#i still can’t believe she’s gone tbh

[joker-daughter]

tom’s post and d*m’s blog about tom planting a tree for her

[deus-ex-mona]

anyways that’s too much lxl on the dash. stream karakuri pierrot instead~

[cherrycherrylady2024]

Christmas with the Grimes'

Christmas with the Grimes'

(Dilf! Rick Grimes x reader) Word count: 1,945

Warnings: 18+, descriptions of dilfs? This one is pretty tame tbh

Chapter 1: Mr. Grimes

Packing your bags for winter break, you thanked your lucky stars you had somewhere to call home for the next month and a half. There was the option of staying in the dorms but you came to terms with the fact that that would simply be too sad. Plus you certainly couldn’t go back to your parent's house, you hadn’t spoken to those two since the day you graduated high school. You were finally well and truly on your own. College was everything you had dreamed it would be. Partially thanks to Judith, your roommate, for dragging you out of the dorm that first week of school. 

You purposely picked the earliest move-in date and had already been living in the dorm for two weeks before Judith even arrived. You tried your best to spruce it up with what little decor you had and sat wringing your hands all day for this girl to appear. With random roommate assignments who knew what you’d be getting? When the door began to open with a click! of the handle, your stomach dropped to your toes, but the second Judith walked in you knew everything would be okay. She immediately ran over to you and almost knocked you over with a bear hug. She was the sunshine that brought you out of your shell, and you two were BFFs since that very day. When she invited you to stay with her family over winter break, it was nearly impossible to say no. 

~~~

“C’mon y/n we’d have so much fun! I can show you around my town, I mean what little there is to see, but still! We can go ice skating, watch movies, have snowball fights with my brother- plus my dad makes some seriously fucking good eggnog.” Judith chatted into your ear as you were finishing up your last essay for finals. You sighed and pushed away from your desk, rubbing your eyes. This paper would be the death of you, especially with Judith's distractions. “That all sounds great, really, but wouldn’t it be an imposition on you guys? I mean Christmas is kinda special and I don’t want to be intruding on your-” Judith cuts you off. “Please intrude! We do the same stuff every year, it gets sooo boring. Anyways, I’ll miss you too much, so I’m not really asking at this point.” Judith plops on her bed and opens her laptop. “This is a kidnapping now?” you ask. Judith types furiously on her computer, “For the greater good. You can’t sit here and mope for the next month and a half, that’s too depressing.” She pauses for a second, staring at her laptop screen. “Is an 8 am train too early?” 

You sigh, and lean back, stretching, mulling it over for a moment.

 “Way, way, too early,” you say.

Judith looks up at you and smiles.

~~~

So here you were, bags packed and ready to go. You two took the bus to the Amtrak station and boarded easy-peasy. “Y’know, I always thought train travel would be like Murder on the Orient Express, but this is like… shanking on the shitty express,” you remarked as you examined the stained seat, shabby carpeting, and… let’s just say, unusual fellow passengers. You quickly corrected yourself, “I mean- not to sound ungrateful or anything.” Judith rolled her eyes in agreement, “Believe me this isn’t my first choice either. It’s only a four-hour drive, if my dad would let me bring my truck up we wouldn’t have to-” she was interrupted by the train starting up. It began to slowly peel away from the station. “Here we go!” you exclaimed, surprising yourself with how oddly excited you felt. Judith yawned, shifting in her seat. “I should’ve gone with the noon train, even 10 am feels like the crack of dawn.”

20 minutes later you were bored as hell and Judith was fast asleep, snoring every once in a while. Your phone had spotty service as it was, but now going through the countryside it was virtually impossible to do anything. You occupied yourself by looking out of the window. When that got boring you too tried to close your eyes, but Judith's snores were becoming increasingly loud. You looked at her and contemplated throwing goldfish into her half-opened mouth, but decided against it. 

Studying her for a little, you concluded that she looked a lot like her dad, from the one time you met him. 

It was the day Judith moved in.

~~~

Judith pulled away from the hug, “Y/n, right? I’m Judith. It’s so nice to meet you! I like your energy already,” she held your hands as she said this. “That's so sweet of you, you too!” you responded. “And this is my– dad come on!” Judith turned to the door, ushering in her father. The man was balancing two large moving boxes, labeled aptly as Judith’s shit, which obscured his face. “Jesus Judith, what’s in here? Boulders?” He shuffled over and plopped down the two boxes on the twin bed across from yours, breathing out in a huff. “Just my rock collection.” Judith teased. Her father wiped his face and turned to you, making a clack sound in his cowboy boots, “Nice to meet ya, m’Rick” he said, extending his hand to you. 

You froze.

Damn. 

He was handsome. 

You didn’t typically use that word to describe guys. They were always “cute” or “hot,” but this wasn’t a guy: this was a man, and he was fucking handsome. His skin was a little bit bronzed from the summer sun, and you immediately found your mind wandering to where those tan lines might end. Rick's hair was dark brown, thick, and pushed back, ending in perfect curls. You were instantly enraptured by his stunningly blue eyes. How do eyes that blue even exist? Rick had a strong and direct gaze, and you got the feeling that from one look, he could know all about you. Was it crazy to say he had a sexy nose too? You had never liked facial hair until this day. This was nothing like the scraggly high school mustaches you were accustomed to. Rick had a short, slightly salt-and-pepper, beard that perfectly accentuated his high cheekbones. His voice was deep and rough, with a sexy southern drawl that you clocked immediately. He wore a plain white t-shirt which, due to the August heat, stuck to him in just the right places. 

Damn. 

The dark blue jeans fit him perfectly, paired with a black belt cluttered by loops and pouches, what for? You weren't sure. The only thing you could identify on the belt was the gun holster, and the revolver snugly clasped in it. 

You took all this in in the few seconds he had turned to you. His hand was still outstretched when you came to.

“Oh- hi Mr. Grimes, I’m y/n.” You shook his hand gently in a daze. His hands were warm, a little rough, and covered yours completely when he brought the other one on top. “Nice to meetcha y/n. And just Rick is fine.”

Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick.

You nodded your head fervently and withdrew from the handshake. You did your best to act normal but your eyes drifted straight back down his body to the revolver. Judith had already made herself busy unpacking, and didn’t even need to turn around to know what you must be wondering, “Dad I told you to leave your gun in the truck, it freaks people out.” She turned back to the both of you, holding a teddy bear, “Don’t worry y/n he’s not in the mafia or something, that’d be way too cool for him.” Rick shook his head with a smile, his hand on his hip, “How do ya know I’m not?” Judith moved swiftly past him, grabbing something from his belt. “Hey!” Rick laughed. She tossed it to you and upon catching it, you turned it over in your hands. It was a shiny gold sheriff's deputy badge. 

Officer Rick Grimes.

Damn.

You chuckled lightly and handed it back to him, your fingers brushing his, as Judith entered the bathroom with a box labeled shower shit. “Don’t let your mob buddies see that badge,” you teased. Rick smiled (Damn.) and put it back in his belt pocket, “Thanks for the tip.” 

Judith emerged from the bathroom, “Dinner?”

The dinner was unfortunately quick, mostly Judith talked and you listened. Rick chimed in now and again but it was more for you two roommates to get to know each other. You couldn't help but sneak a few glances at Rick throughout the dinner. You watched as his muscles flexed in his forearms, studied when he’d crack a smile, and nearly swooned when he leaned back and swept a hand through his hair, his arm outstretched on the booth behind Judith.

It was like he was magnetic. Every time you looked away you felt a calling for more. You shook the feeling as best you could and focused on Judith. You found out she had a younger brother, Carl, who was a bit of a troublemaker. Through mouthfuls of pasta, Judith put it bluntly that their mom had passed away years ago. "I'm sorry to hear that," you responded. You glanced at Rick for a reaction, finding nothing. You told Judith about your family, sugar-coating some of the details as you swirled your pasta around, not making eye contact. She seemed to catch on fast and didn’t pry. You already liked that about her.

After paying for dinner, and you thanking him profusely, Rick escorted the two of you back to your dorm building. He gave Judith a bear hug goodbye, “I wish I could stay longer sweetheart but I gotta get up early in the mornin’.” He looked over to you and winked “Mafia stuff.” You smiled (oh my god) back as Judith pulled away. “It’s alright, I’ll see ya at parent's weekend pops!” She kissed him quickly on the cheek and headed towards the stairwell to the dorms. Rick chuckled, then shrugged his shoulders and looked to you, “She’s keepin' it all inside.” He said, patting his heart. You laughed, “I’m sure.” Judith yelled to you from the door, “C’mon y/n we gotta lot of catchin’ up to do!” You turned back to Rick, “Thank you so much again for dinner. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Grimes.” He clasped a hand down on your shoulder (fuck). “No problem, you girls be good now, ya hear?” He leaned down closer to you, whispering, “Don’t let her drive you crazy”. You titter nervously, a little overzealous, as he pulls away. Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god.

You could smell his cologne. Or maybe it was just him. A rich, woodsy, musk that you wanted to stuff your face into.

“I heard that Dad!” Rick spun on his heel and began walking away, his hands in his deputy jacket pockets. “Goodnight girls.” You watched him walk away for a moment, then followed after Judith.

~~~

That was nearly 5 months ago, and the last time you’d seen Rick Grimes. You didn’t have a crush per se, I mean, he was a grown man and you were….…well, technically of age, but it would be weird, right? Right??

I mean maybe it's not so bad if- NO. You need to snap out of it. You hadn’t even thought about him (much) the whole semester, but the notion of seeing him again gave you butterflies that you desperately tried to squash. He is your best friend's dad for god's sake. Not that anything would ever happen, but there was no reason to make things weird for yourself in your own mind. He’s Judith's dad, and he just so happens to be good-looking, nothing more nothing less.

Well- really good-looking. And funny too. Very charming. But nonetheless your best friend's dad! 

A dilf and your best friend's dad. 

This was going to be a long winter break.

***

notes: ahhhhhhh! ok so this is my first fic ever and I already have a few more chapters written and planned so lmk what you think! All comments, reposts, etc. are very much appreciated <3 stay tuned for more!

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[roserunodays]

@greenbetula This is in response to your post, but I wanted to say my own thoughts here instead of a reblog!

The Mahiru Undercover shot is really interesting tbh because it seems more unclear compared to the other shots shown. Just what is happening here? Is it a shadow of them holding hands while they’re walking like in ILY? Well, I think it could be, but the angle seems to suggest that Mahiru’s bf’s hand is flat on the ground, which would mean his body is laying there as well. If that were the case, Mahiru would either be reaching down to take his hand, or she’s laying on top of him and taking his hand like that instead. Either way, I don’t think that really matters because it’s clear she’s holding his hand somehow, but why? What’s the reason for her doing that? Imo, I think it’s because she was grieving.

At least with how I interpret this, this seems to be right after he died (which would parallel the rest of the Undercover shots seemingly taking place after the prisoners’ murders, most notably Kazui’s where it’s clear that’s right after Hinako killed herself), and Mahiru, who survived the aftermath of her bf’s death, is trying to compensate for him being dead, either being in complete denial in that moment, or she’s coping because she just…doesn’t know what to do. And who wouldn’t know what to do in that kind of situation? What can she do, now that the person she loved is gone? Try and "bring him back" somehow? I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive btw, it really could've been both. I just think she, especially in her grief like state, would do this sort of thing (aka hold hands with a corpse) for two main reasons:

One: Mahiru is a person who wants to be together forever with her partner. Especially in that moment after he literally just died, she would try to be together with him (which is why she holds his hand). She wants that closeness with him, to continue being with him and loving him despite being dead, because that is what love is to her, after all:

She also believes in the afterlife and yet she still wishes to bring the one she loved back to life. In that grief stricken moment, did she try to do such a thing? Did she have some kind of thought that he would come back somehow if she was together with him? Or was it something much darker, where she wanted to join him in death, because living without him and in a world where she had nothing was much more painful than dying?

This is further supported by the name of this drink in TIHTBILWY, which is called “Corpse Reviver” interestingly enough. To be honest, the worst I can see Mahiru do is somehow keep her bf’s corpse around (which would mirror Shidou heavily), although I highly doubt this because I don’t think it’s realistic, and I feel like it should’ve been hinted at more by now if that was the case. Again, I can’t completely rule that out, but it’s a scenario I could see happening in the short term (in the moment where he just died) compared to Shidou’s long term actions with his patients to try and bring back his family.

I think in that moment right after he died, Mahiru just wanted to be together with him somehow, so she's coping with that loss by being close to him, even if he's...already gone. Hell, she's still having trouble even now with fully accepting her boyfriend's death:

There is nothing that can bring him back, so what else can she do, other than hold his lifeless hand out of a quiet moment of respite?

Two: Shidou Kirisaki parallels

The character she is paired with for prisoner pairs, the one who has many similarities with her in regards to grief and not being to accept death that’s right in front of them — it really highlights just how similar they are in that sense. They are both people who have been overtaken by grief before:

Shidou tries to bring back his loved ones, who are nothing but “corpses” at this point, back at the expense of others so they could be together again. Mahiru, even if it was just in that moment, also wanted to try and “bring the person she loved back”, even if she knew deep down it wouldn’t work. But at least they could be together again, right?

That is why I think Mahiru’s reaction to her boyfriend’s death would also be along the lines of Shidou’s reaction to the death of his family: in a state of complete grief and partial denial that drives them to try and “get them back” somehow. And along with that, a horrible realization that they both have to accept that death because nothing they can do will ever bring their loved ones back from it.

[sco07ut]

how did i feel about the way rvb19 treated iys female characters:

dylan: weird???? she felt so mischaracterised. between that and the new voice she fully felt like a new character ☹️ it also felt like she was forced in for like no reason. in s15 she seemed to be like a pretty esteemed journalist so idk why she would be stammering on stage in a nearly empty comic con. peculiar and i think they could’ve made the intro so much better if it had been a bit more like s15. dylan having some sort of interview maybe, talking about the disappearance of the rnbs and still getting cut off by the meta but in a way that like actually feels like her ? like she wasn’t particularly afraid of spencer porkinsensen (or whatever the fuck he was called)

kai: i was hoping she’d get a cameo but christ not that short. where in the name of god was my kai + grif interaction. i also think she could’ve killed the meta with sheer cunt force alone, my girl was held back !!!! also so disappointed that she never got to see tex again

sheila: i was not expecting you!!!! but it’s so good to see you again. did they rescue her from charon or something?? honestly quite sweet.

479er: Really wasn’t expecting you ! she contributed to the plot really nicely, it didn’t feel like she was forced in at all. it would’ve been nice to see more of her though, i feel like her scenes happened Very quickly. i also would’ve loved to see her interact with the other freelancers (particularly carolina and tex) but whatever i can’t complain too much about her

grey: what did they do to you!!!!!!! who are you!!!!! you are not the emily grey i know and love!! you would have so much more consideration for wash ☹️ another case of being mischaracterised so bad that i fully didn’t realise it was grey until wash said her name. this might also be because the infinite armour looks absolutely nothing like her but i don’t know jack abt infinite so i can’t really say anything

tex: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I CANNOT BELIEVE RT ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGED HER PAST ENDING WAS SO DIRTY. wish she had maybe had a small conversation with the rnbs but honestly her saying ‘and in their memories i always kicked their asses’ was enough. she knows she’s the woman ever. i wasn’t expecting her to get sucked into the unit though :( like i suppose it makes sense to let her finally rest with whatever iteration of church was created when the ais merged but man i was looking forward to her joining the rnbs again and like idk getting to know her daughter properly this time?? severely missing tex and carolina content

carolina: where did you even come from girl!! where were you before you dropped out of the sky!!!!! i also wish she had spoke to the others & had like an actual scene where she was told sarge was dead bc they had like a weird little friendship going on and he’s just gone !! i feel like she barely did anything. she just dropped into the fight, did fuck all, and then revealed that wash has apparently been hallucinating the dead body of doc. erm

bonus ct + south: ct’s speech was alr i guess it wasn’t particularly memorable but it was nice that she was included tbh. though i was surprised south was in the freelancer lineup given she lowk bullied wash idk

in conclusion: my girls deserved better

[icequeenbae]

Boy Next Door (m) Ch.4 (fin) | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Warnings: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), some altercations, a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 3.7k (pt.4)

Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)

Author’s note: Yesss, the time has come for the final part of the series to drop~ This is more on the fluffy side tbh, but I hope you find it to be a pleasant ending to this mini-series. As usual, please don't be shy to leave feedback in any way you prefer, I track all of your replies/ reblogs/ asks ❤️ And thank you for giving so much love to my stories, I do appreciate that a lot!!

Tags: @bbh-net  @k-vanity  @ksmutsociety @lavnderluv @cupreoussyzygy @byunbaek-hyun-04 @blue-rainydays

‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me earlier!!’

Yuki was over for girl’s night, and this time, she wasn’t the only one gushing about her prosperous sex life.

‘I was waiting for test results.’

‘Huh? Test results?’

You realized that you’d just spilled all the beans you didn’t intend to spill.

‘Uh- we didn’t exactly- you know?’

‘What?’ She asked suspiciously, probably not even imagining that you could get so careless.

‘Well…’ You swirled your hand around abstractly.

‘I don’t know what that means- Wait. No, you didn’t!?’ Judging by her lit-up eyes, she guessed right. ‘You little hoe!!’

‘Look who’s talking.’

‘Yes, I’m talking. And I want to know everything. Starting with the result of that test, actually. You stupid hoe.’

Sighing, you rolled your eyes.

‘It’s negative. Thankfully… But it was really stupid of me, I know.’

‘Well, did he at least pull out on time? It’s not a safe option, but the timing is somewhat important…’

‘He did. Although he said, he’s never had sex without condoms.’

‘Damn. I should change what I said to ‘you lucky hoe’! I hope you took that test properly.’

You nodded. That was the first time you had to march into a pharmacy to get pregnancy tests. And you had no clue about how to choose out of the dozens of available options. The only reason you were able to ask for help was that you wore a mask – to save you some face, literally.

But that landed you with a few options and some instructions to follow. You had also gotten your period after your two-day sexcapade with Baekhyun, so you were pretty sure you were lucky this time. But you were still concerned with the long-term options. Something you’d left for the future discussion with your physician.

There were other things on your mind right now.

‘Actually, there’s something else that’s been bothering me.’ You mentioned reluctantly. ‘We haven’t… made it official. I mean- he hasn’t asked me yet. Is that… indicative of anything?’

The thought was bugging you daily.

The words ‘Would you be my girlfriend?’ or anything of the sort, had never left your neighbor’s mouth. And you were the one who shamelessly got drunk, ended up in his bed, made him sleep in it with you, and then… Weren’t you so very eager to jump into having sex with him?

Not to mention that you’d stayed at his place for two whole days, Sunday being filled by more domestic delights, and… Even more sex. It seemed like Baekhyun was focused on you and completely insatiable. You couldn’t remember doing it more than once or twice a day, so you were stunned as you realized you had gone four times. His stamina was surprisingly remarkable.

It was a relief that you had to eventually leave his apartment, for you had to work on Monday. As you ran a bath at your place, you realized how sore and exhausted you were. The fact that just a couple days prior, you got shitfaced was probably a contributing factor, but also, the amount of physical activity was very unusual for your body. Though this was a great type of exhaustion, and you had the deepest sleep that night.

But now, almost two weeks later, you were pretty anxious about how your relationship was progressing. Relaying all of the basics to your friend and asking for her opinion was supposed to make you feel better; however, she shared your concerns.

‘This is weird. So, he had time to sex you up multiple times but not ask you a simple question?’ She frowned. ‘You know how it is here, Y/N… You’re not official until you say the words.’

You knew. And that wasn’t even the only cause for your uncertainty.

‘It’s not only that, but… We haven’t really hung out since.’ You mumbled, expecting a big reaction from your friend.

‘What?! Is the bastard ghosting you??’ She rose from her seat, looking ready to burst into his apartment and give him a piece of her mind.

‘No, he um- he had to go to some distant town for a work assignment. He told me that there might not be any internet connection since they would be on some military base or something like that. He said it would last a bit over a week, and then he’ll visit his family for a few days and get in touch with me from there.’

‘So, has he?’

‘So far… No.’ You admitted.

Yuki huffed, her eyebrows knitting together angrily.

‘Yah. That seems fishy as hell. Why wouldn’t he at least send you a text? Who disappears after having someone over for the entire weekend of fucking??’

‘We weren’t doing it the entire weekend…’ You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up again.

‘Come on! He didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend, disappeared on a ‘mission’ that sounds unrealistic, and hasn’t gotten back to you for almost two weeks? Wow, was I wrong about him.’

You scratched your temple, exhaling hopelessly. She just voiced everything that you thought to yourself. You kept giving him the benefit of the doubt in your head, but she was right. It was too odd for someone to vanish into thin air like this right after what had happened between the two of you. This was the hard truth, and it hit your softest, most vulnerable spot. Your heart.

‘I guess so,’ you muttered, voice a bit scratchy with the inevitable tears you held back. ‘What do I even do now, Yu? I like him a lot, which is precisely why I didn’t want to start anything…’

‘First of all, stop crying. If he decided to do this on purpose, he is a dickhead. And doesn’t even deserve to call you his girlfriend.’

She reached out her hands to wipe the stray tears off your cheeks.

‘Second… You need to grow some balls, Y/N. Don’t let people take you for granted or make you feel less than you are!’ She said in a serious tone. ‘I’ve told you this before: you shouldn’t retreat to your shell when someone attacks. You’re strong, beautiful, and an amazing person, capable of giving them hell if you need to!’

Snorting at Yuki’s passionate speech straight out of some girl power drama, you shook your head.

‘Yes, you are! Stop feeling sorry. If someone hurts you – don’t let them. I don’t mean Baekhyun exclusively. You know you’ve been in various situations lately where defending yourself was vital. Stop being a good, cautious girl who gets into her own head before saying anything. Act the way you want, and if someone is offended – it’s their problem. I’ve seen you speak your mind before, and it was damn powerful. That’s why it’s time that you do it for you.’

It wasn’t hard to guess what she was referring to. You’d been keen on staying collected on the outside and hid your emotions fairly well. You’d never let your struggles show, even when you were going through a difficult time at your previous job. You preferred crying in the restroom during lunch break to letting anyone know.  You didn’t want to deal with that. Sad or angry, you processed every thought before opening your mouth and saying something, just because you knew how hot-tempered you could become if you didn’t keep your tongue in check.

However, you did let it slip sometimes, mostly when someone hurt the people you love, as opposed to you. A couple years ago, you had to pick Yuki up from a random party she was stuck at, and there was a guy who made unwanted moves on her. As you arrived at the scene, you had to search the entire house for her until you walked into the kitchen, where the bloke was trying to kiss her while she was shoving him away. You vaguely recalled what you did… grabbing his shoulder to turn him around, kneeing him in the balls without hesitation. Yuki later shared that she sobered up as she heard you swearing excessively at him. You told him everything on your mind, and he was scared to talk back. Apparently, you looked like a force of nature back then.

And although this wasn’t the first time you’d done something like this, it was mostly reserved for someone else. But now that you were contemplating your life… You found that you might’ve been missing the point all along.

‘Actually… You have a point, Yu.’

Your best friend blinked, surprised by your response. She’d been trying to get through to you many times before, and now you finally listened?

‘Why should I always be the one to swallow my pride or feel uncomfortable? I’ve always been a good girl, and where did it get me?’ You wiped your face dry. ‘I’m not gonna do a one-eighty and become a crazy bitch now, but it’s time to let go. I won’t try to reach him or wait for him at the door. If he was one of the bastards who thought I was too boring to have a relationship with, well… Fuck him then. I’m done with feeling bad about myself.’

‘Yay! That’s what I’m saying. You go, girl!’

‘I’m sure I’ll get over him in no time. Yes, we’re neighbors; it’s gonna be awkward. But why should I be the one worried about it? I’ll be sure to let him know I don’t give a shit about him and his stunts if I ever see him again.’

‘That’s the spirit, Y/N-ah! Gosh, this calls for a celebration. Where’s the champagne I brought last time?’

‘I hoped you’d ask. In the fridge.’ You chuckled.

‘Coming right up,’ she winked, already headed to the cupboard to get the glasses.

***

Friday rolled in, having you overcome the struggles of getting work done while having your head elsewhere. Your office hours were so long and miserable that you were dead set on doing your house chores and then going straight to bed tonight. Just to sleep in tomorrow, wake up completely free for the day, and order from your favorite restaurant and chill. If anyone deserved a feast, it was definitely you! Rewarding yourself for getting through the week and spending five minutes not thinking about your personal life was a great achievement in your book. Maybe not great, but a triumph.

Walking up to the entrance, you saw a tall figure there.

It didn’t seem familiar until you were a ten-second walk away. Then you realized – it was that woman. That one who broke into Baekhyun’s apartment while you were there. And the one who called him up about having dinner together at his place.

Your first instinct was to turn around and sneak through another entry point. You hated confrontation, especially in case you didn’t initiate it. At this time, all you wanted was a quiet evening, and it was about to be ruined.

Your pride, however, didn’t allow you to back down. Suddenly, your conversation with Yuki replayed in your mind. She was right; you shouldn’t let anyone treat you that way or make you feel any less. And if you had to withstand a pointless attack, you could simply fire back. With that in mind, you reached the gate.

‘You!’ The voice made you sigh and brace yourself before turning around. ‘It is you! I’ve seen you before.’

‘Congrats,’ you shrugged, ready to walk away.

She grabbed your forearm.

‘Are you going to Baekhyun again?’

‘I find it unlikely that my destination is any of your business. Let go of me.’

She gritted her teeth, squeezing your arm painfully.

‘Listen, whore. I’ve been working on him for months, and as soon as I’ve made progress, you swing by and think you’re-’

‘No, you listen, bitch.’ You ripped out of her grasp, completely fed up with this. ‘I don’t care if you think you’re entitled to have him. But let me tell you this. I live on the thirteenth floor, so if I see you there again, I’m calling the police. Stop creeping around my house and get a life.’

‘You-’

‘Is everything alright?’ You turned to the security, who most likely caught your exchange in front of the gates on CC TV and decided to come check it out.

‘Yes,’ you nodded, pressing your code in and pushing through the entrance. ‘This person is blacklisted on our building, check under Byun Baekhyun. And please make sure she doesn’t sneak in and cause more trouble.’

‘Of course.’ The guard made sure the door was appropriately locked after you.

The woman, whose name you still didn’t know, shouted profanities at your back as you walked away.

You hated confrontation, but this felt good.

Later this evening, you gladly told your best friend about it.

‘Damn, you should’ve called me as soon as you got home! This is so cool,’ she yelled as you relayed the story.

‘I wanted to clean up first. You know we talk for hours… I'm glad I did; I’m sure I’d have zero energy if I had to do it now. I’m already in bed and so sleepy.’

As if to emphasize your point, you let out a loud yawn.

‘How graceful. I am in bed too, but I wish I could see her face when you… Is there a way to get my hands on the security footage?? I’d flirt with your guards just to have a chance to see that!’

You heard someone grumble in the background.

‘I’m sure you’d love to see that footage just as much as me, Seokie,’ she teased.

‘Ew, don’t tell me you’re in bed with Hoseok right now!’

‘What if I am? Jealous?’ She asked, and you rolled your eyes.

‘Sure. I hate you lovebirds.’

‘He’s been eavesdropping on your story about that bitch you put in her place, and he looks impressed.’

‘You go, Y/N-ah!’ You heard Hoseok shout.

‘Thanks,’ you giggled, feeling at ease. ‘That’s at least one source of frustration off my shoulders.’

‘Aw, you’re still upset about that bastard going MIA on you?’

‘I’m trying not to think about it. But… Baekhyun’s either been offline everywhere or has blocked me. I just keep thinking… If it’s the former, what if something happened?’’

‘Oh ,Y/N. I hate that you’re this kind. Next time you see him, tell him off just like his stalker.’

‘I guess,’ you agreed weakly. ‘Anyways, tomorrow is a new day, and I have great plans, so I need to sleep now.’

‘By great plans you mean ordering food and wearing pajamas all day?’

‘You know me so well! Don’t bother coming over, I’m not gonna share. It’s a me-day.’

‘Ugh, what a hoe.’

‘I’m hanging up.’

You put your phone away, giggling at her goodbye growl. She always knew when to tease you to make you relax, and it was one of the reasons you considered her a great friend.

She was always there to back you up and listen to your whining, if needed. At least when you went back to being alone again, you weren’t completely alone.

***

You danced eagerly to the door, ready to pick up your order. It was afternoon, and you were hungrier than a wolf. The delivery guy had just sent you a picture of your package, so you were to simply get it at your doorstep. Which was how you preferred it – living alone as a woman could be slightly creepy, so all contacts with strangers were to be avoided. Your apartment building had great security, but… better safe than sorry.

Thinking all that, you opened the door without checking if the coast was clear. Since you were already crouched to get the package off the floor, you instantly saw a pair of legs in front of you. Male legs. Someone was standing right outside of your door.

You quickly glanced up, meeting the chocolate eyes.

And then grabbed the doorknob, trying to shut the door. But a swift foot in the doorway prevented you from doing so.

‘Whoa, wait a second, Y/N-ah!’

You still wouldn’t budge, so Baekhyun continued.

‘I know what it must’ve looked like, but let me explain. Please, Y/N. I know I fucked up.’

He tried stealing a glance at your face through the crack on the door, but you turned away.

‘Why should I listen to a single word you say?’

‘Don’t you want to know what really happened?’

Trying to make up your mind, you looked down at the package in your other hand.

‘I’ll need five minutes tops to set the table.’ You announced, letting go of the doorknob and allowing him to follow you inside. ‘Be done till then, I don’t wanna spoil my healthy appetite.’

You said that while walking towards the kitchen to get your food out. Baekhyun put something suspicious on the floor and stepped into the kitchen silently.

Expecting him to start the explanation, you huffed.

‘Your time is going to be up before you know it!’

‘I’m sorry.’ He said, voice heavy with guilt. ‘I’m sorry if I made you upset. I know we agreed that I’d stay in touch, and I didn’t. But I promise you I didn’t disappear on purpose.’

You began taking out containers of food from your delivery.

‘My phone was handed in the entire assignment because that base wouldn’t allow any devices inside but our pre-approved laptops. I was planning to text you as soon as I arrived at my family home because when I received my phone back it was dead.’

Listening to him talk, you avoided looking his way. You wanted to process his words without any additional… distractions. It was time to be rational; meeting his warm, guilty gaze again would cost you half of your battle spirit.

‘I left it to charge as soon as I got home, but…’

He made a big, almost theatrical pause.

‘But?’ You nudged, wishing to know the truth.

‘I don’t know how to say this… Uh- Siwoo wanted to take a picture of something outside just to be playful and accidentally dropped it out the window.’

It was your turn to pause. Was he kidding you with that story?? You couldn’t believe he was trying to blame all of this on a child.

Your thoughts must’ve displayed clearly on your face, so he fished his phone out of his back pocket.

It was brand new. It was evident that the model was upgraded, and the color was different, too.

‘I restored the photos from the cloud, I can show you the picture he too—’

The shiny new device was proof enough for you, and you weren’t willing to have him provide you with further evidence of his innocence. Nevertheless, you wanted to make sure he was genuine in his apology.

‘Why couldn’t you at least call our building and ask them to give me a message?’

He stood there, stupefied, for what seemed like an eternity before his expression turned into a sheepish grin.

‘I could’ve… done that?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head.

Clearly, the thought had never crossed his mind.

You rolled your eyes and turned to the kitchen counter. The table was set, and you only needed to get the plates. The prettier ones were reserved for the rare occasions when you had guests, so you had to reach for them.

‘Y/N…’ Baekhyun whined, sounding uncharacteristically childish in his desperation. ‘I also brought you an ‘I’m sorry’ present…’

Hearing this made you snap.

‘Why would you do that? It’s not like we’re dating!’

He was taken aback by your words.

‘What do you mean we’re not?’ He asked, completely bewildered. ‘Are you seeing someone else?’

‘No, but-’ It was your turn to mumble. ‘You never asked me…’

Baekhyun looked at you as if you were crazy. Then, his frown transformed into something else.

‘Oh god, Y/N…’ He sighed, leaning on the counter behind you with one hand. ‘I thought it was obvious. I was serious about you from the very beginning, but if you want me to say it, I will say it.’

You waited for him to finish.

‘Please be informed that I’ve considered you my girlfriend this entire time. And I know I fucked up, so… are you gonna break up with me?’

‘I’m debating it,’ you responded gruffly.

‘Y/N-ah,’ He pressed, still hovering over you while his arm inched closer and closer to your frame. ‘I’ll do anything you want to make it up to you.’

Taking in his hopeful eyes, you pointed to the kitchen cabinet.

‘I need plates.’

Following the direction of your index finger, Baekhyun looked up. He reached over you, almost hugging you with one arm, and gave you what you wanted.

‘Thank you.’

He perked up, a question in his eyes. ‘What now?’

Although you were still grumpy, your heart was beginning to warm up to him. So easily.

‘Go sit at the table. I’m hungry.’

Baekhyun’s chocolate orbs instantly lit up.

‘Does it mean you forgive me?’

The hopefulness of his tone made your façade crack.

‘You’ve mentioned a goodie bag?’ You squinted at the huge paper bag he left at the door, just to avoid crumbling right in front of him.

Baekhyun smiled cheekily.

‘It’s all yours. Babe.’

You ignored the term of endearment, turning your back on him to hide your warming cheeks.

‘Get yourself another set of chopst—’

Your boyfriend gave you an abrupt back hug.

‘B-Baekhyun?’

‘I really missed you, Y/N-ie.’ He whispered in your ear, nearly busting your eardrum with a kiss. ‘Also, my entire family wants to meet you…’

‘What?? Already?’

‘Mhm. And here you were, thinking we weren’t even dating,’ he snickered. ‘Once I got you, I’m not letting you go.’

‘You are,’ you huffed. ‘Otherwise, you’re standing between me and food. And I got an appetite, you know?’

‘I know.’ His smile tickled your neck pleasantly. ‘It’s one of the many things I love about you.’

It was impossible to turn into mush faster than you did.

Masterlist

A/N: Okaaaay, we're done with another mini-series!!! Congrats to you and I haha Thank you for following this story till the end <3 And a huge thank you to all of my lovely readers that left their comments to each installment of the series! Ily 💕

[helpimstuckposting]

TMAGP 30 Speculation

Now that it’s season finale time, I’ve got a LOT to say and a lot of ideas so I will ramble them here and either I’m horribly wrong or horribly right but unfortunately we have to wait to find that out

First, I can’t believe Alice had two mysterious talks with her friends saying they have something super important to say with a horrified quiver to their voices and she didn’t have time to listen to EITHER of them. Teddy and Colin are high high high on the list for ‘died off mic and we only find out next season’

Since Gwen was promoted (idiot) and Sam is… mmm… missing, it looks like the OIAR will need to fill at least one position, and I think it would be fun if Teddy came back to take his place as a main character. It’s possible that what he had to say was “This new job… it’s not exactly [working out]” and he was simply looking for a new one, and it’s no more ominous than that. If that’s the case, I can absolutely see him taking his position back next season. Colin’s probably dead, though, I’ll be shocked if he’s not tbh

Speaking of Colin, he called the system Freddy while talking to Alice. You know, the same guy that said “Don’t give it a personality. We shouldn’t even be calling it Freddy.” So the change up here is really blatant to me.

I’m still really attached to the idea that Jon and Martin (and Jonah’s) voices were stolen and they’re not actually trapped in the computers. However, I *do* think the voices are sentient, I just don’t think we’re right about who’s behind them. I think Freddy, the program itself, may be using the voices to push its own agenda and manipulate the decisions each OIAR employee is making. Alice gets a lot of JMJ errors, and is specifically the only person on staff who actively tunes the cases out and does not read into them.

OR, if it does turn out to be our guys, then I think it’s possible they’re working counter productively to Freddy, and the JMJ errors are a result of that — like they’re actively trying to work against Freddy. This could also be why Colin said he messed up, like maybe his attempts to deal with the JMJ errors made Freddy more powerful.

Either way, it seems the OIAR is in a huge bind going into season two. Colin probably did something buck wild and pissed the computer off, he’s probably dead, Sam is missing and they’ll need a new hire, Lena is gone (the only person who presumably knew anything that was going on) and Gwen just got promoted to boss despite having 1) absolutely no idea what’s going on with anything at all, 2) an inability to handle the externals and several panic attacks, and 3) no clue what Lena’s job even was, with no direction from the man who promoted her. It seems like even the PM has no real clue what the OIAR does, how it functions, or who it employs (“I’m sorry, do you hire a lot of murderers for contract and consultancy work?” - the answer is Yes, actually, several!)

Picturing the team next season as Alice, Teddy, Celia, and their boss Gwen is… a comedy of errors (or comedy of [ERROR]s? … Sorry) like that absolutely cannot go well. Although, we are pretty used to people being hired as a boss while they have no qualifications of the sort (also did not go well)

As for Sam, the Archivist, and Hilltop Road, I have a few questions about what could possibly happen. First, if the crack in reality was specifically calling for and tugging Celia toward it, we can probably assume that it’s the TMA universe on the other side, right? Which means Sam and the Archivist are now in our original beloved universe. I’m curious to see if Sam is just going to be MIA for the entirety of season two, or if we’ll get tape recordings of him at the same time as our TMagP friends, and we’ll have updates between both universes. I could see that being very interesting if some voice actors appear as two different people in the same episode (their TMA part, and their TMagP counterpart) but that would probably be really complicated to pull off in an audio format.

Also, we know the TMA fears cannot be separated, and that they’re possibly just one entity and have been one entity the whole time. That’s why they couldn’t start the apocalypse without all of them participating, and that’s why when Annabelle opened the crack in reality they all left the TMA universe. “Any attempt to separate the fears is doomed,” is what she said. She also said, “I would either travel with them, or I would die. I do not know which... Most would simply lose whatever power they have been gifted.”

So, if an archivist travels back through the crack in reality, what would happen to them? They’d be cut off from the entity that gave them power, right? So either the archivist will die, or maybe we’ll find out who Beth Eyre (the voice of [ERROR])’s character really is? Who they were before they became an archivist?

I don’t think they’d introduce [ERROR] and then just get rid of them without any resolution, which leads me to believe we will eventually find out what happened to Sam. I don’t think Sam’s just going to be dead or missing and never come back, I don’t see how there’d be any point to that. He is still the only person we know of who’s survived telling their whole statement, and even though he had a headache I feel like that must be significant. The janitor turned into a rock, I really don’t think a normal person would just walk away with a headache. Like, for all intents and purposes, Sam probably should have had his skin ripped off if we’re following the pattern of [ERROR] related deaths.

I hope next season focuses on Hilltop Road, because the lore in this episode was amazing. First of all, it was hard not to notice how each shop had a different danger. The custodian mentioned the drunk man walking into the newsagent and then he “ignored the smell of burnt hair and charred meat”. Then there was the shop that turned a woman into a mannequin, and Sam and Celia walked past the appliance shop where doors kept opening and closing, and the dentist that wanted peoples teeth. There was also the antique shop from episode 7 that almost buried the manager alive, plus the institute also used one of the units. I could be reading too much into it, but it feels like each fear from TMA has uhhhh… set up shop?

It’s also interesting to me that Annabelle said every owner on Hilltop Road in TMA was marked by the Spider, and died a grizzly death.

“So many schemers and spiders and full-throated monsters. Twisting manipulators and furtive liars. Each meeting a violent, grotesque end.” (TMA 196)

And the owner of Hilltop Center was no different.

“I found the owner dead in his office, with every blood vessel stripped from his body and strung around the room in a grim cat’s cradle.”

Not only did he die a violent and mysterious death, but his blood vessels were strung up ‘in a cats cradle’, which is pretty web-like if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m really really hoping to learn more about Hilltop Center next season, that’s the ONE thing I’m super latched on to post-finale

[psychedelic-ink]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑩𝑰𝑫𝑬

** gif by the amazing @inklore who made this for me, love u bby thank you so much!!!

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

genre: smut, hurt/comfort

word count: 3.5k

summary: a retelling of the third episode but with you in it. Starts with Ellie reading Bill's letter.

warnings: spoilers for episode three, oral (giving), shower sex, piv, lots of emotions, hugging joel because he needs it, soft!joel

a/n: i'm still fucking crying tbh

“August 29, 2023,”

“If you find this please do not come into the bedroom. We left the window open so the house wouldn't smell. It will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this Joel. Because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps hehehehehehe Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway, I never liked you. But still, it's like we're friends. Almost. And I respect you. So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here, we have a job to do. And god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep—”

Ellie’s voice trails off, making you look up from the corner of the wall your eyes were digging a hole in. She presses her lips together, eyes moving away from the heartbreaking letter. Joel’s eyes snap up, and without saying a word he snatches the letter from her hands and reads it for himself. You have the urge to come close and peer at the words as well, but you don’t dare. You zero in on his expression; the crease between his brows deepens, the corner of his lips pulling down. He swallows. 

“Stay here,” he croaks, heading to the door. 

It slams shut. Leaving you and Ellie inside, you turn to her, “What did it say?” you ask despite having a solid guess of what the answer might be.  

Ellie doesn’t look up. Her stance is relaxed but the tension tolling over her shoulders is visible. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and answers, “Tess,” she says. “Bill was telling Joel to keep her safe,” 

“Oh shit,” you whisper instinctively. Ellie nods. 

“My thoughts exactly,” 

You drop your bag, the sudden relief of it being gone making you feel lighter than ever. You know he’ll be mad if you try to talk about it. But you also don’t have it in you to leave him to wallow in his own self-pity. Joel is a protector. And from what you’ve heard, Bill was also one. Protector to protector. The message was abundantly clear and Joel had failed again and again. You hate to word it like that, but you know that’s what he’s thinking. He’s thinking about Sarah, about Tess. About Tommy who might be already dead. Now, he has to deal with you and Ellie. You, he found in Boston with Tess, covered in bruises and cuts, ration cards stolen and beaten to a pulp. 

You turn to Ellie one last time, she’s already staring at you, it’s slightly unnerving. “Wait here, don’t touch anything that might kill you. Stock up,” 

“Aye Aye Captain.” 

And you leave. 

The sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky. Your eyes lock onto Joel as soon as you step over the threshold; his back turned, letter in hand, shoulders slumped. He looks around the neighborhood, then back down to the letter. He repeats the motion a couple of times as if he can’t believe what’s happening around him. You follow the path his eyes draw, looking around and back at him. You wonder if this neighborhood is similar to the one he used to live in. 

“Hey,” you finally call out, your voice sounding scratchy. Joel flinches, he crumples the piece of paper and stuffs it in his pocket. “Are you okay?” 

“We need to get out of here,” he answers, fingers tightening around the key, he heads to the garage. You follow. 

When the two of you are inside, you see his resolve finally starting to crack. He pops the hood open, looks inside, and slams it shut. Pressing his palms into the smooth surface, his head falls, body shaking with his every breath. Your steps are silent as you approach him, your eyes trail over the roundness of his shoulders, the dip of his shirt. 

You bite down the inside of your cheek, not stopping until you feel a sharp sting. Holding your breath, you place a hand over his shoulder, gently squeezing. 

He flinches, it’s the most minimal reaction, something you only felt because you were physically touching him. “Is this okay?” you ask. 

Joel nods, his swallow audible. “Yeah, it’s fine,” 

“Can I hug you?” 

He tenses under your fingertips. You don’t make a move until you feel the small nod he makes. “Sure,” his voice cracks. “If you want to,” 

Some part of you wants to ask ‘do you?’ but of course, you don’t. Of all the months you’ve known him, he’s never once verbally asked anyone for anything. If you give it, he’ll take it. Your hand smooths a path down his arm, the other rounding his waist. You take a deep breath as you press your forehead between his shoulder blades, you feel the steadiness of his heartbeat. 

Joel is still tense but less than before. Your fingers curl around his wrist, and your other hand lays right above his heart, nails softly biting into the fabric of his shirt. 

Much to your surprise, his hand covers your own, thick fingers lacing into yours. It gives you courage. It gives you hope. You press further into him, hug him with your entire body hoping that the warmth you provide is enough to soothe him, even for a second. 

“Sorry,” he grunts out, squeezing your hand, he brings it to his lips. His mustache tickles your skin, and he eases his lips into you, something between a kiss and a press of skin. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so angry all the time, there’s a weight on my chest that never leaves. You understand?” you nod and he continues. “I’m not like Bill. Not in the way he thought that I was. I’ve always been afraid—Even after…”

You feel him shaking his head, and your grip around him tightens. You do understand. You’ve felt it too, but he made it easier, help you lift that weight despite not being a man of many words, his presence gave you strength. 

You want to stay like this forever. Holding him, feeling him. He’s incredibly warm.

“I’m not strong enough,” he lastly says, whispering your name right after. “I can’t keep you or Ellie safe,” 

You feel the brush of lips over your knuckles. He allows you to cradle his scruffy cheek. It feels like a dream almost, which makes you acutely aware of how much he must be hurting right now. Your heart breaks. 

“You are,” you whisper, fingers moving along his beard. “We’re going to stock up, find Tommy, and get Ellie to the fireflies. Then we’re done. Maybe we can even come back here,” 

He scoffs, “How are you always like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“Hopeful,” 

“It’s because I have you.” 

You know he’s confused. You can feel it simmering under his skin, face heating up under your hand. He’s confused as to how something positive could be spurred from his existence. But it’s the truth. And he needs to hear it. He needs to know that it’s not only grief, and sadness, that follow his every footstep like a shadow. His strength gives those around him a chance to grow, a chance to be more human. Allowing them to live and relax while he carries the burden. 

His methods might be brutal, and the words he says might cut deeper than a knife ever could, but it comes from a place of a twisted sense of love. 

“We should head back inside,” he murmurs and pulls at your hand. “I’ll make the truck battery and we grab what we can while it charges,” 

“Okay,” you take a step back, already feeling the ache of not feeling him against your person. “I’ll go check on Ellie.” 

Joel doesn’t say a word, nor looks at you, he only nods. 

You still can’t fucking believe it. 

Hot fucking water. 

You’re impatiently sitting in one of the guest bedrooms, Ellie is downstairs, already taken her shower and Joel is still inside, a soft slow of steam slithering its way out of the cracks of the door. 

You sitting there and waiting for Joel to get out isn’t probably the most efficient thing to do but you can’t help it, you feel giddy. Your leg bobs up and down as you wait. The mere thought of having warm water rolling down your tattered skin makes your heart leap to your throat—

The running water stops and your eyes fly to the door. A couple of minutes later it opens. A wet, clothed, Joel makes his way through the steam. It looks mystical, almost. 

He stops when he sees you. 

“What are you doin’ here?” 

“Waiting to use the shower,” you grin, not shying away from openly raking your eyes up and down his body. “Looking good, Miller,” 

He rolls his eyes and pushes his hair back, your pussy bottoms out at the way his biceps bulge from underneath the flannel. “Well, I’m done now. Have fun,” 

Joel moves towards the door and you jump up barely in time to catch his wrist. He raises an eyebrow, eyes dropping to meet yours. His skin is still damp, if you were a cat you’d be purring by now. 

“Sit down,” you choke out. “I—fuck—This is hard. I want to—” 

“Don’t hurt yourself tryin’ to come up with words,” he teases and you look at him completely flabbergasted. Joel Miller actually sounds amused. It’s a goddamn miracle. He twists his hand so it’s him holding you instead, locking the door, he moves towards the bed, urging you to follow him as if this was his idea from the get-go. 

“What do you want?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. You’re standing between his spread-out legs, a chill runs up your spine. He reaches out and touches your chin. “Tell me,” 

Instead of telling, you slowly sink down to your knees, fingers moving to unbutton his jeans. He spreads his legs wider as you tug them down, you trail your fingers up his thighs, feeling the soft hairs tickling the pads of your fingers. Joel’s breath hitches, muscles tensing under your touch. He’s semi-hard when you take him into your mouth. His hips buck up as you swallow, swirling your tongue around the head. 

He grows harder with every lick. Your chin strains as you attempt to swallow him whole. You manage to take only half of him, your eyes squeezing shut at the pressure.  Pulling up, you gasp for air. You kiss the side and flatten your tongue against it. Joel cradles your head, thumbs drawing slow circles, he guides you back down to his cock, pushing you further down. 

“That’s it,” he breathes out heavily. “Just a bit more, always so fuckin’ good to me,” 

He forces your gaze up, and his cock twitches above your tongue. You whimper at the way he caresses your skin, so tender, so gentle. “You are too good to me,” he repeats his words from before. “I want you to know that. I ain’t the best with words but…yeah. I’ll try to make right by you,” 

If it wasn’t for his cock in your mouth, you would’ve smiled. Your heart feels so full that it overflows, the muscles of your stomach taut as you sink down, taking him until you feel the soft curls against the base of your nose. Joel holds you there, flush against his pelvis, heavily breathing as you swallow around him again and again. Spit trails down the corner of your lips, nostrils flaring as it gets harder to breathe. 

When he releases you, you pull away with a pop, your lungs burning at the sudden influx of oxygen. You wrap your fingers around the shaft and start stroking him, he moans loudly, hips thrusting into your hand. 

“I want you to cum down my throat, Joel,” you purr. “Use me,” 

And he does. 

The more desperate he becomes, the more stifled his groans get. He thrusts into your mouth, the tip of his cock nudging the back of your throat. You can’t breathe, you can’t think. Joel fucks deeper into your mouth, balls heavy on your chin as his thrusts become shallow. Your eyes roll back, your consciousness teetering on the edge of blacking out completely. 

With a moment of desperation, you cup your mound, rubbing at your clothed clit. The friction isn’t nearly enough and you let out a moan around his length, the reverberations making his hips stutter. 

Joel spills down your throat with a grunt, he presses his molars together, rolling his hips into your mouth. You swallow greedily. He tastes bitter, but that doesn’t stop you from lifting yourself on your knees to push him deeper down. He hisses, cock pulsing between your lips. 

“Jesus Christ,” he slurs, head falling back. “Jesus fuckin’ christ,” 

He pulls you off with a sharp tug, looking down at you between heavy lids. “You good darlin’?” 

You slowly nod, lips parting with a soft sigh. Your mind is in a deep haze of lust, your body aching to be touched, to be filled. You want to say something, anything, but you’re lost for words. 

“Shit, alright come on— Up,” he grabs you by the arm, helping you to stand on your feet. You shoot him a confused look, which he answers promptly. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Is it alright if I help?” 

It takes you a moment to understand the question and answer, “S-Sure.” 

You stand in the bathroom naked with your arms crossed in front of your chest. Joel wraps his arms around you slowly, still hesitant to touch you. He rests his chin above your shoulder, his torso bare, you sigh blissfully at the skin-on-skin contact.  

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs, moving his hand down your stomach. “I thought you were excited,” 

“I am,” you shudder when he drags his nose up the column of your neck, his lips following the path back down. 

“Do you want me to go?” 

You shake your head, “No.” 

He murmurs an ‘okay’ into your skin and gently nudges you forward so you get in. The tiles are cool and slippery. It feels absurd being in such a homey-feeling bathroom after so long. It smells like lavender. 

You stand there, too stunned to move until Joel joins you. He stands behind you, leaning over, naked body pressing into yours, he turns on the faucet, playing with the degree of the water until it pours warm over your skin. 

“How’s that?” he mutters. 

“Good,” a giggle falls from your lips. “It feels so fucking good. Unbelievable,” 

Joel starts washing your body, the touch of his hands has fear behind them. A fear that you might vanish at any second. His fingers trail over every inch of your skin, exploring every curve and valley. You close your eyes, relishing in the sensation of having him this close. He washes your hair, taking his time, massaging your scalp. He moves down to your back, running his hands over your spine, kneading out the tension from your muscles.

His hands move to your front, lingering over your breasts, sending shivers down your spine. He takes his time, leaving no spot untouched. The water cascades over your bodies, swallowing you and hiding you both from the tainted world outside. Wet lips trail the slope of your shoulders, fingers slipping between your folds. He drags them between your slit, circles your aching clit, and repeats. Your head falls over his shoulder, your soft moans drowned by the sound of water. 

Joel holds your chin and turns you until you’re facing him, he closes the distance, molding his lips into yours. His wet tongue follows the seam of your lips and you open up for him, he moves his tongue over yours, licking the inside of your mouth. He swallows your moans and whines as you start to grind down against his palm. 

His tongue presses deeper, and your legs tremble. He grinds the heel of his palm into the sensitive bundle of nerves, groaning into your mouth when slick gushes into his hand. His cock lays above the curve of your ass, hot and hard. 

He grinds into you, his cock pressing insistently between your cheeks. His hands grab your hips, pulling you closer to him, and his mouth moves across your shoulder and neck. His lips find your ear. 

“Is this okay?” he asks, his breath heavy and hot against your neck.

“It is. I want to feel you Joel, every inch of you,” 

His hands reach up, cupping your breasts, massaging gently. His thumbs circle your nipples and they harden beneath his touch, your breath catching in your throat. You roll back into him, your body craving more of his touch— of him.

Joel’s hands move down your body, his fingers tracing every inch. “Turn around for me,” 

You move without hesitation. He takes a step back, letting his hands trail over you. You take a step forward, closing the gap between you and he takes you in his arms, his mouth finding yours. His tongue slips between your lips and you moan into his mouth, lost in him. 

You allow your own hands to explore his body as well. He’s firm, arms strong and thick, hips narrowing as your fingers trace a path down within the water droplets that cling to his skin. 

Affectionately, you caress his stomach. You gently press the pads of your fingers into the soft flesh, loving the way his chest heaves. 

The water continues to pour down, creating a soothing background noise. He pushes his cock between your legs, moving through the slickness and sending sparks of pleasure through your body.

You move together, bodies entwined and breaths mingling. He lets out a low moan as you press your hips against his. His hands move to your back, his fingers tracing the line of your spine. He pulls you closer, his lips claiming yours again and again and again— He moans as he fucks your thighs. The bulbous head of his cock catching against your clit, the corners of your vision fade to black. Your head buzzes.

Joel continues to roll and grind, cock slipping between your legs with ease. During it, he slips into you, stretching you enough that the pain easily bleeds into the pleasure. He holds you, cock twitching as your flutter around him. You’re dripping and making a mess of him, he feels it. You know that he does by the way he bites into your skin, his growl vibrating across your body. 

“You’re so fuckin’ wet,” he says, licking the water off your skin. “Feels so good inside—Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good. I don’t think it’ll ever be enough,” 

“S-Shit Joel,” 

Your breath hitches in your throat, your hips meeting his with each thrust. He holds your gaze, fucking himself deeper, harder into you. Pleasure licks the bottom of your spine, heat rolling in your stomach. The water washes away the sweat but you still burn. Joel’s hand moves up to the back of your neck, his hand big enough to press his fingers into both sides of your throat. 

You nearly go limp at his hold, knees bucking at the pressure. But you trust him, and you aren’t at all surprised when he keeps you up, pounding into you as his lips slither down your neck. 

He moves his hand lower, skimming down your stomach and cupping your sex. His thumb circles your clit, and you gasp as wave after wave of pleasure wash over you. 

You’re teetering on the edge, ready to come undone, when Joel suddenly pulls out. His fingers don’t stop, pinching your clit. You cry out his name as your orgasm rips through you, he holds you close as your body jolts. Your body is left confused, empty, yet still clenching as if Joel’s cock is still inside. 

It’s so intense that tears roll down your cheeks, pleasure ripples over your skin, unfiltered whimpers falling from your lips. Your gaze drops to his cock, your eagerness to please loud in your mind. You notice that he’d already came, seed mixing with the water. 

“I got you don’t worry,” he mutters, lips brushing your forehead. “You’re alright, you’re with me,” 

You blink up, eyes finding Joel’s. A lazy smile spreads across your face, the water beating over your skin now cold. “Was that good?” you ask, kissing the bald spot on his chin. 

“You know it was,” when you give him a knowing look, he sighs. “It was good, thank you, darlin’” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” you grin, hands moving up his arms. “Now let’s get cleaned up one last time and get the hell out of here.” 

[mybeautifuldelirium]

Centuries Apart || Aemond Targaryen x got!Reader part 1

Requested by: @caspianobsessed

CHAPTER LIST

A/N: so I’m obsessed with this idea and would really love to turn this into a series so let me know if you’d be interested xx

Summary: Y/N is from the game of thrones era, the younger sister of Daenerys, but after the fall of her house and the throne being taken away once again, she has no choice but to go back in time to where it all went wrong, trying to change the fate of House Targaryen. But will anyone from that era even believe her? What price will she have to pay?

Warnings: angst, idk if this would be considered incest tbh lol, game of thrones spoilers

This was not how the story was supposed to end. No, the iron throne was meant to be hers, it belonged to her, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the house which had built this very kingdom, now burned to ashes and the rightful heir, slain by her own kin.

But it was not all of House Targaryen that had perished. There was one last dragon left, Y/N Targaryen, The Silver princess , the youngest daughter of the Mad King. The realm thought the princess had died, perhaps not long after her own sister yet she was destined to live, her limp body pulled from under the crumbled walls of the keep and brought to Volantis. Kinvara was her name, the name of Y/N’s savior, the very same red priestess who had once advised Daenerys.

“How did you get there? Why did you save me?” Y/N groaned from pain as she tried to get up.

“The Lord of Light saved you, you were meant to live” she simply replied without even turning to look at the girl.

“They betrayed her. He betrayed her. He is not a true Targaryen, Jon Snow will always be a cowardice bastard” the princess hissed, thoughts of the traitorous actions of her nephew, filling her with burning rage. “We won their battle, my sister sacrificed her dragons, her only children and now the legacy that our ancestors built once again has fallen in the hands of usurpers” tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Pulling at weeds won’t cure what was caused by a seed planted centuries ago” Kinvara recited, staring at the burning flames, as if caught in a trance.

“What are you talking about?” Y/N’s face twisted in confusion.

“You can’t change the future when it was set in stone in the past” the red priestess continued, finally turning around as she slowly walked towards the wounded princess. “There is only one way to ward off the doom of House Targaryen and that is to go back to the era, responsible for the present.

“You mean Robert’s Rebellion?” the girl inquired, still not making sense of Kinvara’s words.

“No, my dear. The damage was done many decades before” the red woman gently took her hand “I can help you go back in time, though you must know every minor action in the past is bound to change the future”

“I don’t think I understand. What am I supposed to do?” Y/N looked up, her violet gaze widened with bewilderment.

“The Lord Of Light saved you for a reason child, he will guide you there” she said, handing her a small mirror, its glass black as night “But will you ever return, I can’t answer that”

“If I’m not to return, how will I know if I’ve changed the fate?”

“You will” the red priestess reverted her gaze back to the burning flames. “But do make your own decision, there is no going back”

A great sacrifice this was for the young princess, throwing her life away, leaving behind all she’d known. But what really did she have left? Everything she ever loved, now gone, the lands of her ancestors, usurped by traitors, the magnificent dragons, sigil of her house, long perished. There was nothing keeping her here.

“I’ll do it, for my house, for House Targaryen”

-

The following moments were a foggy blur for Y/N, she had no recollection of the events after she had spoken her consent. Was it all a fever dream, caused by the milk of the poppy? She cautiously got up, all the pain from her wounds now gone, then she knew. It wasn’t a dream. She was no longer in Volantis.

Everything looked so familiar yet so different, the girl wandered through the busy streets, trying to figure out where she was. Clutching at the hood of her black cloak, Y/N then saw it, the red keep. The very same magnificent castle that just days ago had been burned down to ashes, now standing tall as the banners, blowing in the wind, displaying the dragon sigil, the sigil of House Targaryen, her house. The princess’s eyes welled up as she indulged in the scenery before her, a scenery she had started to believe her eyes would never see.

Distracted by her thoughts Y/N hadn’t noticed the civilians trying to pass by her, until an angry merchant pushed her so hard that she fell right into someone’s arms.

“Forgive me, I wasn’t-“ the girl started apologizing to the person she was thrown into but as soon as her eyes met his, all words suddenly left her.

The man had only one eye, the other covered by an eyepatch, yet as soon as that familiar violet gaze of his met her own, she knew, a Targaryen, just like her.

The man before her was left just as speechless, gently picking up a silver lock of Y/N’s hair as her hood had fallen from the push. But before the girl could comprehend the situation, her back was met with the cold stonewall of a nearby building as the man’s hands were now firmly holding at her neck.

“Who are you?” he hissed, squeezing harder as his eye widened, directly staring at hers.

“My prince, don’t forget why we came here” a dark haired man pulled at her captor’s shoulder “Let's not bring unnecessary attention to ourselves”

“Take her to the castle and make sure no one sees you” the one eyed man commanded with no emotion harshly releasing the breathless girl, leaving her gasping for air. “I’ll seek to my brother’s whereabouts”

His companion tried to object but to no avail, so he sighed, pulling Y/N’s hood over her head of silver locks and grabbed at her arm.

“Who are you, where are you taking me? Let go!” The princess finally spoke but her screams were muffled by his gloved hand so she had no choice but to oblige and follow the older man.

He led her through the crowds of people without a single word of explanation leaving his lips. As they reached the castle, he dragged the helpless girl to a tucked away passage by the cliffs surrounding the Red Keep, leading her through a seemingly endless spiral staircase then pushing her into a small chamber at the very top of the tower.

“You’re to stay here until prince Aemond returns” the man finally spoke “Don’t think of trying to escape”

“Prince Aemond” Y/N’s eyes widened, of course, that explained the eyepatch. Her brother Viserys used to tell her and Dany stories about the tragedy of The Dance of Dragons, she vividly remembered the tale of the one eyed prince, the rider of Vhagar, the kinslayer. This same man who just moments ago had almost strangled her to death, she slid her fingers over the red markings on her neck. What had she gotten herself into

The sun was beginning to set as Y/N’s exhaustion prevailed and she drifted into a light slumber on the dusty daybed only for a fumble of keys to wake her up. And there he was again, Aemond One Eye Targaryen, standing before her, a living proof that none of the prior events were a mere dream.

“Now speak woman, who are you?” The prince said with the same emotionless voice from earlier.

Y/N stood up in front of him, getting a better view of his face. Now that he wasn’t wearing his hood she could finally see the so distinctive silver Targaryen locks falling over his shoulders and across his chest. The princess had never seen any other Targaryen beside her late siblings and it was almost as if she was looking at them through his so familiar violet gaze.

“I’m Y/N. Y/N of House Targaryen” the girl replied, new found confidence in her words.

The man let out a hoarse laugh as he pushed her against the wall.

“This does not true Targaryen make” he taunted, picking up a lock of her silver hair “Now tell me, who are you really? Perhaps one of my uncle’s bastards, a daughter of a whore of his?”

Y/N’s eyes widened at his crude words, unable to contain her rage at the insult of her heritage, she slapped the prince with full force across his smug face. Aemond let out an angry growl but as he turned back his head, the girl had managed to escape his grip and was already running down the stairwell.

The poor girl was in a complete state of frenzy as she was rushing through the long corridors of the keep, not taking a moment to catch her breath. How could she fail her task so quickly, how could she let her guard down, maybe she should’ve never accepted the red priestess’ offer.

Suddenly she bumped into a cold piece of metal, the bewildered face of a guard staring down at her, the girl tried to fight back and get away but to no avail as she was being escorted to the throne room.

“Your grace, this woman was running through the hallways. I don’t know how she got here” the guard said, pushing the princess to her knees in front of the iron throne.

Y/N cursed under her breath as she lifted her head. The iron throne, the very throne her beloved sister had so deeply longed for, the very throne that was to be taken from them, the very throne that was to be burned into ashes.

A boy, not too much older than her was sitting before her, the same silver hair, the same violet eyes, she knew this had to be king Aegon II, the king who had usurped the rightful heir, princess Rhaenyra. There were two other people standing beside him who Y/N assumed to be no other than his mother, queen Alicent Hightower and his grandfather, Otto Hightower. They were all staring speechless at the princess as if she were a rare dangerous creature.

“Do not fret mother, undoubtedly one of Daemon’s bastards” Aemond spat in disgust as he had just entered the throne room.

“I’m not a bastard!” the girl yelled, finally standing up. She tried to hit the prince once again but this time he caught her hand so she spat in his good eye.

“You little-” Aemond cursed in disgust but was cut off by Otto.

“Silence” the older man stood up “You, who are you, who sent you?”

“I’m no bastard” the girl spoke throwing a glance of disgust at Aemond “I am Y/N of House Targaryen, the Silver Princess, daughter of The Mad King, Aerys Targaryen”

“What blasphemous nonsense are you speaking?” Alicent’s voice trembled with hints of dread “Is this one of Rhaenyra’s tricks?”

“I know this sounds insane, but you have to believe me” Y/N pleaded in desperation “I was sent back here from centuries ahead to change the fate of House Targaryen”

“She’s completely mad” Aegon laughed “Take her to the dungeons”

“No! Wait, please! You have to help me” Y/N screamed as she was being dragged out by the guard. She was pulling and kicking at him but he was much stronger than her and kept walking until something fell to the ground, making a rattling sound. Her little mirror from Kinvara.

A bright beam of light stemmed out of the black glass, morphing into vivid images of the past and of the future right until the very moments of Y/N’s life.

The hall had gone completely silent, everyone staring in disbelief, it felt like time had stopped.

“So you were telling the truth?” Otto finally broke the silence, his face pale as a ghost.

“Yes, I told you” the princess replied with a new stroke of confidence, finally releasing herself from the guard’s grasp “I can help you win the war. I know the future”

“Why should we trust her?” Alicent intervened before her father was able to respond “She’s a witch, what if this is all a ploy?”

“Enough Alicent” Otto cut off his daughter, a devious smirk playing on his lips as he approached the girl “She can prove us a valuable weapon”

“And how can we ensure her loyalty?” Aemond shook his head.

“Perhaps becoming your wife and bearing your heirs will keep her faithful” Otto grinned, caressing Y/N’s silver locks.

Tag list:

@ellathefriendlyalpacaaa

@believeinthefireflies95

@caspianobsessed

@hayoooos-blog

@kitkat-writes-stuff

@rhaenyracole

[nothoughtsonlytrance]

Hey everyone! Here is my submission for the Dan and Phil Phasquerade Tumblr Event! First off, as a surprise, I made not one, but TWO songs for the event!

The first one is the main theme song for the event as requested by @wdapteo! 生き甲斐 (Ikigai)! It’s not fully orchestral but I put a bit of strings and horns in there, so I guess it counts lol! I decided to go with a theme that was mainly based around guitars and synths. I also put in a few Asian instruments such as the koto to represent their trips to Japan. The title “Ikigai” is a Japanese concept that refers to one’s sense of purpose or reason to live and is a combination of the words “iki”(to live) and “gai” (reason). This concept can include people such as friends, families, and partners, as well as activities such as one’s hobby or pastime. It basically means that one can find joy in their life by being aligned with their purpose. I thought this concept would be perfect for the phasquerade because Dan and Phil’s ikigai or reason to live is each other. 🥰

As for the background image, I found a picture on Adobe Stock Photos of two masquerade masks that looked PERFECT for Dan and Phil. (The black one is Dan’s and the white one is Phil’s, obviously, lol 😂) Phanartists, feel free to use those masks in ur art! 👌🏻

The second song I made is an orchestral ballroom version of JVKE’s Golden Hour! It took me around two days to do, along with constant listening to the song to get the chords right and then add my own bits on top of it 😂 I’m really proud of this version because lemme tell ya, making orchestral music on Garageband IOS is harder than it looks 😭😅 I still can’t believe how far I’ve gone with making music on this app bc I started using it in 2018 and back then, I had a hard time navigating everything but I slowly worked my way up to where I am now, and tbh I still have far more to go! The background image I used for this is another stock image I found on Pexels that fit the vibe of the song! (Also the two men in the picture looked like Dan and Phil haha 😂)

Anyways, here's a little introduction of me: I’m Kristy, aka @nothoughtsonlytrance. My pronouns are she/they and I am pansexual! (Fun fact, I found out I was pan around the same time that Dan and Phil came out in 2019 lol) I’ve been watching Dan and Phil since around 2012/2013 (so when I was around 12 or 13 years old) because that was the time when I really started watching YouTube and eventually found their channels. I vividly remember watching the Photobooth Challenge video and crying with laughter because it was so hilarious. I continued to look forward to seeing their videos after school and finally got to see them on stage in 2018 for their Interactive Introverts tour when they came to Richmond, VA. (didn’t get VIP tickets for the meet and greet tho so I still have yet to meet them in person 😭🤞) It continues to be one of my favorite memories of them and I remember crying when seeing them on stage. Their videos mean so much to me and I even made my quote for my college graduation cap “Embrace the void and have the courage to exist” because their videos got me through the last two semesters of college!😎👌🏻(Which got noticed by Dan and Phil in their Phan Twitter Memes 2 video!) Words cannot express how proud I am of them, especially after their coming out videos and how they feel more free to be themselves! And I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for them! (And also us haha)

I think the song that will be playing when I take the stage is “Once Upon a December” from the musical Anastasia! It is one of my favorite musicals and I even got to see it in NYC with my family a few years back! Also, as someone who was adopted from Russia, this song really speaks to me personally. I don’t speak Russian fluently, only a few basic words and phrases that my parents taught me that they learned when they were adopting me, (I only speak English) but I’ve been trying to learn the lyrics to the Russian version of the song so I can sing along with it too. (Pronouncing Russian isn’t easy haha)

Anyways, here’s my post for the phasquerade! Hope you all enjoy the music! I had so much fun being a part of this and thank you so much to @serendipnpipity for planning and organizing this!

[emmkitt]

istg if walkie talkie ends up NOT being taco ill be so damn surprised. like if its not taco it’ll end up being some random new antagonist we’ve never even met before (or cobs, which i doubt; i don’t think it’s cobs himself, but i do believe whoever it is could very well be working for him)

itd be weird to introduce a whole new character in the final episode, itd make more sense to play off a character who’s been in the show the entire time and has reason to play the role of antagonist.

season 2 proved taco knows how meeple products work/how to override their functions for her advantage. also she’s proven to be a great manipulator, so it’d make sense how she’d be able to collect a whole gang of people who don’t even necessarily hate mephone all that much, and turn them against him (sprinkles and dr fizz probably being the best examples of this; you even see dr fizz question WT’s actions during the whole confrontation near the end of iii18). It’d also explain why Ballpoint Pen isnt part of the Unvitationals; tbh he seems way too smart to be manipulated, no offense everyone else, even though he does seem to have a similar level of reason to hate mephone as the other Unvitationals.

also shoutout to @somebean81 for pointing this out.

so basically, vote to join III. Understandable as to why Lightbulb, Knife, and Suitcase can’t join the cast, they’re still part of s2, but why Taco? Her arc with Mic has basically ended, I highly doubt they’re going to interact anymore because Taco has shown no real interest in Mic on an emotional level, she just wanted to use her for her own gain; and now that Mic is no longer in the game, she probably sees her as ‘useless’ to her. no chance in manipulating any of the remaining cast, so why not teleport away… and try to manipulate someone else….?

where’d she go when she teleported?

hmm..

(alsoc if they knew Taco wouldn’t be allowed to join, why add her to the poll at all? If Taco is WT it’d give it away to outright say she was joining the iii cast when she clearly isn’t a contestant………. maybe they’re keeping her presence a secret…….hmmmmmmmm)

I honestly think that either A. Taco’s motivation for manipulating Mic could’ve gone way beyond simply wanting to win. Or B., maybe that could be her only motivation. Which is why if WT is Taco it would explain why she’s so keen on mentioning to the remaining competitors that there is no prize. WT has proven to have loads of knowledge about ii, knowledge that probably only a former contestant could have, and there’s really only one former contestant I can think of who’d have such a grudge against mephone/the show in general.

cough.

also season 1 kinda proves taco is a good actor as well, so putting on a new facade as WT probably wouldnt be hard for her. WT could very well be her using a voice changer, but do we really doubt that she could pull off an american accent lmao.

anywyas if this is true i hate taco even more. leave floory and mephone alone.

but thats jsut a theiry. a gay theory

[sosoffete]

HOCUS POCUS 2: Thoughts🔮

It is new and original but it completely respects the first one. Every new element was brought in without fear but with great respect of first movie’s elements and vibes

The Sanderson Sisters are facing a new world and a new situation but they’re still the witches we knew. The actresses were phenomenal in taking this new challenge without missing a beat and without changing their characters’ nature

The music and the fun is just as strong and inviting as it is in the first one

The flashback to the day Winnie became a witch was a gem that gave depth and more meaning to literally everything: the sisters’s personal story and relationship but also the history of magic and witches and Book. It felt a lot like a gift. The young actresses that played the young witches did a great job, bringing in the young versions everything that makes the “old” ones peculiar and well, them

HANNAH FUCKING WADDINGHAM!!!!!! She came and she slayed. She had one scene, which is sad because she could have done a lot more if given the chance, but that still showed how much she can do even if she is given very little screen time. She fucking slayed the role and the scene. She played a witch before but still manages to reinvent the role and do something different, new, original and fucking brilliant! Every little detail, the tone of her voice, the hand gestures, the way she moves, the micro expressions on her face, the freaking look in her eyes!!!! I can’t even! And the fact that in such little time she played a very ample range of emotions and feelings, being able to make them distinct and recognisable. She was happy and she cared about this opportunity she had and it showed. Her scene was short but her role, the mother witch, is *huge* because she started it all and she made it matter. In simpler words she was phenomenal, I love her with all my heart, I’m extremely proud and happy for her because she deserves everything in the world and I am so grateful that she is now part of this iconic project that I love so incredibly much.

BILLY BUTCHERSON! nothing else to add tbh

I loved that the message was simple but very meaningful and it got across loud and clear

I loved everything but the scene where Sarah and Mary are gone and Winnie is left alone broke my heart. Bette Midler really performed some magic there, it felt like she reached inside of Winnie’s heart and gave it to us. Her timing, the tone of her voice, the words she spoke and the way she spoke them, the look in her eyes and the tears trembling but not falling, the final resignation to her fate because nothing mattered without her sisters. It was a masterpiece and yes I cried like a baby

Sequels are often disappointing but this one was definitely NOT. It was simply amazing, they did a great job on all levels. Casting, writing, concept, music, directing. Everything is perfect and I can’t wait to watch it again and again and again and make it a part of my pack of comfort movies. Beautiful, definitely the world’s and *my* favourite sisters ✨💜💚❤️✨

Ps: just like the end of the first movie could be an opening for a second one, I believe this end of the second could be an opening for a third movie. I choose to believe it’s a possibility

[ten-cent-sleuth]

A Galling Yoke, Part 1

Next ->

for the Cutting Communication or Can’t Talk Right Now square on my July Break Bingo card

See this post for main info, including a masterlist and synopsis. See this post for warnings.

Word Count: 1.9k

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x f!Reader

Rating: Teen (and really only that ’cause angst tbh)

“Ma’am?”

You looked up from your needlework and smiled at Mrs Rogers, who was currently dusting your sitting-room windowsill. Such work was naturally a maid’s, but your housekeeper enjoyed your company and you hers.

“Yes, Mrs Rogers?”

“I believe I hear knocking below-stairs.”

You let a bit of impertinence tinge your smile. “’Tis perfectly respectable calling hours.”

She gave you an exasperated look but, with that Rogers forbearance you so admired, refrained from rolling her eyes. “I see your family crest on the street, ma’am. Two gentlemen have alighted from the cabriolet.”

Perking up, you set aside your needlework. “William?”

Mrs Rogers leaned back to take a furtive glance out the window. “I could not say, ma’am. Neither of the gentlemen cuts the familiar figure his lordship does, but I could be mistaken. It has been an age since Lord Pashbroke visited us.”

You nodded with a frown.

As much as your brother’s fortnightly visits had irked you, you were still his older sister, so you still fretted when he had failed to show his ugly mug all autumn. You knew the end of this year’s Season had been rough on him—he had gone back to the family estate, back to your father, yet again without a bride—but you didn’t imagine that would keep him away. If anything, he ought to have been visiting all the more frequently to escape your father’s disappointed glowers and unhelpful lectures.

Just the thought of having to put up with those made your lip curl with displeasure, even though it had been over a decade since you’d been under your father’s authority.

Your butler swept into the room, sparing Mrs Rogers a soft smile before turning to you and reading the calling-cards in his hand: “Lord Coltidge and Mr Holmes.”

A slight gasp slipped past your lips, and as Mr Rogers stepped aside to let the two gentlemen enter the sitting-room, only the decades-old and deeply ingrained strictures of decorum moved you to your feet. Your guests returned your curtsy with bows, the former’s being shallow and almost begrudging, the latter’s being low and almost humble.

Your butler cleared his throat. “My lady, may I introduce you to Mr Holmes?”

You were too dizzy to know if you had actually nodded, but you must have, for Mr Rogers went on—

“Mr Holmes of Baker Street, younger son of the late Mr Holmes of Ferndell Hall. Mr Holmes, this is the daughter of Lord Coltidge, Lady—”

Before even a syllable of your name could get past the man’s lips, Sherlock—Mr Holmes, you admonished yourself—had the nerve to smile and say, “Little petal.”

Your every muscle tensed, your butler’s jaw slackened, and your father’s head whipped around to stare at his… Yes, what was Sherlock to him? Friend? Guest?

In the interest of finding out, you forced out a light chuckle. “Worry not, Father,” you said. “If you recall, Ferndell Hall is neighbours with our family’s estate in Shropshire. As such, the Holmes brothers and I are…acquainted.”

The word tasted bitter on your tongue, and you averted your eyes when you glimpsed the hurt in Sherlock’s own.

“Yes, acquainted…,” he said, all his audacity from moments ago deflating. “I—that is, Mycroft and I—took to calling her ladyship little nicknames. Childish things.”

Turning his nose upwards, your father sniffed. “Childish indeed. You would do well to remember I have brought you here for business, not pleasure.”

Sherlock seemed unaffected by Lord Coltidge’s reprimand, his focus weighing down on you instead. To regain your equanimity, you turned to your servants and nodded in dismissal; Mrs Rogers offered you an encouraging smile before ushering out her husband, who was harrumphing quite dramatically at being asked to make an introduction that had, apparently, been unnecessary.

Gesturing for your callers to sit, you returned to your own chair.

“What business, Father?” you asked, pointedly looking at Lord Coltidge and not the other man in the room. “Could William not have made this trip rather than trouble you with the journey here? I imagine Mr Holmes has quite the schedule, being expected all over London for his cases.”

Sherlock’s gaze sharpened. “You pay attention to my work, ah—” He faltered, and you realised his uncharacteristic stumble was because he had almost called you your Christian name. “My lady?” he amended quickly; your heart twisted, both wanting to leap in gratitude and crumble in disappointment that he and his brilliant mind had so swiftly figured out your desire to act with more formality than the two of you were accustomed to.

Had been accustomed to.

Mr Holmes must be reminded of that, you resolved.

“I hardly have to pay,” you quipped, “when your exploits—and, now, your sister’s exploits—are the talk of the ton every few weeks.”

The look on Sherlock’s face was unfamiliar to you, but before you could puzzle out what it meant, your father’s stern eyes berated you for your impertinence. Demurely—and resentfully—you folded your hands in your lap and looked down at them.

Lord Coltidge hummed nasally. “I see you have felt William’s absence; I concede he has not been himself. ’Tis my concern, however, not yours. No, your concern is this: I have received troubling intelligence that our dear Edmund’s death may not have been the accident we believed it was.”

Ice water soused your already fried nerves. Edmund. Our dear Edmund. Shall I never find peace from him?

“Naturally, I have engaged Mr Holmes’s services to look into the matter. You shall help him in whatever way he requires, madam.”

You clasped your clammy hands together to keep them from shaking. “Of… Of course, Father.” Blast your trembling voice!

“It has been so many years since his passing”—over a decade, your mind specified; over a decade of a widow’s freedom—“but Mr Holmes assures me that this shall be no obstacle. You shall be grateful to him, for he is being generous in taking on this case so unlike his others. I should have realised such generosity was because of a prior connection.”

Your father’s voice turned disdainful; you did not dare look up to gauge whether he was disdaining you or Sherlock.

“Indeed,” he continued, his tone suddenly and surprisingly darkening, “I do not expect this to be a terribly puzzling case.”

“I am—happy, to take it on, nevertheless,” said Sherlock rather hurriedly. Even without looking, you knew his gaze was darting between you and Lord Coltidge. “May we— May I begin, my lord?”

As your father stood and made his way to the door, you finally permitted yourself to raise your eyes. Instantly, they met Sherlock’s; to your surprise, he looked away first.

“Good day, daughter,” your father said, his back already towards you as he exited the sitting-room. You allowed your lip to curl in displeasure once again; had you not seen for yourself just how proper Lord Coltidge could be when he had an audience worth pleasing, you would have thought the man genuinely incompetent at basic courtesy. But no, you knew his rude leave-taking was entirely designed for you.

Yet you had bigger concerns than your father’s scorn. Namely, being left alone with one Sherlock Holmes.

Standing up with all the ladylike poise you did not feel, you regarded your old friend. You had not seen Sherlock in a decade and a half—not even heard from him, which was an abrupt adjustment after years of sharing everything—not since the train platform where promises destined to shatter like tungsten were forged, but he had not changed overmuch. Though his manner of holding himself had matured and his form now filled his stature more neatly, his soft hair still curled disobediently across his forehead and his dark eyes still drank in everything in his view with neither dispensation nor discrimination. His character could not have changed all that much, either, if you could still recognise your childhood companion in his diction, in his appraisal, in his society.

You clung to the hope that you had changed enough for the both of you.

“What do you require, sir?” you asked.

“It has been a while, petal,” he said at the same time.

You winced with the belated understanding that he had been inspecting you as tentatively as you had been him. He winced with the, you presumed, embarrassment of learning you did not intend to reinstate your old familiarity even in your father’s absence.

“I apologise,” he said, his brow furrowed. “It…truly has been a while, your ladyship.”

Yes. For better and for worse, it had.

“I should like to see your husband’s effects to begin,” he went on, regaining his footing with every word. “Have you kept any with you?”

With a nod, you led Sherlock out of the sitting-room. “The master’s chambers and Edmund’s study are largely untouched. A solicitor went through them to carry out his will and a maid ensures they remain clean, of course, but his personal belongings are quite undisturbed.”

“Good. Very good. That maximises the insights I shall gain from perusing them, although—”

You glanced at Sherlock, his hesitation rather unlike him. “Although?”

Blinking slowly at you, he did not speak for a few moments. “You must have been truly fond of him.”

In spite of yourself—or, truthfully, in spite of your quality lady’s education—you scoffed. “What an idea, Mr Holmes. Even my father, who thinks himself wise enough to give me exactly what shall make me happy, no matter whether I asked for it, does not entertain the notion that I was fond of Mr Sulyard.”

Scowling now, Sherlock argued, “I have often noted that when a parent loses a beloved child tragically, they maintain the child’s nursery bed and chest of toys exactly as they had it.”

“I am not a parent, and I did not lose a beloved child,” you countered. “Simply, I did not want to give Edmund any more space in my mind than necessary. Have I need for his bed or his chest of toys? No. Therefore, have I need to spend time and effort on clearing them? No.”

Sherlock opened his mouth, but you cut him off with a grand sweep of your arm.

“And here we arrive at his study,” you announced. “Ring for assistance if you would like to see anything else today. As my father said, I shall help you in whatever way you require, so you may visit multiple days should this afternoon not suffice. Concern yourself not with calling hours—I shall instruct my butler to let you in at any time of day, and you need not greet me. Good day, Mr Holmes.”

Not waiting to see if he would try to get another word in or whether he would bow to your insolence, you curtsied and turned on your heel.

As soon as you were a safe distance from the study, far enough away to not feel suffocated by the knowledge of Sherlock’s presence, of his nearness, you leaned against the wall and squeezed your eyes shut. A visit from a hovering younger brother would indeed have been preferable to this—to the reopening of a thousand wretched wounds.

Thank you for reading. I hope you will keep up with the coming chapters! I’ve got plenty in store for y’all haha. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. :) Feedback is always welcome!

[qqueenofhades]

I was shocked to know that the mom of one of my brother’s friend is terrified she might be lesbian, all because she hangs out mainly with boys, they’re 10-11!!!! (my brother and I have a +10years age gap). She’s told another mom, my mom and their teacher, of how scared she is that her daughter might be gay, she’s taking her to therapy (let’s hope it’s an ethic non-biased professional), but this has been going for like a year and she just won’t drop it, she just adds more things why she’s worried, that she likes soccer and basketball, video games… and she says things like “she’s my only daughter, I don’t want her to be butch”.

Tbh I think the girl needs more love and attention, she’s much more open with the other mom and my mom, she hugs them and has talked with them about grades and stuff, before she tells her mother because she’s afraid of her reaction.

The other mom, my mom and I were shocked that a youngish mother would still think like that!! Both my mom and the other mom are in their 50s and I’m in my mid 20s, I think the mom is closer to my age than to their age. I can’t believe there’s still people that won’t accept their children for how they are, and she doesn’t even know if her daughter is truly gay, she’s just assuming because of the things she likes 💔

There is this pervasive idea (related to the "theory of progress" in history, which is equally false) that the younger generations are always more progressive, more tolerant, more open-minded, and generally "better" than the older ones. Which can sometimes be true, but not at all in every case, and not nearly as much as common wisdom would hold. That's why we're getting worrying polls about Gen Z boys and men being more likely to view feminism as "toxic" than baby boomers, that ever-increasing percentages of young people either don't know about the Holocaust or doubt that it happened, and other troubling statistics that show the result of years of propaganda, social media disinformation, fake news, big-time misogynist manfluencers like Andrew Tate, leftist antisemitism, and all the rest. So.... yeah. It makes for grim reading.

This is why, as noted, the idea of history and human belief only moving in one direction (from "less progressive" to "more progressive") is flatly false, as we've seen over the last decade in particular. Human beliefs are malleable, can (and often do) go backward as well as forward, are dependent on social context, and will by no means get better just because chronology has gone forward. So yes, a young mom could absolutely have deeply stereotyped and harmful gender/LGBTQ+ views, especially thanks to the social media culture that glorifies "tradwifing" and "cottagecore" and all these other concepts that represent patriarchal gender roles with a dash of Instagram Aesthetic and "free thinking" (which somehow always ends up as "don't trust modern medicine and don't vaccinate your children!") That stuff is absolutely RIFE, and plenty of supposedly more-liberal younger moms and women are eating it up. Obviously, worrying that your daughter "might be butch and/or non-girly" because she likes sports and video games is dangerous nonsense for any number of reasons, but it shows how this been almost as effective (if not more so) than plain blunt misogyny at encouraging women to embrace regressive mindsets and decide that no actually, feminism is bad. Welp.

Anyway, I feel bad for the kid. I hope your mom and the other mom, and any other actually supportive female mother figures, are able to give her positive affirmation, regardless of what her identity is or ends up being, because it sounds like her mom is going to do a number on her. Hoo boy.

[n-14-a2509]

Umbrella academy s4 ramble spoilers!!

Huge ramble ahread for the characters and just general thoughts

Not loads to say about some of the characters but plenty about the rest

Also I’ve never read the comics, but have seen that this season may reference a few, so there’s a good chance I’ve miss understood stuff.

Oh! The whole five and Lila thing didn’t actually happen you know? You just remember it from a different timeline not this one dw it’s all good.

But seriously, if the ending was like the first three seasons where they stop the apocalypse but this time for good, if they somehow completely got rid of the Marigold and the Durango, i wouldn’t be mad at the repetition because I had really hoped for the cliché of super happy normal ending. With them all among family, friends, new faces, the lot.

I actually didn’t mind seeing the handler, hazel and Agnes if they weren’t secret agents, could’ve been interesting. Even though they might not be all been from the same point in time but what ever. Happy ending am I right?

Five

I know five is quite a common aro/ace icon, and I really like it aswell. But if this ^ were the actual ending and he didn’t have to worry about any upcoming apocalyptic events, no taking care of his super powered family, no being stuck in the past/future/alternate timelines, I honestly wouldn’t have minded if we got a quick shot of him bumping into someone new or even him seeing or working with someone who reminded him of Delores. Would’ve been good for him to meet someone who helped to keep him grounded and relaxed. And he might’ve gotten a more civilian job. If given the chance to not worry about extraordinary stuff at least. I think he only went to the cia because something was up.

I don’t really get how quick he was to give up on his family when (no matter how rude or how much he insulted them) his family were what kept him pushing forward and were, arguably, what he came back for in s1. I also know he had no real life person in the first apocalypse, was stuck there and didn’t have the leisure or timeline hopping to suit his fancy, and wasn’t desperate to get back to his family by any means and HAVING to adapt, and didn’t have someone with him who’s also been through some serious shit. But. Really??? I’m fine with being corrected if I’m wrong and I can’t write stories or characters at all, but it just felt so out of character.

They didn’t even show them growing closer by talking about their experiences or feelings or thought of what to do or the current situation. It felt like attraction by proximity. Like hey you’re a girl I’m a boy wink wink. It would been a bit more believable to an extent if they showed a tad bit of communication not a fucking shave. But I know there were less episodes. Actually no because if there were more there’s a chance it would’ve meant more of those types is scenes :(

Also where the fuck did the book come from what

Luther

Ok so Sloane. His wife. Gone.

He briefly mentions her but like she’s a good friend who’s living far away in a different country or something like “aw man she would love this :D” my guy she might be dead or non existent wtf 😭

The stripper thing made me laugh but after thinking for like two seconds why was that his job? I hate to sound rude and I’m not trying to shame the job or occupation but surely he’d be clever enough to get a good job somewhere or at least something higher up the strip pole than legs and eggs. It’s so confusing because literally none of the characters talk about the past 6 years! A lot is given in context or is shown on screen or snippets on conversations. But much less than previous seasons.

But I love how he’s still trying to be kind and include people. Season 4 won’t make me hate Luther I just hate how they treated him I suppose :/

Also the actor slipped up a lot with his American accent. More so than previously. Didn’t bother me tbh I found it quite funny

Lila

Biggest thing is the her and five thing. I dead ass thought it was over when she was laughing explaining to Diego “no lol that was five he was disguised I don’t love him” Why were they hinted at before the subway bit? Thought they were the “apocalyptic brother sister duo who’ve both been through some shit and know each other quite well despite them being snarky and rude to one another”

I wasn’t minding her wanting a break from normality because like 90% of her life was fighting, the audience would connect the dots on her missing something she’s always done. But I wasn’t a huge fan of the reasons of her and Diego bickering. And when they send the kids away neither of them cared in the slightest. Allison in S1 ONLY thought of Claire and what was best. Hell if Claire had a cold or was a bit too tired she’s be there in a heartbeat fuck the apocalypse Claire needs her.

Parents aren’t the same and even think and do things for their kids differently I get it. But you could tell Allison was a mother in S1 despite hardly seeing Claire on screen but Diego and Lila?? I’m sorry if I missed it but unless they were literally holding their kids hand or picking them up you would barely be able to tell they’re parents. Might just be me but surely they’d be more concerned or bring them up in a better light? Correct me if I’m wrong I really want to be

Diego

Similar thing to Lila really. His reaction to five and Lila was me. what was happening. Him as a dad was quite sweet and him trying to be the best he could was good for him and great for his character but again there were just odd bits that felt out of place or a bit too open ended

Victor

Mvp. Didn’t cause the apocalypse, was there for his family when he could and is a sweetpea. I’m massively biased but to be fair there isn’t much to judge, his arc wasn’t as wide or tall as others. Was more of a direct line. Felt good to see him shout at hargreeves about how he’s more than a background teammate and just wanted to be seen. I liked the writing for him. Didn’t go far tho I guess

Wasn’t a fig fan of the no explanation of the he’s dated all the women lol he’s single. Like wtf give a bit more context does he struggle? Does he just have bad taste or were the writers just looking for a quick joke i’m not supposed to look into?? Who knows

Klaus

Sorry but do the writers hate him so much that they give him this whole ass storyline that vaguely stemmed from the main but then fucked off to nowhere and he then just hopped back in in time to see a love triangle with two brothers and an in law. It felt like recycling the whole junkie getting a fix and being rescued thing again. Seeing him being so protective of Claire and wearing a helmet in a car was too much he’s such a softie for his family. I still love his character but would’ve liked a bit more development after the marigold thing and living ‘mortal’ for 6 years :(

Ben

I might be the only one but the whole “anti” marigold was super interesting, but poorly executed I thought. Wasn’t big on him and Jennifer falling for each other right away but eh it’s media they need romance.

Him being infected/over taken by the Durango wasn’t the worst part in my opinion and could been a really good opportunity for character building or maybe like a fate/destiny and he’s also linked to apocalypses like his siblings. Or given they’re opposites or cause bad things when together could’ve been foreshadowed by all the umbrellas being together causing stuff maybe.

The offhanded comment about him having tentacles and her being cut out of a squid was just daft. What the fuck were we supposed to think. “Wait YOU have shoes?? I have feet!! CLEARLY we’re destined to be together 🥺” I really didn’t care for it and we never got told why she was in a fucking squid or that big box. Or hell why Ben got shot by his dad. It WAS explained but seriously? I thought it was hinted at him being too powerful or potentially self destructive to the point of getting killed by accident, not opening a crate. This would’ve linked so much better to him being foreshadowed at being LITERALLY self destructive or dangerous with Jennifer and the Durango

Jennifer

Why was she in a box? How did they find out about the Durango if she didn’t cause a cleanse? If we’re taking it at face value, SOMEONE knew that Durango+Marigold=big fuck off apocalypse.

Whether it’s Reginald or someone else, was it though tests? If it was and they tested on her or someone else with Durango then what happened to them? If they died it would’ve been from the cleanse no? If not then that means that Reginald or someone else found a way to stop the cleanse. If that’s true, how come it wasn’t possible this time? If it’s not possible to stop the cleanse, then how did they know what a cleanse was? So confused it’s not been properly thought out or it’s too open ended even thinking about it for 5 mins

Could’ve been a really good storyline, I didn’t mind her and Ben but again what’s with the instant romance and we must be together. This is probably a me thing so I’ll park this thought here

Reginald/Abigail

What were they there for? Viktor got to shout at him but I was super underwhelmed by them both when Abigail was hyped up and revealed and the ONLY a thing that referenced her being on the moon or her sudden appearance was “thanks for looking after me Luther” “uhh yeah sure that’s ok” I’m just shell shocked they were so well written into the show and had shit all to do. And for some reason Abigail can skin and wear people??? Hello????? Never brought up or the alien thing or robo regi. Yeh just leave it not like I wanted answers who tf want that from a question

Diego/Lila/Five

I’ve said this, but man fuck that. I hate love triangles with a burning passion it’s so “girl can’t choose between basic and average” and with a brother a brother and a sister in law? Even if it wasn’t a woman with two men and it was literally any other combination of sex/gender it’s fucking messy and puts strain on the most precious things people have. And five and Lila didn’t pull away like “no this is wrong I’m married/I have kids/you’re my sister/brother in law.” It’s just a wet blanket on top of this season. And five teleporting them because Lila grabbed him and said “I need you to” holy shit I need men in black to make me forget that. It wasn’t good :(

Overall the general marigold/durango thing could’ve worked. Repeating myself but it was poor excecution. No hate to the people who weren’t writers there were some excellent shots and cinematography in this season and I liked it a lot. I was nearly able to feel the wind and smell the subway because I was THAT immersed. Brilliant in many many places. The Durango monster thing at the end has real weight to it when moving and I was panicking as it kept growing. Sound design in all 4 seasons in beyond exceptional I adore it. And the sound track. Even though the story was odd the way parts of it were told was very well done and I was on the edge of my seat for a few parts in suspense. Other parts I legitimately skipped through and had to miss the lighting and acting due to the messy fucking love triangle.

Ramble over I’m going to cry then look at fan art to cheer myself up