#i still like the fact that the animal hybrid is the one whose the owner and not the pet

[rainba]

Just had a crazy idea, what if Luka and Kairos were yanderes for each-other? What would happen? How would their relationship be???

-🦊

Lukairos… Hehehe (っ˘ω˘ς ) (Shout out to @ n-lol for giving them the ship name!) (I noticed it in the tags when they reblogged one of my posts (♡˙︶˙♡) )

cw: pet play, spanking, biting, 18+

They would be… Mildly toxic? Definitely codependent, with Kairos relentlessly clinging onto Luka. But I think both of them would ultimately be happy, LOL. Something, something… Opposites attract?

Kissing each other’s necks instead of putting metaphorical knives to them.

Luka would definitely spoil Kairos. And to be honest, their entire relationship would basically consist of a borderline owner/pet dynamic. ( ˙▿˙ )

Luka making him permanently move out of his apartment and into his house, feeding him good food, buying him tons of drawing supplies + video games, etc. In exchange, Luka simply asks Kairos to love and worship him unconditionally. (=`ω´=) Which Kairos would be more than happy to do! Since Kairos is a yandere for Luka in this scenario, he’d have zero qualms with becoming Luka’s obedient little pet.

Also, Luka would make Kairos roam around the house in nothing but thigh-highs. While he does buy Kairos a few good outfits for when they go outside and go on dates, he tells Kairos that he doesn’t need to wear anything– after all, if Luka wants a quickie, clothes will only get in the way. ^^;;;;; Plus, Kairos’ body is just really cute, so he should stop hiding it all the time!

When Luka is a yandere for Kairos, he'd also suffer from extreme cuteness aggression around him- which leads to Kairos being fucked senselessly as Luka digs his fangs into Kairos' flesh. He's just too adorable, so deliciously pathetic looking and sweet! How could anyone expect Luka to not want to gobble him up?? (Quite literally, in this case...) ﾍ(･_|

Luka would also have the tendency to smack and grope Kairos’ ass and thighs during random times of the day. ☆⌒(> _ <)

The way Kairos squeals and blushes when Luka does it is adorable. The first time this happens, Kairos would seek revenge by yanking on Luka’s tail– to which punishment ensues. Luka would snatch Kairos by his messy hair and bend him over his lap before spanking him mercilessly. (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

Embarrassingly, Kairos will cum because of this– he might even beg Luka to smack him harder. ^^;;;;;;; 

On a more wholesome note, Kairos would absolutely love cuddling with Luka’s tail! It’s so warm, soft, large, and fluffy… When Luka wraps his tail around Kairos’ waist and gently pets him, Kairos is able to immediately fall asleep, and all of his nightmares dissipate. (´꒳`)

[hoe4hotchner]

Ok first of: The concept with hybrid!Spencer sind puppy!reader is amazing. I have so many ideas, so please feel free to do whatever you want, I need to get them out

Even though Spencer is the more playful one bc of his lively nature, he is in fact the older one and also bigger. And sometimes be forgets his strength and height so when he and puppy play, he sometimes, accidentally of course, gets too rough with her and she immediately rolls herself up in a small shaking ball, having flashbacks of the shelter and maybe other unpleasant previous owners. And while she is laying there, whining small and sadly, Spencer is super unsure what to do and pubs her with his nose, but only scaring her further and making puppy hide somewhere.

Completely helpless Spencer goes and looks for Hotch, who is working in his homeoffice, but Spencer makes him come with him to where puppy is hiding and looks up at his owner like this 🥺 asking him for help to calm his companion down. And Hotch, suddenly sensing that something is off by hearing the small whines, crouches down and looks under the couch, which in the first place is impossible to get under, but puppy somehow did that, and spots her there hiding and still shaking with tears streaming down her face and matting her hair.

And Hotch tries to coos her towards him, but puppy is too deep in flashbacks that she doesn't recognize him. Nothing works until Spencer gets her the plushie he picked out for her at the animal store and that's enough for her to get out and seek the comfort of the toy. Hotch softly lays puppy in his lap, calming her down by petting her carefully. Then he looks at Spencer, whose face has THE guiltliest look on, and Hotch immediately knows what happened. "Where you too rough with her, Spence?" And he nods in shame. "Oh Sweetheart, you know that puppy is not as strong as you. You have to meet her on her level, not the other way around."

Later Hotch puts puppy into the dog bed next to the couch while watching TV and Spencer lays in front of it, not daring to touch the material and scaring puppy again. But she licks his paw and shows him to get his ass on there and they cuddle again just like the first time Hotch brought her home, cause she can't be mad at Spencer 🥺

(Sorry this is way too long and elaborate, I just really really love you concept and have so so many ideas)

Uhhh yess!!! I imagine Spence being like great danes and doesn't understand how big he is compared to you! And with your two personalities clashing it's really intimidating for you.

Friend!! This is more than 1k words long! I didn't mean for that to happen :))

You were playing with Spencer after Hotch announced that he was going to do some work for a little while and that he didn't want to be disturbed. Everything went well until Spence got a little too excited and put his paws on your back, pinning you against the carpet because of your inability to hold his weight up. Emitting a sharp yelp, he moved away from you, seeing you roll yourself up in a tight ball being as small as possible, everything about you was shaking as you instantly thought back to how your previous owner had abused you, held you down, and constantly beat and harmed you in ways almost unimaginable. And how you finally had escaped him, only to be picked up by the people at the shelter who didn't care for you at all.

Spence sits a few feet away from you, his ears flopping to the side as he tilts his head in confusion, it had never gotten this bad when he accidentally went over your limits, but perhaps it was because Aaron was quick to console you, and here you were, feeling all alone and afraid in your own home. While your whines and whimpers filled the space around you, Spencer stepped closer to you, carefully poking his nose behind your ear, sniffling a bit himself as he tried to figure out what was wrong with you. When you felt the cold tip of his nose brush against your skin, you cried out as your body stiffened for a moment, before clawing your way under the small slit under the couch.

When you heard Spencer whine a bit before leaving the room, you let out the breath that you'd been holding, letting the tears slip from your ducts, trying to calm yourself down, but the stress rendered you unable to. Your heart was pounding away in your chest like a herd of wild horses stampeding by.

"Spence, not now! Go play with (Y/N/N)!" Hotch dismissively scolds as he feels the rough nudges on his arm from his first pet. It takes a lot of whining and growling for Hotch to finally look up from his paperwork. When he spots the desperate look in his eyes, Hotch instantly knows that something is wrong and follows Spence back into the living room where you're hiding. After stopping in front of the couch, Spencer lay down flat against the carpet, poking his snout under it and nosing at you, he even tries to paw you out, but you're too far back and he can't reach you.

"I swear if you dragged me out here to get your ball out from under the couch again I'm..." Hotch stops mid-sentence when he hears the sounds of your whines and cries from under the couch. He lays down next to Spence, seeing you struggling to make yourself any smaller. He was surprised that you fit under there, knowing that Spencer barely was able to fit his head under it. Hotch noticed your tear-stained cheeks as you buried your head under your arms, hoping that they would just leave you alone and go away.

With a few clicks of his tongue, Hotch gets your attention. But all you see is his dark figure, unable to pinpoint the features that told you not to be afraid of them. In the dark, everyone looked like your past owner, you felt the burn in your limbs that you could still recall from the previous abuse. Letting out a whimper, Hotch's heart broke. As angry as your sounds made him at Spencer, he knew that he could never take it out on the poor pup, he didn't understand after all. The guilt in Spencer's eyes was punishment enough Hotch thought, his only focus was to get you out and calm you down in hopes of resolving whatever happened between the two of you.

Hotch wanted to grab Spence by the scruff of his neck when the poor boy trotted away, wanting him to see what he had done to you. But when Spencer came running back with long jumps, the small green brontosaurus that you loved so much hanging out of his mouth, Hotch understood what Spence was trying to do. He dropped it in front of the slit you'd crawled through. Hotch instantly grabbed it, trying to coo you out again, he kept calling you his good girl, best girl, hoping that it would work. When you finally spotted the green outline, you knew what it was and clawed your way back out from under the couch.

You instantly locked your teeth around the dinosaurs back, while Hotch managed to get your shaking form down between his legs, your head propped up on his stomach. You let the toy dump down in your arms, licking its head from the pure stress that you were feeling, while Hotch gently shushed you as he wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. Aaron tangled his hand in your hair, feeling you relax slightly as he massaged your scalp. At one point he even heard you let out a sigh, completely forgetting about the dinosaur between your paws.

"Spence, you know she's fragile! Can't be too rough with her. You have to play on her level. She can't just tumble around like you want her to." Hotch gently scolds at his other pet, stretching his hand out to cup his cheek and directing the pup's gaze up at him. Spence nodded his head into Hotch's hand, licking it twice signaling that he understood.

Once your breathing was back to normal, and Hotch felt your heart beat steadily. He lifted you into the basket between the couch and the window. He had exchanged the previous one with a larger model, able to fit the two of you more comfortably as you refused to use separate beds, which he had also tried. Hotch was quick to close down the work that he had started earlier, walking back inside the living room and seeing Spencer laying in front of the basket, he could tell that the boy wanted to cuddle, but the guilty look was still not gone from his eyes. While the blank stare in your still loomed around.

Aaron turned on the tv, hoping that his presence would go mostly unnoticed as the two of you figured your friendship out again. Stretching your head over the side of the bed, you nudged Spencer's hand and licked it to tell him that she wasn't mad at him, that she was okay. That was all Spencer needed to know, before he slowly crawled up behind you, curling his body around yours. He placed his head on top of yours, pushing your ears towards the sides a bit, both of you let out a sigh of contentedness knowing that none of you had meant to hurt the other.

Hotch smiled as he noticed that you'd made up with each other, seeing you fall asleep together just like the first time you'd met.

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

happy WBW from @magic-is-something-we-create!! What are your favorite things about your world?? Are there any particular countries/peoples that you have a soft spot for? What about animals or pets? Cities? Magics, if you have them?? I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Thank you so much for the ask Pax! Happy WBW

This could become a very long post, so I'll try and focus on my favourite stuff:

My favourite pets are lizard-cats and dog-deer. Most animals in the world are hybrids caused by magic, so that's why they exist. Also snake-lions. Snake lions are rarely kept as pets but they're very nice and there's this character whose whole personality is based on the fact that he's an enthusiastic snake-lion owner.

My favourite place in my world is Shaniga. It's a coastal city-state that has a very unique culture and lots of... experimental governing decisions, such as assassination licenses. Its culture and religion focuses a lot on the contrast between creation and destruction, so the most prominent decision in not between respected and disrespected, high-class and low-class professions, but between professions that are creative and destructive.

The destructive professions - assassin, warrior, guard, hunter - are traditionally for women (complicated worldbuilding reasons).

Those that are creative - in a sense that they involve creating things: craftsmen, artists - are traditionally for men.

Diplomats and rulers fall into the middle ground, so they're normally addressed by gender-neutral pronouns, and non-binary people are urged to persue these careers. Pronouns are also a form of showing a person's status, a bit like honorifics: because of that, it's common for people to have both preferred pronouns and official pronouns. For example, if a man has a traditionally "destructive" profession, say, one of a warrior, he would still use masculine pronouns in a casual setting, but would use feminine ones for official matters, because feminine pronouns are a sign of his profession.

Well, so much for not getting off-track and keeping things short.

Little conlang note - these are the pronouns of the language they speak in Shaniga:

Ini - third person masculine singular

Na - third person feminine singular

Ni - third person neutral singular, used in official settings, especially for the higher class.

[daydream-hobii]

Hybrid Heart Attack | Chapter 8

Genre: Poly!AU; Hybrid!AU; Fluff; Angst

Pairing: BTS x Female!Reader; Human!Seokjin x Human!Reader; Eventual relationship with Snow Leopard!Yoongi, Red Panda!Hoseok, Koala!Namjoon, Calico Cat!Jimin, Husky!Taehyung, Doberman!Jungkook

Summary: Y/n finds her current fiance during college, his name is Seokjin. They fell in love and dated for three years before he proposed. Now, Seokjin is a lawyer for hybrids, and Y/n, well, she has the perfect stay at home job. When Seokjin invites her to move in, she wasn’t expecting that he has six hybrids. She doesn’t know why a hybrid lawyer wouldn’t have hybrids, she just didn’t think about it…. Y/n is petrified of hybrids, something happened to her when she was little…. Guess she’ll have to adapt… or leave.

Warning: Mentions of Animal Attacks, Abuse (Physical & Mental), Depression, Anxiety; Possible PTSD mentions; Suggestions of Smut; Read with caution. <3 Mentions of Death of a Loved One; Read with Caution~ <3

Word Count: 1,619

// Previous // Next //

Author’s Note: Welcome to Chapter 8! Ooooh, this is a LONG BOI! I hope you all enjoy it!! ^_^

       Everything changed after that incident. A week has gone by, and I lock myself in my office. The lock that remained untouched was now being used. At first, Taehyung and Yoongi would always come by, just in case I left it unlocked. A small part of me wanted to open it, hold them and tell them I’m sorry because I ruined our friendship, our love… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

      I barely saw any of them. I’d eat in my office, stay there all day until it was bedtime, then I’d lock myself in the bedroom, let Seokjin in once he was ready, then lock it again and go to sleep. This was my routine. This was my fear winning. 

      One day, I ran into Namjoon and almost dropped to the ground in fear. My eyes were wide and I paled, backing away from him. He seemed so stunned by my reaction that he was frozen. I remember letting out a small noise in fear, booking it back to my office, heart pounding as I locked the door.

      It’s been a week. A whole week of this routine, and I find myself losing more of who I am. I reverted back to my fear, back to my panic. I started thinking about the wedding…. Seokjin is the best man I’ve ever known, I knew I loved him, he was my soulmate, he had to be… but could I live my life like this…?

      I was tired of being locked away, I was tired of being fearful. My hand instinctively went to my chest, where the long marks were, and I flinched. They had healed over for the most part, but they were still tender. In the back of my mind, I know Jungkook didn’t mean to. The shirt meant a lot to him and he thought I ruined it.

      The shirt…. What was that shirt? Why was it so meaningful? I didn’t know anything about Jungkook…. Seokjin didn’t know much either, just that he found him at the shelter, sad and angry. It took Jungkook a very long time to get him to trust him, years in fact. What was that shirt…?

      I’ve made a decision. I went to a search engine on my computer, typing in his name. Jeon Jungkook. I was surprised at the amount of articles pulled up. I read through them all, his anger and sadness making more and more sense. The shirt…. That’s why it was so meaningful….

      I stood up, grabbing my purse and going to my office door. I had to look at the shirt. I carefully snuck downstairs, heart racing. I went into the laundry room, seeing the shirt lying on the laundry basket. I quickly grabbed it, opening it. My suspicions were correct. I had to fix this for him.

      I snuck back out, walking towards the front door. The boys were all in the living room, talking. I caught a glimpse of Jungkook. He was sitting in the armchair, knees brought up to his chest and eyes filled with grief. My heart ached for him.

      I quickly went out the door and to my car, hopping in and speeding away. Again, I caught a glimpse of the six boys running out, watching my car drive away, shock in their eyes. I tried to ignore my question of what they were thinking. I went to the local police station, parking and getting out, going into it and to the front desk.

      “Can I help you?” A cheerful woman asked, smiling at me.

      “Hi, I’m wondering if anyone here knew a Jungkook? I believe he was-” The lady frowned, cutting my off.

      “Yes dear, let me take you to Officer Lee,” She said, standing and coming around to open a door for me. I quickly walked through, following her to an office where a large man sat.

      “Officer Lee?” The lady asked, making him look up. “This woman is here to speak to you.”

      “Hello, yes, please have a seat,” The man looked friendly, offering me the chair in front of him. The lady closed the door on the way out, and I became a bit embarrassed at my sudden appearance. “What can I help you with?”

      “Well… um… sir,” I stumbled, before letting out a slow breath to relax myself. “My fiance has a hybrid that we don’t know much about. He’s had him for two or three years, and I’m wondering if you can tell me about him. His name is Jeon Jungkook? He’s a doberman hybrid.”

      His eyes seemed to twinkle at the name, a little bit of joy, a bit of sadness. He sighed, nodding his head and rubbing his face.

      “I haven’t heard his name in a very long time…. What would you like to know…?” 

      That’s when I learned every possible thing I could about Jungkook. How he was raised, who his previous owner was, what he did for a living, why he stopped…. I know everything. It all made sense after that.

      “Thank you so much for your time,” I said, standing and shaking his hand. 

      “I appreciate it,” Officer Lee replied.

      “Oh, before I go,” I started, taking out the ruined shirt from my purse. “do you happen to have anymore of these…? I know it’s old, but his was ruined and he’s heartbroken about it.”

      “Actually, I believe we do, hold on.” The man stood up, walking out. After a few minutes, he came back with a couple of them. “Just in case another mishap happens.”

      “Thank you,” I replied with a smile, about to leave.

      “Miss?” He said, stopping me and having me turn to him. “He became very angry after the incident, I know that, but please… take care of him. He’s a good kid, and I know it’s still there.” I stared at him for a moment before nodding. I turned away, leaving the building to go home.

      When I got there, Seokjin’s car was in the driveway. It was already late when I left, so the day is ending quickly. I pulled up, walking to the front door, shirts hiding in my bag. I went inside, seeing everyone in the living room. Taehyung, Yoongi, and Namjoon had been crying, Hoseok and Jimin trying to console them. Jungkook still sat in the same location, the same position, looking more upset. Seokjin was pacing, concern on his face.

      “What happened?” I asked, worry growing in my stomach. All their eyes shot towards me, making me jump and look between them all. Seokjin ran over, throwing his arms around me. I frowned, bringing my hands up and tangling them in his hair.

      “We all thought you left us,” Seokjin choked out. “Left me.”

      “Oh, no,” I replied, furrow my brow in concern. “Honey, no, of course not. I would never leave unannounced, I would always talk to you about it first.”

      “I’m sorry,” He choked, pulling away and wiping his tears. “I know, I’m sorry.”

      “What were you doing?” Jimin squeaked out, carefully. My heart still raced, but I was more confident in myself, in them. I looked at Jungkook, whose eyes were on the ground.

      “I went to get Jungkook a present,” I replied, making them all wide eyed. Jungkook looked up, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Here.” I took out the two shirts, walking over and holding them out. My skin crawled with nerves and panic, but my mind was clear. 

      Jungkook sniffed the air, wide eyed. He took the shirts carefully, pressing them to his chest and looking up at me. I bit my lip, nervous that he’ll get upset that I went without his permission.

      “I know it’s probably not the same, but Officer Lee said these are the same shirts from when you were in the academy,” I said. Everyone in the room was stunned, the only two talking was myself and Jungkook.

      “Officer Lee?” Jungkook croaked out. “You talked to him?”

      “Yeah… um… I hope you don’t mind, but he told me a little about you,” I replied. I knelt in front of him, hesitating for only a moment before placing my hands on his knees.

      “Y/n…” Seokjin whispered, worry laced in his voice.

      “Kookie…” I whispered as he stared. “It wasn’t your fault….”

      “Yes, it was,” Jungkook growled, tears flowing down his cheeks. “If it wasn’t for me, she’d be alive!”

      “Jungkook,” I said, keeping my calm. “She wouldn’t have wanted you to be angry forever. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She was a fighter, she was an officer.”

      “Don’t talk like you knew her,” Jungkook growled, eyes sharp.

      “You’re right, I didn’t… but Officer Lee told me about her. Told me how much she loved her job, she loved wearing her badge. How much she loved you,” I replied, staying in place, trying to remain calm. “You didn’t know there were two guys in the building… it’s not your fault.”

      “Y/n, please,” Jungkook begged, his anger diminishing before my very eyes. Tears flowed down his cheeks, a quiet sob escaping his lips. “It was my fault, I should’ve smelled him.”

      “Kookie…. I know it wasn’t your fault,” I said, firmly. “No one thinks it’s your fault.”

      Jungkook burst into tears, trembling and covering his face. I slowly leaned up, wrapping my arms around him and gulping. My heart swelled as he wrapped his arms around me, crying into my shoulder. Even though this was a sad moment, one that I wish neither of us had to live through, this was the best progress I’ve made. This was, also, progress for Jungkook. He’s letting himself grieve, rather than be angry. I’m letting myself love, rather than fear. Progress.

[banqtanbabies]

roomies

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff (future smut)

warnings: light language

word count: 1.6k

a/n: italics indicate thoughts, lowercase intended. this is short, i know, but i plan on turning this into a small series so i hope you’ll all enjoy!! -O

it only took you 48 hours. 48 hours to make a decision that would change your life. 48 hours to determine that you were in fact adopting a hybrid, and you were doing it now. you pressed enter on your laptop, finalizing your payments for the supplies needed to house your new roommate. marching over to the table you breathed heavily, nerves racking your body as you grab your keys and head out the door.

it was 6:27. the adoption center closed at 7:00. you hoped that a miracle would happen, and you’d leave the clinic with a new companion before their closing time. as you neared the building, your breathing becomes slightly erratic. your feet halt in front of the door. should i be doing this? you shake the thought from your head and open the door. the entrance lead you to the lobby where you checked in and gave some information to the front desk worker. you were instructed to sit in the waiting room chairs until staff could bring you to the showing room.

after playing on your phone for a few minutes someone calls your name. you look up to see someone in green shirt with the adoption center logo. “i can’t believe this is happening right now,” you say to yourself as you walk to follow them.

the staff member talks nonstop about the different hybrids and their level of needed care, temperaments, quirks, and so on. as much as you appreciated her dedication to her work, the only hybrids you wanted to see were the bunnies. after telling the staff you were only interested in a bunny hybrid she quickly apologized and showed you to the bunny room. you walked into a small observation space where you watched the animals through a window to see how they acted without a human presence. one immediately catches your eye.

“who’s that?” you question, pointing to the rabbit. “oh, that’s jungkook. he’s our newest arrival. his old owners weren’t allowed to have hybrids and when their housing company found out, they gave him up,” the woman, whose name you found out was lea, tells you. you nod, “so how does the meeting portion work? i’d love to get in there and find my forever roomie!” your excitement can’t be contained as you clasp your hands and smile widely. “if you’re ready we can go on inside. most of them have been here long enough to know how it works, so you won’t be bombarded. just go up to them one by one and have a little chat,” lea directs you.

you try to calm your nerves and excitement as you step into the hybrids play room. “hello,” you call, “i’m y/n!” a few say hi back while others wave. jungkook smiles and wiggles his tail. when he sees you looking, he turns away from you, but not before you see the pink flush on his cheeks and nose. how cute. you walk around the room talking and gaining the interests of the other hybrids. your plan is to go to jungkook last, as he’s the one you’re most interested in. after speaking with every hybrid except one, you make your way over to the odd man out.“i’m y/n,” you smile, offering your hand to him. “hi,” he says timidly, taking your hand, “i’m-“ “jungkook,” you finish. “the lady told me your name when i asked about you,” you explain. “you asked about me?” he questions with a hint of disbelief in his tone. “yeah! you looked like someone that would get along with me well,” you state. jungkook blushes and you continue your conversation. you check your phone and see that it’s 6:57. “well, jungkook, i’ve got to get going, but it was lovely talking to you,” you say and pat his head as you leave the play room. entering back into the observation space you see lea filling out papers.

“jungkook. i’m gonna adopt jungkook.”

“are you sure he’s the one you want? the others seemed pretty fond of you.”

“no, i want jungkook. i’m 100% positive.”

lea walked you back to the front desk to fill out adoptions forms. anticipation coursing through your veins as you legalize the documents. the front desk employee tells you to sit and wait for them to bring jungkook out. you think back to meeting him just a few moments earlier. is he going to like me? lea acted like the others like me more. maybe i should have payed attention to them more. oh god, what if he hates me or my house or how i live. shit. i didn’t think about that. maybe i should- your thoughts are cut short buy the souls of feet walking through the door. looking up you see a smiling kook with a leash attached to the collar around his neck. lea leads him towards you and he walks slowly. you meet him halfway across the room and grab his leash. your happiness overtakes you and you wrap your arms around him tightly. jungkook stiffens at this and you let go immediately, “i’m so sorry,” you stammer, “i’m just so excited that you’re coming home with me!” you beam. he wrinkles his nose and giggles. you coo at his cute actions and ask if he’s ready to go. you thank the employees and walk him to you car.

“alright, buckle up,” you direct, “it only takes about 10 minutes to get to my apartment from here.” he smiles at you and you think your heart might burst on sight. after a short car ride filled with small talk, you reach your apartment. after unlocking the door you motion him inside, “this is my place!” you gesture to your medium sized living space. “it’s nice,” he voices. “let me show you around,” you grab his arm and pull him through your home. you let him get used to the home while you straighten up some more. after a little cleaning you call him to the living room area. “okay, so we only have a few dilemmas,” you start, “i ordered all the things that you should need, but they won’t be here until next week.” he nods, “your mattress will be here in 3 days, so you can sleep on the couch, or in my bed. i just washed the sheets and i can lay out on the couch until your bed gets here.” he begins to protest, “oh no! please, i’ll sleep on the couch. i wouldn’t want you uncomfortable in your own home.” you ruffle his hair, “i appreciate it, kook, but you live in this house now too. these are your first couple of days here and i want you to feel pleasant while you’re still getting used to things,” you explain. after a few moments of deliberation from him, he agrees to sleep in your bed until his arrives at the house. “awesome! um... what time do you usually go to bed?” you ask. “like 9:30? sometimes 10:00,” he answers. you check your phone and see that it’s only 7:45. “okay, we have some time then! have you eaten dinner yet?” you question. “no, i haven’t..” his tone falters at the end. “alright then! i’m treating you to some good eats!” you smile, grabbing your keys and wallet from the coffee table. “are you sure, i don’t want to burden you on my first day,” he voices, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “it’s no problem, jungkook, i want to do things for you,” you reassure him as lead him out the door.

after eating a nice dinner and learning about each other, you head back home. you laugh at a joke that he tells as you both walk though the door. you check the time and see that it’s 9:00. “oh! we were here for a while,” you say shocked, “i had a nice time with you though!” you continue. “i did too! i enjoyed your company a lot, y/n.” there’s a comfortable silence of looking into each other’s eyes. “well,” you break your gaze, “i guess i’ll get ready for bed. i’ll make breakfast in the morning and later we can go clothes shopping!” “you’re already doing so much, y/n, you really don’t have to.” he pleads. “it’s nothing, kook. anyways, your things are set in my room and the bathroom is connected so just do whatever you need to do and i’ll see you in the morning!” with that you grabbed some sleep clothes from your drawer and headed to the living room. you lay on the couch thinking about the night you shared with jungkook and your body feels warm with joy. this might just work out. you’re playing on your phone for a while and enjoying the nights silence when you hear light calls. you turn off you phone to focus on the sound, after listening you make out your name. worried, you jump from your spot on the couch and rush to where jungkook is sleeping. you knock lightly, so that you don’t scare him.

“y/n?” he calls lightly. “you okay, kook?” you ask opening the door slightly. “i had a bad dream,” he says sheepishly. “aww, do you wanna talk about it?” you question, sitting on the edge of the bed. “not particularly. um... could you lay with me?” he asks quietly, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to! i don’t want you to be uncomfortable. oh god, why did i ask you that was stupid of me. i’m sorry, y/n. i’ll just-“ you lay behind him wrapping your arms around his torso. “is this okay?” you ask courteously. “yeah- um, yes,” you feel him shudder slightly. “mmm, goodnight kook,” you mumble against his back. “night, noona.”

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment: 2

The Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with quiet activity as groups of students chatted softly over notes and books. It was that time of the year when exams were imminent. Lily and Remus were surrounded by books and papers. A floating teapot steamed as both students absently sipped tea. Remus had charmed it to stay warm and refill their cups as needed. Lily filed that knowledge away for later experimentation. They had started out on a sofa, but their notes and books began to spread out to the point that it became necessary to move down to the floor. Now, Peter was sprawled out behind them, occasionally asking for help with his Charms work.

The arrival of James and Sirius was heralded by the sound of running feet and laughter. When they entered the Common Room, several pairs of eyes gazed at them reproachfully.

“Oi, Padfoot ... why is it so quiet in here?” James whispered urgently.

Sirius shrugged. “Exams, I guess?”

“Exams?” James glanced at Remus, Lily, and Peter. “Exams. Yeah. I suppose I should probably ... do that.”

Sirius let himself flop inelegantly to the ground beside Remus, causing some of his notes to flutter. His teacup rattled indignantly.

Just when he was about to be annoyed, Sirius burrowed close, hugging his knee so awkwardly he had to chuckle instead. He gave the shaggy hair a gentle pat.

James looked as though he would very much like to do the same to Lily, but fortunately for him, thought better of it and sat beside Peter on the couch.

“Shove over a bit, would you, Pete? I suppose I should do a bit of review. Accio my Charms book!”

James’ book came hurtling down from the dorm in a manner very similar to its owner.

“What were you two off doing anyway?” Peter asked

James shrugged. “A bit of research. For Muggle Studies,” he said, a little too nonchalantly.

Lily cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “What sort of horrible Muggle-Magical hybrid did you two unleash? I haven’t forgotten when you charmed the outdated, terribly stereotypical Muggle outfits to have a walkabout.”

Sirius rolled onto his back, his proud smile at the memory so genuine it actually made Lily want to give him a pat on the head as well. Remus might be the werewolf, but sometimes, she thought privately, his boyfriend was positively canine.

“Those clothes were so stodgy. Like all of the Muggles are going about dressed like that! I know Muggle fashion and all I had to do was pay a bit of attention,” he said.

Lily nodded her agreement. Sirius could make a band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and a blazer look like he should be on a runway. Not that she would tell him that. His head was already big enough. He looked adoringly up at Remus, who blushed and let his arm rest across the other boy’s chest.

Instead, she said, “You do know that most Muggles don’t go about dressed like David Bowie and Freddie Mercury, right?”

Still grinning at the memory of stodgy old Muggle clothes having a stroll and then a waltz around the classroom, Sirius replied, “Only the cool ones.”

“Pads, your arse is on my Charms book. That can’t be comfortable,” Remus raised an eyebrow, then rolled his eyes. “Unless of course you’re actively trying to get me to reach for it. Attention hog.”

Sirius, who was once again wearing Remus’ oversized rust-colored jumper sighed happily. “I love how well you know me.”

Ever since Remus had given him the sweater when he had been hurt, Sirius found reason after reason to wear it. Remus had complained that when he wore the jumper it made him look shabby, but somehow made Sirius look artfully disheveled.

Her attention drifted to James, whose eyes flickered studiously across the pages of his Charms book. He hadn’t asked her out once since the incident around the holidays, and she was annoyed that this bothered her. Maybe he was embarrassed that she had seen him so upset? Sirius had been much worse off, and he didn’t seem awkward about it. If anything, he had started spending more time with her, gotten to know her, told her she was pretty, and thanked her a few dozen times for aiding in his rescue. Remus explained later that Sirius liked positive attention so much himself that he could go a bit overboard when he was trying to make someone feel good about themselves. She hadn’t minded.

She sighed, shut the book, and stretched her arms. “I need a moment. My brains are turning to mush.” She leaned back against the sofa, eyes closed, and felt the back of her head brush James’ knee. He tensed, but didn’t pull away.

Hmmm. Interesting. She decided to file the information away. Maybe he was over her? Embarrassed? Under orders from his friends to behave like a human being? If she asked the other Marauders, they would certainly tell James that she had asked, but maybe that wouldn’t be so bad?

She felt a wad of paper hit her face, then another. She opened her eyes to see the papery bird-creature Marlene had accidentally transfigured Lily’s essay into earlier in the year. The awful thing had been flapping about the Common Room ever since, letting out its mysteriously-appearing paper droppings at will. She had long since rewritten and turned in the essay, but the fact that she had not been able to stop the essay-bird was infuriating.

Peter had seen what happened, and he chortled gleefully. “That thing’s just had a dump on your forehead, Evans! I thought you and Marlene stopped it weeks ago.”

Lily sat up, glaring at the flappy, papery thing. “We put it in a bin, but it escaped. Marls dumped water on it yesterday, but it’s made a full recovery since. She swears she doesn’t know what went wrong to make it this way.”

Stirring his tea thoughtfully, Remus asked, “In some cultures, it’s good luck for a bird to have a poo on you.”

Lily raised an eyebrow at him and he hastily changed his direction. ”Have you asked McGonagall? I’d imagine she could stop the little pest.”

James laughed. “Can you imagine if she went after it in cat form? I’d pay to see that!”

Sirius was looking way too thoughtful, as though he was trying to engineer exactly how to have that happen. She envisioned his brain looking like a Rube Goldberg design on the inside. “Minnie could do it, that’s for sure.”

“The point is that it was my essay and I want to figure it out,” she said firmly. “It’s not hurting anyone. It’s just occasionally annoying. Rather like you lot, these days,” she said, her tone more affectionate than critical.

She stretched again, then pulled her book back into her lap. “What were you two up to earlier? What type of research were you doing?”

James turned a bit pink. “Nothing important. Not a prank, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said.

“Sirius?” Lily asked. “Anything you wish to tell me?”

He turned as pink as James. “Ah, well, you see ...”

James crossed his arms, scowling.  “Traitor.”

“Look at her eyes, James! She’s giving me those sad baby animal eyes. You know I’m powerless here,” Sirius rationalized.

James glanced up at Lily and nodded. “Fine, then.”

“So ... James and I, we got rather ... interested in that episode of Muggle tell-o-vision we watched in class.”

She frowned. “The one with the doctors? The medical soap opera?”

“That’s the one. You see, I like a good story, and so does old Prongsy. When we were first years, Moony used to read out loud sometimes, just in the dorm, you know? Hard to sleep sometimes when you’re little and off alone the first time, right?”

Peter snorted. “First years? Moony still reads him to sleep sometimes - “

“Anyway, the point is that me and James, we got really sort of invested in knowing whether or not the surgery was successful.”

“What?” Lily watched them both, confused.

“Like, did Mr. Morris die? Did he live? How did his wife take it? Did he ever find out his son wasn’t really his? Did his brother find out? You can’t just show a bloke one chapter and not ever let him see the rest of the book!”

Sirius sounded so indignant she was torn between wanting to laugh out loud and hug him.

James took over. “I hate unresolved story lines. So, we sneaked into the lab to see if the Prof had more of it on the - the tape, was it? Are they tapes? Because I thought tapes were the new records?”

Looking thoroughly scandalized, Sirius protested, “Nothing will ever replace vinyl, Prongs. It’s not right.”

She laughed and caught Remus’ eye. His smile lit up his face, she suspected as much by the admission of story time as by their insatiable desire to find out how the unfortunate Mr. Morris had fared.

Trust serialized Muggle television drama to ensnare the minds of the most ridiculously curious members of Gryffindor House.

“Did you find it?” She asked.

They exchanged glances. “No ... but we did knock over the entire tell-o-vision catalog. We tried to put it right, but Filch was on the move, and we had to bolt,” Sirius explained.

“The films - those are the round ones, right? They were rolling about, and we had to go out the window and climb up to avoid being caught,” James finished.

Surprising even herself, Lily laughed out loud at their tale. The Muggle artifacts in the lab were just that - artifacts. Most of them were so old they were from her parents’ time rather than the current decade.

“First of all, it’s absolutely adorable that you’re so interested. Especially since shows like that are mostly watched by Muggle housewives with awfully boring lives. Secondly, my mum and my sister watch that soap opera, I believe. I can inquire over the summer and send you an owl, if you like.”

The hopefulness in their eyes was so ridiculous that Peter and Remus burst into guffaws as well.

Helplessly, Remus managed, “We’ve always said James was a bit mumsy. When his Quidditch kids get hurt, when one of us needs him - aww, don’t blush, Prongs. It’s actually very sweet. I mean it.”

James shook his head, joining in the laughter. “An owl would be great, Lily. We’ll both be at my place this year, so ... two birds one stone? Er ... okay, bad taste there, Potter. No killing, then.”

Lily smiled as sweetly as she could. “There’s only one bird on my kill list, and it’s the one that was formerly my essay.” She gestured with two fingers from her eyes and pointed at the roosting paper bird. “I’ve got my eyes on you!”

Sirius squinted at it from his position on the floor. “What if - no, it couldn’t ...”

“What?” She asked. “What if what?”

Hesitantly, he continued. “What if ... when it, well ... shits, it’s actually editing your essay? Have you unwrapped any of the droppings?”

She made a face. “No, I have not unwrapped the droppings. Ugh!”

James stood, bowed before her, and went to pick up some of the little balls of paper. He gave a small cry of disgust. “Why is it ... moist? Padfoot, help!”

“Can’t. ‘m comfortable. If I get up, I’ll die.”

“Drama, much?” Remus asked, dryly.

“Drama always,” Sirius sighed happily, hugging Remus’ knee even tighter.

James pushed on, peeling back the mushy paper bits, making a face the whole time.

With a monumental effort and a long sigh, Sirius pushed himself upright. “It doesn’t eat, mate. It can’t be that bad. You’ve spat parchment loogies twice that size and somehow didn’t get poisoned,” he said, taking a little paper ball into his hand as well. “Christ, it’s mushy! That’s quite distasteful.”

At that point, Peter joined in, picking an old one off of the end table next to the sofa. “You’re right, Pads. It’s ... damp.”

Remus sighed heavily. “As I’m out of synonyms for the word wet, I suppose this is up to me.”

He pulled out his wand, levitated the paper ball, and then cast a drying charm on it. “Remember? We’re magical?” He asked, sarcastically.

Remus unwrapped the now-dry ball of paper and read aloud, “Remove third paragraph, take the fourth sentence and use it as a thesis statement. Rework.”

“Well!” Lily fumed.

Sirius did the same and read his, “Must pare down. Far too long-winded.”

Peter read, “Too wordy. Please summarize Paragraph twenty.”

“Really!” She growled.

James looked at his, looked back up at Lily, and thought better of it, stuffing the paper ball into his pocket. “Um ... Lily? Were you and Marls partnered on this essay, by chance?”

“Yes, why?” She asked, expectantly.

She was finding herself most distracted by the way he rubbed at his arm when he was nervous. When had she noticed that he did that?

“Because,” he said, a little reluctantly. “I think she may have pranked you but good. There is no way this is accidental magic or a mistake. It’s bloody brilliant!”

“If Marlene did this, we’re missing out on a potentially amazing pranking resource! Where is she, anyway? Haven’t seen her all day.” Sirius stood on a chair, trying to gently scoop the paper bird into his hand. It flapped indignantly to a higher perch.

Moments later, all four Marauders were after the bird, shouting, laughing, and levitating furniture and one another. Remus tried an Accio on it, but it didn’t work.

James let out a low whistle. “Merlin, she’s good! What did you do to piss her off, anyway?”

Lily thought, but couldn’t come up with anything. She winced at the sight of Sirius, being levitated by Peter toward the overhead lamps.

“Steady on, Pete! Don’t drop me, mate!” He called as he reached for the essay-bird. His hands were about to close around it, when the door opened to admit Minerva McGonagall.

“It’s a bit noisier than usual in here. Is anything wr - “ She stopped, taking in the sight of Sirius mid-air, James on a chair, and Remus on the floor, still guarding their notes and books, and his floating teapot. “Mr. Black! You come right down here this moment! Mr. Pettigrew, put him down. Gently!” Admonished the Gryffindor Head of House.

When Sirius was safely on the floor, she asked calmly, “Could someone explain the wild rumpus I could hear through the wall in my study?”

Sirius grinned at her. “I knew you cared, Minnie.”

McGonagall ignored him, but there was no fire in her glare.

Lily and James started at the same time, “Well, Professor,” “You see, Professor, I - “

The essay-bird took its opportunity to swoop free of Sirius’ grasp, and dump a wet little paper ball on McGonagall’s head. Without a single moment of hesitation, she transformed into a cat, leapt into the air, and caught it in her teeth, giving it a little shake for good measure.

All of the students stared, but the Marauders and Lily were momentarily speechless. Professor McGonagall transformed quickly back into herself, removed the paper bird from her mouth quite daintily, and tucked it into the pocket of her robe.

“Was that the trouble, then?” She asked.

“Yes, Professor McGonagall,” Lily answered. “It - it used to be my old Charms essay. I had to rewrite, after, well ...” She gestured to the pocket area of the professor’s robe.

“An excellent essay you turned in, Miss Evans. It will be curious to have a look at the old one, if I can get it to unspell itself without destroying it.” She glanced around the room to where James and Sirius were still a bit star-struck from her heroic feline actions. “If everything is well, I shall return to my grading?”

Satisfied that her students were safe and much quieter, she left.

“Merlin,” James breathed. “That was brilliant!”

“It was like a prophecy. I wished for it, and it happened! Did someone slip me a luck potion or what?” Sirius exclaimed. “She just ... transformed ... already in the air and took it down, like a little tabby tiger for the kill!”

It took a few minutes for the excitement to die down, but as Lily returned to studying and drinking tea with Remus, she cast another surreptitious glance at James. Huh. Not hideous, a bit mumsy, and loves a good story. Who knew?

[the-master-cylinder]

The rise of Empire as a low budget producer with their “Beyond Infinity” video line resembles the start-up of AIP during the drive-in boom of the late ’50s, when a definite market existed for a certain product: films for the teenage audience, the wilder and more outrageous the better. The drive-ins “made” American-International Pictures, and like AIP, the VCR spurred Empire and other companies to produce films for a new market. But-having seen most of Empire’s Beyond Infinity offerings to date-one thing is obvious: unlike AIP, Empire lacks the creative genius of a low-budget auteur like Roger Corman. Imagination is not necessarily related to a film’s budget; low-budget films could be original, entertaining, and thought-provoking. But, Beyond Infinity’s releases thus far have proved to be inane, routine, and boring.

The Empire films follow a standard pattern: an exploitative, campy title; garish ad art; scripts which slavishly follow tried-and true formulas; varying amounts of nudity, gore effects, and juvenile humor. Of course, these traits apply equally well to the offerings of Empire’s competitors, particularly Troma Pictures, although Beyond Infinity product has a California pastel plasticity as opposed to Troma’s sleazy New York sheen. The fact that there is little of real interest to be found in any Beyond Infinity film certainly contributed to the commercial downfall of Empire and its video arm. Though the films themselves may not be completely devoid of entertainment value, most of the creativity seems to have gone into dreaming up the exploitable titles.

Dave DeCoteau, director of several projects released by Empire’s “Beyond Infinity” video label, pegged the fall of Band’s Empire to “the market place. It’s changed,” said DeCoteau. “There was a time that horror and fantasy fans saw just about anything that was made available on video. These days, quality prevails among genre movies, including films that are squarely made for direct-to-video release. You have to make the best movie you can and spend the money to do it right. If someone tries to pawn off a piece of shit, they’re shown the door.”

Reflecting on his three picture stint at Empire, DeCoteau said, “Charlie Band’s company was the young filmmaker’s first stop after college. There was a lot of experimentation as young people learned to work with low budgets. As a result, Empire wound up with a lot of product that was not all that wonderful. The company has been called the Sausage Factory of the Cinema. But you can’t keep making sausages, one after the other, sometimes a steak falls off the conveyor belt. Sometimes that steak is a picture like Stuart Gordon’s RE-ANIMATOR. There’s also a lot of sausages. Creepozoids is one of those sausages … but I’m learning.”

DeCoteau tied Empire’s loss of revenue to an aborted video output deal with New World Pictures, announced in August 1987, as the event which triggered Empire’s collapse. Over a two-year period, New World Video was to release five Empire titles, including Prison (1987), Cellar Dweller (1988), Buy & Cell (1988), Pulse Pounders (1988), and APPARATUS. “Empire made four of the pictures back to back,” said DeCoteau. “But because of the 1987 stock market crash, the deal between Empire and New World seemed to change; New World refused to pick up all of the Empire films as quickly as planned. They eventually released two of the films: PRISON, which had a limited theatrical run, and also CELLAR DWELLER, but the others are still being worked on.” Empire was purchased last May by Epic Pictures, a European financial consortium supervised by Eduard Sarlui, owner of Transworld Entertainment. “Basically, Empire and Transworld are owned by the same company,” said DeCoteau of the Epic umbrella. “Epic Pictures is finishing all the movies that Charlie [Band] started, which is a good dozen … ARENA, CATACOMBS, DOWN UNDER, SPELLCASTER, ROBOJOX.

DeCoteau, trained as a production assistant on films as diverse as ANGEL and Ken Russell’s CRIMES OF PASSION, made his debut as a producer-director with Empire on DREAMANIAC (1986), released on the company’s Wizard video label, distributed by Vestron. “I started pre-producing it as a picture called SUCCUBUS,” said DeCoteau. “Helen Robinson, who wrote the script knew the head of creative development at Empire Pictures, Debra Dion. Helen mentioned to Debi that she’d like to write a movie for Empire. Debi asked for a sample of her work and Helen gave her the SUCCUBUS script.” Empire, impressed with Robinson’s work, offered to purchase the screenplay; Robinson declined, insisting that De Coteau already owned it.

“Empire reacted by wanting to get involved in the production,” said DeCoteau. “Only four days before we were scheduled to start principal photography, I met Charlie Band, president of Empire Pictures.” Band not only doubled the movie’s original budget to $60,000, but vowed to reimburse DeCoteau for his personal investment “upon completion of principal photography.”

Wrapped in 15 days, the $70,000 movie was filmed in the abandoned studio of Hustler photographer Suze Randall. The film a blend of critters, slime and skin reunited DeCoteau with Kim McKamy, who made her film debut in DREAMANIAC. “Ironically,” remembers the director, “Kim refused to do any nudity. She was very shy and an all around sweet person.” McKamy later transformed herself into X-rated starlet Ashlyn Gere (aka Kim Patton), whose films-SORORITY SEX KITTENS, BUSH PILOTS, LAID IN HEAVEN—were about as demure as their titles.

“During a screening of the dailies,” recalls DeCoteau, “Charlie Band looked at me and held up ten fingers. I asked what it meant and he said, ‘Ten picture deal.’ I nearly fell out of my chair. We went upstairs, he drew up a contract and opened a $100 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne and we drank it out of Dixie cups. The next day, the cover of Daily Variety read in big bold letters, ‘CHV 10 PIC PACK DEAL WITH EMPIRE.’ [Cinema Home Video partner] John Schouweiler and I went crazy. I was only 25 years-old!

“Whenever Charles had big picture deals, I would be the slave to the market and make the smaller horror, erotic, high concept T&A movies…whatever was hot. I rarely did an ‘A’ movie for him, but I was constantly working.”

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DeCoteau’s subsequent project for Empire was CREEPOZOIDS, produced as a Beyond Infinity release for $169,000. “We wanted to do our own version of ALIENS,” said DeCoteau. “So we put together a picture called MUTANT SPAWN 2000 and I was developing a picture called CREEPOZOIDS, which was actually a hybrid of GREMLINS and GHOULIES. We just flip flopped the titles, referring to the ALIENS rip-off as CREEPOZOIDS.”

“I first met David when he worked as a caterer on a short film called THE CAYTONSVILLE ELEVEN,” says Linnea Quigley. “I was excited to work with him. There’s no huge ‘I’m a director’ ego. He’s not into himself. He’s a good businessman and he talks about stuff besides movies. He even had vegetarian food for me every day, and warm Sparklett’s water for my lusty shower scene in CREEPOZOIDS.”

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DeCoteau not only directed, but also functioned as the movie’s co producer and co writer. In spite of its diminutive budget, CREEPOZOIDS was theatrically released on a double-bill with SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY. The twin bill was released by Urban Classics, the theatrical arm of Empire’s Beyond Infinity video line. CREEPOZOIDS made the transition to video a few months later in January ’88, selling 15,000 tapes for Empire, according to DeCoteau.

DeCoteau’s next film for Empire, THE IMP, was limited to a shooting schedule of two weeks. Budgeted at $190,000, with ten per cent in above the line costs for DeCoteau’s expenses as director and co-producer, locations were selected outside of Los Angeles to conserve funds. “Los Angeles is the most expensive city in the world to make a movie,” said DeCoteau, “because of the permits, location costs, and everything like that. It’s hard to rent a basic middle-class tract house in the Valley for less than a grand a day. You have to go to places like San Marcos two hours south of Los Angeles–and you can get those same locations for $100 or $200. We found all of the cooperation there we really wanted.”

A moral (“be careful what you wish for, you may get it”) is extrapolated from the film’s title character, a mean-spirited genie. Since DeCoteau was not budgeted for elaborate special effects, he settled for a cable operated puppet to play the imp, preferring Grimm’s Fairy Tale simplicity to a “realistic” interpretation. Nevertheless, the movie proved to be so ambitious that the production exceeded its budget; extra expenses came out of DeCoteau’s own pocket.

“If we went over budget, our salaries were on the line,” said DeCoteau of Empire’s modus operandi. “So I walked away from THE IMP with very little money because I ended up spending some of my own salary on pick-up shots and things like that. Charlie (Band) isn’t the type to write you a check if you go over budget; you decide on a budget, you shake his hand, and either bring it in on budget or you don’t work anymore. I didn’t make much on that film, but such is life.”

In the film. Michelle Bauer, acquitted herself not only as a B-movie sex kitten but as a thoroughly credible actress and sterling comedienne. “David has a keen sense for people,” says Bauer. “There’s a side of him which is completely understanding. He’s more relaxed than most directors, and likes to have fun. When he was under pressure, it didn’t seem to affect the cast. He kept it under control. We were having fun as friends. It never seemed like we were working at all.”

Nevertheless, production of SORORITY BABES shot during evenings in a San Diego mall and adjacent bowling alley-was sometimes grueling. “There were personal conflicts among, some of the cast,” recalls Stevens. “The late Robin Rochelle Stille drank way too much on the set, and was always beating the crap out of Linnea in their fight scenes. Poor Linnea was constantly applying muscle rub to her many livid bruises. And she had to deal with the teenage angst of young co-star Andras Jones in the room next door. He even dumped his mattress over the hotel balcony, irrationally screaming, ‘I’m in my sexual prime!’ Andras went on to become a rather famous folk singer.”

Stevens experienced her own trauma, “dealing with another actress who clearly felt threatened by me and spared no punches while shooting our fight scenes. She pushed me down so hard, I dislocated my knee, which I had to pop back into place myself.” DeCoteau recounts, “It wasn’t pretty. She had to take four days off, but was a trouper…did her job without complaint.”

Flying furniture and torn ligaments notwithstanding, the set was infused with a party panache. “It’s the only film I’ve directed where I was continuously drunk,” chuckles DeCoteau, “— many people were! It had an open bar that we put to good use.”

“It’s one of my favorite films,” says Quigley, “because I played a tough girl and kept my clothes on. It’s fun to be mean.”

Charlie’s father, Albert Band, head of production at Empire, startled DeCoteau by insisting that nudity, playfully performed for slapstick scenes, “must” be trimmed from the director’s cut of the movie. DeCoteau, realizing nudity is a commercial exponent of the exploitation formula, appealed to Charles Band. Band inquired about the running time that was assembled for the movie’s rough cut. “I told him we were well under 80 minutes,” said DeCoteau, “When I shoot a picture, rarely does the final footage pass the 80-minute length. So they can’t do much editing because a feature-length film shouldn’t run that short. As a result, Charlie told me to put the nude scenes back in.”

Band retitled the picture SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA (according to DeCoteau, Band had wanted to make it BITCHIN’ SORORITY BABES … ) and released it theatrically through Urban Classics on a double bill with GALACTIC GIGOLO (originally titled CLUB EARTH), directed by Gorman Bechard.

Like DeCoteau, Bechard was another Band discovery whose independently financed feature PSYCHOS IN LOVE was picked up by Empire for release. Unlike DeCoteau, Bechard had nothing good to say about his stint at Band’s company. “I know what it’s like to be raped, “said Bechard about producing and directing two other features for Empire.

For his next feature, PSYCHOS IN LOVE, a black comedy (a “working woman” addresses the camera with “I guess I thought me being both a manicurist and a psychotic killer would, well, turn a guy off”), Bechard chose to ally himself with Empire.

“They offered me what I thought at the time was a good advance for PSYCHOS IN LOVE,” said Bechard. “I didn’t know better. And they offered me a four-picture deal with it, as an enticement to give them PSYCHOS IN LOVE. When you’re an independent filmmaker, finding the money is the worst thing in the world, and here I was able to do four pictures and pretty much have control. Charlie Band gave me tons of wonderful promises, saying, “Well, you can come up here, assist in the editing …,’ and all these other lines of bullshit. Being basically a fellow who wanted this very badly, I believed everything he said.”

CLUB EARTH, the first of Bechard’s four-picture deal with Empire, was an omen of the discord and mistrust that would sour the relationship. Bechard conceived the movie as a social satire involving an intergalactic tourist. Empire preferred to push CLUB EARTH as GALACTIC GIGOLO, and re-edited Bechard’s original cut into their concept of a more exploitable product.

“When I gave them PSYCHOS IN LOVE, I had it in writing that they wouldn’t change it at all,” said Bechard. “If I had not done that, they probably would have raped that film and it would have never been a film that I’m proud of. I am proud of PSYCHOS IN LOVE. But I think GALACTIC GIGOLO was sodomized by Charlie Band. We filmed it as a non-animated adult cartoon. That was my concept. We used the brightest colors … I mean, every different set looked like a color cartoon frame from the Sunday paper. In [color] timing the film, [Empire] took out all of the colors and left it really flat and ugly. Their editing and pacing is nothing short of pathetic; they left out some wonderfully funny stuff, and they left in all of the shit. Their motto is ‘when in doubt, cut to a pair of tits.’ I found out that CLUB EARTH was retitled GALACTIC GIGOLO through a brochure from Empire’s Urban Classics; they never had the decency to tell me they were changing the name of my movie.”

Bechard’s next film for Empire, a black comedy titled TEENAGE SLASHER SLUTS, was presold by the company in foreign markets as Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988). “They found the word ‘sluts’ to be offensive,” said Bechard of Empire’s logic behind the title change. “And then they go and propose two other movies with the word ‘sluts’ in the title!” Empire eventually completed Bechard’s movie under the title HACK ‘EM HIGH, turning over the ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS title to DeCoteau.

“That title presold so well, at [1987’s] American Film Market, it actually scored better than the movies in Empire’s bigger budgeted, non-Infinity division,” said DeCoteau. “Gorman Bechard completed the movie and set up a screening for Empire. It turned out to be a disappointment. Let’s just say that Gorman’s movie did not justify all of the enthusiasm. ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS had to be brilliant, or close to it, considering the enormous presales money that was attracted from its title.”

Bechard said he deserves some of the credit for the title’s fabulous presales at the AFM, having instigated an eye-catching spread on the film in People magazine which featured Ruth Collins and Debi Thibeault, the actresses in his version. Bechard laid the blame for Empire’s dissatisfaction with the final film to the manner in which Band ran his company.

Charlie [Band] never read the script,” said Bechard. “I had the script approved by David Ross, who used to be in Empire’s development department, and by Debra Dion, who is now Charlie’s wife. I have a written letter from David Ross which says, ‘Yeh, we like the script. Just make a couple of little changes here and there.’ Basically, we agreed that it was good. Afterwards, I started filming and almost two or three weeks after we wrapped, Charlie calls me up and said he finally read the script. He said he didn’t like it. I don’t know how you run a company and allow someone to use your money to make a film without ever having read the script. That, to me, is not really the way to do business but, again, Empire is not the way to do business. When it became HACK EM HIGH, I said, ‘Wait a minute, there’s no hacking and there’s no high school.’ Of course, they came up with some new scenes that we had to reshoot which were along the lines of the usual Empire quality.”

While Empire fobbed off Bechard’s film as HACK ‘EM HIGH to foreign buyers at Milan’s Mifed Film Market, ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS, scheduled for imminent release and eagerly awaited by distributors, existed as nothing more than a concept. Empire frantically searched for an existing script that would qualify as an adaptation of their most exploitable title.

Charles Band gave up WIZARD VIDEO after he ended his deal with VESTRON. WIZARD was distributed by LIGHTENING which was owned by VESTRON and when he left that deal and went over to NEW WORLD VIDEO which then he only released one movie with them, he started a new label called URBAN CLASSICS which he would handle the physical distribution eternally. He wouldn’t do a label deal and the first released was SLAVEGIRLS and that was doing pretty well and CREEPZOIDS was doing pretty well. And they were doing okay and then they started to make these movies back in Connecticut and they were making them cheaper in Connecticut than they were here in LA. They even had a guy out in New York, Tim Kincaid, who was making movies and those weren’t that bad. But there was a guy in Connecticut named Gorman Bechard who I guess was not only producing, writing, and directing, he was the cameraman and he did lights. And he was making these 35mm movies for only $30,000. Charlie was going wow, I got this great deal. And I was saying, Charlie if you want to give me $30,000 I’ll give you $30,000 but it’s going to look like $30,000. But give me $75,000 – $90,000 and you’ll get better movies. But anyway. Gorman did his first movie and what happened was this major snafu with ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS. It was pre-sold with huge amounts of numbers and the URBAN CLASSICS films were presented to foreign buyers as pictures made between $1-2 million. He was showing these films to people overseas after he made them to the movie here and I brought in another director, Anita Rosenberg, who at the time didn’t think she knew what she was doing. But it ended up being the best of the URBAN CLASSICS movies. – Director Dave DeCoteau on the start of URBAN CLASSICS

A serviceable script, described by DeCoteau as a “generic but cute girls-on-the run” adventure, was considered from screenwriter Anita Rosenberg, who had previously written MODERN GIRLS for Atlantic Pictures. DeCoteau postponed his preparation of Beyond Infinity’s SPACE SLUTS IN THE SLAMMER to direct the movie. Rosenberg, however, demanded complete autonomy.

Anita Rosenberg

According to DeCoteau, “Rosenberg told Empire, ‘Sure, I’ll sell you the script for 100 grand.’ I said, ‘What do you mean, 100 grand? We pay five grand per script!’ She said, “I’ll sell it to you for five grand if you let me direct it.’ I said, “What other films have you done?’ She said, ‘Nothing, though I have done a short film.’ Empire looked at her short film, thought it was adequate enough, and agreed to let Rosenberg direct it.” DeCoteau was hired as producer for “double the usual budget and triple his customary salary.

Though he was reimbursed for services rendered on GALACTIC GIGOLO and HACK ‘EM HIGH, Bechard claims he was shortchanged on the proceeds from PSYCHOS IN LOVE. “We were promised wonderful percentages of the gross, not of the net, on the film,” said Bechard. “I made sure they couldn’t pull any accounting tricks. But they did pull a great accounting trick; they just never bothered reporting to us. We were supposed to be getting quarterly statements and checks. We never got anything. My letters to Charlie Band, complaining about this situation, and the shabby treatment of my films, were ignored.”

A forthcoming documentary by Kathy Milani, B-MOVIE, traces the production of HACK ‘EM HIGH from the film’s preproduction phase to Band’s phone call alerting Bechard of Empire’s resistance to his adaptation of “a script that Band, up to that point, had not read.” Bechard promises B-MOVIE will enlighten prospective filmmakers to the hazards of low-budget filmmaking. (Milani is currently seeking completion funds and or grants.)

Meanwhile, Bechard is also exorcising his frustrations with Empire through a manual titled “Assault of the Independent Filmmaker;” as the book’s author, Bechard vowed to “paint a no holds-barred picture of the making of each of my films, from the detailed budgets to the whole filming process, to dealing with not-always reputable distributors and investors. Filmmaking is, unfortunately, the sleaziest business in the world, and it bothers me that I can’t picture myself doing anything else.”

When Empire hit the financial skids last year, some theatrical projects like GHOULIES II and CELLAR DWELLER went straight to home video while others were shelved as incomplete. For a company that in the past boasted production agendas cluttered with a dozen titles pegged as either in production “or” in preparation,” in 1988 Empire launched only one-Dave DeCoteau’s Dr. Alien (1989) (I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant), started on a budget of $400.000. The company folded before production was finished.

But Band opened up shop again late last year, calling his new operation the Bandcompany, like Empire specializing in international sales, with a video line dubbed Phantom Home Video, and a production arm called Full Moon Productions. Band’s first announced project was Edgar Allan Poe’s THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, to be directed by Stuart Gordon. “He’s back into making pictures,” said DeCoteau. “He won’t be making as many and they won’t be as cheap.”

When Band jumped ship from Empire, his deal to sell the company gave him ownership of a trio of productions, according to DeCoteau. Band used the films, including DeCoteau’s I WAS A TEENAGE SEX MUTANT, THE INTRUDER (formerly NIGHT CREW), and JUNGLE HEAT (formerly PIRANHA WOMEN) to form his new company and subsequently negotiated a contract with Paramount Home Video for their release. I WAS A TEENAGE SEX MUTANT, now retitled DR. ALIEN!, was scheduled to be released in November.

Interview with Dave DeCoteau

Looking back on the beginning of your career, how would you appraise Dreamaniac? Dave DeCoteau: Dreamaniac was an experiment; it was my little film school project, wrapped up in ten days. It was like learning how to do it, and learning how do it quickly, because I only had ten days to learn a career’s worth of information and make a decent movie. It was made on a $60,000 budget.

The ending of Dreamaniac-with the abrupt disclosure of a succubus as a mental patient-seems like a postproduction afterthought. Who was responsible for the cop-out compromise? Dave DeCoteau: Me. I decided to go with kind of a triple-twist ending, just for the hell of it, since the film had nothing else to offer.

Your films have gotten even more exposure on cable TV, what with broadcasts on USA, Pay-Per-View… Dave DeCoteau: But, you know, Creepozoids and Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl A-Rama did better, during their original release, in foreign territories than domestically. We were well received in Britain. Creepozoids was number seven on the Top Ten Selling-Rental charts during the month of its release; The Untouchables was number eight! Sorority Babes, released in the United Kingdom as The Imp, did almost as good business as Creepozoids.

What’s the background of Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama, your most unique movie? Dave DeCoteau: Charlie (Band) wanted, a “little genie” movie to be called The Imp. I came in the next day, and read off five story lines. The fifth one was a joke, never intended to be taken seriously, about a little genie that was squished inside a bowling trophy back in the 50s and unleashed upon some sorority babes and fraternity initiates on Hell Night. Charlie liked that concept more than any of the other ones, and we decided to go with it.

There’s a frantic chase scene, near the conclusion of Sorority Babes, without music on the soundtrack. Was this intentional or an accidental omission? Dave DeCoteau: The music channel of the entire Reel Seven did not make it to the one inch video master. When you do a final mix on a picture, you mix sound on three stripes-the dialogue, the music, and a (sound) effects track. You do the video mastering by taking your film, and your three channels of sound, and putting them onto broadcast-quality one-inch video tape for half-inch duplication. When they transferred the entire show, they accidentally forgot to drop the music channel from Reel Seven; they only transferred two channels, the dialogue and effects. The music’s omission marred the film. Fifteen or twenty-thousand copies of the tape went out without the musical channel on Reel Seven, which is the climax of the film and (originally) had an incredible musical score. I was very upset because Empire, at the time, did not let me quality control the one-inch masters. First-time viewers of Sorority Babes may prefer to hum their own theme.

Tell me where did you come up with the title SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIME BOWL-O-RAMA? Dave DeCoteau: I didn’t come up with the title. It was shot as THE IMP and Charlie Band came up with the title. He had a little I fun to watch. The experience was a lot of fun, Making movies is never really been that much fun. The two best days of making a movie is the day you get the financing and the rap party. And everything between is a pain in the fucking ass. You always have to compromise, you can’t do exactly what you want to do. Because the budgets are so low the schedules are tight and you can’t always get the actors you want and you get the actor, you could only use him for a couple days and you can’t use him for any overtime. The process is real tough. And I think PUPPETMASTER III as being my best film in most people’s eyes but just had a horrendous time making that film.

Which of your pre-Doctor Alien (1989) films is your favorite? Dave DeCoteau: I have to admit I have this bizarre affection for Creepozoids, I don’t know what it is, but when I was making that film I really took it deadly serious and expected it to be a lot better than it was. The reviews have been horrible, but-God!-every time I show it to somebody, they kind of, like, smile. It’s actually a serious attempt, whereas all the other films we’ve been doing seem to be a little campy or silly.

Didn’t Creepozoids get positive reviews in Europe? Dave DeCoteau: Excellent reviews! The United Kingdom is asking for a sequel and they’re ready to cut a check to finance it. Unfortunately, I don’t have the sequel rights to that film, so I probably won’t do it.

You made some of your past films for under $200,000. What was the budget on Doctor Alien? Dave DeCoteau: About $400,000. It’s a home video, a damn good example of direct-to-video product. I love it. It’s a very entertain. ing film for me, and everyone seems to enjoy it. The only problem about not releasing it theatrically is that it is a comedy, and comedies work very well with large audiences. I’m going to screen it for the Science Fiction Academy here, and for a few other people.

Why did you choose a more mainstream celebrity-Judy Landers-for Doctor Alien and Ghost Writer? Dave DeCoteau: When we were casting for the Doctor Alien role of Ms. Xenobia, we wanted to go with a Mary Woronov type. Well, we auditioned hundreds of Mary Woronov, Barbara Steele and Caroline Munroe types, and we realized it just didn’t work the way it was written… it wasn’t funny. So I said, “Let’s bring Judy in for a hoot.” I just wanted to meet the girl. She came in with the scenes memorized and gave us a reading, and we were falling on the floor laughing our heads off. She played it so wonderful, and so funny, that she was perfect for the part.

With the exception of your first film, Dreamaniac, your movies have avoided the “sex begets violence” syndrome. Did you consciously reject this routine premise? Dave DeCoteau: Yeah… women are not victims in my films. A female victim in my films is very, very rare. Women are the aggressors in my movies, they’re the ones who save the day. Look at Linnea Quigley in Sorority Babes: she never showed a nipple and she kicked ass, and she saved the day…

The History of Empire Films Part Five The rise of Empire as a low budget producer with their “Beyond Infinity” video line resembles the start-up of AIP during the drive-in boom of the late '50s, when a definite market existed for a certain product: films for the teenage audience, the wilder and more outrageous the better.