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hypmic-writings · 3 years ago

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Dotsuitare Honpo wedding day headcanons please! I just love these boys with all my heart 🧡🧡🧡

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Sasara Nurude x reader; Rosho Tsutsujimori x reader; Rei Amayado x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: This was super cute! I’ve done these before for MTC and Saburo, BAT, and Mantenrou as well. I like doing these ones haha they’re always so wholesome! Enjoy~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Sasara Nurude

Color Theme: Light Green and Silver

large sized indoor venue at a banquet hall

spring wedding

Sasara is over the moon that you accepted his marriage proposals - something that was definitely over the top

he’s excited to plan the wedding, but you should probably not let him plan too much otherwise he’ll ask for crazy, random things

like trying to hire strange magician troops to perform, dancing your first dance with a bunch of people as a flash mob, or making the wedding party wear rainbow colored polka dots

just smile and nod and let him pick the cake flavor

despite all his craziness though, Sasara is your rock throughout the wedding planning and will always remind you that it should be a fun, joyful event and not something you stress out over

at the actual wedding, Sasara’s jaw practically drops when he sees you in wedding attire and his eyes will open wide

he’s going to be staring at you shamelessly practically the whole ceremony and will definitely miss any parts he was supposed to speak/do something

he won’t care though because you’re the only thing he cares about

at the reception, Sasara is going to want to make a speech along with numerous toasts

he’s going to have the audience roaring with laughter and aweing at every adorable anecdote he tells about your relationship

Sasara will only take one (1) brief moment to say something serious about how much he loves and cares for you, and when he does, almost everyone will have a tear in their eye because it’s rare to see him so heartfelt and enamoured

directly after that though, he’s going to grab your hand and do your first dance to some crazy, outlandish song

the reception is big and loud and fun and over the top, but Sasara is sure that you never leave his gaze, always wanting to be around you and spend time dancing and having fun with you

he’ll definitely do a shot with Rosho and Rei, throwing his arms around them and thanking them for being such a great part of his life

before running back to you and twirling you around the dance floor once again

afterwards, Sasara will always refer to you as husband/wife/spouse and it always makes him giggle with glee because he can hardly believe that he gets to spend the rest of his life with the person that he loves

Rosho Tsutsujimori

Color Theme: Lilac and Gold

small sized indoor/outdoor venue at a hotel

autumn wedding

Rosho helps you plan the wedding and he’s actually extremely good at keeping a checklist and a spreadsheet and making sure everything gets done on time

he has an eye for decorations too so he’s more than happy to put together anything you want to make your wedding perfect

he’s also really good at making flower bouquets and he’s extremely patient when running through the seating chart with you

he’s your unofficial ‘scary dog privilege’ and whenever the caterers are taking too long to respond, you set Rosho on them so he can snap at them to hurry up because your wedding is of the the utmost importance

if you ever get nervous, Rosho is there to be rational and help you to calm down

Rosho is incredibly excited to marry you and he’s all smiles throughout the actual ceremony

unbeknownst to you though, he had a lot of nerves beforehand and actually needed a pep talk from Sasara and Rei so as to not run away from the alter

not because he didn’t want to marry you, but because he was so unsure of himself and because he didn’t know if you deserved him

but of course, he gets his head straight and is over the moon to be marrying you

Rosho definitely tears up a little bit when he sees you in your wedding attire, and he’s constantly giving you little nudges and smiles throughout the ceremony

at the reception, he’s gonna thank everyone, but he’ll be too nervous to get up on stage in front of everyone and say things about you, so he’ll leave that up to his best man, Sasara

which he definitely regrets because Sasara just makes a bunch of jokes and pokes fun at him

Rosho spends the night with his arm wrapped around you, not wanting to let you go because he loves you so much and he’s so happy that you’re finally his life partner

he’s a little nervous for the first dance, but you take his hand in your own and the two of you go through it together

which is a pretty good description of how your marriage is going to be - throughout everything, the two of you will work through it together

Rei Amayado

Color Theme: Red and Gold

small sized outdoor venue at a banquet hall

summer wedding

Rei has been married before, so he kind of knows what it should feel like, but nothing can prepare him for the unexpected nerves and excitement he feels at the prospect of marrying you

the wedding is small, just a handful of your closest friends and family because neither of you want to make it a big event

it’s intimate though and you’re surprised at how seriously Rei takes the event because you’re usually so used to him making jokes or light of situations

he helps you with any of the planning and spares no expense, wanting your wedding to be perfect and telling you that you can buy anything and everything you want

he pretty much makes your dream wedding come to life with whatever details, decorations, or implements you want

at the actual wedding ceremony, you’re surprised by how quiet and stoic Rei is, and he’s going to be quite emotional

he knows he hasn’t done all the right things in the past, and he’s determined to make it up to you and be the best husband he can be

so when he vows to be a loving, trusting, caring husband to you, he really does mean it and it shakes you even more when you see him tear up a little bit behind his glasses

he definitely adores you in your wedding attire, but no amount of serious thoughts can stop this man from imagining you that night when he gets to take your attire off

during the reception, Rei drinks to celebrates and encourages others to do the same, starting the party off strong

despite how small the venue and guest list are, the party is roaring and everyone is having the time of their lives

the food and deserts are all going to be lavish and fresh and of the highest caliber, something Rei will make sure of

the two of you might have your own speeches, or you might just make a small one together, thanking everyone for coming

Rei is more focused on you than anything else throughout the night, wanting to make sure that you’re comfortable and not feeling overwhelmed

at some point he pulls you away from the crowd to kiss your head and quietly whisper that you’ve made him the happiest man in the world that night

and that he can’t wait to start the journey of being your husband with you

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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gendercensus · 4 years ago

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Supplementary survey: they/them reflexives, The Sir/Ma’am Issue, and Spivak vs. Elverson

This short, clarifying survey ran from 4th until 24th April 2021. There were 2,998 usable responses. Unlike the annual Gender Census survey, this one was open to anyone of any gender, provided they lived in an English-speaking country.

It asked about two things:

They/them verbs and reflexives - basically whether people who prefer they/them pronouns prefer the reflexive to be themself or themselves, and which people feel is more “correct”.

Sir/ma’am/? - investigating why people use sir/ma’am in areas where it’s polite and common to do so, and whether there are any viable nonbinary or gender-neutral alternatives.

This blog post will also investigate the Spivak vs. Elverson issue, which was actually a separate poll that took place on two social networks.

THEY/THEM VERBS AND REFLEXIVES

Someone asked about themself vs. themselves, and it reminded me of some of the they/them issues that people ask about in feedback boxes and various confusions surrounding them.

Singular they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

Plural they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

What is the “correct” reflexive for each of these?

You can see the statistics in more detail here, but here’s the graph as an overview:

Participants were asked a series of questions about singular they pronouns. Everyone was asked a “which is correct” question, and participants who sometimes or always like to be called ”they” were also asked about their personal preferences.

The graph is a view of only participants who sometimes or always like to be called “they”.

Verbs. As you can see, participants overwhelmingly (94.3%) wanted people to use plural verbs (”they are reading a book”) when talking about them in the third person - even though the percentage of people who thought that was the most “correct” form was a little lower (81.8%). This was lower because 11.4% of participants who preferred “they” answered “both are correct”.

Reflexives. People were much more likely to say that both themself and themselves were correct (28.3%), and more likely to have no preference between the two (17.4%). However, themself was still more popular overall at 59.3%, and 47.3% thought themself was grammatically correct.

You as a control. I also asked all participants whether yourself or yourselves was more correct when addressing one person as a kind of control question, because they is almost grammatically identical to you - it can refer to one person or multiple people, it takes plural verbs even when referring to/addressing one person, and in that situation only the reflexive changes. Many people who say that singular they is grammatically incorrect have no issues with singular you, so it seemed like something that might be interesting to compare. In the graph above you can see that 93.6% of people thought yourself was more correct; only 4.2% of they-accepting participants felt that both yourself and yourselves were equally correct when addressing one person.

There were a couple of things that came up several times in the comments:

“They is” is common in African-American Vernacular English (AAVE), and probably in other dialects too. As I don’t live in the US I’m pretty unfamiliar with this dialect, but either way that seems fine to me. It’s part of why I also asked for participants’ locations, because I wanted others to be able to download the results and see if some regions were more likely to use some words/constructions than others.

There were some alternatives to themself and themselves presented, such as theirself and theirsen. Both of these points lead nicely to the third...

The idea that any language choice is more “correct” than another is quite prescriptive. What feels correct or natural varies depending on a lot of factors, such as where in the world you learned English, and there is no such thing as objective correctness when it comes to such a broad and variable language as English.

I am aware of and agree with that third bullet point, so my asking which phrases were more “correct” was a bit of a trick question. It was a good way to get a feel for people’s linguistic instincts.

I also thought it was interesting that participants who never wanted to be called they were slightly more likely to side with the most popular view on what is “correct” across the board, and less likely to say “both are correct”.

PLURAL VS. SINGULAR THEY

I actually ran another version of this survey first and then scrapped the responses, because it was clear that my survey design was leading to some pretty confused and unhelpful data! Among other things, it asked participants whether they preferred singular or plural they for themselves and then directed them to particular questions based on their answer, and the comments suggested that people either didn’t really understand the distinction or meant different things by those terms, even though I had added help text.

This is my understanding:

Singular they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to one person. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themself and themselves are both common. Example usage: They are getting themself a cup of coffee. They bought themselves a nice new hat.

Plural they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to two or more people. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themselves is almost universal (with the exception of regional variations such as theirselves). Example usage: They are getting themselves some coffee together. They all bought hats for themselves.

Some plural/multiple people refer to themselves as “we” and prefer to be addressed as “they/themselves” (which they call plural they) because they are a group of individuals sharing one body.

The reason I initially asked directly about singular vs. plural they is because I was concerned that plural/multiple systems would cause some statistical confusion. Many plural people have asked me to add plural they to the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, but since it has never been entered by over 1% of participants I have never had reason to do so. As far as I knew, the only difference between singular and plural they is the reflexive (themself for singular and themselves for plural), so I wanted to be able to investigate non-plural people in isolation, and I was curious to know about any trends or differences. I wanted to find out if I should be doing anything differently to ensure that Gender Census statistics are helpful.

So, I swapped out the badly-designed question for a straight-up checkbox, a “check this box if you’re plural/multiple” type of thing, with a note that participants should fill in the survey once per body wherever possible, and then I made some graphs.

Here you can see that plural systems were still more likely to prefer people to use themself to refer to them rather than themselves, though the margin is narrower:

Plural participants were also more likely to say that they sometimes or never want people to refer to them as they, whereas non-plural people were more likely to want people to always refer to them as they (or they just feel fine about it):

There’s not a lot in it, though. It’s all relatively evenly distributed, with no strong leader in either category there.

For the curious: 8.2% of participants checked the plural/multiple box.

In conclusion: plural and non-plural people alike all prefer people to use themself when referring to them in the third person using they/them pronouns, and I feel that there is probably no need to ask about plurality or separate out data from plural people in future. (Asking about this and seeing the responses did in part prompt me to start an anonymous feedback form for plural participants of the Gender Census, though.)

THE SIR/MA’AM ISSUE

For several years participants have been asking me in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey to also ask about gender-inclusive or nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir and ma’am. I’ve largely not done anything about it, because when informally asking around I’ve generally had the response “just don’t say sir or ma’am, just leave it out altogether.” I live in the UK, where if someone calls you sir/ma’am you’re either looking at home in a fancy restaurant for billionnaires or you’re being made fun of - or sometimes both.

However, during this year’s annual survey while talking about it in a little more depth I learned that there are places in the world where sir/ma’am is very common, required for politeness, and basically inescapable. Nonbinary people in those areas are really struggling, because they do actually need a nonbinary-friendly stand-in for those terms - omitting the sir/ma’am isn’t an option.

Again, the location question was asked so that anyone else downloading the spreadsheet of responses can analyse by region to find out whether sir/ma’am is ubiquitous in particular regions and in which contexts it is used, and can even check whether there is a region-specific alternative to sir/ma’am emerging. I asked several questions about sir/ma’am, including about reasons/contexts and personal preferences, and some superficial analysis is included on the spreadsheet of responses.

But the juicy bit is the nonbinary-specific and gender-inclusive alternative words, right?

[The counting formula is case-sensitive so I made everything lowercase to make the count a little more accurate.]

Suggested gender-inclusive alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 4.1% (151)

friend - 2.2%

comrade - 1.2%

captain - 0.7%

ser - 0.5%

mate - 0.4%

m - 0.3%

per - 0.3%

boss - 0.3%

folks - 0.3% (9)

Suggested nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 8.3% (250)

mix - 0.7%

tiz - 0.5%

friend - 0.4%

ser - 0.4%

comrade - 0.3%

mixter - 0.3%

captain - 0.2%

ind - 0.2%

mir - 0.2% (6)

So it looks like Mx (pronounced “mix” or with a toneless vowel that sounds a bit like “mux”) is the clear winner in both categories. If you want to try to introduce a gender-neutral version of sir/ma’am in your area this one is probably your best bet.

SPIVAK VS. ELVERSON

This wasn’t part of the same survey! It was a Twitter poll and a Mastodon poll that ran for one week and ended today, and I’m putting it here because it has to go somewhere.

Sometimes people refer to the ey/em and e/em “versions” of the Spivak pronoun set, which makes my eyebrows do things, because they’re not both Spivak. They are distinct established pronoun sets with their own names.

Spivak - e/em/eir/eirs/emself - written about by Michael Spivak in the 1990s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

Elverson - ey/em/eir/eirs/emself - created by Christine M Elverson in the 1970s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

The Elverson set is older, but it’s less well-known for some reason, so they’re assumed to be variants of Spivak due to the similarity in spelling.

I was recently asked how we can know which is more popular, given the “oh this checkbox option is close enough, I’ll just choose that instead of typing in my very slightly different set” effect and the “hmm this checkbox option is very close to my set, I’m probably meant to choose this one” effect, plus the boost that checkbox options get with the “oh I hadn’t thought of that one but yeah, why not” effect. Spivak (e/em) is on the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, so it appears to be much more popular than Elverson (ey/em)... but is it really?

I ran a poll on both Twitter and Mastodon, and then used a spreadsheet to extract the useful numbers. There were 141 relevant votes after one week. I wouldn’t usually make annual-survey-altering decisions based on a sample that small, but in this case the results are extremely decisive:

It seems that the highest proportion of people who like at least one of the sets are happy for both to be used, at 48%. 45% prefer ey/em (Elverson) and 7% prefer e/em (Spivak). This is pretty stunning! I’ve been presenting e/em (Spivak) as a checkbox option on the Gender Census annual survey for years, possibly since the first survey in 2013, and because it’s a checkbox option it seems to be consistently a lot more popular than ey/em (Elverson). That’s 4.3% and 0.6% respectively in the 2021 survey. But this poll suggests that actually ey/em (Elverson) is much more popular when the two pronoun sets are viewed on a level playing field.

When you remove all “I don’t mind” votes, you get this:

Over 6 times as many people prefered Elverson!

I will definitely be adding Elverson to the Gender Census next year, just so that we can split the e/em and ey/em votes and really get to the bottom of this.

Anyway, while we’re on the topic, ey/em takes singular verbs most of the time.

#results #spivak #elverson #sir/ma'am #they/them #singular they #plural they #pronouns #neopronouns

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headcans-oneshots-and-stuff · 4 years ago

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Pregnant s/o (Preferences)

Requested by the amazing and breathtaking @ravennightingaleandavatempus: If your asks are still open how would the batboys be around a pregnant S/O.

A/N: Also just wanted to mention that none of these boys would be having gender reveal parties with explosives or anything else dangerous (or in general) because they have brain cells

Dick

Okay so that might be a repetitive motive in this, but he’ll crank up his protectivness by just about 100%

But first things first

When you find out that your pregnant and you tell Dick he’ll be so over the moon

like he’ll want to throw the biggest party to celebrate because HE IS GETTING LITTLE GRAY-SONS OR DAUGHTERS (see what I did there)

He’ll definitly brag in front of his siblings and everyone else he knows because HE HIT THE JACKPOT

Honestly will definitly read up a lot on how to be a good dad and would go and ask Alfred or Louis for advice (He’ll rather be caught dead than ask Bruce for advice cause he wants a lot for his futre child(ren), but he definitly doesn’t want them to become the way he and his siblings are now)

He would fully induldge in your cravings and other pregnancy things

you want cucumber pizza with nutella instead of tomato scauce? Guess who’ll be down at the cornor store getting the ingredients

You’re feet hurt and you’re cranky?

Dick will move heaven and earth to make you comfortable and give you a massage

He won’t go out on patrol too much during your pregnancy because the thought of you being left behind alone if something happened to him was too much for him to take

And like I said he’ll get very very protective

You won’t go out alone to any dangerous Gotham areas anymore

No more heavy lifting either

Also he might as well pick you up and move to the manor because there Alfred is there to cater to your every need

Let’s just say it will be an interesting 9-10 months....

Jason

Okay so Jason isn’t quite sure about having kids

He knows that he is a cesspool of trauma and he isn’t sure if he’d be the best choice to raise other human beings

So when you come to him all excited and tell him that you think you’re pregnant he’s torn

He’ll try not to show it, but it’s quite obvious

It’s not that he’s not happy, but still

After that it will be a bit tense at home until you had a doctors appointment that really confirms that you’re indeed carying a little Todd

Jason was there with you and you were almost scared how he’d react but in a twist of fate when he found out he immediatly started smiling and kissing you

Because that made it real in more ways then one

YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE BABY YOU MIXED WITH A BABY JASON

Jason knows no matter how fucked up he is, you’re going to be the most amazing mom that could ever be and you’d make sure that he’d be the most amazing dad possible too

Now Jason isn’t as quick to adapt to your pregnancy as Dick is

He’d definitly pour you coffee a few too many times before realizing that you weren’t allowed to drink cafeein

But he would manage soon enough

If he’s smoking at that moment he’ll definitly stop

He will not risk your little ones life no matter how much he like to smoke

na-huh no way

Also he is even more protective than Dick

He knows that Gotham is a dark place

so either he’ll too get you to a safe place where he can take care of you and your future pumpkin

Or he’ll just straight up move to canader or something where there’s no Joker who’d be near enough to bomb up a block when you were in it

Again, interesting times are coming

Tim

Timothy will be - no matter how much Dick reads - the most prepared, hands down

Because let’s not forget he’s one of the smartest Waynes (even though the other’s aren’t far behind)

When he started noticing that you’re acting weird he’ll loook it up and he’ll figure out that you’re pregnant sooner or later

He’s a very attentive s/o and he pays attention to you

So he’d probably actually be the one to tell you that you’re pregnant

But once it’s actually confirmed he’ll also be the chillest one

He looked up everything he has to know and made spreadsheets and lists and documents for what to do in literally all possible situations so he’ll be realitivly relaxed

But that doesn’t mean he isn’t also just a little bit overprotective

But just a little bit

He’ll let you do your thing as long as it isn’t dangerous or medically seen unclever

But he’ll also be there for you to cater your needs and your cravings, etc.

He also tries to stop drinking coffee, but he fails

He tones it down tho, but still you won’t get rid of the smell of coffee in your apartement

Now if you ever even mention wanting a sip he’ll hide every last gram that contains caffein in a place only he will find it

(It’s probably hidden somewhere really obvious where you’ll definitly find it but you’ll let him believe he managed to hide it well)

Tim will be the one to start falling into the baby fever the most

will go on online shopping sprees for baby clothes and furnitere and baby proof everything five months before the due date would arrive

Will also write very long lists with possible baby names (from which like 1/3 are references but I digress)

All in all this would possible be the most ’normal’ pregnancy

Damian (aged up obviously)

Okay so Damian is definitly a thing

He wasn’t conventionally raised or even anything close to that

I mean we all know how he was concieved soooooo

But - just like with everything else - he’ll want to be the best possible father (and s/o) there could ever be

So be fucking prepared for a wild ride

When you tell him you’re pregnant he is full with pride about his presticious bloodline to be continued with the added advantage of you

He’ll definitly annoy his siblings more than Dick could ever

And he’ll start making “jokes” about how he was going to be a better dad than Bruce

He will never mention anything like that to Alfred tho, it’s the opposite actually, he’ll come to him with pen and paper and ask for advice

Will boast that he had a child first to Jon and that his child will be better than Jon’s if he will ever have one

Also he’ll actually tell Talia about his future offspring and her grandchild, but only to tell her that if she was ever to endanger you or your future little one he’ll not hesitate to end her life

So yep there’s that

He will want you to stay in the manor like Dick would because there you’d be protected by a lot of vigilantes and money

lot’s of money

He’ll also be the one to - while he’ll try to do his best to take care of your need - ask Cassandra to help you

She’ll be overjoyed and (in a not completely hidden quest to become the godmother of the child) will become your shadow

Not in an annoying way

She’ll be there to help you with everything Damian can’t and she’d definitly organize a girls day where you and all of her other sisters go out and buy baby things

Also Damian may or may not want to name the child Damian Junior, but you’ll definitly keep him from doing so

All in all he’s actually somewhere in the middle between his other brothers, but it’s a nice balance

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ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa · 5 years ago

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Footprints in the Sand

Part Twelve: Hunger

Summary/Author's Note: We are in Dorne people! You wake up in bed with your lovers for the first morning of what you hope will be the rest of your days. Oberyn tells you about his family and the two of you share some quality morning time.

I need a fucking spreadsheet for Oberyn’s Daughters. I have a google doc and at this time in the Footprints era he only has 6 (there are two left to be born). Trust me, the age calculations were...time consuming.

(gif credit to @pajamasecrets, yes this is my header. It's perfect.)

Pairing: Oberyn x Ellaria x Lannister!Reader Word Count: 4.6k Warnings/Rating (NC-17/18+) - language, cockwarming, Oberyn uses ridiculous blades for the AESTHETIC, threesome, oral fem!receiving x2, penetration, lady on top, face sitting, mild breath play if you squint... (ALL OF THIS WILL BE HAPPENING IN PART 13, I HAD TO CUT IT.)

[Part Eleven] [Masterlist]

The sounds of birds quietly singing outside the open window in the branches of the citrus trees drew you slowly out of slumber. If you strained your ears you could hear the distinct sounds of the ocean crashing against the sands as the city started to rise and begin it's day. With tired limbs, shaky and weak like a newborn foal, you slowly sat up and pushed your wild hair out of your face. Even laden with fatigue, you had never felt more rested.

Ellaria slept quietly beside you, naked and draped in one of the many silk sheets that adorned the massive bed that the three of you now shared. Her ebony curls fanned over the pillows and her copper skin looked so soft in the morning glow of the sunbeams filtering through the gently swaying curtains. It was clear to you then that you would never get used to how truly beautiful she was, nor the idea that you were to wake beside her every morning. Was such a gift your new reality?

Looking to your left, you noticed the third member of your triad was missing.

"Oberyn?" You asked quietly to an empty room.

Ellaria turned over and pulled the sheet with her to help nestle herself down into the pillows and it made you smile. You could look for Oberyn alone--after spending the majority of the trip home sick she needed as much rest as she could get. Home. The idea of referring to such a place, and the ease at which the thought came to your mind made you feel light and giddy.

You grabbed one of Ellaria's oversized silk dressing robes off of the edge of the overflowing trunks and draped it over your shoulders. It didn't tie in the front and confirmed that it was more for decoration than for actual concealing of your nakedness. But it was soft, the royal blue slipping across your skin in a way that made you feel devine--the two of them had a knack for collecting devine and beautiful things.

The quiet trickle of water drew you to the room off to the side of the master bedroom. Before the three of you had tumbled into bed and well, into one another, Ellaria had given you a tour. The washroom was off to the side with a large marble pool for bathing, an ornate sun-shaped looking glass on the wall, and shelves full of scented oils and healing balms. Such luxury was something you had never seen, not even in the red keep, where money was thrown at armies instead of at the city's infrastructure.

Just as you had deducted, Oberyn sat in an armless, straight backed chair that he had pulled closer to one of the mirrors. A bowl of water sat on the table closest to him, and you leaned against the doorway and watched as he shaved. Despite the sunlight coming in from the window above the pool, a few candelabras flickered closer to where he was working to give him more light. There was yet to be a lighting in which his tanned skin didn't look utterly breathtaking to you and as you watched him drag his blade slowly up his throat and wipe away a bit of the soap on his neck, you had to remind yourself to in fact take a breath.

Your hand dipped down the valley of your breasts as you were suddenly filled with the desire to touch him. And yet, you didn't want him to stray from his task. You wanted to observe the way he moved, the way the muscles of his back shamelessly made your mouth water. The obvious solution for now was to touch yourself. Your fingers had barely ghosted the apex of your thighs when he spoke.

"What are you doing, lover?" His voice came as he looked at you in the mirror over his shoulder.

You took your hand away from your body and walked towards him, the silk of the robe blowing behind you gracefully while you walked. "Nothing.."

"Don't lie to your prince," he said, still holding a smile as he balanced the blade across the top of the bowl. "It looked like you were about to enjoy yourself to the image of me--come here." He grabbed your wrists and pulled you against him. He looked you up and down slowly, his dark eyes drinking you in as he reached up and pushed the robe from your shoulders to pool in the floor at your feet. "Aren't you a vision?"

"You flatter me."

"I simply observe."

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he transferred his grip from your wrist to your hand and brought your knuckles to his lips.

“Best sleep I’ve had in years.”

“Good.”

You touched the smooth skin of his throat with the tip of your finger. The soap he had lathered onto his skin smelled of honeysuckle and rosemary. You desperately wanted to kiss along his jaw but he had only finished about half of his shaving, sculpting the sharp beard that ran along his pointed features perfectly. "May I?"

"May you what?" He looked up as he helped you slide into his lap.

"Teach me," you said, quietly as you straddled his thighs and nodded to the blade and then gestured to his jaw.

"Hmm," he made a thoughtful noise as his hands slid up your sides and cupped your breasts. His thumbs played over your nipples, drawing goosebumps to the surface of your skin. "I don't allow many people to have a blade that close to my throat."

"I overstep--"

He pinched your right nipple gently and stopped your words before you could apologize. "You never overstep in my presence. Whose bed are you in?" He took your hand and guided it between your bodies as he started to grow hard against your thigh.

"Yours," You gasp as he wraps your fingers around his thick shaft, growing larger by the moment.

"And who am I?"

"A prince of Dorne."

"Exactly."

He put his hand behind your head and gripped your hair, pulling you forward enough to kiss you hard. You stroked him gently as you felt your own core start to respond to him. A small whimper fell from your mouth as you felt his fingers part your folds. You were sore from the night before but not enough to push away his affections. His name fell from your lips and his large hands cupped your ass and lifted you slightly.

"I'll teach you," he mumbled against your lips. "On the condition that you sit that beautiful cunt on top of my cock while you do."

You nodded as he gripped your ass and spread you slightly, making it easier for you to raise up on your knees. Using his shoulders for balance, you let him slowly impale you. He made room for himself in a way that made you clench against the intrusion. He encouraged you to relax as he nosed your neck and up to your cheek.

"How are you fairing from last night?" He asked, a soft grunt coming from his throat as you get settled.

"Sore, but I'll get used to it," you play your fingers in the back of his hair and watch his face. "I--um," you swallow hard and fight to keep your blush down. "I dreamed about what we did."

"About which part, my dear?"

"About," you lowered your voice and said quietly. "About tasting Ellaria."

"Hmm, I dare say you enjoyed that almost as much as she did." He chuckled and put his knuckle under your chin before you could look away. “No shame in that--who wouldn’t want to taste something that sweet?”

He trailed his fingers along the curve of your jaw and down over one of the mouth-shaped bruises on your neck. He had already apologized for them and you wouldn’t hear it again. You had enjoyed the making of them just as much as he had. When you bit your lip his cock twitched inside of you and you readjusted on his lap with a soft groan.

“Easy,” he chided you softly. “I can’t fuck you until I finish shaving.” His grin was as mischievous as his desire to keep you waiting. It excited you, made you long for unspoken promises you knew he intended to keep. “Grab the blade--I’ll teach you.”

You looked to the table on your right and picked up the dagger off of the bowl. It was a solid weight in your hand, not too heavy, but not at all flexible or flimsy. Unlike his other blades that you had seen on his belts and belongings, the handle was not adorned with a snake or sun or any kind of writing. In fact, it was pretty plain. Its charred black handle was crafted from the horn of an animal of some kind and wrapped in a leather strap for grip--despite the lack-luster appearance, it was clear that the blade was incredibly sharp.

“Should you use this on your face?” You raised an eyebrow and balanced it gingerly in your hand.

“What else would I use?” he chuckled as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Now, firm grip. You’re going to need one hand on the blade and one hand on my neck.”

“Oberyn--” you said, suddenly feeling less sure of yourself.

“You can do it,” he encouraged. “I happen to like the view better like this.” He smirked, looking at your breasts. He started to lean forward to put his mouth on them and you pressed him back against the chair, firmly.

“Stay still,” you teased and he nodded.

“As you command, my love,” he leaned his head to the side. “Use your free hand to press gently and pull down on my skin. It will make it taught, and then you can shave down with the grain. Short, smooth strokes.”

You bit your lip in concentration as you did just as he said. Weeks of being in his bed and your heart still hammered when you were this close to him. Here sat one of the most deadly men you had ever known and his calloused but gentle hands cupped your ass as you held a rather large blade to his throat. The intimacy and trust of the situation was not lost on you.

The blade gave a little resistance as you started to drag it gently through the soap against his neck. The suds parted revealing his skin in the most entrancing way and you carved a path down from his jaw to where his previous lines ended.

“Was Doran upset with you? Yesterday, that is,” you asked quietly once you finished your line and moved to dip the knife in the bowl of water and wipe it on the cloth.

“Yes, of course,” Oberyn, took the chance to smile as you paused in your process. “But it wasn’t the first time, and I promise you it won’t be the last.”

Your stomach turned at his words and you looked at him in earnest. “I don’t want to go back--”

“I won’t let that happen.”

His tone was sharp enough to make you flinch but his hands moved up your back as if to soothe the sting from his words. Although you didn’t know how he planned on keeping it from happening, you wanted to believe him. You had to.

The two of you sat in silence as you carefully moved the blade down his throat, taking any hair with the soap before rinsing, drying, and starting a new line. You went much slower than was probably needed, but if you drew blood on him, you would have never forgiven yourself--although Oberyn would have probably found it amusing. He took the cloth and held it for you gently, his eyes softening as he gazed upon you. The trickle of the water in the bowl sounded far too loud in all of the quiet, so you cleared your throat.

"Tell me about your family, other than Doran--your children, perhaps?"

"You wish to know about my daughters?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and when you nodded he continued. "I have six."

"Six??" You asked, unable to keep the shock from your voice.

"Yes," he said simply. His voice continued to hold a good-natured tone, despite the fact that yours teetered on audacity.

"I'm sorry, that's just so many for--"

"An unmarried man?" He moved his hand up your side and rubbed his thumb along the side of your breast slowly. "It's much different down here in the southern part of the world, my love. As I've said of our Ellaria--bastards are born of passion, of love, and we do not despise them. Should the need arise, any one of my girls would be accepted as a princess of Dorne and would be allowed to sit on the throne."

"I didn't mean any offense--"

"And you have given me none. I just wish you to unlearn the ways of such small minded people. I know it will take time, but you live here now. Your home is in Dorne, so are your people." He reached up and brushed your hair back from your neck.

"I'll try." You sat up a little, adjusting yourself around his length as you resumed the task of shaving his face. The way he spoke to you didn't make you feel foolish or small, much like his voice when you asked about the blade, he wanted nothing more than to teach you.

"That's all I ask." He put his hands back on your hips and leaned his head back against the chair, exposing his throat to you again. "Let's see, my oldest, Obara, is eighteen. Her mother was a whore from oldtown. She is an excellent fighter."

"Like her father."

"Yes," he smiled sadly. "Unfortunately the gods also gave her my anger. But I don't blame her, considering her mother's love was also full of betrayal."

"Where is her mother?" You asked without thinking and before you could apologize, Oberyn answered.

"Dead."

You kept quiet and let him continue. The blade of the dagger whispered through the soap once again and you meticulously inspected his skin for stray hairs. Hundreds of questions came to the tip of your tongue and although you were certain he would answer them all, it was enough to listen to him tell his stories the way he wanted to.

"Sarella," he paused as he said the name quietly. "Well, I guess she'd be almost nine. Also born in Old Town. Her mother is captain of a trading ship. She writes to me. Told me of her birth--perhaps one day I'll get to meet her."

"Is that something you want?"

"Of course. But only if Sarella wishes it as well."

“I can't imagine a girl not wanting to meet her father if it means she would be a princess." You smiled and worked on the last section of his neck, priding yourself on the fact that you had managed not to accidentally draw blood on him.

"Her happiness is more important than her title. And if she is happy at sea with her mother, then so am I."

“Not a lot of fathers think that way.” You nodded and pressed gently on his skin. "Almost done."

"Take your time," he reassured with a relaxed sigh before continuing. "Nymeria just had her fifteenth name day, and she was born of a Noble woman in Volantis," Oberyn said factually as he trailed his finger up your spine slowly. "She looks like her mother. Acts like her, too." He chuckled. "Tyene, now her mother was a Septa."

You paused and leaned back, unable to mask the obvious shock on your face. "A Septa?"

"Scandalous, isn't it?" He raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Am I to believe that you charmed a woman from her own faith and into your bed?"

"You can believe what you want but the proof of our endeavor is thirteen years of age and currently living at the Water Gardens of the Martells." He laughed as you placed the blade back in the bowl and used the cloth to wipe the excess soap from his jaw. "She is the only one with blonde hair and pale skin--and you know that didn't come from me."

"You speak of them fondly. Not just your daughters, but...their mothers."

"I do."

"Did you love them?"

"I did. Once upon a time."

"You are…" you paused, shaking your head and moved to put the towel on the table.

"What?"

"Nothing." Your voice was sharper than you wanted it to be and looked away from him.

"I'm what?" he challenged. "I love each one of my daughters, just as I loved their mothers. That love may have burned out quickly, may have been nothing more than passionate infatuation but it doesn't make it less real. My heart has travelled a great distance before finding its permanent home with Ellaria...and you."

“Permanent?”

“Have you ever known me to be untruthful?” he asked and you shook your head ‘no’.

Did his list of lovers intimidate you? Did knowing he held genuine emotion for them make it any easier to swallow? Jealousy was a horrible thing and yet it burned in your heart for no reason at all. These women were long gone, lost to the past of his many lived lifetimes, and here you sat, perched on his cock no less, trying not to feel jealous. It was a childish way of thinking, a foolish way, and you were neither a child or a fool. He must have seen the anguish of your thoughts on your face because his hand reached up and grabbed your jaw roughly.

"Do you wish me to stop? Does my touch offend you, now?"

"No." You answered him stubbornly as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your cheeks.

"Do you want me to tell you that you're far more lovely than any of them? That they all pale next to the beauty of my stolen lioness?" He raised his eyebrow again and when you tried to jerk your face from his grip, he held fast.

"Don't patronize me, Oberyn," you scowled as you put your hands on his chest and clenched around his cock. You suddenly wished he wasn't inside of you, distracting you, pulling you from the jealousy that your mind so desperately wanted to cling to. And yet, you wanted him deeper, closer, you wanted to claim him in a way that the flames of his past no longer could. All you had to do was say it.

"Then what would you have me do?" He asked as he pushed his hips up slightly, the feeling making your eyes flutter as you dug your nails into his flesh. "Say what you're feeling. What you want."

"I want," you took a steady breath before opening your eyes and looking at him with a level gaze. "I want to know that Ellaria and I are the only ones that possess your heart. That you don't look at me and see a foolish girl who has never left home, who doesn't have adventures to tell you about, or a long list of colorful lovers. I want to know that you won't grow bored of me."

“Ah,” he nodded. “I see.”

“You see? That’s it?”

Before you could pull away his hand slipped from your jaw to the back of your neck. He pulled you into him and kissed your lips with such a tenderness that made the animosity melt from your very skin. You desperately wanted to hold on to the small amount of anger you had, whatever upper hand it gave you was a lie, but it was better than continuing to feel naive in front of him.

“There’s that fire,” he whispered against your lips and you succumbed to him at last.

“What do you mean?”

“You insult yourself when there is nothing to insult. What an honor it is to help you write your own adventures." He moved his fingers to his lips and licked the tips of his first two. "And I say you've already had quite a first one--scaling down the Red Keep and running away with your two lovers is nothing to make light of."

"I guess you're right," you say quietly. You rock your hips forward once and he hisses, but still keeps his eyes locked on yours.

“You are not the wilting flower that the Lannisters have led you to believe your whole life. How does Ellaria feel about timid creatures?”

“Timid is boring.”

"And how wonderful will it be, to make it my life's work, to make you experience a love so exquisite, it will ruin all other partners you may have had in this life," he kept his tone even as he slipped his hand between your bodies and pressed his dampened fingers against your clit. "Or the next."

"Oberyn," you gasped quietly, raising up as he started to gently move his fingers back and forth. He had been inside of you the entire time and you were practically dripping because of it. Your own wetness soaked the inside of your thighs and dampened his lap as your velvety heat kept his cock tight and warm. You didn't know how much longer you could stand him not fucking you like he had the night before.

"And how are you feeling about my affections now?" He asked.

"Better," you whimpered.

"Better? Hmm, an improvement. I'll just have to keep reminding you until you're confident in them."

His free hand pressed into the small of your back to encourage you to move your hips. Obeying his silent command, you put your hands back on his chest and started to ride his lap. The stretch of him inside of you was still a tight fight due to the lack of movement for so long, and it was one of the most exquisite feelings in the world. Your head hung forward slightly, your hair falling over the front of your shoulder, and you made a soft sound as he pinched your clit. The way the head of him pressed against the sweet spot towards the end of you, made you ache for more. The feeling was intoxicating, addictive, and made you feel powerful in ways nothing else ever would.

“Oberyn--”

“Yes, my love?”

"I am more lovely than your…," you swallowed hard as you forced the squeak from your voice. "Your other lovers."

"What did you say?" Oberyn moved his hand from your slit and grabbed your hips roughly, his tone surprised but still the deep rumble it had been.

"I said," you looked at him through the curtain of your hair before pushing it back and repeating yourself. "I am more lovely than your other lovers. Ellaria and I are lovelier and you will never grow bored of our bed."

“A much better tone.” He smirked, a grin that slowly reached from ear to ear and held a pride that was almost palpable. "And what makes you say that?"

"You're here, aren't you?" You leaned your forehead against his and whispered against his lips. "And whose cunt are you inside of?"

He chuckled quietly and matched your tone. "Hmm, I suppose you're right."

You yelped as he surged forward and kissed you hard, his tongue parting your lips as if he wanted to taste the words you had just said. He fisted his hand in your hair and held your head still as he devoured your mouth and thrust his hips up against yours. Your hands found his neck and moved up to cup his jaw, holding him in place with only a fraction of the strength he held you with.

His neck and face were soft and fragrant from the soaps you had just used to shave him. His beard once again was its normal crisp line that framed the edge of his jaw. He looked every bit the Prince that he was and you wanted him in the same desperate way that you wanted him in King's Landing.

Would that ever go away? Would the burning desire to claim such a powerful entity as your own ever truly leave you? The way Oberyn and Ellaria spoke of each other, it didn't seem so. And now that love included you. A triad of adoration, of burning passion that would follow the three of you to your dying day--you were ready to be consumed by it. You wanted to be consumed, to be devoured, and in their arms it wasn't a terrifying thought.

"Fuck me."

Normally such words fell from your lips, but this time, it was Oberyn that said them.

He purred against your skin as his large hand came down on your ass with a smack spurring your hips into action. You wanted to own him in the way he did you, possess his soul in the way he possessed yours. So if he wanted you to fuck him, you would happily oblige.

"I want your mouth on my tits," you panted as you grabbed him by his dark hair and shoved his face down against your chest. He obeyed, bowing his head to mouth at your breasts. He bit, he sucked, he grabbed handfuls of your chest.

“Like that, sweet girl?” he said, his beard rubbing harshly against your soft skin in a way that made you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him closer.

You leaned your head over his as you continued to ride him relentlessly and he held your hips, pulling you down on his cock over and over. A trickle of warmth started low in your belly as the tip of him brushed the end of you and you held still to preserve the feeling for a moment extra. It was a desperate fuck that was unlike the night before. It was about staking his claim on your body, or perhaps you were staking yours on his.

“Oberyn,” you whined as you felt your body teetering on the edge of its release.

“My body is but a throne for you and Ellaria. To use as you see fit and to sit on as it pleases you,” he looked up at you, his neck straining from the angle and making his voice a breathy plea. “Such a gorgeous woman and you’re all mine.”

“As you are mine,” you leaned down to capture his lips as you breathed your words into his mouth. You gasped and pulled away from his kiss as your orgasm took you abruptly. Your nails pressed into the back of his scalp as you bared down on his lap, enveloping his entire length and holding it inside you in a greedy moment of pure ecstasy.

His arm tightened around you as he cupped your pussy and used his hand to help bring you through the pleasure. You felt the wetness of your release on his fingers and lap as he stood, clutching you to his chest and giving you a moment to clench your legs around him. With a firm kick, he knocked the chair back out of the way and laid you bare on the floor.

“Apologies, but if I don’t fill you up soon, I may go mad,” he braced his arms on the ground next to your head as he rammed himself up inside of you and you pulled his weight down on top of your body.

“We wouldn’t want that,” you moaned as you claimed his mouth just as he claimed you with his release and a groan of pure adoration.

Perm Tag List 1: If there is a strike, it would not let me tag you, as always thank you for your patience with the tags as there is 175 of you tagged in this fic.

@rae-gar-targaryen @zeldasayer @winters-buck @gooddaykate @jigglemiwa @seawhisperer @halefirewarrior @ripleyafterdark @phoenixhalliwell @thebakerstboyskeeper @honestlystop @lackofhonor @readsalot73 @cryptkeepersoul @skdubbs @cahooter @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @googiebeankat @dinohaze @saltywintersoldat @huliabitch @tainted-gay-ghost @roxypeanut @hayley-the-comet @domino-oh-damn @maybege @corvueros @pettyprocrastination @qveenbvtch @hopplessdreamer

@apples-of-february @pocket-of-anxiety @marie-is-in-the-dark @agentpike @pascalplease @cosmicbug379 @your-pixels-are-showing @gamingaquarius @blushingwueen @crimsonandwhiteprincess @bluemoon-glen @river-soul @robbinholland @nerdypinupcrystal @fleetwoodmactshirt @jaime1110 @fioccodineveautunnale @fantasticcopeaglepasta @kid-from-new-zealand

#oberyn martell #oberyn martell x reader #oberyn martell x you #Game of Thrones #got #oberyn x ellaria #oberyn x reader #prince oberyn #oberyn x ellaria x reader #Pedro pascal #pedro character fic #Pedro Pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #footprints in the sand

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appalachiananarchist · 3 years ago

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@ancatmom

I have read your reply and wanted to give it a better response than this, but this is the best I can do right now. This is because I am exhausted and need to sleep before I exert any brain power toward anything. This is also because, after the night I've had dealing with my census of entirely unvaccinated dying COVID-19 patients, your reply filled me with a level of frustration I haven't felt in a long time, and I am going to need to pace myself here so as to ensure what I say is actually helpful. It is easy to talk about these things theoretically, but when you are in my situation and dealing with the real-life consequences of anti-vaccine rhetoric, it gets harder to stay calm when faced with the not-so-subtle insinuation that you, a physician who spends most of your waking hours treating very ill COVID-19 patients and following all research to stay up to date on its trends, are either lying as part of a conspiracy or are, despite years of both performing biomedical research and learning how to interpret it, are somehow failing to do so adequately now, and thus failing your patients. I am trying to go slowly and play nice, but I can't promise I'll stay that way.

The short answer is that I can't reply to you because you have cited no sources. You refer to the many studies that contradict the CDC's position on vaccines (as if I only cited the CDC in my original post, when they were only one of many different sources I used...), but failed to provide them. I've looked over a lot of literature on this topic and while you will always have a few outlier studies that find something different, the overwhelming trend is consistent and reproducible data supporting vaccine use. The value of vaccines in protecting against severe disease, particularly ICU-worthy illness, intubation, and death, is what matters the most to me right now because frankly that is what is killing people and the health system. I have yet to see any research at all from a reputable source calling into question the use of vaccination in protecting against severe disease. If you have any studies you want me to look over that contradict any of this, please send them my way so I can fully review them. That way I could at least give you a response that means something. I like to believe that 11 years of higher education and employment in both medicine and medical research says at least something for my ability to interpret a research paper.

I really love that I cited a number of studies, but somehow everything gets dismissed by you because I also cited the CDC. Still, I defend my use of the CDC as a source. The CDC data (which I referenced most heavily while talking about adverse events) is pulled from VAERS data. It is the biggest national data set we have and I'd be an idiot not to refer to it when trying to get statistics for widespread trends. Just because the CDC is a big organization doesn't mean every scrap of data it produces is bullshit. I have used their data in the past and will continue to do so, especially when the trends they report are matching up consistently with what we are seeing anecdotally and what we are told to expect based on RCTs. The reason I cited their page directly for some things rather than link straight to the VAERs data or a research paper is because the VAERS raw data is a massive spreadsheet that is time consuming and difficult to parse through, and most casual Tumblr users probably do not know how to read and interpret a scientific article as that does require training. I still cited plenty of RCTs and other studies, but wanted to make sure I had those mixed with some more easily accessible sources.

This is not a fake pandemic. The vaccine is not a conspiracy to make you sick. Debate about vaccine and mask mandates if you want, but recognize the reality of the virus and the utility of vaccination. People are dying because they are failing to get vaccinated. Adverse side effects from the vaccine are very rare and almost always minor. ICUs are filled with the unvaccinated. Vents and CPAPs and BiPAPs are taken up by the unvaccinated, and they are still dying. Non-COVID patients are dying because COVID patients are using up all our resources. You say the CDC has an agenda as if you do not. Perhaps they do, but it is the agenda of the anti-vax crowd that has the highest body count right now, and I'm damn tired of being the one who has to pronounce your all's victims dead.

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winterhawk-olympic-bang · 4 years ago

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How To Edit Your Writing

Guest Poster: Chronicwhimsy

Here is our final Writer Workshop post, written by Chronicwhimsy. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too.

Editing: a drive-by guide

Hi, my name is Claire, and I’m an editor.

(Hi Claire)

I’ve been asked to give a quick guide on tips for editing your stories, as I’ve been a beta/editor for various fanfic writers over the years. I’m a professional editor, working for a publishing house in the UK, and I offer independent freelance editing too, via my website. I’ll be on the Discord server answering questions this evening, but I’m also happy to chat to people either through my website or even if you wanted to drop me a line on tumblr.

The key thing to remember about editing is that the end goal is to make your story the best it can be, and make sure your initial idea comes across as clearly and purely as you first imagined it. It’s about ensuring that the lines of communication between you and your reader are 100% open.

To do that, you need to have finished your story, because you can’t fix something that doesn’t exist.

Then you edit.

What now?

So, you’ve finished your Winterhawk Olympic Bang Fic, and you’re wondering what to do next?

The very first, and most important thing you should do? Celebrate. I mean congratulate the hell out of yourself, pat yourself on the back, and have some cake. Finishing stories is hard. Getting through a first draft is one of the trickiest parts of writing, so you should be proud of yourself, and proud of your story.

Because in a short while, editing is going to make you hate both.

I mean that in the nicest possible way of course, but you absolutely are going to be thoroughly sick of this whole thing by the time you’re done, and you’re going to question everything you’ve ever written. You’re going to get a close-up view of all your narrative bad habits which will make you think you’ve never had any skill at all, and you’re going to re-read your work so many times that it’ll feel trite, old, uninspired. This is normal and it is your brain lying to you. If you remember nothing else, remember that!

“The writing itself is no big deal. The editing, and even more than that, the self-doubt, is excruciatingly impossible.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Don’t lose faith! Editors and editing exist for a reason, no first draft is perfect. You’ve done something amazing in finishing, and now you’re going to make it incredible.

Before You Start - Take a Break

You know the phrase “can’t see the wood for the trees”? It could just as easily be “can’t see the story for the words.” It’s never recommended to go straight into editing as soon as you finish writing, and part of the reason for that is because you’re too deep in the story to be able to assess it objectively, or to catch things that are missed out because you know they’re there, but the reader wouldn’t.

“Once it's done, put it away until you can read it with new eyes. When you're ready, pick it up and read it, as if you've never read it before.” Neil Gaiman

Most writers and editors advocate putting a story away for a month or so before returning to edit, so you’re looking at it with fresh eyes. Obviously, with a Big Bang (or other fic event) this sort of time is usually at a premium! Try and make as much space as you can while still leaving yourself time to edit.

If you really don’t have any time, one trick that can help is changing your location. If you write in your room, can you relocate to your kitchen? Or a café (if you can safely)? Could you print it out? (Printing Top Tip: if you do print it, try and do it double-spaced - this makes it easier on the eyes, and gives you room to make notes. Also, serif fonts can often be easier to read than sans serif fonts, as it gives stronger distinctions between different letters.)

The Filter System

I like to think of the editing process as a series of different filters which, when used one after the other, produce a finely-sieved finished product. Each filter stage has slightly smaller holes than the one before it, as you look increasingly closely at your work.

Filter 1: Structural editing

Does the story make sense? Is the pace okay? Do all the scenes work where they are, or would they be better elsewhere? Do some scenes need to be there at all? Is the characterisation consistent? Does anyone change names halfway through? Did you forget what time of year it was set halfway through?

Filter 2: Line editing

Is this phrase as tight as it could be? Have you repeated yourself anywhere? Does this sentence add anything or does it throw the pace off? Have you gone overboard with adjectives and similes? Have you been too sparse with them?

Filter 3: Copy editing

Is your style consistent? Did you start writing in present tense and switch to past tense? Could this scene transition be snappier? Are there any bits that you want to tidy up? Have you left any half-finished sentences because you got distracted before you could end it?

Filter 4: Proofreading

Is everything spelled correctly? Have you caught all the strange grammar mistakes?

Some of these things might be picked up by your beta reader if you have one. Different beta readers have different styles, and also they will work based on their relationship with you and what you prefer. Some may stick to proofreading and consistency-checking, others may be more confident to dive right in and look at structure, pacing and characterisation. Some may work through the process with you as you write, others may only look at the story when it’s complete so they can get a full overview. There is no right or wrong answer, and having a conversation with your beta about your respective styles at the start can help you work better together!

Filter 1 - Structural Editing

For this stage, you want to read your whole story through from start to finish, and resist the urge to tweak anything to begin with! You will want a way of making notes as you go through because as you do, you’ll make yourself a cheat-sheet to help you with your line edit. Things to keep track of:

Character name spellings

Character ages

Character relationships (drawing a relationship web can be very helpful to visualise this!)

The time span of the story - the date it starts, the date it ends.

As a subset of this, I find it can be very helpful to set up a spreadsheet with a timeline of what happens in the story, and who is involved. Doing this both chronologically for the characters and in order of how it happens in the story can help you keep track of what characters know when, and also when the readers find out certain information. You might have one of these from when you were planning your story (as detailed in Sara Holmes’ workshop). If you’ve kept it up to date with changes to the plot and structure as you’ve written, this will be super helpful.

At this stage, you’re looking to see if everything works as a consistent story. You want to check to see if it feels like it’s the right pace, or if there are bits where it drags or rushes through the action. Why is this? Are there scenes which aren’t adding anything to the progress? Could they just be referred to in passing, or removed entirely without impacting the story? Are there other scenes which need to be added to provide more detail and growth? Is there anything that you as a writer know that is essential to the story, but you forgot to actually put in the text?

“Crafty writers...don't allow Exposition to form Lumps. They break up the information, grind it fine, and make it into bricks to build the story with.” Ursula K. Le Guin

You’re also looking to see if the characters feel true to themselves all the way through. Do the relationships spark? Do they sound like themselves? Can you hear them in your head?

Some people recommend doing several structural edits, with a different focus each time. One pass to look at the pacing, one pass to look at the characters, one to look at the story arc. You’ll work out what floats your boat, but you will be re-reading this story a lot of times before you’re done editing - which is why it’s very important to write what you love and want to read! You’ll go through many stages of hating this story before you let it go, and that will be even harder if it wasn’t something you enjoyed in the first place.

Filter 2 - Line Editing

So you remember I told you to make all those notes during your structural edit? Here’s where you’re going to use them. Now’s the time to go through your story line by line and check that the details in your cheat sheet are correct all the way through the story. I’ve written a novel that I initially set in November, but by the time I finished it, I’d decided it was taking place in early May. I had to go back and fix all the dates and weather descriptions to make sure the action hadn’t actually been yeeted forward six months spontaneously in the middle of a conversation.

Arguably, the line edit will be the most painful part of editing. At this stage, you will be taking a fine-tooth comb to everything you have written, examining it to within an inch of its life, and casting judgement. You’re going to find every stylistic tic you have (for me, everyone is constantly quirking their eyebrows and smirking like they’ve got cramp in their facial muscles), and you’re going to get rid of them (a person only has so many eyebrows, and they can only quirk so far). Now is the time to kill your darlings - don’t hang on to anything unless you feel it’s really doing a job to further the story and the characters.

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart, kill your darlings.” Stephen King

If you have ever worried about the unbearable sensation of being Known, the line edit is where you will experience that with every word, and you’ll be doing it to yourself. This is when the doubts will really start to creep in and you will maybe feel like everything you write is unoriginal, derivative trash and unfit for human eyes.

Here I’ll reiterate what I said above:

This is a normal feeling, everyone experiences it when editing. E V E R Y O N E.

It’s a lie. No-one else will ever read your story in this state, no-one else will ever read your story this closely. Of course it feels obvious and uninspired to you - you wrote it. It’s your idea, and you’ve read it several times, it holds no surprises for you. (I may be projecting my feelings from every time I’ve edited something here, but…)

You’ll also be catching any ELEPHANTS or whatever your mammal of choice for placeholder text is that you’ve stationed throughout the story as a flag for you to come back and add in a name, or a food, or a song title later. You know, the things you decided were a problem for Future!You. I have bad news, the future is now.

Top Tip: if you have changed someone’s name halfway through, DON’T for the love of Mike, just do a straight find and replace to correct it. Because that’s when you suddenly find out how many other words actually contain names (Mark became Bill? That’s great, until your characters are going to the superBillet to buy groceries). Some word processing programmes have a “whole word” option which is your friend, otherwise ensure to put spaces either side of the word when you search. If you don’t, you’ve just made another horrible job for yourself...

Filter 3 - Copy Editing

Once you’ve made it out the other side of the Line Edit (and given yourself a nice treat to congratulate yourself because that stage is HARD), we get onto copy editing. This is basically the set-dressing stage. You’ve built the house, you’ve decorated the room, and now you’re just making sure every bit of furniture is in the right place for optimal feng shui.

Here’s where you go through and go, do I really need a dash here, or could I just use a comma? Could I use fewer commas? Could I go in and move all of @kangofu_cb’s commas around because I’m the sort of person who will come into your house and change how you hang your toilet paper or where you keep your ketchup.

Now is the time to be as picky as possible, like you’re an interior designer for the most demanding client in the world and the ornament must be exactly equidistant from both ends of the mantlepiece and facing precisely south-west. Things that may have just survived your line edit will be measured again, and if they’re found wanting, then they get binned.

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” Mark Twain

Another thing you might like to do here is check that all your features and things are correct. Did you make a wild claim about the lifecycle of salamanders, or the average price of corn and then never go back to verify this? Take a second to just do that now. It may be that you decide it’s not a problem (I received one copy edit note saying that an idiom used in a book wasn’t recorded until 200 years later, and I made the editorial decision that no-one would care), but for bigger things you may want to make sure you’re accurate.

If you google it (as I just did, to make sure I was definitely giving you the right information), copy editing is often conflated with line editing, and that’s because in reality a lot of the elements of copy editing actually wouldn’t usually be done by the author, and are probably irrelevant to fanfic. The copy editor is responsible for ensuring the book has a consistent grammatical style in line with the preferences of the publisher (em-dash or en-dash, curly quote marks or straight ones, how you deal with acronyms, what needs to be italicised, etc. etc.), which isn’t necessarily required for fanfic. In reality, for fanfic I’d use this stage as a second, lighter line-edit to see where things can be tightened up in phrasing, as well as perhaps a preliminary proofread where you start to mark up any spelling errors.

Filter 4 - Proofreading

By this stage, you’ll be exhausted, and sick to death of the blasted thing. But the end is in sight! Now you’re onto the proofread. This is another close read, where you go through and check for spelling errors, typos, missing full stops, strange formatting stuff (which probably will be less of an issue as AO3 basically makes everything uniform anyway).

Before you even start this, change your font.

We’ve all been there, thought we’d caught every spelling error, every weird typo, only to spot six immediately after posting. That’s because after a certain point our brain becomes used to the font we’ve written in, and will automatically correct things that aren’t right. AO3 has its own unique formatting - colour, spacing, font - and the minute your fic appears on there in this new format you brain wakes up and is like “oh shit, yeah, that’s not how it should be.”

By changing the font before you proofread, you preempt this step.

Another thing to remember: it’s unlikely you will ever catch every mistake. Published books regularly go out with a smattering of typographical errors throughout the text - how many first editions of books are valuable because of misspellings that slipped through the net? You’re only human.

“Connie's other job was proof-editing which she did very badly. Transferring the author's corrections to a clean sheet of proofs was something Connie was unable to do without missing an average of three corrections a page, or transcribing newly inserted material all wrong... she put angry authors' letters about the mutilation of their books under the cushion of her chair to deal with later.” Muriel Spark, A Far Cry from Kensington

Often, spelling errors and things you would look for in a proofread are things that a beta reader will pick up as they go, as they’re the easiest things to spot, but it’s also worth looking over yourself for anything your beta might have missed.

Whether you decide to follow any or all of these steps, always do the proofread last.There is no point carefully spellchecking a chapter you are then going to delete, or proofreading the whole thing, but adding loads of new paragraphs later that either don’t get looked at or mean you end up having to proofread twice. That’s the only hard and fast rule when it comes to editing, and it will save you a lot of unnecessary work!

FREEDOM

And then, finally, unbelievably - you’re done. Your literary child is ready to leave the nest. Resist the urge to keep re-reading and tweaking. Instead, click “publish” and give yourself a nice little treat. You’ve earned it.

Miscellany and Disclaimers

These editing stages are ones that would be applied to a published novel. An author would probably do this several times - once on their own to get it ready for submission, then perhaps again with their agent, but the really heavy work would be done with their editor. The structural edit would be done under the advice of an agent or editor where the author looks at their comments, rejigs things accordingly, and lather, rinse, repeat until everyone’s happy. The editor would undertake the line edit, and the author would decide what they wanted to keep or change. The copy edit and proofread would be done in-house or sent to freelancers, with queries and changes wafted past the author for clarification or approval.

Self-published authors will often hire freelancers to help at various stages to get feedback and advice.

Very rarely would an author go from draft to final published piece by doing all their editing alone. Because it’s hard fucking work, and because your brain will get exhausted.

In light of that, you need to remember:

You’ve written a fanfic

The editorial standards of fanfic are significantly less stringent than published books

Editing by yourself is really hard work that many people are often paid to do for published books

No-one is paying you for your fanfic

Fanfic is supposed to be fun

Some published authors will edit and rewrite and edit and rewrite again and again. At a panel I attended, Joanne Harris said that if she didn’t rewrite her work at least five times she was being too easy on herself, while Joe Hill said he usually aimed for three rewrites - Joe edited as he went along, going over the previous day’s pages before continuing, where Joanne completed her manuscripts before editing. Elizabeth May has talked about her stages of drafting, starting with her Trash Draft, then her Clean Draft, and then rewriting and editing after that.

These are people who are writing professionally, getting paid for their work, and so the time they put in has monetary results. If you want to write original fiction, their advice is extremely valuable.

For fanfiction, it’s a large time investment for something you’re doing as a hobby for free. If I’m strictly honest, I’m fairly lax with my fanfiction editing. I do structural discussions and tweaks with my beta reader as I write, and then a spell check. I’m also aware that my fanfics aren’t narratively complex, nor do they seem as polished, rich and deep as some of the other works out there. That’s fine by me. You simply need to find the level you’re happy at, where you can still feel proud of your work but you’re enjoying the experience.

In the end - it’s all for fun!

Resources:

Online

Curtis Brown Creative: An Editor’s Guide to Editing Your Novel

Joanne Harris: Ten Tweets About Editing

Joanne Harris: Writing Resources

NerdsLikeMe: Beta Reading vs Proofreading vs Editing

Books

Stephen King - On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Ursula K. Le Guin - Steering the Craft: Exercises and Discussions on Story Writing for the Lone Navigator or the Mutinous Crew

#winterhawk #winterhawk olympic bang #whob #writer workshops #writer workshop: editing #guest post #chronicwhimsy

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hangingslothcentral · 4 years ago

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Here’s what writing an episode of Spirit Box Radio looks like...

If you’ve ever wondered how episodes of Spirit Box Radio are written, here’s a little overview of that process!! If you like this, I can also write up a similar breakdown of the sound design process!

Most, but not all, episodes are born in the ‘Episodes’ section of the Show Bible. The Show Bible is a document of epic proportions - 50k in length and growing every day - which contains all the essential information about the show, from the continuously evolving methods I use to edit different character voices as I learn more and more about audio editing and production, right to ‘sketches’ of the episodes for all three series of the show. There is also a large section called ‘Ideas and Notes’, where I’ll write freeform dialogue between characters and keep track of themes and ideas to try and keep them consistent. These are all numbered, and referenced in a seperate spreadsheet I have of all the characters with significant and/or speaking roles in the show.

The full break down is under the cut!!!

The grandaddy of the the plans in the Show Outline, where I go over all of the main ideas I want to be talking about in the show and roughly mark out the outline of the shape of each season. The first draft of the Show Outline was very messy and rough, but subsequent versions are broken down into Season-by-Season chunks, all talking from a multi-series perspective so as to place the ideas of the show along a three-series-long arc.

Season Outline

Season Outlines take those ideas for the shapes of the series from the Show Outline and refine them further from a beginning-to-end-perspective. I'm a goal-oriented writer, which means my story ideas tend to come from a very ‘the end’ kind of place, and the stories that lead up to that ending are all about serving that ending. Quite often the ending itself changes a long over the planning and writing process for me, but that’s the great thing about a plan! Once you have it, you can change it if you need to. What a plan does, however, is provide you with a framework for understanding what bits of a story you have, and what bits you still need to make.

The three seasons of Spirit Box Radio are quite deliberately split into two halves. There are lots of reasons why and one of them is that it gives you a very specific kind of shape to be working from. A season with a mid-season break has a part one which has it’s own escalation of tension and climax, which comes at the mid-point of the season-long escalation, where the story might otherwise sag a little.

Beyond splitting the plan into Parts 1 & 2, I typically also break episodes into ‘Blocks’. This is partly practical; I can refer in conversations with my guest writers to where it falls in a specific block of episodes, and where that block fits in the story as a whole, and it also makes splitting up the episodes for sending out scripts to my actors a lot more straight forward. Part 1 of Season 1, for example, was broken into three blocks; episodes 1.1-1.7; 1.8-1.13; 1.14-1.20. I won’t go into detail about how this effects the structure of the episodes themselves, but it’s usually about building characters up to making a certain decision, or following a certain subplot more closely before pulling away.

Episode Sketch

A ‘sketch’ is a very brief summary of what needs to happen in that specific episode. This can be concrete, like ‘find [x] item’, or vague, like ‘establish that Character A has Trait Y’. Sometimes I’ll make a note to include a specific sound or character beat, or I’ll reference a noted scene from the ‘Ideas and Notes’ i think would fit in there. It’s usually at the sketch summary stage that I figure out whether or not there will be other characters in a specific episode. The sketches for almost all of the episodes in Season One were written between August and October 2020.

Episode Plan

This stage takes those necessary elements from the sketch and fleshes them out into a coherent story. The key thing about podcast episodes is that they have to be able to be entertaining on their own, minute by minute, as well as serving the whole series (I talked a lot more about this in the last episode of Hanging with the Sloths on Patreon which is only £2/equivalent pcm to access if you’re interested!!)

Whilst I’m making my episode plan, I’ll look back at the sketches for the episode I’m working on and those before and after it, and refer to the series outline where I can, to make sure I’m keeping a handle not just on the individual pacing of the episode, but the pacing of the show overall.

I like to have Episode Plans done by about a month before I need to have a script finished.

The Script Itself

Spirit Box Radio scripts are either agonising or happen in the blink of an eye. I do not have a set approach to how I write an episode. Sometimes the plans come with sections of dialogue written months before and I’ll drape the rest of the episode around those moments and see where I end up. If there is a character other than Sam in an episode, I’ll typically attempt to write that section of the script before the rest, so that I’ll definitely have it locked by the time I need to send it to the actors.

Any script that is for other actors (i.e. not me) has to have notes, direction, and additional information included to help the actors give their best performance. That’s difficult sometimes because I guard my show secrets closely, so it’s often a game of working out how much I can tell an actor without including spoilers for later important plot points unless absolutely necessary, and how to supplement gaps in their information. I’ll usually compare a character to a character from something else as a shorthand for performance.

This means there are two versions of every script which needs to be seen by people who aren’t me. My scripts, which I call the master scripts, have all my audio cues, breaks for drinking water in recording sessions, character notes that are Top Secret, sound scaping ideas, specific sounds I’ll need to use at different moments, and specific audio cues. As I get better at sound design, my version of the script only gets messier and messier to look at. Sometimes, when I’m writing scripts, I’ll actually even start with sound design notes now!!

Script Locking

This is the point at which a script can no longer be changed. Scripts with other characters in them have to be locked before scripts for just Sam, because they need to go out to actors and I need to ensure that I have time to go back and ask them to redo things if necessary, and also to make sure they have proper time to rehearse and organise read-throughs as they’d like to. That means sometimes sections of an episode are locked way before other sections are even written. This can be challenging as a writer because sometimes I’ll come back to a section which I know still needs work, and find I’m extremely limited in what I can do because I’ve already sent an actor a script to record from - sometimes for later episodes, I’ll have the lines from otheres already recorded and ready to go before I finalise some of Sam’s lines for a specific episode.

Sam is recorded a minimum of three weeks before an episode is due to air, and I’ll record in 3-episode stints, usually. I like to have the scripts locked a week before I record so I have time to read them through at my own pace, but sometimes I won’t manage to have them locked until three days out. On one hateful occasion, I threw out an entire script after I’d recorded an episode and re-recorded the whole thing the day before airing. I do not recommend doing this and whilst I am much happier with the result it was an agonising experience because once I’d rewritten and re-recorded that episode I then had to edit it before it was due for release, a process which takes about six hours minimum. I was making tweaks until 20 minutes before the episode went live. Do not recommend.

Editing

Speaking of editing, the final stage of writing an episode actually happens in the cutting room. Sometimes episodes are simply Too Long. Sometimes stuff that worked on paper just don’t work in audio. Sometimes I can’t say a word correctly for the life of me and have to cut a whole sentence to cover it over. More rarely, but still often enough an occurence it bears mentioning, I’ll realise in the editing process that a conversation is better in a different order than the one given in the script, and pull and move around the dialogue to adjust the flow. Sometimes I’ll move sections about a bit to accomodate similar problems with narrative flow.

Annnnd that’s it! That’s what the process looks like!

#spirit box radio #spirit box radio podcast #writing #audio drama #behind the scenes #writing process #show runner

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themissingmarvel · 5 years ago

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Kind Regards, Detective [Part 6]

(So, forgive me for this both: being long, and not having a lot of Loki in it. I understand if this chapter turns people off or doesn’t get a lot of love. I won’t be hurt by it. But it needed to be done. So hopefully I don’t lose readers but if I do, like I said, I understand.

Catch up: [Part 1] // [Part 2] // [Drabble] // [Part 3] // [Part 4] // [Drabble 2] // [Part 5]

Pairing: Detective Loki x fbi!Reader

Word Count: 3.7k [yikes]

Warnings: Language. Poor life choices. )

Back when Y/N was in undergrad, she remembered one of her classmates affectionately telling her she was afflicted with what was known as “resting bitch face”. She became known as the Queen of the RBF within her circles, and honestly it remained with her. But it was protective, and in times like this, when a precinct was staring at you, you had to protect yourself.

One of the things that would come up was a conflict of interest, she knew that immediately. Her supervising agent would be concerned about a package sent directly to her. No one would know the depth of it, though. They’d know it was in reference to her sister’s passing, but the song? The CD itself? She could lie. And she would. Even when her phone rang and she ignored it, she kept her face stoic and her eyes locked on the computer, scanning over the evidence collected from the scene still.

“Agent Y/N, there’s a call for you from the bureau-” a young officer, though not a rookie, popped his head in.

She didn’t even look up, “That’s cool.”

Loki glanced from her to the officer who looked more confused than anything. Clearly that was not the answer he was hoping for.

“I mean, they want to talk to you.” He suddenly got quieter. Meeker.

Again, she didn’t even pause, “Nice of them. I’ll send them a thank-you card later.”

Now the officer was confused, “Did you want to answer it out front or I can-”

“Tell them I’m dead. Or I’m in the bathroom. Whatever. I’m busy so please don’t come in again.” Her eyes glanced briefly from the screen to the man who got the hint, his mouth in a straight line as he backed out of the room, entirely missing David Loki’s very soft smirk.

But she was. Busy, that was. Not dead. She had found a few interesting leads, and was suddenly finding a rather disturbing pattern, “David, c’mere a sec. I need you to look at this and tell me I’m not crazy,” she looked across the table at the man who’d been poring over the papers and pictures, hating to look at bodies but knowing now was not the time to be squeemish. He thought his note was bad… hers was tenfold. Whatever it was. He didn’t know about her sister. Or any of her life, really. He knew what she had shared. He was vaguely terrified that this would stop all of it.

Standing, he walked over to where she was, a spreadsheet open, “So look,” she held up a finger, glancing back to the man who was leaning over, face by hers as he looked at the screen, the moment intense, though far from intimate, “if we follow the purchases, the television is old but beyond state-of-the-art, telling us it was pricy. And you don’t leave pricy things behind, especially if you think you can be traced. And when we tracked the generator down, it was from a different manufacturing company, so both were dismissed out of hand. But when we add in the piece about the phone company provider and the chemical weapon used… Look.”

She brought up a page of a very formal looking website, Safety in the palm of your hand was the caption under the large “West Company” logo in block letters at the top. David knew of them, but clearly Y/N knew more, “The company does a lot of work with technology and weapon engineering. The federal government has a contract with them, so we’ve worked with them before. David, they even have a lab on site…”

He stood back, looking down at her with focus and concern. Without the chemical agent to go off of, the connection might be a reach. But the fact that it all tied to one company, and one that would have direct links to technology to reach into… anything, meant it was a good chance that the person they needed would be there.

“So what do we do with this? I mean, that’s a huge company. And with a defense contract, they’re probably not gonna wanna talk to you,” David crossed his arms in front of his chest, concern on his features. She was a bloodhound who had finally picked up a scent and he had a sinking feeling she’d chase that scent, regardless of what came in her way.

Nodding, she closed the laptop, “Normally that’d be true, but I may have a way into the company records. I can’t divulge why. I just need you to trust me.” Her eyes were wide. And pleading. She had just been hit with a wrecking ball and already she was back on her feet, but David knew she was hurting. And pain made you do stupid things. But she was slowly becoming his weak spot.

Pushing back his hair he sighed, “Fine. What do we do next?”

Standing up and grabbing her phone that had more missed calls than she could reasonably get away with, she shrugged, “We don’t do anything. I make a call, and you keep going over evidence. I have to go back and grab something at the hotel. I left a file back there we’ll need to keep moving forward on this.”

There was something in her voice, her tone perhaps, or her body language. David would blame himself later, as he always did, for not noticing. He’d tell himself it was his fault. He should have known she wasn’t going to the hotel, or at least that wasn’t her final stop. And as she walked outside without her federal issued phone, only her keys and wallet in hand as she held her jacket tight, she understood what had to happen.

_____

She wasn’t lying. Not completely. She had gone to the hotel and grabbed her personal phone, the one she used for calling her parents, listening to music, listening to audiobooks when she was stuck on airplanes, or in this case, long car drives alone. But her first call had been, surprising to most, to Henry Best. The man was one of the top CEO and board members of West Company and one she knew better than most. It was the way she had into the company.

Henry had been surprised to hear her voice, though not disappointed. He had liked Y/N when he met her four years back, when she had just begun her profiling in the field. Back when she was still wet behind the ears, so to speak. And that she was calling on her personal phone made him even more curious, “Of course. Around when should I expect you?” His voice, smooth as silk with a ‘proper’ British accent, a voice that could melt a woman without effort, came forth.

Glancing at the dashboard of her car, Y/N shrugged, “GPS says it’s another hour. So around 3pm, if that’s all right? Honestly, I hate to barge in like this. And I know you’re doing more than a favor. Especially since the FBI doesn’t even know-”

There was a soft chuckle, the man on the other end smiling, “Please don’t apologize. It would be my pleasure to see you again. After all, it is you I have to thank for where I am now, is it not?” A genuine kind of thanks to his voice, though something else lingered. Perhaps not strong enough for the bluetooth in the car to detect.

Either way, she felt herself smiling as she eyed the guidance system, “That was all your own work, Henry. But we can talk more when I get there. Do I check in at the front desk?” She was adjusting herself in her seat, suddenly a little nervous. She really hadn’t thought this through. And she was still wearing… well, a sweater and jeans. And her hair wasn’t well done, either. Fuck, she really did not think this through.

“I’ll have someone waiting out front to valet the car, don’t worry about parking. Mark will bring you up. Take your time.” He was calm. Cool. Collected. More than he had been before. It was kind of nice.

She nodded, to no one in particular, “Will do. See you in an hour, Henry.” She clicked off the phone, continuing her drive.

Her phone rang again, though this time the number came up as Delete This Later, “Madison is on a rampage. And now I have some podunk Detective Loki- Hey, what kind of name is that even? Whatever, anyway, this dude is calling me wanting to know where you are. I made some shit up about you needing to coordinate with another office. I still have Madison on a rampage, though. He’s your boss. Remember him?”

Rolling her eyes, she was already regretting giving Adrian her personal number, “Thank you for covering. I’m actually headed to see Henry Best. Over at West Company. Who knew my name was so memorable?” She smirked.

Adrian huffed, “Just don’t do anything stupid. Well, more stupid than you already have. Wits about, right?”

She cocked a sideways smirk, “Always. And you know the deal. Call David at 3pm, when I’m due in New York to meet with Henry. I’ll text you the address. And you can give him this number. Otherwise the guy will have a heart attack,” she sighed softly.

There was quiet for a moment before Adrian spoke again, “What did he send you, Ladybug? That guy. I haven’t seen you like this since the Boston case when you almost bumped into the dude we were after. I’m worried.”

But she was quiet. Too quiet.

“Nothing’s gonna happen. I just have a feeling Henry will be able to help.”

___

He had called her. He had called her twice before realizing the ringing was coming from inside her bag. He had thrown his own phone across the room, though one cased in an Otterbox after the officer manager was tired of him breaking phones. Instead, it bounced off and hit the ground. He had wanted to break something. Fucking anything.

It was a flurry of words after that, David having rolled his sleeves up, his hair repeatedly needing to be slicked back as his face looked vaguely similar to John Wick finding his dog dead. He kept telling himself he was angry because she was in harm’s way, and that was true, but there was something more. This woman he had felt vulnerable with, who had in turn shared her own vulnerabilities, was gone. And he knew that she was gone because she was chasing something that not even God himself could stop her from getting. She was on a mission.

David was a driven man just as much, however, and he had gotten through to Y/N’s unit by sheer force of will on the phone. He had kept it together enough that he was actually able to get through to someone named “Adrian Dent” who worked closely with her. The one who had texted her ‘ladybug’ and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like Adrian. No idea why, but when the smug asshole gave him a regurgitated message about her meeting with another agent in another city, he understood it was a lie.

But what else did he have? He was sitting by himself in the conference room they were using, staring at a laptop that had the company name on it. And he knew. He didn’t know exactly, but he knew. And fuck waiting. Fuck telling his chief. Fuck all of it. He was headed to New York City just the same as she was. ____

It had been strange, walking into the large, sleek office building. The floors were marble and the colors back and silver were clearly the aesthetic. She had trailed behind a young man who looked to be no older than twenty-two, probably scored this gig right out of a prestigious college, wanting to work his way into the defense industry. What a strange goal. No stranger, perhaps, than wanting to be an FBI Field Agent.

He was quiet as he lead her up, his earpiece wired in as they took a private elevator to the… damn, fiftieth floor? Last time she could have sworn it was forty. But that was four years ago.

Stepping off the elevator that looked like something out of Blade Runner, she followed the assistant carefully down the hall, carpeted in black with dark wood lining it. Far fewer people here. And it was clear, by the large double doors ahead, that this was where she was going, “Mr. Best is inside, you may enter.” He looked almost smug. She didn’t belong. He knew it. She knew it.

Shrugging off her winter jacket, she knocked on the door, heading the rather gentle, “Please, come in,” beckoning her forth.

It had been four years since she saw him, but Henry looked amazing. He had before but… there was something else now. His dark blonde hair was styled on his head, not slicked down but a certain casual and professional look to it. He had on a white business shirt, black tie tight around his neck though with his sleeves rolled up. And he, of course, was gorgeous. Blue eyes that felt like they could stop you in your tracks, angular features that made him all the more distinguished. He looked good.

And the office was amazing. An entire wall was purely windows, looking out at the impressive New York City skyline. It was like being in a movie. Her entire life she had never existed in a world like this, and now she was investigating a serial killer in an office that looked so extraordinary it hurt. Book shelves, a large desk by the back where he had been standing, oak, of course. He smiled, a sort of crooked smile that, were she paying attention, would have concerned her more. But he was smiling as he walked over, “Oh, please, let me take that. Shouldn’t have you lugging this around,” he smiled as he got close, taking the jacket from her hands, draping it over a chair nearby.

Nervous, suddenly, she pushed back her hair, “Thank you… and sorry about not being dressed for the occasion… Like I said, kind of a rush deal getting here,” she laughed nervously, fidgeting.

“Nonsense. You look wonderful, if I may say so. Would you care to take a seat? I wager you’ve just driven a bit of a ways, so I’ll understand if you’d like to stand.” There was care in his voice and tone, and suddenly she was struck by how strange it was. She tended to trust her gut, and suddenly it was telling her to be aware.

Smiling with her placating, plastic smile, she shook her head, “I’m happy to sit.”

He looked satisfied with the answer, gesturing to the table in the corner, two cups and a teapot on it, “Please, take a seat. May I offer you some tea?” He sat across from her, his movements graceful and purposeful, and perhaps almost serpent-like.

She held up a hand, “No thank you. Long drive back, don’t want to have to make pit stops,” she smiled at the man who looked… content. Relaxed. Hardly what she remembered before.

He was pouring himself a cup, Y/N looking around as she noticed a plant on his desk. Well, one. And flowers on his window. Gorgeous lilies. And orchids. Succulents were on two shelves of the book cases. She couldn’t help but smile, “Quite a lot of greenery around your office, Henry.”

Taking a sip of the tea, he smiled, “After we spoke those years ago, I took you up on your suggestion. I began gardening. Took a month off, worked on myself, and began gardening. Hobbies really are a lifesaver, aren’t they?” He was watching her now, able to see that brief moment of her eyes widening, ever so slightly, her breath catching in her throat. He could see her wheels turning. But she was no mere rabbit. Fear was not something that drove her.

And true, in her own mind she was rationalizing it, “I’m glad it seemed to work for you. Having a hobby like that can be therapeutic. And it seems like our meetings got you back on track. How have things been now?”

Of course, she was referring to the incident that had lead her to his office years ago. He had lost his wife in a rather tragic car accident. From what he had told the police, they had gotten into a fight, and before he could stop her, she had gotten her keys and driven off. She’d wound up running a red light at a major intersection and was killed on impact.

Something was clicking, now. His face changed every so slightly when she asked how things had been. Hobbies. Not just gardening. And now she was poking at the wound.

He nodded, quite like the gentleman he was, “Much better. Work has been consuming much of my time. I imagine you’re in a similar boat. I always sensed we were quite alike in that way,” he placed the tea back down and smiled at her.

There was a feeling of anger that came with the comment, though she was unsure why. It wasn't rude in any way, nor did it infer anything negative about her. But it felt personal.

“Speaking of work… I’m here because I think I have a lead on my case. And not to be an alarmist, I’m somewhat concerned they’re linked with your company somehow,” she eyed him carefully.

He looked out the window with a bit of a chuckle, “We have quite a few employees, you know. Do you have anything more to go off of? I’d love to help you, but that’s quite a broad brush to be painting with, Y/N,” his smile was daring this time. He was playing with her. What may not have been personal now was. But he was fishing, too. He wanted to see what she had. If she’d divulge.

She was many things in this world. Stupid was not on that list.

“If you could set me up with someone in human resources, I might be able to go over a filter given some of the profiles I have set up. Think you could make an exception for me?” She forced a smile, hoping, perhaps, she was wrong about that feeling in her gut. The feeling that was screaming at her, louder now, telling her to get out of the building. To find her car. But he had that, didn’t he? He had insisted he park it for her. Insisted he take her up through the private elevator. And she had complied.

Maybe she was wrong.

“Were I a different man, I might argue against it. But you’ve done quite a bit for me, Y/N, more than you know. You helped me realize my potential in those meetings. The kind of man I could be. And so of course, Agent Y/L/N, I would be more than honored to help. After what you’ve done for me. Truly, it stayed with me.” He smiled. And he was being honest. Sincere. She had made an impact in his life that had changed the entire course of his world. He had gone from a man on the brink of losing his life to drugs and alcohol over the loss of his true love, to a man who had channeled his grief into something else. He understood what it meant to lose.

A feeling of relief washed over her and she smiled, more sincere this time, “That’s really kind of you. And if it means anything, I always knew you’d come back from it. It’s why I recommended the board keep you on. We all have choices in life, I’m glad you made yours.”

A small ‘chirp’ came from the digital watch on the man’s wrist, looking down as he grimaced slightly, “Seems I’ve had an unfortunate emergency arise. I’ve got your number, so I’ll be sure to give you a call when I can locate someone in HR who can work remotely. Wouldn’t want you taking the trek back and forth from Conyers again, would we? You said over the phone the Detective you’re working with is stationed there as well,” He smiled as he stood, the agent doing the same.

He handed her the jacket she’d come in with, walking her to the door. And for a moment, she knew she could walk out and it would be the end of it. Her gut would stop screaming at her, now from the top of its lungs, and maybe she could get out unscathed. She could simply walk to the elevator and find a way to do things on her terms. She knew, deep down, that she could walk out the door confident in her own beliefs and he would be confident that she had only the brief terror that prey does when suspecting a predator nearby.

Instead, she turned as she walked out the door, her eyes locking onto his, “I meant to ask, you have so many different plants and flowers, do you have any favorites? I’m a lavender woman, myself,” she smiled strongly, forcing herself to speak now as she felt the rest of herself coming undone.

And he smiled. The smile that would seal in every fear she had, every terror that she would feel, every nightmare that would haunt her, and she knew that look in his eyes with that smile as he spoke, “Oh, my dear, it’s roses I love best. Give my kindest regards to Detective Loki, won’t you?”

It took every ounce of strength she had to stay standing as he closed the door with the look of a man she had seen once. The man who had fallen apart but was wearing the mask of something else. She understood his comment, now. Two sides of the same coin. Two people shaped by tragedy. Two lives changed in a moment. And a grin on his face that felt like a bullet to her chest.

Kind Regards indeed.

Fuck.

(Tagging: @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @is-it-madness @detecellie @doritosandavocados @oscarflysaac @peccobagnaia @fgtakbrjbdl @miss-missing-patd send me a message to be added/removed)

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concerningwolves · 5 years ago

Note

Firstly, I'd like to say your stories sound amazing and I wish you all the best with them! Secondly, you might've answered this (or it might be difficult to answer) but how do you go about just starting a second draft? I've got a few first drafts scattered around and I'd like to edit them but... there's just so much and I have no idea where to start and then I just end up not doing it because it just seems like an insurmountable task. Help, please?

this went into my drafts with the idea that i would work on it next weekend, but,,, it has since been several months’ worth of weekends, and i’m only just getting to it 😅

Starting Second Drafts

For me, the second draft is less about editing what I’ve written, and more about refining what happens. You’ll probably find your own way of working as you redraft more of your stories, but here’s six key points that have really helped me:

1) PRINT IT OUT & CHANGE IT UP

(I’m assuming here you’ve typed your first draft; if you wrote it longhand, ignorethese next two paragraphs)

Most of writing is just playing mind games with yourself, and there’s nobetter way to do this than change the font and/or text colour from one draft to the next. It gives your writing a new look and tricks your brain into paying attention again, which helps when you’re reading through the first draft and deciding what’s going to happen to it.

Printing it out is a large part of this – having your story in a different format lets you look at it from a different angle, both literally and figuratively. It alsomeans you can make notes and cross out chunks directly on paper, which is avery satisfying process (and as writers, we need to take our satisfaction wherewe can!).

2) SCRIBBLE ALL OVER IT

I think that the reason the second draft seems so daunting it because there’s this pressure to Make It All Perfect, and attacking your first draft with coloured pens and post-it notes alleviates that somewhat. It doesn’t have to be neat; it just hasto make sense to you.

Don’t try to filter your ideas, either – if you think of something that could change, or that you want to add, write it down, even if it conflicts with what you’vealready got. Keeping all your options open will help when you get to later draftsand revisions, and want to look back see how else scenes or plots could playout.

3) FOCUS ON THE BIGGER PICTURE

Following on from the last point, it’s also important to remember that the second draft isn’t about making your prose nice and clean, or about finalising those littledetails like what houseplants your characters keep or what the café they eat atis called. The second draft is still very much Bigger Picture territory, i.e.,getting plot events in the right order or weaving through character growth and subplots.

Here’s a picture of what When Dealing with Wolves’ first draft looked like when Iwas working on it:

[ID: a printed-out manuscript, headed with the titles “Second Draft” and “Chapter One”. I’ve messily written all over the text in red pen, circling large chunks and indicating changes with arrows. /End ID]

And here’s one of draft two/three, for comparison in the editing style:

[ID: a second printed out page, this time with more detailed notes correcting grammar and rewriting sentences. Lots of words and lines are crossed out in thick black pen. /End ID]

In the former, the focus is on moving around scenes or details so that they made more sense; in the latter, I was paying more attention to sentence form and prose, as well as restructuring.

4) REFINE YOUR NOTES

Once you’ve got this lovely scrawled-on mess, you’ll probably want to make some decisions re: what’s going to happen in draft two. Take your scribbled notes from the first draft and decide what you think will work best, thinking about:

Plot events

Character growth

Worldbuilding changes

Subplots

(How detailed these notes are depends on your writing planning style. Whether you do a few bullet points as a vague outline or plan each plot point meticulously is entirely up to you).

5) START FROM SCRATCH

Okay, not quite from scratch. You’ve got all those notes, and you still have your first draft to refer to as well. What “start from scratch” means in this context is “don’t just work directly onto the first draft document”.

What you want with your second draft is freedom to let the story grow, and you can’t get that if you edit straight into the confines of your first draft. Re-typingscenes instead of copy and pasting also makes you think about them,getting your brain to approach any problems in new ways.

And, last but not least—

6) GIVE YOURSELF SPACE TO EXPLORE

I’ve seen this said about first drafts countless times, but it goes for second drafts, too! If you want to write several different versions of scene, do it. Want tochange a character’s name for the sixth time? Go for it. I don’t consider theplot, or even the details, of a WIP fixed until I’m into the final revisions ofthe last draft.

The only thing to remember is always, always keep track of your changes, be that via an Excel spreadsheet, notes in a separate word document, or novel journal entries. That way, if you decide later that an old idea actually works better, you can go back and retrieve it with minimal fuss.

I hope this helps, and sorry for the late reply!

[Ko-Fi | FAQ | Patreon]

#Anonymous #second drafts #writing advice #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers helping writers #drafts and revisions

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lovehugsandcandy · 5 years ago

Text

Mermaid Magic (ColtxMC, RoD)

A/N: Apparently, if you want something done, you better do it yourself (note: not done well. just done). Based off the amazing idea where MC is a mermaid and Colt is an idiot from @escanorelyon, here. Thank you for letting me write this and for coming up with such a delicious concept. Anyone, if you want to put your own spin on the idea, I would love to see what you come up with! Tag me!

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: ~3,000 words

Rating/Warnings: PG-13 (Swearing?)

Summary: Is the surprise that there’s a mermaid? Or is the surprise that it takes him so long to figure it all out?

The plunge is weightless, terrifyingly familiar, and his swift reentry to earth, via splash into the Pacific so deep his ears roar with the pressure, never fails to take his breath away. As Colt kicks back to the surface, salt water around him churning with every stroke, he can almost pretend it has taken his stress away, a complete distraction from the rationale behind his trip to LA.

He emerges and shakes the sea from his hair, swiping at the water dripping from his nose and tonguing at his tingling lips. It’s peaceful here, tranquil, miles away from the confrontation he knows awaits. The cliff had always been the opposite of his home life, peace instead of strife, calm instead of stress, and the trips had always been a respite from the turmoil of his youth. After being forced to make the leap time and time again, he came to see this place as a haven of solitude, where he could be alone and process whatever shithole situation he was currently in.

A sudden splash to his left makes him realize his thoughts of solitude were ill-informed.

“Hello?” He spins, water rippling around him, eyes darting around the surface to assess whatever danger lay beneath.

But it doesn’t look like danger as a face slowly comes into view, chestnut hair slowly rising through the sea. She blinks at him, eyes glowing almost otherworldly in the sunlight, and she purses her lips. She looks wary, scared, as if he was the one who impinged on her peaceful time. “Hi.”

“How the hell did you get here?” He cranes his neck up at the cliff; there were no other cars there when he arrived and he sure as hell would have heard someone else diving into the water. And it’s inaccessible from the sides, cliff towering over them, steep rock jutting out in treacherous points, against which the Pacific crashed in rhythmic pulses booming into the sea air. “This is my spot.”

Her plush lips fall open. “Your spot?” she sputters incredulously. “Are you kidding me?”

“I’ve been coming here since I was eight.”

“I’ve been coming here forever. You don’t own this spot, you utter buffoon!” She swims closer, glaring at him, and, had he less experience in dealing with the rage of others, he might have stood down; however, her anger only fuels his.

“How did you even get here? I was swimming here first.”

“You don’t own the sea and you were not here first!” Her movements are choppy with anger as she gets closer, but Colt doesn’t retreat, treading water and glaring defiantly back. “I’ve been here…” Her diatribe fades into the surf as he notices that she is being followed, graceful teal fin swimming after her, flapping over the water.

“Umm, “ he interrupts, “something’s behind you.”

“What?” She spins, and the tail does too, swirling around her, too close to be a normal fish. It doesn’t look like a normal anything, swaying just over the waves, matching her every motion movement-for-movement.

His heart stops and, before he can think, he ducks under the water, eyes stinging as he forces them open. It has to be a trick of the light, some weird fever dream. Maybe he died leaping from the cliff. Maybe he isn’t even in LA, instead still lying in his dorm room having talked himself out of this adventure of paternal reunion. Because anything would make more sense than what he was seeing.

For, in front of his eyes, there is a fucking tail where her legs should be, swirling gracefully and leaving tiny ripples in its wake. The scales glisten, catching the sunlight filtering through the ocean, and it is strangely compelling: unnatural, alien, gorgeous. He opens his mouth and swallows a gulp of salt water, sputtering to the surface to hack and cough and try to get air to his lungs.

When he can finally see again, she is gaping at him, eyes wide, breath coming in uncertain pants. “Wait…” she murmurs weakly, “I can explain-”

“Oh my God.” He can barely believe his eyes but, at the terrified look on her face, he realizes he wasn’t seeing things. “You’re a mermaid.”

~~~~~

The plan had been simple: get to LA, go to the sideshow, have the requisite argument with his father, probably punctuated by a screaming match at the garage, and then fight his way into the crew and prove his worth.

But everything had changed after his leap into the water, when he had met a goddamned mermaid, a fucking sea creature, floating outside the PCH like she belonged in California, not in the dusty tomes of some piece of shit folklore.

Make no mistake, he still wanted to fight his way back into his father’s good graces (assuming Teppei possessed good grace, Colt would be content with begrudging acceptance instead). But now, he was desperate to solve the mystery. He had begged her to stay, voice dipping into embarrassingly weak pleas, but she had panicked and leapt into the waves, tail flitting behind her in a merry farewell as she fled.

He couldn’t let that be the last time he saw her; he had to talk to her again. He was so distracted, wandering around the sideshow with his mind on the sea, that he almost walked straight into a couple, wandering the cars side-by-side and meandering through the crowd.

“Watch where you’re going,” he shot out, halfheartedly, more instinct than conscious thought.

“You watch where you’re going.” The kid turned, swinging his hair out of his eyes to size Colt up. He rolled his eyes. Did this punk really want to start something here? Of all places?

The girl in front of him stops short as well but, as soon as she turns, she flinches, damp hair settling in haphazard waves around her fine features as she gawks at him, eyes wide. They gleam, large in her face, an almost otherworldly glow from the dance floor strobe lights, and she looks terrified. Colt scoffs; he might rough up her man, but he wouldn’t lay hands on this tiny brunette. He’s not that much of a prick.

She stares at him and takes a deep breath, exhaling loudly as she studies him. He blinks back, waiting, never dropping the gaze. Finally, she speaks. “Ummm....Hi?”

With the sour intensity painting her features, he expected a better opening line. “What? Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” She’s still staring at him in terror, eyes glassy, face pale.

“What? Ummm… you don’t…” Her tongue pokes out to wet her trembling lips and he follows the movement before remembering the asshole perched next to her. “You don’t know who I am?”

“Sorry,” he scoffs, already bored. “I don’t pay attention to every single pair of losers that has the audacity to get in my way.” He shakes his head and stalks off, mind already returning to the waves and the shadow of a tail underneath the surface.

~~~~~

He is absolutely, completely, world-endingly obsessed.

Colt is no stranger to obsession (motorcycles, video games, reclaiming his place as rightful heir through fists and sweat and blood) but his desperate need to see the mermaid is bordering on insanity. He leaps from the cliff, again and again and again, varying hour of day and day of week based on a detailed spreadsheet he drafted to give him the best probability to see her again. The middle of the day is fruitless, depths of the sea a brilliant reprieve from the sun sweltering overhead, but he doesn’t even notice, feeling only dismay when she doesn’t appear. The middle of the night is no better, moon lighting a solemn path through the trees as its glow echoes softly over the lapping waves, but still no mermaid.

He is starting to lose hope, despair seeping its way into his heart, when he spies a familiar head of hair in the evening sunset.

“It’s you,” he breathes and swims closer, drawn to her in a way that he doesn’t want to examine too hard.

“Hi.”

“I’ve been trying to find you, I’ve been coming here almost every day.”

She rolls her eyes. “Is that where you’ve been going?”

“What?”

“When you take off….” she opens her mouth and closes it again, eyes scrutinizing him as if he were a puzzle to be deciphered and conquered. “This is where you go?”

“What?”

“When you…” she trails off before shaking her head, dismissively. “Never mind. You are an idiot.”

He ignores the insult as he takes her in, the water tracing gentle paths down her features, the tail glowing luminescent behind her, reflecting the waning rays of sun dipping over the ocean. “Who are you? How did you get here? Where are you from?”

“You are really curious about me.” She smiles sanguinely and her tail flips behind her. Colt feels lightheaded.

“You have no idea.”

“I’m from LA obviously,” she giggles and the tilt of her laugh pulls him closer, legs kicking out until he is treading water directly in front of her.

“What, a secret coven of mermaids hidden in the Hills?”

She laughs and his fingers twitch, aching to reach out and touch the droplet heavy on her cheek. “Covens are for witches.”

“Do you mean the mythical kind? Do they also live in LA? Or are you referring to the lady who runs the bodega on 92nd cuz she is a real witch?”

She laughs again and he would do anything, absolutely anything, to hear the sound again. “I’m sure you may have instigated something there.”

“Maybe…” The smile still plays on her lips; there is so much he wants to ask, so much he needs to know.

“I can’t believe there are mermaids. Damn.” A sudden thought hits him; he considered this his secret but maybe it wasn’t just his. “Does anyone else know about you?”

“What? I guess…My dad…” She looks past him, gazing far away at something only she can see. “He knows but he…he doesn’t understand what it’s like. What I’m like.”

Her eyes suddenly water with something more painful than the sea and Colt is stuck by the fact that even mermaids have human problems. “Yeah, I get that.”

“I know you do, Colt.”

“Wait...How did you know my name?”

She rolls her eyes, and the sadness vanishes, replaced by the familiar teasing grin, the sense that she knows some secret that he can’t comprehend. “You are a goddamn…It’s mermaid magic, Colt. Mermaid magic.”

~~~~~~

He spends less and less time at the shop.

He’s sure his father is delighted, but he’s also sure Pop harbors secret, unnecessary concerns about his whereabouts. The crew seems the same as when he was shipped out east, as bumbling as ever, but now when he desperately escapes from the crowd, it is with purpose. He yearns to catch yet another glimpse of the girl, tail fleeting in the water, smirk on her face as they banter back and forth.

He isn’t interested in anything but the mermaid.

Except maybe one thing. One person.

The girl from the sideshow, Ellie, has somehow integrated herself into the crew. At first, he was doubtful, wondering how a careful valedictorian could fit in with a group of hardened thieves, but she seemed to integrate seamlessly into the group, her intelligence a compliment to a crew that was severely lacking.

And apparently even he found it hard to reject her, her toughness and drive reminding him of himself. She’s fast on her feet; they have traded almost infinite barbs, various interchanges and insults, her quick wit keeping pace even with his own. He's also caught her glancing his way, peeking glances from across the shop, interest and confusion painting her face. He looks at her as well, more than he would admit, and he tells himself it is solely curiosity. Sure, she's attractive, but she's also rejecting her cozy home for a shadowed existence in a crew on the edge. Of course, he's curious.

Which is how he finds himself escorting her to her driver’s test which, obviously, she passed with flying colors. Beaming with pride, she insists on using her new paper permit to drive them back to the garage, hands confidently gripping the steering wheel as he watches the highway fly by.

“You know you’re an idiot, right?”

He gapes at her. The insult is familiar; it’s far from the first time she called him that, but it seems rather random this time. “Pot, meet kettle,” he huffs.

“You are just so dumb.” She only smiles wider. “You don’t see what’s right in front of your face.”

“I see another idiot who is gonna waste twenty minutes if she misses the off-ramp.”

”Whatever,” she sighs and dutifully puts her blinker on, plush lips pursing at him. “You think you’re so smart, with your stealthy getaways, your little secret. You’re nowhere near as smart as you think you are.”

“What are you-” His voice fades away as his mind races. How did she know-? She couldn’t know. Right? He hasn’t told anyone about the mermaid, about his trips to the cliff, about flying though the air to find her, waiting for him, wet skin glowing in the setting sun.

“I know you have a secret…” She glances over then quickly averts her eyes to the road. “Maybe I do, too.”

“Ha. Your secret is that you got mixed up in a life of crime.”

“And your secret is even more insane.”

He stares at her, trying to figure out what exactly she knows, but she only winks at him, throwing her car in park. “What are you…” he trails off.

“What’s the one thing you want more than anything?” Her lips play in a sly smirk and he can’t help but incline his head towards her. Colt wants, God, he wants all the time. He is a perpetual raging ball of want, desperate for things he can’t have-access to his father’s life, a place in the crew, the trust of a mermaid-all of it swirling in his mind but, right now, the one thing he wants is to lean even closer, to capture Ellie’s lips in his own and bite at her snarky smile until his name on her lips is the only thing she herself wants.

He inhales, sharp, the desire pulsing through him sharp as a splash of water over his face. He is suddenly as cold as the sea.

“You’ve almost got it,” she inches closer and her eyes positively gleam, brilliantly reflecting the dashboard indicators, and she gives him one last smirk before pulling away, springing out of the seat and slamming the door behind her.

Now that she has moved, Colt feels like he can finally breathe, air rushing into his lungs. It smells slightly of salt, as if the sea breeze had made it all the way to Gramercy Park, even through the closed windows. Strange.

~~~~~

“You are an idiot,” she sings, voice high over the surf.

They splash together in the waves and he peppers the mermaid with questions, most of which she answers in between diving under the surf to pop up behind him, hair swirling as he stutters. Every time they meet up, he has more questions, and she indulges him with a small grin. He has learned that unicorns don’t exist, she has never seen an actual sea monster, and, apparently, her overprotective father is so worried about a human finding out about her that he used to put a GPS locator on her phone.

“But how do you have a phone?”

“Idiot!!! How are you so-urgh!” She blows bubbles through full lips and laughs. “Everyone has a phone.”

“What, you just have a pocket in your tail?” He dives, reaching out to slowly caress the scales under the surface. They are smooth to the touch, like sea glass or river rocks, glowing incandescent in the water. She swats at him, tail flicking playfully, and he swims after it, giving chase until his lungs burn and he needs to emerge, sucking in oxygen.

“I told you, I’m not always a mermaid.”

“So you go to school? Like normal?”

She blinks slowly at him, eyes imploring. “I’m in high school. A senior. I’m gonna be the valedictorian of my class.”

“That’s why you think I’m an idiot, because you’re a nerdy smartypants.”

She rolls her eyes. “Nope. Not why I think you’re an idiot, Colt.”

“Will I ever get to see you as a human?”

“Ummm…” She swallows, hard, and a flash of terror crosses her face. His stomach swoops, deja vu hinting at something in his mind, but she continues before he can examine the sensation. “I don’t know. Can I trust you?”

“I’ve kept your secret so far.”

“You have,” she avers with certainty, nodding to herself. “You have.” She looks around at the ocean, deep in thought and chewing on her lips, before she looks at him resolutely. “Ok. Let’s do this.”

“Now?”

She nods again and ducks under the waves, swimming out in front of him, slowly, so his clumsy human feet can follow her to a shadowy cove hidden in the cliff side. He walks out onto a small strip of sand as she pulls herself up, arms propelling her forward as her tail glistens and picks up damp granules of warm sand.

“Wait here. Close your eyes.”

“Fine,” he huffs but dutifully listens, hearing her slither behind a rock. There’s a quiet rustling, movement, fabric draping over wet skin; he can almost imagine her behind the rock, skin wet from the ocean, salt clinging to every inch his tongue could chase. He swallows the flash of heat down.

“Ok.” Her voice trembles and she sounds intensely nervous, though Colt can’t figure out why. “You can open your eyes.”

He does and, standing right in front of him, the mermaid is clad in jeans and a tank top. Her dark hair is sopping wet as she rings it out, strands tangling over her fingers and draping over her shoulder. He steps closer in shock. “You have legs!”

She blinks at him again, dumbfounded. “You are as dumb as these rocks.”

He is about to retort when she reaches down to grasp a sweatshirt, sliding the familiar blue over her head, rocking back on her heels and crossing her arms right below where the white lettering spells out LANGSTON.

“Holy shit-”

“I told you you were an idiot.”

“I am so stupid. I am so fucking stupid.”

“Wow, we actually agree on something.” She smiles and he can’t stop his fingers from reaching out to grasp her hips, Ellie’s human hips.

When she kisses him, she tastes like the sea.

Tags

Perma @desireepow-1986 @leelee10898 @emichelle @client-327 @choicesgremlin @brightpinkpeppercorn @thequeenofcronuts @lilyofchoices @choicesarehard

ROD @omgjasminesimone @mskaneko @lovemychoices

Colt

@deimosensblog @alegria1580 @thefarrari @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves @jolietmaraud @flowerpowell@poeticscolt @zaira-oh-zaira @akrenich @sibella-plays-choices @maxwellsquidsuit @liamzigmichael4ever @octobereighth @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction

#playchoices fanfic #colt x mc #colt kaneko #ride or die: a bad boy romance #thank you for the amazing idea #so much #amy writes

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zuppizup · 4 years ago

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you’re one of my fave fic writers so i was just wondering, what’s your typical process for planning a multi-chapter fic or oneshot?

Oh, wow thank you, nonny! You absolutely made my day.

I actually organise all my WIPs in a spreadsheet. I started doing this because I wanted all my notes in one place but was getting sick of endless scrolling through documents.

This got a bit longer (and more boring) than I intended but you got me talking about spreadsheets so it was inevitable.

There may be more than one person snorting at the mention of "The Spreadsheet"

Each fic has its own tab. Key scenes/ideas/lines of dialogue get their own row. I use columns to organise everything into rough chapter guidelines. Depending on how big the fic, I sometimes have more columns for arcs.

I also use some of the inbuilt functions to calculate dates, if it's important to the story. Both Husk and Zoom-mates, for example, required I knew what day/date certain events were happening.

So, a simple plan looks something like this...

Husk didn’t have too many separate threads, so it was a pretty straight forward fic to plan.

Then something like Purgatory looks a little more complicated...

So, all the major plot points are grouped into rough chapter predictions, I use colours to highlight foreshadowing, allowing me to (hopefully) remember where I need to refer back to something. I’ve got a column for the rough number of days that have passed. There’s a little section on the character’s ages, so I can keep that straight in my head. I’m keeping a rough eye on word count too, as I like to try and keep more or less consistent.

Those two multi-chapters are my most extreme examples. Most other fics fall somewhere in between, but I am a planner rather than a panster, so I do like to have an outline before I start something.

Respect to the pansters, I have no idea how do it. I’d tie myself up in knots in about two chapters, if I didn’t have an outline.

In terms of ideas/inspiration, I use an easily sync-able app (Google Keep) to make quick notes whenever inspiration hits. Inspiration come from anywhere. A song, a book, a tv show... even if I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, I write it down somewhere I can easily refer back to it.

And then when a fic really starts bugging me, I start writing! I like having my outlines to direct the story but I'm not super strict about adhering to them. If something is feeling forced, I go with what seems natural for the story/characters and adjust my notes to suit.

Hope this helps. I use excel every day at work, so I find it really easy to navigate. I like being able to simply move cells around but more than anything, I like having all my outlines in one easily navigated document.

#spreadsheets are the future!#join my religion #Anon asks #Thanks for the ask!#writing asks

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bigbadredpanda · 6 years ago

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Accompanying you to sleep - Wei Wuxian

I’ve had this sitting in my folder for quite a while. It's a translation of the original subtitles of the audio drama track with all the cute kaomoji peppering Wei Wuxian's speech (in red) as well as Lan Wangji's unspoken lines (in dark blue).

This audio drama extra shows us a glimpse of Wangxian married life after the the end of the main story. Like its counterpart “Accompanying to sleep - Lan Wangji”, there are a few references to the book extra “From night to morning” (like the broken bath tubs). (｡◝ᴗ◜｡)

Please consider supporting the series by buying the audio drama, the production team is doing such an amazing job! Here’s a guide: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19qQMx5u4208VpYgGYtaoYQXiR5EqSgSH7zujiFRjjz4/edit#gid=0

Source: https://www.missevan.com/sound/player?id=1174124

#mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #mdzs audio drama #mdzs translation #my translations

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hms-chill · 5 years ago

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prompt for rwrb! established relationship + hogwarts au where henry is a quidditch captain and alex is the commentator for the game :)

Hello! I’m so sorry this took ages, but I’m (hopefully) back to writing things! Life was hectic for a bit there!

Also, I’m really sorry, but I’m not totally comfortable writing a Hogwarts AU. I haven’t read the books, and I worry that I would unknowingly perpetuate Rowling’s problematic views. This isn’t to say there aren’t good Hogwarts AUs (there are, I’ve read them and they’re great!), only that I am unfortunately not the person to write them. So, instead, here’s a high school baseball AU that hopefully gets to the heart of what you were hoping for!

“You’re a Catch(er)”

“It’s a fine afternoon out on the baseball fields today, folks, sunny and hot but that’s just what we’d expect. And while the rest of us are trying to cool down, our varsity Trojan baseball team is warming up on the field. I’m Alex C-D, and I’ll be bringing you all the most important info during this game, along with my good pal Nora H. The district insisted she join me in the box today, since apparently, I need, quote unquote, ‘supervision’ to keep me from getting, quote unquote, ‘distracted’.”

“I’m here to keep him from spending too much time talking about his boyfriend,” Nora says, leaning into her mic and rolling her eyes.

“Which is unfair, really, because I spend the perfect amount of time talking about everyone. It’s not my fault that a certain gorgeous, kind, talented, sexy catcher just so happens to be involved in every play. It’s not my fault that he spends so much time squatting, and we get a great view of his--”

Nora presses a button to take them off the air, and the radio broadcast goes to a commercial while music plays over the stands. Alex grins at her and leans back in his chair, stretching a bit and glancing out over the crowd. He’s just out of reach of the rolled up scorebook she’s trying to hit him with, and they both know it.

It’s not a bad turnout today, despite the heat. Alex sees his sister, June, and Henry’s sister Bea in the crowd. He waves, but he’s looking past them and out to the field itself before he can really stop himself. Almost automatically, he finds himself looking for sandy hair, and he’s got a wink and a wave for his boyfriend. Henry waves back, rolling his eyes a bit as Alex grins.

Their ad break ends, and Nora starts to read off different players’ stats. Alex keeps quite until she gets to Henry, and just before she moves on from him, Alex ads, “He’s also got the highest number of announcer boyfriends on the team, that’s right folks. Henry Fox, the most beautiful man alive, number four on the field but number one in my heart.”

Nora ignores him, but he knows how this goes. She’ll be professional and serious the first few innings, after which she’ll realize that there are times when baseball is, quite possibly, the most boring sport in existence. She’ll be down to his level of shenanigans by the fourth inning at the latest.

The first inning is slow. Alex gets in a good “Who’s on First?” reference while Nora’s introducing the team, but it drags, and he can tell she’s getting just as bored as he is, even with her spreadsheets and scorecards to keep her company. So, when the they finally get their third out and while the visitors are warming up, Alex says, “Tell y’all what. We’re off to a bit of a slow start today; send us your best jokes. Tweet ‘em, message us on something, send carrier pigeons if you have one. We’ll read some on air between innings, and if anyone makes Nora spit out a mouthful of water I’ll buy you a candy bar or something. Now we’re up for the bottom of the first, score is 2-0 Lightning, but that’s just because our Trojans haven’t had a go yet. First up is Basil Watton, with a batting average that Nora’s about to tell you, because I just dropped math.”

“It’s 0.28; I can read numbers. First pitch is a strike, and on the second, he’s connected! That’ll be a single for Watton, folks! Now we’ve got Dorian Hallward, with a batting average of 0.30.”

“Just remember, folks, Henry Fox is up fifth, so stay tuned. And Pez is seventh, so you’ve got him to look forward to, too.” And so the game goes. Henry gets a double, knocking in two runs, and Alex nearly cheers over the next batter. Pez gets Henry in with a single, and they end the inning 2-4.

Alex reads off a few baseball jokes that people have tweeted them between innings, making sure Nora’s got a mouthful of water before each one, but none make her spit before they go to a commercial or music break. In the next inning, they get to see Henry throw for an out at second, whipping the baseball over Pez and halfway across the field. Nora cuts the power to Alex’s mic, but he’s cheering so loudly he can still be heard faintly over hers.

Henry gets out his next at bat, but he gets someone in, and that’s enough for Alex. By the third inning, Nora is pretty clearly losing interest in being professional. When Alex slips her a note offering to get them popcorn at the next commercial break, she nods furiously as she reads batting averages. He gets them both bags of popcorn and some m&ms to mix in from the concession stand as soon as he can, and they spend the fourth inning stuffing popcorn and candy into their mouths while the other’s talking. By the end of the inning, they’re trying to catch each other with full mouths, making a game of it along with the baseball they’re reporting on. Still, Alex makes time to let everyone know that, when Henry takes the catcher’s mask off as the teams switch positions, his matted down hair looks very, very sexy.

In the fifth inning, with two outs on the board, Henry steals home for a run that could put them in the lead. His helmet is knocked off as he slides, and Alex leads the crowd in holding their breath as the umpire dusts off the plate, trying to make sure Henry’s touched it. There’s a tense moment, then the umpire’s arms are out to his side, and Alex is cheering over his announcement of “Safe!”. Henry pops up and jogs to get his helmet, blowing a kiss to the press box as he does. Alex makes a sound that is not entirely human as Nora unplugs his mic for the rest of the inning. It’s probably for the best.

The other team pulls ahead in the sixth, but not by too much. Alex is back by the end of the inning to lead everyone in the classic baseball seventh inning stretch. It’s a tradition he’s brought to school games, and even some of the team warming up get into it, fitting toe touches and hamstring stretches in between warm up throws. As Henry walks out to squat behind the plate, he does a toe touch. The view from the press box is stunning.

Alex keeps it together. Mostly.

Despite their stretching, the seventh inning isn’t great. The other team pulls ahead again, and it drags, a series of foul balls and single hits making an already painful inning worse. Alex tries reading jokes to keep people entertained, but Nora doesn’t laugh hard enough to spit, and the crowd is losing energy. When the teams swap, Alex plays the most exciting song they have while Nora crunches numbers.

“We can definitely come back, it’s just... the bottom of the lineup’s got to start performing for us.”

Alex nods, glad their mics are off. The break ends, and they’re in the bottom of the seventh, starting near the bottom of their lineup. These hitters are the ones who struggle a bit, who are better for their defence than their offence. The first baseman and shortstop are the seventh and eighth positions, and third base is ninth. But to Alex’s surprise, they all make it on base. It’s with the bases loaded that Basil Watton hits a double, knocking two in and making sure everyone knows they’re still fighting for a win.

The home team takes the lead in the bottom of the eighth, and they go into the ninth with a one point lead, cautiously hopeful. If they can hold this lead and get three outs, they won’t play the bottom of the ninth, and they’ll have won the game.

The first out comes from a ball hit straight to Pez, who passes it to first. The runner never stood a chance.

The bases are loaded when it happens. Two strikes, and Pez pitches. The batter connects just a second too late, just a fraction too low. The ball flies straight up, and the batter takes off running. Henry’s helmet is off, and Alex breaks his trance to lean toward the microphone.

“And it’s up-- this could be out number two folks, Fox has his helmet off, he’s going for it, we can see his sexy tired concentrating face, and he’s caught it! that’s out number two! And the runner on third is trying to steal. He looked back, but the second base runner is there; he’s got to go. He’s sliding, but Henry’s got his glove down. All eyes on the umpire, and... He is OUT! Ladies and gents, both and neither, that is out number three! That’s game, folks! Whoooo!”

“Stay tuned next for our team interviews, but for now, enjoy this last word from our sponsors.” Nora takes them to a commercial break, and Alex is out the door with their portable mic, running to the field to give Henry a massive hug. They’ll get pizza with the team now, and then Henry will be all his. They’ll get to celebrate an amazing game, and he’ll get to spend time with the star of the show.

Notes:

I’m so sorry this took ages! Life, fam.

Anyway, some notes on positions:

Henry as catcher, because they’re relatively easy to overlook, but they’re super important to the team and actually call the shots from behind the plate. This seemed like something Henry would really enjoy, since he’s pretty cognitive and a good leader, but he doesn’t love the spotlight.

Pez as pitcher, because he does love the spotlight. The book mentioned that he sort of absorbs attention, which felt right for a pitcher.

Nora as a scorekeeper, because stats! Our gal loves stats; baseball is perfect for her. It’s like... all stats.

#rwrb #rwrb fic #red white and royal blue #red white and royal blue fic #henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #high school au #red white and royal au #rwrb au

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rigelmejo · 5 years ago

Text

mejo’s rough but somewhat effective guide to beginning to learn chinese:

1. get interested in a chinese drama. go do it. Now, watch it on youtube with your native language as the subs, and pick a video version that’s already hard-subbed with Chinese (so you can see both english and chinese subtitles). Alternatively, download the free chrome extension “Learn a Language with Netflix” and then find your drama of choice in netflix and pick chinese +english subs).

2. Watch the drama. Make a point to look up certain chinese words in google translate or pleco - just quick lookup where you draw the chinese character you see on screen, or type the pinyin if you catch the pronounciation. Just do this occasionally. The point is, do this to try and pay attention to the chinese more. You’re doing this to notice some (hopefully common) words, and to start training yourself to look at the chinese subtitles and to listen more carefully.

3. Ok, now you should have some interest in learning chinese properly. Your next step is to look at these two lists: 200 most common words chinese and 625 words to know in mandarin chinese (I recommend downloading the absolutely PHENOMENAL spreadsheet mathewko28 made - its in both traditional and simplified characters). The first list is designed to help get a person communicating their basic thoughts effectively. The second list is well designed for a broad introduction to a lot of common words. Now, you do not have to memorize these lists. But I do want you to go through them. Make a note of all the words on them you ALREADY know from noticing them popping up regularly in the drama you watched. For the words you don’t know, make a conscious effort to look at them/review them a few times. You can make flashcards, read them in a list, write them down, or just glance at them repeatedly. Just please look through these lists - reviewing the words you know, and reading the new words - several times. Do this within a month or few weeks. You can memorize them if you want, but mostly just focus on seeing them OFTEN for a few weeks. Continue consuming the chinese media of your choice (a drama, youtube videos, whatever you like). Keep making an effort to look up some words in whatever chinese media you’re consuming.

4. So now you should have been watching dramas, and looking over common words, for either a month or 2 months. Do not expect perfect memorization from yourself - you still don’t know a lot, and that’s okay. But you should be a lot more familiar with chinese then you were at the ‘I recognize absolutely nothing’ stage you started at. Now is a good time to do a few things at the same time: look up Chinese radicals and READ A FEW ARTICLES about them. Mainly, read articles about how many they are, read a table that defines those radicals, and read an article that explains how those radicals combine to create chinese characters (and often the radicals either contribute sound or meaning to the character they are in). Literally just read up on that. It should take a day or two, a week at most. You can read up on it more later if you want. But KNOWING that radicals exist, and starting to notice them within characters, is going to help you a lot later on. At this time, also look up the general rules on how to write characters (stroke order directions). If you want to learn proper stroke order for every character, you’ll need to learn that later when specifically learning characters. But for right now, recognizing radicals as chunks within a character, and knowing roughly how to properly write a character, will help you a TON with looking up characters in dictionaries (whether a physical stroke-order based one, or google translate or Pleco where you need to draw them to look them up). You should also look up a PINYIN guide article at this point. Learn what pinyin is, learn what the tones are. Learn that if two 3rd tones are together, the first one is pronounced as a second tone! Even though that change is never typed or written different in pinyin! (so ni3hao3 is pronounced ni2hao3, even though it will ALWAYS be written as ni3hao3 in pinyin.)

5. So you’re somewhere in month 2 now, or maybe month 3. You are still consuming chinese media. You have been learning a lot of common words. You have gotten better at understanding how characters are put together, and they’re now easier to look up and sometimes you even recognize their pronunciation based on a radical within the character. When you’ve been looking up characters, you should be listening to their pronunciation in Pleco or Google Translate - and trying to hear the tones. At this point... you may have noticed that while words are starting to make more sense, grammar is CONFUSING AS ALL HELL. Lets say you’re in month 3: keep looking up those common words from the common word lists, and keep looking up frequent words/phrases that show up in your dramas. Listen carefully to their pronunciation, make a mental note of the radicals that combine to form the characters. Try to make nmemonics to help you remember some words, if you have trouble remembering them. You may look up some articles on nmemonics at this stage.

6. You’re at the beginning of month 4. You know some words, some characters, and for the most part can recognize audio of the words you know. Grammar is driving you up the wall!! You don’t get it!!! Now is the time to look up a Chinese Grammar Guide. Look up whatever one on this planet you desire - who knows, you may even wish to look at multiple. But I highly recommend, sitting down and actually reading through an entire guide start to finish. Yes, I know its gonna be technical and a heavy read. Yes, I know some of it is gonna be rough to get through. Read through a guide, and reread the chapters/points you find confusing. Read through a grammar point until you understand the idea of how it works, THEN MOVE ON to the next point. Understand what you read, but if you cannot memorize it all or replicate it in your own sentences, that is fine. Absolutely fine. The main goal here is to just read through an entire grammar guide. Make yourself. It should take a few days to a couple weeks. It may be some grueling heavy focus hours of reading, just push through it. I recommend just picking one decent-to-read guide and then finishing it. You can go back and reference other grammar guides later. I read through https://www.chinese-grammar.org/ in about a week. Then later on in my studies, I used All Set Learning’s Chinese Grammar Wiki to look up points I found confusing. The whole point of chugging through a grammar guide, is to give yourself a rough overview of the way the language is structured. So that you can start noticing grammar in your chinese media moving forward. You will not understand all of it yet, but you should become familiar enough to recognize WHEN something new is happening with grammar, and now have some idea of what kind of ‘grammar point’ to look up for reference when you see a sentence and get confused.

7. You have now mega-crammed grammar. Your brain hurts. No more heavy text study for a while. Go back to consuming chinese media mainly. You can ignore the common word lists now - you may wish to go back and see how many words on those lists you KNOW now. You might be surprised. Overall though, just focus on watching some good shows. At this point, every so often risk trying to watch an ONLY-chinese video, or read an ONLY-chinese article. Yes... you will understand almost nothing. Pause the sentences you DO recognize pieces of, and look up the rest of the sentence in Google Translate/Pleco. Recognize when you see a grammar point that is familiar. Open up some chinese article/novel in Pleco EReader, or in the free app Idiom, or free chrome extension Zhongwen, and try to read through a few paragraphs using the ‘dictionary define’ feature in your chosen app to define the words you don’t know. At this point, since you have the definitions at a click of your finger, the hardest part will be the grammar. This is where you start really getting more familiar with all those grammar points you just read about. This is where you start seeing them actually being used. It’s the middle of month 4 to month 5. Do this for a few weeks. Every few days, challenge yourself to watch an all-chinese short youtube video, or to try and read a few paragraphs of all-chinese in an app where you can look up definitions. Your brain will feel fried in an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT way then chugging through a grammar guide made it feel. You will feel mighty confused. You will often reference a grammar guide just to look up specific points you noticed when reading/watching that confused you. These few weeks will be weird. But the beauty of it is, you’re learning a TON the whole time you’re feeling confused.

8. It is now month 5 or 6. You feel FRIED from trying to just straight up CONSUME chinese media in only chinese with a dictionary/definition tool at hand. It’s been exhausting. You are currently brainstorming ANY METHOD to make this task easier. So, now its time to make this task easier! You may now go back to mostly consuming chinese media that has dual english/chinese subtitles, so you can rely on the english subtitles again while remaining exposed to the now somewhat-recognizable chinese subtitles as well. You will now only occasionally, once every week for 10 minutes or so, look at chinese media ONLY in chinese and attempt to comprehend it. You will do this short 10 minute activity mostly to gauge your progress. For the most part, just go back to dual english/chinese content, and look up the occassional new frequent word when you get curious, while every so often trying to read the now much closer-to-comprehensible chinese subtitles. If you’re like me, it’s at this point that you’ve decided... you really just need to know more characters and words. Because looking up every single freaking word was exhausting! Your new hard-study task, is to really dedicate time to learning characters and words. Find yourself either wordlists, flashcards (I use memrise decks), and/or good reference books (I have an 800 character reference book, and a 2,000+ character HSK reference book). Spend your portion of dedicated-study time working your way through these. Make measurable goals like “i will review 50 flashcards this week” or “i will read through 1 chapter of my book every X days”. Make measurable rewards if you have to (I will get myself an ice cream if i read 20 pages of this character mnemonic reference book, etc). If your goal is to pass an HSK test, now is the time to get focused on HSK specific study materials such as an HSK textbook, website, course, etc - and actually purposefully work through it. Make measurable goals, do them regularly. Make measurable progress. If you are doing it for the reasons I am, then your goal is just word and character learning. If you’re preparing for an HSK test or something similar, now is ALSO the time to really drill/practice grammar points you need for your specific test/level. Remember, if you care about audio comprehension, to study using some tool that also provides audio (my flashcards have audio).

9. If you are like me, and just learning for comprehension’s sake: After a month of casual chinese content consumption and concentrated word study, gauge your progress. Sit down and note which measurable goals you accomplished, and the reality of your progress versus your hopes (maybe acquire words slower than you thought you did, maybe some goals were unrealistic for you, maybe you ignored parts of your study plan). Make an adjusted study plan that is more likely to work for you. Gauge your progress by: once again, attempting to comprehend something only in chinese. Watch a short video in chinese, try to read an article again. See where you’ve improved. (For me, I noticed my grammar comprehension had improved significantly, along with my individual character comprehension - it was specifically 2-character words I still struggled with the most). Reiterate to yourself WHY you want to learn chinese, then restructure your goals accordingly based on your progress and where you’re lagging. For me, speaking ability is not a high priority - so I was mostly concerned with my vocabulary still being the biggest thing preventing me from comprehension. For you, it may be something else. It could even be grammar - if it is grammar, this is now probably the time to purposefully, using measurable goals, work through a grammar guide starting with ‘beginning’ points or else starting with what you’re struggling with that is preventing you from comprehension. Basically, you are noticing your progress, and coming up with the next steps of plans.

10. You are basically going to be repeating step 9 every few weeks/every month or so. Continue to casually engage with chinese media, and occasionally (once a week or so) try to comprehend only-chinese content to gauge your progress. Work on your measurable goals for the ‘focused study’ portion of your study plan. For your free time, you may do other focused study that’s not as urgent of a goal to you, or you may continue practicing with the language (consuming chinese media, talking to people in chinese once you’re at that level, listening to chinese or chinese learning podcasts, reading books at your comprehension level or graded readers, etc). For me, my step 9 was reading through about 300-500 most common characters, then measuring my progress. After I measured my progress, I was sick of looking at characters - so I switched to reading graded readers, and using most-common-word flashcards and that was my Step 10 focused-study portion. I am now doing primarily my most common word flashcards in memrise. I am to word 650 and it has made significant progress in my comprehension. I am now familiar with a lot more basic literary words, so in novels it’s getting easier for me to locate actual information from ‘then/before/after/so/therefore/but/yet’. In watching dramas, my comprehension is now considerably higher. As a challenge, I watch one of my dramas in only chinese - and look up an occasional word if I get confused by it. I did not start watching a drama in only chinese until month 8 - and I would not recommend it until you can sit through 1 episode of a drama without it taking too long (basically, i pause for only a few minutes through the show, so it still takes less than an hour to watch an episode), and until you can comprehend enough of the gist to bare only looking up words occasionally. Basically - you don’t want to pause too often, and you want to understand enough to follow along without having to pause too often. If you are not yet at that level, then continue consuming chinese-only content as the occasional challenge to gauge progress and push yourself to try things above your comprehension level.

If you ARE comfortable comprehending enough of the gist to watch something in only-chinese and it takes a short enough amount of time for you to remain focused, then go ahead. Because I am focusing primarily on increasing vocabulary right now, I am regularly noticing how the more vocabulary i know, the easier the only-chinese drama is for me to comprehend. Learning more vocabulary is noticably making my life easier with each measurable goal I meet. I am also noticing that my ability to comprehend chinese in REAL TIME (without pausing) is not as fast as i’d like. IF I paused the show i watched, then i would comprehend much more since i’d have time to slowly read the sentences and interpret the grammar. But my goal is not to slow down and analyse sentences at the moment - my goal is to practice watching chinese in real time, and practice comprehending it in real time. Later, once I have learned 2000 words and 2000 characters, THEN I plan to focus on reading as my main media-consuming. When I focus on reading, that is when i plan to slow down and practice comprehending a sentence piece by piece and actually paying attention to sentences slowly. But for right now, since I’m mainly just practicing comprehending in real-time, I am limiting how often i pause to read over chinese subtitles to only a few times an episode.

----My Current Plan----

For now, I plan to continue focusing on working through my 1000 word list, and hopefully work through my 2000 word list. Once I get ‘sick’ of studying words primarily, I’m going to shift my goal to my Intensive Chinese series of textbooks by Zheng Peng Peng. The first book is on spoken chinese, and I want to use it to really hammer in the basics and make sure I’ve got a solid knowledge of them. The second book is a little more on radicals and a quick read. The third book is intensive reading, where i plan to use it to really hammer in knowledge of the most common 800ish characters and words. These books focus on 1000-2000 very common words, with the last book being character-reading focused. I think they will help, after i get through the flashcards, to help me really solidify my memory of the most common words (and fill in any lacking common-words my flashcards may have not mentioned or not explained thoroughly). Once done with my 2000 most common character flashcards, and these books, I feel I should have a very solid foundation. These books also cover basic grammar, so I’ll get a review on some grammar topics and build a more solid foundation on how to USE those grammar structures.

After that point, I want to go back to character study - go to my 2000+ character reference book, and study any remaining characters I haven’t learned by that point. At the same time, I’ll go through my 5000 most common chinese words deck including HSK (in memrise). I will catch that deck up to the words I already know, and start working through the remainder. So I will basically be finishing up working through the character reference book i have, and also working through the bigger most-common-word flashcard deck I have. That should be a good way to expand what I can comprehend at that point.

AFTER that, I will either: read some of my grammar books so I can read more in depth about more grammar points. OR I will start diving into practicing reading. And I will alternate between one of these goals, or the point above (2000 characters/5000 words) depending on how well I can concentrate on either task/goal. I will continue to watch chinese dramas, and watch one in all chinese, and to continue occasionally trying to read.

#nts #progress #plan #study plan

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