#i still couldn't actually hold a job atm

[antirepurp]

oh dear i've been planning to apply to an artist alley with a friend but i did some quick and vague maths and like with the prices of the con tickets + table + the merch we're supposed to be selling im. kinda worried if i'll have the money for it actually oh dear?

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

WTF is going on in the UK? I looked in the tags but couldn't find any context :')

Hi Laks! I ask that question daily tbh-

As far as I can tell the reason that uk politics is trending is because Nadine Dorries finally resigned, basically as far as I know she's a Conservative MP who said she was gonna resign "with immediate effect" back in June (in protest for not getting a peerage, cause I think Boris Johnson promised her one but now rishi sunak won't give it to her lmao), but then she just... didn't resign?? For three months?? And she wasn't actually doing anything, like she wasn't really doing her job and they couldn't hold a re-election because she was technically still there so all her constituents were PISSED (saw one quote that said she was "as useful as a chocolate teapot" which I just love), so yesterday she finally resigned, 11 weeks after saying she would resign with immediate effect 💀

Also the reason that comic thing about train ticket offices is trending is because the train companies announced that they're gonna close down loads of ticket offices (making it way more difficult for ppl to get tickets, especially older people or people who don't have the necessary technology to jump through a million hoops etc), so ticket office closures is one of the things that the rail union want to be stopped as part of their requirements before they stop striking, cause they're on strike atm (I think it's the biggest rail strike we've had in decades?? Don't quote me on that tho I could be wrong)

Also another recent thing is that our PM Rishi Sunak "inadvertently" forgot to inform the necessary people that his wife has shares in a childcare business that he has decided the government will give a shit tonne of money too (he's "inadvertently" done this before, as if he needs it as well he and his wife are LOADED)

Basically everyone just wants Sunak and the tories out, this is our second unelected PM in a row, literally no one voted for him and everyone is super fed up

I assume the trending tag is what made you ask?? I hope that I have answered that somewhat coherently?? Cause tbh I was also surprised that the UK politics was trending usually that only happens when our prime minister is outlasted by a lettuce or smth yk 💀

[zeondraws]

I may be blind and have not tried to explore all the file locations in fmodel until now.

Found where the map textures are located, or for example all the people that died like Jamie, Kelly and all. I finally got a good look at Kelly!

This here be Kelly

Poor bastard

Okay, with this in mind I'll go through all folders in fmodel at some point, I have to see what else I can find. Found some unused/to be deleted folders which I found interesting

Hhmmm yes

So much work ahead, it really eats away my time, I've noticed, couldn't finish artworks recently. Mostly tried to work on that one AU drawing to have it almost done. But all this research eats my time which results in less time for art. Then I watch everyone else draw so much and I sit there thinking, man..

When I listen to soundfiles I can't draw at the same time since I need to stay focused on the sounds. However I managed to listen through 2k yesterday. I really really wanna be sure I have all the sounds for the Muir video, I literally found a different version of a perch howl yesterday! That one was not inside the actual Muir folder.

raaaah, the lore thickens. This could mean I can stumble upon other soundfiles from Muir that aren't in his Puppet folder. I only have... 16000 files to go through now. Number is getting smaller (I managed to listen to over 8.000 now).

If anyone ever wonders if I'll make a video of the soundfiles of other Puppets... maybe.. but I'd have to sort all these darn soundfiles from the Media folder. It's probably why people before me didn't bother at all. It took me over 2h and 30min to listen to 2000 files. Now calculate how much I need for 16000

Hhhmmm forbidden gummi, these are from Roper-

But hm, I currently want to finish that one artwork, then I need to sit down and draw something for a friend of mine for Secret Santa. Want to finish this Muir video before the year ends (I want to see it finished soooo badly). And maybe continue that super detailed Muir painting I had to put on hold, due to moving. The one I mean is shown on my pinned post here, that already took days to make and I'm not even halfway done with it. I want to see how far I can push my render skills atm.

Oh and draw a bunch of buses again, but on paper to get better with traditional art.

I always had problems managing my time (nothing new for me, so don't be confused if I do 6273728 things at once XD), tho I probably will figure out how to deal with this at some point. I always got yelled at, at my old workplace for taking too long on things, even tho my coworker kept giving me new tasks to work on so I couldn't finish the first thing he wanted, so he became more angry at me if I spend 3 weeks on something. Or spend 3 days on a task he usually finishes in 1 day, like. What? Like, he became soooo weird about it, that he tried to be angry about anythiiiing. And then he got confused when he heard what I told other coworkers in private. When he said that, I got flashbacks to my other uncle being angry that I told teachers how bad I felt mentally (at school). This is so confusing

I got praised for my work in the new job, which is wild that they don't expect me to work like a machine but to take my time. People aren't so focused on speed here.

So I don't know if my way of working on things is super bad, or if it's just dunno, big projects require so much energy and time. And then I watch everyone do so much art and I'm like waaaaiiit I wanna draw too Aaaaaaa. I wish I could eat art, because I frkn love art so much I shake my fists in the air whenever I see gorgeous artworks from others. Or see some absolutely stunning moviessssss.

I need to buy frames- I need to hang some drawings.

Okay Fellas, imma go tidy up my apartment and sort some stuff. I still have something to do in my bathroom.

busbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbbusbusbusbusbusbus

[donutsupremacy]

Cat-astrophe

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Summary

"When your frenemy Charlotte had discovered you were fired from Sumeru's news outlet and had moved to Fontaine to rid yourself of embarrassment, the pink haired female immediately dedicated an entire day to cheer you up. Little did you know, someone else would do a better job than her."

Warnings/Spoilers

Written during 4.1

100% Ooc moments

Flirting / Teasing

Love at first sight cliché trope

GN!Reader x Lyney

Reader is from Sumeru

Reader is NOT traveller

Reader has a cat (Mechanical cat if you're allergic to real cats)

100% Fluff this time

[C/N]= Cat's name

Shorter fic, kinda

Spoilers from Lyney's story quest (?)

Rizzing by yours truly

Reader may or may not have a vision (Irrelevant in the fic, it's up to your interpretation)

Reader needs a hat lol

Charlotte talks for like 6 paragraphs and magically disappears for another 30 paragraphs

A/N: This one's a little more random than the one I made for Thoma, but I couldn't resist not kaking a little oneshot for Lyney, he's precious ♡

I'm having semi-finals exams before my ACTUAL exams atm, so the SMAU is on hold until (Likely) 2024 January (This exams important) ;-;

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Your romance begins here

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"Here! Try this!"

You let out a startled noise when the pink haired female suddenly placed a giant hat on your head, it tilts downwards, obscuring your vision. "Uh... th-this feels... a little too big." You let out an awkward laugh as you took the hat off, admiring the fabric and it's designs, but it wasn't your taste.

Charlotte sighed, taking the hat back from you. "C'mon... you've worn that hat ever since you joined Sumeru's news outlet. Isn't it time for some change?" She inquired, scanning the shelves for a hat that suited your appearance.

You chuckled as you glanced outside, ensuring your feline companion was still waiting patiently outside, it's eyes gazing at you with curiosity. You let out a snort, waving at your companion who began pawing at the shop's window. You could hear it meowing for your attention.

"Ohh... how about this one?" Once again, a hat— much larger than the last, completely obscures your vision once more. You yelped, before lifting the comically large hat off your head, raising a brow at the ridiculous size. "No?" The pink haired girl frowned, before groaning as she took the hat away from you and went straight back to searching for another one.

"Charlotte, this isn't necessary. I like my hat..." You quipped as you watched her scan through the rack of hats, tracing little shapes on the ground with your foot, feeling a little bored. "...Plus, most of these hats are ridiculously huge."

You've been rivals with her ever since you first met while travelling to Fontaine for an interview regarding the disappearing cases with young women. After discovering you were part of a news outlet in Sumeru, the both of you hit off and became friends— rivals when it came to work.

But after learning that you were fired for accidentally handing in an incomplete assignment (Which, she thought was a horrible reason to fire you for, you rarely made mistakes in your job), you had moved to Fontaine with your cat to rid yourself from embarrasment and apply to work for the news outlet there with Charlotte, she was ecstatic.

But of course, despite your reassurance that you weren't too affected after getting fired, she still wanted to 'cheer you up'. Obviously, she just wanted to hang out with you.

Now, here you are— dragged to a hat boutique by the cryo-wielding female along with your cat, who thought the hat you wore during your time working at Sumeru's news outlet should be removed for no apparent reason.

"Nonsense! You've been wearing that hat ever since the birth of The Seven!— Oh! Maybe we can wear the same hats!" Charlotte chirped, holding up a hat similar to the one on her head.

Without letting you protest, she plops it down on your head, a perfect fit. You chuckled, about to take it off, but eventually lowered your hand, she looked like a child getting praised when you left the hat on you.

"Eh... I guess this one's pretty good. What do you think, [C/N]?" You asked rhetorically with a light chuckle, turning wround to face your companion behind the window's glass.

It's gone.

Panic immediately settles in as adrenaline slowly coursed through your blood, lowering the hand and handing back to Charlotte who also realized your feline companion was now gone. "[C/N]?... [C-C/N]!?"

You tossed the hat back to Charlotte and sprang out of the boutique, looking around frantically for your companion who had disappeared. "[C/N]!?" You exclaimed, ignoring the few confused and worried looks you received from the citizens nearby.

"[Name]! W-Wait!" You ignored Charlotte's words as you began to ran, looking for [C/N] who couldn't have wandered off too far— it was just waiting outside the boutique 2 minutes ago!

As you kept on running while calling out to your feline companion, you hear the sound of applause nearby, briefly netting your attention.

A crowd of people had gathered by the side of the road, clapping with excitement and joy in their eyes as a young male voice sounded in the middle. "Now, take a look inside my hat, everyone. See how there's nothing inside? Pay attention now... blink and you may miss it— voila!" Out comes three doves flying out from the crowd, causing the spectators to erupt into another round of applause.

The sound of the dove's wings flapping in the air grew softer as they flew away, the only sound that briefly caught your attention was the melodious laughter of the same young man's voice. "Adieu, little doves!... Ah? What's this?"

At first, you shook your head, you couldn't afford to lose your cat in a whole city and get distracted by some guy with a nice voice, you couldn't even see him.

Until you heard that familiar meow you've been hearing for several years. "Why, hello there, little one! I see you've been attracted by those doves."

Without a doubt, that meow belongs to your cat. You approached the crowd, slipping past the spectators and uttering out apologies. Your mind was focus on the meowing as the crowd quietly murmured about your panic-stricken expression, concerned about what made you so anxious. The voice continues to speak. "What are you reaching for?... Oh! This feather from the doves? Of course you may have it!"

There it is— your cat, excitedly pawing at a feather in the hands of a young man with pale skin and mesmerising violet eyes, his ash blond hair pulled back into a braided style, a tear shaped mark on his right cheek. He was kneeling down next to your cat, lightly waving the feather with an amused and calm smile, his twinkling with endearment.

"[C/N]!" You immediately called out, bringing his attention as his eyes travelled to meet yours. Your cat's ears perked up, turning to see you before letting out a meow and running to your side.

It loops your leg, gazing up at you as it tilts it's head to the side, looking as innocent as ever. "You scared me half to death..." You sighed out as you squatted down, carrying your feline companion into your arms before standing back up, now facing the charming young man in front of you.

"Such a playful companion you have there." He chuckled, holding the feather and bringing it close to your cat. It's ears twitched, pawing at the feather as you grew aware of all eyes still on you. "I can tell neither of you are from Fontaine— it's a pleasure to meet you Mx...?"

"[Name]. My name is [Name]."

"[Name]. Welcome to Fontaine!" He greets, giving you a polite bow as he removes his top hat, bringing it to his chest. He takes your hand into his, pressing a light peck on your knuckles.

Your face grew warm as you held your cat in one arm, it didn't help when you heard teasing giggles from the crowd behind you. You shook out of your embarrasment, giving him a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry to have bothered you, monsieur...?"

"Lyney. You may just call me Lyney, there's no need to be so formal around me. We're all friends here, are we not?" He quipped, straightening back once more as he placed his hat back on his head. "I'm a magician in Fontaine, it's a pleasure to have a foreigner attend my little magic show on the streets. Even if the tricks i'm using are rather plain and simple."

You remembered Charlotte talking about a pair of siblings in her letters that were known to be famous magicians, rambling on and on about wanting to get their interviews from certain performances. "Pleasure's all mine, Lyney." You hummed, your cat purring in agreement. "I hope my cat didn't disturb your show too much..."

"Nonsense— if anything, it gave quite the show to the audience as well." Lyney reassured, reaching behind the ear of your cat. "Besides... you cat's a helpful little fella." Out comes a small, gorgeous flower, a Rainbow Rose to be exact, it's soft and silky pastel pink petals shining under the sun.

The audience let out soft gasps, your eyes widening in surprise, looking down at your cat who's ears perked up, using it's hind legs to scratch the area where the flower was pulled from. That was rather impressive. "Allow me to present you with a magic trick." The magician chirped, holding out the Rainbow Rose in his hand. He clears his throat, taking a small step back and holding the flower up high, speaking in a clear and confident tone.

"Please pay attention to this Rainbow Rose in my hand, 3... 2... 1."

The small audience erupts with gasps.

It vanishes with a flick of a wrist, as if it was a mere illusion that could be washed away with a simple swish of a hand, his nimble gloved fingers barely giving anyone a chance to see where it went. For a magic trick so 'simple and plain', you were impressed and amazed at how clean he initiated these tricks.

You hear the audience behind you murmuring amongst themselves, impressed and waiting in anticipation, the young children amongst the crowd spewing out questions on the flower's whereabouts.

"A magician never reveals their secrets." The blonde male awnsered, winking at you. His grin widened upon seeing the blush on your face only grow brighter.

He snaps his fingers. "Now, I invite all of you to check your clothing."

You hear everyone scrambling to check their clothing, the sound of fabric ruffling against one another, followed by murmurs of either disappointment or confusion.

You raised a hand, feeling something soft nestled onto your upper clothing. "Ah?" You moved your gaze down to see the Rainbow rose that was previously on Lyney's hand— now reappearing on the collar of your clothing.

Your cat meows as it plays with the silky, colourful petals of the flower. You let out a soft gasp as you plucked the Rainbow Rose off your clothing, holding it in your palm as the audience gave another round of applause at the small, yet, impressive trick Lyney did.

Lyney let out a soft chuckle as it strings into your ear, like a lulling melody composed by a soft tune and a gentle voice. "Ah— there it is! It seems you might be classified as a thief in Fontaine— a cute one to be exact."

Your cheeks flushed a deep red at his words, it didn't help that he he didn't stop there. He used both hands to cup the bottom yours that held the rose, his violet eyes locked with yours as he gave you a cheeky smile.

That damned smile...

Oh how it made your heart flutter so effortlessly.

"Now that begs the question; did you steal that Rainbow Rose— or did you use it as a distraction to steal my heart instead?"

"P-Pardon?" You stammered over your words, and he did not stop there.

"Now, that sort of crime earns you a place in the Meropide of Foretress— but even that place wouldn't dare house a bed for you, you're just far too cute and precious to be declared guilty in the first place." He chirped, using his free hand to take the rose away from your hands and going behind his back. With his other hand still holding the bottom yours, he tilts it, planting a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Getting flirted in public by a charming young magician whom you had just met mere minutes ago while surrounded by a small audience was not what you expected after moving to Fontaine.

He lets out a hearty chuckle, his shoulders shaking lightly as the audience cooed at your flustered reaction, the rosy hue on your cheeks only flushing a brighter shade. What a... charming, yet, mischievous young man.

"A-Ah, uhm..." Your gaze diverts from his, rubbing the back of your nape with a free hand as you held your feline companion in your other hand— unsure of how to reply as your eyes subtly dart around the audience faces. Did this embarrassing little moment have to be carried out in public?

Sensing your slight discomfort, the corner of his cheeky grin falters, giving you a soft and apologetic smile for putting you on the spotlight for too long. "Well, that reminds me of another small trick!— Would you like to see another one? I call this..."

[Timeskip]

"Oh, thank the Archons— I've found you!" Charlotte's voice sounded from nearby, followed by the sound of boots rapidly clicking against the concrete pavement you stood next to while chatting with Lyney.

You turned around, almost dropping your cat when the pink haired female suddenly wrapped her arms around your torso. You yelped, your cat letting out a panicked meow as it leaps out of your arms as you were tackled to the ground, the pink haired female proceeding to lecture you for running off.

"Are you insane? You had me worried to death!" Charlotte huffs, narrowing her eyes as her brows furrowed with disappointment. "Do you have any idea on how huge the city of Fontaine is?— You could have stumbled upon something or someone dangerous, and I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for you! Just because the serial disappearances have stopped, doesn't mean you can just meander around all over the place without telling me!"

As you could only give her a sheepish smile and guiltily nod along to her lecturing, Lyney gently scooped your cat into his arms, he cooed quietly to your feline friend. "Your owner seems to be in a pickle, wouldn't you agree, [C/N]?"

You companion meows in response, it's nose twitching with curiosity as it lifts a paw to bat at Lyney's hat— a black cat's head with peculiar eyes and a sharp toothy grin emerging from beneath, gazing down at [C/N].

Your eyes averted from Charlotte to Lyney, watching as he handles two cats communicating with eachother through meows and occasionally gently batting eachother with their paws. He grins at their endearing curiosity, holding your companion with one hand and the other struggling to keep his hat in place.

The sound of Charlotte's yapping was muffled in your ears, your lips quirking into a fond smile, watching your curious companion having fun while the young magician was pampering it.

His eyes met yours, a calm, yet, cheeky smile appearing on his features, pale skin tinted in a faint rosy hue when you caught him in this little predicament. You were in no diffrent situation yourself.

He chuckled, his attention returning to the two cats playing with eachother, his voice reaching your ears and causing your heart to melt.

"...So, only a few days in Fontaine and you've already found yourself a crush, I see?"

Charlotte whispered close to your eyes, a brow raised as she watched the way your face flared up a bright shade of red, you leaned away from her and began stammering over your words while frantically wavings your hands, denying her words.

"H-Hey! That's not what this is all about!" You managed to stutter out, but the cryo-wielding female only scoffed at your denial.

"Come now, [Name]— I'm no detective, but you're giving heart eyes to Lyney! I could be blindfolded and see how you've fallen head over heels for him!... Hey... wait..." She trails off, her teal eyes suddenly sparkling with what seemed like inspiration and excitement.

You were about to call her name, thinking she might've fallen into some sort of trance— when you were met with Monsieur Verite, her camera, shoved into your face.

"Tell me, [Name]— Are you perhaps planning to court the young magician, Lyney? What are your methods? How will you react if he rejects or accepts you? Will you plan to—"

One question after another, she sends a barrage of ridiculous questions your way while keeping your face in shot of her camera. Was this really how Charlotte interviews people in Fontaine?

You're somewhat impressed and proud of her persistence... and slightly disappointed in this method at the same time.

"Come on! Just treat this as a sort of collab between co-workers! I'll share our pay in half! Just awnser a few words, please?" While you're busy trying to move out of the frame, she contonues directing the camera at you, determined to get a scoop about a foreigner and the famous magician's love life.

"...Well, I can't say I hadn't forseen Charlotte trying to strike up another scoop related to me, even if [Name] isn't my significant other..." Lyney quietly laughed under his breath, the cat underneath his hat and yours watching his reaction carefully. He winks at them, a small but genuine smile donning his face as he gazed back at you, eyes full of amusement and adoration.

"...Yet."

[king-of-vertigo]

fuck it. I am sick of having so much oc lore and having it just sit in my brain. so. ((plus I'm pretty busy with art fight atm, I'll be posting attacks soonish?))

time to ramble about toni.

btw, he is on art fight if you wanna draw him >:DD

I put some of the stuff here on his pfp already, but I'm gonna go more in depth. read if you like, ramble is under the cut + a smidge of backstory/headcanons for a couple canon characters <33

I'll start off with a silly fun fact. I made him before I got the second bendy novel where there was a mention of a Mr. Russo. completely unplanned and sheer coincidence-- but it inspired a lot of his lore.

family originates from Italy, it was his grandparents who moved to New York. however, his father was the one to properly find quite well paying work. it was because of that work that Toni was born to a decently well-off family that already had ties in the entertainment industry.

Rodolfo, his dad, often helped direct productions trying to get off the ground, and though he's given up a role in the director seat in more recent times, he still helps financially back certain projects in the industry. a somewhat short-tempered, traditional, and blunt man. not fond of pleasantries unless they're strictly needed, in which case-- he can be quite charming. or at least charming enough. Rodolfo has very high expectations for his son, and found the whole cartoon thing quite childish-- until he realized how much money could be made. he doesn't consider it in the same league as actual movies, and Toni isn't saved from the snarky comments when he comes over for dinner-- but the job pays well enough.

Antonio's mother has been out of the picture for some time now, becoming very sick when Toni was very young-- he doesn't remember much about her, and his dad is quite cagey when discussing the subject. Toni's made peace with it, even if he sometimes mourns the relationship there could have been.

there was still a motherly figure in his life growing up, though. and that came in the form of his aunt, Clara. though she is incredibly kind, make no mistake, she can be fierce when needed. growing up with a brother like Rodolfo, she learned how to push back against loud personalities. Clara is sweet, but honest. she'll comfort and soothe, while also holding whoever accountable. one of Antonio's most trusted confidants, only coming second to Clara's daughter and his cousin, Isabella.

Isabella, while only being his cousin, is loved like a sister. she's a constant source of stability in his life, though as an up and coming actress she can be a bit dramatic. they're a duo, the one who loves the spotlight, and the one who would rather stay behind the scenes. they were joined at the hip as kids, and while both are now busy working adults-- they still find time for each other. Isabella does her best to get Toni out of his shell, and has provided a huge boost in confidence the last few years. she's incredibly quick witted, cheeky, social, and just generally a gem of a human to be around.

Antonio has always been a bit on the quieter side, so as his fascination with movies and cartoons matured, he became really interested in the work that happened off the big screen. specifically in sound effects. how objects were used to make noises for completely different sounding things. him trying to break into such a specific part of the entertainment industry lined up perfectly with Joey expanding his Music Department, though a couple more stars had aligned before to lay the groundwork.

he'd been a fan of Sammy and Jack's shows for at least a year by this point, even if Toni himself wasn't entirely musically or vocally inclined-- there was something so charming about the pair that he couldn't resist. and seeing as they were often hired to play at ritzier parties, Antonio could see them perform on a mildly consistent schedule if he could get himself invited by the right people. of course, his family wasn't infamous by any means, and Toni hated to throw around his last name as leverage... but in this case-- it was a guilty pleasure, and did no real harm to anyone. plus, his family was happy to see him get out more.

the way Antonio ends up getting hired on is-- still in the works. but the idea I'm probably going to go with is this: while Sammy was given full control on who was hired in his department, the people he knew were all very-- refined artists. classical folks. people who performed for the sake of the art, and not for movies and such. Jack had a better hand in it, as I imagine he tried to get a start in comedy, which didn't end up going anywhere. one way or another the name 'Antonio Russo' travels down the grapevine. Sammy is a very critical man, very hard to please. Toni probably still doesn't know what earned him a spot in the studio's employ-- but he's so thankful for it regardless.

I'll maybe make another post about his inky arc, because that's it's own can of worms-- regardless, I'll probably add little pics of his family as I make references for them.

but now-- sleep. cause I am tired. if you read all this, thank you. it means a lot :DD

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Two days back, Chris did a twitch stream in which he answered fans' questions both in English and in German. So this is yet another translation / summary of all the nice things Chris has to say. It's gonna be way shorter than the Saltatio Mortis podcast, both because I took the notes simultaneously to doing uni work, so I probably didn't catch everything that might be interesting, and because for some answers I couldn't remember in retrospective if he gave them in German or in English, and I didn't want to spam you with info that you might have already heard yourself :D

So, here we go:

when comparing their own smaller concerts with big Iron Maiden performances: "To play in a small club in England in front of 500 people that all know you, that's like going to a small family gathering with family members that you see every day anyway. To play with Iron Maiden in front of 20,000 people is like visiting a huge wedding celebration, where you might know 20 people but the other 200 you have never seen before even though you're related to them, so you first gotta introduce yourself." (just loved the analogy here :D)

about the next record: At the end of the year, a full cover album is gonna be released that will style-wise stay similar to the B&G era, and apparently the 15 years anniversary tour next year will also keep that style. After that, however, Chris said that the only logical consequence for them, after all this brightness and colour, was to go into the complete opposite direction. So the next (proper) record will be the darkest album that they have done so far (with 'dark' not necessarily meaning 'hard', so it's not gonna be Death Metal, but it will in fact keep parts of the current 80s vibe). There is some concept that is already planned out, but it's not a religious one, nor a mythological one. The theme will be rather dark-romantic, dealing with our human emotional abysses.

Someone commented: "On pictures you seem quite photogenic", to which Chris jokingly replied that this were his big secret: He's not really photogenic, but he's good at seeming that way. The question continued with asking if he had ever modelled or been asked to model, and he gave some interesting reply. In fact, Chris has been asked for various model jobs in the past, but he always refused. He said that he would generally be up for the idea, but if he does promote a product / a company with his face, he has to be able to fully stand behind it. Sometimes it might not have been the choice of clothing etc. that he would personally like, but in most cases the decision was due to the company that he could not support, for example if the clothes were produced under unethical conditions. He also mentions that he had had a request for some allergy meds recently, that he actually would have liked to do (as someone who struggles with allergies himself), but the pharma trust responsible for that product worked with animal testing, so again, he refused.

he made a joke about Klaas being so small that he would actually be standing below the camera in that moment, holding up signs with jokes for Chris to read :D

about the decision for B&G for the ESC instead of One Last Song and The Curtain Falls that were also on the shortlist: With both songs the main problem was that they wouldn't have managed to produce a qualitative music video in time. OLS was also too long, and Chris didn't feel good with any parts being cut, while TCF was still kind of in the production phase. B&G had the full package: it is catchy and recognisable, has a good message, a provocative song title that also reflects the bands different sides, there was a music video and even a whole album of the same name.

someone prompts the idea of a calendar with all of the beautiful pics that Lennard is taking, and Chris likes the idea and actually writes it down! (thinking about 2 group pictures + 1 for the cover and 2 x 5 portrait shots)

he likes the pink hair colour atm (even if it was actually supposed to be red), and thinks about bleeching it platinum again later this month, while still keeping half the hair pink (I think we would all love to see that ;D)

about never playing Not My Enemy: Chris says he is kinda scared to play it live. He wrote the song shortly after the start of the war against the Ukraine, so the meaning is very important to it. He would not want to play it at a festival or at any other place where most people don't know the song and the lyrics, and might even start moshing to it. If it were at a full LOTL show where most people know the song and can feel the meaning, then maybe, but generally it gives him physical pain to even think about performing it live.

and finally about collaborations with other ESC artists: What Chris can confirm is that there will be songs written together with La Zarra (as soon as they find the time). Besides that, there is also another collab that is already underway, but Chris does not yet want to give away with whom

Alright, that's all of my notes. If I missed anything that you are interested in, or you want a full translation of any part, as always, feel free to hit me up :)

[chevvy-yates]

WIP Wednesday

Been tagged by @morganlefaye79 thx! <3

I tag: @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @itzsassha, @medtech-mara, @therealnightcity, @humberg, @pinkyjulien, @hydrasshole @kharonion and @elvenbeard as always: no pressure!

— VP

No plans atm other than preparing and thinking about sth for Arki as his birthday follows up next. Also promised I'll take some pics of Enzo and Jay as i couldn't make it in time for Enzo's bday. So I don't have much to add other than what I sneak-peaked last week that will be posted when I feel ready to push the button in my drafts (some pics are already months old again …). All other VP ideas are on hold as I still would liketo play the game a bit longer and only do random pics in between — but I need to solve first my problem I have with Thyjs' save data that is crashing when wanting to watch the deathshead BD in Judy's van. I want to look into it on the weekend because before I hop back into my bigger VP ideas I plan to get every oc into Phantom Liberty start and have them skilled a bit because that also motivates me to actually play the game from time to time and helps me to describe their fight style in the rp story. If I can't solve it I'll try Vijay next and see if he crashes too at the same point or not as I remember he's not far away from the Scav mission either. Then last I can try is Jay but he needs to get through the entire prologue first which will take me a weekend as well.

FIC/STORY/RP

Once I get Vijay's npv, @nervouswizardcycle and I can finally start taking story pics as well, though I believe she might just wait until she gets her new pc for that. I have overworked "The Golden Demon of Kabuki" text some months ago so it is a better readable fic now. I will place it into layout as soon as the needed pics are done. Then I'll see what happens next. Probably try and get ch2 ready.

I've said enough now, let's give you another snip-bit:

CORPO PARTY RP SNIPPET (my part only):

He noticed that Vijay says something Ry can’t concentrate on since he’s busy staring the redhead down and trying to see through him, but sees V starts walking and so he follows. They walked a bit further away leaving the red-haired man alone, Vijay pleased to stay and wait until they would come back to him. Once they were far away enough, Ryder turns around and raises his voice with a certain gnarl in his undertone “I leave you alone for almost an hour and you take the next best chance to shove your tongue down the throat of one of those Corporats?!” “Ry—” Vijay starts but Ryder is not done and so he hisses dangerously. “ON A JOB!? — Seriously V!” Scharfenberg shifts his weight to one leg, breathes audibly through his nostrils, crosses his arms and waits for V’s explanation.

Somehow Steyr finds it funny because he knows Ryder exaggerates it as always. Nonetheless Vijay feels a bit embarrassed as well because he knows Ry is also right. He should behave in a certain manner here but he is bad at being a Corpo. “Calm down man — Part of the job now,” V answers and gives him a stupid smirk. “You weren’t in reach. Had to escape from that escort chick otherwise I’d have blown cover. Unlike you I dunno how to friggin’ corpo. Dunno how to even pronounce my fuckin’ fake name either. Stainback von Kra– Krawnee–” “Steinbach von Kranichstein!” Ryder repeats fast in exasperation. 

They’ve practiced it a few times before and V still wasn’t able to pronounce it right. “Yeah whatever!” Vijay gestures with his hands. “But uh— Arki happened to—” “Oh, it’s ‘Arki’ already?!” “—chill a few feet away from me, so I took the chance to escape and, yeah — he’s my fiancé in disguise now as long as we are on the job here. He’s the dude from the Afterlife weeks ago, ‘member? Could help us out on this.” Ryder raises both eyebrows, his mouth opens a bit and he feels how Beast wants him to yell at V yet he -tries- to stay the calmest he can be. “Afterlife red haired rando? Supposed demon — your fiancé?! Alter Vadder! Tell me this is a joke!?” Ryder throws both hands in the air and makes a few steps as if he wants to walk away now and curses further in German “Ich glaub, ich bin im falschen FIlm!” He wasn’t in the wrong movie, though. “Chill, bro. I’ve got it under control. All good,” Steyr tries to calm his friend. “V, you know he’s a—” Scharfenberg starts but stops abruptly as he realizes something now that doesn’t make much sense to him. Wait. Afterlife merc rando— a true Corporate? How’s that fitting in? “He’s what?” V raises an eyebrow at that. “Forget it!“ “M‘Kay, if y’say so.” V crosses his arms, not satisfied about Ry’s answer.

“Just don’t like to get into a fucking mess,V!” Scharfenberg spits his sentence out rather inappropriately. Judging by V’s face however Ry notices it is meant seriously, so he facepalms with an angry growl as Beast already tells him to just flip the switch, turn around and kill some of those poor dancing souls behind him. “I’m not riding us into a mess. I bet he can help us to klep the info we here for.” Ryder gets immensely fidgety, looking into every direction trying to ignore the voice as best as he can. He fiddles out a menthol cigarette, lights it up and takes a few long puffs inhaling it deeply into his lungs as he walks up and down glad that Vijay waits until he’s done. The least V could use was having Ryder in a critical state on this job, so V gives his best mate time to clear his mind.

“Fine— But we’re not done talking about this!” Ryder states as he throws the smoked up stub on the bottom to rather aggressively put it out with his double varnished fine shoe. He doesn’t look amused about the fact that his best friend obviously seemed to know this dude named Arki already better than he thought. Steyr must have kept this info from him for whatever reason and he doesn’t like it at all. But since it is not part of the job right now, he accepts this now changed situation. So he takes another deep breath and says under gritted teeth “Let's get back to your new flame then, see if he can be of help as you predict and brief him.” Vijay gives him a thankful gaze. He knows it’s not easy for Ry to control but he managed well enough not to raise any suspicion and V does feel guilty too for not telling Ry he knows Arki already better than he might think. They would discuss it later. But now back to business. So they walked back to the redhead who was awaiting them back where they left him, enjoying a cigarette.

[100shark]

🪷🏵️🌺 :D

🪷 What's your self-insert or F/O like? Do you think they'd be seen as naturally compatible?

My s/o is me but I'm keeping some bad habits I used to have

My s/i pushing people away out of fear of getting close already screams not compatible. The immediate response to interaction with others is getting hostile. They self isolate and break contact/avoid with others as soon as the other person felt like a threat. She's very doubtful of others and is self reserved. And pretty much a recluse for a good while. Those characteristics aren't as evident anymore but masking everything with anger is still an issue. Once meetings Reigen, it definitely helped put down the shield to "protect" himself from others. They're more affectionate with Reigen once together but dislikes pda. Also she's a shape-shifter and hated those powers. It's part of their trans lore here but I'll save that for another time.☝️

Reigen on the other hand, he's more of a guy to hide his feelings than to let others see him in another light. But he seeks for others and for others to need him the same way he needs others. Which for that reason, he has some sort of abandonment issues tbh. (He couldn't handle his emotional support kid having other friends and ended up projecting onto him revealing he quite literally thinks he'd end up alone again if mob has other people that "would distract him from his job") (SEPARATION ARC AUHSUSGHH (T_T))

Regardless about how he lies on how he gets the job done, he still does mean to help his clients no matter the issue. Since he's good at reading people, he wanted to help s/I. Like for Reigen, it was a "I can fix him" kind of thing (and he did) JAHSJDX Reigen doesn't mind pda but doesn't like/gets flustered when getting caught while thinking it was just us. He'll usually be the one who gets courage to display small pda like hand holding or small teasing but gets caught off guard when I initiate it.

At first glance, they don't seen compatible at all but due to both actually seeking special connections and how they eventually got closer, they realized they weren't all that different despite how they present on the outside.

🏵️ How did your ship meet? What were their first impressions?

OK SO THIS I HAVENT FULLY DECIDED ON THIS TBH.... I mentioned it before but Ekurei was the blueprint of our dynamic so it started similar. Obviously, I changed a bunch of stuff later on. I also can't decide between meeting around season 1 or 2. But I had always made it their first impressions be anything but fond at first. Reigen being the life-changing man he is, he persistently attempts to help s/I but her stubborn and trust-issued brain thinks it's just pity and wasn't used to help being offered until giving in to more frequent visits to his office out of scheduled consultations.

🌺Are there any other characters that are very relevant to your self-insert or F/O story-wise?

Yes and no. Yes because I've decided that Ekubo and s/I have a moment where he reveals or implies that their presence is something Reigen enjoys more than just a client. We're basically turning into friends and Dimple just felt Reigen being different with me. Reigen feeling embarrassed of that conclusion is kind of like "W-what? NO what are you taking about?! That would be very unprofessional of me. Why would I think of him like that? It's just a different approach to help" While sweating like nervous. Like we're both in somewhat denial even though we're clearly getting closer AJSHKSJHS. And no because he's also more of a character that sees two people do nothing to confess. The slow burn is real ( ﾟεﾟ；)

OOKOKOKOKK I THINK THATS ALL I HAD IN MIND ATM

[delmege]

.

BECAUSE I feel like I am constantly in a 'deciding what to do with my life' position and that I keep making the wrong decisions. because if I made the right ones, surely I wouldn't still be trying to decide?

it might be a grass is always greener thing. because that's a depression thing, too, in that i can tell myself if I do X, then I'll be happpier when actually, I will still be depressed. I am going to look into therapy; I really am. I want to. but it's hard to give a shit when you don't actually give a shit about yourself, y'know?

i think i've been trying to tell myself that I want to quit my job and do this degree because it will give me clarity for four years. for four years, i won't have to face this problem again because I'll be doing the degree. but then the degree will end and I'll be having to make a decision and it will possibly be an even harder one because I'll have been out of the workforce for four years, because I'll be that much older, because I won't have a house anymore and will have that much less money and yes, I know that that's a situatio plenty of 36-year-olds are in but it scares the shit out of me

and I know, I know, do it scared, do it anyway, blah blah blah but everything scares me so it doesn't actually help me make a decision. none of the options appeal because I just straight up want a different life -- even though, no, of course I'm not doing the things I should be in order to get to that different life!

I don't have to move! I could probably get it right here! I just have to DO things! I have to START stuff, join clubs, GO to the fucking office when I'm supposed to and see people. horror of horrors do the fucking dating apps again -- or, realistically, like, at all because when have I ever used them properly?

I remember being 21 and writing about I felt like I was decaying because my life was just going on and I was doing nothing about it but sitting in my parents' house and staying up too late and being depressed and now here I am, 31 and in my own house this tim ebut staying up too late and being depressed and not having a clue what to do and feeling like I'm wasting my life because I'm not making the most of it because i'm TOO FUCKING SCARED

I didn't used to be. Bitch, I flew to Australia by myself, after the worst year of my life, to try to live there for a year. I moved to Wolverhampton to do an apprenticeship in baking even though I didn't know anyone there. I dropped out of university twice to try to find the thing I wanted to do. I've done scary stuff

the problem is that none of that shit worked out for me. I was so scarred and so mentally ill that despite getting TWO jobs in Australia, I couldn't do either of them and I went home after two months, admitting complete defeat. the apprenticeship turned into the worst year of my life when my disordered eating completely took hold and i started self-harming. dropping out of uni, well, that was mental health shit too, I just didn't understand it.

every decision I have made has felt wrong. I have NO idea how to find direction in my life because all the directions I want to go in require me to have a gazillion pounds already OR to live life in poverty and I can't do that.

constantly coming back to the quetsion of like... how the fuck do people live? no, seriously.

I mean, I do actually know. because if I had a full life outside of work, I probably wouldn't be this miserable; I probably wouldn't be this desperate to make a drastic change. I'm just lonely and alone and I spend too much time by myself because I don't have friends here anymore (and let's not get onto THAT topic because I am feeling INCREDIBLY sensitive atm about being left out and friends not talking to me etc).

I know I have to make changes. I know I have to do that. I started exercising and then that went to hell because my back is still fucked. I have emailed a woman about piano lessons. I'm going to find that therapist I emailed months ago and actually reply to her. I know I can fix some stuff, if not all of it. I know that I have to be the one to do it. I know that. I do. Nothing is going to come along and just fix my life, not even really if I won the lottery; it would make shit a HELL of a lot easier but I'd still have work to do

I know it's never too late and I'm still young and there's still time but every day there is a little LESS time and I dread being 40 and looking back on my thirties in the same way that I look back on my twenties now.

I should probably start doing morning pages again. maybe I will. that will give me something to do in the morning to get out of bed for that isn't my job. it would be a good place to put all of this shit.

I know I should go to bed. absolutely. objectively. idk i probably wont though, not tonight. i'm sick of being in bed. i'm sick of having to force myself to get OUT of bed. I start my day, every single day, doing the thing I hate the most. every day starts badly because it starts with getting out of bed. and boy what a sad, pathetic sentence.

anyway i'm off to cry now

[factorialsfandoms]

So the pics may not be done for a lil while because I've literally never draw Time, Twi, or Wars (apparently I can't draw a lot of armour or fur well) so I'll have to look at their ref sheets and practice etc before I start their stuff, but for now have some ideas I did this morning.

Favourite one atm is Time because of the despair but also because I like to imagine he wrapped Hyrule in Sky's sailcloth so no one can see his corpse. Also because I don't wanna draw Hyrule in that specific pose tbh.

Okay, first of all, I love these and thank you so so much for sharing your sketches. Armour and fur tricky but I appreciate you so much. (And also yeah how the fuck do bodies work?!?!?!)

I honestly love the idea that the sailcloth was used to wrap him. I might steal that, if you're good with it? It's not like Legend would have really registered it at the time anyway. It would be such an awful show of love and affection, and I think Sun would understand. At the very least Sky believes she would. It was already a bit bloody from hugging Legend, so... It's probably the one item they'll bother to at least try washing the blood out of, but honestly... Just the idea of it is in my brain and making me a bit sad. They're trying their very best to love him, even if he's dead...

Now to gush about individual little doodles! Top left first, going like reading order. I'll try make it clear. Cut because... words.

Hyrule, Hyrule, poor boy. I know I'm the one who did this to him, but your little sketch is almost painful to look at. The way the one arm is out, almost like he's trying to reach but at the odd angle that looks like it's broken (he certainly couldn't have moved it out after he fell, but it falling to look like he's reaching? To just raise the hand slightly towards Legend? Oh that's heartbreaking and tasty). The other arm over the wound? Almost like he was trying to put pressure on it, to keep the blood inside, but his body is just caved away, there's no way he can? So its just lying in the gore of his wound? That's horrible in such a wonderful way. The mess of his everything - his face, his arms, his clothes, his hair - the massive dip where the bomb stole his flesh. And of course above all else the way his eye is still open and clear, looking out and straight at the person viewing? (At Legend) I can't quite describe it but his whole expression is just... Wonderful. But in a very horrible way. I would like to cup his cheek and somehow take the pain away, but I can't...

Injury map! Those are always fun. You did a real good job at translating what I said into actual physical things. The extent of the damage and everything... I know its probably just a little reference for you, but your choices in mapping it out are... not delightful, because horrifying, but something like that.

Then there is Hyrule and Legend, and /oh/. You may have swapped eyes, but that makes Hyrule look away, which really does hurt something more. Is this just after he died and Legend had just realised? It's make sense, given Wars folded the arm back over him and, well, that's where it is. And the more distant. Its just a scribble, but the awkward angles Hyrule is lying at... And then there's Legend. I can't see his face, I can't see any of him, but he's right there. I can see the tension in his shoulders, and cannot imagine him anything but shaking with sobs, either expressed or held in. The desperation, the way he's still clinging to one of Hyrule's hands... Those poor, poor boys. The both of them.

Then we have Warriors and Wind and Four and... Well, with their backs to us you can see how Warriors is holding them so tight, trying to protect them from the same fate no doubt. Wind's right at the back so it looks like he's trying to press into the hold and get comfort, while Four is trying to stay upright and strong and not need it, but those crossed arms say so much that he does. Warriors staying tall and alert, pressing their two youngest on so they don't have to look, taking point also to ignore his own grief to keep everyone /else/ safe. How tall he is, like he can't bring himself to crack.

And Time, Time, oh Time... I've mentioned the sailcloth thing above, but I still adore it. It's horrifying to use the sailcloth as a shroud, but its probably all they had to hand. Except their blankets, but most of them need those and, well... Hyrule's aren't really the best. And they want something kinder to wrap him in than those. But Time, poor Time, you did really good at displaying the sheer agony at finding the fairies too late, when Hyrule was too far gone for even a clutter of them to save. The way he's grasping his face with the agony, but still using the weight of his body and face to keep Hyrule's corpse safe in his arms, safe as he wishes he had kept him in life. The hand clutching the sailcloth, desperate and so very not okay... I love it so much, but ow... And then the little fairies! Shocked and upset with their little "!"s, desperate to help but there's nothing they can do. Time hunched in on himself, the agony, the pain... Then trying to help but there's simply nothing they can do. Time called for them so desperately, but they arrived too late, and that broke him. Hyrule could not have lived the extra few minutes it took, it just wasn't possible, but if he'd only looked better, been better, fought harder... And he failed his command, and you tied all of it all in so well. Also! Just the side not of the way Hyrule's feet are just... dangling there. Far enough from his chest they're probably bloody, but his boots and his feet one of the few bits entirely intact, and they're all of him you can see...

And then finally, Twi and Wild... Oh, oh this, all of them hurt and it doesn't hurt the most but just... There's not a whole lot to say about Twi. But Wild! The way he's clinging to Twi's hand on his shoulder, surely there to guide him as he's still struggling with the world. His head bowed, utterly despondent... He was saved, but at what cost? his other arm hanging limp, not knowing what to do, just... Walking. Clinging to Twilight and walking. Actually no with Twilight... Such a gentle arm around Wild's shoulder, keeping him from being separated but a quiet comfort all the same. He's grieving too, but for Wild for whom the hit was taken? He's doing his best to protect the scoundrel, just like Wars with Four and Wind, but different now. The two small ones seemed scared and desperately trying to hold it together, but Wild... Wild looks like he's just given up... The only people who look worse are probably Hyrule and Legend, and... Well...We know how that went. We can't see either at the moment in your doodles, but... Horrific times. So bad. And we know why Wild looks so bad! Why they all do! But oh it hurts.

And that brings me to the end of the rambling. I hope the rambles were all okay. May you have a lovely day, and so on and so forth, and my deepest thanks to you.

[cadopan]

I read your thoughts on our Arsenal girls and maybe I'm a bit over optimistic but I actually feel like they played pretty decent (at least the starting 3, Leah wasn't as impactful this game) considering the opponent. In fact, I feel like they played better than expected.

Think it's clear that Ellen White is a bit out her depth now. Beth send a few brilliant crosses and passes to her that she just could not manage at all! I was particularly annoyed by that long pass up right to Ellen where for a couple of secs it was just her and the keeper but she was too slow and the Spain defenders brought her down. Would have been a sure goal for a better striker (and a neat assist for Beth). She's still solidly on form and very reliable for both club and country at the moment.

Do you think Russo is going to be able to get up to a level that is Euros standard in time? She was not super effective against Germany during the last match. Problem with the England set up is that they don't see to have that many no 9 striker options.

Jords seemed to be slowly developing in that game, unfortunately she was taken off a bit earlier than I would have liked. Even Emma Hayes said that at one point, she was reminiscent of her old form which is really encouraging. Jord x Beth link up was strong at points (Emma: "certainly good play from the Arsenal pairing") so I hope they bring that form back to London and Jonas plays them together more.

Sidenote: A few funny Alexia-Beth moments though, including when Beth had a late but actually pretty mild tackle on her ex-gf best friend Hermoso which earned her a yellow, and Alexia had her hands out annoyed, and Beth immediately said sorry to HER (not Hermoso lol). Weirdly, it reminded me of the time when Beth got that terrible challenge and her gf teammate Daan held her hands out exactly the same way and then shoved the ref.

Nice thoughts! A lot more detailed and well-put than mine haha, I was probably a bit too haphazard with my earlier answer there 😅

My response is equally quite long so I'll put it under the cut:

Well I guess it's true that they did a serviceable job against an opponent like Spain (whom I staunchly rate highly, despite some people turning their backs on them now)... but when I look at the overview of the match, and in comparison to how other England players did, they didn't impress or make their presence felt as they better could have. If you get what I mean?

As your examples say, Beth was definitely the standout among the Arsenal players. You didn't have to look for her amidst play, and she was constantly involved. Yeah, that through ball which split the Spanish CBs from her was beautiful but Ellen White was basically being bossed by Mapi all game or tripping herself up with offsides so a lot of their attacks (and work done by Beth) died when it got to her 😕

Yeah, not just Russo but Toone and to an extent Stanway as well have looked out of their depth over the past two games. The only one out of the crop of youngsters that seems to be holding her ground (and excelling too) is, unsurprisingly, Lauren Hemp lol. I mean, she's just an exceptional case and the rest is quite expected, it seemed like they got hit by the faster tempo levels of the game when playing at a higher level like this. Usually couldn't sort their feet out in time, and even when they did, the decisions they made were kinda poor and panicked ones.

I feel like Ellen White still has it in her to be starting striker for one more major tournament (can't comment on the WC next year yet), and does have a knack for showing up in clutch moments even when she's barely had a whiff of the ball all game. She just hasn't had a particularly good run with City this season and is lacking that sharpness to her play atm. I actually wonder why Sarina won't try Keets in the CF position, cause she definitely has the most pace out of all the current options and is floundering a bit on the wings so she might get a new lease of life there.

I didn't want to be too critical of Jordan (cause I'm always wishing for her to do well) but yesterday really felt like a missed opportunity for her. It was a chance to shine in that midfield, given she wasn't starting with the lynchpin duo of Walsh-Williamson that usually controls everything there, but she was largely absent until she came alive for like two moments in the second half. I have to say, it wasn't for lack of trying though. Her movement was good and I recall repeated attempts where she darted into good spaces but the ball just wouldn't find its way to her :/ But one more thing is her role in the middle trio that's kinda up in the air right now... you have clear identities such as the double W duo that's that effective pairing at the base of MF, Jill Scott establishing herself as a competent Alexia hunter and ball-winner (with her long limby physique), Stanway who is simply out to injure everyone in sight, etc etc. So Jordan needs to find a way to get her thing figured out asap and impactfully. Which I assume is chance creation and goal threat from her long range striking ability, none of which were on display yesterday.

Oh and lastly, I agree, those Beth v Alexia lowkey "I want to punch you" moments were the highlights of the game lmao. Yea it's funny, I wonder if players kinda think about that when interacting with opponents mid-game since in the woso world there's a lot more inter-dating and relationships all over the place haha. Like "oh no I just hurt your bae, but wait... if you guys broke up and are on bad terms maybe it was a good thing?" (not specifically referring to Alexia/Jenni's case, just a hypothetical example)

[baka-monarch]

Alrighty! *Slams hands on a desk*

You see this?! *Gestures to the oh so wonderful Music Tubbox au*

It's... it's beautiful.

I have some questions about it that I'd like to hear your thoughts on, if you don't mind. (This is going to be long)

*Before I start, I'm recalling these details with the inability to double check atm but it should be fine*

You mentioned Tubbo wanting to escape the music box to where he wouldn't have to dance if the music box played, so does the box have a certain range of area in order to control Tubbo?

(Now for potential headcanon time >:D)

If so, a fluffy route is Tommy and Tubbo chilling (after knowing each other for a bit) and having placed the music box deep in the basement or something. They could get rid of it, but they don't know if the magic tied to Tubbo is also tied as close with the box. (Life line stuff- and it's not fluff anymore. I tried.)

The angst route tho (and gotta love some angst) is if say Tubbo is out of the general "range" of the box to dance but the music box calls to him-the music is played- from wherever. A scenario where Tubbo can't ignore its call and is forced to go reunite with the box- whether he's concious of the pull and heading back to where it is despite the dread or whether he's unconscious, like its an automatic process and his mind blanks as he hurries to be back with the box. (The possibilities if someone got their hands on the box with the angst mhmm)

And speaking of someone getting ahold of the music box...

Dream.

:)

Dream gets ahold of the box (maybe noticing Tommy originally getting it, or like, Wilbur might've been doing a photo gallery of things to sell to potential customers idk stay with me, and skips over it fast or is like "oh, I already sold that one" to try and cover the fact that the box is very much NOT for sale, and not within their possession in case anyone did perk up with interest)

I don't know what Dream's profession would be... or relationship with Wilbur and co, but I could see him doing it (taking the box) to mess with Tommy. He took one of Tommy's finds that Tommy seems to appreciate. (The whole "you're too fun" dynamic because c!Dream just loves seeing kids in pain)

Dream could know about Tubbo prior or after the whole thing. (After playing the music box, Dream sees Tubbo arrive at some point to be with the box)

Tubbo is understandably terrified. Tubbo and the music box had never really been separated before this moment -out of the range-. (Tommy could have either just agreed to not play the box and have put it downstairs or Tubbo tried to escape the range and Tommy physically went after him, not choosing to utilize the music box.)

OR ALTERNATIVELY They do know, maybe Tubbo could have known this would happen because Tommy and him tested it out to see if he was free and Tubbo was like "I didn't want to come back... it /made/ me come back..." So que the alarm bells when Tommy realizes the box is gone after he can't find Tubbo.

Anyway! Back to Tubbo and Dream. (Tbh as soon as doll!Tubbo became a tag I went "Pawn? Puppeteer Dream? Porcelain doll? Puppet?!) A chess piece for a pawn might be bigger than doll!Tubbo... (o.O) 2-3 inches is pretty small.

So... assuming Dream does realize how important Tubbo is to Tommy, Dream uses it to his advantage. (Is making Tubbo dance the only thing the music box can do? Or could it control Tubbo to do other things as well 👀... depending on the music box holder 👀... up to you)

That brings me to the doll!Tubbo is "fairly fragile" as you stated in one of the asks. Which yes, great, stunning, he can feel things, and if one of his arms gets chopped off? Well that's alot of damage. Can Tubbo die while he's "fairly fragile"? (I mean the name implies he's fragile so... I guess so...)

Because alternatively, (and this is just for the idea) consider Tubbo still being fragile physically, but he can't die-or atleast is hard to kill-. A porcelain body, but he doesn't really feel sensations. (Because he is a doll, and do dolls breathe, do dolls have heartbeats, hmm) Tubbo's body is still breakable, maybe he loses an arm. "What a shame" but he lives on, there's not much he can do. He can't feel anything besides the solids underneath him and the things he touches. No smell or texturized sensations. He can't feel pain, so he could get cut up into pieces and still be aware of exsistence. (The whole clothes stuck to body thing tho I don't want to disprove that)

If he couldn't feel pain, imagine Dream drilling small holes on his body to add little puppeteer strings. Dream is excited he can't wait to hold /this/ over Tommy's head.

Tubbo, being dragged by strings, is completely helpless, and once realizing that Dream relishes in his struggles, has mainly given up.

Do they talk to one another? Who knows...

You mentioned a potential counter curse which... fluff good fluff, but what of it involved Tubbo slowly gaining "human characteristics" back (more so to the idea that Tubbo can't feel sensations, smell things or feel pain)

And then the drilling starts, and for the first time in a long time, Tubbo feels pain. (Also the drilling puppet strings is dark, yessir, but I forgot Tubbo was porcelain and was like ah yes wood doll, ah yes, puppet strings go brr)

Anyway, that was my ramble, thanks for reading this!

-EchoLocation

FINALLY!!! SOMEONE IS INTERESTED IN THIS AU!!! THANK YOU ECHOLOCATION!!!!!!

Okay okay okay-

So (it's gonna be hard to answer all of this but I'mma try-)

Music box control: there is a range, basically if Tubbo can hear the music he has to dance to it- BUT if he's out of range and someone plays the music he is forced to get into range to hear it from the curse (like what you said with him being stuck in a trance and going to find it). As for control, you can use the box to make him do other things, but you have to change the melody (music boxes have this little metal roll in them that has dots to play the song, and you can buy a new one and change it any time) and sing an actual song to that melody about what you want him to do- singing to the original melody doesn't work

Dream: Dream is probably someone who buys and trades stolen items from Wilbur alot. And most likely a hidden fae. So, Wilbur had taken a picture of the box and posted it on his (secret) website before he knew about Tubbo, and when Dream saw it- he immediately recognised the cursed music box and wanted it. Of course by then Wilbur would be unwilling to sell it, but Dream has his ways (fae cursed the box remember? So, what fae that's going to steal this box do you think was there when it was cursed? Dream. So who knows how to utilize the curse? Dream.)

Tubbo and pain: Tubbo can feel pain. But he can't die. So you can shatter him to a million pieces and he would be in agony unless someone glued him back together- and he can't pass out- (I know, I'm a monster). Dream knows all of this- so when he wants a puppet it just makes him do a sloppy job at drilling the holes in, just so he can hurt Tubbo more.

Counter curse: through the counter Tubbo would turn back very slowly, and it would take at least a year to turn completely human again (although he would be free from the box's control instinaniously)- as well as, even though he was turned into a tiny doll, he can't be grown back, so he's now a tiny human- but at least a free tiny human

(I think I got it all?)

Mcyt g/t tag list:

@nomynameisanon @trashpumped @loriepoptale @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @shy-septic-dragon @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah @iwasgoingtohellanyways @echoslime @wilbur-simp @trouble-off-grid @the-misfits-system

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.9 HALLOWEEN NIGHT/NOVEMBER 1st 5:13 AM

Warren County, Illinois

While that call did not succeed in waking up Kyndra and Zoey, the aforementioned Diego was woken up, however, by his co-worker Quinn, as he lay napping on a tattered sofa in the SuperFuel Deluxe's break room.

“Diego!”

Diego grunted.

“Diego, get up,” Quinn slapped him with a blue rag.

Diego sat up and rubbed his eye.

“Customers.” Quinn said.

Diego blinked awake. The TV was on. A man with fake looking blonde hair stood in front of a map coated with splotches of reds, oranges, and yellows.

“ Lightning strikes have been reported just about everywhere as this severe cell moves through Warren and Carpenter counties. Listen up if you are in the areas of Russelville, Haddonfield, Langdon, Tuckerville...you are under a Severe Thunderstorm Warning and Tornado Watch ‪until 7:45 am‬. Check out this picture someone posted on social media, that's softball sized hail folks...this reported by Zeke, a custodian working late ‪night tonight‬ at Smith's Grove High School, so be careful out there folks.”

Thunder struck and the lights in the shop momentarily dimmed. Customers, Diego thought, in this storm?

Diego stood up and stretched and then grabbed his Mountain Dew he had swiped from the coolers a few hours ago. Stepping into the shop, he sure enough saw some guy was talking to Quinn, standing next to an old-ass station wagon. The kind that had the wood panels on the side. The bottom was eaten away with rust. Diego was surprised the thing was even running at all, and one of the first things he noticed were the California plates. The lifeless remains of a tire lay snaked around a severely dented rim on the front passenger side. Must have hit a curb without even braking, he thought.

Quinn pulled a clipboard off the dark blue tool bench next to him and said, “We actually just had one of these die on us last week and it's back there in the yard. We can replace the tire and the rim and fix up those tie rods and struts in a jiff. You got really got lucky, because otherwise you'd be waiting at least two days for parts.”

The man's eyes grew wide, “Are you serious?! That's a miracle if I ever heard one.”

“I'll say,” Diego chimed in, “What year is this?”

“1989 Ford Country Squire” Jack Tate said proudly.

“Wow,” Diego laughed. “Quinn's right, we literally just got one of these in, the drive train fell apart in our hands, literally fell apart. But it was much more beat up than this.”

“You don't say!?” Jack put his hands on his hips.

“I couldn't help but recognize the California plates,” Diego motioned to the back of the car, dropping to one knee to examine the wheel well.

“Yep,” Jack said, rubbing his chin, “We're from a small town in Northern California, between San Jose and Sacramento. It's called Summer Glen.”

“Bet you don't get much snow there,” Diego said from under the car.

“Nope..but I bet you guys do.”

Diego appeared from under the lopsided tire with a smile, “Buckets,” he replied, “And it wreaks havoc on an undercarriage.”

“I bet it does” Jack replied.

Diego stood up and wiped his hands on his coveralls. “Well, not so much the snow,” he said, “it's the salt they salt the roads with. Eats the bottom of the car all up.”

“So what do you do?” Jack asked.

“Heated car wash,” Diego said, reaching out his hand to Quinn for the clipboard.

“I saw signs for those on the way in, all over the place up here,” Jack said, “But I saw signs but then it looked like empty parking lots.”

Quinn smiled and handed Diego the clipboard, “With steam coming up?”

“I didn't see any steam,” Jack replied.

“They're probably turned off right now.” Diego remarked, looking over the paper on the clipboard.

Quinn whistled, “Whew don't I know it. It's been hotter than a hippo with a hernia.”

“Hmmm,” Jack grunted in agreement, “Climate Change.”

Quinn hissed, “Hogwash! I don't believe that bullshit for a second.”

Jack quickly changed the subject, “Anyways—err--how do car washes help your car in the winter?”

Quinn nodded, “You drive over the jets and they hose off your undercarriage with heated water”

“That's fascinating,” Jack smiled.

“Well,” Diego sighed, “We have the parts already so we'll charge you a $90 restocking fee, that's mostly 'cuz Quinn here has to run out in the rain and slip the rim and tie-rods off the old car.”

“Aww man, that's cold,” Quinn exclaimed.

“Good news is,” Diego continued, “You really didn't tear her up all that much besides that, you knocked some things loose but we can tighten her up. The labor will cost you $400 easy,, being on the weekend now, and then $140 for the tire, $126 for the rim, taxes and disposal and you're still under a grand.”

“That's wonderful,” Jack said, placing his hands back on his hips.

“What brings you out here?” Quinn asked, “Especially in this storm.”

“My wife got a job out here, she ‪starts Monday‬ so we wanted to get out here as quick as we could....drove straight through.” Jack remarked.

“Wow,” Quinn breathed.

“I need those parts Quinn,” Diego remarked, opening the top of the tool bench and pulling out a socket wrench.

“Oh right!” Quinn smiled. He walked over to the far wall and grabbed a yellow rain coat which hung on a peg next to a Calendar, still on the month of October. A model in a bikini presided over the tenth month. “What job did your wife get out here?” He called from across the room.

“She's going to be the new Chief of Medicine at the hospital,” Jack replied, his eyes on Diego as Diego crouched back down toward the car.

“Oh she's gonna replace old man Mixter!” Quinn remarked.

Jack shrugged.

“Hurry Quinn, this guy said he's got places to be,” Diego said from under the car.

“Oh right,” Quinn said and stepped through the side door that led into a small foyer and eventually either out to the front parking lot or back into the lot.

“So your wife's a doctor eh,” Diego's voice came from under the car, “so what do you do?”

“Well I'm a doctor too,” Jack replied.

Diego emerged from the car holding a twisted piece of metal, “Really? What kind?”

“Well I'm a psychiatrist,” Jack said.

Diego slid back under the car, “A shrink huh?” He said, “You opening up an office here or something?”

“Well no,” Jack laughed, “I'm actually going to take some time off and write a book.”

Diego re-emerged with more twisted metal, “Cool,” he said, “What about?”

“Hypnosis,” Jack said matter-of-factly.

Diego cocked his head to one side, “Really? You do that shit?”

“Swear by it,” Jack replied.

There was an awkward moment of silence and then they both laughed.

🎃

Meanwhile, Ophelia Tate had purchased a small and incredibly over-priced pack of baby wipes and was giving herself the best attempt at a bath she could muster inside the surprisingly clean restroom of the SuperFuel Deluxe. After she finished, she sat on top of a toilet and took an opportunity to catch up on social media.

While she sat in the stall reading about “11 Celebrities That You Would Never Assume Were Gay”, her son Damon stepped into the Food Mart, and wiped his perfectly white sneakers on the welcome mat. An angry looking Indian man looked up as the door bells jingled and then went back to fiddling with some electronic device behind the counter. Damon's first thought was, Why does he keep all that bullet proof glass open?

He casually turned to his left, starting down an aisle chock full of every imaginable brand of potato chip or chocolate or fruity candy---browsing but not really browsing, more just wasting time. The aisle came to a dead-end at a wall of coolers full of soda and water and fruit juices. Damon stopped and caught himself staring at a row of YooHoos when he heard what sounded like a snickering to his left.

There was a small hallway to the left of the coolers, veering off next to an ATM machine. He stepped in front of the ATM machine and peered down the hallway, at once spotting the cause of the commotion. Three young boys were standing in the corner next to a door marked: UTILITY, NO TRESSPASSING. One was a freckled redheaded kid with shiny braces dressed as batman, another was a blonde haired blue eyed boy dressed like Darth Vader, and the last was a much younger looking kid with brown hair and brown eyes dressed like some kind of zombie. They were huddled together, their masks all hanging limply around their necks, crowded around a magazine featuring a hot blonde titled RED RABBIT. The cover-girl’s name was apparently Misty Dawn, and according to the cover caption, she was “Back and Ready for More Action”.

The boys caught sight of Damon and looked up startled. The freckled redhead kid's smile disappeared and his eyes grew narrow, “Hey!” He called, “What are you looking at?”

Damon was unfazed. “Looks like a couple of pervs to me,” he said, stepping toward them.

This apparently took them aback because they said nothing in retort.

“Seriously,” Damon said, pointing at the cover, “How old are you guys?”

Blonde Vader who held the magazine in his hand pressed it to his chest as if it were the most valuable thing on the earth and looked up at Damon with his mouth open. Little zombie boy took a step back. But BatFreckle was not amused. “Why don't you go Fuck Off!”

Damon frowned, “That's not very nice language. Is everyone in this town pervs like you?”

“Where are you---” little zombie started in but BatFreckle cut him off.

“Don't you know that Warren County is the home of the Rabbit-in-Red? What hole did you crawl out of freak-show?”

“Rabbit-in-what?” Damon asked and with lightning speed, snatched the magazine from Blonde Vader.

“Hey!” The wannabe Sith Lord exclaimed.

“Rabbit-In-Red Productions is the world's third largest manufacturer of pornographic media dipshit, and the company is based here in Warren County.” BatFreckle spat.

“So it is a county full of pervs,” Damon said, opening the magazine and thumbing through the pages.

“My dad said a local bunch of church folks fought Mr. Martini in court over decency laws so much, the legal fees drove the church out of business.” Blonde Vader said.

“Shi-yeah,” BatFreckle said, “That's why old man Taylor's up in his house on the hill crying like a pussy all the time.”

“Mr. Who?” Damon asked, closing the magaize and handing it back to Blonde Vader.

BatFreckle snatched it instead and flipped to the table of contents, pointing to a ‪small black‬ and white picture of a middle-aged overweight man. “Lou Martini. He's the CEO of Rabbit-in-Red nimrod, he owns half the county and is like, the richest man in Illinois outside of Chicago.”

“Where are you from?” Little zombie found his place to ask.

“My parents and I are moving here from California, we just got in tonight, got a flat tire.” Damon replied.

“California! That's cool!” Blonde Vader exclaimed.

BatFreckle rolled his eyes, “Beat it California!” He said, “We were just checking out Spitz' mom in this month's issue.”

He and Blonde Vader started laughing.

“That's not my mom!” Little zombie, who's name was obviously Spitz, whined.

“Don't lie, you know it's her!” BatFreckle teased.

Blonde Vader turned the page, and the centerfold fell out, revealing the cover-girl Misty Dawn laying on a bed of white fur naked except for a silver belly chain and and black stilettos. A paper fell out as well and fluttered almost magestically to the floor. Damon bent down and picked it up. It was a flier that featured another picture of the model. The headline read:

SEE COVER GIRL

MISTY DAWN

TUE-SUN

OCTOBER AND NOVEMBER

AT THE

RABBIT-IN-RED LOUNGE

IN

HADDONFIELD

“Look Spitz” BatFreckle said in jest, “You can see your mom's show tonight if you want.”

“It's not my mom!” Spitz whined again.

“Why don't you leave him alone?” Damon said.

“Why don't you suck my balls?” BatFreckle snapped.

“Chill out Lonnie!” Blonde Vader slapped BatFreckle's shoulder and then looked at Damon “Lonnie can be a douche sometimes, I'm Richie Marshall, this is Lonnie Elamb, and he's Spitz. Welcome to Haddonfield.”

Lonnie groused and leaned back against the wall, opening up the porn.

“Cool, my name is Damon.”

“How old are you?” Richie asked.

“17, you?”

“I just turned 12, Lonnie is 16 but he's still in 8th grade...he has to go to special classes at the Middle School.” Richie and Spitz cackled.

“I have dyslexia fuck face!” Lonnie said, throwing the RED RABBIT at his friend.

“I'm 8,” Spitz said proudly.

“What are you doing out of the house at this time of night?” Damon asked, picking up the magazine from the floor and handing it back to Richie.

“Lonnie has his drivers license now, and I just snuck out of my house.” Richie said.

“What about you?” Damon asked, turning toward Spitz.

“His mom's a whore so she leaves him alone to go out fucking for quarters!” Lonnie called.

“Stop it Lonnie! She is not!” Spitz cried.

Damon ignored him and Spitz continued, “My mom works late nights at Jamie Lee's Diner, she doesn't get home till morning. My grandma watches me but she fell asleep and I...I snuck out too.”

“We just ate there coming in,” Damon said smiling.

“My mom is Taylor,” Spitz said.

“She was our waitress.” Damon replied.

“His mom's a slut!” Lonnie called.

Spitz started to whine but Damon put an arm around him, “Why do you hang out with this asshole? Is there anything else to do in this place than look at naked chicks?”

“There's an arcade in the driver's lounge, but I don't have any quarters.” Spitz said.

“Come on,” Damon said, “Show me where it is.”

Richie tossed Lonnie the magazine to followed Damon and Spitz. Lonnie caught it, rolling his eyes, he was perfectly happy right there looking at boobs.

🎃

Damon stepped into the shop area of the SuperFuel Deluxe and shook off the rain. There he saw his dad sitting on a folding chair listening, as another man held a lamp under their family station wagon from the Jurassic era. A third man was under the car working. The man holding the lamp was droning on and on about baseball. Damon didn't really care for baseball, or any sports for that matter.

“And then the Sox brought in their reliever, that guy Stroop, and he just completely fell apart. He hit two batters and walked another, and before you knew it the bases were loaded.” Quinn was saying.

Damon walked up to his dad. “Is that so---” Jack replied, but was startled when Damon tapped him on the shoulder.

“What is it son? You're not supposed to be back here.” Jack looked up at Damon.

“There's an arcade inside and I was wondering if you had any change on you?” Damon asked.

Jack leaned to one side and pulled his wallet out, withdrawing a 20 dollar bill. “Can they make change?” He asked.

“There's a change machine,” Damon said flatly, taking the money.

“You can play all of that, what the hell, it's been a long few days,” Jack said smiling.

Damon stuffed the twenty in his front pocket and turned, “Thanks,” he said.

“Tell your mom I'm in here,” Jack called after him.

“Haven't seen her,” Damon said as he walked out, without turning.

Quinn started up again, “So you know that big Dominican for the Cubs, Agu...Agu...something.”

“Aguilar,” Diego called from under the car.

“Yeah, Aguilar,” Quinn corrected himself. “Well he steps up to the plate and first pitch...bam!”

NEXT>>

[starvonnie]

I know it's a lot but I couldn't choose: 4, 7, 8, 10, 14, 15, 16, 35, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42 (that was apparently a really interesting group to me)

4. Who do you want out of your life the most?Hmmmm... I don’t think there’s anyone actively in my life that I want out of it.  Like maybe a couple of distant relatives?

7. Who do you wish you could be honest with?Everybody tbh.  I often don’t voice my feelings when I’m upset because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I end up bottling things up and it really isn’t good.  I’m trying to let people know when I’m not in a good mood or don’t want to talk because I know it’ll just lead to me getting angry.

8. Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?Probably a lot of people lol.  I can’t think of anyone specific atm though?  I’m worried this is how all the questions are going to go :P

10. Who do you wish you’d treated differently?A couple of boyfriends.  Man, they did not deserve the shit I put them through.

14. What’s your biggest regret?Going to college.  I went because all my friends were going and I was doing nothing and wanted out of the job I currently have.  And worst of all, I went to this PARTICULAR college because I thought I was gonna get back together with my ex (yup I did that) and then it didn’t happen and we had a falling out and then I had to see him around the dorms. #dontdowhatidid

15. Describe your ideal world.One without hate.  One where nonbinary peeps like me can just go out in the world and be our wonderful selves without transphobes getting us down.

16. Describe your personal hell.It’s probably exactly like this world except everything is on fire and Transformers doesn’t exist

35. What are you proudest of?I mean right now I’m really proud of my Koss fic.  I guess I’m proud that I’m still alive?  Didn’t think I’d live to see 21 and I’m 23 going on 24 so???

37. What’s your relationship with religion like?It’s not for me

38. Talk about someone you’ve lost.Oooooh boy this’ll probably be a doozy.  It’s not someone who’s died because I’ve been pretty lucky to have only been to 2 funerals in my life.  Tbh I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently and idk why.  But my ex-boyfriend Jon.  We only dated for a total of 6 months but he was honestly my most enriching relationship ever.  I just remember us singing at the top of our lungs while he drove (and he got lost because he didn’t read the GPS properly).  Or that time it was snowing so what was supposed to be an evening visit turned into us sleeping on the floor with like a couch pillow and a blanket that wasn’t big enough for even one person let alone two.  And once we got up it was STILL snowing but he had work so we had to leave and then we found out he didn’t have a brush in his car so we scraped the snow off with a McDonald’s bag and a ballot box (can’t remember why he had that thing).  Then I calmly talked him through snow driving because I’m really good at that.  It was a terrible day back then but I can’t help but remember it fondly now.  Then there was the time I asked him to come visit me because my period was terrible and I was crampy and I just wanted someone to hold me.  He said that he was sorry and that he couldn’t, and lo and behold, not 40 minutes later he was there with a bouquet of flowers and apologizing that he couldn’t stay but that he hoped I would feel better.  Fuck, I could go on and on but I’ll spare you.  If you read this far good fucking job.  He was the one that got away.

39. Talk about someone who abandoned you.She didn’t really abandon me, she just moved.  But after she moved she changed so it feel like that.  It was my best friend from when I was 12/13.  Also know as The Girl Who Made Me Realize I Was Gay.  Or bi, anyways.  I’m pan now but that’s how I referred to myself back then.  We bonded over Warrior cats and had sleepovers all the time.  She told me she was bi and told me what that meant and that was when I realized I had a HUGE crush on her (I wasn’t aware that you could have crushes on girls... keep in mind I was 12).  But she likes this boy so I never told her.  And then she moved and got a boyfriend and got into drugs and that was not my scene.

40. Talk about a desire you have that scares you.Probably my desire for a romantic relationship because it’s been forever since I’ve like really liked someone and I’m afraid I’ll meet someone that I FINALLY have actual legitimate feelings for and they won’t feel the same.  Dating while trans (and, y’know, ugly) is hard.

41. What’s something you wish you were capable of?Working at a shit job for more than 7 months without having a mental breakdown.

42. What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?I know I’m capable of this thing and I’m in therapy and check myself so I don’t do it again.  I’d rather not talk about it publicly tho.