#i swear i have a problem with understanding song lyrics

[unized-3]

Y'ALL YOU KNOW THAT BIT AT THE START OF ONE OF THE DRUNKS? WELL I CAN ONLY HEAR 'DOUGH, WHERE'S THE SAUCE' OVER AND OVER SEND HELP

[cemeteryvalentine]

astro observations part 4 !!! ^____^

(specifically based off my family :3 pleaseee don't get offended at anything that doesn't resonate)

🗝️: one thing about a sag placement, they are gonna hang up FIRST !!! i swear, if anyone misses flip phones, it's a sag placement/dominant. i just know they miss snapping that phone shut in a petty manner LOL. my mom is a sag moon AND rising, and she'd call me and demand me to do something in such a bitchy tone and then hang up on me like girl who tf do u think u areee 😭😭😭😭 LMFAO. but honestly good for her, i love being petty like her.

like i swear i take after my mom because everytime she does that annoying hang up before i can respond thing, i call her again just to say a snarky remark, and hang up on her back!

🐇: i swear, virgo placements have no problem being the grossest people alive, but suddenly it's a problem when someone else does it :/// it's really annoying. my brother has a pigsty of a bedroom, doesn't wash his hand when he pisses unless i make him, and leaves his trash everywhere, but constantly gets on my sister for the same things 😭. like the calls coming from inside the house !!! i think basically, (some) virgos are like picky(?) with what areas they'd want clean. like they're only really comfortable with THEIR mess and no one else's.

🗝️: i love how pisces mercury communicate because it's like what the hel are u awn about 😭 in the NICEST way though :3 they're so kewl and interesting to talk to, plus they're so nice and understanding. maybe because they're water mercuries after all. speaking of, my favorite artist ever kurt cobain was a pisces mercury and it SHOWSSS. a lot of nirvana lyrics feel artistic and metaphoric, or just realllyyyy silly. liiike "angel left wing, right wing, broken wing. lack of iron and or sleeping" from milk it, one of my nirvana faves. and "i vomit C*M and DIARRHEA". like girl whatever that means !!!! (song, mexican seafood)

🐇: mars influence on the asc makes for prominent features. especially eyebrows. my brother has an aries rising and he has such a bad case of RBF. i swear he never looks happy 😭 his virgo sun and cap moon definitely don't help at all either. then im a mars rising and i have big eyebrows like my brother. like we're the only ones with big eyebrows, while our parents brows look invisible LOL. also i'm a virgo rising !! and ppl are always saying i look mad which honestly pisses me off :P so in conclusion, mars influence + virgo placements = major rbf

🗝️: i HATE to add on to the cancer hate train since i'm one myself and i loveee being one + we get soo much hate, but i feel a (unevolvled) cancer makes for the worst pick me girl ever !!!! this def doesn't apply to all cancers, but the few cancer women i know can be so mean to other women so unprovoked. especially my mom, it gives me the ick when she calls random women b*tches or makes fun of them to me for their features or success or soemthing. i used to be a pick me too up until i was like 13 (im soooo happy i grew out of that mess QUICK!). i would constantly strive for male attention, it was embarrassing 😭. ik another girl who values her shitty boyfriend over her (girl) friends and i haaate it. like ive only known a few cancer women, but a lot of them are like the meanest pick me bitch ever, or such a sweeet, caring soul :). i feel like being a pick me stems from cancers being feminine AND traditional. yk? i pray i make sense, but yk how it's traditional for girls to be perfect for her man, and value him no matter the circumstance ?? and cancer/moon being **traditional** ? yeahhh 😭

anywayzzz that's all :3 tyyy for reading !! i had sm making a new observations, considering it's been a year since my last LMFAOO. and again, if it doesn't apply, let it fly. ty bye ^__^

[3lliesan]

"Yandere x reader twst characters!" "Yandere first years!"

No, I just want a twst au where the first years decide to test how far they can go with insanity with how many horrors they deal with in one school year. Yuu included.

Yuu should act like the leader they were meant to be instead of being just a background piece.

Ace may not have a UM of his own and constantly gets underestimated, but knows how to put his wits and misdirection to good use.

Deuce may be slow when it comes to learning new things and is trying his best to be an honor student to make his mom proud... But he now knows that an honor student doesn't have some other qualities of his and that it can help him in more ways than one.

Jack may be a person who follows his principles well, but maybe, a little bit of personal justice wouldn't hurt. Especially when it comes to his pack.

Epel isn't going back to his old days, he swears! Even if it is tempting sometimes. But ever since he finally started to understand what Vil meant after that conversation with Deuce from VDC, as well as some tips from Yuu... Playing the "poison apple" is quite satisfying once he got used to self-restraint.

Ortho might act optimistic and innocent most of the time because his personality was set to be that of a child, but he's also... very overprotective of those he considers family. He's constantly learning more about the world around him, which also extends to the people he surrounds himself with! So, he shouldn't have much of a problem with... terminating threats to those he cares about. The line between right and wrong is blurry in NRC, after all!

Of course, there's nothing like murder or anything like that!... But the psychological damage/reputation/injuries are enough to scar anyone who goes far enough to do anything funny is quite... unfortunate.

The best-case scenario is when you get spooked enough as a warning! But I don't recommend trying again though. :D

You don't want to be one of the people who are foolish enough to do the same despite having a clear mind, unlike those who Overblotted, do you?

I may or may have not randomly written this after remembering the english lyrics to this song exist.

[nom-nommmm1]

EURONYMOUS - ONE SHOTS

Masterlist for more !!

A/n: this is just something small while I work on my request pls be patient with me :(

Content warning !!: it’s all just fluff and some swearing

Euro tries to act tough in front of the guys but when he’s only with you he is the sweetest little thing ever

He totally keeps snacks EVERYWHERE “just in case” idk why I think he does that buttt he does in my mind

If you have a different native language than him he will totally learn the basics of it, like I love you, good morning, hello, goodbye

He isn’t a huge fan of cuddling but he knows you like it so he cuddles as much as he can with you

In public he stays a little ways away from you, but when you get closer to him he always has his hands on your shoulders, arms, waist, always.

SHOULDER KISSES.

When he’s in public he will be going behind you and hold you by the waist whilst kissing your shoulder softly

He’s absolutely whipped for you and tried his best to hide it from the guys because it wasn’t “metal of him”

Even before you guys were even a thing, before you even met Euronymous he would stare when you came to one of his friends parties. Of course his friends noticed and told him to shoot his shot

You guys love to play pranks/jokes on your friends, like just trick them to think something

Very mischievous duo, you two

You’d tell Faust that there was going to be a party in downtown but when he got there he went into the quiet house, all he found was a note that read ‘thanks for being gullible, we love ya - Euro & y/n’

Stupid pranks like that

Now Euronymous is very big on the metal scene but I think if you had different style then him but the same music taste as him he’d be very interested in you, he’d watch you (not in a creepy way) he just wants to understand your style more.

If you had the same style and music as him he’d love it too. He’d rant to you about “the bullshit some people in the scene call music” and all of his work problems

Euronymous wakes up very late every single day, and when he does so he just keeps you in bed with him, almost suffocating you while you’re just trying to get up and go to work.

I think the first few weeks of the relationship Euronymous would’ve been cold, not because he didn’t like you but he was afraid he’d mess up by opening up and you’d leave him just like that.

But when he realized you would never leave him he clung onto you for dear life

He loves movie dates. I feel like he’s super anxious around even though you’re his partner he gets very conscious of what he says around you, and movie dates are perfect because you can exchange very little words to each other but still sit in comfortable silence and enjoy each others presence

I think he also counts cleaning his shop every once in a while with you a date. You guys just cleaning for hours together.

You sigh, you’d been scrubbing the floors of Euros shop for hours. “You ready to get out of here babe?” He asks coming over to you once he’d finished reorganizing all of the records in the shelf’s and setting up with display. You stand up before turning to face him “yea let’s go” he brushes a stray hair out of your face as you hand him his keys. You guys lock up and head off to your house for some movie watching and giving over some lyrics he had thought would be good for a song.

Speaking of lyrics for a song, he always makes you read and listen to his song before he puts it out to the public. He trusts your judgment more than his own when it comes to music.

He has a special blanket he puts on his bed everytime you come over because he knows it’s your favorite.

You give this man stuffed animals? Yeah he keeps them on his bed, his shelf’s for decor? You name it he’s got it there. He loves to stare at them and just think of you.

OBSESSED WITH DRIVING YOU AROUND.

Especially at night, this man doesn’t care if you’re going to a club or Walmart to get something to make a midnight snake he LOVES it. He loves just being there with you making casual conversation while having his hand gently placed on your thigh.

If you get insecure about yourself when you put your hair up he will put his hair up like yours and keep it that way till you take yours down.

He adores matching with you, so you guys basically do it everyday, even it’s just something little like having the same slayer pin on your shirts. He loves it so much

He loves rubbing his fingers along your knuckles, it’s almost like a nervous tic he does. In public when he gets overwhelmed while holding your hand he’ll just sit there and play with your hand until you guys have to let go

He loves eating meals you cook bc it makes him feel proud that one day his children will have you as a parent

If your not happy he’s not happy, he can’t be happy when your suffering because his whole life basically revolves around you

Thank you for reading !! :)

Enjoy!

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Hey. This might be very stupid, but i hope you answer this.

Today I accidently got sucked into your blog, which is ironic since I'm a huge swiftie. (but I'm not here to hate on you, I swear)

The thing is for months I've been doubting where I stand on that. Like if i should call myself a swifte or not. when I was young, I used to worship the ground she walked on. but in the past year, I've slowly realised I've been very sheltered. like the problems people point out about her sometimes are actual real problems, but my brain just doesn't know how to respond to that as it has been taught taylor swift is a goddess and can do no wrong. Since your posts are tagged with #exswiftie, i figure you'd understand.

I am not from america, so I can understand then politics part of it all only to a certian extend. the other things, I just dont know what to say to that. The most i can reply is..."yes that is a bit of a problem". I feel don't feel like a swiftie at that moment.

I had fed my mind this narrative that people who hate taylor swift passionately are like untrustworthy or just a walking red flag, or just "don't get it". Now after reading your actual breakdowns I understand you have a rather educated opinion and perception of things. Which clearly rules out my narrative.

I don't know what I feel like I have to define where I stand on this, I just do. I know I genuinely enjoy her music a lot, even there are songs I don't want to hear more than once. I love the whole swiftie lore, digging deep on each lyrics finding out what they mean, finding clues easter eggs just losing my mind over surprise songs. Then i see this other side, which can't be defined with anything less than deeply toxic, which makes me question whether or not this thing i love so much is genuinely good or not.

Hello dear, apologies for the delay in reply :) I am happy to chat with you. I hope that you did not think I would ignore you.  

I was also a Swiftie for nearly 15 years. I got her debut record as a Christmas present in 2006 or 2007. Though I cannot remember which year it was, I loved her from the start. At 10 years old, I was immediately interested. My mother approved of me owning her music simply because she was inoffensive. She didn’t curse or talk about sex, in the beginning, so she was deemed appropriated for my childhood self.  She and I have since grown up. She is now a terribly pretentious bully- and, well, I grew up much too poor and much too hungry to turn into a bully like her. 

The problem- and something I think you’re very much aware of- is that Swift has built herself up in her fandom as perfect. She encourages fans to defend her every action- and rewards them for their efforts through “Swiftmas” or “Secret Sessions” or “hidden easter eggs that only the smartest- most dedicated fans will figure out.” It’s all methodically calculated to keep up an air of reciprocity between Swift, as the fearless leader, and her band of merry misfits- the fans.  

You are not dumb for falling into her rhetorical situation - she's set the marketing strategy up on purpose. It’s specifically created to attract attention- and, to make people feel good, or productive, by participating in her marketing strategy. She gives people an image of herself as a poor innocent victim of the media, or of any critique, and then rewards people for defending her. In Literary study, we call this “Pathos” as the rhetorical appeal to emotion through messaging- textual work of some kind. Rhetoric like this can be found in all sorts of media- commercials about starving children or beaten dogs, charity event banners aiming to persuade someone to donate. It’s all predicated on the appeal to our common emotion, or human capacity to empathize with each other. For, every time fans are rewarded by her attention- after defending her from a perceived enemy, or figuring out some hidden clue- they feel closer to the idol, they feel happy to have her attention. They get that emotional impact of believing they are helping Taylor Swift, or understanding her better on some more human, connected, level. It’s a game of risk and reward for her. Never mind that none of this altruistic- she gets paid through our attention on her- and if you are not directly lining her pockets with your cash money, she does not actually care about you. It’s the image of caring she projects that matters much more than the fact that she doesn’t actually care.

I’m sure you can think of many more examples wherein Swift has played this game of attention and reward with fans. It’s everywhere- her easter eggs are a great example. Sometimes her use of Pathos is benign- non malicious, therefore a non-issue. However, she often weaponizes this rhetoric in a way that is harmful.

This interplay she sets up, between herself and her fans, is made more intensive through her pathos- heavy approach to Rhetoric. To further illustrate, one of the ways people often explain Pathos is by saying that it represents our, as human beings, judgement affect. We see, or hear, the narrative Swift espouses and make judgements about it. If she says: The music critics are sexist towards me. We say: 1.) Sexism is morally wrong, 2.) Taylor Swift is facing sexism from Music critics, Therefore.) The music critics are sexist and morally wrong, because they are criticizing Taylor Swift.

So, all the critics are bad- and we don't need to listen to them. It's also a way Swift creates permissive attitudes towards attacking anyone who critique's her- because she can so easily label them all as sexist.

She uses this basic syllogism to justify leveraging her fans against all kinds of people- it's not just the critics. I just wanted to give a concrete example, and I will go more in depth on this subject in another post.  

She is playing with people’s emotions, while she is also self-victimizing,and leveraging her audience’s innate human rejection of, for instance, sexism as it offends our personal values. No one is saying that sexism isn't morally corrupt; however, Taylor Swift points to valid criticism and calls it sexism so that her audience will attack. People often have valid critique of Swift- She just doesn't want to face critique at all- ever. If people say her music is too self-centered- Swift says that is Sexism. If people say her music is boring- she calls it sexism. If people say her music is shallow and only centered are relationships- She calls it sexism. When, in reality, it's valid criticism that has nothing to do with her being a woman. Only ever writing songs about your own myopic, self-centered perception of interpersonal relationships is shallow. Her music is objectively boring, because it's derivative. Her music is completely self-centered- and she only admits to that when it benefits her, but when critics say it, she calls it sexism.

Please don’t think badly of yourself. I am not here to hate on you either- I was you. I am not here to hate on anyone at all- I just want to share how my own knowledge, and expertise, of rhetorical appeals and literary analysis can expose Taylor Swift. Swift relies on this rhetorical technique to thrive, she obfuscates the truth, schemes, and manipulates people into thinking her music is the best thing on Earth- or thinking that she is literally a Saint. Clearly- nothing on Earth is that perfect- So why does she need her fan base to consider her a genius, and a saint, so badly?

Personally, I have no problem admitting I have flaws. I think most sane people can admit to their flaws. It’s not a bad thing to have flaws. So why does Taylor Swift react to all criticism like it’s the worst thing on Earth. Why does she have a whole song about calling critics “mean/ and a liar/ and pathetic/ and alone in life” (“Mean” 2010). She has the nerve to call that song an “anti-bullying” song; yet, is it so clearly bullying that random critic who wrote a bad review about her concert one time in 2009? She really hated that guy- and all he was doing was his job. She called him a drunken loser for just doing his job. 

She's written so many songs about how all her critics are just stupid, morally corrupt, or sexist: "The Man" (2019), "Mean" (2010), "But Daddy I love Him" (2024), "New Romantics" (2014), "Shake it Off" (2014), "I know Places" (2014), "Anti-Hero" (2023), "Paris" (2023), "Blank Space" (2014), "I did something Bad" (2018), "Dancing with our hands tied" (2018). There are more songs wherein she carries this theme of "everyone is out to get me, and they all hate me for no good reason" but I think I've listed enough.

The general message is all over "Evermore" and "Folklore" too every time she calls the general public "Clowns" or "masqueraders"

It's just everywhere- her subtle devaluation of legitimate criticism. Trying to chalk it all up to the critics being simply dumb, sexist, or malicious in some way. Perhaps some people are mean- true- but to generalize every criticism as evil? That's just her actually playing a victim card. There's no way every single critic, or person who doesn't like her, is evil, bad, or malicious in some way. Okay?

I’m tired of her claiming to be an amazing person and an amazing poet- when she is just not either of those things. She’s not a kind person- it's all over her music in the ways she maliciously hurts people for fun. She’s not an amazing poet either. I have a few college degrees- and one pass through her work, with a serious intention of literary analysis, I discover that her writing is plain, banal, and derivative. 

She wants everyone to compare her to Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas, and Shakespeare. So, I’m doing what she wants and taking her work seriously enough to critique it. Except that, in critique, I find out why it’s all poorly written- and why it’s just a bunch of thinly veiled conservative iterations of the same boring message over and over. All she ever says in her music is “poor me” and “I hate” (insert person- Kim K., Kanye, Matty, Joe, Jake, John, Scooter, Scott, Harry, Calvin, the media at large, anyone who critiques her, and men in the music industry as a whole). She has the longest list of enemies I think I’ve ever seen- and the funny thing is that all these people avoid her at all costs. None of these people talk about her- yet she is still singing, writing songs, and getting her fans to post memes about how awful they are years, even decades, later.  

It all gets a bit tiresome? No? Personally, I don’t wish to live a life full of such self-pity and hatred- so why should I listen to it in music form? Ya know?  

In my posts, I am attempting to find the truth. I don’t want to “hate” on anyone or anything- but I am going to seek truth in her work.  

I will be posting more about how she devoids Shakespeare of his social reformist efforts. I’m going to post more about how she twists the meaning of every literary reference she’s ever made. I am not kidding, she has misrepresented, and misinterpreted every single literary reference in her entire discography. It’s astounding how hard Swift tries to sound thoughtful- without actually being thoughtful. I will be posting about how she only ever name-drops to either tear other people down or self-depreciate herself in effort to seek pity. I will be talking more about her use of rhetorical appeals to both attract an audience, keep their attention through risk-reward trade-off, and manipulate them into fighting her battles for her. I will be talking about how she upholds a bunch of harmful stereotypes in her music. She often alludes, or blatantly includes allusion to colonialist attitudes. She’s used the LGBT community for profit without making any real activist efforts. She’s leveraged feminism like a weapon against other women- yet never actually has feminist themes in her music. She’s just so painfully hollow- upon closer inspection.  

I don’t hate her as a person. I think she’s unethical, sure, but that doesn’t mean I hate her, want her to die, or anything extreme at all. I would never wish harm to another human being. In fact, after seeing a lot of the harmful stuff in her music, especially about her kind of fucked up views on relationships, I sincerely hope she gets some professional help and finds some peace in this world. When I critique Taylor Swift it’s about her work and her brand- It's not about her personhood.  

I just think that no one Earth is above reproach, or critique, and we must all be held accountable for our own actions. She’s the one that puts her work out there for people- It's therefore completely appropriate for me to discuss her work. 

Edit: Oh and I want to add- I wish you luck in figuring out what you really think about Taylor Swift. If you ever need to talk or vent more- my inbox is always open. :) With peace and love- bye bye

[humblequestvinyl]

just married

JUST MARRIED, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE 'ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT' SERIES

SUMMARY: after leaving LA, y/n flies to nashville, reflecting on her marriage with eddie, staring at the pictures of the two on their wedding day, wondering how they went from love, to just married.

inspired by just married by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase intentional! wc: 1.07k

warning: mentions of sex (no smut), divorce, swearing, marriage problems, brief alcohol mention.

a/n: THIS IS SO SHORT I AM SO SORRY BUUUT! i am so excited about this series, and im SO SO SO excited to write the next chapter !!! 

“SO YOU AND EDDIE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE BECAUSE HE WAS COMING HOME LATE?”

“i’m sure that there was a good reason for the fact that he was coming home late. there has to be.”buck tried to reason with the girl, and she shook her head slightly as she fixed the glasses that were on top of her head, “you two could’ve worked that out!”

“it was more than that buck.”she whispered, trying everything she could not to cry, “there was more than just that buck, we haven’t been on the same page for years.”

“y/n, you and eddie are the only thing that makes sense in my life. if the two of you break up, nothing in this world makes sense.”buck stressed, and y/n stood in front of him, with her hands shaking.

“buck the only reason i’m in LA is to sign the divorce papers. our marriage started to fall apart years ago.”she tried to tell him, but buck couldn’t accept it, “it started 10 months after we got married.”

—

(ONE MONTH BEFORE.)

“I WROTE A NEW SONG.”

y/n announced as she sat down with her producer brynn, who gave the girl a look as the h/c girl sat on the floor of the studio,  “i was looking at the old wedding pictures i had up in the apartment last night and started writing.”

“what’s the lyrics?”brynn questioned, before y/n pulled out her phone, and opened up her notes app, grabbing the lyrics.

“i don’t think i lied when i said i wanted that life.”she started, tapping her fingers against the ground, with her wedding band still in plain view, “maybe i was too young to understand what i wanted at all.”

“but baby it was true, with all that i knew, it felt like forever that december two.”she went on, not daring to glance up, knowing her bloodshot eyes would give away everything, “a fairytale start, with us crossing our hearts, we rode off in a car that said “just married.””

she stopped herself after the first verse, before clearing her throat and pushing her beanie down on her head more, “the rest of the lyrics are a bit rough and have to be cleaned up if we’re able to do that today.”

“yeah of course.”brynn nodded, before grabbing out a notebook and a pen, helping the girl fix up the lyrics, before they had quickly moved onto creating a sound, one that reminded the h/c girl of a wedding song.

“i don’t know what i’m supposed to do with my wedding dress now.”y/n’s voice rasped as they took a little break, and brynn looked at the girl with such sadness in her eyes, knowing exactly what the girl was going through.

“if you do anything with this song, either releasing it as a single or even have a music video for it, wear your dress in it.”brynn suggested, and the singer shrugged, picking at the rug of the studio floor, “it’s a gorgeous dress, and you can create better memories with it.”

“i feel bad about wanting out knowing chris is going to get caught in the middle of all of this.”she whispered, feeling tears threatening to spill as she thought about the boy who she adored, “i just couldn’t stay there any longer. i couldn’t continue killing myself over a marriage that was one-sided.”

“and you shouldn’t have to.”brynn reassured the girl, grabbing her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze, “in this instance, you have to put yourself first, and if leaving is the solution, then so be it.”

“chris will forgive you.”brynn told her, causing y/n to look up at her, “i’ve met the kid. he will forgive you.”

after a bit, y/n got up wordlessly and walked into the studio with the notebook, giving it one shot to sing the entire song without crying, which is something she hadn’t been able to do yet. once she got through the first part of the song, she looked up at brynn who gave her a reassuring smile.

“long distance text, make-up-for-time sex, tired of asking when i’ll see you next.”she sang, with flashes of memories from when she would constantly text eddie, asking when she would be able to see him next, the endless booked flights that he constantly missed to go and see her, “i’m too mad to fight, so i’ll stare and cry at the picture of you, and me wearing white.”

“just married.”

“but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and keeping our problems buried.”she went on, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces, just like a plate would after it had been dropped onto the ground, “no i wasn’t strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight i carried.”

“yeah it was love, then it was just married.”

flashes of her wedding went through her mind, with the vivid taste of veuve they had drank as their celebratory drink on her taste buds. their vows ringing through her mind, always promising to stick by each other throughout everything.

everything little memory of the past five years tainted from her soon to be ex husband, and every little thing they had done together.

“but dammit i wish i wasn’t this ready, to undo i do.”she paused, swallowing hard, knowing she had one more verse left before she was finished with the song, “but i wasn’t made for fixing a plate, and getting divorced sounds scary.”

“but i’m just not strong enough to hold on, with all of the weight that i carried.”she admitted, playing with the strings of her hoodie, knowing she was at the finish line, “yeah it was love, it really was.”

“then it was just married.”

[noys-boise]

very interested in hearing more about hungarian rent!!! were there any notable bits you liked about it? id love to see rent performed one day, so jealous!

this is probably gonna be long I'm sorry but I've been wanting to rant (pun not intended) about this since sunday

so first of all i feel like i should mention this isn't the first time there's been a hungarian production of rent. they did a run in 2003, which even got a cast recording, it just simply wasn't? very good? like i wasn't even born yet so i didn't see it but I've listened to the songs and the translations ranged from fine to just straight up atrocious and questionable (such as accidentally implying that Mimi thinks her dad has hot hands and almost completely removing the love part of seasons of love which feels like it would be the entire point??) i think most of the problems stemmed from a random older hungarian guy doing the translations. i doubt that man was qualified for a show like rent in anyway

but flash forward to 2024. the redemption. the miracle. on december 14th and december 15th, they performed rent in hungarian for the first time in over a decade and i happened to be there on the latter of the two performances (important to mention hungarian theatres will not play a show every day, you have to check for specific dates so it's normal that they only performed it twice so far)

I was completely blown away. it felt like it was done by people who fully understand what rent is. I couldn't even tell you one favorite part so I'm just going to praise this show for several paragraphs now.

first of all, my biggest issue with the first attempt at hungarian rent and my biggest issue with most hungarian shows: the translation. i never thought I'd hear a hungarian translation of a musical i love, let alone of RENT of all things, but i swear i don't have a single lyric to complain about. notably, the translator, Cseh Dávid Péter, also played Roger. btw something i loved is a lot of background workers such as the set designer and social media manager and etc were also in the ensemble, but the moment i found out Cseh Dávid Péter translated the entire show, after seeing his performance as Roger REALLY surprised me because by the way he's also a phenomenal actor and an even better singer. My mouth was literally agape during One song glory without exaggaration.

but I don't want to praise just him even though he quickly became one of my favorite actors I'm not going to lie, the entire cast was great. extra shoutout to Ekanem Bálint and Pásztor Ádám for the sheer amount of Collins-Angel chemistry they had because i swear, Collins was doing literal heart eyes anytime he looked at Angel it's SO adorable. I also want to mention that in an extreme white majority country they still managed to find a Black actor to play Collins and he was perfect, so I find that very cool, I never see actors of color in hungarian theatre normally. okay maybe one nitpick i have with the cast, Joanne's actress (can't remember her name rn) didn't quite hit all the high notes which left me a tiny bit underwhelmed but that's maybe because I love Tracie Thoms so much I don't think anyone will live up to her for me.

okay so here's some truly random bits that stuck with me:

Mimi cat coding has always been a big part of rent for me but in this had Maureen dog coding, which i guess there's a bit of in the original at the beginning of act 2 but this translation had more of that. like in tango Maureen, they call her a dog that's salivating for the bone as a metaphor for her promiscuity

I cannot stop thinking of this bit of costume design, after Angel's death, Roger was wearing a shirt that said "I believe in angels"

in contact, the last thing Angel does while dying is reach out for Roger and Mimi's hands and unites them

this isn't really a fun fact within the show itself, more just about it, but Gadó Anita and Cseh Dávid Péter, who played Mimi and Roger, are together in real life, which i think is really cool

when Roger plays his guitar in La vie boheme, instead of saying "that doesn't remind us of Musetta's waltz" Mark says "Puccini is rolling in his grave" which i found funny

i can't really think of more to add right now but yeagh hungarian rent good 👍👍👍 and it's really special that they even could do this show in hungary, given the current political climate around lgbt+ representation in media. they did an amazing job though, none of it felt toned down or censored at all, the lyrics were also as direct as in the original, it felt great

[hlficlibrary]

Hello, do you know some fics where they are pretending to be someone else? Could be anything for example:

one is famous and pretends to be someone normal, or Liam is texting with someone but doesn’t know what to say and then the other one helps and keep texting with them….

Hope you have some good ones and that you could understand what I meant hahah felt like it’s hard to explain but if you didn’t get what I mean no problem just recommend me some stories that you think will fit. Thank you so much!! :)

Hi, anon! I know exactly what you mean! Here are some fics that fit what you're looking for!

Your secret's safe with me by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

He knew almost everything about Haz, considered him his best friend. He knew his favourite movies and books, how he liked his coffee, knew how many pets he had and what he was most afraid of. Louis knew how to calm him down when he was panicking, and that he’d lost his virginity to his ex-boyfriend when he was 17. He knew that Haz had curly hair, green eyes, that he was tall and considered himself slightly awkward. He knew his Instagram account that only had aesthetic pictures or ridiculous jokes, but in the all the time that Louis had known him, he’d never learnt, or been allowed to know, Haz’s full name, what he sounded like, or what he looked like.

Louis didn't care.

Or, when Louis' favourite singer comes back and announces he's performing again, him and the rest of his group chat decide to go. When Haz, the man Louis' fallen in love with without meeting him, says that he can't, Louis tries his best to convince him with a drunken phone call, hearing his voice for the first time. It's not until he's at Royal Variety that he swears he can hear it again.

Life Was a Song, You Came Along by rainbowninja167 / @rainbowtitania

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them.   It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.  

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain.

Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren

Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha

[jadewing-realms]

on a moonlit stage - astarion oneshot

surpriiissseee i wrote another thing!

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Title: On A Moonlit Stage

Characters: Astarion; Naven Tlin'orzza/Tav

Pairing: Astarion x Tav

Word Count: 2636

It’s a tale as old as time: salacious vampire meets gullible fool. Astarion knows the script backwards and forwards, but he swears on everything he knows this is going to be the last time. The last time he grovels at someone else’s feet. The last time he bows. It’s for his own protection, he tells himself. It’s insurance. The fact that the drow bard is frustratingly handsome as he is naive is an afterthought.

TW: allusions to sexual themes and SA

_______________

There was something uncomfortable, heavy, dense, settling in the pit of Astarion’s stomach. It was miserably distracting. It didn’t seem to matter how many gulps the vampire took of the tart, chalky excuse for red wine that the devilkin had proffered as party favors, it didn’t – couldn’t – drown out that cursed feeling. Instead, all it served to do was add to it and sour his mood even more.

Oh, he kept it from his face of course, as was expected. He froze his practiced mask in place, grinned when appropriate, nodded, winked, and gave theatrical bows to the stream of people who were determined to thank the entire party for the great, selfless work they had done. The goblins were vanquished! The Grove saved! So many cheery faces. So many boisterous voices and empty words, so much bad wine and tasteless food.

‘Our heroes,’ they kept calling them all. ‘Courageous.’ ‘Warriors.’ ‘Right decent folk.’ It made him want to spit their peasant liquor at their feet. 

Ignoble fools, all of them. Heroes didn’t exist, and if they did, this group of freaks certainly weren’t them. Only Wyll – local hero as he was – had truly wanted to help these people; the rest wanted only the kidnapped healer’s skills; saving the tieflings was a convenient bonus. Astarion hadn’t even cared about that, set as most of the party was on getting rid of their little cranial stowaways rather than using them, common sense be damned.

Nobody else seemed to have any problem accepting the shallow jubilance and praise, either. Least of all their new permanent companion, Karlach, who was beaming bright as the bonfire. The red tiefling made up for her inability to mingle without roasting the skin off anyone unfortunate enough to bump her arm by shouting her greetings, waving high, laughing low and loud; and when their illustrious leader – that arrogant, guileless sucker that was drow bard extraordinaire, Naven fucking Tlin’orzza – whipped out his lute and strummed up a jaunty little tune for the mood, Karlach trumpeted the lyrics louder than everyone else. Astarion was sure he heard the frantic flutter of feathered wings as it set alight a few poor evening doves roosting in the trees. 

The whole affair was as sickly and saccharine as the bottle he nursed. Perhaps Wyll had the right idea, wandering off to the riverbank as he had; perhaps Astarion could simply steal away. Go on a hunt. Get something out of the night. 

The thought reminded him that he’d already made previous arrangements for the hours to come. Plans with the aforementioned drow. He almost grimaced past the next draught of wine.

Gods, he’d be glad when the whole song and dance was over. The drow was insufferable, naive as he was aloof, painfully polite, and a terrible conversationalist unless there was an audience to entertain. He also got along far too well with their resident wizard of hubris for comfort, and the two engaged in regular pontifications that went on for far too long and contained far too many obscure terms no one else could understand. He was also constantly sticking his nose into everyone else’s business, asking about their lives and histories and secrets…

On top of it all, he was either a liar and a charlatan equal to any of Cazador’s best thugs, or he genuinely believed in the do-gooder bullshit he spouted. Astarion couldn’t decide which was worse at this point. The only positive thing Naven had going for him in Astarion’s book was that he was the only one who seemed interested in taking advantage of the tadpoles in their brains for the power they provided.

Well, and he was easy on the eyes. But that, of course, was a requirement.

It didn’t really matter whether he liked him or not, though. Somehow the drow had wormed his way into everyone else’s trust, despite everything, and that made him the most important person to have on Astarion’s side if he didn’t want to wake up staked to the ground one of these nights. 

It hadn’t taken much; it never did. A few well-spoken words, shallow compliments; a brush of a hand here, a hooded glance there. If he’d done it once, he’d done it a thousand times. Carnal lust was always so easy to invoke, mortal feelings like clay beneath the hands of a skilled artisan. Naven was practically in his pocket at this point and tonight was sure to cement his position nicely. 

Second to the man in charge. An auspicious match indeed. 

Over the rim of the bottle, his gaze slid across camp, to the little ring of bystanders gathered around the music makers. Naven, the court jester tiefling, and even that fool Volo, the music flowed from them, honey on the air. 

They… weren’t half bad. As far as music went. It was no symphony or opera, that was for certain, but they had a folkish charm to them at least. And they stole the attention from everyone else, which gave the odd pit in Astarion’s belly a chance to fade.

Until the drow’s gaze rose to meet his. Golden eyes caught firelight and moonlight both at once, a broad grin split his face through the words he sang, and Astarion almost choked on his drink.

Was that… a smile? A real smile, the first he’d seen on that man’s face? He had to pause, think back, skim his memories from the day they met to the present, and he couldn’t actually recall a single moment he’d seen… that smile. Oh, there’d been little glimpses, quirks of his lips, placating smirks or bewildered half-grins. Never teeth, never so strong it wrinkled the dusky skin at the corners of those eyes. Never something so… radiant.

Gods damn this drow. Of course he would have a gorgeous smile hiding under the pomp and intellect. How infuriatingly unfair! Astarion hadn’t been aware dark elves could smile. 

It lingered, too, as did that burning gaze. For the sake of appearances, Astarion didn’t let himself look away. He shifted his weight, let the lines of his body do the talking, knocked back the bottle and slowly, deliberately downed the last of the liquor, swiped his lip with his thumb once it was gone. All the things he knew would have the drow looking at all the right places.

The smile dimmed to something softer, something… fond. 

He couldn’t be serious. 

A patronizing play, perhaps; Naven had mentioned having been an actor before all this. Astarion had watched him charm his way through a horde of goblins without trouble, behaving by all accounts like these True Souls they couldn’t shut up about, never giving anything away. Every word, every glance, it could be nothing more than an elaborate facade.

They were both playing the same game. But when it all came down to the wire, a vampire would always play it better. If only for the centuries of practice.

Though… he didn’t actually know how old Naven was. The way he behaved, the way he trusted, surely he had to be fresh off his Naming. But then again, there were those creeping lines under those eyes of his, the barest hint of creases striking through the tasteful tattoo on his forehead. It could be age, or it could be… well, grief.

The pit was coming back, and the wine had done absolutely nothing. He shouldn’t have expected anything else. It had been two-hundred years since blessed inebriation came to him from a bottle. He recalled the night he’d drained the bear, the absolute euphoria he felt afterward. What he’d give to engorge himself again now, before his moment came. Before he knelt at the feet of another for the last fucking time, and laid the last nail to the emotional coffin lid. It’d certainly make it easier to get through if he could be drunk as the Hells.

But alas. Would that the gods could be so kind. They weren’t. He could only sling the empty bottle to the side for its personal offense to him, where he didn’t even get the satisfaction of watching it break. It simply rolled across the dirt and clinked to a stop against a stump. He pouted at it for good measure. It did nothing more.

It had to be better if he took his leave now. The party would wind down before long, he wagered. He needed to be in place, ready and waiting, properly alluring, for when his quarry came looking for him. 

He gathered what he knew he would need in a pack. Then, steps composed but quiet, he idled backward, away from his tent, into the treeline. He slipped from the edges of camp without the notice of a single soul and plunged into the darkness beyond the fire’s light. His eyes and light feet, used to the shadows, made entering into them easy as breathing.

The long walk that followed, that was another story entirely. Stumps and dirt and grass and stones made what might’ve been a leisurely stroll into a struggle that no amount of shadow could ease. Roots snagged his boots. Branches clawed at his face. Bloody nature! He grew more and more weary with it each passing day, each night he laid his head on a pack draped in a blanket instead of a pillow. 

He missed proper beds. He missed private baths and locked doors and armchairs. He missed… the city.

The city meant the clan, though. The clan meant Cazador. Cazador meant… He stopped, shaking the creeping memories from his skull. Flashes of blood and bile, hunger pangs, the pitch black of a closed coffin. A ripple of discomfort seared across his back. 

“No! That’s enough of that.” The words left him without permission, murmured to no one but his own mind and the deepening night. He shoved the memories down, down to that blasted pit in his gut. He was far, far from Baldur’s Gate. Far from his reach. He strode deeper into the night, imagining each step as another one further from those long-reaching arms. 

This is mine! All of this. My night. My mind. My choice! No one was ever going to take this away from him, not with freedom in his hands, at long last.

His feet had stopped again, and that wouldn’t do. 

He needed to find a place for tonight. The perfect place. Yes, somewhere properly… romantic. Ideally, in the cradle of two luscious trees, with the moonlight beaming down just so. Mortals did adore when their lovers waxed poetic to them beneath the moon.

Ah… he needed something to say. Just the right thing.

He found a deer path and began to follow it, keeping his steps close together to avoid any sudden obstacles in the gray landscape. The trade-off for the gift of night sight, of course, was that he wouldn’t be able to take color into consideration when picking his spot. But then, neither would a drow. Double negative makes a positive and all that. 

His gaze wandered aimlessly as he went, and he let his mind go with it. “What to say… I’m thinking literary. He seems an educated man.”

Some classics, perhaps. ‘Doubt thou the stars are fire’ sort of thing. Yes, that could do nicely. Everyone loved that one. It had been a while since he recited it, too; he practiced a few stanzas to test the rhythm and rhyme on his tongue and when it didn’t sound quite perfect enough, he tried again. And again, and so forth, until he began to hear the rippling of water nearby.

He’d circled back to the edge of the river, it seemed. Which wasn’t a terrible thing; the serenity of the sound would only add to the desired ambiance. He kept it just out of sight.

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. Something in his gut told him right here… it felt close. Eyes narrowing, he raised a hand, thumb out at an angle like the corner of a frame, and he swiveled across the trees that surrounded him. He needed just the right spot…

There. Two grand oaks standing side by side, framing a small clearing, moonlight streaming down in divine shafts. It was no mansion bedchambers, but it would do.

He winced, immediately regretting the comparison. Now he was thinking of Baldur’s Gate again. Of his service room. Of Cazador.

“This isn’t for you!” he spat to nobody. Skin immediately crawling, he spun a quick circle, just… to make sure. He was alone. “This is for me! Me.”

He raked his fingers into his hair, distracting his mind by making sure not a single strand was out of place. He had to be perfect. Everything had to. Like a dream. When all was said and done, that drow needed to leave this place so enthralled, he couldn’t bear for Astarion to leave his side ever again. Then Astarion would never have to worry about Lae’zel getting a bit stab-happy if he smirked at her wrong, or Wyll living up to his status as a monster hunter if the mood so took him. Not unless they wanted to face the wrath of their beloved man with the plan.

So it was decided. This was the place. He stepped between the two trees, gave one trunk a light pat before he rid himself of his shirt and shoes. The grass was satisfyingly cool beneath his toes. A breeze whispered through the summer leaves and he paused folding his clothes, just to watch them dance.

It… really was a nice spot.

Getting here had been an absolute drag, no doubt; the Great Outdoors were not his natural habitat and never would be, but he couldn’t deny that when he didn’t have to trudge through knee-high brush or duck under rudely low-hanging boughs or wave bugs out of his face or watch for animal scat… well. It was peaceful enough.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This moon felt much kinder than the one he knew before. She was soft. Soothing. The night’s watchful guardian, shining silver just for the bards that might look up and write of her beauty. Or for anyone.

Back in the city, the moon was simply a hollow sun for the likes of him and his ‘siblings.’ They couldn’t have the real thing, so they settled for experiencing a world that was only half what it should be. Add to that the fact that the moon could not penetrate the deep, dark alleyways of the city where vampires best hunted, and it was never a friend of theirs.

Strange, to find it so different now. 

Then again, everything was. Everything except for the scars on his back; his permanent reminder. And he still didn’t know what they said.

Absently, he reached a hand back to trace his fingertips over the raised edges like he’d done countless times. They felt so terribly pronounced, so… ugly. A hideous presence amongst such serene midnight perfection.

Would… Naven notice them?

“Hello?” a distant voice called. Louder than it usually was, but still familiar after traveling together so long. The man himself, come to join him at last. “Astarion, are you… close by?”

Astarion’s hand fled from his back. His stomach seized again and he wished he had wine to pretend to drown it with. He took one last deep breath and the way it stuttered would have made him scowl, were he not already schooling his features into the very picture of debonair charm.

“Over here, darling,” he called back, taking his place behind the tree, readying words in his mind for the moment his companion came into view. “Just a little closer.”

It was time to play his part again.

But the pit never went away.

[goldenpinof]

Hi, Kate! Sorry, this ask might sound somewhat cynical. Is the show really that good? Like is it worth it? I'm having a bit of a faith crisis. By worth it I mean that in order to go to Amsterdam I'm planning a whole 2 week trip to France since the plane tickets cost nearly 1000€ anyway, so I'd rather make the most of it.

But then the trip is turning out to be quite expensive, yet the possibilities of sightseeing are very limited cause it's winter. I'm starting to think that maybe I should just give up on the show and simply visit France in spring. On the other hand I genuinely don't know whether we'll all be dead by spring or not 🫠 There's also like a chance I'll get to see the filming of a cool tv show if I go in February.

I'm fairly certain that I do want to go, it's just a very spontaneous decision and I've never done anything like this and idk whether I'm doing something fun and adventurous or just irresponsibility spending money.

I guess my question is: is the show entertaining/meaningful/funny or just kinda cute? How long is the sister Daniel segment? How long do they spend on phan theories and how wild (without spoilering) are they? All I know is that there's boxing, true or false theories and sister Daniel. Are there any other segments? I know people wouldn't be going to multiple shows if it was mid, but I just need some reassurance.

"just irresponsibly spending money" – me in September 😂 still didn't recover from it.

idk, how to answer this, apart from technical parts.

the Sister Daniel part is about 10 mins, maybe a little bit more. theories... idk how much time, and i don't have it in me to listen to the audio recordings. there are 4 pairs of theories, and the audience chooses 1 from each pair. they spend enough time on every chosen theory, but there are definitely some "fans favourites", hehe, and if people don't get those, it's kinda sad. some of the theories aren't even theories, they just say what we already know for a fact (cowards!).

other segments: doll house with dnp eras; 1 minute yap about what the audience yells; role model or no-le model (that's actually fun! in Europe specifically because of the cultural differences); their monologues (as if we didn't hear enough from Dan during WAD, i swear); the song (this. this alone was worth all my money. i wanna learn the lyrics by Amsterdam; i hope the UK, that is going very hard, learns the dance, and someone films the audience during the song). i don't remember anything else, but those are not all segments.

i can't say if you should or shouldn't go, considering the budget you are planning to spend on the trip. it's definitely gonna be adventurous regardless! but it also depends on what you're looking for from the whole experience (travelling + meeting phannies + buying merch + watching the show + discussing the show afterwards). since i was planning to check all 5 boxes, i had a good experience overall even if it had cost TOO MUCH money and nerves. but it could be worse, let's be honest. i was planning to travel Europe with them since WAD, so i was kinda prepared to go wild. the show itself wasn't my toppest priority, i would have travelled even if it completely sucked ass. i would say, Dan has put more into WAD as a show conceptually, although we didn't appreciate it enough at that time (and i say "we", and i will say it again, and i 100% include myself in this; those who were there will probably understand what i mean). maybe it's the problem of production, maybe – of the intent. i'm not ready to analyse this shit. is this show made better than ii? i wouldn't say so. will you regret missing it if you don't go? PROBABLY. it's all about the audience, you know. it adds so much to the experience. and you can't predict if the audience is gonna be good or bad, but the show is based on interactions, so you will participate in it, and that's the difference you don't wanna miss if we compare it to watching the tape when it comes out. also, tapes are usually polished. the beauty of going to the show is seeing them fucking up and improvising, unexpected things happening and them reacting to it (it doesn't happen on every show, but you can be lucky, you never know).

i'd say try to go. if you're not sure right now, you don't have to buy the ticket today or tomorrow. Amsterdam has enough of them for now (but check it after a few UK dates; the Brits may decide to travel after seeing the show). the show is entertaining for sure. meaningful? if you read too much into it (this is MY opinion). funny? sometimes :)

[xeroscribed]

So, uhhhh...

I broke

Just like that, huh (definitely not typing rn to try and hold myself together 🙃)

I

Hmm

Fuck

Yeah, there have been signs, and [I really should smoke more] it finally came to a head.

"You're making yourself upset?"

"If I'm hearing wrong, I must be senile/I should go and get my hearing checked."

"Oh, so I'm the reason your life is so bad, am I?"

Etc.

Etc.

Sigh

Well [breathes], I understand my tension, my stress, my inactivity

No, it is not all her.

No, I did not tell her this

I'm kinda just finally realising it

This voice I've been fighting, that's been slowly creeping it's way back into the drivers seat with me lacking awareness of how significant the impact

For a few nights running, early this week, I struggled to sleep. Jerking awake as I dozed off at the sudden incomprehensible rage I heard quietly blaring in the back of my mind, as if in real time.

And I've no idea what words were said, or when. Something like a disembodied voice. An echo of a memory of a moment lived so many times over they've blended to one passage of indistinguishable vitriol hurled over decades with reckless abandon. No words to be placed but the undeniable cadence of the maternal howl. [Gone the wonder of why I excel at recognising voices].

.

The agonising pleading with the girl in the mirror, only increasing; I know that you're in there, so why won't you listen?

The constant convincing still so unconvincing

.

The frustration at the name in the bubble of notification. The constant exhaustion. The tension. The waning of patience.

There, you see...

I'm feeling okay.

Breathing somewhat steadily

Declining heart rate.

I'm straight.

So there was a moment. And-

A less evolved version of me would think my ma did it on purpose to force interaction or just to be petty.

Because after days on end of getting it right, she somehow gets it wrong. And gets me. In a gesture way off.

But...

I'm above that line of thinking and it helps me not

Fuck it.

Either way, interaction was had. A question asked. A tone misperceived. A flame thrown back. Which, at this moment - too hot to handle. But I do. Unsteady-like until I catch myself and...

I calmly highlight, yet again, this problem I'm having [we're having, but i digress]

See

Ffs

It's so frustrating

Yes, this is gaslighting.

But being gaslit by a person who doesn't actually understand that they're doing it.

Who is so trauma bound that they would swear blind if anyone were doing the harm it is you.

For being tense like you are. For avoidance. For snapping sometimes. For addressing the issue.

Here. I have to lead with understanding first. I have to moderate her emotions and redirect her to the topic at hand and manage her way of thinking and reiterate my point and do it all calm, don't dare raise your voice and-

Fuck

I have been thinking and writing in this stupid lyrical manner. This sing-song nursery rhyme bullshit.

Last night, for some reason, recollections of past traumas. Of hygiene. Of solitude. Of lessons in abandon.

Things I am still ashamed of.

But wish to speak on. Because there are so many of us. Hidden. Getting by

Getting on. Battling our demons.

Some, like me, still living with them. At least... that's what she thinks. I don't share the opinion.

I said I broke. It was... incredibly emotional and vulnerable and-

You can't show your pain because it's seen as a tool to make them feel guilty and feel like the fool so they flip it back on you without a care what you've said coz it's easier to claim they'd be better of dead than to take a step back and to listen instead.

I heard you I heard you. Then exaggerates context. Exaggerates impact. Inflates the intent and warps it to suit their ego.

.

This is the matter at hand. This is the plainness of speech. This is the intent.

Do not take to heart the things you think that I meant.

Do not ruminate on your past wounds or fears of your failure [the ones I'm beginning to share].

Do not put on me all the harm of past aggressors. Of the attitudes I've shed. Of the fallacies in your head.

.

"Well, I can't help it, can I!?"

I ask you, who can?

If not you than who?

Not seeking apology. Don't want you to feel bad.

Just asking you to see me as I truly am.

See the work I've put in. See the intention within. See the years of the patience and commitment that's been repairing this ship, drawing us closer, trying to establish something vaguely familial.

.

Yet you see me. Villain. Who hates. And spits sin. Who lies and denies you your right to feeling.

.

Here am I sharing this ache in my chest, this knot in my gut, and this pit in my head.

"It's always about what I'm doing to you!".

I've had an ear worm lately: "I need you, too". Still don't know what it means. Don't think I'm meant to. Not ready yet.

.

You ever notice when one has just formed?

"You're upsetting yourself/You're getting yourself upset."

Because everything is always repeated. They want you convinced.

That's the moment I realised the futility of going further. I'd said what I'd said. Clarified. Reiterated. Took my time. Found my patience.

I stopped. Composed myself. Said goodnight.

Again: Please remember the words that I've said. Please do not focus on what you think I meant.

A final attempt to beg. To plead. That she'll hear me this time.

Coz its taking it's toll. On my soul.

Oh yeah, that's the revelation.

See

That voice is winning. My energy waning. My faith fading. My hope withered.

And instead of knowing I'm good and great, I'm trying repetition hoping the thought integrates.

Like it had before.

But I'm battling two voices.

Both equal in strength.

One cultivated by me, with unending resistance.

The other, nurtured and festered inside. The one I seek to hide.

I

Had manage to quell it, pushed it to the side.

I was golden. Confident. I'd finally found pride.

And now both the knowing and the fearing have taken up residence. Battling it out for the number one spot.

And as I look out, I see the crowd forming.

The faces of friends. Some clear as day. Some so distant.

Some I can hear. Some I just get a glimpse of. But what carries through; words of love and peer wisdom.

That's one side. With the sun. With the me fueled by loving.

.

The other. Barren. Cept for one figure.

One I try not to witness til she toes the line to the sunny side. A gift yet a rarity.

Typically, she resides in the shady seats but stays squinting. The most notable impression of the twisted expression.

Some days are more dreary. And I can't see her clearly. But her voice steady travels on the wind and whips through me.

.

I watch these two battle it out - the crowd cheering.

But that voice doesn't shout. It whispers so clearly.

And the wounded looks through you: I know you can hear me.

.

Those supporters, so loving, well their chants are drowned out. And the two are left standing in a haze of pure doubt.

Neither sure. Both uncertain. Of which one will win.

Sometimes I think it's a matter of time.

Eventually the clock runs out and the stands will be missing their most loyal voyeur.

All that will remain will be sunshine and well wishes.

But its not really so dire. I suppose.

I recognise now what has it's hand round my throat.

May I not amplify it.

May I stand by the sunny side and know that clouds pass and find my place in the rain.

Let it wash over and all that malarkey.

So much has been said. So much I will probably read again and find lacking sense.

But you cannot tame a beast you have not named and I've named it. I know it. And I'm bound to defeat it.

So fuck it.

In the meantime, keep it going.

Find peace. Things will improve. It's just trauma. Not you.

You're better for knowing.

[raviliuz]

Slytherin Quidditch Team as songs from my playlist (part 1)

Marcus Flint ~ .intoodeep. by Dead Poet Society

Maybe let's start with overall vibe and melody and stuff. It sounds so dramatic, I can't explain it with simple words but it's giving walls falling, internal chaos that has to be sorted. And it fits Marcus so well, especially during summer of '93 when a lot of things went shite, he got disowned, had to repeat 7th year and just sort out who he is. The song is about making music which obviously doesn't apply to Flint but I think it can be fairly translated to quidditch for him. Spending so much time and blood, sweat and tears on the quidditch pitch, it being what saved him, where you sought a break during his worst times. It's so hard to leave it, it feels like a betrayal. But he had to make that decision when it came to a professional career.

But let's get to the lyrics

I heard my boy just bought his own house

Told me I could crash while I figure it out

I mean, he literally stayed at Higgs' during that time

I know I'm sounding crazy, know you think I'm fucking lazy

But you'll never understand

Marcus has ADHD which was undiagnosed for like 17 years of his life. That obviously affected him, his education and thus his self esteem. Flint for years thought he's just dumb and lazy because everyone has to do all that school stuff and everyone is doing okay, so clearly there's a problem in him. Finding out that he has ADHD and that was the reason for all of it was so calming and reassuring. But still it didn't mean people around him, even teachers, would understand his disability and how it affects him.

There's no light, inside I'm paralyzed

But fuck it 'cause I'm in too deep

I think it fits Marcus seeking himself around all the shit planted in him by his parents, trying to sort the true him around all expectations and opinions of his parents which he wanted to just erased.

Goodbye to my memories of being at home

As I said, erased them.

I know my mind is a mess

Well, ADHD affects the way one think so he could have issues with like- sorting his thoughts and refering them to others because for them they might seem random and unrelated

My confidence making claims

In Marcus case more like the lack of confidence. Tho it has gotten much better through the years it still wasn't the best and affected him. Flint hated himself, considered himself a disappointment for everyone, felt so ashamed. It was coming back late at night, during worse moments, bringing him back down.

I swear it's all 'bout to change

I'm not just faded

I see Marcus telling that to himself. Like a promise he's going to get through this, that he's so much more than his parents' son.

I'm alive btw, uni is so awesome, I hope you're doing great

[inkystaar]

mafia :looksatyou:

hi merc we are going to pretend like this ask isn’t months old, okay?

me losing my mind under the cut

(ft. multiple crane wives songs)

little soldiers by tcw….. mafia…….. specifically braid duo….. but also angel duo…..

the “i swear that you loved me” is angel duo..

“we didn’t give up, we wouldn’t dare surrender, it was an honest loss!” is braid duo to me. like. ough. they’ve been through so much but they’re still going (as far as i know LOL)

i’ve also thought about little soldiers as gem and bowie which is just. ouughhh. “i swear that i loved you” <- that one scene on the rooftop where gem finds out bowie started the loops….. “beneath the table you would offer up my bones” is gem telling people about it, and “all the dogs would lick your fingers” is people then going after m!bowie… “now the aftermath will ring with songs you’ve sung, all our words sent home in boxes” THE AFTERMATH. OF GEM. TELLING ICARUS ABOUT WHAT BOWIE TOLD IT. OURHEHDHSHHDHSJSJSJDJDJ. THE AFTERMATH WILL RING WITH SONGS YOUVE SUNG…..

SPEAKING OF M!BOWIE AND M!GEM…. canary in a coal mine is THEM. “am i the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?” <- them. somehow. i know it’s them. i just KSJJDJDND i can’t figure it out COMPLETELY. hhhhhhhhhh

“but i still hold out hope that maybe someday ill be worth more than all the silence left in my way” <- m!gem. no i will not be taking questions. goodbye.

also!! metaphor is so m!merc and m!bowie to me. i love m!merc and m!bowie so much they should be allowed to blow shit up. specifically m!merc should be given explosives.

okay no one is going to understand this because i never shared what i wrote for m!bowie’s ending (i will…. at some point maybe……) but sleeping giants is m!bowie and xer relationship to the loops…..

the personification of the nature is just. it’s the timeloop to me. it’s the loops. that dimension, every part of it, so so so fucking alive….. “the trees are crowing hungry, hungry harmonies” RAHHHG

“my pulse is clear, rushing in my ears, i hear something calling me” 🫵 m!bowie’s ending btw. btw. if you care. also. the pulse thing relates even though m!bowie doesn’t have a pulse!!!! right as their… not really?? dying??? but i guess they’re dying. they’re being reborn into like. a different life. and that’s the one time during the loops that they actually have a pulse, hence the “my pulse is clear”

hollow moon by tcw is unexplainable but for sure a mafia song….

the glacier house is revengers to me?? “i saw your eyes so sweet go cold” is such a m!iced lyric to me? “bundle up darling, you’re on your own now” is literally that one time iced told jordan they were using her. or something. (i forgot exactly what happened. (i read that rp very late at night))

“you sought to hold yourself in, wait out the weather” <- also m!iced. to me. what the fuck is their problem /pos

[phoebeseb]

Eurovision and the making of a "good song"

Ok, so for context, my music taste is a mess and it's all over the place. I like different genres, some more popular and mainstream and some more alternative. This year (and the last one) I watched eurovision with my family, who tends to have a more traditional taste in music and by that I mean they tend to like the ballads and more generic pop music.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! Music taste is a very personal thing and to each their own.

My problem is that every single year, without fail, the same argument rises. This year's targets were mostly Finland and Germany (I think they didnt criticize Croatia because they didn't see it XD). I think you can see where this is going...

When I don't like a song, I don't like it. I might make a "snooze fest" joke but I understand that some people might be into it. What annoys me is that every single time a more alternative song comes on (this year, metal took the brunt of it) they are always criticizes with "This is not music, this is just screaming" or "I can't believe what this contest has become... back in ny day, we took real music produced by prestigious musicians to eurovision"

And, oh boy, how I HATE that. I swear I just get so riled up...

First of all, there is talent and skill involved in making metal music. METAL MUSIC IS STILL MUSIC. It might not be your type of music, but don't discredit the artists that take their time to make it, to write the lyrics, produce the beat... (idk what it takes to make a music).

It annoys me how close minded some people are that they can't even recognize that just because it's not your type of music, it doesn't mean it's not music! Metal is not just screaming to the mic. What is so hard to understand about that?

Besides, you can argue that it takes more talent to make those songs that tiktok song n14827.

And don't get me started with the "back in my day argument". Like perhaps back in your day there weren't all these music styles to choose from or perhaps they existed, but their chance to take part in ESC was denied.

Besides, the appearance of more styles reflects the change of audience, the way their tastes change and how the ESC fandom has been growing and I think that's beautiful. The whole point of ESC (at least for me) is to celebrate diversity. It's to get exposed to new genres and new artists and expand your music horizons.

However, no matter how much I try to explain it, it always reverts back to "oh but the public now can't recognize good music" or "ik the styles have changed but, it's not my thing and therefore it's bad" or "it was better before, not it's just a circus"

I swear, I cant argue with them if they don't want to listen. I won't even start on the styling and clothes of these acts because honestly...

Metal can be good music and surprise, surprise, ballads and pop songs can be crappy music. The genre doesnt dictate the quality of the music. The music dictates the quality of the music

[beautouslysandy]

idk if you still do matchups but here is mine, it’s for outer banks, and it’s anonymous bc I am a 🐱. :

I’m on the shorter side for girls, like 5’3ish, but everyone else in my family is TALL ASF so im a fast walker. I have light brown straight hair and curtain bangs (that take far too long to style), hazel eyes, fair skin, and my cheeks are always flushed so it always looks like im blushing when im not (most times).

My friends tell me im very funny and outgoing but deep down I am very sensitive and emotional- I’ve just found ways to hide it. I’m an extremely loyal friend, and I’ll defend a friend even if I don’t agree with what my friend said or did. I’m very shy and quiet when I meet people at first, but once I’m comfortable it’s hard to get me to shut up.

Im always listening to music, and i swear one of my super powers is knowing the lyrics to every song. I stay up late making playlists and reading books. I randomly get outbursts of energy where I can run 5 miles no problem and feel like running in circles around a room, but I’m also constantly tired and always sleeping.

I laugh really hard at stupid things, like videos with animals or the impractical jokers show.

I don’t think I’m clumsy, but apparently I am because I always have something wrong with me. Like if I don’t have a third degree burn on my arm than I have a broken finger and if not that than I’m limping. Like I always am going to the doctor to either get a cast or medicine for an injury.

I’m very good at talking my way into and out of things, but I don’t do it often bc I get anxious.

Also random fun fact: EVERYBODY is convinced I smoke 🍃 when I don’t. Im told its because I’m very calm and can hide my nervousness well- I think its because I could get hit by a car and still be calm and collected, I’m just very zen at all hours and I don’t know how.

This is probably tmi but it’s kind of fun to debrief!!

honestly i think we would be good friends if we knew each other in real life! just a little fun fact about me, i am told I have a very loud personality meaning i am extremely outgoing and stuff haha.

it is fun to debrief! glad you enjoyed it!

hope you like your match up!

OUTERBANKS:

john b, one hundred percent. i think he likes having some calmness in his life, he has got quite the chaotic life. and he loves loves having a short girlfriend, he definitely will tease you about it every now and then but you he is just joking. anybody else though, they won't see the day of light ever again. i think he would find your sparks of energy very amusing. he always gets super worried when you get hurt, he warns you that you should be more careful. he has successfully caught you a few times preventing you from getting hurt, a few times. he probably loves that you are so calm, like said before. it’s nice to have something calm and dependable in his life. i think he loves making you laugh so he will say really idiotic stuff just to hear that laugh he loves so much, it makes his day to see you happy knowing that he is the reason you are. you guys probably watch those try not laugh animal version videos on youtube and just sit there cackling like a pair of little kids. he likes to help you sometimes with your hair and at some point he has mastered it but that is in the fair future (sorry john b). i think his favorite thing about you are your personality, it’s super important to him that his significant other has a good personality that he loves and you provide that. he respects your loyalty as he is as well, i think he is comforted with the fact knowing you are super loyal to him. when you first meet the group they are confused on why john b and you are together as he doesn’t really go for shy girls but once you break out of your shell and the true you shows, they understand. he loves to play with your hair, he loves it when you get flushed to the face because he thinks it’s adorable.

little drabble/skit

“hey, sweetheart, oh are you doing your hair?” john b said peering into your room.

“yeah.” you said looking at him though your mirror

“want some help? i am a professional.” he said with a chuckle as headed over to you to give you a kiss on the cheek

“yes please, i need some professional help.” you said laughing

“okay, then. prepare to be wowed.” he says as he starts to style your hair, five minutes in and he has already burned his finger two times

“ahh, shit!” he exclaims

“burn your finger, again? want me to do it?” you ask with a sympathetic smile, you grab his hand and kiss his finger

“thanks, babe. i wanna do this for you, you do a lot for me…it’s the least i can do.” he says with a smile

“okay. just let me know if you want me to take over.”

he nodded and then went back at it

ten minutes later

“ahh, shit!”

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

Ok, he’s not wrong about rap in general being anti music, or being degrading. I grew up when rap was young yet, n purposely avoid it in English, not because of culture involved, but because I find it deeply offensive. I know a lot of folks from many backgrounds who listen to it. In other languages, it can be funny. I do like other forms of music traditionally connect to black cultures, such as a reggae, soca, jazz, Motown, soul, funk, and the like. These are not so negative in nature. I AM willing to give a chance to a rap song that does not have offensive lyrics.

To be fair on both sides, rap has a conflicting reputation. To some, it’s positive. To many of us, it’s negative. It could be said that both sides of the argument may be biased to some degree.

Anyhoo, that aside, the problem I have is this -

Whilst he does make some good points, he defends Trump. This sets him up for failure. This leads most of his arguments to become logical fallacies -

He has no actual, unbiased proof to back up what he says. This also leads me to believe he’s taken trump’s comments out of context as well. This is especially damaging because Trump ALREADY does this, leaving twisted information to be twice regurgitated in a metaphorical sense. This article reminds me of that kid in a writing class who makes some good points, but they r marked opinion, because they fail to back it up, then cowardly cover their tracks with utter bollocks, because they couldn’t be arsed enough to make an effort with proper information, so they sound as though they’re talking out their bum. He’s the proverbial ‘this bloke I look up to said this, so it’s gotta be true instead of giving actual reasons WHY it might be true’ type. This is very common of evangelicals, and of Trumps followers and defenders. These can be seperate groups, but they rely solely on bias and logical fallacies, pandering to those willing to take anything said at face value if it pleases them, rather than instead of giving actual facts to back up what they are saying. They also don’t allow debate or open minds to challenge what they say. His article also comes off as a stereotype- as if rap is the ONLY music attributed to black folks, and therefore is the standard for generalisation. This is damaging.

Instead, first understand that not all music related to black cultures are inherently negative. They come from struggle, from pain, but they can be just as positive as others, just as any other music. Then, challenge yourself to find rap lyrics, videos, and such that truly AREN’T offensive, negative, or damaging - and don’t have sex, violence n the like. Look for things that are positive and counter the stereotypes.

Not all stereotypes are completely wrong, they have some basis in facts sometimes. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t challenge how we feel about them. This doesn’t mean we necessarily HAVE to change our minds about the stuff that truly is bad. However, it’s healthy and positive to open our minds, and look for stuff that although may be out of our comfort zones a bit, could allow us to see that there are more than one side to the perception we have. There may be more to learn and understand here.

For me, this is one rap song that does swear (which I dont mind), but it also sends a message to grow up. There are certain behaviours that you don’t need to engage in.

Here’s the dirty version -

And the censored version -

We can celebrate black cultures, but we can learn to seperate negative behaviour from good, and realise that these behaviours aren’t necessarily attached to any one culture. They are a result, and a learned response. They can be changed for the better, but we on the outside are not helping to foster that. We are guilty of feeding into it from the outside, just as it is from within. Every culture has stereotypes. We don’t have to be blind to and give into negative stereotypes if we make an effort to collectively be better, and to teach others to learn about and appreciate instead of exploit and manipulate each other. It can lead to the argument of cultural appropriation, which often results from attention seeking behaviours. Cultural appropriation itself is misused and grossly misunderstood. It is often manipulated when used for a benefit.

We need to remember that this is related to assimilation, which sounds nice at the core, until one really understands the full implications of it -

But is misleading. Appreciation is a better approach -

If your goal is to learn, listen, understand, and honor a culture without benefit to yourself, you are most likely showing appreciation. It is a good idea to learn about and honor other cultures. (But also respect your own, and create a healthy exchange)

I searched up his commentary on rap, simply I thought ‘well, maybe he actually had some good insight’. Sadly, despite the Victorian/edwardusn getup giving the impression of a villain to some, or to others, an eccentric professor - he sounds like an utter cock up. You loose all credibility when u blindly defend the blathering eejit convicted criminal. This also does not help anyone.

no fucking way

“What is keeping down American blacks today is not racism, oppression, or lack of opportunity. That’s over.” - Myron Magnet, 2018.