#i stg i'm on a roll with these lmao

[ophexis]

After days of travel, you finally arrive at the small town of Royal Mount, so named after the sacred hill resting at its center. Your contact asked you to meet them at the local inn, where they would impart delicious culinary secrets upon you.

You quickly notice a sign advertising a place called Tym Hort's inn. This must be the place. As you enter, a hooded figure wearing a strange billed hat waves at you. They lower their hood as you approach, looking up through shining glasses. "Greetings my friend! You may call me Phex. I believe you are here to discuss a most delicious topic, are you not?"

You find nothing odd about them, save for your inability to settle on any pronoun to refer to them. They regard you with an amused look despite their clear sleep deprivation and as they invite you to sit, they open a large grimoire, surely full of secrets each more delicious than the last...

The first dnd cookbook! Winner of the last poll!

This is a book I hadn't planned on getting initially. I watched misohungrie's review, and it seemed like a really nice book, but despite the fact that I've played in a few campaigns using dnd, I've never actually played in the Forgotten Realms settings (or any other of their settings) and always in homebrews. So I wasn't that yet interested in the lore or references.

And then I played Baldur's Gate 3.

So I now have this book, and it's one of my favorites of my collection lmao. I haven't gotten the second book yet but I intend to eventually!

The book separates its recipes by "cultures", basically most of the basic playable races in dnd. Uncommon has a mix of stuff, from dragonborn, gnomes, tieflings. And then drinks have their own chapter. Between each chapter there's also a nice menu reproduction for various inns, which I love.

I'm only really familiar with forgotten realms now that I've consumed the entire wiki for Baldur's Gate purposes and finetuning my oc's backstories lmao but there are references to many others, like Greyhawk, Dragonlance, Ravenloft and a few more. My good friends, who are much more powerful nerds than I am, gave me a brief summary of all of them so that was also pretty cool. There's also at least one obligatory Drizzt reference, which I have to mention bc I'm about to get into that shit to indulge in the drow obsession I could never have in high school.

ANYWAY.

The recipes are varied, and there are a LOT in there that interest me ngl. I've already cooked two! I've made Dwarven Flatbread (easy and delicious!) and Halfling Chili which I believe I've posted about before. It is also very delicious (I remade this week! I didn't post about it bc I'm supposed to be cooking something new lmao). It uses cocoa powder and cinnamon amongst others in the spices. And delicious bacon.

Human recipes have variety, are pretty hearthy and generally go for a "comforting" vibe, I would say. They go from hand pies to seafood bouillabaisse or ribs to candied apples! Very fun chapter.

The Elven chapter unsurprisingly has a lot of light recipes, a ton of veggies, with some seafood! But for the most part it's a lotta veggies and fruits, and the one drow recipe, mushroom steak!

The Dwarven chapter, by contrast, has a lot of meaty recipes. You've got potatoes, sausages, beer, bread, rich desserts. (kinda my favorite chapter I think lmao)

The Halfling chapter is all about hearthy, homely(?) recipes that can be shared with many people, and many soups. This one is also very good.

Uncommon cuisine has a wide range of recipes. This is the chapter that has the halfling chili. Because normally it's made of...well you know. But you can make it with turkey, if you're not a dragonborn of very specific taste.

And finally the drinks are about half and half alcoholic and not, which I think is nice as someone who doesn't drink. It also has the second drow "recipe" which is like a mushroom "tea" (or like a stew?).

Now, there is one major problem with this book.

So many recipe photos missing!! So many!!

And it's particularely frustrating for this book because sometimes a page will have an environmental photo of like trees or whatever. But why not put food photo there instead?? Bummer.

This is a pretty village and all but do I really need it? I don't think so lmao.

Now after agonising over the meal choice (and over my mental health) for the last 10 weeks, I finally decided to make the Vedbread, a cheesy, mushroomy bread roll that sounds delicious. I just gotta go out and buy some shiitake mushrooms soon. Misohungrie happens to have made that one too (kinda the reason I chose it lmao it looks delicious) so you should check out his video too if you're interested in the book! He's also kinda the reason I bought the book in the first place, and he brings up the weird photo issue too.

Overall I really like this book, because I like ordinary daily life lore and you get a pretty good amount in that one, on top of having delicious recipes to try out. The recipes aren't super crazy in terms of trying to make them weird or unique, but they all seem pretty solid. They all have a little flavor/lore blurb before every recipe, and it's fun to get some tidbits like "tieflings love spicy food" or whatever yknow lol.

My tab crashed and I can't remember what I was following up with, but I wish y'all success in your culinary adventures and campaigns! I'll make a post for the vedbread when I get around to making it!

[boytoykevinday]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

8/?

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

'california didn't see the solar eclipse' actually fuck u i see a solar eclipse every time jean moreau steps in front of jeremy knox

#😤

72 notes

💃fox-me-up

neil josten:

me:

#neil stans roll up #neil tag

365 notes

♛ queen-of-exy

most of my mutuals are kevneil bitches but are we forgetting that andrew minyard literally smashed riko's arm to pieces on live tv bc riko was going to hit neil?????? ("allegedly" etc etc 🙄)

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

uh. riko like, killed himself over that btw

♛ queen-of-exy

i'm not talking about riko here am i, i'm talking about andrew and neil

#if i say rip or whatever to riko does that make u more comfortable #0310

122 notes

🐋 sexyexy

when get around to writing this kevneil soulmates AU it's over for you hoes

🫡 exyisntreal follow

will you ever write it tho

🐋 sexyexy

😤 fuck oFF

#we all know the answer is no but you don't have to say it

39 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

every time i see kevin day in an edit on booktok i lose ten years of my life

#idgaf that she's dreamy or whatever give her BACK #jumpscare fr

13 notes

🦷 introverted-misha-collins follow

i'm just living my life, i didn't need to know exy fandom was a thing in general and i DEFINITELY didn't need to know that the exy rpf tag on ao3 has 30k+ fics

🙀 catboyneiljosten

#no WAY would someone ever do that :O

765 notes

🤳 badexyimagines

imagin..e.....

your boyfriend andrew minyard gives you two roses. he says 'i'll love you until the last rose dies, y/n' you cry in happiness, thinking one of the roses is fake; he takes out a lighter and lights them both on fire. 'lmao bye' he says, walking away you cry

#bad exy imagine #andrew minyard #exy #psu #next person who thinks this account isn't a parody dies #i'm sure this is extra fake as andrew would never give anyone roses at all even just to light them on fire

376 notes

🧜‍♀️ sapphicexy

you can say I have a type (lesbian goalies)

#if you rb and tag this andrew minyard i stg........

432 notes

🌸 a-softer-exy

jean moreau - golden

#usc #university of southern california #usc trojans #trojans #jean moreau #exy #web weave #poetry

3,007 notes

[hrodvitnon]

Just got out of my first viewing (spoilers so tag accordingly)

Yeah that was the most ridiculous shit ive ever seen and i had a blast lmfao.

--

To get the few negatives out of the way: Syclla and Tiamat got COOKED. That's crazy. Especially Tiamat. I had no idea she was in the movie and like choked on popcorn when they said her name. First onscreen appearance and she dies in like 3 seconds... sucks to be her. But honestly... this is probably one of those moments where Fan Content messes with the perception of a canon thing, at least for me. It hurts a lot more because of the emotional attachment from stuff like Ozymandias's story, Shamhat, and other adjacent stuff. If I had never seen those and watched her die I'd probably think "oh she had a cool design, but whatever". But yeah, my only serious complaint is her being shafted and I don't even really think I can call it objective because there was definitely an attachment there.

Ok besides that this might be my new personal favorite Monsterverse. Could be recency bias but I don't think so. Every human is at the very least entertaining. Everything Trapper did in this movie made me crack up, hearing Bernie say the words 'Discord chat' and 'Ghidorahstan64' (i stg this was a callout of some kind) onscreen gave me terminal whiplash, and although Jia and Andrew's story was sorta surface level, it was still endearing. I'd rather have a good human storyline, sure, but if we can't have that I'll settle for entertaining.

Here I thought Suko was gonna be an annoying marketing ploy to sell toys... I physically snorted in the theatre when Kong slammed him into that one ape. MVP of the film lmao. Mothra was... also there. Yeah, it really shows that she was a last minute addition. But DAMN she sent Godzilla ROLLING with a single attack. Speaking of, I don't think the Tia-Zilla form was as underutilized as I've heard people say it was. Especially that new Atomic Breath effect. Holy eargasm.

Oh man though, Shimo and Skar are fantastic. Skar hits the same beat as like a Celestial Dragon or Vladimir Harkonnen with way more grace than I would've expected from a big monkey. They go shockingly dark with his treatment of the ape-slaves and Shimo... especially with that female ape insinuation.

Holy shit poor Shimo, man. I honestly thought the Skar controlling her aspect would be kinda downplayed and just regular mind control, not genuine torture of some kind. I love that they let her have characterization by resisting him at every chance she gets, and that the pain control isn't always active (i'm assuming that's the insinuation of keeping her all chained and behind magma, it depowers and restrains her when Skar's not actively using her), further insinuating she gets merciful breaks from hellish enslavement only to be yanked back into it whenever Skar needs something turned into a popsicle. I think my favorite moment in the film is right after Suko shatters the crystal and the light blue luminescence fades to reveal her actual eyes for the first time. Eyes are used throughout the film to show subtle humanizing features, like Godzilla falling asleep in Rome, Kong's wide eyes when he sees his kin, and shock when Shimo realizes she's free. Having her eyes glowing the whole film makes her seem way more monstrous and inhuman, so when that suddenly goes away she starts getting framed as just an animal. Also her eyes are pretty. Also, I lied, that wasn't my favorite part of the film. My favorite part was Kong giving her chin scratches and that cute half-hug. This needs to be normalized. He needs to hug Godzilla next film. I will pay someone a king's ransom for this to happen. Final little detail, I like that Kong doesn't do his final roar from on her back but standing next to her, on the same level as all the other apes. He doesn't look to elevate himself over her or everyone else like Skar did, which is a great touch.

Also also also: Think it's time for a Doug solo film where he tries to steal all the Titans' food. Make it happen Legendary.

Much agreement here! I'd love for a solo Mothra MonsterVerse film to really capitalize on her lore and give her stuff to do (without dying at the end preferably); maybe establish some connection between the Chen family and Jia. Also, I need a little shot of Mothra going to visit Godzilla while he's sleeping in the Colosseum and just cuddle up to the big lug.

Andrews and Jia were a welcome breath of fresh air after GvK reversed Mark's characterization and Madison became... that. There was still some slight tension between Jia not feeling like she belongs and Andrews wanting to do right by her, even if it means possibly giving her up, only for Jia to go "you're my mom, you're my home, stop being dramatic". You love to see it.

Adding to the Doug solo film idea... Shimo adopts him because he's cute and she thinks his shenanigans are hilarious. Let us have fun wholesome times!

[amourtoken]

AHHH HAII I’m so glad you enjoy the reaction pictures I send you because I choose the best for you ☺️💕

And a very simple thought popped into my head as I was strolling through the Halloween aisle at Walmart and I had to share it with you…what positions do we think would be Ari’s favorite, because I’m thinking some of them have to involve real intense eye contact because he’s an evil little shit that likes making you look at him as if he’s not fucking you within an inch of your life

U genuinely make my day I stg every time u show up I'm like YES GODDDDDDD 😩😩

BUT agreed for sure this man needs eye contact cause he needs that connection.

Im thinking firstly he's gotta be a missionary fan but he at least spices it up with a hand around your throat keeping your attention directly on him. It's a pretty versatile position honestly and idk why people think it's boring cause there's so much you can do with it. If you're feeling more vanilla that's fine, it fits in perfectly and you can just lazily wrap your legs around his waist while he rocks into you and presses kisses all over your face while complimenting every inch of your body n telling you how much he really loves you. On the other hand, he can shove your knees up to your ears and choke you out until black spots are flooding your vision and you're in tears from the way his cock is hitting all the right spots over and over and over. Either way, it's the perfect position for some lovely eye contact until your eyes roll back.

He strikes me as the type to loveeee cowgirl too cause he can hold you so fucking close. There's great opportunity for eye contact there too when your arms are around his neck and you're bouncing on his dick n whining his name when he sinks his nails into your soft hips. Usually he doesn't mind doing all the work but he'd be lying if he said he didn't think watching you fuck yourself on his cock while he leans back against the couch cushions with a blunt in his hand wasn't heavenly.

The position you two are in ultimately doesn't really matter to him though as long as you're as close as you can get. He needs to have his hands on you, arms around you, eyes on yours. Doesn't matter how. He hated going on tour without you cause sure he can fuck his fist and eventually get off but that'll never ever compare to burying his face in your neck and holding you as close as he possibly can while his cum drips out of you.

As an added treat lmao here's some links that remind me of him:

X

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[aprincessofthevoid]

The filling that fell out almost a year ago has finally come back to haunt me... could hardly sleep last night cus my face hurt so bad. TWO naproxen didn't even touch the pain. (Tho that's nothing new tbh). Don't want a long aas post clogging up anyone's dash, so rest is under the cut.

Also didn't proof read this super well cus now that I'm not as sore I'm getting sleepy cus I didn't sleep much last night so if it's a Lil choppy I apologize lol.

Over the years, I noticed pain meds never really worked, so I didn't bother with them. The option was to take the max dose, or potentially more to get relief, but doing that consistently was just not something i was down for. But at the dentist for the filling that fell out more recently, dude dipped into multuple syringes of the lidocaine, and had to numb the nerve in the hinge of my jaw for me to not feel him digging around in my face.

Found the same when I had an iud inserted, took meds before as instructed, even brought a joint lmao. As well as going for the discomfort of that giant ass 10g needle stabbed into my cervix, and it did NOTHING... I've got a fairly high pain tolerance, but I stg I had a better time when I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once... and those were ALL infected, two were impacted, and when treating said infection, I had a freak reaction to the amoxicillin for the first time in my life... go me...

ANYWAY, shit I tried off Google and how it worked...

Sensitivity toothpaste rubbed into my gums/teeth helped a very short time. Sent the bf for orajel the next morning n honestly it worked about as well as the toothpaste, just for longer.

Also strongly mint?? Like specifically just peppermint antacid in my mouth helped rhe ache?? Apparently it's a thing lol. Honestly was just looking for a distraction from the ache n felt like the minty feeling might help.

Salt water rinse helped a little too. Did a rinse but a VERY gentle swish, better to puff out your cheeks and roll your head back n forth. Kinda burns but it will help kill any infection as long as it's minor.

Had some tea earlier on with sage, lemon balm, clove and rosemary. As all of them have geberal anti inflammatory or anti bacterial properties. Weirdly another tip I found was just a damp black tea bag placed against the affected area, actually felt FANTASTIC but the downside was it made my spit SUPER bitter if I swallowed it, so my option was wanting to gag at how gross it was, or be in pain... and obviously couldn't sleep with it in there cus that would be dangerous. Might try just drinking some black tea or brewing the black tea with the other herbs for some extra kick, no honey sadly but I'll have to deal with the bitterness.

Acetaminophen worked a lot better than the naproxen here. Was told by a Dr for a different pain I was in, that I COULD take them together tho (as in one of each), but since the naproxen didn't seem to do fuck all I'm gonna just do 2x extra strength Acetaminophen. Which also isn't ideal long term, but I CANNOT sleep with the pain I'm in so for a temporary situation I'm just gonna have to drink extra water or sum...

Other option is the T3 I had leftover after my tooth removal, had some ibuprofen too but left those when I moved away from fam. I'd rather take an extra Tylenol than the codeine tbh. Just feels a Lil less harsh on the system.

Fingers crossed the boyfriends work insurance goes thru so I can get this delt with... otherwise I might have to just have to be in pain to give my organs a break from all the drugs 🙃 gonna try my netti pot to hopefully clear any gunk out my sinuses as the ear on that side is a Lil plugged too (tip. Take a deep breath, close mouth, plug nose, and swallow. Works WAY better than plugging your nose and blowing).

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi S! Congrats on your finals. I also finish mine! I’m gonna be talking Evanstan to you now. I know Chris likes American Football and with the European Soccer Cup. I was wondering if Sebastian watches it. Romania just lost to Belgium!! Sorry I’m Belgium and Im a bit tipsy So while Im really glad we won. I find it sad that Sebs birth country lost. It imagine Chris and Seb watching soccer together, after all the games Chris forced Seb to watch. And Chris not understanding the rules, because wtf are those and the players rolling in the grass with every touch. I stg they should start an acting carreer. Except for Mbappe. His nose was crOOCKED like damnnn what a bloody mess. Sorry for this mess! Luv u ❤️❤️

Thanks! Right back at you, too--good job for finishing!

*rubs my hands together* Evanstan, yes, I'm always down to talk about them 😏 And while I can't say I know much of anything about soccer or American football for that matter, lmao, I can say that I LOVE this. It's so fucking cute! Even though, to my knowledge, Seb hasn't spoken about actively following sports, I can totally see that he'd want to tune in, if nothing else, than to support his country. Plus, exactly, why not get a little tipsy and loose? Just enjoy it.

Relax and have a good time on a weekend, blowing off steam from the couch in front of the TV.

Besides, Sebastian finds Chris so endearing when he's cheering and happy and rowdy over his favorite team, so why not try it out from the other side? It looks like fun. Even if yeah... the team Seb's (and by extension, Chris, too, is) rooting for don't win. But that's okay.

With the score not in their favor, Seb will just pretend to care more than he really does, pouting, so Chris will try and cheer him up with cuddles, and, suddenly, it's all better.

...adding some Chris gifs because he's a dorky frat boy and Seb and I love him to death, lmao

(P.S. you might be interested in this evanstan au I made up with stunt performer Chris and actor Seb, somehow it feels relevant)

[twinknote]

I am not at all upset with u giving ur pup rawhide -- I have no dog as of yet -- but I wanna know the news so I can reassure all the pup owners in my life who are nervous!!

aaaaa sorry this is so late but I'M HERE to spread the good word

ok first of all this is Not a paid advertisement lmao but as a dog parent and professional who is very skeptical of all dog product manufacturers (and also ALWAYS believed that rawhide is bad, esp coming from a veterinary background) i will 100% be reordering this stuff for the foreseeable future

one of my fav and most trusted trainers always recommends this brand, farm hounds, bc ppl are always asking what chews she buys for her dogs, one of whom is a chewing Machine. i got a coupon from her and (skeptically) ordered their rawhide rolls BECAUSE:

the vast majority of standard rawhide products only use the inner layer of hide; the top outermost layer is used for tanning bc it's more durable and leather sells for more $ than dog chews. the hide from this company uses the Entire hide sourced from small farms

standard rawhide is also chemically treated (which is why it's generally that light white-ish color) to speed up the production process to make more $ instead of allowing them to dry naturally, which this company does

so i have two big dogs at home who love to chew. so i ordered these and started giving them 20-30 min daily chew sessions (1. edible chews like this should always be supervised 2. that's enough time for all the satisfying chewing endorphins to be released in their little brains and for them to scrape off the plaque from their teef, and 3. i wanted the hides to last longer than 2 days lmao)

and i am genuinely So impressed by how long they lasted and how durable they were. the other dog nola (60lb) actually still has like half of hers left after almost 2 weeks, and the only reason echo (90lb) finished hers is bc ppl have been working on the house and she was rly stressed so i just let her chew while someone was working in her line of sight for a while

ok ty for coming to my ted talk on rawhide, moral of the story: don't buy regular rawhide but some of it is actually good and dogs need to chew on non-plastic stuff. also here is a link to their website, they also have other chews and treats that are ethically sourced and produced! (i stg this is not a fucking advertisement shkjshhsd i'm just glad to have found them bc most manufacturers Suck)

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, April 9th, 2024!

12:45am: Studied, now taking a nap till 4am lol wish me luck!! Had delicious meatballs for dinner, had a great day, saw the solar eclipse (!) and didn't hear from old guy which was nice for once!! Tired of him calling and ruining my Mondays with his sob stories :) I'm just saying I actually had a hella productive day because I wasn't triggered before noon! Hallelujah ❤️ good night everyone I love you all :) ❤️

12:26pm: I'm so burnt out and doneeee. Also just ewwwww ick what a fucked up guy fr I had to put him in his place in order for him to treat his gf right 🤢 fucking hell I'd be so embarrassed if he posted me ever again like I think I would fr cry out of embarrassment. I want to tell her so badly but(!) that would only put bad karma on me I really don't want that, just let her find out eventually ❤️ yuck

4:41pm: I think he blocked me from messaging him, but didn't actually block me? Why are there so many different ways to ignore someone lmao I didn't even know you could do that. Sucks for him. I'm done with my pediatric kidney transplant research, 🥳 and he's not around. Kinda like he died or something. He really went with me through all the bullshit but didn't want to stick around for the end result is kinda fucking crazy and stupid tbh. Really really really crazy to think another guy is gonna get the big baller Dr. version of me, and he only got the stressed out poor broke ass weight gaining student version but whatever. It's not like I wasn't going to make it at some point. Anyway, his loss and someone else's gain 😎❤️ You would think he'd appreciate it the most, but he was too pussy to have a bad ass Dr. as a wife and just REALLY wanted to be the aLpHa MaLe and needed a lower level bitch 😬😂 The definition of self sabotage and toxic masculinity/ red pill bs. I need a confident man to match my energy and that's really some shit he was never able to do. It doesn't matter what you do for a living either I just need you to own your shit. He always wanted me to be quieter or more chill because he just wasn't shit. Every time I shined he looked like a rusty piece of junk instead of just shining with me. It's not like I wanted him to be beneath me, but he really wasn't helping himself either. Whatever. His loss is someone else's gain 🥰 Can't wait to find my partner ❤️

10:09pm: I really want to take my birth control out but I'm just gonna wait until I can call the pharmacy tomorrow because I don't know how early I can pick it up! This is killing me. I have deduced from planned parenthood (thanks!) that because I've had it in for infinity number of weeks (lol) I'm good to take it out as long as the new one goes in at 7 days or earlier if I want to try to change my start date?. The out time just cannot exceed 7 days. I want to have it out the whole 7 days this time and maybe I'll duck around with it next time trying to move it to Mondays again instead of Friday?? Idk I just need this shit to enD I remember why I skipped my period for six months straight now. I think that might be a record I haven't seen much longer than 2-3 months.

Goals: Start my period asap (safely) and get as much out as possible* I stg I'm gonna be chugging cayenne juice n vitamin C and tea and water y'all don't knoW. I want the spotting to STOP. Side note I also put bandaids on my boob acne maybe this will get under control :')

Get through this week's work and become the CritCare expert and try not to fail the last OSCE omg :') last verbal defense :')) it's all coming to an end literally.

Seriously though staying hydrated and *stress relieving* are the main goals until next weekend.

By the time the 19th rolls around (!!!) y'all aren't ready for that HYPE ASS weekend free dinner and Jesse McCartney and then the last week will be a BLUR 🤠

It's so funny because when I'm lit I know I'm not going to be thinking about him. It's not even that bad anymore. I can't imagine when the stress is 0%. I'd say I'm more fatigued than stressed atp too, like stress is about 20% and it's all to do with my period tbh, not even school. A little anxiety about APPE so maybe 25% but I'm not even really thinking about that yet either.

[readyallthecanons]

HAPPY (BR)OTP WEEK @skittlecanons !!!

Honestly, these two are #hairgoalz and they could walk all over me in four inch heels and I’d probably thank them. Sorry, it’s late Romy but have some Tally and Cat to make up for it <3 They’re great!!

[teebarnes]

✨ | My Likeable Girl

Click [100 Followers Fic] for the rest of the 100 follower fics :)

Pairing: Tom Holland x pregnant!Reader

Summary: Hanging with your husband on his day off, playing a prank on him or what you thought was a prank, sleeping in the middle of the day.

Word Count: 700ish words

Warning(s): fluff... again... sorry! yeah, yeah I don't know what it is with me and pregnancy. (I stg I didn't mean for them to happen lmao). Poor writing, I gave up. (This will eventually be edited)...

A/N: This is my first time posting for Tom Holland, I hope it is as good as I hope it will be lol. Plus, I've been kinda fangirling over Tom recently... which I usually don't do sooo. (GIF isn't mine)

⤑ Click here for my taglist to be notified when I post my future fics.

Any Likes, Comments & Reblogs are super duper appreciated :))

It was one of those days in the Holland home. Lazy, raining and not much for the pair of you to do...

You were sitting across from Tom when you had the sudden idea to like and comment on all of his Instagram photos from today to his first post. So there you were, sitting on the sofa across from your husband. Liking all his pictures and commenting on something totally unrelated to his Instagram post.

You were trying not to giggle, looking up at him now and then to see he was also scrolling through his phone. However, for a few minutes, you were too focused on your phone you had stopped checking on Tom. As a result, you hadn't notice Tom standing right in front of you.

"Are you liking all my photos?"

You jumped a bit, phone slipping from your hands and behind the couch.

"No..." you look around, "what are you tal-" he cuts you off when he wrapped his arms around you, collecting you up from your seat. You started to giggle the tighter he hugged.

"Tom… Tom… Tooooom," you laugh; he looked at you pecking your lips.

"you think it's funny, huh?" He squishes you tighter in his arms "y-y-yeah", you managed to laugh out. Tom's face was in deep satisfaction, letting you go. His arms travelled to around your waist. You let him kiss your forehead when he leaned down.

"sweet, that was no prank… it's a compliment." Tom winked at you before slapping your ass. You re-positioned your arms around his neck, looking up at him. "What can I say? My husband is the most beautiful person I know."

Carefully taking your husband's hand from behind your waist, you set his hand on your growing bump. "We think you're the most handsome man." you chuckle. Tom chuckled with you as he caressed your belly lightly with his hand. Tom gleams down at your stomach before taking a knee kissing your bump. "I think you're beautiful too, princess. I also think your mum is too," he smiled, whispering to your unborn daughter.

He stood back up, not before picking you up by the legs. You were slumped over his shoulder, laughing.

"Tom, what on earth are you doing."

"To sleep, I'm tired."

"It's only midday hon."

He shrugged with you still slumped over his shoulder "good enough for me", he smirked to himself. He laid you softly on the bed as he got up next to you. You snuggled into his side, eyes closed. Tom was tracing shapes on your arms as you held them.

"I'm gonna love you forever y/n", Tom spoke.

You giggled at his random comment, "Well, I would expect so hon." you joked with him, lulling a small laugh from his sleepy state.

"Will you love me forever?" "I will love you forever; that's a promise."

"That's why I like you so much", Tom mumbled which you mentally rolled your eyes. "yooooou are my likeaaableee gal", he sung.

"Alright, old pa, you really need sleep", you giggled, throwing the blanket over the both of you.

"I love you, Tom", you whispered.

"I love you 5000", he mumbled.

You chuckled "5000 it is", you whispered, kissing his chin. Tom had instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. Rubbing your back lightly, you fell asleep in his hold.

You dreamt of the time you met Tom for the first time, the faint memory of him accidentally liking a photo you posted four years ago. That's when it all started. Evidently slid into your DMS four years ago, getting married a year ago and now pregnant with his child a few months ago. The faint memory made you giggle in your sleep.

Tom wasn't asleep; he laid there admiring you, your laugh. He caressed your bump, which had helped you get through the last month after having a bit of trouble sleeping. He only wanted to go to bed because he could see how tired you were, not that he was but because you were. Gosh, he thought how lucky he was to have you with him. Tom loved you so much and would never let you forget that. Both of you were young, yes. But it didn't stop him from loving you and creating the life both of you wanted.

He was happy with you, just as you were.

Both of you were so very content with your little life and your bundle of joy on the way.

There was nothing more he could ask for; he had it all.

He had you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tom Holland's Taglist: @buckyfan12 @afraid-to-be-me @fairityretro

[uselessheretic]

Lmao "how dare you not make fanworks of this canon bland wholesome couple with no conflict between them and no major personal flaws, you must be ableist" or the other acussation which is that you hate bald men (??? These people are shipping Lucius and his dumb sideburns and Izzy who's also not what you'd call traditionally hot??? Why would they balk at bald????). Lucius/Pete is just boring for the popular fic tropes. Like I have yet to see one person say they dislike them in canon! But there's what's good and enjoyable to see on screen as a background pairing, and there's what's going to get its claws deep enough into the brains of people who do transformative fandom to compell them to write fic about it. These two do not provide the correct brainworms.

Izzy is sort of catnip for fanfic writers which I called as soon as the oooh daddy Thing happened. He's a mess and so are all of his possible relationships (also kinky on main without wanting to be kinky on main) but at the same time if you go the "if you touch him right he melts" or "if someone railed him he'd calm down" route it's also believable, bc he's a mess, so you dont have to commit to a 60K angst fest to fix his life or make it worse either. Fandom bicycle pathetic little meow meow.

It's also why so much Blackbonnet content is about their reunion when it's not pure fluff or a pwp, it's the closest bit of relationship drama that has to be resolved (even if you flatten them into uwu cinnamon roll non-pirates and thus ignore any other issues they'd need to work on to make their relationship not implode, you still have this fight to resolve! If you dont do that both of them have so much shit to work on to survive past the honeymoon phase and get better as people together that you do probably need like 70K of fic, maybe a series. This is why they're the central relationship in canon lol. Given the Steddyhands fic Ive read it seems to me to have hit bc if you put Izzy in that mix it's so volatile they HAVE to talk shit out they cant just ignore their problems for 48 chapters without Izzy leaving or dying of stress??)

Cant comment on how the actors being hot factors here bc im too ace to tell when none of them are like. Hollywood Hot/a model?? They're too normal people I could see on the street in real life to like. Rank.

it's just silly because this keeps popping up about the canon pairings as if izzy's going to steal their spot and it's like?? that is not a threat?? i'm trying to not be too heavy on ship hate or whatever but iont even like Lucius/Pete as a pair, but ik they're gonna stay canon and i hope they do bc lots of people enjoy them! but otherwise fandom's just a lil sandbox for me to play in and i wanna see izzy kiss ppl.

i think the "this is problematic" discourse is funny though because i think people are struggling to find a way to make it more woke when both ships are literally white m/m with not much else. you can't even argue a problematic age gap since izzy and pete's actors are only 4 years apart. (lucius confirmed for on a dilf hunt btw) so you just get stuck with "conventionally attractive" which i stg is discourse that only ever happens around white men. (tbf i think people are super out of pocket when they say a poc isn't conventionally attractive. like someone said taika was unconventionally attractive once and like dude. taika is hot in a very like traditionally handsome way??)

and then it's odd because i feel like it's like?? kinda an appropriation of the language used when talking about the racial biases people have against characters of color in fandom. it is an issue when character of color are sidelined or erased in favor of white characters. or sometimes people just? erase canon aspects of characters/pairings to make them flatter than they actually are. like people call jim/olu a fluffy low stress ship, but they're not? their meet cute is a murder and they have ups and downs with separations and communication issues. i do legit think if they were two skinny white cis men that people would be more on them with writing angst and other drama, but :/

either way that concept's being stretched too far where people keep talking about ships where izzy usually just replaces another white guy so what does it matter. even if people wanted the pair to breakup in canon and be replaced with izzy it like... doesn't matter? representation isn't being lost? who cares lol.

i think maybe people just need to work on their propaganda or smth tbh like i didn't find con oneil hot at first and im p sure i got brainwashed into being super into him by fandom. maybe people need to stop complaining about pete being bald and just start talking about wanting to slap him on his bald ass head while topping him and get the tumblr girlies in on the action

[violetpunk666]

i had a busy day today and only just got a chance to log on, to find not 1, not 2, not even 3, but 4 new empires smp episodes to watch!

imma go in the rough order in which they came out so...

Mythical Sausage Empires SMP ep.46 live blogging, HERE WE GO!

that title scares me 👀 because as I've said I'm really enjoying this series and I don't want it to end qwq

however I'm excited to see how they wrap things up, and even more excited by the idea of a potential season 2!

wow "invitation only" how prestigious Gem 👀 /sarc /lh

HOLY F-

your telling me sir carlos wasn't always a chicken?!?

Sausage you can not just drop information like that!!! asdfghjkl /nm

he's been one for thousands of years tho apparently... wait but sausage said he was a human and neither human or chicken have a life expectancy that long?? asdfghjkl

prolly some bloodsheep magic or some shit I stg /hj

i noticed this in Katherine's video and in sausage's vid its even clearer

but sir the flower you tried to take was a cornflower and that's a blue orchid asdfghjkl

that is however the flower Katherine took a guess and gave you when you asked her for "medicine" (which I still don't think worked like you wanted)... 👀

OH-

and the bloodsheep are cannibals-

well sort of- it wasn't the exact same species but it was a different kinda sheep so does that count as cannibalism?

LMAO of course sausage and fwhip immediately turn to destructive magics

though i headcanon gem specializes in fire magic (cause she has flame on her staff thing and in my head she's shooting fireballs with it) and fwhip asked about fire magic...

✨Roseblings~✨

yes im connecting something out of nothing

no i do not care /lh

LMAO "necromancy?" idk why that specifically got me XD

er- no i think i have an idea but its not in words-

LMAO

Gem: its very important that you two learn to focus on your studies

My brain: haha e!fWhip has ADHD headcanon go brrrrrrr~

(that headcanon i think might extend to gem and other characters but fwhip is the only one I've firmly decided on really)

i get the vibe that Gem didn't wanna have to deal with her brother and sausage's shenanigans whist she's trying to teach so she just dumped them onto katherine like "GOOD LUCK!" asdfghjkl

she only invited fwhip cause she was legally obligated to as his sister asdfghjkl (headcanon)

"not yet"

👀 wait what- Katherine? asdfghjkl

what do you mean "no explosions yet"?!? 🤣

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

LMAO KATHERINE

WHY ARE YOU JUMPING STRAIGHT TO THE DESTRUCTIVE STUFF EVEN THOUGH YOUR TEACHING THESE TWO XD

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I like these flowers, these flowers are fun"

i love him asdfghjkl /p

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

LMAO SAUSGE'S SENSE OF SELF PRESERVATION IS -100 XD

fwhip being the pyromaniac that we know and love and sausage repeatedly trying to jump into it

"actually, if you want to, you could burn sausage a little bit to hurt him"

more unhinged murderous katherine crumbs~ /hj

asdfghjkl- ok, but no, I get where she was going with this, but its just the way she said it- XD

─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

OOP- 👀

i wasnt expecting for sausage to actually be able to fit that whole flower in his mouth and eat it

and i wasnt expecting katherine to be so chill about it when he said he was going to-

oh-

thats fitting for sausage's new self proclamed mythland flower-

so basically like rolling on the wild magic table then? I don't know much about that other then its existence and playing with someone who's character only rolled magic on said table one campaign, but from what i know it kinda sounds like that lol

oh-

sausage summoned a skull of the ẅ̵̧̦͇̖̻͑̊͊͂ͅa̵͔̟̿̃̔͊̚t̴̖̓c̴͈̻͇̗̤̅͛͜ḩ̶̛͕̫̜̝̜͙̑̈͆̽̆͂͋͜ę̶͕̲̳̖̬̞̂̎r̷͍͇̦̟̟͈̰̅ strange being that crashed onto the server, and then disappeared again, a few days ago~

oop- uhh... awkward-

your a murderer! but we didn't expect any less

asdfghjkl SAUSAGE!

it was just an accident tho qwq

GATE'S OPEN!

DARK SAUSAGE IS IN MYTHLAND!

oh-?

that's a different Bubbles(the dog)

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Richrath Project 3:13

if anyone at all is reading this i know you're thinking "who tf is that" and I didn't even know until about a month ago myself so-

they're an REO Speedwagon/Gary Richrath tribute band that I heard was coming nearby via local radio contest giving away tickets. I REALLY wanted to go bc you know I'm an REO hoe, so I entered the contest (even tho I would've paid) and decided to contact the band about photography permission bc why not. Welp their manager lady or whoever got back to me and offered to put me on the guest list so I can get into the show for free and photograph them. Saved me $25 (which i promptly spent on a tshirt) but yeah! I've never had a band do that for me!

the 'venue' it was at (if you could even call it that) was a local rod and gun club. yeah. it was outdoors and they played under a lil pavilion while everyone brought their own folding chairs it was a very hick area but that made it unique and intimate I guess?

the whole place still gave off bad vibes tho toinrtgwnwgrf shady ass republican vibes

the opening act was this local guy and his wife...

i mean they were very good but they opened with singing God Bless America and me and my sister wanted to laugh so fucking bad and it just confirmed all the Bad Vibes we were sensing bc they did it again with another American(TM) song

THIS COUPLE'S SETLIST GAVE US WHIPLASH SO BAD it went from like god bless america to country to 2015 pop to janis joplin back to country to the cranberries to the who to sad song about vietnam and what the FUCK

anyway during this couple's act, a praying mantis flew over me and my sister and landed RIGHT in front of the husband onstage and we were like 8^D

shortly after that ANOTHER mantis almost landed on me and i was like NO NONONONONONO and kicked it away

my sister looked under our picnic table for the mantis and found a toad instead

this toad then hopped onto the lawn in front of the 'stage' like it came to watch the show

when Richrath finally came out it was sweet relief

they opened with Don't Let Him Go and the singer from afar looks exactly like Vince Neil but sounds just like Kevin it was very cursed

i kept movin around and was scared of blocking people's view but then one of the owners (?) of the venue came out right in the fucking middle to take pics with her phone and i was like aiight

the band kept posing for me i stg i was so nervous i felt like THEY were watching ME

when they played Roll With the Changes people finally came out and started dancing

the people who started the dance were a group of people around my age????? they were obviously wasted bc nobody my age around here likes REO :'3

couples were slow dancing to Can't Fight This Feeling and ;-; made me feel something

every time they went into a different song I haven't heard live I turned to my sister (who isn't an REO fan) and went :OOO

should probably mention this was the first concert ever played at this place (again this ISN'T A VENUE LMAO it's just like picnic grounds)

they introduced Flying Turkey Trot and then they had to stop in order to do a raffle for the venue erofnwerofwerging it was so fucking funny to me the way the singer was just like *picks ticket* ..."number 327538"

introducing Ridin the Storm out like "there's a storm comin" and me passing it off as a joke but apparently there WAS a storm comin

everyone dancin to Ridin the Storm Out and their encore of Born to Be Wild

me talking to each of the band members after the show and being awkward and not knowing what to say and sounding too fake and professional imo

i got a pic with the singer and he BARELY touched my ass but i think it was an accident

[moonlit-jeno]

Other than you, I don't feel like others pay as much attention to WAYV. Anyway, what do you think their individual kinks are? Are some of them just straight up into vanilla sex? What would they be like during aftercare? Would they try to be sweet and romantic or would they not care? Just stuff like that that I'm curious about you views on. Thanks. Also about that person plagiarizing, they suck. Don't get too upset over it, you're an amazing writer!

wayv def doesn’t have a lot of content in this site (unfortunately, lmao not that i’m helping tho i have barely any content) but they def deserve more love!! also this got so long oops

kun: strict dom, sex is pretty long and drawn out, likes to use a lot of toys and likes it if you call him sir. likes you rly submissive, loses his mind if you let him tie you up or blind fold you, sex is slow but also kinda sweet, a++ aftercare, pulls out the lotion and brings you food and makes sure you pee/ clean up.

ten: definitely a lot more playful, i can see him going more for quickies, though he likes longer more drawn out sessions too. tends to be super teasing and sex w him is always fun, though he does have a sweeter side for sure. is p much open to trying anything, rly rly likes having you ride him, but also just likes any position that has you looking at him. the type of guy to print out a list of kinks/ positions and grab his pen to be like “let’s try All of these”. aftercares not the best but it’s also not the worst, he’ll help you clean up a bit and cuddle. uhhhh dont come at me but he hates giving oral

winwin: domdomdom, likes to have a bit of a power fight, the type of sex that has the two of you rolling all over the mattress to try to establish you doninace over the other, but it always ends w him in charge. isn’t into anything super crazy but i can see him occasionally going in to choke you/ spank you. not a huge fan of foreplay but he also finds it super fun to get you worked up for just kissing and innocent touching. also has a super super soft side so sex is probs gonna be more vanilla and giggly and the aftercare will be. so. soft. and giggly. smiles and kisses you through the whole thing

lucas: giant puppy just wants to please. pretty much down for whatever as long as it feels good for both of you. the messiedt man alive when it comes to anything, esp kissing/ oral. if you let him come in you then he’ll die instantly. would let you peg him. doesn’t rly care much about who’s in charge, just kinda goes w the flow, but at the same time he’ll go w what you want. doesnt put too much thought into kinks but also isn’t rly weirded out by many and will try whatever, except he absolutely is not going to purposefully inflict pain (some mindless ass slapping but that’s to be expected). maybe uses some toys that he thinks will be fun, or if he’s kinda worked up he’s gonna bend you over the nearest piece of furniture and fuck your brains out. looks at you w stars in his eyes when you do anything, rly loves when you ride him. sweet giggly aftercare!!!! clingy cuddly nap time!!!! will carry you to the bath and lay there wrapped around each other

xiaojun: switch alert! is either the most masochistic pain slut to ever sub or the softest, sweetest dom, no in between. likes it when you degrade him and likes a bit of pain, just wants to be good for you, tries like almost anything, loves being edged. but when he doms he def does not try to hurt you at all, he can’t bring himself to do anything mean so it’s super passionate and vanilla. clingy cuddly boy after

hendery: hhhhh i can’t decide on anything for him but currently i see him similar to lucas, except way less frantic and more controlled than him. basically goes w the flow, loses his mind when you ride him, could kiss for hours. gets rly tired after sex so kinda half assedly cleans you up

yangyang: teasing and talks a lot during sex. watches rly uh, interesting porn but only brings himself to try a few of the things w you. loves it when you do all the work but also is rly good at eating you out. i stg i can’t emphasize how much he talks. rly has a thing for thighs. aftercare is lit him wiping you down w a napkin pulled out of an empty pizza box

[voxblade]

Not to be an Eridan apologist on main, buuuuuut... ya, he was a sympathetic character in my eyes. I know he wasn't good, and that a lot of people have dealt with shitty clingy guys which probably sour the character to them from the word go, but I wish more people realized Fef was just as manipulative back to him and that he had legitmate issues and misconceptions about relationships besides "weh weh fuck me!"...? (This isn't to attack Fef at all, she had her reasons to make him feed ol' Glubs and Eridan didn't make her happy. I'm more upset that people view this falling out as one character being definitively in the wrong). Also I wish my trash fish got a redemption arc.

Gamzee's "twist" of turning evil was some of the most atrocious writing I've ever seen. In my life. To the point I am almost unconvinced pre-snapped Gamzee and the dude in later acts are the same character at all.

I never was a huge fan of Meowrails. They weren't bad, but I remember Equius being too controlling in my eyes??? It's been a while though, I must admit.

Vriska in Act 6 is possibly my least favourite character in anything ever and her speech about "8eing a hero" is some of the most hypocritical bullshit I've ever read in my life it made my eyes roll into the back of my head urghvyofududtutregge Terezi deserves better.

I miss bisexual Dave and am on the fence about nonbinary/trans Roxy.

On a larger note, it wasn't so much that the Epilogue was "too dark" or the jerkifications of my favs that make me dislike it on principle. Homestuck had quite a few dark moments contending with the Epilogue, along with characters doing shitty, stupid things. I still can't really enjoy these takes on the cast, but it's more to do with the meta-narrative angle. It just feels condescending, needlessly cynical, and... not from a place of love. Without it, the story is dumb and makes no sense. With it, the story is frustrating and exhausting. DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT CANDY IS SWEET BUT PROVIDES NO SUSTENANCE? DID YOU KNOW THAT MEAT IS HEAVY. DO YOU GET IT. DO YOU. DO YOU GET WHY YOUR ONE OF TWO BINARY CHOICES IS WRONG YET. DO YOU GET IT. It feels like Bojack co-write this or some shit I stg plus like... ...it's stupid lmao

I never actually liked the writing style in Homestuck and after all these years typing quirks are still cancer on my eyeballs. Also the way characters get made fun of after dying never sat well with me -- Tavros especially.

The Passive/Active thing in Sburb is needlessly binary and adds no intrigue for me.

Jane/Roxy > Dirk/Jake

Tavros didn't deserve what he got, but he's really not a cinnamon roll at all. In fact he's kind of an asshole???

Porrim is best dancestor. Possibly best girl.

Aranea wasn't that bad.

Thaaaaat's all I can think of for now... hopefully I won't get crucified.

what’re y'alls unpopular homestuck opinions? tell me all about them, and I’ll rate them!