#i still think we should shut up about dumb fandom bullshit and just enjoy things sincerely

[wedding-shemp]

Aw shit. I just realize that if I ever decide to drunkenly start a fight about Star Wars again the other person could very easily retaliate with "aren't you that bitch with the obnoxiously popular post about how Star Wars discourse is dumb?" And THEY'LL BE RIGHT.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - “Rapunzel Knows Best!” ( A first half of S3 Recap)

So I decided to place the recap after Be Very Afraid for several reasons. For starters it’s where the season three hiatus took place. It’s also framed like a cliffhanger episode the same as The Great Tree and Queen for a Day; so while Cassandra’s Revenge is technically the midseason finale, Be Very Afraid functionally servers this narrative purpose better. Finally I want to keep the Cassandra heavy stuff contained in it’s own recap later same as I did for Varian’s arc in season one. 

Also keep in mind, everything I discussed in previous recaps still apply here. Nothings changed and you could argue that the issues I bring up now could have also apply to past seasons; they just happen to be at their worst here. 

Here are the past recaps 

To Filler or Not to Filler

Hey, What Ever Happened to That Varitas, Guy?

What Is the Point?

‘Whatta Twist’

And here are the episodes that’s covered in this recap

Rapunzel’s Return Part 1

Rapunzel’s Return Part 2

Return of the King 

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

The Lost Treasure of Herz Der Sonne

No Time Like the Past

Beginnings 

The King and Queen of Hearts

Day of the Animals 

Be Very Afraid 

Poorly Defined Conflicts 

I’m not just talking about Cassandra’s lack of goals here either, though that is a part of it. I mean in several episodes the central conflict isn’t laid out clearly enough before being resolved.  We flip from one set up to the next without ever resolving the first; like in Rapunzel’s Return when Cass and Varian fight for screen time or whenever Rapunzel is suppose to learn one lesson only for someone else to learn a completely different lesson in every other episode. And to this day I don’t know what Rapunzel and Feldspar’s subplot in Lost Treasure was suppose to be about. 

There’s also of course the ill-defined overall conflict; which at this point has become convoluted and nonsensical to the extreme, and will only grow more aggravatingly stupid as the season progresses. The main villains lack clear goals, their motivations don’t align with previously stated facts, and the actual interesting conflict involving the threat of the rocks and their destruction of people’s lives and homes is just shoved under the rug and forgotten about.  

There is no story without conflict. Having the conflict be all over the place is not only confusing but makes it harder for the audience to invest in what’s going on. 

Failed Narrative Promises 

Tying in with the above statement regarding conflicts, we have failed narrative promises. Rapunzel is repeatedly told to that she needs to learn something in several episodes only for her not to learn it at all. She either learns some unrelated ‘lesson’ that wasn’t established, (like in Rapunzel’s Return with her pervious goal about ‘opening up to others’ being switched out for a generic ‘responsibility’ lesson that at the last minute, where she doesn’t even do anything responsible,) or she winds up ‘teaching’ the opposite lesson to a different character thereby rewarding her for her bad behavior.   

And that’s just within the induvial episodes themselves; there’s also broken narrative promises through out the overall story arc; like...

no justice/redemption for Lady Caine, 

no acknowledgment that the Saporians are the victims of colonization

no conclusion regarding Corona’s murky past

no satisfying ending to Varian’s plot that sees everyone in involve grow

a poor copout of an explanation for Cassandra’s face/heel turn

The Dark Prince reveal going nowhere 

The Brotherhood being put on a bus 

King Frederic, or any royal, not being held accountable for their past actions 

Lance’s new found responsibilities just being thrown away for the tenth time 

The Disciples plot being being dropped 

next to nothing in season two winds up being relevant 

And Rapunzel, the protagonist of a coming of age story, fails to learn anything at all 

I could probably go on but you get the gist. Tangled is incredibly frustrating show to watch because doesn’t deliver what it promises. You’re not being clever by ‘subverting audiences expectations’ unless you can justify your narrative decisions with previous set up. Tangled is too lazy to build proper set ups so it’s ‘twists’ leave you wanting to punch things rather then impressing you. 

Character Assassinations 

Every single character in Tangled the Series gets thrown under a bus, driven off a cliff, and then allowed to drown in the ocean of their completely unaware self-congratulatory smugness.  

Rapunzel is turned into a bully

Cassandra is given the idiot ball to hold permanently 

The King and Queen are lobotomized

Quinin gets replaced by a robot  

The rest of the Brotherhood are pale shadows of what they could have been 

Edmund is transformed from tragic complex figure into a dumb jerkoff who abuses his kid for a laugh 

Zhan Tiri, once an ancient demon warlock, is reduced to a floating impotent ghost girl 

The Saporians become poor hipster parodies

Cap is put on a bus

Any villain who isn’t Cass is gets ignored

Lance is infantilized to the point of absurdity

Eugene becomes a doormat 

and poor Varian is forced to become a complacent victim to his abusers as oppose to being allowed to keeping his dignity 

I think the only person who escapes this mass murder of characterization is freaking Calliope, and she’s hasn’t even appeared yet! (Well okay her and Trevor, maybe) 

This all ties back into the poorly defined conflict and failed narrative promises. Rather than let the characters drive the story, they’ve become puppets to the plot, and plot is really stupid and forced, and circles back in on itself and is full of contradictions. 

Manipulating the Audience’s Empathy to Do the Work for the Writers  

The reason why the creators believe they can get away with such poor characterization and lazy writing is because they expect the audience to do all the heavy lifting for them.  

Cass isn’t given an on screen reason for what she does because they’re hoping her fans will just automatically excuse her because they like her/relate to her and not, you know, get mad at the writers for dumbing her down. And after all who doesn’t love the creator’s pet? Meanies! That’s who! 

No one calls out Rapunzel’s bullshit on screen, because if everyone likes her, then you, viewing audience, should too. Because if you have any sort of independent critical thinking abilities and a sense of right and wrong then clearly you’re ‘just a hater’. 

Everyone should just shut up and be satisfied that Varian is even on screen now and be grateful for the scraps that they get cause he’s not the real point of the show and according to Chris ‘Varian fans aren’t real fans’. Even though they make up most of his viewing audience. 

I could go on, but it’s just variations of the above. The writing in this series is very fond of gaslighting the audience and trying to trick them into justifying the absolute worst behaviors while desperately hoping they doesn’t noticed the continued downgrading and dismissal of characters they do like or once liked.  

And the sad thing is, it’s worked. There are people to this day that still try to justify this show’s shitty morals and bend over backwards to excuse the likes of Rapunzel, Frederic, Cassandra, and Edmund.  Worst, there are loud sections of the fandom, (usually on twitter) who think bullying is okay and follow in Chris and his characters footsteps. Most of them young impressionable girls who are now ripe for TREFS to indoctrinate because they use the same bullying tactics and excuses for authoritarianism. 

Media does effect reality, but not in the way purists and antis would have you believe. No one is going to become a violent manic from playing a video game nor a sex offender because they read a smut fic. But they very much will conform to toxic beliefs if it’s repeated enough at them by authorities they ‘trust’; like say the world wide leading company known for family entertainment and children’s media, and the ‘friends’ they find within the fandom for said company... 

I’m not saying you can’t enjoy Tangled the series or that you’re some how wrong for liking it’s characters, nor do you have to engage with every or any criticism thrown it’s way. But yes you need to think about the media you consume on some level and valid criticism is very much important to the fandom experience for precisely the above reasons. 

Conclusion    

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg of what’s wrong with this show, but it is most of its biggest problems laid bare. Anything that haven’t covered here or in the past recaps will be explored in the final recap. Cause this is it folks; the last leg of the journey for this retrospective. When come back, hopefully next week, we’ll tackle Pascal’s Dragon.  

[studiobeebo]

~♡ Winter Warmth ♡~

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 2.1K

Genre: warm and soft like mash potato. 

A/N: has this trope of sharing winter clothes been done a million times? yes. will that stop me? no.

as per usual, reblogs are the best way to get my works around since tags tend to be unreliable so they’re greatly appreciated! enjoy!

“You didn’t bring a scarf. Or a hat. Or anything.”

Your current ‘mission’ partner’s characteristically irritated tone broke you out of your current daze as you shifted your eyes towards him as the two of you walked side by side, close enough that it was clear the two of you were at least friends, but not so close that things were...weird.

“Oh, no..” You hummed, a puff of steam escaping with your words and just as soon evaporating into the cold winter air. “To be honest I didn’t think it would be this cold. Oh- but it’s not that bad, no worries.”

He looked at you for a second before shrugging and facing forward once again, the previous silence between the two of you settling back in as your eyes drifted back to your right where rows and rows of shop windows twinkled with Christmas lights and other inviting decorations. 

See, the so called ‘mission’ the two of you had been sent on wasn’t really a mission at all, it was more like an errand to satisfy everyone back at school’s ‘urgent’ need for a variety of coffees, hot chocolate’s, and tea lattes, which didn’t sound like much, however your oh so gracious sensei insisted you go to this very specific cafe that was about a half an hour walk away instead of the one that was barely a ten minute walk away. Fushiguro seemed particularly annoyed with that, but then again, when wasn’t he annoyed by one thing or another.

The only thing was that you assumed he was bothered because Gojō had made yet another needlessly difficult request of him, however while he was annoyed with Gojō , that wasn’t exactly the reason why. The reason he was particularly peeved was because his teacher said the two of you just haaad to go together. “It’s safer that way.” , he said “Treat it like a mission!”, he said.

Bullshit. 

Gojō was testing him on something even he didn’t want to think about, let alone admit to. Fushiguro told him one thing, ONE THING about you, just an off handed comment on how much you had improved using your cursed technique in such a short amount of time, and that’s all it took for Gojō to give him that fucking look. At least, Fushiguro thought it was only one thing, but the more Gojō started making little comments about the two of them, about how he thinks they’d be sooo cute together, he realized that maybe he had been unconsciously talking about you more than he thought. That was true too, but he wasn’t one for much talk and the little that he did say wasn’t enough to tip Gojō or anyone else off about his apparent interest in you. As it turns out, the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ is true, and that’s especially so for someone as observant as Gojō is.

He saw all the little things that most people probably didn’t have a second thought about, but he had known Megumi for a long time now so to him, his actions were clear as day. The little touches on your shoulder to gently move you out of the way, the way he would tend to gravitate towards you whenever all of you first years were on missions together, how distracted he’d be if you had a bit of a hard time fighting off a curse. Gojō could go on and on about the tiny ways Megumi treated you better, with more care, than anyone else, but he chose not to pester him too aggressively. He knew if he did that, Megumi would shut him down just as aggressively and dig deeper into the denial about his feelings for you. So instead, Gojō pushed him in little ways, like teaming you two together for training practices and in this case, sending you out together to get drinks.

Megumi knew that of course, that Gojō was messing with him, but man was it hard to say no when your face lit up and you exclaimed that you could actually go for a hot chocolate. So now here you were, walking side by side in silence that was currently doing nothing but make him overthink. Should he say something? Would that be weird? Or were you off put by the fact that he wasn’t saying anything? All the while he had that usual grumpy look on his face that was really just one of concentration, but you didn’t take it to heart regardless. You had known him long enough now to know that even when he did look upset, he kind of just had a resting grumpy face and it didn’t necessarily mean anything. Still, you would admit that you were feeling a bit awkward.

You liked Fushiguro, maybe a tad bit more than what you admitted to your other friends, but while the two of you were friendly and worked just fine together, you had never really spent time alone with one another outside of school, and as you walked through the slightly crowded sidewalks you realized you didn’t really know how he felt about you. Sure you were associates and classmates, but did he see you in that way? Did he only tolerate you? Or maybe he was just indifferent, not thinking of you as much more or much less than someone he worked along side. Even though you didn’t have any answers to said questions, you couldn’t say you were nervous to be out with him. In fact it was kind of nice, even if you weren’t talking much, and you were okay with settling and just internally gushing about it to yourself. So you kept to yourself with a slight smile on your face, stopping for a second here or there when something in one of the shop windows caught your eye or to press your cold hands to your mouth and blow warm air onto them.

You had said you were fine, but the temperature seemed to keep dropping, and when you felt a small damp prickle of iciness on your nose you realized why. That one snowflake slowly turned to many as snow began to fall steadily from the sky, catching on your hair and jacket but melting as soon as it came in contact with your cheeks. 

“Pfft, no wonder it’s gotten so cold. I seriously thought we weren’t going to get any snow until later on in the season, right?” You asked, turning to him with a laugh as you rubbed your arms as if that would do much to help through your coat. 

“Guess not.”, he said with another shrug. “Doesn’t look like it’ll stick though, we should be fine.”

He peered out of the corner of his eye at you, watching as you shoved your hands into your pockets and gave him a nod before looking up as you walked to watch the snow fall in a childlike awe. Something ticked in him, another one of those little irritating itches that he would get whenever you would do something like that. Something so simple, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away. That, and the irrational part of him that was currently screaming at him to do something stupid, an internal voice that was getting louder and louder with every fall of a snowflake and shiver of your shoulders until finally he just had to give in.

He let out an annoyed huff, not at you but at the fact that he felt so stupid and absurdly flustered as he unwrapped his scarf and took his gloves off, temporarily shoving them into one pocket as he stopped to lean over and wrap his scarf snuggly around your neck instead. You jumped a little in surprise as you tore your eyes from the sky and gave him a quizzical look, but before you could say anything a pair of gloves that were a little too big for you were shoved into your hands as well. 

“Oh, thank you but I’m really-“

“It’s fine.” He cut you off, but not in a mean way. You noticed the hint of pink on his cheeks, but surely that was due to the cold, right? He sighed again in an attempt to make himself feel a little less tense as he continued on in a more relaxed tone. “Seriously, I was getting too warm anyways.”

Now you really couldn’t help but smile as you gave him a small nod before slipping on both gloves. They were too big just like you thought, but warm, and the fuzziness bristling in your stomach seemed to help warm you up as well. You absent mindedly tugged his scarf a little closer around you as the the two of you began to walk again, and your own cheeks began to heat up a bit as you inhaled his scent. Though you couldn’t really pinpoint what it was, it was like a little not-so-gentle reminder that he really did just give you his scarf and gloves to wear. You tried not to let it get to you, he was just being nice and he said he was too warm anyways, but you still had to bite your inner cheek to keep yourself from smiling too wildly and risk him thinking you’re a total creep. 

“Thanks Megumi, I appreciate it.” 

Oh god no.

He thought he had steeled himself but that caused him to stop in his tracks, only for a moment or two, before his body went into self preservation mode and moved on its own, but the way his heart skipped a beat in response to something as dumb as you calling him by his first name for the first time was everything but calm and collected. Still, as much as he tried to keep even an ounce of what he was really feeling from showing on his features, it only took that little halt in his step for you to realize what you just said.

“Oh, shit- I’m sorry. That’s probably kind of weird for me to call you.”

“It’s fine.” He repeated the same words he had said only a few minutes ago, only this time he didn’t sound nearly as confident. Whatever was going on in his chest was not, in fact, fine, but what was he supposed to say? ‘You treating me like I’m a close friend seriously fucks with my doubts of having a thing for you’? For heaven’s sake he could take out a literal murderous demon in the blink of an eye but god forbid he try to keep his normally cool composure in front of who he now had to admit was his crush.

“If it really isn’t fine you don’t have to act like it is.” You laughed out awkwardly, still having trouble trying to read his features. 

He hated seeing that bit of doubt and worry in your eyes, enough so that he shoved what he was feeling down even if it was just long enough for him to give some reassurance that you referring to him so casually was actually more than just ‘fine’.

“I’m not ‘acting’. If it really bothered me I would say something about it. Trust me, I’ve gotten good at telling people off...” He grumbled, his mood slightly souring at the mere thought of what Gojō would do if he could see him now, with color tinting his cheeks and his brain scrambling for the right words to say which, judging by the short laugh you gave that was simply music to his ears, he had successfully done.

“True, true. Guess I’ll just have to stay on your good side then, yeah? Dunno if I could take it if you were actually mad at me.”

He scoffed and muttered in response as he trudged ahead of you.

“As if you would ever be on my bad side…”

“Hm?”

“I said ‘can we hurry up before it gets worse outside’. If we take much longer Gojō is going to start blowing up my phone.” 

You laughed and then smiled in a way that you could only imagine looked incredibly goofy as you stared at his back while he continued walking ahead of you, maybe just a tiny bit giddy that he was ok with you being a little more personal and less formal with him. Surely that meant the two of you were friends, right? Or maybe he could think of you as something more some day…

“Are you coming with?”

“Yeah, yeah!” You exclaimed, shaking your head and leaving those thoughts for another time in order to allow yourself to enjoy this moment as it was, warmed in the face of the winter chill by a cozy set of winter clothes and a fuzzy feeling in your heart.

[ilovefandoms102]

Part 12- Shape of My Heart*

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie​​​​​​​​​ @drewswannabegirl​​​​​​​​​ @sexualparkour​​​​​​​​ @teamnick​​​​​​​​​ @jiaraendgame​​​​​​​​​ @agirlwholovescoffee​​​​​​​​​ @outerbongs​​​​​​​​​ @jaxxandcomet​​​​​​​​​ @velyssaraptor​​​​​​​​​ @baby-pogue​​​​​​​​​ @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon​​​​​​​​​ @must-be-a-weasley-92​​​​​​​​​ @kaitieskidmore1​​​​​​​​​ @ma10427​​​​​​​​​ @ifilwtmfc​​​​​​​​​ @lasnaro​​​​​​​​​ @justcallmesams​​​​​​​​​ @judayyyw​​​​​​​​​ @lonely-kermit​​​​​​​​​ @gviosca​​​​​​​​​ @iamaunicorn4704​​​​​​​​​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​​​​​​​​ @fernweh-fangirl​​​​​​​​​ @runway-to-my-aid​​​​​​​​​ @eb15​​​​​​​​​ @hurricane-abigail​​​​​​​​​ @tangledinsparkles​​​​​​​​​ @fandom-phaser​​​​​​​​​ @sunwardsss​​​​​​​​​ @http-cherries​​​​​​​​​ @bibliophilewednesday​​​​​​​​​ @evaporatedrosepetals​​​​​​​​​ @thetomatosaucee​​​​​​​​​ @tomatosauceagent​​​​​​​​​ @redosmo​​​​​​​​​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​​​​​​​​ @obx-direction-sos​​​​​​​​ @mxltifandoms06​​​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​ @gracielou0518​​ @hannahhistorian92​​

Part 11 Part 13

Note: Hope you guys enjoy and as always let me know what you think!

ps if you don’t like choking or roughness during the dirty stuff just skip it. 18+

=============================

Soft kisses on my face caused me to stir the next morning...

I cracked an eye open to see Rudy, his eyes still having that sleepy look. He leaned to kiss my lips, pulling back to brush some hair out of my face. His hair was a mess, pointing out in every direction, but it was a good look on him. I leaned to stretch my arms and legs, moving to wrap myself around him. 

“I thought last night was a dream,” I mumbled, snuggling further into him.

“Me too honestly, as soon as the director said we were taking a break from filming for a while I hopped on a plane here. I couldn’t take another day without seeing your pretty face.” he smiled, chuckling when I hid my red face in his neck.

“I missed everyone, I...I don’t have a lot of friends here. You all are the only people I talk to.” I confessed.

“Bullshit, come on babe.” Rudy scoffed.

“No I...I’ve lost a lot of friends because of the way I look.” I murmured, memories of those awful times flooding my brain.

“Seriously? That’s insane, I couldn’t imagine looking at someone like ‘oh you’re a great friend and all but you look different so we can’t be friends’, like that’s fucking dumb.” he griped, pulling me tighter to him. 

“It’s alright, I don’t need anyone but you and our little group.” I sighed, kissing wherever my lips fell.

“I still hate that you had to go through that, it breaks my heart.” he admitted, nuzzling his face into my shoulder.

“It’s in the past now, I’ll be ok as long as I have you.” I spoke, combing my fingers through his bedhead. 

=========================================

I did have some school work I had to finish up today, but it still irked me that it was cutting into the limited time I had with Rudy. I was just finishing up when Rudy sat next to me, he had an anxious look on his face which made me panic.

"I want you to come to Alaska with me on your spring break, to meet my parents.” he blurted.

“I-I don’t know Ru, I don’t think they will like me.” I mumbled, nervously playing with my fingers.

“Of course they will, why would you think that?” he asked, looking at you quizzically. 

“Because I’m not...I’m not who a famous actor should be with. I’m an embarrassment.” I sighed, looking away from him.

“Stop that shit right now...my parents aren’t like that. Speaking of which, when do I get to meet yours?” he questioned, changing the subject.

“I don’t know, I don’t really talk to them...I’m kind of on my own.” I shrugged, Rudy looked at me with worry in his eyes.

“Baby...” he pouted, curling up next to me.

“What? Why are you pouting?” I chuckled, kissing his forehead.

“I don’t like the thought of you being on your own...” he muttered, placing his chin on my shoulder.

“I was a lone wolf until I met you all, I’ve always just kept to myself.” I said, shutting my laptop down.

“Were people really that mean?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, no one in this town is acceptable unless you have the ideal body type.” I shrugged, laying back so his head fell on my thighs.

“All sizes are beautiful, I hate that our society is like this. There shouldn’t be such a thing as an ‘ideal body type’,” he ranted, flipping over so he could look at me.

“I’m glad you think so babe.” I chuckled, my phone starting to ring.

“Hi y/n,” my mom said after I picked up.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” I asked.

“I was hoping maybe you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?” she inquired.

“Make an extra plate.” I murmured, looking down at Rudy who smiled.

“Who else is coming?” she wondered.

“My boyfriend.” I spoke nervously.

================================

I paced back and forth in my living room, ready to go to my parents. However, I was more nervous than ever and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not going to be a good night. Rudy looked good as ever, dressed in a black button down with khakis. I wore a tshirt dress my mom got me for my birthday a few years ago with some flats, keeping the hair and makeup low maintenance since it was just my parents.

“Baby why are you so stressed? It’s just your parents, we don’t have to stay long if it makes you that anxious.” Rudy said, trying to calm me down.

“I just have this really bad feeling...” I whispered, rubbing my arms.

Rudy stood from the couch, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my nose, making me giggle. 

“It’s going to be ok, what could possibly happen?” he questioned, pushing me lightly towards the door.

Boy how I wish he hadn’t of said that....

================================

I pulled into my childhood home, my hands already starting to shake. Rudy opened my door for me, taking my hand in his. He kissed the back of it, giving me a reassuring smile. My mother came out on the porch, smiling as she caught sight of us. Rudy smiled wide as my mother took him in a hug, introducing herself.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Rudy Pankow.” Rudy spoke, my mother moving so I could lead us inside.

Rudy and I sat at the table while my mom was finishing up dinner, my father yet to make an appearance. My leg bounced nervously, biting at my nails I stared at the table. Rudy grabbed my hand from my mouth, keeping it in his. He took his other hand to place it on my leg, his thumb rubbing gentle circles to soothe me. 

“Who’s this?” my father sneered, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment and anger.

“Rudy Pankow sir, it’s nice to meet you.” Rudy spoke, standing to shake my father’s hand.

“Are you one of y/n’s friends?” my father asked skeptically, shaking Rudy’s hand.

“Boyfriend actually,” Rudy smiled, looking at me adoringly. My mother entered the dining room, sitting the food on the table.

“Boyfriend? My y/n? HA yeah, maybe once she loses a few pounds.” my father chuckled, Rudy’s face falling. 

“Can we please have a nice dinner?” my mother said, staring daggers at my father.

My parents took their seats across from Rudy and I, scooping a helping on their plates. I picked around at my food, gripping Rudy’s hand tighter than I meant to. 

“So, y/n...when did this start?” my mom asked, pointing at Rudy and I.

“About two and a half months ago when I went to LA.” I answered, glancing up to see my father staring at me quizzically.

“Let me get this straight, this isn’t a joke? You actually like my daughter?” my father questioned, my mother hissing something to him.

“Um no, I’ve liked y/n for over a year before we even started dating. I don’t understand why you think y/n couldn’t be with me?” Rudy inquired, making my death grip on his hand somehow tighter.

“Well son, it’s no secret y/n is well...not exactly who people would picture you with.” my father answered.

“Why?” he asked.

“Rudy stop.” I whispered, but he shook his head at me.

“I guess if you’re going to make me say it, she’s fat.” my father shrugged, my heart clenching in my chest.

“You say that about your own daughter?” Rudy growled.

“Just speaking the truth.” my father said.

“If you were speaking the truth sir, you’d say that y/n is the most beautiful woman. You’d say any man would be lucky to have her because she is an incredible person, a person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Rudy rambled, making my eyes wide.

“What?” I whispered, my mother choked on her food.

“It’s um, a little soon to be talking about that don’t you think? Barely three months of dating and you want to spend forever together? It just seems a little impractical.” my mother pointed out.

“Rudy, let’s go.” I huffed, scooting my chair out.

“Y/n, sit back down.” my father griped.

I ignored them, stomping out of the house. I was fucking pissed at them for embarrassing me like that. I sat in my car as I waited for Rudy, on the verge of crying. Rudy came out a few minutes later, frowning as he got in the car with me.

“I’m sorry Ru,” I mumbled, laying my head on the steering wheel.

“Nothing to be sorry about. I wanted to punch the shit out of your dad though.” he admitted, shaking his head.

================================

“You know I really like that dress.” Rudy said as we got out of the car.

“Thanks,” I chuckled, walking into the apartment.

“I think it would look better on the floor though.” he suggested, my insides heating up. 

“Oh you do?” I asked, the sultriness in my voice shocking me.

“Take it off for me.” he demanded, unbuttoning a few buttons on his shirt.

I started to take it off, getting just above my undies before stopping. I walked to my room instead, kicking my shoes off. I heard loud footsteps behind me, excitement building in my belly. I gasped as Rudy took a hold of my arm, whirling me around to face him. His eyes grew a shade darker, making me squirm before him.

“Hmmm, that was not very nice.” he growled, his hand coming to wrap around my throat. I moaned, a smirk forming on his lips. 

He walked me back to the bed, throwing me roughly to a sitting position. He stripped me himself, pushing my chest so that I was laying down. Rudy yanked off my underwear, inserting his fingers into me. I gasped loudly, wiggling on the bed. He slapped my thigh, a low rumble came from deep in his chest.

“No noise, no moving. You move or make a sound, you don’t get to cum.” he barked, a whimper catching in my throat.

He stripped himself, getting on his knees. He buried his face into my heat, sucking and licking all around the places that made me tick the most. I had to bite down on my hand to keep from screaming, using all my willpower to keep my muscles still. Rudy inserted his tongue into me, flicking it around. His fingers came up to rub my clit, my teeth biting harder into my hand. 

I couldn’t hold it, I involuntarily let out a moan so loud I’m sure my neighbors heard. Rudy stopped immediately, tsking as he pulled away.

“You were doing so good baby,” he sighed.

“No Rudy don’t.” I whined, earning another slap to my thigh.

“I don’t take orders from you sweetheart.” he snapped, a whine leaving my throat.

He began to slowly and tortuously rub me, making my legs jump. He inserted his fingers at the same time, moving as slow as possible. I frustratedly moved on my bed, letting out a grunt. 

Then he began to move his fingers faster, pounding them into me. I yelped, my legs trying to close in on him. He held them back, laughing as I cried out to him. Just as I was about to cum, he stopped. My hips bucked from the bed, my fists hitting the mattress. 

Rudy grabbed my hips, flipping me over on my stomach. He jerked my hips up so that I was on all fours, my hands curled into my sheets nervously. He slapped my ass hard, a strangled yelp leaving my lips. He leaned down to slurp at the wetness seeping from me, my upper body almost collapsed on the bed. It was so hot, but it was also starting to make me wish I had just listened to him in the first place. 

He inserted his tongue into me again, shaking his head to bury his face deeper into me. The facial hair on his chin rubbed my clit, making me gasp loudly. 

“Baby please please let me cum, I’m sorry.” I moaned, feeling myself start to come close to the edge again.

He moved his tongue to swipe at my clit, taking it between his lips to suck on it. My legs started to shake as I came close to snapping, my breathing picking up before Rudy pulled away. I put my face in the sheets as I screamed in frustration. 

Rudy yanked me up by my hair, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

“You’ll get to cum when I want you to, if that is at all tonight.” he hummed deeply, his deep voice churning my insides. 

“Fuck,” I groaned, slamming my head back down.

He plunged his length inside of me, cursing as he came to grip my ass cheeks. Rudy moved his hands to hold my hips, sliding all the way before ramming himself back in. He did that a few times, a choked moan leaving my throat. I cried out when he began a to roughly thrust inside of me, grabbing a hold of my hair to keep my head up. 

The sound of skin slapping filled the room along with the pants and grunts from the two of us. He moved one hand to pinch my clit, a squeal leaving my lips as he began to rub it between his fingers.

“Do you think you deserve it pretty girl? Do you think you deserve to cum on me?” he gritted, his fingers burning my scalp as he yanked my head back further.

“Yes please baby, I can’t take it anymore. I need it, I want you to make me cum.” I whimpered, hoping that would spark a fire in him.

He pulled out, flipping me back over to my back. 

“I want to see your face when you scream who’s fucking you this good.” he growled.

And scream I did because Rudy plowed himself harder than before, angling our hips so that he could hit that special spot that had me shaking in a matter of seconds. I scratched at his shoulders, trickles of blood beginning to form on his tan skin. 

“Please let me cum, let me cum, let me cum.” I begged, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He brought his hand back to rub viciously at my clit, my back arching off the bed. My breathing became more labored, Rudy’s grunts becoming louder. 

“Ok baby, cum.” he spoke.

My eyes rolled back into my head as I came, my whole body locking up. Rudy shouted as I clamped down on his member, his hips stuttering as he stilled inside of me. Ropes of him jetted inside of me, but I was still coming down from my orgasm. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Rudy breathed, a breathy laugh left my lips.

“That was hot.” I panted, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

“I say we shower and do it again.” he smirked, pulling me off the bed.

“You are not torturing me like that again!” I shouted as he dragged me to my shower.

[snarkwrites]

14.12, all I want for Christmas is you, tim speedle

Title: all i want for christmas is you

Theme: songs/music.. i swear to god, this relates to it.

Fandom / Character(s):CSI Miami / Tim Speedle x OFC, ‘blondie’ is the nickname.

Warnings: Uhhh... Fluff to the max?

Word Count: uhh.. 1k-ish?, roughly.

NOTE: I think I tried 3 times to make this work. Then it finally did. This wasn’t even remotely close to the original idea I had for it? But like.. It’s cute and I’m happy, although I apologize if it feels rushed. This is meant to be a one shot type thing, but.. Doesn’t mean I didn’t catch the ‘must write more for CSI’ bug whilst writing it, so we shall see. This is my second story for bae @champbucks​ 12 Days Of Christmas challenge, fyi. I made the graphics thing so do NOT steal it / repost... Do ya’ll know how damn HARD it is to find good ‘beachy christmas’ blue themed christmas photos? because if you didn’t, take me at my word... Anyway. Enough rambling. Enjoy, hopefully?

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave​ is the only person on my CSI Miami tag list at the moment. However.. if you’d like to be tagged in my CSI writings, add yourself to the doc linked below or shoot me a message / dm on my main on here. :)

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

9:00 PM [ Blondie ] Hey, Tim?

9:15 PM [ Blondie ] How would you feel about spending Christmas with me? Well, me spending Christmas with you… because I’m kind of standing in Miami International…

I sent the texts and took a few seconds to stop and pull myself together. To locate some kind of map or information center for the airport while I collected myself because if I were being totally honest with myself, this was a spur of the moment decision brought on by a recent wave of nostalgia and longing. I hadn’t actually… Stopped to consider that Tim might be involved with someone or have plans already. Or any of the thousand other possibilities that chose just that exact moment to actually occur to me.

Taking a few shaky breaths, I tried to shove all these sudden doubts and worries out of my head. If I found out he was happy and with someone else, I’d simply shelve what I came all this way to actually tell him at last. I’d just catch up with my best friend and spend a few days away from the freezing cold of New York.

With an exit strategy in place, I felt better. A little more confident. I spotted a kiosk that had a map of the airport in it’s entirety and I wandered over, locating where I was and where I needed to go and as I did that, my stomach fluttered a little. I was nervous and excited, all in the same time. This was.. Huge for me.

And sadly, this was something I should’ve done before he left New York a few years ago, I just hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it then. I knew Tim too well. If he felt the same, he never would’ve gotten away. He’d have stayed. Kept working hours he didn’t like, in a field he didn’t care for. Or he’d have wound up shelving his own dream entirely and simply done as his father suggested and taken over the family business.

I couldn’t let it happen.

As I wandered down to baggage claim, I walked myself through my half-formed plan. And I glanced at my phone every few seconds. By the time I was standing in the back of a long line at baggage claim, tapping my foot and staring at the baggage carousel impatiently for my bags, I’d sort of started to convince myself that what I was about to do was a dumb idea. And that I shouldn’t have come all this way without making contact first.

And lastly, that Tim Speedle wasn’t going to text me back.

So when my cell phone went off in my hand, I jumped a little and nearly dropped it on the tile flooring. I half expected the text to be from my own mother, the driving force behind my spontaneous decision, but to my surprise, it wasn’t.

XXX

“Hey, Speed?”

Tim Speed looked up from the evidence he’d been looking over for the better part of two hours now. Eric nodded to the desk, where Tim’s phone sat, screen lit up. “You got a text, man.” Eric stepped into the room as he said it, grabbing the phone off the desk, intending to take it over to the part of the lab Tim was standing in.

His eyes caught on the name and he wiggled his brows at his best friend in teasing. “Who’s Blondie, Speed?’

Tim’s head snapped up and he hurried over, practically snatching the phone from Eric’s hand as he answered with a shrug, “A friend from home. I wonder why she’s textin now? We haven’t talked in a long time, it’s been years..” Tim trailed off, unlocking his phone, brown eyes darting over the texts as a soft smirk played at his mouth, tugging the corners upward. 

Eric leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest. “Friends don’t make you smile like a goofball. Start talkin, Speed.”

Tim shrugged and explained the whole thing, adding at the end, “That one time we were talking about missed chances and regrets.. That’s her.”

“The blonde from that picture on your fridge? Damn.” Eric let out a low whistle. “Still say I don’t see why you didn’t just come clean and tell her how you really felt before you left town.”

“I tried, Delko. Everybody’s not smooth like you.”

“Literally all you had to do, Speed, was open your damn mouth. It’s bullshit, you just copped out.” Eric shrugged and smirked at Tim as he said it, especially when he saw that his words had actually gotten a rise out of his best friend. He eyed the phone in Tim’s hand and nodded to it. “Well? You answerin?”

“Hell yeah, when you remove your nosy ass from my lab, Delko.”

“Damn grouch. Hey, Tim?. Don’t think. Just act. Do somethin about this, yeah? You should’ve a long time ago. You’re getting a chance here, man.. take it.” Eric advised before finally leaving the lab, chuckling to himself as he went.

Tim shut the door behind his friend and laughed, leaning himself against the closed door as he spent the next five and a half minutes trying to figure out exactly how the hell to respond.

His heart was racing. One, he’d never thought she’d come to Miami and he found himself wondering why she had now. Two, just seeing her name show up on his phone bought it all rushing back. With more urgency.

10:30 PM [ Speed ] You’re in Miami.. Right now?

10:35 PM [ Speed ] I’m on my way. I just came by the lab to look over some stuff. Stay at the airport, okay? I’ll pick you up. We’ll grab some food or something.

He debated heavily on sending a third text, telling her he missed her, among other things, but he put it off. After all, he didn’t even know if she was here alone… Or why she was here to begin with.

,, but she’s here man. That really should be all that matters. Especially when you were just thinking about her, not even two days ago.” he thought to himself as he slipped on the oversized leather jacket he’d discarded upon entering the lab earlier. After shutting off the lights and locking the door behind him, he hurried out to the parking garage to where he’d parked the Ducati hours before. And the entire time, he couldn’t stop the happy smirk that came.

Nothing mattered but getting to her. Seeing her again.

XXX

My cell phone went off again. By this point, I’d had enough time to wrap my head around Tim being on his way to pick me up. Seeing him again after all this time. I was just coming back up the escalator to the waiting area to find a seat. I stopped a few feet away from the escalator and dug around, finding my phone.

11:00 PM [ Speed ] I think I see you.

11:03 PM [ Speed ] Turn around.

I was just finishing the last text as All I Want For Christmas Is You began to play over the speakers throughout the airport terminal and I felt his hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him.

And seeing him again after all this time, something in me just snapped. As opposed to a friendly hug hello, I was climbing into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist. Those calloused hands settled on my lower back, squeezing as he chuckled. My fingers carded through his hair and the wrapping around the roses in his hands crinkled. The roses settled on the floor and when my body rubbed against his, a quiet groan escaped in the slim margin of space that remained between our mouths for the moment. “Missed you so damn much.” we both mumbled the words at the same time as his mouth connected with mine, his lips latching onto my lower lip, nipping at it. My tongue slipped past his lips and his fingertips dug into my lower back as he chuckled into the kiss.

The current Christmas song playing, the crowd as it rushed past, everything pretty much fell away as the kiss deepened and one of his hands left it’s resting place against my lower back to tangle in my hair. Neither one of us wanted the kiss to break. Honestly, I think I may have been in a little shock that I’d just… Reacted to seeing him like that, without a seconds thought or hesitation. But the kiss had to break so that we could catch our breaths and when it did, I climbed out of his arms, dragging the back of my hand over kiss swollen lips as Tim bent, retrieving the fallen bouquet of roses off of the tiled floor. “I,uhh..” he held them out and I gave a soft laugh, raising to tiptoe and clutching at the front of his leather jacket as I pressed my lips against his. “They’re beautiful… Any reason?” I questioned, only half in teasing because my breath caught in my throat as I wondered if he’d answer.

“Because I should’ve done.. Something.. About the way I feel a long time ago. Before I left, princess.”

My jaw dropped and he shifted his feet around, staring down at me nervously for a few seconds. “Funny you should mention it, Speed.. That’s kind of what bought me all the way here…” I gave him a soft and slightly teasing smile as I watched his jaw drop. 

“Wait.. Just to be clear… you’re saying you feel the same way, yeah?” his voice was husky against my mouth as he leaned down, pulling me against him for another kiss as I mumbled quietly, “Mhm. All I wanted for Christmas was you. So here I am, Tim.”

He scooped me up and started to hurry towards the doors of the airport after grabbing my rolling suitcase and I laughed. “You in a hurry?”

“Yeah, see.. I kind of have this real hot date.” Tim teased as we stepped out into the cool Miami breeze...

[crazycookiemaniac]

Omg why are you losing so many followers youve been drawing gay shit for forever??? (Or maybe i as a gay was just interpreting it that way)

Because I literally spammed people every day for one week lmao. And also, a lot of people follow others for specific content. The moment I stop drawing that exact thing they followed me for, they unfollow me. There are also accounts that follow just to make you follow them & if you don’t, they unfollow you after a while. There’s people who followed me for haikyuu & weren’t interested in BC content, and there were people who followed me for BC content but got showered in gay art instead and that was not their cuppa tea. 

But mostly, i start appearing on people’s feed the more I post. So having me post incessantly for one week made me show up on feeds that I hadn’t shown up for  a good while, so there were probably people who forgot they had followed me in the first place & me posting was a reminder to unfollow.

Truthfully, follower counts are dumb. Yes, it is important for you to have a high follower count for you to get attention, but the amount of people actually following you if you don’t have a consistent art style & rarely ever post something with different vibes than your usual ones, is equal or less than 1% of your total amount of following.

My instagram tells me I have 43k. I do not have 43k people following me. I’ve had 43k that once saw my account & pressed the follow button, but their feeds are filled up with other people’s accs that interest them more than mine (as well as my own feed does not show all the content of the 200+ something people I follow, unless I scroll down till the depths of hell to find every single post on that day and then do so on the next day as well).

Essentially, 95% of your followers are there because of content. They want to see what entertains them. Most of them don’t care about the artist and don’t interact with them at all. Many of them are scared to, given the high follower count. Social media & big accounts make people forget that there are other, real, living & breathing people that are behind them all.

So, to many, I was just a random artist they found and “lol”ed at one of my comics & pressed follow without thinking about it. Most of them don’t go to my account and see all other art I’ve posted to see if they actually like what I do, or me as a person and as an artist at all.

People who don’t know this get really discouraged when they don’t earn a lot of followers, or when they lose a lot (like I did). And some people think you gotta have hundreds of thousands to be famous. I’ve seen accs going around that paid for ads, that had over 150k followers and less than 1k likes on their posts.

Truly famous, loved, growing and/or steady accounts have an amount of likes per post proportional to their follower count. For example, if someone has 150k followers, most of their posts will vary from 20k to 100k likes.

When I was growing my account because I hopped in the fandom bandwagon and stupid little me didn’t know that would only make me crash later, I had like 20~30k and some of my posts reached more than 20k likes (because people liked my stupid comics). Nowadays, I’m not part of the fandom that made me grow anymore. I’m part of a very underrated one (Black Clover), as well a I am drawing a very underrated ship (LuGna) that above all else is getting hated on. I have everything against me in this, so it’s no wonder I lost so many followers.

They didn’t wanna see gay art. They didn’t wanna see Black Clover. They didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Not everyone paid attention or kept up with my warnings. Despite me explaining multiple times in multiple posts what the Thunder Flames project was about, a lot of people still didn’t know what I was doing that for.

The thing about being a big follower count is that, unless you’re actually loved for what you do (and to do that, once again, I need to emphasize that you need to keep a steady rhythm, a steady vibe, a steady you. Because people follow you for your first impression on them, and you gotta keep up to that first impression if you wanna keep your followers.

I’m unsteady. One look at my gallery and you’ll see how disorganized everything is. Oh, lookit, a 1 min speedpaint of a random drawing I did on an old piece of paper! And right on the left there’s a stupid random comic I did–on the right there’s this super detailed, shaded drawing I’ve done that actually looks terrible to me and I will 100% archive it later, and then there’s B&W mixed with gray shaded, flat colored and fully shaded characters of different fandoms + OCs from commissions and whatever else. 

The thing is, I made my follower count based on a fandom, and now that I’m not there most of that follower count does not have me on their feed. And most of them do not want me on their feed. Now, I’m trying to build a follower count for who I am as an artist, because the few people who have actually stayed and followed me throughout the years know how inconsistent I am in terms of art style, fandoms and everything else.

A solution to this would me either keep creating/posting the same thing all over again (just in different patterns), or creating original content (which I do plan on doing at some point). But for now? Since my follower count does absolutely not reflect on how many people actually like me and/or my art, I’m going to be as chaotic as fucking ever and do whatever the fuck I want.

So yes, I do find it comical that I lost 1k followers over this and am not fazed in the very least, especially because I literally foreshadowed losing 1k and hit the fucking jackpot.

The only reason I’m talking about this at all is because 1- it’s impossible not to notice my follower count decreasing, especially because every new 1k I thank people publicly through stories; 2- some people were actually worried I was upset over it and I have to 3- show that I am not, while simultaneously trying to show people that just because you’re losing followers doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you want to create content to please people. It doesn’t mean you should be upset, and it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is bad or wrong.

It means you’re fucking renewing your followers & you’ll now grow for what you’re trying to grow for, bitch. That’s what it’s all about.

Obviously, people do take a great risk doing this. I am taking a great risk doing this. I could’ve lost 5k, I could’ve lost 10k. But I only lost 1k! And that’s because I believe in the project I worked on; I knew there were people out there who enjoyed what I was doing and it’s on them that I was focused on. On the people who supported me AND my art, not just that one single funny comic post I did 3 years ago.

This answer is 100% a lot longer than what you could’ve possibly expected for and I am typing this while being awake for more than 24h so I’m sure that I’ve repeated myself a lot and that there are a lotta typos or w/e and I apologize for that!! But I’m too lazy to go back to read everything over & turn this into a neat post & I’m pretty sure I could answer your question in the first paragraph.

Oh and also. Yes. Yes I have been drawing gay shit ever since I’ve become an artist because I’m so fucking pissed at the lack of canon gay content in a way that it’s depicted as a normal fucking romantic couple instead of having eeeeeeeeveryone point their finger to the gay couple and scream “HEY THAT’S GAY!!! THIS CAN’T BE PART OF THIS VERY HETEROSEXUAL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS OBVIOUSLY HETEROSEXUAL EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE EVER SAID THAT EXPLICITLY BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE CREATORS ARE EITHER HETEROSEXUAL OR TOO AFRAID TO LOSE AUDIENCE IF THEY TREAT GAY PEOPLE AS NORMAL PEOPLE!??!! WHAT SORT OF ABSURD NONSENSE IS THAT??!! GAY PEOPLE AREN’T NORMAL!! THEY’RE GAY AND THEY SHOULD HAVE A GAY SHOW JUST FOR THEM IF THEY WANNA GET SCREENTIME” and yadda yadda yadda.

I’m tired of this bullshit. Ever since I was an artist I’ve been rooting for gay ships in shonen manga while knowing they would never happen just because they were gay, and now that we are in our Blessed-By-Satan, Pandemic-Chaotic, What-The-Fuck-Is-Going-On, We-Don’t-Know-If-We-Wanna-Go-Back-Or-To-The-Future-Or-Just-IDK-Fucking-Die year 2020, in which the LGBT community is thriving and being louder than ever to fight for our rights, Me, in my twenty four years of fucking age, having gone through several fucking disappointments ONLY regarding this matter, am sitting here on my ass, hopeful as all galactic, glittery shit that for some fucking reason, my new OTP formed by very underrated characters from this very underrated franchise in the southern and western communities, becomes canon because my stupid eyes can see chemistry between them even though those stupid haters’ can’t. But that’s because they’re stupid and homophobic, and they really should just shut the fuck up. I don’t wanna dream, I want to believe. Let a bitch pray in peace.

But even if I’m getting ready for disappointment, I’m gonna make this project happen and I’m gonna have a shit ton of artbooks from this Thunder Flames project inside my fucking garage if no one wants to buy them. But I am going to invest a shit ton of money in it and I am going to have these artbooks come to life. Because I am spiteful and petty and homophobes should shut the fuck up, and I wanna do what I wanna do bc as an independent artist, I’m building my future with my own two, very toned and buff by now from all the drawing I did, hands. 

God fucking damn it.

Jesus christ I’m just rambling at this point, I’m so sorry. If anyone ever reads this out of context people are going to be so confused.

But that’s fine. They won’t. You know why? Cuz I got almost 11k followers here on tumblr but less than 0.5% gives a shit that I’m here, so I’m safe.

Have a nice day, drink your water and fuck homophobes. Peace

[unsurepotatohooman]

Two Birds

Fandom : Sander Sides

Characters : Deceit, Virgil, Remus, Patton

Pairings : Platonic Anxceit, Demus and past platonic, now toxic (?) Moceit

Summary : This fic revolves around how Virgil eventually leaves the "dark sides".

Warnings : Swearing :P

A/N : Wow this is my first fic that I am posting! I worked on this for two hours a few days ago after I finally started to crawl out of my writers block. The lyrics I am using is from a song called Two Birds by Regina Spektor. The plot used in this video is heavily inspired by an animatic by teardroppeddew on YouTube! Their animatic is W O N D E R F U L so please check it out!! Here is the link : https://youtu.be/8S6mWMgMqOo I hope you enjoy!!

Work :

Two birds on a wire

Anxiety and Deceit sat together in the dark sides commons. No one really came out in the open very much. The “dark sides”, so their title states, tended to spend time in the shadows; however, the anxious and deceitful sides had grown closer over the years.

One tries to fly away

“-and then we can use that to our advantage. We could finally be heard, Verge!”

And the other watches him close from that wire

The anxious trait sat atop the counter watching as Deceit paced back and forth in the living room, making sure to avoid the dead animal that was left behind by Remus. Deceit was gesturing as he spoke, he cape flapping with the motion. This is how they spent their time together, plotting.

He says he wants to as well

“That could work. We just need to keep Thomas safe.” Anxiety said with his head in his hand that was propped up on his knee.

But he is a liar

Little did they know that Virgil would be heard more than all of them.

I’ll believe it all

“Virgil, are you alright?”

“Dee, I-I don’t know what to do.”

Virgil shook as he spoke. Deceit swept him inside his room and shut the door.

“Tell me what happened.”

There’s nothing I won’t understand

“I’m one of the core sides now.”

I’ll believe it all

He wasn’t expecting that. Virgil clung to him as he sobbed.

“H-hey, calm down Verge. It’s okay.”

I won’t let go of your hand

“Virgil, look at me.”

Deceit guided the anxious traits eyes to meet his own.

“This is a good thing! You can keep Thomas safe and be heard. The rest of us can’t do that.”

“B-but I have to leave the subconscious.” Virgil sniffed.

Damn. There was always a but.

“I’ll still be here for you Verge, I promise. Just come back and visit us whenever.”

As he spoke, Deceit avoided the dread forming in the pit of his stomach. He focused instead on combing his fingers through the boy’s hair.

“Everything will be fine.”

He didn’t even know that the phrase that slipped between his teeth was a lie.

Two birds on a wire

Deceit sat with his head in his hands; his hat lay close beside him.

“Hello~ Dee!” Remus popped up as he made his way into the commons waving his morning star behind him.

Deceit didn’t even bother to look up at the creative facet.

“Still feeling low?” Remus asked.

“No.” The lie slipped through his teeth.

One says c’mon on and the other says “I’m tired”

“Come on! If Virgil the racoon can be heard why can’t I!?”

“Not now, Remus.” Deceit sighed. They had been having this conversation for weeks now. It always ended in the same argument.

“No! You keep putting this off! I can’t take it Dee!”

The sky is overcast and I’m sorry

“Remus enough!”

Remus froze at the shouting. Deceit turned to face him; his snake eye glowed a dangerous yellow color.

“I will let you know when Thomas is ready. We can’t do this now.”

One more or one less

“Fine! Keep me hidden away!”

“Remus-”

It was no use. The creative side sunk out behind the couch. Deceit walked over to it and peered behind the furniture; sometimes Remus tended to pull pranks and just lay on the floor after pretending to sink out. This however, was no joke.

Nobody’s worried

Deceit sunk out back to his room and tried to ignore the tears streaming down his face, the way his fist clenched by his sides or the way his chest squeezed painfully. The yellow glow faded from his eye.

“Everything’s fine.”

I’ll believe it all~

Virgil hadn’t visited in weeks and Remus had barely spoke to Deceit. Everything seemed to be darker in this side of the mindscape. They all kept to themselves far more and the tension was high.

Deceit sat on his bed while he petted his snake. The green and yellow scales that matched his own glimmered in the light from the stars of desire that floated about the room. Thoughts filtered through his mind; some were from Thomas and others were his own.

There’s nothing I won’t understand

A knock on the door snapped him back to reality. He lied the snake down on the mattress as it released a small his of displeasure. With a flick of his wrist the door was unlocked.

“You may not come in.”

The door opened to reveal Remus with a solemn expression over his face.

I’ll believe it all~

“Hello Remus.” Deceit said shortly, though his eyes swam with curiosity. “What do you desire?”

“Dee-” Remus croaked out. “I-I’m sorry.”

I won’t let go of your hand

The pair ended up on Deceit’s bed; Remus on top of Deceit. The creative side was holding on tightly to his shirt as he wailed about all the things that were going through his mind; horrible things. The deceitful facet normally kept Remus from reeling too far; though, their argument prevented him from doing so.

“I’ve got you Rem.” Deceit said softly as he stroked his hair.

“Please d-don’t leave again.”

Deceit slowly slid his hand into Remus’ and squeezed it gently.

“I won’t; promise.”

Two birds of a feather

Deceit was once again sitting in his room filtering through Thomas’ desires. Some of them were simple enough; the want for pizza or to watch more Steven Universe. Others; however, were much more complicated such as the desire for a stable relationship or skipping out on important events. Morality stood in the way of the more extreme desires with his ideas on rights and wrongs. Deceit scoffed at the thought of him.

To think at one point he used to be close with Patton.

They used to be brothers.

He quickly shook the thought from his mind. There was no need to focus on his own desires right now.

Say that they’re always gonna stay together

“I love you Dee Dee!” Patton squealed as he embraced the side in a hug.

Deceit couldn’t help but smile. In the warmth and comfort of their cat and snake onesies, he responded,

“I love you too, Pat.”

But one’s never going to let go of that wire

“Dee stop! Thomas can’t lie! It will hurt them!”

The two boys stood as they shouted with each other in the mindscape commons.

“Patton,” Deceit’s voice was tired. “If he doesn’t, he will get in trouble! Just listen to me for once!”

He says that he will

“I am!” Patton yelled as tears stream down his face. “What you are saying is wrong!”

But he is a lair

“Dee.”

Deceit jumped at the voice. He was so caught up in his own desires he didn’t notice that Remus was there.

“Remus! God, what do you need?”

There was a pause.

“Virgil’s here.”

Two birds on a wire~

The three boys stood in the “dark sides” common room.

“Well, look who decided to finally show up.” Deceit starts.

Virgil rolled his eyes and shoved his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets; purple hoodie pockets.

“What’s with the new getup?” Remus asked as he gestured with his morning star. “Did you all get like superhero outfits or something?”

“No, we didn’t.”

Something was wrong. Something was… different.

One tries to fly away and the other

“I need you two to stop messing with Thomas.”

Remus’ jaw dropped as Deceit’s clenched.

“Excuse me, what now?”

Watches him close from that wire

“You two are doing him more harm than good!” Virgil yelled as his voice became distorted.

“NO! We agreed that we should all be heard! Don’t you remember what it’s like to be like us or has all of this ‘light side’ stuff just gone to your head!” Deceit snapped.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t be heard if you are just going to hurt Thomas!”

“Maybe you should just go back to all those stuck up dumb asses and leave us alone! We don’t have to listen to a bitch like you!” Remus shouted.

“Fine! Maybe I will!”

With one final glare, Virgil was gone.

He says he wants to as well, but he is a lair

“I ‘ought to go kick his ass right now!”

“Remus, no.”

“W-what?! What do you mean no!?” Remus asked as he gestured wildly about. “He just fucking told us that we are hurting Thomas!”

“And there is no need to go punching him in the gut for it, that will only hurt Thomas.”

“This is BULLSHIT! B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! I’m out of here!”

And with that, Remus was gone too.

Two birds on a wire

Anger. That was the emotion he felt as the two sides left. He felt anger, confusion and guilt.

Felt.

Feelings.

Emotions…

“Patton.”

One tries to fly away and the other-

Deceit charges into Patton’s room earning a gasp from the moral side.

“Dee! What are you- are you crying?”

Deceit snarled as he stomped over and picked up the moral side by his shirt; his snake eye was gleaming so bright the light side had to squint to look at him.

“Let’s play a game, shall we?”

[fandom-necromancer]

699. Let’s drink wine and trash-talk our co-workers.

Shoutout to the beautiful anon prompting this! I really enjoyed this!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

part 2

'Hey, man, how about we go out drinking tonight?' Nines sighed, filing away the rest of the papers holding their last successfully closed case. 'You know? To celebrate.' Nines knocked the papers on the table twice to align them, then stared over at Gavin. 'I can't drink, detective, as I told you repeatedly.' 'Oh, but you can!', Gavin was quick to deliver. 'And no, I don't mean your thirium replacement. They developed alcohol for androids.' Nines pushed the pages in their folder and pressed it shut, talking to Gavin in a tone that basically screamed at him how utterly disinterested he was. 'They have? So what? Why should I willingly intoxicate my otherwise flawless systems?' 'Well...' one could nearly hear the gears turning in Gavin’s head. 'For once you would get to see me doing dumb shit?' 'I get to see that every day.' 'Oh come on, dude, really?' But there was a smile on the android’s face, something that told the human to go on.

'Okay, let's say it's for science? Come on, this is pretty new still and I doubt Connor to go drinking. Maybe you are the first RK to test it. Aren't you curious?' 'Well, you certainly are', the android mumbled. 'But fine. The prospect of seeing you lose even more control over your bodily functions could be entertaining. Also, this way I can make sure you get home safely.' Gavin looked at him pleadingly. 'Ugh, fine, I'll try the drinks, okay? Though I doubt their effectiveness.'

 Two hours after their shift had ended, they had changed into more comfortable clothes and driven to a local bar, sat down at a table and ordered their drinks. A glass of wine was sat in front of Gavin as he wanted to “keep it classy”; Nines got a glass full of an iced blue liquid, the exact shade of thirium, but with a few swirls of something he couldn't analyse, not until he would swallow some. Gavin grinned at him, lifting his drink in a toast: 'To another asshole put behind bars for a looong time! Let's drink wine and trash-talk our co-workers!'

Nines let their two glasses hit between them, then hesitated before taking a sip. His eyes went wide as he realised what it contained. He had thought of some chemical added, unsure how that was supposed to do anything, when thirium was basically just a cooling agent. But no, this pseudo-alcohol consisted of nano-machines solved in the thirium that were now quickly spreading in his body. Immediately his defence-systems sprung to action, eliminating one of the little bots after the next without a sweat. Weird. This wasn't even a real attack. It was like popping bubble-wrap, not like fending off a threat. That was when he realised that was probably the intended effect. Humans had their kidneys to clean their blood, androids would have to do it manually. Deciding it would be a waste of money to destroy these machines when they were the desired equivalent to ethanol, he let them fare as they wanted and although not realising it yet, Nines understood what could happen would he have one too many drinks. This could get interesting.

~

‘You know… Chris alwayssssteals the restroom-soap in the lobby.’ ‘No!’, Nines exclaimed shocked and blown away of his co-worker’s behaviour. ‘He does!’, Gavin underlined his statement again and grinned at the androids openly perplexed face. ‘Why di… did you never tell anyone?’ The two had lost count of the number of drinks they had, not that it mattered. The nano-machines were interfering with Nines’ body in more than one way: he felt light-headed, had problems accessing his walking program and his thoughts ran in weird directions. But thankfully, Gavin was in the same situation. He leaned in far enough so that Nines could practically taste the alcohol in his breath. Could. When he got rid of the little bugs hiding it from him. ‘Blackmail’, Gavin lulled smirking at him. ‘How come you nnnever realised it? You got the all-seeing-eyes!’ ‘I… concentrate on my job for once.’ His voice was laced with static and words were hard. At the same time he wanted to talk more than usually in a sober state. ‘And frankly I don’t produce biowaste so no need to use the restrooms.’ ‘Asshole.’ ‘Sssstop it with the-‘ His voice box broke off with a few cracks then it reactivated. ‘the damn compliments.’

‘Ah, next time we shoulda invite Tina’, Gavin laughed. ‘Gurl knows EVERYTHING!’ ‘Seriously, how do you know that much about our co-workers?’ ‘Years of observation, my friend’, Gavin proudly pushed out his chest and weirdly everything Nines could think of at that view was chicken. ‘Okay, so what you have of Hank?’, he shook his weird imagery off. ‘Wanna embarrass Con?’ ‘Ecssssactly.’ ‘Cheated on all his tests in the academy. Not like he didn’t have the brains to do it, just liked havin’ fun more than study. Always passed, too. Asshole.’ ‘You were there together?’ ‘Hmm?’ ‘You and Hank?’ ‘Nah, but I have my sources… Wait. What about Connor? He got any weaknesses? Never found out anything. And damn I don’t wanna end up drooling on the floor again.’

Nines laughed and hollered: ‘That must have been a sight to behold. And I missed it!’ He shook his head. ‘He likes dogs’, he then replied smiling fondly, everything suddenly getting very, very heavy. ‘Pretends to like Hanks music but really doesn’t. I like it though.’ ‘Never pegged you for the heavy metal kind. Always thought classical bullshit was your thingy.’ ‘It is, too.’

‘Okay, what I always wanted to ask: How are you guys? I mean, probably weird because android n stuff, but he your parent or what?’ ‘I see him as a mentor. Although I can’t speak for Connor. Even I sometimes have problems figuring it out. ‘ ‘And… does he like me? I mean like, you and me….’ He gestured a bit with his hands without talking. Then suddenly realised his words and added: ‘Working together! You and me working together, haha…’ Nines was too intoxicated for him picking up on it. ‘He fucking hates you!’, he answered wheezing, and a bit later added a bit louder than necessary: ‘Hey, I said fuck!’ ‘Congra… Congratu… Happy phcking birthday, toaster, now you’re an adult.’ ‘I fucking love this. Normally my programming filters it out. Being impolite and imperfect and so on. Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit-‘ ‘Toaster.’ Nines looked up at Gavin’s face expectantly. The blue hue that had spread on his cheeks was just too cute for Gavin to immediately continue. ‘Wanna do… something reeeally stupid?’ ‘You know what? Yes. Never done something stupid before. Let’s do it. What are you thinking of?’ ‘Let’s go and egg Hank’s house.’ ‘Hell yes let’s fucking do it!’, Nines cried out enthusiastically despite having no clue what it meant. His research function was inaccessible.

They had stopped at a local supermarket, the underpaid cashier not caring enough to stop two drunks buying several crates of eggs at 11pm. Then they walked their way over to Hank’s house, what should have taken them an hour twenty-five but seemed to be far less. Nines didn’t know whether his internal clock was malfunctioning, or he simply didn’t remember ordering an automated car and frankly he didn’t care. What was important was that they stood in front of the house, eggs in hand and eyeing the windows as well as the other houses. ‘So what do we do?’, Nines asked. ‘We simply throw them?’ ‘Yeah. Throw as many as possible without getting caught!’

Maybe the little machines now attacked some part of his deviancy, because suddenly that order was burned inside his mind, the red text being the only thing that mattered. And he wouldn’t be a military grade android, the best ever created, if he failed his mission now. ‘We get a strategic advantage standing over there’, he pointed at a few bushes at a corner. ‘An easy way of retreat with optimal throwing distance.’ ‘Nice! Then let’s do this!’ With amazingly accurate aim for a drunk man, Gavin threw the first egg. It hit the wall and broke with a disgusting wet sound Nines heard weirdly amplified. But he just took out the first of his own and threw it in a perfectly calculated arch. One after the next smacking wetly against the walls and Nines kept the last bit of attention on his environmental scanner. As one of his projectiles wasn’t hitting the intended target and broke on the window, a bit of the shell still sticking to the egg and slowly descending to the ground now, the light inside was switched on suddenly.

Nines detected vibrations of someone standing up in the ground and was immensely thankful some of the more integral soldier-programs where specially protected. Quickly he took Gavin by the arm and pulled him with him into the bushes, the rest of their eggs falling to the ground. Surprisingly for his inebriated state, Gavin got the signal and started running next to him, half stumbling through the woods. Halfway through the human started giggling madly and although Nines knew they should probably stay silent, he couldn’t help himself but start laughing himself. That just made matters worse as it seemed, as Gavin stopped and fell on his back, all the while continuing to laugh.

‘Ah, shit, toaster, hadn’t had such fun in a long time!’ ‘It’s still interesting what you humans do for fun, but I think I get it?’ ‘Damn, I love you.’ Maybe the adrenaline had made him sober up a bit, because he looked up to him shocked upon his slipped words. But if he was sober, Nines definitely wasn’t until he decided to become. He just smiled. ‘Damn, I love you, too, Gav. No other moron would see me and think “yeah, let’s get drunk with a war machine and be idiots together.’ ‘You do?’ It was uttered in such disbelief that Nines started neutralising the bots in his systems. He shrugged. ‘Yes? I think so? I just never said anything. Didn’t know whether you would be open to that and I thought it would be better to not risk what we’ve built together.’ Gavin let his head fall to the ground, looking up to the treetops. ‘Same here, but not as eloquent’, he mumbled. ‘Shit, we’re some dumbasses, aren’t we?’

In the following silence, a distant ‘What the actual fuck?’ could be heard and that made them both giggle uncontrollably again. Nines reached down and helped Gavin up from the ground. ‘We should probably drive to your home.’ ‘We?’ ‘Well, I don’t think going back to Hank and Connor for the night wouldn’t be the best decision now’, Nines laughed drily. ‘Ah, damn, you’re right. But how…’ ‘I already called us a cab.’ ‘God, Nines, I could kiss you, but I think I have to throw up.’ ‘The next time, then.’

[dimples-of-discontent]

My Cockles Crack Masterpost:

Hello, yes, did any of you need a little pick-me-up? I know I do. So I’ve collected for you all most of the Cockles crack that I’ve written. I left off collaborative pieces of crack and ones attached to long gifsets. But all the text posts (especially “Jensen vs. Jensen’s brain”) are all there. I’ll drop a cut somewhere since this baby is long but I hope you all enjoy. 

LONG LIVE TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION!!! 

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

SPN writers: Cool. Why don’t we ask Misha to do one of his accents?

Jensen: *flings door open* *pants* AM I TOO LATE?! DID I MISS IT?!

BONUS alternative by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak​:

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

Everyone: …

Jensen: *starts vibrating at a very high frequency*

Misha: …okay I’ll do an accent

Isn’t it so weird that none of Jensen’s kids look like Misha?

Jensen is CONSTANTLY hosting his own episodes of Queer Eye and every one is about Misha.

[Below the cut]

Jensen: *looks up suddenly and stares into the middle distance* *vibrates at a high frequency*

Danneel: What is it, babe?

Jensen: Somewhere…Misha is doing an accent. Badly. He’s doing it badly, but he’s still doing it.

Danneel: You’ve gotta go!

Jensen: You’re right, I’ve gotta go!

Somewhere in Austin a high-pitched whistle blows.

Jensen, holding his ears and running into the kitchen: Alright, alright! What?!

Danneel, points wordlessly at laptop screen where this is displayed.

Jensen: Oh no.

Danneel, accusatory: I thought you HID those!

Jensen: I did! *pause* Why would he look in my dirty laundry anyway?

*Danneel stares*

Jensen: Oh right. I guess he needed something to wear.

Danneel: Pretty dumb, babe.

Jensen: Hmmm…yeah. *pause, then, hopeful* I guess we couldn’t fly to Hawaii to get them, right? *pause* No, no of course not. *mumbles* Damn shorts.

Text convo, probably:

Jensen: mish miss you. send me a pic.

Misha: *photo of something random like an interesting leaf*

Jensen: no, i mean like i MISS you miss you. send a pic of you.

Misha: *photo of his foot*

Jensen: oh for fuck’s sake! *posts flex meme and tags misha in it*

Jensen: there now it’s public you have to do it. and you can fuck off.

Misha: *sends dick pic*

Me: god Misha has the perfect jawline. Not that it matters.

Lizard brain: lick it

Me: yes, yes if I actually had a real relationship with him that would be well and good but…

Lizard brain: LICKIT

Me: yes, yes I heard you but what’s crucial is that Misha is one of the very best humans out there not that he has the stubbled and chiseled jawline of a Greek god so I really think we should focus on…

Jensen (in the distance): oh my God! it doesn’t have to be a choice, dummy!! L I CK IT!!

Jensen’s brain: It’s Misha’s birthday. We love Misha. Say it.

Jensen: No. We are in public. I am just going to call him “the man” and post a cute pic of us in matching outfits.

Jensen’s brain: NOOOOOO…SAYITSAYITSAYITWELOVEHIMSAYIT

Jensen: God fine ok…but I’m using an emoji not words.

Jensen’s brain: Acceptable.

Jensen: And also I’m going to add “bro”.

Jensen’s brain: …. 😒

Jensen: So now no one will ever know.

Jensen’s brain: 🙄

(About this mess right here)

Jensen’s brain: hold his hand

Jensen: NO it will look gay!

Jensen’s brain: but…you are gay for each other? so who cares?

Jensen: Yes, but we can’t LOOK gay ok? So just shake hands.

Jensen’s brain: fine 🙄

**Jensen does whatever this subby, hand-groping bullshit is**

Jensen’s brain: is that…. is that how humans shake hands? in a non-gay way?

Jensen: Shut up.

Jensen’s brain: i’m just trying to understand

Jensen: Shut up, asshole

Jensen’s brain: 😏

Look, I know it’s not going to happen, but all I want in life is for Jensen to respond to Misha’s shirtless video by saying “Hey Mish, if you need a shirt I have a few old ones for you.”

New theory: Jensen gives Misha so many shirts because otherwise his natural inclination is to run around bare-chested and Jensen’s poor, queer heart cannot handle it. (Photo version.)

Cockles trash cat meme origin

So you know how you sometimes go out with you friends and one of them gets way too drunk and ends up getting confessional with someone they don’t know that well? And you kind of want to stop them but, y’know, it’s their life and their choices so you have nothing to do but sit back and watch and be equal parts mildly horrified that they are spilling secrets to a relative stranger and incredibly amused at how they will feel about it later?

THAT is how I feel watching Misha tell the same story, over and over, about wearing Jensen’s hand-me-down shirts.

Misha, you’re currently my intensely emotional drunk friend and you need to stop before you reach the point of crying in the club. Neither of us can handle that. Thanks in advance.

Misha on social media: hahaha…Jensen is my cabin boy…that means he’s a sub who likes BDSM…hahaha…gonna make a comment about a giant space tongue rimming Jensen b/c why not lolz…gonna post a pic of myself covered in white goo and imply that it’s come from the conclusion of a threesome with Jensen and Jared…haha I’m such a scamp…I’m just incorrigible…teehee…

Misha when a fan mentions clothing: WHAT’S A JENSEN??? I’ve never heard of one and even if I had I definitely wouldn’t have had any non-heterosexual thoughts or feelings about him…and we’re absolutely not so close that we share in casual intimacy without a second thought…what could possibly make you think that?? I DON’T EVEN LIKE JENSEN OK!!!

Stages of Cockles in Gifs.

I feel like Jensen is one con away from straight-up answering an only tangentially-related question with, “…and that’s why I love Misha. You do know I love Misha, right? Like, love love him, like the way we love our wives. I feel like you guys get it so let’s just move on. Next question!”

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be projecting the words “JUST SO YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS MAN” on the side of the building across from the hotel in case you somehow miss that message in their panels.

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be screening a 12-minute video that is just them giggling while one of them films the other; there will be no lines and nothing else will happen. Fandom will deem it a masterpiece.

At the next con, instead of his usual classic rock covers, Jensen will be performing a spoken word piece about how great Misha is, accompanied by Jared on bongos and Richard Speight on the kazoo.

In the final episode we are brought to the realization that the show DOES exist in our universe and on our timeline and that this entire time J2M have ACTUALLY BEEN TFW and kept this cover story about being actors on a TV show to keep us from knowing what they are really up to. Most of the show is just footage of their lives, though some of the things on the show were just absurd and to keep us off track.

Misha Collins is an actual angel. Jensen Ackles is a grumpy-faced softie with the biggest nerd streak. Jared Padalecki is a fiercely loyal and intelligent guy who has fought off more than his share of darkness. Gen and Danneel are actually supernatural creatures though neither will fully commit to being an angel or demon. Vicki is too powerful to be captured on film. And of course Jensen and Misha have been husbands for years. It was hard to hide that one on the show.

Jensen: *does interview quote game on his own* Great! Now, I’m gonna go get Misha. He’s gonna be so terrible at this game lol…He has the worst memory and never watches the show…hahaha isn’t that so cute?

Interviewer: oh actually we weren’t quite done interviewing you…

Jensen: yeah but Mish is gonna be so bad at this and I can’t afford to miss that! Imma go find him right now!

Interviewer: you really don’t have to…we’re actually talking to you all individually.

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: y’know, so we can cut the clips together?

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: And because you probably have a lot of other interviews at this huge press event for your 300th episode?

Jensen: ….. Yeah, no, I’m getting him right now. Hey, Mish! Get in here!

Filming with JenMish (aka “why’s Dean wearing a seatbelt?”)

**Jensen makes a dirty joke and Misha cracks up** **Misha and Jensen playfully push each other around the front seat of the car** **Misha says one thing that is mildly amusing and Jensen falls over laughing**

Sanchez, conferring with Bob Singer: What do you do to stop this?

Singer: strap one of them down

Sanchez: You mean, like, tell them to get it together or else?

Singer: No, no. I mean LITERALLY strap one of them down.

Sanchez: ….

Singer: Why do you think they get tied to so many chairs? **sighs** These two have cost us so much in duct tape.

photographer: alright, everyone, fight each other for pie! jensen: mish, you should pull my hair. misha: why? it’s not like that would stop you moving your arm. jensen: …. jensen: misha. you. should. PULL. MY. HAIR. misha: ooohhhhhh! jared: I don’t want to be here for this.

Cockles is the gay booze cruise of ships.

a text exchange that probably happened: jensen: I can’t believe ur still going running on vacation jensen: nerd misha: hello to you too. … misha: awww, babe, you must really miss me! that comment is so sappy! jensen: shut up misha: you “dig” the “WHOLE THING” huh? jensen: fuck off misha: don’t I know it!! jensen: fuck OFF misha: now I have to go like it. … misha: ok done. you huge softie. jensen: not always misha: oh really? misha: how about now? jensen: not now jensen: call me misha; as you wish…

Jensen’s brain (Jensain): holy shit!! look at our hot husband!! mmm…we like the grey and the sweat and the beard and, hey, did we give him that shirt? Jensen: yep. Jensen’s brain: and he sounds all smart and sincere, which turns us on….WOW we’ve been apart for too long! Jensen: tell me about it. Jensen’s brain: Say something about how good he looks. Jensen: I can’t. It’s public. Jensen’s brain: You gotta. Jensen: I. CAN’T. Jensen’s brain: But how these bitches gonna know he’s yours!? Do you know how many people are looking at this video RIGHT NOW?! Jensen: OMG Jensen’s brain: OMG Jensen: they gotta know… Jensen’s brain: YESSSSS!! DO IT!! Tell everyone the sexy, scruffy, deep-voiced, poetry-reciting motherfucker standing in the sunlight belongs to you! Jensen: I can’t say that. I’m just..gonna…tease him? about something? Jensen’s brain: u serious? 😒 Jensen: Well…no… Jensen’s brain: tell him you like the whole package! Jensen: I cannot use the word “package” about Misha in public. Jensen’s brain: 😏 Jensen’s brain: Fine! Can you at least mention how strong he is? Jensen: … I guess that’s less…gay… Jensen’s brain: uh-huh, sure. way less gay. 🙄 Jensen: ok, I did it. now leave me alone. I have to post a picture of my family so that no one suspects I only logged in because I have alerts set for Misha. Jensen’s brain: … Jensen’s brain: hey, you know who looks sexy in flannel PJs?? Jensen: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat and sits upright in bed*

But how much of the mockumentary did Jensen shoot??!?

Misha is busting out of his shirt and jacket in those EW pics again, which makes me think something like this exchange must have taken place:

EW stylists: So, what size is Misha? SPN costumers: Eh, he’s the small one. EW stylists: But…he doesn’t…look small? SPN costumers: Nah, trust us, he’s the small one. EW stylists: Uh, looks more like he’s a 6’ wall of muscle but ok Misha: What’s a clothes? I will wear it. *Jensen sobbing in the background*

”I’m Full Frontal in Here Dude: Guest Starring Misha Collins” title of Jensen’s sex tape.

Jensen’s brain: you should give Misha that valentine.

Jensen: Yeah, good. It will work for the video. Like, as a joke.

Jensen’s brain: no. not joke. he’s your valentine.

Jensen: No he’s…

Jensen’s brain: you can’t lie to me. I’m you.

Jensen: shit. that’s true.

…

Jensen’s brain: Sooooo…valentine?

Jensen: Fine, but I’m gonna call him “buddy” when I give it to him.

Jensen’s brain: 😐

Jensen: People can’t KNOW!!

Jensen’s brain: You literally just called him your valentine on camera on a livestream but OK WHATEVER make sure you say “buddy.”

Jensen: I did WHAT??!

Jensen’s brain: Why do I bother? 🙄

Destiel AU where Cas is a poet who writes secret poems for Dean and posts them anonymously to an Instagram account that he gets Dean to follow and Dean falls in love with the mystery man he feels is speaking to him…and then realizes it was the guy he already crushed on from afar.

aka AU where Destiel is Cockles (with some tiny changes)

[yeet-me-into-oblivion-please]

Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

[problematiq]

@reneetaleenaisnotvicious it’s just a place full of assholes.

in the last couple of weeks, i had to explain to them why you can’t use the n-word when you’re not black, thinking it was common knowledge, only to be met with “well, it’s not universally agreed upon” (like, no shit, of course white people won’t agree that they can’t use it and since when does every single person have to agree that something is wrong in order for it to be wrong?) and “saying i can’t say the n-word is reverse racism”, causing me to dig into 2012 discourse on how reverse racism isn’t real.

people will defend the actions of every single human being billie joe has ever had contact with. the allegations of the former (jewish) employer against kat von d about her writing an antisemitic note to him are dismissed as “just a cry for attention from an unhappy employee” even though experts have concluded that it was 99% her handwriting - but yeah, kat von d never said she wrote it, so it must just be fake, since we all know and trust her??

in the discussion over billie’s collaboration with morrissey, people have defended that dude at every turn so they could feel better about their collaboration and completely dismissed everyone who showed concern or disappointment with it. i’m not gonna list everything morrissey has done and i’m not gonna debate it with anyone anymore since i’ve seriously had it up to here with that topic, but the gist of it is that morrissey is a racist UKIP supporter who said that “chinese people are a subspecies”. people have routinely and adamantly attempted to downplay the racism and rationalize his fucked up behavior, saying “well maybe billie just didn’t know about what he did, why should you research everything your collab partner has done” which turned to “morrissey not a racist, he’s just a dumb idiot with no influence who wants attention” which turned into “he’s not even a ukip supporter” which turned into “well actually ukip / nigel farage aren’t even xenophobic if you think about it”. then, a user on the forum who is half-chinese voiced her disappointment in the forum for defending that scumbag tooth and nail and said she was done with the forum and wouldn’t visit anymore. people backpedaled a bit but still tried to tell her that it’s “not really that bad” and “there are worse forms of racism you should focus on” like lmfao really? so that’s when i said “you know what fuck y’all” and left the forum too and with that, the green day fandom really because i am sick and tired of people worshipping the ground billie walks on like fucking catholics, incapable of criticising him or admitting any flaws or mistakes.

for some reason i decided to join the discord server for the old gdc people who used the chat a lot because i thought, maybe i don’t have to cut contact to everyone and can still enjoy talking to people about my favorite band?? and for a while we had fun and i really liked them.

so on april 1st, they announced that the forum would be shut down forever by the end of the week because it was too much work and too expensive to continue keeping it up or whatever. of course only gullible people believed it and nobody else really took it seriously while the mod team desperately tried to convince everyone that it was not an april fools joke like “omgz i’m so sad” and “i dont understand why everyone would think THIS IS A JOKE wow i am so UPSET” and it was ridiculous really because they tried so hard with the joke and nobody bought it.

so then someone posted the link to the discord server in the forum so more and more people joined and i was like “oh” because suddenly every person i hated on the forum and who was the reason I left gdc in the first place joined the discord server, even the gdc mods (who can all suck a fucking dick). those people don’t like me either so it already felt restricting to post there and i was getting pissed that i joined there first and then they all came and forced me to communicate with them again. and i’m serious, i’m fucking done with that place and i want nothing to do with these people either.

then on april 2nd (AFTER april fools) the site was down but some people still didn’t believe it was gone forever because WHY WOULD THEY? that april fools joke was a fucking pathetic attempt to upset the community who loved the forum, and they were salty nobody gave a shit so they had to take extreme measures. i would’ve been happy to believe it and see the forum fucking rot but other people who had found friends and loved the community were genuinely upset about this (one person even started a gofundme).

then, some minor mod joined the discord and complained about us “talking shit” about the mods because it was all the admin’s fault and he gave us some bullshit story about how he was angry with him too, that the admin had given the mods a chance to back up their shit before they closed or even gave them an opportunity to take over the forum but nobody wanted to blah blah blah and some shit about green day’s management wanting to restrict the forum because people were talking about their private lives or that they had planned a dookie tour but it was cancelled because of trés baby or some shit??? whatever. and i believed it because he was convincing and not someone who usually lies and trolls people but who put in a lot of work into the media section and would have been upset if it were gone, so i was actually sorta understanding towards him.

then a couple of hours later the site was back online, the admin made some stupid joke about “lololool i’m a mastermind you can go fuck yourselves i’m so happy with myself!111!!”, they made a social media post about it having just been an april fools joke while directly quoting something i said on the discord server, and that one unimportant mod who lied to us and some other dumbass mod i’ve always hated posted on the discord that they “had a lot of fun lying to us” and how fucking hilarious our reactions were or whatever and how good it was to see how many people cared about gdc like???

and i was fucking mad because I HAD LEFT THAT PLACE!!!!! i had literally left that place and they come to the place i kinda found refuge hin after leaving that shithole (a place i actually liked being on and where i had fun to communicate with the other members and could actually see myself staying and maybe not leaving the fandom entirely), infiltrate it with their fucking presence and make it my fucking business what happened to GDC, lie to me and everyone and laugh to themselves about the things i said or how they had fooled us. so they ruined everything for me again just so they could have a laugh and i’m not kidding when i say i hate every single fucking person who keeps this dumpsterfire running with a passion. and what’s almost more frustrating is how every single person who was mad at them for the joke now runs back to them like “oh wow that was a mean joke but now i’m just happy i can be back, i’m ready to put this behind me” lmfao.

i don’t give a shit about the forum, I. LEFT. i want nothing to do with them, i don’t want them around me, i don’t want them to talk to me or about me. i want them to ignore my fucking existence and leave me THE FUCK alone. and now i can’t even visit the discord anymore because they don’t even have the fucking decency to leave the server after their bullshit stunt. so thanks for fucking nothing you absolute dumbass fucking dick-eating pieces of horseshit.

[pinkletterday]

The Flash 5x4!!!

I am HYPED, you guys! FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT'S UP WITH MOMMA AND BABY.

Whatever it is Im going to deeply empathize with and love both of them.

Idk who this stupid af bitch is running straight into a blazing hail of fireballs and trying to take selfies but I hate her.

Iris. Iris. Baby. Hahahahaha Nora knows what a disaster her Mom is in the kitchen. I love you sfm Iris.

Hey Nora this version of your Mom just met you so hold back on the teenage sass, okay?

Ok this isnt funny anymore my heart is aching for Iris.

Young lady sit back down and eat that breakfast your Mom made for you.

"Make you a banana" lmaoooo this is why Barry does all the cooking. Gawd I love the domesticity.

I love that Iris can't cook. It just adds to her perfection. I guess I really am a fool in love, huh?

Oh God this guy. Shut up shut up shut up. Did this buffoon just call Cisco Ramon not brave???

I wish Ralph would take the lead here. That's right, I like Ralph now. This season is magic.

I would find this softball thing adorkable and hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that Barry is literally the Flash. It doesn't make a lick of sense. Would have been much more interesting if Barry had turned into a star athlete overnight and everyone just boggled.

Otoh it provides an interesting (read: hilarious) look at their dynamic growing up. Their different dorknesses cancel each other out.

I am irked. Why is the Flash a hopeless athlete? HE CATCHES KNIVES OUT OF THE AIR. How does he just switch off his co-ordination?

Kinda nice seeing all the ladies together like that though. Cecile is a gift.

NORA IS A GAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A BABY QUEER IN THE HOUSE aaaaaand you are seriously trying my patience here. Be rude to your mother one more time. See how that goes.

Oooh Momma Bear is on the case! *hearteyes*

See, Baby Giraffe is already better at this than The Fraudulent Frenchie.

I hate to say it but based on that lumberjane chic I think we have another queer in the house. But this one we don't want.

Loool "like her size extra small". I hate to say it but thats a way better reason for her codename than "excess" ugh.

No it was different because she never knowingly put the people she was writing about in danger you asshat. God I wish you weren't so pretty.

Another black man wrongly accused. What up, America.

...Joe what. You guys. Jesse Martin looks bad. IS HE OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

Momma coaching Baby through speedster things! Because Barry taught her that one time she was a speedster. I can't handle this. My heart.

She FINALLY thanked her! Iris's smile.

My girls. I can't.

OMG SOMEONE REMEMBERS EARLY EDITION! I loved that show!

Also. Iris West, ace reporter, always better than fake hoes. Watch and learn, padawan.

Am sad we're not getting any Cisco Ramon. I hope Carlos is enjoying his mini-vacay. Otoh, I really like that Caitlin is included in the West-Allen circle this ep.

I wonder why Nora doesnt call Cait and Cisco Aunt and Uncle. They must be the godparents.

It's okay Ralph. Some leads don't pan out. If Shitloque was an actual detective he'd know that.

But I love that the heroes of Central City can walk around in public and interact freely. Oliver's team would need to break in and scare the bejesus out of some poor unsuspecting sod.

NORA IS A DISASTER LESBIAN CONFIRMED. Or probably a disaster bi like her Dad. I AM LOVIN' THIS.

THAT MOMENT WHEN THE PENNY DROPS FOR BARRY THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS A GAY LMAOOO

Fuck I love that Iris never even blinked when Nora said Spencer was cute. She probably sussed it way before. I love you Momma West-Allen.

Oh no oh no I was right. Iris pulled a Joe West. Goddamn it. I mean I get why, I get how traumatized and scared she must have been but IRIS NO YOU DON'T LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN TO PROTECT THEM. Remember how you felt when your Dad did that to you?

I am legit heartbroken, you guys. I really wanted to be wrong. I blame Joe West's goddamn patriarchal shitty parenting for perpetuating this cycle of lies.

I swear to God if this show tries to justify lying and manipulating your kid again I'm going to give up on it. It's triggering as all fuck (I still havent recovered from S1 and 2) and I need Iris to be held accountable when she fucks up, not let her turn into another Fefe who can do no wrong.

Jesus Christ Iris, trying to force a conversation with Nora by invading her privacy and ignoring her need for space is not okay. BOUNDARIES, girl.

Oh okay but she's holding herself accountable thank fuck. I mean, Barry's right she can't be blamed for what she might do in the future but IT'S STILL WRONG.

I was actually shaking. Friendly reminder that survivors of parental abuse and manipulation are also watching this show, some of us with CPTSD.

"What if my Dad did something like that to you"?? Er. Iris? Remember when he lied to you for twenty years about your mother being dead and you didn't talk to him for six months?

Oh here we go. You've stood there like a gormless beanpole for three episodes without so much as trying to intervene Barry and this is how you choose to comfort your wife. Not "yes, it's a bad thing and we can't know what led you to the choices future you made but in the here and now you know not to. We can learn from the future and make different choices, Iris."

PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT, CAITLIN.

...I just meant for frightening Caitlin, but he actually wants to be punched?

Ooooh that was satisfying! Pretty sure her form was all wrong but can't argue with the results.

I love how fucking competent Iris is??? She knows how to use the entire STAR Labs tech arsenal. Although that Vibe device kinda defeats the whole purpose of breechers. It's like if they had a device lying around that could give just anyone super speed.

Not sure how Spencer thinks XS can kill Flash. One's a n00b and the other is veteran.

Wait, Baby Flash can do what now?

I don't like that they had to dumb Barry down so much to give Iris a chance to shine. A couple can both be competent at the same time! It's called being a power couple! Not one-half Idiot Ball couple!

So her phone got powers? Huh??

Ah yes. Dark Matter. More multi-purpose than Quantum.

Okay cool Ralph is getting his due. "Less right" LOL

"That puts meta-human powers in the hands of anyone" kinda like having a Breeching device, no?

We have meta-humans, meta-phones, meta-daggers (a tech dagger??) HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THE DARK MATTER HIT A HOME DEPOT?? How many people now have meta-vacuum cleaners? Meta-dishwashers?? Meta-can openers??

Oh God. No. Not this.

No. You do not lie and manipulate your kids to protect them. You do not do that. Love is no justification.

Don't Barry don't. Stop stop.

I can't watch this. FUCK YOU.

FOR GOD'S SAKE SHE'S CRYING AND SHAKING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO COMFORT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE NOT STAND ON YOUR PILE OF BULLSHIT WITHOUT GIVING A FLYING FUCK.

No, cry all you want. I have no sympathy for either one of you callous asshats. You fucking destroyed that girl. Fuck Joe West for having raised you to think this way.

Yeah no Joe West is not who you want to go to in these matters, Nora.

I don't even care about Cicada anymore.

I should have known this show would never get any less gross.

Look, I was fully prepared to be sympathetic to Iris, traumatized, alone and single mother to a meta-child in a dangerous world to have made some bad decisions. And I do empathize. But I wasn't prepared for present-day Barry and Iris to justify and rationalize that shit. I thought they were going to say "That was a bad thing your Mom did. I'm sure she thought she was protecting you but she may have lost sight of how much it hurts to have your choices taken away from you. But I'm not that woman, Nora. I know I could never bear to see you hurting like this. I can still make better choices. Please give me a chance?"

Not "No I am your Mom and everything I do is right and good because I love you, I'm sorry if you feel hurt about it but them's the facts."

They did this when Barry and Joe lied to Iris all through S1, when Joe lied to Iris about her mother. This show is still all about apologia for lying and manipulation because LOVE AND GOOD INTENTIONS AND TO PROTECT YOU BY DISRESPECTING THE FUCK OUT OF YOU AND TAKING AWAY YOUR AGENCY.

Parental love is not a justification. Most abuse takes place at the hands of parents who really believe they're doing it for their children's protection. Please never say "your parents have every right to hurt you to protect you because they love you". Do you even care at all.

I'm not okay. Gonna take a break from fandom for a while. Can't deal with people taking Iris's side to protect their Westallen feels. Fuck both of them.

I'm posting this but please don't engage me to argue about it. Massively triggered.

[pyro-yoshi]

Demonic Possession Style - a Walking Dead sick fic

You know how I’m all about OC sick fics? I still am, don’t you worry. Its been years since I’ve written a puke without plot for a fandom. Well, I broke that streak and wrote some fan fiction. I felt the internet needed some Walking Dead emeto, so I wrote this. Negan gets super sick and profusely pukes his guts out all over the place, several times, and his fellow Saviors take care of him. The amount of puke is fairly exaggerated, as Negan throws up A LOT. Likely more than is humanly possible. Why? Because I am into that.

This is pretty long. At a little over 5000 words, I do believe this is the longest sick fic I’ve written. I enjoyed writing it, hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it.

He’d felt a bit off all day, but it wasn’t until he disemboweled Spencer that Negan felt a sharp stabbing pain in his own gut. If that wasn’t ironic he didn’t know what was. Perhaps it was some sort of phantom sympathy pain, but then again the very idea of that was stupid.

Just like Spencer.

Negan would be the first to admit he was a cocky bastard, but he absolutely couldn’t stand people like Spencer, overly privileged shits who skated through life using their good looks and daddy’s credit card to get whatever they wanted. Having to talk one on one with Spencer was bad enough, but once he’d expressed his wish to kill Rick and takeover as the new leader of Alexandria, Negan had officially had enough of him and offed him right there in the street.

While tormenting Rick was one of Negan’s favorite hobbies, he also harbored a fair amount of respect for the ex deputy. Rick Grimes was a natural leader, he organized people, and most importantly, he was a go getter. He got shit done, and Negan liked that. Plus, he liked Rick’s kids a lot. Carl was a badass, and baby Judith was the cutest damn thing he’d EVER seen. Earlier in the day, he’d spent a good half hour cradling Judith, bouncing her on his knee and being silly with her while Carl kept his one remaining eye intently trained on him.

But Spencer, that asshole, wanted to murder Rick and leave Carl and Judith without a father, and Negan simply wasn’t going to tolerate that bullshit.

He felt a twinge of nausea as he watched Spencer drop to his knees, holding his own intestines in his hands. It wasn’t the blood and guts that was bothering him. Living in a post apocalyptic world, nobody batted an eye at bloodshed anymore. Killing people was just a part of life now.

No, this was something else. Before Spencer had approached him, Negan had made himself at home in Rick’s residence and cooked a massive amount of spaghetti for himself and his guests. Olivia hadn’t eaten a single bite, Carl had just picked at his and Rick didn’t even show up. Rude. Negan wasn’t the type to let food go to waste, especially not now, so he’d eaten almost the entire pot himself. He ate all of the rolls too, and washed it down with a couple glasses of lemonade. He’d probably just eaten too much.

More abrupt, intense pains almost made him wince, but he brushed them off. Instead, he stood over Spencer, who was rapidly bleeding out, and addressed the crowd of Alexandrians who had gathered around him.

“Look at that! He did have guts after all, they’re right there! I’ve never been so wrong in my life!”

The crowd stared, but nobody moved. They wouldn’t dare try anything, not with Arat ready to unload her pistol into anyone dumb enough to do something drastic.

“I just did your community a favor!” Negan ignored the horrified looks some people were casting him and continued. He motioned to Carl, who was glaring at him from his porch. “Kid, that douchebag just told me he wanted to kill your dad. Now I don’t know about you, but I think that’s really shitty.”

Turning back to the crowd, he carried on, ignoring the stomach pains and slight nausea he felt. “That’s right people. Spencer the dickless there wanted to take out your fearless leader! You should all be thanking me.”

A stronger wave of nausea took him by surprise, but he played it off and continued swaggering around Alexandria, Lucille in his hand as always. He supervised as his men wandered in and out of various homes and took whatever they felt like taking in addition to picking up this week’s offering.

Under normal circumstances, Negan would be bummed that he wasn’t going to see Rick on this visit, but as time wore on, he found himself caring less and less as he gradually began to feel worse. He could somehow still taste the spaghetti, and he felt overly full and excessively bloated, which left him in a great amount of discomfort. It got to the point where he almost sighed in relief when his men decided to load up and go back to the compound.

The drive from Alexandria to the Savior's compound was usually an hour there an hour back, a little more if they had to clear walkers from the road on the way.

Negan wasn’t sure if he’d make it through the whole drive home. He was in the passenger seat of the front most truck, and he’d long since given up trying to get comfortable. No amount of position shifting seemed to ease his rapidly growing queasiness, and rolling down the passenger window to get some fresh air hadn’t helped worth a damn. He sank down into his seat and sighed as he placed his right hand on his upset, overly bloated stomach. The truck driver gave him a questioning glance but didn’t pry.

To say he felt like dogshit was a massive understatement. Every bump in the road made him feel even worse, and by the time he arrived back at the compound, he felt well and truly sick. He felt bad enough that he let his guard down and dropped the sarcastic, confident personality he usually displayed in favor of being quiet. He thought back to various times he’d been sick with a stomach bug or food borne illness in the past, and those instances had all started with bloating and sharp abdominal pains.

He felt hot and feverish in addition to feeling sick, and as he stepped out of the truck, a dizzying wave of vertigo washed over him. He groaned softly and Lucille almost slid from his grip.

He was definitely sick, no doubt about it. All he wanted was to retreat to his room and curl into a ball of misery on the bathroom floor. He knew that’s what he’d end up doing, as he was really starting to feel like he was going to puke. He wasn’t the type to fight it, he’d much rather get it all out and feel better, at least temporarily.

Of course, Negan’s escape plan was thwarted. He had only made it several yards away from the trucks when Simon came out of nowhere and flung his arm around his shoulder.

“We’ve got a problem, and I know you’d want to hear this from me. We’ve got a snake in the nest.”

Negan looked at him, but it took him a moment to find his words. “What happened?”

“I caught said snake, Toby, trying to leave us with weeks worth of stolen food. He stole from all of us and thought he could get away with it! Unfortunately for him, I’m exceptionally good at discovering pests. We decided to heat up the furnace to teach him a lesson. Dwight’s getting the iron ready, but being the big man himself, you get to do the honors.” Simon explained.

Before Negan could protest, his right hand man lead him into the factory. Arat followed, and everyone else trailed behind them on her command. Truthfully, ironing Toby’s face was the last thing he wanted to do right now. With every step he took, he was hit with an intense nausea peak and came closer to losing it. At this point it wasn’t a matter of if he was going to throw up, it was when. He knew he had a 100 percent chance of seeing his lunch again, and probably soon at that because he felt like he could hurl at any second.

Simon lead him to the railing of the balcony overlooking the common room, and he felt acid creep up his throat as he looked down at the crowd of his lieutenants and workers below. They were all kneeling and bowing like usual, save for Dwight who was heating up the iron, and Toby who had been stripped to his underwear and bound to a chair. Normally Negan relished the sight of his loyal cohorts bowing to him and loved leading them in a charismatic manner, but today he just wasn’t up to it. He straight up felt too sick to give a traitor the iron.

Alas, he couldn’t not do it either. Toby had to be punished, but Negan wasn’t going to bother with taunting. He’d wordlessly give this guy the iron, then lock himself in his ensuite bathroom and spend the rest of the day puking his guts out.

He sluggishly descended the stairs, and he could feel everything in his stomach unpleasantly sloshing around with each step. He stopped in front of Toby, but another wave of vertigo hit him and he had to shut his eyes and brace himself with Lucille to avoid falling over.

Toby was panicking, as victims of the iron always did. He looked up at Negan, pleading.  “I-I’m so sorry sir! I’m stupid, I’m an idiot, I’m a fuck up, just please don’t do this! I’ll never break a rule again! I swear! Please!”

Simon grinned manically and leaned over the bound man. “Toby, Toby, Toby. It sure is a shame it had to come to this, because before your fuck up today, you did a good job here. I liked you. But, you must be a lot dumber than you look if you thought you could get away with that. The thing is, we don’t take too kindly to thieves around here.” he spoke in an upbeat manner, but the aura of threat was there clear as day.

Dwight removed the glowing, red hot iron from the furnace with a long metal pole and extended it to Negan. Toby, who was near tears from the anticipation of that nearly molten metal being pressed to his face, was practically howling with fear.

Negan didn’t take the iron. He was overwhelmed with nausea, and he could taste the acid that was threatening to shoot up his throat. Lucille was limp in his grip, his mouth flooded with saliva and he moaned as he a felt a hot, burning sensation rapidly start spreading through his gut. That could only mean one thing. He was going to puke, right here, right now, and there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it.

His followers had suspected something was off upon noticing how quiet he had become, but by now nearly everyone had realized that something was amiss. Arat cocked her head and gave him a questioning look, and many others followed suit.

Simon turned away from Toby and rose a brow at Negan. “What’s going on with you? Is there something I should know about?”

“I..I...oh fu-” Negan was cut off mid sentence by a retch. He felt his stomach contract and before he could even move, a torrent of vomit gushed from his mouth, missing Simon by an inch and hitting Toby square in the chest.

“Holy fuck! What the hell Negan?!” Simon leapt back to avoid getting nailed. Several other people flinched back as well, and even Arat looked shocked.

Toby audibly cried out in revulsion as the chunky brown substance slid down his torso. “Oh god! He just puked on me!”

Negan clamped a hand over his mouth and turned away from the man, but it was no use. Puke spurted from between his fingers and dripped down onto his nice leather jacket before he gagged again and completely lost control. Lucille clattered to the ground as he puked all over the floor, splashing the feet of one of his guards as he did so.

Dizziness swept over him and caused him to lose his balance. He dropped to his knees and moaned as he clutched his stomach with both hands. A second later he erupted with more chunks, making the pool in front of him bigger. Another copious wave comprised of spaghetti, rolls, lemonade and everything else he’d eaten came up, and before he could even recover from that he vomited again.

Everyone was staring at him in shocked silence, and no one wanted to go near him for fear of getting puked on.

Negan’s eyes were starting to water from the force of his retching, which he found humiliating. He wasn’t embarrassed about throwing up in front of everyone, because he couldn’t help it. However, the idea of involuntarily crying in front of them was very off putting. He was given a second to catch his breath before his stomach lurched and he continued to puke profusely on the concrete floor. Just when he thought he had nothing left inside him to bring up, he’d be proven wrong seconds later.

A flash of light suddenly brightened the room, and he realized that someone had just taken a picture of him. He didn’t have time to be angry about it though, as an agonizing jab of pain tore through his abdomen. He retched noisily as a small amount of putrid tasting liquid flowed from his mouth, and it was immediately followed by a mouthful of something that tasted even worse.

This was pure agony, Negan wouldn’t wish it upon his worst enemy. Sure, he’d eaten a lot, but this was ridiculous. Was he actually going to puke himself to death as everyone looked on in horror? Were his actual guts going to come up next? He briefly wondered which of his organs he’d see first.

Fortunately he never got the answer to that question. When nothing else came up after thirty seconds, he figured he was finally done. There was a lingering string dripping from his mouth, so he spat it into the lake of puke in front of him.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed. It was all he could think to say.

When he looked up, the first thing he saw was Eugene looking at him. The portly scientist was holding a camera and gazing at him with his usual stony faced expression.

“I apologize for the photography,” he began. “However, I must admit that I am thoroughly, utterly, downright impressed by what you just did. Never in my entire life have I witnessed someone throw up like that. Hell, I didn’t even know it was humanly possible for so much vomit to come out of one person. Thus, I felt it was necessary to document it in the name of science.”

Negan truthfully didn’t know what to say to that. For once, he was at a loss for words. Then again, he did see Eugene’s logic. If he didn’t feel absolutely godawful, he’d be impressed with himself too. He scanned over the damage he did and realized Eugene was right. He had produced an insane amount of puke. Not only did he basically destroy the floor and Toby, it was all over himself too. It was on his jacket, his right hand, his pants and his boots.

As he knelt there, the situation was quickly becoming awkward because everyone was still silently staring at him. He felt someone grip his arm and help him up, and he wasn’t surprised that it was Simon. Of course it was. Negan could always count on him.

Arat stepped up next. “What the fuck are you all staring at? Back to work!” she commanded firmly. At her order, people began to disperse.

She stalked over to Toby, untied him, then pushed him down and threw a mop at him. “Clean this shit up.” she motioned to the huge mess Negan made. “If I’m not satisfied, you’re losing all your points.”

Despite feeling outright terrible, Negan smiled at that. He could always count on Arat and Simon to take charge and get stuff done. Not only that, but people listened to them.

Negan was rather unsteady on his feet, but he insisted that he didn’t need any assistance. He wasn’t an elderly woman who needed help crossing the street, he was a grown ass man. He could take care of himself. Still, Simon followed him anyway to make sure he didn’t pass out, which Negan was secretly grateful for. He’d never admit it though.

Once they arrived at the door to Negan’s bedroom, Simon addressed him.

“So, I’ve got to ask,” he began. “Should I head down to Alexandria and pick up that priest? The one with the creepy smile? Father Gabriel, right? I think an exorcism might be in order, because that was seriously some demonic possession style level shit back there!”

“Simon, I feel like shit that took a shit, ate said shit, and puked that shit right back up. That’s what I feel like right now.” Negan ranted. “But if I suddenly start speaking ancient Latin or bringing Rick supplies instead of taking them, then by all means, summon the preacher.”

His mind flashed to Rick, and he wondered what the man would think of him now, pitifully sick and covered in his own vomit. Rick would probably get off on it, or at least laugh hysterically. Maybe he’d even swipe Lucille and use her to put Negan out of his misery.

He sent Simon to find him some anti nausea medicine, or at least some Pepto Bismol, then slunk into his room. A hot shower was in order. When he wasn’t feeling well a long hot shower usually made him feel better, even if the relief was only temporary. He rinsed his mouth out to get rid of the acrid puke taste, then strode over to the shower and cranked on the hot water.

A scalding hot shower followed by a nap sounded like heaven. Hopefully he’d feel a little better afterwards, or at least well enough to drink some water. He didn’t want to get dehydrated. He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and was taken aback at how pale he was. He almost looked dead. Maybe he should have Simon fetch Father Gabriel after all.

He chuckled weakly at the thought of himself tied to a bed as Gabriel stood over him, thrusting a crucifix in his face and shouting “DEMON! Exit this man’s body! The power of Christ compels you! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!” It would be pretty badass.

The water coming from the shower was so hot that steam was rising from the shower head, but that’s exactly what Negan wanted at the moment. He stripped off his soiled clothes and stepped in. Once the water hit him, he relaxed and felt a tiny bit better. He’d be fine in no time.

The shower had helped for all of twenty minutes. The relief he’d felt gradually faded away once he’d shut the water off, stepped out and changed into clean clothes. The nausea slowly came crawling back, wrecking havoc on his insides once more. It wasn’t long before he felt genuinely nauseous again.

At the moment, Negan was sitting on one of the small couches in his room with his head in his hands and a plastic bucket between his feet. As sick as he felt, he was stuck in that awful limbo where he wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up or not. He considered using the old finger down the throat trick but wasn’t sure if it would help much. Chances are he was going to feel absolutely terrible until whatever was causing this was filtered out of his system.

There was a knock at the door, and before Negan gave permission, it swung open to reveal Simon and Eugene.

“Hey buddy! How are you feeling?” Simon beamed at him.

Negan only groaned in response. A pink object was thrust in front of him. It was a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

“Here you go. Pepto Bismol, just as requested. I even got you a wine glass so you can drink it in style.” Simon added.

Eugene, who was holding a container in his hands, stepped towards Negan.

“It is my understanding that you likely cannot retain food and will not be able to for roughly twelve to twenty four hours. However it is imperative that you stay nourished, so I have taken it upon myself you offer you some leftovers. Sardine macaroni, made by yours truly.”

The scientist removed the lid and held the steaming bowl out to Negan.

The yellowish grey macaroni was loaded up with shriveled, oily sardines and the occasional fish eye or fin sliver here and there. Negan stared at it with repugnance for a second before the overwhelming fish smell coming from it flipped the switch on his nausea and triggered another vomiting episode.

Negan gagged and bent forward as he threw up all over the floor between his feet, somehow missing the bucket completely. Acting quickly, he picked it up and held it in his lap, getting it in place right in time to send another wave of puke splashing into it. He just barely got it all inside.

“Damn. How do you have anything left inside you?” Simon commented as he looked on with amusement. The expression on his face implied he was enjoying the show, perhaps in a very inappropriate way.

Eugene gave him a strange look as he realized that the lieutenant seemed overly interested in watching the lead savior puke his guts out. He couldn’t decipher why someone would get exited about that, but then again he had many odd quirks of his own.

Negan was too busy throwing up to notice that, so he responded by raising his middle finger at Simon. It was all he could do at the moment. His whole body lurched as an agonizing retch tore through him and more brown liquid poured from his mouth. By this point it was all liquid, except for a few solids that had been lurking in the very bottom of his stomach. It tasted truly awful and burned his throat as it came up. He heaved twice more before he was done. He had filled the bucket about a third of the way, and set it on the floor when he was sure no more was coming.

He flopped back and let himself sink into the couch. There was no word in existence intense enough to accurately describe how bad he felt. He didn’t know how it was possible, but he somehow felt even worse than he had before. The nausea wasn’t subsiding, his throat felt like it was on fire, his head was pounding, his eyes were watering and he still felt dizzy as well. He shut his eyes and remained silent for a minute before finally speaking.

“Eugene,” he began, gesturing at the offending bowl of sardine macaroni, “Get that shit away from me, or else I will projectile vomit all over you and you’ll be washing my lunch out of that fine mullet of yours.”

Eugene, not wanting to risk damage to his hair, promptly closed the lid on the bowl. “Fair enough. Sardines are a very particular brand of acquired taste. But if you ever change your mind, the offer is still on the table.”

“I think my face says it all when I say I’m a bit confused. Tell me, what would possess a sane man to think that sardines belong in mac and cheese? Why would you do that?” Simon asked him in a bewildered fashion.

“Because I like sardines.” Eugene explained. “Wether you find them palatable morsels of mercury infused goodness or downright appalling is irrelevant. Because at the end of the day, I did not make this for you.”

“Hey! One of you two assholes want to get me some water? Or are you just going to let me die?” Negan piped up from his position on the couch.

As if by magic, the door opened up again, this time signaling Arat’s arrival. She was holding a couple bottles of spring water. She looked from Negan to the partway full bucket to the puke on the floor and cringed a bit.

“You look like shit,” she said bluntly. “You’re not going to die on us, are you?”

“I might, Arat. I might. I am completely fucking out of commission. You’re in charge until I get better. These two,” he gestured to Eugene and Simon, “are going to take care of me.” Negan explained. He was laying on his back now, with half closed eyes.

Arat blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Negan nodded. “Go ahead. Pick up Lucille. Just remember to treat her like she’s your best friend in the whole world, and everything will be great. She’s a fickle mistress. She won’t tell you if she gets thirsty, so that’s up to you to figure out.”

The woman walked over to where Lucille was propped up against the wall. She picked the bat up, gave it a few test swings and smiled.

“Nice. I can see why you love her so much. Don’t worry, I’ll treat her like the magnificent lady she is.” Arat complimented. Though what she didn’t say was that she planned on referring to ‘her’ as ‘him’ or ‘Adrian’ as long as the bat was in her hands. She swung Adrian over her shoulder and gave Negan a bottle of water. “Here. Get better, and don’t die. This place needs you.”

With that, she turned and sauntered from the room.

The cool water felt amazing running down Negan’s irritated throat. He could feel the cold travel down his throat and spread through his stomach. Unfortunately, the euphoria was quickly replaced by nausea as his body swiftly began to reject the liquid.

“Oh god fucking damnit.” He bolted upright, swiped the bucket from the floor, and promptly threw up all the water he just drank.

Eugene awkwardly stared at Simon, who was starting to fidget as he watched Negan puke up all the water. It dawned on him that the other man was not repulsed, but aroused, which puzzled him greatly. He chose not to comment on it for the time being, but decided to amuse himself with a little experiment. He took the bucket away from Negan, who collapsed back onto the couch.

“Caring for others is not exactly my forte. I’ve always stayed in my own lane, and looked out only for me, myself and I. You could say that I’m selfish and be correct in that assumption. However, you have provided me with safety, shelter and all the ingredients I need to make my infamous sardine macaroni. Thus, after I dispose of the rather revolting contents of this pail I am going to scrounge around for some books. Medical books, to be precise. After reading up on the subject, I will do my best to lead you to a speedy recovery.”

Negan felt far too bad to even consider protesting as the scientist left the room, leaving him alone with Simon, who was doing his best to hide the very obvious hard on he had. He’d never hear the end of it if anyone found out that he got off on watching Negan vomit. He deliberately thought about unpleasant things, such as Fat Joey doing jumping jacks naked, to ward off the arousal. It worked.

Like Eugene, Simon wasn’t exactly the world’s best care taker. But, Negan was both his boss and his best friend, so he was going to try even though caring for people, or even just being nice, wasn’t in his nature. He practically had to drag Negan off the couch and onto the bed, as the other man wasn’t putting in any effort what so ever.

“You are way heavier than you look.” he panted as he dropped Negan onto the bed.

Even though he felt worse than he’d ever felt in his life, Negan managed a small snicker. “I wanted to see if you’d actually pick me up and carry me.”

For the next half hour or so, he remained sprawled out over the bed as Simon stayed with him and made sure he was alright. He laid motionless, completely unmoving until the urge to puke wormed its way back yet again. He didn’t even curse this time.

Actually getting up and walking into the bathroom was going to be the difficult part. He had no energy at all, as even moving his head was a strenuous task. By the time he managed to partially sit up, it was already too late. He clasped his hand over his mouth, but it did nothing to stop the acid that was starting to rise. He retched and yellowish bile cascaded over his fingers and onto the white T shirt he was wearing. Having accepted defeat, he rolled onto his side and puked all over his bedsheets. He didn’t even try to get off the bed. Well past the point of caring, he simply laid there as waves of bile gushed from his mouth. In the midst of heaving he heard a sharp gasp come from beside the bed, then what sounded like no followed by a string of obscenities.

Negan dry heaved a couple times, then moaned and curled up into a ball. He didn’t even care that he was covered in his own vomit for the second time today. Nor did he care who saw him or who knew. He, the big bad wolf, had essentially been reduced to a defenseless pup and he felt too shitty to give even a fraction of a crap about it. Hell, Rick could be standing over him, Lucille in hand, about to give him a taste of his own medicine and he wouldn’t care. That’s how awful he felt. The nausea was finally beginning to recede a little, but he was in a lot of pain due to the sheer amount he had thrown up over the past couple hours. He thought he may have broken some sort of world record. He felt like he had at least a dozen acid tipped knives stuck in various places around his guts and throat. Even breathing hurt.

“Am I dead yet?” he groaned hoarsely. His voice was somewhat muffled as his face was buried in one of the pillows.

“No.” Simon looked flustered but also concerned for Negan’s well being. He awkwardly shifted position.

“How about now?”

“No.”

“Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you just cum in your pants?”

“.......n....yes.....”

“I knew it.”

Simon wasn’t a prudish or easily frazzled person, but he suddenly found himself unable to look at Negan and wished that a walker would sneak up on him and rip his throat out.

“I don’t blame you,” Negan said deliriously. He was so exhausted and worn out that he was falling asleep despite the intense pain. “Because....”

He trailed off for a second, on the verge of sleep.

“....every fucking thing I do is hot.”

[shay-del-rey]

Yayo: Part III | Sweet Pea x Reader

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 1784

A/N: Guys, I am so happy with all the feedback I have gotten for this fic. I hope you enjoy this part as much as I loved writing it!! Enjoy xx

Taglist: @eves-library @bitchincap @ninjasbananasmonkeys @thequeenmelissa @yellow-wildflowers @harika89 @vexingfelon @swxxt-pxa @xsnak-3x  @jasmienemien @penisprkr

Fic dedicated to the lovely @penny4thoughts! Your encouraging words give me the motivation to write. 

You have to take me right now, from this dark  trailer park

Put me onto your black motorcycle, fifties baby doll dress for my 'I do"

- Lana Del Rey

“ROUGH night?” you asked Sweet Pea as he slid into the empty seat beside you during Math class.

You became concerned when you saw his hands marred by cuts. He also had a split lip.

“Something like that,” he answered, turning to look at you. His right eye was swollen.

You lifted a hand before you could stop yourself, brushing gently over his injuries as his breath hitched.

“What happened?” you asked as you took his hands in yours, your fingers brushing gently over his bruised knuckles in an attempt to provide comfort.

He sighed. “Some Ghoulies tried to get the jump on us last night. Fangs and I were outnumbered but we beat the shit out of them.”

“Did you at least see a doctor?”

“It’s nothing. Besides, I don’t need it.”

“You’re an idiot, Pea. There’s nothing wrong with seeking medical help after getting injured.”

“I’ll wait until you’re a doctor so you can treat me, Doc L/N.”

You could not help but smile. Since that night in the diner, you and Pea had hung out quite a lot. It was during a random outing to the quarry that you had confided in him about your dream to go to medical school.

He was surprisingly supportive. When you asked him about his plans for the future, he had shut himself off, muttering about being a Serpent lifer.

It had hurt you that this amazing boy felt so poorly about his future but you knew it would take him time and encouragement to open up to you.

It was also during this moment you found the simplest way to show your affection. Your first kiss with Pea was everything you hoped it would be. Sweet, sensual and striking.

Your heart could not stop racing when he had fisted his hands in your hair and roughly claimed your mouth, biting your lip as he marked you as his.

You snapped out of your thoughts when his phone rang.

Pea scowled before answering.

You turned your attention to the book in front of you, trying to solve the calculus problem when he sighed loudly.

“Everything okay?”

“Just some bullshit. So listen, you going to that thing tomorrow night?”

You smirked. “Sweetie, there are a lot of things on tomorrow. What are you talking about?”

His cheeks turned red before he coughed. “That...thing that teenagers go to.”

Playing dumb, you responded. “You mean, a party?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Okay, Y/N. I know you’re not dumb. I’m talking about the dance.”

Feigning understanding, you replied. “Ah, the annual Southside High formal. I can’t believe they still have that. What about it?”

“Do you wanna go with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“So...that a yes?”

“Yes, you lump. Pick me at 7?”

The bell sounded just then and before you could stop him, he took your bag and carried it outside.

“7 sounds fine. Should I bring something?”

“Just yourself.”

He looked amused for some reason, before advancing towards you as you stepped backwards until your back hit the lockers.

Sweet Pea towered over you, a smirk on his lips as he braced himself with one hand above your head while the other played with a strand of your hair.

“Your old man chatted with me the other day.”

“Oh yeah? What about?”

“He mentioned all the ways he’ll kill me if I screwed us up.”

“Well, that’s not fair. I could screw us up too.”

“Somehow, I doubt that, Princess.”

He leant down when you laid a finger on his advancing lips.

“We’re in the hallway, Pea.”

“I don’t give a damn, baby,” was the only thing he said before his lips met yours in a heated kiss. His hands circled your waist and brought you closer to his leather-clad body. He deepened the kiss when you squirmed and broke away from him.

“Ugh, I hate you,” you said, dropping a chaste kiss on his kiss-swollen lips as he smirked.

“I like you too.”

YOU had just finished painting your lips ruby red when the sound of engines rumbled outside. You glanced at the clock and saw that it was 7 already. Picking up your clutch, you stood to survey yourself one last time before stepping outside.

A peach lace bodycon dress adorned your body, with your hair down in curls and your feet encased in strappy heels that gave you an overall simple yet chic look.

You had gone light on the make-up, choosing to play up your best asset – lips – for the night. You were fairly certain Pea would appreciate it too.

Stepping outside, you were greeted with the sight of Pea listening to your mother ramble on. In her hands was a bouquet of stargazer lilies, which she looked happy to receive.

Pea looked up when you came into view, his jaw dropping as he dragged his eyes over your body, his gaze heating.

You took the time to study him too. His ever present Serpents jacket was on his back once again, but he was dressed in a white shirt and fitted black jeans with combat boots.

Frankly, he looked good enough to eat.

“Damn, Princess,” he breathed out.

Your mother snorted and hugged you. “Beautiful. You want a coat?”

“I’m good. We’re heading out now.”

You bade farewell to your mother after complimenting the bouquet, reminding her to put the flowers in water before heading out, surprised to see Pea leaning against his bike.

“I know, I know. I should’ve brought the pick-up but I kinda borrowed that from Fangs and his date is a prissy missy who didn’t want to spoil her fancy hairdo but I’m so sorry –”  

You cut him off before he could ramble further. “Don’t worry about it. Besides, I get to be close to you this way. And do this.”

You straddled the bike as your dress rode up, exposing your thigh to his hungry gaze. Just as he was distracted, you nibbled the skin near his tattoo, much to his pleasure.

“You, hellcat, are going to be the death of me,” he said.

“By the way, nice gesture. Flowers for my mum?”

He smirked. “I can be nice.”

You snorted and held on tight after finally wearing your helmet as he tore out of the trailer park, the two of you becoming a blur in the night time.

UNDERSTANDABLY, the Southside High formal was a nightmare.

Two drugged up teens had brought knives to the event (which had somehow bypassed security) and ended up stabbing each other, bringing to an end the school’s only social event.

The night was still young and Carla and Justine had opted to attend a party at some warehouse downtown. They had extended the invite to you and Pea but you had refused.

Instead, you decided to head to the Whyte Wyrm and though he refused to show it, you knew Pea was happy with your choice.

As you entered, he shrugged off his jacket to place it on your shoulders.

“Just so they know you’re mine, baby doll.”

You rolled your eyes and followed as he led you in the bar, hand in hand. Loud music, conversation and cigarette smoke filled the air as you entered.

You scanned the room to see if there was someone you recognised. There were plenty of faces you were familiar with, as a lot of them had visited your dad when you all lived together.

Speaking of your dad...

“Y/N! I don’t think you’re supposed to be here,” he said, approaching to give you a hug.

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“So, you didn’t go to the dance?”

“We did but it was cancelled early.”

He chuckled and then made a zipping motion. Pretty soon, his gaze fell on your and Pea’s entwined hands. Your father’s gaze hardened.

“You better treat my daughter like the princess that she is, or I’ll break your fucking legs, boy.”

To his credit, Pea remained cool.

“Yes, Sir.”

Seemingly satisfied, he turned to you. “No drinking. I’ll be around if you need me.”

He left and Pea breathed a sigh of relief. “Wanna play pool?”

“I don’t know how. But I can cheer you on?”

“I can teach you?”

You reached up to kiss him chastely. “Some other time, babe. I really want to see you play.”

And he played. For the first time, you got to see Pea in his element, just being a regular boy, joking with his friends, egging on his fellow competitors and kicking butt at pool at the same time.

You were so enamoured with him that you didn’t see Toni sliding in the seat next to you.

“If you two don’t stop giving each other fuck-me eyes, Old Man L/N’s gonna have a real problem,” she said, smirking.

“Hello to you too, Topaz.”

“So, I hear you and Pea are boinking.”

“Does anyone even use that word anymore? And the term you’re looking for is dating.”

“Hey, I’m all for it. Lord knows that boy needs some serious loving. Jokes aside, though. I’m glad you gave him a chance. If you break his heart though, you and I will have words.”

“Pea means too much to me. I would never do that to him.”

“Good. So maybe you can tell Miss Big Titties over there to stop flirting with your man. You’ve got Serpent blood in you. Let it run wild.”

You spun your head so fast you swore you heard a crack. There she was, some blonde wearing cheap make-up and rubbing herself against Pea who looked very uncomfortable with the situation.

You grit your teeth as you walked towards the duo before standing in front of them, using his dog tags to pull Pea to your height and stake your claim.

You forgot how long you kissed but when you broke away, the whole bar had erupted in cheers and wolf whistles.

You turned to the girl in front of you.

“Sorry, sugar. This one’s taken.”

She smirked, bowed her head minutely and walked away in search of new prey. Meanwhile, Pea was still looking at you in bewilderment.

“What?” you asked him.

“That was honestly so hot.”

“You said I was yours. Don’t forget that you’re mine too.”

His chocolate hues darkened with lust. “Oh baby doll, the things I want to do to you right now...” he muttered.  

You bit your lip. “Only...right now?”

He groaned. “Now...and forever, if you’ll have me.”

And you fell. Hard.

“You wanna get out of here?”

[cheneyq]

The UpsideDownWhat? (Steve Harrington xx)

THIS COULD BE A SERIES - This Depends on the amount of replies and likes the first chapter gets.

Parts - One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten

Short Description - The reader thinks Steve is cheating because he keeps bailing on your plans to meet up, one night you follow him and find him at Nancy’s house. Steve and Nancy explains what’s going on and you’re left with the information of the Upside Down.

Pairing - Steve + reader

Warnings - Swearing + Sexual remarks and scenes (Smut - not it this chapter though.) + Violence

(A/n) - This is my first attempt of writing an imagine series. If you could maybe comment at the end of this or just send me a message to tell me if it is good and if you want to find out the readers reaction when seeing the demodog for the first time.

Words - 1342 (Kinda short sorry guys)

I DO REQUESTS!!!!! - Fandoms mainly include: Stranger things + Supernatural  + Dexter + Vampire Diaries + The Originals + Teen Wolf + Tru Blood etc. (I do A lot more, just didn’t want to type every one.)

I hope you enjoy this!

You watched as Steve drove off, he was clearly upset when he hung up his phone and hastily explained to you why he had to leave, even though he couldn’t tell you who he was going to meet up with. You can't take this anymore, you have been together for almost two months and you know it’s not that long, but you just can't help the idea that he is cheating on you.

   Today has been the third time he’s left to go help some person who he doesn’t want to mention, and he says that he cannot explain as to why he is going to this person and what is going on because it could put you in danger. “Fuck it.” you mumbled as you grabbed your car keys and ran out to your car.

You pulled out of the drive way and sped to meet up with Steve’s car, but keeping a good distance. If you were not mistaken the road he was taking was leading up to Nancy’s house. You couldn’t take it, not that, not her. Tears were threatening to spill as Steve’s car pulled into her driveway. You didn’t stop, you didn’t even look at him as he climbed out of the car. Your eyes were focused in front of you as you made your way back to your house.

(NEXT DAY) 

You woke up the next morning still angry at everything and everyone, how could Steve do this to you? You couldn’t even think straight as you got dressed and moved through the house like a zombie, you grabbed an apple and barely said goodbye to your parents.

  The drive to school went slowly, and the music was also not helping. It is as if every song that came up made you feel even worse about yourself. You sighed at the feeling of your heart getting heavier, it was pulling your spirit down with it. You pulled in to the parking lot, you were not prepared to face Steve. What if he wasn’t even cheating, what if she just really needed help? You forced yourself to hope for the later.

You spotted Steve’s car in his usual spot and the anger returned instantly. He climbed out of his car just as yours stopped. You grabbed your books and got out, “(Y/n)!” Steve called but you ignored him and headed straight for the building. You were not emotionally strong enough to speak to him right now. “(Y/n)!” he called again but you were not going to give in that easily.

  He grabbed your wrist right before you reached your locker. “(Y/n) what the hell?” Steve leaned on your locker and tried making eye contact, but you refused. “(Y/n) speak to me, please.” He half begged. You slammed your locker shut and stared at him, causing a few of the other students to turn and stare at you.

 “How was last night?” Steve looked confused. “What?” You shook your head. “Do not try and to play dumb with me, asshole.” You hissed and turned around, almost bumping in to someone. Your blood boiled when your eyes landed on Nancy’s face. “Ah, just the shithead I wanted to see! Hope you had fun with my boyfriend last night.” You said, a little bit too loudly, which caused you to feel embarrassed when people started whispering, so you blushed.

“Excuse me?” She asked in her annoying voice, clinging onto her books, eyes darting between you and Steve. “Forget it, you two deserve each other.” You mumbled and stepped away. Suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you in to a closet, you turned around to see Steve and Nancy both staring at you. “What the hell.” You exclaimed, kidnapping was not on your list for today.

  Steve pulled his fingers through his hair and looked at Nancy. “I can't lie to her anymore. So, are you going to explain, or should I?” He asked, standing with his hands on his hips. She looked deep in thought. “Listen, I don’t want to know who kissed who first or where they touched each other, I'm out.” You sassed and tried to leave but Steve blocked your way, his hand reached for your face, but you pulled away. You could’ve sworn you saw pain flash in his eyes. “Listen here you dickhead, you are going to sit your ass down and just listen to what we are trying to say to you, or so help me God! I am not cheating!” Steve started to get angry, so you just listened and did what he said. You felt annoyed that he called you a dickhead though.

(Almost three hours later.)

 “I've already missed three of my classes just to listen to this ‘upside down’ bullshit story?” You questioned standing up, your heart was racing. Secretly you did believe the stuff they were saying, even if it was crazy. “Are you kidding me?” Steve exclaimed and threw his hands up in the air, over exaggerating. “Do you want proof?” Nancy asked you with a straight face. “Obviously.” You replied, moving your head in the way that can only be described as a bobbly head. 

“Then let’s go, my brothers friend, Dustin has this lizard thing he found and it’s locked up in his bedroom.” Steve frowned. “How do you know that?” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag. “Mike, duh.” She then left the room, leaving you alone with Steve. You picked up your bag and hanged it over your shoulder. “Well, I'm not going to miss another class, see you later.”

   You stepped forward to leave the room, but Steve stepped in front of you. “(Y/n).” He said softly, reaching for your face. You allowed him to touch you. His hand was warm against your skin, and the heat spread to the rest of your body. “I'm sorry.” You blurted out. Steve just nodded his head, “Yeah, I know. It was kind of funny when you called Nancy a shithead though.” He chuckled softly, now bringing both hands to your face. 

He leaned in slowly, “I can't believe you called me a dickhead, you dickhead.” You mumbled. Saying that to him made him burst out laughing. His beautiful face breaking into that heart melting smile that you loved. “You sure are beautiful.” You mumbled. Steve’s cheeks turned a very light shade of pink. “Stop that bullshit.” He smiled. “We all know who’s the real beauty here.” He said and snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer and making you smile. “I don’t know, who?” You asked and looked around the room. He didn’t say anything, he just pressed his lips firmly to yours, taking your breath away.

[masterserris]

the rise of skywalker = good

spoilers under cut you were warned

we love sheev the movie

best movie? no. room for improvement? yes. a really good movie overall and the characters were good and made overall good/decently logical choices? absolutely.

 fin good. i love him. and the obvious hint he can use the force is 10/10 he did so much work in this movie. i like poe/fin or rey/fin. or all three together, fuck it, they all hugged in the end anyways

poe is good he’s a good boy him and finn are so good. poe gets a lot of development and care and we love that he struggles but loves his friends and wins in the end by believing in others to come. (he did think they lost but only for a second. he was proven right that people would come. thanks lando we appreciate you here.)

rey is amazing and her growth/struggle is great i love that she’s a palpatine that’s so metal. and she stays good oough yess. palpatine wins in the end? or at least A palpatine? the only survivor? no more sith OR jedi. just. rey palpatine and any other new force users like fin. FINALLLY, evil wins! kinda lmao hahhaahhaha

i like how technically the series stared with palpatine and ended with rey. 

it started with a slave child in the desert (anakin) who became dark, and ended with a child soldier in the dark who became light at the end (ben)

-

the sheev-ening. we love emperor step peppers. he’s so good in this. force storm ya’ll!! 

“hiS pLaN MakEs nO sEnSe!!1!”

shut tf up. either he possesses rey once she killed him, or he sucks the life outta her and restores himself once he found out about that bond power with ben or force healing whatever it was if she refused (like he did), or just kills her and sends his troops out to take everything over like. that’s not a bad plan bro. he wins either way. the only reason he lost is because the dummy killed himself with his own force lighting (AGAIN, DIDNT YOU LEARN FROM EPISODE 3 OLD MAN????). she did not strike him down, she defended. he killed himself, technically. she pulled a luke in that sense. it was not the jedi way. (though i guess by the end she is neither sith nor jedi)

plus he made an armada in secret the man was geared for success and had access to cloning tech too, as shown by snoke. if he couldnt have rey, he would have cloned himself or some shit. he has space voodoo, the man is scary and i love him for it. 

-

ben was. ok. kylo was much more intimidating and straight forward with his actions at least. and ben switching sides made sense. what i didnt like was his ending very much. why tf did he and rey kiss????? they were enemies for 2 and 3/4 movies. they didnt even speak until he showed up to help fight palpatine. 

there is a bit of tension but not romantic whatever, he just poofed once he resurrected rey anyways. rip all skywalkers 2019

she is an adopted skywalker and that’s nice.

side tangent bc i’ve been seeing some fans crying over ben’s death, which i get it if you are a big fan of him:

((i guess i was just way more invested into rey as a character than ben solo. he was. there. he was alright, i could see the struggle but the tone-shift from TLJ really threw things wack and i just ended up not caring too much when he died unforntuately. i wish i did more. i mean it was sad, it would have been neat if he lived, but i kinda saw it coming as soon as rey “died”

im like, oh, he’s gonna climb up bc of course he’s fine and then save her since he saw her use force healing, so he’s gonna try it. he’s resurrecting the dead so it’s either gonna kill him or really make him weak. we got the former so. yeah. it was anticipated kinda. leia dying was much more emotional for me i guess. the love between her and her son was way more impactful than ben and rey. 

like i said!! they were enemies for so long!! he tried to reach out, but he was a slimey dark side bitch who was trying to convert her and she knew it and wasnt down with that shit!! that aint romantic ya’ll!! christ! he was only good for 20 minutes before he died and they didnt even talk before he just showed up! if they had more time really getting into it and if he was good and reached out to her to talk, that would have been way better and more convincing is all im saying. 

sure they fought together on snoke’s ship and talked, but it was still very. scary for rey. and then he attacked her friends and rebellion again! bitch, why did she kiss him!?

nothing against reylo shippers, i really dont care, that’s your business, i personally enjoy fin/rey much more, im just saying it seems forced in this situation. they tried to kill each other so many times. that’s animosity, not love.))

WHERE WAS ANAKIN AND OBI FORCE GHOST UGH. at least we got all of the voices of the jedi past helping rey in the climax that was awesome (including jin, obi, yoda, anakin, luke, leia, ect)

yeah also rip leia. she should have died in the second movie but she was good in this and it really hit the feels since carrie is... dead for real.

luke was good in this!!!! helpful boy!!! nice boy!!! i liked the flash back to when he trained leia it was so sweet to see them young again, if only for a moment.

the han solo scene was good ough my heart. 

all of the character’s choices were overall good and made sense in the scheme of things, everything was streamlined bc it had to be.

it kinda felt like 2 movies crammed into 1 but it kinda worked and that makes sense bc of TLJ’s.... choices and changes in direction. 

i dont think this movie was a train wreck. it’d place it as my 3rd fav star wars movie. for now, i may shift things around but you get the idea.

my current rankings so far for main line live action sw movies 

(rogue one would be at 4 along with revenge of the sith and i didnt care enough to see solo.)

1. empire strikes back (obvious pick)

2. a new hope (luke is best boy)

3. rise of skywalker (as listed above)

4. revenge of the sith (clone wars show really got me to like older anakin. and obi is just. 10/10 in general. speaking of generals, i love grievous. and commander rex. rip all clones and jedi tho. F)

5/6. return of the jedi/force awakens (about even) 

[the thing about return of the jedi is that the ending whole section with the death star and vader and palpatine and the struggle against jabba were really good! it just a lot of other stuff is... meh in the film]

7. the last jedi (sorry had to do it to ya. also rip Phasma)

8/9. phantom menace/attack of the clones (ya’ll know why)

im so glad im rewatching the clone wars show it was so good and oughghghg so good. i love the clones so damn much and everyone so much

star wars good ya’ll

anyways, i already loved palpatine and im just wildin’ right now we love a emperor. a queen. a bad bitch you cant kill. just vibin. like damn, iconic. he said “do it” and everything. a meme legend and godsend

in sheev we trust. you belong with sheev. real sheev hours. the sheev-ening. palpatine-ception. you name it, we vibe with it

NOW I WANT A NICE AU WHERE THE CHARACTERS LIVE AND PALPATINE IS JUST A GRANDDAD. scary but nice granddad to rey or some shit. anakin is still around, they are all still around. just silly fun alright?

LMFAO ROTTEN TOMATOES PUTS IT AT A 56% BUT HAS AN AUDIENCE RATHING OF 86% WTF LMFAOOOO THESE PEOPLE ARE HACKS

the reverse of TLJ and i can see why the stupid irony lmFAO

the “thank you rian johnson” tag trending on twitter is wack and it’s dumb. his movie was dumb ya’ll. that’s my take and im not alone. im not some crazy hardcore fan either nor do i care that much about the politics or what ever. the characters in TLJ made REALLY dumb decisions that got their butts kicked and people killed over and over and it was not fun to watch everyone being dumb and dying, alright? wack. bad vibes. 

i didn’t care for the “thank you jj abrams” tag either bc both tags ended up just being one taking pot-shots at the other and it was full of nasty vibes. just a lot of negative bullshit and only a few good comments just saying what they liked about those movies. i appreciate when people just say they like something. even if it’s something i PERSONALLY dont like, it’s neat to see. but when people bitch and moan, even if i agree personally, it isnt that fun. it’s annoying as hell, esp if it’s mostly unfounded or just repeated a million times.

like months later, or also about something from years ago, people still havent shut up about it. that’s when i get pissed off. like, sure, hate something. say you hate it, whatever. your blog your platform, go off queen, but then shut up please and dont drag it out forever. people dont like negativity so expect people to leave your ass behind if you keep at it. or get blocked or whatever. 

negative shit all the time just aint a good look is all im saying. just love what you love and show it. it’s nice. the good part about fandoms is sharing love for media.

but hey, it’s your life. you do whatever, who am i to say anything?