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deathbyautopilot · 2 years ago

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We Control the Narrative - On Website Eugenics, Homestuck, and Your Problematic Favs

I entered the digital realm at about 10 years old, just barely witnessing the shift from the web to apps. I played Runescape on a dusty old desktop fitted with Windows XP and would browse through the open forums for games I would never play. But as much as I try to remember the endless dotcom online world and its endless whimsy, works like Kate Wagner’s 404 Page Not Found expose just how far gone that era truly is. For two decades now, the internet has been gradually appropriated by a powerful few, corralling an expansive and free userbase into an easily controlled market.

The shift from the open web to centralized apps has gradually stripped the individual user of the “thrill of the hunt” that characterized the Web 2.0 era. Kate Wagner reflected on the fleeting memories of the open internet, and that nostalgic experience of stumbling upon a single customized site that silently broke down the boundaries of the digital realm. Any website on any page of your search results could yield a treasure trove of groundbreaking new knowledge, media, and community. Sometimes this was finding a new online game, like how it felt to log in to Club Penguin for the first time. But more often than that, it was entire networks of individuals and media that would defy all expectations for what art, and the internet, can be.

This quote pulled from internet historian Olia Lialina summarizes the landscape best:

“It was a web of sudden connections and personal links. Pages were built on the edge of tomorrow, full of hope for a faster connection and a more powerful computer.”

But in a post-iPhone world, the shift towards streamlined and prescribed apps neglected the web into obsolescence. Maximalism gave way to minimalism, UIs gradually deteriorated, urging you to download their new app or subtly manipulating the content that browsers would expose users to. As a 90s kid, Wagner watched this happen in the fall of MySpace, where personal archives were purged simply because it was not profitable to keep them around. For me, it was the fall of Adobe Flash, and the creative media that it took away.

Adobe Flash and I go way back, spanning from Elementary school lunches in the computer lap playing Cool Math Games with all my classmates to late-night exploration on the family laptop. One of my most memorable internet experiences came in the months after I discovered Homestuck, a multi-media webcomic that dominated niche digital communities since its debut in 2009.

Having started only 2 years after the iPhone came out, Homestuck is a legend of early Web 2.0, with a rich and expansive digital narrative that the Atlantic dubbed “a story that could only be told online”. By blending IM chatlogs as dialogue, GIFs as panels, flash media, fully animated videos with complete soundtracks, and a one-of-a-kind narrative, this interactive site would draw in millions of users with each update and bridge the divide between forums, personal blogs, and social networks like Twitter and Tumblr.

I will always remember the day that Act 6 of the series came to a climax with the flash video [S] Collide (April 6th 2016, the best day of my 13 year-old, internet-dwelling life), and of course, July of the next year when it was announced that Adobe Flash would die by the end of 2020.

When Flash went down all those years later — while Homestuck was still being updated on this same site — the new owner of the series’ publishing and printing rights Viz Media made little effort to preserve the 8000+ page time capsule. This prompted fans of the series to come together to compile the Unofficial Homestuck Collection, an optimized, offline version of the original site, even offering language filters to correct its less tasteful writing choices. This was an invaluable act, but it also represents a process of corporate neglect, and the ongoing cleansing of any media online that is deemed unworthy of preservation. Wagner compared this to a series of minor Libraries of Alexandria being burned to the ground, and rich personal narratives being buried beneath a controlled legacy of human history.

“The artifacts of internet life are personal—that is, not professionally or historically notable—and therefore worthless.”

Homestuck fans are split between those who recognize it as a postmodern masterpiece comparable to Ulysses, and those who would be happy to see it left in the rubble of the old web. I understand the desire to leave the unfavourable behind us, but accepting the latter narrative gives in to what Wagner called “Website Eugenics”; A process of devaluing the maximalist, often personalized and gaudy, or in some way flawed in favour of the minimalist, rigid professional class standards being set for the contemporary web. In the case of “dated” media, either cringey personal blogs from middle school or crass lowbrow humour, they will be posited as a damper on material history, when in fact it is deeply human.

The more that we accept a narrative of some digital remnants being of value, and others being a poor reflection of our popular culture, the more that we allow an oppressive power dynamic to play out. Everything, even your cringey middle school Myspace or Tumblr blog, or a webcomic that was drawn in MS paint, deserves to be preserved. If the select few get to control the narrative of the majority, we slowly lose these beautiful connections between ourselves, our media, and our ongoing futures. Internet historians, archivists, and cultural commentators like Kate Wagner are doing what they know combats this agenda; revel in the legacy of the early web, retain all that you can, and do it authentically.

#death by autopilot #kate wagner #404 page not found #homestuck #philosophy #lost media

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angrykpoprants · 1 year ago

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Its been a while

TW: Child abuse, Dr*gs

It's been a long time. I believe I started this blog when I was 16 years old lol... I turned 24 a few months ago!

So why haven't I been posting? Mental heath. My word of advice is if you are being abuse, actively abused, speak out.

I have been in therapy and well, I can say that I was finally able to let someone know what I experienced.

My grew up with my father being a herion, meth and cocaine addict. Fortunately he has been clean and sober for 7 years. Some issues with my brother, and the worst of all a disturbingly narcissistic gaslighting physically and mentally abusive sister. I am the baby of the family. My sister is more than a decade older than me.

Without going into too much detail, I git diagnosed with ASD as an adult... my sister used to call me "a dumbass ret*rd".

Age 6, I was setting up Christmas cookies for Santa, she didn't like how I arrange it, tried to place them her way... I told her that I didn't like it that way, I thought my was was creative. She stormed off into her room while calling me retarded, then on Christmas Day at the restaurant I tried to sit next to her to apologize, she pushed me out of the booth so that I would fall on the ground.

At the age of 7 she forced to drive a motorboat (no regard for my boundary, despite me saying "no im scared") I was crying the whole time while driving, while her fiancé (now husband) had the boat go max speed, while situationally being told if I make one mistake everyone (my family) on the boat will die. Guess what? I dont have my drivers license. Im too scared to drive.

I had helped her with thanksgiving decor, I had accidentally knocked over a glass candle stick; it broke... her response as a grown married woman with a kid? She pushed me out of her house in the rain, as I tried to grab my shoes she said No and to walk home bare foot. Then proceeds to kick me square in the center of my chest ... I was 13, she was in her mid 20's

She got mad at me because I didn't want to be friends with her sister-in-law's rude cousin during our Vegas trip so after I babysat her kids for 3 hours, she comes back to the hotel room belligerently drunk, yanks my MacBook from my lap, holds it open... only to smash it on the next bed, the hinges broke.

there is more in between, but the last incident I had with her was she blatantly lied to me in the car coming home from Koreatown, I had a panic attack about her lie... the situation was starting to escalate, I asked her to not speak to me for about 5 minutes so I can ground myself. but she can speak to anyone else in the car. Apparently she didn't like that and that I dont have panic attacks.

Did I confront her before? Oh yeah, several times... what happened? "Im sorry but...", "that never happened" "Your exaggerating" "It didn't happen like that" and worst of all "im sorry you feel that way"

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ask-chef-teruteru · 2 years ago

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Just wanting to say im really happy to see this blog come back to life. It’s one of the only blogs that feel genuine to Teru’s character, and the only other blog I followed that was like this got deactivated a long time ago. I respect their wishes of course, I just would be lying if I said it didn’t still make me sad to think about.

I’m not apart of the fandom anymore myself, but I do like to check in now and then. :] so hello to you again, both Teru and admin! Hope you’re both doing okay.

[ I really appreciate hearing that 🥹 I know that I haven’t been around like I was back in my heyday, and sadly I feel as though I’ll never have the same kind of time and energy that I used to, but it still means a lot to know that something I did was enjoyed enough to be missed. Which, in retrospect sounds a little depressing or self depreciating to say, but I think I’ve mentioned at some point a while back that I never actually knew if anything would come of running this blog. Teruteru’s always been my favorite, but he’s of course not a fan favorite, and I started at a time where V3 was most talks about due to still being fairly new. There were probably a good 100+ blogs that I knew of, and I’d never actually run a blog before. I’d wanted to ever since I was probably 13, but the norm at that point was to answer each individual ask with a new piece of art, and my art wasn’t very good, and I had no access to a means of making digital art either, which as also the norm. DR having its own sprites really opened the door for me to even feel like I could try, and it meant a lot to actually get asks and interaction.

In those early days, I had fully tried to prepare myself for the possibility of it being a resounding failure, never garnering any interest whatsoever, and having to sweep it under the rug and pretend like it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings. Instead, however, I spoke with a lot of highly talented, kind individuals, and was allowed to thrive in a space I’d always wanted to be in. Being able to have this source of fun to turn to really got me through some rough points, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

The blogs that inspired me to start have long since gone, and several that I enjoyed down the line are gone too. Truth be told, I have no idea anymore as to how many are actually left, or if new ones still are created with any kind of regularity anymore, but I hope there are. The landscape isn’t as active and easy as it used to be, but I hope there are still people taking a chance on it and finding joy.

This wasn’t really meant to devolve into me getting nostalgic, so I hope you don’t mind. I believe I got a notification within the last few months of it being this blog’s fifth anniversary, so it’s hard not to reflect a little. My life is in a significantly different state than it was back then, in some ways for the better and in others for the significantly worse, so it just feels different coming back to it. I’d never delete it outright, especially not without saying anything, but there have been plenty of times when I’ve had myself convinced that I can’t come back to it because it’d been too long, maybe no one would care anymore, maybe I should’ve moved on by now, but then there’s always kind people like you who remind me that time has made me missed rather than forgotten, and that I don’t have to feel bad for not outgrowing an interest of mine.

I truly do appreciate you taking the time to send the kind words, so thank you very much! 🥰]

#asks #mod pantsu #[I may have outgrown that name though lmao #[I feel like I talk like I’m 80 and on my deathbed]#[let grampy tell you all about their DR ask blog]#[back when the spicy pictures used to be on the tumblr]#[me talking also makes me reconsider coming back because I listen to myself and go oof but]#[it’s already typed up and who am I to sacrifice authenticity to stop from being cringe]#[that’s part of the job title]

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warrior-u-preservation · 2 years ago

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Interview with The Path Podcast (Full written responses)

(Note: The interview itself will be different, since mod myne represented both mods on the podcast. However, this includes our full feelings on the questions that were provided to us.)

Who are you and how did you end up walking the path of a "warrior u" writer/comic creator?

Myne: I go by worldismyne for fandom related pursuits.

I'd like to clarify that Aisha Thani is the creator of Warrior U. Just like multiple people have written for Stan Lee's creations, I'm just a writer who's received permission from the creator to distribute and monetize works within her universe.

I've been in the WU fandom since 2014; at that time Aisha made the comic, ran an in character ask blog, a concept art blog and the main blog. I can only imagine how much work that was. A hard drive crash killed about 6 or so pages of Ambrosia, the last story arch she was working on; three weeks worth of updates up and gone. I watched writer’s block take hold and kill my favorite series in real time. Having to go back and redo work she’d already done had given her time to look at it and go ‘I can’t post this, this is awful’, but by then all of us were waiting for the next update for over a month, she couldn’t go back and rewrite the entire arch. It didn’t help that this was the origin story for a fan favorite character, so there was all this pressure to make it perfect. Instead, after about six artists made fan comics to feed the hungry fandom… she announced the end. The website, the blogs, one by one they all ran into issues and got shut down. Hundreds of pieces of art and story concepts just… lost. Once the comics were rereleased on gumroad, that was it, the fandom slowly died. Before this project, the last time the creator posted new content was in 2017. Then in the middle of the pandemic, out of nowhere I get 70+ notifications from Coffee reblogging the pieces of art I had saved from the old blog, including drafts from the unfinished issues.

Coffee: well, i go by coffee online, im 20 years old and when im not working on my various personal projects i work part-time. i was introduced to warrior u WAYY back in the day (i think i was like 9-ish?) by my brother who found out about it through some unknown and mysterious ways. back then i had very limited internet access (meaning i could only visit sites that could be loaded by the internet app on my nintendo dsi), so i pieced together a bit of a plot from what i could find on google images. i wasnt able to fully read the comic until i was 13 (i had to BEG my mom to pay for the pdfs lol), but it had kinda always existed in the back of my mind ever since i was introduced to it. i decided a little over a year ago to start out the tumblr blog because i had recently read through the comic again and was really sad about just how hard it is (or i guess WAS now) to find a lot of things related to the comic. as the name of the blog suggests, its original purpose was to preserve/archive warrior u stuff so it could be more accessable to your average internet user who might not wanna go digging through internet archives. it was originally for official content EXCLUSIVELY, but myne talked me into also including fan-made content (and im glad he did, its WAY harder to find some fan content than i remember it being just a few years ago). its kinda hard to tell how good of a job it does at BEING that archive, but i like to think it could be useful to someone out there.

i had toyed with the idea of finishing the last official story arc- ambrosia- near the beginning of the blogs lifespan, but i knew that it was too big of a project for me to do myself. i didnt wanna dissapoint people by leaving the ALREADY unfinished arc STILL unfinished. i had written in the "about" section of the blog that the dream was a full fandom revival, but i didnt actually expect that to happen. when myne joined the blog we eventually started playing with the idea of finishing ambro. i forget how exactly we officially decided we would do it, but we did! at some point near the beginning of ambro, we had also decided we were gonna write our own fan-arcs and post those too, and the rest is history!

What was it about warrior u that made you say "this is it. i need to make more content of this."

Coffee: honestly? i think it was just how much i enjoy introducing people to the comic. i already make tons of fan content on my own time, so that wasnt really the crazy part. i had shown a couple of my mutuals the comic after i re-read it, and the feeling of seeing other people actually talk about and even make ART of warrior u was absolutely surreal. i guess thats what happens when you just silently admire a dead fandom for years LMAO! another big part of it was HOW the comic ended. after taking a hiatus, the creator ended the comic mid-arc because creating it just wasnt enjoyable anymore, and thats obviously completely fair. however, the arc it ENDED on was elaborating on the backstory of one of (if not THE) most popular characters at the time (and my personal favorite), so i had always wished that the issue could have been finished. its kinda hard to put into words, but finishing ambrosia was like a love letter to the comic and its creator to me. as flawed as the plot of that arc may be (and as unsatisfied with it as the creator was, at least back then) i still felt like it deserved to be finished. it was like fixing an old toy from your childhood, i felt like we were taking care of the comic in a way, giving it the love it deserves. maybe thats just my tendency to personify objects and get overly attached to them coming through, but hey thats how it is sometimes LMAO

Myne: When the comic was still on hiatus after the harddrive crash, some people had asked Aisha if she wanted to hand the series over to other artists to help her. She said she wouldn’t even know where to begin that process or if she’d wanted to do it. I would have offered then, but my skills as an artist and a writer weren’t nearly as strong. I held onto the drafts thinking, one day I’d do it.

Myne: After Coffee and I started talking I realized, I can do it now. I know what kind of style of pens were used, and I whipped up a page, just the line art and sent to Coffee as a thank you. I thought, it isn’t much, and it’ll take me forever to color everything, but if there’s one person willing to read it, I’ll try. When I explained how difficult it’d be for me to color, he offered to do it for me. Suddenly a page that would take a month for just me to do on my own took 3 days.

Myne: Something, that seemed like a monumental task became a realistic goal. We were able to find, restore, and edit 45 pages within a few months. I’m still amazed we were able to do weekly updates without missing a day. Coffee asked if I’d ever be willing to write fan issues while we were working, not realizing I was the author of the longest fics in the series. Of course I said yes. Seeing Warrior U get finished, even through fan creation, was something I’d wanted to see for years.

You're from Az right, how is the webcomic weeb culture over there as opposed to california?

Myne: Idk about much about Cali, I've noticed the cons are more... professional? Where as Arizona cons have more of a fanclub vibe. Most panels are hosted by your fellow nerds rather than sony or production companies. I will say, that it's become more common and widespread in the last ten years, with multiple anime specific events year round. Back when I was a kid, I'd get made fun of for drawing 'japanese' people all the time.... it was pokemon fanart... Where as nowadays, I feel the average kid recognizes most big name titles thanks to hulu and such.

What are your favorite anime/manga/webcomics and do any inspire your work?

Coffee: not really an anime, manga, or webcomic, but ive always been super inspired by the "scott pilgrim" series. when i was in middle school i was SUPER into it, reading all the behind the scenes stuff i could find. it even made me look into "comic illustrator" as a career option, but i also did the same thing with "game designer" and "animator" so yknow. as for webcomics, the only one i ever really got into was homestuck. side note- the overlap of oldschool homestuck fans and warrior u fans is FASCINATING to me. my current theory is that all these tumblr kids were looking for other webcomics to read while homestuck was on one of its MANY hiatuses(?) and so a bunch of them flocked to warrior u! theres tons of homestuck crossover content and references in fan art on our blog (some of the art styles also look homestuck-ajacent) so its at least clear that a lot of fans back then were also really into homestuck. ANYWAYS other than that i havent really read many other webcomics tbh? weird considering i MAKE one now but what can i say, im more of a Gamer than anything lol. as for anime, my favorite is easily keroro gunso (or sgt. frog if youre using the dub name)! its another thing i discovered when i was young (this time i was like 8) and have just never gotten over. theres a lot of Questionable stuff in it (prime example is an adult alien being madly in love with a 14 year old girl) but if i dont look at canon its not real so i love it anyways <3.i honestly dont know how many people really know about it since the western fanbase is so small, but its like HUGE in japan (or at least it was at one point, the titular keroro has a cameo in lucky star as a keychian) and the manga is still running to this day iirc. it was created by mine yoshizaki and the basic premise is that a platoon of frog-like aliens come to earth to take it over but they really suck at it. they begin living with humans and from there its kind of a mix between a slice-of-life and monster-of-the-week anime. i cant really say anything in depth about the manga because ive only read the first 5 issues of it, which are basically the same as the anime (fake fan smh), but ive heard that it gets more mature and serious than the anime does (which i guess is bound to happen when it goes on for so long). also the manga has some ecchi moments and blood used for slapstick purposes so if anyone wants to check it out just keep that in mind lol.

Myne: Obviously Warrior U. I'm a bit of a visual novel fiend, so Danganronpa is a series I've found a lot of inspiration from over the years. More recently Though for the comic, I draw mostly from late 80s / early 90s high fantasy. Things like Labyrinth and Robinhood: Men in Tights. Honestly anytime I get stuck trying to come up with a gag, I look to Mel Brooks.

So in continuing someone else's work, do you feel a sense of pressure to be just as good as the original?

Coffee: i definitely felt that way when it came to ambrosia, but i feel a lot less pressure when it comes to our upcoming issues. i wrote and made thumbnails for a few small scenes in ambro and i was SO SCARED of those scenes being noticably worse than the rest of the issue. i know the original creator has seen our version of ambro and those scenes by extention, but i dont know her exact thoughts on them. im satisfied with them but theres probably always gonna be that kinda star-struck stage feeling at the thought of the creator reading the scenes i wrote. its like getting stage fright. for our upcoming issues i dont feel as much pressure because theyre fully fan-written. our comics arent official in any sense of the word and theyre basically just fanfiction with extra steps, so its not nearly as stressful as trying to tie together an "official" story. there definitely WOULD be that pressure if we were ever given the rights to warrior u or something (which i dont want to happen) because then it WOULD be official yknow? also if the creator decides to keep up with what we post ill feel a bit more pressure, but i get the feeling that she wants to distance herself from warrior u a bit so im not sure how likely that would be.

Myne: I do. Partially because, the fan content we’re making is completely free while the original series is purchasable on gumroad. So there’s a chance that some people may start with what we’re working on, then go backwards to the original. I'm hyper aware of the tonal shift that's about to happen, no matter how much I try, I can't perfectly emulate someone else's writing style. The best I can do is capture the spirit of it. I just keep repeating "it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be". It's a little harder taking that advice now that it's my scripts we're turning into issues. There is some freedom in knowing the series was never meant to be perfect though.

What drove you to writing the longest fanfiction for the series and how did it feel to be recognized and promoted by the original creator?

Myne: When I was younger, I would write fanfic instead of paying attention in class, and I really wanted a full story about the leads getting together. Knowing that the creator was reading every fanfic at the time added more fuel to the fire. I had a guaranteed audience, the audience. I was so grateful that she recommended it to other fans. That fic was 25k, I've written about 100 K in the last year to help maintain interest in addition to new pages to the comic. To that I blame hyperfixation and hiatus brain. You have to be the biggest fan of the thing you're making.

So i see the that most of your work including the webcomic Warrior U is on tumblr why did u choose to promote om tumblr as opposed to other webcomic outlets like webtoons, mangadex etc?

Coffee: the answer to this one is actually pretty simple; i already had a warrior u blog and tumblr is the social media/blogging site that im most familiar with! we have recently started using comicfury and tapas, but that was entirely mynes idea. im personally pretty content with just hanging out in my little corner of the internet so any attempts to expand or get the word out is mostly (if not entirely) mynes doing LOL!

Myne: It's interesting you bring up those two actually. Webtoons recently come under fire for being pretty crummy to it's indie comics, particularly if you write in any genre other than romance. Mangadex is a pirating website, so most of the comics there are fan translations rather than uploads from the creators : they had a pretty bad data breach a few years back too. At first we only had permission from the creator to upload on tumblr. Once we got permission to move forward with the fanmade run, we branched out to tapas and comicfury. They seemed like the best options for the genre and style we write in. Even still, we see about double the growth in readership on tumblr as opposed to the other outlets, and I think that's mostly because the blog updates daily, even though we only publish one page a week.

Do you have any plans on creating your own webcomic/manga?

Coffee: yes and no. i sometimes draw small fan comics and id like to make more polished and "finished" ones in the future, but nothing with any kind of overarching plot, at least not in the near future. i have a very hard time making original content for whatever reason. i DO have one (1) personal project that is completely original, but i plan on making a game with that. then again i have NO idea what im doing with that project anymore so who knows, maybe one day i WILL decide to turn it into a comic! only time will tell…

Myne: I have a visual novel I'm working on. It's about teen super villains that have to go to reform school. Think teen titans meets gifted kid burnout. The game's been in development hell since our first alpha build and writing about apocalyptic civil unrest wasn't as fun as it was pre 2020. We're about 200k into the draft for the full game and we're having to switch engines, which means cutting a bunch of features, but we're slowly getting there. If that fails, I'll try adapting the story into a comic.

To those people who will see this and decide to strut down the path of comic creation what is some advice you can give them?

Coffee: i think the most HELPFUL advice i could give would be this: you dont have to do everything by yourself. i personally have taken tons of inspiration from indie artists/game designers/etc. some prime examples of this are daisuke amaya aka pixel (who created cave story) and toby fox (who created undertale and deltarune), who both made incredible pieces of art that were defining to me as a person when i discovered them either entirely alone or almost entirely alone. you hear stories all the time of these great pieces of art being made by one or two people, and ive always wanted to be like that. as a result ive alwasy had a hard time reaching out for help when it comes to my art, feeling like if i cant do it all alone that itll never be as good as it could be. as a result though, all this mindset does is keep things from actually getting done and needlessly stress you out. NONE of the warrior u comics would exist if i had never gotten help from myne, and the blog would have probably gone inactive a LONG time ago too. i think thats the biggest lesson ive learned from this whole thing personally. theres absolutely no shame in working with a team of people if thats what needs to happen to see a project be realized.

Myne: One, try not to put more than 8 panels on a page, that's helped me a bunch with page layout. And two, find someone you can show your work to. That can be a friend, a mutual online, a family member; as long as you have that one person asking "what happens next" you can keep writing. The stories/comics I have that are the longest are because of that.

What inspires your art and what would u say you consider your style to be?

Myne: Invader Zim, Danganronpa, and Pacthesis have heavily influenced my art style. (pacthesis made a series of free dating sims on deviant art). I've always considered my art style to be pretty shoujo manga, but lately some of my pieces have been labeled too western for weeb spaces.

What advise can you give the next person who wants to draw art and share it with the world?

Coffee: i give the same advice to everyone i meet that says theyre thinking of making art in any form, and i mean it from the bottom of my heart: DO IT! im so in love with art of all kinds and the process of creating it, and i think that getting into any creative hobby is nothing but a good thing and i deeply believe that everyone should do it. whether you wanna draw, write, make music, develop games, sculpt, knit, etc, do it! quality doesnt matter at all, you can make the most technically awful thing in the world but as long as you enjoyed the process of creating it then it still has value. dont be nervous about your art being good enough. if you dont want to share it then you arent obligated to! i dont share like 90% of the stuff that i make but i still create art almost every single day! recently my qpp (queerplatonic partner) has gotten into drawing and im SO happy for them. they primarily use mspaint and a mouse to draw and their art is SO adorable and i love it so much, and im not just saying that because i love them. it doesnt matter what skill level you start at or what tools you have, you can always start making art. and dont compare the art that you make to others art, which i know from experience is a VERY easy trap to fall into. i dont have as much to say about that point because im not as passionate about it but uhhh yeah :3

Myne: Social media algorithms are not going to make you happy; no matter how well you play the game and low engagement does not mean you're a bad artist. If you keep posting and talking to other artists, you'll find your audience.

So at wonder con where we met ylu were cosplaying power from chainsaw man with a group of girls who were cosplaying other chainsaw characters. Do you girls normally group up and cosplay and if so how did you get into it?

Myne: I was born into cosplay. My parents were gamers and cosplayers, and I started picking my own characters to cosplay when I was 14. I started getting more into it in college when I could find other people to cosplay with, it wasn't until this year I started aiming for photoshoots. I tend to be in at least one large group cosplay a con, and bring a different costume every day.

What was your favorite cosplay you've done?

Myne: It's a toss up between Persona 5 Joker and Alluring Secret Rin. Those were the ones I put the most work in that still hold up. Though I'm currently working on Eris from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and that may overtake them.

Have you ever thought to cosplay someone from Warrior U?

Myne: I do actually! I've cosplayed as the main character Finn a few times. I really like taking simplified designs from comics/cartoons and turning them into heavily detailed looks. '

Where do you see warrior u being in 5 years from now?

Coffee: man, honestly if were STILL working on this project 5 years from now that would be CRAZY. this is already the longest ive worked on a single project before, along with being the most ive ever gotten DONE for a project, so thinking about what it could be like in 5 years is like. WOW. by that point we would have archived most (if not ALL) of the older stuff we could find, so our blog would probably just be new pages and fan interaction if were still going! the dream is still for a full fandom revival, and weve already got a small active fanbase (of like 5 people but still) so who knows, maybe that dream will be a reality?

Myne: We have at least 3 years worth of story drafted and lined up, and even more outlined. So ideally still updating. By then, we'll have some physical releases of the finished arcs that we've written available for purchase online and at select events. The creator has said she has no interest in making physical releases of the original run. I'd love for that to change, but I respect her decision and I won't press the matter. I'm just grateful we have permission to sell anything we make using her characters.

If you could go back in time 5 years, what advice would you give yourself?

Coffee: 15 and 16 were ROUGH ages for me tbh. i wont get into it because its super personal, but i was struggling with a lot and just generally not having a very good time. i think the best advice i could give to myself would just be that like. things will eventually get better. no matter how dark or hopeless things may be, theres always a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel. now if 15 year old me would have taken that to heart is a whole DIFFERENT question, but thats what i would say. 16 was like right before i (finally) started getting treatment for my mental health, so i think considering everything thats what i would say.

Myne: So many bad things happened during those five years, but… I wish I knew what burnout felt like, so I could recognize it. I have this tendency to put my self worth into “how much have you done today”, so once I started working full time and my father passed, I couldn’t recognize that I was physically and emotionally exhausted some days and needed rest, so I’d just punish myself mentally for not being more motivated. You shouldn’t need permission to rest, and I felt like I had to. It’s healthy to ‘nothing’ sometimes, especially if you’re dealing with things you have no control over.

Coffee: thank you for interviewing myne and i for your podcast :D!! its absolutely wild to think that ive done anything interview-worthy and yet here we are! for anyone thats interested in the comic because of this, i also emplore you to go check out the creators current comic "si3lah" (pronounced like si-ayn-lah i think? the 3 is a stand-in for an arabic letter) on gumroad! it deserves way more attention than it currently has and you should 100% go support the original creator if you like the stuff we do (wink wink).

#mod speak #interview #official

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randomcontentdude · 15 days ago

Text

Sex

Let's start by the beginning. I started masturbating when I had 10 days left to be 12, somehow I just remembered that fact. At this time I thought I was straight so I would do it thinking of girls but always focusing on how she would feel, which makes me think many things one of them that I was unconsciously fantasising about being fucked by me on my wedding night?

The first time I watched porn I was 13, it was gay porn, I had had my bisexual awakening. It was a "threesome between straight friends" and it was 21 minutes longs, it took me like a week to finish this of. I did not think of incognito mode on my browser so I would search "gay porn" and then delete my record but at some point it would just start autocompleting to gay porn and I panicked and thats when I remembered incognito.

It was around this age that I started putting things up my ass too, in my mind I "had to be ready". The first thing was a toothbrush, then I had a toothbrush travel case that was rounded cylinder, close enough to a dick. That case was my best friend until I was around 15 when my dog found it under my pillow when I was cleaning myself off and decided to bite it until the sharp dents made it unusable. Then I changed to a ladle and that one still lives in my hometown bathroom. I had a bidet that accidentally douched me since I was like 11, I was not aware of this being useful until the toothbrush case and I crossed paths.

During the pandemic I turned myself into product for sexual consumption, there was an app to add people your age in snapchat, and eventually this became a habit of sexting and sending nudes (bare in mind I was 15?) to other teens every. day. sometimes multiple times a day. I spent weeks doing this. Why? im not sure... this blog was abandoned already, would've love to see what I was thinking back then. I think it was probably related to how insecure I was and how validated this made me feel. but oh well.

I lost by virginity when I was 17 to my at the time boyfriend who I felt no attraction for but I was gaslighting myself into thinking I did. Sex with him was always painful and uncomfortable, its been too long for me to remember clearly but ig his dick was decent size too, not something the shouldve been a problem tho, I dilate with easy and I had put larger things down there on my own, he was just not doing it for me, and sex always felt about me having to please him and sucking it up. We only had sex three times. I never really enjoyed, there were instances where I felt at risk of being forced onto situations I didnt want and with my current experience with absolute strangers I now know how not only wrong but sad this was. I was so skinny and fit compared to him too, and so much prettier, just a little younger (months) but also a lot more inexperienced. I feel like a wasted that first youth on someone that took whatever he wanted from me and I just let it happen, and not in a sexy way.

So I cheated on him, but I didnt because I had been trying to break up with him for a week when this happened. I was not expecting to be harassed once again tho. I signed up for making out and then I had this guy sucking me off after I had asked him to wait, that I didnt want to yet, I was not even turning it down but at some point I just let it happen. It was just a few seconds because thats when security came to kick us out of the toilet. I was relieved.

Eigth months passed by before I had another sexual encounter, I downloaded Grindr before leaving my hometown. I wanted to meet up with this guy who was way older than me (I had just turned 18) but there were some agenda misunderstandings and it didnt happen. I was a little bummed by this not gonna lie. Then I went over to the place of this other man to blow him, he had a big one and lowkey wanted to fuck him but he had said no penetration and I respected that boundary. His place was an absolute mess, on a super ugly building and I just kept asking myself what was I doing, then we got to it and I actually enjoyed it, I really did and it was something I thought and fantasised of for over a year. However as soon as I left I started crying, I cried all the way home, I took a super abrasive shower and washed my mouth with soap. I still dont understand what triggered this reaction on me. he did push my deep throat bit much and I ended up puking on him a little, I never felt bad, thats on him for not letting go, never had someone push like that again. Thats the only thing I can think of that could have triggered such a reaction on me, or maybe the fact that the surroundings were unpleasant... I dont know.

it took me 14 months before I had another sexual encounter, I had been living in my new city for a year, went back home and this was just after I came back. Basically the way this went down was my friend and I were both with our flings for the night at the club, we were smoking outside when one of her previous flings appeared on the distance, so in order to lure her current fling around the corner so the previous ones didn't see us, I had to take mine so she could follow me. The problem is that he wouldn't just come and I had to give him the excuse that "it was darker and more private". We were making out when he tried to get his hands in my pants. I was taken away by this because WE WERE IN THE STREET. So I took him to the toilet and blew him but not really cause at some point he pushed my head away and asked me to snore? that was weird but yea. I sometimes think about it, what if he didnt want me to blow him? what if I did the same to him that was done to me? but also I communicated I didnt want to, we went on to do other stuff too, unlike what happened to me. We had been making out for like an hour and he initiated sexual contact. Plus he was older than me, and four years older than the me that got harassed in the bathroom, I think he would be able to say what he wants and what he doesn't. Analysing it right now it seems like he just had a fetish for breathing and he deffo preferred to listen than for me to blow him. we finished and I automatically grabbed my friend and run AWAY from the club. Idk why but I did. I felt liberated, I felt like I had just done a little quirky thing. we laughed it off and we went home. It was a little funny anecdote, I told my friends from uni. It was fun and funny and for the first time I felt comfortable in my sexuality.

There was this guy I was dating earlier during the summer who I wanted to fuck but he watched feelings and I felt uncomfortable using him for casual sex if he had feelings for me...

The next encounter I had after the bathroom blowy was actually the next week. Me and my friend went to the same club, but her ex came along, ohh right this is Absent friend, find the reference in the people annex pinned on my profile. She's a different person when her ex comes along. I was drunk, probably more than the previous time we had gone out. She left me alone to fuck her ex, we have each other's location so I knew she was home. I was upset, I left, I was horny. I downloaded Grindr and fucked the first man that crossed paths with me. I was dead lucky he didnt take advantage of me, If something I was in the wrong, how could I show up in that state? embarrassing. Sex was good, but it got messy (literally) and that was my fault for agreeing to do things I was NOT supposed to be doing. Everything was okay tho, I left his place feeling so chill, like I finally owned my sexuality. It's crazy but it's the truth, I felt at peace and I felt like I finally owned this part of me that I felt was taken away from me. And I enjoyed sex for the first time.

three months passed by before I decided to do ir again, I got horny, I texted the guy I was dating over summer but no answer. When I had an overnight layover coming back from visiting childhood friend I decided to (take a guess) download Grindr and see if I could blow someone in the toilets. did not happen but I kept the app afterwards. I feel more comfortable in my body too, so that is helpful when it comes to this situations.

So I had just gotten to the city when I got on the app, why? I was really horny. So before I could accept requests from ugly randoms this very cute guy asks to hook up and I was like hell yeah! he was super. hot. And he was cute too, he was on an open relationship tho but oh well not everything could be perfect, what was perfect was that his "carpet" was blonde, that took me by surprise cause he was a light brunette, but oh god did it made me happy. Sex was ok, he made sure I enjoyed tho. I left as soon as we finished. it was something for sure, he was HOT. I went on with my day, I went climbing right after and yk what? I felt like a bad bitch. I felt invincible, I felt powerful, and I felt like I really needed that. He was also on board to do it again sometime, which changed my perspective: Why would I fuck a random mid man if I had this respectful hottie available?

Thats also something I want to grasp upon: he was respectful, he asked for consent, he made sure I enjoyed. I know my ex was young and so was I, but it feels good to feel desired, seen and respected. And he had blond pubes. never forget about my obsession with blonds.

After a week of this encounter and just messing around the app without doing anything I decided I was done so I uninstalled it...for a week, then I was back. But I was not back to hook up again, im just an attention whore and I loved to have men wanting to fuck me plus I was bored while studying and male validation is great for motivation. Until another hottie texted me, headless torso, I was not looking for sex when I answered...until he sent a face pic and HE WAS SO. BLOND. And as hot as the previous one. And when I say blond I mean like blond-ginger that only jews can be (he is indeed jewish). We met, he was packing a big one, we had the same kinks, we like similar things and he is BRAZILIAN. Ive always had a kink for Brazilians. This man fulfilled like 4 of my fantasies at the same time. I have some skills that I dint know I had, had great sex, and we had an aftersex talk that was super cool, now im deffo repeating that one. He is a doctor too? and a potterhead? I would marry him, and I think thats the problem cause Im scared of getting attached to someone that I shouldn't. He got my mind of gg blonde for sure tho. How did I feel? overjoyed. I was dancing in the street afterwards.

And here I am again later that night (6am because I stayed uo studying), when an American that was on a business trip liked my profile. I am a sucker for Americans...and for those visiting...So I had to hit him up. We started talking and he is actually super eloquent, and fun, our conversation was smart and horny at the same time. I told him I was not bottoming tonight tho, Brazilian guy had left me tired (I didnt tell him that ofc). Well, we met up and we blew each other, it was probably the best orgasm in my life, he was super handsome with piercing grey eyes, he smelled amazing and even without penetration it was one of my best (if not the best) sexual experience I've ever had. we had a conversation about ECONOMIC HISTORY afterwards which was so sexy ngl. Im lowkey in love, he was such a gentleman too. I just felt in cloud 9 after. He was also telling me how hot I was all the way through which made me blush haha.

So as an overall, this latest experiences have shown me that 1. I dont need to settle or for someone to settle with me. Im hot, and pretty, and smart, and desirable and if someone that pursues a relationship with me is unable to treat me in the same way a fucking hook up can then they dont deserve me. 2. Ive regained confidence in my body, in myself and ive regained the sense of autonomy I had been missing for years, ive re claimed the right to my own pleasure and body. 3. those who eat in silence, eat twice, only virtual friend knows about this.

Edit: I wanted to add a few comments.

Sex had always felt transactional for me, until this summer it had always been something I was supposed to do and honestly after reviewing all recent events I find that maybe I’m not as certain as I was about it. For me it had never been important and i had always had a low sex drive (even if I masturbate super often, like daily sometimes multiple times a day) I never had the need to actually fuck someone. But now I’m starting to understand many things about attraction and how sex could impact your relationship with others and with yourself. I feel like I’m discovering a different face of sex I wasn’t able to see before and I think it was about time for me to do so.

Pd: I can’t believe how attention whore ish I am, it’s crazy.

#shitpost #diary #random thoughts #random shit #piece of life #gay #lgbtq #late night posts #sex talks

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zouislover · 1 month ago

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hiii it’s me again, sorry i vanished, got caught up in christmas things. now it’s the day after christmas so i’m back 😅 it was lovely, i got some very nice gifts !! including some fancy perfume i wanted, a red panda plushie (my fav animal), a projector, and a massage voucher which i have been dyingggg forrrr. how have ur last few days been?

yeahh we’re not too different in age but we’re very different people lol. had a bit of a crisis last night that i’m gonna be 27 this coming year that i forgot my half birthday isn’t until january 1st which means im still 26 for over half a year…. but that’s what my anxiety does unfortunately. i’m rly trying to just enjoy where i am and not care how old i am yk? i feel more like a teenager now than when i was a teenager! just figuring everything out for the first time.

waittt the kpop choreo with bollywood music sounds sick?? what’s the account name? yeah the production level is crazy it blew me away when i first got into kpop. there are 5 ppl in txt! they’re a super easy band to get into imo! one of my fav groups (seventeen) has 13 members lol a lot more to catch up with. still, once u get into kpop for the first time, it’s rly easy to learn everything about new groups rly quickly. i loveeee bts but i totally understand, esp as they got so popular, getting into the fandom part is hard sometimes. (fun fact txt are actually bts’ juniors in their company!) i still don’t rly have many friends who are into kpop, and my kpop blog has almost no followers. getting into a new fandom in general is hard! but i’m actually not exaggerating when i say, for me personally, getting into kpop as a whole thing is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. ik that sounds dramatic and it’s not for everyone but it’s true for me! if u wanna start easy on some good easy songs my top 5 would be:

lo$er=lover,

devil by the window,

farewell neverland,

frost,

opening sequence,

if you do give them a shot, i highly recommend the music videos or performance videos instead of just the song!

yeah i think so too. ^-^ my name isn’t similar to my url and u don’t follow me as far as i’m aware, so i can tell u my name if u waaant! and ok fun fact, my parents wanted to name me grace, but then my first and last names would’ve rhymed. so they gave me a name that MEANS grace, but then spelled it differently?? and it’s also japanese (tho i am not), and my middle name has two meanings. so technicallyyyy they wanted my name to mean “grace from the heavenly ocean” but it actually ended up meaning “flower of the sea and sky”

i’ve never been into hard liquor but i used to get drunk on white wine and peach juice a lot. or maybe a white wine spritzer. maybe a white claw or two but usually just wine. when i was like 19/20 (yea underage but just at home or when i was house sitting) as it only took like a glass or two for me to be drunk lolll and drunk for me just meant like….. crying over movies and getting rly flirty and silly and dumb. and then i got a little older and was like oooookay enough of that. u don’t like clubs ur not social u just drink alone in ur room reading so why don’t u just have tea instead. so i switched to tea, then lost my taste for alcohol. (also got very very drunk on halloween while my friend was visiting and was like alr never drinking again!). wine made me soooo sleepy tho and like a few months ago i had half a glass of wine for the first time in ages and immediately fell asleep on the couch for an hour lmao.

my fav pizza topping is pineapple! yes i’m that bitch. i think it goes perfectly. or mushroom, depending on my mood. and i lovveee the heart shaped pasta! i have it every year on valentine’s day. we actually buy shaped pasta for every holiday, a week ago or so we had snowflake shaped pasta! can u not get it where u are?

honestly i don’t remember everything we had, my mom ordered it all. i know we had chicken tikka masala, butter chicken, palak paneer, some sort of veg curry thing? lots of naan….. a couple other things i don’t rly remember what they were sorry. i’ve liked every indian dish i’ve ever tried tho!

yessss well spanish is our official second language, there are a loooot of spanish speakers here, and there were a lot when i grew up on the west coast bc we border mexico. so california has a lot of mexicans. i would be so anxious moving to a country where i didn’t speak their language well, im so impressed by immigrants that come to the states and anyone who moves somewhere like that! it must be soooo hard.

yesss we’re very close, and i’ll def send pics of stuff off anon! and pls, we joke all the time that my family is SO similar to the dunphys lol. i did dress up for halloween! i was like a dark fairy. i’ll tell u my ig after and u can see the costume if u want ^-^ it snowed where i USED to live, and hopefully i’ll move again soon to where it snows again, but rn i live somewhere hot and i hate it. my dog’s name is oliver! very basic unfortunately i was not in charge of the name lol but oli suits him too. do u have any pets? christmas tree farms and pumpkin patches are so funnn, if u ever visit the states during holiday season i will take u to do those things u can tag along with the modern family gang lol

ooo i would enjoy working at an ice rink! i love being in there. i’d be annoyed stuck working when i wanna skate tho ngl.

there’s a big chinese new year festival here in a couple of weeks im excited for!! i would lovveee to go to some indian holiday festivals too, they always look so so festive and fun! i do not have a partner, i have been single my whole life, which rly adds to my yearning writer vibes lol. i spend valentine’s day with my family and we get each other gifts, my mom gets rly into EVERY holiday so we decorate and get themed foods and treats, and then later my parents go out to dinner and my sister and i have a self care night.

for italian food in boston, i always get a margherita pizza and just like pasta pomodoro, but last time i had a pizza with goat cheese and caramelised onion

and arugula and it was absolutely incredible. i also have a lot of cannolis and tiramisu :P i go to boston every so often, it’s actually a small possibility i will move there this year? but im not 100% that’s happening yet so im trying not to get my hopes up too much. it’s very cool there tho one of my fav places.

i feel like i’m doing all the talking when i should be asking u questions !! what’s smth good that happened to u this week? anything ur looking forward to? only a week until i reveal my identity! tho i have a feeling u already know who it is based on smth that i know 👀

happy thursday hehe ❄️

hiiiii hellooo sorry for the late reply x

i knew how big christmas is for u so i assumed u were having a lovely time with ur family! very pleased to hear that it went lovely! how was watching the holiday this year? 👀 ooh i love perfumes, do u have a signature perfume/scent that u always use or are u more the experimental kind? i love love love plushies and i demand a picture when u are off anon <3 just today i went and got myself a blue penguin. i saw her last week and was contemplating whether to bring her home and today i finally said fuck it i'm getting her and i was SO lucky because it was the last blue one in that size so here u go say hello to zula 💙

i feel u so much about the age thing because it hit me out of nowhere when i was 23 and i just felt too much™ about being 23. like just a complex web of untangled emotions and i couldn't believe i was 23. turning 21 in the pandemic really did a number on me huh 😬 and 24 came with a very settled feeling of how i just can not wait for my 30s like i'm looking forward to it SO much. am i right to assume that ur birthday is june 1st? 👀 my sister's birthday is in june too!

it genuinely is so funny that account because it mashes up all the popular bollywood songs to really good kpop choreos. i remember seeing some with bts on there! i found two videos here and here both songs are very popular in india! i think i remember my sister explaining to me how the kpop industry works. correct me if i'm work, but it's usually these entertainment companies that aspiring artists register to and go through rigourous training before getting put together as a band right? a friend of mine who is a bts fan explained to me how there's different lines based on the vocal skills within a band! oh my god 13 members sounds like a lot 😭 i would need so much time to be able to recognise and differentiate each member but doesn't it make the music very chaotic with the vocals? i think i have an odd mutual or two who's into kpop but i'm completely blanking on who rn 😭 honestly it doesn't sound dramatic at all because i completely get the feeling (i'm a 1d girlie after all 😬) and i love how music has this ability to intertwine with ur life! ooh i love the song titles that u mentioned i'll definitely check them out and get back to u 👀 have u been able to pick up on korean since getting into kpop?

i love how ur parents put so much thought into naming u and came up with a creative name because flower of the sea and sky sounds! so! amazing! i was just talking to my mum last night about baby names because we have naming ceremony coming up in our family and i asked my mum whether they gave that much thought into naming me and my sister and she was like nope 😬 although! i have never met a single person with my name so that's a win for me <3

yeah i only just started drinking this year and i really like some gins and ciders but i can never become a beer person 🫡 i love how u are saying 19/20 is underage because in india technically 21 is the legal drinking age but everyone starts drinking wayyy before that and in the uk it's 16 😭 i've never really gotten drunk and from everyone's experiences i don't intend to either. i get u about wine making u sleepy though because whenever i have had alcohol i get so sleepy too! what's ur favourite tea? do u like herbal ones?

i have actually never tried pineapple on pizza but i'm surprised by how many of my friends actually do like it. i'm in general not a pineapple fan though :( and i'm a mushroom hater (i also found out im allergic in the weirdest possible way 😬) but my go to toppings are onions, peppers, jalapenos and olives! snowflake pasta oh my god that is so cute!! pls send me a picture if u have one <3 i actually haven't looked around for different shapes of pasta yet so i'm gonna do that next time im out grocery shopping!

all of those dishes are definitely india's popular ones so u definitely had some of the best ones and im so glad to hear u liked it!!! i know u mentioned tea so if u get a chance u should definitely try masala chai!

i actually didn't know that spanish is the official second language! i'm only just learning spanish now and i'm honestly so glad that the people here have been so warm and welcoming towards me while i learn a whole new language!

exactly u guys sound so much like the dunphys and i love that for u!! ooh a dark fairy! was it inspired by any of ur favourite characters or was it an original outfit? and yes i'd love to be besties on insta too 💖

oh u missed snow this year :( here's me manifesting snow for u next year with snowflake pasta and soup 💖 oliver is a cute name i like it!! say hello to oli from me 💙

i don't have any pets yet but i do intend to adopt cat by 2027 so let's see how that goes 🫡 i would looveee to join u guys for all the fun festive activities it sounds so warm and filled with joy <3 working at the ice rink was fun but listening to the same christmas playlist made me go insane 😬

ah very excited for the chinese festival! let me know how it goes! and honestly u should see at least one of our festivals because we are very loud celebrators 🫣 god i feel u on the yearning because it's been too long™ for me too, i've always been single and i better get a girlfriend in 2025 because what is this 😭 i loveeee ur valentines celebration tradition because it is filled with so much love!

honestly pomodoro goes really hard and omg i love goat's cheese and caramelised onion and especially if it's a thin crust pizza with some rockets on it, it's so so good! i tried cannolis once and i didn't much like it🫣 but i do loveeee tiramisu!

i'm actually hearing so much praise about boston recently that i want to visit it now! seed wrote about boston so fondly and noah kahan also loves boston and now u are mentioning moving there! manifesting it so so much for u! does it snow in boston?

oh no u are not doing too much talking, this is definitely a two way street and i love chatting to u too! i went to get some clothes and then of course i got zula the blue penguin so i'm very happy about that! i'm getting a laptop for my sister and we finally managed to select one and my parents should be getting it by tomorrow so very excited for her!

also oh my god my perception of time is so off rn thank u for reminding me that we're supposed to reveal ourselves soon because otherwise i'd just continue to yap on anon (and hehe i do think i know who u are and i kinda figured it out around ur second message itself 👀)

hope u had a very lovely weekend and hope ur new years celebrations are filled with joy 💖

#holiday pal ❄️

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skautism · 6 months ago

Note

ANSWER ALL THE EVEN NUMBER QUESTIONS ON THE ASK GAME YOU REBLOGGED!!! MWAHHAHAAHA!

(if u dont wanna do that thats ok lol just do like… 2-6… when i rb those posts i always lowkey wanna answer all the questions so i thought maybe u might enjoy this !)

WOOOO oh boy. ill skip the two i already answered (and fucking. misread)

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

im gonna only say happy things. having an art mom, my first internet friend ever who introduced me to vocaloid, and futurama

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

newsies (1992), borderline forever, and ghostbusters :3

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

incorrectly weighing a package before shipping it so that the recipient has to pay the postage

what made you start your blog?

musicals lol

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

best: frieeeends :)/worst: strangers not knowing how to mind their damn business

what scares you the most and why?

death. do i need to explain that?

any reacquiring dreams?

mostly fucked up shit like getting sexually assaulted. also lots of getting lost. i only ever have recurring nightmares :/

tell a story about your childhood

my mom pierced my ears for me as a kid since the only option for a 6 year old in georgia at the time was claires and she doesnt like claires at all. we had to do each ear months apart because it hurt a lot and scared me. had to give in and do the other ear because my dads 2nd wife said one ear was tacky and they were about to have their wedding

would you say you’re an emotional person?

nooooooooooo the only place im vulnerable on is here

what do you consider to be romance?

longass walks together

what’s some good advice you want to share?

LEARN TO TOUCHTYPE

what are you doing right now?

about to get back to my fic draft yippeeeeeee

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

nothing really? its either "i dont care that im scared ill do it" or "yeah i dont want to do that i dont think id like it"

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

very silly but. wii and 3ds

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

we are removing my health problems

name 3 things that make you happy

writing, mario kart, trapeze

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

both

favourite thing about the day?

sunny breeze :3

favourite things about the night?

its quieter and easier to walk around because theres less cars

are you a spiritual person?

i mean i believe in ghosts

say 3 things about someone you love

they make really cool music and are supportive of what i do without trying to force me into bullshit and make me really happy

say 3 things about someone you hate

he doesnt know how to actually take accountability for fucking up, hes a dick to my mom, and tried to force me off my meds when they were still working

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

im writing again! i thought i never would actually get the ideas and motivation back

fave season and why?

fall!!!!!! halloweeeeen and better weather and stepping on leaves and pinecones

fave colour and why?

purple. its pretty :)

any nicknames?

i have a few based on my real name but wont share them for obvious reasons lolol

what do you do when you’re sad?

jack off

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

card games

are you messy or organised?

extremely fucking messy

how many tabs do you have open right now?

13 on my laptop

any hobbies?

game collecting, playing video games, cd collecting, various art mediums including digital and traditional art and sewing/embroidery and knitting and linocut/blockprinting, obsessively reading tvtropes, bass, piano, guitar, saxophone, sudoku, solitaire, and writing fanfiction

any pet peeves?

people going "shhhh" it hurts my fucking ears SO BAD

do you trust easily?

yeah

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

walls up. i know that directly contradicts trusting easily its complicated

share a secret

id rather not

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

look at my pinned post and guess. and because i like video games and its funny and i like the characters

any bad habits?

vaping and also my ten billion ocd compulsions

#asks #Anonymous

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dragonsandvideogames · 1 year ago

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hello! i am starting this blog mainly for art- i predict about 90% of it will be reblogged art, usually of animals or video game stuff. i'll also be sharing my own art and talking about video game stuff occasionally, mainly my genshin impact challenge runs. yes runs plural. i have 3 currently, alongside my main account. more about them under the cut further below.

my current art style is just space with planets. mildly cartoony i think? def not realistic, but i think it's pretty (im a sucker for space, though i'd be terrified to actually go up in a space ship or anything- im content to admire from afar lol).

planning to share art on a MWF schedule- i can make the space art p quick and easily, so i need some sort of limiter so i don't burn myself out, while also practicing sticking to a schedule and also just doing art more frequently- im extremely rusty atm. hoping getting into the habit of drawing more often will shake off the rust and bolster my confidence.

i also like to use free stock photos as a sort of cut-out guide to make animal shapes out of space. it's fun and pretty painless- im used to spending hours getting angry at myself for not being able to free-hand anatomy, to the extent i stopped drawing for i think about two years now? cause i just hated everything i tried to make. rn i just wanna get used to drawing again without getting so angry with myself, and then slowly work on free-handing again.

oh, and! if you're doing a genshin challenge run, feel free to ramble to me about it! i love genshin challenge runs- i've got several im keeping tabs of on yt, and several more i wanna catch up on. aand question- what's your pulling plans for this upcoming patch?

on my main, im at i think 53 pity on 50/50, gonna try to pull xianyun. my most hoped for result- lose 50/50 to tighnari (or jean, ill take jean too), then spend a few 10 pull to get xianyun while getting faruzan and noelle to c6. overly hopeful maybe! i'd also be happy to win 50/50 too, of course. not getting the 4 stars c6 would sting a little, but it's more primos for future banners (already have nahida so once i get xianyun im done pulling).

challenge run #1 is a standard banner only account. it's the furthest along by a long shot, having been started several months ago, but bc it's a more casual account, im thinking it'll get overtaken fast. currently post act 1 of inazuma, with level 60 characters, almost ready to upgrade them to 70.

originally planned to not pull at all til i got all the free characters up to 90 and fully built, and then had a realization that was kinda incompatible with how i was playing- there just keep being more and more free characters, and it's a slow paced account that im mostly using to replay story stuff when i feel like. so now i just do pulls whenever.

i feel like the game mildly punished me for that decision, bc out of 200+ pulls, i got. 3 5 star weapons and a diluc (who im not really interested in playing atm, though i DID get wolf's gravestone. so im on the fence). and then a little while ago, i got qiqi. i had been really, really hoping for tighnari, or at least. pretty much anyone else? keqing, jean, and dehya i'd have been fine with. don't really want mona, so i'll probably end up getting her next. or another weapon :P

next is dark hair only, where yeah. i only play characters with dark hair. i just started less than a week ago now, so very young account. i judge who has dark hair using medibang's color picker on the character' hair in their icon (ignoring shadows and highlights), since it's neutral lighting. any character who stays generally at or under 100 value counts as dark haired.

some characters were hard to judge bc gradients- shout-out to mona for being a weird edgecase- the purples in her hair are definitely too light, and most of her roots are in shadow or covered, so it's hard to get a good read. i'm thinking she will count though- if for no other reason than, there's literally only 13 other characters that count currently.

all who are currently allowed in dark hair only- amber (this one caught me off-guard ngl), beidou, dehya, kaeya, mona, tighnari, venti, wanderer, wriothesley, xiao, xinyan, yelan, yun jin, and zhongli. surprisingly, raiden shogun, xiangling, and kujou sara don't actually make the cut-off- they're all generally just a little bit above 100.

xianyun and gaming's icons aren't officially released yet, so while i expect they'll make the cut-off, im still not gonna count them quite yet.

last account, which i finally got going yesterday, is signature weapons only. simple enough for most of the limited 5 stars- and with xiao coming up, this is the best time to start, since PJWS is also a standard banner weapon. ganyu's also a must-pull for this account for similar reasons.

as far as four stars and five stars without signature weapons, my first thought was "whichever weapon they used in their character miscellany". and then i actually checked, and dear mercy, there is. 0 synergy with the weapons they chose for so many of them. i still haven't gotten over EM layla. it would be a severe power discrepency- 5 stars get a weapon that bolsters their abilities, while 4 stars often get a stat stick at best.

so im kinda at square one with them now. my next thought is just, scrub through the character miscellany, record all the weapons a given character uses, and then those are the weapons available to that character. repeat for the next character. which could give them much more flexibility. that's gonna take hours though, so ive been putting it off lol.

could also just keep it simple and say, if a character has a signature they HAVE to use it, if not, then whatever. or put a rule that i have to pick 1 weapon per 4 star, and they can't be shared (ie yun jin and yaoyao can't both have fav spear), with shuffling allowed when new weapons come. dunno, ill think on it some more while exploring new region on my main ;P

oh, and general rule for all accounts- trial characters and traveler are allowed for solving puzzles, if necessary, just not for combat. will try to avoid when possible of course.

#intro post #my posts #standard banner only #dark hair only #signature weapon only #genshin impact #feels wrong to just tag genshin and not any art stuff but like #there's no art here it's mostly just me rambling about genshin lol #ill post some art later while game is updating #for now i think i'll just go reblog a bunch ive had sitting in my likes bc ive been too shy to post til now

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gaddaboutgriffon · 11 months ago

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Yeah this feels like this has potential and is not growing as much as I thought it would.

Danny wakes up to muffled voices of a whispered argument in another room. His hazy mind is noting that this is the warmest he has been in a while and that he is just coming out of a good sleep. Part of him just wants to sink back into the already fading dream he was having. But having spent 13 months running, hiding from Vlad and the bounty hunters the fruit loop hired to drag him back to that castle in Wisconsin he had learned not stick around.

Whispering means they think he is still asleep. Arguing means they are distracted. He doesn’t know who they are but the voices are vaguely familiar and that hasn’t been a good thing for him in over a year.

He turns invisible and intangible, diving down as most hunters expect ghosts to go up. There is a startled female yelp, “He vanished!”

Danny zipped through the floor below. His enhanced hearing heard deep male teen voice say that thermal sensors are picking up a moving cold spot. Danny silently cursed. Tech like that was always bad news. He tried to phase out a window but smacked against a magic ward on the building, giving him a painful shock and sapping some of his energy. To human eyes the magic shield would have looked like a shadow but Danny could see a purple tint to it. It was a passive ward that was placed on the outer walls and windows a while ago but seems to be refreshed weekly. It was designed to keep spirits from entering but in this case also keeping Danny from leaving. He would have to get out through an actual door.

He heard some running and an male dressed in traffic light colors shout they see him. He must have dropped his invisibility when he hit the ward. Danny flew off again going down another floor not stopping as the teen called, “Wait we just want to talk!”

The chase went on for what seemed like hours. Danny flying Dow halls and threw inner wall, up and down floors. Bumping into the warded outer walls occasionally as he searches for any exit. Each time he touched the ward it would hurt and drain more of his energy and it was getting harder to use his powers. He had for gone invisibility a while ago. And that meant the teens in the building could better track him and of course tried to call out to him. Asking him to stop, promising they wouldn’t hurt him, what was he afraid of, let them help him. Danny hasn’t fallen for tricks like those since a couple months after escaping Vlad. He wasn’t going to start now.

Danny had to stop for a breath after phasing through the last wall. His powers had almost given out half through and he would have been stuck. After a minute the dizziness faded and he looked up to se he was in a garage, with a door to the outside! It was only a electronic lock between him and freedom that Danny could easily hot wire to open. He didn’t waste a second with to think of hacking and ripped open the panel. He saw the wires he would need to cross after a few second and grabbed them. He stripped the ends and touched them together and the door began to open.

“Azarath Metrion Zinthos!”

Magic swirled around Danny stopping him in midair just as he had finally cleared the threshold out and pulled him back in.

Well now that I have left you with that lovely angsty version of Danny’s point of view for a tasty misunderstanding, I leave it to others to add on. @azulhood @arzuera @bianca-hooks123 @bloggerspam @dcxdpdabbles @dragonsrequiem @evilminji @flamingpudding @fightmebissh @hypewinter @hdgnj @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @jedipirateking @kizzer55555 @puppetmaster13u @starlightcat04 @stormikitty @virgamsysxvolumes @zylev-blog

After being on the run for a long time, Danny somehow stumbles his way into the middle of a fight. This leads to him joining the Teen Titans (much to his confusion).

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #hyper prompts #danny phantom #story prompt #teen titans

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bagelwithcreamcheeseandham · 2 years ago

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These are things that happened a while ago, but I'm trying to find all the scattered bits I've written in my journals/memos/notes etc. and put them in this blog so they're all in one place.

~~~~~~~~

12/19/22

I keep fainting.

It only really started within the past few years when I [ate very little], so of course I figured that was the reason why. But now that I'm [eating more], and am mostly sedentary, (aside from light weightlifting twice a week) it's still happening and I don't know why.

It only happens when I stand up and stretch after sitting for a while, it's not like I'm walking somewhere and pass out suddenly. Getting dizzy after standing is pretty common I think, so im sure this isn't like, an emergency level health situation.

Sometimes I'll just get dizzy for a second and that's it. Other times I get really dizzy and my vision fades out and I just kinda, end up on the floor. That typically happens less often, but recently I've had alot more occurances than usual. It's already happened twice today.

I'm especially confused because the past 2 months I've been eating more than I have in a long while. Like what the heck lol?

~~~~~~~~

1/27/13

I habve fucking anemia 😭😭

~~~~~~~~

2/14/23

i passed out before i even *got out of bed* today. what the fuck?? I didnt even know that was possible i thought it only happend when i stood up.

i sat up, sitting on my knees, did a big stretch, and then felt it coming on. I fell back literally thinking "💀 No way this just happened lmao".

But I can say now, i dont want to pass out anywhere BUT my bed ever. Head to pillow is so much nicer than head to floor lol. Though I'm on the top bunk so if I'm at a wrong angle I guess that could be bad :/

~~~~~~~~

2/14/23

i dont wanna give the impression though that i stand up and my head goes smashing to the floor. For me its like a slow collapse. I can usually avoid hitting my head before im on the floor.

But sometimes if im in a position where i could possibly get hurt, Im actually able to like, grasp onto my conciousness enough to do something about it lol. Maybe its adrenaline? Like once i ended up on my bum about to lean/fall backwards into the corner of my desk, but somehow i was able to put my hand between my head and the desk edge, and keep it there until i was able to regain full control of my body again.

so weird how this works i dont understand it :/

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malevolentbutler · 6 years ago

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❝ — Now, then...

—— I do have a rather surprising number of inquiries left for me that have been left untouched for a considerable amount of time. It is only expected that these curious guests have since left the manor, but I shall take the liberty of tending to them nonetheless. ❞

#sorry for being gone for so long ;;;;#so much has happened #i started this blog when i was 13 and now im only a few months away from going into college!#uhhhh #im not sure who's still on here and i might be posting these for no one to see #but it is so nostalgic to be back even if only for a short while

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ssahotstuff · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,093 times in 2022

That's 2,093 more posts than 2021!

266 posts created (13%)

1,827 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@maschotch

@masterwords

@ssahotstuff

@hotch-girl

@lesbianhotch

I tagged 513 of my posts in 2022

#aaron hotchner - 371 posts

#criminal minds - 274 posts

#hotch - 246 posts

#ssa aaron hotchner - 219 posts

#ssa hotchner - 197 posts

#aaron hotchner smut - 157 posts

#hotchner - 118 posts

#aaron hotchner x you - 98 posts

#thomas gibson - 77 posts

#aaron hotchner playlist collection - 64 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#once again think im giving cm too much credit but i love the costume choice that the surgeon is fucking drenched with sweat. like so visibly

My Top Posts in 2022:

Hotch x Fem Reader playlist collection 💕

These are stand-alone and do not go together unless stated otherwise.

Hysteria by Def Leppard here

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: age gap, (reader is in college & is Jack's babysitter when Aaron is out of town) alcohol consumption, (but not enough to be drunk,) smut, penetration, oral, (m & f receiving) sexting, light choking, dirty talk, etc.

The lights were dazzling against your shimmery black top as you navigated your way towards your friend Penelope who was waiting for you at the bar. It seemed to be the least crowed spot in the place, and considering it was the first night off you'd had in weeks, you were grateful. You enjoyed babysitting Jack, and you especially enjoyed Aaron, which he insisted you call him despite everyone else calling him Hotch. He was intimidating and full of authority but you were able to see past that. Deep down, he was a caring man who would do anything for the people around him.

He was home for the night, and Jack was at sleep away camp for the week, so you hadn't seen the two of them in a few days. You were starting to miss them, but you didn't want to overstep your boundaries and say anything.

"You look hot," Penelope raved, twirling you around so she could examine your outfit. It was out of your comfort zone, showing off more skin than usual, but with your dark, smoky eye makeup and your skin tight jeans, you felt better than you had in months. The stress of finals and helping Jack prepare for end of the year testing had you in a frazzled mindset but now that it was summer, you and Penny were celebrating. She worked closely with Aaron, and she often tried to convince you that he had the hots for you. It was cliché, sure, wanting the babysitter, but secretly, you would love the opportunity to have him for yourself.

Despite the fact you were with your dear friend, you couldn't shake the man from your mind, and somehow he ended up as the topic of conversation between the two of you. Penelope had a way of getting you to share more than you normally would, and this was no different.

"I know it's bad, he's like my boss," you said sheepishly, your fingers hovering over his name in your contact list. You'd been debating seeing what he was up to on his lonely Friday night.

"Your both adults. And he talks about you, god, it's like your the babysitter of the year," she beamed at you, hyping you up in a way only she knew how to do. In a moment of bravery, you opted to send him a casual message, just letting him know you were thinking about him.

Hey Aaron, I know you're probably busy considering you're off work but I just wanted to see how you were doing. You've been on my mind

You showed Penny the message and she applauded your subtle boldness, and you anxiously sipped on a water in anticipation for his reply. Instead of waiting, you tucked your phone in your bra and took to the dance floor, spinning beneath the kaleidoscope of neon lights until you were dizzy. By the time you decided your feet needed a break, Aaron had replied, and you were surprised to find he was happy to hear from you.

Aaron: Thinking about me on your first night of summer? I'm flattered. You know you're welcome here anytime. What are you up to tonight?

You gushed before showing Penelope the message, hesitant on how to reply. He seemed flirty, and you wanted to take the chance and flirt back with him, especially if he was serious about you being welcome anytime.

I'm at the bar with Penelope but I'll be leaving soon if you'll be awake?

What are you wearing? Do you need clothes to watch a movie in?

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244 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

Home//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

part one can be found here

this is part 2!! <3

Home//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: Emily Prentiss convinces Aaron Hotchner to get a nanny, and she knows the perfect girl for the job. You.

word count: 4.6k

Warnings for this series: SMUTTTT of all the types, minors DNI!! any minors that interact with my work with be blocked! my blog is 18+, violence, depictions of ab*se, terror, cursing, drug/alcohol content, death, crime

i will try to be a little more consistent with my post schedule once i figure out what days i'm gonna be revising and what days i'll be posting lmao. ALSO! neither part 1 or 2 have any smut. that comes next ;)

Aaron's POV

The house was peaceful, more peaceful than usual. There would be no more fumbling for my phone in the middle of the night to reach Jessica, no waking Jack at ungodly hours because work called you away. Most importantly, he'd be home waiting for me every time I come back, and I had Y/N to thank for that.

I hadn't lied when I said I had work to finish, that was almost always true. The work never ended, and if it did, it was only brief. It was a hard job, and a heavy load to carry. Having Y/N here was supposed to make that a little easier. And I had no doubts that she would, in certain aspects. The hardest part was going to be keeping her at a distance. I had been scolding myself all evening for reaching out and grabbing her hand, not once, but twice. But I couldn't help it, she was so honest with me about her life. Even though she wouldn't look me directly in the eye, I could tell they held a lifetime's worth of horrors and evil that only survivors and law enforcement had seen. It was the same look I'd harbored too many times.

I expected to have things in common with her but never anything like this.

It was the only thing on my mind as I mindlessly swept through the paperwork and crawled into bed, the clock on the table flashing 2:32 AM. No matter how tightly I shut my eyes, I couldn't sleep. Plagued by insomnia, or worse, and it wasn't easing up anytime soon. Most nights began like this and I'd just end right back up in my office, coffee in hand, working furiously to escape the exhaustion. Tonight was no different, except work was the furthest thing from my mind.

After a split second of deliberation, my coffee was cooling in its mug, and I had returned to my spot on the sofa, the lamp still on from earlier and the television playing softly in the background. This was the nightly routine when I was home: work, try to sleep, fail, sofa. But I couldn't even convince myself to try to sleep. It would come eventually, and I'd be grateful. Until then, The Golden Girls would be keeping me company.

Hardly any time at all passed before I heard the pouring of another cup of coffee, and was joined by Y/N, hair braided back away from her face and her eyes more rested than anyone else you'd seen at 3 AM.

"It's early," she stated, yawning and joining me on the sofa for the second time, tucking her feet at her side as she got comfortable. The only thing that concealed the smile on my face was the coffee in my hands. I wondered how long she'd been awake, and entertained the idea that maybe she'd been waiting on me to stir. For all I knew she could have been just as restless as I was.

"I hope I didn't wake you," I said, but truthfully, I was glad to hear her feet pad across the floor and into the room, even if the hour was entirely too early.

"No, not at all. I smelled the coffee. You don't look like you've been to bed," her free hand tapped repetitively on her leg, same as earlier. That's when I realized that I made her nervous.

"I don't sleep well most nights. I usually always end up here," I admitted, and she nodded in understanding.

"I'm that way sometimes too. I used to be afraid to sleep in a bedroom."

I noticed she was closer now than she had been. She'd positioned herself at my side, knees barely touching my thigh as her coffee mug met her lips once more.

"Tell me why."

"Afraid of settling into a place because I'd just have to leave again, maybe? Even up until recently I had a really bad habit of living out of a bag. All of my most important stuff stayed in my car, that way if we...if I had to leave, I was ready to go. Bedrooms just weren't a symbol of comfort for me."

"I like how you don't hesitate to answer me even if you aren't sure of what I’ll say in return."

It was her turn to look me over, the smallest smile tugging at her lips.

"I like how you tell me what you like."

"Being indirect has never been one of my strong suits."

She nodded, letting the conversation fall silent. She was trying to focus on the TV, and I was too, at first. I was entirely focused on the TV, trying not to dose off, until she sat her coffee cup on the coaster and patted my arm.

"Do you keep blankets in here?" It came out like a whisper, soft and sweet.

I nodded, pointing to the hope chest across the room, watching as she returned with a blanket entirely too big for her. She leaned into the couch on her side, spreading the blanket over her legs and then tossing me the remaining end.

See the full post

278 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Home//Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: Emily Prentiss convinces Aaron Hotchner to get a nanny, and she knows the perfect girl for the job. You.

word count: 5.5k

Warnings: SMUTTTT of all the types, minors DNI!! any minors that interact with my work with be blocked! my blog is 18+, violence, depictions of ab*se, terror, cursing, drug/alcohol content, death, crime

Let me start by saying I've debated for a week now on whether to share this with anyone. There are intimate details in this story that I put into my writing to use as a coping mechanism, so I ask that you be gentle with me. I have always been interested in writing, but this is the first thing I've shared with the world that I have taken seriously, so please be nice lmao

This story takes place in the Criminal Minds universe, but not to an exact. There are original characters along the way, and some tweaking to the storyline so I can share as few case details as possible. I don't want to ruin anything from the show, so I keep the cases really vague. I will also say it switches from the reader's POV to Aaron's occasionally, but I make sure you know before I switch! Anyway, here's part 1 <3

You were terrified.

And for good reason.

Aaron Hotchner was not the easiest person to win over, especially when it came to something as serious as keeping his son safe. After Jack's mother had been tragically murdered, his full intention was to keep Jack as safe as possible, and that meant finding someone to be with him full time. Jack had stayed with his Aunt Jessica for the first couple of months after he lost his mom, but Hotch was wanting to give Jack stability, and that meant sleeping in the same bed every night, routines, and someone that would always be around, even when Hotch was away with the BAU.

When Emily approached you about the job, you were hesitant, but not about being able to care for Jack. Children were a no-brainer for you. Sure, you didn't have any of your own, but that didn't replace the fact that you had spent the vast majority of your childhood caring for your mother's children in her absence. You knew if you were good at anything, it was taking care of people.

Aaron Hotchner made you... Nervous. While most of it was his demeanor, the majority of it was the undeniable instant attraction you had towards him. He was the definition of dark and mysterious, brooding and handsome. But you couldn't take back the excited "YES!" that escaped your lips a little too quickly about Aaron's interest in meeting with you, or the giddy smile that crept onto your face as you drove towards a most generic coffee shop near the BAU headquarters to meet with Hotch, this being the first time you'd ever been completely alone with him. You'd met him a handful of times at parties Emily hosted or invited you to tag along to, but never sat down and spoke with him face to face.

You weren't surprised to find him with his back to the wall, facing the entrance, a cup of coffee placed strategically on your side of the small table, while he quietly sipped his own. He hadn't spotted you yet, but you arrived a few minutes early, which gave you a spare second to admire the way he looked. He had one hand on his mug, and one stretched out on the table in front of him, statue still. His eyes were trained on his watch hand, no doubt to make sure you weren't going to make a bad first impression and be late.

"Right on time," he observed, watching you slide into your chair opposite of him, his eyes meeting yours as soon as you sat. His lips were pulled in a tight line across his face, making him nearly impossible to decipher. Emily had warned you of that, and you had silently been bracing for it ever since. You were a very emotional person; not in the sense that you cried constantly or anything like that. But you felt deeply, and that wasn't something you had ever been able to hide easily. Sure, you could keep your private life private, and you had plenty of secrets. However, when it came to your emotions, you held those on your sleeve, and you weren't afraid to share how you felt, or how someone else made you feel if the time was right.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here already, I actually got here ten minutes ago," you admit. It was true, but your paranoia about being late anywhere you went caused you to be embarrassingly early everywhere. You were working on it, but it allowed for plenty of time to get from point A to point B, and that's all that mattered to you. Hotch gave a small nod, motioning to the cup of coffee in front of you.

"I wasn't sure what you liked," he began, positioning himself to sit a little straighter as he spoke to you, "it's got cream and sugar."

"That's perfect, thank you," you replied, increasingly aware of Hotchner's eyes on you as you made sure the coffee was to your liking. You gave him a small thumbs-up, which earned an almost smirk out of him.

"Emily speaks very fondly of you. You two must be close," he observes, and while that's partly true, you refrain from telling him the reason why, for now anyway.

You nod your head, clutching your coffee to anchor you. Aaron's voice is deep, so deep that every time he speaks to you, you have to scold yourself, afraid you may say what's on your mind, and that would be messy.

"Yes, we are. I've known her for a long time. Since I was a young girl."

"You can't be older than what, 20? 21?"

You stared at him for a moment before you responded, confused by his general lack of knowledge about you.

"Wait, you didn't run a background check on me?"

He seemed taken aback, studying your eyes, perhaps for any sort of sign that you were joking.

"I didn't."

"That surprises me."

He laced his fingers together, leaning forward to place his elbows on the table. You start to worry he may be angry until he speaks again.

"Do you want me to be completely honest, Y/N?"

"Always. I prefer it, actually."

See the full post

332 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

Dilf alert.

361 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

404 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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trillgutterbug · 3 years ago

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tagged by @malewifemanhunter ty!!

name: trill q gutterbug, the q stands for queer

star sign: who knows or cares

height: 5'10, which means i can definitively say coffee doesn't stunt your growth, even if you start drinking it age 4

time: 9:38am 😓 i do NOT want to be awake rn but the rest of my family is gone atm so the grisly burden of letting the chickens out at ass o'clock fell to me. (eta it is now 12:13 bc i fell asleep for two hours before posting this)

birthday: the day laura ingalls wilder was wed

favorite bands/artists: of montreal, why?, clipping., and nine inch nails are the eternal faves i can't get sick of, but im also tremendously partial to kendrick and lil nas and hozier and mcr and twenty one pilots and the like. also i listen to a lot of chillhop and electroswing, because im a good person with good taste

last movie: i think mad god, which was fantastic and completely incomprehensible. i don't usually have the attention span to sit through a movie if im watching it alone, so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (eg, the way i still have to finish everything everywhere all at once, which i got an hour into last week, enjoyed tremendously, then got up to walk around and listen to a podcast and play a video game and jerk off or whatever the fuck, and just haven't gone back!)

last show: i believe the latest ep of what we do in the shadows.... or maybe sunny? or euphoria? whatever it was, i was watching it with jackie im sure!

when did i create this blog: idk where to find that info, but im p sure 2014, after LJ shat the bed and i dipped from active fandom for a couple months and when i came back it was like.... owo where'd everyone go?! here, apparently.

what i post: constant thirsty nonsense about a rotating string of fandom obsessions, shitposts, sometimes a bit of tumblr-brand anarchism and socialism bc even the junkfood buffet churns out a smidge of healthy caloric content every once in a while

last thing i googled: i don't use google but the last thing i duckduckgo'd was........ where's wade wilson from, bc i saw something that said vancouver and one of the movies implied regina but i swear to GOD i know it's winnipeg from some other source. results annoyingly inconclusive.

other blogs: @truelevelb1tch, my rick and morty side, which is going to pop off again in a MONTH (!!!!!!!!!) when s6 starts dropping 😱😱😱. i do not apologise for the person i become when r&m occurs, fair warning

do i get asks?: not enough to worry about, thank goodness

following: idk where to find that info either, but it's probably a few hundred, the vast majority of which are inactive at this point. i probably see <50 blogs on my dash??

average hours of sleep: like eight, which is NOT enough for me, but it varies wildly between 5 and 10 depending on what im doing for work on a given day/whether i have to get up early for animal-related reasons/if im up reading fic until 3am/time of year/blah blah

instruments: flesh flute....,,,

what i’m wearing: nuthin

dream job: I Do Not Dream of Labour

dream trip: i hate travelling! but i am partial to visiting my cousins' farm on the reg, so let's say that

nationality: canadian

favorite songs: the trapeze swinger by iron and wine has been my fave song for about ten years. it's almost ten minutes long and if stats across various laptops and ipods and phones could be collated, it would show a playcount in the thousands lol. i first heard it as the closing music on the amazing podfic for the inception fic presque vu and it gutted me on the spot. ode to the mets by the strokes is also on the same trajectory. otherwise, my fave songs come and go in the usual way, by liking something and listening to it repeatedly until i can't stand it. (eta: just went into my music app to see if i'd forgotten anything, and literally the only thing on my "most played" list is the trapeze swinger, so...)

last book i’ve read: currently reading (aside from the massive eternal stack of ww2 ref books) the half life of valery k by natasha pulley and grimscribe by thomas ligotti. most recently before that i read borne by jeff vandermeer, the kingdoms by natasha pulley, blood meridian, the d&d 5e player's handbook, and some postapoc scifi thing that was so forgettable i genuinely cannot conjure up the name of it or its author!!

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: idk, they all seem uniquely bad in ways that do not necessarily improve upon the unique ways in which our current universe is bad. but to be sporting i'll say star trek of course, anything jared harris is in bc i want to fuck him more than im afraid of space terrorists or freezing to death or nuclear radiation, and the fictional universe i've been manifesting in my imagination for years where we never invented agriculture and i died at birth for simplistic umbilical cord-related reasons

lowkey tagging @kaasknot, @collapsinghorizons, @mollynoble, @twobrokenwyngs, @pohjanneito, @lingua-mortua, @sloppyplanetary, @alakeeffectgirl, and @quiescentire

#meme

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