#i still wouldn't choose to watch them without making it a little project with treats (screencaps)

[notasapleasure]

Doctors season 10 run (2008) - Part 1/3

Warning! Long post...

We're here for Matt Brown, Joplin's third appearance on the long, long, long running series Doctors. He's in seven episodes, so fingers crossed he's got fun things to do!

Episode 8: Light Fingers, Loose Tongues

Lurking in a bar looking unshaven and moody! With a spectacular eye roll when his sexist acquaintance brings along a guy who's only drinking water...

"A top man, loyal as the day is long." And apparently reminds the sexist businessman of himself as a kid, though he still hasn't had any lines.

His boss is an absolute wrong-un doing a lot of Crime I am sure and I suspect dear Matt is there to do the leg-breaking his boss is so fond of joking about.

Oooh his boss is a cop-killer. Hopes of Joplin actually having something interesting to do in his run of episodes hmm....fading.

He did just get to mumble a line or two though! I'm rooting for Hired Muscle with a Heart who will dob his boss in because he fancies Jess the undercover barmaid or something.

Anyway. Pretty in leather, though the haircut's a bit nerdy. Just ignore the fact he's laughing at his boss's sexist jokes.

Uh oh is he onto Jill the undercover cop barmaid? Or is "Enjoy yer fag?" his idea of a chat-up line?

Hhhhhdhdgdgdhffff 🥵 smoulder smoulder

Undercover police lady bartender: "What's a nice lad like you doing hanging about with someone like him?"

Matt, sounding like language is a foreign concept: "I work for ‘im. So do you."

Undercover police lady bartender who’s decided she’s going to have to flirt her way out of this with the only attractive man at the table: "Well just make sure you don't pick up any of his bad habits..."

Episode 9: Walking on Sunshine

I wonder if there will be any actual doctors in this episode?

Ah Matt's sexist boss is called Jack, and also gets to have a few digs at 'the Lithuanians'. And Matt is on car-driving for the obnoxious business-school son duty.

Ooh, bb doesn't like drugs and he doesn't like Jack's spoilt son Callum and he doesn't like the idea of giving the spoilt son a fancy car. It's about respect (for the car).

Apologies that I can't report much on this episode it features some amateur comic and I had to mute all his scenes because he drove me insane. Stand up comedy plus toddlers plus the miserable self-pitying doctor eurghh.

Ooh no, Matt's a good judge of character even among the criminal underworld - Jack's son is unhinged in a very unsubtle way. Luckily, Matt is good at first aid. Man with bloodied face lying behind the bins? "Bad."

He was quite sweet and gentle getting the injured guy up and is now on 'subtly drop off the broken-nosed drug dealer at A&E duty'.

I almost gave up at the end of this because y i k e s was it dull but THEN the doctor that was annoying me got. Literally flattened by a massive truck and it was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. Solid ten-minute gut-busting laugh. On that endorphin high I will continue in the knowledge that the annoying doctor won't be back!

Episode 12: Hunger Strike

The university is selling out to ASDA (well, Walmart. Well "Novo-Mart") because it's broke. A student is on hunger strike. "Oh go and have some breakfast!" Sick burn, Treasurer.

Matt's still around, but he's lost the jacket. Joplin aficionados: I am trying to get a good look at the arm that has a scar in Death in Paradise.

Inconclusive. More research needed.

Damn he has a hoodie on now. And continues to be suspicious/vaguely threatening/maybe creeping on Jill the undercover bartender. Naughty naughty, hiding guns.

Took me an age to get these screenshots, it was like the director told him to chew his gum as obnoxiously as possible crol

Episode 14: Wooden Heart

Whatever happened in episode 13 at the bar I suppose I'll just have to figure out as best I can - Matt wasn't involved so I don't care! Basically, Jack is manipulative and controlling, his son is a psycho, and Jill the undercover policewoman had to pretend she was seeing the solicitor who knows who she is.

Boo, hiss, Jack is contemplating using a baby and its pram to smuggle Bad Things! Matt isn't present.

This is so weird. The dentist is Elvis.

Oh HAI Matt! Costumes continue to become fluffier. More greys than blacks. Does it mean anything? He's openly snarking at the boss' psycho son and the teen mum who wants work running drugs in her pram...

"She's ok...if you're into gym slips."

"Might let you have a little go in her buggy an' all."

Well at least he gets to be a little bitch :')

Ohhhhhhh my god is he gonna make his move on the undercover copper bar lady? SUCH a creep but still. Fucking would in a heartbeat.

He did not make a move :’) just Loomed.

Oh "don't you do anything but skulk?" but he's so good at it...

Those were like...the most lines he's had in this? Initiative and all that! Still menacing as fuck in a quiet way, still unclear if he's hitting on Jill, looking out for her, or threatening her.

"If I were you, I'd worry about your own back..."

---

TBC: This post is already way too long and the last four episodes he’s in (16, 17, 18, 19) are a run, so presumably link together more closely. I’ll try to do a part 2 tomorrow, for anyone who, like me, is simply dying to know what side Matt’s going to be on, and just how bonkers the denouement of this whole thing is going to be :))

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for breaking up with my friend at a party he was hosting?

Basically, I've (F40s) been friends with this guy, F (M40s) for about twenty years. We met when we were in college (different schools but lived in the same apartment building) and he has been my absolute best friend pretty much ever since. For a very long time, until a couple of years ago, we were a group of three with my other best friend, C (M40s), but C and F had a large, public, and extremely dramatic falling out. Since then, I've managed to stay friends with both of them, but C and F haven't spoken since their fight.

One of the reasons C and F stopped being friends was the life choices that F made. F started out as an artist, an extremely talented and pretty successful and accomplished composer. C was his partner in writing (a genius playwright and lyricist), but got frustrated over years of watching F choose to chase success over creative satisfaction, leading to F often forgetting about the projects he was supposed to be working on with C. I understood where both of them were coming from; F wanted success and fame regardless of where it came from, while C wanted to make art for art's sake, and their different outlooks on why they were doing what they did led to their eventual split.

I never agreed with F's choices to chase fame and fortune, but ultimately, it was his choice to make. I never thought he was actually happy, but for the last years of our friendship, I was just hoping he'd realize that on his own. Over time, being friends with him became more stressful than it was fulfilling. I'll admit, I've always been a little bit in love with F, so it was even more painful for me to see him marry somebody else and be happy with her, which I was obviously sad about but happy for him, only to throw that relationship away by cheating with a woman who is terrible for him. After his divorce, he practically abandoned his son, which I also hated. His ex moved across the country, and even though F became extremely rich and successful, I still saw his son more than him. F didn't even go to his son's high school graduation, and I did. That was the breaking point for me.

I've stood by F for years despite the disastrous choices he's made. He abandoned his oldest and closest friend over different opinions, which is his choice but still seemed unnecessary to me, threw away all creative integrity he once had for the sake of making terrible movies that sold well but said nothing, abandoned his son, and even after marrying the woman that caused his divorce, cheated on her with a woman half his age and didn't even bother to keep it a secret. I was fed up.

F invited me to a huge party with his new Hollywood friends to celebrate the release of one of his movies. He paid for my flight out. I knew when I accepted that I was ready to end this friendship, which is where I think I might be the asshole. I was drunk before the party even started, a habit that began as a coping mechanism for the stress that F added to my life a while ago, because I knew I wouldn't be brave enough to go through with it without the alcohol. During the party, F brazenly flirted with and even kissed the young woman he's currently cheating on his wife with, and his other "friends" in the room either didn't care or treated it like fun gossip. I drank more. His wife, who has always hated me and known my feelings for F (unsure of if those two facts are connected, honestly), was cruel to me. His "friends" treated me like trash. Eventually, I spoke my mind. Yes, I was drunk, but I meant every word. Everybody in the room was fake and terrible, and F had turned into the kind of person who had earned their treatment of him. He isn't the man I met when I was 20 and fell in love with, not anymore. I never meant to break up the friendship as publically as I did, and I know doing it at the party and insulting his friends made it a much bigger deal than it had to be, but I couldn't wait to do it anymore. I needed it to be done.

So, AITA?

[nevermore-the-kitsune]

Pokemon Teams for Fictional Characters pt. 2

Damian Wayne

(Also, I'm not including move sets because in my headcannon Pokemon do remember all their old moves. But humans choose to only use four)

For this AU I'm having the Wayne's own the Gotham City Gym, which specializes in Dark types. Most of the cannon events still happened. Just with a few tweaks here and there. (Dick's 20, Jason's 16, Cass is 15 Tim's 15 but younger than Cass and Damian's 13 because I love AUs where there closer in age).

Anyway here we go!

First things first in the Pokemon Universe his alias wouldn't be Robin since they don't exist. Instead I think it would be Rookidee, since thats the closest Pokemon to a Robin.

His Partner Pokemon and ace would be a Gligar

Name: Goliath

Gender: Male

Why: Gligar screams Goliath (his Batdragon) plus the coloring of his evolutions matches with Dami's Robin and Batman outfits

Story: He found Goliath while climbing a mountain for his training. At the time he was four and Goliath was a hatching. Damian ended up giving him some food, seeing that the hatching was hungry.

Grateful, the Gligar followed him hoping to return the favor.

When Damian's hand got broken on that same trip, Goliath was the one to help him finish his mission and get home safely.

Talia was impressed that Damian could tame a wild Pokemon without catching it, so she allowed him to keep him as his first Pokemon.

-----

Next he would have a Meowth

Name: Alfred

Gender: Female

Why: This one has to do with its evolution. Persian are said to only be loyal to trainers it likes and that it takes a lot to get them to like you. Their also said to be prissy and uptight. This reminded me of Damian. How it took forever for him to trust his brothers and his own snobby attitude. Thus I think it fits.

Story: After coming to live with his father Damian didn't know how to act. He saw his "brothers" and father treating their Pokemon so different than how the League did. They all trained hard. But, there was something eles: warm praise for a job well done, asking for insight on a case (they had taught their bipedal pokemon sighn language) and comfort on a bad day. His father and brothers treated their Pokemon like... people

In the League Pokemon where the lowest soldier, lower than the slaves or concubines. They trained, ate then they had to and got in their ball.

He had been a little more lenient in his training with Goliath. When asked he said that he was still a baby and he had to take things slow in this stage or he might develop too much muscle mass and be unable to fly.

He had kept him out of his ball with the excuse of developing muscle mass at a proper pace.

He liked Goliath's company. The Gligar was a good companion. But on the same level as another person?

He had expressed these thoughts to Pennyworth, the only person in the house to give him a straight answer when he needed it.

Pennyworth had explained to him that some people love to hold power over others and that Pokemon where an easy target, since they couldn't communicate their emotions as clearly as people could.

"Think of Mistress Cain. She sometimes cannot communicate with words, but we know that she's intelligent. But some people see her as less than intelligent and treat her as such because of the power it gives them."

Two weeks later Damian would come across a group of teenagers attempting to shave a Meowth. The Pokemon was little more than skin and bone and crying out on pain. So, Damian broke their fingers and shaved part of their heads for good measure.

He kept the Meowth and named her after the man who taught him about the abuse of power.

---

Next, a Poochyena

Name: Titus

Gender: Male

Why: These Pokemon and their evolution are ruthless with their pray, and only obey trainers with external skill.

Story: Raven gave Damian Titus as a gift. She said that she rescued him from an underground fighting ring (where the battles are to the death). He was still to young to battle so he didn't need much rehabilitation. The other Pokemon there though...

---

Now we have a Type Null

Name: Heretic

Gender: ???

Why: This Pokemon was created in lab, and artificial designed for the purpose of fighting, just like Damian. True I could have given him Mewtwo, but that cat seems to fit Kon more.

Story: Damian's mother had spent years creating Type: Null with the purpose of being able to kill any target. As a last test she wanted to see which of her creations was suppirrior. So she sent the Type Null out to (try and) kill her son.

Damian, with the rest of his team, beat the Pokemon but couldn't kill it. He had long since vowed to wash the blood from his hands. Instead he offered his hand to it and asked it to join him.

---

Here we have the hardest to explain... Mimikyu

Name: Habibi (I hope I spelled that right)

Gender: Female

Why: Damian is complex, he wants to be accepted and loved just like Mimikyu but dosent know how. Both try to mimic others in order to get that love, Damian his father and Mimikyu Pikachu. So I see this as Damian's spirit Pokemon in a way.

Story: He didn't know why it was so hard to fit in. Gods know he tried. But... little things confused him. Like how eveyone could understand each other without words or singhing. He had no problems with that on a battlefield, but in day to day life; it felt like he was on a separate server.

Like how Todd knew at breakfast with just a look that Drake was in a bad mood and how to help. Or how Grayson could audomadicly tell what kind of day at school the rest of them had withen a few minutes. Hell even Drake could tell what grunts ment what from father! Which ment good job, Which ment I'm glade your okay, or frustration either at them or at a case (Cass didn't surprise him, she had to learn how to communicate without words and watch body language and micro expressions).

School was no better; sometimes it was to load or bright othertimes, when everyone was doing a test, it felt to quiet. But, to much or to little, Damian was always aware of every movement, every sound. It was like the very instincts that saved his life every night where turned against him.

He turned to his nearly forgotten childhood habits to distract himself from everything around him. That only led to more whisper shouting and what even he could tell where displeased glares with a grunt of "fucking tapping" or a snap of "stop!" He knew it was disrupting but it was all be could do to drown out the noise or silence.

On one particularly bad day at school; apparently during one of their tests one of his classmates had had enough of Damian's tapping and decided to make a scene.

There was some yelling from the kid. A few cries in agreement. Before the teacher had gotten hem to settle down. He had demanded that Damian look him in the eye and when he finally did told him to stop with the tapping or else he would be sent to the office, Gym Leaders son or not.

He was the last to finish that test where he normally finished first. The silence had been to load!!

After that clusterfuck Damian finally headed home. He had texted Grayson saying that he was meeting a friend somewhere to work on a project and to not pick him up. In truth he didn't want his brother reading what kind of day he had had. He needed some time to himself.

That was how he found himself in a nearby park. It was filled with plenty of sounds that didn't suffocate him and the fall leaves where soothing to his eyes. Damian had Titus out of his ball as company, knowing that the pup loved park walks.

They had been walking for an hour when they came across a box set off just on the edge of the trail. "Free to Good Homes" was written on the side in black sharpie.

No sound was coming from inside, so he assumed that the had all been taken. Until Titus went closer sniffing at the seemingly empty box.

"Pooch Pooch"

"Hmmm... what is is it boy?" He asked as he walked closer to his Pokemon and the Box. Damian hoped he was wrong. It was cruel to leave a baby Pokemon all alone, especially since the weather was getting colder by the day.

Inside the box was in fact a lone Pokemon. At first glance it looked like a Pikachu. But something was off. It looked more like a doll than a living creature. If it wasn't for the small chirps it let out and slight way that it was shivering from the cold Damian would have written it off as a toy. No wonder it got left behind...

Damian reached down and picked up the mystery Pokemon as gently as he could.

"Come on beloved, lets go home."

He tucked the Pokemon in his jacket to warm it up before reaching for his phone to call Grayson for a ride home.

That night Damian locked himself away, even skipped patrol, and spent a sleepless night learning everything he could about his newest Pokemon.

---

That was inspired by this comic

---

Finaly, for his last spot Eevee!!

Name: Omni

Gender: Female

Why: I'm going to have all the Batfam members have an Eeveelution. This branch and the Batfam are both growing consistently. We all have our favorites but we love them all the same. So I think it fits.

Story: Everyone in the family had an Eevee or one of its evolutions. Damian's Father said that Eevee was the Wayne family symbol, it was potential, the ability to become whatever you wanted.

Though it surprised Damian that the Wayne symbol wasn't a Noibat or Noivern (Batman's ace) at first he eventually understood the logic in choosing such a Pokemon to represent the family name. That only made things harder for him being the only one not having one. Did they not truly see him as family?

On the one year anniversary of Damian arriving at The Mannor, his family through a small party. Pennyworth made his favorite foods, The Mannor was decorated in tacky streamers (Graysons' idea) and they watched some of Damian's favorite fims, their Pokemon curled up with them. His father had offered to take the day off from the gym. Until Todd suggested that Damian take on the challengers.

The Gotham gym was part of his heritage. Damian had been training for the day that he could finally help weed out the weak challengers just like his siblings sometimes did (think the battles you do before challenging a gym leader in the games).

On that day, if the challengers agreed to it, their final battle wasn't with Bruce Wayne the Dark Knight but instead his son. Most accepted thinking that it would be an easy win, that they had lucked out in not having to battle one of the stongest Gym Leaders in the League and could still get the Shadow Badge.

Those poor fools.

Damian was only allowed to use Alfred, Titus and Habibi since he used Goliath and Heretic primarily as Rookidee.

Damian fought seven trainers that day in 3v3 fights. Only two of them got the badge.

With the day overwith and the night rising, so did Gothams' protecters.

The night ended with exhausted body's and adrenaline crashes. Damian was ready to slip into a mini coma from the day he had but before he could head upstairs to The Mannor...

"Not so fast baby bat." Graysons' voice called out to him. "We got one more surprise for you."

Damian raised his eyebrow at that. What else could they do? His father came back from the locker rooms where he had been desuiting, it always took him the longest because of his "old man bones" as Todd said.

"Son," his father said "its Wayne tradition to get your first Pokemon when you turn ten years old. I missed that with you." He paused, eyes briefly shifting to the floor before they snapped back on Damian's face. "Luckily there's one tradition we didn't miss. When you've lived at The Mannor for a year or the adoption papers get finalized, I give my children this..."

He pulled a Poke'ball out of his poket and handed to Damian. "Go on son, let them out."

He did

Staring at him was his own Eevee.

---

AN: All of Damian's Pokemon (sans maybe Omni, I'm thinking of leaving her as an Eevee) will eventually evolve. Eventually.

[potatotrash0]

Oh? You've been into Childhood alternative universes lately?*slides Mastermind Nagito file back and pulls seperate piece of paper out* Let's work with that. *sits in the worn down swivel chair that I imagine myself keeping in this hellscape of a fictional office* Now :).

Hinata and Nagito first met when they were six. Nagito was still sick at this time, so his parents were taking him to a doctor in a different country in hopes of being able to treat him. Nagito was sitting on a street corner waiting as some of the servants packed up the car for their plane trip, when he notices a little boy with the greenest eyes and the oddest cowlick crying on the other side of the street. When he goes up to the child to ask what's wrong, he sees the big scrape on his knee, and the busted skateboard lying next to him. Nagito offers a hand to him. "Komaeda Nagito. Need some help?" He says with a smile that wasn't yet tainted with anxiety and despair. The kid crying grabs the hand, still bursting at the seams with his tears, and manages to say "H-hinata Hajime." in a shaky voice. When Hajime's taken inside for a glass of water and bandages, and is able to talk in a less shaky voice, they make a fond promise to hang out when Nagito gets back.

When Nagito gets back from the "trip", Hajime is in absolute shock. This sweet kid who helped him without hesitation had to deal with all this... terrible luck. Hajime does his best to look up ways to feel better, gets a bucket of a water and a handful of chocolates ( drinking water can help stop crying and chocolate can give ranged waves of dopamine [if I remember right]- Hajime doesn't know what dopamine means but it was on a site to help sadness and shit and he's just doin his best), and heads to Nagito's house. He's allowed in, and when he eventually finds Nagito curled up in the corner of his room, he stupidly drops the bucket and chocolates in front of him with a grin. Nagito responds by crawling over to him and crying on his shoulder for seemingly hours, and Hajime lets him.

Nagito was glad he had someone who wouldn't judge him for his "good luck" now.

( afterwards, Nagito says that it was alright, that he heard the servants talking about how it was good luck, since he inherited a large estate, and Hajime says he heard his parents say the same thing, and they both agree that it must have been good luck, since everyone else said so, despite the countless bruises and tears that it caused. Neither of them realize that their views on luck were permanently obscured since then.)

They grow closer after that, and don't seperate once, not as they grow older, not as life beats Nagito inwards which each traumatic event and curls into his beliefs of hope, despair, and talent, not as Hajime realizes he can't save Nagito from himself. Which each day, they grow closer and closer to the hip, practically seamed to each other.

That is, until Hope's Peak academy came into the picture. Nagito and Hajime immediately jumped for whatever chance they had to get in (both reasons are personal, but more tied to the character- Nagito still desires to be amongst the greatest, while Hajime still desires to be remembered [mostly by Nagito, though he doesn't entirely realize that's why].), but when they're still separated by the two courses, that's ywhere the problem lies. You see, Nagito is still an insensitive dumbfuck that doesn't realize how his words affect other people, and when he keeps actively degrading the reserve course students even in front of Hajime, it takes a toll. Hajime starts believing that Nagito hates him because of his status as a reserve course student now, and between the pressure of all the bullshit that happens to him because of his status and now this bs drama, he's willing to pay a price for his affection once again. A price that'll be much too permanent for either's liking.

This is where I add the Kamakura project in. I'm sorry for this upcoming angst shit but I always find my way back here.

When Hajime is presented the Kamakura project, he thinks about being able to join Nagito in the talent course and that Nagito won't be hate him for it anymore. He thinks of Nagito showering him with hugs and praise for finally being able to join him and his classmates. He thinks of the joy it'll bring to Nagito and his parents- but mostly Nagito. He thinks of Nagito, Nagito, Nagito as he signs his name. He didn't think he'd be shoved into a pod. He didn't think he wouldn't be able to see Nagito ever again. As he dies, he thinks about the little boy who offered his hand to him when his other friends left. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. Izuru is born thinking of this boy, and it sticks. Nagito, Nagito, Nagito. He doesn't stop thinking of him, even when Enoshima and Ikusaba appeared with their proposition of despair (a part of him told him to not do it, let Nagito keep his hope, this man he couldn't remember), even when Chiaki dies in front of him (he feels... guilty, about her death, but not exactly sorrow. he wonders if he'd feel this way if the sheep man died.).

Nagito realizes who Izuru was when he turned around to aim at him. He saw the cold, dead eyes of this man, and for a moment he saw the boy who remembered him and brought him water and chocolate to help him feel better. The one person Nagito thought couldn't be affected by his luck was gone now. This was how Nagito fell into despair.

They generally stayed together for most of the apocalypse, still attached to the hip, although it was... different now. There were no more subconscious handholding moments as they traveled through the streets. There was no more trying to stop Servant from berating himself. There was no more helping Hinata's injuries. No more ice cream "dates". No more... love, in their presence.

Izuru tells Servant about his plan as they sit together on the boat to Jabberwock. Servant is sitting in the other's lap, stroking their hair as they speak. He responds with expressing his excitement, and Izuru feels a wave of guilt wash over him, though he drowns it out immediately.

Hajime wakes up to see his best friend standing over him. "Hey, Hajime, are you alright?" Nagito says, with a smile tainted with fear and despair as he offers his hand to help him up. Hajime briefly feels a sense of Deja vu, and grabs the offered hand.

(I keep making these too long dkckakkflakfkalfk f u c k)

sobs.........every time you get to the kamukura project i just brace myself bc it hurts like hell 100% of the time without fail......but ahhhhhhh i love this.......

for a moment i thought this was gonna be childhood friends and mastermind komaeda and i nearly had a heart attack?? mmm i’m still buzzing with the ideas but i’ll put it under the cut

just like. hajime finding comfort in having at least one person to rely on in this bizarre situation. komaeda really does ground him, he realizes, but that stability seems to crumble beneath him during that first trial. watching nagito, someone he thought he knew so well, reveal that he had been the one behind this elaborate plan to get himself or someone else killed? there’s no way hajime could okay after that, no way he could look at him the same way.

and he doesn’t, but he doesn’t look at him completely differently either. this komaeda, someone who’s unstable and actively looks forward to the next murder, is still komaeda. he’s still the same guy who goes through whole novels like they’re picture books, who pokes at his food at meal times and has to be nagged at to eat. he’s still nagito. and even if he wanted to, hajime couldn’t find it in himself to just ditch the guy he grew up with for all those years.

so, he reaches out again. gets to know his childhood friend for a second time, relearning his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes. even discovers some things he never noticed before. in a way, they were driven apart, but also brought back together again.

and that’s part of the reason it’s such a shock to see komaeda in monokuma’s place during that last trial, grinning down at them. he looks and sounds like nagito, but he couldn’t be him. someone who put them through all this couldn’t be that same boy who helped him when he fell off his skateboard all those years ago......right?

all of this information, from the world being a simulation to his childhood friend being the one to basically kill all of their classmates, it all throws him off. not to mention that he might not even exist outside of this program. choosing between staying with someone who betrayed him twice over or disappearing entirely........can he even make a decision like that?

[nyomjoong]

Bye, My first...

☆ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : Huang Renjun x reader

☆ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 : 3.7k

☆ 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: predebut!renjun idol!renjun angst (???), friends to strangers au

☆ 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 : You and Renjun were best friends since diapers, you were inseparable, where one was the other followed close by. You were each other's first best friends, the first person you ran to when you had trouble, the first person you'd invite out. He was the first person to ever hear good news and bad news. You were so close that people around you think you're dating but this wasn't the case, you and Renjun were best friends, the love you had for each other were only platonic. You thought you and Renjun were going to be together forever… but that wasn't the case.

S/N : I recommend listing to Goodbye and Stupid sorry by The Boyz when reading :))

Huang Renjun was your best friend ever since you can remember, He was your playmate since you were a toddler, Renjun was always your partner for projects you had. He was always the person you ran to when you had problems, he was always the person you'd ask if you needed help. He'd be the first person to know of the good, the bad and the ugly. You were that person for Renjun too. Though you and Renjun had other friends, you both would always choose to be with each other's company. You knew he would be the one person in your life that wouldn't leave you, you knew that he would be the one person to always love and support you no matter what. You confidently know that he would always be by your side no matter what. Through thick and thin you knew you'd be okay because you knew he'd be by your side. 

One night during your last year in middle school, you were over at Renjun’s house watching some tv, you suddenly started to wonder about the future; you wondered about what you wanted to do for the rest of your life, you hadn't thought about it properly so you asked Renjun what he wanted to do to which he replied with much determination “I want to be an idol.” you'd heard his singing voice a million times, admittedly it was beautiful. But you were still taken aback by his statement. “You want to be a singer?” “Idol,” he corrected “but yeah, I want to make people happy when they hear my voice, I want to give happiness to people.” Renjun said with much enthusiasm. Determined to help your best friend achieve his aspiration you immediately took out your laptop.

With a puzzled look on his face, Renjun asked: “What are you doing?”

“I'm looking for audition dates dumbass!” you said looking at your computer with purpose. 

Now sitting beside you, Renjun’s smile grows wider and wider. Upon seeing this you're fueled with motivation and energy and so was he.

You two began to research for audition dates from different companies. Both of you spent hours scouring the net for entertainment companies auditions and marking your calendars. The very next day you found a studio in which Renjun can practice in. With all this in place, Renjun and you were left to practice and wait for the audition dates to come.  

Each time when audition days arrived you were always with him, comforting, supporting and encouraging him as best you can. And after the auditions, more often than not, you treat him for bubble tea or a snack. You kept on searching, he kept on going to the auditions but unfortunately time and time again he was rejected. Because of this, Renjuns' confidence started to lower, you can see why this would happen and you felt bad for him but you knew that he was going to succeed one day. You couldn't help but feel hopeless in times like this. You wished you could do more for him but all you could do was encourage him. 

During the times where he felt less than others, you cheered him on and gave him the confidence he needed. “Renjun, you're an amazing and talented singer! You can't just give up on your dreams...” 

“Y/n, i’ve auditioned for so many companies, and none of them called me back, I'm not cut out for this...” Renjun said while looking down on your carpeted floor. From your bed you went down on the floor and sat beside him

“Injun,” you said as gently as you can while holding his hand “just because these companies didn't call you back doesn't mean you're not good enough, we just have to try a little bit more and push a little harder.” you searched his eyes “Huang Renjun if there is a person in this world that deserves to have their voice heard, it's you” Renjun slowly smiles at you, “Thank you y/n, I really needed that”

One night while browsing you saw an ad saying that there was going to be an open audition for SM Entertainment. You immediately called Renjun to let him know but he was reluctant to go since he was rejected all these times and because of the fact that he felt that he wasn't good enough for this company, but you convinced Renjun to go and pursue his dreams no matter what. 

On the day of the audition, you both made your way to the audition venue, just before it was his turn, you gave him an encouraging hug and quietly whispered break a leg. As he was performing you waited outside for him probably more anxious than he was. When he came out you immediately hugged him and praised him then you treated him out for food and a movie. For the next week or so you and Renjun waited anxiously for the call. You were patient with it but the longer the wait became Renjun began to feel discouraged, his confidence was depleting during these times you encouraged him and gave him the confidence he needed to stay strong. 

After 3 long weeks of waiting for the call, you lie awake in your room hoping and praying that he does get into. Miraculously, the next day as you stepped into the class you were attacked by Renjun hugging you, you wondered why he was in a good mood then it dawned on you, “I got accepted y/n! Thank you so much! I owe you!” He said with so much enthusiasm, you were so happy for your best friend you began to tear up. During lunch, while sitting on your usual table, Renjun began to tell you how the phone call went and how he felt when he finally got accepted. 

“I was so freaking happy y/n. I never could have imagined that I would be accepted as an Sm trainee”

“Renjun! I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it” you rejoiced with Renjun. Soon after that, Renjun told you that his training period would start after the school year ended. You felt a pang on your chest ‘so soon?’  You had thought.

That night you were in your bed thinking about how Renjuns life is going to change and what being a trainee would be like and how you'd fit into his life then, you always had a place in the life of your childhood friend Huang Renjun life but how would you fit in the life of SM trainee Huang Renjun? You texted Renjun about your concerns.

You heard a loud ping from your phone, it was a message from Renjun. It reads “y/n… you're my best friend, you'll always have a place in my life and especially in my heart.  Just because I'm going to be a trainee doesn't change anything between us. I promise that I'll always make time for you and talk to you, tell you how my day went and you'll tell me about yours. It will feel like I'm there with you. y/n you're important to me, I wouldn't forget about you. You've been with me through thick and thin, how could I ever forget you?” his words reassured you, you were his best friend and he was yours, you will always have a place in each other's hearts. With your worries replaced by the warm words of Renjun, you slowly drifted off to sleep. 

“y/n, have you started reviewing for your exams yet?” one of your other friends had asked to which you shake your head “No I didn't.” The school year was coming to an end, which means the start of Renjuns trainee days was about to begin. You look ahead of you to see Renjun talking to a small group of boys, it was going to be a tough time after he leaves for Korea. It’ll definitely be different without him around. 

 A lot of things were going to change soon and very fast too. Though you were happy for him, you felt kind of sad getting left behind, you were going to miss your best friend so much. Realizing how selfish you sounded in your head and decided to push these negative feelings aside. You were going to give Renjun all the support he needs. 

Exams were done at this point.  There were only 2 weeks of school left, there are only 2 more weeks until Renjun goes. As sad as it will be to see him go, he was reaping the fruits of his effort, for all the time he stayed up searching for auditions, all those times he stayed out late to practice and all the times Renjun got rejected, this was the one that made it all worth it. Renjun getting into Sm entertainment made it all worth it. 

As sad as it was to see him go you knew that you knew that you had no right to stop him. As much as it hurts to see the person whom you've had beside your whole life go, it was his dream. As sad as it was, you knew you'd see him soon, not beside you but on the big screen where his voice will reach across the ocean. You'd hear from him soon but not from he himself but from the lips of several fans, from their tweets and posts. You'll hear his voice soon, not from a shitty coin karaoke speaker but from loud booming speakers, the ones on big stadiums. Soon, you'll see him. Not as your childhood friend Huang Renjun but as an idol whose voice moves people to tears. Not as your childhood friend Huang Renjun but as a person who inspired and saved others using his tear-jerking voice. You will soon see powerful, elegant and breathtaking idol Huang Renjun.

As your days with Renjun are numbered, you decide that you weren't going to sulk and think of the negatives, instead, you were going to celebrate each day you have with Renjun. On these last days, you decide to enjoy his company as much as you can. On each day of his last week with you,  both of you went to different places that meant the world to both of you. 

Monday after school you went to the old playground where you two had often played, then on Tuesday, you went to the movies to see Endgame. On Wednesday you went to the karaoke bar that gave birth to Renjuns love for singing. Thursday, you two went to the mall to get new clothes and of course boba. Today was your treat after you got your drinks you proposed a toast said: “To the future idol, Huang Renjun” then both toast just before you sip your drink, then you exchanged smiles.  Then Thursday the small bubble tea place four blocks down your place where you and Renjun often visited after his auditions. Friday you went to the amusement park, riding all the rides you hadn't gotten the chance to go on. And finally, on the weekend you spent over at Renjuns house playing video games with him, doing his hair, putting makeup on him; you were enjoying his company in his house for the last time in a long while. That night as you were about to sleep, you cuddled up next to Renjun and hugged him tightly. Usually, Renjun would have pushed you off by now but this time- this time he returned the tight hug. You looked up, or at least tried to, but he covered your eyes and told you to sleep. You stared back down at his chest burying your head. 

You were really going to miss him...

What you didn't know was that Renjun was tearing up, he was scared. He was scared that all your efforts were in vain. All the nights you spent searching for audition dates from him, all the words of encouragement you showered him when his motivation was wilting away. He was afraid that he’d leave his best friend all for nothing. He was afraid that he was going to come back and tell you that your efforts were in vain because he wasn't good enough. Throughout this whole time he was with you, you helped him start the process of making his own road, but from tomorrow onwards, he was all on his own, without you. As his head fills with so much worry and uncertainty, you quietly whispered, “You're going to be okay Injunnie, I know you can do this” as if you can read his mind. “You're going to do so well. I know it” you finally said before drifting off to sleep. Soon after, so did he after all, tomorrow is the big day.

At long last it was D-day, later today Huang Renjun officially becomes a trainee. You were hanging out in his room with Renjun while waiting for the cab he called. You were in his desk area on his spinny chair while he was on the other side of the room on his bed. He was on his phone probably saying bye to everyone. And you- you were awkwardly spinning on his chair staring at every inch of his room. It wasn't that you didn't know what his room looked like, you were, for a lack of a better word, bored. Maybe even nervous. 

It was completely silent. Neither one of you knew what to say, Huang Renjun was good at most things but saying goodbye was something he was not good at and neither were you. Breaking the silence you said “Renjun, call and text me please?” as you mockingly pouted at him. 

Renjun obviously cringed as he basically shriveled up in front of you (you did too) “yeah yeah,” he said dismissively “I'll call and text you,  just don't do that.”

“You just pointed at all of me.” 

“Exactly.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. Renjun got up then went towards you, you kind of panicked but he suddenly pulls you into a tight hug “ill miss you y/n, so much.” just then you felt yourself about to tear up. But instead of letting tears escape your eyes you hugged him as tight as he was hugging you “Take care of yourself, don't skip meals.” he said, you nodded “you too, no skipping meals. Don't push yourself too hard” Renjun let Go of your embrace. He opened his mouth to counteract your comment but you cut him off “shut the fuck up, i know damn well you're gonna over yourself.” you both exchanged soft glances. Buried behind the soft glances were many many unspoken words between the two of you. Somewhere deep inside, you both knew that your lives were going to go separately and that the paths you both decided to take might never cross again. Along this path, you might only spare each other simple glance, perhaps a simple smile and a wave. Although, neither you nor Renjun was ready to face that reality though, not just yet. For now, you were going to spend your last moments with your childhood friend Renjun.  

 The taxi arrived which meant that It was finally time for him to go, you were sad that he was leaving you but you were also proud that he is able to achieve his dreams. The path he chose to take was not an easy one, it was a path filled with uncertainty. With a final wave of goodbye, you saw the yellow taxi drive off in the distance in  it was Huang Renjun, your best friend and Huang Renjun the SM trainee. 

Ever since Renjun got into SM entertainment your time with him was limited. During the first few months of him being a trainee, you’d talk and text for quite a while right after he’s done his training for the day. “Y/n! There are so many talented people here! There's this one guy named Jongin! He's super talented at dancing and this other kid named Donghyuck is so weird! They’re all so talented and hardworking.” The way he talked about the people in SM really shows how he adored being there. “Ah! Today I met this Taeyong dude and Phew! He's something else.” you smiled towards yourself. You were glad he was having a good time there. Although sometimes he was gloomy when you guys talk, he’d try to sound like he was happy but you knew from his tone, even though the phone, that something was wrong. “Hi, Y/n!” he said over enthusiastically. It was just a thing he did, he over exaggerates his tone to cover up the fact that he was unhappy but you'd always called him out on his bullshit, sometimes. This was one of those times, “Cut the crap, what's wrong? Talk to me.” you'd said. Right then and there, he started to sob. “I feel like I'm not good enough, i'm so sorry that I'm disappointing you. I wasn't worth your effort” you'd listen to him vent and sob then you'd comfort him. “You were absolutely worth all the effort and you're more than enough. Just push a little harder, prove them wrong Renjun. Prove to them that you're a brave and powerful singer. Prove to them that you belong on stage.” 

Even if you're kilometers apart you were still together in away. He’d ask about your day in school and how everyone was doing. You'd tell him in great detail how the day was so that he feels he was experiencing the day like he was with you. At some point, you even started to take notes and jot down what happened throughout the day just so you and he have something to talk about. Even if your days and his were extremely repetitive and for the most part mundane on your part, you'd still have so much fun telling him about the drama that went on in class. Calling and texting him was the highlight of your day.

Though you describe your day as perfect and “normal”, it was quite easy to say that your days felt even more empty without your best friend. Though you try to keep yourself busy to take the feeling of loneliness away, your efforts were futile. It wasn't the same without Renjun around. Though you call and text almost every night it still wasn't the same as having him around in your classes. School got boring and uninteresting pretty quickly. As the months go by the loneliness slowly fades, maybe not fade, but maybe you got used to the feeling of it. 

Within those few months, the time you called and texted with Renjun became less and less. You can't say you didn't expect this, you can't really say you didn't mentally prepare yourself for this either because you did. You really tried to prepare yourself for the time where you and your childhood best friend Renjun finally parted, you even though about the last words you wanted to say to him. You were prepared to let him go. 

You thought you were at least. 

When it actually happened, to no one but yourselves surprise, it hurt… a lot . It hit like 7 hundred bricks. It was an awful feeling. At this point, it was almost a year and a half since Renjun was in Sm. You didn't expect to part ways so soon. He hasn't text you for almost 2 months now and you haven't texted him either because he hasn't responded to your previous text yet and you didn't want to annoy him. Nor did you want to disturb his rest so you just let him be. Slowly you accepted the fact that he would no longer be in your life but for the next few weeks, you kept an eye on your phone just in case he texted and replied to you. But he didn't. No text, no calls, no nothing.  Despite this, you still missed him so much. 

Another semester came and gone, 

Once school came around, you felt a little empty but soon you met new people, made new friends and developed different relationships with people, you’d even gotten a significant other. As time went on the time you guys talked on the phone and texted became less than, altogether had stopped talking. This really didn't surprise you, you knew you'd stopped talking eventually… but it did hurt a lot. 

It was 5 years and a bit since he’d entered Sm and almost 2 and a half years since you and Renjun lost touch, you were lying on your bed staring mindlessly at different objects in your bedroom when your eyes caught on the picture of you and Renjun from your kindergarten days, you had a rock in your hands showing it off while Renjun had a peace sign thrown up. 

“Injunnie,’ the little you ran to him on the other side of the sandpit “look what I found.” you opened up your little hands to reveal a shiny rock you dug up. His eyes shine and lit up “Y/n,  You found the treasure!” you both ran hand in hand to your daycare teacher and showed her. She’d taken a photo upon your request, it was so that you can remember the day you and he found the sacred buried treasure in the sandpit. 

you happened to catch yourself reminiscing about all the times you and Renjun had together, the numerous moments you had together were engraved in your memory, never to be forgotten and always treasured. Never was it a dull moment with Huang Renjun, he was a bombshell of a person, always so enthusiastic and was always the one to make the mood. There really was no one in your life like Renjun. He was, in a nutshell, your most favorite person to be with. 

In the midst of reminiscing, as if some higher being knew the state you were in, you hear a familiar voice. One that you always listened to. One that you're familiar with. You turned to look around you to see where this voice was coming from. It was emanating from a little store at the corner.  

You silently looked at the small tv store across the street, it was him, Huang Renjun your best friend turned idol’s debut song. You smile joyfully brimming with happiness for your friend. it was time for you to let go of the past and move forward, just like he did. it was now your time to chase your dreams, like he did. With one last glance at the tv, you finally accepted the fact that your paths will not meet anytime soon. Parting ways you whispered to yourself “bye my first...

________________________________________________________

bcalsdk this is my first time doing anything thats somewhat angsty lol... tbh i wasnt supposed to publish this fic but my friend convinced me to upload it so here we are! so let me know if it was good or not. 

stay hydrated kids 

-- zianne 

[weloveyou-3000]

I've never denied Tony has flaws. Hell, that's why I love him so much. He was the first most relatable character in this whole franchise. The MCU wouldn't exist without Iron Man so I am quite aware that Tony is a very popular character.

1. Yes. He's arrogant. With reason to be. Just about every superhero is arrogant to some degree. Natasha is arrogant, Stephen is arrogant (a character whom I also adore), Steve is arrogant, Rhodey, Thor, Peggy, Sam, Clint, Wanda, Fury, so on so forth. The point is that no one else seems to get their flaws continuously picked at like an infected scab.

2. I know he has narrassitic characteristics. There isn't a single person in existence that doesn't have at least one narcissistic trait. It's called being human.

3. When I wrote this I had just been attacked (again) by "Team Cap" fans that are still, how'd you put it? Butt hurt? Over Civil War. So excuse me for being human and needed to vent my frustration. People do that you know. It's the internet. If I wanna rant on a blog that I created then I have every right to. Do you lecture all the other people on this site for expressing their irritation?

4. I do critically analyze these movies. As I have done with the comic books as well. And watching these movies it's obvious to see that Tony's issues go completely willfully ignored. SHIELD knew Tony was dying and yet instead of stepping in to help right away, they set up a honey pot operation (also commiting corporate espionage) to psyche eval a man dying of metal poisoning. Did you know one of the symptoms of metal poisoning is erratic behaviour? Instead of taking this into account, they call him reckless. Fury knew Howard Stark, he would've known the man had little patience for his son, and it's canonically proven that Howard did abuse Tony, but instead of taking into account the symptoms of long term emotional abuse, and bouts of physical abuse that occured, they also choose to ignore that.

As a person who has suffered from emotional abuse throughout my childhood it does indeed make me angry that it's being glossed over and treated like it didn't fuck this guy up. I still struggle with issues because of this and for it to be brushed aside is ridiculous.

It may seem stupid to someone like you, or like it's just a stupid movie and I should "get over it already" and stop projecting, but the straight up manipulation is infuriating. I've fought very hard to not let myself fall into the headspace where all someone has to do is show a tiny speck of approval and I'll do anything for them. Seeing a character I've grown up with and adore be manipulated like that brings up very dark feelings.

But I'm oh so sorry if my frustration offends you. I mean really, what was I thinking? Using the only outlet I have to get rid of all the negativity I have to repress in real life? Shame on me for thinking that I can use a platform for expression to, you know, express myself.

The only thing you fight for is yourself.