#i swallowed a spicy piece of meat and it had bones in it but there were ppl around so i didnt know what to do

[brekk3red]

Not sure if this fandom still exists, but I found an old notebook from grade 5 that has the translations for these symbols in Artemis Fowl books. I originally thought they were for decorative purposes but it turned out that they weren't, so younger me had a ball decoding these.

For those interested, here are all the ones I've done:

Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident

One of the strangest creatures on the Earth, or more accurately below it, is the common stinkworm. Stinkworms can only survive below the Earth's crust and so have never been seen by humans. The stinkworm can grow to a length of fifteen centimetres and a diameter of up to eight centimetres. The bigger a stinkworm is, the more meat there is in its soft boned skeleton and the more valuable it is to a merchant. Stinkworms are big business in the fairy world and have been for thousands of years. They are very versatile creatures and can be boiled, fried, baked, or even eaten raw though this sushi approach can be difficult to swallow as the stink associated with the worms does not disappear until they are cooked. The current favourite way to eat the stinkworm is in a dish similar to bolognese substituting stinkworms spaghetti. Deep fried on a skewer is popular among the younger generation. What makes the stinkworm so delicious is its juices. When the worm is heated in a pan or oven it bastes itself in a delicious spicy juice which even the best chefs have failed to reproduce. This juice is in fact earwax from the hundreds of ears that cover each worm's body. Some more sensitive fairies cannot forget that they are eating earwax and do not enjoy eating stinkworms, but most are entranced by the flavour that they are quite prepared to ignore where it comes from. Goblins in particular love stink worms and are constantly inventing new ways to consume them. The rarest and most prized stinkworm dish is a stir-fried bowl of stinkworm ears. The ears are shaved from the worm's body, rolled in flour and then lightly fried. This dish takes hours to prepare and costs a fortune. Goblins believe that if you eat a bowl of worm ears then you absorb the worm's memories of the places they have visited. This is not an appealing thought when you consider that a stinkworm's favourite environment is fresh troll dung.

---

Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code

One of the fairy people's most popular pastimes is a card game called Bottoms Up. This game is almost the direct opposite of the human card game Poker. In Bottoms Up, the objective is to end up with the least valuable hand possible. There are four suits: Acorns, Toads, a weird shape known as Splats which is thought to be based on the shape of a stinkworm would make if it were stepped on by a troll, and of course, Bottoms, which gives the game its name. Historians tell us that the curved 'w' shapes which represent Bottoms are actually supposed to represent ocean waves but gamblers prefer to call them Bottoms and now the name has stuck. If a player realises that he is in danger of assembling a good hand, which is bad, he must trick his opponent into taking his valuable cards. The most valuable cards are a golden Acorn, a king Toad, an eight-pointed Splat, and a mega Bottom. There is also a hologrammed wild card which can be anything the holding player wishes it to be. If you are tricked into taking a wild card then you must get rid of it in the next two rounds or it freezes at its current value. When playing Bottoms Up, it is very important to hide any behaviour which might betray nervousness or glee. These behaviours are called 'tells'. An elf's 'tell' is to toy with his pointy ears, sprits sometimes flap their wings causing a downdraught which is never a good idea in a card game, gnomes eat anything they can reach including insects and pieces of furniture, and dwarves lose control of their internal gases. Once these gases build up past a certain point, it becomes almost impossible to hold them up. So if you see a dwarf with a red face, it is a good bet that he has a very bad card, which is good.

---

Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception

There has never been a regulated scientific study of a dwarf's special abilities; what we know about them is based on folklore and hearsay. The most famous of these abilities is the dwarf tunnelling method by which they eat dirt and air before expelling them out the other end. Though the actual force of this expulsive have never been measured, several witnesses have reported windows breaking more than twenty metres away. It is said that a master recycler than finetune his gas emissions so that instead of a widespread blast of flatulence, he shoots out a concentrated column of wind. Legend has it that one such master recycler, a certain Blurt Diggums, was so accurate with these columns that he could turn on a light switch from the other side of the room. Dwarfs themselves use casual terms to refer to strength of their gas emissions. A shirt-flapper is a gentle emission that would barely inflate a child's balloon, a pants-ripper is a sturdier blast and would certainly blow a hole in even the sturdiest material, a nought-to-sixty is a sight whopper and could accelerate whoever dropped it to dangerous speeds, a strap-yourself-down is about as strong as it gets and could help a dwarf achieve flight, and finally, the legendary dark-side. If released in a mountaintop it could put a dwarf into orbit. there is no evidence that a dark-side is anything more than a myth. All the same if you see a dwarf on a mountain with a red face, take cover. You can't be too careful around dwarf wind.

---

Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony

The demon scrolls tell of a warlock that will come to save our people but I couldn't rely too much on the scrolls. They also say that rabbits are supreme beings and that the best cure for a sore throat is a poultice of dung and old socks. Hence trust the scrolls at your peril. There are however a few basic tips for survival in a demon tribe that might be helpful if you were a human and had never actually met a demon before, which is unlikely to say the least. If you were a human, you wouldn't be able to read this in the first place. So, demon survival tips. First, never stab a demon with his own sword. This is the ultimate insult and will result in a vendetta that could go on for generations. It is fine to stab a demon with your sword, he will congratulate you for managing that but only poor warlocks lose their swords and then get stabbed with them. If the opportunity arises, give it a miss. Demons have a pretty comprehensive system of sign language ... (I couldn't find the rest unfortunately)

---

Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox

From the collective correspondence of Opal Koboi, a series of letter between Koboi inmate number [cannot be identified], Atlantis maximum penitentiary, and Wing Commander, Vinyaya, Haven Council.

Koboi: "My dear Wing Commander, while I realise that my first probation hearing is not due for four hundred years, I feel that it would be in the people's best interests to release me before then. After all, the humans are becoming more sophisticated daily and a genius such as myself will be needed to ensure that fairy technology remains superior to human technology."

Vinyaya: "Dream on, Koboi."

Koboi: "I am sensing negative vibrations from you, Wing Commander. Do not be so quick to judge, people can change, surely you can accept that. I admit that once, I found the idea of being the planet's supreme power an attractive one, but who hasn't secretly nurtured the dream of wiping out humanity and utterly dominating one's own peers? I see now that this dream might be unacceptable to some narrow-minded fairies and I am prepared to swear on my pixie honour that should I be released I would not attempt to take over the world again."

Vinyaya: "On your pixie honour. Wow, I'll send the transfer shuttle right over."

Koboi: "I see now, Wing Commander, that you never had any intention of sending the transfer shuttle right over. In fact, you were being sarcastic. Mocking me from the safety of police plaza before i realised that the shuttle was not coming for me. I packed by belongings so that I could be ready, including my collection of model seahorses which I fashioned form chewed cardboard. My favourite seahorses, Twinky and Goodboy, were broken in the process. Twinky cries every night over her severed tail and Goodboy does not look so dashing without his head. Your callousness leaves me no alternative but to place you in my revenge list. When I am finally free of this horrible place and elevated to my rightful position as Queen of the world, you will take my place in this cell and I will send you troll minions to issue daily beatings with batons fashioned from seahorse tails. A fitting punishment, I am sure you agree."

Vinyaya: "See you in four hundred years."

[briar-ffxiv]

FFXIV Write #02 - Horizon

FFXIV Write 2024 Master Post

Prompt #2 - Horizon

Briar looked at the plate before him, struggling to keep the uncertainty off his face. Baatu was beaming at him, the tip of his tail flicking back and forth gently. What was on the plate was quite pretty and Briar wouldn't deny that, but he was more than a touch puzzled by what he was being offered.

The rice was familiar, although it was short white grains when he was more used to brown or wild rice. He was fairly certain that the slices of meat were fish, although the colour of one hinted at eel. However, one pinkish meat was unrecognizable to the half-Elezen. He wasn't sure what to make of the dark green covering some of the food had wrapped around it. Briar watched as a humming Baatu set down several little bowls in front of him that seemed to hold sauces: two thin brown sauces, one of a green paste, and the last was creamy and orange. It was artistic and lovely against the black plates, but Briar could only stare with puzzled anxiety.

Biting his lip, he looked up at the tall half-Elezen, half-Xaela and nervously smiled. "I, ah, um… W-what is it, Baatu?"

"Sushi!" Baatu said, booming voice echoing a bit in Briar's ears. "I just made you some simple ones since I didn't think you had it before. Still, you've liked to try things and broaden your horizons so…" He took a moment to point to each one. "This is nigiri with salmon and prawn. This is tuna sashimi. And maki rolls with eel, bream, and more salmon!"

Briar was relieved he'd been correct about the eel and knew what salmon was. He hadn't had prawn before and frowned a bit. "What is prawn?"

"Um, sort of like a shrimp…or a crayfish."

Briar nodded and gestured to the small bowls. "And these?"

"Dipping sauces! It's traditional to dip sushi into sauces, although you don't have to. Soy sauce, ponzu sauce, wasabi and that's spicy mayo." Baatu gave a deep, bone-rumbling laugh. "Spicy mayo is a bit more western, but popular in Kugane."

"Oh," Briar said again, relaxing a bit. While it was different, at least he had an idea of what to expect and could draw at least parallels to foods he was used to. "Thank you, Baatu. I do like to try new things."

"Here." Baatu passed him what Briar knew to be training chopsticks. Briar had been fascinated the first time he'd seen the big man use a pair and Baatu had indulged him. Still, between the scars on Briar's hands and not being used to them, he was a little clumsy still. So he was happy to use the training ones if only so as not to waste food.

Murmuring a thanks, Briar accepted them and eyed the plate, trying to pick which one was the 'safest'. He decided on the tuna sashimi, popping the bite-sized piece in his mouth. The texture of it, being uncooked, was a little odd but the flavour was mild.

Baatu chuckled. "Try some with one of the sauces. It's a bit plain without."

Briar nodded, picking up a salmon nigiri, he considered the sauces and dipped sushi into the green one. The one Baatu called wasabi.

"Oh! Briar, wait, that's--" Baatu made a little face as he warned the redhead too late. He watched with a hint of worry as Briar chewed.

"Hmm, that's--" Briar froze, eyes widen and cheeks flushing. He gave a muffled squeak and looked around, dropping the chopsticks in surprise.

"Here, here!" Baatu said, trying not to laugh as he slid the poor Shroudborn a glass of water. He bit his lip to keep from chuckling as Briar drained most of it. "That's wasabi, Briar," he repeated. "It's rather spicy so a little might be best."

Briar wheezed as he set down the nearly empty glass, blinking and reaching for a napkin to wipe his face, half-sweat and half-dripped water. Not to mention he was blushing rather hard. "I…noticed."

Baatu gave a sympathetic noise, still swallowing a chuckle. "Maybe try the ponzu sauce next? It's a little tangy and sweet and a bit salty, but not spicy."

Briar swallowed and took a deep breath. "That…might be better," he managed, bravely reaching for his chopsticks to take another sushi from the plate. This time most definitely with ponzu sauce.

Baatu belongs to @shadesofblades!

[intoevernightfanfic]

Chapter 9 of At Your Service (Rated MA) is now live on AO3! (Yes, I am updating it at 2AM my time; I do what I want!)

I can't post much from the chapter since it's spicy, but have a little (edited) T-rated snippet!

--

Not knowing what else to do, she plucked a slice of rolled omelette with her chopsticks and pushed it to his lips. His eyes widened, pupils dilating, and she swore she heard his breath catch. Had she done something wrong? Before she could fret, however, he parted his lips ever so slightly, and he accepted the offering. His velvet tongue swept over the tips of the chopsticks, and she fixated on the action, her thoughts hurtling to the night before. Her cheeks overheated.

No, she wasn’t thinking about this already, she chided herself, her hands shaking. It was hard not to when she was still undressed, save for the yukata draped across her back and shoulders, when he licked his lips with such a dazzling look in his amethyst eyes. She swallowed hard, flicking her gaze down to the plates as she worked a piece of fish off the bone, but instead of feeding it to herself, she brought the chopsticks to Tomoe’s mouth again.

Once more, he closed his lips around the meat, his eyes locked on hers. His lips lingered for a beat too long, and then he slid down the chopsticks, all but kissing the tips. She gulped, watching him chew, his eyes glued to her. Crap, he’d gotten her flustered over nothing.

[braveclementine]

Full Circle

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OCs, which consist of Penny Fury, Elizabeth Nelson, Elijah Chan, Katya Venice, Violetta Moscow, Lan Le, Josh, Trang Tien, Ahni Jallow, Mai Ito, and Ghaida Kashual as well as other OCs that will come up throughout the story.

Only a few hours later, Elizabeth, Stephen, Elijah, Ghaida, Lan, and Wanda had gone to Asgard. Elizabeth, Stephen, and Elijah were splitting off into a pair to go and find Hogun and Sif. Ghaida, Lan, and Wanda were going to find Volstagg. Heimdall had apparently sent Fandral to Earth, so Steve and Trang were heading out to go find him since he was lost and delirious and would only trust those two. 

But now, they had all returned home. Loki, Thor, Fandral, and Heimdall had been completely healed. Everyone was together. The five children in Elizabeth's stomach were also alright and they had all been spending the nights together in the common room. To Penny, it felt like life had returned to what it would be. 

There were a fair number of fights, mostly between Natasha and Elizabeth about the kids being taken out to the park. Eventually, Elizabeth would concede just to give Natasha piece of mind, but Penny was afraid that the fights were going to push the ice girl back to Ohio. . . and that the others would go with her. 

Now, they were all eating dinner in the common room. Elizabeth had said it would be a fun day, so Papa Johns pizza had been called in. Stuffed crust with pepperoni, banana peppers, and black olives for the weird people *coughElizabethcough*, normal Pepperoni pizza for a large majority of the team, meat deluxe for the super soldiers, and normal cheese pizza for Wanda, Bruce, and Pietro. 

Penny watched as Elizabeth finished her pizza slice, before feeding Rue a small piece of pizza. Rue gobbled it up and then looked up at her, begging for more. Elizabeth fed her another piece and then cut into the spicy chicken wings that were there, dipping them into blue cheese. 

Bucky looked at her, "Was that my chicken wing?" 

"Not anymore." Elizabeth responded, smirking at him. "And there's ninety-eight chicken wings left." 

"But that was the one I wanted to eat." Bucky protested. 

"I mean, I can throw it up into your mouth if you want to be a baby bird." Elizabeth said. 

"EW!" Trang whined. "Elizabeth please, I'm trying to eat here." 

"I'm just saying." Elizabeth shrugged. 

"I lost my appetite." Trang gagged again, putting her pizza slice down, getting up and sitting in Tony's lap, burying her face in his chest while he laughed. "Stop laughing or I swear I'm going to shave your beard in your sleep." 

Tony shut up, swallowing a large amount of soda. Loki smirked, throwing another potato chip into his mouth. 

"Anyways." Elizabeth said, loud enough to gather everyone's attention while she pulled some of the chicken off the bone, dipping it in more blue cheese. "I just wanted everyone to know that all of us Ohioans have talked over the idea of bonding all of us and we're all on board except for Josh and Riri who want to go and live on their own now." 

"Can I ask why?" Wanda asked softly. 

"I love you guys and I always will." Josh said with a shrug. "But Riri and I have both agreed that we want to have a relationship just between the two of us. It was fun being with you guys when I didn't have a soulmate, but with Riri being a little younger, I don't think it's fair anymore. So we just want to live our own life now. That's all." 

"I hope you guys have a good life. You'll still visit, right?" Wanda asked. 

"Of course." Josh rolled his eyes. "Can't get rid of me, even if you try. Elizabeth knows that." 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "And I've been trying to for years." 

"I feel like there's a but." Rhodey said. 

"There is." Elizabeth said. "I. . . we have also agreed that we're not living in the tower." 

Now there was silence in the room. No one was eating anymore, everyone just looking at her. Trang slid out of Tony's lap at that seconds, looking a little guilty. 

"Why?" Tony asked. 

"It's nothing against you, Tony, or the tower. I love the tower, it's pretty much the only place I've ever called home." Elizabeth sighed. "But I can't raise my kids here. I can't raise my kids in an almost one hundred story tall building, where they constantly have to take elevators or stairs to try and locate their fathers who can be on floor 1 to 95. I want them to live in a two, maybe three story house where they go down one flight of stairs and there's the dad or mother they need. A nice, large backyard for them to play in. Somewhere a little quieter, somewhere they have neighborhood kids to play with, a neighborhood for them to explore." 

She paused, letting everyone take in her words and then continued, "I'm not saying my house cause it's definitely to small, and I'm not even saying we have to live in Ohio. I'm just saying, I can't raise kids here and I don't think we should raise kids here. It's not healthy, Tony. If we want our kids to develop normally, they're going to need some interaction, they're going to need a different lifestyle." 

Penny felt that last couple sentences were digs at Natasha, and Nat clearly felt the same way as she bristled. "The kids are safe here! They're protected. They don't need to live in a house." 

"They're not going to have interactions with-" 

"We're the only interaction they need!" Natasha argued. 

"It's not protection Natasha when you're preventing them from even going outside!" Elizabeth said, getting heated. "When's the last time Anastasia was outside? Christmas at the mall? That was four months ago! Almost five!" 

"Then we just build a playground here." Natasha argued. "We have the roof." 

Elizabeth threw her hands up in the air. "The roof? That's safer then taking them to a park on ground level? Nat, you're smarter than this!" 

"This is a fantasy that you dreamt up when it was just you and Bucky! A fantasy that you'd live in a house with a white picket fence and two kids and being friendly with all the neighbors." 

"What's wrong with that?" Bucky interjected, sounding hurt. 

"Because it's not reality, James." Natasha replied. "Nobody would've known who you two were. But we're the Avengers now. You're the Ohioans. Our neighbors will all know who we are. We will have paparazzi outside of our house all day long. The playgrounds we frequent will become breeding grounds for HYDRA and other organizations that want to hurt us. So no matter what, our kids will be 'sheltered' as you put it, because our house will have to have gates and walls around it anyways. We won't frequent playgrounds because they're to high risk, anyways. So why not just stay here?" 

Surprisingly, it was Sam that spoke up. "Nat, we went to this park called Sharon Woods every single day we were there. Rue, Mateo, and Kisa made friends, they played with other children. The parents we talked to didn't give a damn about us being heroes. Sure, a few autographs, a few photos, but that was it. They just talked about normal things: the weather, schools they were looking into for their children, their older children. It was normal, it was something that I had forgotten could exist." 

More silence met his words. 

Violetta suddenly got up, going and sitting next to Natasha. "What about a trial period? I mean, I love the idea Nat. I feel safe with Valentine there too. Maybe if you just try it?" 

"Okay." Natasha whispered, looking up at Violetta. "I'll try it." 

"I do have. . ." Rhodey started and then stopped and reworded whatever it was that he wanted to ask. "I love you guys. And I would love to marry all of you, be bonded to all of you but. . . I still haven't met my soulmate. And maybe I just don't have one. But I'd want to meet them or at least know if I have one, before I put myself in a permanent relationship with you guys." 

"Same." Violetta said, nodding. 

"We could look into it." Ghaida said hesitantly. "I would never intrude on that without your permission though." 

"I would like to know." Vi nodded. 

Elizabeth and Ghaida's eyes both changed colours. Ghaida's mouth dropped in shock, but Elizabeth started to smile. "You and Rhodey share your soulmate. He's the only one." 

"He?" Vi and Rhodey both asked. 

"There's no way." Ghaida mumbled, almost to herself. 

Elizabeth raised her hands and opened a portal so that a man dropped from the circle, landing on his stomach painfully in front of both Rhodey and Violetta. 

"Elizabeth!" Rhodey shouted, shocked as he hurriedly put his hands on the man, trying to help him. Violetta joined him. 

And then they both withdrew and the room was shocked into silence once more. Natasha immediately snatched up Anastasia, backing away from him while Bruce just stared at Violetta in a mixture of anger and worry. 

"Ow what the fuck!" A familiar voice complained as he rolled over himself, before freezing on the floor. "What the fuck." He mumbled again. 

"And that." Elizabeth smiled down at Blonsky. "Is what I believe we call, a full circle." 

🚺👊 Ⓣⓗｅ 𝑒𝔫𝐃 🫖🤛

[arjaandsimoni]

Bet Your Life

Smith family ranch, early evening

Now that things had calmed down, the extended Smith family had agreed on one thing. Insane circumstances or not, Nelen and the kids had saved their lives that night and as firm believers in southern hospitality they refused to let a good deed go unrewarded.

Two huge picnic tables were set up outside the ranch, laden with fresh roast beef, potato salad, green beans, and other southern traditions. In deference to Arja and Simoni’s dietary restrictions they had even baked some drumsticks and had pulled pork for sandwiches.

“Eat up ya’ll!” grinned Joseph, waving his cane. “Ya’ll done right by us, but we ain’t gonna be savin’ ya from the boogums. Best we can do is make sure yer tanks are full fer whatever lies ahead.”

Simoni chewed a bit on the chicken, then blinked, then started scarfing it down with much more gusto. She had been eyeing the red meat, but the drumsticks were spicy with a hint of lime and some other tastes she couldn’t identify. “Holy dang these are sooooo good!” she said through a mouthful of masticated meat, washing it down with some soda. “Tara did you make these?” she asked, looking across the table.

Tara smirked, “Nope, believe it or not that was my lil’ cowboy here.” she grinned, pointing to Tex as his face reddened.

Simoni turned to Tex, her eyebrows going up. “OH! Um… w-well, you did a really good job…” she blushed.

Tex shrugged it off, looking a bit flustered as Stephy giggled, “I helped, but yeah. Tex actually cooks a lot back home too. Honestly he does it more than Tara does. She mostly manages the garden out back.”

Tex’s face reddened deeper, “Jus’ a recipe I picked up as a kid…” he muttered sheepishly.

Nelen took up a piece of ribs and tore the meat off with his teeth, then gestured with the now empty bone, “Hey. Don’t knock it. It’s a damn useful skill to have. Would’ve saved me and Dawn a ton of money over the years… though almost none of the places we stayed at had the tools anyways.” he shrugged as Dawn pulled the crispy skin off a drumstick, then ripped the meat apart with her fangs, purring loudly.

Tex grinned a bit, “I mean, jus’ a hobby. Not like cookin’ is, yanno, inherently girly…” he coughed, blushing.

Dawn chewed, swallowed, then counted off on her fingers, “… Emeril Lagasse, Paul Prudhomme, Wolfgang Puck, Gordon Ramsey.” she said, glancing up.

They all turned to look at her, she sighed, “Food. Network. I grew up watching cable TV. In hotels. Seriously guys I’m starting to get sick of this gag!” she mrowled in annoyance, then lapped some water out of her glass, “Point is, plenty of guy chefs out there. Besides, no cat is gonna gripe at any human knowing how to make food.” she grinned widely.

The only one in absentia was Natasha, who had remained at the bed & breakfast in the nearby town. The sun was still up after all, and it wasn’t like she could sample the goods anyways. Vampirism came with many drawbacks and one of the bigger ones was that it wasn’t just that she had to drink blood, its that it was all she could eat or drink. Vampires were hemovores and ingesting anything except blood would result in a rather violent case of indigestion. Not on the level of Merihim’s wrath, but someone would still have to clean that up.

Arja grinned, chowing down on a pulled pork sandwich with eagerness, “Still, gotta love American food. Not as spicy as the stuff back home for my taste, but you can’t beat it for good comfort stuff.”

Nearby Sammi idly picked at his green beans and mashed potatoes, “So you say Arja… pity that its far too spicy for the likes of me…” he sighed.

Tex frowned a bit at that, patting Stephy’s hand, “Wish ya’ll’d warned us about that lil’ filly. We’d have made sure to make some plain ones fer ya.” he grinned apologetically.

“Its okay Tex!” he smiled back, “I mean heck, you know how I used to live. ANY food is good food as far as I’m concerned.” he nodded.

Nearby Lupe dug into a plate of torn up beef and pork, her tail kicking up a proverbial dust storm behind her as the feral werewolf had the feast of her life so far. Natasha took good care of her, but no vampires would ever be good chefs. She sat up after licking the bowl clean, licking her chops with a big doggy grin, then her head perked up and she sniffed at the air. “Rrf?” she grunted, looking around, then got to her feet and padded off, sniffing at the ground as she followed her nose.

Simoni looked up from her plate, watching her go, “Hey, where’s Lupe going?” she asked.

Dawn grinned, “Probably gonna go mark her territory.” she grinned as Elizabeth frowned, but both Tim and Jessie laughed.

Lupe’s mind wasn’t on making room for seconds as it were however. She smelled something… unusual… she followed it to a seemingly random patch of dirt near the fence surrounding the farm, then started to dig. A moment later a loud pained YELP echoed across the field.

Stephy and Tex jumped up along with Arja and Simoni, the four racing off in the direction the werewolf had gone, only to find her whining and licking at her forepaws which now sported nasty looking blisters! “Ho dang… what the heck coulda done this to ‘er? Thought werewolves were supposed ta be super tough or somethin!” he said, examining her burns.

Stephy however looked at the hole she had dug up, seeing something shiny in the dirt. “… Silver…” he whispered, reaching down and scooping out the loose earth, “She burned herself on it. There’s something in here..." he murmured, pulling out a small solid silver box inscribed with a crucifix and the names of several saints.

“Blessed silver…” murmured Simoni, “Someone really went out of their way to protect whatever is in there…”

Stephy froze the lock with a quick whisper, then smacked it with a rock to shatter it, the soft metal made brittle enough that even he could break it, then popped it open.

Inside was a small leather-bound journal, the faerie opened it and read the first page, his eyes going huge. “Tex… you need to see this…” he said, handing it over.

Tex took it from him, “This journal belongs to Edward Smith…” he read, then stared, “T-that was my uncle! He disappeared ages ago, we all thought he’d run off to another state or somethin’!”

The Texan boy flipped through the pages, all the way to the back, then paused at the last one, “… oh shit…” he murmured, reading aloud, “… ‘I’ve finally found it, th’ secret of that bastard McCall’s power. He ain’t th’ great grandson of th’ founder o’ McCall Amusements, he IS th’ founder! He’s been keepin’ himself alive fer years by lurin’ in people with gamblin’ debt ‘n gettin’ ‘em ta bet their lives, then winnin’ ‘em!’” he said, his eyes darting along the page.

Stephy gasped as Simoni frowned, “That’s why he’s so eager to get his hands on the ranch. This journal exposes his secret!” she nodded.

Stephy shook his head, “Exposes it to people like us, but no mundane is gonna believe that. They’ll just think Tex’s uncle was crazy.”

Tex read on however, “… ‘Whats more, I know how ‘e does it. The bastard sold his soul ta a demon from Hell itself, and I know which one! I daren’t write his name ‘ere, but I’ve drawn his sigil below… Knowin’ it lets ya’ll demand a poker game with McCall. I’m gonna try ta put an end ta this tonight… but if I fail, I beg whoever finds this, finish what I started! Monsters like him shouldn’t walk th’ earth…’”

He lowered the journal. On the page was a drawing of a sigil. Even though it was drawn in pencil the lines seemed to glow a baleful crimson:

As he looked it over a shadow fell over the group. Nelen stood there, “Whats up guys? Lupe okay?” he asked, then saw the journal and what was on the page, his eyes going wide as his arm suddenly spasmed violently! “AGH! SHIT!” he snarled, grabbing it and pinning it down.

“Nelen! We found out why those vampires came to the ranch! The one who sent them, Henry McCall the Casino Owner, he’s a warlock!” said Stephy, pointing to the symbol on the page, “That’s his patron, but the book says if we know who it is we can demand a poker match and all we have to do is beat him to get rid of him.”

Nelen looked at it again, shaking his head, “No. No way. I know who that one is, don’t even think about it.” he frowned.

“Don’t even…” started Tex, “That son of a bitch tried ta kill my family!” he shouted, standing up.

“Yeah! I know, and he’s a compete bastard for doing so, but you do NOT want to go up against that!” he snapped back, pointing at the sigil.

Tex glared, “Why. Gimme one good reason.” he frowned at him.

“That is the sigil of one of the seven archdukes of Hell, the personifications of the Seven Deadly Sins.” he warned, “He’s out of your league, my league, all our leagues. My best suggestion is send that journal to him anonymously and hope he goes the hell away.” he nodded firmly.

Tex glared back, then slowly nodded, “… okaaaay, that’s a pretty good reason… but would that even stop ‘im? He’d know we’d seen it then! He might just send some other nasties ta silence us permanently!” he shouted.

Nelen frowned, then after a long moment he sighed, “I don’t have a good answer to that, but take it from me Tex. You do not wanna tangle with Hell. I’m not going to give you the bullshit feel good stuff the preachers do. Faith is no more your shield than a garbage can lid there. If a demon gets his hands on you, there’s not enough prayer in the world to save you then.”

He nodded curtly, then walked back to the picnic tables as the four of them stood up slowly, “Damn… dammit he’s really scared. That guy fuckin’ drove over a vampire last night ‘n let another bite ‘im and he’s scared…” frowned Tex.

Simoni nodded, “He’s got good reason to be.” she replied. “If McCall has one of the seven on his side then he really is too powerful for us Tex…” she warned, glancing at him.

Tex just grumbled, sticking the journal in his back pocket and going over to the tables as well. After a minute the other four joined him.

Later that night

Azure wings soared out over the desert as Stephy flew towards the lights of Houston, aiming towards one huge building in particular. McCall Amusements, a casino built right along the gulf coast near a very profitable stretch of beach, right near all the best restaurants, a glittering tower to all the money that could be made with a throw of the dice or a turn of the card. Riding on his back, holding on as tight as he could, was Tex.

Stephy landed out of sight, letting Tex slide off him, and changed back, taking his sandals back from Tex and sliding them on. “We’re really doing this huh?” he asked.

“Look, I get wut yer cousin’ said… but I know I’m right too. Even if we turned th’ journal over ta McCall that’d just tell ‘im that we know now, ‘n he’d prolly just have his boys torch the ranch or somethin’.” he sighed.

Stephy nodded, “Yeah, but if the journal is right he’s been doing this for years and years… I mean this place was founded during the old days of the Wild West wasn’t it? He’s gotta be an incredibly good poker play-…” he started as a bus hissed to a stop nearby, the doors opening as a pair of heels beat out an angry rhythm towards them.

“What. Bloody part. Of ‘I must stay near you and your’s’ do you not GET?!”  snapped Sammi. “The YOU part is the important one!” he huffed, folding his arms over his torso. He was dressed in the same silken shirt, slacks, and dress shoes he’d worn to dinner, but his hair looked a lot more messy than usual and his shirt was rumpled. Sitting on his shoulder with a huge grin was Dawn in her cat form.

Stephy stared at his faerie sibling, looking him up and down as if unable to believe he was actually there. “How…” he started…

Sammi sighed, looking up, “Freak minor earthquake made me take a tumble out the bedroom window onto a cow who bolted in panic at the sudden shaking and ran all the way to the nearest town before bucking me into a truck which then drove all the way here to Houston with me hanging onto the rear bumper for dear life. From there it made sense why and I just needed a bus schedule.” he huffed in an annoyed way.

Stephy blinked slowly, “That’s how Fate conspires to keep us together huh?” he asked.

Sammi frowned, “You flew off to Houston, sometimes Fate won’t be subtle about it.” he nodded firmly, glaring at his adoptive sibling.

Stephy nodded, “Okay fair enough, but why is DAWN here?” he asked, gesturing to the feline sitting astride Sammi’s shoulder like a grinning furry parrot.

Two hours earlier

Dawn looked up at Nelen as he got his shirt off for bed, “You know they’re going to go.” she smirked at him.

Nelen sighed, “Yeah, I know. So what I want YOU to do is go with them. If shit hits the fan teleport them to safety and initiate plan fifty-three and a half.” he replied.

Dawn grinned, “Run like hell from Hell, right. Knowing how this goes Sammi should be showing up right aboooooout…”

From outside the window came a distant voice, “BLOODY BEAST STOP RUNNING! STOP! AUGH! OH NO NO NO NO NO!”

Dawn cackled, “There’s my ride, gotta go!” she grinned widely, then vanished with a poof.

Houston, Outside of McCall Amusements

Dawn just smirked and licked at her paw, “Oh, you know cats. We always turn up when there’s fun to be had.” she giggled, her tail swishing as she teleported from Sammi’s shoulder to Stephy’s, stretching out across his shoulders like a mink stole and yawning widely.

The four of them looked up at the Casino, then began to walk up towards the entryway. The doorman however stopped them. “Sorry kids, nobody under twenty-one years of age in the Casino without a parent or guardian. Feel free to come back in a few years.”

Dawn grinned widely, her eyes flashing at him, then the group walked in as the doorman broke into an impressive soft-shoe routine of ‘Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.’

Sammi chuckled at that, “I could have just used some glamour to make us look like adults you know…”

Dawn shrugged, “My way is funner.”

Eventually however they got to the front desk, the attendant looking down at them. “Yes? Can I help you? Did you kids get separated from your parents?” she asked.

Tex shook his head, “We got somethin’ fer yer boss. Found a journal he’d be interested in. Tell him it says somethin’ about a ‘business partner’ o’ his.” he grinned.

The woman frowned, but picked up a phone and dialed a number, “Hi, Peggy? I got some weird kids down here who said that Mr. McCall might want to see them about… a journal? Something about a business partner?” she stated. “Should I just call the… oh? Oh really? Um… o-okay, sure, I’ll do that.” she nodded, then took a name badge on a lanyard with the letters ‘VIP’ on it, handing it over. “Go right there to the elevator and insert it into the card reader. It’ll take you to Mr. McCall’s office.” she instructed, looking very confused.

Tex nodded to her, “Thank ya’ll kindly.” he smiled, the group walking away towards the elevators.

As they did Sammi nodded, “Mm… it stinks in here, can you smell it Stephy?” he asked.

Stephy nodded back, “Yeah… its like… hot melted metal and sweat and…” he murmured.

“Greed.” nodded the fae prince, “Fresh, hot greed.” he grinned, “Didn’t need a silly journal to tell you who his patron was. Anyone touched by the fae who walked in here would know.”

Tex said nothing, just giving a curt nod as they entered the elevator, then rode it up to the penthouse.

When they got there a woman, presumably ‘Peggy,’ buzzed them through. The interior room had low lighting over a small poker table set up in the middle and seated at it was a man in an expensive suit with an honest to gods waxed mustache and beard. “So, you’re Trixie Smith I believe?” he asked. He had dark hair and wore a black hat with a silver buckle on the front, a picture of a shiny gold coin in the center of it.

Tex’s face colored, “That’s John thank ya’ll kindly, Tex’ll do.” he replied as Stephy gave his hand a squeeze, glaring at McCall. He was able to sense emotions, he could tell the man did that on purpose.

The man looked at his smartphone, then shrugged and pursed his lips, “Beggin’ yer pardon Sir… appears my information is a touch outta date.” he smirked. “So, ya’ll found out mah dirty little secret ‘n now ya’ll wanna try to beat the house huh?” he asked, his voice carrying the drawl of an old western man. It’d be easy to imagine him as a card shark or a snake oil salesman in some movie. “Well, fine. Them’s the rules, ‘n besides… young man like you oughta have a lotta years ta bank.” he nodded, gesturing to the chair.

Stephy and Sammi stepped forward, but McCall held out a hand, “Nuh uh. Sorry you two, but humans only. Faerie years are like faerie gold, disappear in the mornin’ like mist. Besides, never play cards with someone who can fuck with fate.” he nodded.

The two frowned, then took a step back. Stephy held Tex’s hand tighter, but the boy nodded, “I gotta do this darlin’…” he said, taking a seat at the table.

As he did there was a scent of brimstone, and a dealer appeared standing next to it. Tex couldn’t see his face in the gloom, but his eyes burned like coals in the darkness.

"The game is five card draw, Jokers wild. Play will continue until either Henry McCall or John ‘Tex’ Smith is rendered bankrupt." it intoned.

Next to Tex and McCall, a pile of poker chips appeared. They seemed to have an ephemeral quality to them, as if they weren’t entirely there, each one stamped with a clock face with the hands slowly turning in a circle and the words ‘one year’ along the rim. Tex noticed McCall’s pile was a LOT bigger than his…

The dealer delt out five cards apiece, and the game began.

Five hands in and McCall seemed to be on the defensive, Tex having bet heavy and folded on bad hands enough to actually enlarge his pile somewhat, but he had a good way to go. “Gotta admit son, ya’ll did bettern’ your uncle did. Had him down in’ five hands.” commented McCall, “Man did NOT have a poker face…” he tutted.

Tex’s cheeks reddened, but he forced himself to calm down. Keeping his face blank and empty of emotion was the only way he could hope to win this. Let McCall wonder what his hand held.

The cards came out again, Tex wound up winning with three of a kind to McCall’s two pair. Then McCall beat his measly Ace High with a Full House. On and on the cards were flipped, until the chips were almost even… and then Tex saw something behind McCall…

… a pair of yellow eyes shining in the darkness.

He looked at his hand, a full house. Not a guaranteed win… but… he reached out, then shoved all his chips forward. “All in.” nodded Tex.

Henry looked him over, the man noticing a faint flash in the darkness behind Tex, then smirked, “All in eh? Well, suppose we gotta end it sometime.” he smirked, “Right, stand then.” he nodded as they showed their hands.

Tex had two Queens, three Eights.

McCall had a Jack, Ten, Nine, Eight, and… a Four…

McCall smirked at him, then glanced down, and his face fell as he saw what was there. “Wait… no… that’s not right, that was a seven not a four!” he shouted, standing up.

Stephy smirked, “Oh? You sure?” he asked with a knowing grin.

Sammi giggled, “The game has been going on a long time Henry… are you sure your eyes are not playing tricks on you?” he teased.

Then a voice echoed, “You sure you weren’t just…” and then with a pop Dawn appeared next to Tex, grinning widely, “… seeing things?” she asked.

McCall stared, “… a Cheshire… a fucking CHESHIRE!” he stood up quickly, “SON OF A BITCH! YOU MADE ME SEE THE SEVEN!” he snarled, pointing an accusing finger at her.

Dawn cackled, “HA! Hey, he knew about it!” she smirked, then hissed as her tail floofed as McCall reached into his coat and pulled out a handgun, leveling it at them.

“You little shits! I’ll…” he started, then gasped as his hand suddenly spasmed. He dropped the gun to the table, gripping his wrist in pain as his hand began to shrivel in on itself, liver spots appearing on his flesh as his veins began to stand out against paper-thin skin, his hair going whispy and white on the back of his hand. “N-no…” he gasped in horror.

"Henry McCall is bankrupt." spoke the dealer. "The game goes to John ‘Tex’ Smith."

McCall glared at them, his face a mask of rage as his eyes began to sink into his skull, his cheeks turning sallow as his beard and mustache grew rapidly, going from jet black to stark white. “NO! IT DOESN’T END LIKE THIS!” he snarled, reaching across the table… then clutching at his chest as he grimaced in pain, “No… I don’t…” he gasped out, “I don’t wanna… go to… Hell…" his voice creaked out at the last, and slowly he fell forward onto the table with a thud, nothing left but a mummified corpse in an expensive suit.

“… well I coulda fuckin’ lived without seeing that…” whistled Tex as he stood up. “So… now what?”

As he did however the elevator dinged in the next room, and a moment later the door opened.

Mr. Maroon strolled in, wearing his purple suit and his bifocal glasses, his hair slicked back in a combover. He looked at the corpse on the table and shook his head, “Damn it all, I warned him…” he sighed as if looking at a schoolboy who despite constant tutoring simply didn’t get the lesson.

Tex stood up, looking over at Maroon. “You… warned him?” he asked, “Wait, you knew he was a warlock?!” he shouted.

Maroon looked at him, then smirked, “Well yes, of course I did. How could I not?” he asked.

Sammi snapped his fingers, “Ah… I thought something about you felt strange… it was staring us in the face the whole time!” he nodded. “You’re his partner. The names even sound similar! Maroon…” he began.

Mr. Maroon smirked, then took off his glasses and tucked them into his breast pocket, closing his eyes. There was a faint ca-ching sound, and when he opened them again they were solid gold orbs, the man smiling widely. “… Mammon. Very good.” replied the Archduke of Hell.

Tex glared at him, “So… now what. Ya’ll wanna get revenge?” he glared at the demon.

Mammon looked at him, cocking his head, “… why, no. Why would I? Henry performed his duties exactly as requested for several lifetimes. He just got careless in the end is all.” he shrugged. “It was foolishness to waste so much time and effort on finding a journal that nobody else knew even existed…” he sighed, “But… well, that’s just so very human of him.” he smirked, walking over to the window and looking out over the casino. “I have everything I want right here. Henry is no longer necessary.”

Tex frowned, then the group walked over and looked out the window at the massive casino floor where slot machines beeped, cards were dealt, roulette wheels spinned, and more money changed hands in a single night than entire towns might see in a year. “Tell me children, what do you see when you look out this window?” asked Mammon.

Tex shrugged, “A casino, a gamblin’ hall.” he replied.

Mammon smiled, “I see… a prayer wheel. People come here every day and spend money chasing that dream, chasing the desire to gain something for nothing, the hope that they can become rich in a single night! Their greed permeates the building, turning it into a superconductor for my court back below.” he chuckled, “Henry got it all started, and I ensured that his business rivals and other obstacles went under, or were bought out, or… well… encountered accidents…”

Tex frowned at him, “Accidents like vampire attacks…” he glared, making sure to stay between Mammon and Stephy.

Mammon sighed, “I told the man not to… its not my fault he didn’t listen. Even had you not stopped Coyote and his men the police would certainly have investigated a family getting slaughtered like that.” he walked over to the mummified corpse of Henry McCall, “Henry you damned fool… Immortality made you careless.” he tutted, then waved a hand.

Henry McCall sat slumped in his chair, eyes rolled back and mouth hanging slack, clearly dead but looking otherwise perfectly normal. “There, the coroner’s report will show that he died of a weak blood vessel in his brain bursting. Very tragic, family history and all that.” he shook his head, “And then the board will appoint a new CEO of McCall Amusements and life will go on.” he chuckled, “Perhaps a nice statue of him, in bronze, in the floor of the casino. A little memorial to the last of the McCall family.”

Tex frowned, “And what about the people he killed then?” he demanded, stepping towards Mammon. “Yer just gonna ignore all that?” he asked.

Mammon turned to him, golden orbs meeting Tex’s blue eyes… and for a moment, Tex saw the man behind the curtain.

He stood before a giant of a man, his entire body gleaming gold with gemstones for teeth and on his finger and toenails, sitting atop a mountain of gold, jewels, and other treasures. His body shimmered with heat, and his chest split open to reveal he was totally empty inside. The manifestation of the hollow wealth that all men and women chase until their dying day, and how destructive that chase can truly be.

At his right was a goblet full of steaming blood, spilled by every mugger, every burglar, everyone who’d ever knifed another for their wallet. At his left was another goblet full of tears to the point he could smell the saltiness, the tears of those who died unable to afford their medicines because drug companies were allowed to overcharge for them, of those who worked themselves to death in mines or plantations for people who treated them as slaves, of those who suffered with barely enough to live because some rich CEO wanted more for themselves and to hell with anyone else.

Tex also realized that to a creature like Mammon, crushing him would be no different than stepping on an ant.

“Why yes. I am. What are you going to do about that young man?” asked Mammon’s voice, echoing in his skull, and suddenly he was back in the guise of Mr. Maroon. “I have no claim on your soul John ‘Tex’ Smith, unless you give it to me, and your companions are beyond Hell’s reach…” he glanced at the two fae, “… for now.” he smirked. “Go home. My casino will continue to generate power for my court, the new CEO will just be another faceless human in a suit. Your little ranch is safe from us. We have no reason to care now. Do give Merihim my regards however, we’re all watching his current job with great interest.” he nodded, waving his hand dismissively.

Stephy took hold of Tex’s shoulder, “We should go Tex… c’mon…” he said, nodding to the door as Mammon grinned at them, Sammi already retreating back to the elevator.

Tex glared back one last time, his hand going to the pocket that held the Very Useful Deck… then he thought better of it and turned on his heel. “He ain’t worth it…” he grumbled.

As the elevator went down Stephy blinked, looking at Sammi, “Wait, I flew Tex here, how are we gonna get back?” he asked.

Dawn just grinned, “That’s how.” she said, pointing a paw.

Parked outside was an SUV that the police were probably still looking for, a disgruntled warlock leaning against it.

The following day

If Joshua was able to, he’d be jumping for joy at the morning news. As it was he did a sort of little old man hobble dance around the kitchen as the newscaster announced local businessman Henry McCall was found dead in his penthouse.

“It is with deepest sadness that I announce the passing of our CEO.” said Mr. Maroon into a microphone on the TV, “Rest assured, there is no evidence of foul play. Henry McCall had a family history of medical complications and tragically one of them claimed his life last night. The board of directors will meet this Friday to name a new CEO to take his place, and we are beginning plans to divest his will. I myself will be helping to finance a memorial for the lobby for the man whose vision created such a successful business and so many jobs for the city of Houston.” he said.

Joshua cackled, “Maroon ya stuffed shirt ya’ll can SUCK IT! He’s dead! He’s dead ‘n gone ta Hell where he belongs! WHOOPIE!” cheered the old man, waving his cane.

Sammi shook his head, “Oh you have no idea…” he murmured, watching him dance and soaking up the emotions, tasting of fresh warm chocolate to the faerie’s senses.

Tara sighed, “Well, if that’s all sorted then we should prolly consider headin’ back north. It’ll be Fall soon ‘n I gotta worry ‘bout gettin’ Tex ‘n Stephy enrolled for school.”

At this Stephy sat up, “HUH? Wait, but…” he stammered.

Tara raised her eyebrow, “Sweetie, didja think you wouldn’t? Faerie or not, th’ rest o’ th’ world still thinks yer a young…” she looked him over, “… kid.”

Stephy pouted, “But Tara! I… I mean…” he gestured to himself.

Tex smirked, patting his hand, “It’ll be alright lil’ filly. Ya’ll be spendin’ th’ past few weeks like that ‘n nobody been th’ wiser about whats under them skirts. Besides, we live together remember? Where ya’ll go, I’ll go. Ya think I ain’t gonna watch out fer ya?” he grinned, kissing his cheek.

Stephy blushed brightly, then smiled and squirmed in his chair, “Fiiiine, I just… mmmph…” he giggled a bit, kicking his legs.

Sammi hissed a little, fanning himself, “Turn it down you two! That’s like sitting next to a bonfire for me! How do you not feel that?” he asked Stephy.

Stephy blinked, “… huh, that’s… a really good question.” he replied, “Maybe its because my title is different? Everfalling Snow?” he tried.

Sammi huffed, “Still fits the theme darling.” he sighed, “Oh well, it will be nice to get back to a part of the world that has proper seasons again at least.”

Tex smirked, “Ya’ll got us there Prince.” he chuckled, “Texas’ got ‘hot,’ ‘hotter,’ ‘hot ‘n wet,’ ‘n ‘maybe I could use a jacket.’” he nodded, grinning at Sammi’s annoyance.

After saying their goodbyes and a hug between the two Smith sisters, Tara’s truck pulled out of the drive, heading back towards the interstate north.

“Dang… just… is our life just gonna be crazy like that now?” asked Tex. “I mean, I knew comin’ back to see th’ family might be a little weird with th’ two of you in tow… but… that got kinda nuts…” he muttered.

Sammi chuckled, “Indeed… vampires, a train to the underworld, thwarting the Everblooming Rose, and facing down an Archduke himself…” he smirked, shaking his head, then threw it back and laughed, “I haven’t had so much fun in DECADES!” he grinned at them.

Stephy rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and all you had to do was chain me up and drag me off to Arcadia… how nice for you…” he huffed.

At that Sammi paused, “… if it does help, I do genuinely feel bad about that…” he admitted, “I was desperate to escape, you were there… I didn’t give any thought to who I was grabbing, just that it meant someone else would be there instead of me…” he murmured, glancing away out the back window.

Tex and Tara huffed, the former looking pointedly out the window as Tara pursed her lips and focused on the road, but Stephy nodded slowly. “Yeah… I get it, I saw how terrified that changeling back in Houston was that Isolde would catch her and I remember what Lady Sera did to me… but… I wanna believe that I can actually show her what it really means to be a mother.”

Sammi shrugged, “Well, why not? After this week I’d almost believe you could pull it off.” he smirked.

Tex smiled, patting Stephy’s hand, “Hey, he helped me out in all sorts of ways.” he grinned, knocking his fist into his chest to show what wasn’t there anymore. “Maybe mah lil’ filly can do it.” he smiled.

Stephy smiled back at him, then leaned into Tex, “Still. I hope we’re back north soon… the air conditioner is going full blast and I still feel like I can barely breathe in here." he pouted.

Sammi smirked, “Oh I can fix thaaaaaaat.” he smiled, then raised his hand… a moment later Tara and Tex yelped as a localized snowstorm materialized INSIDE the truck!

“SON OF A BITCH!” shouted Tara as the truck swerved on the thankfully empty dirt road back towards Houston.

“SAM YA FREAKIN’ IDIOT!” growled Tex.

Stephy eeped and held on as the truck swerved, “I-I appreciate it Sammi, but can’t you just make it cooler instead?”

Sammi chuckled, catching some snow, then licking it out of his hand. “Oh? But its so pleasant in here now! Besides, aren’t you the princess of ‘Everfalling Snow?’” he teased.

Stephy giggled at that, he couldn’t help it, even as Tara and Tex cursed, brushing snow off their laps and arms. He was sarcastic, annoying, and hard to deal with… but dammit, sometimes brothers just were. The windows rolled down and snow was shoved out onto the road to melt into nothingness in the Texas heat as the Smith Family, plus one, returned home.

Next Story

Previous Story

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (20)

They all turn to stare at him.

“Dear? How do you know that?” Okaa-san says.

Otou-san shakes his head and sits down heavily on the stairs. “The manufacturer for those weapons is in Yukigakure. Just like the incriminating ryo left at the scene of that theft.”

Oh.

Oh sweet Merry.

She mutters, “Shika said—when we were talking about the theft, he said it had to be an inside job, because an outsider couldn’t know anything. But if they were like me—if they’d read the comic based on Konoha in their past life, they would know. They’d know almost everything even if they never set foot here.”

She swallows, throat suddenly dry. “If it was plot-relevant, then they’d know more about what was valuable and how it was defended than people who’d lived here their whole lives. They’d even know the weaknesses of the ninja sent after them, if those ninja were major characters.”

Otou-san nods. “And if he or she needed to finance the manufacture of those weapons, what could be easier than to steal something from here and sell it to another hidden village?”

She sits down heavily on the stairs.

Her heart’s pounding too fast. The side of her head is throbbing in time with the beat.

“Well.” Okaa-san coughs. “That’s mildly terrifying.”

She lets out a humorless chuckle at the understatement.

Horror wars with elation in her brain. Elation at the knowledge that she isn’t alone here.

Horror at the idea of someone knowing everything about this place and deciding to use that knowledge for their own gain. If robbing Konoha wasn’t low for them, would they stoop to manipulating Naruto, Sakura, Uchiha? To hurting them to get their way, change a narrative they don’t like?

“But Iruka-sensei said Yukigakure gave us those guns for less money than they gave them to other villages.” Naruto says suddenly. “Maybe that’s the not-Mayu’s way of making it up to us?”

“You think villains who would commit such an unyouthful action would be capable of feeling guilt?” Lee says doubtfully. “Shouldn’t we tell Gai-sensei about this?”

“We can.” Otou-san sighs. “But I’m not sure how helpful it would be. Nara-san said Yamanaka-san knew about the Yuki connection between both the theft and these “guns”. For all we know, the price reduction could be a concession negotiated between the Hokage and the thief, and we just have a morsel of knowledge about that deal which would endanger Mayu more than it would help the village.”

She fidgets, tracing the scar on her lower lip.

Lee’s brows are furrowed, his mouth pulled down in a frown.

Okaa-san reaches out and smooths a hand over his hair. “Why don’t we get Ichiraku’s and sleep on it? I think Sanji would agree we’ll all make better decisions with some ramen in our bellies.”

Naruto springs to his feet. “Yeah! Ramen’ll fix everything, believe it! C’mon, I’m hungry, let’s go, let’s go!”

It doesn’t quite fix everything, she reflects later as she descales and fillets the pike for the offerings tomorrow. There’s still another reincarnated person who robbed the village, had her father take the fall for their crime, and is now mass-producing the very weapon that killed her past self, which they can do next to nothing about.

But ramen smoothed out the crease in Lee’s brow when they all agreed it was better to tell Gai-sensei than not. It lightened the mood and made everything this day had thrown at them seem a little less important in light of the celebrations planned for tomorrow.

Their small garden is now even smaller thanks to the a large wooden structure that sits next to the back fence.

It’s a bit like a cross between a shed and a greenhouse, if it only had three walls and no doors or windows. The roof is curved and the walls are sturdy, to protect the shrines inside from the elements.

There’s a length of thick white rope fastened with red twine inside the front gable, which is meant to ensure that the shrines are protected from malicious spirits.

Each one of the shrines has a small building that is sealed automatically once the shrine has been assembled, keeping a small object for the deity to inhabit safely locked away from prying eyes. There’s a small recess before this structure, for offerings to be placed, and a little column that puts them above the eye level of a kneeling person.

They’d debated setting aside a space for the shrines in the living room inside the house, to ensure they could be protected and cared for. But she kept getting impulses of outside, of wind and rain, freedom, that eventually they decided it was better than keeping them cooped up inside.

Plus this way, Luffy can’t raid the fridge as easily.

She’s already found certain small cuts of cooked meat have gone missing. If he’s anything like the manga, then she’s not giving him the chance to clean out the entire fridge.

They’ve been working on constructing it and the shrines on weekends and in the mornings during training. According to Gai-sensei, it’s excellent practice for C-rank missions.

Now all that’s left is to paint the structure and the ten shrines housed within.

Working out what to set out as offerings for tomorrow had been a challenge and a half.

For the most part, the Strawhats can be grouped into small sections of what they will and won’t eat.

Nami and Chopper are fruit lovers. Sanji, Zoro, Brook and Usopp are partial to seafood. Luffy, Franky, and Robin are happy with beef and other land-based meats.

However, Zoro, Sanji and Brook like varieties of seafood that are difficult to get in Konoha— octopus, lobster and prawns are expensive and hard to find, while sea king meat just doesn’t exist here. At least Zoro is happy enough with a traditional plate-2-bowls meal with rice.

Robin prefers sandwiches, and she’s not quite sure if the burgers Franky loves fit into that criteria. Chopper can’t stand spicy or bitter foods, but Zoro and Robin dislike sweets.

She’s just thankful that Luffy, Nami Usopp, and Merry are so easy to feed. Pike’s one of the few fish that Konoha doesn’t need to import, so it and tangerines relatively inexpensive.

There’s no chance of combining all their preferences into one dish. Her head hurts just imagining the clash of flavors.

So she had to somehow come up with a way of creating a meal that would (hopefully) make each of the pirates she idolizes happy.

No pressure.

Chouji ended up being her savior in this respect.

And maybe Uchiha did as well, but only a teeny tiny bit.

She’d been brainstorming different versions of meals she could try making that would satisfy everyone, but kept coming up short.

The added tension from Sakura’s friendly-again-but-still-not-quite-sitting-back-at-their-table thing at this time wasn’t exactly helping her think either.

“I’ve got cola, coffee, tea, heck even sake, but still no idea on what to pair any of them with.” She complained, tapping her pencil against the list in front of her.

Chouji had leaned over, a thoughtful look on his face. “Why not make them lunchboxes? That way you can make lots of things in smaller amounts and personalize each lunchbox for each of them.”

“Hm. That is a good idea.” She gnawed on her lower lip. “Only downside is working out when I can cook what and how much time the preparation of each portion is going so everything in the bentos is relatively fresh for when it’s offered... how much d’you think eleven more lunchboxes would cost?”

She’d just begun sketching out lines for a tentative timetable when Uchiha complained, “Why do you think you’ve gotta do everything on your own?”

She looked up, a little offended. “I’m not praying for help with this, are you mad? That’d be like asking someone to bake their own birthday cake.”

“What Sasuke means,” Chouji intervened. “Is that we could always split the work three-ways between us, and bring it to your house on the day?”

She blinked. “You...you guys would help me like that?”

Chouji smiled, then made a squeak of surprise when she lunged over the table to hug him tightly. “Thank you.”

“I have lunchboxes to spare.” Uchiha drawled. “Plus someone’s got to make sure you don’t mess up.”

She had then let Chouji go so she could boot Uchiha in the shin.

As a result of this arrangement, when she wakes up on The Day, all she has to worry about is preparing the pasta for Sanji, Nami and Usopp’s lunchboxes after training with Gai-sensei.

She’s almost worried that her timining be a little delayed because Gai-sensei grabs her in a bone-creaking hug when she arrives at training and spends about three minutes weeping over how youthful she is.

He then makes them run fifty times around the village balancing the paint pots they’ll be using later to ensure that the paint is agitated enough “so its most YOUTHFUL colors will shine through!!”

They nearly lose the purple when Naruto fumbles slightly over a root.

She bolts down her food at breakfast.

She puts on more rice again in preparation for the sesame onigiri, and pulls out a pot to fill with water that’s set to boil and a pan to gently heat some oil on the stove.

She smashes a clove of garlic and drops it in when the oil has begun to smoke gently, deseeding and dicing up some chilis and tossing them in as well for flavor.

She can’t help her grin when the heady spicy-savory scent fills the air, finely chopping capers and anchovies to toss in once she’s fished out the smashed garlic.

The scent mellows somewhat when the diced pike hits the pan as well, and she pushes it around until the fish is almost-but-not-quite cooked through.

Then in with a generous glug of wine and the heat is turned down to a gentle simmer to let the alcohol cook off.

Just in time for the rice to have cooked and cooled enough to begin mixing with yellow and black sesame seeds and begin forming into ten onigiri.

They don’t have any fillings other than the sesame, because they’re designed to take the edge off the stronger flavors of the pasta (her) and the takoyaki (Chouji), as well as serve as a substitute for a sesame topped bun accompanying the hamburger steaks (Uchiha).

The others begin to arrive at around ten.

Sakura and the Harunos arrive first alongside Ino and her dad.

She shouts a hello as Naruto and Lee lead Ino and Sakura through the kitchen to the back garden, nails orange with peeled tangerine.

Ino darts forward and steals two slices, chortling in response to her indignant “Oi!” and passing one to Sakura, who grins as she nibbles on their way out.

Yamanaka-san is totally at home chatting with Gai-sensei and Otou-san, but he snickers when Nara-san immediately gravitates towards him when he arrives. Shikamaru gives her a nod as he follows the adults outside and she puts the pasta on to boil.

She’s set aside two extra tangerines for when Shino and his father arrive. After all, she, Chouji and Uchiha are making enough to feed eleven deities and many many people, so shouldn’t their insects also be able to eat as well?

Shino’s dad stares at her inscrutably when she explains her reasoning, before accepting the fruit with a nod and a “thank you” barely audible over a loud buzzing.

Shino shifts from one foot to the other during this exchange before gently tugging his father’s sleeve. It occurs to her as she drains the pot-full pasta and adds the sauce alongside a cup of boiling water to emulsify everything that this might be the closest she’s ever seen him to being embarrassed.

Chouji and his dad arrive as she’s sprinkling in some parsley as a finishing touch.

They’re both carrying huge containers full of takoyaki and cooked spring greens, and she spares a small moment to be envious of all the amazing things Chouji’s family can afford to do.

Then she launches Chouji another hug to thank him for all his help once he’s set his cargo down.

He squeaks like he did last time and Akimichi-san laughs loudly, for some reason.

Iruka-sensei and Uchiha arrive with eleven lunchboxes, two dogs, Kiba and his mum, and Hinata in tow.

Uchiha keeps sneaking what appear to be morsels of meat to Akamaru and Kuromaru.

There’s also a pale-eyed frowning boy who Iruka-sensei introduces as Hyuuga Neji, Hinata’s cousin who’d been sent along to act as her chaperone.

The boy sniffs disdainfully when they greet him and goes to stand in a corner of the garden near Mebuki, completely ignoring Lee when he waves to him.

She doesn’t think she likes Hinata’s cousin very much.

The lunchboxes Uchiha brought are black lacquer decorated with gold and red tomoe, much fancier than anything she’d been expecting.

When questioned, he just shrugs and says, “It’s just old stuff from New Year’s. It’s just taking up space at home, so it’s better off here.”

She knows better than to say anything like “sorry”, so she just pats his shoulder and says “No, that compartment’s too small for the onigiri, put it in this one.”

“That’s way too big, it looks tiny in that one.” Uchiha snaps, but with a bit less bite than usual.

Iruka-sensei looks mildly overwhelmed by all the people in the back garden. Okaa-san comes along, hands him a drink, pats his shoulder and says “They’re in my house,” in a sympathetic tone.

Iruka-sensei gives her a pitying look and knocks the sake back in one go.

Adults here can be weird.

Finally they’ve finished serving and she calls out “Food’s up!”

The adults come in to help take the larger platters of food outside, a huge plate of pasta, several smaller hamburger steaks in the style of what they’d call “sliders” in her world, and mound upon mound of takoyaki and spring greens and tangerines.

There’s a clamor outside as people begin getting their portions.

She, Chouji and Uchiha are each balancing either three or four lunchboxes per person as they take them outside.

Sakura is helping Kiba paint a pattern of cherry blossoms across Chopper’s already vibrantly pink shrine. Evidence of her handiwork on Robin’s shrine is clear is the decoration of swirling petals and the streaks of matching purple paint all over her forehead.

Ino and Naruto obviously have had a battle over the orange judging by the splashes on their hands and clothing. On the plus side Nami and Luffy’s shrines are looking particularly colorful.

Shikamaru and Hinata are splotched with green, light blue and black-and-white. Lee is smudged with brown, cyan and white paint and beaming proudly.

Shino has yellow paint on the end of his nose and is looking at the detailed illustrations of insects on the sides with pride.

The only shrines that aren’t quite done are Sanji’s, which has a blue overcoat but no decoration, and Zoro’s which doesn’t have half its roof painted yet.

“We were waiting,” Naruto says, holding out two buckets of green paint and blue respectively, “For you guys to add your bits.”

She beams at him.

Of course, Uchiha has to ruin it by immediately grabbing the green.

“What?” He says, offloading his three lunchboxes onto Kiba. “I’ll give it back once I’m finished with it.”

Ino rolls her eyes and shoulders her paintbrush, adding another orange splotch to her outfit. “Ugh. I’ll help Mayu-chan, it’s better to get it done quickly. Let’s go before the food gets cold.”

Orange, red, and yellow fish on the blue background are much more vibrant and eye-catching than green, though Uchiha does “help” by flicking the paintbrush at her while she’s distracted.

In thanks, she smears yellow on the back of his neck.

After the extra decorations are finished, Lee, Sakura and Kiba redistribute the lunchboxes to make their offerings.

The only problem is there’s eleven of them and ten lunchboxes.

“You all go ahead.” She steps back. “I’ll do the next bit.”

Each one of them place the pirate lunchboxes down in front of the shrines and step back.

For some reason, she feels like traditional prayers and chants appropriated from the sage guy won’t really be all that welcoming to them.

But then, what? What could help them feel at home at these shrines, so far from the sea?

Her gaze falls on Brook’s shrine.

Oh.

Oh, well it’s obvious when it’s put like that, isn’t it?

She just hopes she remembers the words correctly. She doesn’t want to butcher them on accident.

“Yohohoho, yohohoho~ Yohohoho, yohohoho~”

Her voice sounds frail and quiet, and she can feel everyone’s eyes on her. Still, she stumbles through the last two refrains of yohohoho’s to the first verse.

“Binksu no sake wo, todokei ni yuku yo, umikaze, kimakase, namimakase~ Shio no mukou de, yuhi wo sawagu, sora nya, wao kaku tori no uta~”

Naruto joins in on the next verse, singing along slightly out of tune and mixing up some of the words.

His cheeks look as flushed as hers feel, and it’s hard not to giggle when they catch each other’s eyes. Somehow they both manage to keep singing.

Gai-sensei and Lee boisterously shout DON alongside them as they join as well, Gai-sensei’s voice strong and sure, while Lee’s volume makes up for any deficiencies in wording. She almost can’t hear Okaa-san’s melodious voice and Otou-san’s decidedly tone-deaf one join in on the second set of Yohohoho’s over their noise.

Sakura and Ino’s voices are both high-pitched, but they carry the tune well enough. So does Kiba, though he’s pitching up to a falsetto for some reason. Hinata’s voice is soft, but she’s genuinely singing, unlike Shikamaru and Sasuke who’re mumbling through all the bits apart from the yohohoho’s. Shino is monotone if precise and enthusiastic, while Chouji has a surprising set of pipes on him.

Akamaru is just howling to the beat. And with that accompaniment, how could anyone stop themselves from singing along?

It feels like more people than could possibly fit into their house and garden are bellowing Bink’s Sake together by the time they’ve reached the third set of Yohohoho’s.

It can’t exactly be called “harmonious”. Everyone’s a little out of tune, a little off beat.

But the mixing of all the voices of her family and friends feels so right, it makes her voice stronger, lets her sing louder.

She opens her eyes and nearly chokes on the next note.

Hovering in front of the brightly painted shrines, slightly faded but gaining color and substance with every passing moment, They stand.

Merry appears in all her glory, as if in mid- sail. Brook is playing his violin, a foot tapping to the beat. Franky is winding up for his SUPA pose, grinning broadly. Robin is resting a hand on Chopper’s hat. Chopper himself is peeking at them the wrong way round from Robin’s leg.

Sanji’s tapping out his cigarette with a grin and giving a small salute. Usopp is waving to them, like a captain would to his 8,000 followers. Nami’s blowing a kiss as if to adoring fans.

Zoro...is climbing over the garden fence and jogging to take his place in front his shrine next to the others. Nami shoots him a Look while Luffy laughs at him, sitting in mid air and clapping his feet together.

The Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates then turns to her and gives her a wide grin.

She blinks away tears as he and his crew fade away with the last notes of the song.

The food in the lunchboxes is gone.

The food on Naruto’s plate is also gone.

In fact, all the food in the immediate vicinity appears to be gone.

It’s just that Naruto looks down at his plate and yells in indignation first.

She lets out a wet laugh. “Darn it Luffy.”

[mingyou]

AAAAAA HES SO CUTE BUT WHY DO I TRY

[ellaofoakhill]

Oak and Stone, Part Two

Oak and Stone was a bustling town, with fey and creatures briskly going about their business. There were mice like Jasper here, as well as voles, weasels, ground squirrels, tree squirrels, stoats, a few bats, and many other creatures Ella knew.

As well as a few she didn’t.

Creatures like the lizards Ella had encountered on Gaea, or a bit more commonly on Fey. But no lizard she’d heard of had four arms. The smallest of these was a head taller than her. Tusks twisted down from their jaws. Their bodies were a uniform grey-brown or mottled green, with frills on their jaws and crests on their heads, which many had painted or tattooed or pierced with rings and studs. According to Meline, they called themselves drakles, and most of those in Oak and Stone were sailors.

What most surprised Ella about this place—unknown beings were really to be expected—was the abundance of elves. Well, relatively speaking; abundance was not a word that fit well with elves. But there were more of them here than Ella had ever seen outside of Fey. To be fair, impeccable manners and upturned noses aside, elves were known more than anything for their love of the sea. And the sea Oak and Stone did have in abundance.

Meline showed her down to the shipyards, where vessels from across this world—the drakles called it Nidd—docked and unloaded their goods. These went to the seaside market, a paved square by the water with a stream running through. The stream allowed smaller boats to paddle or pole into town and drop their goods right by the stalls.

There were fabrics Ella had never seen, some softer than velvet, others smoother than silk, still others so strong Ella’s knife couldn’t cut them; according to Meline, those needed crystal-edged scissors to cut into shape. There were spices alien to Ella’s nose and tongue, including one somewhere between lemon and banana that she particularly liked; Meline laughed at the incredulous delight that flashed across Ella’s face when she tasted it. There were strange rocks and shells, scales shed by massive beasts, and gems that seemed commonplace here which Ella had only read about. There was a wood here, one a fairy could mould with her bare hands while it was green—or, more accurately, orange—and once it seasoned became like fairy silver. Ella shaved the hair from her arm with a knife made from it. There were metals as well—the mayor had banned the import of iron for all but a few specialized purposes—but this claywood, as it was called, was so easy to work hardly anyone used any metal not found as a nugget.

The moonbeams were strange too. Nidd had four moons and two suns, and each moon made beams different not only from Gaea’s moon, but from Nidd’s other moons as well.

Beyond the market were shops. There was a shop bordering the market that sold crepes filled with berry and honeyed cream; Ella laughed at the white moustache on Meline’s upper lip. Another sold kebabs of sweet and spicy fruits, of roots savoury, sweet, and spicy, and of the spiced meats of different fish and insects, or whatever the equivalent was here.

There were shops that sold fine berry wines, cordials, and ciders, and shops that sold candied chocolate mixed with granules of nuts and dried fruits. There was stronger drink as well, but Ella had hardly more than a sip of a spiced liqueur that made her fingers and toes tingle. Too much made a fool of anyone, and Ella was in a town she didn’t know, in a world she didn’t know, surrounded by fey and creatures she didn’t know.

And Meline knew a great deal about this town in another world. Many shopkeepers and stall-owners in the market waved or greeted her by name, and she knew not only them, but their families, and how business was doing. And she presented it all masterfully.

After they were quite full, Meline led Ella across the bridge and out of the square. Ella had heard the sounds of industry from this section of town for some time, but she suspected Meline had been building toward this.

Ella worked a wide variety of metals, woods, and some fabrics, but would have freely admitted her grasp of other materials was lacking. She saw a water fairy weaving six different materials into one cloth, a mole and a frog setting gemstones into a brooch, a squat, spiny

local—they called themselves ekidnes, according to Meline—throwing a clay pot, and a squirrel blowing glass.

Meline led Ella around a corner, and Ella’s fingers thrummed to the melody of hammer on metal. A shop with a sign depicting a hammer and anvil drew her. Beneath a slate lean-to, a drakle so green he was almost yellow held a bronze bar in two pairs of tongs while his upper arms operated a hammer and punch. Ella watched as he twisted and worked the cherry-red metal into a whorl of vines and leaves. He’d already finished the central portion, which had what looked like three vines braided around each other. He had two trays of tools in easy reach, and the fluidity and precision with which he picked up and set down tools—hardly taking his eyes off his work—gave Ella to know this drakle might have plied his trade as long as she had.

Finally he set the piece on a frame and stood, reaching for the ceiling. His crest and frills were bright red. He wore a thick apron, and heavy trousers with a third leg for his tail. He wore a grey sleeveless shirt with two wide armholes.

His eye wandered in their direction. “Ah, Meline,” he said, stepping out from under the awning, “good to see you again.” He had a thick, unfamiliar accent, with something of a lisp.

Meline went forward and took his hands—well, two of them, anyway—with a bow. “And you, Art.” She turned to Ella. “Ella, this is Arthur Bronzemonger, the best metalworker in Oak and Stone.”

Ella bowed. “It’s always nice to meet another of my kind.”

Meline turned back to Art. “Art, this is Lord Ella of Oakhill. She recently did me a great service, and to repay her I’m showing her around town.” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Her smithing might give you a run for your money.”

Art raised a pair of scaly eyebrows as he took Ella’s hands and bowed. A forked tongue flicked out of his mouth. “You smell of metal, charcoal, and wood—mostly oak, but also willow and poplar—but you have overlaid it with lavender.” Ella reflexively moved back from the tongue. Art’s eyes widened, and he sucked it back into his mouth. His frill reddened more. “Forgive me. Fairies are new to Nidd, and your ways do not always come easily.”

“I could forgive a smith of your caliber far worse than a small eccentricity,” Ella said. She felt a flush creep up her neck. “Could you��� would you honour me by showing us around your forge?”

Art’s eyes gleamed. “I would be delighted to show another smith my work.”

“Then lead on, good sir!” Ella said.

Arthur reached for a clay pitcher by a sturdy door leading into what was probably his house. “Would you like a glass of ice water?” he asked. “Smithing is good work, but hot.”

“How do you keep your ice?” Meline’s ear-points wiggled. With interest, as far as Ella could tell.

“Carters bring the ice down the mountain packed in crates with sawdust,” Art said as he opened the door to his cellar and hopped down. He came back up with several finger-sized chunks of ice, dropped one in each glass, and put the rest in his pitcher. “and I put it in my ice

box downstairs.” He took a long draught from his cup. Ella noticed his frill start to pale. “You can also have a water fairy freeze some water for you. But the genuine article tastes better. Now,” he rubbed two of his four hands together, “let me show you some of my projects.”

Hanging from the ceiling was a bronze-bladed scythe. On two hooks on the far wall were a pair of axes, one with a silver head, the other copper. Tools of various kinds hung on the wall, including a number Meline was unfamiliar with; the only one that stumped Ella turned out to be a set of scale clippers. A pair of silver shields shaped like gigantic scales intrigued her.

Art, unsurprisingly, proved a fount of knowledge regarding his craft. There were a few points he was unable to clarify for Ella, though she suspected this was due more to a slight want in his vocabulary than a lack of understanding. He’d no trouble making silver and gold as hard and strong as any fairy.

“I have a question,” Meline said, as she examined a set of caterpillar shears. Art and Ella both raised their eyes from the minutia of a serpentine-handled camp knife (which had a blade below the municipal length limit).

“What is it?” Art said.

Meline looked around the shop. “You have a lot of high-quality items here.”

Art’s eyes lit with understanding. “You are wondering how, in a busy port town, I keep thieves from walking away with my wares.” Meline nodded. Art looked between her and Ella. Ella felt her own eyes widen as a thought occurred to her.

“We’ve just met,” Ella said, “so I understand if you’re uncomfortable talking about the security of your forge. I don’t tell strangers about mine, either.”

Art smiled; Ella hadn’t realized a drakle’s grin split its head in two. He gave a coughing, raspy laugh. “From anyone else, I might have taken the question amiss.” He shook his head. “I will not go into details,” he lowered his voice. “But it stems from my kind being dragonkin.”

Ella felt the blood drain from her face. She remembered from long ago the whump of colossal wings, a roar that shook the bowels of the world, a column of flame so hot it burned white. A pair of eyes larger than she was, a five-part pupil so huge it could have swallowed her, slamming shut as the flame poured out. And a voice, so deep Ella felt it in her bones, howling fire and blood.

“Ella?” She jumped at Meline’s touch on her shoulder. Judging by her and Art’s concerned looks, she’d been elsewhere for a while.

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said, handing the knife back to Art. “Dragons have occasionally wandered into Fey.”

“And massacred and extorted everyone they could, I would guess?” Art asked. Ella nodded. “It is good to know, I suppose, that they are consistent.” Art hung the knife back on the wall. “They have been exacting the same cruelty on us since before our most ancient writings.”

He refilled their cups. “I have set foot beyond Nidd thrice in my life. Once to visit Gaea and learn a special technique for forging steel.” He held up a hand. “I have not used it in Oak and Stone, if anyone asks. Twice I visited Fey; yes, I visited your home world. Once when I was

still in my father’s care, and much later with my wife.” He sipped his water. “And it seems to me both worlds are less wild than mine. Though still full of dangerous creatures, I’m sure.

“Dragons are the worst, though wyverns and drakes are plenty vicious. Wyrms cause serious problems, though they usually stay deep underground. Sea wyrms are actually good to deal with; we give them baubles," he gestured to the silver shields, “and they leave our fishing vessels in peace. And the lung are kindly creatures.”

Ella leaned back. “So… this is where the lung come from?”

Art and Meline both stared at her. “I mean, yes,” Art said. “But they are rare on Gaea, much like the dragons, yes?”

Ella nodded. “I saw one once, shortly after I left Fey.” She sipped her water. “It danced on the clouds, even though it had no wings. And it conjured rainclouds as it danced, weaving in the sky like a glittering ribbon.”

She met Art’s eye. “They’re so different from dragons, I never made the connection before.”

Art shrugged. “Understandable. Take away the long bodies and scaly hides and there is hardly any similarity.” He looked at his own scaly hide. “But kin we all are.”

Ella did not ask which drakles were closer to, dragon or lung. Maybe they didn’t know. Either way, it seemed an unpleasant topic.

[petculiars]

Is it Safe to Give Ham Bones to Your Dog? Any Risks?

New Post has been published on https://www.petculiars.com/is-it-safe-to-give-ham-bones-to-your-dog/

Is it Safe to Give Ham Bones to Your Dog? Any Risks?

I`m sure it has happened lots of times for you to eat a delicious ham for dinner and then think about giving the bones to your dog. But should you? Well, it turns out you should never give bones from ham to your dog!

Give this article a read to understand exactly why dogs can’t eat ham bones and why you should opt for other foods instead.

A supervised diet

You should always treat dogs as big babies. This means that you will always have to be careful what and how much you’re feeding them. When a dog receives a bone it will not know when to stop chewing on it. The bone might cause injuries to its gums, tongue, or the inside of the mouth when it breaks into pieces so if the dog has had any bones, you should really keep an eye out for any discomfort or bleeding. If you notice any signs of pain or discomfort or things don’t look just right, you should take your pet to the vet, but only after throwing the bone away from the dog’s sight.

You might also like my articles on whether dogs can eat spicy food, chestnuts, or Alfredo sauce.

But TVs have taught us that dogs always chew on bones, right? Although we’ve seen a lot of shows, movies, and cartoons portraying dogs eating bones, recent studies done by the FDA have proven that this is yet another thing that TVs have gotten wrong. According to Carmela Stamper, D.V.M. at the Center for Veterinary Medicine, Food and Drug Administration, although people think there’s nothing wrong in giving big bones like those from a roast or a ham to dogs, these are very unsafe regardless of their size.

It might only take a bone for your dog to need urgent consultation at the vet, emergency surgery, or even worse. It gets to the point that the FDA is warning people to keep ham away from their dog’s reach and make sure that the pet doesn’t have meat without first checking it for bones.

Why it isn’t a good idea to feed ham bones to your dog?

When giving your dog bones coming from either cooked or raw ham, you should also prepare for a possible visit to the vet. Ham bones are known to be very frail and will usually break a lot quicker than those from other types of meat. If your dog either breaks the bone in its mouth or swallows a piece of the bone, this can cause injury or an internal obstruction that can become fatal really quickly. Feeding your dog bones from ham or other meats can lead to other health problems, as shown below:

Your dog might break its teeth if it chews on a strong bone too hard. You might think that going to the dentist as a human would be expensive but wait until you find out how much it will cost to treat your dog’s broken tooth. While your dog is working on swallowing the bone piece, it might get stuck in its food pipe. This can lead to vomiting, gagging, and an agitated dog, or even worse!

If parts of the bone will reach the dog’s windpipe and get stuck there, this would be considered a medical emergency because your dog will have a really hard time breathing. This should warrant an immediate visit to the vet.

If your dog swallows a bigger piece of bone but this piece is too big to pass through the stomach, you will also have to take the dog to the vet for an endoscopy and in some cases even surgery to get that bone piece out.

Eating bones can also lead to constipation. Although this condition is easy to detect and cure, it is rather unpleasant for the dog. The most obvious sign of constipation is an impossibility of passing stool. This is due to the calcium content of the bone, which would harden the feces of the pet. In extreme cases, this too can get you with your dog at the vet’s office.

Your dog might also suffer from mouth, tongue, or gum injuries from sharp bone splinters. These will cause a lot of blood to come out and will be really painful. They will translate in a visit to the vet if the splinter doesn’t get out on its own.

Even if the stomach let the bone pass through, what about the intestines? If the bone piece gets stuck in the intestines, this is a really serious problem that will require immediate surgery.

A less serious problem but still one you should know about is pieces of bone getting stuck around the lower jaw of the animal. This is painful for your pet and might even need the attention of a vet if the bone piece doesn’t get unstuck by itself.

Another issue you should keep in mind is blood in stools or around the bottom of the dog. If you notice blood in these areas, don’t waste time. Go to the vet because it might mean an internal injury that can become a severe, life-threatening issue.

Peritonitis is a serious condition that happens when bone pieces will create holes in the dog’s intestines or stomach, enabling bacteria to infect the area. This is another issue that can become fatal.

Eating ham bones might also cause your dog to develop pancreatitis, which is basically an inflammation of the pet’s pancreas. This is mainly due to the fact that ham has a lot of fat and all that fat will put pressure on the pancreas. Ignored for enough time, this condition can become fatal.

I would also talk about bloating issues. Although these don’t sound serious, they can transform into severe problems if ignored for too long. The high salt content from the ham and the ham bone will cause the dog to dehydrate, which would make it drink too much water and get bloated and full of gas. More severe cases can even have your dog get a twisted stomach.

These are just some of the health problems you might have to deal with if your dog were to eat bones. And I`m not talking only about ham bones. almost all types of bones are just as bad.

Some safer alternatives to bones

A good substitute for bones is nylabones, made entirely of nylon. Also, rawhide bones will work pretty great as well.

A lot of experienced dog owners also prefer to give their dogs dental bones or dog chews instead of real bones from animals.

If you can’t be convinced not to feed your dog with natural bones, then you should at least go for softer ones, like those coming from chickens. You can also try to find bones that still have plenty of meat on them so the dog gets full and stops chewing before reaching the hard part of the bone.

You should also try to understand if your dog prefers to just munch on things or is an actual chewer. Depending on what your dog likes, you can then decide on the actual texture and size of the bone that would work best for it.

Never let your dog alone with a bone. Keep it in check and make sure you throw the bone as soon as the dog seems to have gotten bored of it or it has caused the animal any type of discomfort.

it’s better to visit a vet to figure out the best bone type for your dog than to be forced to visit them in an emergency situation because of something that went wrong.

The article above should be enough for you to understand whether your dog can eat either cooked or raw ham bones and how safe they really are.

[impracticaldemon]

Be the Dragon Slayer, Chapter 8: “Maid to Order, Part II”

fanfiction by Impracticaldemon written for @nalufever (Happy Birthday!!)

Rated: M (for sexual content) Words: ~ 2200   Read on  AO3 | FFnet

A/Note: Written for DancesWithSeatbelts aka @nalufever (tumblr) for her birthday. You wanted to know what happened next, since the story obviously wasn't quite finished (and neither were Natsu and Lucy!).

Follows directly after Maid to Order (written for Nalu Love Fest 2017).

Maid to Order, Part II Prompts: Role Play (Main), Lust, Chains

When Lucy returned from the kitchen, she was carrying a plate with a massive heap of fried potatoes, the thick wedges crisp and glistening with herb-flecked oil. Natsu could also smell a marinated roast of some kind, but apparently he'd have to wait for that. He was curious as to how he was going to eat his meal, since he had no cutlery, but he'd decided that his 'maid' would no doubt instruct him.

Lucy set the plate down in front of him and then solemnly re-linked their wrists with the thin chain. Natsu once again felt the not-quite-static of the magic in the chain. This time it brought with it a wave of arousal, as his body remembered the way Lucy had led him into the bathroom to 'wash' and the way her tongue had felt on his body.

Meanwhile, Lucy was bowing deeply again. Her cheeks were still a little flushed, but her expression was calm.

"I will now feed you, Master." She slid carefully, but deliberately across his lap so that she was straddling him. Then she twisted, her breasts just inches from his face, and picked up a golden wedge. "First, this one must make sure that the Master's food is well-prepared and not dangerous."

Natsu immediately anticipated that Lucy would make a performance of eating the potato wedge, but he hadn't expected her to start by licking delicately at the coating, her pink tongue at first barely touching the surface and then moving more… firmly. It was just like her to know how much he enjoyed savoury foods and to turn that to her advantage. Bananas might be more traditional for this kind of performance, but... Natsu found himself thinking that he'd never be able to look at fries the same way again. He squirmed a little and moved his hands to Lucy's hips, wondering why she'd even bothered helping him back on with his trousers. Lucy immediately stopped what she was doing.

"Master must not interfere with the tasting," she said in an admonishing tone. Although she did nothing that Natsu could make out, a current of energy seemed to pulse in the chain links around his wrist, making him blink. It wasn't quite painful, but it found a way to resonate in his bones that was uncomfortable.

"You're making it hard to sit still Luce," he muttered. Then he smirked—it was a dumb, obvious joke, but difficult to resist. "Or just making it hard."

Lucy leaned forward, her body pressing tightly against his chest and abdomen. She bent her mouth to his ear.

"Master must not be rude. He must be very, very good." Her breath was warm and moist, and her lips and teeth teased his skin; he turned his head in order to nip at her neck, but there was another pulse of magic, stronger this time, and the silvery bracelet seemed to tighten of its own volition. "Now then," Lucy continued, still murmuring gently into his ear, "time for Master to eat."

She sat up again, and Natsu discovered that somehow, at some point while they'd been pressed together, she'd unhooked her bra. A wriggle sent the pale blue lace off her breasts and down her arms. She pulled one hand free—the one that wasn't chained—and reached for the food.

Natsu was fighting not to reach for Lucy's breasts. For the first time that he could remember, he found it difficult to swallow his food, as Lucy pressed the warm, delicious potato wedges into his mouth with fingers that soon glistened with oil. Every time she moved to pick up another piece, her nipples grazed him and his hands twitched.

"Is it not good?" she asked after a while, appearing to pout. "Does Master not like his food?" She leaned forward and licked his lips, and then used her whole mouth to taste his more fully. "Mmmm," she all but purred at him. "It is too bad that the taste does not please Master."

"Uhh, no, that's not really the problem," Natsu told her sincerely.

Lucy looked down, as though concerned. "Perhaps Master is not comfortable?"

Natsu nodded vigorously. "Yeah, that's it. And getting more and more uncomfortable."

Lucy continued to look down, and Natsu saw that she was once again undoing the ties to his pants. Now what? He kept his hands firmly clenched at his sides.

"This one is very sorry that Master cannot enjoy his food properly," Lucy told him seriously, finishing with the ties and then slipping from his lap. "The situation must be resolved." She tried to frown, but a gleam in her eyes betrayed her. "Excuse me."

Lucy unlinked the bracelet from Natsu and allowed her bra to fall to the floor. Then she leaned down toward him and casually coiled the chain loosely about his neck and shoulders, removing his scarf and leaving it over the back of the chair. Natsu shivered, although the metal wasn't cold.

"Master must behave and not move, yes?"

"Uh—sure."

Lucy moved gracefully away to the kitchen, Natsu's eyes following every movement. He saw her transfer several large chunks of meat from a covered dish into a bowl, and then she came gliding back, bowl held aloft in one hand so that he could enjoy a perfect view of her now nearly-naked form. The meat smelled wonderful, Lucy smelled wonderful…

Setting down the bowl, Lucy tilted her head to survey Natsu's predicament. Being a kind woman, she started by choosing a tender piece of meat and popping it into Natsu's mouth. She got back an "mmm" of appreciation, and then knelt to remove Natsu's trousers, taking the time to stroke the hard muscles of his thighs and then calves. There was a rumbling sound from above her.

"Do I need to eat this time? Because to be honest—"

"Patience, Master. You will be fed, as is proper." Lucy stood up, hooking her hands under her skirt. Her panties joined the bra and most of Natsu's clothes on the floor.

"Lucy—"

"Yes, sir? Is this better, sir?" She slipped back onto his lap, hands running up his bare chest. One hand tangled in the back of his pink hair, drawing him into a very long, deep kiss. His arms came up involuntarily around her, but her free hand reached up and grasped the looped chain. She tugged on it, and energy ran down Natsu's arms, making all the fine hair stand on end.

"Dammit, Luce, I need to touch you!"

"It is time to eat. Perhaps the second course will be more to your liking. Can you reach the bowl, Master?"

"I don't want the bowl!"

"That is not polite, sir. It is time to eat. Now then…" Letting go of Natsu's hair, but still grasping the thin chain looped around Natsu's neck in one hand, Lucy rubbed her fingers into the wet folds between her legs, watching Natsu's eyes widen and feeling his erection twitch against her. Taking care to move slowly, she stroked first herself and then him, and then finally slid herself over and onto him with a sigh of pleasure that was echoed by a moan from Natsu.

"I want you," she whispered into his ear. "I want you so badly right now. I can't stop thinking about what you could do to me. Right here in this chair. Or maybe bent over the table." As Natsu bucked under her, grinding his body against hers, she yanked hard on the chain. The near-electric pulse raced over both of them, making them gasp in unison.

Lucy leaned back a little, expression challenging. "Master? This one must make sure that you eat properly. Otherwise"—a feigned woeful expression—"otherwise this one is a bad maid and cannot have what she wants…"

Natsu was panting, hands balled into fists at his sides. He could just ignore the games, pick up Lucy and fuck her until they were both exhausted. That really appealed. Instead, with every ounce of self-control at his disposal, he picked up the bowl from the table. It was worth it to see Lucy's eyes light up in surprise and then admiration. … And maybe a touch of chagrin?

"Alright, then. Since it obviously means so much to you."

With great deliberation, Natsu started to eat his way through the tender pieces of meat sitting in sauce in the bowl. Spicy juices ran down his fingers. Lucy kept her gaze on him, and they settled to their respective tasks: Natsu eating with fixed concentration, and Lucy using all of her finely trained muscles to ride him, her inner walls tight around his shaft as she moved above and around him. The seconds ticked by, and their breathing became more ragged. The silence was broken more and more often by soft moans as Lucy became tighter and wetter, and Natsu's muscles started to tremble with the need to move faster and seek release.

Natsu never forgot those few minutes. Eating—but not inhaling his food—while Lucy stroked his chest, and whispered in his ear, and pressed her incredible breasts against him. Warning tremors from the chain every time he wanted to touch anything but the food. Lucy in his lap—Lucy on him—Lucy's heat clenched around him.

The instant he was done—the meat, that is—Natsu reached out and grabbed Lucy's wrists.

"I've eaten like a good boy, Luce. Now I get to do what I want, right? Just so you know, that could take a while, because right now I can think of so many different ways I want to fuck you—and the only question is where to start." He pulled her mouth roughly against his, burying his tongue in her; the other hand gripped her ass hard. Her moan wasn't a protest; his sensitive ears could easily make out the whine of need and the harder tones of lust.

He moved them—or they moved—to the floor, to be able to move more freely, Natsu eventually on top and gripping Lucy's wrists tightly so that she was pinned. He bent his mouth to her breasts, making her pitch and cry out under him as he suckled and nipped at taut pink buds that he'd already teased hard with rough, knowing fingers.

"Natsu!"

"Oh?" he responded, half-breathless, half-teasing. "Not Master?"

He saw her gather herself for a counter-attack—if such it could be called—but kissed her before she could say anything.

"I've decided what I want-at least to being with," he told her. "First though…" He lifted the thin chain from where it had fallen and looped it about Lucy's wrists, tugging the links tight against her skin. "Now we can finish this in style—right? Since you did all this planning." He looked into her eyes and waited for her agreement.

"Yes… since I did all this planning, and since you've been such a good boy."

"I'm not your puppy, Luce." Lucy was caught off-guard when Natsu withdrew and tugged her over and onto all fours. He patted her ass and she looked back over her should at him. "But if that's what you're into, then let me see what I can do." A hand reached up between her legs, rubbing her clit—there was a lot to be said for experience, even if it was only a couple of months' worth. Then Natsu was inside her again, hands gripping her hips, and all she could do was scrabble at the carpet and try not to moan too loudly as he took her hard and fast and deep. Eventually, Lucy forgot about keeping the noise down.

It was a wild ride, and they came one after the other, shaking with the intensity of it. Afterward, they lay together on their sides on the carpet, panting, Natsu curled around Lucy's back.

"Fuck," muttered Natsu, forehead pressed against Lucy's shoulder blades.

"True."

"Yeah… but… but Lucy."

"Shh. I'm enjoying the afterglow." There was the tiniest pause, and then Lucy added, "And don't you dare feel guilty about it. It's all good—don't spoil it."

"Yes ma'am."

"Ha ha. You know, it wasn't a bad concept—the maid, I mean."

"Um, Lucy—you're… you're not going to write about this are you? That would be… um…"

"We'll see," Lucy replied mischievously, rolling over to face him. "After all, you said you had several ideas in mind for the rest of the evening." At Natsu's look of horror, she grinned, but said reassuringly: "No, to be honest… That was just my mind wandering off on a tangent. I can't really imagine writing about this kind of thing. It's way too personal, you know?"

"Yeah, okay… well, good." Natsu frowned. "Some people do though." Another minute passed and then he added: "Actually—now that I think about it, didn't you have that book of Erza's the other day? Seriously, I can't believe somebody writes that stuff! And you and Erza read it!"

Lucy blushed slightly, but refused to be fazed. Instead, she grinned. "Yeah? Well apparently so did you, or how would you know? In fact, maybe I should reconsider writing about sex. Now that you point it out—sex sells."

"Nice little chain you made for them," Loke remarked, eyes gleaming appreciatively.

"Thank you Loke-san. Discipline and punishment are important." Virgo bowed, maid's uniform as crisp and pristine as usual. "I was glad to be of service to Lucy-hime."

Loke nodded. "Of course." A very cat-like smile flitted across his face. "However, I do think that you should tell Lucy that there is no, ah, safety feature."

Virgo looked puzzled. "You mean, tell her that if the user's request is not fulfilled then the magical discharge continues to rise until the target dies? But why would she want an item for discipline that did not exact a full and proper penalty for disobedience?"

"I understand. Nevertheless, you will tell her, won't you?" Loke patted Virgo on the shoulder. "Not that I'm especially worried about Natsu. He appears to be resistant to everything the universe can throw at him. Still, best to tell Lucy, alright?"

Virgo bowed, and the two Celestial Spirits went their separate ways.

A/N: My, my... Oh well, sounds like everyone had a good time!  All likes, rebogs and comments much appreciated.