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forcing myself to sit through these mid ass movies just to see 5 seconds of my gorgeous blue eyed king 💔

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in time reminds me of those tiktok povs

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i love tommy but i wouldn’t wish on anyone the misfortune of being his partner lol

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just watched the edge of love and the only question i have is what the hell was that

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this man actually dominates my sketchbook

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Not sure if this fandom still exists, but I found an old notebook from grade 5 that has the translations for these symbols in Artemis Fowl books. I originally thought they were for decorative purposes but it turned out that they weren't, so younger me had a ball decoding these.

For those interested, here are all the ones I've done:

Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident

One of the strangest creatures on the Earth, or more accurately below it, is the common stinkworm. Stinkworms can only survive below the Earth's crust and so have never been seen by humans. The stinkworm can grow to a length of fifteen centimetres and a diameter of up to eight centimetres. The bigger a stinkworm is, the more meat there is in its soft boned skeleton and the more valuable it is to a merchant. Stinkworms are big business in the fairy world and have been for thousands of years. They are very versatile creatures and can be boiled, fried, baked, or even eaten raw though this sushi approach can be difficult to swallow as the stink associated with the worms does not disappear until they are cooked. The current favourite way to eat the stinkworm is in a dish similar to bolognese substituting stinkworms spaghetti. Deep fried on a skewer is popular among the younger generation. What makes the stinkworm so delicious is its juices. When the worm is heated in a pan or oven it bastes itself in a delicious spicy juice which even the best chefs have failed to reproduce. This juice is in fact earwax from the hundreds of ears that cover each worm's body. Some more sensitive fairies cannot forget that they are eating earwax and do not enjoy eating stinkworms, but most are entranced by the flavour that they are quite prepared to ignore where it comes from. Goblins in particular love stink worms and are constantly inventing new ways to consume them. The rarest and most prized stinkworm dish is a stir-fried bowl of stinkworm ears. The ears are shaved from the worm's body, rolled in flour and then lightly fried. This dish takes hours to prepare and costs a fortune. Goblins believe that if you eat a bowl of worm ears then you absorb the worm's memories of the places they have visited. This is not an appealing thought when you consider that a stinkworm's favourite environment is fresh troll dung.

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Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code

One of the fairy people's most popular pastimes is a card game called Bottoms Up. This game is almost the direct opposite of the human card game Poker. In Bottoms Up, the objective is to end up with the least valuable hand possible. There are four suits: Acorns, Toads, a weird shape known as Splats which is thought to be based on the shape of a stinkworm would make if it were stepped on by a troll, and of course, Bottoms, which gives the game its name. Historians tell us that the curved 'w' shapes which represent Bottoms are actually supposed to represent ocean waves but gamblers prefer to call them Bottoms and now the name has stuck. If a player realises that he is in danger of assembling a good hand, which is bad, he must trick his opponent into taking his valuable cards. The most valuable cards are a golden Acorn, a king Toad, an eight-pointed Splat, and a mega Bottom. There is also a hologrammed wild card which can be anything the holding player wishes it to be. If you are tricked into taking a wild card then you must get rid of it in the next two rounds or it freezes at its current value. When playing Bottoms Up, it is very important to hide any behaviour which might betray nervousness or glee. These behaviours are called 'tells'. An elf's 'tell' is to toy with his pointy ears, sprits sometimes flap their wings causing a downdraught which is never a good idea in a card game, gnomes eat anything they can reach including insects and pieces of furniture, and dwarves lose control of their internal gases. Once these gases build up past a certain point, it becomes almost impossible to hold them up. So if you see a dwarf with a red face, it is a good bet that he has a very bad card, which is good.

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Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception

There has never been a regulated scientific study of a dwarf's special abilities; what we know about them is based on folklore and hearsay. The most famous of these abilities is the dwarf tunnelling method by which they eat dirt and air before expelling them out the other end. Though the actual force of this expulsive have never been measured, several witnesses have reported windows breaking more than twenty metres away. It is said that a master recycler than finetune his gas emissions so that instead of a widespread blast of flatulence, he shoots out a concentrated column of wind. Legend has it that one such master recycler, a certain Blurt Diggums, was so accurate with these columns that he could turn on a light switch from the other side of the room. Dwarfs themselves use casual terms to refer to strength of their gas emissions. A shirt-flapper is a gentle emission that would barely inflate a child's balloon, a pants-ripper is a sturdier blast and would certainly blow a hole in even the sturdiest material, a nought-to-sixty is a sight whopper and could accelerate whoever dropped it to dangerous speeds, a strap-yourself-down is about as strong as it gets and could help a dwarf achieve flight, and finally, the legendary dark-side. If released in a mountaintop it could put a dwarf into orbit. there is no evidence that a dark-side is anything more than a myth. All the same if you see a dwarf on a mountain with a red face, take cover. You can't be too careful around dwarf wind.

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Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony

The demon scrolls tell of a warlock that will come to save our people but I couldn't rely too much on the scrolls. They also say that rabbits are supreme beings and that the best cure for a sore throat is a poultice of dung and old socks. Hence trust the scrolls at your peril. There are however a few basic tips for survival in a demon tribe that might be helpful if you were a human and had never actually met a demon before, which is unlikely to say the least. If you were a human, you wouldn't be able to read this in the first place. So, demon survival tips. First, never stab a demon with his own sword. This is the ultimate insult and will result in a vendetta that could go on for generations. It is fine to stab a demon with your sword, he will congratulate you for managing that but only poor warlocks lose their swords and then get stabbed with them. If the opportunity arises, give it a miss. Demons have a pretty comprehensive system of sign language ... (I couldn't find the rest unfortunately)

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Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox

From the collective correspondence of Opal Koboi, a series of letter between Koboi inmate number [cannot be identified], Atlantis maximum penitentiary, and Wing Commander, Vinyaya, Haven Council.

Koboi: "My dear Wing Commander, while I realise that my first probation hearing is not due for four hundred years, I feel that it would be in the people's best interests to release me before then. After all, the humans are becoming more sophisticated daily and a genius such as myself will be needed to ensure that fairy technology remains superior to human technology."

Vinyaya: "Dream on, Koboi."

Koboi: "I am sensing negative vibrations from you, Wing Commander. Do not be so quick to judge, people can change, surely you can accept that. I admit that once, I found the idea of being the planet's supreme power an attractive one, but who hasn't secretly nurtured the dream of wiping out humanity and utterly dominating one's own peers? I see now that this dream might be unacceptable to some narrow-minded fairies and I am prepared to swear on my pixie honour that should I be released I would not attempt to take over the world again."

Vinyaya: "On your pixie honour. Wow, I'll send the transfer shuttle right over."

Koboi: "I see now, Wing Commander, that you never had any intention of sending the transfer shuttle right over. In fact, you were being sarcastic. Mocking me from the safety of police plaza before i realised that the shuttle was not coming for me. I packed by belongings so that I could be ready, including my collection of model seahorses which I fashioned form chewed cardboard. My favourite seahorses, Twinky and Goodboy, were broken in the process. Twinky cries every night over her severed tail and Goodboy does not look so dashing without his head. Your callousness leaves me no alternative but to place you in my revenge list. When I am finally free of this horrible place and elevated to my rightful position as Queen of the world, you will take my place in this cell and I will send you troll minions to issue daily beatings with batons fashioned from seahorse tails. A fitting punishment, I am sure you agree."

Vinyaya: "See you in four hundred years."

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on that cillian murphy films grind (◕‿◕)

(never have a good time to watch these tho 😔)

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damn mb i dont know the rules around tagging i thought it was just abt tagging whatever is relevant 😭 sorry

Everything Wrong With Five x Lila

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: TUA Season 4 was a colossal disappointment, but of all the things I didn't like, Five x Lila had to take first place. As always, spoilers after the cut !!

I think the most obvious problem with it all was the age-gap. With a character like Five, whose mental age was such a big leap from his physical age, problems were naturally going to arise when it came to romance. In season 4 (but before the metro incident), he was about 60+ years old mentally and 19-20 years old appearance-wise, while Lila was in her mid-thirties. One could argue that this wasn't illegal - by (approx.) 25 years old, the brain would have fully developed and can make sound decisions in romantic situations, thus age gaps were no longer so significant. This could be true, but it was still far from being normal.

It's almost like some fans have forgotten who Five really is due to his appearance as a young and attractive man. They like how soft he becomes with her, how happy he seems. However, they're forgetting that-

This isn't him: This is him:

Now think back to all the scenes between Lila and Five in the show and substitute young Five for age-accurate Five. Creepy, right? Five isn't the innocent character deserving of the 'love' he finds in Lila after all he has been through, he's someone who should have had the maturity and rationality to not date someone mentally half his age and is also his brother's wife.

With that being said, I don't believe Five would ever do such a thing. It's blatant mischaracterisation to make the character whose top priority had been his family almost the entire show throw it all away in those 7 years of being stuck with Lila. I mention the 7 years because it seemed like the writers' excuse for making them fall in love. Their reasoning is essentially "It's a long time and they were losing hope, so we can't blame them for turning to each other". It's like saying that a man and woman cannot co-exist for so long without catching feelings, regardless of whether they were in-laws or not. 7 years should also have been nothing to Five; he never lost hope when stuck in the apocalypse for 40+ years, so why now?

What I also hate about this is how they butchered Lila x Diego. From the storyline, Lila apparently fell out of love with Diego because she thought he complained too much and had a dad bod. The domestic life doesn't suit either of them, that much was clear and understandable, but while Diego communicated his unhappiness outwardly (albeit excessively), Lila went behind everyone's back to cults and such to "keep her life interesting". Not to mention that despite his complaints, Diego still put his all into caring for his family. He learned Punjabi to speak to his in-laws, consistently went to his boring job, and risked his life just to bring home some stuffed animals for his children. The story even showed him maturing and realising how much his family meant to him, after which he changed his way and became more loving and affectionate when Lila came back. What hurt the most was that he went through that development for nothing because Lila had already cheated on him with Five. Lila and Diego's relationship had had seasons to develop and solidify, how did it all lose to the 5-minute montage of Five and Lila eating rats in the subway?? This season painted both Lila and Five as selfish and cruel people, which I don't think should be true for either of them.

During their argument on going back to their original timeline, Lila said herself that she did not actually love him, but what they had was purely for survival. In other words, she used him to cope with her loneliness and abandoned him at the first chance she got to return home. Yet it was also said by Steve Blackman that if they had more time, Lila "would have stayed with Five". These inconsistencies between what happened in the show and what was said by the writer did not help to sell their relationship, and only served to show how poorly formulated and executed it was.

Moreover, I want to mention how this all spawned from Steve Blackman thinking that Five needs a love story. I don't think he did, but even if it is a necessity for some reason, there were so many options that didn't involve being a homewrecker (he could have been placed with model!Delores, his assistant at the CIA, etc.). Blackman even paired with his previous claim about Five: "How can he have a love story? He's not the kind of guy who's going to date". So while it was already established that Five having a love-interest was unlikely, the show went out of their way to make it happen anyway.

Regarding the ending, we ultimately got no closure on either relationship but only what Steve Blackman said externally to the show (which I don't agree with). We also got the cliché phrase "I see you" from Diego, saying that he understood Lila for who she truly was. But what did he actually mean by this? That he understood why she cheated on him? That he realised that she has fallen out of love with him? Was he displaying acceptance or anger? There was no time left for elaboration, and that was it. They all died and were erased from existence.

Wish I had covered my eyes while watching this season 💔

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genuinely gonna start tweaking if I see another trauma dump on happy videos of a father and daughter having fun

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Everything Wrong With Five x Lila

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: TUA Season 4 was a colossal disappointment, but of all the things I didn't like, Five x Lila had to take first place. As always, spoilers after the cut !!

I think the most obvious problem with it all was the age-gap. With a character like Five, whose mental age was such a big leap from his physical age, problems were naturally going to arise when it came to romance. In season 4 (but before the metro incident), he was about 60+ years old mentally and 19-20 years old appearance-wise, while Lila was in her mid-thirties. One could argue that this wasn't illegal - by (approx.) 25 years old, the brain would have fully developed and can make sound decisions in romantic situations, thus age gaps were no longer so significant. This could be true, but it was still far from being normal.

It's almost like some fans have forgotten who Five really is due to his appearance as a young and attractive man. They like how soft he becomes with her, how happy he seems. However, they're forgetting that-

This isn't him: This is him:

Now think back to all the scenes between Lila and Five in the show and substitute young Five for age-accurate Five. Creepy, right? Five isn't the innocent character deserving of the 'love' he finds in Lila after all he has been through, he's someone who should have had the maturity and rationality to not date someone mentally half his age and is also his brother's wife.

With that being said, I don't believe Five would ever do such a thing. It's blatant mischaracterisation to make the character whose top priority had been his family almost the entire show throw it all away in those 7 years of being stuck with Lila. I mention the 7 years because it seemed like the writers' excuse for making them fall in love. Their reasoning is essentially "It's a long time and they were losing hope, so we can't blame them for turning to each other". It's like saying that a man and woman cannot co-exist for so long without catching feelings, regardless of whether they were in-laws or not. 7 years should also have been nothing to Five; he never lost hope when stuck in the apocalypse for 40+ years, so why now?

What I also hate about this is how they butchered Lila x Diego. From the storyline, Lila apparently fell out of love with Diego because she thought he complained too much and had a dad bod. The domestic life doesn't suit either of them, that much was clear and understandable, but while Diego communicated his unhappiness outwardly (albeit excessively), Lila went behind everyone's back to cults and such to "keep her life interesting". Not to mention that despite his complaints, Diego still put his all into caring for his family. He learned Punjabi to speak to his in-laws, consistently went to his boring job, and risked his life just to bring home some stuffed animals for his children. The story even showed him maturing and realising how much his family meant to him, after which he changed his way and became more loving and affectionate when Lila came back. What hurt the most was that he went through that development for nothing because Lila had already cheated on him with Five. Lila and Diego's relationship had had seasons to develop and solidify, how did it all lose to the 5-minute montage of Five and Lila eating rats in the subway?? This season painted both Lila and Five as selfish and cruel people, which I don't think should be true for either of them.

During their argument on going back to their original timeline, Lila said herself that she did not actually love him, but what they had was purely for survival. In other words, she used him to cope with her loneliness and abandoned him at the first chance she got to return home. Yet it was also said by Steve Blackman that if they had more time, Lila "would have stayed with Five". These inconsistencies between what happened in the show and what was said by the writer did not help to sell their relationship, and only served to show how poorly formulated and executed it was.

Moreover, I want to mention how this all spawned from Steve Blackman thinking that Five needs a love story. I don't think he did, but even if it is a necessity for some reason, there were so many options that didn't involve being a homewrecker (he could have been placed with model!Delores, his assistant at the CIA, etc.). Blackman even paired with his previous claim about Five: "How can he have a love story? He's not the kind of guy who's going to date". So while it was already established that Five having a love-interest was unlikely, the show went out of their way to make it happen anyway.

Regarding the ending, we ultimately got no closure on either relationship but only what Steve Blackman said externally to the show (which I don't agree with). We also got the cliché phrase "I see you" from Diego, saying that he understood Lila for who she truly was. But what did he actually mean by this? That he understood why she cheated on him? That he realised that she has fallen out of love with him? Was he displaying acceptance or anger? There was no time left for elaboration, and that was it. They all died and were erased from existence.

Wish I had covered my eyes while watching this season 💔

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On Lizzie and Tommy Shelby

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: I've recently finished the last episode of Peaky Blinders and I have so much on my mind regarding the relationship between Lizzie and Thomas. There simply isn't enough content online to accommodate for my internet surfing, so I'll post my thoughts on here instead, mainly about why I don't think the ship would ever work out. Spoilers and (probably) many grammatical errors after the cut!

It isn't that I don't want to like Lizzie x Tommy - in fact, I was on my knees the entire show praying that they would work out. Eventually, though, I lose hope seeing their relationship struggle to move beyond a painful, one-sided love for the majority of the entire show (except towards the end, but more on that later). It gets to a point where they need a miracle to work.

I should also mention Grace. To me, her significance in the show seems greater when she's dead than alive. I didn't even think that she would make an appearance again after season 1, and that her role is to solidify the distrust Thomas has in others (caused by their entanglements followed by her betrayal). I don't dislike her at all, but I don't think I ever got the chance to truly invest myself in her story before she is already killed. What the show stresses most is the impact her death leaves on Thomas. He is tortured by grief, self-blame, guilt, etc.. So while I don't care much for Grace x Tommy, it's not difficult to see that Thomas will never love anyone as much as he loves Grace.

As for Lizzie, she is who Thomas turns to after Grace's death. They haven't had much of a romantic history beforehand, but a sexual one turned professional when he offers her a job as his secretary (I will try to avoid recounting everything in the show lest this gets boring). During this time, Lizzie acts as his emotional crutch. This doesn't mean much, just that he uses her body to distract himself from the grieving of his late wife. Although he is the one to promise her complete exemption from her past job as a prostitute, he breaks that promise once at the Derby race, then again by basically treating her like one to cope with the loss of his wife. The only difference now is that she is exclusive to Thomas, almost willingly so because she harbours feelings for him.

Their sexual relationship continues throughout the seasons, and he turns to her once more when memories of Greta (pre-war Thomas' lover) resurfaces. So really, up to this point, there isn't a time when he has sex with Lizzie, with Lizzie in mind.

Lizzie's pregnancy prompts their marriage due to the stigmas surrounding children born of wedlock at the time, so it obviously isn't out of love. Nothing particular changes afterwards and Lizzie remains a long shot from ever comparing to Grace. I probably will go back to this topic a lot, but the difference between Thomas’ interactions with Grace contrary to other women is huge. Their sex scenes (often in slow-motion with backing music, etc.) is exceptionally intimate in contrast to the furniture-thumping, lustful fucking he has with prostitutes. Lizzie unfortunately falls into the latter category. Where even well into their marriage, she has to personally demand they do it on the bed.

That whole episode really stands out to me regarding their relationship. Thomas has no qualms in bedding other women while married to her, and Lizzie knows this. Yet she only goes as far as to forbid him from doing it in their own home and not within a day of holding their daughter’s hand (I think). It’s pitiful and only gets worse when Thomas drops the statement that she is “his property” and no one else may touch her. That sounds like something younger me would read on Wattpad and giggle and kick my feet (shame on me), but there is nothing commendable or romantic about this. While Lizzie has to negotiate against his cheating, he brazenly chalks her up as an asset in his inventory, like he would a car or a horse. Possessiveness also isn't love (‼️). There is a clear power imbalance in their dynamics; Lizzie is never in control, Thomas is. He almost never listens to anyone, let alone her. It is always him who makes the decisions and she could argue all she wants but inevitably, she would have to be the one to submit.

More specifically about Thomas' infidelity, I would understand if he has sex with other women for the sake of furthering his plans, such as with Jessie. After all, he isn't in love with Lizzie or their political marriage, so it wouldn't burden him to cheat on her if it means that he gets what he wants logically. However, he doesn't just do that. He hires prostitutes and speaks to Lizzie within the span of seconds and doesn't bat an eye. At some point even basic respect is lacking in their relationship, a relationship that Lizzie has been so loyal to, yet she is constantly met with nothing but humiliation. She holds the title of being his wife, but what supports it other than some rings and legal documents?

Heading towards the last few episodes, Thomas strives to change his ways due to false news about his impending death. He becomes more considerate of Lizzie, shows his care more often and more openly, but their relationship couldn't be salvaged with the given time constraints. At some point, Thomas says "I love you" for what is probably the first time. The way I see it, though, is that he is pushing himself to love her because he knows that is what she wants, what will make her happy. It couldn't, and doesn't work, especially given the short time they have. Even if what he says is true, Lizzie ends up leaving him.

I like this ending. Thomas is right when he says that she deserves better. My gorgeous, breath-taking, soul-stealing queen does deserve better than him and it's about time they let go of whatever relationship they have. While Thomas cares for Lizzie immensely, their relationship is more toxic than not and he ultimately couldn't give her what she needs and deserves after all these years. Sometimes things don't work out and that's okay. I hope that they do not return to each other in the movie (if it comes out), but find separate, better lives for themselves.

Notes: that is all of my late night rant, i may just be spewing nonsense atp so do tell me if i've gotten anything wrong or if you have different takes on these topics. thank yew (❁´◡`❁)

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sketches Σ(ﾟДﾟ)