#i still look at this and am like. how. no like literally HOW. how did they look at this and not be like

[p0orbaby]

If your still doing blurbs, could I request something with Leah x Reader, Leah being drunk, like smashed, could literally be anything.

-

It starts with “just a couple of drinks” at some fancy bar Leah swears up and down she won’t enjoy. She’s not even supposed to be drinking—training starts Monday—but someone ordered tequila shots, and Leah has the willpower of a toddler in a sweet shop.

By the time you show up to collect her, she’s perched on a stool, gesturing wildly about something to Katie, who’s cackling like a banshee. Leah spots you instantly.

“Baaabe!” she slurs, nearly toppling off the stool in her enthusiasm.

Katie snorts. “She’s all yours”

You sigh, already sensing this is going to be a long night. “Leah, what did we say about tequila?”

“That it’s the devil’s drink,” she says solemnly, like she’s reciting scripture. Then she grins. “But I tamed the devil!”

She has not tamed the devil. She’s lost a very public battle with it.

You take her arm, but she’s too busy rummaging in her pocket. “Wait, wait, I got something for you”

“Oh, God”

She produces a crumpled napkin with what looks like someone’s phone number scribbled on it. “This guy tried to chat me up,” she says proudly. “I told him I had a girlfriend who could bench-press him”

“Romantic,” you deadpan, shoving the napkin back in her pocket.

Leah grins. “You’re welcome”

The walk home is even worse. She insists on stopping every five minutes to either a) pet a dog, b) tell a stranger they have “great vibes,” or c) try to climb something.

“Babe, get down,” you hiss as she attempts to scale a lamppost.

“I’m reclaiming my childhood!”

“You’re going to reclaim a concussion”

Eventually, you manage to bundle her into a taxi, where she spends the entire ride insisting the driver “looks just like Pep Guardiola” and trying to play footsie with you despite the fact that you’re sitting next to each other.

When you finally get her home, she collapses onto the sofa dramatically. “I’m starving,” she announces.

“You’ve had chips and a kebab,” you point out.

“I could eat again”

You leave her to wrestle with her hunger demons while you grab a glass of water and some paracetamol. When you return, she’s lying flat on the carpet like a starfish, mumbling about how the ceiling is “so big.”

“Alright, lightweight,” you say, kneeling beside her. “Time for bed”

“Can’t move,” she moans. “Floor’s my home now”

You roll your eyes but eventually manage to coax her into the bedroom. She flops onto the mattress with all the grace of a bag of wet cement, immediately trying to pull you down with her.

“Leah, you smell like a distillery”

“But I love you,” she says, her voice muffled by your shirt.

You can’t help but laugh. “I love you too, but you’re sleeping on your side. I am not cleaning up after you if you puke”

She grumbles something unintelligible but lets you tuck her in. By the time you turn off the light, she’s already snoring softly, one arm flung over your waist.

[unknown-cold]

In this interview Amanda said something that caught my attention. Do you think that in ep 8 Caitlyn will talk about what Jinx did to her when she kidnapped her? Bc Amanda said that in ep8 there's a Caitlyn line that will make us say "Oh so that's why"

Amanda means this line that Cait is going to say will let us know why she was so mad at Jinx in ep 3 and how Caitlyn went completely blind when she saw Jinx in her target and bc of her anger and also her fear and terror of Jinx, Cait has completely lost control of herself in this moment. (there is someone who made a post on this topic @loycos and talked about what happened to Cait in ep3 and how Cait didn't see Vi or Isha in front of her bc of her anger and her deeply terrified of Jinx) I mean look at her eyes and the expression on her face, yes she looks angry but she is also terrified.

This is a natural reaction. I mean for example, imagine that you see something that scares you so much. There are two reactions, either flight or fight, and these reactions always come without a person thinking. At this moment the person is only thinking about getting rid of the thing that scares him, and he does not focus on what is around him bc these strong feelings control him.

Anyway, what makes me sure that this scene might happen in ep 8 (Caitlyn talking about what happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her) is Reed Shannon (Ekko VA) comment when he saw the drawing and said "I thought this was a leak" Reed might be joking as usually, but why this particular drawing and why he chose this word "leak".

But honestly if this scene actually happened and we knew what happened to Caitlyn, it would make us understand more why she was so angry and scared of Jinx when she saw her in front of her and it would also explain why she literally went blind and didn't see anything around her at that moment, neither the child nor Vi, all Cait saw was Jinx, she just wants to bring down Jinx. I mean look at these pictures she is so terrified of her

Again Caitlyn's insistence on killing Jinx in the scene in ep 3 was not only motivated by revenge on Jinx, but also out of fear and terror of her.

And not like those idiots who say that Caitlyn wanted to kill the child on purpose to get to Jinx or even say that she wanted to kill Vi too, or bc she's a cop and the cops kill children and blah blah... That's really ridiculous and annoying!! Bc if we focus a little bit on the period that Caitlyn went through we will see that Cait didn't have time to process all these things that happened to her, from the torture that happened to her when Jinx kidnapped her, then the killing of her mother, then the attack on the memorial ceremony. (I know that Jinx is not the reason, but from Caitlyn's perspective she thinks that Jinx and the Silco followers are the reason)

And in the end I hope that no one comes who doesn't like the post bc I am defending Caitlyn's character. If you don't like this character I don't care, there is no need for you to write a stupid comments. Please don't tire your little fingers if you don't like my post block me this is better for you and me. I will not waste my time responding to you, I will delete your comment and block you immediately.

I am a student at the Faculty of Psychology, and when I talk about trauma and the interpretation of human behavior and reactions, I know well what I am talking about. Bc most of the characters' reactions in this show are very realistic and need to explanation, writers do not want to explain everything in the show, they want viewers to occupy their mind and explain the events themselves (And I still repeat the point that the show focuses on the development and complexity of the characters more than anything else, and does not focus on solving political issues, the show is not about politics, okay)

And btw some people ask me about my opinion of Jinx's character, I have no problem with her character at all, I like her and I understand her condition, when I criticize her actions, it doesn't mean I hate her.

One day I may do a post about her character development and her condition, but I see that there are many posts about her and her actions, and I feel like I won't say anything new about her. Unlike the rest of the characters like Vi and Caitlyn, there are not many people talking about them. And maybe I will make a Viktor post bc I really like the development of his character. When the show ends, maybe I will.

[nuggetpool-hi]

Guess who watched X-Men origins again

OK SO I got THOUGHTS of this movie but specially Wade's fight style because it's really similar to our current Deadpool's fighting style... so yeah I wanna yap about that hi

WELL FIRST OF wanna talk a lil about Victor, Logan and Wade's different styles... from a mortal's view point I am no expert on this just insane about these movies and I need to write my thoughts or i'll explode

Starting with Victor!! the ultimate kittycat girlypop

I love his kitty self I'm sorry ANYWAY EXAMPLES

OKAY SO VICTOR. Victor's style is obviously very animalistic but also stylized, he makes the fight a show for himself! He likes to hunt and he tries to always give chase or play around a bit before the kill, just like a cat playing with his food!

AND IF you pay attention to the start of the movie, this game he's got with his target isn't initially how he fought, he kinda developed it as the years went by and the eviler he got the more he played with his food. The first few wars he goes to he's fighting like a human soldier, then you can see him slip up some animal jumps and uses his claws more until at the end he's full on predator chasing his prey (just like when he captures Scott, my god I love that scene he's terryfing)

AND A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND LOGAN (that I will also talk about later I guess) is that with this play thing Victor has going on it SHOWS that he THINKS about the stragety when fighting, he's aware of his surroundings and his target's strenghs and weaknesses, he's good at coming up with solutions on the spot (see his fight with John, he can predict where he's going to teleport and catch him) and how to give a good chase without losing WHILE LOGAN WELL, at least in this movie he seems very lost when fighting?? he mostly just launches at his target and attacks, if the target runs away he chases, very animalistic but in a feral-based on instincts way... prolly why he coulnt win agaisnt Victor at first, because he was being blinded by his rage while Victor was quite literally playing with him lmao

ANYWAY LOGAN our favorite traumatized babygirl

and boy does he suffer in this one aughh EXAMPLES

Now you must be wondering why did I put the bathroom scene, well I feel like it represents Logan's general situation pretty well! (and its silly let me be), hes confused destroying everything and just keeps making it worse every time he tries to fix it.

The thing about Logan in this movie is that he's honestly just- confused and angry from the moment he killed his father, he runs away over and over again from EVERYTHING and he's constantly being manipulated BY EVERYONE!! Poor man has no idea what to do with himself of who he can actually trust but damn he tries, his enviroment is contantly changing and he's trying his best to adapt but he does it in a messy way.

The way he fights and acts in general is animalistic, yes, but more of the "scared dog attacks" kind of way, he's always acting on his instinct that it's mostly led by anger. When he fights he just throws himself and tries to slash whatever he can, he runs he hides and then when he gets the chance to he attacks again.

He constantly has little to no control of the situtation WHICH IS SPECIALLY SEEN pre-adamantium where he keeps losing to Victor because unlike him- he has no plan, he's being manipulated and kept blind of everything ON PURPOUSE which obviouly puts him in a disadvantage so yeah.

AFTER he gets the adamantium you can see his skills strengen with his knowledge, the more he lears about his situation the more focused he is and his fighting it's cleaner, he still moslty just launches himself head first into fights BUT he's not running away, he's able to evaluate his situation and adapt (See his fight with Gambit, he looks at him when running away and then destroys the stair so Gambit can't run away OR with Deadpool where he decides to gain height as a way to create the space needed to evaluate his enemy?? that one might be a lil bit of a stretch tho)

WADE WILSON THE ULTIMATE CUTIE PRINCESS

let's ignore how dirty they did him ok...

OKAY SO SADLY- The bullet scene is pretty much the only scene where we see him fight and it's honestly not enough to tell how his normal style is BUT I WILL SAY his general style is fancy to look at and scarily effective (which is mostly seen with our current Wade but you can see a bit in origins deadpool) he makes a show for everyone to see, which is also his stragedy to make himself even better at combat! He uses a lot of fancy movements and acrobatics that help him AND takes his enemies off-guard, confusing them as where they should attack or what he's going to hit?? anyway-

Comparison time yippieee THIS IS WHAT THIS POST IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT LMAO

I did not get side tracked idk what you mean.... and now seeing it over and over I'm realizing not that noticeable.... so it's just not that much to talk about oops

LOOK AT THIS WADE, LOOK AT THE MOVEMENTS HE DOES WITH HIS LEGS!! HIS HANDS??? THIS MAN IS SHOWING OFF he's using all kinds of acrobatics and fancy movements while fighting, he attacks with his hands and dodges using mostly his legs, he's using all he has!! and it's making Logan lose BECAUSE LOGAN CAN'T FOCUS!! specially since he's so "target locked will attack", Wade makes it SO HARD for him to focus on a pose long enough to actually stab him also Logan ain't too good at dodging, I'm guessing it could be because he heals? dunno

now what inmediately came to my mind upon rewatch was THIS scene (maybe because I saw it recently who knows)

THE SETTING IS SO SIMILAR!! Wade is using a lot of fancy movements to get up, dodge and attack all way too fast for Logan to process, once again Logan is looking everywhere confused about where to aim bc this silly red guy it's dancing on his face and he's struggling to keep up JUST LIKE IN ORIGINS except well he IS able to get a hit bahah

Dodges like crazy, jumps over Logan (he did in origins too) just moves a lot between every attack

Actually now that I think about it Wade feels a bit less effective in the car, like yes sure he's putting up a good fight but Logan still feels like he's leading it BECAUSE WADE IS MORE EFFECTIVE WHEN HE HAS MORE SPACE!! he likes to be able to move around and do gimnastics while Logan it's a lot better the closer he gets to his target so omg yeah... ALSO LIKE WADE STILL TRIES TO MOVE AROUND he shoves Logan away from him, he gets out of the car choking logan with a seatbelt and gets to the back, he tries to create space because that's where his speciality WHILE LOGAN keeps trying to get closer to have him in his power, which he gets to do since the car isn't allowing Wade to move as freely as he would want to...

AND YOU CAN SEE HIS FANCY MOVEMENTS WITH FRANCIS TOO he's constantly circuling him, dodging and spinning while Francis is just trying to get a hit, Wade keeps his enemies chasing him when he fight THAT'S the way he controls it and gets it wherever he wants aughh

ANYWAY YEAH I think that's it, don't really know how much sense any of this does since I've been writing it on-and off the whole day lmao it's so messy but yeah feel free to add onto it I'd love to see opinions on this wahoo

Might keep talking about stuff I find interesting in the movies bahah this has been funn

[cringefail-loser]

you are completely missing the point of the original tweet. She is not mad that there aren't other women in the dressing room, she's mad that she's not being treated the same as the other women in the dressing room. You have no proof that she's "getting off" to trying on bras or to being treated like a cis woman. It's very very clear that she simply wants to try on a bra, an experience that most cis girls get to have at a young age.

"[She] could’ve ordered online. It takes 30 seconds to measure yourself.

If you have breasts, you know how hard it is to order a well-fitting bra online. You usually have to buy a couple in a few different sizes, just to find the right one. It's not an easy process! My chest is on the smaller side, and it's still difficult to find the right one. Also, not to mention the experience that comes with bra-shopping in person! It's fun to go to the store and look at all the bras and find the right one for you that comes in your size and is in your favourite colour.

"Real women don't get upset that there's no one else in the Victoria's Secret changing rooms."

If you read the tweet, you'd notice that the woman who made it had to wait for the staff to remove all the women from the changing room. It's not like there just so happened to be no other women in the dressing room, they quite literally isolated her from the other women. Also, I'm sure that if you were forced to be away from the rest of the women in the changing room for no apparent reason, you would get upset too.

"I mean can you even imagine how fucking awkward that situation was for the women [she’s] sexually harassing and [she] doesn’t ever stop and go what the fuck am I doing?"

Oh I'm sure she knew how awkward it was. Imagine being ostracized for that, being called out for being trans in front of a bunch of people who probably didn't care in the first place. This same situation could happen just the same to a cis woman with a deep voice and a more masculine facial shape and build. You all would complain about how misogynistic it is for the VS staff to treat a woman like that. And you know what? It was already misogynistic! This trans woman could have just as likely been a cis woman with masculine features, and the staff had decided to separate her from everyone else just because of her features. THEY QUITE LITERALLY ASSUMED SHE WAS A TRANS WOMAN JUST BECAUSE OF NON-FEMININE FEATURES.

"Also as usual how does [she] know those women are 'cis'?"

You're right! She has no proof that these women in the changing rooms are cis women. But neither did the staff. As said previously, they just decided that she's trans, simply because she "looked like it". You terfs are always the ones to say "we can always tell", but here you are admitting that you can't just always tell. You ADMITTED that some trans women look like how society expects cis women to look.

"Maybe they just thought [she] was your run of the mill male predator?"

If they genuinely thought that, they probably would have kicked her out for being "creepy". But that didn't happen. They understood that she was there just to shop for a bra, but didn't want to let her in for whatever reason. (Most likely transphobia, but y'all always write that off as something that's not real, so I'm not even going to bother entertaining that idea.)

Non-Tumblr users weren't kidding when they said that you all have piss-poor reading comprehension.

[kindaasrikal]

“How old are you?”

Except it’s Lloyd panicking because he doesn’t know which age to say, and which age is right.

Just imagine him literally vibrating and sweating after Arin asks how old he is when he doesn’t know which age to say. Is there even a difference anymore.

“Do i say I’m 20? Or 25? Am i 20? Am i 25 but physically 30? I don’t wanna be 30. Am i 30?? What if I’m 30 mentally? Does that mean the others are above 40? They’re old. I’m old. Can i say I’m 16 again. I wanna be 16 again. Was i ever fully 16. This kid in front of me definitely is. If i tell him I’m 20 but i look 30 imagine how much of an L that is. I can’t do that. They’d think i aged like Wu. Or my dad. Oh no. Did I? What if I’m 20 but I look 60 but physically 25? What if-”

And then you have Arin still waiting patiently after five minutes. Before he learns spinjitzu, leaves Lloyd, and asks Ras that question instead.

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 5 Thoughts

(Except I'm insane about Martyn's ep)

LIFE SERIES TRIVIA is DIABOLICAL! The watchers literally being like "how well do you guys know your pain and suffering?" (also sorry only winners remember theory truthers)

The way Grian and Scar are such bitter ex-soulmates that Mumbo has to point it out is hilarious. (also them getting even and saying "Just like Third Life" hurt my heart)

Grian not remembering iconic moments from his own series is so funny. What do you mean he only knows Martyn beheaded Ren with an axe from fanart? Grian gaining possession of the Red Winter Axe was a whole plot point.

MUMBO FIRST OUT! IN SESSION 5! The canary curse is broken for real now guys but at what cost.

Grian standing on the ruins of the tower by himself going through the five stages of grief over Mumbo's death as the sun rises in the background is a gorgeous piece of fanart waiting to happen

Martyn you didn't need to start the episode by talking about how Ren is providing for you, you're asking for the shipping at this point 🤣

MARTYN YOU DO THE LORE OFC JIMMY AND TANGO WERE OUT FIRST. Also REN YOU WERE LITERALLY IN DOUBLE LIFE. RIP Ren/BigB we know where his true loyalties lie

THE TWO NICKLES MEME BREAKING CONTAINMENT I CAN'T

Ren inviting BigB to join the RenWood Mound alliance WITHOUT REMEMBERING DOUBLE LIFE is so insane I don't even know what to say.

OF COURSE SCAR REMEMBERS THE DESERT DUO FLOWERS I'M GOING TO BE SICK

Martyn and Ren saying they're going to be boat bros. This has been coming since last session but I NEED Joel and Etho to call them out on it

"We're boat boys," MARTYN INTHELITTLEWOOD WHEN I CATCH YOU-

Etho yelling for Bdubs to hit him so they could test if the wildcard affected damage and then Tango going "smack me harder~" in the background was diabolical. Suuuure you guys are all PG.

Etho sitting in a boat for Joel to jump over him feels like some boat boys relationship symbolism I'm not smart enough to explain

So Etho is currently living with team BET, but allied with the Four Gs, and in the family with Gem and Joel. Wildcard Etho is so back!

Of course Impulse immediately remembered the clock question.

Joel boasting about how he immediately knows all the questions is peak Joel form and I would expect nothing less. It is kind of warranted though because everybody else is waffling on the simple ones.

Joel is now two for two on unquestioningly trusting Etho only to have something bad happen to him and not even being mad about it what is wrong with this man 😭

Does Joel have the censor bleep on his keyboard or did he just straight up start swearing at Tango and know they would both have to censor it in post to get the effect that he was also making the noise?

Scott's gone from a creaking fanboy to a body horror situation and I'm living for it (also considering he's agreed to "go wild" this session--am I sensing a Scott corruption arc?)

Scott cutting directly from saying he and Jimmy were never married even though they called each other husbands to a scene WITH Jimmy was kind of an insane choice

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Girldad has been confirmed by Scott as the actual reason for the 4Gs. I still think Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss ImpulseSV is funnier but good to have an official ruling

Scott giving up his life for Pearl and them being good natured about it and calling it therapy! I love them so much!

Lizzie being the only person who's not exicted when a trivia bot spawns is so funny. Even the other players who weren't in all the seasons don't seem to be as miffed by them as she is.

Lizzie's flaming snail arising out of that hole while smiling is potentially the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why did it look like that 🤣

[an-insignificant-flower]

雷神 風神 レゾナンス

"Raijin Fūjin RESONANCE"

Raijin and Fūjin are two Shinto gods, often depicted as a pair. Raijin is the god of storms and thunder, while Fūjin is the god of wind. Both are some of the oldest gods in the Japanese pantheon, sons of the first goddess of all creation.

Notably, Raijin and Fūjin are escapees from the Land of the Dead...

Imai's signature on this song is about as obvious as it gets even in the title. Fūjin and Raijin have been references for him for a while, and even just a couple of years ago, he had released a long sleeve T-shirt showcasing the pair in a collaboration with LHP for Buck-Tick's 35th anniversary.

Verse 1 (Imai)

上昇気流　雷神　風神　レゾナンス joushoukiryuu　Raijin　Fuujin　RESONANCE FLY HIGH！！　昇天 　　　　　　　 shouten Rising！！　Higher than the sun

(On) the updraft, Raijin, Fūjin, (and) resonance Fly high!! Ascension (to Heaven) Rising!! Higher than the sun

Right off the bat it feels like we're talking about Acchan, with "higher than the sun" posing a challenge to the "aim for the sun and burn" story of Ikaros.

Likewise those of us who have referred to Acchan as a personal Jesus (as he has used the iconography several times) are vindicated with the same term used for the Ascension of Christ.

The term "resonance" in this katakana form means everything you might expect of the same word in English, although one dictionary adds another definition that I find resonates well (yeah, yeah, see what I did there) with the chorus when we get there:

awakening, or arousal (of emotions, etc.)

Also worth a note that the Japanese pronunciation of "rising," at least as it can be heard in the song, is a homophone to "Raijin."

Pre-chorus 1

この地上で生き抜くことだ kono chijou de ikinu koto da

it's how to get by on this earth

Verse 2 (Hoshino)

共振共鳴　雷神　風神　レゾナンス kyoushin kyoumei　Raijin　Fuujin　RESONANCE FLY HIGH！！　昇天 (shouten) Rising！！　Higher than the sun

vibration-oscilation, Raijin, Fūjin, (and) resonance

I'm bending a bit here to make it make sense as lyrics, were they English. The first words here, kyoushin and kyoumei, are both direct synonyms for "resonance" and translate as "resonance" in most dictionaries. However, the former refers to physical vibrations, while the latter refers to sonority (sound).

Pre-chorus 2

雨に撃たれ生き抜くことだ ame ni utare ikinuku koto da

it's how we get by while pelted by rain

Chorus (Imai & Hoshino)

Boys don't cry　ハートに火をつけろ Girls fall in love　ハートに火をつけろ Boys don't cry　ハートに火をつけろ Girls fall in love　ハートに火をつけろ 　　　　　　　 hāto no hi wo tsukero

boys don't cry, set your heart on fire girls fall in love, set your heart on fire

At last we come to the chorus, a call directly to the audience, and the feature of the 15-second spot preview of the last few weeks. I'll talk more about this in my summary below.

Verse 3

FLY HIGH！！　昇天 (shouten) Rising！！　Higher than the sun

Pre-chorus 3

この世界で生き抜くことだ kono sekai de ikinuhu koto da

it's how we get by in this world

Chorus

Boys don't cry　ハートに火をつけろ Girls fall in love　ハートに火をつけろ Boys don't cry　ハートに火をつけろ Girls fall in love　ハートに火をつけろ 　　　　　　　 hāto no hi wo tsukero

　 Summary (and a bit of projection, if you'll indulge me)

As Raijin is the god of thunder, it's he who makes the sounds that people most often hear (and fear) in a storm. Yet the song invokes both gods as a pair and attributes the "resonance" to both. You may not "hear" Fūjin, but as far as Raijin is concerned, the resonance does not exist for only one of them.

As the boys have said now in several interviews, they strongly feel that Sakurai is still very much with them.

I'll stick to lyrics here and leave music theory to someone else, but I will share a thought on the costuming. The dress for the single's cover and for the current banner page of the official website has them in black rags, and, as others have remarked, they literally look as if they've gone to Hell and back.

However, in the music video itself, they sparkle, particularly with silver and sequins. I feel as though the clothes themselves show that they're worn, they mourn, but still they shine.

This song is not here to rival past Buck-Tick songs, so any comment that the sound isn't the same is a non sequitur. And, while I'm sure the management would prefer chart-toppers, the audience is not the masses, but the fans.

This song's message is for you.

Acchan lives. Gods live. And you. You live.

So live, and live well.

Vibrate. Oscillate. Reverberate. Resonate. Let your heart beat. Let your voice cry out. Put one foot in front of the other until your footsteps become clear, until you fall into a march, until you find your parade again.

Don't suffer. Be open to the possibility of feeling joy again. That possibility is in you, because you're human, and it's how humans get by...

...from this world to the next...

...it's how we learn to live again.

We set our hearts on fire ❤️‍🔥

[justanotherpersonwhowrites]

We were seriously cheated from a great character arc with JJ and Jarah's baby.

Imagine JJ "you don't want me around your kid" Maybank meeting little Jarah junior. This guy is convinced that having kids is not in his future because he'll just mess them up, and he doesn't want to do to any kid what Luke did to him. He never even considers being a father because he just knows on a deep, intrinsic level that he's not someone to be trusted around kids. When John B and Sarah's baby is born he tries to find every excuse to be away from the house as much as possible until John B finally forces him to spend some time with the baby.

At first he's super hesitant because he doesn't want to do something that will somehow affect that kid later on and he "doesn't know how to interact with kids," but literally everyone else can see how good he is with the baby. There's some challenges naturally and he still doesn't trust himself around the baby very much but one day he ends up being the only Pouge available to babysit. He freaks out about being left alone with little Jarah junior, but the longer he spends with the kid the more he realizes that there is no way he would ever be able to hurt them. Like, he can't even rationalize how anyone can look at a baby and think about doing any of what Luke did to him.

So after that moment he begins to trust himself more around the kid. He'd be the fun uncle who sometimes introduced questionable activities, but he'd also gain some (much needed, long awaited) responsibility. And you better believe he would be the most protective of that kid. Rivaling John B? Probably.

I can just imagine him realizing that he can choose to treat this kid the complete opposite of how Luke treated him, and taking every opportunity to do so. And eventually it hits him that despite how much Luke's abuse messed with him, it doesn't mean he has to let it control the rest of his life. Maybe he could be a dad after all and do his own kid justice, ya know?

Yup... it's safe to say that I can't get this story line out of my head and am 99% sure I will end up writing a fan fic on this exact premise at some point in the not too distant future.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 15

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

“Hey F, could I get some of that dip? Someone threw all of my cans of Snus away when he confiscated my stuff.”

“Sure thang, handsome. Oh- you sure you need that much Stan? You’ve cold-turkey’d nicotine for weeks now.”

“I’ll be fine, stretch. It’s not like I haven’t done worse for less.”

(...)

“Fiddleford, is there a particular reason Stanley is under the table in the recovery position?”

“He tried too much chew all at once, he’s got the nic-sick.”

“Stanley, I told you that you needed to quit that nasty habit! This is precisely why I threw your tobacco products away when you came here.”

“Y’know this headache was bad enough without you yelling at me.”

“I cannot believe you enabled him.”

“Stanford, he's a grown man, he’s allowed to use nicotine if he wants to.”

“He can still hear you. And you know what? I don’t think you ever need to bitch at me about it ever again, Doc. I’m not touching the stuff again for a long time…”

“It’s for your own good.”

“PhD, next time you think about saying that I want you to remember I’m not above hitting a guy with glasses.”

(...)

“Stan, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven going on twenty-eight.”

“Do you remember when your birthday is?”

“Not the date, no. I know it’s late spring or early summer.”

“And I know your memories are hazy, but did you ever… celebrate it?”

“I think the last time I did was before I was on the streets. After that? There wasn’t a point, I was alone. Why do ya need to know, F?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“Stanford, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“When is your birthday?”

“June 15th.”

“And if I remember correctly from BMU, you never celebrate it?”

“Last time I did I was seventeen.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“I told you back then Fiddleford, I did not see a point, I was-...”

“Used to sharing it?”

“Why?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“So each of these is supposed to be your, what, doctors cert?”

“Doctoral degree, and yes.”

“So you have a dozen of them?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Twelve whole PhDs? That’s pretty cool.”

“...You really think so?”

“Yeah, most people don’t even got one -  but you got one for each finger huh?”

“That’s not why I-. Well, yes, I suppose I do.”

“Stanford! Stan! I’m back, come over to the kitchen!”

“Do ya know what he left for?”

“He did not say.”

“Why’d he turn out the ligh-.”

“Surprise!”

*Stan and Ford stop at the entryway to the kitchen. Fiddleford is standing next to the table, which has a sheet cake and twenty-eight lit candles*

“...”

“Fiddleford, what is this?”

“I know you said you don’t see a point to your birthday, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh, it’s your birthday?”

“...Stanley. It’s not just my birthday.”

“Are you okay Stan? You’re looking spooked. I apologize if I put you on the spot-”

“N-No. I’m fine. It’s uhh- I don’t even know when my birthday is.”

“It’s today. We’re twins.”

“...”

“You still don’t believe-.”

“Wouldn’t, you know, the other guy, be upset?”

“There is no ‘other guy’, it’s literally you.”

“I’m- I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Stanley, I understand you’ve stubbornly held onto the belief that I’m insane and trying to replace something I’ve lost-”

“The cake’s getting covered in wax here, fellers.”

“But I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a long time, because I’m used to sharing it. I am not trying to force you to, but I’m requesting you let me share it with you; I want to share it with you.”

“...Fuck it, I said I’d play along with your delusions until you got over it. Okay, PhD, I accept your offer. But I’m taking all of the corner pieces of the cake.”

“I can accept those terms.”

“Okay you two, I don’t think we got enough time to sing the happy birthday song before the candles melt themselves outta their wicks. So just blow ‘em out and make your wishes.”

(...)

“Hello, Dr. Stanford Pines speaking.”

“Stanford?”

“Hey Ma.”

“Happy birthday hon.”

“Thanks Ma.”

“Please tell me you celebrated your birthday this year. I know your last one couldn’t have been easy after-”

“I was busy with research last year. This year, yes I celebrated, I have… Company, this time.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Listen hon, I know it hasn’t been easy without Stanley since… the accident.”

“I’ve had more than enough time to think about it. I am not going to lie to you and say I’m not upset at all, but it’s been long enough that I have other things to concern myself with.”

“I just want you to know if things get too hard, don’t be afraid to talk to your old Ma again.”

“...I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I love you, Stanford.”

“I love you too, Ma.”

To be continued…

[latexb0n3z]

Unrequited Love, Lots Of Blow, and a Visit From Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

CW; self-harm, sexual mentions, drug use, mental illness yadayadayada.

This was kind of a vent in some weird way. Crashed out earlier and had to write something to cope.

Logan woke up to the sound of something(s) shattering. Again.

“Goddammit, Wade,” he muttered, dragging himself off the couch. It wasn’t even 8 AM, and his roommate was already tearing through the place like a tornado.

Roommate. Logan still wasn’t sure how the hell that had happened. Wade had been crashing at his place “just for a few days” six months ago, and somehow, he’d never left. Logan had considered kicking him out more times than he could count, but something about the mercenary’s manic energy—and the raw, broken humanity underneath it—kept him from following through.

Logan pushed open the door to Wade’s bedroom, which looked like a war zone. Clothes, weapons, and takeout containers were scattered everywhere, and Wade stood in the middle of it, panting, holding the remnants of a lamp in his hand.

“Morning, sunshine,” Logan grunted. “What’s this about?”

Wade didn’t look at him. His face was bare, his scars catching the dim morning light. “It was an ugly lamp anyway.” The more Logan looked, the more was wrong. There was blood, literally everywhere. The bathroom mirror was broken, glass and MORE blood everywhere— the living room was a disheveled mess, a broken bottle of Jack, and a shattered cup like Wade had just grabbed the first thing that was near.

Logan crossed his arms. “You gonna tell me what’s really going on, or should I start charging you for broken furniture?”

Wade flinched, then dropped the lamp base to the floor with a clatter. “What’s the point, huh? You don’t care.”

Logan frowned. “You think I’d let you live here if I didn’t care?”

Wade laughed, sharp and bitter. “Let’s not kid ourselves, Logan. You let me stay because you feel sorry for me. Big, bad Wolverine, taking pity on the ugly stray.” He gestured to himself. “Well, guess what? I don’t need your charity! I’ll leave— and like you said, it’s ‘God’s best joke that I can’t die’ and it’s on all of us!” Even though dying is all he wished he could do.

Logan stepped forward, his voice low and steady. “This about the girl?”

That did it. Wade’s head snapped up, his eyes blazing. “Oh, so you did notice. Good for you, Sherlock.” He took a shaky breath, his words spilling out in a torrent. “Yeah, it’s about her- and everything else- and- and, It’s about how you’ve been all smiles and soft eyes around her. How you go out on these little dates, come home smelling like flowers and happiness or whatever the hell normal people do!”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You jealous?”

Wade barked out a laugh, but it sounded more like a sob. “Oh, I’m so jealous, Logan. Not because I want her or anything—God, no. I’m jealous because she’s… she’s normal. She’s pretty, and soft, and someone you could actually care about.”

His voice cracked, and his hands clenched into fists. “Not like me. Not like this.” He gestured to his scarred face, his mismatched, worn-down body. “You could never like something like me, right, Logan?”

Logan stared at him, his expression unreadable. For a moment, the room was silent except for Wade’s heavy breathing, his manic pacing, his sniffles.

“You done?” Logan finally asked.

Wade blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

“I said, are you done?” Logan stepped closer, his voice gruff but calm. “Because if you’re waiting for me to tell you you’re wrong, I’m not gonna do it.”

Wade’s face crumpled, but Logan kept going.

“You’re a pain in the ass, Wade. You’re loud, and messy, and half the time, I don’t know whether to strangle you or buy you a drink.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “But you’re wrong about one thing. I don’t let you stay here because I feel sorry for you. I let you stay because you’re worth putting up with.”

Wade looked up, his eyes glassy. “You’re just saying that to make me stop crying and breaking things!”

Logan snorted. “Trust me, I’m not the type to say things I don’t mean. And I don’t give a damn what you look like.”

Wade swallowed hard, his hands shaking. “I don’t believe you.”

Logan grabbed him by the shoulders, his grip firm but not unkind. “Then believe this: If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here. Got it?”

Wade nodded slowly, his breath hitching.

“Good,” Logan said, letting go and stepping back. “Now clean this mess up before I start charging you for rent.”

But Wade didn’t move and inch. He just looked down at the floor, and cried and cried. He just stood there, vulnerable, without any quips or witty comments to defend himself. Logan thought it was a pain in the ass, but he was still himself— empathetic no matter just how much he wanted to just tell the son of a bitch to get out.

“Wade?” He was sort of at a loss for words. Wade having outbursts wasn’t anything new— but just… standing there, crying. That was a sight to behold. His expression dropped,

“You have no idea, Logan.”

“You think you’re special, bub? I’ve been alive for two-hundred fucking years. I saw the invention of machine guns for one. You have no fucking clue what ideas I have, Wade.”

Wade finally looked up at him, his milky, yellowed eyes glazed over.

“Do you think I’m hideous?”

“What? I just said I don’t give a shit what you look like.”

“That wasn’t my question. I didn’t ask if you cared- I asked if I’m hideous.”

Logan gave him a once over. Wade already had the answer made up in his mind regardless of what Logan said.

He didn’t think Wade was hideous, but he wasn’t in attracted to him by any means.

“Okay, Wade! Yes, fine, you’re hideous— that’s what you wanna hear right?! Seems like you’ve already made up your damn mind about the answer.”

Wade gave a half smile, and then just turned on his heel and left, slamming the door so hard it made the whole apartment vibrate.

—

And then weeks passed, and Wade never returned. He’d left all his things there, and Logan considered throwing them out after a while. He’d even left his mask on the couch, which Wade never left without.

Annie was her name, the girl. Soft, brown eyes and strawberry blonde hair, and a round face full of freckles. She wore blouses and skirts, and wedges with white little bows on top.

And Logan liked her. Loved her even. Fell for her harder than he’d wanted to. At first their relationship was casual— cute little dates that made Logan feel normal. And the best part— she was a mutant too. It was nothing impressive, mild telekinetic abilities. She could lift small objects from across the room and shut doors without touching them.

She was peaceful, and domestic and a soft body to lay on. He felt safe with her. She’d spend nights at his place since Wade had left- cooked food for him and let him rest his head on her lap while he stroked his head. Things had gotten serious between them in the weeks Wade had been gone.

They had hot, passionate, electrifying sex- made each other laugh so hard they cried and kissed- and then had more sex. Logan would take her against the counter, in the bathroom, on the couch, in the bedroom. Parts of their lives mingled together. Some of his stuff stayed at her place, and parts of her lived at Logan’s. It was unlike anything he’d had in a long long time.

Meanwhile Wade had been doing as much blow as possible and fucking off. Logan wasn’t the only one who hadn’t heard from him. Nobody had. He was torturing himself. He knew he couldn’t die, but he could feel pain. One night he’d played Russian roulette with himself off so much coke it would kill a normal human. He savored what intoxication he could get from alcohol for a couple minutes before the joy was killed by his healing factor.

He’d shoot himself in the head, blow his brains out only to come right back with only half the memories. He’d slit his own throat to choke and watch his ever replenishing blood gush out. He’d cut his fingers off one by one after each line, only to watch them grow back after a couple of hours.

He hadn’t showered in weeks, and smelled like death, blood and straight ass. He didn’t change his clothes, didn’t speak to anyone. Just restarted the same routine he did when Vanessa died. Trying to kill himself but never really dying.

Oh how he missed her. He wondered what she would say to him now, what she would think of who he was. He wondered if she’d be horrified seeing him, or if she’d have loved him anyway. He’d escaped the Weapon X program only to find out from Weasel that she’d been shot and robbed while hooking after he’d disappeared.

He’d had a couple years to reconcile with that… only to fall in love with Logan. What a fucking idiot he was, right?

Unrequited— though he knew Logan had considered him… sort of a friend.

Wade knew he was a pain in the ass, and pissed himself off too most of the time.

It didn’t matter though. He was hundreds of miles away from his life now, taking his shit show all the way to New York City, in the good old United States of America.

—

The New York alley smelled like garbage and rain, a mixture Wade found oddly comforting. The dumpster beneath him was cold and sticky in a way he didn’t want to think too hard about, but it didn’t matter. He was home. Or something like it.

He lay flat on his back, arms spread out like he was trying to make a snow angel on the grimy metal surface. His mask was half-pulled up, just enough to let him belt out an off-key rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

“There’s nothing I can dooooo… a total eclipppse of the heaaaart!” he howled, his voice echoing through the narrow alley.

Somewhere nearby, a rat squeaked in protest.

“You’ve got an audience,” came a voice from above.

Wade froze mid-note, craning his neck back to see a familiar figure hanging upside down by a thin strand of webbing. The bright red-and-blue suit was unmistakable.

“Spidey!” Wade gasped, sitting up so fast he nearly fell off the dumpster. He was hopped up on cocaine, meth, angel dust, anything he’d managed to get his hands on tonight. “My second-favorite insect-themed hero! What brings you to my garbage palace?”

Spider-Man tilted his head, his mask’s lenses narrowing. “You’re laying on a dumpster and singing power ballads. Should I be concerned, or is this just a Tuesday for you?”

“Wednesday, actually,” Wade corrected, wagging a finger. “And I’m celebrating my triumphant return to the Big Apple! Came here with nothing but a bag of cash and a dream. And maybe some mild emotional baggage. But mostly the cash.”

Spider-Man flipped down to the ground, landing lightly. “I’m pretty sure that was illegal cash.”

“What isn’t, these days?” Wade said, waving him off. “Besides, it’s not like I’m hurting anyone. Unless you count your ears.”

Spider-Man crossed his arms. “You’re avoiding the question. Why are you really here, Wade?”

Wade leaned back against the dumpster, sighing dramatically. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s a tale as old as time. Boy meets mutant, mutant moves in, mutant gets jealous of said boy’s weirdly functional romantic life and flees to New York to sulk in an alley and reevaluate his choices.”

Spider-Man blinked. “Okay, wow. That’s… more personal than I expected.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the Deadpool Show.” Wade gestured broadly at himself. “We like to keep things raw and unscripted. Keeps the audience engaged.”

Spider-Man crouched down, resting his elbows on his knees. “Look, I know we don’t… vibe exactly, but you seem like you’re going through something. Do you need help?”

Wade laughed, a sharp, hollow sound. “Oh, Spidey, my sweet, built like a gymnast summer child. I’m beyond help. I’m like a car that’s been totaled, set on fire, and then run over by a tank. But thanks for asking.”

“You’re not that bad,” Spider-Man said, though his tone was hesitant.

“Aw, you think I’m redeemable,” Wade said, clutching his chest. “You’re adorable! Like a little web-slinging therapist.”

“Seriously, Wade. You don’t have to do… this,” Spider-Man said, gesturing to the dumpster and the alley. “Whatever’s going on, there’s got to be a better way to deal with it than running away and singing ‘80s ballads in the rain.”

“It wasn’t raining when I got here,” Wade pointed out. “But, fine, I’ll bite. What do you suggest, Dr. Spidey?”

Spider-Man hummed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Maybe talk to the person you’re running from instead of hiding out here. Have an actual conversation.”

Wade snorted. “You think I’m the ‘talking about my feelings’ type? Adorable. Really, top marks for optimism. I already tried- got blood all over the poor guys’ apartment and broke his mirror… Oh- you know Wolverine- Wolvie- Logan? Yeah he’s alive again and I haaaave itttt bad, Spidey.”

Spider-Man sighed. “Wolverine… like? Like… The X-men’s Wolverine? He died! How the hell is he alive again?— wait, don’t tell me he came from a different universe or something.”

Wade tilted his head, clicked his tongue and made finger guns, “Ding Ding Ding! That’s exactly right.” He dropped his hands but remained looking up, studying Spider-Man for a long moment. “You’re way too good for this city, you know that? It’s like watching a Disney protagonist in Gotham.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Spider-Man said dryly.

Wade slid off the dumpster, landing with a flourish. “Fine. You win. I absolutely cannot go back to Canada anytime soon but— I will try to stop doing massive amounts of narcotics and cutting off my limbs are even though they just regrow.”

“You’re really a strange guy, you know that, Wade?”

“Yes— quite intimately actually. Very large part of the reason I’m torturing myself out here in the good old United States of America.”

Spider-Man rolled his eyes. “Quit your sulking, grab my hand.”

Wade raised a… well… what would be his eyebrow if he had any, but said, “Fuck it,” and took his hand.

Suddenly, he was suspended in the air, wind whipping past his ears as they swung through the towering skyline of New York. Wade let out a loud, exaggerated scream. “OH MY FUCK, SPIDEY, THIS IS THE CLOSEST I’VE BEEN TO FLYING SINCE THAT TIME I STRAPPED FIREWORKS TO MY BACKPACK!”

“Why does that not surprise me?” Spider-Man shouted back, his voice barely audible over the rush of the wind.

“BECAUSE I’M AN ICON OF CHAOS!” Wade cackled, twisting his body mid-swing to strike a pose, one hand outstretched dramatically. “LOOK AT ME! I’M PETER PAN BUT WITH MORE TRAUMA!”

Spider-Man groaned. “Do you ever stop talking?!”

“Do you ever stop being an uptight boy scout?” Wade shot back.

Spider-Man didn’t dignify that with an answer, instead twisting midair and flinging a web to the next building. The sudden shift sent Wade swinging wildly, his legs flailing.

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA!” Wade yelled, clutching Spider-Man’s arm like a terrified cat. “Careful there, Spandex Man! Some of us are delicate flowers who bruise easily!”

“You literally can’t die,” Spider-Man said, exasperated.

“Emotionally, Spidey!” Wade quipped. “Emotionally!”

Spider-Man sighed, expertly landing on a rooftop and depositing Wade less-than-gently on the gravel.

Wade sprawled out on his back, catching his breath. “That was either the most fun I’ve ever had, or I’m having a stroke. Maybe both.”

Spider-Man stood over him, hands on his hips. “You’re impossible.”

“Ha! Logan says that too!” Wade sat up, pulling his mask back down. “So, what’s the plan, boss? You didn’t just web-nap me for a heart-to-heart, did you?”

Spider-Man crossed his arms. “I didn’t exactly plan this. But you’re clearly in a mood, and I figured some fresh air might knock some sense into you.”

“Aw,” Wade cooed, “you do care about me! Admit it. I’m growing on you, like a sexy barnacle.”

“Don’t push it.”

Wade leaned back on his hands, glancing out at the city below. The lights of New York twinkled like stars, and for a rare moment, he was quiet.

“…It’s kind of nice up here,” he said after a beat.

Spider-Man sat down beside him, still keeping a cautious distance. “Yeah. It is.”

They sat in companionable silence for a while, the noise of the city far below fading into the background.

Finally, Wade broke the silence. “You ever feel like you’re just… too much? Like you’re this big, messy disaster that everyone tolerates but no one really wants around?”

Spider-Man glanced at him, surprised by the sudden vulnerability. “I think a lot of people feel like that sometimes., and trust me, you’re definitely a disaster. But… you don’t have to be.”

Wade turned to him, his tone light but his voice just a little too tight. “Wow, Spidey, you’re really laying on the compliments tonight. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.” He said, sarcastically.

Spider-Man rolled his eyes. “Okay, and we’re back to that.” He blushed under his mask, a bit bashful. Everything was an innuendo to Wade somehow.

“Hey,” Wade said, nudging him with his elbow. “Thanks for this. The swing, the chat, the unsolicited life advice… it’s nice to know someone’s got my back, even if you are a dork in pajamas.”

Spider-Man smirked under his mask. “Anytime, Wade. Just… try not to end up sulking on a dumpster again, okay?”

“What a sweetie pie you are, Peter.”

“How the hell do you know my name? It’s not like yours is a secret… but I thought I was doing a good job at this secret identity thing…”

“I’m a mercenary, I know everything even if I don’t want to.”

Peter huffed. “That’s not an answer but… okay, Wade.”

Wade huffed and then tried to push his luck.

“I don’t suppose your kindness extends past swinging… like- a place to-“

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh come onnnnn! I thought you were all about being helpful.”

“Hey- I’m all for giving a little support but how do I know you won’t just break my stuff too?”

“One night?”

Peter bit his bottom lip under his mask in thought.

“Ugh, you’re such an ass. Give you an inch and it turns into a mile.”

Wade just stared at him, expecting.

“Fine! One night and then you’re back to whatever you have been doing.”

[007chan]

stingy 😒

riki wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as he waits for sunoo to open to door. why the fuck am i nervous? ive literally been to his house before. well, like three years ago but it still counts. riki gets pulled out of his thoughts when he hears the door open.

"hey."

he stares.

riki doesnt know how long he stares for but he knows its too long by the face sunoo starts making at him.

"hello?" sunoo waves a hand infront of rikis face.

pretty.

sunoo blinks.

"what?"

riki looks at him confused.

"you said something." sunoo accuses, pointing a perfectly manicured finger at him.

riki feels a sense of panic rise in his chest as the boy infront of him stares him down.

"so? what did you say?"

riki takes in a deep breath preparing himself for the words hes about to say.

"i said pretty. you're pretty."

sunoos face doesnt show a reaction but riki notices that the tips of his ears have turned a pretty shade of pink.

"oh? thank you.." the boy responds tilting his head with a small smile.

sunoo gives riki a once over before moving to the side to make room for the taller boy and rolls his eyes playfully.

"come in, you weirdo." sunoo smiles again, wider this time, as he lightly grabs rikis wrist pulling him inside.

SUMMARY: riki has seen many things as sunoo's neighbor. he's seen him late for school rushing out the door, he's seen him help his mother bring in groceries, and he's even seen him get dropped off by friends. what riki hasnt seen is sunoo asking him to be his fake boyfriend.

we dont talk abt my writing. focus on how cute the sunki pics are. Bless

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boy next door masterlistt

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 21

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

INDEX (Chapters order)

I'm literally covered in Sunghoon's cum, I've got it in my hair, on my face, on both my breasts, but most of all… he keeps coming out of me as he continues to fuck me. I'm bent over in front of him, he's got me by the waist and by my hair, which he's twisted around his right hand.

"Fuck, you won't be able to walk."

I just gasp as I feel him come in my stomach for the umpteenth time for several long seconds. It's amazing he's got so much of it.

He pulls it out and lets go of me. He looks at me as I collapse between his legs, then smiles.

"Are you tired? Although… - he says under breath - you left something here." He sighs and pushes his long cock towards me.

I swallow, I'm not afraid at all, in fact… After everything he's done to me in the last few hours, I've succumbed to him so much that it seems the least I can do is return the favour.

"How does it… - I ask, rising weakly before crawling towards him - still be hard." "It's always this way because of you." He replies amusedly, stroking my head gently, letting a strand of my hair slip through his fingers.

I am now on my knees in front of him, taking his cock in my mouth, first helping myself with my hand, but then he moves his wrist and looks at me seriously as I raise my eyes to his in confusion. I can't do it without a little help at first.

"Shit. - He swears, biting his lip as he looks down at me. - You're so beautiful."

"Open sesame" I hear, wanting to please him even more. I take him in my mouth, wrapping my tongue around his thickness as much as I can and start to move my head more confidently.

"Ah… yes, clean it all up."

Even when he talks dirty, he doesn't use any swear words, he's never vulgar. He called me slut several times when we were not fucking, rather than during it. It's almost as if I have to earn that.

I start to go deeper and deeper, although it is really difficult for me because of his size. The more he moans, the more I am spurred on to continue and improve, I want him to go mad again, this time because of me.

"You like it so much, don't you? No… you're not tired yet. F-fuck…."

I realise I'm choking because I'm going too fast. I try to pull it out, to keep him from getting in the back of my throat and choking me, but all his cum ends up on my tongue and part of my lips.

I raise my eyes, he stares at me, even though he's just come for the umpteenth time, I pull my tongue out to show him what he's done, then I swallow it and he rolls his eyes in surprise. I lick my lips, too, to collect it all.

"Shit… shit, I'm going to have a heart attack, Amanda!" He shouts in surprise.

I manage to smile before collapsing on the floor, brain dead. He bends down, grabs my shoulders, lets me lean against him and for several minutes nothing happens.

He just lets me rest against him.

"You… you did well." He tells me after a while. "You're the worst…" I pant, but I cling to him. He does the same with his arm, pulling me close. "I know."

I don't know how much time passes, all I know is that eventually he lifts me up and holds me like a bride.

"Come on, let's take a shower."

This is how it really happens. All the while, in the not-so-clear showers of the women's changing room at the ice rink, Sunghoon rubs me with the sponge he took out of his duffel bag.

The water running over me is very warm, I feel really relaxed, I don't even have to move as he takes care of gently massaging and lathering every inch of my body. I feel really exhausted, it's been so intense it doesn't seem real.

For a while it really did feel like the last time.

I try to distract myself, but I don't even want to count the times he came between Wonyoung and me today. It's scary, not human, unnatural.

But I don't even want to think about it too much, I like feeling his chest when I rest my neck on his, I like how, even though he doesn't kiss me directly, he keeps resting his lips on my shoulders, on my back, while his still-bearded cock presses against my back.

"Are you all right?" I ask in a whisper. He smiles, but not sarcastically as usual. "Why? Are you worried about me?" "That sounds like the answer of someone who is fine."

We both laugh, albeit briefly, because after soaping me completely, he hugs me from behind, partially covering my face with his arms as he leans against my head.

"I wish we didn't have to come back."

Actually, I wish I did too.

I know this is the last shift, and I know that after today things will change.

I'm probably going to leave, although I don't think he's realised that yet… he looks worried.

When we get out of the shower, while he is still naked, Sunghoon covers me with several towels. He puts a bigger one over my shoulders, while with the smaller one he squeezes them a bit, to collect the excess water.

"Do you find me beautiful with my make-up off?" I ask him, before he starts blow-drying my hair. He's behind me, but we both see each other in the mirror in front of us. "No, not at all. - He replies, with the expression of someone who has done nothing wrong. - You're ugly as hell."

I honestly don't understand why he would give me such an answer, while he is obviously taking care of me, drying my hair, even putting his stupid expensive creams in it.

"I've always been told otherwise." I say. He twists his lips, I can see it. "Who?" "You don't know them." "Ah… then I don't care. - He replies almost offended. - If I don't know them, they are below my level, and certainly far from you." "You are rather jealous of a very ugly girl." "In fact, I advise you to always show your make-up around the house. Even outside, you should only show your made-up face to me."

Damn… he made me blush. When he sees that I don't react, he chuckles contentedly. Then he turns on the hairdryer and the hot air blast pampers me along with his fingers, caressing my curls and rolling them between them.

It's a good thing, because I wouldn't have known what to say.

When I am completely dry, he gives me one of his 'spare' pullover. My jumper is too wet, I risk getting sick, he says, and continues to be thoughtful….

"Are you sure there were no cams?" I ask as we leave the back of the building that leads to the car park where only Sunghoon's car is parked. "They gave me the keys to this place. I turned off the cameras myself." "That was risky." I remind him worriedly. "But nice."

I can't answer.

In the car, he even opens the door for me. He buckles me in, but doesn't look me in the eye. He's sad again, no, probably just serious - I'm fantasising too much.

We don't speak, not even after we've left. He's lost in thought, you can tell, I'm really too tired and the fear of the consequences of what happened in there makes me run away in my sleep. He notices but does not wake me.

In fact, when I opened my eyes, I did so spontaneously and noticed that the car had already stopped. Sunghoon was staring at me, as if he wanted to say something, but I didn't think he would.

We looked at each other for a few seconds and then looked away.

"You're awake." "I'm sorry…" "I didn't let you sleep so your sorry." I remain silent, bowing my head in respect. "Thank you for what you said to me today. - I say, even though my voice is shaking. - I, however, can't… I can't say that I have forgiven you. Sorry." He sneers, unbelieving, wistful. "You're sorry because you can't forgive me?" "I'm sorry… because I'm so guilty myself." "Things will change, you know? - He looks at me, finally, and I look back. - Things…" "Please. I… I am an engene before I am your host! - I find the courage to say, even though I can barely stand the game of glances, collapsing like an amateur. - What I want more than anything is for you to shine as you deserve. I need that. Please, please, Heeseung… and you… should be friends! - I take both his hands and shake them. - Heeseung is lonely and you know that. There are things you'll never be able to do that Heeseung can… but there are things you'll always be the best at because you don't even have to force yourself to do them.

Sunghoon gives me a serious, unyielding look, then swallows.

"I won't give up on you." "I'll be leaving soon."

His gaze changes, damn it, and it's frightening how quickly.

"What do you mean?" "I don't… - I push my hands away, a little scared. - I can't stay." "You want Heeseung to pay the debt? I told you, I can do it too, but if Hybe finds out, will send you to….. I don't know, Mexico!"

I laugh, but I'm actually too sad. Does he still think about Heeseung? He's really obsessed with him, maybe even in love. And here I was hoping he was with Suno…..

"No, Sunghoon. I… c-c-consider that I should stop working with you."

This time, his expression doesn't just frighten me, it completely petrifies me. I am truly scary by his dark gaze, at this time of night, locked in his car in the building's car park.

"Do you want to go to TXT?" "Are you… are you joking, right?" "What the hell do you think would happen if you left?" "I'm in too deep. - I admit, looking him in the eye even though I'm literally shaking. - If my presence can cause damage to something that is very important to me… I… have few things I care about very much. If I could go back…" "You like Enhypen more than fucking them?" "What a gentleman you are. - I comment disgustedly, he smiles amusedly, but quickly turns serious again. - Anyway, yes, it's possible." "If you're asking my opinion - he says after a while - I think you're better off shagging people I've known long enough. You're in the wrong business now, it'll take a while to get out of it and it won't be easy to shut those TXT fuckers up, but… it can be done. Wash your dirty laundry at home, right? This will definitely cause problems, but we're all so attached to our nice things, our nice clothes, that we'll make it work." "What about me?- I ask quickly. - Should I just stand there and hope it doesn't fall apart?" "You should use this time to find out who you want."

I look at him, unable to answer.

"Even if it were me, I couldn't protect you except by keeping you close to me. I'm not strong enough, no one can do it properly. But if you stay close, it'll be easier to hide you."

I sigh, lowering my sad gaze as I nervously run my palms down my thighs. The things he says make me particularly tense, he really does speak as if he cares, and yet it still feels absurd.

"I won't choose anyone. Not now, not ever." "Then resist me and break my heart if you can. - He tells me, in the tone of advice. - But don't go anywhere."

I don't know what to say, I feel like I could cry at any moment, but he doesn't give me the time. He strokes my cheek and kisses me one last time, his kisses are so warm, the warmth spreads slowly but intensely through my body, and to say he is such a block of ice is usually the wrong thing to say.

"Shall we go?" I ask, the second he pulls away from me. I know my question has offended him, but I did it on purpose, I wanted him to stop. "Are you in a hurry?" He asks annoyed. "The longer we stay here, the less… I want to come back." "You want to stay with me? That's fine, we can even sleep outside, I'll book a room." "I-I didn't say that. - I stammer, embarrassed and a little offended. - Stop please, ok?" "Pick me, Amanda." I laugh, nervously. "You'll get tired of this before I do that."

He doesn't answer right away, I don't know what his expression is because I'm not looking at him.

"Want to bet?" He just asks, taking the keys out of the ignition of the car, which turns off.

I don't dare answer. We got out of the car in silence, he followed me, then we got into the lift. It was late at night. Neither of us had anything more to say, or perhaps we both preferred to remain silent at that moment, which seemed darker than it probably was.

When we got back, Sunghoon used his keys to open the door, but he let me in first. How gallant…

I wasn't expecting it, but all six of them are sitting around the lounge table, drinking beer and soju, there are snacks on the table, but they look untouched.

As soon as I return, I look for Heeseung's eyes: I didn't find it, he looked away, almost as if he knew, as if he was avoiding me. Melancholy, later I find Jongseong's eyes, worried but also angry.

Next to him, Jake looked at me calmly, as if he expected nothing else from me. Jungwon smiles, which makes me uncomfortable, but I have to admit that smile is quite sensual. Sunoo, next to him, sips his glass of beer undisturbed, but when I look for his gaze, I find it immediately and he seems pleased. Niki, who's been on his phone almost the whole time we've been here, just looks confused and amused.

"Let's talk." Jay says.

I stop spontaneously. Sunghoon sighs behind me, then grabs my shoulders, Heeseung notices and turns around, I lower my eyes as he gently pushes me towards the low table and makes me sit on the floor.

"Let's talk." Sunghoon repeats, sitting next to me, close enough to rest the back of his thigh against mine. "We talked, we… exchanged opinions." Jay says in a rather sarcastic tone. "Without me." He reminds him of the peer next to me. "That's really funny." Riki comments, looking at them almost pitifully. Sunghoon looks at him coldly, Heeseung smiles unnerved. "It is, but let's talk about concrete things. The shift thing won't work, the council thinkers claim." The minor smiles amusedly. "Then we cancel it?" "Oh, no. That's the funny thing - Heeseung continues - they… have a pretty good idea. While Jay's dating Amanda's friend, you're dating Wonyoung, Jungwon's been dating Hanni for about two years, and Sunoo, he…. - laughs, even more nervous - he's also dating someone! He hasn't evenparticipated, but they all agree on that." "This what?" Sunghoon asks more seriously now. "Let's cancel the shifts. - He shouts with Jungwon's usual smile. - We can keep them, but you would have to give up yours and I'm sure you would never do that. Am I right?" "Explain yourself better, Jungwon." Man, that's scary, Sunghoon. "Let Amanda help us, in no particular order. With whomever she feels like, whenever she wants… - he explains, I can tell he's about to say something dangerous, he's even struggling to say the words himself, but he seems so amused that it makes me really uncomfortable. - Still, she should not refuse. Of course, if she agrees, but… that would solve everything. If we behave well and don't bother her too much, if she can't choose who to favour, everything will be fine, and it will be much more professional".

For several seconds I cannot tell if what I have just heard is an auditory hallucination. You… He didn't really say all that, did he, Jungwon?

Okay, funny. Really, ten out of ten for originalit - Sunghoon replies, grabbing my wrist and pulling me up. - We'll sleep in hotel tonight, tomorrow, if you're clear…" "You don't decide." Jungwon reminds him. Jongseong looks at us, I can see an almost imperceptible smile on his face, a mischievous grin. "Fortunately, the majority decides. Or it could just choose the leader. I don't know if that's convenient." Sunghoon looks at Heeseung, who seems completely impassive. "Aren't you going to do anything? You're the oldest!" "You don't understand the situation. - The elder answers in a whisper. - You don't decide, she does."

Sunghoon turns to me, stares at me for a long time, but I don't know what to say, so he lets go of my wrist and turns to his bandmates.

"Sunoo, what the fuck?! Why do you agree?!" The minor smiles amusedly and puts down his glass. "Why shouldn't I? Isn't it to my advantage, too? I could be a breath of fresh air for Amanda noona." Hoon doesn't seem to have expected such a reaction, he remains silent for a few seconds, then turns to Jake. "You always make the worst choices, don't you?" Jaeyun smiles, but is annoyed and quickly changes his expression. "Don't bother me. I've had enough of you and your women, I don't want boona to be one of them." "Noona?" He repeats in disbelief. "She likes to be called that. Don't you know?"

Oh. I've gone all red, this isn't the time to be embarrassed about these things, dammit!

"Sit down, Amanda." Jay says to me in his warmest voice.

Even though I know that this will break Sunghoon's heart, should he actually have one, I walk past Sunghoon after a few seconds of thinking and sit down at the table. The one who stands up is Heeseung, but also abruptly.

"Don't do it, Amanda." He tells me, it's an order. "Do you realise that if you don't, it will become more and more difficult to keep you with us? - Jungwon explains, becoming more serious, perhaps for the first time. - We… want you here, understand?" He says this as his cunning gaze squares me until I feel naked and helpless in front of him. "If we pay the debt, they'll send you to the farthest country, if we end the contract, you'll work somewhere else. - Jay continues with a sigh. - We don't want that." "If you stay here, you'll be safe." Jake finally explains, although he doesn't look at me. Jungwon bites his lips in amusement, then takes my hand in both of his and squeezes it. "You can set all the limits you want, except that… to… refuse you. Unless there are medical problems, of course! - He reassures me, as if he's talking about something completely normal. Then he shakes my hand a little more and his eyes become even more puppy-dog eyes. - After all, it's fun… and you're our fan, so I'm sure you'll enjoy it… helping us maintain our well-being."

I swallow, just hearing him talk like that makes me excited again.

"Ok, shall we make it like an opening ceremony?" Riki suggests with his sensual volatility as he gets down on his knees. "Fuck, you guys are crazy, aren't you?" Sunghoon asks with a nervous half-smile. "An opening ceremony?" Sunoo ignores him and looks at the minor. The Japanese boy begins to laugh in amusement, then lowers his gaze to his crotch, hymming something very unorthodox. "Well… all together, in the name of friendship." "Oh my God." Jay comments in disgust. Sunoo bursts out laughing, as does Jungwon, although for a few seconds he turns and looks at me strangely. "Let's do it, come on." Jake is speechless. "You… oh my… that's disgusting. You're a fucking child!" "I'm not!" Riki replies curtly.

Heeseung stares at him for several seconds, his gaze is icy, it sends shivers down my spine, but not only that… Then he turns to Sunghoon, the two of them staring at each other in silence, but I lower my gaze, intimidated.

"Amanda will sleep with Sunoo tonight." Heeseung says, massaging the space between his eyebrows as he tries to stay calm. "After the ceremony?" The unconscious Niki asks. "Say it again. - Heeseung raises his voice and looks menacingly at the maknae. - Look at Sunghoon's face, I'll make it much worse for you." "Come on, why don't do it, hyung?" The younger man replied. "It's still my turn. - Sunghoon says seriously, interrupting them thankfully, because Heeseung doesn't seem to be joking at all. - I want to finish it off." "I haven't had a full twenty-four hours either, get over it." Jay replies. "No problem for me, I can accommodate her before or after the ceremony." Sunoo laughs. "Amanda, the advice I gave you. Forget it." Sunghoon says behind my back. "What advice?" Jungwon asks curiously. "I changed my mind, completely. It was nonsense, you'll go to China or somewhere else." "What advice?" Heeseung asks in a darker tone. "Let's do it." I say suddenly.

They are all silent for a few seconds, I have a tired look on my face.

"Are you kidding? - Heeseung shouts. - I said I'll pay. I said I'll take care of it." "You don't have to do that. - I say with an edge in my voice. - I have nothing to do with you, look at me. - I'm being rhetorical. - I did it with Sunghoon and also with…. Niki. Why would you… it's humiliating for you. Don't do it. It's not worth it…"

I can't bring myself to meet his gaze, afraid his expression could easily tear my heart apart. I'm a bad person, whether he's that bad or not, he should know.

"Did you do it with Yeonjun and Soobin?" He asks me, as if it matters in any way. I don't answer right away, everyone stares at me, Riki laughs. "Go ahead, answer." Sunghoon urges me not so gently. "No… but what does it matter?"

Heeseung sighs and looks almost relieved. Sunghoon and Jay seem to do the same.

"It does matter." The three repeat with a dazed expression. "Glad you trusted her instead of asking who was there." He remembers Riki, who I look at confused, no, scared. Heeseung looks at him and purses his lips. "Yes, I believe her." "And you do well, Hyung. I would never let them do to her what I would have done to her."

Heeseung quick to violence, at least that's what I could see, but he still stops, perhaps because the one in front of him is still his maknae, the youngest. But the look he gives him… it's hard to describe how much fear he gives me.

"So… shall we officially end the fifth round?" Jungwon suggests. "Let's do it." Sunoo smiles and looks at Sunghoon, who for some reason can't answer in front of him. Jay swallows, struggling. He looks at Jungwon, he knows him very well, he seems annoyed by his behaviour. "Should we?" "Why should she sleep with Sunoo? Shouldn't she be able to choose where she sleeps?" Jake asks, already assuming that the fifth round will indeed end here. "Do you think she would sleep with you?" Riki teases him, sitting on the floor leaning on his palms.

Jungwon bursts out laughing and puts a hand on Jake's shoulder to stop him from getting up and hitting him. Sunoo just laughs, I'm just in shock.

"Do you want to, Noona? - Jungwon comes up to my ear and willingly places his lips on it. - Tomorrow we'll make all the rules, but tonight… are you ready? Has Sunghoon taken your strength?"

The way he whispers in my ear, the way his voice spreads through my brain, awakening primal instincts, immediately throws me off track.

As I try to hold my breath (I don't even know why), he notices and laughs.

"I… I don't… I don't think… " Jay has been watching us for a while, he's obviously annoyed. "Jungwon, what are you doing?"

Sunghoon approaches and notices, maybe because he's done nothing but watch Heeseung so far. He abruptly pulls Jungwon away and Jungwon resents it, Heeseung also approaches us and I involuntarily lower my shoulders as if to make myself smaller. I don't know what's going on and I'm afraid of what might happen.

"Ouch, hyung! I'm smaller but bigger. Don't make me angry." He says this in a joking tone, but he seems to be seriously annoyed. "I'd like to… sleep here." I admit, trying to restore order. "No, that's no good." Riki says, as if he had no obvious second ends.

Heeseung sighs, makes space between us and then grabs my arm with such force that it lifts me up, I'm scared, I admit, it's starting to scare me, it hurts. I don't like it. Sunghoon just did the same thing, but he was gentler.

I can tell he's really nervous, I don't like it at all.

As I stand up, I pull my arm away from his grasp just as abruptly, and he looks me in the eye, seemingly angry, but then seems to turn away unarmed, betraying some concern. Sunghoon lifts the sleeve of his sweatshirt, which I'm still wearing, to see if he's left a mark on me, but Heeseung looks away in annoyance.

"Let's talk for a moment, please." "Wait until tomorrow then." Sunghoon reminds him. "He can't even talk to me when she wants to?" The younger man glares at him; I never said I wanted to, but he takes it for granted. "Not on my shift." "It's not your shift anymore, haven't you heard?"

I sigh tiredly, I can't take it anymore, this day seems to never end. I look at Sunoo, he is smiling but I can still see some annoyance in his expression.

"I think noona is uncomfortable. - He says in a cheerful but mischievous tone. - Should she sleep with me? Do you want to, noona?" "Y-Yes." I nod quickly. "You don't even want to talk to me?" Sunghoon asks me.

I scamper ridiculously between them, standing behind the backs of Jay and Jungwon, who don't move and remain in front of me.

"I-I just want my phone."

Sunghoon remains speechless, Heeseung starts to laugh out loud.

"Go to sleep, both of you." Jay sighs. Jungwon goes up to his ear and covers his mouth from the side of the two bandmates, letting me see what he's about to say as he looks at me amusedly out of the corner of his eye. "Shouldn't he sleep with you? After all, you are the most serious of us, and Sunoo is younger."

I swallow and look down, pretending not to have heard, even though it's obvious that I have. I've heard everything and I don't even despise the idea… but it's not out of any ulterior motives, it's just that for some reason I think Sunoo has it in for me, and I also think that the only person I could talk to about how I feel is Jay, only he, maybe… would be willing to listen to me.

"No way." Heeseung replies. "Jay hyung is dating with his friend, nothing will happen." Jungwon reassures them, rightly in my opinion. "No way." The eldest repeats, looking his dongsaeng, who has the serious and unyielding look as if they were the same age. "You don't decide that, she does." Jay sighs and turns to me. "Really… don't you want to talk to me" Sunghoon asks me, seriously, no, even wistfully. I swallow, swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to fight the urge to cry. "I just wish… it wasn't a competition. I can talk to anyone."

Sunghoon does not answer me, but takes a step back and literally leaves the room to go to his room. Judging by the silence that follows, I don't think I'm the only one surprised by his behaviour.

"Oh, how cute - Heeseung sneers, although he has such an icy stare when he looks at me - did you delude him?" I lower my eyes, not sure if I did anything like that, but I know he is offended and disappointed to me and that makes me sad. "It's none of your business." "I apologised for earlier, but now we need to talk."

I still sigh, I can't deny him, but I'm still worried about Sunghoon. He left in a strange way, looking so nervous.

"N-no, you didn't. But I'd like to say something…'' - I try to steady myself as all eyes are on me - I… I hope this won't be misunderstood, but… couldn't we just finish the shift? Things will be different tomorrow and we're definitely not going to do anything tonight, but c-couldn't we create any more…"

Only now do I realise how stupid I am, that Sunghoon only went to get my phone back to me, instead I just blew it out of proportion, feeling really guilty and sad for him. I was so embarrassed that I immediately shut up.

Sunghoon looks at me, I look at him too, but only for a second, then I look down in embarrassment. I know Heeseung isn't happy with my words, but I don't want him to win… again.

I see the ice prince cover his face with one hand as he shrugs his shoulders, offended (maybe even embarrassed?), and then puts my phone back in his pocket. Jay sighs tiredly, Jungwon laughs but is nervous.

"We can't do this. The situation is already borderline". Jay says annoyed. "You will end up to fuck again if you spend the evening together." Jaeyun comments, sitting at the table, staring at us, resting his face in the palm of his hand. "W-What difference does it make? We've already done it and then… I honestly don't think he'd want to, knowing that I've agreed to the terms of the new contract." I explain, very uncomfortably. "Yes indeed, mind your own business." Sunghoon replies. "That's a nice way to get back at you - Heeseung says then, taking me by the wrist gently this time - but now, let's talk."

He takes me to the kitchen so fast they can't stop him, then we go to the balcony, his grip tightening all the way, careful not to hurt me.

"Do you like him now? Has he told you that he's willing to do anything and usual shit for you? "I look at him annoyed, but I can't take much more. "Would you stop it? And by the way, you say that shit too". "Why do you believe him and not me?" He raises his voice and lets go of my wrist. "Heeseung, it's… it's nothing, it means nothing. Let's finish the shift, so it's all even, no… no hard feelings." "You just want to be with him." He says in a deep, scary tone. I swallow and pull away. "No, Heeseung. I want to stay away from both of you. However…" "Then just talk to him tonight. Don't sleep with him." "Will that change anything? From tomorrow I'll be at the mercy of everyone!" I raise my voice, this time looking into his eyes, but he remains cold, unyielding. "I will fight every second to prevent you from spending another minute with Sunghoon. I don't fear anyone, Amanda - he tells me with an air of conviction and threat - but of him yes. I know you can't help wanting him, I just want to limit the damage. If I have to suffer to have you, he has to suffer too.

I smile, not because I am amused, but because hi answer, his speech, really frightened me, made me insecure and nervous. He sounds serious, he sounds sincere, but there is no reason why he should be.

"If I don't have you in the end - he says again, lowering his tone further, "he won't have you either, Amanda." "You… you have to stand by him." I reply. Heeseung stares at me blankly for several seconds, then smiles pitifully. "What?" "You're friends, you have to be, do… d-do it for your music, for your dream! Don't waste your light on me… I… I'm not enough… - I say and my voice shakes, it comes out irregularly. - I just want you two to be friends, to protect each other, I… I would give anything to make things right between you. I admit as huge tears fall from my eyes.

Heeseung stands like a fool in front of my tears, unable to speak, but then sighs as if embarrassed and hugs me, avoiding looking at me directly. He is… warm. His body is very warm and comfortable, although I think his heart is very cold right now.

I didn't think it would hurt so much to know that I had failed him.

"It's not your fault, don't worry about such things."

Letting him embrace me like that, almost in public, makes me feel worried, I fear every second that Sunghoon might see us and continue with the scenes, but just like with him, I cannot refuse Heeseung. His touch, his smell, his body, I am completely helpless.

He is always so sweet, even though there are sides of him that obviously frighten me. Who is the real Heeseung? And is there really someone else?

But why does he make me feel so special?

He doesn't give up anything for me, but it's like he's fighting with the whole world.

"I'm s-serious, Heeseung. I care more about your music… than you." Despite saying this, the boy continues to hug me as he sighs tiredly. "So if we become friends, will you choose me?" "You're not listening to me!" I reply, pulling away. But he squeezes me harder, forcing me to hide my face on his broad chest. "No, I've got it all worked out. You just need to leave it to me." "I don't think you understand."

Heeseung pulls away after a few dozen seconds in which I could feel his heartbeat quickening as a pain so intense, a burning sensation that radiated from his chest throughout his body, tore through me. Now he looks at me, still cold, but now also tired. He still strokes my arm, even though we are far apart.

"Sorry about earlier…" He whispers, sounding remorseful to me. I shake my head in embarrassment. "N-never mind. Thanks for apologising." "I didn't think I was that strong."

Heeseung looks at me again, caressing my face with the back of his fingers, he looks worried but I can't tell if he really is.

"Sunghoon… Did he tell you about the video?" "What video?" The boy blinks in displeasure, but still doesn't seem friendly. "Ah, I thought so. Get it from him." "Since you know… w-why don't you tell me?" His eyes aren't tired, they look completely drained, I shiver. "Because he has to pay a price if he wants to spend this night with you. - Then he comes close to my ear and sighs. - But we can be friends, really. I will, for you."

I am speechless. I don't know what to say, but I have a bad feeling. Heeseung doesn't want to tell me, he seems happy to have given the task to the minor. A video… there's usually nothing good in videos.

In the midst of all this, my heart exploded.

"How many saw it ? What video is it, Heeseung?" He walks up to me and kisses my forehead, the gesture so warm that it shuts me up again. "I'll take care of it, don't worry. Not everyone knows, don't worry… Jungwon is young and a bit crazy, but Jay keeps him calm. I'll take care of it".

I swallow, what the hell am I supposed to say? I don't understand, my head is spinning. Really, maybe I'm at my limit, maybe Sunghoon hasn't left me any strength to hold on and cope.

I fainted, totally. I can't see anything, but I'm not going to fall, I'm sure of that.

I don't know what's happening, I don't know how much time is passing, but when I wake up, I'm in Sunghoon's room and I don't understand. I was with Heeseung before, right? The owner of the room is watching me, and when he notices that I'm awake, he approaches me and touches my forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Are you all right?" "Ah… yeah, I think I got dizzy." Sunghoon doesn't answer immediately, but sighs. "You literally fainted." I look at him in silence, suddenly remembering Heeseung's words and stiffening. "How did I get here?" "Never mind." He replies more seriously, as if he has just remembered that he was angry with me.

His back is to me as he opens the wardrobe, takes off his jumper and remains shirtless, carefully tucking the jumper into the dirty laundry basket. I can't help looking at it, man… you never get tired of looking at something perfect.

No, Amanda! Stop it!

As he takes off his trousers too, but puts them back in the cupboard, I sprint to the bed and cover my face with both hands as I see his… I've never seen him look so good, but he's got a really nice bum!

"Come on! Don't c-change in front of me!" "You're kidding, right?" He replies annoyed. "Go to hell, Park Sunghoon." I say involuntarily. He gets irritated. "What did you and Heeseung talk about?"

I don't answer immediately, I want to ask him something first. He seemed to understand, even though I didn't speak, and then I looked away.

"Why do you have such a useless room?" "Useless? - He asks me offended. - You have it wrong, the word is 'tidy', you need an overhaul." "Is it because of what you told me at the ice rink?" "Why are you suddenly so curious?" "I want to ask you things because I may never get the chance again." I explain. "What are you talking about? - He raises his voice and comes towards me after pulling on a pair of baggy trousers, the fabric of which is so thin it looks transparent, beige in colour, and which fall damn well on his long legs. - Where are you going? You said you accepted, you…" "I've accepted, but I hope I never get to this level of intimacy with anyone again." I sigh, uncertain. "Oh yeah? Then why should I answer? - He says, looking at me reluctantly as he slowly buttons his pyjama jacket, the same colour and fabric as his trousers. - You just lied all the time and you enjoyed it. That was what you wanted, wasn't it?"

Sunghoon… that really seems to be him.

"Exactly." I nod sadly.

That's not true, I didn't lie, I tried not to expose myself and him, I tried my best to restrain myself, to deny and hold back, but Sunghoon didn't notice, and that makes me sad, even though it shouldn't.

"Stop it, stop it now." He tells me seriously. I look up… he's handsome, even in his pyjamas. "What?" "You can't really… say you didn't feel anything."

I swallow, we didn't talk about it directly, he didn't ask me, but… if I stop caring about him, that's good. That's what I want, for both of us.

"How… how did you know I was… t-touched for you?"

He blanches, growing more serious but also more nervous as he tightens his lips in annoyance, his beautiful eyes narrowing on me.

"When was I going to say that?" "Think about it." I answer him.

He swallows and remains silent. Then suddenly he sits down on the bed, facing me, staring at me.

"I didn't tell you so you wouldn't… get hurt. I'll take care of it… so you don't have to worry. - He says this with a solemn air, he understands the gravity of what has happened, he doesn't even touch me because he can see from my gaze that now is not the time. - Think about it, he didn't wait a second to tell you! It won't come out, you have to believe me, you shouldn't have known". "I shouldn't have known?!" I raise my voice, stunned. "So you're just going to get sick! You're already so nervous, I didn't want to put you through this." "Sunghoon, I'm not a child you have to protect! - I remind him, and he gets even grumpier (he looks like the child now). - These things are so important, you can't think of excluding me voluntarily! I… oh my God, there's a video of me like this? And I'm alone, aren't I? So… oh fuck". I say, curling up into a ball and covering my face with my hands as I make moaning, shocked noises. "I… - He tries to put his hand on my shoulder, but suddenly, uncomfortably, decides not to. - T-Told you, you don't need to worry." "Tell me what happened….. Sunghoon…"

He sighs, obviously not wanting to talk about it. I don't know if I should understand his decisions… they are so arrogant, but basically kind. No, it's disrespectful - and yet… why do I feel he meant well?

"Jungwon has a video in wich… - he looks up embarrassed and I can't believe he has the courage to be embarrassed in such a context - you… you touch yourself, for me, clearly". "I understood that too me…" "Well, he won't publish it, he just wanted to scare us. - He sighs and lowers his face. - He knows we'll do anything to get him."

I put my hands back to my hair, how embarrassing, how pathetic, but most of all….

"Why the hell does he have cameras in the room?" "I wish I could find out too… I'm so angry that he saw a moment like that. - He comments in a very nervous but distracted tone. - You touched yourself for me, I should have the video! "I didn't touch myself for you!" I remind him, because suddenly that seems to be the important thing, not the possibility of completely and permanently destroying my reputation. "Don't lie. You're so perverted…" He laughs.

I slap his arm, slowly but quickly, I don't want to hurt him but I want him to understand that I want to do it to him. He laughs again, then stops and stares at me, realising he has been smiling too long, he suddenly becomes serious again.

"Look, I'm sorry, but Jungwon is a good guy. It's just that…" "He hurt your face." I reply, just finishing his sentence, not feeling sorry for him, looking at the wound on his mouth that I've deliberately ignored so far. He nods. "Exactly, we screwed up. But nothing will happen, tomorrow I'll make sure it's erased, but tonight is… the last night." "I don't want to d-do it anymore. I'm tired." I explain, hastily and lyingly.

Even if I wanted to, I'm still angry. The fact that he wanted to protect me isn't enough, can't be enough.

"That's not what I meant… you're really perverted." I hit him again. "Stop it." My tone is serious. "So… Heeseung told you about the video, but didn't explain anything, leaving me with the thankless job." "It would have been nice if you two didn't take it as a game." Serious comment. "I told you to trust me." "He did too.- I force a smile. - But I'm still not quiet." "Not enough? - He says. - Everything I've told you, what I've done, even though we've known each other for such a short time… isn't it enough?"

I look at him in silence, even angrier, but I can't think of anything to say at the moment. Sunghoon, seeing me so transparent, smiles softly, but I can tell he's sad too.

"I'm not clear either, I can only say I'll do my best to protect you. But you can only trust me, I have no other way to prove it." "Please… don't use this video against me. Not now, not in the future, no matter what happens. C-Can you promise?"

Caught, he's speechless. That means he's seriously thinking about it, and I don't know whether to be happy or not.

"Of course, who do you think I am? - Sigh. - You should tell Heeseung." "Stop talking about him." I reply annoyed. "Stop telling me to." He replies again before pulling me into his arms and throwing himself onto his bed.

I can't even struggle at the moment, he's stretched out tiredly. He's holding me so tightly I can't even move, but he's made himself comfortable and even rests his chin on my head, breathing exhaustedly.

"This really won't be the last time." He tells me, although he seems to be talking to himself.

What should I do? What could I say? Even now I feel sad, and I'm pretty sure it's not because of the video. I like to close my eyes in his arms, I like the smell of his skin, so fresh.

"Stop saying… such things." "Sleep and shut up." "Are you… going to sleep like that?" "I said shut up. - He says, making himself more comfortable and holding me. - I'm sleepy."

[heavenbloom]

🇵🇸 BEFORE YOU READ: DONATE • BOYCOTT TLOU • GAZAN MUTUAL AID MASTERLIST

❆ — 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫

song: the night — lovewave

summary: a letter addressed to abby anderson, twenty years after the two of you parted.

warnings: 18+ mdni, literally straight up angst, letter format, from reader’s pov, set in the future, not proofread.

a/n: this is entirely inspired by moonlit winter (2019). this’ll probably be boring af but i love love that goes beyond time and the physical and i love mundane yet emotional movies <3

The icy air nipped at your fingertips, the chill tracing unforgiving trails from them to the bottom of your soles.

The snowfall was thick this time of year and it painted the small town in hushed tones. The only thing heard in the white noonday was the laboured crunch of your boots and the heave of your breath against your thick woollen scarf.

The cold barely registered, though, as you dipped your hand into your coat pocket. The thin, glossy edge of an envelope crinkled at the contact.

How could something so small and hidden conceal a whole lifetime within it? It felt like it was burning a hole where it sat, yearning to reunite with your being, to settle there and remain a secret.

The sound of your footfalls ceased, and you let out a slow exhale. A plume of air swelled in front of your vision, softening the edges of everything.

The post office box was rimmed with ice. It stood as lonesome as you did, on this drowsy street, in a town you knew so well now, yet not nearly enough as you should have. It was hard to be a part of something when you always had one eye gazing back at the past.

This would hopefully change that. A parting gift. A farewell to somebody you had said goodbye to long ago.

You reached for the letter.

⋆⁺₊❅.

Dear Abby,

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

I don’t know if I will send this letter, but I can imagine the look on your face if you ever do receive it. Bushy, furrowed brows and downcast eyes… you never looked up when you were puzzled about something. It was if you had to retreat into yourself in order to make sense of the world around you.

The woman that I see receiving this is youthful and vibrant, forever frozen in the sands of my memory. Lines have begun to etch my features, and with each year that passes by, they deepen. It must be the same for you. It has to be, right? But the image of you, aged, eludes me.

I often imagine what kind of person you are now. Did you ever marry? Have children? Do you live in a house with a garden bursting with the smells of overripe berries and fresh herbs, like the one we fantasised about owning all those years ago? These are the reveries that have teeth, that sink and gnaw at something unspoken within me.

I did know you, once, but I’m unsure I do now. Does the soul change over time, or just the meat and bone that surrounds it?

I’ve experienced more of my life with your absence as opposed to your presence. I moved to a quiet corner of the world and made a life for myself. The summers here are mild and the winters are the never-ending and silent kind that we never saw back home. It’s somewhere that you would despise.

Maybe that’s why you plague my mind so often. This town is a place where I know you’d never find yourself in. Back then, I was running away from you and in a way, I still am. Like visiting an attic that one knows is haunted, I think of you.

I dream of you, too. Mundane, meaningless. Nothing happens in these dreams, but you’re there, shining. A wisp of blonde hair, the starlight of a freckled shoulder… the same.

I guess this sameness is what compelled me to write this. I’ve been walking through my life with my head craned back towards the past, so much so that I couldn’t see where I was headed. Now I’ve stopped, in the middle of it, in this purgatory. It can’t go on, Abby. At some point, I have to turn to face the future. I should have long ago.

I’m made up of regrets, but what good will they do now? Instead of listing the should-haves, I’ll tell you the truth;

This is not the first letter I’ve written that’s dedicated to you, but it will be the first I’ve ever had the courage to send. Let it be the last.

I’m sorry if what we shared has also left you with scars and an endlessness of seeking. I’m sorry that I was cowardly, and that I still am.

Thank you for the sliver of sweetness that you gave to me. Thank you for loving me like you meant it. I hope you know that I meant it, too. Everything I did, every word and every touch, was honest.

But I have lived with its death. Now I must let it rot.

Goodbye, Abby. Be braver than I am.

[grayyylake99]

LITERALLY WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING!!!

Why do people scream HISTORICAL ACCURACY when the og movies were never accurate to begin with???? Yes, it’s a movie about dragons; we know that. But the Vikings in the og franchise NEVER EVEN CALLED THEMSELVES VIKINGS IN HISTORY. There’s so many things that the characters do in the franchise that make sense to us as a Western audience, but were definitely not something they did in real life. It’s just a culture inspired but what we now call the Viking period.

Yes, I was suprised they casted a woman of color as Astrid; yes, I was expecting all casting to be exactly the same as the animated counterparts. But does it really matter at the end of the day? No! Nico Parker has her face shape, she has her beauty, she’s a great actress. I can’t say much because we have not seen her performance yet, but so long as she is true to WHO Astrid is, that’s what is needed.

Nico Parker looks fantastic as Astrid with beautiful braids and blonde streaks. Her outfits look great! I do wonder why she’s wearing red instead of blue in many scenes, but personally, I think they’re capturing the essence of her look in terms of accessories.

I’m not saying I 100% back this movie up. Not matter how positive I may be, as a die hard fan, I never wanted nor asked for a live action adaptation. I do not believe it is necessary and makes it seem like animation is not enough. I wish they re-released the originals to captivate “new” audiences.

I don’t like the castings for the twins, I don’t like how fake the arena looks. I don’t like the “new” take on the HTTYD theme. There’s probably more I’ll have complaints about. But I’m gonna be positive. My young sister is excited. I see her excitement for it. And dang it am I making her watch EVERYTHING in the HTTYD franchise. It’s been fun.

But I still want to see it. I personally see passion being put into by the actors that were excited to be apart of it. I haven’t had too much faith in Dean DeBlois’ writing since HTTYD 3, but I truly see his passion for this world and I, too want to see this project succeed.

I give credit where credit is due and criticize what I personally don’t like. I understand the dislike against it.

At the end of the day, i chose peace over being angry, and will be looking forward to the release date.

“It’s not historically accurate! It’s cultural appropriation! Why doesn’t Astrid have blonde hair and blue eyes?!?”

I mean, Vikings didn’t wear horned helmets OR have American/Canadian/Scottish accents or even ride fucking DRAGONS but I didn’t see any of you cry about historical inaccuracy then. Just say you’re racist and move on.

[gascreates]

a new star

[sophiphi]

Guys. GUYS. listen to me- kate carter is a natural brunette. no i’m not just saying that because daisy edgar jones has brown hair naturally, there’s a picture of young kate and her mom that is shown in the scene where she comes back home. I caught it on my second rewatch. I mean ofc you could chalk up her darker roots to it just being a dirty blonde but no, she really is a brunette.

Which brings me to this thought- I wonder what Tyler’s reaction (along with the others ofc) would be when they see Kate with brown hair. Let’s say her blonde dye was growing out enough for her to decide to dye it back. Maybe she does it when she went back to NY for a bit before going back to Oklahoma. Will there be chaos? Definitely. Will Tyler Owens get a heart attack? Duh. Like, imagine the possibilities guys, hellooo