#i suck i know i'm sorry

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[k9effect]

Bradley "Boyfriend" Bradshaw

Messy hair, hickies and soft clothes <3

[die-tenebris]

don't wanna derail the post I saw this discussion on- it was all in the notes anyway, so it certainly isn't op's problem. I'm gonna say this with so much love:

Calling somebody a 'theyfab' is not punching up. If someone's being transmisogynistic, say that, or call them a bigot. Naming the tangible harm done to you will always be the most effective thing to do.

The cis people who created that term made it with the explicit intent to mock and insult people's identities. No matter what you mean when you say it, this is its origin and to most people, its only meaning. It describes nothing about the discrimination you face.

People afab are marginalized, especially if they're queer. You cannot "punch up" on a fellow oppressed group. I understand the specific vitriol that they inflict on you hurts.

You don't need a word to call somebody, you need and deserve adequate justice for the tangible harm done to you; and my heart aches that nobody queer- especially trans women- ever seems to receive that.

I'm aware I can't make anybody do anything, so I'm not gonna try to tell you not to use that word. I just want to say it can't ever address, undo, or heal any harm done to you. It can only redirect it.

[aro-aceattorney]

high five heroes!

[butcher--bird]

springfest dialogue confirmed chickens for alive

[weretoad-art]

Cyrus' base ("base") in the Tunnels

(aka. damn bitch you live like this?)

[ask-shane]

Hi, Marnie! Hope everything is well! I wanted to ask a silly question, but do you have any baby pictures of Shane and Jas?

i'm sure i have at least one laying around here....

oh! here he is in this little snapshot. isn't he adorable?

[twitchyglitchy]

What do I have to do to get out of here? Who do I have to beg on my knees to so I can leave?

Get me out of my house

P@yPal: twitchyjayson

Current Goal: $55/$800

[anarchopuppy]

I hate to do this again, but I'm out of options. I have to pay my $350 power bill by 5pm CST tomorrow (December 7th, 2023) or I'll be disconnected, and my account is currently over $500 in the red from December's rent. I still haven't been able to find a new job and things are getting really desperate

If I can get $350 within the next 24 hours, I can pay the bill directly through paypal and at least keep my lights on while keeping my bank account overdrawn for now. If you're able to help out, my ko-fi is here, and you can DM me for my paypal or venmo if necessary. Reblogs are also appreciated. Thanks y'all <3

$0/350

[egophiliac]

screams

(still not spoilers! BUT probably the last one for a while that will not be spoilers, be warned)

[vrainydays]

happy birthday to the purest angel 🐥 park jimin (oct 13th, 1995)

“If your heart has grown bigger, that also means you have also let go and emptied out many things. This shows that you have let go of the bad things and are left with nothing but happiness and freedom.”

(cr. dwellingsouls)

[never-ending-pizza-time]

I think some people forget that peppino can be kind of a jerk. He's not your perfect awkward nervous guy who can do no wrong, he is not perfect, but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He has flaws, because thats a normal human thing to have.

Sometimes he gets angry and a bit mean, sometimes he takes joy in beating the shit out of the tower residents, sometimes he gets selfish or says something mean to someone. His anxiety is not his only flaw, please don't forget that. He is not a perfect sunshine boy who can do no wrong. He is not nice and friendly 100% of the time. He is a human person, he is a complex being who cannot be easily defined as completely good or completely bad.

Sometimes good people do shitty things. Sometimes a person will not act in the kindest way possible. Sometimes someone will do something not realising (or caring) how it makes others feel. Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people are wrong.

Peppino is a human, he is not immune to being a jerk sometimes. Again, this doesn't make him a bad person, it just makes him human, and I don't want people to forget that and misinterpret him as being someone whos only flaw is his anxiety. Yes it is a key part of his character, but theres more to this guy than that, thats not his only flaw or imperfection or whatever you want to call it. He's not 'kind perfect guy who also has anxiety', theres more detail to who he is than that.

Peppino can be a bit mean, Peppino can be hotheaded, and you know what? Thats okay because thats what a person is like sometimes, and that is a sign of a complex and realisticly written character (even if he is a cartoon guy, his personality still feels realistic). He's not the same guy all of the time, he doesnt respond to every situation in the same way, he's not a one note character. Sometimes he sucks as a person, but its okay because despite all that, he's a loveable and endearing character, and he isn't a horrible terrible person, he just is human, and thats okay.

[lost-in-fandoms]

Angry kitten knight Max. Not as much kitten time as I would have wanted. Part 1 here.

Daniel is sparring with Alex when Max comes to get him.

Daniel sees him cutting through the courtyard, people jumping out of his way after one look at his stormy expression, and barely manages to avoid Alex's next hit, attention already fully on their Captain.

When he comes closer, Daniel can see his clenched hands, cheeks splotchy with angry red, eyes steely. It's not a rare occurrence for Max to get snappy and angry, but it's been a very long time since Daniel has seen him so genuinely upset.

"What happened, Captain?" he asks, handing Alex his practice sword without looking, other hand already raising towards Max's shoulder.

"Come with me," is all Max says, voice icy, dodging his touch.

Daniel wouldn't even think about refusing, but Max doesn't give him a chance to anyway, immediately turning around and marching towards the barracks, exuding so much fury it almost feels like the day is a little darker.

Daniel is pretty sure he's done nothing wrong. He's had his shift on the walls earlier in the morning, to which he wasn't even late, had some lunch and then went to the courtyard. He's also pretty sure, despite Max's behavior, that this doesn't actually have something to do with him. Max had been stuck in yet another council with the King for the best part of the day, which never puts him in a good mood.

When they reach his room, Max pushes the door open so violently it bounces off the wall with a bang, taking two final steps inside and then.

Stopping.

Daniel gently closes the door.

He can see the tension in the way Max is holding himself, ready to snap like a bow cocked for too long, breathing heavily as if he had run the whole way around the castle, and not just walked up two flights of stairs.

"Max," Daniel starts, immediately discarding titles as they always do when they're alone, but then he doesn't know how to continue. He doesn't know what Max is upset about, what he needs. Doesn't know if he'll explode if Daniel prods, or if he'll break.

Max turns around to face him. His jaw is still clenched, frustration etched into every single one of his features, but it looks like he's making an active effort to breathe through it. Daniel isn't sure that will work.

He readies himself to speak up again, but Max interrupts him, words spilling out between gritted teeth.

"He is so, he does not listen! I have said that we cannot, of course, keep holding onto the western border if he keeps insisting on pushing the eastern one, but he says..." his hand slashes through the hair as he exhales heavily through his nose, anger choking him.

"We will just lose men and land if he goes through with this plan!" he snarls. Daniel can see him starting to work himself up even more, and he takes a step forward. He understands where Max is coming from, he really does. It's his men, their friends, who will be sent to a useless and avoidable death if the King decides to go through with this. It might be him. It might be Daniel.

So yes, he understands Max's anger and frustration. But right now his priority is another one, and that's making sure Max doesn't breaks his teeth by grinding them too hard.

"I have shown him, over and over, but he is so..."

Max is still ranting, but Daniel just places both hands on his shoulders and pulls him in a hug, holding him still even as he squirms, with a sound that's almost a growl.

"Max," Daniel says again, squeezing him tighter. Max stops moving.

"Tell me what you need."

For a second, he's sure he miscalculated and Max is actually going to pull back and go back to his rant, or maybe punch him, but then Max slumps against him, forehead landing heavily on his shoulder.

"I left the council before being dismissed, or I was going to get beheaded for regicide."

Daniel can't help himself, lets out a huff of laughter, feeling the way Max giggles a little too. It's not that funny, Max is going to get in trouble for it, but it is a little funny, the idea of the Captain storming out of the meeting room to avoid snapping the King's neck.

"I'm proud of you, I kinda like your head where it is," he says, half joking and half fond, pressing a kiss into Max's hair. "Now, will you tell me what I can do for you?"

He knows that the reason Max came all the way to the courtyard couldn't have been just to rant at him, but he can't quite figure out if Max wants to have sex or to just be held like this.

Turns out, it's neither of the things.

"I need..." Max hesitates, carefully extracting himself from Daniel's hug and looking at him with unusual shyness. He doesn't finish his sentence. One second Daniel is patiently waiting for his boyfriend to let him know how to help, and the next he's looking down at a kitten, sitting between his feet.

He smiles, crouching down and offering him a finger to sniff. He understands now. Feelings are easier when Max is shifted, his brain quieter, all complicated thoughts less important. He's still fully Max, fully present, but it's easier for him to sort through the bullshit, to let his senses take over a little.

"Hi, baby," Daniel whispers, running his fingertip over Max's soft little head, lightly scratching behind his jaw. Max blinks up at him for a second, before turning around and jumping onto the bed, curling in a tiny little ball on top of the pillow.

"You want to take a nap?"

It's not a smart idea, Max will for sure have people looking for him, and Daniel has things to do, but Max blinks at him, somehow managing to pout even in kitten form, and Daniel is on the bed before he can even think twice about it.

Max impatiently waits for him to settle, meowing with his little kitten voice and hitting him with his little kitten paws, climbing on top of him as soon as Daniel stops moving. He curls up on his favorite spot, right on top of his collarbone, wet nose pressed against Daniel's neck, and Daniel can almost feel the moment he lets go, fully relaxing on top of him.

He can for sure feel it when he starts purring, more loudly than one would assume for such a little thing, and it makes Daniel smile.

Neither of them really falls asleep, but it's enough to be like this, in this little room, just them for a little while.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.

the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.

the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.

and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.

hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.

and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.

and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.

and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.

and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.

that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.

i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.

if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.

[infinityinakiss]

avatrice au fic recommendations:

i don't think there is a single avatrice au fic that i haven't read so here are some my favorites. i tried to find ones that weren't as popular, so hopefully there are couple here you haven't read.

I want to believe by puppybusby @yashastrongarms - x files au - basically 23k of avatrice flirting while being incredibly reckless with alien shit. unfortunately, it is only a one shot that doesn't delve into their relationship, but it is so worth it. and the tension. woof.

Truly a Steadfast Love by StoicLastStand - medieval au - they have a whole series of ficlets, but this is one of my favorites. there's a tournament to win ava's hand in marriage, ava goes undercover to fight for her freedom, but she ends up falling for the very knight who everybody wants to win. i also love their lucifer au, Greater Sacrifices.

a lover, or something of mine by Smokestarrules - reincarnation au - each chapter is a different life with a different story, and i promise you, if you have anything that even resembles a heart, you will cry. i keep going back and rereading chapter 4 because apparently i love to hurt myself. i also love the world is just illusion (trying to change you) by them, it's a road trip au.

i should love you (and i swear i do) by Noteveryonefitsintothebadbitchgenre - harry potter au (fuck jk rowling) - its that trope where they're married and they talk about each other constantly but nobody actually knows they're married. their students all think that professor silva and professor young have a friendly rivalry, but there are a couple of moments that don't add up.

purple by sxftmelody - hitman au - technically, but really it's just sad, i always cry at the end. beatrice helps ava run away after a job, and slowly they open themselves up and start to fall in love. tw: major character death. also love turning page by the same author, mercenary/princess au.

in our corner of the world by definitelynotthere - roommate au - i know, i know, there's a thousand roommate aus, why would i recommend a fic that isn't even finished and will probably never get finished? i don't know, i just really love this one, and if you're like me, you'll go "ooh, two cakes" and read it anyway.

The last hero of Ogygia by jessnope - percy jackson au - specifically calypso au, ava is calypso and beatrice is the flirty hunter that washed up on her shore. it's super cute.

stay there, 'cause i'll be coming over (while our blood's still young) by britishngay - spiderman au - ava's character voice is actually designed to be spiderman, and bea is the perfect doctor lady that patches spidey up when she gets hurt. plus beatrice telling lilith to "shut up and sit down" will never not be iconic.

sunday people (sunday shines for you) by gilligankane @piratekane - another roommates au - jealous ava is back again and out for blood, specifically jenn-with-two-ns blood.

this is my prayer (I'm in love with you) by nyxtyka - my best friend's wedding/spies au - i'll be honest, this fic went to my marked for laters to die. i don't know if it'll ever be finished, but it is one of my favorite aus, i promise it'll be worth the pain.

spellbound by onomofication - witch au - beatrice is the witch in the woods that ava goes to to finally find a way to explore the world like she has always wanted to. but as she gets to know the surprisingly kind, serious, kinda-sorta witch, she discovers that maybe the world was smaller than she had once imagined. i also love another fic by this author, hit me with you best shot, which is basically a cupid au, where ava runs around trying to stop jc, a cupid, from shooting the love of her life, beatrice.

the celestial glow is blinding by understreetlights - firewatch au - did i think ava and beatrice sitting around, looking at trees, and falling love with each other through walkie talkies was going to be interesting? no, but the world loves to prove me wrong.

too cold, it's withdrawal by KatieQgle - captain america au - give this one a chance, even if you don't like marvel. beatrice is hot as fuck as bucky and honestly the winter soldier plot line needed a little sapphic yearning. come on, avatrice in the army in the 1940s, being badass and fighting nazis together? who wouldn't love that?

i have a ton more, reach out if you want them!

[thomas-mvller]

Stretching in the middle of an important football match in front of 75,000 people is the kind of privilege you can afford when you're The GOAT 🐐