lilydeerwrites

[lilydeerwrites]

Important Questions

So, dogs can’t have chocolate. Remus Lupin is a werewolf. Who loves chocolate. 1.) Is this some kind of eff u to his inner canine? 2.) If Sirius found Remus’ chocolate in Animagus form and ate it, would it hurt him? Asking for a friend. For reasons.

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment 3: Part 4: A Lily and Sirius Sidequest conintued ...

The motorcycle transaction went well. The neighbor, a Mr. Trevorsmith, was beyond relieved to be rid of the motorcycle. Apparently, his wife was well over it and wanted it gone. He showed Sirius a few tricks to get it started, wrote down instructions about petrol and parts, and took his money gratefully. Lily was impressed with Sirius' ability to remember how to use Muggle currency and to ask insightful questions about the function and care of the machine. Two helmets came with the motorcycle, having belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Trevorsmith during their courtship. Three kids later, she no longer had interest, apparently.

Sirius thanked the man sincerely and politely, but she could see the glee and elation lurking behind his polite smile. The very moment the man went back into his home, Sirius calmly folded the registration papers into his jacket pocket and turned to Lily, offering her a helmet.

"Fancy a ride? You facilitated this whole thing, after all. First ride belongs to you, my dear!"

She put the helmet on and climbed on behind him. "Have you the slightest idea how to drive this?"

He nodded confidently. "I've done a lot of research. Manuals, old videos, anything I could find. Jamie even found me a Muggle game that was a simulator once. It only worked for a few days, but I did my level best. Do you trust me?"

Lily patted his shoulder affectionately. "Well, I know how to ride a bicycle. That's like this but without the motor, so ... won't Remus and James each be insulted not to have the first ride with you?"

Sirius nodded, grinning cheerfully. "Oh, yes. It has to be you - literally. We have to ride it at least to a point of entry for the Wizarding World. And James will be sooo jealous when we get to Potter Manor and you've got your arms all around me."

She laughed. "Poor James. He really has improved. I don't think he's asked me out in months."

"Do you miss it?"

"Not ... exactly. He was awfully annoying, but I do appreciate if he's changed because he's started listening to me."

"That's most of it. Poor old James has always listened to you. Every word you've said in a class, every time you insulted him and us, and every kind interaction he's witnessed with other people. My boy's always had a terrible mouth-to-brain connection problem, especially when he's blinded by wretched, angsty thirteen-year-old lurve."

She adjusted her helmet and said a prayer to whatever might be listening that they wouldn't come to harm on this experimental ride. "Was that all it was? Angsty 'lurve?;"

"You know better than that. James is gone on you. Still. He's just trying to be less of a prat about it. I promise the inside of his head is every bit as ridiculous for you as he ever was. Thinking about giving him a chance?"

Lily tightened her grip on Sirius' middle. "If I don't die today on this motorbeast of yours, I may ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me. What do you think?"

He turned around to face her, his gray eyes filled with more sincere emotion than she'd even thought he was capable of. "I think it's brilliant. You're brilliant, Jamie's brilliant, and together, your brilliance will outshine the damn sun. I also think I need to be extra careful not to land us in the hospital wing. It's a lot of pressure, taking your best mate's girl on a motorcycle ride when your best mate doesn't even know he's got a girl yet, right?"

Lily laughed. "What if instead of 'his girl,' he's my boy? How do you like that?"

Whatever Sirius said was lost in the sound of the motorcycle's engine revving to life. She was glad of the muffling effect of the helmet, and extra glad of the firm grip she had on his waist when the machine suddenly lurched forward. Both of them swore, and Lily had to stop herself from using her magic to ensure their safety.

A moment later, they were tentatively moving forward, only slightly jerkily. They did a slow circle of the block, and then another as Sirius became more familiar with the controls. Lily had to admit that he appeared to have done his homework. He knew the names of the parts and was making good headway on smoothing the transitions and increasing their speed. When they pulled into the Evans family's driveway and turned off the motorcycle, Sirius couldn't help giving a quiet (for him) whoop of joy.

Lily's mum met them in the driveway, smiling. "Well, look at the two of you! I could hear you coming - that thing is awfully loud. Come inside, get comfortable, both of you!" She looked at Sirius, then back to Lily, then to Sirius again. "I'm so glad that Lily's brought a friend home to meet the family. Sirius, is it?"

Sirius smiled politely. "Sirius Black. Thank you for inviting me to join your family for dinner, Mrs. Evans. It's so nice to meet you."

Again, Lily found she barely recognized the polite boy who stood beside her. "Let's go in. I'm so ready for your pot roast, Mum! I've missed it."

Sirius followed Lily into her parents' home, his stomach suddenly tight with anxiety. He had never been in a Muggle house before, and he didn't want to slip up and say something ignorant or upsetting. His internal monologue wasn't helping. Right. Don't fuck it up. I always manage to fuck things up, and this is no different. I'm a disgrace. Mother was right ...

He looked up, startled, when Lily touched his arm, directing him to the chair beside her. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were already seated, as well as a sour-faced girl he assumed was Petunia. She might have been pretty if she hadn't seemed so very determined to look at both him and Lily as though she smelled something foul. Something about her reminded him of his cousin Narcissa, and that was enough to kickstart the manners that had been ingrained into his subconscious since he was a small child. He pulled out Lily's chair, waited until she was seated, then sat down himself, his posture perfect.

The Evans parents seemed impressed, but Petunia sniffed and pointedly ignored them.

"It's good to meet you, Sirius. We're very glad that Lily is getting on well at school and making friends," Mr. Evans said, offering Sirius a smile. "I'll admit, Lily's er .... gifts ... are still a bit of a mystery to us, but we're glad she's thriving. Lily tells us you two are in the same house and have some classes together?"

"It's quite nice to meet your family as well, Mr. Evans. Yes, your daughter and I are both in Gryffindor House, and she's known to be one of the brightest students at the school. You should be very proud."

Mrs. Evans smiled, patting Lily's arm affectionately. "We're quite proud. Now, how did the two of you become friends? I'm very curious, as I've heard a few names over the years - Mary, Marlene, Severus, and Remus, mostly - but how did the two of you meet?"

Next to him, Lily was starting to blush. "Mum!"

Sirius took it in stride. Of course her family might think they were more than just friends. After all, Lily was every bit as gorgeous as he was. Any parents, with the exception of the bigoted, abusive set he had lucked into, would have thought they were a lovely, well-matched couple. He knew the Potters would have thought the same thing, and probably Remus and Pete's parents as well. He explained calmly, "Lily and I met as first years when we were eleven, but I'm afraid my best mate and I didn't make a very good first impression. It wasn't until this year that I - well, I had some problems, and your daughter may have actually saved my life. I was ... hurt, you see, and no one was around, but Lily was making her prefect rounds, found me, and got help. After that, she kept checking up on me to see that I was doing all right, and now we've become good friends."

Mrs. Evans addressed her daughter, "Why have I heard nothing of this heroic deed, darling? Surely if you saved a boy's life, the first person you'd tell is your mother!"

Lily was squirming uncomfortably, and her gaze kept darting to her sister. Petunia looked like she wanted to stab Sirius and Lily both with her fork, possibly in the eye. Lily was clearly desperate to get her parents' attention off of herself and onto her sister, but the Evans parents were too blinded by pride to see what was going on. It was a different dynamic from Regulus watching as Sirius took all of the blame and punishment for the both of them, but those experiences had made him very aware of sibling dynamics. He felt for Lily and even a little bit for Petunia, despite her sour expression and the mean things he knew she had said to her sister. He caught Lily's eye and gave her hand a quick squeeze under the table.

"I must say that it's lovely to meet you as well, Petunia. Lily speaks of you often," he said in his polite-est, most House of Black voice.

Petunia seemed startled to be addressed, and torn between being impressed by the possible status hinted at by his accent and manners and disgusted at the idea that he was one of them. For his part, Sirius honestly could not have cared less, but the relief on Lily's face was reward enough. He wondered idly why all families couldn't be like the Potters, who wouldn't have minded if James fell for a Muggle, a Muggleborn, or anyone at all, so long as it made him happy?

"Does she?" Petunia replied, somewhere between incredulous and resentful. "I rather thought that awful Snape boy was her only friend. Lily has always had a tendency to be rather exclusive with her few friends."

Sirius laughed. "There is where you and I have a bit of common ground, Petunia. I can't say I'm terribly sorry to see her friendship with ‘that awful Snape boy’ come to an end. Did you know that he's quite bigoted against those students born to Muggle families? I personally can't imagine why someone would choose to be a bigot about attributes one has no control over." He gave Petunia a pointed look. "Why, that would be like if your family decided to hate all wizards based on pure ignorance."

Under the table, Lily stepped on his foot, signaling that enough was enough. He knew he'd pushed a bit, taking a shot at both Snape and Petunia, but she didn't look mad.

"That's right, Tuney. I was telling Mary and Marlene about your engagement, and how happy I am for you. They asked me about your taste in dresses - they're very interested in Muggle fashion, you see, and I told them that it was all quite new and that I knew your favorite color was green, and that you favorite simple, classic lines. Was I close?"

Petunia glanced at her parents, whose attention was, for once, on her, and smiled, albeit a bit tightly. "Quite close, only Vernon's aunt does hate green, so I think I may consider pink or lavender."

The conversation continued, with Mrs. Evans and Lily enthusiastically asking about possible venues and other wedding-related isssues, and Sirius internally sighed with relief. The pot roast was delicious, and he was hungry, even after their hot dog snack earlier in the day. With the attention off of him, he was able to eat and allow himself to relax a little bit. There was a motorcycle outside, a Muggle motorcycle, and it was his. All he had to do was get through this dinner and he would be on his way to the Potter estate, where he could house and tinker with his prize. He couldn't wait to show the rest of the Marauders. He knew that James would be willing to help him and ride with him, but part of him hoped that Remus was at least a little bit impressed with it. James was going to be so happy he might actually explode when he found out that Lily was planning to ask him to Hogsmeade. He was looking forward to witnessing that reaction even more than he was looking forward to showing off his motorcycle. Well, maybe not quite as much, but it was definitely close.

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment 3: Part 3. A Lily and Sirius Sidequest.

After dinner, Lily had owled her mum about the neighbor’s motorcycle. Mrs. Evans, still proud to have a witch in the family and well accustomed, for a Muggle mum, to sending post via owl, did not respond until two days later. In the interim, it seemed that Sirius might actually implode into a little ball of nothing. James did his best to keep him distracted with mischief, while Remus distracted him via ... other means, but the jittery excitement was always there, just under the surface. When the owl came, Mrs. Evans had indicated that she had spoken to the neighbor, who was over the moon at the idea of someone buying the thing and had priced it quite reasonably. Mrs. Evans had also told Lily to bring her friend over for dinner if they were going to come for the motorcycle, a little fact that had James burning with jealousy.

They were to wait for the next Hogsmeade weekend, and have their Saturday in Muggle London. James, Peter, and Remus had made plans to welcome their friends back by readying the shed at Potter Manor that Fleamont and Euphemia had gladly given their permission for their nearly-adopted son to use for his newfound project. The issue of money also had to be resolved. Leaving home had left Sirius cut off from most of his funds, except for the inheritance he had received from his Uncle Alphard. Those funds were now under the guardianship of the Potters until Sirius was of age, his blood family not being able to touch that money. Fleamont came to Hogwarts to take Sirius out for an early dinner after his classes ended on Friday, took him to Gringotts, and helped to arrange and explain the Muggle exchange rate. Lily had assured them both that should Sirius forget how Muggle money worked, she would make sure things went smoothly.

By Saturday morning, when the Marauders met Lily in the Common Room, Sirius was in the best mood of his life, and Lily was starting to wonder what on earth she was supposed to do with a ridiculously happy Sirius for half a day on their own. The most time she’d ever spent alone with him, he’d been hurt and half out of it, then recovering and trying to catch up on his school work. After that, he’d leaped straight back into mischief and Quidditch with James. He’d remarked a little too casually from time to time that Lily was his hero and that she’d saved his life, but she had always shushed his praise and told him he would have done the same.

Muggle London had always fascinated Sirius, but he had never been allowed to experience it. The few times he had managed to steal away to a Muggle music shop or convenience store, he had either had to hurry so much he hadn't been able to appreciate much, or he had gotten caught and been punished for associating with Muggles. He found Lily to be an excellent and entertaining guide. She stopped at a fast food kiosk so he could try an "American style" hot dog, and get some practice counting Muggle money out. He had the hot dog gone in three bites and fortunately, the vendor was from Eastern Europe and didn't find it odd that a boy with an English accent couldn't count his change out without assistance. He probably just thought Sirius was from Australia or New Zealand or something.

Still working on her own hot dog, Lily sat on a public bench and offered to share her chips. Boys her age seemed to be oddly bottomless pits where food was concerned, she had noticed. James and Sirius in particular seemed to burn off so much energy with Quidditch and generally high levels of activity that they could eat twice what any normal human being ought to and never gain a pound. He hesitated, clearly wanting the chips, but trying to be a gentleman and not steal her food. She sighed.

"I got extra for you, Sirius. I thought you might like to try more Muggle foods. Of course, now we'll have to pretend to be hungry for dinner so we don't hurt my mum's feelings."

He accepted the chips and smiled sheepishly. "I won't have to pretend. I'll be hungry again in about an hour. Remus said I was clearly eating for two and asked if there's anything I need to share with him. He said if I'm pregnant with alien babies, he'll help me raise them to be good, upstanding citizens of this planet. Then we got into this weird conversation about whether alien babies raised by gay wizards, one of whom is a werewolf, would be accepted at Hogwarts, and what to do with our alien kids if they turned out squibs."

Lily snorted inelegantly with laughter, picturing Remus' serious expression as he declared his willingness to help raise his boyfriend's alien babies with integrity. "He's as ridiculous as you and James."

"Merlin, I love him," Sirius sighed.

Without the slightest hesitation, Lily grabbed him in a spontaneous hug and squeezed. It took him a moment, but he returned the hug, his hand hesitantly patting her back.

"Lily? Everything all right?"

She let go of him and smiled. "Sorry, I was overwhelmed by how horribly sweet you two are on each other and I just wanted to show you that I'd like us to be actual friends, not just mutual friends of Remus who sometimes talk."

He smiled, a genuine, slightly shy smile that was so different than his usual smirks and grins that Lily caught a glimpse of how Remus must have seen him to fall for him so hard.

"I think I'd like that. And, now that we're friends, I feel I must inform you that James Potter has an enormous crush on you. Like ... it's huge."

"Bigger than his ego?"

The retort was automatic, but there was no real anger behind it, not anymore. And he could tell, the absolute wanker. He knew.

"Look, I'm not going to harass you about it. I know your opinions of James are founded in the reality of his complete lack of social graces where you are concerned, but ... you used to hate all of us, then you got to know Remus and became friends with him. I - I'd like to think getting to know me a little made you change your mind about me a bit. I know watching you treat Remus so kindly made me change my mind about you."

Her jaw dropped. "Me? What did you used to think of me?"

His eyes widened as he realized what he had said, and he immediately began to backpedal. "I mean, I didn't know you, not really. All I knew was that you were always mad at James, who is basically my brother, and so when he was upset by something you did or said, it didn't make me have a good opinion of - oh, bollocks! I'm making it worse! What I meant is that you were always with Snape and sticking up for him, and - and - "

"And you hate him, so you hated me too? Were you only not bullying me like you did him because James thought I was pretty?"

"No! It's more complicated that that. Please believe me."

He looked worried. Really worried. However upsetting it was to find out that someone you used to dislike actually disliked you as well, it was a moot point. She didn't dislike him any longer. She wanted to be his friend, and that meant that she needed to listen and communicate and not scare him half to death. She took a deep breath.

"I'm not mad. We're still friends. I was just surprised, that's all. It hadn't occurred to me to think about how you lot saw me, you know?"

His sigh of relief was immediate and noisy.

"I didn't mean to be insulting, Lily. I just - "

She raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Friends talk to each other. It's fine if we don't agree on some things, okay? What was the issue with you and Snape? Why do you hate him so much?"

If she hadn't been so curious, she would have felt badly for even asking. Her question seemed to suck the joy of impending motorcycle right out of him.

"I suppose it was mostly Regulus, for me. And a little bit James. You know what my insane family is like. Regulus is my brother and I love him, but James is the brother who chose me, you know? He looked past my family's pureblood bullshit and gave a shit about me. So, when Snape and James got into it, I was Team James. Then, when Reg came to Hogwarts and got into Slytherin, Snape saw him as a way to get back at me. He started filling his head with - with reasons why I wasn't someone he should care about. Reg gave him access to a lot of pureblood society, and suddenly he was hanging out with Mulciber and Malfoy and they started teaming up to help my family make me miserable. And James saw it and fought back for me, and then it was this awful cycle. Every time there was an altercation, Snape would spin it a certain way to Reg, and then he'd ignore me or worse, tell our parents. They never let me explain anything, never cared what really happened, just that I'd embarrassed them again, and then they'd  - "

She shushed him softly, rubbing his arm gently to reassure him that she understood, and he didn't need to say it. "And there I was, defending a person who directly led to you being hurt. I'm sorry for that. I really didn't know. I just hated to give up on someone who used to mean so much to me. Severus has it in him to be kind and sweet, but his fascination with the Dark Arts always worried me, and now it's carried him away from me. I'm so scared I'm going to find out that he's taken the Dark Mark. I miss his friendship, how he used to be, but I'm so mad at him for calling me ... that word, and thinking I'd be happy to be his exception to policy for hating Muggleborns."

Sirius winced sympathetically. "I worry about Reg taking the Mark too. When I was a little kid, before Hogwarts? I didn't know that word was bad. James told me. It's just what my parents always called people whose parents are Muggles. I had no idea it wasn't okay until I saw James' face when I said it. He pulled me aside and asked if that's how my parents talked at home. He knew how some pureblood families are and gave me the benefit of the doubt AND explained things to Remus and Pete so they wouldn't think I was some snobbish git."

Lily felt that now-familiar stirring of curiosity about who James Potter was to his friends and family. The picture painted by Remus was of a loyal friend who kept and defended his secret, and Sirius described a friend who became a brother who looked after him when his own had abandoned him. Her own view of James Potter had been colored by a friendship that was no longer viable and informed by a source who was no longer a reliable narrator. Yes, he was annoying when he constantly praised her and asked her out, but was his bravado simply that? A facade he wore to hide the depth of feelings that made him feel vulnerable and awkward? And, he had actually stopped, now that she thought about it. It had been a good long while since he had asked her out. He had complimented a few times, but it had mostly been about her academic accomplishments or if she had done or said something nice for or about one of his friends. She had grown and changed since the day she found out she was a witch, to finding out that Remus was a werewolf, to the moment she had realized that she was unwilling to continue to ignore Severus' views, to the moment she had discovered that Sirius wasn't who she had thought. Maybe James had gone through a similar path? She had stopped excusing Severus' increasing darkness, and maybe James had stopped constantly asking her out for similar reasons?

Aloud, she mused, "That makes sense. How were you to know if you were never allowed to associate with anyone to tell you otherwise?"

"It's still a poor excuse. I don't know how anyone could see how good you are at everything magical and not understand that you're every bit as magical as me!"

She ruffled his hair, ignoring his halfhearted protests not to mess it up. "That is my favorite thing about you, New Friend."

Still patting his glossy black hair back into place, he said, "My hair? I know, me too. It's pretty much perfect,"

"Don't be a vain git. You know what I meant. I like that you're not prejudiced. That you respect me and people like me."

"Firstly, I am a vain git. Ask James, Remus, or Pete. Secondly, my capacity for talking about my feelings is just about maxed for the week, and thirdly, I've been on the wrong end of a Lily-hex and a healthy dose of respect and fear is more than appropriate. I don't care that your parents are Muggles, especially not when you can do things with Charms that even Remus can't figure out."

She rolled her eyes at him, but she was smiling. No wonder Remus liked him so much. He was entertaining to say the very least. "Sorry I taxed your capacity for talking about your feelings. I appreciate you listening to me. I need to tell you one more thing. I - I don't know if my mum told my sister about us coming for dinner. Petunia hates magic, always calls me a freak, and ... well, I just wanted you to be prepared if she's an utter bitch. It's not personal."

Sirius stood from the bench and collected their trash, offering Lily a hand. "Believe me when I tell you that I get the whole sibling thing. I promise not to purposely provoke Petunia," he said, popping each "P" with purpose.

She giggled. "Promise?"

"Positively. Now. Motorcycle? Please?"

She laughed. "Yes, motorcycle. Come along. We've got a bus to catch!"

"Hey, Lily?"

"Yes?"

"You know who else likes to talk about their feelings?"

"Am I going to regret asking who that might be?"

“James. It's James. There's a bloke you won't wear out with that subject. Of course, I think about 75 percent of his feelings in some way pertain to you, but ... there you go."

[lilydeerwrites]

ways james could have revealed his animagus secret to lily

surprised her mid conversation when he saw the perfect opportunity

transformed in the middle of the night while they slept 

[lilydeerwrites]

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

[lilydeerwrites]

Well, this is adorable!

Helllloooo!!!! I love finally having a master list for all of your work!! Thank you, you wonderful writer!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also, all your great dialogue is the best wolfstar comedic writing. Could you pretty please write one where one of the boys is on anesthesia? THANK YOU!

Thanks Anon, glad to know that people think I’m funny.

Anesthesia? Let’s give this a go!

•

•

•

“Hey,” Sirius slurred a bit. He had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed and this was the first word he had said to Remus since they got into the car to drive home.

It had been a silent fifteen minute drive. 

Remus carefully parked his car and  glanced over at Sirius. The passenger’s seat had been laid all the way back so that Sirius wouldn’t get too dizzy on the drive. He held ice packs to his swollen face and his gray eyes were out of focus as they peered up at Remus. 

“You’re stunning,” Sirius told him when he realized that he had Remus’ attention. 

Remus chuckled as he unbuckled Sirius’ seatbelt, “thank you, you’re not so bad yourself. Come on let’s get you inside so you can go to bed.” He got out of the car and got to the passenger’s side in time to catch Sirius as the other man attempted to roll out of his seat. 

“But, like,” Sirius leaned heavily on Remus as the front door was unlocked and he was ushered inside, “you’re really beautiful.”

Remus nodded, smile blooming on his face. “Please, do go on.”

“Wow, you’re smile is just so alluring,” Sirius wobbled as Remus led him to their bedroom. “You smell so lovely.”

Sirius sat heavily on the bed and then flopped down, boneless. The ice packs he had been holding were now forgotten on either side of him. “This bed is amazing.”

“Let’s get these trousers off,” Remus took off Sirius’ shoes and then began to unbutton Sirius’ jeans. “You’ll be more comfortable in just pants.”

“Wait, no,” Sirius uselessly swatted at him, "You’re gorgeous, but I’m not a cheater. I’m engaged!”

Remus snickered, “Sirius, I’m not trying to get you to cheat. If you fall asleep in trousers it won’t be comfy.”

“No handsome, no. Get my fiancé or get my James.” Sirius swatted again, attempting to sit up but failing.

“You’ve a boyfriend, you’re not engaged,” Remus shook his head, but his tone was laced with amusement.

“No means no.” Sirius was adamant, a stubborn look on his face

Remus sighed before he left the room. He re-entered a few moments later. “Come now, love, let’s get your trousers off.”

“Oh Remus,” Sirius gave him a bright smile, “moon of my sky. Did you run into that good-looking bloke?” He shifted his hips to allow Remus the room to peel off his jeans. “He doesn’t hold a candle on you love, you’re exquisite.”

“Mm,” Remus nodded as he folded Sirius’ jeans and placed them neatly on top of their shared dresser. “Let’s get you under the covers. Would you like me to turn on the telly?”

“Mm,” Sirius responded, but his eyes were already drooping. “I love you. You don’t know how much.”

Remus smiled to himself, turning the TV onto cartoons before kissing Sirius’ temple and leaving their shared room. Sirius would be starving when he woke up, Remus would have soup, water, and pain pills ready. He sincerely hoped that Sirius would remember their interaction, but it was doubtful.

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment: 3, part 2

After classes were over for the day, Remus found James and Sirius still poring over Muggle motorcycle magazines in the Common Room. Peter had joined them. His head was buzzing with the information he had just learned from Lily, and a strong part of him wanted to tell James that Lily was interested, but the part that had promised his friend he wouldn’t say anything was stronger.

“Hey, mates,” he said, throwing himself onto the sofa, his head resting on Sirius’ lap.

Nothing, no reply.

James gave an excited cry and said, “Okay, Pads, this is significant! Instead of using spells on the item as a whole, we cast a network of interrelated charms on the specific parts required to make it run. Kind of like the map, only with different types of charms!”

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. “I know a couple of motion charms, like in wizarding watches and things ... this is a real possibility!”

Remus tried again. “Hello, my friends. I am also here,” he tried, sarcastically.

When the other boys still did not reply, he stuck his cold hand under his boyfriend’s shirt, directly on the bare skin of his stomach. Sirius yelped.

“Why would you do that to me?”

His gray eyes held an injured expression and Remus almost felt guilty. Almost.

“Sorry. I literally threw myself at you but you didn’t pay attention. You’re not the only one who can be a bit dramatic from time to time.”

Sirius laughed. “Why are your hands like ice?”

“Because Lily and I tried to take a little flight on a school broom for research, and it’s godawful cold up there. Out there. In the wind.”

At the word, “Lily,” James was suddenly all ears. “You took Lily up on a broom? You? On a broom? With Lily?”

“Well, the broom went up, and we were both on it ... that’s about as much as I had to do with anything. The damn thing took us for a bit of a wild ride before we managed to land. Lily’s notes blew into the lake, and I don’t think I can feel any of my extremities.” Remus chuckled ruefully.

James asked, “Was she upset? Should I ... fight the squid for her papers? Does she need them badly?”

Sirius pulled the jumper Remus had given him over his head and wrapped his boyfriend in it, giving him a warming squeeze. “Merlin, we wear gloves and gear when we fly for Quidditch! Here, stick your hands under my shirt again. I can take it!”

Peter shook his head and shot a warming charm at Remus. “We have magic. No need for Padfoot to suffer from your icy grip. If you want to get inside his clothes, you can do it the usual way?”

“Thanks, mate,” Remus replied, relieved at the sudden warmth. “Lily and I are apparently pants at flying, but we need to do some research, I have a favor to ask.”

James seemed to be anticipating what he was going to say, and the stupidly happy expression on his face was enough to make Remus hope that this didn’t backfire in any way.

“Prongs and Padfoot - your Quidditch skills are needed. Could you, in the name of research, assist myself and Miss Evans by giving us broomstick rides and possibly being interviewed? We want to talk to strong flyers,” he asked.

Sirius took in James’ dopey, lovesick expression and asked, “So ... I get Evans, right? Jamie can take you up, right Moony?”

James gave Sirius a look, and then ruffled his hair affectionately. “Always got to take the piss, don’t you Padfoot, old boy?”

Wrinkling his nose in mock-disdain, Sirius fired back, “I don’t know why you always think I would be interested in your piss, Prongsy.”

At that moment, the door opened to admit a bedraggled, chilled-looking Lily Evans. Her hands were nearly blue with cold and her teeth were chattering. Remus sat up quickly.

“Lily! You look even more frozen than me!” He unwrapped himself from his old jumper and made room for her on the sofa, making sure to seat her next to James, and put the jumper around her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she said, snuggling into the warmth of the rust-colored jumper. “No wonder Sirius likes this thing so much. It’s so soft and warm!”

Taking a cue from Peter, James shot a warming charm to her feet and fingers. “Better?”

She nodded. “Thanks for that. Remus and I are not cut out for the sky.”

“About that,” Remus gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. “We’ve got us some volunteers for the interviews and to take us up properly. Sirius and James are willing to help.”

This time last year, Lily would have refused. This time last year, she would not have been sitting on a sofa next to James Potter, thanking him for a warming charm. But, this was a new year and things were different now. She told herself that it was the most practical solution. Of course two of the best Quidditch players at Hogwarts would be excellent additions to the magical flight section of their Explorer’s Journal. It made logical sense. And, it made logical sense that Remus would ride with his boyfriend and she would ride with James, whose face didn’t annoy her the way it used to. She resisted the urge to run a hand through his messy hair and smiled.

“That would be lovely. Thank you both. Sirius - I have some information you might find interesting.”

The dark-haired boy sat up straight and faced her. His rigid posture was a reflex of his upbringing. Probably some kind of ingrained nonsense about sitting up to properly address a lady or some shite. Last year, this might have bothered her as well, but she knew so much more about him after assisting in rescuing him that she only smiled and continued.

“I hadn’t known you were so interested in Muggle motorcycles. My parents’ next door neighbor has one for sale. It doesn’t work well and it’s terribly loud, but I bet he’d let it go for a reasonable price. He’s been trying to sell it for almost a year. You could use it for your project and then figure out whatever else you want to do to it later - Sirius! What are you - “

Only moments before he had been sitting up straight, looking as though he expected her to lecture him, and now, she was somehow standing up, being danced across the floor of the Common Room. She giggled. He was a pretty good dancer, even when he was only doing it to be ridiculous.

“Lily Evans ... are you serious? Do you think it’s still available? Can we get it today? How do I do the - the exchange rate for Muggle money? You can go with me, right? I mean, I don’t want to fuck it all up -”

She couldn’t believe it even as the words were coming out of her mouth, but there it was, “Of course I’m not Sirius. That’s you, silly. But yes, I’m nearly certain it’s still there. I can owl my Mum about it after dinner if you like.”

James shook his head. “He won’t be of any use until we’ve got an answer. I think you may have broken him. Just look at him.”

Sirius was doing a sort of erratic little jogging-in-place thing, a ridiculous grin still in place.

James gave his arm a gentle pull and brought him back down to the sofa, finding himself face to face with a Sirius who was practically vibrating with excitement.

“James, it’s happening! I’m getting one! A Muggle motorcycle! And we are  going to make it fly!”

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment: 3

This little tale will have at least a couple of installments. I hope you enjoy reading it!

Lily and Remus had finished their work and sat, quietly talking, waiting for the professor to begin making his rounds to each group. Today’s  class session had been about the history of Muggle transportation, beginning with horses and ending with jet engines. They were going to choose a method of transport and present on it to the class. Lily and Remus had chosen to do a comparison between Muggle airplanes and Wizarding flying means. Neither of them had ever flown in an airplane and neither of them particularly enjoyed broom flight, so they figured that choosing this as their topic would provide both of them with some much needed education.

“Too bad we don’t know anyone who could take us up in an airplane,” Lily remarked. “It would be interesting to do our presentation with physical evidence. Like, an explorer’s journal or something.”

At “explorer’s journal,” Remus’ face lit up. “I may have some ideas for that. And James and Sirius would enjoy giving us broom rides probably way too much.”

He glanced over at the table where the aforementioned friends sat, and did a double take when he saw their heads bend studiously over a pile of rather dated Muggle magazines. Every now and then, one of them would point at something and the other would nod.

Lily followed his gaze and frowned. “What are they doing?”

“Studying? I think? It’s been a while since I’ve seen them do it, so I may not be familiar with all of the signs,” he said with a grin. “Can you tell what they’re looking at?”

Lily shook her head. “No. Sirius’ great bloody head is in the way. Is he trying to absorb it through his face?”

At the other table, James put a hand to Sirius’ forehead and pushed him gently back. The two boys had a bit of a laugh and then pulled out another magazine. Remus caught the idea from the front page.

“Motorcycles. They’re staring at motorcycles. Sirius has a weird thing for Muggle motorcycles. He’s obsessed with obtaining one and making it fly. I think so he can do a pass around his parents’ house and flip them the bird from atop a Muggle artifact for extra insult.”

At this, Lily giggled. “My parents’ next door neighbor has one he’s been trying to be rid of for months. It’s barely functional and makes an awful racket. I bet Sirius would love it.”

Remus laughed. “I so wanted you to say, ‘It’s barely functional and makes an awful racket. It reminds me of Sirius, actually.’“

They watched as James started gesturing excitedly, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. Whatever it was got Sirius excited as well, and they were both whispering, gesturing, and pointing triumphantly.

“I wanted to say it too, but he’s been behaving so well lately, and he’s rather had enough of a hard time recently ... just didn’t want to kick your boy while he’s down, you know?”

Remus knew. Things were getting more dire each day with the reports of Voldemort and his followers’ activities. Sirius’ family was on the wrong side of the coming war, and not only that, had treated their former heir so badly that he had escaped to live with James. Watching him laugh and get excited about a stupid Muggle motorcycle was actually very refreshing.

Remus watched them fondly. “They act like fools so often it’s easy to forget they’re both bloody brilliant, really. Sirius just knows things when he’s read them once or practiced them, and James catches on so quickly. They hardly need to study most things.”

Lily raised her eyebrows shrewdly. “The same could be said for you, you know.”

Blushing at her praise, Remus couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks. You too. I think the difference is that me and you like the academic journey of a thing. The experimentation, the wrongs all leading to a right, and that moment when you figured something out and know you could show someone else how to do it?”

She nodded. “Wanna be faculty at Hogwarts with me when we’ve been out of school for a bit? I’d love to sit in that secret faculty lounge they think none of us know about and talk shite about our students with you, when we’re old and gray, you know? We could be like the new Dumbledore and McGonagall.”

Remus grinned. “I want Defense. What will you have? Potions? Slughorn looooves you, his Muggleborn wonderchild.”

Lily shrugged. “Potions or Charms. I’m good at both.”

“And so modest, too,” Remus added.

“Piss on modesty. I’m representing the Muggleborn and I’m rather killing it, aren’t I?” She flipped her long, red hair over her shoulder dramatically, causing Remus to sputter with laughter, which drew the attention of their professor.

“Well, it seems that it might be time to begin. Miss Evans and Mr. Lupin? Would you like to share your idea for the presentation with the class? You must be finished if you’ve the time to have a laugh.”

A brief glance at James and Sirius revealed their startled expressions at Lily and Remus being called out in class.

Ignoring the reprimand, Lily began explaining their plan, and Remus finished up.

“Of course, our plan may change up a bit if we find ourselves with an opportunity to actually experience both types of flight. We’re remaining flexible on our execution until some of those details can be worked out,” he stated calmly.

The professor nodded, his reservations about their preparedness clearly banished. “Excellent! I am looking forward to your presentation very much. Explorer’s Journal, indeed! So creative, Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin! Well, next, I suppose we should like to hear from Mr. Potter and Mr. Black.”

James began by holding up a magazine with a Muggle motorcycle on the cover. “We’re doing ours on motorcycles, and our final presentation will, with any luck, involve bringing one here, to class, and giving a demonstration of how they work, which parts do what, and all of that.”

Sirius chimed in, “We want to talk about why some Muggles choose to use them over cars and the history of how they have been viewed. For example, they used to be seen mainly as a military vehicle, but now have a certain sort of rebel appeal. We’re going to model some traditional Muggle motorcycle-riding gear as well.”

Remus felt his face get a bit hot at that. Sirius’ leather jacket was already one of his favorite pieces of clothing his boyfriend owned. He wasn’t sure he could take more with his dignity intact. He glanced at Lily, who was watching James with an odd expression on her face.

“What’s the matter, Lils?” he whispered. “Imagining James in tight pants and leather?” He was joking, but there was a look on Lily’s face that stopped him from continuing.

She blushed, and reached across the table to grip Remus’ hand and squeezed it. “Dammit. Bugger. Shite.” She whispered vehemently.

“What’s wrong? Lily?”

She shook her head disbelievingly. “Remus, I think I fancy James. James Potter! What am I to do?”

[lilydeerwrites]

ah yes my fav AU where everyone is alive and sirius spoils harry 

[lilydeerwrites]

Remus Lupin: I heard some idiot tried to fight the Giant Squid today by the Black Lake.

Sirius Black, soaking wet and covered in ink: Well, maybe the giant squid was being a prick.

[lilydeerwrites]

Sirius Black: I have really high standards, I don-

Remus Lupin: [walks in, trips, and falls]

Sirius Black: I want him.

[lilydeerwrites]

When one of your favorite authors likes something you wrote!! <3

I love your Marauder Ink story. And also your others. Basically, love your writing. Thanks for doing it. :-D You literally inspired me to create my writing blog here. I have two shorts up already and a longer piece in the works. The shorts and the longer piece all fit together.

Ahhhh, I’m so excited for you to be writing! I just checked out your Muggle Studies fics and oh my days I love them! Sirius and James with the head-torches had me in stitches!! I’m so glad you love Marauder Ink (and the others) and that they inspired you - that’s so so nice of you! And your work is awesome. Keep writing, darling!!

[lilydeerwrites]

This should have been how Pettigrew was caught.

Ron: Scabbers! No! We’ll grease you out, mate!

Harry: That’s not Scabbers, you git! That’s the traitor who killed my parents!

Padfoot (in pupper form): Grrrrr!

Lupin: Don’t bite his head off yet, Pads! We’ve got to present him as evidence!

Harry: So ... we should grease him, then?

Padfoot: *Growls and snaps just close enough to terrify*

Lupin: Padfoot, knock it off! If he gets scared and transforms here, he’ll be cut in half.

Pettigrew: *squeaks in terror*

Padfoot: *sits like a very good boy, never takes eyes off of rat*

Hermione: Well, we can’t just stay here and wait for him to starve his way out.

Pettigrew: *squeaks again*

Padfoot: *turns back to human form* Remus, is it only weird to me that this isn’t the first time we’ve had to grease old Wormy out of a tight spot? Remember when he stuck his hand in that spelled canister of gold?

Lupin: Closed up on him like a bear trap.

Sirius: *rubs hands together* Who’s ready to grease a rat?

Lupin: *pulls scented lotion from his pocket*

*Everyone stares as a Hogwarts professor and an escaped convict apply liliac-scented lotion to their hands and approach the trapped rat menacingly*

Harry: Everything about this is so weird ...

Hermione: I’ve got an enchanted pouch ready for him! *somehow has a bag out of nowhere*

Ron: You think it’s weird? That rat saw me change clothes with regularity! And bloody slept in my room!

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment: 2

The Gryffindor Common Room was buzzing with quiet activity as groups of students chatted softly over notes and books. It was that time of the year when exams were imminent. Lily and Remus were surrounded by books and papers. A floating teapot steamed as both students absently sipped tea. Remus had charmed it to stay warm and refill their cups as needed. Lily filed that knowledge away for later experimentation. They had started out on a sofa, but their notes and books began to spread out to the point that it became necessary to move down to the floor. Now, Peter was sprawled out behind them, occasionally asking for help with his Charms work.

The arrival of James and Sirius was heralded by the sound of running feet and laughter. When they entered the Common Room, several pairs of eyes gazed at them reproachfully.

“Oi, Padfoot ... why is it so quiet in here?” James whispered urgently.

Sirius shrugged. “Exams, I guess?”

“Exams?” James glanced at Remus, Lily, and Peter. “Exams. Yeah. I suppose I should probably ... do that.”

Sirius let himself flop inelegantly to the ground beside Remus, causing some of his notes to flutter. His teacup rattled indignantly.

Just when he was about to be annoyed, Sirius burrowed close, hugging his knee so awkwardly he had to chuckle instead. He gave the shaggy hair a gentle pat.

James looked as though he would very much like to do the same to Lily, but fortunately for him, thought better of it and sat beside Peter on the couch.

“Shove over a bit, would you, Pete? I suppose I should do a bit of review. Accio my Charms book!”

James’ book came hurtling down from the dorm in a manner very similar to its owner.

“What were you two off doing anyway?” Peter asked

James shrugged. “A bit of research. For Muggle Studies,” he said, a little too nonchalantly.

Lily cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “What sort of horrible Muggle-Magical hybrid did you two unleash? I haven’t forgotten when you charmed the outdated, terribly stereotypical Muggle outfits to have a walkabout.”

Sirius rolled onto his back, his proud smile at the memory so genuine it actually made Lily want to give him a pat on the head as well. Remus might be the werewolf, but sometimes, she thought privately, his boyfriend was positively canine.

“Those clothes were so stodgy. Like all of the Muggles are going about dressed like that! I know Muggle fashion and all I had to do was pay a bit of attention,” he said.

Lily nodded her agreement. Sirius could make a band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and a blazer look like he should be on a runway. Not that she would tell him that. His head was already big enough. He looked adoringly up at Remus, who blushed and let his arm rest across the other boy’s chest.

Instead, she said, “You do know that most Muggles don’t go about dressed like David Bowie and Freddie Mercury, right?”

Still grinning at the memory of stodgy old Muggle clothes having a stroll and then a waltz around the classroom, Sirius replied, “Only the cool ones.”

“Pads, your arse is on my Charms book. That can’t be comfortable,” Remus raised an eyebrow, then rolled his eyes. “Unless of course you’re actively trying to get me to reach for it. Attention hog.”

Sirius, who was once again wearing Remus’ oversized rust-colored jumper sighed happily. “I love how well you know me.”

Ever since Remus had given him the sweater when he had been hurt, Sirius found reason after reason to wear it. Remus had complained that when he wore the jumper it made him look shabby, but somehow made Sirius look artfully disheveled.

Her attention drifted to James, whose eyes flickered studiously across the pages of his Charms book. He hadn’t asked her out once since the incident around the holidays, and she was annoyed that this bothered her. Maybe he was embarrassed that she had seen him so upset? Sirius had been much worse off, and he didn’t seem awkward about it. If anything, he had started spending more time with her, gotten to know her, told her she was pretty, and thanked her a few dozen times for aiding in his rescue. Remus explained later that Sirius liked positive attention so much himself that he could go a bit overboard when he was trying to make someone feel good about themselves. She hadn’t minded.

She sighed, shut the book, and stretched her arms. “I need a moment. My brains are turning to mush.” She leaned back against the sofa, eyes closed, and felt the back of her head brush James’ knee. He tensed, but didn’t pull away.

Hmmm. Interesting. She decided to file the information away. Maybe he was over her? Embarrassed? Under orders from his friends to behave like a human being? If she asked the other Marauders, they would certainly tell James that she had asked, but maybe that wouldn’t be so bad?

She felt a wad of paper hit her face, then another. She opened her eyes to see the papery bird-creature Marlene had accidentally transfigured Lily’s essay into earlier in the year. The awful thing had been flapping about the Common Room ever since, letting out its mysteriously-appearing paper droppings at will. She had long since rewritten and turned in the essay, but the fact that she had not been able to stop the essay-bird was infuriating.

Peter had seen what happened, and he chortled gleefully. “That thing’s just had a dump on your forehead, Evans! I thought you and Marlene stopped it weeks ago.”

Lily sat up, glaring at the flappy, papery thing. “We put it in a bin, but it escaped. Marls dumped water on it yesterday, but it’s made a full recovery since. She swears she doesn’t know what went wrong to make it this way.”

Stirring his tea thoughtfully, Remus asked, “In some cultures, it’s good luck for a bird to have a poo on you.”

Lily raised an eyebrow at him and he hastily changed his direction. ”Have you asked McGonagall? I’d imagine she could stop the little pest.”

James laughed. “Can you imagine if she went after it in cat form? I’d pay to see that!”

Sirius was looking way too thoughtful, as though he was trying to engineer exactly how to have that happen. She envisioned his brain looking like a Rube Goldberg design on the inside. “Minnie could do it, that’s for sure.”

“The point is that it was my essay and I want to figure it out,” she said firmly. “It’s not hurting anyone. It’s just occasionally annoying. Rather like you lot, these days,” she said, her tone more affectionate than critical.

She stretched again, then pulled her book back into her lap. “What were you two up to earlier? What type of research were you doing?”

James turned a bit pink. “Nothing important. Not a prank, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said.

“Sirius?” Lily asked. “Anything you wish to tell me?”

He turned as pink as James. “Ah, well, you see ...”

James crossed his arms, scowling.  “Traitor.”

“Look at her eyes, James! She’s giving me those sad baby animal eyes. You know I’m powerless here,” Sirius rationalized.

James glanced up at Lily and nodded. “Fine, then.”

“So ... James and I, we got rather ... interested in that episode of Muggle tell-o-vision we watched in class.”

She frowned. “The one with the doctors? The medical soap opera?”

“That’s the one. You see, I like a good story, and so does old Prongsy. When we were first years, Moony used to read out loud sometimes, just in the dorm, you know? Hard to sleep sometimes when you’re little and off alone the first time, right?”

Peter snorted. “First years? Moony still reads him to sleep sometimes - “

“Anyway, the point is that me and James, we got really sort of invested in knowing whether or not the surgery was successful.”

“What?” Lily watched them both, confused.

“Like, did Mr. Morris die? Did he live? How did his wife take it? Did he ever find out his son wasn’t really his? Did his brother find out? You can’t just show a bloke one chapter and not ever let him see the rest of the book!”

Sirius sounded so indignant she was torn between wanting to laugh out loud and hug him.

James took over. “I hate unresolved story lines. So, we sneaked into the lab to see if the Prof had more of it on the - the tape, was it? Are they tapes? Because I thought tapes were the new records?”

Looking thoroughly scandalized, Sirius protested, “Nothing will ever replace vinyl, Prongs. It’s not right.”

She laughed and caught Remus’ eye. His smile lit up his face, she suspected as much by the admission of story time as by their insatiable desire to find out how the unfortunate Mr. Morris had fared.

Trust serialized Muggle television drama to ensnare the minds of the most ridiculously curious members of Gryffindor House.

“Did you find it?” She asked.

They exchanged glances. “No ... but we did knock over the entire tell-o-vision catalog. We tried to put it right, but Filch was on the move, and we had to bolt,” Sirius explained.

“The films - those are the round ones, right? They were rolling about, and we had to go out the window and climb up to avoid being caught,” James finished.

Surprising even herself, Lily laughed out loud at their tale. The Muggle artifacts in the lab were just that - artifacts. Most of them were so old they were from her parents’ time rather than the current decade.

“First of all, it’s absolutely adorable that you’re so interested. Especially since shows like that are mostly watched by Muggle housewives with awfully boring lives. Secondly, my mum and my sister watch that soap opera, I believe. I can inquire over the summer and send you an owl, if you like.”

The hopefulness in their eyes was so ridiculous that Peter and Remus burst into guffaws as well.

Helplessly, Remus managed, “We’ve always said James was a bit mumsy. When his Quidditch kids get hurt, when one of us needs him - aww, don’t blush, Prongs. It’s actually very sweet. I mean it.”

James shook his head, joining in the laughter. “An owl would be great, Lily. We’ll both be at my place this year, so ... two birds one stone? Er ... okay, bad taste there, Potter. No killing, then.”

Lily smiled as sweetly as she could. “There’s only one bird on my kill list, and it’s the one that was formerly my essay.” She gestured with two fingers from her eyes and pointed at the roosting paper bird. “I’ve got my eyes on you!”

Sirius squinted at it from his position on the floor. “What if - no, it couldn’t ...”

“What?” She asked. “What if what?”

Hesitantly, he continued. “What if ... when it, well ... shits, it’s actually editing your essay? Have you unwrapped any of the droppings?”

She made a face. “No, I have not unwrapped the droppings. Ugh!”

James stood, bowed before her, and went to pick up some of the little balls of paper. He gave a small cry of disgust. “Why is it ... moist? Padfoot, help!”

“Can’t. ‘m comfortable. If I get up, I’ll die.”

“Drama, much?” Remus asked, dryly.

“Drama always,” Sirius sighed happily, hugging Remus’ knee even tighter.

James pushed on, peeling back the mushy paper bits, making a face the whole time.

With a monumental effort and a long sigh, Sirius pushed himself upright. “It doesn’t eat, mate. It can’t be that bad. You’ve spat parchment loogies twice that size and somehow didn’t get poisoned,” he said, taking a little paper ball into his hand as well. “Christ, it’s mushy! That’s quite distasteful.”

At that point, Peter joined in, picking an old one off of the end table next to the sofa. “You’re right, Pads. It’s ... damp.”

Remus sighed heavily. “As I’m out of synonyms for the word wet, I suppose this is up to me.”

He pulled out his wand, levitated the paper ball, and then cast a drying charm on it. “Remember? We’re magical?” He asked, sarcastically.

Remus unwrapped the now-dry ball of paper and read aloud, “Remove third paragraph, take the fourth sentence and use it as a thesis statement. Rework.”

“Well!” Lily fumed.

Sirius did the same and read his, “Must pare down. Far too long-winded.”

Peter read, “Too wordy. Please summarize Paragraph twenty.”

“Really!” She growled.

James looked at his, looked back up at Lily, and thought better of it, stuffing the paper ball into his pocket. “Um ... Lily? Were you and Marls partnered on this essay, by chance?”

“Yes, why?” She asked, expectantly.

She was finding herself most distracted by the way he rubbed at his arm when he was nervous. When had she noticed that he did that?

“Because,” he said, a little reluctantly. “I think she may have pranked you but good. There is no way this is accidental magic or a mistake. It’s bloody brilliant!”

“If Marlene did this, we’re missing out on a potentially amazing pranking resource! Where is she, anyway? Haven’t seen her all day.” Sirius stood on a chair, trying to gently scoop the paper bird into his hand. It flapped indignantly to a higher perch.

Moments later, all four Marauders were after the bird, shouting, laughing, and levitating furniture and one another. Remus tried an Accio on it, but it didn’t work.

James let out a low whistle. “Merlin, she’s good! What did you do to piss her off, anyway?”

Lily thought, but couldn’t come up with anything. She winced at the sight of Sirius, being levitated by Peter toward the overhead lamps.

“Steady on, Pete! Don’t drop me, mate!” He called as he reached for the essay-bird. His hands were about to close around it, when the door opened to admit Minerva McGonagall.

“It’s a bit noisier than usual in here. Is anything wr - “ She stopped, taking in the sight of Sirius mid-air, James on a chair, and Remus on the floor, still guarding their notes and books, and his floating teapot. “Mr. Black! You come right down here this moment! Mr. Pettigrew, put him down. Gently!” Admonished the Gryffindor Head of House.

When Sirius was safely on the floor, she asked calmly, “Could someone explain the wild rumpus I could hear through the wall in my study?”

Sirius grinned at her. “I knew you cared, Minnie.”

McGonagall ignored him, but there was no fire in her glare.

Lily and James started at the same time, “Well, Professor,” “You see, Professor, I - “

The essay-bird took its opportunity to swoop free of Sirius’ grasp, and dump a wet little paper ball on McGonagall’s head. Without a single moment of hesitation, she transformed into a cat, leapt into the air, and caught it in her teeth, giving it a little shake for good measure.

All of the students stared, but the Marauders and Lily were momentarily speechless. Professor McGonagall transformed quickly back into herself, removed the paper bird from her mouth quite daintily, and tucked it into the pocket of her robe.

“Was that the trouble, then?” She asked.

“Yes, Professor McGonagall,” Lily answered. “It - it used to be my old Charms essay. I had to rewrite, after, well ...” She gestured to the pocket area of the professor’s robe.

“An excellent essay you turned in, Miss Evans. It will be curious to have a look at the old one, if I can get it to unspell itself without destroying it.” She glanced around the room to where James and Sirius were still a bit star-struck from her heroic feline actions. “If everything is well, I shall return to my grading?”

Satisfied that her students were safe and much quieter, she left.

“Merlin,” James breathed. “That was brilliant!”

“It was like a prophecy. I wished for it, and it happened! Did someone slip me a luck potion or what?” Sirius exclaimed. “She just ... transformed ... already in the air and took it down, like a little tabby tiger for the kill!”

It took a few minutes for the excitement to die down, but as Lily returned to studying and drinking tea with Remus, she cast another surreptitious glance at James. Huh. Not hideous, a bit mumsy, and loves a good story. Who knew?

[lilydeerwrites]

Lily: Your animagus is a stag? That’s so… noble.

Sirius: He sure was real noble getting drunk, running around the Forbidden Forest, getting caught in a tree branch from his antlers, not being sober enough to transform back to human for two hours.

James: Says the man who’s had three flea baths!

[lilydeerwrites]

A Muggle Studies Moment :1

Lily and Remus glanced at each other in alarm. Neither of them had expected to find James and Sirius in their Muggle Studies class. Lily had decided to take the course to better understand the Wizarding World’s view of Muggle society, and Remus, whose mother was a Muggle, had taken it to strengthen his ties to her roots, while also helping him to prepare for the very real possibility of having to work in the Muggle world after graduation due to his lycanthropy.

The first “lab” as the professor called it, involved random Muggle objects. The students were to guess at their function. Remus and Lily were partnered for the lab due to their familiarity with Muggle objects. The labs would work a bit differently for them, and the pair of Muggleborns on the other side of the room. Instead of guessing at functions, they would instead come up with the various spells and charms the objects replaced.

“It has to be for some sort of religious practice. I think it’s ceremonial in nature,” James was saying, placing it on his head experimentally.

Sirius shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I think you do something to activate it and it has to do with medical stuff.”

“Why don’t you push the button and find out?” James challenged.

“You’re so eager, YOU push it!”

“What if it blows us up?”

“Merlin, Prongs! They’re not going to let us get blown up in the first lab! Parents would complain.” He shrugged. “Well, yours would. Mine might throw a party.”

Lily sighed, watching them with Remus. “They’re your mates, Remus. Those are the people you spend all of your free time with. Look! He’s got it round his neck!” She giggled at the sight of Sirius with a spelunking headlamp around his neck like a gaudy piece of jewelry.

“I’m pressing the button, Prongs! It’s happening!”

James slapped Sirius’ hand away from the button. “Do not press it, Sirius! I’m serious!”

Remus shook his head. “He’s going to - “

“No, I’m Sirius,”

“... say it.” Remus finished lamely.

Lily was clearly struggling to hold back a smile, and Remus didn’t even bother. They were idiots, but they were his idiots, and having them in the class was certainly going to make things a lot more interesting.

“After all of these years, that joke should not be funny. It never should have been funny,” he said, chuckling. “And yet, I laugh every single time. It’s like I have no control of myself where Sirius is concerned.”

Lily’s green eyes widened. “Oh, really? Do tell.”

He blushed, then followed her gaze straight to James. “Potter’s looking fit today, what do you think?”

She blushed. “What are you, his wingman? I mean, he’s clearly not hideous, but ...”

Remus laughed triumphantly. “If he heard that you said he wasn’t hideous, his head wouldn’t fit in our dorm. I’m keeping that one to myself.”

At the next table over, James had wrested the headlamp away from Sirius, and had positioned it around his own neck. He pushed the button, and the light came on, bright, and right in his face.

“See? Not blown up. Illuminated. Like a religious icon. Or a Quidditch star. My name and my face, up in lights!” James crowed.

Sirius tugged at it. “Come on, Prongs! My turn!”

He put the headlamp around his own neck and pushed the button, causing him to light up like James had, and called out, “Moony! Hey, have a look at this! Am I majestic?”

Remus laughed, shaking his head. “Majestically incorrect? Yes. Try again, you dolts. Think about not having magic. How would this object help in a situation in which you do not have magic?”

Sirius took the lamp off, studying it in his hands. He looked around at the others students, one group of which was wearing the headlamp properly. He placed it around his head, then dropped to the floor, crawling under the table. James dropped down with him. The lamp illuminated the underside of the old table and just how many past students had stuck disgusting things to the underside of it and carved inappropriate things.

When they emerged, James was wearing the lamp, and Sirius’ hair was standing on end nearly as much as James’. They immediately began scrawling notes, and Sirius waved his thanks to Remus.

Remus and Lily heard James say, “I think it stands to reason that we have to figure out who JR was and why KA felt the need to describe his personal bits in such lurid detail ...”

“It’s hard to carve that much into a table from underneath! I know! KA wrote a book under there!” Sirius replied.

“Fancy another look, mate?”

“‘You know it!”

Lily and Remus exchanged amused looks again, and she pressed her lips into a line of annoyance.

“What’s the matter? Why the face?” Remus asked.

She sighed. “Now I want to read what’s under that table too, and I know as soon as they leave the room, I’m going to be under there reading a decades-old account of some indecent act. Stupid James Potter!”

[lilydeerwrites]

I REALLY love wizards getting Muggle things wrong. I’m working on a fic where they’re taking a Muggle Studies class and James and Sirius are overly enthusiastic and clueless while Lily and Remus laugh at them.

[at a Muggle fair]

James: How much for the horse tornado?

Lily: James…That’s a carousel.

James: I must have it.