#i still can't FULLY comprehend. actually being safe i guess

[hoofpeet]

Are you safe?

yah 👍 tl;dr our NOW-ex landlord harassed us for 7 months after trying and failing to run a rental scam. We had an eviction hearing this morning and literally 5 minutes after leaving the courthouse our now-CURRENT landlord sent us a lease to sign and agreed to let us move in this weekend. So yeah a lot of shit happened but 👍

[h5eavenly]

Heyyy, I am a new reader and follower and read through fallen star in one sitting. It is actually so good. I have always wanted to read something which has depth in it and this one is IT.

First of all, I hope you are doing good and taking care of your health....please don't feel pressured to update, we all can wait.

Second, your writing is amazing. How you describe a scene is phenomenal. You write everything so clearly there is no space for second guessing. Every moment, every emotion is delivered so beautifully that I can't even comprehend it.

Third, I relate to Jake so much because opening up is not easy at all. YN had good intentions but I think there is always a place and time for such talks. She did not deserve what he said but her trying to sort of pry in his mind/situation was not okay to me personally. It felt like she ruined that peaceful moment with asking such question because for him it was out of nowhere and he was not prepared, for a moment he felt alright with no thoughts that could damage him but her asking about his traumatic experience without a heads up triggered a very bad reaction out of him. It is just how I see this situation because everyone has their own pace to do things. YN is understanding but not in a way Jake wants her to be, it seems. They are both not mentally stable to try and help each other, they need some time to themselves to reflect on their actions. Healing together is not as easy as it seems.

Fourth, I hope you don't mind this long essay.

Please stay safe and healthy. Take care🫶🏻😆

helloo it was always a blessing to hear from new readers so hi and welcome 🤍! i can't believe you read through fallen star in one sitting i know the written chapters are quite long so thats so amazing aaa 🥺

thank you so much it means the world to me that you think so of my writing omg :(( 🤍🤍 my goal is always to deliver things beautifully like poetry and yet for it to still be clear so thank you for saying that

i agree with some of the things you said it seems like with jake and yn even when they are on better terms they're still on different pages although i do think yn have worded things wrongly (despite her good intentions) i think it all just comes down to them not working out as fwb anymore cus the lines keeps on blurring! jake is very kind and although yn has gotten better at understanding him she still triggered him (also bc shes still not fully aware of his past)

i dont mind long essays at all in fact this was a blessing to read so thank you for writing to me and thank you for being so kind love 🤍🤍 i hope you're taking care of yourself as well!!

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 11 - The Depression. Episode 1.

Andy: *Things kept going down hill, specially Evan's mood. On the 23rd of May, his sister Rose called to tell his dad had had a minor heart attack, and was in the hospital. So it's safe to say, things didn't exactly turn brighter after that. The whole day he just seemed distant, and barely even ate anything. It was getting harder and harder being around him, watching him sigh and poke his food. So when Congo offered me to go for a nice evening walk, I immediately said yes. It sorta looked like it was going to rain, but the air was warm, so we threw a leash on my puppy, Wilson, and dragged him with us. I keep calling him a puppy, even if he is actually a year old by now. He is just so tiny still, I can't help it. As we had walked for about 5 minutes, and I hadn't said much, Congo wrapped one of is big strong arms around me. With his 196 cm he is quite a lot taller than me, 10 cm to be exact, and his body volume is about a half time larger than me, turning him into the perfect rock to climb on to when you feel you are drowning in it all. I dug my fingers into his muscly chest, and the chest hairs peeking over the neck of his shirt. I just loved the warmth from his body, his body heat naturally being a bit higher than other people. I sighed relieved, I had really missed my husband without even noticing it. I had been so caught up in trying to be there for Evan, I had forgotten all about my mate.*

Congo: *He smiled softly at me, and kissed the tip of my nose* A kiss for your thoughts?

Andy: *I chuckled lightly* I was actually thinking of you.

Congo: *He smiled satisfied and kissed me again, this time a gently loving kiss on my lips* Of me? Hmm… I wonder, what were you thinking of me?

Andy: Willy! Willy NO!….. WILSON!!! *I tucked in his leash as he was trying his best to eat a dead bird he just found… and yeah, I did name my dog after Wade Wilson, aka the Marvel anti hero Deadpool. I have been fan of him for years, so it was never hard to pick a name when I suddenly became dad to a tiny overly active trouble maker! I guess under the right circumstances, Deadpool would eat dead birds he finds on the ground as well?*

Congo: *He bowed down and yanked the rotten bones out of Willy's mouth* Bad boy! *As Willy finally let go, Congo looked up at me, while petting the dog* So… what were you thinking about me? Or is that a secret? *He smiled teasingly and stood back up*

Andy: *I chuckled softly* Nah… I just got distracted by the dirty mutt. Actually, I was thinking I have missed you a lot. It feels like the last couple of weeks I have lost track of you. There has just been so much. Evan, 'A', the fire….

Congo: *He frowned at A's name* Yes. I know.

Andy: Sorry *I half smiled apologizing*

Congo: *He nodded in a 'never mind' way and sighed softly* Stop apologizing for him. I was prepared he would keep popping up one way or another, but as long as he doesn't pop up in person, we will be alright *he smiled softly and ran his fingers through my mohawk, caressing my hair softly* I missed you too Andy. Very much. And I'm glad to hear you missed me too. When that's said I want to make you understand I fully comprehend why you spend so much time with Evan these days, and why you seem to forget about me a bit. Its okay. He isn't doing too well. And as long as he more or less refuses to talk with George, there isn't much we can do about it. He needs to heal on his own, and that might take a while. All we can do is be there for him. And if it helps him to cuddle with you and hide in bed, I will leave space for that, for as long as it takes. However, I would appreciate you don't forget me completely *He chuckled softly and kissed my forehead* sometimes I need you too.

Andy: *I nodded softly and lit a cig, blowing the smoke towards the sky* I know… that#s also why I feel so sad that I#m neglecting you...

[sellingmysoulforbts]

You're having second thoughts about your career choice. BTS x Reader Reaction

Genre: mild angst, fluff. College AU. Gender neutral.

Warnings: strong language, self degradation.

as requested by @erraticsoul

A/N: I just wanna say that it is okay to change your career path. You're really young when you are forced to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life and we sometimes make mistakes. The most important thing is that you are happy.

Kim Seokjin

He was there for you, every single time you needed that extra support. This madness began when you started having trouble with some of the subjects that you had to take in college. Thoughts like 'how can I become a professional if I can't solve this simple exercise?' clouded your brain. Jin came on time only to find you crying over your homework.

"Tell me, how am I supposed to do this my entire life?"

"By giving your best, like I know you do, and if that's not enough then it's probably not what you should be doing" he would answer.

Then he proceeded to tell you one of his terrible jokes about the subject your having trouble with. Like if you weren't having it with chemistry he'd go "hey, are you made of copper and tellurium? 'Cause you're CuTe" and if that didn't work, he'd always come to you with a new plate he's made in class because he definitely a culinary arts major.

Min Yoongi

He was confused, like he didn't get how you felt at all. Since he was really young he new what his goals were and started working really hard to achieve them. You, on the other hand, have thought about every single career path, none of them seemed to completely fulfill you. Like you went from wanting to be a model to a rocket scientist in the span of two months, so you knew as soon as you filled that application form to enter college, with whatever career you had landed eyes on at the moment you weren't going to stick to it. Yoongi would try so hard to help you find something you like and would like doing for the rest of your life, just like he did.

"Okay, how about being a teacher?" He suggested one time.

"But I'll have to know the subject first, so what can I teach?"

"Never mind" he said.

He would just enroll you in a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with your current major, just to see if you'd like any of it.

Wanting to become a producer was his lifelong dream, the feeling he got every time he got a step closer was something Yoongi wanted you to experience as well, so he'd never give up on you.

Jung Hoseok

He would be the one to notice and call you out on it. Hobi was a dance major, so he had practice almost every day and you'd come, even if it was late or skip classes to see him. At first he didn't think much about it, and he appreciated the effort you were putting into the relationship, but then you stopped coming like once a week or just skipping a class to have lunch together and began coming like three times a week, and he would see you around campus with friends when he knew you had class.

"Hey, I saw you today walking out of campus" he said one day, after he was done with practice and you were still there.

"Oh, really? I didn't see you, I'd have said hi. At what time did you see me?"

"While you were supposed to be in class" he answered, trying not to sound mad.

"Yeah, the professor cancelled it last minute, so I didn't really have time to tell you" you genuinely thought he was jealous because you were hanging out with boys, but he wasn't. You'd you really be here so late if you were cheating on him? No, and he knew you would never, but he was concerned.

"And has he cancelled classes all week, and last one?" He inquired.

His tone gave away he was implying that you had been skipping class for the whole month.

"No" you answered softly.

"Is everything okay?"

"No" you answered again. He took your hands as a way to show you his support. "Why?" "I just don't feel happy anymore, like when I first got in I was so sure this was what I wanted and now I find it hard and I'm really stressed. I've been looking for other career options and I might change majors so I guess I lost interest and just stopped making an effort to pass" you shrugged, he kissed your hands.

"It's okay. We're still very young and I want you to do something that makes you happy"

Kim Namjoon

You. Felt. Dumb. You were having such a hard time in some classes, and not understanding anything your teacher said. At first you just worked a little harder and visited your professor to ask some questions, but seeing your classmates getting good grades or putting a minimum effort to understand, made you feel out of place and dumb, like actually stupid. Namjoon was an extremely intelligent human being, and that's no secret. He was an English major, and an outstanding student.

He was going to surprise you, you had been busy all week with schoolwork and he knew how hard you worked so he gave you your space, but it was Friday and he missed you like crazy. He didn't expect, when he walked into your apartment, to see you crying over your homework. Like actually balling your eyes out. Your brain was so chemically imbalanced at the moment that you barely felt arms wrapping around your sobbing form.

He managed to calm you down a little bit, and finally asked what's wrong.

"I can't do it Namjoon, I actually am incapable of doing it. I'm just a stupid piece of shit who can't even solve her homework. Why am I even trying at this point? I'm going to fail because my brain does not have the capacity to understand this subject" you basically yelled out and broke down crying again. He was so pained to see you like that and hearing that horrible things from your mouth broke his heart.

"Shh, don't say that baby, you are not dumb" "of course you'd say that, mister my IQ is 148, I only get As with minimum effort. I've being working on this thing for a week. A WEEK, and I can't do it. My teacher is sick of me for going every single day to ask him something." You were getting angry at this point, not with him but with yourself. Maybe throw in your parents as well for making you this way, but not at him, never at him, even though your words proved otherwise.

"Baby, look at me." He said. You shook your head embarrassed at your attitude.

He squatted right in front of you and took your face in his hands, dried your tears and smiled.

"You are not dumb, not because you have to work a little harder does it mean you're less capable of doing something. Besides, you're so far from stupid. When I look at you I see a wonderful human being, smart and kind, and that's what I love about you. Your perspective on the world, and your unique way of understanding things." He told with a sincere voice and that made you smile a little. "Also, I do put effort into my work but I like what I do so much that I doesn't feel like it, now tell me, do you like what you're doing?" He asked. " I don't know anymore" "okay how about this? Let's take a break right now, we go grab something to eat, we get back, cuddle, watch a movie. Just relax and not think about college for a while. And we can discuss this in the morning with a fresh mind."

Park Jimin

He was mostly sad, you didn't choose this for yourself, it was your parents dream. He would just try and comfort you, by hugging you and whispering words of encouragement. You were sad, angry and scared. You couldn't do what you wanted because your parents didn't support you but you also didn't want to disappoint them.

"I'm so sick of this Jimin, I don't think I can keep doing this." You said one day, you had to study for your upcoming tests but finding motivation was hard.

He couldn't fully comprehend your dilemma, his parents were super supportive.

"I know baby, but the semester is almost over."

"And then comes the next, and one after that, and on and on, not to mention the years ahead of me of working in this" you wanted to cry, just let out your frustration.

"Hey, how about, you start taking classes for what you really want, until you build up the courage to talk to them." He suggested. "I don't know I'm so scared." Your voice broke a little. His caring instincts kicking in immediately, so he hugged you. "It okay, I'm sure what they want is for you to be happy and have a safe future financially, that's why you're here, but you can prove to them that you'll succeed doing whatever you want, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. I believe in you, and besides I'm quite thankful to your parents for picking that for you or we might have never met."

"You're right" and with him by your side you had the motivation you needed.  

Kim Taehyung

It was hard, Tae, your boyfriend, always seemed to have more free time, and enjoy his college experience way more than you did. He was one of the few things you were grateful for, during your time in college. The little study dates you had were like the only way to get you to open a book, and they were a 2x1 deal for him. Taehyung was an art history student and it required to read a lot so he could do his school work and spend time with you. You weren't irresponsible or anything but you started to wonder if you chose your career right, because the lack of motivation was really dragging you down. You were in the coffee shop you usually went with Taehyung to study just contemplating how you wanted your life to look in ten years, when he came.

"Hey" he said. "Hi" you answered still a little distraught. "Did you order?" You nodded in response. "Is everything o-" he started but you soon interrupted him "how did you know what you wanted to study?" "well my school took us to a museum for a school trip once, and I was fascinated by the art, but also intrigued as to what led the painters to do such masterpieces and I guess I got hooked on that. Why?" "I'm just not sure with what I'm doing,I never had a revelation moment so I just went with what sounded the least unpleasant at the moment" "Well how about we finish here and we can go find some counselling for you?" "You think I should change majors?" "Baby, when was the last time you felt happy and satisfied with your work and what you learned?" He asked and you grew quiet at that. "Exactly. What you do for the rest of your life has to be something that you enjoy and you're clearly not enjoying this." So you did just that, found help to discover what makes you happy.

Jeon Jungkook

I mean he would be kinda disappointed that you didn't told him first thing and that he had to discover it for himself. You were thinking and rethinking if you had made the right choice, so you turned yourself into a little help from the internet, trying thing from quizzes all the way to astrological birth charts, of course when he wasn't around.

As you were spending the weekend together doing homework and watching movies, he stumbled upon a word he didn't quite know the meaning of. He was studying animation, and taking classes for film production, but he was trying to do some homework for an English class.

"Babe, can I use your phone real quick? Mine ran out of battery" he asked. "Sure, what for?" "I just want to Google this word" he said and have you that bunny smile, you handed him the phone unblocked, not worrying in the slightest. He got it,and quickly clicked on the  navigator, as he was about to type he peeked at your search history, things like 'how to choose your major', 'how do I know if I made the right decision','best careers based on your zodiac sign' that last one made him chuckle but he was generally preoccupied, because something was definitely wrong. He made a mental note to talk to you about it. Jungkook quickly made the research and completed his task. He then approached you, to give it back to you. You were just in the couch reading something, as he handed you the phone with a smile you sensed something off. "So, what's the best career for a virgo?" He wondered. It took a minute for it to click. "Kook…" you trailed of, not sure as to what to say. He sat down next to you. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" "I just- I was.. am so confused. I believe I chose what I did for a reason but now I'm not so sure and it been going on for a while. I guess I didn't want to bother you with stupid problems like that." You told him. He just shook his head. "That's why I am your boyfriend, so you can come to me with whatever is bothering you and we can fix it together cause we're a team, and it works the other way around too." "You're right, sorry" "It's okay, but promise me you will from now on" " I will, I promise" you smiled at him and he answered back "now that that's out of the way, let's find your perfect major" and with a kiss on your cheek, you then proceed to go through a lot of lists and quizzes a lot of websites suggested, together.

~~

a/n: I’m so sorry this took so long but the scenario really hit home and I got distracted, anyways i hope you enjoy it and like it. 

gifs not mine