#i still cant believe how much you guys liked the last dump! awesome to know that many of you recognised Blackadder haha

[whaledocboi]

i have been enabled and i also looove yapping so there goes the twilight doc rewrite idea dump (under the cut because this is gonna be long)

i will say it again tho, i only watched the movies so if something was different in the books and im wrong just ignore that please and thank you. also if i made any typos or forgot words ykwim

1, it should Not be set at a high school, i understand its for relatibility and so that they can stay at one place longer but i cannot believe that these people would actually pass as teenagers or that you are capable of making anyone over the (mental) age of 50 just go back to high school over and over again, they Would unionize after like the secone time. a university would make more sense because they can actually study what they want (or at least different things every time and it'd give them some sort characterization for once), there's more people, its less personal, they can blend in more so its not like outrageously unbelievable that Nobody noticed how strange the entire family is with just randomly disappearing for days etc etc, and probably most importantly we can get rid of that stupid ass teetering age gap between edward and bella, well she's 17 and he's technically over a 100 but it doesnt count because he doesnt age mentally- we all know not aging mentally isnt a thing, all that weird stuff, i dont want. make bella at least 21 or something. maybe she took several gap years because she wasnt sure what to do with her life, but after going on a spirit journey to working in retail for 3 years she discovered her unactualized passion for shakespeare or idfk, something of this nature (i do think bella should work in retail for some time, it'd give her the edge and common sense she didnt seem to have in the original). yea its less self insert YA romance but sacrifices must be made so i can get rid of the "not aging mentally thing" which (pisses me off) in this context is simply Not feasible.

2, we all know in canon all those vampire powers dont work on bella, edward cant read her thoughts, jane cant do the pain thing, etc etc, she has that shield going on for her, awesome, we can keep that, but i want to extend it to the point that all that vampire charm they're supposed to have, yknow that makes them "irresistable" for humans, just doesnt work on her either. she looks at the cullens and thinks damn. these people are uncanny valley as fuck tbh. and feels insane every time people talk about how cool and hot and sexy they are because i mean yeah i Guess they look attractive but why the fuck are they so pale that cant be normal and im like 60% sure their eyes change color. and nobody gets what she's talking about. she's pretty sure they're in a cult of some sort, especially after learning they're all adoptive siblings but they're also dating each other. she meets edward for the first time and him acting like a weirdo isnt softened by his supernatural charms so bella's first impression on him is like this guy is soo strange i hope i dont have to do group projects with him again. imo it'd be better (and way funnier) if she initially wasnt into them at all, it'd give moments to actually get to know these people and make the overall story not feel like she basically got manipulated into liking these people

3, going over to edward, he should be at least five times more pathetic, and also not a 100+ years old, him still being quite young would work better for this interpretation in my head. whole new backstory incoming, he was a sickly child and sickly teenager, spent a lot of time in the hospital or at home, so couldnt really make lasting friendships or socialize very much because of that, when he was turned at like 19-20, he had to spend the next however long in the vampire cult with the other weirdos and freaks vampires in alaska making sure he learns how to act like a human again and wont eat people and stuff and Then when he finally managed to get back into society he sort of realized that now people are only really into him because he has that vampire charm thing going for him, which he quickly grows to dislike, because now he'll always feel like people dont care about him for who he is but because of this unnatural allure he has. bro deep down just wants to make One friend who isnt there because of forced proximity or because of his involuntarily vampire rizz. thats why after he meets bella (and overcomes wanting to eat her, sure she can still have vampire cocaine blood, whatever) and realizes he cant read her thoughts and she appears to be utterly uninterested in him, he's almost happy because maybe that means he can cultivate a normal human relationship again. he lowkey isnt very good at it (aformentioned reasons), but eventually they get to a point where they are friends. cue to getting to know each other montage. they Will have more than 3 scenes together where they talk about themselves and their interests. edward would try to be as honest as possible because he already feels bad enough for knowing he could never tell bella about the vampire thing which is like. a pretty important plotpoint to him. (he'd talk about how he was in and out of hospitals a lot growing up which didnt help with his social skills, bella voice so you just stare off into space hoping your looks will be enough to get people to talk to you? edward voice well..so far it had worked...)

4, jacob should stay around 16-17 and he will stay good in this idc, there was literally no reason to ruin his character like that for the stupid ass love triangle. it can be implied he had a little crush on bella growing up, but imo by the edward events they should have a sibling bond where jacob still is protective of bella and isnt a fan of the cullens at all, but its because he's actually worried about her safety not because he's upset that she's hanging out with another guy. he would still antagonize edward but in the "your brother who hates your brooding emo boyfriend and thinks he's not good enough for you" way. and pleaseee give him an age appropriate love interest. dare i say im willing to put my own selfish reasons aside (lesbian), it can be leah clearwater too if done right (they both get hit with the wolfication beam and they're both struggling to come to terms with it so that gives them opportunity to bond etc etc. but they can just be friends too). i just think jacob could've been such a likeable character if they didnt insist on making him into a certified selfish niceguy douchebag

first movie more important events timeline: i manifest an imaginary small town and an imaginary university in the slightly bigger town close by -> bella moves to small town to her dad (i will make up a reason for that later. she wants to escape big cities, open a small bookstore and live near the forest. or something.) -> bella meeting new people and getting settled montage -> seeing the cullens around for the first time (#weird) -> meeting edward for the first time (super weird) -> edward apology, getting to know each other montage -> edward and bella are legit friends now and its cute! they bicker and stuff! -> something something different characters hanging out and we as the audience learn things about them so they arent just cardboard cutouts -> i think it can also focus a bit on edward's whole struggle with the vampire thing and the cullens very bad no good attempts at trying to act like normal people around bella after they all realize that they cant deceive her by just being sexy. let them be silly. bella genuinely likes edward and maybe alice (because she's nice and friendly) but still thinks their family is really weird -> the whole james feud happens at the end but its scaled down and bella still doesnt know about the vampire thing (because no matter how weird she finds them, her first and immediate conclusion isnt that its because they must be vampires, she's normal in this), so its just them hanging out/going home after bella dragged edward out to have drinks with her friends in an attempt to socialize him some more (insert edward slightly improved but still not great people skills) when they get attacked by james (just him this time) which immediately puts edward into the worst situation of his life because there is no way of getting out of this without either revealing himself to be decidedly not a human to bella or her getting killed by james, and in both cases its almost guaranteed that he will lose the only actual friend he's had since forever. theres almost no good choice because even if he saves bella at the very least he and his entire family are gonna have to move away and bella will forever have this experience and knowledge nobody's ever going to believe. its very hard to be him rn. he then of course decides to fight off james because the other choice is just letting bella die which he cant live with, so he'd rather choose making some shit up and having his entire family be very mad at him for having to move again (also just to note that bella really likes him at this point, maybe has a crush on him but isnt genuinely obsessed the way she was in canon, like she wouldnt fall into a multiple months long depression if he left, she'd just be confused and sad). story ends on a cliffhanger of edward killing james and after a moment of silence bella realizing what just happened. so unfortunately the gazebo dancing will be cut, rip.

the only thing i have planned out for the second part is that it'd start with like a small timejump where things seem fairly normal, and then it'd cut to a flashback of where the first one ended (the james feud) where now both of them are verging a mental breakdown, bella because she thinks she's either actually losing her mind right now or someone put the strongest hallucinogen drugs known to man into her drink or she did actually just witness his friend killing a dude in a clearly supernatural fight and edward because he has to somehow deal with this situation of explaining it to bella and making sure she wont tell it to anybody, explaining it to his family and making sure they (rosalie) dont get the sparkling idea of just killing off bella in order to stay around longer, but at least leaving everything and moving to the other side of the country. after the immediate freaking out bella is still very disturbed and shocked and quite frankly she does not want to be there so as edward would try to start explaining it she's like Please shut up this instant, there is no way i can deal with any of this at the moment i need to go home, can i go home? its not as though i can tell it to anyone without looking insane anyways. and edward is just very defeated okay but pleasee can we talk as soon as possible. so now its back to the beginning, its been idk a couple days, doesnt matter, and this will be the first time they'll talk since the events, bella is still lowkey spooked (no wonder) so her conditions are that its gotta be a very public place so she can have some sense of safety at least. something something edward vampire coming out scene, bella voice i cant help but feel like you're just shitting me edward voice i could show you all the things i've talked about if we werent in the school cafeteria- etc etc vampirism morality conversation no i dont eat people i never have etc etc edward will be allowed to have one vampire ability showcase running around in the woods and stuff. we can insert a cullen family argument about what they should do, but they decide on staying for now. bella is obviously still kinda weirded the fuck out and kinda wants some distance from edward to like figure it out, so she spends more time bonding with jacob who then gets hit with the wolf beam and becomes even more resentful towards the cullens (he blames the shapeshifter gene or whatever being triggered by them moving here and he's kinda justified in that) so girl is Not escaping the supernatural events, its almost funny. the victoria revenge tour thing will start in this one too. thats where im at currently.

extra thoughts, i would definitely want to keep the cartoonishly evil vaguely queer coded disney villain volturi the way they were in the movies, batshit insane michael sheen behaving like he just did crack cocaine every time he was on screen was the highlight of my days. plus charlie should also be immune to all vampire stuff thats why he isnt a fan of the cullens and edward either

i've never read the twilight books and only ever watched the movies kind of tipsy or actually drunk, but for some reason i got to the point where not only am i reasonably convinced i could make it into a way more compelling story but i have a fully planned out rewrite of the first movie/book in my head. maybe the second one too if i think about it for another hour

[captainreverie]

I have been waiting for someone to ask me this ever since i dropped the first Blackadder crossovers in January ‘18, so that I would have an excuse to spend a whole day on this dumbassery, so bless you @mazderverhal 

It has always been Mavik lmao 

[Rev’s DA Worldscape]

[youranxiousnerd]

The Field Trip Thoughts

Because there is a lot of them

Spoilers for HSMTMS Below

First off, Gina and Ej are adorable. I don’t ship Portwell romantically but I adore their friendship

I’m sorry Ej is the president of the AV club?!?!?! He’s been a part of the club for, what, like two weeks? Go big or go home I guess

I love Nini’s outfit

RICKY USE YOUR EYES!!!

i see that a common theme this season is Ricky not being able to see what is right in front of him. 

I know Ricky is going through stuff. I’m a firm supporter of the Ricky needs therapy campaign. 

Gp better be Ej’s contact name for Gina or I will riot

“Are you announcing the fall musical, I vote Dear Evan Hansen.” 

two evans and possibly a third #joeserafiniforevan

YA KOURT IS STILL ON COSTUME CREW WE STAN AN ACTOR/TECHIE

“SPEECH SPEECH”

i love dara’s laugh

“Can you not keep your phone on silent in rehearsal like everyone else?” “’Sorry, everyone’, is what Carlos would say if he were more like me.”

I smell tension. They seem kind of tense this episode. I don’t know where it came from, there wasn’t really any build up bc thats how seblos rolls. Like they were completely fine last episode. Maybe Seb is just fed up or something happened off screen?

im just happy we’re getting seblos content lmao

“Terrible line” 

“Oh my god is your phone hungry i don’t understand.”

In the “previously on HSMTMTS” segment in episode 5, Carlos mentioned he was slightly scared to be on stage. he seems so effing stressed and irritated this episode more than usual. Carlos for the love of god talk to your boyfriend and eat a snickers.

I think the North High stuff has gone to his head. 

GAHH SEB’S COSTUME

okay carlos honey i love you but how can do you know north high stole your beast mask because a bit of fur is sticking out of a trunk. they have fur too. 

guys look around the room first it could have fallen but nOoOo you assume they committed a felony right off the back.

“Let it go” the kids of east high did not in fact let it go.

I AM DIANE AND I LOVE NORTH HIGH

yes, bring the loudest kids in the school to go steal something, thats an excellent idea.

and bring the kid who cant lie for sh!t im talking about you seb

RICHARD BOWEN YOU DO NOT SCREAM YOUR SCHOOL NAME IN THE ENEMY SCHOOL WTF

Carlos looks so done with everyone I feel you man, i feel you

north high looks more like pottery barn than an actual high school. Seriously, who or what is funding this place?

Miss Jenn: tells the kids to let it go and not go steal the mask. 

Also Miss Jenn: goes to north high

GET AWAY FROM GINA YOU MFER

ej is wearing the gayest shirt in history how does that north high boy believe they’re dating

nice save, ej. 

the faking dating was one of the best scenes of the episode. 

AWWW EJ 

im so happy gina is finally getting the attention she deserves. like i said earlier, i dont ship portwell but gina needs friends and ashlyn and ej are some pretty good friends. they have her back and that’s what i think gina needs.

LILY IS EVIL BUT SHE LOOKS GOOD DOING IT

kourtney darling lower your voice youre on a heist not shopping for shoes

nini you have done nothing for this heist why are you here? 

for the record, i don’t hate nini, but shes probably one of my least favorite characters. i liked her in episode 6 and season 1 tho.

the main kids all share one braincell they didn’t check the box where they originally thought the mask was.

“I want one”

Wow, you guys got caught. Between the Wildcats, loud voices, and large crew I would have never guessed.

SEB’S FACE WHEN NORTH FINDS THEM IM DYING.

The aggressiveness of Antoine’s french is killing me. 

zacky roy what are you doing?

LILY AND THE FLASHLIGHT

carlos getting fired up

“fugly” dramatic gasp

“Oh yeah, what if we bop to the top” I HAVE WAITED 17 EPISODES FOR MEAN/AGGRESSIVE/ANGRY SEB IT WAS WORTH IT

GO OFFF SEBBY

carlos’ “honey calm tf down” face

“honey no” “honey yes”

East High is confused by a dance off (so am i) but then preform a musical number to save their teacher from getting fired complete with original a original song and dance 

“That’s weird even for me”

LILY DONT YOU EFFING DARE INSULT ASHLYN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF

“She’s better than this” Next scene is Miss. Jenn dancing with the enemy

Around you is my least favorite song of the season. That being said, the singing is good

RICKY LOOK THE OTHER WAY

“Tom Holland on stilts” 

“That man is ridiculous and you should dump him and date me” ANTOINE THAT IS A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY BUT ITS SO FUNNY

i love antoine

dj antoine in the house!

“I knew you all didn’t like the Mob Song”

“What kind of budget” THANK YOU KOURTNEY

nini straight up said “see ya”

how is no one questioning why someone is in costume? didn’t lily say no costumes?

also how is howie beast playing guitar with those gloves?

YAY KOURTNEY

ANDREW BARTH FELDMAN EVERYONE

seb really said “go get em babe”

CARLOS POP OFF

i love how frankie was singing in his lower range or it was just autotune

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU YASSSSS

nice save, antoine. do i ship? idk, but it was cute.

mob song was good. the solos were pretty good as well as the dancing but the background track...not my style. it was enjoyable tho.

SALTY BIG RED

“No, Nini’s Rose Song.”

im so glad they addressed why the rose song cant be used. its a really good song and olivia sings it perfectly but it doesn’t make sense for the plot and you cant alter text.

“Ej you had one job”

nini really likes leaving

Zack you are an adult it is high school theater not the World Series

“it’s just a song, ricky” I think you kinda, ya know wasn’t “just a song”. Out of the Old wasn’t “just a song”. All I want wasn’t “just a song”. How is Rose Song any different?

gina and ej goofing off is awesome

seb and carlos being the theater dads watching over their children

ope- howie turn your phone off

carlos and seb really said “bye, have fun” THEY BOLTED

ummm...yeah

you can see how much howie regretted in that moment

“I’m Nina” ooo interesting is she going to go by Nina now?

Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. The stakes are high and I’m glad the other relationships are getting screen time. The balance was good this week, I wish it was like this every week. My only issue is how underdeveloped the plot was this episode, but beside that it was pretty good.

[thecoolsquirrel]

Cradlesona

Cradlesona #2

Credits to @lovingsiriusoswald ~!

Basic Knowledge

Name: Kat, soon to be silver/6 of spades

Birthday: 4/20

Age: 27

Height: 5′7 or 174cm

Physical appearance :

Hair: black,thigh length hair, usually tied up in on thick braid,

Eyes:Black

Skin: Tan skin,

Accessories:

An engagement ring on her finger, blue rectangle hair clips, heart shaped golden earrings, a gun holster

Social:

personality: Bold, a flirt, is a 100% straight but would 100% pin a close girl friend, actually really insecure it usually shows when she starts making jokes, sarcastic, blunt, once she starts becoming better friends with someone her awful jokes/sarcasm starts showing

Affliction: Her dad built her a little house next to his, would move once mousie and mousse get married, was going to live at the black army hq but multiple times was called out for wanting to stay at a place with mostly guys

Relationships:

Mousse altas: Oh boy, they argue a bunch of mousie, though kat believes that they could actually be friends, and that he can protect her, but just to get under his skin she bickers with him, would totally threaten anyone who talks bad about mousse though just cause hes mousies fiance, they actually once got into a heated fight and kat yelled at him differently then how she usually does earning a slap from mousie (thats gonna be a comic/fanfic tho) also laughs at how shes like a couple inches taller then him 

Mousie altas: BEST FRIEND OMG I LOVE YOU, ehem, she loves her and would die for her, loves all her treats, and if she doesnt she still eats them but doesnt ask for seconds, brings snacks over all the damn time, compliments everywhere,likes picking her up, she honestly cried when mousie said she was engaged (out of happy tears maybe?) *kat holding someone from the collar* "kat all they said was i looked like a kid.." "EXACTLY" after a fight (wich happens every blue moon) mousie finds kat at a bar and has to pick her up "LITTLE MOUUUSEE~!"  "hm?.." "IM SO SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU CAN YOU FORGIVE ME PLEASE?" when they were at school kat was into lots of sports and whenever she lost mousie would be there to comfort her, i would say ranting buddies but more like kat rants and mousie listens

Harr silver: "damn" met him on one of those days mousie and herself got into a argument, kat went out into the forest to train were she found it starting to rain, her wanting to go back to hq she left, CRAP, lost, loki found her blah blah blah "hey wanna stay with me?" "not really-" "..." " i see that you wernt ASKING" but then saw harr and almost fell on her face "OH-" one of their convos, "who are you?" "uhh kat whatever your last name is" "!" "NO REGRETS" they didnt see each other for a bit after that but once saw him again to fight amon and noticed that he knew sirius, went up to sirius the next day like "dude i didnt know you had friends outside the army, ANYWAYS WHO IS HE?" honestly blessed sirius for being her wingman after the battle with amon but DIDNT LIKE SIRIUS when harr and she was actually dating and he would try to give him pick up lines or somethin, this boy, she flirts with him a whole bunch, she acts all smooth about it and stuff but once shes done with like two sentences she makes weird giddy noises with her face red matching harrs, harr does anything "YOUR DOING GREAT SWEETIE" harr once made her a flower crown and she may or totally did cry, took her a little bit to say i love you like mousie she wanted it to be romantic and jazz but she probably said it while huggin him like "i love you so much" they both froze loki"OMG IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO SAY IT OM-" totally knew when he was proposing cause of either loki and also how can you not he asked her out for a date and he was fidgiting for every second of it, THEY BOTH CRIED WHEN HE PROPOSED, the next day  SHE NYOOMED OVER TO HER BROTHER BUT COULDNT GET A SINGLE DANG WORD OUT SO SHE KINDA WAS JUST THERE FACE RED TEARS STREAKING DOWN LIKE "ISAFEFYOUAINTKGOLSAFNANDHE DIKFILOVEEE HIMOGSG"

Loki: "oh hes kinda clingy but i guess hes kinda neet" after noticing that hes basically harrs son "OH F ME" kinda warmed up to him one day when she was laying with harr sge kinda was just like " your son- i mean loki is a constant on heat cat" loud coughing Red Army:

Blanc: "hey can i have an other slice of the carrot cake its really good!" blanc"????" oliver".... she cant visit no more" boom thats their relationship

Lancelot kingsley: After all that she and it was actuallly amon who was behind everything her reacting kinda was like "oh dang, OK COME HERE LET ME SHOW SOME LOVE" honestly just wants to be friends with him from all the burdens he had are they friends now? "more like acquaintances but im working on it!, sirius and sometimes harr are helping me on trying to help him open up"

Jonah clemence: ok so if she was going to try friending lance shes gonna HAVE to be on the good side with jonah, brought him macaroons from mousies cafe and told him she knows luka and so that was a good start, she sometimes gifts him lukas desserts. are they friends? "i would like to believe so! his tsun side is kinda, something, but when he actually lets those walls fall hes quite nice! right now were trying to get luka talk to him"

Edgar bright: "SKETCHY" shoot hes sketchy little thing but he HAS TREATS, likes his ducks, but honestly think hes really awesome with sword fighting, she asked luka about him and he said that hes "aright" so she takes his word for it are they friends? "yes?"

Kyle ash: asked if he can teach her some basic stuff for dressing wounds, noticed hes also a light weight YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, two drunks being dragged from the collar out of the bar and just laying out infront of the bar like rats, totally calls him out for him saying "Eat healthy" but then he drinks, tried picking him up it actually worked! are they friends?: "HECK YA HES COOL!"

Zero: "ok what the heck happened to you so i know who to murder-" actually started to warm up to edgar when she noticed that he was friends with zero, asked if she can pick him up, it didnt work, asked if he can pick her up, DID WORK, when she was in the dumps cause mousie had work zero gave her a lolipop, ".. omg your a treasure too.." Zero"what?"

Black Army:

Ray blackwell: CAPE BUDDIES! actually really looks up to him and thinks hes super cool! she joined a a few months before him, totally talked to him like a kid but when he became king she kinda was like "Crap waIT WHAT?" asks (she begs) if he can take her when he sees the ally cats, they bond over the kats, though she finds it annoying when they shed on her black cape

Sirius oswald: "who ever thinks im kats dad raise your hand- KAT PUT YOUR HAND DOWN" they knew each other in school, or more like she saw him when they were in school and she just stared at his bangs that looked like they were cut with a lawn mower IMSORRY, shes either on his side defending him from the brats like a proud mother hen, or she is the brat, shes like "no thats not smart" next day shes doing that thing, sirius is on edge around her just cause she can turn on him whenever she feels like it either shes on his side or not lol

Luka clemence: thought he was a girl "wow your really pretty." turns out hes a guy " WOW YOUR A REALLY PRETTY GUY" took a while for them to actually become friends but they got there! praises his cooking/desserts like if its the best thing on this planet COUGH it is COUGH, she gets up around the same time as luka does just so she can make it to the hq on time for breakfast, sometimes asks if they can spar if she catches him training.

Seth hyde: "are you gay?" insert shocked seth face, he helps braid her hair since she cant get it right i mean SHE CANT SEE BEHIND HER HEAD, when she came home one day from a date with harr, harr braided in flowers and seth felt betrayed cause 1: why didnt he think of that and 2:" KAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO BRAID YOUR HAIR WHA" he picked her out some dresses she wants to wear them so badly but doesnt want to one day look like she has somewhere important to be when shes just going on to get fruit, and plus she usally just wears her uniform, tried picking him up, didnt work, he "tried" picking her up " SETH WHY AM I TOUCHING THE SEALING"

Fennir godspeed: "FENNIIIIRRRRR YOOO WHATS GOOD MY GUY" REALLY LIKES TALKING TO HIM, like an older brother to her, he was actually the one who gifted her the gun holster+ a pistol since she took interest in his duel ones, though she only got one since she has shaky hands and needs to hands to steady her hands, tells him hes chicken for not eating his tomatoes, he still doesnt eat them,

Family:(will go in more detail in fanfic or backstory) Parents, two older brothers, two younger sisters Parents: AWESOME, LOVES THEM A WHOLE BUNCH!? Oldest brother: they were kinda close at childhood but drifted away when getting older Second oldest brother: BEST FRIEND, tells him everything, actually joined the blackarmy cause he did youngest sisters:was and still kinda is jealous of them but got over it and trying to fix their relationship

Miscellaneous

Shes secretly really insecure and laughs it off, but is honestly week sometimes and just cries and so shes just smiling while crying and in her head shes just like "Ah yes here i am making everyone around me uncomfortable" is also a stress eater but mousie thinks shes just enjoying the sweets, got bullied as a kid and jokes about it, had lots of friends but then they just left half the time so shes used to quick friends, likes fruit, if you gift her a fruit salad she will probably cry if you cant tell already she crys alot , sometimes she annoys people that are her friends and feels like traasssh is such a light weight its not even funny, when she was younger she was like "oh ya im not going to be a light weight imma be like my dad!" first drink "DAAD IM A LIGHT HECK" 

Snippit of a backstory- TO BE CONTINUED

Quick doodles of mousie and kat

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[middleearth2asgard]

“Imagine being an intern for Tony Stark and expecting to work with some amazing technology, but instead he has you doing stupid errands.”

Based on an imagine from @imaginary-desires. 

As the elevator rose to the floor that the nice lady at the front desk had instructed you to go to, you bounced up and down with excitement. You couldn’t believe that you had actually landed an internship with Tony Stark. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity! Of course, you tried very hard not to delude yourself into believing that you would actually get to meet Tony Stark or any of the other Avengers (you’d probably answer to his assistant’s assistant or something like that), but you were still giddy in spite of it. You smoothed the front of your business clothes and did a last minute hair adjustment to make sure you looked perfect for the occasion. You wanted to make a good impression, after all.

When the doors slid open, however, the last face you expected to see greeted you.

“Hey, guess you’re my intern, huh?” Tony Stark said.

“Yes, sir,” you squeaked, hopping out before the elevator doors could close on you.

“Don’t call me sir,” he said. “It makes me feel old. And don’t call me Mr. Stark either while we’re at it. Mr. Stark was my dad.”

“Yes, si—“

He gave you a look.

“Tony?” you finished, making it sound almost like a question.

“See? Not so bad. It’ll get easier with time.”

“May I just tell you how excited and proud I am that I was chosen for this program?”

“Of course you can, go ahead.”

You stared at him feeling rather startled. “I thought I just did...”

“I’m just giving you a hard time, kid,” he said, slapping you playfully on the arm. “Do you know what an intern is?”

“Uh-“

“It’s something to look good on your future resume and an opportunity for me to get a little legally free labor.”

Pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it to you, he added, “Do you remember your way back to the lobby? Of course you do, you look smart. Go run these errands for me. It’ll probably be late when you finish so pick me up some dinner on the way back.”

Then he pressed the elevator button for you before turning and disappearing down a hallway.

—————————————

It was day five of your internship and so far the closest thing you had seen to the latest and greatest Stark technology was the inside of his elevator. Ok, so most interns get stuck running errands. It was an expected part of the job. You had accepted that. But it was all you had done all week long.  And these weren’t normal errands either. What did the man really need with one hundred pounds of bird seed and a bunch of men’s t-shirts in size x-small?

As you stood at the counter of the custom-designed clothing store waiting to pick up the package that would round out your list of duties for the day, you decided you had to talk to Tony about this. You wanted to learn more than just how much stuff you could manage to pack into your car at one time.

“Maybe he hates me and this is his way of trying to get me to quit?” You thought to yourself. Well, either way, you would talk to him about it as soon as you got back.

“Here you go,” the man said as he placed the box on the counter. “I gotta ask, what are these for? Are you guys having a MC Hammer party or something?”

“I don’t even know what’s in here, so you know more about it than I do.”

———————————-

When you got back, you found Tony waiting for you in the living room. Why couldn’t he ever be in the lab? Surely he had a lab here, right?

“Oh, you’re back,” he said, not looking up from his phone as you set the giant box on the coffee table in front of him.

“Tony, we have to talk.”

“Usually that means someone is breaking up with me.”

“All I have done all week is run your stupid errands. I applied for this internship because I wanted to learn some amazing stuff from an awesome guy that I really admire. Now, am I ever going to get to do that?”

“Are you quitting?” He asked, finally looking up at you.

You’d thought about it, and there were times when the idea seemed really tempting (like when you were dragging that one hundred pound bag of birdseed inside without any help), but you couldn’t do it. You wanted to be here more than you had ever wanted anything else.

“No, I just wanted to voice my concerns.”

“Congratulations,” he said, smiling at you. “Welcome to Phase 2. No one has ever made it there before. Usually they give up before the first day is over.”

“So, Phase 2 is where you start showing me some cool tech?” You asked excitedly.

“No, that’s Phase 3.”

“So, what is Phase 2?”

Tony started rubbing his hands together in front of him and laughing evilly. “You’ll see tonight. Be prepared to pull an all-nighter.”

——————————————-

“Right there,” Tony said, pointing to the exact place where he wanted you to use the soldering gun.

“I know! I know!”

“Okay! Give an intern free reign and they start acting like they run the joint.”

You gave him a side glance to see that he was smirking at you when he said it.

The pair of you had been in Tony’s lab (yes, you finally made it there) fiddling around with different projects ever since the previous night’s “assignments” were completed...speaking of which...

Your focus was interrupted by the sound of Tony snorting like he was desperately trying to hold in his laughter. Looking up, you saw the reason why. Steve was standing in the doorway wearing a shirt that, based on everything you knew about the laws of physics, he shouldn’t have even been able to squeeze into. He was looking from one bicep to the other, flexing them as he did so, wearing an expression that said he was getting more and more confused by the minute.

“Morning, Cap,” Tony said. “Something wrong?”

“I don’t know. Yesterday all my shirts fit, but today—“ his body finished his sentence for him when it popped the shirt at the shoulder seam. “They’re all like this.”

You covered your mouth in an attempt not to laugh and give it away. The thought of him trying to fit his enormous muscles in those x-small shirts you’d bought was more than you could stand.

“Guess you’ve been spending too much time in the gym,” Tony said nonchalantly.

“Since yesterday?” Steve asked.

“It took you about five minutes to get that build seventy years ago. I don’t know how your body works, don’t ask me,” Tony answered.

“Or someone switched them all out like someone did with my pants,” Bruce said from behind Steve.

You just gave up and doubled over in a fit of laughter when you saw Bruce walk into the room in those gigantic big leg pants with the stretchy waist band.

“Any idea who might have done that, Tony?” Bruce asked.

“Nope, none whatsoever.”

“It was probably the same son of a bitch who dumped bird seed on every visible surface of my room,” Clint said, joining the rest of you in the lab but stopping short when he saw Bruce’s pants.

“Hey, I cant be held responsible because you made a mess with your midnight snack,” Tony replied.

Before anyone else could say anything, the sound of a manly scream reached every corner of the building.

“That would be Thor,” you said, looking at Tony with a suddenly serious expression.

“I think we might have gone too far with his.”

“No chance this internship has health insurance to cover my soon-to-be medical bills, is there?”

“No, but the job I’m offering you right now does. Let’s say we talk about it somewhere else.”

“STARK!!” You heard Thor yell.

“Somewhere far away from here,” he added, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you out the door.

[haughtbreaker]

Memories That Remain Pt 9

Thank you so much for your patience. You guys have been so awesome and @jaybear1701​ and I heart you all for continuing to read and leave comments.

Random gif inbound:

I don't wanna talk About things we've gone through Though it's hurting me Now it's history I've played all my cards And that's what you've done too Nothing more to say No more ace to play…

The stench wafting from the hotel’s kitchen stunk worse than the goddamn town dump, and Gus McCready swallowed back her gag reflex. She lifted the bandana tied loosely around her neck and used it to covered her nose and mouth as she watched Waverly speak with the hotel’s manager. Waverly had cleaned herself up earlier in the lobby bathroom, washing away any signs that would indicate she had been crying, but she still looked wan and distracted. Whitney stood nearby with Jesse, who had his arm wrapped around her waist. Although Whitney nodded along to the conversation, her eyes kept drifting back to Waverly, obviously more concerned with her mom’s well-being than the spoiled dinner. It’s why Gus loved the kid so damn much.

Next to Gus, Wynonna was about to take another swig from her flask. But Gus snatched it from her hands.

“What the...,” Wynonna protested as Gus shrugged, dropped her bandana, and easily downed the rest in one gulp.

“I’m gonna need you as sober as possible if this turns out to be any more of a shitshow.” Gus smacked her lips and tossed the empty flask back at Wynonna, who caught it with a scowl, screwed the top back on, and slipped it back inside the inner pocket of her leather jacket. “Well, sober enough for you I guess.”

“Believe me, you’d be drinking too if you had to do what I had to do,” Wynonna muttered, slouching back against the wall behind them and absentmindedly swatting away the fronds of a potted palm tree.  

“Told Waverly the truth about Nicole?” Gus guessed.

Wynonna’s head snapped toward her so fast Gus was surprised she didn’t get whiplash. “How…?”

“I may be old, but I still know all.” Gus tapped a finger against her white curls then formed a V with her index and middle fingers and pointed at her own dark irises. “I see all.”

Wynonna narrowed her eyes. “So Whitney told you.”

“Whitney told me,” Gus confirmed, chuckling. “But only ‘cause I was ‘bout to fetch my 12 gauge when I saw Nicole.”

Wincing, Wynonna ran a hand through her thick brown mane, frowning when her fingers got snagged in a tangle. “Guess we should have let more people in on the plan.” She looked around. “Where is the prodigal gay anyway?”

Gus shrugged up a shoulder. “Getting tortured by Whit’s friends.”

“A fate worse than death.” Wynonna shook her head slowly, inordinately pleased that Nicole finally had to put up with Whitney’s exhausting friends. She straightened out. “Maybe I should go save her.”

“Nah, she’s a big girl.” Gus fiddled with the triangular edge of her bandana. “It can be part of her penance for leaving in the first place.”

They watched as Whitney excused herself from the conversation with the hotel manager, Waverly, and Jesse, and sauntered over to them.

“You two are thick as thieves.” Whitney crossed her arms. “What are you whispering about over here?”

“The trouble you’re stirring,” Gus said.

Whitney’s eyebrows rose. “Me? I had nothing to do with the food.”

“No, but you invited a whole ‘nother whirlwind of trouble that could be worse than even that,” Gus countered, canting her head toward Waverly.

Whitney grimaced, glancing at her mom before turning back to Wynonna. “How’d she take it?”

“About as well as can be expected,” Wynonna sniffed nonchalantly. “I didn’t get any barf on me at least.”

Whitney’s mouth dropped open. “She threw up!?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t nearly as gross as when she upchucked a tentacle monster.”

Whitney breathed out, devastated, and Gus hobbled forward to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“She had to know,” Gus said. “Now we’ve just gotta help her get through these wedding setbacks before she snaps.”

“Yeah.” Whitney nodded, still crestfallen. She rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s just a bit of bad luck. I mean, everything was fine until…,” she trailed off, brow furrowing.

“Until?” Wynonna prompted, arching one eyebrow.

Whitney swallowed. “Until yesterday.”

All three women stared at each other. Dread sunk in Gus’s stomach like one of Waverly’s favorite gluten-free pizzas.

“You mean when Nicole showed up?” Wynonna asked.

“No!” Whitney shook her head. “That’s…”

“A coincidence,” Gus finished. “I mean, your delinquent ass showed up yesterday too, Wynonna. A bunch of folks did.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “If there’s anything I’ve learned about Purgatory? There’s no such thing as coincidences.”

“What coincidences?” Waverly’s voice chimed in. She joined them with Jesse in tow.

“Nothing,” Wynonna, Gus, and Whitney answered simultaneously and not at all guiltily.

Waverly and Jesse both frowned at them.

“All right.” Waverly took a deep breath. “Well, dinner’s shot unless we find something else to eat. The hotel’s reimbursing us for the dinner and will foot the tab for whatever we get to substitute.”

“Chinese?” Wynonna offered. “Noodles for luck and a long-lasting marriage.”

“Long life,” Waverly corrected.

“What?”

“The noodles symbolize long life,” Waverly explained.

“Whatever,” Wynonna said and smirked at Whitney and Jesse. “A true test of ‘til death do you part.”

Jesse ignored Wynonna. “I’m fine with Chinese if you are, Whit,” he said.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Whitney agreed. “I can call and get it delivered.”

An idea flickered into Gus’s head. “Someone should pick it up.” She raised her hands to stop the oncoming protests. “With how everything’s been goin’ to hell in a handbasket lately, d’ya really wanna risk it bein’ delivered.”

“Good point,” Whitney said, looking around at her family. “So who’s going?”

“Waverly,” Gus said matter of factly. There could be no one else.

“Me?” Waverly pointed at herself.

“Whit and Jesse should stay and entertain their guests. Wynonna’s too drunk. And my bones are too brittle to go out in that damn cold again.” Gus pointed a wrinkled finger at Waverly. “So that leaves you. Unless you want to send Champ, Whit’s harebrained maids of honors, or Jesse’s clueless groomsmen.”

“Hey,” Whitney and Jesse protested at the same time.

Waverly sighed. “All right,” she said, very hesitantly. She couldn’t exactly argue with that logic.

“It’ll probably be a lot to carry,” Gus said, “so you should bring someone.”

“Who?”

“Maybe…”

Right on cue, Nicole emerged from the ballroom. She nervously looked over her shoulder and wiped her brow, as if she’d barely escaped a demon with her life. The universe couldn’t have planned it better.

“Haught.” Gus hid a devious smile.

“What?” Waverly squeaked. “No!”

Nicole stopped in her tracks, visibly gulping at the five pairs of eyes now staring at her. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Not at all.” Gus limped toward Nicole. “You’re just in time.” She slapped Nicole on the shoulder, hard, causing Nicole to stumble forward. “Food’s gone south so we need you to go pick up a new order before we all starve to death. With Waverly.”

Nicole’s eyes snapped toward Waverly’s and they held each other’s gazes for all of one second before they both blinked and looked away. It was fleeting, but damn, Gus swore she could still feel their connection, the way the air seemed to crackle and charge around the pair. The moment wasn’t lost on the others too, with Wynonna not-so-subtly rolling her eyes, Jesse watching with polite curiosity, and Whitney not even bothering to hide the stirrings of hope that lit up her face.

“Well?” Gus asked.

Nicole’s eyes darted to Whitney, who bit her bottom lip. “I’d be happy to help.” She turned her attention back to Waverly. “If that’s okay with Waverly.”

With her head ducked, Waverly seemed fascinated with the tips of her boots and each fiber of the plush carpet. “It’s fine,” she mumbled.

“What was that?” Gus asked, cupping her ear with her hand. “Speak up, girl.”

“I said it’s fine.” Waverly avoided Nicole’s gaze. “Grab your coat and meet me out front. I’ll bring the car ‘round.” She nodded at Wynonna. “Put the call in and tell them I’ll be there in 20.” With that, she walked off, bound and determined, leaving the rest of them to watch her retreating form.

“The hell you still doing here Haught?” Gus gruffed.

“Uh, right.” Nicole started for the elevators when Whitney called out her name. Nicole paused.

“Thanks,” Whitney said with a grateful smile.

Nicole smiled right on back, and Gus was struck by just how much they looked alike, from their dimples, to the curve of their lips, to the way the corners of their eyes crinkled just so. She wondered why Nicole hadn’t picked up on it.

“Anytime,” Nicole said, a look in her eyes that suggested that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t nearly as clueless as Gus thought..

When Nicole boarded the elevator, Wynonna whistled and stood beside Gus.

“Gotta hand it to you, Gus,” Wynonna said. “For an ancient fox, you’re still as sly as they come.”

“Don’t say I never loved you,” Gus said as Whitney flanked her to the right. “Either of you. Or those two idiots. Here’s hoping they don’t end up killin’ each other before the night’s through.”

Whitney only grinned and kissed Gus on the cheek.

The explosion knocked Nioole off her feet, the ringing in her ears damn near unbearable. The high-pitched sound pierced straight through her skull. Her body ached all over, the taste of metal sharp in her mouth.

Somehow through it all, she just barely made out the sound of a soft groan. But even though it was muddled, as if she was listening to something from underwater, she knew who it was.

Waverly.

Despite the heaviness of her eyelids, the sluggishness of her muscles, Nicole forced herself to open her eyes and roll over. Her heart stopped when her blurred vision came back into focus at Waverly sprawled next to her, cradling her ribs.

With a burst of adrenaline, Nicole pushed herself up and crawled toward Waverly. “Baby? Are you okay? 

Waverly blinked up at her, pupils blown. She most likely had a concussion. “Nicole…”

“Sh, it’s okay.” Despite her soreness, Nicole managed to scoop Waverly up. “I’ve got you.” She heard a demonic growl behind her, from the revenant who had set the small bomb that Nicole and Waverly had narrowly avoided. Cold panic rose in Nicole’s chest. She couldn’t reach for her firearm while she was holding Waverly.

“Nicole, run,” Waverly said.

“No, I’m not leaving you.” Nicole closed her eyes, getting ready to sprint as fast as she could from the revenant when a gunshot rang through the air and Wynonna appeared with Peacemaker in hand. Nicole didn’t think she’d ever felt happier to see the Heir. The gun’s sigils glowed gold. Wynonna nodded at Nicole, who strained to get to her feet, but managed somehow even with Waverly cradled in her arms.

She didn’t spare Wynonna or the revenant a second glance, focusing only on getting Waverly and their unborn child away from danger.

Waverly cranked the heat up in her SUV, heart pounding as Nicole opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat. She avoided Waverly’s gaze, and Waverly was thankful. If she looked directly into Nicole’s big brown eyes, she would surely burst into tears again. Wynonna’s revelation hung heavily in her mind. Her soul. Waverly didn’t know if hearing it was a relief or an added curse. She suspected it was the latter as she drove out from underneath the hotel’s porte-cochère and pulled onto the road.

She snuck a sidelong glance at Nicole, who kept her eyes trained firmly on the dim road ahead. The Christmas lights strung up on lampposts cast Nicole’s profile in light and shadow, alternating between blinking greens, reds, and whites. She looked so beautiful, and Waverly couldn’t believe she was there and not a figment of her imagination. How often had Waverly looked to her right and seen nothing but empty space, wishing Nicole had been there, smiling at her? Too often to count. And now, here Nicole was, sitting by her side. Where she always belonged, her heart squeezed out.

Gripping the steering wheel with numb hands, Waverly internally debated over how to tell Nicole the truth, or even to tell her at all. Nicole deserved to know. But what would it accomplish? Would the truth set Nicole free? Waverly hadn’t felt freed at all. When she thought of the time they missed together as a family, all because of something so silly, the pain was nearly debilitating. Could she do that to Nicole? Put her through even more pain? On one hand, Nicole would know that Waverly hadn’t given up on her. On them. But on the other, it wouldn’t fix the past. Wouldn’t give them back everything they had lost. Would ignorance in this case truly be bliss?

Waverly didn’t know where to even start, so instead she blurted out, “Is it too hot?”

“Hmm?”

“You can turn down the heat on your side if it’s too hot,” Waverly said, pointing at the temperature controls.

“I’m okay.” Nicole shifted in her seat. “I know you get cold easily.”

Waverly’s cheeks flushed over Nicole remembering something so inane. They continued to drive in silence. Waverly tried to focus on anything but her whirling thoughts. She even switched on the radio, the jingle bells of a Christmas carol replacing the hum of the engine and the sloshing of her tires through half-melted snow. But she couldn’t ignore how it was getting harder and harder to breath, the cabin air thick and stifling with overwhelming tension, that she finally cracked open her window and turned down the heat on her side.

They stopped at a red light, and Waverly could feel Nicole’s eyes on her, curious and patient as always.

“I’m sorry,” Waverly breathed out.

“It’s okay. It was getting a bit stuffy.”

“No, I mean,” Waverly licked her lips, “For earlier. I was… out of line.”

Nicole paused for a beat. “That’s okay too,” she replied.

“No, it’s not.” Waverly finally turned toward Nicole head on, her puffy jacket and slacks rubbing loudly against her leather seat. “You didn’t deserve that.”

Nicole’s eyes softened and Waverly’s breath stilled. She couldn’t look away. Didn’t even notice when the muted crimson glow in the car switched to green until someone honked at them from behind and sped around them.

Waverly jolted and broke eye contact, overcompensating by pressing a little too hard on the accelerator and pushing them both back into their seats.

“Thank you,” Nicole said. “For what it’s worth, I understand why you were upset.”

Inhaling evenly, Waverly shook her head. “Please don’t that.”

“Do what?”

“That thing you do where you excuse my bad behavior.” Waverly flipped on her turn signal and hung a right, the clicker slow in cadence compared to the rapid beating of her heart. She thought back to when the first two IVF cycles failed and how, no matter how hard Waverly pushed Nicole away, Nicole had always been so even-keeled save for their last fight.

 “I’m not excusing it. Just saying I understand.”

“Can’t you just, I dunno, be angry that I was an asshole?”

“Do you want me to be angry?”

“Yes! Then we both can move on.”

Nicole huffed out a tiny laugh. “Well, I’m not angry, sorry to say. But if you need me to say you were an asshole,” she shrugged, “then fine, you were an asshole.’

“Thank you!” Waverly threw her hands up and then quickly grabbed the wheel again. “Was that so hard?”

Nicole half-grinned, and Waverly couldn’t help but smile in response, and in that moment the unease between them ratcheted down a notch, enough for Waverly to at least breathe easier, if only by a bit. Waverly had missed this. Just being with Nicole. Her chest ached yet again.

“So,” Nicole pushed the vents pointed toward her up and away, redirecting some of the warm air toward Waverly, “where are we heading? I heard Panda Garden closed down a while ago.”

Waverly’s brow furrowed. “You knew about that?”

“Nedley,” Nicole explained. “I think he, ah, missed his calling to be the town reporter.”

“I see.” Waverly wondered about everything else Nedley had “reported” back to Nicole, and everything he hadn’t. “Well, closed down isn’t exactly 100 percent accurate.”

“No?”

“More like, blew up. Couple of revenants knew just where to hurt the Earp Heir.” Waverly felt rather than saw Nicole tense up, and just like that they were back on edge, an awkward tension suffusing the air around once more.

Nicole cleared her throat. “I hear they’re all gone now.” She turned her head to look out her window, hands balled up into loose fists in her lap. “You guys did good.”

“Yeah,” Waverly said, heart squeezing. “Yeah I guess we did.” She rested her right hand on the gearshift.

“I knew you would,” Nicole murmured so softly that Waverly nearly missed it.

It had been no small task, breaking the Earp curse, and Waverly tried not to think about how much easier it might have been if Nicole had been there. Not necessarily to fight the demons head on. But for moral support. To help keep an eye on Wynonna. To help protect Whitney. Or even just to hold Waverly when the fear and uncertainty and looming danger became too much to bear. She tried not to think about how Nicole might have been there if things had happened differently, if mistakes that in hindsight seemed so ridiculous hadn’t occurred.

Waverly shook her head. What was done was done. Neither of them could change the past no matter how much they wished they could.

“After the restaurant was destroyed,” Waverly said, “the owners got an anonymous donation to build a new one and call it The Flaming Dragon.” Out of the corner of her eye, Waverly could see Nicole smile.

 “I’m guessing that donor knew Purgatory would be in trouble if certain residents didn’t get their fix of Gong Bao chicken or sweet and sour soup.”

“You remember all that?” Waverly didn’t mean to ask the question out loud, but she did.

“I remember everything.”

Waverly stared straight ahead as she slowed the car to another halt at a stop sign, too afraid to look Nicole again in the eye, hating the way her heart thudded painfully against her ribs.

A white van drove through the intersection from the left, a colorful decal emblazoned on its side. Waverly froze.

“The Bryan Madams.” Nicole chuckled.

“Holy shit.” Waverly gaped.

“Cute, right?”

“No!” Waverly shook her head.

“No?”

“I mean, yes, but,” Waverly gunned the engine, tires squealing on asphalt, and set off in hot pursuit, “that’s the van!”

“Wha?” Nicole’s hand flew to the roof handle and wrapped around it in a white-knuckle grip. “What van?”

Waverly’s sudden chase didn’t go unnoticed by the van’s driver, which sped up down the two-lane road toward the industrial sector. “The wedding band’s van,” she gritted her teeth. “It was…”

“Stolen?”

Waverly’s head whipped toward Nicole. “How the hell did you know that?”

“Chrissy was at the graveyard when the call came in.” Nicole braced her left hand on the dashboard when Waverly pressed even harder on the accelerator.

“Jeez, did you visit half of Purgatory in the, what, 12 hours you’ve been here?” Waverly muttered, slamming on the brakes and hanging a sharp right to keep up with the van.

“Christ Wave!” Nicole pushed herself back into her seat, fumbling in her pocket for her phone, but dropping it when the van suddenly veered down an alleyway and Waverly promptly followed. “Dammit. Don’t you think you should call the cops?”

“And have something else go wrong?” She brought the SUV to a screeching halt in the alley when the van pulled into an empty garage. “No offense to Chrissy, but her deputies couldn’t even keep a drunk in the drunk tank last night, so I’m not about to trust them with this.”

“They could be dangerous,” Nicole protested.

Waverly reached behind into the backseat and unzipped something. She pulled out a short-barreled shotgun. “So can I.”

Nicole’s eyebrows shot up, lips slowly stretching into a smile despite her reluctance. “Glad to see some things don’t change.”

Grinning, Waverly hopped out of the car, rounding the front. She waited for Nicole to retrieve her phone and join her.

“Do you still keep a piece in your sock?” Waverly asked as she moved toward the van, now idling in the garage, its tail lights glowing bright red. A cloud of exhaust fumes rose its tailpipe until the engine abruptly cut off. The windows were tinted too dark to see the driver or any other possible passengers.

“No.” Nicole dialed out a number on her phone. “I haven’t had the need. Not since I…” She shrugged up a shoulder, neither of them needing her to finish the sentence.

“Hey!” Waverly shouted at the van. “Whoever’s in there, come out slowly.”

They heard the door unlock with a click and Waverly tensed. Before Waverly could blink, the door flew open and someone--or something--bum rushed her in a hazy blur of speed and surprise. She was bowled over before she could even think to aim or pull the trigger of her gun, which was yanked from her grip. Her back collided painfully with the hard floor, breath knocked clear out of her lungs. Waverly heard something crack against cement before the sound of a garage door motor rumbled and the overhead door slammed shut.

Groaning, Waverly rolled to her side and pushed herself up. She scrambled unsteadily to her feet when she saw Nicole lying prone a few feet away, her cell phone in pieces nearby.

“Nicole,” Waverly breathed out, crouching down next to her. She laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Nicole let out a soft moan as she blinked her eyes open. She had a small cut above her left eyebrow, shallow, but oozing blood. Waverly helped her into a sitting position. Nicole’s eyes darted to her broken phone and the closed garage door. “I’m guessing we’re trapped?”

“Looks like it.” Waverly smiled apologetically and fished out a packet of issues from her pocket. She pulled one out and pressed it against the cut. Nicole sucked in a pained breath. “Sorry.”

“Never a dull moment with you Earps, huh?” Nicole half grinned, half grimaced.

“Bet this isn’t what you signed up for when you had to come here for work.” Waverly couldn’t stop her stomach from clenching with guilt at the way Nicole watched her, eyes deep and dark and wide.

“No,” Nicole admitted. “But I don’t mind.”

But you did, Waverly thought. Didn’t you?

It was partly why Nicole had left, and Waverly was reminded of the long nights she cried herself to sleep because of it. Reminded of emptiness and loneliness mixed in with the joy of the first moment she held Whitney in her arms, thinking how tiny ears looked exactly like a certain missing deputy’s ears. It reminded her of the longest nine months of her life, dealing with being pregnant alone. It reminded her of the last time she’d seen those eyes watching her, quivering with emotion as Waverly had screamed words she didn’t even mean at the time.

Waverly didn’t know that an already broken heart could yet splinter into a thousand more pieces. But she found out that it could, painfully so, as she pressed her cell phone to her ear and listened to the apologetic platitudes of the fertility nurse. It hurt more than she thought possible, more than the bruised ribs and concussion she had received from the explosion a few days ago. Waverly closed her eyes, stifled a sob, and nodded.

“Of course,” she said, voice thick. “I understand. Thanks Jo.”

She hung up and took a deep, shuddering breath. She had thought for sure that this time it would work. They had done everything right and on time. Cut out caffeine and alcohol. Ate so healthy that even Wynonna had scaled back on all her Gong Bao chicken, whiskey, and donuts to support her. And it still wasn’t enough. How was she going to tell Nicole?

Waverly could hear her fiancée pacing in the kitchen, arguing with Becky on the phone for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past few weeks. Waverly absentmindedly twisted the simple solitaire engagement ring on her finger as she listened to the one-sided conversation.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she heard Nicole say. “We’ll think about it. Why? Because what if…” A huff. “Christ, Becky, how many times do I have to tell you? It’s my goddamn money and I can do what I like with it.”

Nicole sounded frustrated and angry, which was par for the course whenever she talked to Becky. Waverly wished she could take it from Nicole. But Waverly could barely let go of those emotions herself.

And now, all she would do was add to them. Nicole’s call ended with a fairly loud, “Fuck off,” followed by the sharp clatter of her phone landing on laminate countertop. Nicole emerged from the kitchen, tense and agitated. It had become Nicole’s resting state lately that sometimes Waverly hardly recognized her. The laidback deputy she had met so long ago had been missing for quite some time. Waverly was ashamed to realize she didn't know quite when the transition happened--sometime after the first failure--and she didn’t know if that Nicole would ever come back. Waverly wondered if Nicole felt the same about her.

“Becky says hi,” Nicole said, clipped. She collapsed next to Waverly on the couch. The springs in the worn cushions squeaked in protest.

“How is Ms. Sunshine?” Waverly asked, trying to keep the mood light. There was only a slight quiver in the question. Nicole didn’t notice.

“Oh, you know, same shit, different toilet.” Wearily, Nicole ran her hands down her face. “They want us to visit for the holidays.”

“Oh.” That was unexpected. “What did you say?”

“That’d we’d think about it.” Nicole swiveled her head toward Waverly. “Would you want to go?”

Waverly hesitated. Nicole’s family had made it no secret that they disapproved of Nicole’s life and everything--scratch that, everyone--in it. They were less than pleased when Nicole announced their engagement, and her sister in particular went completely ballistic when she found out about the IVF. Waverly knew how important family was to Nicole, but the thought of spending the holidays with them after their second loss, to see relief or smug satisfaction on their faces...

“I don’t know,” Waverly finally said.

“Why?” Nicole sat up straight.

Waverly almost laughed. “Are you kidding? Your family doesn’t like me.”

“They like you just fine.”

“No, they don’t think I’m good enough for you.”

“That’s not true,” Nicole protested. “Wave, they just haven’t had a chance to get to know you. And if they did, they’d know that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 “Am I?”

Nicole frowned. “Of course you are!”

Waverly wasn’t so sure. Not anymore. There was no denying that things had been off ever since their first IVF failure, both of them so wrapped up in trying to mask their grief and tiptoe around each other. “If you want to go, you should go. I just want to spend time with my family here.”

It was the wrong thing to say.

“Your family?” Nicole asked, hurt. “What the hell am I then?”

“Nicole...”

“When the hell are you gonna see us as a family?”

Waverly shook her head. “You know I don’t mean it like that. It’s just Wynonna…”

“Wynonna, of course.” Nicole rolled her eyes and Waverly’s hackles rose.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Nicole said as she got to her feet and walked toward the window, putting as much distance between them as possible.

“No, clearly it’s not nothing. Spit it out.”

Nicole sighed harshly. “If you don’t want to go just say it. Don’t hide behind the person who left you for three years without a second thought.”

Waverly felt like she had been slapped across the face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Wynonna’s an adult, Wave. She doesn’t need you here to babysit her or fight her battles for her.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” The heat of Waverly’s anger escalated, picking up more and more steam like a runaway train. “Where is this coming from?”

Nicole crossed her arms. “I just think you and the baby would be safer if we got away for a little while.”

Waverly’s heart clenched so hard she couldn’t breath. “Away from Wynonna?”

“Away from all the crazy!” Nicole threw her hands up. “With all the revenants and witches and demons and whatever the hell is out there. It can’t be good for either of you. Hell, one of them nearly killed you the other day, Waverly.”

“Well it didn’t.” Waverly angrily swiped at her eyes. “And you don’t have to worry about the baby.”

“And why is that?”

“Because we don’t have one!”

That stopped Nicole cold. A deafening silence surrounded them.

“What?” Nicole asked, stunned.

“I just got off the phone with Jo and,” Waverly shrugged helplessly, “It didn’t work. I guess you can say you told me so.”

“Baby…” Nicole stepped forward, but Waverly put up a hand to stop her.

“I mean, that’s what you were implying, wasn’t it? That I put our baby in danger.”

“Wave, no...”

Knees wobbling, Waverly stood. “You knew what you were getting into when you decided to be with me. The curse...”

“I didn’t sign up for that!” Nicole said, exasperated. “I signed up for you, Waverly. You and me and making our own family someday. I’m not risking another life over these revenants and your sister.”

“The curse and me are a package deal!” Waverly was sure the entire apartment building could hear them but she honestly couldn’t care less.

“You are not the heir!” Nicole shouted.

The words were like a knife straight through Waverly’s heart. “Fuck you,” Waverly spit out, seeing nothing but red.

“Fuck me?” Nicole pointed at herself incredulously.

“Yes, fuck you!” She said, seething, breaths coming in harsh pants. “If you don’t know how much… If you can’t accept that I… then you’re not the person I thought you were.”

“Maybe I never was,” Nicole said.

“And maybe this was a mistake,” Waverly said, lifting up her left hand, the diamond on her ring finger catching the light just so. “All of it. Nothing but a waste of time and money.”

Nicole’s mouth dropped open. “Wave, you don’t meant that,” her voice cracked.

“Maybe I do.” And with that Waverly left, clinging to her fury, the only thing that allowed her to ignore the hollowness within.

Nicole didn’t want to let on just how much her head hurt. It wasn’t the break in the skin that was still bleeding, but rather a newly formed headache from the impact. It wasn’t a concussion, she’d had a handful back in the day when it wasn’t uncommon for her to get thrown through a door or a window pane, but it was starting to piss her off. She looked over at Waverly who had moved to the door of the garage, hands on hips as she inspected their options.

There weren’t a lot, Nicole knew. Even twenty years ago, she knew about the industrial part of Purgatory enough to know the only way to get out of the doors was to have a key. The open plains around Purgatory left the town susceptible to tornadoes and while most of the homes could be knocked over by a simple tree falling, the industrial buildings were built to last.

Trapped in a room with Waverly Earp and a mountain of history. Nicole would have laughed if not for the throbbing in her skull.

God, she had a new client meeting on Monday. She was going to show up looking like she joined a fight club. ‘What did you do this weekend?’ she imagined either her mother or father asking. ‘Oh, just got attacked by possibly a demon possibly just a drunken hillbilly in Purgatory with Waverly Earp, yes that Waverly Earp.’ It was funny enough to lure a chuckle out of her.

“What’s so funny?” Waverly asked suddenly.

Nicole had the sense to blush. “Just imagining explaining my beaten mug to my parents.” She waved off the impending apology that Waverly was about to get into. “Find anything interesting?”

Waverly bit her bottom lip, obviously still wanting to say something, but thankfully she decided against it. “There’s a window.” She pointed to the glass rectangle that would possibly be big enough for Waverly to crawl through if it could be opened. “I just need to find something to pull under it so I can try climbing up. Stupid short genes.”

Eyeing the window, Nicole worked the math in her head before pushing herself up off the ground. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

 Waverly froze. “What?”

 “I don’t really see anything you can drag over there so… I’ll give you a boost.”

 There was a slight hesitation as Waverly moved slowly to the window, looking from Nicole to the window.

Nicole rolled her eyes. “I’m not trying to cop a feel, Waverly. We’re both adults here.”

A strange look came over Waverly’s face. Disappointment? “You’re right.”

Intertwining her fingers, Nicole leaned back against the wall under the window, facing Waverly. “Okay.”

An uncertain look on her face, Waverly stepped close, her hands settling on Nicole’s shoulders. There was another hesitation before she shook her head, urging Nicole to bend down a little before settling her boot in Nicole’s hands.

This close, Nicole tried not to think too much, tried not to focus on the warmth of Waverly’s hands she swore she could feel through her coat. She tried not to think of the way Waverly’s eyes locked with her own for the briefest of moments before she was pushing upwards and Nicole was carrying her easily. She was lighter than Nicole remembered, or maybe she’d just forgotten what it felt like to lift her.

What the hell had she been thinking, Nicole wondered as she closed her eyes, concentrating on not dropping Waverly. It was too much. Too close. Too intimate to be safe.

“Shitballs.” Waverly exhaled in frustration. “Whoever the maintenance is for this building really needs to do a better job. It’s rusted shut.”

“Okay.” Nicole thought for a second, bracing her back against the wall. “Maybe you can shoot it open?”

Waverly sighed loudly. “No, I’m pretty sure whoever attacked us grabbed my gun on the way out.” There was a brief pause before she tapped Nicole’s shoulder. “You can let me down.”

Releasing her hold, Nicole slowed Waverly’s descent with her arms around her body. It was just the barest second when Waverly’s feet touched the ground and Nicole’s arms were still around her, but it felt like an eternity, as if time had slowed to a standstill that gave her enough time to admire the changes to Waverly’s face after all this time. She was still beautiful, but had lost a lot of her innocence. How much of that had been being a mother, and how much had been from the heartache caused by Nicole?

Twenty years ago, it would have been the perfect opportunity to steal a kiss, and Nicole couldn’t help but wonder if the same thought occurred to Waverly as she watched her face twist from a slight smile into a confused frustration and Waverly pulled away as soon as Nicole dropped her arms.

“Well,” Nicole cleared her throat. “That’s a no go.” She looked around, trying to put space between them while also trying to find any solution and coming up empty. She’d been out of the demon-hunting business for too long, or maybe it was the headache, but she just wanted to sit and take a breather. “Maybe we should just… wait for someone to come along.”

“We have the van.” Waverly was pulling herself into the vehicle, checking for the keys. “Finally something good...” She growled as the engine turned over, the vehicle sputtering to life. “When in doubt, bust your way out.”

“Waverly, these doors were meant to withstand a tornado. You’re just going to get hurt.”

Waverly rolled her eyes. “If you’re not going to offer any helpful solutions, I’d appreciate it if you just… shut up.”

“Shut up?” Nicole’s eyes narrowed. She was surprised at how easily her emotions flipped,  confusion and sorrow turning to aggravation.  “You can’t just bust your way out of everything. I get it, you’re an Earp, but not everything can be solved with force.”

“Yeah well sometimes you just don’t have the option to turn around and do nothing.” Waverly looked surprised that the words came out and Nicole swallowed audibly. “I’m not going to just give up.” Waverly’s voice broke and her eyes were filled with tears. Nicole knew they weren’t just talking about the door.

“Hey.” Nicole reached out to open the door. The last thing she wanted was for Waverly to get hurt.

Buckling the seatbelt, Waverly shook her head. “I’m not giving up.” She repeated, her voice a bare whisper before yanking the door closed and flooring the gas pedal, tires squealing against the pavement and kicking up black smoke before the van suddenly lurched into movement.

“Waverly!” Nicole called out, eyes wide as the van crashed against the door in a deafening boom. Her already throbbing headache screamed at her in agony but she ignored it as she ran to where the crippled van was pressed against the unmoving door. Of course it looked like all the damage was done to the van, but Nicole was more worried about the driver as she pulled open the door, finding Waverly staring out the windshield in shock, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hey.” Reaching in, Nicole unbuckled the seat-belt and Waverly seemed to pour out of the driver seat, somehow ending up in Nicole’s arms. For a moment, Nicole froze, remembering the last time she’d cradled her this way, that last attack that had started the snowball of emotions that led to… she shook her head, focusing on the here and now. Waverly barely weighed anything as their bodies molded together, twenty years of distance dissolving into nothing for the longest moment until Nicole swallowed audibly. She held Waverly’s form carefully, carrying her away from the smoking vehicle before kneeling and setting her down on the ground. “Are you hurt?”

Waverly scrubbed away her tears, shaking her head quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She took a shuddered breath, regaining her composure. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Nicole gave her a sad smile. “We’ll get out of this.” She knew there were a dozen layers to their conversation, a dozen dimensions filled with what could have beens and if onlys, but she couldn’t let them get distracted. “We just need a little patience, someone will notice we’re missing and your car is right outside.”

Waverly looked up at the word patience, her eyes glistening with more unshed tears.

“Waves?”

Waverly curled in on herself, hugging the pillow to her chest. She’d been up for two days straight now, unable to find even the slightest bit of solace in sleep. Not since Nicole had left. Squeezing the pillow tight, she could still smell Nicole’s shampoo on it.

Wynonna got tired of waiting, and the door clicked open. “Waves.”

The bed shifted and Waverly flinched just slightly as an arm wrapped around her waist, a hand pressing against her stomach and the vacant emptiness that only reminded her of how much of a failure she was. She recognized Wynonna’s longer form, always so tense even when trying to be comforting. “Hey, Baby Girl,” Wynonna kept her voice soft and low, as if her voice could possibly shatter Waverly’s soul anymore than it already was.

Waverly didn't say anything, just hugged her pillow tighter,  staring at the framed picture on the nightstand on Nicole's side of the bed -- a smiling version of a couple she barely recognized anymore.

How had things gotten so bad? How could she have let them? Fresh tears didn't even bother to pool in her eyes before spilling out,  following the same saline trails left behind by their predecessors.

“Look,” Wynonna spoke,  running her fingers through the tangle of her hair. “Nicole loves you,  and you love her. She'll be back.”

Waverly didn't have the strength to be hopeful.  Not anymore.  The part of her that was all positivity and hope,  Nicole had taken that part with her to Chicago.

“I know I'm the last person that should say anything.  Gods know I've screwed up my own love life a hundred times over, but you and Nicole, you guys are like ying and yang, completely different but part of each other.”

Waverly felt the brush of lips against her temple accompanied with the scent of Whiskey.

“Don’t worry, Waves. Be patient. She’ll be back, even if I have to go to Chicago and drag her back myself.”

Patient. Waverly scoffed internally. If there was one trait all Earps lacked, it was patience.

Patience. Waverly couldn’t stop the tears from falling again. They’d had their problems in the beginning, but she’d never felt so connected to anyone in her entire life and the pain was unbearable thinking about how she’d given up on Nicole, on the two of them, and that had resulted in twenty years of single parenthood she could have avoided. How was she even going to make it up to Nicole? Nicole who had missed everything.

Whitney’s first steps at the luring of Wynonna and a donut.

She’d missed Whitney’s first mumbled word that had ending up being a screamed “Doc” one day when he’d popped up unannounced with toys and cookies for her.

Okay maybe Nicole would not have approved of Whit joining the cheerleading squad for the Blue Devils, but that would have been an argument she would have loved to have, and now here they were, twenty years later, locked in a garage just like old times and she couldn’t stop crying.

It had taken a village to raise the youngest Earp, and it was a village that should have included Nicole.

“Waverly.” Nicole’s voice was soft as she hesitated briefly before wrapping an arm around Waverly’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug.

Waverly absorbed the warmth greedily. She knew she shouldn’t allow herself to fall into the embrace, allowing memories and emotions to consume her, but for just the barest of moments, she could pretend things hadn’t changed at all, that they were still in their 20s and chasing down some stupid revenant that had been wreaking havoc.

But they weren’t, and Waverly felt the loss of possibilities in her heart. They were so much older now. She had… they had a daughter about to hit 21 in less than a week and getting married in a matter of days. “I’m sorry.” Waverly sniffled, looking up into concerned eyes. “I should have listened to you.”

“You’re allowed to question me, Waverly.” Nicole looked down, suddenly unable to look at her. “I’m not always right.”  And suddenly she was pulling away, putting space between herself and Waverly as she moved to the small accident scene.

It wasn’t fair to Nicole, either way. Telling her or not telling her. Both held their own burdens, but Waverly could see it in Nicole’s eyes, pools of caramel heavy with guilt and sorrow. Nicole blamed herself for leaving, that much was obvious to Waverly, and to a point it was true. Nicole had left, returned home to Chicago without a second look back, but Waverly didn’t have the strength to be angry about that, not when Nicole hadn’t known the whole story.

“Are you okay?”

Waverly blinked, having not realized Nicole was speaking to her. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Nicole pursed her lips, doubt coloring her gaze as she stood with hands hooked in the waist of her slacks. It was a very familiar pose and Waverly barely stopped herself from crying again. “You sure you’re okay?” Nicole gave her a worried look. “I just want to move the van back, see if you did any damage to the door at all.”

Waverly nodded, hugging her knees to her chest.

Nicole put the van back into park a few meters away, slipping out and moving in front of it. “Well, Waves. You sure Earped that van up.” She commented with a chuckle before inspecting the door. “Not the door though. There’s some denting, but the van will give long before the door will.” With a sigh, she took a seat on the ground, not far from Waverly but leaning back against the door. “I think we’re stuck here till someone comes along.”  

They were quiet for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably more like a few minutes before Waverly knew she had to say something. “Nicole?” Waverly picked at a scuff mark on one of the knees of her slacks.

Nicole was probing her forehead, wincing slightly. “Yeah?” When Waverly didn’t speak right away, she turned to look at her, a question in her eyes.

Waverly knew she needed to tell her, needed to reveal the truth that had been hidden from the both of them. “I… um…” But still the words stuck in her throat, refusing to emerge.They were stuck together, there was no escaping, and it was probably the best moment they would get, but looking up into those dark eyes that watched her with a gentle concern, she couldn’t do it. How could she condemn Nicole to the agony that she herself felt eating her alive? “Feels like old times, huh?”

Nicole smiled, turning away and resting her head back against the gate. “Not exactly like old times, but pretty close.”

No, not at all like old times. Old times would leave her pressed against Nicole’s side, an arm wrapped around her shoulder as Nicole’s other hand would be wrapped around her own. If Waverly closed her eyes, she could feel the ghost of a thumb brushing over her knuckles and it brought tears to her eyes again, threatening to spill and reveal more secrets than her mouth ever could.

Waverly knew she had to tell her. It wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t fair to Whitney. It was too late for Nicole and herself, half a lifetime wasted because of a miscommunication, but Whitney had her whole life ahead of her. She deserved to have her mother… her biological mother. “Nicole…” She spoke again, only to have a bright light shine in from beneath the door, the sound of a car approaching.

“Please don’t be a damn demon.” Nicole grumbled as she stood, dusting off her black slacks, getting ready to bang on the door, to get the attention of whoever it was.

“You two in there?” A familiar voice sounded from the other side.

“Chrissy.” Waverly breathed a sigh of relief as she stood, dusting off the seat of her pants. “Nicole and I got locked in, Sheriff.” She spoke loudly. “Don’t suppose you can help us out?”

There was a long silence instead of a response and Waverly was beginning to wonder if Chrissy heard her when suddenly there was a disgruntled mechanical sound and the door began to move ever so slowly. “There are some folks wondering where you are.” Chrissy’s voice was louder now as more space formed between the door and ground. “Well… wondering where their supper is really.”

“Sounds about right.” Waverly laughed, looking up at Nicole nervously. With the sudden presence of the sheriff, Nicole had put more space between them, more than likely to prevent the rumor mill from churning out a few new bits about the two of them locked together for over an hour.

“Y’all alright?” Chrissy Nedley’s form began to reveal itself, watching as the door raised ever so slowly, the newly formed dents causing the gears to grind in protest. “You sure did a number on this.”

“Sorry, we were trying to get out and the only thing we really had was the van.” Waverly pointed a thumb over her shoulder, the back of the van banged up and dented. “They sure do make these doors sturdy. How did you know where we were?”

 Clipping the keyring full of various keys back to her belt, Chrissy shrugged. “Your sister called asking me to track either your phone or Nicole’s. Something about late chinese food… she sounded pretty tanked and I would have ignored it but we’d received a call that cut off which matched the number Wynonna gave us for Nicole so…”

Nicole sighed softly. “Thanks Chrissy. I was trying to call but I dropped it.”

Chrissy nodded. “Well we got a general area track and after that it was just a matter of patrol and finding Waverly’s car. You guys seem to have had a night...”

Nodding, Nicole winced as she touch her cut. “Neither of us got a look at the driver, but something is going seriously wrong around here.”

“I’ve got some boys coming down to gather forensics. Don’t suppose either of you would be willing to give me a statement?”

“I think…”

“We’re good.” Waverly spoke up quickly. “We saw the stolen van, followed it. We didn’t see who was driving and don’t know why they attacked us.” She spoke matter of factly, casting a look at Nicole.

Waverly expected surprise from Nicole and got it,  no doubt expecting some sort of fight from Chrissy. Instead, the sheriff pursed her lips in hesitation, “Alright then.” Chrissy nodded, hands dropping to her belt. She didn’t ask any further questions, obviously used to the routine.

Moving to her SUV, Waverly couldn’t help but wonder if Nicole would have ever be able to have done that job. She’d been driven so much by honesty and integrity, barely able to keep track of the small-town politics that kept everything running smoothly. She thought about a life of Nicole covering things up, compromising her own morals making the extraordinary pass as ordinary.

She couldn’t see Nicole doing it easily. Even the few years she’d done it before leaving, with Nedley taking most of the guff and leading the way in cover-ups, Nicole had begun to feel the daily strain of dishonesty.

But she'd done it, for Waverly, and she probably would have continued to, but would she have been happy?

Waverly saw her chatting with Chrissy and rolled her eyes, honking the horn. They had a dinner to get back to. When eyes turned gold in the headlights looked up her way,  and a familiar smile graced Nicole's features, Waverly felt her heart skip a beat. She would have made sure Nicole was happy, or at least would have tried to if she had gotten the chance.

[beer-and-breakdowns]

1-117 ;)

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I guess I’m not too confused at the minute, but a confusing situation I deal with sometimes is falling for someone that I probably shouldnt, and not knowing how to and not being able to deal with it.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes. Rarely though.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Yes, and no. I’d be concerned and probably kind of annoyed, but I guess its their life, yano.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Yeah! Sometimes too easy, but I’m a positive dude.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

I was probably listening to music knowing me

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my boi, Leo

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

My heart would drop and I would get upset and angry. I would probably confront my partner and take it from there.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Yeah, to an extent. I’m happy with it, we’re not NOT close, I guess we could be closer, but we’re close!

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

Hahahahaha, next joke

10: What are you listening to?

Shadows Fall, and I highly recommend them to anyone and anything with ears

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Ummmmmmm, this is hard. Probably something lemony, like 7-up or sprite, but my answer would probably be different tomorrow

12: Do you like hickeys?

Kinda, not gonna lie. In small amounts obviously, lets not look battle scarred… unless thats ur thing

13: What time do you go to bed?

Way later than what is healthy

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

I dont think so

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

After some highly scientific testing… nope

16: Do you always answer your texts?

I try but I’m horrible at seeing messages and notifications

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

Odd question, no, quite the opposite actually

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Today!

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

If prof. pictures count, sure

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I think I was too tired to think, so probably just thoughts about actually sleeping

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

Nope… unless theres a ghost in here o.o

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Depends

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Probably not

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

I guess, but I dont dwell on that stuff

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Nope

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

Grey. Not black, for once.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Actually, yes sometimes

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Maybe

29: Do you have a best friend?

Yup!!:)

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Heck no

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

I had a text from my dad lmao

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I dont think so

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yup

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

20

35: How many more days until your birthday?

Woah, ummm, 88 I think

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

Nope, but I have been on a vacation at the start of summer already so probably nothing, rip

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

More than my own sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Nah

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Maybe, but I’m not sure

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yup

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends, if you’re both consenting adults then nope, if you’re happy, you’re happy

42: Are you available?

You know it

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

Well, high school actually JUST ended for me, so one

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

If I HAD to, probably nose I guss maybe?? I’m not a huge piercing guy so idk

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

Definitely, I’m friends with most of my exes, just dependa why you borke up

46: Do you regret anything?

Kinda, maybe, but again, I tend not to dwell

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Good music and a love interest… sounds like the title of something relatively mediocre hahaha

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

Yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

Probably

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Ummmm, a few reasons

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

Probably

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Very very very rarely

53: What was the last thing you ate?

Pizza, lmao, whats health?

54: Did you get any compliments today?

I think, maybe

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Very unsure

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

I think so

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Wales for 100% of my life

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Ages ago, I dont go anywhere hahaha

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Yeah, but not like THE spin the bottle, just the version everyone plays as kids, so actually, no

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No, thats lame

62: Who do you text the most?

I dont text, sooooo, I guess my dad

63: What was the last movie you saw?

Kong: Skull Island, and it wasn’t great, not gonna lie folks

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

I dont have one, so literally nothing hahaha

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

None that I can remember, so if I did have any, they must have been pretty lame, but that was a decent year. MITB 2011, Cena Vs. Punk, Great match ;)

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nope

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Nah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

Yeah, why not

69: Picture of yourself?

It’ll be on the end, yo

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Monogamous, but if people are happy in oepn ended relationships I got no issues

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Yup

72: What do you most like about making out?

Everything. Thats a cheap answer but making out is one of my favourite things on this planet.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nope

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Mixed bag really, sometimes

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Depends, I like faces obviously. Hair can be really pretty. Um, I dunno if this is weird but hands can be pretty sometimes I guess hahaha. Midriffs are cool too h'okay

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

I cant remember tbh, is that bad??

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

Nope

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Y O U

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

If I really likes them and I was ready for the responsibility yeah. Right now, probably not.

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Yeah

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Not a lot of people

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

Nope

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Like, never hahaha

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Yeah

86: How can I win your heart?

Have a good taste in music, be funny, be as kind and caring as you can be and support me at all times, just love me gosh darn it

87: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching YouTube videos

89: Do you cook?

I cant cook a lot of dishes, but yeah I think I can

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Depends what ya mean by “flame”

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Yes

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Monogamous, sometimes too quickly

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

This is gonna feel petty, but its a petty question. I have a major thing for blonde hair. I like natural looks, nothing fancy or over the top. Small is cute, but then so is tall sometimes, depends on the person.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

The right relationshipMoneyA custom built guitarA record deal

95: Are you a player?

No

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

Nope

97: Are you a tease?

I can be I guess

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Not YET

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

Yeah

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Both are AWESOME, depends on the situation, I guess off the top of my head, kisses

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I can be

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Depends, sometimes its their personality, other times its their appearence, depensa what I’m paying more attention to at the time

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yeah

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

Nah, thats bad, it would suck, but I’d do the right thing

106: Do you flirt a lot?

Sometimes

107: Your last kiss?

My ex

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

Maybe, but idk

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Nooe

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

The person I like

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

Nope

112: Does someone like you currently?

I have no idea

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yup

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Honestly, serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Nope

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Depends on how good the relationship is

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

Nice question ;)

[ecotone99]

[SF] 24 hours

​

MEET ME AT THE AIRPORT AT 9. BE THERE!

I reread the text.

I read it again.

Lillian was an ex-lover of ours. It was mid week but the hassle might be worth it. My beautiful wife Nicole was working from home today. My mind was reeling with the possibilities. I looked at the clock, it was 4:06. I got up and sent a text to my supervisor that I was sick and wouldn’t be in today. I would get some serious shit tomorrow but I was really hoping it would be worth it. I looked at my beautiful wife and then rolled out of bed.

I quietly went through my morning routine. I let the dog out, started coffee fed the dog, blah blah blah. I poured her a cup when she came out. She was still wearing her pajamas as well, the benefits of being able to work from home.

“What’s the occasion? No work?” she asked.

“I called in sick. Lillian texted me. She wants to meet at the airport at 9.” I said. “Can you take off so we can both meet her?”

“Ha!” she said wrapping her arms around me, “And here I thought I was something special. She texted me too. Ya I have enough time off. I’ll take an hour or two.” We shared a brief kiss before I pulled away to flip the bacon. “Just in case she wants to play today, I’ll tell work that I’m not feeling well and may have to take the day off. I’m going to shower and log in for an hour though.”

“Ok. After I eat I will change the oil in my truck and shower then. Don’t take too long, your eggs are going in th pan in four minutes.” I said as I opened the fridge.

A half hour later we had eaten and I put on some work clothes. A half hour after that, I jumped in the shower. I got dressed and went to my computer.

“Woah! All dressed up I see. Hoping to get lucky?” My wife asked when I walked past her.

“Well ya!” I said with feigned sarcasm. If I can’t turn you on I’m hoping for a quickie with her anyway!”

She was smiling but her expression changed and I thought I had gone too far. “I’m thinking about her message. She said to meet her in all caps. She doesn’t always type like that.”

“Maybe she just really wants to see us?”

“Maybe.” She paused, “Maybe it’s more. I mean she works for the government.”

“I think you worry a lot.” I teased.

“Me worried!?! Mister super prepper!?! You are so funny.” She faked an exasperated tone.

We both laughed. “Hey if we leave now I can get us some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.”I said.

“I can’t leave quite yet.” She returned her attention to her laptop.

“I’ll pick it up and then stop to get you. DD is in the other direction anyway.” I offered.

“Great. Text me.”

I collected my things and headed out for our Prius. I got three coffees and texted my wife. She was waiting in front of the house and we were off to the airport. We got another text from Lillian about where to meet her. We got there and only waited a minute or two before she showed up.

Normally she was a stunning petite blond with never a hair out of place so I immediately knew something was wrong, she was just … off. Her blond hair showed almost a quarter inch of auburn roots, her suit coat was slightly wrinkled, she looked really tired and her makeup was… old? Nicole and I looked at each other with equally surprised expressions so I know she noticed it too.

Lillian paused and quickly kissed us each on the cheek. She then walked away toward a bunch of open seats in a bar area. Since it was so early the bar was still closed. She opened her shoulder bag and removed another smaller bag and pointedly put her phone in it then motioned for us to do the same. After the phones were safely in the small bag she asked, “Do you have any other electronics? It’s really important, ipad, tablet, work phone, nothing?”

We looked at each other and said no.

She looked down at the Rolex on her wrist then back up at us. “I know that this is going to sound like I’m crazy but remember that conversation we had after you two met and before we all had sex the first time? Good. That promise of honesty stands during all of what I’m about to say. I love you both and treasure our friendship beyond anything.”

She spoke so fast I didn’t even have time to get truly fearful or scared.

“You know that virus in Asia? It has mutated. About ten percent of the people don’t die and become immune, about ten percent die outright. About fifty percent die and come back as zombies. The last thirty percent come back as powerful zombies. That’s the only way we can describe them. I put our phones in a bag that blocks all signals. I know they are monitoring me and if I say anything to anyone, the press, you, I mean anyone, they will arrest or just murder me as soon as they can get a goon with a gun to me. Their government and ours are doing their best to cover it up but by tomorrow it will get out. I am heading to D.C. to brief more people but I’m not supposed to even be here now. I was lucky and convinced the pilot to land here rather than Chicago for refueling, otherwise I would not have been able to warn you even this much.”

We sat in stunned silence for several seconds. “You know this for sure? How do you know we have until tomorrow?” I asked.

“I was at the consulate in a meeting with two major pharmaceutical companies and several military people not to mention all the government officials. I was basically in the wrong place at the wrong time. My boss insisted I needed to be there. It wasn’t my specialty but I’ve been in high end, high security meetings before.” She looked at her wrist again. “During the meeting one of the lower ranked military guys tried to leave. A General stood and blocked his way. After a brief exchange in their language the General drew his pistol and shot the man several times, then turned and shot the General that sat next to him at the table. He then put the gun away and explained. The colonel next to him was a known informant to several news agencies. He advised us all to use the same amount of fortitude to give us all as much time as possible to get ahead of this before none of us would have a chance.”

“How did killing those two give you a better chance.”

“All international flights will be grounded in about twelve hours. It will take about twelve more hours for the news to get out and then it will be mass panic. Rioting, police lock downs, martial law. Ugly.”

“But the, I gulped zombies are in Asia. They cant get here.” I heard the tremble in my voice.

“This part gets sketchy. The virus has already been transmitted or transported around the world. We know of dozens of places it has already been suspected with several confirmed.”

“But people should be told!” I said.

“And when they are it will be chaos and mass panic. That will be at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. Thats when the governments decided to go public. It gives government officials and the billionaires time to get home. They hoped for forty eight hours.” She looked at her wrist again, ”About twenty four hours for you.”

“This could be contained.” I stammered.

She sat stoically, “All the models say seventy five to eighty percent mortality rate. Thats global. At best. That includes military. We’ve talked before about it, even America with all of our guns. Most people will hesitate. She trailed off.”

We again sat for several seconds in silence. She finally got up and started pulling the bag of phones out of her shoulder bag. I dumbly stood up utterly disbelieving what I had just heard.

Luckily my wife was quicker than me. She stood and grabbed Lillian by the shoulders. “Are you going to be ok? Should you stay here with us? You know how we are prepped so far?”

Lillian took a deep breath and said calmly. “I can’t spread the news in any way I can imagine. I can only hope that going back to D.C will allow me to help others after the word is out. As much as I would love to stay here with you two, for my own sanity, I can’t. I need to go and try to help.”

“Ok. Do you remember our place? Northern Wisconsin?”

“Yes, Tomahawk.” Lilian replied.

“Ok, come if you can.” She leaned forward and kissed Lillian, then pulled her in for a hard embrace. I saw a tear fall from her eye. “I love you!” She said quietly.

“I love you both!” Lillian said reaching over and pulling me into their hug also. After a second Lillian reached up and kissed me too then pulled away and quickly dumped our phones on the table. She started to walk away but looked back over her shoulder and said, “Blue bears are good and red cats are bad. Just in case.”

We stood and watched her walk away.

Once she was out of sight, I numbly sat down. My mind reeled. I can’t describe the total opposite direction that this meeting took from my hopeful imagination. After all I at minimum expected to hang out with an awesome and beautiful friend, a little laughter and good conversation. What I got was the end of the world.

Nicole finally turned to me and hugged me hard for a long time. Finally she pulled back and looked me in the eye. “Do you believe her?”

I thought for several seconds. From her slightly disheveled look, so slightly disheveled that others wouldn’t have even noticed but we would, to her kiss and parting cryptic words blue bears are good and red cats are bad. What did that even mean?

I was looking at the floor but I finally looked up into Nicole’s eyes and replied, “Yes, I believe her.”

“Me too.” She said with a tremor in her voice. “Lets go.”

The next several minutes were a bit of a blur. When we got to the Prius we were about to get in when I stopped her. I opened the rear hatch and buried our phones under a bunch of blankets, get home bags, equipment and winter coats. After getting in I sat for a few seconds. “Do you think our phones are connected to the car?”

“They are off.” She said. “If they are, there’s not much we can do.”

“Let’s walk.” I said. We walked the parking structure once as we talked. “I hope if they pay any attention that they at least take into account we are being careful and won’t tell anyone.” I said. “My family is easy they are all localish. Your family is all down south except for your mother.”

She nodded and asked, “What should we do?”

“I hate to sound like an ass but I don’t think we can warn your family easily. Maybe call and tell them we don’t like the way the Asian flu is spreading and tell them we are going up north. They have never taken kindly to out prepper mindset but maybe they will pay a little more attention to the up coming news reports. Your mother won’t notice anything. If you want to go get her… that will be rough on our plans.”

“No, my family won’t see this until it hits them in the face. I need to try though.” She said.

“We will see what we can do for them.” I said conciliatorilly. “Until then our primary mission I think, is to get up north like you told Lillian.”

“Yes.” She said. “Oh my god its so overwhelming though.” She said sagging back.

“How do you eat an elephant?” I asked forcefully.

She stopped and looked up at me and then said with a small smirk, “One bite at a time.”

“Right on!” and I put my hand up.

She high-fived me.

“The camper is in the drive way. We load that in the next hour or two then get the kids and then take that up north. It’s about four and a half hours one way so nine hours is ten to twelve hours round trip with load and unloading. If we are lucky and we have twenty four hours that will give us two trips and a lot of supplies.

For our second trip we can pick up the trailer and fill that and the truck again. If Allen can take the third trailer… but that’s a lot for right now. When we get back to the car we can send messages to the kids and your family.

“Mom just got back from her Ireland trip! What if I send her a message saying you really want to hear about her trip to Ireland and Scotland? She should come here for a few days. Even if she left in six hours, we should be able to get her in time and take her with us.”

“Great idea!” I said though I didn’t think she would take the ‘bait’. “Call her!”

We walked in thought for several moments then I started organizing my thoughts on packing out loud. “Ok. Guns and reloading, books then long term food then our clothes, warm and cold weather then short term food then tools then clothes then more food and games then extraneous items. We understand this but my family won’t.” After a brief pause I continued, “Allen will not agree but he will be happy with us up there so really it’s the same thing. Except if he believes us maybe I can convince him to load our other trailer. As for my sister and brother-in-law. I don’t know, maybe they will listen.” I paused again and inhaled and exhaled deeply. “As for the kids, Andrea will go along because she trusts me. Lars will argue but only because he will miss his computer for a day. He will assume we are crazy but will be able to blame his time off and possibly his job loss on me and will then play that out for as much as he can get out of it.”

By this time we were once again near the car. I stopped her. I tilted her face up to mine and kissed her before saying. “The next couple days are going to be hectic. Very hectic. I am going to get harsh abrupt and maybe downright angry not to mention upset and pissed off. Just you remember!” I stared deeply into her eyes. “I will be doing all I can do for us and those we love. Don’t think I am asking you to do something for some self centered need. We are doing this for us and our loved ones.” I then kissed her deeply and reached into my pocket for the key fob so we could geet our phones from the back of the car.

We had been prepping for years. About nine years. There wasn’t much to plan. Once I made a decision she didn’t argue though I knew she would if she felt strongly enough. We both started making calls on the 10 minute trip home.

When we got home I woke up my son Lars, he is 21 but works evenings washing dishes and such for a restaurant. While he was getting dressed I called my daughter Rose who is 19 and a shift manager at a fast food restaurant.

Then I called my mother. When she picked up, I explained that Nicole would be coming to pick her up and to pack for a long stay up north and yes bring her cat. I’m allergic to cats but it’s easier to not argue and get things moving. She didn’t want to come but I told her it there was something special going on.

My wife looked at me and said, “Oh nice! Throw me under the bus.”

“Yes, it was an after thought. Pick up Rose first it will be quick and easy for you two to pack and load her things in the Prius. Then both of you can get moms stuff. Bring all the cat food and cat litter she has. That will allow Lars and I time to haul supplies up from the basement.”

After Nicole left, Lars and I started bringing bins and buckets up from the basement and staging them in the dining room. From there it would be a straight shot out to the camper and truck. Just a few months ago we bought twenty flip top sixteen gallon bins from someone on facecrack marketplace. We used several for different camping and storage needs but many of them were still empty. We used them now packing loads of store bought canned goods and boxing up all our home canned food. All told we had several months of food but that would go fast.

When Nicole got home with those two and a Prius full of clothes, they started bringing things upstairs and I started loading as much as was reasonable in the camper. We loaded all our blankets and bed clothes then we started with the cold weather gear and finally books and games. We have a 10 foot long shelf of books we considered necessary for the end of the world. I hooked up the camper to the truck and loaded bin after bin of food in the bed of the truck. I quickly strapped the load down with a cargo net. I had loaded several firearms into the truck and camper and several ammo cans also. The zombies weren’t due for a day or two but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have my pistol within reach.

During the loading of the truck my mother thought I was crazy but she helped, honestly I think she was just glad to be included and that her cat was coming. Occasionally she had seen a some of our preps, she never saw all of them, and would comment about why we would ever stock up on that much food. We gave various reasons but she would always shake her head and say the store is right down the street. She was flabbergasted by how much we had.

The truck and camper were loaded. My son rode with my wife in the Prius. My mother and daughter rode with me. They would stop at my sisters place and explain to them what was happening and I would head straight north. I really hoped my sister would take her seriously.

We were on the road by 11:30. Remarkably good time in my opinion. A quick stop for fast food and a little bit of careful speeding and we were there by 4:30. I guess it also helps that mid week traffic is much better. I had dropped the trailer and was unloading the truck into my brothers garage and lean to when my son and wife showed up. They unloaded straight into my brothers house.

When we were done unloading I spoke to my wife. “I think you should go to Dubuque and try to pick up your mother.” The look in her eye spoke volumes. It was almost like reading her mind, was I dumping her, then why doesn’t he want me, then why does he want me to go away, and then the change wait it’s still safe out there, this would be the only chance to get her, then splitting up would allow us to maximize our effectiveness in dealing with this. She pulled me down and kissed me. Good she got it, “Be safe!” she said.

“You too and keep me posted.” I said. “I’m leaving mom and the pets here. The kids will be with me for faster loading. We will both be back here sometime in the middle of the night. It took another five minutes to explain things for my mother and then we all left.

I stopped in town to fill up my gas tank and get drinks. We stopped at another gas station half way back and the clerk must have thought we were nuts when I bought out almost the whole display of beef jerky and a swath of other items. When we were back in the truck I told my son, in the back seat, to just drop all the packages into every nook and cranny back there. We would still need all the room we could get for the rest of our stuff. My phone was kept wrapped in aluminum foil and taken out every couple hours for updates and then re wrapped. This allowed us to speak freely. As I didn’t think they would be listening in on the kids phones and we never spoke about Lillian.

When we got back to Milwaukee, I stopped by my brother to tell him face to face what was going on. It hadn’t taken much convincing to get him to go up north, he always had plenty of vacation. What he didn’t believe was that shit was going down. He would leave in the morning.

We left and went straight to were we stored the camper. I called that storage place while on the way and simply rolled in and out with no pause to chat. I backed the big trailer into my driveway. We loaded propane and generators more clothes and finally the rest of our food. I packed my toolbelt, electrical tools and all my Dewalt battery operated tools but couldn’t justify the rest of my tools. Between what my family already had up there, mine simply weren’t needed. Also we were running out of room fast. By 1 am we were again loaded. We stopped twice for gas this time and both times we bought out nearly the entire displays of beef jerky and other treats. I was sucking down energy drinks and had bought caffeine pills. My son and daughter just kept dumping the small packages int the small gaps in the back of the truck. I had bought nearly a thousand dollars on that credit card and you could almost not see it they packed it so well.

The sky was just beginning to brighten when I pulled into the driveway up north again. I was really tired. We dropped the trailer and then began unloading. Again we were just dumping things in the garage, lean-to and shed. I paused and slammed the rest of my energy drink as Nicole crossed the yard. After a quick hug and as we finished unloading, she said she was thankful for being able to pick up her mother. I’m not sure how she convinced her to come here but we could talk about that more later.

“Now you need to get some sleep.” She said.

“No, we are going to town to buy whatever we can yet.” I replied.

She looked at me for only a moment before agreeing. “What are we going for?”

“You get to the drug stores in Tomahawk and buy anything you think we need medical and hygiene wise. I burned up my visa card already so I have about five grand I can spend on my other one. I’m going to Menards and a grocery store. I want to be back by noon. That will be past her 24 hour deadline but it may still be ok.”

She looked very tired. “I don’t like that we are splitting up but I understand. I will take Rose.”

“I’ll take Lars.” I felt as tired as she looked.

The kids just groaned but they had gotten cat naps between all the stops as I was driving. The girls left with us following. On the way I had an idea. When we got to Menards, I rented a trailer and they filled it with 6 foot fencing and a lot of fence poles. I grabbed a cart full of hardware, nuts washers and bolts and all the white gas they had. I then bought out the soups and such in their food section. I was loading all this into the truck when a police officer showed up. He parked a few spots away and approached me from the front. He had a nervous look and his body was angled away with his right arm slightly back.

“Good morning!” he said.

“Good morning!” I said pleasantly. Loading the last of my things in the truck. Lars came back from returning a cart.

“Whats the event?” the officer asked.

I looked at him slightly bewildered but then with a look of understanding. “Ahh, fencing, food, hardware.” I chuckled and passed my empty cart to Lars who started taking it back to the corral. I then slowly stepped forward and extended my hand. “My name’s Robert, my wife and I just closed on a property up here, our dream homestead really.” He slowly reached out and shook my hand. “And I promised my son a hunting trip to Montana and a load of food for when he goes back to college in Milwaukee for a few weeks work.” I looked over the side of the truck and pulled up a bag of Bear Creek powdered soup mix, He loves this stuff.” Then dropped it back in.

“Ya, not as good as pizza but it will last all the rest of the year and part of next.” He said and smiled as he returned.

The officer looked at me for a few seconds and asked, “Where did you buy a place?”

“North of Sprinter about six miles. Nice place. Goats, rabbits, ducks, we are going to have it all!” I wasn’t trying to pour it on too much but I had gamed this out slightly in my head. We really had been looking for a place. We really planned to have those animals and many more. “I just had a talk with the guys in the store. They weren’t pissed but they asked that next time I order ahead so I don’t deplete their stock. When I bring this trailer back I will place an order that I can pick up in a couple days. More fencing, cattle panels… I should have bought stock in this place before I pulled out my credit card.” I joked. “So what can I do for you anyway?”

“We got a call about suspicious activity. Buying an oddly large amount of stuff.”

“This is a lot?” I looked at the large though slightly odd assortment of material in the truck and trailer. “We would pick up twice this much stuff when I worked for a contractor in Milwaukee. Besides,” I continued turning back to him. “I used a credit card to rent the trailer and buy all of this. They have a complete record if something nefarious was going on.”

The officer started to visibly relax as I was talking. Just as I finished he got a call on his radio. He reached up and pressed the button. I didn’t know what the few words and codes meant but was quite happy to see him relaxing more and more. We have a friend in Chicago who needs to buy many gallons of white gas for a fire dance performance group and she tells stories of long talks with police officers to explain just what and why they need so much flammable liquid. They are always worried about terrorist and other threats nowadays.

When he was done on the radio I asked, “While I have you here what are some good places to eat? I really like Ted’s pub over on west street. Great burgers. What do you suggest for a breakfast place?”

To his credit he looked thoughtful for a minute, then “Maggie’s on fourth. Great greasy spoon type place with out the grease.” He had hooked his thumbs in his belt in front of him. “Great for breakfasts! The fork right down the street is only open for lunch and dinner but it is also really good. The new fancier restaurants are driving up prices but those two are still reasonable yet.

“Hey dad, Uncle Allen is expecting us soon.” Lars reminded me. Smart kid. Dropped that in at a perfect time.

“Hey it was nice meeting you!” I said as I started to step around him to get in my truck.

“Yes, you too sir.” He replied. “It’s always nice to see good people moving into the area.” He turned and went back to his car.

When we were safely inside the truck I praised Lars for listening and going along with what was happening. As we pulled out of the lot I thought about one more stop on the way out of town.

We pulled into my brothers place just before noon. I was really glad to see his truck was there. The radio had been going crazy with the reports of the grounding of all the international flights last night and it got only worse when they grounded all flights and said they were going to restrict all travel by the end of the day. My sister and her husband and kids arrived an hour later. Most of my family was safe. At least as safe as we could be for now. That evening the first reports of looting and rioting started. Then there were reports of some of the rioters biting each other. Most of the reports were coming from other countries so far.

I don’t know what words I would use to describe my thoughts and feelings when those first reports came in. It happened. It was happening? Way down deep I was afraid we were doing all this for nothing. I would have to go in and tell the boss that I was pretty sick. Try to return all kinds of stuff at Menards because I really couldn’t afford it. No, they showed people eating each other live on the evening news. For only a split second I felt almost vindicated for all the work over last 36 hours. Then I immediately felt the horror of the millions of people that would die over the next few weeks. Then fear for my friends and family that I couldn’t help right now. Finally the dread of having the end of the word as we know it occur right in front of us and how it would change our lives.

I got up and walked to the open bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter. I picked it up and took a long pull from the bottle then turned to my family. Mostly what I saw was fear and worry in their eyes. “Thanks to Lillian we are far ahead of most people right now. I think we are safe enough for the night. Tomorrow we will decide what to do next.” I set the bottle down. “I’m going to bed. It’s going to be another long day tomorrow. Goodnight.” I took my wifes hand and pulled her up off her seat. She followed me, as I walked to our bed I only hoped we would have this one last night be peaceful. Tomorrow I would really take charge and keep my family safe!

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[weightloss18-blog1]

Perfect Fat Burning Dinner -- Even If You Can't Cook!!

New Post has been published on https://designweightloss.com/perfect-fat-burning-dinner-even-if-you-cant-cook/

Perfect Fat Burning Dinner -- Even If You Can't Cook!!

Hey everybody! Hannibal Bray, Perfect Day Lifestyle and I'm gonna take just a couple of minutes to show you a super easy way to prepare a healthy dinner for one even if you have zero cooking skills okay? But first things first let me give a little shout out here to – what's up Atticus? Atticus is gonna play the part of my cameraman today he's gonna help me out here aren't you okay and I also gotta give props to Babette, Babette's gonna play the part of the cat just kind of doing her thing, so first things first it's all about the prep it helps if you do some prep ahead of time I'm gonna do a video this weekend probably Saturday and Sunday I'll do a couple of videos as I'm doing my prep for the week and I'll just show you guys exactly how I do this how I get all my salads ready how you can actually do a lot of the cooking ahead of time so if you've got a busy lifestyle like most of us do it's still real easy so let's um let's go over here do fridge so in the fridge here's what I'm gonna get I've done my prep already so I've got my uh my salad basically just some leftovers from last night I got my Bubbies sauerkraut which is awesome and that one's almost empty so I'm gonna get may get a second one here we're gonna finish that off and then I'll bring this out just you can see this is my my recipe for the salad dressing and then while we're in here eggs so these are hard-boiled eggs because tomorrow morning I gotta get up really early I don't have time to cook before I hit the road so I'm just gonna grab two eggs hit the road and go and what what's this what what I don't think I don't think this is on the Perfect Day Lifestyle is this is this Atticus is this yours is this yours? okay all right so not everybody here at the Bray household is on the Perfect Day Lifestyle and that's okay so I'm gonna hand this off to Atticus here he's gonna do a little bit of filming for me all right you got that buddy all right so what do we gotta do sauerkraut so sauerkraut is awesome and if something about fermented food I never knew this I mean you can make your own fermented foods sauerkraut's like the easiest one like readily available to get you can get this at the grocery store and I really prefer this this Bubbies brand because there's no vinegar or anything in there you don't have to cook this to do anything to prepare it except just spoon it out of the jar right and you're supposed to like leave it in the juice you can drain some of the juice out of there as you start to work your way through the bottle but I've kind of measured out before I try and do a full cup size serving because I'm

you don't have to do that if you're already pretty fit yeah you don't have much weight to lose you don't have to do that but I'm in still in like maximum weight loss mode where I'm trying to drop another 10-15 pounds and so I'm maximizing these fermented foods, if when I fill this little thing up here I know it's about a cup about one cup of sauerkraut so that's all set ready to go and the other thing I'll show you is this is so I've already got my lunch all set ready to go for tomorrow too so I've got this ready I got this handy dandy little neoprene deal and I've got these little guys right here I've got a bunch of these so I can fill them up with sauerkraut so I've got ready to go and we already see the salad I'm going to show you what we do with that all right so sauerkraut's all done take a peek there zoom in yeah sweet treats out of the way if you if you want to try out this recipe I mean it couldn't be simpler for salad dressing yeah we have to go to salad dressing recipes around here this is one and I have another video here you can see kind of how you put it all together and the other one is even simpler it's just lemon lemon juice I take half a lemon take a little little squeezer and I usually put this little thing like this lemon juice and then olive oil give that a little stir that's uh that's my wife's favorite so we do that we mix it up kind of 50/50 with this so we got our sauerkraut ready to go this is how how I pack my salads screw-top I don't have to worry about this making a mess got my little salad dressing here this is rubbermaid you can get these on Amazon but it holds like 2 tablespoons of a salad dressing which is perfect I got my protein here so this is typically gonna be I know this this may not look like much but when you're eating everything else here on this your perfectly balanced meal plan this is plenty this is really plenty of protein about the size of your fist and this is probably a little bit a little bit smaller but I'm taking like a protein shake in the afternoon so I'm trust me I'm getting plenty of protein this is just chicken thighs and you can bake like a whole tray of these in the oven on the weekend and that's what we do is this is actually half of one chicken thigh season just with salt and pepper no olive oil none of that I just put it on the on the on the tray with some parchment paper or some aluminum foil and you're good to go little paper towel in there just to kind of keep you know stuff from getting all mixed together so all I do in my salad again I'll show you this this weekend but I've got some greens you can buy some some pre-sorted fresh greens I usually throw in some some red cabbage just because I like the antioxidants and cabbage is really good for helping you to get into ketosis and this isn't a keto diet per se but there's some elements of a ketogenic diet that are certainly in here carrots I go easy on carrots because there's a lot of sugar in carrots but carrots are fine in salads I won't run them through my juicer though because it just turns them in a straight sugar we got some green pepper got some green onion I got walnuts I've got pumpkin seeds and that's about it so what do i what I like to do is I take the salad dressing give a little shake and I can do this anywhere I can do this if I'm at, you know working at a hospital cafeteria I can do this in my car you know if I get stuck somewhere or whatever and I usually screw this back on you know shake oh so this I don't even know Atticus is asking me what size are the the containers I don't know I got these away it spilling oh, is it spilling? no biggie dump it in there get all the good stuff in there take my little fork make sure we're all set and if you want you can heat up the protein whether it's you know chicken or chicken or steak or fish but I can just have cold usually totally fine if you want to heat it up you sure can and you can have this on the side I usually just dump it right in the first couple times ended I thought it was kind of weird to add the sauerkraut into the salad but now I've really developed a taste for it and it is all good just boom there's my dinner and I promise you I will not be hungry this will fill me up um if I do find myself hungry I've got some broccoli from last night I'll pull that out and I'll throw that in the microwave well that's it guys healthy dinner for one because oh you don't thing I wanted to address healthy dinner for one I mean when if you if you're trying to adopt a more healthy lifestyle right whether it's exercise nutrition it can be and I was kind of joking about it at the beginning you know my wife's got you know the sweet treats here the first two or three weeks this would have been a real problem if this was in the fridge okay I would have gobbled this right up and like like nobody's business um cuz I have yeah cuz she always has leftovers and that was that was part of the dilemma for the last two years um my wife went back to school for a second career long hours out the door early home after like 8:30 9:00 o'clock at night so I'm kind of left to my own devices and I was traveling a lot to work making really bad food choices and then we got pregnant with this one and so for two years you know I had excuses for you know why I was eating like crap so I had habits that I had to overcome you know I had you know I know you know I had I'd uh I'd detox you know I had to go through the the carb withdrawal and all that and it only took about ten days to really detox off all the hey buddy only took about ten days to detox off all the carbs but I'll say it probably took a full six weeks if not closer to eight weeks to establish the new habit to the point where this is ingrained in me and I'm like fine like in social situations other people are eating crap or if I can smell you know fresh bread or you know if somebody else is drinking like you know I will I will drink alcohol again but right now alcohol is not it doesn't contribute to weight loss and you know I believe in moderation if you're trying to maintain but I'm not in maintenance phase yeah I'm still trying to lose weight so I just made a decision that if it doesn't contribute and help the weight loss it's not on my diet for me okay once you get down to your target way you can reintroduce things you can reintroduce some of those fruits you can reintroduce some of those carbs particularly particularly you know you're gonna be more active so it's not just one diet it's not just a one specific meal plan that works and everybody's a little bit different but what I found to work is you know these perfectly balanced meals where I have my eggs and my green juice in the morning I have a lunch that looks almost exactly like this a dinner that looks almost exactly like this and I supplement in the afternoon with a protein shake and I take some vitamins and stuff that I'll talk a little bit about later in a future video but hopefully this helps and if you know if you can get the whole family on board that's great but even if you can't you just have to carve out you know carve out some shelf space in the fridge you know carve out some cupboards and and that's what we did before we started this we came back from Thanksgiving and I'm like all right hun, this little cupboard here is mine this little spot here is mine you can keep all your you know your goody stuff because you know you can't inflict this on somebody else if they're not ready to make a healthy change that's um that's you know that's cool you just have to you have to do you know you have to do what's what's best for you what's what's going on? Nicole:I said "plus, I'm breastfeeding" Oh, I guess I didn't really take the hint Plus, my wife's breastfeeding so she's yeah she's definitely got to to supplement and eat a little bit more but I can't see the comments if you have questions shoutouts go ahead and drop him in here if there's certain things that you'd like us to cover in in future videos let me know give me some ideas or anything you're seeing popping up oh yeah Nick just said next thing you know you'll be on the food TV on food TV I don't buddy I don't think there's any any danger of that, Gordon Ramsay or Martha Stewart I am NOT but I'm all about keeping this real if I can do this Rachael Ray keeps it real, Rachael Ray yeah next it can be then mister Rachael Ray, Rachael Bray or yeah alright appreciate you guys I want to encourage you if you have not here let me flip this around boom if you have not um downloaded yet I've got this uh show you this here I've got this free report here okay it's called Perfect Day Lifestyle it's just a one pager here this is exact this is all the elements of the program this is exactly what I did to lose 52 pounds in ten weeks and you may not have that much to lose you may have more than that to lose but download this totally for free go to perfect day lifestyle dot com, check it out and if you have friends who want to check this out to invite them to join the Facebook group here, we'll talk to you soon, take care!

[skiasurveys]

i am lonely

Name? jen

Age? 20

Hair color? blonde

Eye color?

brown

About Him.

Name? connor

Age? going to be 27

Hair color? brown

Eye color? brown

About you two.

When did you two begin dating? May 2016

What did you think of him? i thought he was funny and cute 

What did he think of you? he thought i was cute but idk really what hsi first impression was

Who asked who? mutual 

Did you like him before he asked you? yeah 

How old were you two? i was 19 and he was 25 but he turned 26 like 3 days later lol

What did you think of it at first? i was happy and it felt awesome 

Has it been a good relationship so far? yes

Has it been worth it? yes

Do you think it will continue? i do 

Do you guys have a special place? not really

Cutest thing he’s ever done? prob one of the things i can think of was when i was having  abad panic attack and he just held me and he told me he loved me and etc

Cutest thing you’ve ever done? i dont know ask him

Best gift he’s ever gave you? truck

Do you have a “song”? i cant help falling in love with you

Any inside jokes? sure

What was your most memorable experience? theres a lot

Could you give up something for him? i would

Is he your first anything? not first boyfriend but first for sex lol

Are you HIS first anything? i dont think so but idk for sure not first gf or sex partner lol

Would you change anything about your relationship? he lives far away right now 

Has he ever cheated on you? not that i know of but i know he hasnt

Have you ever cheated on him? no

Have you two broken up before? yeah we actualy dated in oct 2015 then didnt talk til april 2016 and then started to date in may 2016

Have you talked to any of his ex-girlfriends? no unless i have and i didnt know

Has he talked to any of your ex-boyfriends? no

Do you think he would go behind your back? no

Do you get jealous easily? yeah i hate it 

Does he? no unless he does and im just not aware 

Do you think he’d make a good father? sure

Would you even have children with him? we dont want kids

Do you even want to get married to him? yeah

Kissed you in the rain? no

Fought with a guy for saying something about you? no

Would he even fight for you? maybe, sure

Have you two ever had someone try to break you two up? yep -____-

Has he ever bought you anything expensive? kinda but he did give me his truck

Has he ever made you feel warm & fuzzy? yes

Would you make it long distance? no but we are right now until june

Have you two ever gotten into a fight? yeah 

A physical fight? no

Has he ever written you a letter? no

Have you ever gotten into it with a girl about him (fight with girl over him)? no

Would you ever? no unless a bitch was trying to fuck him or something then id fuck her up

Have you two ever spent the night together? duh

Been absolutely, ridiculously silly? yeah

How much do you love him? a lot i cant really describe it

What would he do for you? idk ask him haha

What would you do for him? anything he wanted except murder lmAOOO

How often do you two talk? everyday 

When is your actual anniversary? 05.10.16 (May 10th 2016)

Does his family like you? yes they do

Does yours like him? kinda 

How long do you plan on being with him? forever 

Anyone disapprove? some do , fuck them

Has anyone ever tried to interfere? morgan did but i told him to fuck off

How often do you two argue? not overly 

Do you like it when he surprises you? depends..

Are you proud to be his girlfriend? yes

Is he proud to be your boyfriend? i hope lol

When do you feel closest to him? when he spills his heart out to me

Do you prefer his hugs or kisses? kissing 

Would you change anything about him? where he lives <-- same

Would he change anything about you? i dont know 

What do you love most about him? he makes me smile when i dont want to

Have you ever gotten on his Myspace/facebook? yeah but i dont need to 

Do you trust him? i do

Does he trust you? i hope

Do you guys tell each other everything? i do 

Any secrets? i dont think so!

What’s your favorite thing to do together? everything 

What reminds you of him? elder scrolls and anime LMAO

What’s the hardest thing you’ve overcome? having to let him leave for a bit but hes coming home :D

Do you truly love him? i do

Does he make you happy? honestly he does

How long have you known each other? almost 2 years

Were you friends before you dated? ehhhh kind of? we were flirty 

Where did you go on your 1st date? he took me to the college to play smash bros and it was awesome, then to Noodle house for lunch and then back to his place to hang out. it was awesome

Most fun date you two have been on? theres a lot

Do you go on more alone or group dates? alone but i dont mind group ( depending)

Who usually pays for the date? he always does but i will pay for other stuff.

What does your man do to make money? renovations 

How many years apart are you? 6.5 years

Do you normally date older or younger guys? older.

How did ya’ll first kiss? we were watching donald trump vids and then we were chilling and joking and then we were cuddling ( yes WHILE WATCHING DONALD TRUMP MEME VIDS) and then he asked to kiss me and it happened

Did he use any cheesy lines? no

Who said, “I love you” first? me lol

What was the first thing he gave you? i cant remember 

What’s the most expensive thing he’s given you? his truck

What’s the cutest thing he does? when he cuddles me and makes happy noises lol ( if that makes sense)

What does he call you? Jen, babe, baby, babygirl 

How well does he know you? pretty well

How well do you know him? more than most people 

Do you know any of his ex’s? no

Is he friends with any of his ex’s? i dont think so 

What is one thing that really annoys him? stupid people

Are you happy? with him

Is he the best kisser out of all that you’ve kissed?yes

How many kids does he want to have?

0Longest relationship you’ve been in and who was it with? the one i am in now 

Shortest relationship you’ve been in and who  was it with? like 3 months and was with this guy named dylan barf

Are you happier single or in a relationship?

relationship

Do you tend to date outside of your race?

not really connor is half white doe

Ever had a rebound? no

Have you ever been someone’s rebound? probably

Have you dated both sexes? no

Has anyone ever seriously proposed to you? no

Who was your most painful breakup with? when connor dumped me trhe first time hahah but were together

Are you one of those people in relationships who break up and get back together frequently? no we dont play games. the first time was just timing 

Do you believe in breaks? no youre pathetic if you take them. its really just a way to fuyck others 

Has anyone ever cheated on you? no

Have you ever cheated on a significant other? no thanks that is disgusting

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? we kinda are

Did you ever have one of those elementary school boy/girlfriends? no

In relationships, do you tend to be the clingy one? yes

Are you currently with your first love? kinda 

Do you still talk to the person you first fell for? no

Do you seek approval from your friends before going out with someone? no

Have you ever been “the other person”? How did that go? no

Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love? yeah this one and because all the songs make sense and when i see him happy thats all i want and i dont think about myself anymore

Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how? yeah but for good

What’s the most important part of a relationship? 

trust, communication, happiness

Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? serious 

How many people have you ever hooked up with? 0

Do you believe love can conquer all things? not cancer 

Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not? I am in one currently but its short time, so yeah they can you just have to work at it and trust them. I dated someone who lived acrossed seas and that didnt rly work. i hate ldr i am only in one rn because its short and i love him enough 

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms? yes ^-^

How’s your heart lately? lonely

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now? no

Would you fight for love? yea

Do you have something that belongs to someone from your past? yea

Was the last time your heart pounded like crazy for a good or bad reason? bad

Have you ever kissed two people in one night? yea lol 

Do you want to be in a relationship with someone? i am in one

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? he does

Are looks important in a relationship? yep you have to be attracted ok, dont even lie about that

Are relationships ever worth it? yes

Are you a virgin? no

Are you in a relationship? yes

Are you in love? YES

Do you forgive betrayal? depends 

Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yeah..

Have you ever experienced unrequited love? when i was younger

If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? i dont know what i would say because were dating so it would be rly hurtful 

What is your definition of cheating? when you want someone else as your bf/gf. when you flirt with them, kiss them, fuck them, tease them, etc, lead them on. theres emotional and physical cheating. both are awful. if you are NOT happy dump the other person pls!!!

Are you nice to people you dislike? im an adult 

Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yea

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? right now

Is there someone that you’ll never be over? i dont have to worry about that

Is he sweet to you most of the time, or is he mean towards you? sweet

Does he ever go out drinking? Is this something you’re concerned about? no

Does he ever really open up emotionally to you? Is he that way to everyone? yes and he doesnt open up to anyone else 

Does he truly care about how you feel and what you have to say? yes

Is he usually more optimist or pessimistic? realist

Does he treat you like you’re royalty? no but i dont expect him to because i dont treat him like a king or a god, i treat him like my lover/soul mate/best friend, and he does the same. he treats me well 

Does he ever hold you hand in public? yes :3

Are you all into the ‘public display of affection’ thing? no but kissing is cool

Is this relationship more based on love or lust? love 

Do you feel closer to him than anyone else you associate with? yeah… i do..

Tell me exactly in detail how he makes you feel: i cant explain it and i feel stupid that way but he makes me feel like everything is gonna be okay and that life is alright and that im safe wit him. he makes me happy and peaceful, he brings out the best (unless hes moody then i get annoyed lolol)

Has he ever let you wear any of his clothes before? Which items? not rly i dont wear 

When you’re sad, broken down and crying, what does he do to comfort you? he holds me in bed 

Have you two ever shared food or a drink with one another? yes

Do you two ever go to the movies? Do you just make out the whole time? we pay 11 bucks each for a movie we aint gonna make out, thats a netflix n chill thing bru

When you first met, did you think it would end up the way it is?: no

if it came to it, would he rescue you at 3am if needed?: im sure but it woiuld be kinda hard rn ,lol

Ever layed in bed together in each others arms?:     yah

Would you trust him if you left the town for a month with no contact?:     honestly i couldnt live like that i would get nervous and i need to hear from him 

Does it bother you if he doesnt say ‘i love you’ when he leaves?:     not rly unless i say it 

Do you text a lot?:     yes

Does he ever stick up for you and defend you? he doesnt have to no one saying shit about me

Would you say he’s overbearing when it comes to protecting you? no

Do you ever keep the notes he writes and things he makes you? he doesnt makew me anything

Does he normally explain to you how much you mean to him? only when we fight. thats the only time he makes an efffort lol

Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked? either

Have you ever loved anyone else? no

Has he ever loved anyone else? im sure 

Have you talked about a future together? yes