#i still don't think i have an answer
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It's been six months since I finished Endwalker and I still don't feel like I have fully processed Ultima Thule. Like I still don't think I can fully articulate what I feel about it.
#this is not necessarily an expression of dislike#but that i have always felt somewhat ambivalent about where it falls thematically#and i have been sitting with it a long time trying to decide if it works for me or not#(something i think it is healthy to do btw you are not required to form a hard opinion two minutes after finishing a complex story.#but that's another discussion lol)#i still don't think i have an answer#and i want to have one!#idk maybe i'll try writing my thoughts out and see if something crystallizes#ffxiv stuff#endwalker spoilers
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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I think that Sethos's hangout should be three routes of him unintentionally wingmanning and/or awkwardly third-wheeling the other couples in Sumeru, one round of the sickest lore bomb drop since Caribert, and then a final route of nothing but pure, unadulterated SethoScara fan bait that has absolutely zero connection to anything else in the game.
Sethos, Wanderer, and Mini Durin go on a Deshret ruins adventure entirely of their own, where Traveler just accidentally intersects them, and there's not a single explanation given for how they got to the level of companionship that involves taking long desert retreats together. Sethos spends the entire time trying to offer Wanderer increasingly comedically bad advice on his thesis because Cyno is rubbing off on him. There is only one tent.
It is presented entirely without comment from the devs.
Everyone moves on like Sethos and Wanderer have been married since 3.4.
There's an entire slew of confused complaints on Hoyo social media about how Sethos and Wanderer's "strange friendship" came entirely out of nowhere, but everyone in the comments just gaslights the posters by pretending Sethos was in sidequests all the way back at the start of Sumeru.
This is how I get us back onto the better timeline, guys, trust.
#genshin impact#sumeru#sethos#sethoscara#wanderer#coming out as a SethoScara fan as well#since I don't think I've ever posted about them before#I just like Sumeru ships to be honest#Sumeru cast just hits different#also I have not forgotten about the messages in my inbox#there are still like 20+#I will answer... but long posts take so much energy...#am a blob#not enough braincells to meta recently
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This was home.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#blood#Good bye Jiang Disciples. May you live on in the Lan Wangji in lotus pier AU.#This is going to be the start of a bunch of sad scenes I desperately try to undercut with humour.#You may ask where Elle Woods is considering her help was requested.#The canon answer is that she didn't make it there in time. This is the reason why WWX has the pink phone in present day.#It is a favour she owes him out of apology.#I am also making it canon that Jiang Cheng hates Elle Woods for not being there. His two Nemeses in PD-MDZS are Elle and WWX.#This is why Jiang Cheng doesn't have the phone. He would hunt her down but Bruiser bit him really bad last time he tried.#His pride is too hurt to try again.#I don't think I've done a wordless comic in a while - what a fun challenge!#I'm getting lots of practice with backgrounds in the last few comics - I really feel like I'm getting more comfortable with it!#Obviously I still have a long way to go but this is a journey B*)
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Would Greyhold use his face tentacles to lift weights?
Not Very Well.
Bonus:
#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3#karlach#greygold#squid greygold#this is too silly I am so sorry#I think the answer might've strayed from the original question but more or less- yes#sadly their strength stat did not improve#but still stronger than the 8 strength bois!#I have never used Hide in Plain Sight EVER. But Greygold would use the free invisibility for fun.#Imagine lil squidgold just rushing at you crawling with all four lil tentacles. Terrifying visual.#really all the strength points are in the tentacles; don't need to exercise those; need a work out for everything else puh
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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Finding out the Danny Phantom pitch bible originally included more creatures other than ghosts really makes me want to just (DUMPS TRANSCENDENCE AU ALL OVER IT)
#Danny Phantom#tau#transcendence au#zilly squeaks#Danny would still be a ghost and not a demon. i think. brainworms pending#oh no here come the crossover thoughts#portal accident happens just years after The Transcendence#hear me out#Danny and Dipper bonding over becoming immortal nonhumans feared by the general public#'i rolled out of bed today and fell into the basement' 'that's rough buddy. i threw up glitter today' 'shit dude'#'you getting unsolicited summoning rituals too' 'yeah i found out how to make an answering machine for that' 'oh no WAY you gotta show me'#no but fr Danny Sam and Tucker deserve to have wacky adventures involving all sorts of creatures#PLEASE everlasting trio + mystery twins being very new and very bad at this and helping each other#are they the same age? canon ages?? i don't know what would be funnier
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I love Jar of Mice! I've never seen creature designs like Thrones before.
You mention Ibis tissue in some of the posts, and I read the old post about it - has the lore changed since then? Does it have anything to do with the bones of God at Godtomb?
I'm very flattered! I don't think of Thrones as particularly creative but I suppose that's because I know all the ingredients for them... Actually let me take this post as an excuse to go into them a bit!
I extremely enjoy taurs and human "hybrid" style creatures like sphinxes a massive amount, but there are a ton of artists who's particular styles and sensibilities have inspired me. Coming to mind off the top of my head are artists on social media like Bwusagi, Suzumori521, Deerchip, Theveryworstthing, iliothermia, and definitely more...
I tend to collect a lot of art of centaurs, sphinxes, harpies, and dragons that catches my fancy, here's some of it:
(An Islamic depiction of Sagittarius, Salome Sphinx by Nicholas Kalmakoff, ????, Nagas by Rabi Behera, Şahmaran)
Edit: forgot the Lamassu, which is a more specific inspiration than any of the things above or below.
Jim Woodring is one of my inspirations for Thrones that people tend to clock, and they're correct. It's probably the colors, patterns, eyes, shapes.....
Oh and.
Her.
And for the second question, yes! The tissue was once on the bones, although the Ibis tissue used in the temples for the creation of dagnyds is much more equivalent to a cell culture than anything at this point. It's desire to grow and take form is the creative force that humans have harnessed to create dagnyds..... for better or worse.
I don't have any art of it i'm happy with, but here's some several year old pixel art of an Oracle Computer, which is filled with the stuff. Honestly though, I don't think "black goo" is very compelling or visually interesting considering what the stuff actually is. It needs work.
Everything always needs work...
#My art doesn't hold a candle to any of this tbh and i don't want to @ anyone and be annoying#Looking through the insp folder for JOM and its like...#pokemon minoan frescos manga medieval Islamic paintings moebius dinotopia historical costumes a picture of a bug... and so on...#i particularly like medieval things that veer into being very surreal combinations of anatomy#you'd be amazed what you can achieve by covering something in polka dots#looking at my pixel art from several years ago and being like damn this is quite good still#i could probably do better now... i want to get back to it#also i have not read dungeon meshi btw i just saw that art above like 2 years ago and was like holy shit that fucks#answering#jar of mice#misc#flattered ppl think thrones are unique i guess they're just a thorough enough blend of a large enough number of things that they don't come#across as derivative
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The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes reviews I've seen fixate on the story's discussion of whether humans are inherently good or inherently evil as if one side or the other is the correct answer. Meanwhile the story itself is showing that individual choice in every action--choosing to act out of either love or self-interest--is what truly matters in shaping society. A free and stable society requires that people be taught to make selfless choices rather than act out of fear. Instead of oppressing people into fearful order, citizens need to have the freedom to choose the good, and be educated with the values that teach them what good is.
#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#i'm still mentally fighting with that christian review of the movie#'the movie discusses whether humans are inherently good or evil but the truth is we're depraved and need a savior'#and meanwhile i'm like#'well first off i don't think calvinist doctrine is going to help you here'#and i'm also like#you think the story*isn't* wrestling with the fallen nature of humanity?#you think it doesn't recognize that there's no merely human answer that can solve the problem of evil?#that we have to be fools by the world's standards to create a world worth living in?#can you actually understand what this very didactic story is telling you or do i have to do everything here?
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Kirby deals with existential crisis and Bandana is a good friend
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#hoshi no kirby#king dedede#bandana waddle dee#gooey#i like the fact that gooey is canonically Kirby's roomie and we never see him therr#i don't think even Kirby knows where he goes#he's like a wild cat you let live in your house but still manages to go out and returns when it wants#did you know gooey means everything to me#everyone's pal gooey#enough about gooey let's talk trauma#Kirby's existential crisis is my favorite subtextual overall narrative from the kirby novels#it's so good how Kirby is always a bit uncomfortable every time they find someone who looks like them#and no one makes them feel worse than void#i think Kirby understood more about void than we give them credit for#and if you ask me why does Kirby have nightmares despite being inside of Dreamland and around the fountain of dreams#the answer is idk#anyway bandana is really perceptive about it#marx is an asshole as always#i wish Kirby's fear and inadequacy could be explored more#they're only hinted at by the novels#but i know Kirby saw themselves in Galacta Knight#the novels confirmed Galacta used the allies sparkler when defeating void termina and the sparkler represents something objectively pure#so my favorite hc is that Kirby was born after the heroes of yore defeated void and star allies draws parallels to that giving you og Kirby#Kirby defeated void and got friends Galacta got imprisoned for eternity#i wonder if Galacta went through the same identity crisis Kirby went through but Galacta sealed with it worse#anyway nothing bad will happen to Kirby after all they have tons of friends to rely on
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Does Hed help Les with grooming his back?
This is a really old ask about this post. And the answer is yes, definitely!
I ended up drawing them back in their room in Vibe City because I've been thinking a lot about them growing up there lately. This is a little before Les gets kicked out (big fight with dad) and they end up traveling around with Flea who is at uni at this point. (Flea isn't a local, he moved there because of uni a couple of years prior, and that's when Les and Hed met him. He is the only other mixed/non-fully funk troll they know at that point.)
In the drawing Hed is studying for a test. He's in the second year of high school when he drops out. This upsets and angers Les because he has good grades but Hed insists that they should form a band (like they used to talk about when younger) because he is secretly shit scared of letting Les live alone and fuck off to who knows where. - At this point in time Vibe City is pretty much grounded in the same location most of the time, and if Les doesn't have work, he likes to spend his time in the suburb/woods outside the city where he takes care of his beetle van, Scaab. And Hed is aware Les has been itching to leave the city for a while already...
This has been an unexpected mini lore dump, thank you for your time :P
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#ex bandmates#les#hed#flea didn't mind dropping out of uni bc dude was there for the student life and not much else lol#traveling around and playing at small gigs sounds like a better use of his time (his moms don't agree but he's 21 and can do what he wants)#i think rock and funk societies have similar school systems to ours and that their societies look the most like ours (to some degree)#pop trolls have elementary school but then what they call high school is just apprenticeships. and they have no higher education#answered#my art#trolls oc#vibe city is grounded because the king and queen aren't looking for their lost son yet (maybe they aren't even married yet?)#it's still quite a few years before the twin eggs are laid#also i think this is the first time i mentioned scaab by name#yes his name is scaab no i don't have a picture of him but i have tried drawing him plenty of times and i can see him in my head
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Please tell me Smith would also support his sister if he knew. I really like Smith as a character (despite what happened with Mac)
My tags on that post go a little more in depth about Smith's side of things;
Do I think Smith was at some point in his life, a little susceptible to homophobia? Maybe a little. He's from a rural, likely hyper-religious upbringing. Been "the man of the house" longer than he can remember.
But Mugman’s very openly queer. Mojito’s entire character arc is coming to terms that he's been sitting on feelings for his male roommate for years. And Smith would kill for either of them, no questions asked.
Smith already went through what he needed to be normal about the topic of different sexualities.
He doesn't talk with Mac or Goldie about their love lives and sexualities, but less because he would be judgemental about it, and more that he doesn't want to pry or hover over his little brother and sister's personal lives.
If she ever told him, he'd do his damnedest to make sure she knew that he still loves her and it changes nothing.
#Cuphead#Cuphead: Don't Deal With the Devil#Cuphead: DDWTD#CDDWTD#CDDWTD Mugman#CDDWTD Mac#CDDWTD oc#Cuphead oc#cupsona#CDDWTD Mojito#CDDWTD Smith#CDDWTD Goldie#fizzles answers#anon#anonymous#Headcanon Folder#putting it in that tag for archive purposes#i think mugman still periodically takes smith to drag shows and gay bars. its good for him 😤#smith would ABSOLUTELY pull twinks at gay bars i know he would#ALSO. FOR THE RECORD. JUST TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE.#Smith does not hate Chip because Chip is gay#Smith hates Chip because Chip is RIPPED#and Smith has to puff his chest out and bark back whenever they interact#homophobia#just for blacklisting if needed
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Pallette nr 2 + your favorite childhood cartoon character!
thank you alex! i finally got the motivation to go back and finish this one up!
I'm cheating a little bit because I was fully in high school when this came out, but none of my other ideas were sparking joy so I went with it. Carmen Sandiego from the 2019 netflix reboot :) The palette ended up working great for her!
I really liked the show, my brother and I watched it together and we enjoyed how complex the story was (even though it was still going for the educational geography angle). And the style it's animated in was really pretty! I love the stylized way they always animate her coat blowing in the wind.
(prompt from this color palette challenge)
#stars art#ask game answers#color palette challenge#carmen sandiego#carmen sandiego netflix#fun fact i did dress up as her for halloween one year#as i got older my halloween costumes leaned more and more towards baby's first cosplay lol#i got a red hat and trench coat which i think i still have altho im sure neither of them fit me#i don't know if/when i will get to the other color palette asks but here's hoping!#im glad i got unstuck on this one i really like how it came out
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What astounds me about the whole "you need a pure human SOUL to perfect the serum" thing is that so many people take Chujin's conclusion at face value. Chujin Ketsukane? Chujin "Winner of the 'You Tried In Engineering' Award" Ketsukane? Chujin "Fumbled Inventing Robots So Hard He Earned The Ire Of The Usually Pretty Chill King" Ketsukane? Chujin "I Accidentally Killed A Human Child By Overshooting The Parameters On My Guard Robot" Ketsukane? That Chujin Ketsukane?
#undertale yellow#get reaaaaal.#get so reaaaaaaaal.#i know that people make his conclusion correct because they wanna bring Kanako back (even though she's not actually dead)#or something along those lines to make Ceroba's whole tunnel visioned scheme all feel worth it in the end#(even though her whole arc is about not being so caught up in the past and reaching out to the people around her)#but it doesn't feel right to me that the serum would work. it feels more like the point is that this whole affair was a harebrained#scheme cooked up by a paranoid and desperate man.#believe what you wanna believe but personally i don't think being pure of heart would've been the answer. i don't think#there's any way for a miracle serum to be conjured up like that.#also SOUL stuff has been shown to be more complicated than most people think. alphys thought that injecting determination#into Fallen Down monsters would make their SOULs persist after death and they ended up waking up then fusing into Amalgamates#tldr: i *personally* think that even if Ceroba got Clover's SOUL the serum still wouldn't have worked.#(edit: I'm not vagueing anyone btw. I've had this post in my drafts (along with a lot of other thoughts to spare everyone the spam)#again. think what you wanna think. these are just my thoughts.)#uty analysis
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+20 points for being hot but -10 points for being a James Wan hater
I think the first saw movie is absolutely phenomenal but it's not enough to make up for the rest of his horror filmography. Most of them are really bland and full of an excessive amount of jump scares.
I respect his contributions to the genre but I don't think he's kept up with where the genre is today
#Also I don't answer them all but Im genuinely so shocked when I get anons calling me out for not liking James Wan lol#I'm surprised he has so many fans still#I think he fucked up all his franchises#And none of them have held up past the first movie
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I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.
What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.
For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.
While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.
I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.
Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.
Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.
And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e110#cr spoilers#bells hells#ashton greymoore#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#yes this is my ass coming to the defense of Ashton again#not saying Matt hates Ashton but they don't half give them a short straw when they're seeking answers#Ashton and I are very different (*) but there are similarities I feel also very strongly about that I'm compelled to put my foot down on#(*I kinda expect they'd steal my wallet but then return it after seeing my donor card and tell me how to not make it so easy to steal)#this is not angrily targeting everyone - it's a culmination of things I've bit my tongue on that I disagree with#there will be people who don't like Ashton for valid and fair reasons a valid and fair amount - this is not against you#but the hate guys - the hate! It ruins my day seeing it let alone thinking about it#and 110 still had a lot of fun and interesting things going on in it that I'd rather focus on#I was not in a great mood already for having missed ANOTHER set of auroras last night#I've stared at this for half an hour in drafts between posting and deleting - if things get more bitter I'll definitely be deleting it#this is not put out to debate this is just pure shouting to the ether#and what I shout to the ether is that 'Ashton Greymoore deserves to feel loved'#it's out but it's not gone from my system it just won't boil over again for a bit - but I still don't like having these vents#I'd much rather rant about fun and good things that make me happy and are a comfort to me
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