#i started ranting in the tags TWICE so im done now im just posting it

[eagle-head-charge]

TRANSPHOBES WILL NEVER BE TRUE PATRIOTS AND THEY'RE ALL TRAITORS TO AMERICA! I WILL BLOW THEM ALL UP! I HATE TRANSPHOBES!! AAGHAGHAGHGGG!!!!

[ramabear]

idk how long you wait between posting updates, but if youre that conflicted why not just post act 1 p1+2 and then wait until you finish whatever else until you continue posting? seems good to me, i dont think people will complain about having to wait for act 2 when the alternative is waiting until the original posting date. whatever u do i shall support :)))

i realize you sent me this ask in a way to show support and offer your opinion on posting trustfall but im kind of in a place where i needed to rant a little bit about things related to why im debating the timing on this so thats what this answer became.

its a combination of things that lead me to this back and forth on when to post and such. on the one hand, ive been trying really hard not to post things that arent finished yet (which would be so much easier if everything i started working on these days wasnt gigantic!) because i hate to disappoint and i hate that lingering feeling of half finished/abandoned things out in the wild that i already had to work through getting over with all the other stuff ive had to leave behind or that is unfinished.

on the other hand, i realize that finishing everything first means that, well, nothing gets put out regularly and so people forget about my writing and forget about me and i feel less engaged and less happy. also theres the looming fear of mortality that i'll not get too deep into but basically i fear not being around to post things too

then on this third hand, we have the goals that i set out for myself (other than the finish-before-post). last year the goal was reaching a million words (which i did) so this year the goal was to get to a point where i could post daily for a year. yeah, i realize its a bonkers goal. i still wanted to do it, though. and that combined with dont-post-until done left me in this lurch of like. not posting at all.

which is fine because i am generating content! i have lots of content. i have oodles of content. but ive been holding back because i dont want to post yet, until its done.

only it keeps growing. and growing. and fucking g r o w i n g in wordcount and complexity and because i've been focusing on trustfall, the smaller simpler things have gone a bit to the wayside.

anyway, i'm set now on posting this saturday (i prefer to post on the weekends so i dont obsessively check comments during my workday, i dont need more distractions) and i'm gonna work out the tags i'm using for the first part tonight so honestly all of this back and forth is really moot at this point. i am going to start posting and i'm going to post weekly until i run out of content. and probably i'll post twice a week a couple of times or i'll post another fic in the same week or something i dont know. i might reach halfway through the year in posting and just get fed up with waiting on the other stuff and start posting it too or i might get post happy around the holidays and post once a day until christmas

who the fuck knows, my dude, who knows

anyway. my head hurts, dinner is finally ready, i gotta figure out the tags and im gonna go pour myself a drink. thanks for the ask, and the support, the rewrite is certainly something and i hope it lives up to the hype. goodnight.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

tl;dr political rant post:

it had been my goal from 12 years old to do an arts degree in philosophy (yes what a nerd- thanks to my dad playing a Great Courses philosophy dvd one morning in 2007 and my dad always taking me to the botanic gardens/the uni some weekends).

i graduated from my arts degree in 2018, with a major in english and a minor in philosophy. i was so, so lucky to even get into my communications & media degree (at first i was originally going to do marketing communications, advertising & PR)... but i realised that i was not made for business subjects- despite my mark101 tutor telling me she thought i had knack for marketing- something under this policy that i wouldn’t undertake due to the price hike for commerce/business degrees. nor was i made for a media degree. so i changed to arts & humanities.

although under this atrocious policy, english subjects are made “cheaper”- why on fucking should the rest of someone’s arts/humanities degree be so much more expensive, all depending on the fields they choose???? so you’re telling me, if i was instead to enter undergrad this year to do my english degree... that my english major would be subsidised, but my philosophy minor would be at double the cost (along with the few first year business and communications&media subjects i did), unless i forced myself to pick maths or science subjects that i would most definitely fail, no matter how much work i’d put into them??? or there’s languages- but much like maths/science- there’s the problem with my handwriting that stopped me trying french and even japanese (ironically, since it’s know for its ~painstakingly neat and orderly~ script- but my handwriting is still messy, disorderly and confusing asf).

*please note that most of this next section is just me being highly spurious and cynical. it’d probably work out fine*

but you’re also telling me that under this policy that i’d also probably have to forego my reasonable adjustments in those subjects (yes i still have trouble with my handwriting to this day) mostly because a lot of software still won’t let you write out maths problems properly or i’d have to spend twice as long trying to get a graph to work in excel or idek matlab (please teach me maths nerds)???? and most maths working out is probably better handwritten or whatever??? and that’s besides the point that i still can’t use excel at all 😂.

so with these classes then, would i be battling from day one of first year with professors to let me use a computer during exam periods (unless of course they use online/take home exam methods like philosophy)???? probably (im being very suspicious here because i don’t know how science/maths etc faculties work).

although i did get this once with one particular english professor; who used the excuse that he didn’t know how to set a computer up for exams because he had been on “sabatical for 4 years” or whatever and so “didn’t know the policies anymore”.... so then according to him it was apparently “the students job to do it.... especially since you’re in third year, miss williams”..... however, i was promptly then told by EVERY uni offical that i approached for help to do it for me.... and my other professors across my course that had done it for me, that it was in fact the PROFESSORS job/responsibility to set it up, and not the student’s??? like. help your students fuckwit professor grant??? honestly. anyway. aside from my personal struggles in the english department: let’s proceed. (this was a real incident btw).

would i be at a significant disadvantage to other students by not being able to use a computer during maths exams or science exams because of the drawing of diagrams and graphs and “showing your working”???? hell yes. would i want the professors in that department to probably condescendingly telling me all the time to “present my work neater and more precisely”? FUCK NO. it’s exactly why i avoided every maths and science subject in undergrad- even including the astronomy subject that i wanted to do- because it also meant that fellow students had to read my handwriting for practicals etc as well, that i wasn’t entirely keen on either. but i did not need the harsh reminders of “be more precise and infallible in your work presentation” that i’d had at school constantly for 11 years of maths lessons; affecting my mental health and performance in a subject during a uni semester.

moreover, that’s besides the fact that i’d flat out fail the “year 12 band 4 maths” requirements- unless they want to waive those- for first year maths/science subjects (at least basing it on my local uni).... considering that i actually skipped out on maths completely in year 12 by doing a TVET/tafe/technical college course in live theatre, production and events (which no surprises here, actually included maths anyway 😅).

because, fuck. is ANYONE seeing a trend in my study choices here? hell, i almost did a commerce/business dual degree with a tafe diploma in event management for crying out fucking loud. and you’re telling me that’s also doubled in price?? it’s obvious that i was interested in the arts & humanities and business subjects from the get-go. but under this policy- i’d be charged double for having my interest in event management, instead of say, biology (which is a subject that if it weren’t for mark scaling in my final hsc exam- i would have failed completely)??? utterly ridiculous.

i even contemplated doing a double degree with law at one point (or doing a legal studies major/minor- which is now a course at my local uni, but was not while i was there). however, law course fees have also doubled under this new policy. leaving that out of reach for me, despite that a double degree with law was out of reach for me anyway..... since my mark average was 65% and not at least 75% lol. but as if those marks averages will actually matter under this new policy.

under this bullshit policy, i’d be forced to take science/maths or even teaching (another field i had to avoid, since people can’t read my writing on a whiteboard from a distance half the time either.... besides the fact that i’m not really the ~teacher type~) subjects- all so that my degree price overall will be ”reduced”..... meaning that i would have to trade out my philosophy minor for something in maths/teaching/science (or maybe creative arts- since those fees stayed the same roughly)... instead of sticking to what i was good at: philosophy and other humanities/social science fields like sociology and history????

i understand that many people will snub me with saying “oh why did you even BOTHER going to uni if you were THAT indecisive about what you wanted to do?” which is something i’ve seen many older people saying on posts about this policy. but hell, i was 19 FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN I STARTED UNI, FOR GODS SAKE. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO BE FUCKING INDECISIVE ABOUT MY DIRECTION IN LIFE! because, newsflash fuckwits: not everyone has a defined career goal at 19. hell, i still don’t have one at almost 25..... since i’ll admit here, that i flunked out of my postgrad library course.... because i realised that i simply couldn’t cope with learning simple HTML, CSS and javascript coding for website design & user experience design 😂 (again help me computer wiz friends). yes, believe it or not, librarians have to know that today. and most people think that it’s just all about books (okay that was me, but i was wrong). also, if you’re wondering: postgrad library courses aren’t affected, thank god. but my point is, aren’t we meant to fuck up and pick the wrong things in life sometimes??? aren’t we meant to be indecisive about our choices in our late teens up until our mid 20s???

but now you’re telling students that their very first year of uni is practically set out for them, even for arts/humanities degrees (im not counting properly prescribed degrees such as engineering/science/communications & media (they had prescribed majors and prescribed first year subjects, which is why i left it. because i felt trapped in the prescribed marketing et al major etc); all because the government is telling them that “oh to make your first year cheaper: (A.) get good marks.... so that we don’t cancel your HECS place and (B.) pick subjects outside of the arts/humanities like science/maths/tech related subjects so that you don’t pay a whopping $14,500 for your first year of uni and will be more likely to be “job ready”. whatever the actual fuck “job ready” really means. and this all as if there ISN’T enough pressure for a 18/19 year old to succeed in their first year of uni already.

although, the one thing i’ll say is that my one year advanced diploma in marketing that i did in 2014, was $16,500. i still haven’t made any moves to pay it off. but it was constantly in the back of my mind during uni, both undergrad and postgrad. it was there as a reminder to pick cheaper subjects, so as to not greatly increase my combined hecs debt and vet-fee help debt; which is now sitting at $42,500. which under this new policy is the new price of ONE arts & humanities undergrad degree. i’d hate to be going into uni next year at 19 years old (or any age really) with that price tag on my degree.

anyway. that’s the end of my non-sensical rant. morrison and the rest of the libs etc can go fuck themselves.

[socialismformilfs]

Mutual appreciation post

So a lot of people did one so here I am hoes

@jungkooksbuttons Hafsa there is no word to describe how much you mean to me, for real I could write a novel about how I feel about you but I’m sure you already know that with all the paragraphs I sent you mon cœur lol: did you know you’re the only person in my life that I wrote paragraphs for? That’s how much you mean to me. I don’t know you’re just amazing and you inspire me to try harder because I know that even if times get harder for both of us we got each back’s and i don’t plan on giving up now that i found you my other half: you’re so damn amazing like I can’t put it into words but you’re funny, pretty, thoughtful and I feel so comfortable with you?? It’s like we can do and say everything to each other without judgment and that’s something I never done before with anyone else but you, i also love how we’re both crackheads and we can talk for hours about nothing but still have fun somehow. Seriously you became such an important part of my life, I actually didn’t expect that when I first joined the gc but now I realized that was the best decision I made this year because I got to meet you. I have so much to say but I’m going to stop now because it’s not a Hafsa appreciation post djjdj seriously babe I love everything about you: your qualities and your flaws and nothing will ever change that

@bloomingjiminie I have so much to say about you didi oml i don’t even know where to start, you were the first person that talked to me in the gc and we got along so well?? I was chocked because I usually get hated easily lol but no with you, it was so easy it’s like you have a power to make people feel comfortable talking to you and that’s amazing, you’re amazing. Honestly I was a bit sad when we stopped talking for a while but then we did our gc and BAAM you became one of my closest friends and soulmate. I’m so glad I honestly made this gc because it brought me closer to you and the others. You’re an incredible writer and I have the best ideas with you and joking around with you is so easy because you have a great sense of humor so I’m not scared to say the dumbest things to you because I know you’ll end up saying dumb stuff too. You also know when to stop joking around and being caring to me when I feel upset and that means a lot. I love you chicken to my frog legs even if you clown me but it’s fair because I clown you too lmaoo

@chen-stans-are-the-best KERI you living legend and my partner in crimes, you’re so damn cool like everything about you is wow, you’re so sweet and loving but at the same time we know we can count on you if we’re in trouble to defend us. You laugh and put up with my dumbass like no one else and that means a whole lot because I know that it doesn’t make everyone laugh like it does with you and I tend to be annoying. I know we tease you a lot about you driving for example but you never get mad and that’s nice to know I can joke around without making you upset. Also you’re a genius, the ideas you create and the evil plan we did once was hilarious and wonderful to do with you. You’re a cutie (even if you say you’re not) and I love talking to you my soul sister because I know you’re here to listen if necessary. Even if I’m bad at expressing how I feel, I want you to know that I won’t leave this gc even if I get banned somehow because you guys became my family and you’re dear to me Keri, I love you (I wanted to make it dark purple cause it’s your favorite color but I don’t know if it’s dark enough lol)

@little-bunny-jungkookie Rae the queen of moodboards and my close friend, honestly you’re so friendly and creative and kind to me, I’m honored?? You’re an angel and I’m not joking even if you may disagree and I’m so happy you consider me as your friend. I know I can talk to you about serious situations without hesitation and go to you anytime to ask you for some advices and I’m forever grateful for that. You might have joined recently but it’s like we’ve been friends for a long time and I can talk to you in vc or send you random pics without thinking about it twice because you have such a comforting and peaceful presence for me, I know I can trust you. You may have flaws but know that it doesn’t make you less of a good person because your qualities have more impact on others than your flaws and your feelings are valid no matter what anyone say. You’re a great person and friend to me and I love you very much Rae and sorry I pronounced your name wrong at first djdj

@seokjinownsmyass My bro Mina, you’re so talented with what you write and we have so many moments together like the time we were teasing Simon and Dee about their “platonic” relationship was iconic or the whole thread we did with the « 🌚🌝 ». I love listening to you rant because that’s so cute (Raena is thriving) and it makes me feel closer to you, I’m happy you’re my bro and I know I joke around a lot and tease you but you’re really an important friend to me and I miss you a lot when we don’t talk. I care about you Mina and I’ll fight you if you doubt yourself because I love you so does Rae and others and you and your memes are the best so don’t ever think for a second that we’ll stop loving you bro because that won’t happen, I’m stubborn af after all. I hope you’ll join the vc soon tho I want to hear you voice Mina jkjk you don’t have to if you don’t want to

@killcomet Starlight, you’re so precious I literally can’t, you always tag me in cute things and I just melt because that’s how adorable you are and I appreciate it because it feels like you’re thinking about me even if we’re not talking that much lately so it makes me feel better and your voice is beautiful, I could listen to it for hours. You may say you’re annoying but that’s not the case hon: your flaws, your insecurities, your doubts, everything about you matters to me and don’t ever hesitate to text me because you might believe you’re annoying, personally it makes me happy to know I can be here for you and I’m always here if you want to talk Drew. I may not be physically present but I still will do my best to help you in any way. I love you and talking to you until 5 am was goal (Simon was here but he kept leaving so technically it was just the two of us dhdh)

@lofisapphic Bee omg you’re so fun to talk to you because we do so many icon things together first it started with the Simon protection club then the crush squad and finally the pickup lines war, I can’t I’m actually screaming everytime you send a pickup line to me jdjdjd im still surprised honestly we haven’t been banned but I’m not complaining. Also you’re so pretty like stop sis that’s not fair and you’re great because even if we have different opinions sometimes, we still respect each other and you’re very mature and respectful on a lot of subjects and that’s impressive, i stan. Anyway I love you and your gay panicking ass

@puppieseokie fay sis you’re iconic seriously, l miss you ranting about your girlfriend on the gc and I was kind of sad when you and bee left but it’s understandable. Your mind is a gift from the god seriously: you love hoseok and bts, you ship shrek and Yoongi and you’re a gay legend. I respect you ma’am and if you have cute moments with your gf, don’t hesitate to talk to me about it~

@simonbunnyjunior SIMON my French talking little bro, you’re the kinkiest person I met in a while but that’s goal honestly. You’re kind af and you do your best to help and make everyone feel better. You’re shameless but at the same time you’re still respectful so i live for that. ALSO the nickname you gave me is so fucking cute, I’m screaming. I admire you for not giving up even tho things are hard for you sometimes and I hope you know you can talk to me anytime if you feel like things are getting too difficult for you to handle. Love you

@bangtansoftboys Robin it’s been a while since the last time you were in the gc, I hope you’re okay and I hope you know that we’re joking when we’re teasing you because we’re crackheads anyway love you cute king~

@sundaetae Dee I own you a lot honestly because without you I wouldn’t have joined this gc so thank you so much and you were the first person I directly ever talked to so I think it’s cause of you I was able to not be shy anymore and I’m grateful for that Dee love u sis

@diamondjoonie Andrea hello~ i know we interacted like once but you sound like a great person to hang out with because the only time we talked we did memes and I wasn’t feeling awkward talking to you so if you ever feel like chatting again, don’t hesitate to message me

@busted-aesthetic MEL you’re so cool seriously, I know we just started talking recently but you’re so funny and you have like an aura that says don’t fuck with me cause I’ll hunt you down djjd talking to you until 6 am with mon cœur was hilarious especially when you guys started teaching me how to pronounce things correctly, iconic. Anyway I hope things get better and love you queen

@kingdomzeldaquest LOTTe my murderer and non-existent friend, I love our inside jokes that we had because now we can confuse others for no reason and that’s goal. You’re funny af and talking to you is nice because you’re an intellectual and your taste in music is great. Love you and don’t get arrested lmaoo

@spraklecrackle Thomas heyyyy i remember talking to you once? When we created the « Simon protection club » and you were super nice and you join the club so you’re a legend. We should talk sometimes and I saw you’re French too so hell yes French squad

@alien-the-magician Yasemin you’re so djdjjd literally you join the gc once in a year but everytime you’re here it’s hilarious for example the Dracula is your ancestor thing and when you were drunk lmaooo I love you and your drunk ass

@justramblingaboutthings HEYYY Raquel how are you? It’s been a while since I saw you, I miss screaming about Dia’s talent with you. Take care of yourself and hope you’re okay

[hazohazahazbro]

Long Day: Part I / Haz drabble

Pairing: Haz x Reader

Featuring: Harrison Osterfield

Warning: light smut

Request - I need more Haz smut babe

ok the smut i write is usually low key so please don’t expect this to be like total smut cause it probably won’t be

xx

The door shut behind you as you stepped into the apartment. Today had been a decent day at work, but your feet were killing you and you had slipped on the sidewalk. By standers were of no help, and the icy weather that hit Toronto was not friendly. 

“Ow,” the croak came out as you placed your bag on the floor. Your ass had taken the fall and now it ached every time you took a step. 

“(F/N)?” Harrison’s voice called from further in the apartment. You looked up from the floor and watched as your boyfriend came around the corner. 

“Hey, babe.” You attempted to smile but it came out as a grimace. Your body screamed as you stood straight, wincing and falling backward against the wall, only making your body scream further.

“Hey, woah.” Harrison moved swiftly as he came to stand beside you, his hands placing themselves on your waist, squeezing slightly - soothing your ache by the smallest. “Are you alright?” He asked, his eyes searching your face for the answer to your discomfort. 

“My body has taken a beating today.” You tried to laugh, but it came out as an uncomfortable choke and you stared up at Harrison in a disoriented smile. His brows furrowed in concern.

“What? Who was beating you? What?” He stared at you, first in concern and then in disbelief and worry. “Who was it (F/N)?” He asked again. Your hand found his shoulder and you gave it a weak squeeze.

“No, no.” You said, cutting of his questions. “My shoes suck, and I slipped on the sidewalk.” Harrison’s expression softened back to concern. 

“I see now.” His voice was light as he started to move his arms around your waist further, and then somehow maneuvered themselves to take off your wet jacket. It came off easily, though you tried your best to not move as many muscles as you could. “My clumsy girl, what’re we gonna do with you?” He asked, with a small laugh.

“Tie me to a bed post.” You blurted out in a mumble. Harrison stopped his movement of helping you to the living room and stared down at you. Your eyes, which were wide in disbelief, stared back at him.

“What?” He asked.

“What?” You answered. Both of you staring at each other with the same, confused expression. 

“Did you just-?” Harrison started.

“No, nope.” You shook your head, which made your spine start to freak out. You grimaced once again, making Harrison stare back down at your aching body.

“Huh, right. Okay,” he huffed, shaking his head. “Do you want a massage? I feel like that might help.” He suggested. Your head turned from a shake to a nod.

“Oh, yes please.” You agreed as Harrison wrapped his arms around you, lifting your feet from the floor. One arm was under your legs and the other supported your back. Harrison carried you through the hall and to the living room, placing you slowly onto the couch. It ached in your buttocks and you were pretty sure that he could tell.

“Wow, you must’ve really fell.” Harrison commented, his hands no longer touching your body and you became oddly cold. 

“Well, the gravity hates me.” You said sarcastically, glaring at the couch before looking back up at your boyfriend.

“What happened? He cheat on you?” Harrison queried, giving you a pouty look.

“No actually. And what’s with sexualising gravity?” You asked. Harrison raised his hands in defense.

“Woah, no sexualising over here. It was just a comment-” You snorted, making Harrison look at you and glare.

“You’re such a pain in my ass.” He said with a smile. 

“The only pain is in my ass, which needs to be tended to.” You whined, making Harrison laugh further. 

“Okay, love.” He said. Harrison moved toward you as you lay awkwardly on the couch. He maneuvered your body so you could lay on your side, your legs on his lap, and his hands on your waist - which instantly soothed that part of your body. 

 The TV had been playing The Office the entire time, and you could finally zone in on what was happening. Harrison’s hands worked themselves slowly against your body, making you close your eyes at the feeling. His hands always brought you some sort of comfort. They were much bigger than yours, soft, yet manly. In there large, manly way, they were gentle against your butt. Harrison worked from one side of your body to the other, the best he could as you laid on your side. Soft moans came from you, without you even realizing it. 

“(F/N),” Harrison mumbled. You turned your head at his voice, hearing the groan that came with it. His eyes were glowing blue as he stared down at you. 

You knew what he was going to say, you could feel him underneath your legs. Your body was feeling like it was floating from the massage, but you knew it wouldn’t be long before Harrison caved into your moans. His own groan of your voice made you feel the ache in a different spot of your body.

“H-how about a bath?” Harrison asked. His voice was deep and you could hear his want in it. 

“A bath? Yeah.” You answered, your body agreeing immediately to the thought. 

“Yeah? Great, I’ll go run the water.” Harrison said, leaning over to kiss your forehead, and giving your butt one last squeeze. You laughed at the feeling before Harrison left the couch and jogged to the bathroom. Your eyes watched him, enjoying the site of his backside. He was so lean to you, since you were so short. 

Your boyfriend returned in five minutes, his face lit up in a dorky smile. He didn’t say anything as he helped you to your feet. Your body ached as he helped you to the bathroom.

“I feel so crippled.” You whined, making Harrison laugh. His laughter vibrated from beside you, his one arm wrapped around the backside of your body, bringing support to your body.

The two of you made your way into the bathroom, the steam that rose from the hot water brought you a new feeling. Harrison’s arms continued to hold onto you as he undressed you. Your eyes watched him intently as he did so. 

Harrison watched you with intense blue eyes as you crawled into the tub. It was one of those large jet tubs that could probably fit five people. You weren’t exactly sure why your boyfriend bought an apartment with such a big bath, but at a time like this - you weren’t going to question him. 

As you slowly sunk into the soothing bubbles, Harrison raised a questioning brow at you, making you bite your bottom lip.

“Are you going to join me?” You asked, peering up at Harrison with wide eyes. He visibly gulped. 

“Y-yes.” He stuttered. Quickly, hastily, he undid his buttons on his shirt and pulled off his pants. You watched him in all his nudity as he climbed into the hot water with you. 

Harrison sat across from you, the both of you breathing heavily as the hot water still rose from the tap and the steam enveloped the bathroom. His legs brushed yours lightly, sending tingles up your leg and to your spine. You couldn’t feel the ache in your butt anymore. From the massage to the hot water, all of your pain had eased and now all you wanted was him.

“Why haven’t we done this before?” Harrison asked curiously. His eyes scanning the bubbles. You stared at him in adoration. The steam had matted his hair to his forehead and you had a glimpse of him on top of you.

Shaking your head from your dirty thoughts, you swatted the bubbles in front you. “I don’t know. It never really crossed my mind.” 

“There’s jets.” Harrison said, peering at the tubs button system. “Do you want jets? It might help your soreness.” He added, turning to admire you for a moment. You nodded your head slowly, wondering how this would turn out. 

You thought on that for a moment while Harrison played around with the tub system. You never really thought of bath tub sex. You’d heard of shower sex, and once or twice you and Harrison had showered together - but never really got far enough for shower sex. It mostly was in the bedroom and sometimes the living room, and once in the kitchen. Not that you meant for that to happen. Really. But both of you liked to keep it away from the bathroom. Since your bathroom was small and kind of reminded you of an airplanes bathroom, it never really brought you into the ‘mood’. 

But now, you sat in a bunch of hot bubbles, with your wet, naked boyfriend across from you. 

The jets suddenly turned on with a small “Aha!” From Harrison. The feeling brought another wave of relief through your body and you enjoyed every second of it. Harrison sat back down across from you.

“I didn’t think this through, because wine would go very good with this right about now.” Harrison stated, displaying his empty hand and fake-drinking wine. It made you snort, and you tried to cover it up with a cough but failed miserably. 

He smiled over at you, his legs brushing yours once again. The feeling once again struck you with a new feeling. It was something about a bath with your significant other that brought this over whelming feeling to you. 

“What?” Harrison asked, his smile was still delicately placed on his soft features. It melted you further into the tub. You were devoured by so many feelings you couldn’t think straight.

You didn’t bother answering Harrison as you crossed the tub. The jets were still on full blast and it only made more bubbles. Harrison’s eyes widened as you reached him. Your body hovered over his and without warning, your lips crashed into his. He reacted instantly. His hands found your sides and pulled your body against his. It was something new to the both of you and it was exhilarating.

uhm so im ending it there. its like not even smut but im like dead ass tired and if you want a good smut then i gotta be more awake. 

so please hold out until my part II thanks.

really tho. i’ve ranted this whole thing. its garbage and im so sorry.

xx

Prompt List I: (x)

Prompt List II: (x)

MASTERLIST: (x)

Tag List:

@tomsleftbrow @tomsbeb @captainaudreystark @castellandiangelo @1022bridgetp @artberries @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @rock-n-roll-queens

[sanhatation]

ri’s thicc 2017 reflection post !

its still quite a few hours away from 2018 for me but i just wanted to take this time to reflect on my absolutely Lovely 2017!!! yay time 2 get sappy as i word vomit and overshare about my year on tumblr.com !!!!

thank you loads to all of my LOVELY followers !!!!!!!!! yall are the cutest, make my day on the daily ! i wish you the best 2018 that the world can offer !!! stay healthy, take time for yourself, love yourself, love others, and be kind! 💓💓

this Riley Rant here, is gonna be here for me than anything. like a Fat journal entry !! and i am an Oversharer so here she goes [jeopardy music]

to begin, i have met and befriended so many amazing people on here this year and WOW!!!!!! lovely and supportive and talented, beautiful aroha friends??? it doesnt get better than that!!!!! i would attempt to tag all of u but yall know who u are ;)) im endlessly grateful to those of you who have really made being on here worth it. heck ya sometimes im like “why do i even spend time on here” but then!!!! idk sunny comes swingin in with just a heart full of love or sara comes swingin in with her eggs or marian comes swingin in with her rare pairs or j comes swingin in with her baking posts and thats not even HALF of it !!!!! seriously.....love you guys tons.

to my friends who i have had the pleasure of remaining your friend this year and getting closer to u !! i love you. i really dont know how yall handle me especially 2015/2016 me?? a MESS! yall are the REALEST. again, yall know who u are ;)) i hope we can continue to talk and have fun in 2018, i wish yall the best. 

and lastly....heres a THICC shoutout to my six shining stars. 

as for me as an individual, 2017 was a freaking Whack year. it was incredible....dare i say, iconic. and now its time for.....RILEY’S 2017 HIGHLIGHTS !!!!!! (also includes: the sucky parts bc even those allowed me to grow !)

- man, did 2017 start out pretty rough when my country decided it was a good idea to elect a freakin cheeto for president. however! i had the lovely opportunity to attend the women’s march at my capital the day before inauguration !! and it was powerful!!!! truly an experience ill treasure forever!

- binch....thank u Winter Dream for my whole life. tbh i wont forget sobbing at my best friend’s house when it dropped. thank u Miss Again Dance Practice. thank u Miss You & Me MV. thank u Miss Cotton Candy Choreography. thank u. 

- ah.....when some pinhead started that tr*mp chanting at a basketball game lol! so iconic that we made the new york times! gotta love that....

- OMG !!! HOW TO SUCCEED !!!! an absolutely amazing experience. granted, the male lead was a Snake, but i had a blast. Rosemary will forever be close to my heart and ill always cry a little when i hear Brotherhood of Man or Paris Original !! such an awesome opportunity. i learned a frick ton about myself as a performer. i improved a ton in acting and dancing, and also came to learn that i am very good at receiving instructions and memorizing lines quickly. i learned that i need to work on some of my facial expressions and i also learned some of my habits ! i miss u Queenie H2$ :’’)

- had my first tap dance performance ever??? i really enjoyed learning tap, and i hope to pick it back up in the future !!!!

- BIIIIIINCCH i had the opportunity to visit my sister in korea!!!!!!! wow.....truly the BEST week of my entire year, maybe even LIFE! i went to the dog cafe, the sheep cafe, mcountdown, the lunar festival kick off, gwanghwamun palace, dongdaemun, shopped a ton around hongdae, ate food by the han river, visited namsan tower (but not without getting lost), hit the noraebang TWICE, walked into a private Fantagio board meeting, ate delicious chicken on a STIIICK, ran in the rain, ordered delivery mcdonalds, had the BEST fried chicken, met a bunch of monks, was led around dongdaemun by a very old korean man, SAW EUNWOO AND DOYEON AND RECEIVED MUCH LOVE AND NEARLY DIED, hit the convenience store literally every day, snuck out, GOT A WAVE FROM KEY :((( , bought Winter Dream and lots of skin care products and lots of cute clothes, had the clearest skin ive ever had in my life, went to a buddhist temple, witnessed a drunk man fall into the splits inbetween the ground and the subway, ran up and down 1000 subway stairs, fell in love with a man named Peanut, drank too much banana and strawberry milk, sobbed my face off at the festival as korean grandmas bowed to me, tried tons of new foods (including the nastiest bowl of cheese ramyun ive ever had in my life), bought lots of socks, rode an airplane for......like 40 hours in total? literally the best week of my Life

- had my junior vocal recital ! it was a cute girl. i felt my acting had really improved since sophomore voice recital !! 

- had prom on my 17th birthday and had a jolly good time !!! my mom made my dress and i felt like a Stunner

- dream pt. 01...she rly is that Bad Bih. best era. miss her loads. none of us ever deserved her. 

- les mis !!!!!! two whole weeks.....another Best Time. i learned so much, made so many lifetime friends, had a blast, sang my heart out.....such a freaking good time. i miss her

- got to spend the ENTIRE summer with momo!!!!!!!!!!! literally the ENTIRE!!!!! and what did we do? hit the park, watched lemonade mouth and fantastic beasts and starstruck and that random unicorn movie, made the Best slime, made that ICONIC weki meki video, laughed a ton, cried a ton, stayed up all night for the sunrise, stayed later for the sunset & thunderstorm, walked home in the pouring rain & lightning (IT IS VERY WET), went to the beach, met many dogs, got me hairs cut, befriended that Cat, and went to a painting class

- cabin week !!!!!!!!!!! whatta lovely time

- my brother’s wedding !!!! honestly? my best outfit of the year... had a bangin time. his wife is truly a cutie and i love her tons!

- there was that Mess in august and i still feel sorry to those who felt hurt because of it. i learned a lot about how things especially on the internet can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted, so u gotta be EXTRA careful with your words ! 

- through that i also came to accept that u cant get everyone to understand or like u, and tbh that is okay for now. all we can do when we make mistakes is try to understand & learn, apologize, and try to better ourselves. and sometimes even when u do that, u still may not be liked. and thats okay. as long as you are trying your best and recognize mistakes, its all good. 

-skinny dipped at girls time wow what a freaking TIME

- woah dude i dropped out of my arts school lmao!!! the BIGGEST change in my life since 2014.;..wow! i dont even have the words to say how much stress was lifted off of me and i love senior yr !!!!

- momo came to CT!!!!!! 

- seeing svt live !!!!! but tbh the best part was seeing momo, “I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN SEW”, “I!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JIHOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, “IM UNDERAGE”, and when Mo BLASTED to that other line

- LAKE COMPOUNCE LMAOOOOO I LOVE JIHOON PT2!!!!

- my mom, sister, and i took an eight week painting class! i finished two paintings and learned a ton!! honestly a good time

- dream pt. 02.....shes that other Bad Bih....absolutely adore her

- i also learned that its okay to cut people off who are toxic. especially if you have already informed them that they make u feel bad, they are not worth trying to please or keep around. take care of yourself. similarly, its okay to block people, and you dont owe them an explanation

- MADI CAME HOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my other half...missed her so much :(((

- riley’s calligraphy christmas !!!!! was so much fun and i loved people’s reactions and i loved learning arohas favorite astro lyrics !!!

- ah...............one of the hardest weeks of my whole life. the pain still lingers, and i know itll hit me again like a boulder the next time we see only four of my angels standing on stage. for four months, i was worried sick about another member, and i even knew he was hurting, that his mental illness was real. my heart aches and there is a piece of it missing, but it will never be replaced. i know you are much happier now, jjong. i love you. 

- and also because of that, i have been able to think a lot about how i live my life. thoughts like ‘am i watching out for my family and friends enough?’ ‘am i listening enough?’ ‘is this funny comment worth it?’ ‘am i happy?’ im trying to be better. to not take things for granted, to only be kind, to always be there for those i love, for those who love me. and i will try my hardest to not complain about small or petty inconveniences. to try harder to be optimistic. 

- christmas was with my whole family for the first time in five years ;;; she was such a cute girl!

and now on to the next act !!!! its called RILEY’S NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS !!!!!!!!!! 

1. lets start with the basic stuff that im 99% not gonna pull through on: keep ur room clean. keep everywhere u go clean, it makes mom upset. eat better, u know there is other foods in this house besides peanut butter and pepperoni and popcorn. 

2. send out at least one Lovely Ask per day. i made this goal sometime over the summer, and i did it for a few months until i started to forget ;; its not that hard, u just gotta remember to do it !! 

3. sis.....quit Procrastinating.......GET ur FREAKING application done...do ur homework the night before lmao! call who u need to !!! write those thank u cards!!!! go get them scholarships!!!! enter that graphic design contest lmao!!! just DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! time is wasting

4. just be happy 

[bfknj]

tags masterpost (?)

I was tagged in a few tag games over the past few days and instead of posting them all separately I decided to just put them all on one! If I tagged you feel free to do any or all of these (including people who tagged me!!) As always, don’t feel any pressure to do any, I just think these are fun and wanted to share :)

- - - - 11 questions tag - - - -

Rules: 1. Make sure to post the rules!! 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people

these questions are from @moonmyun !! michaela you had me stRUGGLIN OKAY YOUR QUESTIONS WERE HARD but ily still bless you for the tag you angel :”)

1 who is your bias group? why?

BANGTAN SONYEONDAN AKA MEME SQUAD !!!!!!! honestly they just make me so beyond happy wow holly nobody ever says that about their favs ur original a LOOOT of music is centered around love these days and not to say bts doesn’t do that with a lot of their music but they also tackle a lot of societal issues and I really respect them for that. From 21st century girls w politics, spring day mv and the ferry sinking, suicide in the I need u mv and many other things I feel like they take risks for the sake of portraying what they hold true to their hearts/morals not necessarily what will sell best and I can’t name many other groups who do that as well :( also my boys cute af I love those dweebs IM SO WHIPPED HAH

2 which kpop video do you find the most aesthetically pleasing?

this is hard :(( idk my number one but I really like seventeen hip hop unit’s check in, red velvet’s one of these nights, ladies code’s galaxy, kim lip of loona’s eclipse and crush’s fall ! they don't all match my aesthetic but I feel like they match the songs really well!!! watch them okay 3/5 of them are hELLA UNDERRATED bye

3 if you could instantly learn one choreography, what would you pick?

something by either gfriend or bts?? love whisper or not today or blood sweat tears?? OOOH or red flavor by rv!! tbh though I’m really skinny so my limbs look weird af with a lot of dances rip

4 who do you look up to as a role model (in the kpop community or not)?

there’s no person in particular that really sticks out but I will say I’ve always admired jungkook, and really all trainees for that matter, who leave their families to start training really young because its a process thats hard physically, emotionally and mentally for late teen/early twenties trainees but there’s sO many kids who enter in their pre-teens and idk how they survive also I realized this doesn’t answer your question at all I'm sorry its 1:28 AM I’m just waiting for the DNA mv to drop

5 whose concert would you go to if you could and why?

DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 DAY6 !!!!! THEY INVENTED LIVE SHOWS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS or shoot maybe dean or crush or heize?? I LOVE TOO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE also I would say bts but although there are countless amazing beautiful armys there are def some crazy scary ones that are known to be horrible at concerts so

6 if you could pick one idol to be best friends with, who would it be and why?

OK YALL IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT IN MY DAILY LIFE SO S/H TO MICHAELA FOR ASKING ILY either boo seungkwan or ahn heeyeon!! I feel like hani would be so fun to have girl time with bc I feel like we’re really similar in some ways ?? IDK I LOVE HER bUT overall I’d say boo seungkwan because istg we are 100000000% the same person only he has a weenie ok just trust me I am boo and boo is me

7 would you want to be a part of a kpop group if you had the opportunity to be?

I’d absolutely love to be in the entertainment industry and I think the staging, costuming, group dynamics and publicity (variety shows, fan service/interations) in the kpop industry are all really cool but I honestly don't think I have the mental strength to do it lmao idols go through so much and I don’t think I could handle it regardless of how much I enjoy singing/dancing/performing etc.

8 what languages do you speak, and which do you want to learn?

english and some spanish??? I understand a lot because quite a bit of my family speaks it but my conversational skills have gone downhill recently because I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice :( with that said, I’d like to be fluent in spanish and - BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME READ IT ALL OK - I’d like to learn korean BECAUSE!!!!! when I was little before I moved I would go to a farmers market by my house and a lot of the older ladies there spoke korean and little holly though it sounded so pretty and I always wanted to chat w them ok THATS WHY I’m not a creepy koreaboo this has been a thing since before I even knew what a kpop was ok bye 

9 what song cheers you up when you’re sad?

fire by bts bc I get hella turnt to that song its a pROBLEM also jackpot by block b, baby/puss in boots by astro, chained up by vixx, not today/bst by bts, knock knock by twice, i think I love you by sonamoo THE LIST GOES ON I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OK

10 what things do you associate with your bias?

dimples!! pretty hands, closing one eye in selcas, ootds, happiness so cheesy ik sORRY, ryan, studying, awkward dancing, open mouth laughs, second hand embarrassment, sentimental rants

11 what’s your favourite thing to do in your free time?

cry over namjoon tbh I’m one of those people who is constantly listening to music so I’m always doing that and singing along regardless of if its free time or not HAH then I really like reading and catching up on my youtube subscriptions

my questions!

what is your dream job?

favorite book of all time?

what is your current fashion like and what is your dream fashion?

if your best friend was cloned, how would you know which one of the two was your best friend?

what song got you into kpop?

which idol do you think is most similar to you?

favorite kpop lyrics?

if given the opportunity to collaborate with any group/soloist of your choice, who would you choose and why?

what is your favorite physical and character trait of your ult?

which underrated groups/soloists do you believe deserve more recognition? any song recs?

do you read fanfics? if so, what are your favorites?

- - - - song title game - - - -

I was tagged by @kihani, your song choices were 12/10 

rules: spell you your url with kpop songs and tag ten people! (all of these happen to by song recs too so listen nd be happy friends)

mysterious - hello venus

i think i love you? - sonamoo (a fav ok listen pls)

life in color - beenzino

knock - knk 

jelly - hotshot

only u - daze

out of sorts - vixx

night rather than day - exid

she’s a baby - zico

- - - - get to know me tag! - - - -

1ST RULE: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true. tagged by @sleepysugarmoon, thank you friend!! APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses (or contact lenses) I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people  People tell me that I’m funny   Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument  I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month Fandoms are my #1 passion  I do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

tagging some mutuals bc ily and why do you even follow me I'm a wreck tbh OK i tag: @kihani, @21jd, @lapatronakim, @94seulqi, @gayoongi, @springdqy, @medina-kim, @15minss, @je0n, @cottontae, @taebaeul, @booty-baekery, @lalisl, @babekhyun, @voidpjm and anyone else who wants to try any or all of these!! 

[derp-fox-ok]

Rant time! Ok so basically i knew my dad was emotionally abusive but i couldn't pick out exactly how until now. He has done ALL of this. I by that i mean ALL. MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN. He has threatened to take my devices (and has!), constantly asks what I'm doing when i head out, and he still has the audacity to say he wants the best for me.

He has taken my phone away form me because I couldn't talk to people around me (selective muteness)

he has taken my laptop because I wanted to lay in bed all day because i "wasn't awake" even though i was very much woken by his yelling

he has threatened to take down my fairy lights that I PAYED FOR MYSELF

he also said that he was going to take down my door because i closed it cause i wanted privacy

ALSO everytime i went out with my friends he would ask "where are you going? Who are hanging out with?" etc

When I found Virgil (rescued kitten) i had to tell him where i was and he got upset with me when I WAS ON THE OTHER STREET OVER

I have to resort to creeping out the back door now so i dont have to answer an questions

I also have to hide in my room every night because if he finds im awake he will YELL AT ME and im only awake because of my depression

He also thinks im like just being dramatic when i dont want to get out of bed

I have to force myself to go to school most days because i ABSOLUTELY cant tell him i need a mental health day

I dont even feel comfortable when im in the same building with him if my mom isn't present (my brother is basically invisible)

He also tells me to stop acting when im expressing myself

Let me make that clear:

HE GETS ANGRY WHEN I FINALLY ACT MYSELF AND DONT FAKE SMILES OR LAUGHER BECAUSE HE THINKS I NEED TO AND I QUOTE "Separate my internet life from my social life" LIKE BITCH MY INTERNET LIFE IS MY IRL LIFE. YOU ARE THE ONE NOT ACCEPTING ME

He also says he'll accept me but still calls me by my dead name (only correcting himself like 1 or 2 times out of the many times he calls my name) and even though i told him im non-binary and i use they/them and sometimes they/he and rarely they/she he still uses she/her pronouns for me

Also he gets mad at me when i wake up in the middle of the night because he FUCKING BLASTS HIS COMPUTER UNTIL THE FLOOR VIBRATES

And yall wanna know what else? Hes like walking on eggshells. I had a toxic relationship like that and i know hes toxic. He also doesnt do this with my brother? He keeps his boundaries (it could be cause hes 4 years older then me??)

Hell most the time i don't know if im being dramatic or if hes actually toxic as hell! Hes gotten me to my mind set i had when i was in a toxic relationship! I literally thought that if i say no or call him out on anything i will get punished! I started not being the "quiet kid" and "pushover" this school year and some people are SURPRISED!! INCLUDING HIM!!!

When I move out i am cutting all contact from him. Also sometimes i just want to delete him number, block him, and get him away from my life.

If i ever get married or hell even throw a bday party for myself i will CERTAINLY not invite him

He literally loves Virgil more then me. Its obvious. He is so loving for her, but when it comes to me? He hardly bats an eye.

He is so like suspicious of @lazykarma11 (yes gonna tag you in this) and my other friends and he has no reason to be! Michael is the kindest person I know and has only treated my dad with the utmost respect for him. (Not anymore cause he treats him like shit) MICHAEL LITERALLY WISHED HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HE JUST KINDA SEEMED MAD???

Sorry for this long rant and sorry @lazykarma11 for tagging you twice now

Just know that my father is a huge contributor to my anxiety/depression and he is very abusive emotionally (will make a whole post telling about hatred for him)

So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog

[kaitymccoy123]

Upside Down (part 1)

Intro: Hello and welcome to Kaity’s heart in post form.  If you need me, I am currently 600 kilometers deep in the Scotty trashcan, with no sign of escape (not that I want to).  So please enjoy all my feelings out in the open.  This fic ended up being 7,500 words long so I split it up into multiple parts.  Some are long, some are short.  All are good.  I hope. 

Pairing: Scotty x reader (and best friend!Jim Kirk)

Word Count:1,454

Warnings: totally 100% fake engineering everything, (I was too lazy to actually come up with proper terms so I just made up words), eventual injury, swears.

Summary: So basically the starting point for this fic was Scotty x reader who loves engineering as much as he does.  So that’s where I went with this fic.  You are second-in-command engineer and Scotty one day ends up being in charge, much to your chagrin.  You butt heads.  Scotty gets hurt.  Feelings get hurt (mostly my own).  Welcome to my trashcan.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

-Enjoy!-

“So you’re saying you would never have sex with me.”

“James Tiberius Kirk if you were the last person on earth I would copulate with a turtle before I even considered you.” You deadpanned, strapping your tool belt to your hips as you got ready to leave and turned to the frowning Captain who was leaning against the door frame. 

“Really funny.” Jim griped sarcastically, and you sauntered up to him, swinging your hips in just the right way, and you saw his eyes fall and he shook his head. 

“It’s only funny because it’s true, Jimbo.” You reached up and slapped his cheek twice, flashing a million dollar smile before pushing past him. 

“You know, this means I owe Uhura 5 bucks.” Jim called as you made your way to the engineering room. 

“That’s your own fault, you idiot.” You called back, laughing as you turned down the next hallway, finally out of his sight.  

“Hey, Bobby!” You shouted as you entered the automated doors, instantly smiling at the comforting smell of metal and sound of whirring machinery. 

“Lass, what’s with all the yelling?” An unfamiliar voice sounded from somewhere in the room and you leaned over the railing to look down and saw a man in a red shirt looking up at you. 

Suddenly, a hard hand clapped you on the shoulder and you nearly jumped out of your skin.

Spinning around you saw Jim again and scowled, taking a few deep breaths to calm your nerves. 

“Yeah, Bobby doesn’t work here anymore.” Jim said matter-of-factly. 

Your jaw fell open in disbelief, “What!?”

“He had to take sudden leave for… reasons, and this is his replacement.  Get up here Scotty!” Jim yelled and you continued to look at him incredulously. 

You heard heavy footsteps climb the metal stairs and saw this new man emerge from behind Jim.  

“Aye, Jim, I’m in the middle of re-calibrating the central system, whichever lunatic was here last converted the quantum regulator so it only picks up certain wave lengths…” The man started, his hands waving wildly and his thick accent made it hard to understand him, you assumed Scottish.

“The ship only needs to read the wave lengths that it could actually come across.  The settings before were set to pick up literally any wavelength, and it was using way too much power.” You interrupted, spinning on the man, your hackles raised at the newcomer. 

“Well what if ye come across IgT-3 wavelength?  Huh?  How are ya gonna go about picking tha’ up?” The man started, stepping towards you. 

“Well since that wavelength doESN’T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE, I can say we’re pretty safe.” You snapped, your hands tightening into fists. 

“It’s a wavelength, lass, not a damn unicorn!” The man argued and you were about to rip into him when Jim stepped in between you two. 

“Alright!  That’s enough, you two, you’re going to have to be working together, so you better cut it out!” Jim yelled, but he had a weirdly pleased look on his face. 

Jim turned and stepped to the side, indicating to the yelling Scottish man, “Y/N, this is Montgomery Scott, our new chief of engineering.  And Scotty,” Jim gestures to you now, “This is Lieutenant Y/N, who was Bobby’s right hand down here for the past two years.”

You reluctantly nodded at Scotty, the defensiveness you felt from before fleeing from you as you took in the older man.  He had wispy red-brown hair, brown eyes, and a furrow to his brow that looked like it was permanently part of his face.  Overall, he was quite handsome if not soft-looking, like a little bear cub, and you cursed yourself for thinking so as you had just screamed at him.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I do have to get back to running this ship.” Jim said, “Can I trust you guys not to kill each other for at least the rest of your shifts?”

Jim didn’t even let you or Scotty respond before he clapped his hands together, “Good!”

You scowled at Jim as he walked out and he looked back, giving you a wink before disappearing behind the automated doors.  

Turning now to Scotty, who was looking at you like you had a third eye, you gave him a weak smile. 

“Guess we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.” You shrugged. 

“I guess so.” Scotty stuffed his hands into his pockets and swung on his heels. 

“We don’t need the EL4-R wavelength detector either.” You said, meeting his eyes with a flash of amusement. 

“Well ye better have a good explanation for tha’, lass, because I am pretty stubborn.” Scotty gave you a smirk before turning and walking down the metal stairs, you quickly following behind him, beginning to heatedly defend the system you and Bobby had worked so hard to develop.  

“What are you staring at me for?  Am I doing something ‘wrong’ again?” You growled as you turned to Scotty and straightened out your shirt, throwing on your worst glare. 

It was a week into working with Scotty and things were not going well.

“You’d be much better off making those changes from th’outside, using the computer, rather than crawling up in there, ye might get stuck.” Scotty noted, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow as he took in your grease-covered appearance. 

“You calling me fat, Mr. Scott?” You leered, pulling off your gloves slowly. 

“N-no, not at all, I jus’…” He sputtered, clearly taken aback by the question. 

“I went in because a belt was loose, and that is not something you can fix from the outside.” You explained, your voice threaded with bitterness, and stalked back to your workstation, Scotty right on your heels. 

“Lass, if we’re going to work together you’re gonna have t’stop being so… SO…” Scotty ranted and you spun on him, fury filling your veins. 

“What?!  Stop being so what, Mr. Scott?”

“SO DAMN INSUFFERABLE!” Scotty exploded, his arms flailing and his stance became defensive. 

“Mr. Scott, this is my ship, and it has been my ship for the past two years, so if I seem insufferable, it’s because you are on MY turf, trying to change the things that I programmed MYSELF.  It borders on insulting.”

“Lassie, half of the things yer able to program on this ship wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me.”

“Well I’m sorry your such a traditionalist, then, because TIMES CHANGE, OLD MAN!” You didn’t mean to call him old, but the insult just slipped out and you tried to apologize immediately, “I-I, didn’t mean that, I’m sor-”

“Get out.” Those two words made you snap your mouth shut with a click of teeth.  

You looked up to see Scotty’s expression was impassive and unreadable, his stance straight an unforgiving as he spoke, "Your shift is done for today.  You are dismissed.“

"I-I…” You were speechless, you never expected him to get this angry.

But as you met his eyes and saw how serious he was, your anger was renewed. You weren’t going to let him treat you like a child, and if he wanted you to leave, so be it.  You stalked passed him, grabbed your jacket, and you left, fairly sure that steam was coming out of your ears.

“Jim, he is intolerable, impossible, I-I can’t work with him.” You seethed, nearly crushing the glass that you held between your fingers. 

“You and him are exactly the same.” Jim chuckled, nursing his own drink, and you wanted to wipe the smile off his face. 

“We are not.  You can’t tell me I am half that stubborn." 

"If anything you are double as stubborn as he is.  Try to get past that, you guys have so much in common that you should be inseparable.”

You snorted, “Inseparable.  HA.  Jim, I can barely get through a work day without that man berating me for pressing a key on the keyboard.  I can’t wait to leave my shift everyday, just to get away from him.”

Jim shook his head, still smiling that knowing smile he seemed to always wear, his blue eyes sparkling as he looked to you, “Just consider this one thing.  On your evening off, away from the ever-insufferable Scotty, you have not stopped talking about him.  What does that say?”

You rolled your eyes as Jim stood, patted you on the shoulder, and left.  

Was Jim right?  You seemed to always be talking about him, most of the time complaining, and your thoughts nearly always roaming to his red-brown hair and kind eyes.  

No.  You shook your head, dispelling the thoughts.  When Bobby was back, everything would return to normal.  Everything that had been turned upside down would right itself.  Right?

-Thanks for reading!  I hope you liked it!-

Permanent Tag list (let me know if you want to be added/removed):  @feelmyroarrrr @jefferson-in-the-tardis@anyakinamidala@digitalmoonhowell @trekken81@fandomheadrush@kirkaholic123 @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11

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[artgay]

hey hey got tagged by @delusions-of-decency

The last 1. drink: coke 2. phone call: how do i say my mum w,o it bein dorky 3. text message: finn obviously 4. song you listened to: liability, lorde 5. time you cried: monday on the tram 6. dated someone twice: noope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yea 8. been cheated on: no ? 9. lost someone special: fuck 10. been depressed: look, 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: eVERY TIME i am a hell child 3 favourite colours: idk like? light pink? maroon? lavender? aah? yyellow

In the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes!! 16. fallen out of love: ye, 17. laughed until you cried: i hope so? 18. found out someone was talking about you: yep @ bee u gay thing 19. met someone who changed you: definitely 20. found out who your friends are: oh yeah baby 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: one or two (or eight)

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: some, definitely more than half? probably? 23. do you have any pets: two cats n a dog 24. do you want to change your name: i have before.. and i definitely wasnt just imagining doing it again earlier tonight? and i also definitely havent look at changing my middle name to match my gf?? no! 25. what did you do for your last birthday: get drinks w, friends and sleep in a polyam sandwich 26. what time did you wake up: too early. 8:20. left the house by 8:35 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: getting way too flustered by a cute grl on okc / trying to watch a movie but probs talking to finn ngl 

28. name something you can’t wait for: the cold embrace of death- whAT?? probably actually being @ uni and also moving out and not dying and emotional stability pls 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: cough cough like two? hrs ago rip 31. what are you listening to right now: my brain mostly and i try to tune that guy out as much as i can 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: briefly?? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: literally abuse apologists n people who r g??? with them? ffs im not even sorry im so fucking done i ranted to jemimah for like 2 hours today and like i am. fucking done like im writing angsty poetry that i cant even upload yet and im fucking done man do ne rip im out 34. most visited website: my blog, google docs lmao, fb,

35. hair colour: naturally light brown, currently godawful silver 36. long or short hair: short omg me with long hair was a Travesty 37. do you have a crush on someone: whaaaat??? nO??? like seven and a half 38. what do you like about yourself: my conviction n my collarbones and not this answer idfk like? stuff, probably 39. piercings: septum and ears except i went to put earrings in the other day and i couldn’t get them in which may have been tremors but also they may have closed over whoops 40. blood type: is there a personality test for that 41.nickname: no 42. relationship status: in the gay 43. zodiac: gem/scorp/leo 44. pronouns: they/them , lowkey thinking abt adding fae/faer into the mix but also havent told anyone so hey everyone thats a thing idk 45. favourite tv show: help idk like? fuck idek ,, brooklyn 99? bob’s burgers? i don’t know? neither of them are intellectual but look, 47. right or left handed: right  48. surgery: i forget 49. sport: who 50. vacation: anywhere people aren’t. iceland mostly. i want puffins and cold  51. pair of trainers: what

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: granny smith apples ayy  54. drinking: still coke 55. i’m about to: go to sleep coz i need to get up at literal dawn (not actually) to go for geelong with my gf tomorrow

56. waiting for: friday.. friday night. post friday.. seeing finn. seeing catherine. the rest of my life. charlie to die so i find out his horoscope in the obituary. uni. death. idk, wow somewhere along these questions i decided to die not really but also really 57. want: money so i can not stress about that but probably still feel this bad, but with money 58. get married: if it’s lorde or samira wiley , otherwise idc 59. career: what is the point of life

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: yes 61. lips or eyes: yes 62. shorter or taller: yes 63. older or younger: older tbh 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Aarms but also omg tummies r cute ok tummies no wait arms idk 65. hook up or relationship: what is sex lmao give me the relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: idc

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: yep 68. drank hard liquor: yea 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: 20/20 vision, babe 70. turned someone down: yep rip 71. sex on the first date: actually yeah? 72. broken someone’s heart: uh shit probs less rapey ben or imaad apPArently 73. had your heart broken: rip i can’t read all of a sudden 74. been arrested: does cops forcibly escorting me from- yes oh fuck i have 75. cried when someone died: bitch im still crying 76. fallen for a friend: i dont do it any other way

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: i did at the start of this quiz when i had faith in the world but mm unsure 78. miracles: nope 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: nope 81. kiss on the first date: what tf do u mean believe in? does it exist? yea? is it moral? also yea 82. angels: no

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: there are multiple 84. eye colour: hazel 85. favourite movie: i have no distinguishing characteristics but probably uh fuck like probably the way he looks bc im sad rn Tagging: idk i got sad go for it tho

[fair-fae]

You know, I'm not a drama person, I don't like it, but it came up on my dash so much that I kind of had to read it. All of that nonsense could've been avoided if you didn't even take it to the public. Judging people for THEIR characters that THEY made and can do WHATEVER the hell they want with them? Oh woo ho good job, you're so popular for taking the "barrage" of it. No. all it did was prove that you're a D-bag and I've got a nice, long list of people to block now and avoid contact with.

Okay, anon. I haven’t bothered setting the record straight with most of this shit, because I know folks like you will continue to believe what you want to believe and hear what you want to hear, just like you’re doing now. But I’ll bite. You’d think all of you getting onto your soapbox about how you shouldn’t judge or attack others wouldn’t keep talking shit about a situation you know nothing about and/or are terribly misinformed about. So I’ll enlighten you with what actually happened.

A while back, the person in question got into an argument with some people on the RPC, trying to tell them that their interpretation of the lore was wrong. Rather than leaving it at that, when he effectively got shut down there, he proceeded to take a screenshot of the conversation and post it on his tumblr, complete with a rant about the people who disagreed with him, their opinions are so wrong and awful, how dare they disagree with him, etc. essentially playing the victim when he was the one to try to badger them for their opinions in the first place. He also left their names, icons, signatures, etc. in full view.I responded and told him he probably shouldn’t be trying to harass any other people about the lore considering his own character concept (thus, you would think, making my opinion on his character pretty clear). Why? Because it’s fucking true.I don’t give a shit about the lore or whether anyone follows it. Probably every single one of my own characters at least bends the lore. But at least have the self-awareness and respect for your fellow role-players to say “yeah, my character breaks the lore” or not get your jimmies rustled every time someone says “oh, yeah, his character is lore breaking.” You wanna break the lore? Cool. Own up to it. And if you do break the lore, don’t try to force everyone else into following it–especially when you can’t even admit you break lore and instead stretch the lore to try so hard to justify your entirely lore-breaking character concept. Don’t try to heckle people for presumably doing what you do but won’t admit. Granted, these people weren’t even breaking lore anyway, which makes his insistence that they were even more ridiculous.So after some excuses about how he was trying to start some intellectual discussion or something and not just drag these people despite featuring their identities and primarily just complaining about them throughout the post, he admitted he should have at least edited out their names and apologized. Great! You’d think that should be the end of it. I didn’t have anything against him at that point, but also had no desire/reason to associate with him, so I didn’t. A couple months go by. Some post comes across my dash. A girl in the community is doxxing her online ex-boyfriend in a callout post about him for unexpectedly breaking up with her because she “thinks” he was lying to her about serious issues and “believes” he was cheating on her. Because I’m a loud and opinionated person, and because that’s some heinous thing to do, I spoke out against it (via a post on my own blog without naming names, mind you, because I’m not going to hijack someone else’s post with negativity or call them out by name). The girl found it, assumed it was about herself, flipped out, and then of course I was the bad guy for saying doxxing isn’t okay. And then the person in question joins in. Not even to discuss the topic at hand, but to dredge up the old drama about how I was so mean to him and he did nothing wrong, etc. A pretty crappy 180 turn for a person who apologized and made it seem like there were no hard feelings, but whatever. Someone saw that he obviously didn’t like me, and seized the chance to try to talk shit and spread rumors because they knew he’d give them the platform. They sent him some anon about how I hate women (lmao). And of course, he published it, with no skepticism or disagreement, only more commentary about how I’m mean and awful. I went to respond, only to find myself blocked. So I went on about my life because it’s not that big of a deal, but hey. The moment you talk shit about me, especially in a venue where I can’t respond, especially facilitating some lies and BS rumors, especially after leading me to believe we’d made amends–you aren’t off limits. You don’t get spared niceness and politeness. Is that mean and petty? Probably.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never claimed to be a nice person.Now, to the horrible, awful thing I did to make this “public.” Fast forward to yesterday. I’d kept my mouth shut and left him alone. In a section of the RPC that doesn’t get a ton of traffic, largely because you have to make an account on the website and then manually opt in to this specific forum, several of us were discussing an absolutely awful person which is an unrelated story I won’t get into. Someone asked something along the lines of, “Are you guys talking about Underaged Looking Allagan Voidsent Chimera Demon Guy?” I responded with basically “No, we’re not talking about Underaged Looking Allagan Voidsent Chimera Demon Guy.” And that was it. We moved on with the conversation because he wasn’t who we’d been talking about. His name, tumblr, server info, in game race, class, etc. was all never given. No identifiable information beyond a very brief and tongue-in-cheek description of his RP character comprised of words taken directly from his own wiki, tumblr info, talk of his own character and RP posts.Someone saw the conversation, and based on our intentionally shitty description, was able to accurately guess who we were talking about and send him an anon to tell him about it. You’d think that would be pretty telling about his own RP, and this anon’s interpretation of it. He answered the anon in a long rant about me that featured both my in game name and my tumblr handle. In case you need me to spell this out for you, he went public with it first. I’ll also remind you that I was blocked, so I wasn’t/couldn’t be following him, and I was not properly @tagged in this rant, so I never would have seen it unless someone told/linked me, or someone I follow eventually reblogged it. And I honestly can’t imagine the level of narcissism it takes to write a long personal post full of wangst and victim-playing every time you hear a person had something negative to say about you or your RP character (not even by name–and by picking words from his own descriptions of his character), especially a person you have had issues with in the past and who you openly shit-talked yourself prior. Who does that? Lord knows my blog would be overflowing. Not everyone will like you, especially not people you jabbed at first. Especially not with an off the wall RP concept. Especially not with you trying to pass that concept is lore abiding and just “unusual.” Especially not with you trying to tell other people they’re “wrong” about the lore. Especially not with your character being a squicky, walking fetish and immortal jailbait. And that’s not even touching other things people have told me about this person that rubbed them the wrong way. Move on with your life.However, I found out about the post thanks to the OP himself when he unblocked me just to send me the link to the post and then before I could even read/respond to the post, sent me a barrage of IM’s still playing the innocent victim which is grating enough on its own but also included him straight up lying about ever posting/saying anything about me, insisting he’d done nothing to me, had nothing against me, this was so out of the blue and uncalled for, etc. When I pointed out this wasn’t the case, that I had seen and read the posts firsthand because blocking me doesn’t prevent me from seeing his posts, he began to lie instead about the contents of said posts and pulled some gaslighting bullshit about how I had just “misread” them, all the while either willfully or coincidentally not seeming to understand anything I said to him (I mentioned him publishing the anon about how I hate women at least twice and the response was always “I never said you hate women!!” Well no shit). He kept insisting that I had “gone behind his back” and that if I had a problem I should “say it to his face” despite the fact he’d had me blocked and that I’m not a douchey enough person to try to contact him despite that, and despite the fact that he had “gone behind my back” and not “said it to my face” twice now prior, and had done just that with his post about the folks from the RPC as well.He also insisted that the tumblr post was meant just to innocently “bring the issue to my attention to clear things up” despite me having no way to see it on my own unless by coincidence, and despite him proving to be willing and able to send me IM’s instead, which you’d think could render the need for a public post moot. When I pointed this out, he promptly deleted the post, lest anyone else see through his bullshit to what he was really trying to do.After my initial response to his wall of IM’s, he sent another wall this time with more insults and accusations, and promptly blocked me so I couldn’t respond. So yes, I made a vaguepost, I know, how awful, how dare I. A vague post vague enough that only someone who had seen his post, or who heard about it from him otherwise, would know who and what it was referencing. Until he responded to it himself, that is and unblocked me again to send me more angry messages to which I responded by permanently blocking him instead because this game of blocking and unblocking sure was getting old.Cue his charming friends sweeping in to tell me to eat a dick, making false accusations against my RP partner and I, sending me threats on Discord, telling people I flashed my breasts for money, etc. And the other person? The one who brought him up in the first place who I had only been responding to? Whose name he was given, was aired in the same public post on his blog as mine? As far as I know, she hasn’t gotten any hate, probably not a single message. And I’m glad, because she shouldn’t get any, she doesn’t deserve it. But at the same time, sure seems sketchy that the person who did the same exact thing as me–and who did it first–has not provoked anyone’s ire, not even been messaged. The public post in reply to the anon who named her, even, was aimed 100% at me. Now isn’t that funny. It’s almost like this was an excuse for people who already had beef with me to try to take shots at me and pretend it was justified. It’s almost like all you anon keyboard warriors don’t even know how this started or what actually happened.And now I’m going to talk about something else. You cannot do “whatever the hell you want” with your character. RP is a two-way (or more) street. There is a real person behind each and every character. These people are looking for fun just like you, and are every bit as deserving, and your fun shouldn’t impede on theirs. We are all allowed equal parts of fun.So when people play their weird ass lolicon/shotacon/pedobait characters, who is having fun? What if the other person in the RP was sexually abused as a child and you’re dredging up terrible old memories for them and making light of their pain? What if they’re a parent worried for their child, or worse, the parent of a child who’s already been abused? What if they’re an actual pedophile and seeing you RP this is tempting them, making them think they’re desires are normal and okay? Hell, what if they’re a goddamn ordinary person who finds it creepy and uncomfortable?What if the fetishized, futa ERP avatar is interacting with someone who is trans or nonbinary or intersex IRL? What if it’s triggering them (in the genuine, real sense of the word)? What if the walking affront against the lore character talking about being an Voidsent Half-Primal Garlean Spy in the middle of the Quicksand is ruining everyone’s immersion–particularly when they refuse to play along as others respond realistically IC and try to kill them or arrest them or kick them out? What if the OP af infinitely-stronger-than-everyone-else-around-him character is making the RP unfun for every other RPer involved because their characters can’t do anything but get beaten up or bow to his whims unless they stoop to godmodding or suddenly beefing up their own character?People can and will judge your character. Those judgments are usually best left kept themselves or quietly shared between trustworthy friends. But when your character trespasses on the OOC fun of the role-players around you? Sorry, my guy, people have every right to speak up. And all this nonsense? All this nonsense was a small handful of people who were already pretty nasty showing their true colors and getting told to pipe the fuck down. A pretty good outcome, if you ask me. So, please, block me, anon. My life will be better without idiots like you in it, and the same probably goes for anyone else you intend to block. Your nameless, ignorant, anonymous presence will not be missed–or noticed, for that matter.

[kyberled]

☀ ♦ ♥ ☢ ✖

the salty af munday meme

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve? –> Ship forcing. This is literally the best way to get me to unfollow or even block another mun. I’ll explain what ship-forcing is below, but yeah, that’s one of them.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? –> See above. It happened once on my Warren blog, and once very recently on here. Now, a bit of a definition, here - I don’t see ship-forcing as asking me if I want to ship, or saying your muse has a crush on Braig - heck, that can be flattering (though I prefer if we know each other, first - it can get a bit uncomfy for me, kind of like virtual catcalling, I guess, when complete strangers tell me how attractive they think Braig is). I don’t see it as someone’s muse having feelings for Braig, one-sided or otherwise. All of these things are A-Okay, and can be quite fun, too! What I do see ship forcing is when someone asks if they can ship with Braig, and instantly, as soon as I say ‘we can give it a try’, deciding that our muses are suddenly soulmates, even if they’ve hardly said four sentences to each other, before. I see it as asking to ship, then immediately dropping the thread where they were actually in the process of meeting each other to have them now in the middle of a date, which, given the context of where, when, and how said date was taking place would likely have gotten them both killed. I see it as pestering Braig to do something ‘romantic’, having both Braig and I say no, he doesn’t want to, and the other person keeps pushing, regardless, or getting upset when Braig decides to respond with something not romantic and replying to that with some rude, snarky comment. ‘Uh, I think [muse] wanted Braig to do [X], actually’ - Yes, that has happened, before. I’ve been vagueblogged about, spammed on and off anon, been told I’ve made peoples’ depression/anxiety worse, had on-blog events ruined and muses killed and simply been harassed at all hours of the day because of ship-forcing and my trying to deal with it gently and politely, instead of just flat-out saying ‘no’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with this’. So, if it ever seems like I’m coming down too hard on someone in regards to shipping, I swear I don’t mean to come off as abrasive or rude - I just learned the hard way that you’ve gotta be blunt about your comfort zones or else things go south faster than a flock of geese on an adrenaline high. Basically, to sum this novel up: As long as you respect my boundaries, we’re good; if I haven’t told you you’re skeeving me out, we’re good. If I have told you you are, and you keep doing whatever it was, we’re not so good. 

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? –> I don’t really keep up with trends enough to know lmao. I mean I guess I’ve seen a few, but they don’t really bother me. You do you, and all… Though, I guess I never entirely understood the whole ‘personified objects’ thing? I mean, you do you, and all, but it just never  made sense to me.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? –> It hasn’t, not really. I think the only real changes have been purely aesthetic, like small text,  contained themes, etc. I really don’t care what other people do, as long as they’re happy and not hurting anyone.

♥ What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

[Under a cut for length]

Okay, so, I told two of my rp horror stories over on Xig, so I’ll tell my third one here. Since I gave the other two pseudonyms, we’ll call this one ‘Cheeper’. Cheeper was someone I had met when a mutual friend we’ll call Battery allegedly recommended my blog to them. Now, Battery was someone I had approximately zero problems with. Really friendly, sweet guy, talented writer, great sense of humour, one of my favourite people to write with. So, I figured, if Cheeper was a friend of Battery’s, they must be cool, too, right? … Wrong. So, things start out okay-ish, as they always do, but things get downhill pretty fast. Starts off with small things, like ignoring asks or dropping literally all of our threads without letting me know. And I understand wanting to drop threads or not being able to get to everything in your ask box, but when that happens consistently, it gets a little disheartening.

The next little thing was when they started making AUs of my muse, and expecting me to write them. Lemme say here that I am totally fine with people suggesting AUs for my muses. That’s where this blog came from, Rodi suggesting a Star Wars AU where another one of my muses was Obi’s padawan, so, again, I’m fine with AU prompts. What I’m not fine with is when someone writing a really detailed version of my muse without consulting me at all, and then expecting me to write that AU they made with no warning and no problems. Cheeper comes into my IMs listing this novel-length AU detailing not only how their muse changed, but how mine did, as well. Basically, the entire idea was that their muse, who in canon was a big tank-type character who had been straight-up abusive to multiple characters, and turned them into a small, fluffy little mage who was actually a good guy and hadn’t done any bad things, and was being forced to do the bad guys’ dirty work, whereas my muse… Was suddenly the abusive one. For absolutely no reason. In a way that not only completely contradicted all of my personal headcanons - all of which were posted and easily viewable on my blog - but also went against all of what canon had showed us about my muse, and quite frankly made me really uncomfortable. I mean, you’ve seen some of the stuff I’ve written, you know I’m down to write some pretty messed up stuff, but to straight up turn my muse into a child abuser, WITHOUT CONSULTING ME AT ALL, just so your muse can be the good guy? That doesn’t fly so well. On top of that, writing such a detailed version of my muse and expecting me to play it for you? Why not write it yourself? I mean like I said, I am thrilled with AU suggestions, but, hell, keep it to a sentence or two, tops. Let me experiment and develop my muse to fit the AU myself, thanks. … And, while these things were pretty irritating, especially when a few of them happened over and over again, it got worse.

A lot of the time, when I’m having OOC conversations to get to know another mun before we start writing together, I look for a sort of ‘spark’ or ‘click’ - something that shows this person and I are gonna get along. For a lot of people, including my favourite partners, this click is basically immediate - just this instant ‘wow, we’re gonna be good friends, this is great!’, and, for others, it takes a bit longer, and that’s totally okay! Some people take a while to open up, or maybe it wasn’t a good day for one of us, I totally get it, happens to me, too. How quickly the click happens has absolutely NO BEARING ON MY OPINION OF A PERSON WHATSOEVER. There have been I think only three or four times I haven’t clicked with someone - twice on Warren, once on Xig, and once here. If I message you first, send asks, tag you in things, like your posts, etc, we’ve clicked, don’t worry. Anyway, Cheeper was one of these rare occurrences where there was not only no click, there was the opposite of a click. At first I thought it was just ‘cause our first convo was a bit awkward - from what I remember, it was basically just ‘hi, My name is [Cheeper], I’m [Battery]’s friend and he recommended your blog so I thought I’d give you a follow’, you know, typical ‘hi, nice to meet you’ type thing, I didn’t think much of it. Unfortunately, that was the only pleasant conversation we had.

You see, Cheeper had the habit of starting conversations with some variation of ‘how are you?’. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, in typical Canadian fashion, I always did my best to follow social protocol and be polite, and say ‘I’m good/fine/great, thanks, how are you?’, and, much like Han Solo, I learned that there are some situations you shouldn’t ask that question. Every time, without fail, Cheeper would say some variation of ‘bad’ or ‘horrible’, and proceed to dump literally all their life’s problems on me, and I mean all of them. I’m perfectly fine with letting my friends vent/rant to me as much as they need, and offering advice is a pass-time of mine. But, I had only known this person for- Less than a week, when this started (I hardly even knew their NAME I had to look it up on their blog), and they kept going on and on about some really personal shit, like hours of how they hated their job and school was stressful, and their family was aphobic and never used the right pronouns, literally everything about their personal life, no matter how private it was, just- Constant negativity, all the time. It was literally all they spoke about, ever. I don’t know anything else about them, just that their life was terrible and they decided to use me as some sort of verbal stress ball. Even if I tried to divert the conversation to a different topic, or just ignore them entirely, I’d still get floods of negativity and complaints. And what makes it even better? They had a frickin therapist! This person, who had a professional, trained therapist, would spend hours unloading all of their mental/emotional burdens on me, an untrained stranger who had only said ‘hi’ to them once. And, after they had dumped all their baggage on me, they’d say, ‘oh, gotta go, it’s time to go to my therapist’. And, honestly? That was the only time I felt safe to post on my blog. Yes, you read that right - it was the only time I felt safe to post on my own blog. I honestly could not make a post on my blog without Cheeper spamming my IMs with boatloads of stress-inducing negativity. And, call me selfish, call me insensitive, call me whatever you want, but, fuck, I had my own problems! I was in university, trying to get law school level grades, while working a part time job to try and help my family out when we were struggling financially, doing what I could to make sure there was enough food in the fridge for my younger brothers, trying to help my grandma take care of my grandpa, trying to keep up with my martial arts - which I have to do in order to keep my job - and trying to write multiple essays for both my younger brother and myself, as we were prepping for our black sash tests, but he was also trying to get into film school, so I’d volunteered to write the sash essays for him, and, let me tell you, I did not need to play counsellor to someone I didn’t even know on top of that. And, like I said, this happened constantly, and I’d get a new flood of messages every time I so much as hinted at being online.

And believe it or not, it got worse, Sakrine.

I remember there was one conversation we had (’conversation’ being used loosely, of course) towards the end of our interactions where Cheeper was complaining at me, as per usual, and mentioned how all of their friends were blocking them without saying why. Funnily enough, I was planning on blocking them soon, myself (probably should have done it a long time ago). But, lo and behold, right after saying how they were always getting blocked, Cheeper goes and says ‘but you’d never block me, so at least I have you. You’re my best friend, Jay’. And I’m sitting here really uncomfortable because, uh, no, we’re not best friends, and I have no idea what gave them that idea, since I never told them anything of the sort, and in fact barely spoke to to them at all, both because I didn’t much care for their company, and because I could hardly get a word in edgewise - and, even if I could, how does one respond to a total stranger badgering you for advice on how to deal with their family not handling their being out well? I’m not out to my family, and I don’t think I ever will be, so, again, how can I give that sort of advice to someone I don’t know?

About the time this was happening was when I met and was chatting with Rodi, who’s actually one of my best friends and the light of my life. Like I mentioned above, it was at her suggestion that I decided to make this li’l OC mess that we know and love here. He was originally gonna be a verse on my other blog, until I realised that I’d have tags for a Jedi verse, a padawan verse, a Sith verse, etc., and that was too many for one AU, so I made a sideblog. Then, after only a day of having that, and a bit of encouragement from both Rodi and Milla (my main Talon), I made this stand-alone blog for my son, and I was having a great time.

Cheeper, however, was not, and made sure I knew it.

Now, my muse for that blog had been steadily dying, mostly because of this, but also for a few other, more minor reasons, and I felt way more comfortable here, was having more fun, and generally just enjoying myself way more on this blog than the other, so, naturally, this is where I spent most of my time. Within a day or two of my neglecting Xig, Cheeper pops into the IMs to complain about me, to me. Yes, I am dead serious, this is an actual thing that happened. They start badgering me to go back to my other blog, and, I dunno if this has ever happened to you, but, it’s really disheartening. I explained to Cheeper that I felt more comfortable on this blog (though I didn’t tell them why I felt that way on Xig; Perhaps I should’ve), that I had more drafts and asks on this blog, and that I had more muse for this character at the moment, so I’d be spending my time over here, at least for a little bit. Their oh-so-eloquent response was, and this is a verbatim quote, ‘boo, you suck.’ And I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, so I didn’t. I just sat there, staring, feeling an interesting concoction of shocked, annoyed, and offended. About a minute later, they added a ‘lol, just kidding’, and proceeded to… Continue… To complain about me, as well as about their life and still expected me to give them advice and solutions I didn’t have. I’ve never had someone act more entitled to my time and energy as this person did. 

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking - ‘they were probably just some kid, Jay, young people can be like that at times, you’re taking it too hard’, and, hey, I thought so, too. I was nineteen years old when this was happening; Cheeper was around 24 or 25. Yup, this person was about five or six years older than me, and a grown-ass adult the entire time. And like I said, they were constantly acting entitled to everything I did, like I owed them something. There was another time where I’d actually gotten a bit of muse for my other blog back, so I went on, answered a bunch of asks, slammed out some drafts, sent some memes, answered some IMs… It was a really productive evening for me. Once I was finished, I came back here and got a bit more done. Next morning rolls around, and Cheeper messages me with ‘I miss you, dude. You’re never on Xig, any more.’ I tell them that, actually I’d been on last night, for a few hours, at least. Their response? ‘Well, I wasn’t on.’, after which they kept complaining about how much they missed my muse and my writing. I get this was probably supposed to be flattering, but it really wasn’t? Especially considering that, while they were going on and on about how much they missed me and wanted to write with me, they were completely ignoring the THREE STARTERS I had written for them in the weeks leading up to this point. Hadn’t even given them a like, which I like to do to let someone know that, even if I’m slow as all Hell - which I tend to be - I have seen it, and it’s in my drafts. So, I mentioned this to Cheeper, said ‘you know, I have a couple starters for you on the other blog, why don’t you check those out?’ ‘Oh, I didn’t see them, I’ll give them a look.’ And then, blissfully, they stopped messaging. Little while later, a few days, I got another message from them (keep in mind I never contacted them or interacted with them first, since, rude as it may sound, I was kind of hoping they’d get the message), and once again they were whining about how I was never on Xig again, so I went to check the starters again, and… Still no notes. So I ask them about the starters, and they say ‘I couldn’t find them’. You know how I looked them up? [my blog’s url]/tagged/[cheeper’s url], and, bam. There they were. I told Cheeper this and even sent them the link to their tag. They said okay, that they’d check it out later, and started complaining about their life again. I was serious when I said this was the only thing they talked about, outside of basically harassing me to write with them. Few days later, they get on my case AGAIN for not being on Xig/not rping with them. I check the THREE FUCKING STARTERS again,  STILL NO NOTES. I ask, and ‘oh I just don’t have muse for them right now lol’. And I’m left sitting here like, okay, do you really want to write with me, or are you just mad I’m not dedicating all of my attention to you and your godawful AU muses? I mean, I have NOTHING against AU muses - that’s where this kiddo came from, after all - but AUS WHERE THEY PUSHED MY CHARACTER TO BE A FUCKING CHILD ABUSER WERE APPARENTLY ALL THEY HAD MUSE FOR. And my character was a moral fuckhead I admit but he WASN’T OVERTLY ABUSIVE THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS COOL PLAYING HIM AS THE ANTAGONIST HE WAS AND JUST. And as well, when I have no muse, it’s apparently a major fuckin’ disaster and they complain to the ends of the earth about it and go on and on about how I should still be writing that character and how much they miss me, but when THEY have no muse I have to accommodate it and make allowances and write with them anyway???? Like???

So anyway yeah they proceeded to ignore those starters for months, and every time I posted a new starter call,they’d like that, I’d post a starter, they’d completely ignore it, then come crying and complaining to me, berating me and all but sobbing about how much they missed me.

BUT IT GETS WORSE STILL, SAKRINE.

After a while, Cheeper starts asking me about Star Wars. And I’m torn between ‘fuck no, this is my new safe place, and I’m TRYING TO BE SAFE FROM YOU’ and ‘well maybe if they get into this series they’ll stop getting upset with me for not writing on a blog I have no muse for and am not comfortable on’. So they ask me what they need to watch to understand Star Wars. I tell them to watch the movies, since those are the unchanging canon, no matter what Disney did to the Legends material. Apparently they don’t even have the attention span for their favourite show, so they can’t watch the movies. They complain to me about that for a while, because apparently I care. I did not. I tell them that everything Star Wars - or at least, in the era I write in - revolves around those movies. I tell them they can just watch the PT (and explain what the different trilogies are) and that will get them caught up with where I write. Nope, can’t do that. So I tell them there are book versions of the movies they can read, instead, and there are also comics and stuff they can look into if that would be better.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for books.

Complain about that to me for a while, then ask what they absolutely HAVE to watch to understand. 

I tell them about the Clone Wars show, give them a link to the relevant KissCartoon page. They ask how long the show is - I tell them the number of seasons (mention that 6 is unfinished), and the average length of an episode.

Nope, don’t have the attention span for that, either.

They reiterate that they hardly have the attention span for their favourite show, and once again complain to me before asking me what the /HAVE TO WATCH/ to understand.

I tell them that they’re free to try interacting with my muse on their KH blogs, since I’m open to crossovers and still, for some ungodly reason, trying to be civil.

They keep asking about star wars.

I mention the video games.

Don’t have the attention span for video games.

So this person, who apparently can’t watch movies or TV shows, or read books or comics, or play video games, is asking me what source material they need to know to roleplay a Star Wars verse. 

I, as a last-ditch and mostly sarcastic effort, give them a link to Wookieepedia. I’m a terrible person, I know.

…

They don’t have the patience to look through the wiki pages.

I’m all but smashing my face against the keyboard now, while this person is COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT HOW LONG STAR WARS IS. 

I mean I get it’s a lot but I tried to break it down?? And last I checked I’m not George Lucas like I’m sorry but it’s not my fault, my problem, or in my power to change? And I tell them it’s 40 years worth of worldbuilding and try to help them break it down again and they just KEEP FUCKING COMPLAINING.

And after like. Two hours of me trying to reason with them and help them out they say ‘I’m not even interested in star Wars, I just want to write with you’. 

And now, maybe I’m reading into it too much. Maybe I listen to too many narrated Let’s Not Meet videos too late at night. But holy shit, I have never felt like I had a legitimate stalker until that moment. It was one of the most uncomfortable things that has ever happened to me. I had zero idea how to respond, and so again I don’t think I did. Or, if I did, it was to again try to explain to them that there was a lot of material, and they should [leavemethefuckalone] focus on things they were interested in, especially if they didn’t think they could handle just the show. So they complain to me about that for a bit, before moving on to other topics to whine about. Always comes back to how I’m not writing with them any more (meanwhile, the countless starters I’ve written them are still being ignored, as are any and all threads we had on the go at the time. Everything’s either been ignored, abandoned, or both, all without letting me know.).I honestly don’t remember how that conversation ended. Just thinking about it makes me blank out and get a sort of mild pins-and-needles feeling. I mean, I get it was probably supposed to be flattering, and if we had been friends it might have been, but coming from this person? Alarm bells were ringing like a retro emergency evac PSE. 

AND IT GETS WORSE STILL, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I STILL PUT UP WITH THIS PERSON. 

So, enter me, just going back to uni for the spring/early summer semester. Our stage sets itself in my campus’ bookstore, at about noon or one o’clock in the afternoon. The line from the bookstore stretches from the counter, at one end of the store, wraps around the perimeter of that very large, very spacious room that was at one point a lecture hall, goes through the hall to the next room which also used to be a massive classroom, wraps around that and goes out the back door. I had to get up for an 8:30 that was across the field that day. I had non-stop class until this point, I had had no breakfast (though I think I had a sip of orange juice to keep from conking out), I had been waiting in line for close to an hour, my arms were full of heavy textbooks I dreaded having to pay for, and I only had one hand free for typing, and there was a chance I’d be late to my next class if this line didn’t get moving. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much in the mood for talking (though I think I made the effort for Rodi and Maddie (my best friend from public school who I still talk to) since I enjoy talking to them and it made me feel a bit better). Anyway, I’m in line, tired, irate, and scrolling through tumblr, and Cheeper messages me with a ‘hey’. Oh fuck, I think, this isn’t good. I greet them anyway - just a ‘hi’. I’m only giving one word answers at this point, since I’m not in a chatty mood, and, as I mentioned, I’m typing with just my thumb and that fucking sucks and takes forever, and I’m also trying to keep my place in line. Cheeper starts asking me about school, and I’m very confused, because never once in the months I’d known them had they ever taken an interest in me or my life. ‘so you’re in university right’ they ask. I remember most of this conversation word for word, and you’ll see why. ‘yeah’, I reply. ‘What year?’ they ask; ‘Second \o/’ I say, adding an emoji b/c I love that one. ‘Cool, what’s your major?’ they ask, and I’m getting hopeful that maybe they’ve turned a new leaf and my patience with them has been rewarded. So I tell them ‘Classics \O/’ with a slightly more excited emoji, and they tell me that’s cool, mention their major is in foreign languages - I think Chinese? Maybe Spanish? This is the one message I can never remember in its entirety, because the next one almost knocked me over. I replied with ‘cool’, and a half second later, Cheeper asks, 

“Are you out to your family yet?”

This complete fucking stranger, this grown-ass adult I barely knew, straight up asked me if I was out to my family, yet. I have never been asked that question before or since. I am out only to people on tumblr, and a small group of my most trusted friends from high school. And this person had the fucking audacity to ask me right out if I was. 

I was shocked.

I will not lie to you, I almost dropped my phone. I think I stopped breathing for a second, and I nearly lost my place in line. I was torn between just being frozen and being fucking livid. After a moment when I didn’t respond, they added, ‘Can I ask that?’ And I swear those two messages are tattooed into my mind.

“Are you out to your family yet?”

Holy fuck.

So I manage to collect myself enough to type out ‘no, I’m not’. 

‘Damn,’ they say. ‘Because my mom keeps messing up my pronouns and I wanted to know if you have any advice.’ 

Because why the fuck else would they care about me, right?

And then they proceeded to complain about their life and their aphobic family to me AGAIN, for HOURS, but at that point I’d been ignoring their messages and was instead talking to Maddie for advice on how to handle the situation. I had no idea what to do. I was lost. Like. I wanted to block them so bad but they’d been subtly guilt-tripping me about it for so long (’you’d never block me, you’re my best friend’ was just the start of that, tbh) that I felt bad for it? And Maddie was just like ‘jay no that’s fucked up get rid of them’ and I did.

I have never once regretted it and holy fuck it feels amazing to get this shit off my chest.

And yeah, so.

That was one of my worst RP experiences.

Are you out to your family yet.

I’d sell them to Satan for half a stale corn chip I swear to Christ. 

[meet-the-civilians]

“Well, this made me feel a lot better.”

TRANSPHOBES WILL NEVER BE TRUE PATRIOTS AND THEY'RE ALL TRAITORS TO AMERICA! I WILL BLOW THEM ALL UP! I HATE TRANSPHOBES!! AAGHAGHAGHGGG!!!!