malevolentbutler

[malevolentbutler]

What’s your favorite joke?

❝ — I will admit that I am capable of telling quite the number of jokes —none of which my master are fond of, of course.

  —— Regardless of his distaste for them, I would be more than happy to humor you. Now then: Who in the Shakespearean world has slain the most chickens? ❞

❝ — Naturally, the correct answer is Macbeth, for he did murder most foul. ❞                                                                         

                                         The butler fails to suppress his growing grin.

[malevolentbutler]

[malevolentbutler]

National Library, Vienna, Austria

photo by sweet

[malevolentbutler]

“Black eyes, passionate eyes, ruby lips, dimpled cheeks, the moon, whispers,”

— Anton Chekhov, from The Complete Works of Anton Chekhov; “The Bear,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[malevolentbutler]

❝ — Now, then... 

   —— I do have a rather surprising number of inquiries left for me that have been left untouched for a considerable amount of time. It is only expected that these curious guests have since left the manor, but I shall take the liberty of tending to them nonetheless. ❞

[malevolentbutler]

His Butler, Returning

❝ — That was an incredibly lengthy absence... ❞

[malevolentbutler]

Colmar in Alsace, France (via vsco.co)

[malevolentbutler]

[malevolentbutler]

La pluie de vos injures n'atteint point le parapluie de mon indifférence.

[malevolentbutler]

[malevolentbutler]

he was so calm this morning

[malevolentbutler]

[malevolentbutler]

[malevolentbutler]

Sebastian, what were your... umh, feelings? when Madam Red GROPED your butt? Sorry.

❝ — …Ah. To put it plainly, it was a most troubling moment that I had the misfortune of falling victim to.

   —— Given my position as a mere servant, I was unable to move or speak. If the Young Master did not reproach her, I believe the Jack the Ripper investigation would remain unsolved to this day, given that I would remain in the drawing room waiting for her (rather aggressive) hand to cramp up. (Of course, I only jest…) ❞

[malevolentbutler]

Are you FULLY aware of how sexual you are?

❝ — My, my. Would you truly describe me as such?

    —— …You are most amusing. ❞

[malevolentbutler]

Windsor Castle, Queen’s Ballroom.

[malevolentbutler]

What's it like to swallow a soul? Is it something you can feel? Since souls are eternal, does it just...float around inside you forever? Or become "dormant?" Is the soul in pain? Can it feel anything after it's been separated from its body? I'm really sorry if this is a personal topic and for all the questions, I'm just very curious...

❝ — Goodness. You are quite the inquisitive guest…such incessant curiosity can be dangerous. ❞

❝ — Well then, I shall satisfy your curiosities respectively. Consuming a soul is no less than torturous for the human. From the screams, I imagine it is a sensation similar to having one’s insides scraped out from the throat. For the predator…the word “orgasmic” comes to mind. (Of course, I am referring to the sensation that a full stomach brings after being ravenous for many years.)

  Souls cannot be digested; they are eternal in the sense that they will exist so long as their predator exists…however, the satisfaction that souls provide is rather fleeting. Hunger is an insatiable greed, after all.

  Whether souls are in pain after consumption is beyond my knowledge. I am not too interested in the answer. Though, to satisfy your question, I imagine that they eventually reach a state of eternal rest, much like their vessels. In other words…they would be numb to all sensations. ❞