#i still hate curly

[kalied0skull]

I'm not a fic writer. never have been, never really a thing a i do

BUT! i have this very specific concept in my mind: ponyboy who hates change, post-story.

... I'll explain it shortly. but er, first, here's a couple excepts from the fic I'm writing so far about it.

MONDAY: (excerpt cut from mid-day)

At lunch, it was just as bad. He was trying to read, hoping the words on paper would distract him from the words in his head.

Curly and his friends at the table were joking around and fighting. Curly glanced over at Ponyboy with a smirk, and smacked his book down playfully, and it made a thwip-slap sound as it fell. Ponyboy just stared, expression blank and sunken.

“What’s up, horseguy? Where’s your head at?” Curly teased, picking it back up and tossing it onto the table where it slid across to another friend, who shoved it Pony's way.

Ponyboy just shrugged. His thoughts were already flooding back up with words, that simple smack felt like the end of it all in that moment. He could feel his throat begin to close up, and his eyes warm with wetness.

It didn’t take long for the others to get distracted with each other again. Ponyboy didn't bother to pick the book back up.

SATURDAY: (excerpt from evening time.)

“You playing me, Sodapop?” Two-Bit snickered, a sharp glare making its way across the kitchen table to Soda, Steve and Pony right in the middle of it.

“Nope.” He popped his lips on the p, giving Two-Bit a sly grin back as he put down a card.

Ponyboy sat there with his cards in his hands. He had been playing, but it's not like he was really paying much attention to it. He was spaced out, out of the loop, doing his Ponyboy thing. Thinking.

Steve grumbled, kicking Two-Bit lightly and telling him to play a card. Two-Bit’s gaze never left Soda as he placed down a set of cards. The rest of the conversation buzzed out as Ponyboy went back to staring at his hand.

Something feels off. Maybe it's just because he's stuck in his head, but there's an obvious reason as to why he's been stuck in his head all week. He just can't place it.

that's all i wanna show off since it's the only parts i like so far. so far, all of these days are being placed of scenes that made his day feel the most terrible.

I'm mostly reflecting my own grief onto ponyboy in this, last year January i had one of the worst weeks that built up from excused emotions and overwhelming thoughts from things month before ... so, y'know, as someone who grieves, i thought I'd write that into Pony. Unfortunately.

the thing that makes him crack though is the funniest (not really), because it's what made me write the entire fic because I noticed myself thinking about it: His hair growth.

I cut my hair after my loss, and Pony's was still freshly bleached. I kind of wanted to work with how he'd react to his hair growing without his head. In a metaphorical sense, or however you put it :3

I'll be back with more, but i wanted to share it just for now!!!

[gender-ihardlyknower]

Sorry

[villowstar]

kris dreeeeeeemurrrrrrr

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[readngandweepng]

polished this 2-week old wip i had (oops) of ftm daisuke and curly both being pillow riders.

MDNI gender neutral dom reader. this kinda sucks because im burnt out right now but i got some new motivation i reaally did not want to pass up on. very short.

you’d be sitting in front of him as he grinds into a pillow, his hands gripping the front of it for leverage.

daisuke would be in a hurry, trying to cum as soon as possible. you’d have to hold on to his hips to stop him, guiding him in a much slower pace that has him getting teary-eyed. he’s never been patient, not understanding the appeal of not having an orgasm when they feel so good, and you know that if you don’t stop him he’ll grind himself into one before you can even blink. 

the only clothing he has on is his uniform shirt, his impatience having got the best of him. his eyes are barely open, his attention focused entirely on the pillow he's trying his best to grind into. his clit barely catches onto it so he has to keep fixing his position before he finds the right spot. he's asking for you, begging for you to "just help him out a little." but before you know it he's found it, and to make it easier for him you hold onto his hips again, this time easing him into a gentle bounce. now he's moaning, his hands hold on to your shoulders for support before he's over the edge. and if you're really lucky, he may even be able to handle doing it one more time.

sometimes instead of a pillow, you can make daisuke ride you through your jeans. it makes him whiny. he’s too clumsy to do it properly, never quite being able to get enough friction or build up a satisfying orgasm on his own. he won’t be able to stop talking if you put your hand between you and his clit, thanking you and telling you how much he loves you as you grind the heel of your palm in sync with his desperate humping. he only quiets down when he finally cums, not having the energy (or the voice) to say any more.

curly is a lot shyer, and much more patient. you have to egg him on with encouraging words until he works up the confidence to add some flourish to his riding. he’s better at circling his hips and knowing when and where to bounce on the pillow to build up his pleasure. you don’t need to physically guide him, but the more praise and motivation you give him the quicker he gets to cumming.

he bites his lip, already his heart drums loudly in his ears. his hands run down his body to squeeze his thighs, and with his eyes shut he tries to pretend like it's you he's grinding against. the thought makes his hole flutter as he attempts to slowly drag his clit against the cushion. he lets himself have a couple bounces before he stops, his thighs closing around the pillow with finality as he waits.

he leans forward to kiss you until he starts grinding again. you give him more words of encouragement, and though by this point he doesn't really need them, your praise has his arousal skyrocketing anyway. he lets himself moan just loud enough that only you can hear them. the pillow brushes against his clit at a swift pace, and after his orgasm rushes over him his body slumps forward, his legs now too shaky to comfortably hold him up. you pull him into your arms, massaging his aching hands, and quietly into his ear you tell him just how well your captain curly did.

[clearlydusty]

me and my sisters played Mouthwashing for the first time, and even though I got a ton of spoilers from tumblr this game was still an AMAZING experience. Can you guess who my favorite is??

(also just found out that daisuke describes his experience on the tulpar to Anya, not J*mmy, so I put him there for nothing)

[possum-quesadilla]

A couple nights ago, I had a dream that Starkid made a musical based off of Lego Batman. To avoid copyright lawyers, they performed it on a moving train. I was cast as the Joker in my dream, and when you looked behind the train, you could see swarms of people in business attire trying and failing to catch up to the train and sue the company for copyright infringement.

This also meant, however, that the people who wanted to see the show also couldn’t catch up, and would just get bits and pieces of it as the train passed their station. Everyone was trying to piece the songs and story together online.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Best Mags hair right here imo!

mags with curly hair is the best iteration of his hair i cannot be swayed on this.... the beard tho..... INCREDIBLY loud 'hm'ing..........

[screamingfr]

It was totally an accident- He didnt mean to /s

Sillies hehe

I have a math test tmmrw. So what do I do instead of go to sleep or practice? Draw funny thing to cope with my misfortune... Im so gonna fail guys.

[freaky-flawless]

Finally got a Venus's core doll! Got curious, and put her in Music Festival Venus's shirt, and aside from the arms being tight, it fits shockingly well.

[blupoh]

[dykedvonte]

Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

[billygoated]

Finally got around to playing Mouthwashing and god damn is this gonna be one of the games that sticks with me for a while. because like, what the fuck? (in a good way dw)

Spoilers below the cut! (CW: rape, pregnancy, cannibalism, suicide, Jimmy.)

Honestly the biggest thing that surprised me about my experience with the game and the so far two days since my completion of it, is Curly. Fucking Curly. i have a love-hate relationship with this man. because on one hand i can genuinely believe in his competence as a captain, but on the other... he utterly failed Anya (and the rest of the crew to by extension) by showing blatant nepotism towards Jimmy due to their being friends by not doing anything about him actually just straight up RAPING Anya and getting her pregnant.

Like, don't get me wrong, if Jimmy wasn't the whiny egotistical jackass that he was i fully believe the crew would've completed the journey just fine and gotten paid (even if they where gonna be jobless afterwards anyway due to the company going bankrupt). But this one fucking failure of his, this one fuck up due to a personal fault, singlehandedly doomed the entire fucking crew and condemned him to not only watch, but to outlive all of them by a long time. And by the time he realized his mistakes, it was far, FAR too late for him to do anything. All he could do was laugh as Jimmy picked up the gun.

And this man really stared his failures in the face when Anya took her own life in front of him, and he was the one to tell her that the medbay could be locked no less! And he had to watch Jimmy kill Swansea, and then eventually himself, after forcefeeding Curly his own leg and putting him in the cryopod. Curly essentially paid the price of his own actions, as well as paying the price for Jimmy's (who he is partially responsible for the actions of as his captain, best friend, and as someone WHO KNEW DAMN WELL HE RAPED SOMEBODY).

But at the end of the day i don't believe Curly is some belligerent psychopath who went out of his way to be just as bad as Jimmy himself, Curly is a person who let his social nature and friendship turn into favoritism and complacency with the status quo, ultimately trying to preserve it much to everyone's detriment.

I genuinely believe Curly cares about his crew, I really do. And i like that about him. But his mentality as a captain to preserve the status quo was a big part in why Jimmy was able to do what he did. It's not like the signs weren't there even not accounting for what happened to Anya, it literally would've been written all over Jimmy's psych eval, Anya herself even points it out to him. The man is not well and shouldn't have been allowed on the ship (though corporate bullshitery was also partially responsible for this as i am not blind to this games anti-capitalist themes).

I think that's about all i have to say though and i suck at concluding long winded stuff like this so TL:DR Swansea should've been captain, He's a real one and actually has a spine.

(i will almost certainly edit this if i think of anything i want to add or correct about my takes.)

[eveningrainstorm]

Listen. Swansea is great; he's a well-written character and I like him a lot. But it's weird to me how much fan content I see about him that seems to make him out to be a lot nicer than he's actually shown to be in the game, and nowhere is this more obvious than in how people depict his relationship with Anya.

I've seen other people address the whole "If Anya had told Swansea what happened he'd have killed Jimmy" thing (she did. he didn't.) but there's a larger issue where people act like Swansea cared a lot more about Anya and was a lot closer with her than is actually the case in canon. And sure, the game leaves a lot of room for differing interpretations of things and imaginings of what could have happened offscreen, but I've seen so many people act like this idea of Swansea and Anya being close is something actually depicted in canon which. It very much is not.

Like okay. Let's talk about this. What does the game itself actually show us about Anya and Swansea's relationship?

Well, we don't see much of their dynamic before the crash aside from them just being coworkers with some level of familiarity with each other. They do stand together at the birthday party, and Anya playfully tells Curly that “Swansea really likes that cake. Don’t tell anyone,” to which Swansea only "hmph"s in response. From this we can gather that the two of them are friendly enough that Anya feels comfortable teasing him. Even so, she certainly isn't an exception to his characteristic harshness and brutal honesty — take an interaction later in the same scene, where a distressed Anya says she has no savings and asks if Pony Express can really fire them like this and Swansea, not cruelly but certainly bluntly, tells her that Pony Express going under has been a long time coming.

Of more importance, perhaps, is the game's first "2 months after the crash" segment, where we are first introduced to both of them — and where the game makes it quite apparent just how little Swansea respects Anya. The very first scene, in fact, features Swansea interrupting Anya and mocking her when she tries to explain why opening the cargo hold is a good idea. Later, when talking to Jimmy, Swansea calls Anya "our so-called nurse" and says that "it's in one ear and out the other" when talking about how she nearly got injured on the broken vent. And if you get the code scanner before talking to her Swansea will tell you to get her before opening the cargo hold but specifically with the justification that "even she couldn't make the situation worse with her presence." None of this is really uncharacteristic of Swansea, given he talks about Daisuke in much the same way, but it's not something that can just be swept under the rug — and yet, seemingly, everyone does. I hardly ever see anyone even mention Swansea insulting her here.

Of course, none of these scenes are where the idea that Swansea and Anya are particularly close comes from. No, that idea comes from a single scene: "3 months after", when Jimmy finds the two of them talking in the cockpit at night. We only see the end of this conversation, where Anya, apparently crying, is saying “No. I understand completely. If that’s how it has to be—”

The game never reveals exactly what the two of them were talking about; the two main theories I've seen are that Swansea was telling her that he was saving the cryopod for Daisuke or that she had told Swansea that Jimmy assaulted her and Swansea was saying she'd just have to put up with being around him for the time being. Personally, I think the latter is much more likely, but either way, the end result is the same: regardless of how much Swansea cares about Anya, her well-being is not his first priority.

We never see any follow-up on this conversation; if Anya and Swansea meet up behind Jimmy's back at any other point, we don't see it or hear it referenced. "4 months after" offers no interaction between the two of them at all, with Swansea busy dancing drunkenly while Anya, on the other side of the lounge, tells Jimmy about the extra medicine cabinet. "5 months after", Anya commits suicide in Medical while Swansea sits drunk and oblivious in front of Utility. The only reference to Anya and Swansea's conversation — and the closest we get to a confirmation of what it was about — comes after Daisuke's death, when Jimmy uses "telling Anya who knows what" as a sign of shady behavior from Swansea, and Swansea agrees that he did talk to Anya, "but it was her telling me all sorts of things instead, wasn't it?", the implication being that she told Swansea about Jimmy raping her.

This line is interesting. Swansea is referencing what Jimmy did to Anya here, and implicitly condemning him for it, and yet... well, Anya's already dead. Swansea isn't doing anything for her, really; he doesn't seem particularly emotional or angry about it, either. All it really is, when it comes down to it, is a spiteful jab at Jimmy — just Swansea, still angry over Daisuke's death, trying to get under Jimmy's skin.

We never see Swansea react to Anya's death. This isn't surprising; we aren't shown what happened when Daisuke got the door to Medical open, and afterwards Swansea is understandably preoccupied with Daisuke's fatal injuries. The first thing Swansea says about Anya after her death is the line about her telling him things. And, well... here's the problem.

That line? Is also the last thing Swansea says about Anya.

He never mentions her again. That one line, the one that doesn't even mention her death, the one that seems more about getting at Jimmy than mourning her — that's the last we hear of her from Swansea. And maybe he does care, maybe her death is just as much a catalyst for him trying to kill Jimmy as Daisuke's is. But he never says anything about her. He doesn't mention her in his death scene. Sure, that last portion of the game is largely filtered through Jimmy's mind, his disregard for Anya keeping her out of focus, but Swansea's death — a moment of sharp, simple clarity in which Swansea says all the things Jimmy doesn't want to hear — doesn't have that excuse. Swansea doesn't say a thing about her, because in the end, he's not focused on her either.

So that's what we have. They don't seem to be that close, before or after the crash, though they theoretically could be. Anya telling him specifically about what Jimmy did could be considered a notable show of trust, but then again she could have just wanted to tell someone and considered him her best option, and in any case if she was hoping for him to do anything about it, he didn't. And despite a large portion of the fandom believing it to be the case, there isn't actually anything indicating that he told Anya about the cryo pod — if anything, his assertion that it was Anya who told him things rather than the other way around is evidence against it. Technically, anything's possible — Swansea could have comforted Anya when she told him about Jimmy, he could have offered her the cryo pod, he could have grieved her just as much as Daisuke — but looking at what the game itself presents, the picture it paints is far different from the one typically seen in the fandom.

We don't know what's going on in Swansea's head. We don't know what happens in the time between the moments the game shows us. But what the game does show us is this: Swansea repeatedly is disrespectful and rude to or about Anya; Swansea doesn't do anything after she tells him what Jimmy did to her; Swansea doesn't have any real reaction to Anya's death. Does he care about her? Probably. I'd like to believe so. But she's not the one he decides to kill Jimmy over, she's not the one he has regrets for in his dying moments, she's not the one he's saving the cryo pod for.

Maybe Swansea cares about Anya, but she's not his first priority. And isn't that sort of the point? This is what the game has been showing us the whole time: Anya is no one's first priority, except her own.

[pqdfootsmoon]

PERCY JACKSON SEASON FINALE SPOILERS

but omg charlie bushnell was the BEST person to cast for luke cause OMG he did a PERFECT job acting that out. that betrayal scene was done so much better than i couldve imagined

[dykedvonte]

Its really interesting that Jimmy’s chair is the one tilted away from the screen in this shot:

It’s indicative of how his and Jimmy’s dynamic was. He’s not staring ahead at the screen, he’s not paying attention to what they are doing. Curly is the only one looking forward. Jimmy quite literally couldn’t see the responsibility Curly had or was doing. Jimmy likely slacked off and avoided most of his duties. I mean the one time we know he pilots the Tulpar he steers it wrong and loses the team 4000 credits. Even in the positions they held objectively, Curly was always taking responsibility for Jimmy. Not to mention the “We can fix this” and only one chair at attention. Jimmy never had intentions to fix anything, throughout the game, throughout his entire relationship with Curly. Curly always fixed it? Why would it be any different here?

If he even took the slightest bit of responsibility, he would’ve stayed in the cockpit to see his plan through. In the end Curly did what Jimmy always expected him to do for him and took responsibility. Did what he always did and took responsibility at the wrong time…