#i still have to find a stream lol
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#mishaedit#mishacollinsedit#misha collins#cwgothamknights#gif#i would put a caption in this but it's almost time and i can't think of anything to say so#gk promo#i still have to find a stream lol#misha 💕
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they match :')
#.png#SIBLINGS!#this is what i think happens. in the future. in some distant hypothetical future that capcom refuses to acknowledge now#either because their current aa writers couldn't be at all assed to go through the past games in order to have their narratives in order#or because they went through it. and still decided it would've been funnier to throw in a siblings or dating joke#in addition to their other egregious crimes in regards to tie-in narratives for a game that is part of a SERIES#anyway yeah i think after their sibling reveal thalassa relinquishes the other bracelet to trucy#i think she's only ever kept it and not given it to trucy bc it's either the only thing that connects her to apollo#or (i've forgotten if she thought he was dead or not or if it was mentioned) she's been hoping he would find her#and recognize the bracelet. and see it's a match#i'm rambly today wow#this would've been a good day to stream my drawing process LOL#would've said all this in a vod i wouldn't keep and it'll die forever#but i didn't. so now it's in the tags mwah
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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bath is such a tourist trap 😭😭 the roman baths were neat but that’s literally all there is
#stream#skip sally lunn’s house unless u want to sit around for 15 minutes waiting to have ur drink order taken only to sit around for an hour to#have to go out and FIND THE WAITER bc we been sittin for an HOUR waitin for the damn FOOD TO SHOW UP#man didn’t show up once 🙄#literally i’m still so annoyed that im going to leave a review like bro what the fuck we were the ONLY people in the entire ROOM & we were#just ??? looking around ???? like what the fuck#i hate all non american restaurants unless they’re like#UPPITY UPPITY restaurants or like a PUB#anything in between is trash & i would rather kill myself than go to them#either give me bugs in my drink or a Real Server that’s IT !!!!!#😭😭😭😭😭#i wouldn’t have been dramatic if i wasn’t just drinking fucking BLACK TEA on an EMPTY STOMACH like BRO i was going to VOMIT#i got so annoyed i was like i’m just going into the kitchen bc what the fuck is this like guess i gotta cook this trash myself ?#then they just comped the drinks like … lol#omar covered bc i was going to argue bc the ORHER SERVER SAID SHES COMPING EVERUTHING BC AN HOUR IS BULLSHIT#THATS AN H O U R#FOR FUCKING 2 SLICES OF HAM W MUSTARD ON A BUN#I’m soooooo ANNOYED#like what pisses me off the most is slow service#be RUDE just don’t be fuckin SLOW#IF UR TABLE IS BORED UR DOING A BAD JOB
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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Nowwwwww, I facetiously mentioned at the bottom of this post about the Halo: Reach achievement:
To do that, you have to go under or close to par time on pretty much each level ON LEGENDARY.
I have beaten Reach on Legendary but it probably took me closer to 30 hours than 3 because I did my slow, methodical strategies to get through. I did the par time achievement by running past everything I could on Easy. Can I combine the two successfully?
I decided to give the first level "Winter Contingency" a try (after watching some Youtube vids on getting this achievement, of course 😉). Par time is 15 minutes.
That was my third try, the first was 16 and some minutes, the second got it to 15 and some and then that one got under the par by 32 seconds! I should note that this is considered one of the easiest levels to do on Legendary and the guide I watched by the ever-awesome Halo Completionist did it under 12 minutes and you're going to need every spare second you can scrap together to give you a buffer for some of the long, difficult levels. But still!
It's silly, I know, but I feel so proud of me! I'm an old lady (well, middle-aged, if I'm being generous 😜) playing Halo with shaky hands but I made under par time on Legendary! 🥳🥳🥳
PS - Tried it again and got 13:55!
#halo#halo: reach#halo reach#this is my game tag#it's silly i know but i really am proud of me#nobody will ever realize how little i expected to be able to even finish ONE of the mcc games on easy#i wanted to be able to do it but i just didn't think i'd be able to#and then i made it through halo ce#and then the others slowly one at a time#it means something to me#i don't even know why but it does#i'm not good at games but i'm tenacious i'll keep trying#i'll watch different strategies then try to find something that'll work for me#i'll work at it until i get there#it's not pretty nobody would ever want to watch my twitch stream that's for sure lol#but i get it done#i'm proof that you don't have to be some amazing gamer to do some amazing things#i feel like there's a life lesson in there or something i dunno#is anybody still reading down this far in the tags?#have a cookie if you're still here#love you frens#thanks for letting me share with you#ageless aislynn
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i will be back after the strike! 💗
#sag strike captains have asked that content creators stop posting about any past or current struck productions#i stream/perform/produce/edit several podcasts/ttrpg shows/games/etc for a living#and get paid to do so#as well as working with multiple LLC creation groups#so as wild as it is to say#I do fall under that umbrella lmao#and even though this isn’t my like. public production social media or anything… this blog is specifically for a very struck production lol#im not that big of a deal in any direction. but i would like to abide by the guilds’ requests for web content creators#so! I’ll probably still check notifs and asks etc#but i won’t be posting here properly until the guilds reach a deal and I am so excited for them and wishing the best of luck!!!#find me on twitter being excited about unions @kkamabr#see y’all on the flip!#iinryer talk
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every time there's a new videogame preservation dmca or whatever crackdown people on here love to blame random posts for bringing them visibility. what's up with that
#i believe what actually spurred this¹ is the recent advances in emulation on the ios / apple store#(1: vimm's lair removal of roms i mean. check their homepage if you didn't know)#i think these companies play some mind games where they 'have' to present this image of absolute control over their IPs#but they definitely let a stream of piracy pass through to actually create / 'enhance' fans#like we all know people having access to old games is good business for them. but they can't say that out loud#like idk vimm's lair has been pretty well known for years now lol#in a way these are more symbolic than truly about profit#still fucking sucks ofc. and if i could i'd be a data hoarder. like with a little server rack and all#but yeah it just annoys me how ppl will always blame others just reblogging stuff#like this isn't top secret underground stuff. you can find it on fucking reddit slash r slash piracy
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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i was worried my mom would find it weird that i wanted to buy DVDs in 2023 but not only did she help me out but she also bought me a new portable DVD player. neat
#rambles#not jojo related#personal#we have DVD players laying around but they are quite old and mom didn't know where they were lol#i remember having a portable DVD player when i was little. i think i got in trouble for trying to put rocks in it#i really do like DVDs and we have quite a few of them still in our shelves but my parents have streaming services now so we don't use them#i have always been sort of repulsed by the idea of using streaming services for watching anything though#i really do not like the idea of all media not being ownable and instead being on streaming services that can delete media when it wants#of course i definitely DON'T just pirate things most of the time (totally definitely not)#anyway in this particular instance i got DVDs of invader zim (shocker)#particularly because the IZ DVDs have special commentary from the showrunners and voice actors#the commentary isn't available on anything else and i could only find some of them on youtube and on internet archive#so the DVDs i will get... i need to listen to that commentary god damn it#i looked into the DVDs and not only do they have commentary but also episode animatics and even an option for IRKEN subtitles??#i didn't even know irkens had a whole developed language tbh...#DVDs can be so cool with the artwork and custom screens and special features... so much cooler than streaming services really
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me: weird, I’m not able to reblog anymore? If I click reblog nothing pops up. I notice ublock origin’s counter keeps going up, what gives?
tumblr:
why the fuck is a wordpress pixel preventing me from reblogging you loser ass website. I’m not on wordpress, this breakage shouldn’t be happening.
Tbf, if I open a new tab or refresh the page I’m able to reblog again - but if I’m deep in the dash that’s obviously not the ideal move to make. I’m assuming this has something to do with the new UI Tumblr’s using because this hasn’t happened before.
Also, having refreshed the page and basically JUST making this post - can you fucking not??
Maybe it’s because I have the logger open so it’s not refreshing things but uhhh yeah this is dumb, whatever’s happening here.
On top of my heart kinda racing (bad) by just using the new UI because it feels like I’m on twitter again I’m just so annoyed with everything @staff is doing >.> STOP IT god dammit
#if your website breaks because I'm using ublock origin - I'm not using your website#thankfully the app is there and it Seems I can refresh the page desktop to reblog again but god....#why r y'all so hellbent on making me hate it here lol. I keep trying to say I love the community then tumblr throws another curveball#like hey!! do you want a new shitty update you didn't ask for?? here 🤲#the twitterfication of tumblr includes finding unique ways to make you at least little angry or annoyed every day >.>#uhhhh on top of twitter going to hell and twitter ppl joining tumblr. I Can Tell bc there's def a lot more discourse posts floating around#the past couple of weeks. It's too late for the rent lowering gunshots huh?#like the ecosystem here improved significantly when the reddit folk came over then twitter implemented a post view limit and#almost immediately twitter ppl came over and kinda offset the reddit ppl 😭 idk things r p chill over at cohost#i gotta work on building out my circles over there and finding more ppl because it's a genuinely fun place and as time goes on feels#more and more like tumblr than fucking tumblr itself does. I'm still here bc i'm invested in my mutuals and the artists I follow.#I wouldn't be surprised if at some point I just plug an API and stream posts from artists somewhere else so I don't#even have to be on here anymore.
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hehe
#ark died in pixel party and decided to take pictures of me kjhfdk#also I FINALLY GOT THE DRAGON WINGS AAAAAAAAAUGH i've been debating it for a while#dragon techno................. my favorite au thing to come out of smpe#i should draw him again it's been a bit#crunchies#me!#gonna start a tag for myself lol i like looking at them#gotta go find the ones of me in catlord's stream and add them to the tag lol#or just repost them. i do have them still
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between my computer deciding to rebel, and work, and life, and I feel like I have a perpetual minor cold with that kinda slightly stuffy feel and that taste in the back of my throat,
I am kindly requesting someone to just Old Yeller me at this point
#the computer one is pissibg me off particularly because i Just built this shit two years ago#then i do a driver update a couple of weeks ago and start noticing that now if i game and watch a stream at the same time#some windows process starts choking the fucking life out of my CPU after a couple of hours#and after following a chain of looking shit up i get to ghe event viewer#and there's just a nonstop parade of errors for typically one or two things#at this point i drag my dad in because im out of my depth#i do some more shit. i update and reflash the bios. i check drivers 500 times. i reformat the drive and reinstall windows from scratch.#even if it seems okay for a bit it eventually starts shitting out errors again.#they are either about DeviceGuard or complaining about the network#i look up some more things! i find some references but they tell me to turn off or on some things that are already enabled or disabled.#we begin thinking theres something wrong with the network part of the motherboard#i have an adapter we grabbed from work to try when i get home.#if that doesnt work then i am buying a new motherboard cpu memory and cpu cooler#because if im going to have to fucking replace shit then i might as well upgrade#part of me wants to keep the old stuff and set up a new computer and try troubleshooting because puzzle. and i hate not knowing WHAT PART#SPECIFICALLY is fucked#bro i am so TIRED#i JUST did the math a few weeks ago and was like YES if i live on ramen for a few pay cycles i will pay off my credit card and start saving#to put toward my student loans when those start up again. and my computer went 'lol thats cute'#like i am deathly afraid that i will replace all this shit and it'll STILL have this issue#like. it's useable. i could live with it. but it's clearly not normal behavior and that's what bothers me. something is clearly wrong.#not to sound old but remember when shit just fuckin worked#like i sat there for 5 hours yesterday trying different shit. finally thought i had fixed something. go to bed. wake up.#STREAM OF ERRORS for the network thing again every few minutes while i was asleep.#what are you DOING. what is WRONG WITH YOU.#my dad is looking over my shoulder at the event viewer like 'that looks like a SQL statement but why is it failing etc etc'#EXCELLENT QUESTION AND I ONLY UNDERSTOOD THREE OF THOSE WORDS! why is my computer sick!!#no it's not a virus. i promise. i was raised better than that#it FEELS like something fundamentally broke. it feels like a hardware thing. but how. what fucking demons did microsoft summon#in a driver update. that went into my computer and physically broke my shit
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can chrome still track your data if it's downloaded but you're not using it?
#several streaming sites' video players ~mysteriously~ don't work on firefox anymore#so i have chrome exclusively for watching things i can't find pirated#but if it can still do what it does just by virtue of being on my computer i will delete and redownload again every use lol#jack facts
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At work today I accidentally revealed the fact that I don't watch Youtube videos when I have Youtube open. I don't even usually listen to music while I'm at work (unless I'm the only one around), but I put in my earbuds at lunch to listen to "Broken Heart (Thirteen Valleys)" and I even had it open to the music video on YT and even the temptation of how pretty Stuart is in it was not enough to make me watch it I just stood outside of the class I was going to support after lunch with my earbuds in listening to it and staring off with my phone out in front of me in my hands but I was clearly not looking at it. A 6th grader I'd seen earlier in the day (during the class where I actually do my job - so he's one of the students I work with, although I'm just now getting to know the 6th graders who I'm working with this year) even stopped on his way into the class I was waiting for to say hi to me and I was so engrossed in listening that all I did was say hi to him even though I totally remembered his name. :/ (I always try to say hi to students and use their names when they say hi to me so they know I remember them. I'm pretty good with names and faces but every now and then I'll accidentally call a kid by the totally wrong name or I'll just completely blank on their name and I am deathly embarrassed every time. It doesn't usually happen though, once I learn it, but I'm still learning ALL of the 6th graders' names - the 30 or so 6th graders I'm working with this year - so I especially want to prove to those kiddos that I remember their names.)
#crystal visions of lilies in the valley#btw I am also saying in general: I do not watch Youtube videos. I listen to music on Youtube via videos that I do not watch. LOL#(because fuck if I'll pay for fucking Youtube Music. I won't even pay for Spotify; what makes you think I'll pay for Youtube! NEVER.)#besides; my main goal always is to support the artists and bands that I love by BUYING THEIR MUSIC DIRECTLY (when possible)#so that is my number one goal which coincides with my desire to own the music I love and not have to depend on streaming platforms.#but at this point I'm not about to pay more than $5 for fuckin' 'Peace in Our Time' and right now I'm not finding that possible. lol so...#I literally went to Discogs and thought 'give me your SHITTIEST copy of Peace in Our Time' and still the cheapest is $10 w/shipping#there is no chance that any of my local record stores in WA state in the U.S.A. have any Big Country albums at all beyond The Crossing#and even then! none of my local stores have any Big Country albums!!!!!! because I've checked! so yeah I'm fucked. lol
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