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felixbit · 2 months

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i like it

pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader w. 2k genre: drama, a mix of fluff + angst summary: you've been in a situationship with hyunjin for almost six months. while he's taking you out, you decide it's time to make or break what you have with the goal of becoming official. warnings: none a/n: i was in a writer's block for like two months, but the album seems to have broken it?? stream ate for good luck (and there will likely not be a part 2 to this)

Six months of back and forth has been driving you crazy.

You'd met a guy that changed your life. He was everything you'd ever wanted: gorgeous, talented, somewhat wealthy, and a kind soul. He was passionate, driven, and everything else that made you want to be his. This was Hyunjin.

The only problem was: Hyunjin struggled with commitment.

He'd take you out on fancy dinners, dates, drop a grand on a shopping trip, but couldn't bring himself to make it official. He sent you flowers, good morning texts, random food orders to your place whenever you mentioned you were hungry over text. But it was 'casual'.

You decided to play his game, give him time to open up. You'd learned that he'd been in a long-term yet rocky relationship that had only ended three months before you met. Of course you wanted to give him time to heal. You wanted him to come to you when he was ready.

He never did. He'd spend all day in your apartment, taking a day off work just to see you. He'd hold you and kiss you until the sun fell and rose again. You would wake up to breakfast in bed served with a side of kisses and little love notes. But, he was instantly avoidant when it came to you asking if he was ready.

So, you were in a weird relationship purgatory. He'd give you everything but a title in his life, and that's all you ever needed with him. The internet seemed to deem it a 'situationship', but it was another label that Hyunjin would likely avoid.

The thought was eating you up inside. Three weeks ago, you drafted up an ultimatum confrontation text to send him. It turned to collecting dust whenever you pasted it into messages and immediately deleted it. Hyunjin was amazing, even with his faults. Could you stand to lose him over wanting to be his?

You sat on the couch that Hyunjin had bought you two months ago, plagued with thoughts about him all morning. He'd been busy almost the entire week, which would throw a wrench into any potential plans. His work was demanding at times and you knew how committed he was to it.

When you finished making breakfast, you ate it while listening to a playlist Hyunjin had sent. He had a good ear for music, especially picking out songs you'd like. He'd started a habit of making you a playlist at the start of every month and you'd listen religiously.

Just as you were finishing up, your phone vibrate and fished it from your pocket. Looking down at the screen, your heart skipped a beat and a smile immediately rushed onto your face.

hyunjin: good morning!!

This was everyday routine. If you didn't wake up to a classic 'good morning' text, you'd get one before the clock ticked over to PM. Sometimes he'd admit he forgot to right when he woke up, but he was pretty good at staying consistent on his timing.

y/n: good morning hyunjinnie :)

That damn nickname. You'd called him a plethora of nicknames since you first started seeing each other, and it was making it infinitely harder to find it casual. The worst part was that he liked them. He encouraged you to use more.

hyunjin: sleep well? y/n: i did, just ate some breakfast hyunjin: yum! y/n: how's your morning been so far hyunjin: perfect now that i'm talking to you

Seeing that text made your heart tug and caused a small outburst on a nearby pillow. It didn't deserve to be hit so many times, but you couldn't contain the cuteness aggression. Also, a little bit of frustration.

y/n: stop itttt!!! making me blush hyunjin: that's my charm y/n: your charm is looking like a cute ferret hyunjin: oh yeah?

Just as you sent the message, you scrolled through your phone for a few photos you had saved of ferrets the night before. Selecting a few and pressing send, the two of you delved into a discussion on his ferret-like looks.

Turns out, he could carry a conversation talking about what animals you both looked like the most for longer than expected. By the time you realized how long you'd been at it, it had almost been half an hour.

y/n: wait. aren't you supposed to be at work by now?? not texting me about ferrets hyunjin: oh yeah, about that hyunjin: i took today off, was thinking we could spend some time together and go out

This was strange, to say the least. Hyunjin was normally quite engrossed in making sure his work was finished. A few months back, you had to convince him to call out of work when he had a high fever and could hardly stand up from his bed.

y/n: what's gotten into you so suddenly hyunjin: what do you mean? y/n: you? hwang hyunjin? calling out of work for me? hyunjin: well of course, why wouldn't i y/n: idk

It took a few tries of writing out variants of 'you're not my boyfriend' before settling on the text you sent. Such official behaviors by a man so scared of labels drove you mad. It was almost perfect, almost.

hyunjin: talk to me y/n: later, okay? hyunjin: how about when i take you out then? y/n: sure

Being so bland over text made a pain swell up in your chest. You wanted to be open and honest with him, but pushing him past his limits had grown to be a massive fear in your mind. The harder part would be figuring out what to say.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to tell him. You'd found Hyunjin to be one of the most understanding people to walk to earth. The last time you'd pushed at all for labels was almost three months ago and you'd given up since.

What was there to say, anyways? 'I want you to be my boyfriend or I'll explode'? It was certainly accurate to how your mind had made it seem. The idea of being exclusive with Hyunjin was exhilarating but terrifying.

hyunjin: can i come get you in an hour? y/n: yes

You turned your phone off and set it face-down, sighing and looking at the ceiling. The uncertainty was building, but you had made a decision: it was time to ask. You couldn't keep dancing around the issue. You had serious feelings for him.

So, you kept checking the time as it grew closer and closer to when Hyunjin would come get you. With thirty minutes left, you were already dressed and finishing getting ready. Your heart raced at the thought of him.

The minutes dragged on, but the time finally came. Feeling a ringing buzz in your pocket, you saw his name and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" His voice came from the other end of the line.

You slightly smiled at the sound of him, but responded. "Hey. Are you outside?"

"Yeah, you can come down now, if you're ready."

"Alright, I'll see you in a minute."

Hanging up the call, you composed yourself to the best of your ability and headed down towards him. The wait as you took the elevator was tense, but the second you stepped out of the building and saw him everything else fell away.

Every time you saw him, it was like the first time all over again. His long, black hair and defined features had your heart in a twist. You approached him with a smile on your face, and one matching on his own. He pulled you into a tight hug, smelling his perfume.

"Hey," He said, his voice muffled into your shirt, "How's your day been?"

You pulled away and smiled at him, taking his hand in your own, "I've been okay, missing you like I always do."

Hyunjin chuckled, reaching his free hand up and stroking your cheek softly. "I've missed you, too. That's really why I called out today."

"You missed me that much?"

"Of course."

Before you could bring anything else up, he was calling you over to his car. He had a cafe he planned on showing you, telling you a bit about it as he began to drive towards it. The whole way, you caught him sneaking glances over at you from the driver's seat.

When he pulled into the parking lot outside of the cafe, he opened your door for you and walked you inside, his fingers laced with yours. He read over the menu with you, pointing out a few things that sounded good to him and a few he thought you'd like.

You picked out an order and he was quick to get to the register, paying for both of you without a second thought. You found a table as he waited and brought you drinks, sitting down right opposite you.

"So," He said with a sigh as he took a sip of his drink, "I was worried about you this morning."

"Worried?" You looked at him slightly puzzled, "What would you have to be worried about?"

"You were just.. distant. I could tell when you suddenly texted differently, and I was scared I said something to upset you."

"Oh." You looked up from your drink at him, seeing the way his eyes gazed back fondly into yours. This was the opportunity, if there ever was any.

You took another long drink and took a breath to stabilize. "Hyunjin, I've been thinking about us. I guess I first have to ask you, what are we?"

Hyunjin frowned slightly and you watched his hands fidget on top of the table. "That's.. not an easy question to answer. You're an amazing person I like to be around all the time. That's all I know."

You felt your heartstrings pull. "Hyunjin, I want more than that. I'm done with just being someone you hang out with and buy all sorts of things. I really like being around you, and I really like you. But I can't keep pretending we're dating in my head when we aren't."

Hyunjin looked at you silently, his expression utterly unreadable. His eyes were slightly widened, and you could only see his uncertainty.

You continued, "I can't do this constant push-and-pull, Jinnie. I want to be yours, and if I can't be that then I need to move on and save my own feelings. I'm sorry."

With that, you set your own hands on the table across from his, looking at him. He sat for almost thirty seconds without speaking, looking down at the table and then back up at you.

"I.. don't really know what to say."

You held your breath, but he continued on after a second of silence. "I've been unfair to you, I know. With my last relationship, I had so many doubts and fears.. I was just so comfortable in having us. I didn't want to worry about labels.

"I never realized that's not really what you wanted. It's not your fault that I didn't. So, don't say sorry. I'm sorry. I can't lie and say it's not a bit scary to say, but I like you too. A lot. So much it made me stupid. So I'll be yours. If you'll have me."

You couldn't contain the smile that spread out onto your face, and his followed. He reached across the table and took your hand in his, and you couldn't help but feel like crying. "Hyunjin.."

"Please be mine. I swear, I'll be a better boyfriend than I was a weird situationship."

You nodded vigorously. "Of course I'll have you," You said through a choked-up laugh, "Do you know how many times I almost introduced you to my friends as my boyfriend?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Well, now you can! I just.. I wanted to take it slow, but I guess I didn't stop to ask you how you were feeling after we first decided that."

You stood up from the table and he did as well, pulling you into a tight hug. "Thank you for putting up with me," Hyunjin's voice shook slightly, "And letting me be your boyfriend."

You pulled away from the hug and nodded. "Thank you for understanding when I said something. And, you know, being my boyfriend."

Hyunjin snickered softly and pulled you into a kiss. Maybe it wasn't so bad, after all.

#hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #stray kids #skz #stray kids x reader #skz imagines #skz fic #stray kids imagines

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sc0tters · 1 year

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Misconceptions and Confrontations | Jack Hughes

summary: you and Jack had never gotten on with each other but as Quinn’s best friend you were always at the lake house. So what happens when Jack thinks that there is something going on with you and Trevor?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, fingering, swearing, use of y/n once.

word count: 2.7k

authors note: I came up with this idea at like 3 in the morning so that’s when half of it was written. I wasn’t even halfway through writing this when someone requested a different Jack smut but I liked this way too much to delete it. So there’s another one coming soon!

pt 2 | pt 3

You wouldn't sleep with him if he was the last man on earth.

Jack had practically been your archenemy since you were seven and he was six. It was that moment that he yanked at your pigtail pulling you off of the swing on the playset that you two were destined to never get along.

Funnily enough it was that same moment when Quinn helped you up that set you two on the path to being best friends.

Now Jack was 22 and you were 23 and neither one of you seemed to have any intentions on beginning to like each other any time soon.

Your relationship didn't improve when you went off to college and he went off to the development team, in fact, it seemed that now Jack only getting the time you spent together during the summers his attempts at irritating you increased tenfold.

You didn't know how a family as amazing as the Hughes' could land up with the devils spawn as a child especially when the other two were good normal people. But nevertheless you always had to remain civil with the boy for the sake of your relationship with Quinn and for your mother's relationship with Ellen.

The two moms swore three years into their eldest children's friendship that the duo would get together. It took two months after the swing incident for you two to be practically attached by the hip. Everyone just assumed that Jack had a crush on you and that's why he was acting in that way to you, the real truth though was that he simply enjoyed pissing you off.

He loved the way he was almost always guaranteed a reaction from you, even if it was the smirk that you'd send him as you would watch Quinn shut his bedroom door in his brothers face.

The Hughes family lake house was the only place you willingly went each year even when you knew that Jack was going to be there too.

This year however and much to Jacks dismay you found yourself flirting with Trevor on more than one occasion.

Trevor had been notorious for flirting with you at the house throughout the years, but this was the first that you weren't telling him to find someone interested. He was dedicated you had to give him that much.

Jack used to love watching as you would turn him down but now he was just trying to refrain from letting the contents of his stomach from coming out of his mouth each time he would catch you two. At the start of the first week it was simple hand touching, you would run your fingers along a part of the Ducks players body. But now you were sitting on his lap and had even gone as far as feed him some watermelon at one point.

As childish as it may have sounded the boy wished that his brother would step in and separate them. Jack was surprised that Quinn was so calm at the cozy sight of you and Trevor.

Little did Jack know, the only reason why Quinn was so relaxed about it all was that he really didn't care who you dated. Sure he wanted him to be a good guy, and knowing where Trevor lived made it a lot easier if he ever needed to hurt him for hurting you.

The Devils player had been so caught up in his annoyance for what was going on the he didn't even realise that the one day when he walked past the room you were in and he heard the sounds of your moans Jack thought you were with his best friend. But if he had stayed in that hallway for a second or two longer, he would have realised that you were alone and it was your hand that was getting you off.

The final night at the lake house had quickly come upon the group and to celebrate you guys used Jack and Quinn's lake house to throw a party.

The event had been a total success, drinks were pouring, people were singing, even Quinn was dancing at one point in the night. But one thing you always noticed was the way that Jack just glared at Trevor. Even when the prettiest girl at the lake tried to talk to the middle Hughes boy his eyes didn't move.

You thought that it was childish from the devils player, somehow he had been able to avoid saying a single word to you the entire night yet he still managed to get under your skin.

So when Jack made his way upstairs presumably to the bathroom you followed wanting to give him a talking to "I'll be right back," you mumbled squeezing Trevor's thigh as you left your space on the couch on the tail of the forward.

The bathroom door almost shut but you were able to get you hand in the way of it "what the hell is your problem?" You asked clearly letting the alcohol that was in your system cloud your judgement.

Jacks eyes went wide as he looked at you "you're the one who walked in on me," he reminded her feeling like he wasn't the person who should have been receiving questions.

You grumbled something incoherent under your breath "you keep on glaring at Z when he's done nothing wrong!" You yelled at the younger boy as you shut the bathroom door behind you, making sure to lock it in the process.

You didn't want him to leave before the conversation ended "you're the one who's sleeping with him." The hockey player shot back as he began to pee not caring that you were still there.

If there had been about four shots less of vodka in your system maybe you would have left "I'm not sleeping with him," you furrowed your eyebrows at the accusation wondering where it could have possibly came from.

That announcement both made Jack feel lighter but also like he wanted to shove his head in the sand "you were the one I heard walk past!" You let out a gasp as he washed his hands.

The devils player had never been soft footed "you heard me?" He asked letting the soft fabric of the towel dry his hands.

You snickered to yourself as you leaned against the door "should have known it was you," your voice was soft as you shook your head "if it was Z he would have done something about it." The jab at him made him quickly close any distance between you two.

He pressed his lips into a fine line "Trevor is an action man, you aren't." You shrugged as you locked eyes with him seeing how his scowl hardened honestly made your knees buckle.

You knew that when you woke up in the next morning anything that happened from this moment on, you were blaming on the alcohol.

Jack ignored the alarm bells that rang in his head as his mouth watered at the sight of your lips "yeah I am," he pouted almost hurt by your statement.

It was this specific moment that you crossed the point of no return "prove it." And with those seven letters his lips were on yours, tongues clashed in a messy fight that against was going to be blamed on the alcohol.

He tapped your leg motioning for you to jump as he hooked his hands under your legs before he took you to the counter and let you sit in it "love this dress." He confessed as his hands ran up your thighs going dangerously close to your core.

You let out a moan as your stomach felt on fire “do something already.” You complained as your pulled away from him wanting to clench your legs together at the view of his now swollen lower lip.

Jack smirked as he ran his fingers through your hair “patience is a virtue sweetheart,” he repeated one of your favourite lines that you used to tell him when he would rush you to get out of the bathroom at the lake house.

Furrowing your eyebrows you sent him a glare “I’m sure Z would be happy to fu-” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before Jack shoved two of his fingers into your mouth “suck,” he groaned at the sight of your lips wrapping around the two digits practically treating it like you were sucking a dick.

So you let your tongue swirl around the fingers as you contemplated all of your actions. But before you could continue his fingers were pulling from your mouth “fuck,” fell from his lips as he watched the trail of saliva break and land on your breasts.

The hockey player placed his other hand on your cheek “got warm you up for my cock okay?” When your head repeatedly nodded he took your lips into a kiss before he pulled your panties to the side easing his fingers into your core.

His were longer and thicker than yours so you were feeling things that you had never known that you could feel just from being fingered “shit.” Your head fell back giving the boy access to your neck where he peppered it in kissing.

Eyes screwed shut you knew that it was game over the second he placed his thumb on your clit. You were actually rather surprised that he not only knew where it was but also knew what to do with it. But the thoughts shit talking him quickly stopped when he placed the perfect amount of pressure on the little bud.

Jack smirked as he looked at the sight of you “what would Quinn say if he knew that you were up here about to get fucked?” He asked angling his fingers different as he hopped to make you feel a new type of sensations.

Most days you had a problem using your filter “he would probably think that it was Z doing it,” you matched the chuffed look that was on his face.

But that look quickly dropped when the boy pulled his fingers out of you “up,” he mumbled as he motioned to you to get off of the counter.

You face turned into one of confusing as you listened to him “you’re gonna watch yourself get fucked,” he explained as he raised your dress up to your stomach so that he could pull your panties down.

The lace hit the ground as Jack went to a black box that was in a drawer to get a condom “you knew you were gonna get fucked tonight huh?” You asked seeing his shorts fall down with his boxers to reveal his fully hardened cock.

Your mouth watered as you tried to remain calm “something tells me you’ve been wanting this,” the boy teased as he rolled the condom over his cock.

You gripped at the countertop in front of you “you wanna hurry up and do it then or what?” You grumbled growing impatient.

For what ever reason Jack just found this amusing “always had such a mouth on you,” he muttered placing a kiss on your neck before he locked eyes with you in the mirror “you sure you want this?” The boy ran his protected cock over your clit a few times “Jack if you don’t hurry up I swear to-” you were quickly cut off as he grounded his hips into yours.

Your head fell forward “god,” you groaned as he stopped moving giving you the time to adjust to his size.

He leaned forward “it’s just me honey,” he placed a warm kiss below your earlobe.

If he wasn’t currently deep inside of you, you would have rolled you eyes at him but you feared what it would cause him to do “just move please.” You begged as you were desperate to some form of a release today.

Jack nodded grabbing onto your hips as he began to slid in and out of you “you like getting fucked when all of your friends are downstairs?” He asked smirking as he watched your boobs bounce each time he thrusted inside of you as you had decided to forgo a bra with your dress.

Your mind was hazy “words or I stop honey,” the boy warned causing your eyes to snap open.

Met with the sight of his cock grounding you out repeatedly you couldn’t help it when you shuddered “you fuck me so good,” you called out not being able to take your eyes off of the mirror.

Without a single moment of care you were continuing to stroke his ego “like watching what it is like to be fucked good?” He sucked at your neck in an attempt to mark you that actually ended up causing you to clench around him “like this pussy was made for me.” Jack groaned as his head rested on the crook of your neck swearing that nobody could ever make him feel that good every again.

You were in this state of bliss as your legs began to wobble. You moved your one hand from the counter to your clit as you were desperate to feel some your orgasm fast “move your hand,” Jack warned but you never listened.

So he repeated himself again but this time making sure to softly tap your hand “move your hand before I fucking stop,” his tone was serious enough to cause you to listen letting your hand move back to the counter that it was once on.

Of course though the hockey player didn’t leave your clit unattended as his hand had taken over what you had been doing “you keep clenching around me like that and I’m gonna come,” he confessed not realising just how close you actually were.

You sucked at your teeth trying to come up with a way to say it “I’m gonna,” you announced cutting yourself off with a moan as you could feel the way that his dick throbbed inside of you.

The sound was like music to the boys ears “not yet,” he shook his head as he wanted to push you a little bit further.

Jack didn’t know when he would get another cause to do this so he wasn’t going to let the opportunity just roll past him “be a good girl and wait for me.” His tone was stern as he sped up his pace wanting to join you in that state.

It felt like mission impossible, you couldn’t hold on even if you tried “I can’t,” you now had tears welling in your eyes as you were teetering on the fine like between coming and not.

For the first time since he started fucking you, Jack had left your his alone as he had one hand on your clit and the other had just moved into your hair.

He tugged at it causing you head to rear against his shoulder. You two were now looking at each other directly, no mirror between you, no nothing. So he leaned down “come for me,” his words were soft and just as your mouth opened to let out a moan he captured your lips in a kiss. The hockey player fucked you through your orgasm and just as yours ended and you clenched around him for the longest time that you had yet, it spurred on his own orgasm.

You pulled away from him “Jack,” you whimpered out as the feeling of overstimulation was quickly approaching you.

It caused the boy to laugh as he slid out of you “enjoyed that?” He asked with a smirk as he placed you back on the bathroom counter when your legs began to act like jelly.

Before you could respond there was a knock at the door “Jack?” It was Quinn’s voice and it caused your eyes to go wide.

Jack almost forgot to respond as he was still taking in your post fuck look “yeah,” he groaned as you had kicked his knee.

Quinn had been searching for you for the last five minutes “you know where y/n is?” He asked desperately trying to find you.

You had to hold in a gasp as you were worried what the middle Hughes brother might say “haven’t seen her,” the Devils player lied as he sent you a smirk.

The look he sent you was silently saying you owe me.

So something made her realise that whatever this was with Jack wasn’t going to be over just yet.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes x you #jack hughes smut #nhl smut #hockey smut #nhl imagine #nhl oneshot #hockey imagine #oneshots #imagines #amber writes fics

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art · 2 years

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Creator Spotlight: @tinypaint

My name is Michelle Fus. I’m a Jewish, non-binary artist. I graduated from the School of Visual Arts for Computer Art and Animation in 2011. I’ve interned at Pixar and worked for a few years at Dreamworks Animation. Over the past ten years, I’ve self-published two books and have run three successful Kickstarters. I now work with Skybound (The Walking Dead, Invincible) in developing my webcomic, Ava’s Demon, as a physical book series for stores. I like hiking, cultivating plants, caring for my cats, and hanging out with my beautiful husband. You can read my webcomic at avasdemon.com.

Check out our interview with Michelle below!

How did you get your start in art, and more specifically, with Ava's Demon?

I’ve always been into art since I was very young. I started to gravitate towards it in first grade, where we were required to keep a daily journal. I found myself drawing in it more than actually keeping entries. From there, I got more and more interested in honing my skills as an artist. I started making my own comics for fun. I signed up for classes outside of school and put together a portfolio for the School of Visual Arts, where I majored in Computer Art and Animation. After getting my first job in the field, I realized that it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. After working my day job, I would come home and work towards building a career in comics for myself by creating and uploading my webcomic, Ava’s Demon.

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?

Looking things up to learn more before I make art or write. For instance, how many livable planets are in a Galaxy? What does a black hole actually look like, and can it give off light? How long would it actually take to travel through space if you had the fastest ship possible? I look up all of these things and then ignore most of them for the sake of writing a fun story and making fun art.

From idea to final piece, how long does it take for you to create something?

It depends on the feeling I want to convey. Sometimes I’ll work for a whole week on a drawing and then delete it because I just don’t feel good about it. Other times I’ll make something in a day that I absolutely love from beginning to end. Some drawings I never delete nor finish, and instead, the files just kind of sit in a folder. The time it takes varies a lot.

Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

I really love good stories. So movies and books with captivating stories usually motivate and inspire me; stories that stay with you permanently, with twists and turns that you can’t stop thinking about. I also love finding characters whose struggles I can deeply relate to. I try to hold onto those feelings and emulate them through my art.

What is the hardest part of your process?

Actually finishing a drawing. The anxiety of it piles on me sometimes. I’ll work for a while on a drawing and constantly ask myself, “Is this drawing really finished? What terrible things about it am I not seeing?”. My desire to avoid making something terrible can sometimes put me in a mental prison where I keep chipping away at a drawing until I no longer know what I am looking at.

What is one interaction you had from a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

In general, I like letting young artists in middle school, and high school know that I wasn’t very good at art at their age (I really wasn’t, I didn’t have the same resources they have now, and I didn’t have any perspective on what it takes to have a career in art, it’s a different world). Kids have come to me at conventions with their work for critique and advice, and I have to tell them that they’re already miles ahead of what I could make at their age. I have to tell them that it’s okay if they can’t make what all the professionals make online, to know that they have SO much time ahead of them to work at what they love. If you love making art, do it often, study art throughout history, and over time you’ll be able to create everything your heart desires.

What is something other people find hard to draw that you find enjoyable?

I have no idea. Sometimes it feels like drawing anything is suffering, even if you like what you’re making.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@loish has been consistently inspiring me since my days in high school. Every new painting has so much grace and power and is so excellent to look at. Her skill in shape and form seems limitless, and I hope to someday achieve even a small fraction of her understanding of art. Seeing her new work on my timeline also makes my dopamine spike, so I’m always looking forward to updates from her.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Michelle! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @tinypaint and follow their webcomic, Ava’s Demon, over at avasdemon.com.

#creator spotlight #artists on tumblr #webcomics #michelle fus #ava's demon

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incogrio · 3 months

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h.kai - send off part two ～*° °。｡

pairing: huening kai x fem bodied reader

genre: fluff, angst, SMUT!!

synopsis: a month has gone by since your dreamy encounter with huening kai. and he hasn’t said a word to you.

warnings: sad in the beginning, general smut warnings, eating out, slightly public smut, sub! kai, dom!ish reader, inaccurate depictions of huening kai’s head game

w/c: 2.5k+

a/n: ONE person asked for a part two (yk who u are) and i once again, was possessed by the ningdungie inside me. and kai inside me. so uhhh yeah enjoy pookies.

part one

COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK HEAVILY APPRECIATED!

it had been days since your dreamy encounter with huening kai had burnt itself into your skull. you found yourself giggling when imagining his smile, unable to fall asleep as you awaited his text. but it never came.

on the morning after your meeting with him, you sent him a friendly: “hi!”. you hadn’t expected a response immediately, he is a busy idol after all. but after three days, you had started to grow worried. what if he got in trouble with his staff? did he realize his mistake in trusting you and change his number?

you decided to send another text: “i hope you’re eating and resting well!” radio silence. nothing but your anxiety plaguing your mind. you had fallen for him so quickly, and now every time you’d seek comfort, you’d find yourself thinking about what could have been. your comfort is now your plague, and you sob into your pillow.

a month has gone by. by this point, you’ve accepted his disappearance. you send him messages everyday; treating his number like your personal diary.

“i had ramen today, but the noodles were kind of hard.” [delivered: 12:34 PM]

“i haven’t been able to sleep recently, thinking of you too much.” [delivered: 4:37 AM]

“today a girl complimented my outfit! i was so happy i could barely even say thank you haha!!” [delivered: 6:13 PM]

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [read: 2:48 AM]

you thought you were hallucinating. you must’ve stayed on that chat for hours, refreshing and refreshing. now you were the one giving him silence.

it made hyuka’s stomach churn. he had been fighting with his members and the staff for the past month, desperately trying to convince them that he was not threatened, that he did not need to change his number, and that he did see a relationship with you. every night, he’d sob as he read your messages. he knew he couldn’t begin a relationship if he would have to break it off, but this hurt more. your constant wondering of his affections, your desperate attempts to get him to say something, anything. it made him want to throw up. he could only imagine the look on your face as he delivered you your thoughts, once more.

but today, today he did it. today they agreed to let him at the very least commune with you online. huening had sprinted to the nearest bathroom, locking himself in and pressing his back to the door, sinking till his butt softly touching the cold tiles under him. he opened your chat, frowning at your most recent text.

“i wonder why you gave me this number. was it a prank?” [delivered: 12:56 AM]

his hands shook as he tapped your contact, turning on read receipts for the first time. he didn’t know when you had seen the change, but he knew that you suddenly gave him a taste of his own medicine. he didn’t know what to say. what to do. his thumbs shook as he typed out a message, before deleting it.

“oh.” [read: 3:01 AM]

he jumps, eyes widening. he quickly types without thinking.

“i promise i can explain. let me meet with you. please.” he responds, to which you see it immediately. on your end, you’re on borderline tears. for a month, all you had wanted to see was his response. his notification. and now that you have it, you didn’t even know what to do with it.

“okay. meet me at the bench where we first exchanged numbers.” [read: 3:02 AM]

“okay! thank you. i’m on my way now!!(*^^*)♡” you rolled your eyes at his kaomoji with a slight smile on your face. you got up slowly, before tugging on the quickest outfit and bursting through your door and down to the lobby of your apartment building.

you deserved an explanation, but you would fold the moment you saw his bright blue hair. you tried your best to discipline yourself as you walked through the slightly humid streets, slowly making your way to the now empty concert venue.

huening types out his speech as he walks, slowly nearing where he had met you. he takes a deep breath as he turns the corner, seeing you sitting on a bench whilst looking around expectantly.

he sneaks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder once more. “hi,” he says, his voice shaking out of nerves.

you turn around, getting a strange sense of deja vu. do not fold, you tell yourself. “hey. so…”

hyuka clears his throat, reaching into his pocket and shakily opening his phone. he reads off the note he wrote, “i-i know you are angry with me. and you have every right to be, but i need to at least explain to you-“

“kai, what are you doing?” he looks up.

“wh- i’m… i wrote it in advance, so i wouldn’t forget anything… i’m.. is that rude?” he asks, reaching up and scratching the back of his neck softly.

you sigh. you reach for his phone and place it back into his pocket, before taking his hand and leading him to sit next to you.

“i agreed to hear you out, kai, not your notes app. please, you do not need to be perfect around me.” you mutter reassuringly, yet sternly.

he feels himself tearing up, his lip wobbling softly. he looks at you as the wind blows your hair softly and the street light illuminates your skin. an angel, he thinks to himself. my angel.

“oh- okay! s-so, i was not ignoring you. i was reading your messages! it’s just that i was sort of fighting with everyone at hybe to convince them that you’re NOT a saesang- not- not that you seem like one it’s just that when an idol gives out their number they tend to think that- that they had to give it away and that was NOT the case and- and so i basically has to convince them to not change my number and it was so fucking hard and i JUST-“

you smile to yourself softly, “kai. kai! take a breath. i’m not going anywhere.” you take a deep breath, and he follows.

“and… and i just got them to agree that you are worth it and…” he looks down at his hands, playing with them. “and i didn’t want to start a relationship with you until i was sure it would work out.” he mutters, his voice becoming warbling more and more by the second. “i’m so sorry-“ he can barely get out, before he breaks into sobs. you immediately hug him, taking his head and tucking it into your neck, cradling him.

“oh hyuks…” you mutter, softly kissing his head. “you hurt me a lot,” you explain, and he whines softly into your neck, “but… i understand. i do. you don’t need to worry. cry if you need to, but not because i’m leaving.” you whisper as passersby begin to look over. a six foot tall broad man being cradled in the arms of someone significantly smaller than him is not a usual sight.

after a few seconds, he softly calms into a sniffle. “i don’t deserve you.” he mutters, playing with the hem of your shirt and staying at his position of being wrapped around you.

you hum, “you don’t know how many people disagree with you.”

he untucks his head from your neck before slowly lifting a hand to your cheek. his eyes flick between your eyes to your lips, a silent question.

you aren’t even through your first nod before he launches forward, kissing you like he needed oxygen from your lips. you wrap your arms around his neck, moaning softly as he bites your lip. he smiles against your mouth in satisfaction, before tilting his head to kiss you deeper. both of you begin to run out of breath, and neither of you find it in you to care. his lips are salty, drenched in his tears. you are addicted to their taste. he whines softly, pushing you back in a desperate attempt to get closer to you. you slowly lean back, before your head softly hits the arm rest of the bench.

you pull away, despite hyuka’s attempt to follow you. you breathe heavily in each others faces, and kai grins at you.

“i have waited so…” he leans down and presses kisses to your neck and jaw, “so long..” he says lowly. you bite your lip, attempting to hold back a moan as he sucks a hickey onto your neck.

“oh my- kai!” you push against his broad shoulders. “we’re in public!”

he pulls away, pulling you up with him. “we… we could be in private. if you want…” he says, eyes drifting to the street that leads to the hotel he’s staying at, before snapping back to you. it’s as though he cannot bare to not have you in his sight.

“won’t people see us?” you ask, slightly confused as to how he was able to get here, apologize and make out with you all without being recognized. he bites his lip in thought, before his eyes light up.

“do you care where we go?” he asks, eyebrows crinkling up in question.

“…i mean… i guess not…” you state, the syllables turning up at the end in slight confusion.

the last place you expected him to lead you was his tour bus. you stare at him incredulously as he unlocks the door, leading you in hand in hand. you marvel at the expensive equipment.

“kai we are not fucking in your tour bus! what if we don’t clean up well and one of your members notices? we should just go home separately and sext or something-“

he cups your cheeks. “i will make sure everything is fine. there’s a bathroom with enough supplies to clean, i have my own bunk bed. you don’t have to worry baby.” he responds reassuringly. “but, if you don’t want to then that’s fine. we could get some froyo instead? does that sound good?” he says smiling, before walking towards the tour bus door.

god, respectful men are so hot.

you tug his hand, pulling him back. “please,” you mumble, looking away like a child.

he smirks. “please what?” he asks smugly, you know he knows what, and he knows he knows what. he just wanted to hear you say it.

“please… please fuck me kai… went a whole month without you, didn’t talk to or even look at anyone else… only…” he begins kissing your neck, “only you kai… please, i’ve been so good for you..” you moan out.

his fingertips squeeze your waist tightly, pushing you back until you hit a small kitchen counter. he reaches up and softly wraps his hand around your throat, eyebrows raising as he asks for your consent. you respond by placing your hand over his and pushing his hand tighter around your neck. he groans before you launch forward, first kissing his lips down to his neck.

“no,” he says sternly, pulling you back by the neck. “no kissing anywhere but my lips. you cannot leave a mark.” he says seriously. god, him being an idol really sucked sometimes.

you pout at him, looking at him through your eyelashes, “nowhere… else..?” you ask, eyes showing disappointment as he tells you that you can’t mark him up and show everyone he was yours.

he smiles at you reassuringly, cupping your cheek and running his thumb across your cheekbone. “i am still yours, marked or not,” he mutters, slowly leaning closer and brushing his lips against yours by tilting his head up momentarily, silently asking if you felt better. you responded by leaning forward, kissing him softly, making sure he felt all the love you had been longing to give him for a month.

he groans against your mouth, fingers digging into your waist as he grows needer. “fuck… need,,” he mumbles, pressing kisses down your neck, “need to taste you, baby. please,” he makes his way down your sternum, “i’ve been so good, haven’t i… baby..?” he looks up from his crouched spot in between your breasts through his eyelids, watching you watch him. you nod, reaching down and moving his hair out his eyes.

he slowly sinks to his knees, licking his lips as he pressed kisses to your plush belly.

a small , ‘mmm’, escaped him as he felt your stomach sink momentarily at his kiss before plushing up once more.

“kai…” you sigh out, before reaching your hand into his hair and tugging him to look up at you, “you need to hurry up.” the stern tone in your voice had caught him off guard, but made his pants ever tighter around his growing bulge.

his bit his lip, looking down at the waist band of your skirt with hungry eyes. he nods, humming a approving tune and muttering out ‘sorry baby.’ over and over. he finally reaches up to your skirt and tugs it down harshly, the cold hair making your legs prickle up with goosebumps.

he almost drools at the sight of your underwear. kai cannot contain himself any longer, launching himself forward to mouth at your clothed clit. he moans to himself as you tighten your grip on his blue hair, muttering soft praises into the otherwise silent tour bus.

it wasn’t long before he reached up, pulling your panties for the side with one hand and shoving your leg over his shoulder with the other. you brace yourself, but nothing could have prepared you for his lips immediately wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly at your swollen nub. you have lost all sense of dignity and pride, choosing to replace it with kai. kai. kai. kai. you moan out, slightly placing your weight against the counter, fighting the leg on his shoulder to wrap around his head. tugging him ever closer.

“f..fuck kai! so good..” you moan, breathing heavily as he runs his tongue up and down your folds, alternating between pistoning his organ into your hole and swirling and sucking at your clit.

he lets out moans every few moments, sending your hips bucking into his face, “don’t you dare stop, hyu..hyuka..”

he shakes his head against your pussy, fervently telling you that no, he will not stop. not until you’re shaking and his entire face is drenched in your fluids.

and even then, even when you were shaking, desperately trying to get him away from your pulsating pussy, he kept going.

“fuck!! kai! please, i came… please stop!” you borderline shout, the overstimulation driving you crazy as you almost climb onto the counter to get away from his skillful tongue.

finally, a pussy drunk kai pulls away. he breathes heavily, your juices covering from his chin to the bridge of his nose, the window behind you making him glisten.

“sorry,” he muttered half heartedly with his nerdy little voice. you chose to completely lay down on the counter, regaining your sense of reality.

you chuckle, “that was.. kind of crazy.”

“good crazy?” he asked, standing up and rubbing your thighs comfortably.

“mhm,” you mutter, sitting up and reaching your hand to palm his bulge. kai immediately turns bright red, looking at the floor rather than you.

it was wet. drenched, actually. he had already cum. not just once, but twice whilst feeding on you.

he had half expected you to laugh at him, call him a bitchless loser and shame him. instead you kissed him, “such a good boy to cum while pleasing me..”

oh. oh you had unlocked a beast. he growls against your lips, picking you up and shoving you onto one of the small bunk beds in the bus.

“i’ll show you what a good boy i can be.”

epilogue:

kai had at least had the decency to bring you to his hotel room after the staff and members had all gone to sleep. you deserved a good nights sleep after all.

he had helped you limp into the bathroom, where you now sat on the toilet, back leaned against the wall.

he was in between your legs once more, but with a softer intention this time. he softly wiped your folds free of any residue, shushing you everytime you whined at the overstimulation.

“better?” he asked, getting up and wetting his toothbrush, squeezing toothpaste onto its bristles and holding you by your chin. he softly tugged at your chin, encouraging you to open your mouth. he smiled softly when you tiredly obeyed, and began cleaning your mouth.

you stared at him with wide, fucked out eyes. he would glance at you every few moments, before going back to focusing on your teeth. a small, flustered smile lingered on his mouth, and pink dusted his cheeks everytime.

after you were clean, you watched him brush his own teeth with the same toothbrush. you didn’t have it in you to complain.

it wasn’t long before he had you change into his clothes, to which his heart soared after seeing you dawning his shark hoodie, boxers and basketball shorts. he softly tucked you next to him into the hotel bed that smelled so comfortably of him, smiling to himself as you tucked your head into his neck. he squeezed you impossibly closer.

god he loved- wait… was he falling in love with you?

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katebishopsbow · 11 months

Text

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU • OSCAR PIASTRI

pairing: oscar piastri x mclaren!reader

summary: you decided to write down a list of 10 things you hated about oscar piastri in an attempt to get over your crush on him when he revealed that he had recently gotten a girlfriend. two things didn't go as planned: the list didn't work, and he found out about it.

tags: hurt/comfort, unrequited love (hmm...)

word count: 3.4k

(image is not mine)

─────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

Oscar Piastri was perfect in every single way.

Being part of the McLaren team for the past year meant that you had gotten rather close to the two papaya drivers, and somewhere along the lines, bonds formed and friendships blossomed. Then something more started to appear despite your best efforts to deny it, and you found yourself falling head over heels for a certain Australian boy.

One thing about him that was far from perfect though – it turned out that he had a girlfriend. They met two months ago just over the Summer, and when Summer break was over and the team came back to work to prepare for the rest of the season, he had broken the news to you and Lando that he started dating this nice girl named Lily.

You were not one to sabotage people’s relationships, so you swallowed down all your feelings toward Oscar and swore that you would try your hardest to keep them hidden from the world. Still, getting over such strong feelings for someone you cared for dearly was never easy, so you came up with the brilliant idea of writing a list.

10 things you hate about Oscar Piastri.

You would write down all the little things you disliked about him, and by the time you completed the list and scoped out all his flaws, your feelings for him should definitely have disappeared. It had to work, right?

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

1. I hate Oscar’s hair

You hated the way he styled his sandy brown hair – it looked the same every single day and for some reason, that annoyed the hell out of you. Whenever he pulled off his helmet after a race, his hair would be messy, disheveled, and annoyingly handsome that it made your blood boil. You absolutely hated it when he would rake his fingers through them and instead of messing his hair up, it would only seem to look effortlessly better than before.

2. I hate Oscar’s dry sense of humor

Oscar had one of the oddest sense of humor you had ever encountered in your life. His jokes were so lame and out-of-pocket that sometimes you and Lando honestly had no idea how to react. You three could be having a normal conversation when he would suddenly come up with some weird one-liner that made you two stare at him in utter confusion – and you hated how precious you found this about him and how you always seemed to cackle up despite how unfunny he was.

Maybe your sense of humor was just as dry as his, because more often than not you would find yourself laughing along with him, and then Lando somehow would join in on the laughter as well until you three became nothing but a giggling mess. It filled your heart with so much joy – how great it was to be blessed with these amazing people as your friends, to have Oscar Piastri and his stupidly bad jokes in your life.

3. I hate Oscar’s smile

The Australian driver was always so stoic and calm that his smile used to be a rare occurrence in the team – until you had befriended him after working together for a while, and then the boy never seemed to stop smiling. You wondered how someone could be so cheery all the time, flashing his bright smiles here and there. You hated the giddiness that filled your chest when he smiled at you, but what you hated the most was the tight-lipped smile that he forced on his face when things were not going his way.

You could still remember the day Oscar was told mid-interview that his lap time got deleted due to exceeding track limits and was demoted to P6 – the forced smile on his face and how hard he tried not to let his emotions show on live TV. Then when he came back to the Mclaren Garage, the smile was still there as he pretended not to be affected by the news and acted all jolly in front of the team members just to keep morale high. You hated it because it ached you to see him putting up a front, to not be able to show his realest emotions to the world, and the fact that behind that smile was a boy who blamed himself for everything.

4. I hate that Oscar is always blaming himself for things out of his control

You would consider Oscar an intelligent person, but he could never seem to get it through his head that some things were simply not his fault – like when there had been a problem with the engine that caused the car to be undrivable, or when another driver turned into him and left him no choice but to retire due to car damage. But Oscar would always find ways to blame himself, to somehow find his fault in it and what he should have done better to avoid making mistakes. You hated the way he was constantly so harsh on himself, and you wished he could realize that he didn’t have to shoulder all the blame alone.

5. I hate how hardworking Oscar is

He was one of the greatest, most determined athletes you had ever known. Being a rookie in his first season of F1, he knew he had to work harder than anyone else to be able to compete with the more seasoned and experienced drivers on the grid. So he trained hard – waking up before sunrise for the gym, spending hours on the track perfecting his technique, staying up late to analyze data and rewatch his races. His relentless work ethic and unwavering determination to prove himself to the world and achieve success in the sport were irrefutably admirable, but it pained you to see him overworking himself to such unhealthy limits.

“Take a break, Oscar,” you told him when you realized he was still staying up analyzing his previous races at the commons one night. He glanced up at you from his seat, dark circles underneath his eyes, and he shook his head, “I have to finish watching these first.” The look of utter exhaustion on his face from pushing his body beyond its boundaries was still a sight you could never forget – his body slumping with weariness, his tired eyes void of the usual vibrant energy that lighted up the room.

Knowing that nothing you said could have changed the headstrong driver’s mind, you answered with a short “Okay.” and retreated back into your office, ignoring the warmth that lingered on your skin when he placed his hand above yours for a quick second as you gave him a supportive pat on the shoulder. The simple action probably had meant nothing more than a friendly gesture for Oscar, just a way of showing that he was grateful for your support, and so you hated yourself even more for dwelling on it.

6. I hate that Oscar always seems to know what I’m thinking

Sometimes you wondered if you unknowingly had a habit of thinking out loud or if Oscar was really that good at reading you, because why did he always seem to know every little thought that danced inside your head?

It was the night of the Singapore Grand Prix, and while you had always taken pride in being independent and mentally strong, for some reason you had felt awfully homesick that night as you stared at the bustling streets of the city. Working at McLaren was a dream come true, but it didn’t make it easier to constantly be away from your family.

Oscar suddenly appeared beside you, and his presence alone was enough to bring you a sense of comfort. “Missing home?” he asked as he gave you a playful nudge with his elbow, and you rolled your eyes jokingly at the boy beside you because of course he would somehow know what you were thinking, yet again. You didn’t bother lying to him, and so you nodded your head and admitted to your melancholy.

When he held out his hand in a fist and signaled for you to fist-bump him, you gave him an incredulous look that said “Seriously?” but decided to comply anyway. Then he opened up his palm to reveal your favourite childhood sweet, and your eyes widened as if you had found the greatest treasure ever. “You did not!” you squealed in excitement and almost snatched the sweet from his hand, looking at Oscar with disbelieving eyes. “You were saying that you liked these as a kid, so I asked one of my mates to get some for me when he went on vacation.”

The fact that he remembered little details like this about you made your heart swell with adoration for the boy, but you pushed those feelings away because you knew Oscar only did this for you because you two were good friends. “Thank you, Oscar. It means the world,” you flashed him a grateful smile and popped the candy into your mouth, feeling the waves of nostalgia flooding your chest as you savored the sweet, tangy flavors of your childhood.

7. I hate the way Oscar makes me smile

It was one of the worst days of your life. Work was already hectic enough with all the different projects and brand collaborations that were going on, and then somehow you accidentally spilled coffee on your new blouse that morning as if you were in some cliche movie. In the afternoon, you almost tripped down the staircase because you were too busy replying to emails on your phone. As if your day couldn’t get any worse, you dropped your laptop as you sprinted to the meeting you were late for and completely shattered the screen.

As you sat there in the meeting with your unusable laptop, it felt like you were seconds away from storming out of this conference room and never looking back. The deep scowl on your face didn’t go unnoticed by the papaya driver beside you, and so he subtly slipped you a sticky note that read “What’s wrong?”. You quickly wrote down “Nothing.” before shifting your attention back to the media manager as she spoke about an upcoming project that was about to launch.

You felt a nudge on your leg and looked down to see Oscar showing you his phone underneath the table. On his screen was the iconic picture of George Russell crying when he got his first points for Williams, and you had to bite down on your tongue so hard to stop yourself from laughing. Listen, you loved George and he was an amazing driver, but that picture of him with his hands behind his head, lips quivering as he tried to hold back his tears – it’s the funniest thing ever.

It was a mistake to glance at Oscar at that very moment – he looked like he was constipated as he attempted to suppress the giggle that threatened to spill out. It would be game over if that happened, cause then you’d start laughing and Lando’d start laughing and then the entire meeting would just turn into total chaos. Unfortunately, one of your stifled snorts was heard by the media manager and she glared threateningly at you both. “Let’s try not to disrupt this meeting as we still have much on our agenda to discuss,” she warned, and you two hurriedly mumbled a quick apology.

Reaching for his phone, you turned his screen off so that the crying George would be out of sight and tried focusing your mind on something else. After a few deep breaths, the urge to burst out in laughter had subsided, but the ghost of a smile stayed on your face. Your day may have been terrible, but Oscar somehow managed to make you smile again. Still, you hated him for causing you to get scolded by your supervisor.

8. I hate the way Oscar makes me cry

It was the first time you had made such a huge mistake at work. With all the projects and brand deals going on, you must have accidentally missed the deadline for sending the contract to one of your collaborators and by the time you had realized your mistake, the company had decided to withdraw from the project.

Chaos ensued among your team as you and your colleagues desperately tried to salvage what was left of the rather important project, sending frantic emails and scheduling urgent calls to hopefully convince the company of the potential this collab had. They ended up agreeing to participate in the campaign again, and even though your co-workers and supervisors had told you repeatedly that things were all sorted and you didn’t have to beat yourself up anymore, you couldn’t help the intense guilt that swallowed you whole.

To say you were upset was an understatement – you were completely miserable. This whole thing wouldn’t have happened if you were simply more careful. If you had marked down all the deadlines on your schedule and paid more attention to your work, your colleagues and you wouldn’t need to go through this mess and come up with all these contingency plans in an attempt to fix things – to fix your mistakes.

So you sat there in the commons, stuffing your face with salted pretzels from the vending machine as you allowed yourself to drown in self-pity just this once. “Pretzels for dinner? Nice.” Oscar sauntered into the room with a mischievous grin, getting ready to unleash a playful tease upon you when he noticed your glassy eyes and the pout on your lips. He awkwardly shuffled his steps toward where you were sitting and placed himself at the seat beside you.

“You… okay?” The question had sounded so awkward that Oscar cringed the second the words left his mouth. He was never good at comforting people, but for you, he was willing to try. “I just – finished watching the Notebook. Gosh, what a touching love story,” you told him as you rubbed at your eyes, wiping off your tears before they fell.

Oscar could smell the lies from a mile away, and he already knew what had happened anyway. Being in such a tightly bonded team like McLaren meant that news spread fast. People talk, albeit with no malicious intent, and the news of the important project that nearly failed was everywhere.

“It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes,” he spoke with such tenderness, catching you off guard. “They happen to everyone. It’s all part of the learning process, and everything will be fine as long as you learn from your mistakes and do better in the future.” While he certainly was not the best at comforting others, his words were exactly what you needed to hear. Dwelling in the past would not change anything – you had to learn to forgive yourself, to not let your mistakes consume you.

You turned your head so that you were looking away from Oscar, trying your hardest to blink away the tears and not cry in front of him. The thought of showing vulnerability in front of Oscar seemed so embarrassing, and you didn’t want him to think that you were weak for crying over such a seemingly trivial matter.

A hand was suddenly placed behind you, and then you could feel Oscar patting your back gently as he said to you in the softest, most sincere voice ever, “It’s okay to cry.” He looked at you with eyes that seemed to understand the unspoken storm of self-doubt and guilt that resided within you, and it was that sense of complete acceptance that caused you to finally let go.

He stayed silent the entire time you cried, giving you the space you needed to sift through your emotions by yourself. Not once did he ever look at you with judgment, supporting you in moments of hardship like the good friend he always had been. You hated yourself for crying in front of him, but what you hated even more was the fact that it had felt so safe and comforting to do so.

9. I hate that Oscar broke up with his girlfriend

The three of you were in Lando’s hotel room deciding what takeouts you were going to order for the night when Oscar suddenly confessed that Lily and he had recently broken up. “Wait what?” you and Lando exclaimed almost simultaneously, and you tried observing Oscar’s expressions for traces of heartache or pain to figure out what was the right thing to say.

Somehow, Oscar didn’t look too saddened by the recent end of his relationship. “You doing okay, mate?” Lando asked with raised eyebrows, also noticing the relaxed and seemingly unaffected demeanor of his teammate. Oscar nodded, “It was a mutual decision. We weren’t all that compatible and we both agreed that we’re better as friends. No hard feelings.”

The constant nonchalance of the boy wasn’t anything new, but seeing him handle his breakup with Lily with such ease and calmness was something you hadn’t expected. He didn’t seem one bit upset, and you would even dare to say that he looked somewhat relieved.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be your perfect wingman,” Lando joked with a mischievous smirk on his face, pulling out his phone as if he had a list of girls he’d been waiting to set him up with. “I’m good, mate, but thanks,” Oscar laughed at his teammate’s offer – blind dates weren’t really his thing, anyway.

You spent the rest of the night quietly eating your food and avoiding eye contact with Oscar, because you felt like the worst person ever for the damned tinge of hopefulness that sat at your chest after knowing about his breakup. You were prepared to bury your feelings for Oscar and try your hardest to get over your crush on him, but now that he and Lily had broken up, a part of you began wondering how things could change.

You hated the fact that Oscar’s relationship ended and the newly ignited sense of hope inside you about something that could never happen. Oscar would never like you back. He always had and would continue to see you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less, and you were a complete idiot for thinking things could ever be different.

10. I hate the way I don’t hate Oscar

It had been roughly six months since the beginning of your master plan of writing a list of 10 things you hated about Oscar, and you found yourself struggling to complete it. Even after trying your hardest to think of all his flaws and imperfections, you couldn’t bring yourself to write anything more. Heck, even the past 9 things you had written down weren’t really something you genuinely hated about him.

It’s the way he made you feel whenever he’s around, and the way his presence in your life brought you so much joy. It’s the fact that he always seemed to understand you like no one else, and the fact that you could not imagine having a life without him. It’s the terrifying truth that writing this list was completely useless because you had finally realized that you didn’t hate Oscar Piastri, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

There. The complete list of 10 things you hated about Oscar. It was meant to be a secret – something that would remain hidden while you get over your feelings for the boy. Nobody was meant to see it.

It had probably been your fault for not hiding the damned piece of paper somewhere more discreet, somewhere you were certain people would not accidentally find when they looked through your desk. It had definitely been your fault for telling Oscar to search through your drawer for the debriefing files he had urgently needed because you were still busy finishing up at a meeting.

When you walked inside your office and saw him holding up that list that was never meant to be in his hand, watching everything happen in slow motion as he asked you incredulously, “What… is this?”, you knew you were completely fucked.

#f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri #f1 x you

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captain-barnes-writes · 1 year

Text

What is soft launch? (Carlos Sainz)

Part three

Summary: Max Verstappen’s ex girlfriend moves on with none other than Ferrari’s Carlos Sainz and they’ve managed to keep their relationship under wraps until now. Part one | part two |

Face claim: Cindy Kimberly

Type: insta au

Pair: Carlos Sainz x reader x ex!Max Verstappen

Warning: this is all over the place, fluffy Carlos, Lando Norris all up in the comments lol, salty max

————————

YourUsername posted a story

Replies

Username shots fired!

Username the pettiness is real🫢

Yourbff and he always remembers not to cheat!

YourUsername: girl stop 😭😭 you know what I’m gonna delete this

Yourbff 🔪

DanielRicciardo Carlos might as well have bought the whole flower shop lmao

YourUsername don’t give him any ideas 🫣

LandoNorris this will cause more drama with Max😑

YourUsername he started it, he should’ve never posted that story in the first place!

LandoNorris I know, I scolded him for it trust me

CarlosSainz55 anything for you princesa

YourUsername 🥰♥️

MaxVerstappen1 I’m sorry

YourUsername just let me move on in peace

MaxVerstappen1 I just don’t know why it had to be Carlos

YourUsername we fell in love, simple as that.

YourUsername deleted their story

———

20,890 likes

F1Wags Carlos Sainz and Y/N arriving at the paddock for the Barcelona Grand Prix. This is the first time the couple are seen in public after recently confirming their relationship (after secretly dating for one year). I wonder how this will go down after Max’s insta story a few days about Y/N caused some drama.

Comments

Username honestly I ship it

Username same 😶

Username I can’t believe she’s back 🥹

Username max and y/n are still my one true pair

Username he definitely cheated, that’s not an OTP😑

Username those were just rumors

Username I smell even more drama just wait on it

Username I still can’t believe Max posted that story about her as though he doesn’t have his own family now🤡

Username True. I actually feel bad for Kelly after that

Username maybe he realized the grass wasn’t greener on the other side 🤐

Username 2 years too late for that

———

18,675 likes

F1world Carlos Sainz and Max Verstappen were spotted having, what seems, a serious conversation ahead of the Barcelona Grand Prix. This comes after Carlos and Max’s ex-girlfriend, Y/N, confirmed they’ve been in a relationship for the last year. Max had an outburst and posted a story of Y/N holding flowers reminiscing on their relationship which he deleted after a few minutes. The drivers seemed annoyed and Carlos at some point walked away from the Red Bull driver.

Comments

Username i knew there’d be drama 😭

Username I hope they can get past it seeing they have to see each other all the time

Username same here

Username shouldn’t be dating his mate’s ex then

Username oh to be Y/N and have two drivers fight over her 😮‍💨

Username She has the grid rizz 😏

Username she’s immaculate

Username tbh she had most drivers on a chokehold ever since she was with Max👀

Username they’re all in her likes and comments a lot of the time 🫢

Username this is Max’s karma

Username ^^ yes

———

Liked by YourUsername, CharlesLeclerc and others

CarlosSainz55 Podium today, so many good things to celebrate 🙌

Comments

YourUsername proud of you baby!😮‍💨

CarlosSainz55 we’re celebrating tonight princesa 😘

LandoNorris keep it pg Carlos 😑 there’s kids here

CarlosSainz55 yeah, you!

LandoNorris 🤬

ScuderiaFerrari that’s our boy!

Username the way he included Y/N in his post too🥹

Username he’s simping hard

Username I wonder what max and him talked about

Username it didn’t look good🫢

Username definitely about y/n

Username she looks better with you than she ever did with max 🤤

Comment liked by CarlosSainz55

Username not carlos liking my comment lmao

———

Liked by CarlosSainz55, MaxVerstappen1, LewisHamilton and others

YourUsername Red for Ferrari ❤️‍🔥

Comments

ScuderiaFerrari Red looks good on you!

CarlosSainz55 I agree ❤️‍🔥

CarlosSainz55 more like red for me

YourUsername 😏

GigiHadid beautiful!

LewisHamilton so great seeing you again!

Charlottesiine ❤️❤️

Username she’s in love love

Username ok but what is Max doing here?

Username he doesn’t even follow her but is all in her likes all of a sudden?

Username apparently it’s a problem if she moves on but he moved on within a second lmao 🧐

Username someone take Max’s phone away!

Username he’s probably crying in the shower rn

Username red suits you so much better than blue ever did queen

YourUsername 😝🫣

———

15,870 likes

F1Wags There’s reports that Kelly and Max are taking some time apart after some drama-filled days following Max posting about his ex-girlfriend,Y/N, after she confirmed her relationship with Ferrari driver, Carlos Sainz. Kelly was also pictured taking a solo flight to seemingly clear her mind and figure out the sudden halt of her 2-year relationship.

Comments

Username I called it!

Username it’d be hard to stay with someone who’s still clearly in love with their ex

Username you lose em how you get ‘em 🫢

Username poor Y/N can’t even move on in peace

Username she doesn’t seem to care tbh she’s down bad for Carlos lol

Username as she should 😏

Username lowkey feel bad for her

Username He should’ve fought for Y/N years ago, not now when he has his own little family

Username agreed! 😵‍💫

Username 20 sec penalty for ocon

Username 🤔

———

Liked by LandoNorris, CarlosSainz55, PierreGasly and others

YourUsername we’re good over here 😌 (that last one is for you guys, you’re welcome)

Comments

LandoNorris that last one was unnecessary 😒

YourUsername I disagree😋💋

LandoNorris 🤢

CharlesLeclerc I agree with Lando

YourBff is it simping hours??

YourUsername always 😶

ScuderiaFerrari giving the people what they want 👏

CarlosSainz55 😘

Username everybody just kind of overlooking the sassy caption 🤣

Username oh we noticed lol

Username my new favorite couple ❤️

Username queen keep giving us Carlos content

YourUsername 🫡🫡

———

Liked by YourUsername, LewisHamilton, CharlesLeclerc and others

CarlosSainz55 what she said 🤤

Comments on this post have been limited

YourUsername I love us🤤❤️‍🔥

CarlosSainz55 ❤️‍🔥

LewisHamilton beautiful couple!

YourUsername🫶🫶

LandoNorris third picture was unnecessary too

YourUsername 😐

DanielRicciardo the last pic on her post left me blind

CarlosSainz55 then how’d you type this?

DanielRicciardo 🫣

MaxVerstappen1 blocked CarlosSainz55 and YourUsername

———

Posting so late!

This is all over the place lmao but as always I enjoy making these social media au 🤭

#carlos sainz jr x you #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz instagram edit #carlos sainz #Carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz social media au #carlos sainz rec #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fic

845 notes · View notes

maidragoste · 1 year

Text

The Parent Trap: Chapter Two

Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader x Aemond Targaryen

Summary: After the disastrous divorce between Aemond Targaryen and Y/n Velaryon the twins Baelon and Aemon were separated. Each was raised by one of their parents. Baelon was raised by his father while Aemon was raised by his mother. Years later they both meet at a summer camp and discover the existence of the other. The twins realize that there are many secrets in their family, eager to discover their past, they put together a plan to deceive their parents.

Masterlist

Thank you for your support, I was nervous that people wouldn't like it because the fic wasn't the same as the movie so I'm very happy to read all your comments. REBLOGS, comments and likes are always appreciated 🥰🥰💕💕💕

Btw, I made two playlists for this fic. One is from Aemond and the Reader and another is from Reader and Aegon. As I keep writing I'll probably add more songs or even delete some, who knows. If you have songs for me to add or are curious to know why, you are welcome to write to me in my inbox.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

Ten years earlier

Your leg kept moving up and down. Your eyes are constantly directed to the door, expecting that at any moment Aemond would return home. You tried to distract yourself by watching TV but you were too anxious. Your mind couldn't focus on the stupid movie because all you could think about was the positive sign on the pregnancy tests you had taken that afternoon with Rhaena and Jace by your side. You regretted telling them to leave. If they were with you they would be preventing you from locking yourself in your own mind. They would make you tell them your fears and they would try to calm you down. The three of them would be making plans. You might even be practicing with Jace how the hell tell Aemond they were going to be parents.

You and Aemond would be parents. You would be a mother. You always knew you would have children, you wanted the happily ever after with the wedding and children like they always showed in the movies, but now you are terrified. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You're barely twenty-three years old, you haven't even finished your second year of editorial editing. It was assumed that when you had children you would be at least over twenty-seven, your career—a career you were truly passionate about—would be finished, you would have a good job, and you would be married. You tried to console yourself by telling yourself that at least you're in a stable relationship. You and Aemond have been dating for three years. You two knew each other since you were little because your godmother is Aemond's older sister and then you ended up attending the same school so you spent a lot of time together. You still remember like it was yesterday how nervous you were when you first kissed Aemond during New Year's. You were afraid of ruining your friendship and that things would become awkward but he didn't pull away when you kissed him he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him. That night they hid from everyone and spent the rest of the celebration kissing. The next day they started dating. From there everything was wonderful. Like any couple, you and Aemond have your run-ins—like when you argued because you didn't like the way he behaved with Jace, your best friend, or when Aemond got mad at you because you made the two of you leave the restaurant you were having a date at. to pick up a drunk Aegon in a bar again—but there was definitely more joy than displeasure in your relationship with Aemond. You saw yourself having a future with him, you could see yourself perfectly next to him in your white dress. You can imagine Aemond putting a baby to sleep while he lulls it to sleep in High Valyrian. Are you sure you want a future with Aemond. But you're terrified of his reaction to this unexpected news. What would you do if Aemond didn't want to keep the baby? You would have to break up with him. Even though you were scared, you knew you wanted to keep the baby. That was clear to you.

You heard the door open and it didn't take long for your boyfriend to enter. You got up from the couch and went to hug him. Whenever he returned home you welcomed him with a hug and kisses. This time you held on to him longer than usual, wanting to remember the feeling of Aemond's arms around you in case this was the last time.

You were about to kiss him but he turned your face away from him making your heart skip a beat. Before you could move away he gently grabbed your chin and studied you carefully. Of course, he had realized something was happening to you when you were clinging so fiercely to him.

“What's wrong?” he asked. Aemond first wanted to know what was happening to you before you kissed him.

Once again you regretted kicking Rhaena and Jace out. At least you should have taken advantage of this time alone to practice in front of the mirror how to tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant. Or you could have called your parents to help you. Although knowing them they would tell you to keep the secret so that the three of them could plan a big announcement together. But you couldn't wait, you need to know now what Aemond was thinking. You needed to know whether or not he would be with you on this trip.

“Y/n?” Your boyfriend called you, feeling his concern growing with every second that you remained silent.

“I think I'm pregnant” You closed your eyes feeling frustrated with yourself and hurried to correct yourself “I mean, I'm pregnant” You tried not to panic as you felt him move away from you “I haven't had any blood tests done yet but I'm One hundred percent sure I'm pregnant. I took five pregnancy tests and they all came back positive.”Your nerves were evident because you were talking faster than normal and you couldn't stop gesturing with your hands.

Aemond felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on him. This was not in his plans. Right now he was focused on opening his own publishing house, he needed to focus all of his attention on that, he didn't need a distraction and a baby would be that. Taking care of a child would take up too much time. But I couldn't tell you that. I'd be an idiot if I told you that. His mother didn't raise him to be an idiot.

“Marry me,” he said, knowing it was the right thing to do. Besides, ever since you two moved in together, he knew you were going to get married. He knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life waking up next to you, he wants your face to be the first and last thing he sees, he wants to come home and always be greeted with your kisses, he wants you to tell him about your day while the two of you have dinner, He wants to hear your theories about the TV shows you watch together. Aemond wants everything with you, even the most mundane things like going grocery shopping or walking the dogs. He loves you. The only reasons Aemond hadn't proposed to you already was because he wanted to wait until you finished college and he wanted his publishing company to be established. Planning a wedding was a big deal and you two didn't have time for that. But now it didn't matter anymore. “Marry me,” he said again with a smile as he saw how you opened your eyes and looked at him as if he were giving you the moon.

You couldn't help but laugh at yourself, feeling like an idiot for doubting Aemond. Maybe it wasn't the romantic proposal you had dreamed of but you didn't care. You were so relieved and so glad you didn't have to do this alone.

“Yes,” you responded with your heart racing and tears in your eyes. “Yes!” you repeated louder this time before throwing yourself into your fiancé's arms. You began to laugh as Aemond picked you up and spun you around. Your fears were forgotten. The only thing you felt at that moment was happiness.

Present

Aemon found it strange that when he arrived at camp Rickon was not waiting for him at the entrance like the previous years. He assumed this time that the trip had tired him too much and he went to take a nap in his cabin. So he decided to go there first instead of searching for him throughout the rest of the camp. If Rickon wasn't there at least he would leave his suitcases so he could walk comfortably.

When he entered the cabin he expected to find it empty or his best friend sleeping. He never imagined that an almost exact copy of him would be found walking back and forth all over the place. Aemon is not proud but his first reaction is to scream and throw his suitcase at him with all his might.

“Dude, what the hell?!” his copy shouted, barely managing to cum in time to avoid being hit.

“What happened?!” Rickon asked, also screaming, running out of the bathroom. “Aemon you finally arrived!” He ran to hug him.

Aemon barely moved his arms to hug Rickon but his eyes did not leave the other boy who was too similar to him. The copy of him didn't stop looking at him either, the two of them were studying each other. The only difference is that the stranger had much shorter hair than Aemon and did not have tanned skin like him. But Aemon knew that if he hadn't been sailing in the sun with his grandparents just a few days ago then he would look just like the copy of him.

"Who is he?" Aemon asked breaking the hug, no longer able to stand his curiosity. If he had encountered the copy of him years ago he would have thought that it was some kind of prank by Rickon or that maybe it was an evil clone but now he knew that it didn't make sense. The only logical explanation he could think of was that he had a missing twin but that didn't make sense because his mom would never hide something as big as this from him.

“Aemon do you need glasses? It's obvious that he's a copy of you," said the dark-haired boy, earning an angry look from the other two boys. “Don't do that, it's weird,” he complained.

“I am not Aemon's copy. In any case, he is my copy,” declared the short-haired boy.

“I met Aemon before so you are a copy of him.”

“Wait, why does he know my name?” Aemon interrupted before the other two continued fighting over who the copy was. He needed to know what was going on before he gave him a headache. Although since he saw the stranger he began to feel bad. It was disconcerting to see someone just like himself. He made him feel uncomfortable. Not even Joffrey looked that much like him, and she was his brother.

Aemon wanted to know who this boy was, why he looked so much like him, and why this was the first time he had met him. But at the same time, he was afraid. He could already sense that his life would be different after this camp. He decided to sit on the nearest bed to avoid running out and ask one of the caregivers for his cell phone to call his parents to come back to look for him. Maybe he should have let Mom walk him to the cabin like she wanted.

“Your friend thought I was you, he came up shouting your name when I was with my uncle Daeron. My uncle said that he knew you and that I should stay with Rickon until you showed up. Now I see why he insisted so much."

Aemon was sure he had heard Daeron's name before but he was sure he had never met him. Without realizing it he began to move his leg up and down trying to remember that he knew about Daeron but nothing came to mind.

“I am Baelon Targaryen,” the boy introduced himself, looking at him with concern and Aemon squeezed his leg to prevent himself from moving it further. “I think I'm your twin.”

“No,” the long-haired boy denied instantly.

“Dude, we're literally copies of each other!” Baelon said, frustration evident in his voice, pointing at Aemon and then at himself.

Rickon gave Baelon a look telling him to shut up. In the few hours that he had known him, Baelon had never seen Rickon so serious, so he crossed his arms indignantly and watched silently and attentively as Stark sat next to his twin.

“I know it seems crazy, Aemon, but I really think Baelon is right,” said the dark-haired boy, looking at his friend with concern. Rickon wouldn't know how to react either if he suddenly found out that he had a twin. “The two are copies of each other. Besides, he grew up without knowing his mom and you grew up without knowing your dad. I don't think it's a coincidence. Just like I don't think it's a coincidence that Baelon's uncle knew you."

Aemon looked at his best friend before turning his attention to his possible new brother. “When were you born?”

"June 20th. I guess just like you," said Baelon, and was satisfied when he saw that his twin nodded. "I have a photo of Mom!" He suddenly remembered the photo that he had stolen from Dad a long time ago and that he had hidden in his luggage. “You can see her and confirm that she is our mom,” he said excitedly, thinking that this way Aemon could no longer deny his relationship. He couldn't help but be excited at the thought that he was no longer alone, he had a brother. He had always seen how close his uncle Daeron was to his dad and his other uncles and he remembered wanting to have the same.

Baelon ran to grab his suitcase and began to take out all of his clothes, not caring about the mess, until he found the latest Boku no Hero manga that he was reading and triumphantly pulled out one of the pages the photo of her mother with him in her arms while she kissed his cheek, her eyes were only on him, not caring to look at the camera.

“Look,” he said, handing the photo proudly to Aemon. The photo wasn't complete, it was obvious that someone had cut it in half but Baelon didn't care. That photo was one of his most prized possessions. He looked at her every day before going to sleep because he reminded him that his mom loves him.

“Oh, shit,” Aemon muttered before handing the photo back to him.

“It's her, right?” Baelon asked, watching with anticipation as it was now Aemon who was searching for something in his suitcase. Aemon, unlike him, was not throwing his clothes everywhere. He felt his heart race when he saw how his twin took out a notebook and took something out of it.

“Is this your dad?” Aemon asked, giving him a photo. Baelon nodded several times, unable to say anything out of emotion. His dad wasn't looking at the camera but he wasn't looking at the baby he was holding either. He just looked to the side with a smile.

Baelon took both photos and placed them side by side on the bed. The photo was now complete. Dad was looking at Mom. If Baelon hadn't been so engrossed in looking at the photo then he would have noticed Aemon and Rickon exchanging glances.

“I told you we're twins!” Baelon said with a big smile once he snapped out of the shock of nudging Aemon.

Taglist: @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @diorchaiamet @bugheadskid @partypoison00 @camy85 @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @savagemickey03 @nyenyenye @krokietino @natashaobo @lizlovecraft @aleemendoza2425-blog @snh96 @angeliod @thegirlnextdoorssister @targaryenmoony @queen190 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @fan-goddess @saltyllamakidwombat @love-romancebooks @ilovetaquitosmmmm @justsumtuffstuff @afro-hispwriter @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @marytargaryen

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seventeenpins · 1 year

Text

bloom

pairing: stepdad!joel miller x f!reader

word count: 5.8k

summary: part three of bad girl. you decide to go out on a tinder date. joel gets jealous.

warnings: joel is an asshole, stepcest, infidelity, oral sex, somnophilia (mentioned) unsafe piv, creampie, dirty talk, fingering, daddy kink, age difference (reader is late 20s, joel is mid-40s), a bit of dom/sub vibes, smidge of role reversal (really just two stubborn people being stubborn), multiple orgasms, romance almost????, joel is sad and lost and possibly in love but mainly just wants to be wanted (but is bad at talking about real things), maybe not edited as much as it ought to be--pls tell me if there are any glaring issues you notice

a/n: finally finally actually got this finished weeks after i was certain i'd be posting. thanks to @livingdeadmaria for the jealousy angle. kinda gets away from itself, but i hope very much that you enjoy. i can't begin to express how much i appreciate your thoughtful messages and comments and interactions 💕

these past few weeks had gone by in a blur and you're hyperaware of how quickly the time is passing. joel had been taking good care of you, fucking you pretty much any time your mom was out of the house, and a couple times when she wasn't.

after casually mentioning how you'd love for him to make you feel good every minute of the day, he had laughed.

"doubt you'd want me makin' ya feel good if you're not even awake to enjoy it," he'd said.

"are you kidding me? waking up to you playing with me sounds like a dream," you told him, and he stilled, swallowing deeply.

your mom would pass out heavily after a night of drinking, and when her snores started in earnest, joel would sneak into your room, lock the door, and wake you up by dragging a palm over your tits, pinching at your nipples, rubbing a finger along your pussy, all the while telling you how good you're doin', that you taste so fuckin' sweet, god you're a fuckin angel when you're sleepin', and the one that you heard him say right as you woke up with his fingers deep in your cunt and a hand on your breast, already all worked up, and you came instantly; "you'd better hush that goddamn mouth or i'll hush it for you, baby, you gotta be quiet for daddy or your momma might wake up and then daddy won't be able to make you feel good like this-"

so no, you weren't unsatisfied with your sex life. in fact, you were more than satisfied.

it scared the hell out of you.

you were waiting, you realised, for shit to hit the fan. for joel to get bored with you. to get too busy. to come to his senses.

and, after all, the summer would be over soon, and you'll be back to your usual life. getting absolutely railed by your stepdad didn't exactly seem like something that was sustainable, long-term.

the two of you had never defined this, but you decided you needed a palate cleanser. something that'd catapult you back into the real world. if you ended up with a disappointing hookup, so be it. most hookups were, and the pornographically cinematic sex you were having with joel couldn't last forever. hell, you expected him to file for divorce any day now, and the likelihood of having any kind of relationship after he'd gone for good seemed very low indeed.

and so you decided that it was unhealthy to focus on only one person, especially when monogamy had never suited you, and the one person just so happened to be your stepdad.

you'd never deleted tinder but you couldn't remember the last time you'd opened the app. at this point, you'd convinced yourself you kept it because you thought of it as a kind of sociological study -- you endured because it meant you got to examine the extremes of human behavior and it was absolutely fucking fascinating.

so you scrolled aimlessly, appreciating the change in the pool of people that was your hometown, but quickly cursing yourself when you saw that a former student teacher of yours had just super liked you. horrifying.

you stared at your phone screen--swiping left on almost everyone, adjusting your filters to include ages 25-50, and feeling wholeheartedly disappointed at what tinder had to offer--until one face popped up. you'd almost swiped left by default, but stopped yourself just in time.

it's your old high school boyfriend, connor. not your first. not your last. but the most serious you'd had throughout high school, and definitively one of the best sexual experiences you'd had before your twenties. you'd ended things on good terms before you each went off to college.

his entire profile, you decide, is an assortment of green flags containing exactly what you need; looking for short term fun. social drinker and 420 friendly.

he's got a couple of goofy pictures, but he's aged well in the past decade, and you'd be down to find out if he's as good a lay as you remember. no possibility of falling in love; you're both only in town for the summer, nor are you looking for anything long-term. and, you add on to your mental list of reasons, he was never a creep, nor a murderer, and though that's a very low bar it's still nice to clear it. you can work with this. you swipe right and it's a match!

your mom has a girls weekend planned that you think might actually involve her and her friends, and joel told you he'll be out all weekend for his brother's bachelor party, so that's when you decide to set your date. it's nice to have the option to bring a guy back home and not have to worry about any awkward situations.

it's a friday night and you are all dolled up. your dress is tight, your tits look amazing, and the bar is lively. tonight is clearly the night to be out. there's a celebration going on in the corner with an incredibly drunk birthday girl scream-singing along to the music. pool tables packed. a group of men loudly complaining about the friend they're waiting for who's always late.

it doesn't take you long to spot connor. he's there, looking surprisingly good, leaning against the bar. a flash of dazzling white greets you when he catches your eye, grinning.

"hey," connor calls over to you, "it's been a minute! you look great!"

he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and looks you up and down, eyes sweeping over the spill of your cleavage and cinch of your curves. you know you look good, and he knows it too.

"wasn't sure if this was still your drink," he tells you, passing you a mojito, "but this is for you."

"i can't believe you remembered!" you tell him--mojitos used to be your favorite-- "i usually go for something less sweet these days, but i still love em. thank you."

you take a sip and watch as he takes a big gulp of his beer. the condensation on the bottle drips down his thumb, a drop of moisture hanging on for a moment before falling. his arms are nicer than you remember, veins drawn in beautiful patterns, muscles tensing at seemingly the slightest movement.

yeah, you could fuck him.

he offers you a questioning half smile and you realise you've really just been staring at him, not sure how long for. "didn't realise how hot you'd gotten," you tell him, and he cracks up. any uncomfortable tension dissolves, and you relax into it. you're almost able to forget about joel miller.

you're having a great night. one drink turns to three and before you know it, you're on the dance floor, enjoying the sensation of connor's hands all over you--holding your waist, brushing your cheek, groping at your ass as you grind together, both of you hot and sweaty and feeling wonderful. you turn your face to connor and kiss him, hot and passionate, running your tongue along his perfect teeth. it's... nice. he lets out a little whimper, which you like, but where joel would've leaned in deeper, cupped your face, tangled his hands in your hair and growled into your mouth in response, connor pulls back and practically giggles. "you're so sexy, baby," he says, and that's all fine and good, but it's not as exciting as you'd hoped. it just feels bland.

but you've made the effort to come out, and you're not gonna give up just yet.

you kiss him again, trying to will a bit of passion into the exchange, but all of a sudden he's shoved aside by some asshole barrelling past and he's nearly knocked over.

"hey what the fuck!" connor shouts, and the person who shoved into him stops. turns to you both.

before you see his face, you know it's him. broad shoulders and a muscled back. patchy beard. great forearms. and his jaw is set in the most beautiful scowl you've ever seen.

"joel-" you gasp.

this wasn't part of the plan. why the fuck is he here?

then you notice the group of somewhat rowdy men in the corner, right in the direction he was heading. one of them calls over in his direction, and he holds up a finger before turning back to you.

this must be his brother's bachelor party.

connor looks between the two of you. "you know this guy?" he asks, and you nod. he turns to joel. "you need to watch where you're walking, man."

a muscle in joel's clenched jaw ticks as he stares him down, and connor takes a tiny step back.

"connor," you say, "this is, uh, this is joel. my stepdad. joel, this is connor."

"oh," connor says, "well, just be more careful next time. nice to meet you, man. joel."

he extends a hand, which joel blatantly ignores as he fixes you with a gaze.

"best be gettin' home, sweetheart," he says, tone colder than you've ever heard it before. you swear you can see a vein in his forehead pulsing. "it's getting late."

you raise your eyebrows. is he... mad? and if so, is this the best he can do? "joel, it's a friday night. i'm having a good time, and i'm gonna keep having a good time."

he stares you down.

"that alright?" you ask, a challenge.

he grits his teeth again and nods sharply, hissing out a fine, throwing one last glare at connor before he walks away rigidly.

connor frowns at you and you shrug, but you glance over at joel, watching him retreat.

now that you know he's here, at this bar, it's almost impossible not to keep looking over at him.

he looks strangely awkward over there, like he's trying to appear relaxed but is following a relaxation guide written by aliens. he's rigid. uncomfortable. a man clasps him on the shoulder (his brother?) and doubles over in a laugh, which he seems to join half-heartedly. you can see how he's holding his beer with a white-knuckled grasp. his shoulders have relaxed a little, but in a way that looks intentional. you're not sure if anyone else would notice, but you've watched joel a lot these past few weeks. you can see it. you don't know what that means.

as connor tells you all about his work, you catch joel looking at you, too. there are a few times your eyes meet and something would flash between you. if connor noticed that you were distracted, he didn't show it.

you're a few more drinks in, loose and warm, getting quite cosy, when connor's phone starts to buzz. he glances the name on the caller id and his eyes go wide. "i'm so sorry," he tells you, points at his phone, "a friend of mine's going through a hard time--i need to get this. excuse me a minute?"

"of course!" you tell him, and watch him head outside for some quiet.

it takes less than two minutes before you feel joel sidle up beside you. you know it's him before you even turn to look.

"hi, joel," you say, and he grunts in response.

you're silent for a moment.

"so," you try again, "you wanna tell me why you look like you've been chewing a lemon?"

he frowns. "huh?"

"sour," you supply.

he rolls his eyes.

"don't like seein ya with that boy."

"oh really?" you ask, "and how is that any of your business? has he offended you in some way?"

he shrugs. "just don't like it."

"i'm gonna try again, joel. what's your fuckin problem?"

he huffs out a breath. "a fuckin' kid like that's just tryin' to get his dick wet."

"i should hope so," you scoff, "that's kinda the point."

"seriously?" his voice drops to a lower register, "am i not takin' good enough care of you?"

"no, joel, it's not-"

he cuts you off, "hush, girl-" and despite the quiet of his words, now you notice the slight slur to them. "cos how i remember it," he tells you, "just a day ago you were cryin' my name, ridin' my cock."

you feel your face heat, but he keeps going- "would you let that boy fuck you raw? huh?" he doesn't even give you a chance to respond. "guess you really do take after your momma, huh? mother's a whore and her daughter is too."

"fuck you joel-"

"worst mistake of my fuckin' life getting mixed up with all this shit- with you-"

rage surges through you, shoving aside any embarrassment you felt earlier, and before you can stop yourself, you slap joel across the face.

the impact breaks something that's been building and you both reel back, deflated. you stare at each other for a moment in shock and silence. the place your hand made contact with him starts to bloom blotchy red.

joel rubs his jaw with his palm and winces. "okay, i deserved that," he huffs.

you soften just a little, "you did deserve that."

"i shouldn't be talkin' to ya like that," he groans, chastened, "not your fault. i've had too much to drink, i think. gonna stick with water the rest of the night."

"can we call a truce for tonight?" you ask. connor could be back any moment now and you aren't gonna do any of this in front of him. but as unreasonable as joel's being, you don't wanna hurt him. your anger has all but dissolved and you just want peace.

"sure," he says, "truce."

you smile, half-hearted.

"so, big bachelor party, huh?" you ask, nodding at his group still in the corner.

"hah," he breathes, "yeah. can't believe my little brother's gettin' married."

"which one is he?"

joel points. "over there. the one in th' button-down, currently double fistin' his beer."

you roll your eyes. "no wonder you're so fucked up. must run in the family," you say pointedly, and he knows he's not off the hook for his earlier jibe.

a pause.

"so, who is this guy?" he asks, and he notices you tense. "no, no, i'm not gonna- be more of an asshole."

"good."

"so?"

"his name is connor. we dated back in high school. just seemed like a safe option for a hookup. no strings, any of that."

joel hums. grimaces. "seems a bit young for you, hmm? you seem to like your men old and grey, not bright eyed and bushy tailed."

you snort and roll your eyes, "oh, fuck off."

the moment falls between you.

"look, joel. i don't know what- this is between us." you gesture between the two of you, "like, it's not... sustainable. i know that. you're married to my fuckin' mom, and that's not even touching our age gap."

he sighs. "yeah. i know."

"so, what is it you want? from me? from this?"

he huffs out a breath. "truth is, i don't know," he admits.

"well, you sure as fuck had better figure it out

"he finds out his wife's cheating on him, he fucks her daughter-"

"hey, don' say it like that-"

"-and then gets jealous at the thought of her daughter fucking someone else."

"hey now-"

"am i wrong?"

silence. an awkward cough.

"no," he concedes, "you're not wrong. and i don't know what this is, but i do know what i want."

"and what's that?"

"you."

you stare at one another. he leans towards you, his voice gravelly, barely above a whisper.

"i want you to forget all about that boy. i wanna make you feel good, as much as i can for as long as i can. i wanna make you come on my tongue, and my fingers, and my cock. i wanna hear you scream my name-"

your breath hitches and you can almost taste the whiskey on his warm breath as it tickles your cheek. joel's hand is gripping your arm now and the grip is a comfort.

of course, that's the exact moment connor reappears.

"hey, there, sorry it took so long! really glad i picked up-"

you and joel pull back, and mostly manage to pull off looking casually friendly, but connor misreads it entirely and looks between the two of you.

and then he turns on joel.

"get off her ass, old man," he hisses, "she's an adult, and you're not even her dad! she can stay out if she wants to!"

joel stares at him, wide-eyed, startled as hell, and you do your best to stifle a laugh at the idea of joel being your actual dad. yikes.

"it's okay babe," you reach out to connor, patting his arm to soothe him. "joel and i were just catching up. is your friend okay?"

his eyes dart between you before he tries to catch up. recalibrate.

"uh, yeah-" he says, "yeah he was having a hard time but i think he's doing better now."

another glance to joel. back to you.

"so, uh-" he ventures, tentative, "do you wanna get out of here?"

if it hadn't been for joel turning up at this bar, you'd say yes in a heartbeat.

but you know for a damn fact that isn't gonna happen now.

"ah shit, connor, i'm sorry. i'm feeling a bit off tonight, and i think i should call it an early night."

"oh."

"i'm really sorry, it really was nice to see you."

connor sighs, nods, and then flashes you one last dazzling smile.

"you too," he says, and leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. "take care of yourself, yeah? and if you ever wanna meet up again, just let me know."

you nod and watch as he walks away.

it's only a moment later that you feel joel's hand snake around your waist and hold you close to him. it's familiar and lovely, the callouses that trace across your skin.

'i think," you tell him, "you should tell your group you're heading out soon."

he looks over at the group and one of them waves at him with a confused expression on his face.

"and then i want you to meet me in the bathroom. single stall at the end of the hallway. don't make me wait more than ten minutes."

joel's mouth goes very dry very quickly, and he nods almost too eagerly. his pupils are blown and you can't get enough of the bead of sweat that rolls from his temple.

"good boy," you tell him and he gulps. turns away from you and back to his group.

you walk towards the bathrooms and catch his gaze and a brief nod as you walk by him.

you feel exhilarated. goosebumps prickle up and down your arms and your stomach flips in an excited swoop. you've inadvertently just swapped roles. you didn't tend to take the lead, at least not in this way. if anything, you tended to beg, please daddy, please fuck me.

after you close the bathroom door behind you, you take a moment to collect yourself. you adjust your hair, smooth out your dress, and wait.

a few minutes pass, and then--a knock at the door. three gentle raps; a rhythm you know so well.

you open the door, grab him by the collar, and pull him in.

he practically squeaks as he's pulled through, but then you're pressing him against the door and he melts under you. he lets out a long, throaty groan as your tongue drags along his jaw, your hands slapping his out of the way as you undo the buttons of his shirt and rake your nails down his chest.

"gonna put your money where your mouth is?" you ask. his brow furrows. "gonna make me feel good, daddy?"

"yes-" he moans and devours your mouth in a kiss. pulls away, breathless, "what do you want, baby, tell me--"

"mouth. and fingers."

"god yes-"

before you have a moment to react, he hikes the skirt of your dress up and backs you up against the sink. "get on up, baby," he says, and you do, hopping up onto the sink with your skirt around your waist and your panties on full display, damp and translucent with your slick. you lean back against the mirror and joel grabs at your thighs, spreading them wider apart.

when he sees how wet you are, he lets out a strangled moan. "jesus christ, honey-" he says, and drags his forefinger along your slit, through your panties, "you're gonna fuckin' kill me."

then he looks at you with those dark, beautiful eyes. searches your face. then drops to his knees.

he starts by mouthing against your panties, just his lips at first, but then he starts to lick and suck at you, sucking your slick from the fabric.

"cute panties," he tells you, and then he's got his fingers hooked on the waistband and pulls them down and off you, helping to lift your hips.

then, when they're off, he wraps them around his hand, buries his nose into his fist and inhales deeply.

"fucking hell, joel-" you breathe, and he turns a little pink, grinning sheepishly. fuckin' joel miller sniffing your panties. how is it that that's the hottest thing you've ever seen?

he doesn't liger too long, though. before you know it, his big hands are grabbing at your thighs again, holding you open. then he's tracing a fingertip along your cunt. prodding in, just a little. pushing your folds open and looking at how messy you already are. sloppily scissoring his fingers, opening you up

"needy little thing, huh?" joel asks and you nod.

leaving his fingers inside, he pulls the hood of your clit back with his thumb and leans in to kitten lick it. it leaves you writhing, but the grip of his other hand on your thigh helps keep you in place. he pulls back, just a little, and spits on your pussy. rubs it in with the thumb, giving you the most lovely pressure, extra slick exactly where you need it.

pumps gently, leaning back in to start licking you in earnest. after a few lazy pumps, he hooks his fingers in you and starts pressing into you with more speed, more urgency.

he pulls back for only a moment and you can see that his moustache and his bottom lip are glistening with your slick. he opens his mouth to praise you, telling you those perfect sounds you're makin' are drivin' me crazy, honey, love how you let daddy know just how good he's makin ya feel, that's it, don't hold back-

and suddenly you're coming.

despite the dullness from the alcohol, and the fact that you're propped up on a sink and just realising your back is smashed up against an uncomfortable knobby faucet--despite all that--waves of pleasure surge through you, hot and bright at your core, flowing across your entire body as you ride his fingers, practically sobbing his name.

your hips rock back up, forcing his fingers deeper into you, and he holds you tight as you ride it through.

for a moment, your vision is replaced with a million little black dots, but then the haze clears and you see joel kneeling in front of you, one hand with stilled fingers still inside you, the other, grasping your hip and holding on gently but firmly.

it takes you longer than you expected to come down from it, but after a few minutes you've gathered yourself.

joel's no longer fingering you, instead rubbing soothing circles to a sensitive bit right at the inside of your thigh. he's telling you lovely things, and you bask in the sensation of his closeness.. you notice his fingers feel funny, but you let out a giggle when you realise they're pruney from being inside you.

he notices what you're looking at and snorts. then thinks for a moment. decides.

"you got any plans tonight?" joel asks you.

"just connor," you laugh, and joel glowers, unimpressed.

"but no, this was much better. and i have no other plans tonight. got something in mind?"

he nods, and suddenly looks almost bashful. "i've got a hotel room. technically part of the bachelor party, but my room's at the opposite end of the hallway from the rest of the party."

you grin.

"i know-" he starts, "i know we hardly ever have a chance to sleep in a bed together. but this could be a chance. if you want?"

for the second time this evening, you grab him by the collar and pull him in for a kiss.

the hotel is really only ten minutes away, but it feels like about five million hours.

you're trying not to look recently fucked, and joel's trying not to let his enormous hard-on look visible through his jeans.

you both sit rigidly in the back seat of the cab. neither of you know if you're being too cautious, or not cautious enough, but you both want to keep whatever you're doing between just the two of you.

despite the distance, though, you can still feel the tug between you. you could cut the tension with a knife. it's only when you arrive at your destination do you feel like you can breathe again. you don't know how, but you know joel feels it too.

there was always the risk that joel's brother could, potentially, run into them in the elevator.

so, all things considered, it was a really, really stupid idea to fool around on the elevator ride to the tenth floor.

"think they have cameras in here?" you ask, and joel snorts.

"if they do, they'll be getting quite a show, huh baby?"

"yes daddy," you agree, and joel groans at your words, closing his eyes, his head tilting back to rest against the cool metal wall behind him. he feels you undo his zipper, unfastens his belt and the button of his jeans. then the wet warmth of your mouth is wrapped against the head of his cock and his groan turns into a shudder of absolute pleasure.

his pants are still up at his hips, cock hanging out impressively. you drag your nails along his thighs all the same, providing enough pressure so he doesn't lose sensation through the fabric.

his hands are tangled up in your hair as you pull his hips towards you, encouraging him to fuck your throat. he's getting frantic, when the elevator suddenly dings!

you break apart instantly and for a moment your stomach flips as you're certain someone else is about to walk into the elevator, but then you realise you've arrived at your floor.

joel composes himself, slicks his sweaty hair back and pulls his pants back up, pretending to ignore the enormous hard-on straining against the fabric.

"this way," he tells you, and you follow him.

any initial reversal of your usual roles becomes a rhythm of give and take. you're barely through the door before joel's grabbing at the hem of your dress and pulling it up and over your shoulders. unhooks your bra and tosses it to the floor.

he stands there and stares at you for a moment, mapping out every curve, every angle, every stretch mark. you're completely bare for him, your panties still in his pocket.

then he's on you, hands gripping your waist, your jaw, stroking over your breasts, fingers dragging over your bellybutton, cupping your pussy-- the sensation is overwhelming, almost too much. if someone told you he'd grown extra hands, you'd believe them; his touch is all over you.

"you feel so good baby," he tells you as his hands slide down to grab at your ass, "you sweet thing-"

you work at unbuttoning his shirt, shoving it off his arms. you pull off his belt, too, which he never rebuckled. shuck his pants down, drop to your knees.

but then he pulls you back up. "uh-uh," he shakes his head, "get on this bed right now for daddy. i wanna taste you while you taste me."

you scoot back onto the bed and lay down, your head near the pillows. joel walks around the bed and kisses you once more, deeply, and then he yanks off his socks and straddles your face.

"this okay baby?" he asks. his cock is thick and heavy and hanging against your cheek.

"yes, daddy-" you tell him, and move to take a tentative lick of his swollen head.

"good girl," he groans and stretches out. you grab his cock with one hand, gripping onto his hip with the other. you guide his cock in your mouth, relaxing and opening your throat just how you need to for this angle. the salty tang is perfect, and you can feel his body tremble.

then you can feel his breath on your abdomen as he trails kisses down and down and down and then his lips meet yours, his hands grip your ass, and he's pointed his tongue in the most delicious way as it flicks over your clit and then inside you. you're doing your best to stay focused on sucking his cock--you know he hasn't gotten off once yet tonight--but the sensation starts to build and build and build and it's all you can do to at least keep your throat open for him to fuck into as he brings you towards another climax.

he holds onto you as you come, as if any distance would cause you to disintegrate. you ride his tongue, dazed by the sensation, the brush of his beard, the way he's gotten loud and feral as he licks up the slick of your release. your thighs are wet, both from your own arousal and his spit, and as you come back to yourself, you know you need him to fuck you.

"joel-," you say, and he ignores you, continuing to lick at you.

"joel, please-," you beg, "need your cock so bad. need you to fuck me, to fill me up-"

he pulls back, "try again," and then dives in again.

"daddy, please!", you cry, and it comes out almost as a shout.m

"there's my good girl," he tells you, and swings his leg back over you so he's no longer straddling your face. he holds his dick and slaps it a few times on your cheek. "need this cock filling you up?"

"yes."

"better beg for it, baby girl."

you fucking love when he makes you beg, but you hate it too. he walks around the bed and then kneels on the foot of it. hooks his hands under your knees and pulls you towards him.

"need it, daddy. use this pussy, use me, please-" your begging has turned to whining, and joel's eyes are blown black, hard and beautiful as he looks at you.

"fill me up with your cum, take your pleasure from me, daddy, let me be so good for you."

in a single fluid motion, he yanks your knees up onto his shoulders and fucks into you in with a single long thrust.

you scream out, it's so much and so good.

"such a good girl, huh?" he asks you, cupping your jaw as he pounds into you. it's not soft, not languid, not gentle. he sets a brutal pace, his hips stuttering, cock ramming into you again and again and again. "sweet little toy for me to use, aren't you baby? keep that pussy open wide for your daddy, huh? so wet for me, you just wanna make daddy feel good, don'tcha?"

the sensation is too much, his coarse hair grinding against your clit as he fucks so deeply into you, sending sparks flying through you at the thought of it. he presses a palm into your belly, just below your navel, and the pleasure increases beautifully.

you've lost the ability to form coherent sentences, just "yes, yes, yes, so good daddy, so fucking deep, you're so big, such a big fuckin' cock, fuck!"

his moans have turned into strangled grunts, all his focus on getting himself off in you. you adjust your hips just a little and the angle allows him to press in just that little bit deeper.

"you love feeling me in here, don't ya?" he asks, pressing his fingers harder into your belly, pulling a moan from you you weren't expecting. his eyes flicker back to your face and his eyes crinkle, "takin' daddy's cock so nice."

then he moves his fingers back down to play with your clit again.

"gettin' close, baby," he tells you, "but i need just one more from ya. can you do that, pretty girl? come one more time on daddy's dick?"

you whine and writhe but you know you can--it's already building--and you tell him so.

"that's my good girl," he praises, his fingertips slick and teasing as he coaxes another orgasm out of you.

it hits you like a freight train, and suddenly you're spasming around him, sucking his cock almost deeper inside you, exploding with waves and waves of pleasure. you scream, and he lets out a strangled cry before he spills inside you.

it takes a few minutes before either of you move again. he pulls himself out gingerly, and you wince at the lack of fullness.

"took it so nice, baby," he tells you, and cupping a soothing hand over your pussy, being careful to avoid your clit or anything too sensitive. he pulls his hand away and looks at the mess on it, your come mixed together and dripping out of you. "so good for me."

then he kisses you, gentle, sweet and deep.

he runs a shower for the both of you and scrubs you both clean. it's possibly the most tender moment you've had with him, as he tucks a wet lock of your hair back, kissing you again as his softened cock presses against you and you let yourself savour the sensation of your bodies inhabiting the same space.

joel sorts through the linens and changes the sheets before you go to bed. it's unnecessary and oddly thoughtful, something you didn't really expect.

he wraps his arm around you, pulling you close as you snuggle in together. you can feel your eyelids growing heavy, but joel brings you back to him before you can drift off properly.

"you asked what this is between us. what i wanted."

you stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

"i-" he falters, "i still don't know. but i know that i care for you."

"joel-"

"and i know there's no place i'd rather be right now."

you let that sit for a moment. then turn and kiss him.

"go to sleep, joel."

"okay, pretty lady."

he pulls you close and you drift off in his arms.

#joel miller smut #tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #tlou fic #joel miller x reader #stepdad!joel

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vscabarca · 6 months

Text

photographer - pablo gavi

summary: gavi has a crush on the club‘s photographer, but he‘s afraid you don‘t speak spanish.

genre: fluff

———

Sitting on the couch with the phone in your hands, you scrolled through old pictures, smiling at all the beautiful moments you’ve experienced over the years. Giggling, you turned your head towards your boyfriend, gavi.

He was watching a random football game when he turned his head and shifted his attention to you.

„what‘s so funny hermosa?“ he asked, stroking your legs which were draped over his lap.

„i just found the picture i took of you when we first met.“ you snickered, making gavi turn his head in embarrassment.

„amor, this is so embarrassing.“ He groaned.

„no it was cute! It just makes me laugh that you told me you were too shy to speak english.“ you replied, shuffling closer to him and put you head on his chest.

———

„¿quién es?“ gavi asked fermin, trying to sound unbothered by your presence.

„who?“ fermin asked, not really understanding what his friend was saying.

„who is the new photographer? i’ve never seen her before.“ he tilted his head towards you, who recently started working as a club photographer. you were twenty, moving from England to Spain, pursuing your dream in sports photography. Pure coincidence led you to this job, now taking pictures of sweaty footballers every day. Couldn’t be better right?!

„ay Pablito likes the new photographer huh?“ fermin nudged him, earning a smack from his friend.

„OW!“

gavi wouldn’t tell anyone for the first few weeks but he found you very cute. During his trainings he glanced over to you sometimes, seeing you do your job and take pictures for the official FC Barcelona account.

After one particular fun practice, he walked back with Ansu to the locker room. On his way back, you stood on the sidelines, encouraging the players to pose for a post-practice picture.

It was the first time he heard your voice, a british accent coming through.

„smile!“ you asked kindly when ansu and gavi walked past. Both flashed you a smile, making your lips turn upwards too.

After the „click“ sound, you glanced back up, holding eye contact with gavi for a few seconds. As the two players disappeared into the tunnel, you couldn’t help but blush at the thought of the nineteen year old.

@fcbarcelona: training done🫡 ✅

———

„just ask her out after practice hermano!“ pedri urged gavi but he just shook his head resolutely.

pedri found out about his little crush not much later. gavi wasn’t the best at keeping things to himself, he just couldn’t keep secrets.

„hermano, I can’t speak english!“ he spoke frustrated after hearing you talk with a british accent.

pedri just laughed out loud, his head flying back as he clutched onto his chest.

„bro, be serious I bet she can speak spanish. At least a bit. You can speak english too!“ pedri argued, encouraging his younger friend to make a move.

„Have you ever heard me speak english? I sound stupid with my accent!“ gavi just waved him off, getting into a shower to clear his mind.

It has been a week later and gavi still didn’t talk to you. His heartache grew stronger over time, seeing you everyday engrossed in your work made him weak. Little did he know, you had your focus more on gavi than on any other player, snapping some good pictures of him during practice.

The next day, gavi came home late, deciding to ask you out the day after. Stressed as he was, he downloaded Duolingo to do about three exercises before he grew even more stressed and deleted the app again.

———

tying his boots, he received a crash course from ansu. he could speak english quite well in contrast to gavi.

mid-sentence he shot up, glaring at his friend.

„how do you know I have a crush on the photographer?“ he asked bewildered as he saw ansus smirk on his lips.

„almost the whole team knows, don’t tell pedri your secrets pablito.“

he was fuming but walked off earning funny faces from his teammates.

you were doing your job like always, trying to get some good shots when gavi walked in front of the lens, doing a silly pose.

you glanced up from the camera, blushing as you saw gavi smiling at you.

„did you get a good shot?“ he asked rather shy, his thick spanish accent coming through.

„yeah. not really hard when you’re the model.“ you chuckled, seeing Gavis lips curl up into a smile at your words.

„could be the other way around too, you know?“

your heart fluttered after hearing the footballers words, a blush creeping up your face.

„i‘m gavi by the way.“

you just laughed, seeing the puzzled expression on the boy’s face.

„i know who you are, silly. I‘m Y/n.“ you said, feeling much more comfortable now after seeing how nice gavi actually was.

he relaxed too, feeling a good connection between the two of you.

„so, i‘ve seen you around for some time now and thought you were really cute. is there a chance to get to know you better?“ gavi asked, before seeing his teammates walk onto the pitch alongside xavi.

„yes of course. i could give you my number.“ you offered and placed the camera down next to you.

„Sería perfecto.“ Gavi answered, forgetting you didn‘t speak Spanish.

„my english isn’t the best, i mix it up sometimes.“ He said and scratched the back of his head.

„don’t worry, your english is perfect. I‘m the one who should learn spanish!“

He smiled softly at you when you scribbled your number on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

„gavi! come here!“ xavi shouted, interrupting the cute moment between you two.

gavi glanced over his shoulder, seeing the whole team staring at you.

„go, or else xavi will kill me for talking to his beloved youngster.“ you chuckled as Gavi laughed at your joke, pulling you in a short hug.

„see you around. i‘ll text you.“ he spoke, already running to the group before he earned a slap on his head from pedri. fermin basically jumped onto his back as he told them what the two of them were talking about.

———

„if you didn’t speak English that day, i probably wouldn’t sit on your lap right now, don’t you think?“ you asked and put your hands around his neck, pulling gavi closer to you.

He just smirked cockily, pulling you into a sweet kiss and mumbled a quiet „mhmm“.

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi #gavi #gavi x reader #gavi one shot #barca #football x reader #football one shot #fc barcelona #fermin lopez x reader #pedri x reader

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madelynraemunson · 7 months

Text

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club series)

strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI

Chapter 017: Something’s Brewing

Mornings are for coffee, contemplation, and work visitations. And before you know it, things go from 0 to ‘Eleven’.

author's note: the layout of this chapter is heavily inspired by the writing style of one of my inspirations, @pinkrelish 💘 love you alyson!!

CW: fluff, boyfriend eddie, angst, drinking, smoking, profanities, physical altercations, arguing, aggressive eddie, GENERATIONAL CURSES, eddie misogynistic/ableist one-liner (our fave is also a man at the end of the day), therapist!eleven rise up 🤩🤩, divider from @attxnt

word count: 4.8k words

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014** , 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*

* = somewhat smutty chapters ** = smut chapters

You’ll NEVER. GET. AWAY. from the sound of a woman that loves you.

♡

WEEK-IS-LONG-WEDNESDAY

Eddie doesn't sleep well when you’re not with him. Like a fish out of water, your boyfriend flops and flails around in bed, rolling over his bumpy sheets that still linger with your scent. But before he can even get comfy, it’s already time to start the day.

Son of a bitch.

“Alexa,” Eddie pleads. “Please postpone my cries until tomorrow.”

“Sorry — Eddie… I don’t understand what you meant by please postpone my life until tomorrow.”

“That too I guess.”

———

It’s awfully quiet at Hellfire.

Your friends seem to be protesting your unjust departure, keeping the essence of you alive by paying the Hellfire Girls no mind.

Meanwhile the witches who made you quit are celebrating your absence, laughing and leaning against the wall, entertaining themselves with their week-old gossip that was centered around you. Because without talking about ‘Shy Girl’, they wouldn’t be as interesting. To anyone.

"Yeah and she didn't even have the decency to give her two weeks," Kassidy scoffs. "Just up and left. How immature."

They got what they wanted. You were gone. Controlled, altered, deleted. 86’d, baby. But at what cost?

“Classic Baby Stripper. Can’t handle Hellfire’s heat.”

Now it's their turn to have the spotlight again. Just like old times. Although this time around, that attention is all negative.

But it’s attention, nonetheless.

Emmy and the other Hellfire Girls are seen squirming around, struggling to to reach for a prop that was placed high up on a shelf.

"Mike, I can't reach this thing, can you come get it for me?"

"Sorry, busy," Mike scoffs, shuffling angrily past them.

A couple of raised eyebrows. Okay then…

"Dustin, do you think you can-"

"No. Do it yourself," Dustin snaps.

Every appetizer they ordered from Argyle came out dry or burnt. Any toiletries needed from Nancy were handed over with minimal eye contact and assistance. Jonathan stopped serving them alcohol three peach schnapps ago, but of course those bitches were too busy faking their intoxication to even notice.

And despite everything, they were still appalled. Surely EDDIE wouldn’t approve of this blatant favoritism.

After putting out his cigarette, Eddie makes his way inside with the paperwork needed for your severance check, along with more checks for the club (and Wayne) that he didn’t even want to think about.

"OH EM GEE, HI EDDIE BEAR!" the girls squeal at him. It's their one last attempt to be smothered with love and affection from your boyfriend.

SLAM. The door to Ed's office swings shut.

Chrissy and Nina erupt in laughter, because even despite getting rid of you, Eddie still doesn’t give those girls the time of day.

“Eat shit, you cunts,” Nina chuckles, shaking her head in satisfaction.

While it was obvious whose side The Party is on, the Hellfire Girls are STILL left distraught and confused.

"Do you guys...” Kassidy says. “…kinda get the vibe that everyone seems a bit pissed off today?"

THANKFUL-THURSDAY

"Thank you, come again!"

You had just finished making your 20th peppermint mocha of the morning. And to think you’re going to be here ‘til close…

Being a waitress and barista are two completely different ball parks, something you wish you knew before Steve got you the job at Newby’s not too long ago.

Syrups. Sauces. Coffee beans from robusta to arabica. The just-as-caffeinated juices that would taste a lot better with alcohol in them...

And the damn milks. God forbid you use soy milk instead of almond, otherwise Susan Swayne from the Hawkins Neighborhood Watch Committee will throw a hissy fit for everyone with a satellite dish to see. And you’d much rather not want to end up going viral on Reddit — again.

Sigh.

You’re whisking away at a matcha when you realize that a group of corporate Chads were looking at you for way too long. Your paranoid eyes scan the scene, heart nearly dropping to your stomach as you lean your body into Steve’s for comfort.

"People are staring at me," you report to him at a low whisper.

Harrington is right beside you, wiping the counter down with a wet cloth after spilling some half and half on it. Your new colleague glances over at them before giving you an earnest look of reassurance.

“They probably just have a staring problem,” he says. “New pretty face at a local coffee shop? Of course they’re gonna look at you.”

“I’m almost certain I gave one of them a dance.”

“You’re also making them a coffee,” he points out. “How many people can say that about their dancers? They should be grateful.”

It makes you less stressed knowing you have a male coworker by your side, and that your job predominantly takes place in broad daylight. Your stress is further alleviated when you see Max shuffle back in through the side door after her 15-minute juul break in the parking lot. She gives you a tense nod hello after exhaling a small cloud of 'Wild Raspberry Bubblegum' into the room.

“Back from your break?” you mumble rhetorically, avoiding direct eye contact with her.

“Yeah. I am.”

You and Max got into a fight earlier this morning. It was over something stupid, your first real fight since she found out you were stripping on the low. You’re stunned when she wraps her arms around your shoulders from behind, causing you to hum in endearment. Dearest Maxine…your baby sister.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Max apologizes. "I'm not me when I go without smoking for too long."

"I forgive you," you hug her back. "Thank you for communicating your feelings. Wanna help me with this in-house order?”

“Of course.”

Since your whole lives were spent constantly losing people on such short notice, you, Max, and Billy have made it a goal to never go to bed angry. You all follow through with it 90-percent of the time, which is huge considering your dynamic. You never want to end the day on bad terms with anyone. With how the world operates nowadays, you just never know.

“You guys make coffee for non-heroes?”

And you weren’t going to start the day mad either. To your surprise, your gaze is met with Eddie’s when you turn around. Your boyfriend beams over at you with eager eyes, hands tucked neatly into his pockets as he waits to order.

“EDDIE!” you exclaim.

Mister-Leather-and-Denim greets you with his signature dimpled smile. "Hi, sweetie."

You practically leap over the counter to give your man a tight squeeze. He chuckles into you, his cool rings lightly pressing against your back during your embrace.

“Eddie...” you coo. “You came to see me!”

“I sure did,” your man sings as he goes to put you down. “Ohh my goodness… Look at you with your little barista apron! Do a little spin for me.”

You spin. Eddie hoots in adoration.

“Now do a little pose.”

You pose.

“One more turn for me, baby…all the way, all the way, all the way…” he instructs. Suddenly, his palm issues you a rough smack across the ass. “BOOM! There we go. Now we’re talkin’!”

“Hey hey hey, let’s keep it PG,” Harrington scolds him. “Bob watches the cameras when he’s not here.”

“Then Bob should know Eddie’s hands are rated E for everybody,” Eddie tuts, slyly clicking his tongue at Steve. “Didn’t think I’d miss YOU now did you, Big Boy? C’MERE!”

Eddie scurries towards Steve to give him his as well. Smack. Almost like it’s muscle memory.

Max shakes her head in amusement as watches their tomfoolery unfold in front of her. She always used to think you were exaggerating their 'bromance', but now her doubts have been debunked.

“Need some caffeine to kickstart your heart today?” she asks your boyfriend.

“Not particularly, since your sister’s in front of me,” Eddie replies, chuckling at his own cheesy joke. But then he hands her a 20. “I’ll take a cold brew though. Change is yours to keep.”

“My hero, my hero,” Max hums. You watch as she opens the register to acquire the difference.

Your sister starts on Eddie’s drink while you two spend some time together. Out of habit, you fiddle with his hair and then lovingly stroke his face, all while Eddie scans the room around him, his curious fingers dancing over to the plastic tip jar next to the pastries behind you.

“How much for the trail mix?” he comments.

“Ha-ha,” you respond to him dryly.

“Baby you could make this much in tips in a second at Hellfire.”

“I’m not going back,” you respond with certainty.

Eddie’s face drops when he realizes how serious you sound. Tucking his hands back into the pockets, Mr. Tough guy elicits a rather child-like pout.

“But everybody misses you.”

“Not everybody.”

“Everybody who matters,” he corrects himself.

“That’s sweet,” you admit. “But we’ll all still hang out, y’know? I just...really wanna keep our work-life shit separate.”

“I understand, baby,” Eddie frowns. “I just miss your face is all.”

It was a shitty situation those girls put you and Eddie in. But now that you’ve had time to think about it, you don’t need Hellfire anymore. Stripping has rocket-launched you out of debt; and now that you’re comfortably on your feet, with everything you could possibly want and more, you see no need in having a hustle mentality anymore. And besides, everyone and Eddie knew that to you, Hellfire was only temporary.

“I miss you too,” you assure Eddie. “But I'm out of that cacoon now and spreading my wings. Thanks to you. We can celebrate off the clock."

“Now I like the sound of that," Eddie smirks as he pulls you into him again. He gives you another, rather tight, squeeze followed by a delicate forehead kiss. "So amazing to hear, sweetheart. I’m so happy for you.”

FACE-THE-TRUTH FRIDAY

“You’re upset.”

It’s an assumption that irritates the shit out of Eddie. Jane watches your boyfriend as he frantically ushers himself around, stress-cleaning everything at POTIONS while Jonathan takes his lunch. For as long as she's been here, it's been observed that the only thing Eddie seems to be running on today is a hot chip, and yet another cold brew from Newby’s that you had made for him.

“I’m not upset, Eleven.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m NOT,” Eddie insists. “Shy Girl and I are doing great, thank you very much.”

But the psych major doesn’t believe it one bit. Setting the pencil she was twiddling down onto her notebook, Jane narrows her eyes.

“Wanna know how I know you’re lying?”

“Hit me.”

“I never once mentioned Hargrove’s name.”

Caught. Red-handed. A sucker-punch to the ego. Eddie’s cheeks flush an exposed shade of pink, having been read to filth by the girl he and Steve used take turns babysitting when she was a little kid.

“And boys always lie,” ‘Eleven’ tuts. Jane starts to dismantle her waffle fries as if they were pieces of pull-apart bread. She then shoves the Eggo-shaped taters into her mouth. “‘s like it’s in their blood.”

“Girls lie too,” Eddie scoffs.

“But they lie better.”

Eddie pretends to dismiss it, waving Jim and Joyce’s daughter off so she could go with Mike who has probably forgotten to take inventory yet again. But when she doesn’t, and insists on playing therapist, Eddie can’t help but wonder what Jane and Wheeler could possibly be fighting about now.

“Don’t start your relationship off with a lie,” Eleven forewarns. “I can tell you really like Shy Girl. And if that’s the case, I assume you trust her enough to be honest with her.”

"I am honest with her."

“Bullshit.”

He peers back over at Jane.

Eddie’s assets — at this point — have now become a liability. And it was YOU who had to pay the price.

But he knew he still had to be realistic. There was no way in hell that he could spoil you, take you out, buy you nice things, and introduce you to new experiences if his business is in shambles. He needed his dancers.

"If you can’t get rid of those girls, you at least owe Shy Girl the truth,” Jane points out. She finds herself leaning across the bar. "And the truth is... you’re upset about her quitting.”

Eddie shrugs, choosing to gloss over how he really feels in hopes of getting a second opinion. “But I don’t know why I’d be upset. She’s doing what’s best for her.”

But Eleven clears him immediately.

“Because your abandonment issues tell you she gave up too easily,” She shoves another waffle fry into her mouth. “therefore she didn’t fight hard enough for your relationship.”

Man.

“Otherwise, you two would’ve found a compromise by now,” Eleven keeps going. “Meaning she would’ve stayed. Could’ve stayed.”

She pauses for the dramatics while Eddie uncomfortably clears his throat.

“Should’ve stayed," she finishes.

Bingo. It’s like Eleven found a way to invade Eddie’s mind somehow. Disgusted with himself, it also dawns on him that although the kids are much older now, they’re still sponges. That means they can still read into him and everyone else, even more than they could’ve when they were only 12. And this time around, there’s no filter when it happens. It’s a scary thought.

“I liked you better homeschooled.”

SHRUG-IT-OFF SATURDAY

It’s D&D night at Jeff’s house and you’re in charge of food prep. But you really don't see the point in it anymore, considering bank heist campaigns are way more interesting than the messy charcuterie board in front of you.

"I can't believe tonight will go down as the Craigslist Campaign," Max remarks. "That's where Eddie found these guys, right?"

"It's where Gareth found them," you correct her. "I hope they all get along, though. Campaigns are huge for Eddie."

You watch your boyfriend from the kitchen as he does his thing, kneeling on the wooden table as he prefaces the campaign with an introductory monologue. It all makes you swoon. Eddie is just so animated. It's in the dramatic changes in his voice depending on who he's imitating. His theatrical jazz hands. His extremely detailed, and lucid story-telling that slips so naturally off his tongue.

Eddie Munson knows how to put on a show. As a performer yourself, you can appreciate watching his universes come to life. This is a look into Eddie's mind. His world. His safe space. And he appears to be having a lot of fun with it.

Your lip curls involuntarily. A little too much fun, you think to yourself…shamefully, spitefully.

“You’re not mad at Eddie, are you?”

You look at your sister like she's crazy. Max knows you and your micro-expressions like the back of her hand. Wasn't really a hobby she picked up per se, but more of a survival tactic. It makes you second guess yourself. Surely you didn't make yourself that obvious, did you? But even then, you're not even that bitter about it. So why are you physically reluctant in giving an answer that your brain is so sure of?

“No,” you shake your head. “Why would I be mad?”

“He barely did anything to defend you from those girls,” Max points out. “You’re his girlfriend and what do they get? A slap on the wrist for all of the shit they've done? It’s unfair!”

You silently return to your edible arrangement, putting the grapes next to the cheeses and away from the deli meats so that Gareth doesn't get 'the ick'. Then you grab a wine glass to make a rose shape out of said deli meats. Max doesn't back down.

"It's okay if you're upset," she tries again.

"I'm not upset, Max."

"You're lying."

"Am not!" You quickly jump to defend Eddie. "I genuinely think, and know, that Eddie's a keep-the-peace kind of guy. Besides, Hellfire would've been in jeopardy if he fired those girls."

"Hellfire would've been in jeopardy if Billy pressed those charges."

You think about the fight more often than you would like. It was the only time you've truly seen Eddie out of character.

"But that's different. Billy pushed all the right buttons. I know Eddie. He's not as manic as people paint him out to be."

And as if it were a joke, the Universe uses this impeccable timing to launch you into a panic. Soon the sound of shattered glass and moving chairs fill the room, and when you whip your head over to the sound of the commotion, you're stunned to see your man lunging at one of the strangers that were sat at Jeff's dinner table.

"EDDIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" someone yelps.

"You wanna say that shit again?" Eddie demands. "Huh, do you?"

"What the actual fuck," Max breathes out with her hand clutched to her chest. "That came out of nowhere."

"Disrespecting my fucking friend in his own fucking house?!" he gives the guy another violent rattle. "Huh?!"

You're unsure whether to intervene or not, but the guys seem to have it managed so you just stay put in the kitchen. From what you gathered, the guy said something rude to Jeff, making fun of his class and level and using his character skin as a reason for being inferior to him. But clearly, he was still no match for the Dungeon Master.

Eddie shakes his head in pity.

"Classic fucking bard," Eddie spits. "All that talk and all that charisma, but you're still FUCKING WEAK in battle."

"Hurtful..." Dustin, whose also a bard, whimpers.

"Wasn't talking about you, Henderson," Eddie huffs.

Then who was Eddie talking about? Because according to the look on everyone's faces, his rage didn't align with the severity of the issue at hand. The guy did seem condescending and patronizing when you met him, but all he did was poke fun at Jeff. Something the Hellfire boys already do with one another.

Eddie's outburst is enough to end the campaign early, and the guys who allegedly violated Jeff that badly left without a cue. As everyone cleans up after themselves, Gareth locates all the drinks that Eddie has downed tonight and confiscates them. You remember the time Eddie told you drinking makes him feel gross. Makes him act gross too, apparently.

"Eddie, what the fuck, man? Where did that rage even come from?"

"Dude was cocky as hell," Eddie shakes his head at Gareth. "They can act stupid about it, but I see all the underlying shit. They knew what they were doing."

Suddenly your ears perk up. If you had been the one to say that, you could easily appoint those very sentences to the situation with the Hellfire Girls. The burning in your chest is undeniable now. Of course that's how shit starts to feel when it gets personal.

"No one bullies my boys and gets away with it," Eddie says. "They can get out and stay out."

Max looks back over at you, just as distraught. Then she says exactly what you were thinking but were far too afraid to admit. "Where was that energy when you were at Hellfire?"

You and Eddie go to different bathrooms to collect yourselves, both for entirely different reasons. Seeing Eddie that distressed over something so small really had you wondering if he was upset about something else as well. But then you start getting upset at yourself for not putting your concerns first. And this concern was a huge one. He can do that with his boys but not with you?

“Oh my god,” it dawns on you. “I guess I am disappointed in Eddie.”

And then, from the other side of the house, in Jeff's bathroom, it dawns on Eddie too as he sobers up.

“Oh my god. I guess I am upset with Hargrove.”

SUCKER-PUNCH SUNDAY

“You’re early, babe,” you remark.

Little did you know Eddie would’ve been at your door even earlier, had he not been rehearsing what to say in his van...and doom-scrolling the internet for the past hour.

“Just didn’t wanna be late!” is what he comes up with.

You greet him with a kiss shortly before allowing him into the home. Max is working today while Robin and Vicky were out running errands. This left you both plenty of time to hash things out if needed, both in the living room and the bedroom (if it applies).

C'mon, Hargrove, you urge yourself. Just say it.

"Listen..." you both say at once.

You both pause, glancing over at one another in surprise.

"What are you about to say?" you ask him.

"What are YOU..." he counters. "about to say?"

"You go."

"No no," he deflects. "Ladies first, I insist."

You hate that he's a gentleman sometimes. Out of the many situations where you had to rip the band-aid off, somehow this was the hardest one. After swallowing hard one last time, you finally come out and say it.

"I'm..." you begin. "I've been thinking all week. And... I guess am upset with how shit ended with Hellfire."

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god, you too?"

Suddenly, the air seems breathable again. You and Eddie both sigh in relief which then extorts a chuckle out of the two of you. At last, you two seem to be on the same page about this minor discrepancy.

"I've been losing sleep over it all week."

"I've been stress-cleaning trying to think of how to come to you about it!"

"Oh my god..." Eddie laughs.

"This is crazy!" you exclaim.

"I forgive you," the two of you say simultaneously.

Your eyes widen simultaneously as well.

"Wait, what?" you echo one another again.

"What do you mean you forgive me?" you hiss. "I should be the one forgiving you, not the other way around."

"Well... you kinda left me in a crummy spot... leaving Hellfire so soon?" Eddie argues. "And you were almost everybody's favorite dancer too. Outside of Chrissy."

"You left me in a crummy spot!" you place your hands on your hips. "By refusing to fire the dancers who made my life a living hell. The bullying wouldn't stop until I quit and you just let that happen."

"Okay first of all, you chose to quit," Eddie snaps. Anger starts to simmer within you. "After I begged you time and time again not to. And you were the one who told me not to get rid of the dancers because it would've been easier to just get rid of you, the one."

"I still expected you to give them some harsh ass consequences!" you exclaim. "And what do you mean I didn't fight hard enough for you? You shouldn't have to make me fight in the first place."

"You know what I mean," Eddie huffs. "And expected? I can't read your mind, Hargrove! How was I supposed to know what to do?"

How was he supposed to know? How was he supposed to know? Not reassuring at all coming from a business owner and manager. And the gag is Eddie sure knew what to do last night, when something similar happened to his homeboys.

"You literally kicked those dudes out last night for bullying Jeff. At the drop of a hat. But you couldn't do with the girls the same way?"

"Those Craigslist dudes don't pay the BILLS, sweetheart," Eddie emphasizes. "Had they been responsible for my paycheck, I may have approached it differently."

"I don't care anymore!" you exclaim. "Paycheck this, paycheck that. It's the principle of it, Eddie! The girls bullied me and all you did was slap them on the wrist. I expected you to do more."

"There it is again, 'expected'! I'm a simple guy, babe. I can't read you like a puzzle! Say what's on your mind. Why do you have so much trouble speaking up?"

"I shouldn't have to hold your hand through something so simple though. Forget that I'm your girlfriend for just a minute. You should've fired them when you realized they were sabotaging another dancer. And whose to say this was their first time doing it? What if they did it with Isabelle too?"

"Don't talk about Isabelle!" Eddie snaps at you. "You don't know anything that happened with her."

"Oh so now you're defending your ex wife too? OVER ME? Your actual, current girlfriend?! It's just anyone but me at this point. WHY AM I THE LAST PRIORITY? IT'S MY RELATIONSHIP."

"IT'S MY RELATIONSHIP TOO!"

"You don't seem to be fighting for it!"

"You're one to talk! You're the one who left when it got hard."

"I don't leave when shit gets hard," you argue. "I leave when shit doesn't change. When shit becomes toxic."

You did it with your last relationship. You did it when you and Max left Billy. You did it with Hellfire when the torment wouldn't stop. And you might as well do it again with Eddie, if nothing changes.

"You know what apologies without change is?" you grumble. "It's manipulation."

"Oh, so I'm a manipulator now?!" Eddie questions. "I did EVERYTHING you told me to do, but now I'm still a manipulator?!"

"Birds of a feather," you huff angrily. "Living up to the Munson name, huh?"

"That's not fair, baby."

"It is."

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Eddie booms. "How would you feel if I told you that you were living up to the Hargrove name? By blowing shit out of proportion when it doesn't even need to be like that?"

"DOESN'T NEED TO BE LIKE THAT?" you shout. "DOESN'T NEED TO BE LIKE THAT? THOSE BITCHES RUINED ME, PUT SUGAR IN MY GAS TANK, AND YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF READING TOO MUCH INTO IT?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth."

"I'd like to put something in your mouth, that's for sure."

"Kinky," Eddie says smartly.

"That's all your mind travels to, is sex isn't it?! No wonder you keep those sluts around."

You and Eddie continue to argue back and forth, the volume of your voices gradually getting louder. Eventually, you grow overwhelmed, and the only thing that will calm you down is a good ol' scream.

Just like a banshee, a high-pitched scream rips through the house.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

You throw a nearby plastic cup at the wall, you're so angry and overstimulated.

"The hell was that?" Eddie questions. A laugh tugs at the corner of his mouth. For a minute, he looks like Billy when he gets a reaction out of you. That really sets you off.

Now you're out for blood. Out for the very thing, every Hargrove wants: the last word. He's right. You are living up to the Hargrove name. But why does it feel so good?

Unable to control yourself, your palms land across Eddie's chest and you shove him into the wall, causing Eddie to short circuit in shock. His face drains to a pale white. Now suddenly, you're Billy. And Eddie is you, looking at you the way you would look at your brother whenever he screamed or punched a wall.

Now Eddie's angry too. As much as he wants to get you back, it's still natural for him to physically refrain himself from doing so. Eddie Munson does not hit women. Wayne raised him better than that.

So instead, he settles for a verbal jab.

“You’re crazy. What is wrong with you, Hargrove?"

It's the damned C word that no enraged woman wants to hear. But now that you've heard it, there's no turning back. You're done with him.

"Get out," you order him.

"Fine," Eddie mutters. "Fine, I'm off to Wayne's anyway!" You stomp after Eddie as he starts making his way towards your door. "He's the only fucking person who seems to understand me."

The two of you share one final look before he heads out.

You hate that it has to end this way, because the devastated demeanor in his beady, brown eyes share that same sentiment. The sorrow is unspoken, but universal. Just as the love and yearning is, even when your words display a lack thereof.

"So you're gonna leave me?" Eddie gulps. "You're gonna leave me, huh? Just like everyone else does?"

You shake your head bitterly. If there's anything about you that you love/hate, it's that you always stand on your business. "Don't worry. Plenty of other bitches in the sea for you."

The final blow to Eddie's chest. Normally Eddie would've been able to recover from that... would've been able to leave the argument untouched after hearing those words... had it not been for you, the only person he truly sees himself with. The only person he would look for in a sea of people.

"I really thought you were different, Shy Girl," Eddie shakes his head. "That's what I get for hiring someone who doesn't understand what the industry can be like."

That's what he hits you with? Just then, the sadness is replaced by resentment entirely.

"I HATE YOU, Eddie Munson," you grimace. "I never want to see your face again."

🏷️ tag list: @chrrymunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe @motherfckerr , @jxpsi , @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria , @micheledawn1975 , @hereforshmut , @siriuslysmoking , @mediocredreams @nymphetkoo , @m-chmcl-rmnc , @ahoyyharrington , @keepittoyourselftellnobodyelse @kellyxo1 @emsgoodthinkin @winchester-angel @chloe-6123 , @redbarn1995 @angietherose @kiyastrf94 , @purplewitchcauldron @kellsck @joyfulfxckery @munsons-mayhem28 @dragonfire @emma77645 @drivelikenina @livosssblog @thinkingth0ts @hugdealer @ellielunamckay @xblueriddlex @maskofmirrors @babyloutattoo89 @queenofhawkins

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hatsunemitskislobotomy · 8 months

Text

“…𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮..

𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮, 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮…”

╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴

well that was one way to be broken up with.

she couldn’t even be mad at the guy. he had been very sweet and patient but she had spiraled and started missing texts that turned to missing calls— which turned to missing dates. wasn’t the first time either, she just was that much of an exhausting person to keep up with.

in the sense that she was always behind.

she let out a sigh as she rid herself of his footprints, deleting his texts, deleting any photos, unadding him on socials— the whole nine yards.

but when it came to that dreaded voicemail.

her finger hovered over the red trash can button, taunting her.

and then she pocketed her phone, she supposed it would serve as a reminder.

that it was always her fault.

she rubbed at her face before emerging from her room.

“ah, you’re awake.” her raven haired roommate looked up from his book

“and to think we thought you were just about to sleep through your date.” her snowy haired roommate chimed in from his position laying across the raven’s lap

“ah, about that… i just got broken up with.”

“…”

it was quiet between the three of them, then again when was it not? she never made much efforts to communicate with them past their typical chores and roles in the housework.

the two in a friendlier than most relationship were seeking a third person to help take up the lease and that’s exactly what she did, nothing more nothing less.

and when it got awkward…

“yeah…” she murmured looking at her hands

“do you… want to talk about it?” it was a cheap attempt, she appreciated it nonetheless

“i’d rather not, i think my first proper conversation with you two shouldn’t be me bitching about my ex.”

satoru’s airy laugh sounded as he got up from his lover’s (?) lap.

“please, we wouldn’t be opposed.”

“speak for yourself satoru, only you are a fiend for other people’s affairs.” suguru tsked, closing his book slightly

“but please, if you need someone to talk to— we’re both willing.”

“i thought i was the fiend suguru—”

“you are, i’m offering as a concerned roommate.”

“i’m fine.” her words a lot harsher than she intended

and then came the unconvinced, concerned glances.

“sorry.”

and then she retreated back to her room.

if she kept this up she’d find herself out on the streets.

she let out a sigh, it was what she deserved right? no boyfriend, no roommates, no friends, nothing.

on her birthday no less.

she let out a sigh, she might as well distract from this pitiful day.

————————————————————

nothing beat rearranging your room instead of confronting your feelings.

she shook her head, she didn’t have a right to feel anything more than empty. the only thing that she felt was the need to rearrange her room and rearranged it was.

she needed a new change of scenery, after all she was another year older.

and yet still none the wiser.

the brutality of reality seemed to sting more as one got older.

she sighed, at least she can mope in a clean room.

a knock pulled her from her thoughts.

“it’s open.”

and then there stood her two roommates.

“i don’t think we’ve ever seen your room—ack! ow…”

“seriously satoru?”

“what? it’s true…”

she stared at the two bickering before the raven sat his eyes on her.

“y/n… we wanted to see if you were free later—“

“please, she’s always free—“

a smack, then a whine.

“we’ve realized that you haven’t been properly introduced to the area… we’d love to do you the honors.” he offered a half hearted smile

she supposed it was true, aside from her dates once in a while— she never really was familiar with the area.

“i suppose i can accept.”

“i told you suguru now we have to drag her ou— wait what?”

she chuckled, for the first time in a long time, a genuine chuckle tumbled out from her lips.

the two men were in awe.

“i’ll join your endeavors to wherever, i… i could use the fresh air.” she swallowed

the bright blue eyed man seemed ecstatic as he left her room pumped, the more subdued raven gave her a soft smile before leaving her to get ready in peace.

“thank you for humoring us.”

she should be thanking them, but she wouldn’t say that part out loud… at least not yet.

—————————————————

she couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward as she was wedged between the two men who insisted.

something about her being too small and easily losable in the crowd.

apparently these parts were known for having winter night markets where the cold winter streets would warm to life with street food and vendors.

she hardly had a chance to process the sights and the atmosphere as they dragged her from stall to stall, sampling food, eying trinkets, playing games.

she’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t having fun.

“wait guys— i’m gonna get some of the dango from earlier.” satoru was bouncing away before the two could even respond

“well his dentist certainly has their work cut out for them.”

suguru had to process her snark words a little before letting out a chuckle.

“believe it or not, satoru has the most elaborate brushing routine that I’ve ever seen. he’d rather die than develop any sensitivity to sweets.” he hummed

“i see.” she hummed, starting to rub her hands a bit

“getting cold?”

“a little, it’s fine— i’ll probably invest in gloves one of these days…” she sighed a little

“here, let me.”

he gently took her hands in his, letting her much smaller hands rest nice and warm in his own.

“your hands always this warm?”

“i’d have to say quite the opposite for you, and here i thought satoru’s was bad.” he chuckled lightly

“speaking of— if it’s within my boundaries… what are you two?” the words just tumbled out of her mouth

they weren’t married, and they seemed very comfortable in each other platonically as well.

it was obvious that they loved each other, but she couldn’t help but wonder in what way?

he tilted his head slightly.

“perhaps soulmates, life partners. he’s practically my everything.” he smiled

“oi! quit being so cryptic!” suddenly satoru was back with his dango in one hand and the other around the raven

“he’s my person— not much else to it.”

“that wasn’t any better than mine in the slightest.”

“yeah but you go into the poetics of it too much, just call it as it is.”

and she was left with more questions than she had answered, but in a way she sort of got what they meant.

they were each other’s person.

“i’m glad you two have each other.” she gave them a smile

“ah shit— she just got broken up with… are we being too much?”

“satoru!”

and there it was again, that airy laugh that made the boys still. they were still in awe that she had it in her, not when she constantly looked miserable in their eyes.

“guys, guys it’s fine— you don’t have to change anything for my sake.” she sighed, a small smile still playing at her lips

“ugh you’re so sweet! your loser boyfriend didn’t even deserve you like that!” satoru whined as he shook her a little

“especially dumping you on y—“

an elbow to the ribs and his hands were immediately off you.

“suguru…!” he groaned

“you have a big mouth.”

“oh but you like that~”

another elbow.

she couldn’t help but snicker at their antics, one moment they were like an old couple in love and another moment it was almost as if their were your typical best friends who’ve known each other forever.

she thinks she’s starting to understand what suguru meant by them being each other’s person a little bit better.

“sorry about talking about your relationships so carelessly.” suguru gave her a sheepish smile

“it’s alright, nothing that wasn’t my own fault.” she shrugged

they looked at each other.

she couldn’t just leave it at that.

“i have the tendency to just… withdraw..” she bit the inside of her cheek

“at some point it’s exhausting for the other person, dealing with me disappearing every so often— although it’s not intentional… it’s not hard for someone else to think i’ve lost interest or i’m being unfaithful.” she gave the two a half hearted shrug

“i suppose there’s just a lot i need to work on myself before i put myself out there.”

the two seemed conflicted, it was good she could recognize the areas she needs to work on…

“…but aren’t you being too harsh on yourself?” suguru blurted out, satoru immediately nodding

“there’s nothing wrong with working on yourself… but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to love and be loved.” satoru gave her a look

she knew they were right, but sometimes it was just easier to be miserable without having to think about another— only thinking about herself and her misery. she was selfish like that.

and they could tell by the conflict that flashed on her face.

before the conversation could progress any further she felt something cold prick at her nose, and then she looked up.

a gentle snow was falling.

“well would you look at that.”

she wore a wistful expression as she looked up, letting the snowflakes gather on her lashes as the warmth of her skin melted the ones on her face.

perhaps it was the universe letting her have this one thing, the first snow.

suguru and satoru seemed thrilled as well.

“suguru— look!”

“i see it satoru.”

but everyone seemed so far away as it was just her and the gentle snow.

it was beautiful.

but beautiful things hardly last.

“…!”

she looked back at the two who gave her a look, suddenly she was back on the busy night market street.

“you’re shivering.”

she didn’t notice until another one wracked her body.

before she could speak she felt herself being dragged along by satoru, suguru trailing behind the two.

“wha..? where are we going?”

“somewhere to warm up!”

——————————————————

when the two dragged her off, she expected for them to go back to their shared apartment or a restaurant.

but she was sitting down on a couch in a dim room with a microphone in hands while colored lights danced around the room.

“i… i have a few questions—”

“come on! it’s nice and warm and you can sing your heart out about your shitty ex!”

“he wasn’t shitty though, it was my fault we broke up.”

“that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel some type of way about it.”

which was true.

“come on you know the classic breakup songs right? it’ll get whatever off your chest—“

and before she could protest satoru was already queuing up a song.

and that’s how the rest of the night went, although hesitant at first it wasn’t long before the three taking turns in singing songs and ballads. from cheesy classics to songs of yearning and heartbreak that suguru sang a bit too well for satoru’s comfort.

“i’ll never make you feel like that!” he whined clinging on to the raven who gave him an exasperated look

“i know.”

she couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, it was nice to be around other people.

“i’m going to the restroom.” suguru hummed before peeling satoru off of him

“can i come with~”

“no.”

she snickered a bit at satoru’s clingy behavior.

“he’s so mean to me!” he huffed

“i think he knew if you two went together you wouldn’t be coming back out any time soon.” she mused

he let out a dramatic sigh.

“i suppose you’re right.”

“also we couldn’t leave your mopey self all by your lonesome.” he gave her a little nudge

she shook her head with a smile.

“i think i would’ve managed.”

“yeah yeah don’t lie— you’ve been all sad about your lame ex. y’know if you said no earlier sugu and i would’ve just dragged you out one way or another.”

“i’d like to see you try.”

“suguru manhandles me on the daily— we’d get ya.” he snickered

a comfortable silence fell between the two.

“do you feel better?”

she pondered his question a little.

“i do…”

but.

“but..?” he tilted his head

“it’s not even the breakup at this point…” she sighed a little

it was the prospect of getting older, and not a damn thing changed.

life itself was a fickle thing, ever changing.

so why hasn’t she?

gripping onto the ways of her past, she joked that she peaked when she was younger and it was all downhill from there… when did it start being actually true?

her past, her youth— it took all the best parts of her.

and now she was someone despicable enough to be broken up with on their birthday—

she felt cold hands on her cheeks, snapping her from her thoughts.

“you got lost in your head.” bright blue eyes staring down on her as she blinked

just how long did she spend ruminating looking like a complete nutcase in front of him?

“suguru was right— your hands are cold.” she mumbled out

“you alright?”

“i’m not sure yet.”

“…you wanna sing one more song?”

she sighed.

“pass me the mic.”

she got up to go queue up the next song, her back towards satoru— he didn’t need to see her inner turmoil boil up once more.

she heard the door click open, she figured suguru was back.

“ah— suguru. you wanna join the last—“

the words on her lips died as she turned around to meet his gaze, only for it to fall on a cake.

a birthday cake.

“welp— cat’s out of the bag! woooo! happy birthday!”

she was still processing it.

“satoru that’s hardly appropriate,” suguru rolled his eyes at him before turning to face her once more

“come, sit down.”

so she sat down on the couch in between the two as suguru set the cake down in front of her on the table.

“we weren’t sure what flavor you’re into but as a self proclaimed confectionery connoisseur, all the cakes from this bakery are really good so it should be alright.” satoru hummed as he pulled out candles from his pocket and expertly placed them around the cake

she finally found her words.

“how… how did you know…?”

suguru gave her a small smile.

“well at first we didn’t, but then we did some extensive research—“

“we were snooping around your socials.”

“…yeah that.”

her lips couldn’t help but quirk up at that.

“we knew something was up when you bothered to speak more than five words to us.” satoru shrugged before being met with a smack to the head

“owww…! it’s true!”

“forgive satoru, he’s bad at handling delicate situations.”

“i’m just saying it how it is! you looked more down than usual and we snooped around! can we talk about how shitty your ex is for dumping you on your birthday?” he ranted which earned him another smack

she was overwhelmed with emotion, she didn’t even realize the tears that started to stain her cheeks.

“you made her cry.”

“shit— i’m sorry!”

“no no,” she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand

“i’m grateful i promise, just processing… y’know?”

“we hope you know that you deserve this, having a birthday worth celebrating.” suguru put a hand on her shoulder

she offered him a watery smile.

“hug? you look like you could use one.” satoru offered

typically she would’ve refused, she wasn’t big on physical gestures but she couldn’t stop herself from nodding softly wiping her face some more.

she let herself be caged in between the two, taking in their scents and warmth. she relaxed into their holds, letting out a sigh once her sniffling subsided.

“thank you.” she whispered softly

“i know we’re still sort of strangers but we’ve grown a liking to you, if you ever think you’re alone especially here… we’re here for you.” suguru murmured

“you’ve already been welcomed in our lives aside from the roommate formality stuff, it’s just up to you if you want us in yours.” satoru chuckled lightly ruffling her hair a little

“i’d… like that.”

and they held on for a little bit longer, she held on for a little bit longer.

“now how about we blow out some candles?”

❀° ┄───╮

this one is dedicated to all the girlies who feel some type of way (wanting to die lol) on their birthdays, including me today :,)

╰───┄ °❀

#happy bithday to me #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk drabbles #jjk geto #jjk gojo #satosugu x reader fluff #platonic satosugu x reader #satoru gojo #suguru geto #satosugu #jjk x reader #lowkey self insert whoops

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em-dash-press · 1 year

Text

Why Creative Writing Might Make You Anxious (Even If You Love It)

When I sit down to write, sometimes I get so anxious that my stomach gets queasy. It can happen even when I’m wondering if I’ll have time to write today.

Anxiety affects even the best writers, so let’s talk about why your favorite hobby might also put you on edge.

Your Stories Involve Topics You Care About

Great stories always have centralized themes. Your theme drives your plot, informs your character’s choices, and draws readers in.

They’re essential, but they can also be deeply meaningful. You might feel the weight of being a voice on the topic, even if you’re talking about it through a goofy or unrealistic story.

Solution: Remember that you’re continuing a conversation, not presenting yourself as the all-knowing leader on any given theme. Give your perspective and thoughts on the theme through your work. Your unique take is why your readers will pick up your work.

Your Work Relates to Your Past or Present

Inspiration comes from anywhere. You might get an idea while walking the dog, but you can also think of stories when reflecting on your past or present.

Sometimes that means opening up parts of our history that wounded us. They might still feel like pressing on a bruise, even if you’re only writing a story for yourself.

Solution: Be gentle with yourself if you’re writing about a deeply personal topic, event, subject, or period in your life. Recognize that your anxiety is likely your brain trying to protect you, not sabotage you. If you can’t let it wash over you and continue your writing, consider starting therapy before writing your short story or novel. OpenPath is a great affordable option, along with sliding-scale therapists in your town. You might need to process that sensitive subject before you can write about it.

Your Story Feels Complicated

Longer stories can be overwhelming, even if they’re stories we desperately want to finish. They might involve more plotlines than you’re used to handling or a bigger cast of characters you need to develop.

We grow as writers by taking on new creative challenges. A few things I want to remind you if you feel like this is the source of your creative writing anxiety:

There’s no rush to finish a story. Ever.

Give yourself extra time when you’re trying something new. You wouldn’t expect a new runner to finish a marathon in 2 hours.

Take breaks to reset your energy, especially when you feel frustrated or anxious.

It’s okay to not finish a story.

Read that one again.

It really is okay to not finish a story.

You might come back to it in a year or two or three when your plot management or character development skills are better. It’s never a mark of failure to leave a draft in a to-be-finished folder.

Solution: Read through the bullet points above. Be gentle with yourself. Practice in shorter story forms, even with the same characters. You always have the judgment-free choice to finish a story or delete it entirely.

You Don’t Have a Plot Outline

Free writing is great. It’s a completely valid way to write short stories and novels. Some people excel at it. Others need an outline.

You might feel anxious about your current writing sessions because you don’t know where your story is going or how it will end. It’s a normal thing to experience and doesn’t make you any less of a writer—even if creating a plot outline changes your writing method temporarily.

Solution: Acknowledge that it’s okay to change your writing process sometimes. Every story needs a different support structure. Write your story idea in a single sentence, then expand on it in a paragraph. You can transform that into a bullet-point list or outline that makes writing the story more manageable.

You Haven’t Been Writing For a While

Some writers dream of having the time to write every day. Others like to write, but wouldn’t want to spend hours every day with their latest draft.

No matter what you prefer, sometimes returning to the craft of writing can spark anxiety if it’s been a while since your last creative venture. Whether it’s motivated by guilt, embarrassment, or shame, you’re not alone. It’s a typical form of creative anxiety and it’s something you can absolutely handle.

Solution: Give yourself some slack. Writing routines always change. Sometimes life draws us away from our creative writing for months or years at a time. You’re still a writer. Whatever your story becomes will be valid.

You Have a Loud Inner Critic

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to write but your inner critic is holding you back. You might want to jump into editing so you only continue with a perfect draft. Maybe you’re constantly polishing your world-building or character details.

The pressure naturally translates into anxiety. It’s okay to step away from your work if this anxiety makes you uncomfortable. You can always return when your inner critic is distracted or you feel more naturally confident.

Solution: Ask that inner critic to take a backseat. They’ll give you a powerful advantage when you move from the writing phase into the editing phases. Linework and structural editing can always happen later. But to reach that point, you need a draft. Preferably, your worst draft possible. Go wild with your writing—that’s what a first draft is for.

-----

It’s okay to love creative writing and also feel anxious about it. I think the only time anxiety didn’t affect my writing was when I was a kid and had never received criticism, constructive or otherwise.

Be gentle with yourself as you reflect on your anxiety triggers and potential solutions. You’re in the for the long run. Sustainable help will be your best source of help.

#writeblr #writing encouragement #writing advice #writing tips #writers of tumblr #writing anxiety #creative writing

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therealcocoshady · 7 months

Text

Recovery - Chapter 12

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Reader explains the origin of the nude pictures and Em decides to take action to prevent them from leaking.

Tags : Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Smut

CW : Argument - Mention of domestic violence - Mention of nudity - Sexual intercourse - Mention of drugs and overdose

Three years ago, you were just starting out your relationship with Simon. The two of you had been beating around the bush for a while and he had finally asked you out, right when you thought you were stuck in the friendzone forever. However, as time went on, things had not progressed the way you hoped they would. The dates he took you on were always nice and you had fun getting to know each other on a more personal level. You could even go as far as to say that some of these dates were extremely romantic. But after nearly five months of dating, you had not gotten past kissing and a bit of mild foreplay. Eventually, you’d grown tired of it and started to wonder if there was something wrong with you. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to you that way, or maybe you weren’t pretty enough. Or maybe you hadn’t been sending the right signals ? Either way, part of you wanted to send the message that you were ready to take things further, on a physical level. That is when Cassie suggested that you send him a few suggestive photos. She presented the idea in such a way that it actually sounded good, even though it was slightly out of character for you. She wasted no time and even took you shopping for some nice lingerie. You went back to your dorm room where you set up your camera and snapped shots in the different sets you had bought before sending them to your friend so that she could tell you which one you should send to Simon. Eventually, though, you decided against sending the pictures, going so far as to delete them. This proved to be a good decision. It turned out that Simon was attracted to you - more than you thought - but wanted to plan the perfect evening and make it romantic. Plus, you’d come to learn that he thought really poorly of girls who took this type of suggestive pictures anyway. If anything, you sending him those pictures would have ruined your chances with him. You never mentioned the shots to him and even came to forget about them. Until they showed up in Paul Rosenberg’s inbox, that is.

When he showed them to you, you were in complete shock, taken aback. You didn’t even remember taking these pictures in the first place. With the events of the last few months, your memory wasn’t the sharpest either, so it took a while for you to actually remember taking them and in what circumstances. But now it was clear as day : Cassie hadn’t actually deleted the pictures as you had directed her to. It was the only reasonable explanation.

Oh God, you whispered as you put the pieces together.

What ? Marshall asked.

I took these pictures when I was with my ex, you started to explain.

And that motherfucker leaked them ?! He started to yell.

He would never, you said. But that’s besides the point. I never actually sent them to him. Didn’t have the guts. I deleted them and thought they didn’t exist anymore. But I had sent them to Cassie.

Cassie ? He asked. I mean, I know there’s some drama with her, and that she said some unkind things, but are you sure she would leak some intimate pictures of yours ?

That’s the thing, you said. I’m pretty sure she sees me as the opposite now. Talia paid her a visit and… apparently, things escalated.

Yeah, I know that… she was going to talk to her, he said. But how bad could it have been ?

They pretty much beat each other up…

Shit, he said in an annoyed voice.

You shrugged. The more you thought about it, the more it made sense. You looked at Paul.

So… In your opinion, what do you think I should do ? You asked.

As I said, a procedure could take weeks, months even. But if he is to be believed, we only have a few days, he explained. I’m afraid you can’t do much. It’s a double-edged sword, really. If you were to confront her, this might prompt her to leak them.

I’m scared she’ll leak them anyway, you said. I mean… It doesn’t make much sense for her to send them to someone she doesn’t know just so that they’d have leverage over Marshall over some stupid diss-track, does it ?

You bit your lip. Your heart was starting to pound again. The idea that anyone else might come across these pictures made you sick. Marshall grabbed your hand.

I’ll take care of it, he said reassuringly.

But there’s nothing you can do, now, can you ? You asked nervously.

I’m not letting anyone get to you like this, he said firmly. Now, stop biting that lip and go hang out with the guys. I need to talk to Paul for a second.

I can’t face them, you said sheepishly.

Just for a minute, alright ? Then I’ll let you settle in the office so that you can work in peace, he offered.

You nodded and went to the lounge where you found the others talking. As soon as they saw you, they went completely silent.

Hey Y/N, Porter said. How are you doing ?

I’m good, you lied through your teeth.

You look lovely, Royce said.

Guys… I know you know. Please don’t pity me, you said with a sad smile.

No one’s pitying you, sis’, Jamal said.

If anything, we’re ready to kick some ass, Royce added. Seriously, what do you need ?

A Time Machine, you sighed.

Don’t worry, Porter said. We’re going to destroy that son of a bitch.

You smiled softly and made your way to the kitchen. You were depressed and wished there was something you could do. You couldn’t believe Cassie could do this to you. When you confronted her, you were mad, but you figured that the two of you would remain friends and get over it eventually. You thought you just needed time to forgive her. Surely, she couldn’t be mad at you for simply leaving her hotel room after an argument ? That didn’t make sense. Or maybe you were delusional and her altercation with Talia was biggen than you thought.

You let your tears flow silently as you made yourself a cup of tea. A few moments later, Marshall came to see you.

Hey beautiful, he said as he pulled you in for a hug. The office is ready for you. How about you take it easy today ? I could order some food for you, you could take a nap…

Mmmh, you simply said.

I’m so sorry, he said.

You shrugged, not saying anything. He kept his arms around you, even though you were not really responsive.

Really, Y/N, if I had known it would happen, I…, he began.

But you did nothing wrong, Marshall, you sighed. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. If I hadn’t gotten wasted, we wouldn’t have been spotted together and he wouldn’t have dropped that diss. I’m sorry.

It’s… What’s done is done, ok ? He said softly. He probably would have dropped a diss anyway. I mean, he came for a bunch of other rappers. So none of it is your fault.

He gently took your hand and led you to the office where you ended up spending the day working. Every so often, you couldn’t help but check your Instagram, which was blowing up. Even though you didn’t post anything nor interact, people kept on commenting on your pictures and DMing you. Eventually, you decided to change your profile to private. When you were ready to go home, you went to search for Jamal. In the hallway, you found Marshall and Talia, talking casually, a far cry from their last interaction.

Hey baby, she said softly.

Hey, you replied. I didn’t know you were here.

Just arrived, she explained. I came to pick you up, actually. Let’s go home, ok ?

Oh, I think Jamal was about to leave anyway, you said. But I’m glad to see you !

Jamal is staying here for a bit, Marshall explained. I need him to work on the beat for… You know.

Are you really going to reply ? You asked. I thought you didn’t want to.

Insults are one thing, he replied. This is going too far. I’m taking care of it.

You looked at him anxiously but he gave you a soft smile.

So… Are you guys… Alright ? You asked him and Talia, referring to their altercation from the other day.

Oh, that… Yeah, of course, Talia said.

Something in her tone seemed a bit uneasy, but you were tired and figured it was just your brain playing games with you. You hugged everyone goodbye and went home with Talia. The two of you spent the evening playing board games in order to help you clear your mind. You were about to go to bed when someone rang the doorbell. When you went to open the door, you found Simon standing there, a bouquet of peonies in hand.

Hey, Y/N, he said.

Simon ?! You asked in disbelief. What are you doing here ?

Look, I debated coming here at all, but I needed to see you, he replied. I’ve been thinking about you a lot these past few days and… I think I made the biggest mistake in my life when I left you. Can we… talk ?

Uh… Sure, you said.

You closed the door and went to the garden with him, sitting on the bench.

These are for you, he said as he handed you the bouquet. I know these are your favorites.

Thank you, you said softly.

It was weird that your ex was giving you flowers, but you were touched by the gesture. He remembered they were your favorites. Plus, after the day you had, it was more than welcome.

So… You wanted to talk ? You asked as you put the flowers aside.

Yes, he said. I have been an ass, I know it. I should have acted better. What I did was… unforgivable, really.

Thank you, you said.

I was hoping that, maybe, we could… Start seeing each other again ?

What about Sarah ? You asked. I thought she made you happy.

She did. She is great. But she is not you, he explained. The last few months of our relationship were hard but I’ve come to realize that… At the end of the day, you are the woman I promised to marry and have kids with. I can’t get over that. I’m not asking you to move back in, yet. I understand that we’re going to need time, but… I want you back, Y/N. I was serious when I said I wanted to have a family with you. I want to care for you.

Oh Simon, you squealed. I am not in the right headspace, right now…

Is it about him ? He asked. That Eminem guy ? Are you really seeing him ?

No, it’s not, you assured him. And his name is Marshall.

You can’t be with a guy like that, he said.

A guy like what ? You asked.

Y/N, he is… a rapper. These guys are dangerous. I mean, he is clearly a thug.

You let out a small laugh. You had come to forget that Simon had quite a disdain for hip-hop and rap. He was very similar to your father this way. To him, it didn’t qualify as “proper music”. You had never given it much thought before, but now, it made him seem like a total snob. The people you hung out with, they were far from being thugs.

He is not a thug, you said. He is great. And I owe him a lot.

Is it about the money ? He asked.

What the hell is that question ?! You asked back, clearly offended. Simon, you know me. I’m not… I’m not after money. I couldn’t care less about that !

Then what reason do you have to be with him ? Guys like that… They’re dangerous, he said with concern.

You haven’t met him, Simon. He is the least dangerous person I know, you said.

You don’t have to defend him, Y/N, he replied.

No, you don’t understand…

What good can he be for you ? He asked. I heard about the song that mentions you. And the threats to post pictures of you. If you were with me, you wouldn’t have to deal with that.

That’s not his fault, you sighed at the unfairness.

I don’t want to see you get hurt, Y/N… You know he beats up women, right ?!

You… What ?! You exclaimed. Simon, this is ridiculous. I know him, alright ? He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I know he has a reputation but it is nothing more than a persona, some tasteless jokes at worst. If you listened to his music, or if you knew him, you’d know.

He admitted to it, he said. I… When I saw you with him, I had to look into him, you know ? Just to make sure that you’re safe. And… Who in his right mind talks about killing his baby’s mother in a song ?! That’s not the kind of man you want to be associated with.

You sighed and looked at him. In truth, you hadn’t caught up with Marshall’s work so you had no idea what the hell Simon was referring to. But you knew Marshall enough to know that he was the least violent person on earth. The man you hung out with, that you befriended, was a gentleman and he would never hurt a woman.

You don’t know him, you simply said. I do. I know what he is made of, and he is not like this. He is one of the most important people in my life right now, and I won’t have you talk about him this way.

No, you don’t understand, Y/N, he repeated. This man is not good for you. He will never love you like I do.

He has my back and I have his. And he has shown me more love than you have in the past five months, you pointed out. For someone who loves me, you were nowhere to be found.

Yeah but when I saw you with him, I…

So that’s what it is about, you huffed. You just don’t want to see me with another man. That’s not love, Simon. That’s… territorial. You know, weeks ago, I would have given anything for you to knock on my door with peonies. I would have given anything for you to tell me you love me and that you want me back. But it is worthless if it comes from a place of jealousy and possessivity. I’d rather be alone.

He stared at you, looking sorry.

So it’s him instead of me ? He asked.

It’s me instead of anyone else, Simon. I am growing, I am changing and, believe me, I am not in the right headspace right now, you said. But if I have to put it this way… Yes, it’s him instead of you. I will have his back any day.

Don’t come crying when he hurts you, he simply said. You may have his back, but this type of man will always put himself first. Not you. No matter how you deserve it. He doesn’t have your back. Not even a little bit.

I think you should go, Simon, you said softly. Thanks for the bouquet, though. And for what it’s worth… I am sorry I said some unkind things last time you came. I wish for you to be happy. But it won’t be with me.

He stared at the ground while you got up and wished him good night. You went back in the house and put the flowers in a vase before going to bed.

When you woke up the next morning, you heard Talia and Jamal arguing in the kitchen.

Can’t you grab her phone and delete the apps so that she doesn’t see that thing ? Jamal asked.

She’s not stupid, Jamal, Talia argued. I think she deserves to know. If it were me, I would want to.

I can’t take her to the studio today, he said. Not like this.

You know full well we can't leave her alone in here, she said. Especially not if she sees… Who knows what she would do…

You finally entered the room, interrogation all over your face.

Shit, Jamal mumbled.

Hey baby, Talia said. How are you ?

You tell me, you sighed.

So… You heard us ? Jamal asked carefully.

You shrugged.

What’s that about ? You asked as you grabbed a glass of juice. Shouldn’t you be at work already, Tay ?

Yeah, I’m running a little late, she said in an annoyed voice. Look… A couple things happened. And I don’t know how to break it to you. We have… News. Good and less good.

About what ? You asked.

There’s a couple of things, Jamal said. First… We found a connection between Cassie and the rapper. Talia did, actually. That explains a few things.

Huh ? You asked. They know each other ?

The guy’s her cousin, Talia explained.

Are you sure ?

Yeah, she said. It hit me yesterday. When we were in the early days of college, she kept on bragging about how her cousin from New York was a rapper and how he was going to make it big and work with… Whoever. I did a bit of research and it turns out… It’s him.

That explains a few things, I guess, you sighed. Is there… Something else ? Like, bad news ?

Look, honey, Talia said softly as she grabbed the glass of juice from your hands. Maybe you should sit for a second ?

She pulled a chair for you and you sat, staring at them. It felt as if they were about to tell you that someone had died.

Now, I know this sucks, but I want you to remember that, whatever happens, we are here for you, ok ? She said.

Just spill it, you said.

Well, the thing is… Hum… How do I put this…

One of the pictures leaked already, Jamal said.

Your jaw was on the floor. You wanted to scream but were unable to.

A picture… of… me ? You asked. Of me naked ? It… It is on the Internet ?!

It’s not that bad, Talia said immediately. It could be worse, really…

No, Tay, you have no idea, you said. I have seen the pictures they plan on leaking. It’s bad.

I know. I haven’t but this one is ok, I guess, she replied. I mean… Some of my bikini pics aren’t that modest.

She pulled her phone and showed you the picture that was published on Twitter, on the rapper’s account. It was you, wearing a black lace bodysuit. You were laying in your bed, looking ingenuous, the black lingerie contrasting with the white bedsheets. In all fairness, it wasn’t as bad as a lot of pictures you could see on Instagram and other social media. Definitely more modest than some. Still, having this picture put out for the world to see without your consent was humiliating. It also made you scared, as you knew that this picture was the most modest of the whole set. The rest of them were clearly more suggestive. The reception was mixed. Some followers of the rapper didn’t shy away from commenting on your body (for better or for worse), mentioning how embarrassing it must be for Em to be with such a slut. Some people, however, expressed support for you and mentioned what a low blow it was to drag someone’s innocent partner in a feud. A few even encouraged others to report the pictures. Still, you were embarrassed. You buried your face in your hands.

Oh my God, you whispered. It’s happening.

There has to be something we can do, Talia said.

You need to take me to the studio right now, you told Jamal. I need to see Paul about this.

He simply nodded and you rushed upstairs to get ready. When you got to the studio, it was earlier than usual. Jamal stayed outside to smoke a cigarette while you got in, searching for Paul. As soon as you entered the building, you heard loud voices in the kitchen. It was Marshall arguing with Paul.

I’m just saying that it may be a better idea to distance yourself from her, Paul said. If you put out the track, it’s going to seem like the guy’s got you by the balls. Not to mention that it would mean you’d confirm the relationship.

I don’t care about that, Marshall groaned. You’ve seen the pictures, right ?! I can’t let it happen. Y/N is going to be crushed. I can’t do this to her.

Look, I hate to say it but… at that point, the guy may be winning anyway. If you don’t reply, he might leak the pictures, but if you do, it proves he’s got the upper hand, Paul said. At least, if you don’t publicly come out, you can keep your dignity. You can even deny the relationship later on.

Shut up, Marshall said. I’m not doing this. If we don’t do something, her pictures are going to be out there for everyone to see. You’ve seen these, right ? How would you feel if it were your wife’s pictures ? Or your daughter’s, or your niece’s…?

Marshall… Y/N made her bed. She willingly took these photos and she was careless with them. My job is not to let that hurt you, your career or your reputation, Paul replied. I couldn’t care less about her tits or her pussy being out there.

You better shut the fuck up ! Marshall yelled. Last time I checked, I hired you and I’m your boss. So you better stick to the plan and do your job. You handle legal, I handle music. Understood ?! And I won’t have you shame Y/N.

Paul sighed and they got out of the kitchen, only to find you standing in the hallway. Paul greeted you curtly before going to his own office, as Marshall came to hug you.

Hey, he said. Didn’t hear you come in.

I got here a few minutes ago, you simply said.

Shit… Did you… Hear us ? He asked, embarrassed.

I did, you sighed. Paul…

Paul’s an ass, he simply said. But we’re handling it, alright ? That dickhead is going down. In every way possible.

Marshall… The first picture was leaked, you said.

I know, he replied. But this might actually give us leverage. Now we have proof he is ready to make good on his threat. I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that, right ? I’m going to destroy that son of a bitch.

You have my back, you squeed as you were reminded of your latest exchange with Simon.

Of course. You know I do, he said with a smile.

Suddenly, you were overwhelmed with emotion, adoration and gratitude. This man was really coming through for you. Without a second thought, you pressed your lips to his, brushing them gently. You hummed softly as you broke the embrace.

Oh my god, I’m sorry…, You whispered.

Come back here, he whispered back with a grin.

He pulled you closer as he captured your lips with his. The kiss was soft and sweet. You could feel the warmth of his lips against yours. You put a hand on the back of his neck as he gently grabbed your waist. Your chest was soon pressed against his, as the both of you leaned into the embrace. You put all the emotions of the last week into this kiss. It was the relief you didn’t know you needed. However, the moment was interrupted by the front door opening. He gently let go of you before anyone walked in.

I better go. Tons of things to do for that diss track. But I’ll definitely come to get some more of this when I’m done, he hummed as he gave you a soft peck on the lips.

You nodded shyly and the both of you went about your day. You settled in his office, a bit giddy over the kiss. You hadn’t planned on kissing him, it was a spur of the moment thing, but you were glad he kissed you back. In the afternoon, Paul came to see you.

Y/N. Do you have a minute ? He asked.

Sure, you replied politely.

So, seeing as the first picture was leaked, we will be able to press charges, he said. I have already gathered pieces of evidence and we are ready to send the rapper a cease and desist letter. A police officer will come in a short while to take a statement from you.

Alright. What about Cassie ? You asked. She might as well decide to leak them on her own, though.

Well, that’s another story, he sighed. I don’t doubt you but, simply speaking, we don’t have proof she is the one who gave him the pictures. We can’t really do much about this girl, except for hoping she doesn’t have a mass platform to leak the pictures.

Well, she has about… 15K followers, I think ? You said.

So it’s less significant than the millions of followers that dude has, he pointed out.

Yeah but people will still massively share the pictures if they leak, you replied.

I know, he said. But I can’t do much more. I’m sorry.

She’s the rapper’s cousin, you added.

I know.

Isn’t that sufficient proof ? You asked tentatively.

That’s not how it works, Y/N. But maybe I could do something if you could provide me with the email or messages in which you sent the pics ? Or if you have a text that proves that you asked her to delete them at some point ? He asked.

It was three years ago, Paul. I… I don’t have these anymore.

I’m sorry. Then I’m afraid I can’t do much.

Thank you anyway, you sighed. I know it’s not in your job description. And that you “couldn’t care less about my tits or my pussy being out there”. But I appreciate it.

He nodded politely and left the office. An hour later, two police officers came in to take your statement. You were definitely ashamed, especially since one of them, a man in his early sixties, couldn’t help but comment on how foolish you had to be to take nude pictures. Yet, you could clearly notice he stared at your body. You knew he had seen the photos. Was this how it was going to be ? Would all of your interactions be this awkward from now on ? Shortly after they left, Marshall came to see you.

How did it go ? He asked.

Well they took my statement, you said. So I think that’s what matters. Would’ve been nice if the guy had stared into my eyes instead of my tits, though…

Fucker, he sighed.

How about you ? You asked. How is work going ?

Just finished recording, he said with a smile. The guys are going to work on some arrangements and then, all I’ll have to do is post it at the right time.

Ok, you said softly.

Want to come hang out with us ? He offered. You’ve been here since morning, you haven’t even eaten.

Well, believe it or not, having strangers comment on your body doesn’t really encourage you to eat a lot, you said sheepishly. Apparently my thighs are too fat, or something like that…

Bullshit, he scoffed. You’re just too hot to handle for the haters.

He stroked your cheek and gently took your hand.

Come on, he said. I think the guys miss you.

Do they ? You mused.

Of course, he chuckled. We love having you around.

Sorry, you said. I’m not the best company lately…

That’s understandable, he said as he placed a strand of hair behind your ear.

You shrugged and started to walk towards the door but he pulled you in for a kiss. He was holding you gently yet firmly, both hands on your waist. You traced his shoulders as you kissed him back.

I was looking forward to this, he whispered with a smile that made you blush.

He stroked your cheek and let go of you before the two of you went and joined the others. They were, indeed, happy to see you and were excited to let you hear the first version of the track they recorded. It was really good, especially considering how little time they’d had to work on it. You liked everything about it, from the beats to the lyrics.

What do you think ? Royce asked.

It’s really good, you said. By the way, how do you know who… “wins” ?

It basically comes down to the puns and bars, Porter explained. In some cases, it’s kind of a tie, but here, it’s going to be obvious to everyone.

Speaking of bars… Was the mention of my black lingerie really necessary, guys ? You asked.

Em, you’re on your own on this one, Royce said with a grin before they all got up to go and smoke a cigarette.

Marshall nervously scratched the back of his neck.

I mean… It sort of rhymed with the whole thing, he said. But if it’s too much, I can totally change it.

Mmmh, you said. I don’t know. I mean, Paul was right. If you do that, you’re basically confirming the rumors… You do refer to me as your “girl”...

It’s me having your back, he shrugged. Plus, it’s a line. Nothing more, you know ? I made sure not to put the focus on you. In the track, I also refer to Kim as my wife, so… But again, if you don’t like it, I can come up with something else.

No, no, it’s fine, you said. You’re the lyricist. I think I’m just embarrassed about this whole situation, you know ?

Don’t be, he said. I know the whole thing is unnerving right now, but we’re ending the guy as soon as this drops. Along with other surprises.

Meaning ?

You’ll see, he grinned. I don’t want to jinx it. But if everything goes according to plan, this guy will be OVER. I can guarantee you.

When is the track dropping ? You asked.

Sunday night.

It seems so far away, you sighed. I don’t mean to rush anything, and I appreciate you coming through for me, I do… But I am scared that he’s going to pull something else until then, you know ?

Oh, believe me, he’ll be busy, he said with a smirk.

And he was right. For the next two days, nothing else happened on social media. Your picture was still very much online and the whole story was picked on by a few news outlets, but at least, no more pictures leaked. On Sunday night, Jamal and Talia invited Marshall for dinner, to celebrate your first week of being sober again.

I have something for you, he said with a smile when he greeted you.

Do you ? You asked with a grin. You know you’ve done enough for me lately, don’t you ?

I know, but a deal’s a deal, he said. Happy one week of sobriety, Y/N.

He handed you a bag that looked unassuming from the outside. When you peeked inside, you let out a little shrieking noise. It was his Saint Laurent jacket.

Oh my God, you’re the best ! You said as you hugged him. You were feeling like a child on Christmas Day.

You’re welcome, he said with a laugh. Take care of it, alright ? It’s one of my favorites.

For how long do I have custody of that glorious piece for ?

Is a month alright ? I have a photoshoot planned, he said. I’d like to wear it.

Deal, you chuckled. Thank you thank you thank you !!!

Talia and Jamal were looking at you with amused looks on their faces.

What’s that about ? Jamal asked.

Y/N’s been eyeing my jacket for a while, he shrugged. We actually have a deal : for each sobriety milestone, she gets to raid my closet.

That’s going to help rumors, Jamal pointed out sternly.

We’re in Detroit, Marshall said. There’s no paparazzi here. Besides, I don’t think the track is going to help matters. I don’t really care, to be honest. But yeah, maybe don’t take pictures in my clothes, Y/N.

That’s fine, you said with a smile. We don’t want the world to see that I wear them better anyway, now, do we ?

Speaking of your clothes, Em, I think I washed some of them the other day, Talia said.

Oh, yeah, you said. The clothes you let me borrow last time. They’re in my room. I’ll go and get them. That way, I can put this beauty in my closet.

I’ll come with you, Marshall replied.

The two of you went upstairs. As soon as you entered your room, Marshall closed the door and pulled you in for a kiss, taking you by surprise.

Sorry, he chuckled. Had to say hello properly.

Hey there, you giggled. I like this.

Me too, he chuckled.

You put the jacket in your closet and gave him the clothes he had let you borrow the last time you were at his place, along with the merch tee-shirt.

Thanks for the clothes, you said softly.

I must admit I like you in my stuff, he said. You make it really sexy, you know ?

Do I ? You mused as you blushed.

Absolutely. And if it were just the two of us here… I would gladly show you how sexy I think you are today, he whispered in your ear.

His words had you turning crimson red. That was new. In the past, he had made a point to remind you that nothing was to happen between the two of you. Yet, he had returned your kiss two days ago when you kissed him, and he seemed pretty intent on doing it again, not that you had anything against it, on the contrary. However, this left you with a lot of questions. Unfortunately though, you were too much of a coward to ask them.

Are you alright there ? He asked.

Yes, you said shyly. I… Would like that, actually.

Good to know, he said as he kissed you again.

As the kiss deepened, you wrapped your arms around his neck while he gently squeezed your ass.

You drive me crazy, he whispered in your ear. You’re irresistible.

Is that so ? You grinned.

You have no fucking idea what you do to me, Y/N, he groaned.

Tell me, you whispered in between kisses.

I’ll show you, he grinned as he pulled you closer to him, making sure you could feel how hard he was.

I want you, you whimpered.

Not yet, he whispered in your ear. We’ll go for a drive after dinner, ok ?

You reluctantly let go of him. His words were promising and you weren’t too sure how you could be expected to wait. He winked at you and you both made your way downstairs and got settled for dinner. Marshall was constantly checking his phone, which was a bit unusual for him. After what seemed to be the thousandth time, he let out a victory smile.

Guys… This motherfucker is officially done, he declared proudly.

Dropped the track yet ? Jamal asked between bites or dessert.

Better. I got his label to drop him. And a promise from a bunch of others not to sign him, he said with a grin.

You didn’t ?! Talia exclaimed.

Oh, I definitely did, Marshall said. Track is dropping later tonight, and he already received a small surprise today.

You really went all out, you said.

Had to put this motherfucker back in his place, he shrugged. I’m sick of bastards coming for the people in my life. And this one was way out of line.

Dinner came to an end and Marshall convinced Talia to let you go with him for a drive. She lectured him and made him promise to bring you home before midnight but let you go eventually, as a present for remaining sober for a week. He drove you to the exact same spot you went to when you took the Aston Martin for a drive. As soon as the car was parked, he was all over you. You ended up in the backseat of the Escalade, making out while exploring each other’s body.

You’re so beautiful, he whispered in your ear.

I want you, you whimpered.

So soon ? He chuckled.

Please.

Anything for you, baby, he said as he kissed you.

The pet name made you giggle, but you soon let out a moan as he sucked on your neck while helping you undress. The sensation of his hands against your skin was delicious and you couldn’t get enough. Every inch of your body was craving for his touch and he seemed happy to oblige. You helped him undress as well and he kissed you hungrily before putting on a condom. He had you lay down in the backseat and looked in your eyes as he positioned himself at your entrance.

I want you so bad, he said.

Show me, then, you teased.

Before you knew it, he was inside of you, causing you to gasp at how big he felt.

You feel so good, he groaned.

You feel so good.

He grinned and started rocking his hips. Your nails were scratching his back while his fingers were digging in your waist. His mouth found your neck again and he let out a chuckle as he found out how easy it was to reduce you to a moaning mess by simply sucking on that sweet spot.

You like that, baby ?

Yes, you whined. Yes, yes, yes …

I could mark you up, you know, he whispered. That way, everyone would know you’re mine…

I want to be yours, you whimpered.

This prompted him to pick up the pace and, soon enough, he was slamming into you. You had to prevent yourself from making too much noise and started biting his shoulder.

Oh my god, you moaned. I think I’m going to come.

You think ? He teased as he thrusted even deeper. Or are you sure ?

I’m sure. Oh God, you cried as you dug your nails deeper into his skin.

I’m not done with you yet, he chuckled before getting out.

The sensation of hollowness was almost painful. You were desperate for him, longing to feel him again.

Get on top, he ordered as he proceeded to sit.

You did as he said and straddled, whimpering as he entered you again.

Take all of it, he whispered.

It’s too much, you whined.

You can do it, he said softly. You’re doing so good.

He gently teased your nipples with his hands and mouth as you were slowly grinding on him. He moaned as your movements became more frantic. The position allowed you to feel all of him and it soon became overwhelming, your thighs starting to become sore. You groaned in frustration.

Don’t slow down, he ordered. Keep going, baby. I’m so close…

I can’t, you whispered. Help me, please.

I got you.

He firmly grabbed your ass and started pumping. He was thrusting hard as you let your head fall back. After a moment, you found it in yourself to go again and your hips moved in sync. The sensations were exquisite and you felt closer than ever to your climax.

Oh God, you moaned.

Come for me, baby, he said gently.

But… you ? You cried.

I’m right there, he moaned.

You were euphoric as you felt waves of pleasure washing over the two of you. You could feel him twitch inside of you as he came and you couldn’t contain your own juices from spilling.

Oh shit, you said as you collapsed on top of him.

He chuckled before closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around your body. You could feel both of your hearts pounding, as you were chest to chest, and his breath in your neck. You were shuddering.

You’re incredible, he whispered in your ear.

You’re amazing, you said, still in a haze.

Here, take this, he said as he grabbed his jacket and placed it over your shoulder so that you wouldn’t be cold.

You stayed in this position for a while, neither of you really wanting to move. You nuzzled his neck as he played with your hair and stroked your back. You were about to fall asleep when he gently shook your shoulder.

Hey, beautiful, he said. Let’s get dressed. Otherwise we’re both going to fall asleep.

We can sleep here, you shrugged. I don’t care.

Talia will kill us if I bring you home one minute late, he pointed out.

Mmmmh, you groaned before burying your face deeper in his neck.

Come on, he chuckled.

You unenthusiastically got off him. He kissed you gently before grabbing some tissues for the both of you to get cleaned up. You got dressed and he disposed of the tissues and condom before getting back in the driver’s seat. He was groaning when you sat back in the passenger seat next to him.

Next time, we’re doing this in bed, he chuckled. My back is killing me.

Next time ? You couldn’t help but ask.

He turned to you and smiled softly.

Well, yeah, he said. Unless you don’t want to ?

Oh, no, I want to ! You said. It’s just… I thought that you… didn’t ?

I know, he said as he scratched his beard. I said a bunch of stuff, but… There’s just something about the way you draw me in. You drive me absolutely crazy, Y/N. There’s something between the two of us and I just can’t deny it’s there, you know ? When you kissed me the other day, something sort of shifted, it was… it felt kind of right, you know what I’m saying ?

You nodded shyly. It was exactly how you felt, and him saying he felt the same was a relief.

I care about you, he continued. I think you’re absolutely incredible and I really like our relationship. And I also really enjoy kissing you and the naughtier stuff, too. So… I guess what I'm really saying is that, if you’re up for it, maybe we could… Hang out a little more ?

He sounded almost shy and it was the most adorable thing ever.

I’d like that very much, you said with a smile.

Good.

You stared at each other and chuckled.

Now, he said a little more seriously, because I care about you, I think we should make things clear, ok ? What I said last time still sort of stands. You’re still in recovery, and that should come first. And most of all, I want us to be friends before being anything else. If being more doesn’t work out, I want us to still be friends. You mean so much to me, I don’t want to lose you.

Ok, you nodded.

Just because you have me wrapped around your pretty little finger doesn’t mean I’m not serious about that, ok ?

You nodded again and smiled shyly.

Good. Now I’ll take you home, he said with a smile.

Do you really have to ? You said as you batted your eyelashes.

Yeah. First of all, Talia is scaring the shit out of me and I don’t want to end on her bad side, he said with a smile. Also, you’ve had quite a week and you should rest.

Fine, you groaned.

He took you home and you spent a few minutes making out in the car before you had to leave. You were interrupted by the constant buzzing of your phone. It was an unknown caller and you decided not to answer. You resumed the kiss but were interrupted again. You sighed and decided to take the call.

Hello ?

You fucking bitch !!! You heard Cassie yell on the phone.

Cassie ?! You asked in disbelief, not believing that she would actually have the nerve to call you.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY PULLED THAT OFF. First you send Talia and your boyfriend after me ?! And now my cousin gets jumped at his apartment by dudes with guns ?! Who do you think you are ? She yelled.

First of all, I never sent anyone anywhere, you said curtly. Second, you are the one who got him to drop that track, aren’t you ? You’re the one who leaked my pictures !

Only because you sent Talia and Em to my hotel room to threaten me !!! You need to tell Em to back off, Y/N. This is too serious.

There was only Talia, you said. And I didn’t send her there. You two have your beef, do not make me a part of this, Cassie.

I swear he was there, Y/N ! He threatened me, she swore. So yeah, I told my cousin to add a reference to you in the diss - which was coming anyway - and I decided to use the pictures as leverage. But I only leaked the first one. I wouldn’t have leaked the others !!! We just wanted Em to answer, for publicity. But now, my cousin is in the hospital. Tell him to back off, or I swear I will end you !!!

You shot a glance at Marshall, who could clearly hear the exchange, as the two of you were seated side to side in the car. At first, you thought Cassie was lying. But the distress in her voice and Marshall’s ashamed look told you otherwise.

Let me call you back, you told Cassie. We will clarify the situation like adults. I swear I had no idea, ok ?

Whatever. I want proof Em’s backing off before tomorrow, she said before hanging up.

You stared at Marshall. His mouth was agape and you could see fear in his eyes. Like someone who knows they are in trouble.

Please tell me that’s not true, you said.

Y/N, he said, I’m sorry.

What part are you sorry for, exactly ?

I…- he began.

What’s up, Mr Lyricist. You don’t have words, all a sudden ? Let me help you. What. Are. You. Sorry. For ? Is it for the part where you lied to me about going to visit Cassie with Talia ? For the part where you threatened her ? For the part where you sent armed men to another rapper’s apartment ?! You asked with anger.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like that, he tried to explain.

I can’t believe you, you said as you left the car.

You walked through the driveway and made your way to the house as he followed you.

Y/N, I did that for you !!! Marshall pleaded.

For me ?! You asked with a sarcastic laugh. That’s rich. I didn’t ask for shit, Marshall.

I went and confronted Cassie with Talia because I couldn't stand to see you sad. I saw how distraught you were about those pictures. I had to do something, he said with sadness in his eyes. It drove me crazy to have this dude come for you.

Is that why you acted like a fucking thug ?!

I swear it wasn’t supposed to happen this way, he tentatively explained. They were just supposed to scare him. They didn’t mention shit about guns and they most definitely weren’t supposed to hurt him.

I can’t believe it, you said. I’m going to be sick.

You have to believe me, he pleaded. I only did that to protect you. Because I have your back. I only thought about you.

No you don’t. Guys like you… They don’t have anyone’s back except theirs, you said as you thought about Simon’s words. If you had my back, none of this would have happened. If you truly had my back, you would have put a statement right after the pictures came out. That would have actually protected me. But you only thought about yourself. All of this… It makes you look good, in the end. You eliminate concurrence, you get some press coverage out of it, you get the crowd hyped and ready for your next album and you even have people thinking you have a girlfriend so that they leave you alone on the subject. It’s a win-win situation for you, Em.

Don’t think that, he said with tears in his eyes. I was trying to save your reputation…

My reputation or yours ?! You yelled. My reputation was fine before I was publicly associated with you. No one dragged me in the dirt. No one mentioned my name on stupid diss tracks. No one tried to leak my nude pictures before. It’s all because of you, Em.

I swear to God, Y/N, if you call me Em one more time, he groaned.

What are you going to do ?! You asked with a manic laughter. Tell me, Em, because I am dying to hear it.

You do not want to see me get angry, he said as he closed his eyes.

What are you going to do, huh ? You asked as you got closer to him. Are you going to go all thug on me ? Are you going to have me held at gunpoint ? Or are you going to do whatever it is that you did to your ex or any woman you slept with ?

Do not mention that, Y/N, he warned as his eyes got darker.

Should I expect a diss track ? Are you going to rap about killing me ? You asked with anger. Or are you going to punch me ?

Go to hell, you ungrateful bitch, he spat. You think you’re respectable ? You are nothing but a whore and a junkie. I should have left you at that party, to get fucked by whoever was there. Hell, maybe it would have been better if you had overdosed on pills before we met.

You stood still, staring at each other in silence, taking in the words that were said. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you felt nothing but anger and sadness. All the affection and desire you had ever felt for him was replaced by hatred and disdain. At that point, it was clear that anything the two of you might have meant to each other was thrown to the fire.

I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me, Marshall, you said almost whispering. But in the end, you are the worst. I wish I had never met you.

With these words, you turned around and entered the house, ready to confront Talia.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #recovery fanfiction

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silverskye13 · 2 years

Text

Being the universe's smartest super computer still made for a derpy, non-functional person. It was really easy for people to get caught up in the Cool Sci-Fi Shenanigans of cyborgs and robots and forget how awesome and powerful organic, sentient life was.

For example: Xisuma has a perfect memory. If someone gave him a date and a time, he could scan back through his memory logs, replay recorded data and footage, and tell you the exact recipe he used for those vegan cookies that one time six years ago. He knows the ambient temperature of a froglight that's been submerged underwater for six hours, three minutes and twenty-nine seconds. He can rewind a recorded memory, pause the time lapse, and watch in slow motion as Grian breaks a stone block at spawn with his bare hands because he was bored during their intro-season speech.

However, recorded data takes up a massive amount of memory on a standard hard drive when you record everything you see as a passive function, and all of it has to be purged by hand, regularly, just so Xisuma can maintain the memory needed for daily functions. He's tried writing algorithms to do it for him, but even the best pattern recognition software can't account for his momentary preferences. What differentiates his favorite sunrise from any other? If he were human, he could program some kind of learning software using data from tables tied to the output of different brain chemicals and electrical pulses that most frequently line up with a formative memory -- but if he were human he wouldn't be making a program like that in the first place, now would he?

It's one of those long, long days of trawling through recorded data. It would be shorter if he would just parse through the most recent memories, but he likes keeping long-term memory storage at exactly thirty percent of his total data storage, and he's been resting at thirty-four percent for the past month. Putting off the inevitable. It's just, there's been a lot of stuff to remember the past few weeks, and it's hard to choose what to get rid of sometimes. He's started deep-diving through old data, walking down memory lane. He has to be careful, some of this data is important, tied intricately with the complex spider algorithm that forms his memory data access system.

Click! Click! Click!

"What are you thinking, X?"

The screen that makes up the lion's share of X's face organizes itself into a smile, lights flickering on in the nanoseconds it takes him to process the memory he's watching and attribute happiness to it. Yes, this is a good one.

The playback jolts as he looks down at Tango. Not pictured is a redstone project they are picking away at. Xisuma knows this because this particular memory has a transcript, full of branching tags and keywords that pull up a wealth of information alongside it.

That's another thing about memory that organic life never appreciates. Memory isn't just the memory itself. It's a web of associations built on prior, learned knowledge. A tree isn't just a tree. It's color and texture and symbol and "when was the first time I drew a tree?" and "apples" and "saplings" and a thousand other tiny associations they just arbitrarily have. Xisuma has to synthesize that web. A memory doesn't exist in a vacuum. Unlike the organic mind, however, Xisuma can pull up as much accurate information as he has the processing power for. This memory brings him two more closely associated recordings, associated memories he's kept for context, the transcripts of six more deleted memories, the definition of redstone, a playback of isolated sound he deemed important.

The playback continues.

Click! Click! Click!

"What are you thinking, X?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Tango, I didn't know you'd walked up! I was doing research."

"Yeah? What kind?"

"Oh well, you know the new update. Redstone's always a little finicky after."

"Right, yeah, totally. I've been putting mine off, honestly. I don't feel like fixing broken stuff right now -- oh but, I guess you can't wait, huh?"

Xisuma parses through the data brought up with the memory. He knows the date this was recorded, the recent change to redstone mechanics brought on by the server update. He'd had three farms break. There was a linked document to a transcript of Doc's rant on redstone as it relates to radiation. There was a script note document typed the day after this recording was created: Clicking Good. There was a preliminary version of what he'd nicknamed "The Tick Script.Exe".

"Yeah, I've got a lot of bugs to fix."

"Are you going to get rid of the clicking?"

"Clicking?"

The clicking was an ambient noise made when Xisuma's system was a bit bulkier, his algorithms and scripts that handled memory and data access crude and unperfected. It caused a disc in a driver somewhere to click when he did searches. At the time, the clicking had been the closest thing to an annoying habit Xisuma could manage.

Computers don't have habits. Habits are repetitive motions that become subliminal, that take effort to break, and are oftentimes formed subconsciously. Xisuma doesn't have a discernable difference between conscious thought and subconscious. He has background processes, he has backburnered data, and he has executive commands.

Xisuma queries the memory, pulling up related tags and searches, letting the algorithm reach. This memory had been the start of a, for lack of a better term, humanification process for him. There was his observation table on organic ticks, habits, and movements. It had taken a lot of uncomfortable staring, but back then, staring was all he'd known how to do. One of the first entries on the table was blinking. Organic things blinked, clearing away dust and debris from lenses and membranes. Xisuma didn't have eyes, didn't blink. But the screen that managed his facial expression animations could be programmed to blink.

Xisuma queries blinking. He pulls up a transcript of an interaction with Stressmonster, where she mentioned he blinked every thirty seconds. She knew this because when she first noticed him blinking, she'd noticed it's regularity. That was when Xisuma learned that, to convincingly blink, time variation was necessary.

Coding randomization into redstone circuitry had always been difficult.

Xisuma returns to the Tango memory recording, replays the question about the clicking, the unintentional habit. Xisuma still clicked when he thought. The others probably still thought it had to do with bulky drivers. In reality, it had been a test in trial and error.

How many clicks was acceptable for a thinking pattern? The three dot ellipses was common in writing, and a two dot pattern was too reminiscent of a heartbeat. When he'd temporarily switched to a four dot pattern, he'd noticed people getting impatient, or worrying if his mechanics were stalling. (Stalling and slow loading does sometimes happen, but it manifests in freezes and long pauses, not in repeating clicks). He invented a three click pattern, tested a variety of click sounds, settled on something similar to a rotary phone click when a number is dialed. It was a good sound. Heavy and sharp. It sounded like something falling into place with intention. Click! Click! Click!

Xisuma doesn't actually need a sound to think. But it's a clever replacement for harder to code things, like remembering to two a surface or fidget.

Click! Click! Click!

Shifting weight had been a harder thing to code. Standing stationary, legs an equal width apart, was the most steady way to stand. It also made him look like a statue, made his unblinking stares eerie and uncomfortable. Organic things read it as unnatural, borderline on predatory. Large predators often froze and stared right before pouncing.

Looking back through old memories, Xisuma could tell if they were from before or after his algorithmic programming because of how still they were. Made for clearer visuals, and he knows in high-stress situations that focus on accuracy, he can cycle them off, but they're comfortable for people to watch.

Xisuma rocks back on his heels away from the screen he's watching. If someone else were in the room, it would be a sign of thoughtfulness. For him, it's the execution from a random table of acceptable fidgets while standing still. He should turn it off. He's alone right now. But sometimes the movements still catch him off-guard and the longer they run, the more he gets used to them.

Xisuma queries: rocking on heals

He gets a handful of save recording bits. Doc rocks onto his back legs and stretches his forelegs. Gem rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet, her arms crossed behind her back, mischievous and excited. Scar rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms, thoughtfully examining some terraforming. Xisuma isolates the last recording and mimics it, feeling how the weight of his crossed arms counterbalances the lean back.

Xisuma queries his habits table and adds the motion to the list.

He never quite figured out how to program what to do with his hands. They spent a lot of time at his sides, or in pockets. Objectively he knew that was bad. Hiding the hands was often a sign of hiding something, and he liked being transparent.

Xisuma queries: Hands

Xisuma blinks at the long list of results.

Xisuma queries: Hands behind back

He gets several animations of Gem, Grian, and Scar, all with some variation of hands behind their backs and mischievous grins. Most of them are snippets made for studying purposes. Two are attached to longer videos, catalogued memories he's kept. His query returns almost four hundred memory transcripts.

Xisuma likes making transcripts. He feels it's similar to the hazy, distant memories people have when time and distance transform them. When someone else remembers something falteringly, he remembers the way he described it to himself. The older transcripts were rougher. He's gotten better at writing them over the years. His learning and pattern recognition softwares are still pretty good, even if they aren't perfect enough to manage the full range of expression on their own.

Xisuma queries: Do my friends know how hard it is to look organic?

This returns no direct results. He receives a directory of the people he's flagged as "friends" over the years, an article on the recent organics additions to the world in the latest update, and a handful of unrelated memory documents where he'd asked this question before and similarly pulled up no response.

Xisuma queries: Do I care?

This pulls up more entries. Xisuma glances across them and clears them.

Xisuma queries: Do I care today?

This pulls up only slightly fewer entries. He smiles. Asking subjective questions to a computer never gleans intended results. Computers aren't subjective. Or, well, they're not supposed to be. Of course, if he were merely a computer, he wouldn't be doing this, would he? If he were merely a computer, he would be sitting on a shelf, or a desk, running prewritten programs and searches for someone else, letting someone else build his code, rules by the guidances and intentions of someone who ultimately viewed him as a tool, if nothing else.

Xisuma queries: Who's flying this thing, if not me?

He pulls up a list of song lyrics and chords, a clip from a movie he'd watched once, an IMDB rating off some database somewhere.

Xisuma clears the data. He pulls up the last memory he was watching, rocks back on his heels and crosses his arms thoughtfully. He presses play.

Click! Click! Click!

"Are you going to get rid of the clicking?"

"Clicking? Oh, I guess I am clicking, aren't I? It's just an inefficiency. I'll fix it at some point, I guess."

Tango smirked at him. One of his hands plucked at his sleeve. Xisuma clips the motion, tags it with hands, nervous, thoughtful, fidget.

"You sure it needs fixed? I kinda like it."

Click! Click! Click!

#the barking writer #xisuma #hermitcraft fic #robot!xisuma #android!xisuma #woe! my headcanons be upon ye!#ive been reading a lot of scifi lately #like... A LOT of scifi #like almost 200hrs of audiobooks in the past 3 weeks #long post #longpost

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