#i still have to wake up tomorrow
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When do the waves stop hitting so hard? Tomorrow he gets brought home by a big police escort. The streets will be lined with people who knew him. The service is on Friday. I still don't understand how this is happening. I keep getting messages from people who worked with him, telling me what an honor it was to serve with him, which is making me angry. He was going to work. If they hadn't called him down south because they were scared of prisoner behavior during the eclipse, I would still have my brother. If he wasn't so hell bent on being a good officer, he would still be here. I don't care how honorable he was at his job, he was MY brother, that's what he really loved. Us, his family. And as far as I'm concerned IDOC took my brother from me. I want him back. I want this hell to be over. I'm angry at everything. People keep asking me if I need anything but what I need is my Andrew back. I just want my Andrew back.
#it's ok if no one reads this#it's rant here or just scream and scream#but ive done so much of that that my throat hurts#and my face hurts from crying#honestly everything hurts#all i want to do is scream and yell#like maybe if i just scream loud enough#the universe will give him back#but it won't#and now i have to try and keep breathing#even though it feels like im breathing in glass#and im going to break in half#i still have to wake up tomorrow#and do it all again#how the fuck did this become my life
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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How are you?
I am doing the best I can given the circumstances! (Horse dead, scammed thousands, got bald)
#There is an unspeakable agony in the marrow of my bones#I am rotting from the inside out in real time and I can do nothing but watch the decay and pretend to find beauty in it#But the maggots burrowing inside me love me more than anyone else ever could#For they have tasted me as I truly am and decided my rotten meat is something to savor#I am doing about as alright as any of you Number One#The earth still turns and I will wake up again tomorrow a little less rotten
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rough day...
#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around#i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage#poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh#i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#eddie dear#alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done#wait fuck. what where they#well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up#so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!
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Happy Birthday, Kaveh!
#genshin impact#genshin impact updates#genshin impact news#official#official art#birthday art#kaveh#MY BOY MY BOY MY BELOVED LITTLE GUY!#i scheduled this last night so right now i should be waking up to post the rest#i'm still in ireland (leaving tomorrow) but i have to wake up to post kaveh#because i love him
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FUCK JUST NARROWLY MISSED SIGNALIS RELEASE ANNIVERSARY BUT IM POSTING ANYWAY
HAPPY ANNIVERASRY SIGNALIS!!!!!!
#jacoart#SIGNALIS#ariane yeong#elster#lstr 512#signalis fanart#fuck i can barely render and i have to go to school tomorrow fuckkfkfkffufmkcsjfkajf#ITS SO WORTH IT THO#I STILL HAVE TO WAKE UP AT 4AM BUT FUCK IT WE BALL GAY PPL TIME
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today i had a realization that kinda freaked me out at first and now has me feeling incredibly sad. so i live in a pretty cold place, right? the coldest in the region actually. the town is always covered in mist and clouds, and in winter it can get so cold it snows. so, heres what i realized today:
the trees. theyre still green.
i cant explain how disturbing this seems to me. green trees in november. yesterday the maximum temperature was 19 °C, and i dont know how that translates to fahrenheit but let me tell you that its pretty fucking warm for autumn. im not even sure if its going to snow this year. thats bonkers.
as a being from nature, this has me feeling actually nauseous. like i know im not the most connected to nature guy in existence, but even i can tell when something feels off. something has gone terribly wrong here, and i dont know what to do about it. fuck.
#i feel awful#you know when you are having a nightmare and something disturbs you so much it wakes you up?#thats the feeling. except im still waiting to wake up. but i know i wont.#im going to bed now so if you leave a message i probably wont see it until tomorrow. just a heads up.#whispers of the dragon#otherkin#nonhuman#vent
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i've just discovered that they were selling the silliest lucifer plush and i'm so happy about it (unfortunately i am too late to get one myself)
i only just refrained from giving lucifer a hat to match his old man pjs, if only because i'm really bad at drawing hats
bonus:
#obey me#art#ohh my god i should've given lucifer a little candle to hold.....#ah well i just wanna post this and then i gotta force myself to go to bed#i have to wake up So early to catch the train tomorrow and alas i've probably already left it too late#i mean i can always take a nap on the commute but still. bed cosy#obey me lucifer#jtta ik
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my contribution to the thing day! i've spent a lot of time seriously imagining it and managed to draw this up, only to discover i'd lost my lineart pen :/ so this is remaining as a sketch! it's not perfect, despite messing around with it i'm still not quite happy with the current dnp drawings and i cut off the writing (it's supposed to be lyrics from still into you by paramore) but i hope you all like it :)
#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#phan#dip and pip#phanart#dnp art#15 years#my god#the current one is based on that one thumbnail and the 2009 one is a screenshot from pinof 1#i love these two#i have a phlaylist that i was listening to while i drew this and i feel like this song was literally made for them#i have a little animatic of them going in my head whenever i listen to still into you#i've done my crafting#now it's time to cry#and go to sleep#and hope that whatever i wake up to tomorrow won't be too world shattering
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-Thank you to everyone who is still here liking, commenting and reblogging my content, even though I'm not posting much “fandom stuff” anymore, you're still here! And I really appreciate that.. (and that makes me so happy, that as I showed in the “comic”, it moves me, so- thank you, really!!) :]💛
Also- a tip: there are also many other blogs that don't post fandom stuff, but when they do, they get more likes and reblogs than the original/other content.. So also give love to those people who have your original content, reblog, like, comment, because that's what they need! Recognition for your original content! And I know you won't regret it, and it won't hurt you to do what I said! In fact, you will be doing good and giving such love that many wanted and deserve.
A big kiss/p and a hug! Even for those who only like it when I post fandom stuff, I still love you so much, and I won't stop making this type of content, ok? I just want to give more voice to what I have to give as original, because that's what makes me happy and well ^^
-Melissa, Designer.
#ok- I don't even know where to start/say more qioqbsksb#but I wanted to thank you again for everything you've been doing for me. it's really nice of you to still be here with me.#even though I'm not posting something that you “love with passion”. you're still here. and that's really cool!#and I know I've said this a thousand times. but always know that I love you very much and that you are very special!#I'm very happy to wake up tomorrow. look at my notifications and there it is: always a comment or reblog.#and I wanted to pass on this feeling of happiness to others too.#I want them to feel loved too and to have people who also appreciate their work!#so please. it's not too much to ask. give love and affection to these blogs that have/make original content.#make sure they also have recognition. more desire to create content and keep the blog alive!#and yeah.. a big hug and I hope you have a wonderful day/night💛#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#mel designer#melissa designer#my oc character#comicart#comic#kinda?#thanks you guys#💛
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#hellooooo it's been a long week for sure#got my exam results. did a lot better than i thought i'd do!!!#also had an interview for a place in a community college which i got#but i hopefully got into uni (i'll find out 2pm tmrw) so i mightn't need it!!!#i'm so scared man i'm used to class sizes of like.. 8 😭#and now i've gotta get 4 buses a day to the city and back instead of a 20 min stroll up the road 😔#did a pub crawl saturday to celebrate. had a lot of fun#been having fun with bg3 too!! i'm still on act 1#my ear is blocked again 😔 it's €60 to get it drained ughhh i'll just suffer on#getting my first tattoo soon though 🥳#enough about me lol i need to make a personal sideblog one of these days#i'll def have a lot less time to be active with sims stuff if i'm starting uni so i'll be sure to make one ^^#ANYWAYS here's ms macmahon#/roxana#i swear to god i'm going to catch up with all the new kmik posts when i wake up tomorrow#if i don't assume me dead#ts4
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What is this for, love? Home, or glory?
#pokemon#swsh#assistant sonia#gym leader nessa#aquaheartshipping#mermay#on a technicality dskjfhjk but hey. it is the base concept#maybe later on in the month there will be an actual monster. but for now. themb#happy baku draws dr. jones and callie again!! I still think about them. about dr. jones' six phds#instead of going home to ur wife!! ma'am#this was fully like. me fucking around with colors probably. I was just coasting my digital energy while its still there#and then. here it is#the full res file of this is very big#my last two digital things are all drawn on a giant canvas lol#(the other digital thing. u gotta wait to see. itll be awesome)#this tho. this is here on time. fish!!#I may need to lay down#well what else is new!! I gotta wake up early tomorrow to marinade the stuff. so. you know how it is#have a good night!! home or glory its all good!
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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Usually I just save stuff like this to my drafts until I calm down but you know what, fuck it, I'm done.
Any so-called leftist who refuses to recognize that our options right now are "genocide abroad, progress at home" and "genocide abroad AND genocide at home" and that there is a significant difference between those two options is cordially invited to eat shit and die. We do not have time to entertain your anti-voting hopeless nonsense. A future in which we are able to move towards less death will always be preferable to the one in which we can't, and if you smug, sneering little clowns sacrifice that future on the altar of your own self-righteousness because you're too high on your own farts to realize how far up your own ass you are, I genuinely hope you fucking drown. Specifically, I hope you drown in the blood of the people who will die all over the world as a result of your bizarre refusal to work towards a future that doesn't include ethnic cleansing.
This is the United States. We sell war, here. I don't know how so many of you are only just now figuring that out, but you better get over your shock like yesterday because we are out of fucking time. We ran out of time when Reagan took office if not long before. You think not voting will improve any of this?
Keep calling, keep writing, keep screaming. Governments everywhere are (slowly) beginning to listen. Democrats are (slowly) beginning to listen. But Republicans never will, and if they seize power again next year (which they will absolutely do their damned to attempt), everything will be so, so much worse for everyone, everywhere. The work is slow and painful and imperfect but it will only get done if we show up and do the work, so keep calling, keep writing, keep screaming-- and when the time comes, you show up and vote for the future that lets us build a better tomorrow instead of just choking to death in the steaming shitpile of today.
#''i can't have No Genocide tomorrow!!! so i don't want No Genocide at all!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH'' that's you. that's how you sound#''if i can't have perfect then don't even fucking bother with better!! just give me worse instead!!'' are you for fucking real#you don't care about Palestine you don't care about anything other than being able to go ''Well. at least I didn't choose this.''#not choosing is still a choice! you stupid motherfucker!#choosing to stand at the lever and do nothing and watch the trolley crush five people is still a choice!!#how DARE you act like that blood is not on your hands!#again: THIS IS THE UNITED STATES. WE SELL WAR HERE.#not voting for Biden is not going to help Palestine!#in fact it will absolutely measurably make the situation WORSE!#for them AND everyone else!#this is the reality we are working with and if you want it to change then you HAVE to play the long game!#leftists heard ''don't let perfect be the enemy of good'' and went ''WHAT THE *FUCK* DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE PERFECT??! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA''#and i have fucking had it!#all i can do is try to keep working towards a day when the current left is the farthest right we have#but we are never gonna get there if y'all don't wake the fuck up and get moving#us politics#vent post#so help me god if this turns into a game of Spot the Tankie in the notes i'm gonna start knifing people
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Just made it to the end of the lost pages and I think I’m gonna finally sleep
My desk is COVERED in shredded sticky notes, my mind is full of codes,and I think I hallucinated some fuckin tv static like when bills boutta pop up in the corner of my room a while ago 😍😍😍😍 (which to a normal person would’ve been sign number one that hey maybe sleeping would be the right choice)
#there’s still so much to do#so so much#like for a while I didn’t have any sticky notes to put translations directly inside the book#so I just wrote them in my notebook#I’m gonna have to add all those in tomorrow#book of bill#the book of bill#hope my followers enjoy waking up to see my various posts of going insane over this book#gravity falls#gravity falls is consuming me once again ladies and gents
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duuuuude oh my god i had to redesign this guy like THRICE because i couldnt get it RIGHT! heres EDEN. for you.
#turning off rbs until i wake up in the morning (not in US)#just in case i want to fix anything#still doesnt have Everything i want but its OK whatever#dol#my art#eden the hunter#colors are still a little off. i dont particularly Know what i want him to look like :(#sorry for not giving him a beard i dont have the confidence i can make it look good#sorry i keep giving the older guys long hair i swear it isnt a thing (it is)#i swear i promise cross my heart ill stop. i promise#i promise i wont give avery long hair#also my art is better than my first post now...... maybe i should turn off rbs for those........ sigh#its a little embarrassing seeing it rbed still 😓#WHAT. I FORGOT CHEST HAIR. WHO AM I? THIS CANT BE ME. og my god give me a MINUUUUUUUUTE#done. imagine if i accidentally uploaded my oc file instead <- guy who had oc files open#i should probably make an about post at some point#maybe tomorrow#OK edit: fixed you can do whatever with it now
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