#i suck at that too
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it#and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about#why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks'#you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it#anyway#mine#asexuality
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autumnal chill....featuring the girl
#my art#oc#svanhildr#furry#anthro#goat#almost typed ''featuring the girk''#my favourite girk of all time baby#this took an INORDINATE amount of time but also i was experimenting with style so maybe it's somewhat ordinate#i did the brush/texturing too small but it looks nice when you zoom in on some parts#and i finally have a decent twitter banner so small mercies#anyway summer kind of sucked this year - not much warm weather. better than last year but still pretty bad#hopefully september comes in clutch with some last minute sun. so i can appreciate the autumnal chill more when it comes#also scrumping season is coming to a close and i regret not eating more greengages when i had the chance...they rotted off so fast#apple season save me. save me apple season#illustration
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1920s tumblr simulator
🎞 noirsuatoir Follow
Private detectives useless as hell all I do is sit behind a desk dramatically lit in black and white stripes by my half open blinds and smoke cigars. Living the dream
#privatedetective #detectivelife #i have 19 unsolved cases
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🎷 aceofspades Follow
prohibition hitting hard...making some bathtup gin tonight. DM for recipe
🎷aceofspades Follow
hopital
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🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
Clara Bow is 20??!!!
🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
SHE SHOULD BE AT THE SPEAKEASY
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🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow
Smuggling some moonshine in my coat oh boy I sure do hope no big scary prohibition officer comes andbpins me and handcuffs me hahha oh nooo that would suck
#wink wink
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🍸 gladragz Follow
my thirsty ass could NEVER be a bootlegger!!!!
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🚬 runrummer Follow
Anyone else think some of those jc leyendecker drawings are kind of yaoi ....
#those arrow collar advertisments got me feelin smthn #jc leyendecker #jcleyendecker #jcl
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📻 flapperfanny-fan973 Follow
she speak on my easy till I jazz
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#first attempt at this genre of posts#i spent 30 minutes too long on this and it sucks. releasing it into the wild#unreality#fake posts#fake dashboard#1920s
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"he died for our wins" - 2024, LIDL Oil paint on LIDL canvas
#CAN YOU TELL I SHIFTED INTO PLANT MODE#HLVRAI#RTVS#I got so many houseplants this summer i have a serious problem#the problem is alocasias#and overpriced aglaonemas#nilryth draws stuff#orange oil paint sucks by the way#it takes forever to dry#pink sucks too#I could keep messing with it forever but i have got to paint something else before i lose my mind#it's still wet af rn#I'll post a high res scan eventually#update: thought of an equally demented 'prequel' painting to work on next#maybe a third too
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Full offense, but I think milk substitution charges should not exist at coffee shops. It is NOT my or anyone's fault that they cannot have dairy and that's that.
#personal#Especially since like oatmilk is on the rise too. I wanna say it's just as popular as the whole milk they usually use.#So you know people are paying for it and it IS whatever but it sucks LMAO.
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This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.
"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.
"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.
I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.
#I didn't watch Teen Wolf but I know this happened to that Stiles character#I'm not active in any DC fandom but it looks like this happened to Tim Drake and to a lesser extent Dick and Jason#In prequels-era Star Wars it seems to be Obi-Wan; he's the spark/focus of this post here; bring back his flaws I like that he kind of sucks#sometimes a Fandom's Darling comes out of an Author's Darling! usually Fandom's are vessels to fuck the “hottest guy” available though#I will probably turn reblogs off if this spreads too far because I really don't care if people write Mary Sue fanfic; can't cast that stone#squinting at every “intersex” tag like Inigo Montoya: “I don't think that means what you think it means.”#honestly the fantasy intersex thing is a separate & more serious post; but the fandom usage is a red/yellow flag for me when searching#tossawary fandom#fandom's darling
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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the kaminari and mina friendship is underutilized and i think we need to change that
#bnha#mha#mina ashido#denki kaminari#the friend that is like equally as stupid as u. it’s so beautiful#kamimina u are such a special bond#i had art block but I persevered!!!#kami is one of the girls. like honorary member of the week. sorry he loves gossip and wants to put on a face mask#i was gonna include him sucking at skateboard and mina being great at it but alas here we are#and look kiri and sero are dumb too but these two take the cake bc they start the stupidity. the others join in#eggsdrawings
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obligatory “cool characterization, still murder” like I’m not excusing him but it does make him incredibly interesting
(*girl gender neutral edition)
#bill cipher#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#the book of bill#gravity falls#philip wittebane#<- him too (the grimwalker visions)#toh#the owl house#could bill NOT be feeling guilty and I’m reaching? maybe idk man#1k#2k#3k#i've gotten a few comments like 'ohh you/i can excuse them!' so i will clarify#i more mean that i don't want to act like they did nothing wrong because them BEING in the wrong is more interesting#like i don't want to woobify them you know????#it's far more exciting to NOT excuse them and analyze them through that lens for me personally#sometimes characters are complex AND they suck AND they're pathetic AND they're scary#they contain multitudes!
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FNAF movie Mike and Michael meet their younger selves..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#I get asked q now and again how Michael would react to his younger self#so finally made it into a full comic + added Mike to it too#Mike would definitely be comforting towards his younger self#I think Mike knows he just needed some validation and good support at that age#his parents seemingly let him believe everything was his fault#so Mike would want to be that parental figure he didn’t have#WHILE MICHAEL#listen Michael wouldn’t be mean to his younger self#he knows he was a problem child BECAUSE his home life sucked#BUT HE WILL be blunt with his lil self BAHAH#just telling young Michael outright if he keep being a jerk he’ll turn purple#idk if lil Michael is understanding what he’s saying but it’ll definitely leave an impression PFF#Michael truly keeps being top tier at talking to the youth BAHAH
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and they were rivals 🙄
#this took a bit#reached that phase again where everything I draw feels like it sucks (and I had less time these days too)#I did manage in the end tho as you might see!#even with a background *pats own shoulder#anyway these 2 need to get a room#zosan#zoro x sanji#roronoa zoro#sanji#one piece#op#o0kawaii0o
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finally, some downtime
#i think i died whilst making this#they’re too cute for their own good.#god help me i want this#klance#keith kogane#lance mcclain#keith vld#lance vld#vld#voltron#my art#head empty only klance#ignore the background i suck at them
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i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.
"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.
my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.
i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."
"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."
"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."
#writeblr#:)#the small secret love i have for y'all. the way i am filled with gratitude.#for the nosebleed club. for stephen particularly.#for every artist i've ever been in contact with and collaborated with.#for every person who has commented on my work and passed it along or fallen in love with it#for every silent 'just hitting like' follower and for every person who sends me dms and for each of you#i know i suck at replying bc i have anxiety. but like. you keep being here. so i keep writing.#i legit wouldn't be here without you.#thank you sophie thank you katie thank you carolyn thank you stephanie thank you jess#thank you if you're reading this#i got too overwhelmed with love and have to stop writing this FAR too early into the thank yous bc im about to cry with love
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when will people learn that live-action remakes will never be good as their original animated counterparts because the glory of animation is the colour, movement, and fantasy that's just untranslateable to live-action
#the WHOLE POINT of animation is that its NOT live-action#because if it's not live-action then it's not held back by realism#like. mcu costumes don't look the same as their comic counterparts because yes they would look silly!#and mind you the mcu will run too far with that but point being that you use the different mediums of art for different reasons#spiderverse would suck if it was live-action#i haven't watched the live-action atla and i'm not going to for several reasons#avatar the last airbender#winx club#riverdale#the lion king#disney remakes
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Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2
#sorry for the mercy/augustine sex jumpscare but i rly do think they have terrible sex every like. 200 years#they're like “Oh this Sucks I'm never doing this Again” and then hundreds of years pass and they get bored and they're like hmmm#maybe. it wasn't THAT bad.#the idea of bitching and complaining during sex is too funny to me#also my magnus design is pure indulgence#i just wanted to sexualise that old man. and he ended up looking like varric dragon age 😭😭#also also i gave Pal the fancy swoopy glasses that elphaba wears in the wicked trailer cos i think they're cool#okay now i gotta do some actual tagging#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gtn#harrow the ninth#htn#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe the third#mercymorn the first#augustine the first#palamedes sextus#palamedes the sixth#abigail pent#magnus quinn#john gaius#tlt shitposting#oh and i haven't finished Nona. i paused my reading because i found out there isn't a release date for the next book so I'm like#i need to make this last. i gotta ration this book out (<-stupid)
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You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again.
Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together.
If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it.
Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog.
You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication.
Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars.
You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy.
It’s not your fault.
#felix speaks#trauma#recovery#deconversion#ex cult#ex religious#ptsd#cptsd#healing#disabled#actually traumatized#spoonies#things i need to remind myself with too#it sucks to have to come to terms with the fact#but youll be so much better off once you stop denying yourself the help you need#also re: buying items meant for the disabled#do it!#you are not taking resources away#if you need it you need it#and the more in demand these items are the better theyll be made in the future
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