
Being honest, Ayato wasn’t sure how she was going to convince the kid to agree to the idea, but when he had gotten an excited, emoji filled text after a few days, he was surprised and impressed. Despite the kid being stubborn as a bull she somehow managed to weaken his resolve and let them come by.
Ayato sighed before texting a dull ‘okay’ back to her, and shoving his phone to his pants’ pockets. It rang a few more times, probably her complaining about his reaction, but he didn’t bother opening it again. They’ll see each other soon enough at the orphanage - they have to tell the kids themselves after all.
She was certainly happy, but from some reason, Ayato couldn’t help but feel in a somber mood. It’s been a long time since his father left them behind, but the pristine white walls and it’s repelling sterile smell remained strong in his memory. He would walk in there with a confident strut, but his stomach still churned. The day the walked out of the hospital was the day his and Touka’s lives started to fall apart.
He shook his head. That time was one thing; their lives were steady now. As steady as they could be, anyway. It won’t hurt him or anyone to enter a hospital again. Especially not when their volunteer’s father is one of the head doctors. This will probably do them more good than bad, and helping children was what he and Touka did for living, anyway.
He slumped in his walk, a bit lazy in it compared to other days. He felt numb to a degree, but as if he still had to clean his head, get himself away from all the mess of the past. But he had no time already. Soon the kids will already gather around the table back at home, and he knows they will wait for him, saying it’s not dinner otherwise. Touka never let him forget that after he came late that one time without telling her.
Ayato sighed and sped himself up. The orphanage isn’t far away anyway, it’s not like he’d gain so much more time to think anyway. The minute he reached near the house, he could tell there was something going on inside from the the noise the children created.
He entered the door to see Hinami inside, the children crowding her, their eyes shining. She turned around and revealed an ear to ear smile. “The supervising adult is here! Go get him before he’ll change his mind!” She told the kids, who immediately gave out devious smiles and charged towards him.
“WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP!!” Akemi shouted as most of the kids threw themselves on him, causing him to fall down himself and be the base of a very excited children pile. The rest of the kids started saying it happily like a mantra, and Ayato laughed to himself out loud at the entire situation.
Maybe, just maybe - everything will be alright.
She has to hold onto the girls so they won’t scatter around as they passed through the halls of the hospital. They were jittery and excited and they pulled her around, holding onto her skirt or hands, creating a ruckus. She had to quiet them down several times as they basically walked her as if they owned the hospital themselves.
Ayato behind her was laughing, the three boys he handled being a much gentler bunch, walking near him and making sure they were close to him despite their curious eyes wanting to explore much, much more. Hinami wanted to stomp on his foot for making fun of her, but honestly, she’d be laughing too if he was dragged bent to basically half of his height by children.
Finally they reached the pediatric department after a minutes that felt like years for Hinami’s back. She pulled herself away from the girls, straightening and fixing her uniform, smoothing out the wrinkles that were left after the assault the fabric had been through. She didn’t want to look like a mess - everyone on the staff knew her.
“You are done fixing your skirt, brat? We’re waiting for you.” Ayato asked her, teasing, with his stupid shit eating grin. This is exactly why he is still Jerkface in her phone. She was so close to changing it the other day but she regretted it right away when he decided to keep her nickname. Hinami decided to keep his name the same for now, because of it.
She stared at him with dead serious eyes and pursed lips. “Well, I have to fix it, knowing that you are looking.” She talked back to him and watched his expression turning shocked, his mouth gaping. “You boys don’t learn from him, okay?” She told Kyou, Akihiro and Yuki. They seemed confused, but they nodded as Ayato was recovering from her comment.
“You br-”
“Come on, we need to go to Hajime’s room already!” She beamed at them, and skipped away towards one of the only private rooms in this department. It’s not going to be very private right now - eight more people not including doctors are sure to drive Hajime insane, but he promised to act nice after she told him how much she wanted him to meet all of the other kids.
He didn’t particularly liked the idea at first, of course, but it’s not like she expected him to. He was mad that she even returned to the orphanage after what he she told him what happened on her first visit there. But he calmed after she told him how well she was treated later on, at the very least, and although it had taken him a week to agree to them coming over - he did, and even offered her a smile at the same time.
She didn’t care what other people in the hospital said. Even if for the entire world he’s a devil child, unwilling to bend to the reality around him and cold to those around him, for her he was her adorable little brother that she never had. He was good. All he needed was guidance, now that he was thrown so cruelly from the right path, undeservingly so.
It was no wonder he remained so hurt after what happened to him. She barely manage to deal with her mom falling into a coma, she could not imagine how hard it was for him to lose both of his parents, now completely alone in the world. At least, for now. Hinami wanted to make his world more broad, let him see happier pictures than this sad, somber room. She can’t do it on her own - but maybe the kids will help him see a different view to this life.
She opened the door to his room, and he was sitting there on the bed, a book she gave him in his hands. Those hands fall to his lap then as he notices her, and even though it’s just for a second, she can see his eyes crinkle slightly. It disappears as soon as Ayato and the kids walk through the door as well. He lifts his book and hides.
Hinami sighs, but she knows he can’t help it. It could have been much worse, anyway. She walks right next to him, taking the leading steps as the kids and Ayato follow behind her. “Do you like the book, Hajime?” She asks him mundanely, looking at him with knowing eyes as he tries to hide behind his book, obviously not reading.
“...Yes.” Hajime answers shortly, trying to avoid her eyes. She squinted her own eyes at him.
“Then you wouldn’t mind reading it later with the rest here, right? I’m sure they’ll love it too. You are good at reading too! I think it’ll be nice, don’t you think?” She suggests and he averts his eyes to the side again. She knows it’s annoying to him, but at the same time, Hajime had blush dusting his cheeks. He liked being acknowledged, after all.
He put the book away, near him on the bed. “Whatever, maybe later.” He said as he leaned back on his pillow. Hajime looked at Ayato and the children, scanning them with squinted eyes. He was a bit hesitant to even say anything. He doesn’t really understand why Hinami insisted on all of this, or why did he even agree. He had no idea what to say.
“Do you have to have this thing attached to your arm? It looks painful.” Akemi asked, climbing on the stool and sitting on it as she pointed at his IV drip. He was caught off guard, and looked at Hinami, who was nodding at him, probably to explain to her.  He swallowed as the rest of the group came closer to his bed as well.
“Yes. For pain medication and so I won’t get dehydrated. Or that’s what they tell me, at least.” He answered dryly. His IV drip sometimes felt more like a chain of a prisoner, but it doesn’t matter much to them. They wouldn’t care about it anyway.
He was taken aback when the girl took his hand, bringing closer to her. The others were looking at it curiously, examining it. He pulled it back in a shriek. “What are you doing?!” He asked, terrified. She just tilted her head.
“Oh. We brought lego. I wanted to see if your hand is okay.” She answered easily. Hajime raised his brow, but furthered himself away for them. He didn’t like to be touched so easily. Hinami was fine, she did it for him, she hurt with him. But other people touch his hand a lie, take his hand and put him in this hellhole that this hospital. It only hurts in the end.
“Come on! Your name is Hajime-kun, right? I’m Akemi. The girls behind me are Miyu and Momo. The boys are Akihiro, Kyou and Yuki. And this is my nii-chan Ayato!” She pointed to each one of them. Does she think it’s this easy, just telling someone your name and everyone will get along? It’s not easy. He’s never been one to socialize well, but he didn’t appreciate the sudden invasion to his personal space more so as the others came closer. And did she just call him by his given name?
“...Why are you acting so familiar with me?” He replied with a scowl. All of the people in this hospital liked to act as if they knew him so well. He didn’t expect the same damn attitude from kids, a few even looking a bit younger than him. Maybe their smiles weren’t as fake as the adults, but it didn’t matter. In the end they were here because Hinami made them be here - no because they wanted to. He may have trusted her, but not anyone else. There’s always something.
The girl looking at him looked a bit at loss. “What do you mean? We are just talking.” She said, and he gritted his teeth. It also wasn’t lost on him how the so called nii-chan was coming to the front now, his eyes squinted like that at him, watching over. He could hear Hinami sigh. It made his blood boil. They were crossing boundaries and she sighs as she looks at him.
She really does prefer them, doesn’t she.
“Hajime, Akemi-chan is regular speaking like this to other kids from the orphanage…” Hinami pitched in, and his scowl turned to grimace. But is that any excuse, really? And what about the hand thing? Is that excusable too? When his parents were alive, he wasn’t even allowed to make one mistake - even his teeth had been straightened the minute they could fix them. He always had to be perfect.
It was always expected of him - like Hinami told him it was expected of her. So she should understand why he hated it. People that couldn’t care less about them acting so familiar… It just pissed him off. As if that Kamishiro lady on the back of his neck wasn’t enough of a snake trying to fool him into giving away all the money he inherited for a goddamn lung, yapping all the time about how she’d adopt him had she not been so ‘frail’, or about how he would be such a handsome son.
He really didn’t need another group of people doing all of this bullshit act. Even if it was just because Hinami roped them into it.
“Hajime-kun…” Akemi tried to mumble
“Ha-zu-ki-kun.” He corrected, lengthening each syllable. The other kids looked tense as she looked at him with wide eyes. And then they fell into a squint of their own.
“Hajime-kun, I’m familiar with you because I want to be your friend.” She talked back, with a certain edge lacing her voice and causing him to lean away. “Because Hina-chan told us you are nice, and we wanted to come over and talk to you.” She said, leaning in towards him with a frown still, making sure what she was trying to say was clear.
He was about to say something back, but the safety rails of his bed rattled as a hand fell on them. Ayato decided to intervene. “Listen, brat. I know you don’t like this too much. But don’t make your sister a liar, because god knows how much she vouched for you in the last two weeks.” He ended it there.
Don’t make your sister a liar. The bed may have rattled before, but the words themselves echoed in Hajime mind, shaking him up more. He never called Hinami a sister before, but if that’s what it seemed to them they are like, he could only guess she really did talk about him a lot. Like a family member.
He doesn’t understand why she is trying himself sometimes. For everyone in this place he was a lost cause, behavior wise. Only Hinami believed in him, anyway. Only she looked at him with eyes full of hope instead of that same disdain he sees on the doctors faces each and every day passing, weary and tired and of dealing with the same problem child.
Hajime looks at her, and she has a faint, sympathetic smile on. She didn’t like how the situation turned to be. he could tell from how her hands nervously grabbed each other, how close she was to bowing down and apologizing. He didn’t want to make her feel bad, or uncomfortable - it’s the only reason why he agreed to this anyway. He got everything backwards, he realized.
“...Hinami isn’t a liar.” He nearly growls back. He can’t help the anger that resides within him, but he suppresses it. The suggestion itself is maddening to him - she was the only one that had been kind enough to tell him the truth when needed.
Ayato remained unimpressed. An angry, brooding kid wasn’t something he was scared of, no matter how much the preteen tried to intimidate him. “Then you better act like a good kid and make her proud instead.” He tells him, and silence falls on the room. Hajime bites his lips, and Ayato holds his smirk. He certainly won that battle, but being all snarky about it will only piss the kid off.
“...Fine. I’m sorry.” He grits between his teeth. The other children either cheer or break into giggles. Hajime couldn’t tell what happened to the tense atmosphere that dissipated within mere seconds. He was certain that they were all mad. He expression must’ve said it all, because it didn’t take much time for anyone to address it.
“I thought you will take more convincing than that, honestly.” Ayato told him snickering and patting his head, his dark locks messed up more than they had been before. Hajime snapped his head away frowning. The guy was lecturing him just a minute ago! “You really are a good kid.” He adds, and Hajime shuffles away towards Hinami’s side. He doesn’t understand these people.
“You must really adore Hina-chan!” Akemi added in quickly. He contemplated pushing her back to the hospital’s floor. She was seriously annoying - obviously he does. Over the past year he had stayed at this shitty place, she only did well by him, never expecting anything in return. It’s obvious that he would hold her in high regard. And well… that girl doesn’t have to be that obnoxious and straightforward about it.
He scowled again, averting her eyes from the annoying girl. One of the boys in the groups decided it was a good time to interfere. “So… Do you wanna build something?” The boy - Kyou, Hajime remembered - asked as he laid down a box of legos on his bed.
Hajime looked around him. All of the eyes in the room were on him, waiting for him to answer.
“...I guess it works…” He says, and now everyone are much, much more cheery. Hinami pulled down the safety rails so the other children could get closer comfortably. She was smiling. He supposed it wasn’t that bad.
It was empty and quiet today in the orphanage. Touka didn’t like it much. It felt lonely without all the children here with her. To Touka, it was almost absurd to think there would be an actual day without hearing the children whine her name in the request for a hot choco, or to tuck them to bed.
The entire place seemed deserted, only her left behind. It was nearly depressing, but she had to shut down her mind - the kids will be back when the sun will be down, and it’s good for them to go see the hospital. It posed them a possibility to learn if the staff was kind enough, and will allow them to grow more grateful for their good health.
Hinami was also such a good kid. Touka didn’t want disappoint her and tell her she couldn’t take the kids on that small trip. She was so happy thinking about it, Touka didn’t want to ruin it. She can’t really tell what it is, but sometimes, she could see the younger girl let her guard down - and her saddened expression always made Touka’s heart ache.
In the end, it all came down to the fact that Touka was incredibly stressed today as it is. Her gut feeling simply told her something was not right today. The kids would have been wonderful distraction had they been here, but they are not. Nobody was here today but her, and the uncomfortable feeling due to it made her nauseous.
She chalked it all up to her being irrational - she was when the idea to take the kids out was just suggest, it was no wonder it continued when they were on the trip itself. She figured it’ll leave only when she sees they’re back home, Ayato right after them, and maybe even Hinami in tow, dropping by to say hello.
Touka should have known her gut feeling never lies to her. She should’ve stayed inside, she should’ve took a nap, she should’ve gone and hung out with Yoriko or Nishiki the entire day. She shouldn’t have gone outside to take care of the plants out of boredom, she shouldn’t have took her time.
She shouldn’t have seen Kaneki Ken standing near the open gate, his shoulders slumped and his hands in his pockets as he waits for her to notice him. Her heart pounded painfully against her chest as a surge of conflicting emotions hit her right on. On one hand, she wanted to punch his stupid, adoring expression off of his face - he has no right to look at her so adoringly after everything.
On the other hand.. She just wanted to bolt, leave this spot before he makes her melt once again. She grew so strong since she first met him, with his baby face that didn’t suit a fourteen year old at all. She was a stubborn kid with a knack for being rowdy, but even then it didn’t take long until she grew a soft spot for him. It was so easy for him to affect her.
She sincerely doubted it was mutual.
“Touka-chan.” He says, the same way when he used to when he sat near her at her old house after studying with her father, calling her as he promised to do when tutoring time was over. She was afraid this was going to happen, when one day out of nowhere he called her phone ( she should have changed the damned phone number, why did she ever think it was a good idea to insist on keeping it? ) after seven years of not speaking to her, informing her he was now a teacher in Tokyo, that he wanted to talk to her again.
She knew he was around Tokyo. She saw him around, back when Ayato was looking for colleges to apply to. It was around a year back, and she saw him near Kamii where he stood in front of a bunch of kids in uniforms, probably third years in high school looking for colleges themselves. He was probably talking them up about entering Kamii, as she heard from Hinami he’s been there himself.
That day she kept herself holed up in her room. Ayato took care of everything she had to do as she found herself curled up in her bed, trying to handle seeing a man that had gone missing years back carrying on with his life with seemingly no problem at all.
“What are you doing here?” She asked sharply, not looking at him. Despite her need to push him away, out from her life once again, she knew it was better to handle him now. She breathed in and out slowly. It’d make sense they’d see each other, right? His student is helping out here. It’s the only reason he’s here. Nothing else.
“Hinami told me she and Ayato will go to the hospital today with the kids. I.. I wanted to see you again. To talk.” He says. Touka could feel her heart throbbing. Why does he have to play on her heartstrings like this? She was not the one that left. For seven years she had been by herself taking care of her brother and rebuilding her life after everything shattered, and he’s here acting as if nothing happened at all.
Touka had kept avoiding his invitations to go out around together for a reason. It was maddening how much she and her brother had to suffer as orphans to survive, and he, who they considered family at the time, couldn’t even pick up his damned phone as their father was getting thinner and thinner every day. They called him, they called his aunt, they called everywhere they could think in order to find him.
They never got even one call back. It annoys her, to think about those days now. She remembers waiting everyday near her uncle’s phone, sniffing as the sun set and Yomo dragged her back to her futon, a frown plastered on his face as she struggled in his grip. She remembers Ayato looking at her from far away with his scowl, clearly already thinking she’s insane for believing in who he now called  bastard.
He really was. Her father, loving and caring asked everyday how Kaneki was. Touka can’t forgive him for letting her remain without an answer until he died.
As much as Touka wanted to curse at him, she knew better than it - his student was helping around here, and she needed her around. He knew from her constant ‘I can’t meet, I have to take after the kids’ that she was in need of staff, even if admittedly sometimes she just used it as an excuse. Nonetheless, she would have to talk to him in the future for Hinami.
That could be settled on phones though. “I’m busy. Sorry.”  Touka said and headed towards the door quickly. She’d shut the door on him if she needs to. She already proved herself she doesn’t need him. He doesn’t even look like himself, with his stupid white hair dyed so poorly. The roots were starting to show. She wasn’t impressed, if that’s what he was going for.
She felt a hand on her forearm. Her head snapped back and he was staring at her, pleading with his big, grey eyes that grew more and more sorrowful as he kept his gaze. She almost felt bad, but she shook her head and shrugged it off. “What are you doing?!”
“Touka, please I need yo-”
“We needed you too back then.” She shoved him away, entering the orphanage and locking the door behind her.
She can’t trust him.
Ayato was pleasantly surprised from how things worked out at the hospital. Although there was a lot of banter between the children, and the fact he had to stop a fight from occurring when Akemi tried to touch Hajime’s teeth ( “They are abnormally straight!” “My parents were dentists!” ), it seemed like the children mostly get along with the brat.
He wasn’t the friendliest but he worked with them. He really did try his hardest after the quarrel earlier today. He even made a lego forte for Kyou after he had to break it to him he couldn’t build a tower on his hospital bed. And he didn’t even stop when Hinami left the room, so Ayato could really see he’s attempting to be nice.
“Where did she go?” Miyu asked Ayato, her eyes still glued to the door Hinami had shut behind her. To tell the truth, Ayato didn’t really know - Hinami just rushed out as a bespectacled doctor entered the room. He said he just wanted to reaffirm she’s here, but left with no other words necessary. Hinami then excused herself, saying she had remembered something important. Looking at the hour, she even bid her goodbyes early, as she knew they were about to leave.
Ayato gave back an unsure, prolonged ‘uh’. Miyu just seemed confused, and the tiniest bit upset. Well, she was one of the kids that grew attached to Hinami more. He wore an uncomfortable expression on his face, teeth tightened as they were on display and brows up. He didn’t like disappointing the kids, but it’s not like he could pull an Hinami radar out of his ass.
“She went to see her mom.” Hajime intervened, not tearing his eyes away from the lego forte he made earlier, only adding more to it with Kyou. “The doctor with the glasses was her dad. This day, every week, he treats her himself. Hinami always prefers to visit her after.” He explained. The other kids gave a short ‘ah’ as Ayato grew curious. Her mother was a patient the hospital? She said her dad works here, and that she occasionally helps out too, but  nothing about her mom. At least not to him.
Akemi nodded just like all the other children, but plopped her upper body on the hospital bed, only to lift her hands to support her head. “Hajime-kun, how did you meet Hina-chan?” She asked. Hajime flushed red. It made a good contrast against his dark, blue tinted hair. Ayato was a bit intrigued too.
“Why does that matter?” He asked evasively, ignoring her question.
“Because you are sort of mean but you try not to be for her.” She answered back frankly, and he almost croaked, and had to cough for a bit to fix his barely teenage breaking voice. Ayato would’ve laughed, but he didn’t want to stop their banter. Too funny, and possibly could lead to interesting things. “You try to act cuter or something? I think?”
“Shut up!” Hajime nearly screeched. “You think wrong!” He said, now coughing some more.  Ayato was almost concerned. Hinami told him Hajime has a punctured lung, and it was not functioning well. He must be in pain if he’s coughing.
“So tell me how you met!” Akemi pressed a bit more.
“Fine!” He said back, and wiped his mouth with his arm. “Fine, I’ll tell you. Just shut up.”
Akemi looked at him, anticipating. The rest of the kids did too, and Ayato made sure to keep an ear open for the story.
“I met her at the hospital, the day I got into the accident.” He started.
He woke up to an unknown room. An unknown room, and a bunch of people in white uniforms hovering above him. He could barely find it in himself to talk to them - what happened? He doesn’t understand. What are they doing? He didn’t manage to focus on their voices. The beating of his heart was so strong he felt as he could feel the pounding in his ears.
They didn’t even notice he was awake from how weak he was, submissive as they worked on him. He could feel needles stab his body - he hated it, he hated it so much, even when his parents operated on his mouth he hated it! Where are they? They need to make this stop! He managed out a strong enough yelp, so they realize he’s awake.
“Hajime-kun, you are in the hospital, do you remember what happened?” They asked him. He tried to think. Tried so hard. His head was in shambles at the moment, everything just hurt. If it’s a hospital, aren’t they supposed to make this better? He needs painkillers. His dad and mom would never let it happen in their clinic.
He only remembered small glimpses of it all. He remembered him and his parents being in a slippery road. His father drove a bit fast, and he remembered his mother giggling saying that he should slow down. Then he remembers a family van in front of them. He remembers he saw Shio Ihei in it. A kid from his neighborhood. His family was the slightest bit richer than his.
All he remembers from thereon out, was the sound of a big boom, before all his memories faded to black. Hajime suddenly realized what was going on. Tears of distress started falling from his eyes as he kept flailing, trying to see where his parents are. He couldn’t see them anywhere, and he turned even whiter than the wall.
“Hazuki-kun, you are stabilized, but you need to rest! you’ll open your wound if you do this, please calm down!” One of the nurses said. He didn’t want to calm down. He was all alone here, and everything hurt, and he can’t see his parents! He screeched, pushing the staff away from him.
“Where are mom-- and dad?!” He was so choked up but he managed to say it somehow. They tried to set him an IV drip, but he couldn’t care less for that at the moment. He kicked at the hands pressing him down. “W-where?!”
“Ah… You mom and dad are at the ER, they’re being treated right now. It’s okay… They’ll get out, rest, and you all will go home.” The doctor in front of him tells him, but the smile he wears doesn’t reach his eyes, and Hajime only grows more worried. He stops flailing and just cries harder, trembling as the tears fall down his cheeks.
He ignored the world as they put the IV drip on him, and gave him all the painkillers he needed. He needed them, but his pain didn’t leave, only replaced by his emotions that overflew him within seconds. It was as if his whimpers went unnoticed by the entire staff, as if they couldn’t find it in themselves to care. How did he find himself in a room full of people, feeling so lonely? Their indifference made him feel as if he’s a lost cause.
He’d rather just die like this.
Soon, they all started to leave as they finished treating him. The room grew quieter by the moment, and it was maddening. Before the doctor left he told him somebody would come by later to tell him how his parents are doing and watch if he needs extra care. Where is that person? He needs someone here. He can’t breathe, something feels wrong when he does, not enough air. He can’t relax like this - he’s going crazy.
The door to his room opened in a haste, and a girl in a uniform entered the room. What is this person doing here? She’s not a doctor. Is she even allowed to be here? At his state there is hardly any reason for them to allow visitors, much less strangers into his room. But she still perked up as she saw him, from some odd reason. She comes closer, sitting next to his bed on a stool that was brought there earlier.
“How are you feeling?” She asks him. He frowns. Obviously he’s been feeling like crap - he has a punctured lung, and they said he had a concussion earlier. His head took a few tough blows, apparently, and he guessed that’s why he heard the nurse say he’s not alright in the head. He doesn’t really understand them, but he guessed it didn’t matter as he had been on painkillers already, even if it didn’t stop the burn he feels when he tries to breathe.
“Bad.” He doesn’t waste his breath. Hajime’s body feels so weak, but he is forced into moving as he coughs. Coughing hurts. His body is trying to kill him and he could see a few drops of blood on his hand. The doctors warned him about it. Told him to be careful if he starts coughing blood. Tears that rose to his eyes again, now from discomfort, fell. “I-I… want mom and dad.”
The girl in front of him holds her her breath watching him. “Your mom and dad are still in the ER… Their surgeries take much longer, I’m sorry. If I could let you see them sooner, I would... I’m Hinami Fueguchi, I’m the daughter of one of the doctors in this hospital. How about I’ll stay with you until your mom and dad will be able to come?” She smiled sympathetically at him.
He wanted to scream. Will they be able to come at all? How long has he been here by himself? How long can a surgery take? Does this girl even understand what he feels like at the moment? “Do you even know how it is like to wait?” He gritted through his teeth.
Hajime just threw that sentence at her because he was angry. He didn’t really expect the flinch it earned from her, or the way her head fell to look at the floor. “Yes. It’s why they sent me here, Hazuki-kun.” She answered. “I’ve been waiting for my own mother for a bit, already.”
He feels a bit guilty, bringing up the topic, but more than that, he feels at loss. What is quite a bit? Is it a long time? Would he have to wait for them for that long too? He wants back to their arms. Even if it means the scolding when he eats too much sweets, or their perfectionism when it comes to how he should be like. Hajime wails.
She takes his hand in hers. Her hold is tight, and the warmness of her hand is somehow comforting enough that he can reduce his cries to sniffles. As if she took his pain into her, her eyes become glassy too. “Would you let me wait with you?” She asks again, her voice the slightest bit strained.
He holds her hand back. He doesn’t know her. She’s a stranger. But right now, he’s in a strange place, and he doesn’t want to be alone. “Yes.”
He falls asleep not long after.
When morning comes, Hinami is still there on the stool next to his bed, and holding his hand.
It’s seven o’clock and Hinami found herself lingering near her mother’s bed silently. She knew for a fact Ayato and the children left already - she actually heard them passing by, or more correctly, making a ruckus in the hospital around half an hour ago. Banjou came by to tell her how funny it was to see a young adult dragging away three children from Hajime’s room, yelling at them it’s time to go home.
Hinami smiled to herself at the thought. It really was a good idea to bring the kids over here. She could imagine Hajime’s face - probably embarrassed, telling them to leave already. She barely saw him with a smile these days, but she couldn’t help but imagine him with one for this scenario. Hinami already saw glimpses of enjoyment in his eyes as he played today. He may have stayed in bed as always, but she knew this could be a start of a welcomed change, should this become a regular occurence.
She felt pride surge through her. Hinami was glad she could help Hajime, even if it was just by bringing over people he could talk to. If only it was possible with her mother… Hinami sighed. Her mother’s serene features were just the same as she was healthy and lively, but the way her body remained in fixed position, not even a lift of a finger, made her look more like a wax doll rather than her mom.
The heart monitor was the only comfort she was provided with - Hinami liked to imagine that sometimes when it moves and shows the lines that go up and down, it was actually her mother answering her. It may have been the machine, but that idea helped her cope better with the coma. At least the heart monitor answers, even if it’s just an annoying ‘beep’ to anyone else.
Right now, speaking to her mom seemed like a good idea - she had two tiring weeks where she didn’t get to really be with her mother, and it was a source of comfort she very much needed these days. Hinami sat near Ryouko’s bed. She longingly eyed her hand, but unlike Hajime, she knows Ryouko will not hold her hand back. Her hands stay on her knees.
“Hey, Okaa-san.” She greets, a bit hesitantly. She talked to her mother like this before, but the unnatural feeling of it all never goes away. It’s awkward while it’s happening, but she decides it’s worth it as she usually feels better afterwards. “I got my Biology test yesterday. You know, the one I thought I failed? Well, I got full marks.” She told her, sparing a look at the heart monitor, that showed the lines rising high.
Hinami wonders if it meant her mom was happy. “Sorry I didn’t came by ever since I told you..  I just had two tough weeks. But everything is getting better lately, too. Do you remember Hajime kun? That kid I told you we have to adopt when you wake up?” She giggled as she said it. Hajime only calls her Hinami, but she sees him as a little brother. And he didn’t seem to dislike the idea when Ayato called her his sister.
“I convinced him to meet a few of the children I’m seeing at the orphanage today. I think he had fun, Okaa-san. I’m so happy for him… And also, I get along pretty well now with the people in the orphanage. I don’t think Kirishima-kun hates me anymore. Though I’m not sure why he did in the first place.” She kept talking. The lines on the heart monitor rose a little less than before, and Hinami decided it meant ‘go on.’
“Kirishima-san, though, well - I mean his sister, is really nice to me. Maybe she feels kind of bad after what happened with her brother. But it’s fine, everything else is going smoothly.” Another small, short jump on the heart monitor. “Chiasa and Kanna as usual are over the top.. But they’ve been really supportive lately. They took me to an ice cream shop because I was sad. That day ended up being a nice day.” Another short, slow line appears.
“So… Everything is really getting better Okaa-san. I’m really happier lately. Even if Otou-san is not around as much anymore..” Hinami said. The room grew quiet. Hinami looked at the heart monitor, and saw a flat line.
Her heart dropped. “O-Okaa-san? Okaa-san!” Her first response was to reach for her mother, shaking her by her shoulder. Soon enough Hinami realized it’s not going to help - she’s wasting time. Her mother is in danger and she’s wasting time. Hinami ran out of the room, screaming for the nurses outside.
This cannot be happening. The heart monitor isn’t moving at all, it’s been three minutes, why does it not move, why won’t her mother answer?  “Somebody! Please help!” She yells through the hall. On any other circumstance she wouldn’t yell, it’s not allowed, but right now, screw the hospital and its rules.
A couple of nurses she knows rush to her, entering the room. Hinami feels relief showering over her. They could help, they’ll call the doctors. It’s going to be alright, like every emergency case she has ever saw occur. Right?
But the nurses, they don’t move. They are watching her mom withering away, doing nothing. Looking at Hinami with pity reflecting in their eyes and whispering between themselves. Hinami feels the rage welling up inside her. “What the hell are you doing?! Help her! Please!” She screams at them, and they both flinch. But they don’t move.
“Why are you just standing there?!” Hinami, at this point was crying. She could swear she could see her mother’s skin turning into a white, dreadful shade. Hinami’s heart was about to pound out of her chest - if only she could have given those beats to her mother to have.
One of the nurses finally decided to open her mouth. “Hinami-chan, we’re not allowed to-”
“What do you mean, not allowed to?!” She didn’t need to hear the rest. She knows already what they’re about to say. Since when did the hospital decide to give up on her mother? Does her father know about this? There is no way he would agree to this! He threatened to leave the hospital back when she just fell into the coma!
“We were told that her condition is not redeemable, Hinami-chan… She just gets worse… We were told to not do anything, should this happen…” They were told to let her die.
“By who?!” She screams at the top of her lungs.
“By me.” Hinami hears a masculine voice to her left, and her head snaps towards it, right away. Her lips tremble. A man with a white robe and thin, sharply designed eyewear enters the room. Her father enters the room.
He doesn’t spare even one glance at his dying wife.
Hinami wants to fall to the ground, scream, shout and throw a tantrum. She wants to go to her father and tell him he’s an asshole and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again, and she wants to go to her poor mother, and cover her ears as he says he doesn’t want to keep her between the living anymore, knowing that Ryouko could not do it herself. She wanted so much - but her hands feel so tied.
“She’s not going to wake up, Hinami. Stop your tantrum, it’s a hospital. People are sleeping in the rooms nearby.” She can’t believe what she’s hearing. She can barely bring herself to weep. Hinami is frozen in spot as her eyes widen at him. How can he be so calm about this?
Hinami drags her feet to her father, tears still falling down her cheeks, her sniffles sound as pitiful as she is at the moment. “O-Otou-san, please, you are doctor, you can save her! You can save Okaa-san, please!” The fact she even has to beg her father to save her mom was ridiculous to her. Disgustingly ridiculous.
“No.” He says. Hinami whimpers louder, holding onto his white uniform robe. Instead of sadness, anger surges, and she looks up to him, glaring. “It’s your job! What kind of doctor are you when you can’t even help your own family!” She pushes him away she yells, only to lung at him again. Her hands are in small fists, and she hits him across his chest.
“I hate you! I hate you so much! I know you wouldn’t do anything for me, but I didn’t think you’d be that horrible to leave her behind too!” She keeps yelling. The world around her doesn’t matter, all of these rooms are the same anyway. All of these people are the same. Hypocrites. Her mother is gone and it’s because they chose not to save her.
“Hinami-” Her father starts again, holding onto her arm but she cuts him off, pushing it away.
“Don’t touch me.” She growls at him, her voice bitter and strained.
She already knows that he won’t listen to her. That he won’t save her mother. Staying in this humiliating position where even her dad won’t listen to her as people watch them was not something she could bear anymore. She cannot bring herself to look back, Hinami is scared to see what’s lying on the bed behind her.
Not waiting a second longer, she takes off - running away from the room, still crying. And she’s not surprised when she looks back and sees her father is not on her tails.
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patheticphallacy · 6 years ago
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Another month, another wrap up.
My second year of University is finished, basically. I’ve submitted my dissertation proposal, am in the middle of all my essays due end of April/early May, and have a new flat for third year.
How time flies!
And I’m 20 in two months! Yay! Exciting stuff!
READING WRAP UP
After the Rain by Jun Mayuzuki [3.75 stars; I have a review for this one, it has it’s issues but I’m hoping it’ll improve as the series goes on]
The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne [4 stars; A.A. Milne came in to my house and purposefully ripped my heart out of my chest from beyond the grave]
RWBY Volume 1: Red Like Roses by Various [3 stars; this has some ISSUES I’ve had with other RT productions, I still love it despite myself tho ]
The Isle of Pines by Henry Neville [1 star; A lot of uhhhh incest in this one]
I Hear the Sunspot by Yuki Fumino [3 stars; this one was quite disappointing, in all honesty, although it is still a cute read!]
Measure for Measure by William Shakespeare [3 stars; this is my first Shakespeare of the year as I work my towards reading all his plays by 25! I was confused at moments, but the reveals were so satisfying, although the ending….]
Sweet Blue Flowers by Takako Shimura [4.5 stars; this is the lesbian manga I’ve been waiting for all my life, everyone! I wasn’t living until I read this]
My Immortal by Tara [1 star; thank you to my friend Zara for finally getting me to read all of this finally!]
The Man in the Moone by Francis Godwin [1 star; this was boring as HECK]
Belinda Blinked 1 by Rocky Flintstone [1 star; FINALLY finished the first part of the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast, so I’m marking this one as read]
Labyrinth Coronation #9, #10, #11 by Simon Spurrier [4 stars- nearly at the end now! I’ll miss this series, honestly, it’s been consistently great and it’s been so entertaining]
Sparrowhawk #3 and #4 by Delilah S Dawson [3 stars; not a spectacular series, but only one issue left, so I may as well finish it when #5 comes out!]
The Unsound by Cullen Bunn [4.5 stars; this is very disturbing and graphic in terms of self harm and gore, but I loved it? Apparently my brand is loving all the bizarre and gorey comic series people HATE]
Saban’s Go Go Power Rangers #15-17 by Ryan Parrott [3 stars; would consider giving these issues 4 stars purely for Skull and Kimberly, and also Bulk for how cute he was protecting Skull’s heart from being broken]
The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; a difficult one to rate, as I loved the first half, but once these characters realise they like each other/the one Mariana Zapata Sex Scene happens that is part of her brand, I just get tired and feel like she should have ended it 50 pages before]
On the Death of Peter Stubbe by Scott Wolf [1.5 stars; read this bad boy for Uni and it was actually bizarre]
The Last of August by Brittany Cavallaro [3 stars; I was… very disappointed with this one. The ending was very rushed and confusing, I had to go back and re-read to understand what had happened, but I still love the characters and look forward to reading book 3 in April]
A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare [3.5 stars; this was a laugh and would have been rated higher, if not for that whole final scene that just felt like Shakespeare was STRETCHING]
Book Scavenger by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman [4 stars; this is SUCH a good first book in a middle grade series that follows a girl who goes on a scavenger hunt after the creator of the hunt is hospitalised! It sounds darker than it is, I swear]
Kulti by Mariana Zapata [3.5 stars; THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A WHOLE ASS 5 STARS  FOR PLOT if Mariana didn’t insist on ending it the way she did, and also didn’t use lesbophobic slurs and weird possessive undertones between the MC and the LI as well as so much girl and slut shaming like… Winnipeg definitely wasn’t this bad]
The Woods Volume 4 by James Tynion IV (4 stars; this series is finally starting to improve for me and I’m so happy!)
Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl (5 stars; I loved this book so so much I’m so glad I finally finished it after 2 months of having it on hold)
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne (3 stars; I didn’t really enjoy this much as expected, it definitely has issues that I’m surprised aren’t discussed more like how violent their relationship is before sex ? The MC genuinely thinks she’s going to get murdered by the LI at first)
The Walking Dead Volume 1 by Robert Kirkman (3.5 stars; after putting this down before I’m so happy I ended up enjoying it!)
Wait For It by Mariana Zapata (3 stars; in terms of more problematic material, this is definitely Zapata’s best. I do still think she has pacing issues though, and her sex scenes are so badly written I cringe every time I read one)
Sunstone Volume 1 by Stjepan Šejić (4 stars; another really great read; the art is beautiful, characters are so fleshed out already, and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes!)
AND MY APRIL TBR JAR PICK ISSSSSS……………………………………….
IT ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES by Holly Bourne! One of the picks Annie made for me in my ‘Best Friend picks my TBR’ post!
ESSAYS/ARTICLES I READ THIS MONTH
Chubby Rat Gets Stuck in a Manhole: this is the only piece of literature that has ever mattered to me
Authors voice alarm after sharp drop in sales of YA fiction: a very solemn and worrying piece, but I’m hoping the conversation this brought up will continue and this is something UKYA publishers and readers alike can work on to improve the sales and keep YA sales in the UK alive!
When words fail: A possible interpretation of Isabella’s silence in Measure for Measure: This is a response to Isabella’s silence at the end of Measure for Measure, which I read this month. I think it has a tragic ending for Isabella, honestly, and this is a really great interpretation of that scene
The Gay Love Stories of Moomin and the Queer Radicality of Tove Jansson: I can’t be the only person to have noticed the sudden influx of Moomin hype on Twitter, and I am digging it. Reading this is fascinating, and I think it’s incredible how much of Jansson’s life and experience as a queer woman can be seen in Moomin!
Openly gay pro strongman Rob Kearney marries his boyfriend: I will love and support gay athletes till the day I die. This article is so cute.
The Night Country: Melissa Albert previews her next Hazel Wood novel: The Hazel Wood was one of my favourite novels of 2018, so the sequel coming out so quickly is an absolute treat. This has the cover release- American, unfortunately, so I still have no clue what the UK cover will bring- but it does have the first chapter! I love and adore Sophia Snow and I cannot wait to have a new book girlfriend!
TV SHOWS/MOVIES/VIDEOS I WATCHED
Ryan Hollinger’s video on the horror of Coraline. Coraline is one of my favourite animated films, I’ve watched it so many times, and I love seeing people’s analysis of it!
I went on a bit of a Ryan Hollinger kick this month and also watched his Texas Chainsaw Massacre video where he analyses the presence of daylight in the film, unconventional in the horror genre
Karate Chopsticks plays a lot of Professor Layton games, so when I have some downtime where I just want to relax I’ve been watching him!
I watched a video on How Guillermo del Toro deals with trauma in his films that I found fascinating! It specifically talks about The Devil’s Backbone and Pan’s Labyrinth 
With my friend Zara, I started the K-Drama BOYS OVER FLOWERS, which I’m honestly loving. It has some issues, but it’s basically a staple k-drama and I’m loving watching it and talking about it with her
MUSIC I’VE BEEN ENJOYING
Sucker by Jonas Brothers [I never really cared about these guys coming back but I’m glad they did, this is a really neat song]
SOS by Jonas Brothers
Big Time Rush by Big Time Rush [a TUNE]
Just in general I’ve really been enjoying The Band CAMINO, my favourite song by them is definitely Daphne Blue!
REVIEWS I POSTED
In Other Lands
Heartstopper
Starry Eyes
Four Film Reviews: The Village, Holes, Stardust, 13 Going on 30
Netflix Thriller Reviews
Three Manga Reviews: After the Rain Vol 1, RWBY Vol 1, Sweet Blue Flowers
OTHER POSTS I MADE
Music Monday: Music I’ve Listened to Lately
Graphic Recommendations #1: Contemporary 
Top Ten Tuesday: Standalones that Need a Sequel
Top Ten Tuesday: My Best Friend Picks My Spring TBR!
Top Ten Tuesday: Books that Should be Podcasts
Currently Reading #1
My Study Positive April Announcement!
March Wrap Up & April TBR Jar Pick Another month, another wrap up. My second year of University is finished, basically. I've submitted my dissertation proposal, am in the middle of all my essays due end of April/early May, and have a new flat for third year.
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