#i start marching band tomorrow

[cocoo299]

Part 4....... barely pushing through....

Fitting them all on the wheel is proving to be difficult

[unicornsaures]

okay eeeerrrrr band camp crying chronicals part two!

[impulsivedecisionsat3am]

forgot it’s a sunday. fuck

[xzazzletheclownx]

Are you a dot book because I’m not done with you yet😏 (Marching band rizz)

[harlequinhovers]

banging my head on my desk grrrrr grrrrrrrrrrr

[written-in-starlight]

Me: I'm totally normal about music!

New music releases: hahahaha no you're not

[amisonist]

fuck it transition timeline

I was originally gonna wait until July to do this because that'll mark 3 years on E but I feel like now's a good time all things considered

With that out of the way lets start from the beginning AKA freshman year (AKA 2018)

This was on my way to band camp which is why you can see my trombone in the background (random fact: that was the only year I got to do marching band and our show was "the music of harry potter". yeah irony's a bitch ain't she?)

Graduation picture featuring the bestest boi Jinn :3

This pic is from 2020 because I switched to online and finished high school early out of spite (I was 16 here if you were wondering)

Now then this is from 2021 and was taken only about a week before I started hrt when I was 17

The lake in the background is Lake Superior in case you were wondering. Me and my mother were all the way up on the Keweenaw Peninsula for my family's 4th of July party held at the family farm

Moving on from that I started HRT on July 22 2021 (the appointment was at 9:30 am and I took my first dose at 7:42 pm yes I kept track)

This was taken like a half hour after my first dose (I actually don't really like this pic that much but I'm including it because it is important)

Fast forward from that a year to 2022 when I was 18 and here are a few pics of me around then one of which again featuring best boi Jinn

(it was windy out that day and he tried to bite me immediately after this lmao)

I've never been particularly good at taking selfies lmao

That brings us to now. I've been on hrt for about 2.5 years now if my math is correct. I'm pretty much living full time as a woman, started laser hair removal a couple months ago (next apt is actually tomorrow lol), and I'm working on getting my legal name and gender changed. It's been a long ride thus far and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon so yeah here ya go

So that's it! At least thus far lol

also fuck photomatt 🚗🔨💥

[pretty-sparkle-bomb]

Guys it's sporting season in my school and damn did I mention how hot he looks...? No?

Check out my Bakugo Masterlist here! This series is linked under the name "Highschool Crush"

P1, P2, P3, Pt 4, P5

♡~

You have to come! I promise, it'll be worth it!" Mina says to you on the phone, her eyebrows furrowed and lips curled into a pout. You look to the top right corner of your phone and sigh.

11:00

"I don't wanna. He doesn't like me. I barely saw him this week and he hasn't even breathed in my direction," you mutter, watching her tear her closet apart in an attempt to find something cute to wear.

Tomorrow was one of the biggest days of the school year—the annual sporting festival.

Originally, you had everything planned out. You would be in the marching band, run the female relay race, and maybe participate in one of the distance races.

However, life seemed to have other plans because you were replaced in the band without explanation, and you pulled a leg muscle while playing football, leaving you useless for the rest of the week.

"He was busy! You of all people should know that, y/n. He's been training to beat everyone on the field. I hope you remember that your man is a perfectionist and won't stop short of being the best, especially since no one is allowed to use their quirks," she rambles, giving you a pointed look. "Now, blue or pink?" she holds up two cute tops to her upper body, giving you a little pose.

"Blue," you decide, knowing that the sky-colored tube top will complement her body and give her a soft appearance. "I know, but men have priorities. Maybe I'm not a priority to him," you continue, shoulders sagging slightly.

"Really?" she deadpans, dropping the pair of jeans she selected. "Maybe you haven't given him a reason to make you his priority," she shoots back, her eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

Her words hit a chord within you. Maybe she was right.

"Come on, I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning. I'll help you pick a cute fit. You don't have to do anything tomorrow but sit there and cheer him on. It'll be fun!" she begs, picking up the phone and looking into it, giving you puppy eyes.

"Fine. First thing tomorrow morning." You agree, and she jumps around excitedly. "Oh, I am so going to push you into him tomorrow!"

"Mina!"

♡~

As you step onto the field, your eyes immediately dart across the large expanse. Tents are scattered everywhere, each housing different groups—athletes warming up, the marching band tuning their instruments, shifters practicing their quirks for the show, and first-aid stations preparing for the inevitable bumps of the day.

"Find him yet?" Jirou nudges your hand. You continue searching, going on your tiptoes. Why does the field have to be so large? You groan, hanging your head. Mina links her hand with yours and Jirou does the same, leading you to an area where you'd be able to see all the action taking place.

They spread a blanket and plop down, gesturing for you to do the same. You kick off your shoes and lay on Jirou's lap as she plays with the ends of your hair.

Mina's eyes are scanning the field as she taps her foot, occasionally gasping when she thinks she sees him.

"You'll spot him soon enough," Mina teases, glancing over with a grin. "Just be patient."

"Easy for you to say," you mumble, covering your face with your hands. "I feel like I’m going crazy over here."

Jirou chuckles softly, carefully applying some mascara. "Relax, he’ll be out there doing his thing soon. And trust me, you’ll know when he’s on the field."

You peek out between your fingers, sighing. "You two are ridiculous."

"You love us," Mina sing-songs, stretching out on the blanket next to you. "But seriously, when you see him out there, just let it all go. Cheer him on, and don’t overthink it. Scream for him."

"Ayo?" Jirou teases, and the two burst into laughter.

The speakers crackle to life as Aizawa starts listing off the events. The excitement builds around you, with students chatting and cheering, the athletes gearing up for their races, and the band beginning to play a lively tune in the background.

And then, you spot ashen blond hair.

It's him.

It's him, and he's looking right back at you. It's him, and his face is filled with surprise. It’s him, and his eyes soften when they meet yours. It’s him, and… oh my gosh, did he just smile at you?

Bakugo thinks you look gorgeous. Scratch that, he doesn't know how to describe you. No word in the dictionary compares to you in this moment.

He feels his heart tighten. Is this how you feel when you look at him? He feels all mushy, and it's scaring him. Why are you making him feel this way? So... vulnerable.

He looks away and tries to focus on the assignment at hand. His coach pats his shoulder and hands him the baton. Right, he needs to find his team and go over their plan. He doesn't have time right now. He's supposed to be busy.

"Did he just look away from you?" Jirou asks calmly, even though she wants to go over there and rip his head off.

Your eyes drop to the ground and your mouth is dry. Yeah, he did. You just shake your head. "I dunno."

Mina rubs your hand. "I'm sure he didn't mean to, bun. He's probably busy."

You scoff, turning away. “It’s whatever. If he doesn’t want me, I can always go and cheer for Midoriya.” Picking up your bag and slipping your shoes back on, you make your way to the athlete’s tent. Unbeknownst to you, Mina and Jirou secretly fist-bumped behind you. Their plan was in motion.

“Hey, Midoriya!” you chirp, walking closer to the greenette. He turns around, a slight smile on his face as he fixes his knee band, standing up from his crouching position and doing a pistol squat. He mumbles something to himself before running a hand through his hair. “Funny seeing you here, thought you said you weren’t coming.” He chuckles, placing a hand on the small of your back and leading you to the middle of the tent, where all the others were.

“I know, it was a last-minute decision.” You play with your hair as he pulls out a chair and motions for you to have a seat.

“Oh… well in that case, you think you could help me out a bit?” he pulls out a bottle of sunscreen and a black headband, sitting cross-legged in front of you and taking off his shirt.

The request was a bit unusual, but you knew Midoriya. The kid was too pure for his own good, so you knew that this was innocent.

“Yeah, sure,” you say, squeezing some sunscreen into your hand. As you start rubbing it onto his back, he hums contentedly, completely unaware of the pair of carmine eyes focused on the two of you. Honestly, screw Bakugo. Why not focus on someone who actually pays attention to you?

“So, are you ready for your race?” you ask, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. Midoriya’s muscles tense slightly under your touch, and he nods, his eyes closed. “I’ve been training with Todoroki a lot. Maybe I can give Kacchan a run for his money.”

You blink in surprise. “Aren’t the boys from 1A going up against 1B?”

He smiles, passing you the headband you gave him. “No, they made some changes this year. We’re going to be making our own teams.”

“Oh,” you blink. Well, who were you supposed to cheer for now? Bakugo or Midoriya? You make a secure knot at the back of his head, fingers carding through his hair in a lousy attempt to tame his mop of curls.

Without warning, the voice of Present Mic booms across the area, nearly bursting your eardrums. “All teams for the boys relay race, please proceed to the track!”

Midoriya stands up, adjusting the headband with a bright smile. “Looks like that’s my cue,” he says, bouncing on his feet in preparation for the relay. He glances at you with a hopeful look. “You’ll cheer for me, right?”

You offer him a soft smile, but your mind is spinning. Should you cheer for Bakugo or Midoriya? Both are your friends, but one of them… well, he makes your heart race in ways you can't explain. Before you can respond, Midoriya pats your shoulder lightly and jogs off toward the track, leaving you with that lingering question.

As the teams start assembling, you spot Bakugo on the other side with his arms crossed, looking focused. You can't help but notice that his eyes keep drifting toward you. Each time they do, something tugs at your chest.

Why did he look away earlier?

Mina and Jirou appear beside you, both with mischievous grins. “So, who are you rooting for?” Mina teases, bumping your shoulder.

Jirou smirks, passing you a bottle of water. “Yeah, y/n. Bakugo or Midoriya?”

You bite your lip, unsure of what to say. You want to cheer for both of them, but your heart keeps pulling you in one direction.

Just then, Bakugo glances at you again, his gaze intense. For a second, it feels like he’s waiting for your answer too.

“Not sure. Come on, I need to get closer to the track,” you say, standing up and making your way to the field.

As you and your friends move to the side, Bakugo’s sharp gaze follows your every move. Watching you help Deku makes his blood boil—not at you, never at you—but at how easily that nerd made you smile, asking you to do something only couples should share. Couldn't he have asked round-face instead?

He steals another glance at you as you walk with Mina and Jirou, and his mind races as much as his heart. He’s used to being in control, but when it comes to you, control slips through his fingers. He keeps catching himself looking for you in the crowd and his heart stutters when your eyes meet. The worst part? He has no idea what to do about any of it.

“Dammit,” he mutters under his breath, trying to shake the irritation bubbling inside. He’s the best. He’s Bakugo Katsuki. No one—not Deku, not anyone—was going to get in his way. Especially when it came to you.

As he watches you settle onto the blanket with Mina and Jirou, he makes a final decision.

If you’re still undecided, then he’ll show you exactly who deserves your attention. He’s going to leave every other competitor in the dust, prove that no one can compare to him.

Bakugo takes a deep breath, his eyes narrowing in focus as the call for the race start echoes across the field. He feels the adrenaline rush as the onlookers cheer and scream.

He’ll show you. He’ll show you what it means to be the best. He’s going to win, and when he does, he wants you to be cheering for him.

♡~

Taglist!

@mimidonottouch @mikestuffffs @vant3hell @succulent-momma @minkyungseokie @sugurusmoon @idkwhattocallmyselfs @cutebutpsychooxx @jprincesssf @unofficialsapphire @zanyqueencoffee @maddie-rose-1 @madisonnnnnstvr @aefillor @love-me-satoru @meeeepsworld @oddball08 @reads-stuff-quietly @starmycar @djlance-rock @bkgsdoll @nqobil3 @your-mum3000 @dynakats @emmaiskoolio @ggrumbir @ginevraxrogers @emmab3mma @andyetshewrote @ggrumbir @the-weeping-author @suki0 @drxgonspine @bunny-b34r @annoying-bitxh @ushygushybaby @hauntedstudentobservationus @spicynoodles23 @xrenka @djlance-rock @amanita-raine @keikokashi @krbkswifey @shoo-00

[bigassmoonchild]

this is just pure self induglence

can i request ghost ripping into each member of the team over something stupid they did and when he finally get to us he cant yell and tell us not to do it again really sweetly and leaves the room and soap asks us how we get him to be nice and it leads to them finding out

A. we outrank him

B. hes our hubby and cant be mean to us even if he tried

(i love it when soap just never gets told anything about simons personal life. it’s like another way soap and ghost just go at each other to me 💀)

🫶🫶 (love my anons)

‘you need to start thinking more, sergeant!’ ghost nearly growled into soaps face. ‘if you’d think, maybe we wouldn’t ‘ave had to evacuate like we did, and maybe there wouldn’t have been three dead!’ and all soap could do was look away.

price had disappeared. he well outranked the lieutenant and didn’t need to stay behind for the talking to everyone was getting. you, though, you stayed because you wanted to.

he moved on to gaz, staring down at the younger man. ‘and you’re supposed to be with him,’ he pointed at soap, ‘at all times. did you forget? is that why he went off and fucked up?’ he snarled.

soap opened his mouth, ready to defend gaz before ghost cut him off. ‘don’t you even think about it, sergeant. i want you both on the field tomorrow. 0500,’ and he turned to you.

soap and gaz watched as the lieutenant just looked at you, your eyes glaring through his own. it was like you were talking to each other without speaking, and ghost shook his head. ‘don’t do that again,’ he huffed out and marched away.

gaz visibly relaxed, allowing his shoulders to fall from their stiff position. rubbing at his neck, he looked between you and soap.

‘i’m just gonna go on and get some food. might knock out early so ghost doesn’t fuck me up too bad tomorrow,’ and he walked off.

falling into step beside you, soap and yourself just walked for a bit. soap needed to blow of some steam. ‘how do you do it?’ he turned to you, face fallen and almost hurt. ‘i don’t get it, he never yells at you, he doesn’t do anything to you,’ he shook his head.

the mission hadn’t gone as poorly as ghost had thought. there were some missing pieces of intel, a few soldiers lost in the ranks here or there. maybe an outdated blueprint.

where you’d been watching, ready to help snipe should anything go wrong, things seemed to be going okay. soap hadn’t fucked anything up too bad, he just hadn’t seen someone walking by before they’d seen him.

he was almost shot, barely getting away. gaz had barely gotten away with the needed intel, but had to lose the person you’d been after. that was going to ruin a lot of things in the long run.

‘you didn’t do as poorly as ghost thinks,’ you said to soap, ignoring his initial comment. ‘he just gets all up in his head, believes that anything that goes wrong is nobody’s fault but ours,’ you told him.

you weren’t going to explain how he believed it was his own fault. when soldiers he was leading fell, he took it as though he was the one killing them.

soap shook his head. ‘how do you do it? he barely even tells you when you screw things up,’ you gave a little laugh.

‘oh he tells me, soap,’ you responded. ‘you just don’t ever see it, because he’s private. sure, i may outrank him, but-‘

‘you outrank ghost?’ he stared at you, brows furrowed. you nodded.

‘i just don’t ever wear my stripes or pins,’ you told him. ‘colonel, but i’ve stepped aside to help you guys out. god awful amount of paperwork, though,’ you shrugged and looked away.

soap shook his head. ‘he yells at price sometimes, but he never even gets angry at you. there’s something else,’ you gave soap a little smile.

finally looking back at the scot, you fully grinned at him. ‘it’s cause i’m his wife, and he’d be sleeping with the dogs if he ever yelled at me,’ you told him.

blinking at you, soap took a moment to process it. ‘you’re his what?’ you nodded, pulling the necklace with your wedding band on it. he grabbed it gently, staring at the pretty stone. ‘he even knows what type of metal you wear?’

you nodded. ‘he’s a genuine sweetheart sometimes, but he has his reasons for speaking to you guys the way he does,’

‘i guess,’ soap looked away. ‘ever think about having kids,’ you shoved him away from you, laughing.

[cumikering]

Guitarist Gaz x reader

2k | fluff, teenage crush, late 90s You were in a band with Gaz

“You’re pulling my leg,” Kyle deadpanned.

“Really. My mum said I should be studying for my A-levels.” Jack hung his head as he tried to smear off the crusty mud from the side of his sole.

“But the gig is this weekend!”

“’m sorry, Gaz. She’s holding my guitar hostage. Said she’s going to sell it if I’m not home right away after classes.”

“You know we can’t do with only three members,” he said exasperatedly.

“There’s still a few days, I’ll help you find someone.”

After band practice sans Jack “mum-said-I-can’t” Wilshire, Kyle hopped onto the local forum with a grumble.

This was stupid. It would take a miracle for him to find a replacement for Jack in mere days. Regardless, he punched the words into his keyboard.

Sixth Form alt band looking for a stand-in guitarist for a birthday gig this Saturday

Later that night, his PC pinged with a notification.

Hiya, I’m interested in the gig. Where do you practice? I can meet tomorrow to see if I’m a good fit.

He breathed a sigh of relief. There was still hope. He didn’t have to cancel and embarrass himself.

Sweet. Here’s my college. See ya at the bus stop at 2 mate

The next day after classes, Kyle and his two bandmates waited at the bus stop.

“Gaz, how do you know he’s not a no-show?” Tim sat on the bench, twirling his drumsticks.

With his foot, Owen toyed with the overgrown grass under the bus stop sign. “We’ve been waiting forever.”

“Come on, lads. We need him, yeah?” He turned to them, trying to cheer up his mates. ”Let’s just hope he’s decent.”

Across the street, a bus alighted with a screech and a loud hiss. A few seconds later, it departed, revealing you behind it. You wore your college’s uniform, hair lightly tousled from the weather, your gig bag on your back.

“It’s a she?” Owen straightened up.

“Well, I assumed-“

Tim stood up, slipping his drum sticks in his back pocket as he walked over with a smile.

“No,” Kyle stood in front of him, trying to bite down his smile. “She talked to me. I go.” He marched towards you, ignoring Owen’s ‘or we could wait for her to cross the street’.

“Kyle?��

“Hiya.” He smiled, the most charming one he could muster. “Thought you were a bloke.”

You cocked your brow. “I thought the handle was obvious.”

Was it? He was too focused on the fact that he got a candidate (the only one so far).

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, well let’s go meet the lads.”

You followed as he made his way towards his mates.

“This is Owen, our bassist.”  He pointed at the tall bloke with the blond buzzcut. “And this is Tim, our drummer.”

He nodded at you, his dark fringe bobbing in the air.

“And me, I’m the vocalist and lead guitarist. You’re going to be Jack’s stand-in as the rhythm guitarist. Is it okay if you play us something here? Apparently, we’re not allowed to bring non-students onto the campus.”

“Yeah, no worries.” You sat on the bench and took your guitar out. “Anything specific?”

“Nope, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

The familiar intro of Wonderwall wafted in the air. You were a little quiet at first but encouraged by the approving nods and smiles of the lads, you opened up. Kyle watched the way you strummed, fingers expertly dancing across the fretboard, chords held precisely. Your clean notes did the classic justice. They all sang the last verse together.

“Wow, that was real sweet.” Owen said.

“Watch out, Gaz, you might be the stand-in by the end of this.”

He gave Tim the side eye before smiling at you. “Should we start practicing today?”

Practice was at Tim’s the days leading up to the gig, as it always was. His spacious room was cosy and soundproof, plus his mum baked the best cookies.

How obvious was it that Kyle always wanted to sit next to you on the bus? Or let his mates walk ahead of the both of you, so he could have a little moment with you to chat?

But it was the next day that he only dared to make his move.

“It’s getting late. Would you like me to walk you home?”

You looked up as you zipped your gig bag close.

“I live closer to you than her and you never offer to walk me home,” Owen chided, making Tim cackle from the other end of the room.

He pretended not hear anything, his eyebrow rose instead as he rapidly lost his cool.

You stifled a laugh. “Okay,” you said.

Kyle beamed, flipping Owen the bird before he shut the door on his way out. He left his guitar because ‘we’ll be back tomorrow anyway’ and helped you carry yours instead.

“You hungry? That chippy is good.” He pointed at a busy shop on your way to the bus stop.

“I am, actually.” Your steps slowed.

After a bit of queuing, the both of you sat in the cramped corner of the shop.

You took small bites of your piping hot chips. “What are you doing after Sixth Form?”

“I’m enlisting in the army,” he said with pride.

You smiled. “Your parents must be so proud.”

“They are. I’ve always wanted to do this and I’m glad they’re supportive.”

“I wish you the very best, Kyle. I think you’d be a wonderful soldier.”

He beamed. “Thank you.”

The conversation continued to what you were going to study in uni, and how the both of you got into music. He told you all about his heroes and seeing how you lit up in recognition of the names made him gooey. You get me.

After the meal, you waited at the deserted bus stop, pedestrians passing occasionally.

“Can I play?” He gestured at your guitar.

You nodded and he took it out of the bag, skilfully picking the strings to Iris. You smiled in recognition of the song and couldn’t help singing along. Engrossed in the little concert, none of you registered the bus was approaching.

His hands slowed, and you turned behind you.

“Oh, need to go, need to go!” You laughed, grabbing the bag beside him, scrambling to the edge of the pavement.

He smiled behind you as you boarded. The bus had no empty seats left, and the both of you stood there facing each other as he held your guitar, resting it on his shoe.

You didn’t seem to want to meet his eyes, but he found it cute. You had a sweet smile and an even sweeter laugh. He appreciated your openness to spontaneity, loving the twinkle in your eye as you sang with him just a minute ago. You were a breath of fresh air.

The next day, Kyle offered to walk you home after dinner again. You let him, even had his hand brush against yours a few times. The next, since he finished his classes early, he asked if he could pick you up in front of your college.

He waited at the bus stop, head on a swivel, worried that he’d miss you among the sea of students. But you soon approached with your friends who giggled as they eyed him.

He smiled at the refreshing sight of you, hands pulled out of his pockets. “Hiya,” he breathed, barely glancing at your friends.

You stood in front of him as you chewed on your lip, smiling but not meeting his eyes. “Hi,” you mumbled.

One of the girls nudged you with a teasing smile before walking along.

“Oh, uh, see you on Monday, babes!” you called out to them.

“Good luck for your gig!” the blonde said.

“I hope I’m up to par for tomorrow,” you said to yourself.

“You are, trust me. We don’t need Jack anymore.”

You laughed.

“Here, let me just…” he grabbed the strap of your gig bag.

“You’re the sweetest, Kyle.”

He smiled, pulling the straps over his shoulders. I’m trying! “I got you this.” He pulled out a packet of gummy bears from his pocket.

“Thank you so much!” You tore the packet open, popping a bear into your mouth, before offering him some.

At the bus stop, he sat next to you just a little closer than a friend would.

“Oh, one of my girls let me borrow Jagged Little Pill for the weekend.” You grabbed your Discman from your bag, handing an earphone to him. “I wanted to listen to it with you.”

How did you not expect him to melt at that? When each of you had an earphone on, you hit play and he wouldn’t be mad if the bus never came. With you, this was the perfect afternoon.

He should have got more gummy bears.

You and the band played through the setlist flawlessly as the party went on. It was the most fun Kyle had had at a gig that he didn’t realise the hour was up. When Owen and Tim went off to grab food, without missing a beat, he strummed More than Words.

Kyle barely took his eyes off you as you sat across him with your guitar throughout the gig, a sweet smile on your face. If he kept playing, this would never have to end, right?

Your arms paused in the air as you took your guitar off before setting the strap back and smiling in recognition. You sat back down, your foot tapping to the gentle rhythm before joining him in singing. The crowd gathered and sang together, and you both couldn’t help dueting a few more mellow songs as Owen and Tim cheered on.

By the end of the night, Kyle was holding your hand. It was nice to not be insecure of his calloused fingers. Yours were too, like a shared secret. As you neared home, his arm grew stiff. Was this his last time walking you home?

“We don’t have anything else coming up, but you’re always welcome to swing by anytime.” He handed you your guitar. He insisted to help you with it even when he had his too. “We can just jam together.”

“What’s going to happen to Jack?”

“Like I said, we don’t need him anymore.”

You laughed. “Yeah? I should probably study for my A-Levels too.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “We can always meet at your college if you want. Or somewhere else. Wherever you want really.” I just want to keep seeing you.

You smiled. “I’d love that.”

Since then, he picked you up after classes almost every day. If not to jam at Tim’s, it was to study at your dining table. He caught the teasing looks your mum shot you that made you look away with a shy smile. He didn’t mean to, but his grades were better than ever, baffling his mates, including Jack.

Thinking of the distance that was to stretch between you was like looking up a mountain too tall to see its peak. It was irresponsible of him to ask for more as he was leaving for the army. With a heavy heart, he allowed himself to enjoy the last weeks he had with you, forced to be content with the fleeting touches and bashful gazes before they, eventually, fizzled out with time.

At the park, he played Lovefool, one of your favourites. You sat facing him, knees pulled to your chest wearing his hat he plopped down on you when you squinted at the sun earlier.

“Love me, love me, say that you love me…” He looked up from the fretboard to your pretty smile as you hummed along, hair swaying in the wind-

His strumming screeched to a stop as his heart lodged in his throat. “D- do…”

Bloody hell, Gaz, why are you stuttering like that!

You blinked. “You alright?”

“Doyouwanttobemine?”

Your smile brightened.

Oh, he was going to serenade you every chance he got, even when he was a thousand miles away from you. He hoped you didn’t mind.

@tiredmetalenthusiast @shadofireshinobi @keegansshark @two-gh0sts

@rowanyaboats @mangoguy

[mykoreanlove]

Hi gorgeous 💞

I have been binge reading your stories, loved it so much 💖

I hope it's not too much to ask but my birthday is on 14th March so I was wondering if you could write hyunjin (my bias) x f reader (me) x Bang chan (my bias wrecker) smut ff? Both of them dom and they give the reader a birthday gift (surprise me with your writing).

I would really appreciate it 🥺

Bye 👋

Hi cutie - thank you so much for reading and supporting <3 I always get the most hate when I write about Hyunjin, so it's nice to see that you're enjoying my stories.

I wish you a happy birthday, hopefully you get celebrated the way you deserve to be! :)

I'm currently sick in bed but wanted to write something spicy for you, let me know if you liked it.

All the best <3

************************************************************************

A birthday to remember

Hyunjin had frowned three years in a row as he had watched you unravel your birthday presents in an unimpressed manner.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never get it right. Sure, you were grateful about all the things he got you, but he knew you well enough to understand that you were smiling out of politeness, rather than pure and utter joy. 

Your boyfriend knew you like the back of his hands; he was more than acquainted with the way you threw your head back and tried to hide the little creases that formed next to your eyes when you were laughing wholeheartedly. He was familiar with how your eyes shined brightly or how your whole body vibrated with energy when you were deeply happy.

Unfortunately, his birthday presents had never gotten that reaction out of you.

This time however, he vowed to find the right gift for you. The perfect present that would sweep you off your feet.

That was his plan at least.

It was a late night at the company office and Hyunjin was dancing with his band mates, practicing for the upcoming tour. He messed up a lot of steps as his mind was too occupied with you. In his bag was a very expensive piece of jewelry, one that he had handcrafted himself, but he was still bothered by the thought of you not liking it. 

He took a glance at the clock on the wall - it was nearly midnight which meant it was your birthday in a couple of minutes. 

„Guys, let’s stop for tonight.“

Chan shut off the music and replied to some mails on his laptop while the others got up and left.

„Oh hey, y/n.“, Felix greeted cheerily on his way out.

Hyunjin shot up panicked, looking at you frantically.

„Babe, what are you doing here?“ 

You entered the practice room and shut the door behind you, laughing shyly. 

„Always happy to see you, too, my lovely boyfriend.“ 

You stuck out your tongue and walked towards him, hugging him tightly.

„Babe, I’m all sweaty. And besides, didn’t we agree to spend your birthday starting tomorrow morning? I had it all planned out…“, he whined.

You chuckled as you kissed his adorable pout, reassuring him.

„I couldn’t stand away from you, Jinnie. Are you mad?“

„Of course not, baby.“, he mumbled while kissing you. 

Your make-out session got interrupted by Chan who was clearing his throat.

„Y/N, hi. Always great to see you. Listen, Hyunjin promised to help me out with my workout since Changbin had already left. Can I borrow him for a second?“

You shrugged your shoulders and took a seat on the couch.

„Be my guest, Chan.“ 

Chan got on his back and started working on his abs while Hyunjin was monitoring his movements.

You were so entranced by watching them, Chan in particular. You always had a soft spot for him - sometimes even fantasizing about being fucked by him. You were in love with Hyunjin, oh you absolutely were, but sometimes you couldn’t help but lust after Chan’s broad shoulders and fantasize about licking his abs.

Sweat was building on his temples as he was working hard. 

Suddenly, you felt hot, licking your lips, and imagining what it would be like to be trapped underneath him with his sweat dropping on to you. Your gaze switched to your boyfriend who was holding him in place firmly and suddenly you imagined being trapped between both of them, held in place by one while the other was fucking you into oblivion.

You squeezed your legs, totally unaware of the fact that Hyunjin was watching you through the mirror.

He on the other hand smirked smugly, suddenly realizing what would make the perfect birthday present for you.

„Hyung, can you do the rest by yourself? There’s something I have to do.“, Hyunjin whispered. 

„Eh? Oh sure, go ahead.“ 

Hyunjin got up and walked over to you, grabbing you by your wrist and ushering you out of the room. 

„Where are we going?“

„Shut up and follow me.“, he hissed at you.

The heat in your body started to rise, spreading through every cell of your being.

Hyunjin was the most romantic and caring man you had ever dated unless it came to sex - he was an absolute asshole when it came to sex.

And you loved it. 

He was degrading, he was mean, he was everything that would make you cry under normal circumstances but being treated like that while he had his dick shoved into you?

Priceless.

He pushed you into the shower room, closing the door behind him. You stood still and waited for his command, automatically falling into the role of the submissive one.

He walked over to the other side of the room and leaned against the cold sink while watching you. 

„Take it all off.“, he said sternly. 

You started undressing, silently slipping out of the flower dress you were wearing. You stood before him in nothing but red lingerie. 

„I said take it all off.“, he hissed annoyed. 

Your fingers went behind your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it in the next corner while looking at him obediently. 

Hyunjin watched you with eyes that were filled with darkness and desire, while you were slipping your fingers into your lacy panties, sliding them off. 

He uncrossed his arms and propped himself on the sink, taking you all in. Even though it was your birthday he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. 

„Come here.“, he commanded. 

You made your way over to him, excited about what was to come. 

„Get on your knees.“

You did as he said and kneeled before him, suddenly painfully aware of the cold surroundings. Instinctively, you fumbled with his pants, but he slapped away your hand.

„Did I say you could?“

You shook your head in shame. Hyunjin grabbed your chin forcefully and tilted your head, looking into your eyes strongly.

„Listen, brat. Did I say you could?“ 

„No...No…“, you stuttered.

„No what?“

„No, Mr. Hwang.“, you replied hastily. 

Hyunjin let go of you, slightly content as he watched you cowering in front of him.

„Now, tell me what you want.“

„I want you.“, you whispered silently.

Hyunjin walked behind you and tied your silky hair into a ponytail while repeating his question.

„Couldn’t hear you.“, he whispered into your ear.

„I want you.“, you said proudly.

He yanked your hair back, pulling at your ponytail.

„I want you what?“

„I want you, Mr. Hwang. I want you, Mr. Hwang, sir.“, you explained hastily. 

He let go of you as he cooed into your ear.

„Good girl.“

He had not even started yet, and you felt yourself leaking already. 

Hyunjin went back to the sink and positioned himself in front of you. He pulled down his pants, giving away his enormous erection. 

You gasped at the sight - he still had the same effect on you. 

„Tell me what you want to do to me. Now.“, he commanded sternly. 

You gulped, trying to hold yourself back.

„Touch you. Kiss your cock. Lick it. Suck on it. Make you cum. On me. In me. Swallow it all. I really want to, Mr. Hwang.“

You looked up at him shyly, waiting for his sign to proceed. However, you didn’t notice his green light as you were admiring his ethereal beauty. God, he was beyond beautiful. Your hands wandered to his shaft greedily, tracing along the veins of his cock. Silver pre-cum was glistening on his tip, getting all your attention. You felt his hand slap your cheek as you were about to suck him off. 

You shot back, touching the reddened, tingling area. 

„Did I say you could?“

You shook your head hastily. 

„No. No, you didn’t. I am sorry, Mr. Hwang.“

He smirked devilishly.

„Oh, you will be, baby. You will be.“

You approached him again, placing your hands flat on his thighs.

„May I suck you off, Mr. Hwang?“

You could have sworn his dick got harder hearing you talk like that. His eyes were piercing through you by now.

„You really want to, huh?“

„Yes, Mr. Hwang. Please let me be good for you.“, you begged silently.

„Fine. Be a good girl then.“

Your eyes sparkled at his approval while your lips got to work immediately.

You moaned the sweetest moans while you swallowed him all, he was as tasty as he was gorgeous. Hyunjin knew that he could use you as he pleased, so he did just that.

„Let me fuck your throat, baby.“

He pushed himself into you, harder and faster, which made you whimper and nearly choke on his dick. You were looking at him with tears in your eyes, loving every second of it.

He was breathing heavily while fucking your mouth, the vein on his forehead already popping out. 

„That’s right, baby. Take me like the dirty slut you are. Take all of me.“

It didn’t take long for you to feel the warmth in your throat, tasting his savory cum on your tongue. 

You closed your eyes in enjoyment. You felt your best when he used you like that; when you were of service like that.

Hyunjin patted your head, loving you with all his heart exactly for all that you were.

Naughty and nice.

However, he wasn’t done just yet.

Chan was about to enter the shower room any minute, his workout had to be done by now. And once he entered? He would be greeted with the most perfect ass kneeling on the floor, sucking on his friend’s dick. Who could resist that?

Hyunjin smiled to himself, being utterly proud of his genius plan which would make him boyfriend of the century.

You opened your eyes again as you noticed the door behind you open. Panic flooded your system; you were kneeling butt-naked on the floor with Hyunjin’s dick in your mouth. Would you get in trouble?

“Didn’t expect to see that”, you heard Chan proclaim as he entered the shower room.

You looked up at Hyunjin with panic in your eyes, but he remained calm about it. Smug even. You tried to make sense of the situation, but he reassured you that everything was okay.

“Just enjoy it, baby”, he winked at you.

“Get up”, you heard Chan command.

You glanced one last time at Hyunjin who nodded his head, transferring control over to his hyung.

Shakily, you got on your feet and waited.

“Now turn around.”

Chan’s breath got stuck in his throat as he saw you in your rawest form. He had always thought that you were absolutely beautiful, breath-taking even but every time a thought like that entered his mind, he shut it out. He would never cross boundaries like that but on rare occasions he jerked off to the sound of you being fucked by his friend in the next room.

Chan knew that you thought about him in that way, too, as he had often caught you glaring at him while he was changing clothes or working out. He would have never assumed though that Hyunjin would share you; at least not like that.

“I heard it’s your birthday, y/n?”

You shook your head eagerly.

Chan approached you and whispered into your ear seductively.

“Tell me, baby girl, what do you want then?”

Your head was about to explode – was this really happening? His long fingers traced the soft skin on your collarbones, making his way down to your breasts. Chan circled around your nipples softly but squeezed them forcefully after as you had not replied quickly enough.

“I said what do you want, baby girl?”

“Fuck me.”, you whispered silently.

“Hmm? A bit louder, baby girl.”

“Fuck me!, you boldly proclaimed.

A warm chuckle escaped his lips, making his chest tremble in amusement. He was circling around you, eyeing you like prey.

“I see. Well, how do you want me to pleasure you then?”

He stopped right in front of you and lowered himself to get a good look at your face. Chan was observing every reaction as he asked his next questions.

“Do you want me to eat you out? Do you want me to hit it from the back? Do you want to sit on my face? Do you want to be fucked against the wall? Should I turn on the shower and make you really wet? How do you want it, baby girl?”

Hyunjin was watching with his back to the wall, holding his breath due to the immense suspense. Would you really do this?

You tilted your head up and looked into his eyes daringly.

“I want you to fuck me while I’m bent against the sink…”, you paused for a second. “While Hyunjin is watching us.”

A small gasp escaped his lips; you really wanted this.

Chan smirked and turned to Hyunjin. “Is he okay with this, though?”

You turned around slowly and looked at him beggingly.

“Is this alright, Mr. Hwang?”

God, he would let you do anything if you called him that. Hyunjin nodded, not saying a word.

Chan clapped his hands eagerly. “Let’s go then.”

He walked you over to the sink and stood behind you, admiring your backside once more.

“Mr. Hwang is a very lucky man, baby girl.”

Chan started kissing your neck and went down further, leaving wet kisses all over your body. He started out softly but got more aggressive as he continued, leaving all of you in dark marks.

Neck, shoulders, lower back, ass cheeks, thighs and even shins were marked as his.

You whimpered as his lips touched you – the slow anticipation was killing you.

“What’s that whimper, baby girl? Are you that needy?”

You nodded your head and prepped yourself on the sink; you needed him now.

With a swift motion he glided into you, making you gasp for air. Chan was big, stretching you out in ways you had never been stretched out before.

He thrusted himself into you forcefully and you couldn’t help but moan. Sounds of his hips hitting against your ass filled the room as well. The mirror above the sink was fogged, just as your mind was.

It was all too much.

The hotness in your core. The coldness of the sink. Hyunjin’s curious eyes that were watching. All your fantasies were coming true, and you had no idea how to process this.

Chan didn’t go easy on you.

The first orgasm hit you like a truck; it left you a whimpering mess.

The second orgasm shook you to your core; by now every person in the building must have heard you being deliciously fucked.

The third orgasm however took you out for good; your legs gave in, shaking uncontrollably now.

Chan held you strongly in his embrace, praising you for taking him so well.

His slender fingers collected his cum that was dripping out of you, running down your thighs. He looked at his fingers greedily and turned to Hyunjin, staring at him daringly as he was sucking his fingers. Your boyfriend was too shocked to speak though, simply watching his friend eliminating the evidence of his girl being fucked by another.

Chan turned around and kissed your neck, praising you all the way.

“What a good girl you are, y/n. I’m proud of you, baby girl. You’ll be thinking of this birthday forever, huh?”

You were too exhausted to think, less even speak and drifted off to sleep.

When you awoke you found yourself on the floor of the shower room, lovingly embraced in your boyfriend’s arms. He was gazing at you affectionately, wiping away the sweat on your forehead.

“Hi, baby”, he whispered as you finally woke up.

It took you a moment to realize that the memories of the past hour were indeed real and not some fantasies that you had made up.

“Jinnie, what was that?”, you smiled warmly.

He chuckled amused.

“Your birthday present, baby. Did you finally like it?”

[redsrooftopprincess]

PST.

You. Hey You.

*tugs on your sleeve like an excited child*

I haz an idea, but only if you want to or like to. Absolutely no pressure, I just want an excuse to talk to a cool tumblr person.

Buuuuuuut I was thinking, you know as one does, about hair of all things. Because I’m a very vain creature like that. Like due to working in a warehouse with 10 hours shifts, I usually keep my hair up in a bun or ponytail to keep it out of my face. Then when I get home, I still have work to do so I put it up in a twist or clip or something. So the first time in a long time, I clocked how long my hair is with it actually down and now it’s like half way down my back!

And I was thinking, how do you think our favorite Bruiser Boi would respond to something like that. Being used to his friend/SO ALWAYS having their hair up to suddenly have it all down for whatever reason? But anyhoo, just a thunk. Also again, I know this sounds cheesy, but I was thinking about you today and I was like “Man. What a cool person. I hope they just have the best Friday ever.”

So here’s to hoping you have the best Friday ever🫂🧡

Hidden Talent

Raphael x Reader

No Warnings, Vanilla Spice🌶️

You met in May, just at the beginning of summer, when the streets were not quite hazy with heat, but hot enough that, between the sweat and the frizz, your thigh length mane had to be contained.

Now halfway through July, you were honestly considering cutting it off. It's becoming more than just a little annoying.

It takes you over an hour every morning to quick and dirty brush - bun - pin, and between the weight of your hair pulling your skin so tight you're shocked you can close your eyes, and the bobby pins stabbing you in the head, you are pretty much over it.

It's been up all day and you've FINALLY made it home. The massive headache pounding in your temples like a god damn marching band has been growing steadily worse since you got on the subway *this morning*, and now it's basically unbearable.

You head straight for your room, tossing a quick wave to April and the boys as they drink coffee in the kitchen before heading out on patrol.

Tossing your bag on the bed, you glare at it when it rolls off the other side and you hear the scattering of small objects. Fuck it. You'd pick it up later. Or tomorrow. Or never.

He hears the sound, and the following exhausted sigh, and slips out of the kitchen as covertly as a giant reptile strapped to the nines can "slip," making his way down the hall. It seems like you had a tough day. If he can at least make you smile before heading out for "garbage duty," he'll already start off having a good night.

He reaches your open doorway and turns, lifting his hand to knock, but pauses once you come into view.

You're back is to the door and you're pulling the last of the bobby pins out of your hair. The bun begins to unravel and you grasp the elastic to rip it out and it straight up breaks.

You don't care. It feels too good to be free, and your eyes fall closed with a sigh.

It tumbles down your back and Raphael's eyes widen. He knew your hair was long, but this takes him completely by surprise. Silk flashes in the lamplight as your hair catches its shine and it cascades down your body to just about mid thigh. He breathes in your scent as it blooms outward. He'd only caught it in glimpses before, almost as tightly contained as your hair, but with your hair now loose you are everywhere and his head is swimming.

As you run your hands through the hair at your scalp to loosen it for the first time in hours, you can't help the almost- moan of relief that escapes you.

Between your beauty and your scent, that sound is nearly his undoing, and he swallows hard.

You sigh as the headache and tension start to dissipate and rub your temples as you open your eyes. You catch his reflection in the small mirror on your desk. He's looking at you with something like awe. He doesnt notice you notice.

You're beautiful. He knows this. It's an objective fact. But beyond that you're funny and smart and so much fun to hang out with. You only met a couple of months ago, but you've starting spending more time together, even on his nights off, and he's not, totally not, even remotely possibly falling for you. Not even a little. Nope.

But holy shit are you beautiful.

"Oh, hey Red," you say, turning around with a smile.

He nearly jumps out of his shell at the sudden attention, and his cheeks darken when he realizes you must have caught him staring.

He perks up, trying to brush it off, "Uh, yeah, hey. You, um..." he clears his throat, "kinda sounded like you had a rough day. Anything I can do?"

You smile softly at him, tucking your hair behind your ear. He follows your hand and tries not to breathe. "Thanks. No. I'll be fine," you chuckle, a gentle pink coloring your cheeks, "just being dramatic."

You sit on the bed beside you, snatching your hair brush off the desk. "You boys heading out soon?" You ask.

"Uh, yeah," he confirms, as you start brushing your hair, "bout ten minutes or so, I guess." The brush is scattering your scent into the air, filling the room with you, and his mouth waters. He clears his throat. "So, uh, something happen today?" He asks, leaning against the door and attempting to appear casual. He feels drunk.

You shrug. "Just the usual. People being people. The ever present headache doesn't help," you say, glaring at the broken elastic on the floor.

"Your hair?" He asks.

You nod, "It'll be too hot to wear my hair comfortably until probably mid-september, and I've about lost my patience with this. I didn't expect summer in New York to be this unbearable." You sigh heavily, working on a particularly stubborn knot, "I don't know, I'm thinking of just chopping it off."

"Don't," He says , so quickly and emphatically that it surprises even him, and he blushes and looks away when your eyes shoot up to look at him. He clears his throat, eyes returning to yours, "what I mean is... you don't have to," he takes a step forward and hesitates, is he really gonna do this...?

...fuck it.

He walks the rest of the way to the bed and gestures to your hair, "Um, may I?" He says, trying not to show how terrified he is right now. What if she thinks it's weird. That *he's* weird. This was a bad idea.

"Sure," you say with a smile, stopping the spiral in it's tracks. You hand him your hairbrush, and turn so that your back is to him. You feel the mattress dip as he sits beside you.

His fingers brush the back of your neck as he lifts your hair, sending a shiver down your spine, and your eyes fall closed as he begins pulling the brush through it. A soft sigh escapes you when he scrapes the brush gently against your scalp.

This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. Worst idea he's ever had. Now he was the one brushing your scent all over him, and the realization that he would be smelling you all night, along with your barely audible sounds of contentment, are affecting him in ways that are not allowed.

He takes a deep breath, swallowing your scent, drinking you like a man on his last dime, gluttonous and pathetic, as he accepts that he will gladly, desperately, keep coming back to this fountain, even though he knows it's killing him. This was a terrible, awful, amazingly wonderful idea. He should really make stupid decisions more often.

Meanwhile, you're trying not to chew a hole through your lip, because every gentle tug, every scrape of the brush, sends ripples through your body that you can feel in your fingertips. It's been a while, okay? To say your love life is non existent would be being kind. You're going over your terribly obnoxious day in your head beat for beat in desperation, trying to think of anything they might draw your attention away from what he's doing because fuck...

It isn't just the sensations. It's him.

It'd be a lie to say you haven't thought about it. Beyond him being so much fun to be around, he was absolutely stunning. He physically and metaphorically should not exist and you mean that in the best way possible. There were a lot of late nights where you found yourself imagining his scales against your bare skin, his deep voice rumbling like thunder in your ear...

He holds your hair gently at the scalp while he works out a particularly stubborn knot, so it doesn't pinch, and as he succeeds, your hair tugs gently as his fingers run through it.

Your scent changes, he thinks, but it's difficult to tell when his face is nigh buried in your hair, and your amber conditioner mixed with your own unique perfume are making his mouth water. He's wrong . He has to be. You couldn't possibly be...

He reaches over to the desk to retrieve an elastic and a few bobby pins and catches your reflection in the mirror. Cheeks pink, eyes closed, lips parted, he had to make a conscious effort not to tighten his hands in your hair. Don't react. It doesn't mean anything. He spots a hair pin on the desk, and grabs that, too.

He returns to his task, twisting and securing your hair in a low bun, just above your hair line. He can see the flush of your shoulders as he lifts your hair and attempts to control his breathing. As he places the last pin, he can't resist running the back of his finger down the back of your neck. He doesn't miss you shiver.

"There," he says, possibly a bit more huskily than he intends to, "how's that feel?"

Miraculously, the weight was still there, but he had twisted it in such a way that it was secure without pulling or pinching. When you turn to the mirror, the lamplight catches the hairpin, the warm glare making it flash like fire. You smile softly, almost in disbelief, and touch your hair gently. You turn to him, speechless.

His blush deepens, "I, uh... I'm pretty good with textiles. Hair ain't that different." His mouth turns up in a nervous smile when your smile of disbelief becomes a grin.

"Well you are just full of surprises, aren't you?" You say, almost breathless.

He blushes, chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck, looking away, "I guess..."

"Hey," Leo's head pops in the doorway, "we're heading out, you ready?"

Raph looks at you, and then Leo, and then back at you before clearing his throat and standing up, "uh, Yeah. Yeah, good to go." He shoots you an almost regretful smile.

"I guess that means you'll have to come over tomorrow and teach me how you did it," you say, grinning at him, "Can I say thank you with dinner?"

"Deal," he says, unable to help the grin that lights up his face, "I'll see you tomorrow." You don't miss the look Leo gives the both of you as he makes his way out the door. With one last glance at you, pink still staining your cheeks, Raphael leaves for the night.

You sit on the bed and touch the back of your neck, feeling the ghost of his hands in your hair. Maybe you wouldn't cut it, after all.

......

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo

[elliesmainhoe]

PROFESSOR

Professor!Ellie X CollegeStudent!Reader

Summary: After Dina forced you to go to her new physics teachers public lecture, you start developing feelings for the professor.

Contents: LEGAL age gap (21 year old reader and 29 year old Ellie), fem!reader, reader is a blunt person and says what she thinks, pining, anxiety, panic attack, confessions, kisses.

Part 1 (you're here) - Part 2 - Part 3

Requested by @lonelyfooryouonly 🧡

My Masterlist

Dina had told you about her physics teacher. She complained constantly about the old man, who droned on and on about the same shit for hours on end, providing no new information of any substance to his students.

That's why on a random Friday afternoon, Dina rushed into the busy café you frequent and taking a be-line for your usual table.

"oh my god. Y/n." Dina practically yelled making several people turn around from there conversations glaring at the brunette. "This is the best day of my life~" she squealed ecstatically.

"Jesus Christ Dina, a little warning next time please?" As your heart pounded at the sudden appearance of the girl. "You spooked me" you laughed. "So what's up"

"Mr.Robinson retired!!!" She screeched, sitting down on the chair opposite you, laughing at your unamused expression.

"Fucking finally, I was so done of you complaining about that asshole" you muttered between sips of coffee.

" and our new physics teacher is having a weekly lecture starting this Saturday. And I was wondering if you would go tomorrow with me?" She continued deciding to ignore your comment.

"Why don't you go with Jesse? One, he's your boyfriend. Two, he takes physics as well."

"Can't I want to spend time with my best friend?"

"cmon, Dina, what's the deal?" You sigh helplessly.

"ugh fine" she moaned "I heard through the grape vine that the new professor is a woman, hot and a lesbian. And since I know you and your innocent, virgin ways, I was thinking you could... y'know?"

"Let me get this straight" you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the irony of the saying "you want to set me up with a rumoured lesbian, who's probably going to be double if not triple my age?" "Yes, yes I am" Dina smiled sweetly, laughing at the expression on your face.

"no I'm not going."

•••••••••• Saturday, 11th March.

You stood Infront of the closed door that lead into the lecture hall. In usual Dina fashion, she was late, and you were early. You had looked through the small glass pane and peered around the room, a few people were scattered around in the rows of seats. The new professor didn't seem to be in there yet .

If you were completely honest you didn't know why you were here and how your definitive no turned into a reluctant yes.

A flurry of brunette hair rushed towards you, "I'm so sorry, y/n, I got caught up" she panted, out of breath from running from across campus. "Yeah, I noticed." You said bluntly, your eyes following Dina's clumsy form as she swung open the lecture hall door.

She ushered you into the last row of seats, shushing you when you went to complain.

"Shhh, just get out your laptop and pretend your working." "Or I can actually work? I have an essay due on Monday." "Yes, whatever, do that then."

You got out your laptop, clad in stickers, including a few rainbow and lesbian flags, frogs, books, plants and band logos plastered all over it.

You opened up the word document named Analysing the use of language in 'a midsummer night's dream by William Shakespeare'. it currently stands at 2500 words, 500 words away from your goal. Before your hands fell into rhythm across the keyboard. The creak of the door sounded out around the room.

Instinctively you looked over at the door. A very attractive woman began walking down to the front, her hair was short and in a light shade of brown, her skin was sun kissed, freckles dotted along her facial features like constellations. There was a pair of glasses resting on her head, smoothing down some loose strands that fell free from her ponytail. She wore dress pants, and a knitted black and white striped sweater, with simple black doc martens boots.

As soon as she reached the front of the room, her voice sounded out, echoing around the room "Good Afternoon everyone, thank you for taking time out of your weekend to willingly chose to come to a physics lecture. This is the first public lecture I will be holding this semester, and depending on how it goes and how many people attend, I will continue it next semester also."

"Right let me answer some questions I know what your probably thinking. Yes, I know I'm young for a professor, and I'm 29 years old before you start speculating" she spoke with a lighthearted playful tone of voice, captivating you even more.

"My full name is Dr. Ellie Williams, but please just call me Ellie, Miss Williams makes me feel ancient. I have just achieved my PHD, but I've been doing guest lectures for a few years so I'm decently experienced."

She took a few questions, but you weren't paying attention to her words, she was beautiful. The way the sun filtered through the blinds and shadowing patterns in the golden sun that fell upon her freckled skin. Her voice was smooth and deep, soft and alluring, holy fuck Dina was right. She was hot, but was she a lesbian..?

A smothered giggle distracted you from your silent onlooking, you turned towards Dina, and rolled your eyes at the girl whose hand covered her mouth trying to stifle the laugh that involuntarily out of her lips.

"Shut up"

"you love me y/n~" she cooed sarcastically.

"unfortunately" you said under your breath, loud enough for Dina to hear, as a false expression of astonishment and offence fell on her face, making a laugh slip through your lips, much to your dismay.

•••••••••• Saturday, 18th March.

You and Dina walked towards the lecture hall, with a straggler in tow. "Does Jesse really have to come with us?" You whine in Dina's ear pathetically "I don't want to see you guys oogling at each other for two hours" you complain.

"Y'know, you could always sit a bit closer to the front, get a better view of Miss Williams." Jesse joked. "She said that she didn't like being called 'Miss Williams'.' Jesse scoffed "yeah of course you know that"

Deciding to ignore the comment, and walk ahead of the dawdling couple. You lived with them already and you didn't need to see them sending heart eyes to eachother any more than you had to. You finally reached the doors to the familiar lecture hall.

Stopping for Jesse and Dina to catch up to you before you rush into the room, nerves turning to excitement as you scurry into the room. Dina and Jesse filed into the back row again, holding hands and slipping in and out of lovey dovey giggles. No thank you.

Deciding to move closer and shuffling into a seat in the corner of the second row to the front. You brought out your sticker smothered laptop again and worked on a new assignment your English professor had assigned.

"Good Morning Everyone" Ellie chirped as she entered the hall, walking down the steps towards her desk. She wore a white muscle tee, a button-up over the top, left slightly open, she wore simply black pants and the same docmartens.

"Right. Okay... Let's get started everyone" compared to the week before, the amount of people who decided to attend the lecture had almost doubled. Ellie began talking, cracking jokes between facts and equations.

You continued to be mesmerized by her swift movements as she explained certain topics that came up on her pre planned PowerPoints. You didn't like physics, your mind simply couldn't wrap around the complex hypotheticals and various equations. But God did you find Ellie attractive. You didn't mind watching the woman's focused face and commanding voice, talk and explain problems and theories.

Shit.

••••••••••• Wednesday, 22 March

This is the worst day you've ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

First, you woke up on your period, after dosing yourself up on paracetamol and shoving a few tampons in your bag before leaving your's, Dina's and Jesse's, shared apartment.

Second, after ordering your usual latte from the coffee shop you regular, just off campus. The takeaway coffee cups, lid hadn't been put on properly and oops, your new pastel blue dress was now had a large coffee stain right down it.

Third, on your way to your first lecture of the day, it started raining, drenching your hair and soaking the newly spilt coffee into your dress further.

You felt the build up of emotions bubble in your stomach, the overstimulation making everything so so much worse. Quickly, to try and escape the pouring rain, you took shelter in an on-campus book shop. You hid in the corner of the room sitting on a lone couch, as you let the tears fall freely down your face.

Lips wobbling as you tried your hardest to keep the sobs at bay. Fuck. You hated your period. You hated stupid rain. You hated lukewarm coffee. You hated early morning lectures. You hate-

"Hey." A soft voice met your ears, "are you alright?".

You didn't look up, trying your hardest to calm yourself down and not humiliating yourself anymore than you already had.

"yes. M'fine." You muttered.

"It was more of rhetorical question... Can I sit down?..."

"Sure" you whispered, keeping your voice low so it didn't crack.

"You come to my public lectures, don't you?"

What.

The.

Fuck.

No no no no no no no no no no no no.

This can't happen, there is no fucking way that your stupid, stupid, crush is now talking to you while you have a mental breakdown.

Ellie was extremely worried, looking at your hunched over form, now gone rigid at her question. You were pretty, and Ellie's eyes couldn't resist drifting towards you, in your pretty dresses and knitted sweaters.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She whispered, when you didn't reply. "I'll leave you be"

"no."

Your hoarse voice replied before she could leave. "Oh okay... Bad day then?"

"you have no idea" you sniffed looking up at Ellie for the first time, through your wet eyelashes. She looked at the fresh coffee stain on your dress "I have a small idea" she laughed lightly.

She began to shed her coat, handing towards you. "Here take it... Should keep you warm until you dry off, and it'll cover the stain." She smiles at you.

You sit up straighter, wrapping the coat around your shoulders "thanks" you sniffed again, before wiping your nose on the sleeve of you jumper. "What's your name?" Ellie asks, looking at your tear stained face.

"Y/N..." You mumbled, her gaze hot on your face and you sink into yourself.

"That's a pretty name... What do you study?" You knew what she was trying to do, ask you questions to distract you from your tears, and it worked.

"I study English language"

"well, what are you reading right now?"

Shit shit shit. Right be discreet, tell her your gay discreetly. Jack Fucking Pot!!!!!

"Last night at the telegraph club..."

"oh cool... I'm uh- I'm uh reading 'one last stop" she replied a smile slipping into her face.'

"Nice." You say, an awkward grin gracing your features. "Uhm, it was really nice talking to you, I should give you your coat bac-"

"No. Keep it... You can give it back on Saturday."

"yes, yes...I'll- I'll do that." You get up reluctantly, but you did have a place to be... "Bye Ellie" "See you soon, Y/N."

••••••••• Saturday, 25th March

You were absolutely terrified. More terrified than you ever had been in your whole life. You wore a rainbow shirt, denim skirt and basic black converse, with Ellie's brown coat tucked under your arm as you walked on your own to the lecture hall.

Dina and Jesse were out on a date, leaving you to fend for yourself today. You were debating whether or not to actually go or to chicken out. But ultimately, you decided that you would feel too guilty if you didn't give it back on time as you promised.

So you tried to carry on like normal, entering the lecture hall five minutes early, slotting into the corner of the second row, taking out your personalized laptop and opening up the current assignment you had been working on.

A few minutes later a creak of a door followed by a 'Good Morning everyone.' as the older woman walked towards her desk briskly. She immediately began talking, taking questions and answering as best she could. It was incredible, how she talked with so much passion and understanding for her subject, the way she smiled when a student showed a similar amount of intrigue and fascination that she did.

Ellie was a great teacher. She was so lovely, talking to her students like they were humans, showing and explaining theories in different ways so there was more opportunities for those watching to understand. The way she acted, her kindness, her laugh, her humour, it made the uneasy feeling in your stomach increase every second.

Before you knew it, the two hours had been and went and people began to file out, talking and laughing with eachother. You stayed seated waiting until less people were around before you got up and scurried towards her desk.

"Here." You blurted out, handing the brunette her leather brown coat. "Thank you Y/N." She hummed in reply.

"uh no problem, I wasn't going to steal your jacket, that would be rude" you said, immediately thinking to yourself 'no fucking shit, that was an idiotic thing to say'

"so y/n. Why did you decide to come to my lecture? Physics is a big leap from English"

"my friend Dina takes your subject, she wanted to drag me along to kinda see what you were like before her first official class with you."

'A+ lie right there' you thought to yourself proudly. I mean you couldn't exactly say 'my friend has wanted me to hook up with someone for months now and she heard you were attractive and liked girls'.

"Dina... So I'm assuming it's you're last year in university then?",

"uh yeah. Two semesters left..." God. this was so awkward. Fuck your lack of ability to understand social cues.

You looked at Ellie's face, studying it and seeing a hesitant expression written on her face. "I was, uh, wondering how you were doing?... I mean I couldn't stop thinking about the other day and I just, wanted to make sure you were alright..."

"Oh... That's actually really nice of you. Uhm I'm doing okay, I got just very overwhelmed. It happens a lot but I mask I usually mask it better. I don't really know what came over me"

"no no no. I totally get it, I just y'know worry..." She gave a shy smile, her face slightly flushed, not really knowing what else to say.

"just know I'm always here to talk. I can give you my number? if you ever wanted to call me up and talk about things." "Yeah, yeah I'd really like that actually"

Ellie turned back to her desk, grabbing a pad of sticky notes, writing a string of numbers and doing a small doodle in the corner before giving it to you. "thanks, Ellie" you hummed, turning around quickly and scurrying out of the room, note in hand.

•••••••••• Sunday, 2nd April

You didn't call Ellie. You didn't text Ellie. You didn't even show up to her last lecture, despite Dina's pleading.

Confused. That's what you were, so fucking confused. You really, really liked Ellie. You'd only seen her a few times. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, hot and caring. But she was a professor, not your professor but still, she worked for the college you attended. And you were a student.

What in the forbidden romance trope is this? This isn't a romcon or a novel. If you started flirting with Ellie, or Ellie started flirting with you, she could get fired. Her whole livelihood down the drain just like that. Yes, it was legal. But, if it got out, people would view it suspiciously and rumours would start going around.

But you were overthinking. What if Ellie didn't even like you at all? Just gave you her number out of courtesy, feeling sorry for you after witnessing you cry.

Feelings are so useless. This is why you didn't do this type of stuff, you didn't date, didn't hook up with anyone, because it was easy, no emotional conflict, no feelings getting hurt. And now, you had been thrown into the deep end. Crushing on someone seemingly unattainable. Thanks Dina.

"y'know, if you stop sulking in bed and actually texted her, you'd feel a lot better." Speak of the devil.

"no it won't, it'll make me feel worse," you replied voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face into.

"how would you know? You've never done this before. I, however, am a certified veteran at talking phases, and trust me y/n. I'm right"

"no"

"You text her right now. Or else you have to come with me to my physics lesson with me on Monday and you have to talk to her after."

••••••••••• Monday, 3rd April

Its 9am on a Monday morning and let's just say you are cursing the world... and Dina.

"Just remember y/n the longer you wait, the harder it'll be. Let's just get it out the way, yeah?" She chirped, linking arms with you, a reassuring smile on her face. "No..." You whined in reply as Dina ushered you out of the apartment.

"c'mon."

The walk was excruciating. Your mind was in another world as Dina joked and laughed with you, trying to take your mind off the looming anxiety that began to bubble in your chest. After fifteen minutes of walking on auto pilot, and almost walking into various obstacles (poles, trash cans, lamp posts etc), you finally arrived at the all too familiar lecture hall.

"Ready?"

"no"

"let's go".

Dina shuffled into the background, gesturing you to sit next to her, so you did, hands clasped together trying to swallow down the panic of your fast paced heart pounding in your chest.

"Hey, calm down..." You heard Dina whisper into your ear, as she grabbed your hand squeezing it, trying to comfort you. Breathing in deeply, you pulled out the book you were currently reading, trying to distract yourself.

"Good Morning everyone!" The familiar smooth voice of the woman you had been having a crisis over for weeks sounded out throughout the room as she entered. You're heart skipped a beat, your breath caught in your throat and became irregular.

"Shit. Dina, I-I don't think I can do this." You stammered, feeling tears well in your eyes.

"Okay, okay. C'mon, let's go." She rushed, eyes showing a guilty expression, as she closed her laptop, shoving into her bag and entwining hads with you as she guided you to the door. "

As soon as you left the stuffy hall, it felt as if the weight of the world lifted off of your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry y/n. I really didn't mean to push you, I shouldn't have. Gosh I'm so sorry." She rushed out.

"no, no don't apologize you were only trying to help. " You sighed as you took a seat on the floor outside the lecture hall.

"I need to go to the restroom. Are you sure you'll be okay for a sec?, we can leave once I get back"

"yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'll manage"

You closed your eyes, as you listened to Dina's footsteps become further and further away and tried to regulate your erratic breathing.

"Hey." No , not again.

Ellie shuffled sitting next to you on the ground. "You okay?" "No."

"right, yeah, obviously..."

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way... Just don't get the point in lying, y'know?"

"I get it, it's an admirable trait." The underlying compliment caused your cheeks to flush pink, under her gaze. You became more aware of your surroundings, the feeling of elies side pushed up against yours now becoming more prominent.

Deciding to look at your shoes instead of meeting Ellie's warm gaze, you foot began to tap, jittering irritably from the nerves that still hadn't left your body.

"Don't you have a lecture to go back to?" You ask, trying to nurse the conversation back to life.

"I do, but I have different priorities currently..."

"You should go back, what priorities are more important than your job?"

You could practically feel Ellie's smile, even though you weren't even looking at her... "This..." She mumbled, her hand brushing under your chin and guiding your face to hers.

Your lips connected slowly, you could taste her strawberry Chapstick mix with the cherry one you had applied on yourself earlier. You felt her lips twisted into a smile, her hand moved from your chin, across your jawline until finally reaching the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the kiss.

A cough erupted from behind you, making you and Ellie jump apart. Turning around quickly to face the culprit-

"Dina!-" you yelled at the girl, who stood leaning against the wall, a smug grin painted on her face.

"Told you so."

----------------

Part 2

Here it is. I actually really like this one, I feel like I could've written the ending better but oh well. The ending is slightly different to what was requested, but I started writing and it just kinda happened like that. But I hope you still like it 🧡

NOT PROOFREAD

[vodika-vibes]

Oya! ner burc'ya (You are the big sister of mine in this fandom, cant call you vod'ika xD)

Congrats for the followers! If I may make a suggestion:

Obi Wan × Fem Nautolan Jedi Reader & Harvest Festival & Angst and Romance (any n/sfw works)

I Will Be There

Summary: When you and Obi-Wan arrive on the planet for your latest mission, you expect it’ll be quick and simple. You do have the famed negotiator with you after all, but when negotiations are stalled due to a planet-wide harvest festival, he decides to take advantage of the situation.

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x F! Nautolan Jedi Reader

Word Count: 975

Prompt: Harvest Festival

Warnings: Kinda angsty

A/N: Hi there! Thanks for the request! I like to joke that I'm only pretending to be a vod'ika, but I'm actually an ori'vod. Anyway, this has more angst and humor than romance, I think. But I was running out of words. And Obi-Wan gets 212 orange divider because my options were that or Howzer teal.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

Watching Obi-Wan work is always a treat.

For him, negotiations are like an art form, and watching him work is like watching a master artist craft a new masterpiece.

It almost makes you wish that your master taught you the intricacies of diplomacy. Almost. And then you remember that you love flying far too much to give it up for talking.

Still, you’re surprised that this mission is taking so long. 

Your gaze doesn’t wander away from the man you’re speaking to, though you do reach out through the force to send a questioning nudge toward Obi-Wan.

You get the sensation of disgruntlement from him.

Problems? You send, even as you cover your mouth to hide your smile at a joke the soldier told you. He’s flirting with you. Poorly, but still flirting all the same. Poor man actually thinks he stands a chance.

To put it mildly. Obi-Wan’s mental voice is silent for a moment, and then you get a feeling of warm amusement from him, having fun?

I can’t tell if he thinks he actually thinks he has a chance, or if he’s just flirting to flirt. You reply lightly.

Obi-Wan doesn’t reply, and you’re confused for a moment before you feel his hand press lightly on your shoulder, “Are you ready to head back to the hotel?”

“I’m ready if you are,” You reply with a single nod, and then you offer a shallow bow towards the guard, “Thank you for the information.” He bows back, and then turns and marches away, and you allow yourself to fall into step with Obi-Wan.

He’s frowning slightly, that doesn’t bode well.

Still, you’re skilled enough to know better than to say anything while you’re still in the Parliament building, though the moment you step outside, you turn to look at him, “You said that there are problems?”

He nods, “Yes. The negotiations have stalled.”

You blink at him, “They haven’t even started yet.” You take a moment to pull the leather band keeping your head tentacles bound behind you off, and you shove the cloth into your pocket, “How can they have already stalled?”

“Because of the harvest festival.” Obi-Wan replies, “It starts tomorrow, and it lasts for the majority of the week. Apparently, it’s illegal for government offices to work during the harvest festival.”

“Then why did they call us now?”

Obi-Wan shrugs, “I couldn’t begin to guess, honestly.” He absently rubs his jaw, “But since we’re already here—”

You gasp theatrically, “Don’t tell me that Golden Boy Kenobi is suggesting that we take some downtime at the harvest festival!”

He waves his hand towards you dismissively, “Don’t call me that, but yes. I am.” Obi-Wan pauses and then glances at you and there’s a look on his face that makes your face burn, “It’ll be nice to spend time with you, just the two of us.”

You’re not stupid. Or blind.

This thing between you and Obi-Wan has been there since you were both initiates. And while your masters both did their best to squash it before it became a problem, it never really worked.

“Careful Golden Boy,” You tease with a heavy heart, “You’re going to lose your sheen.”

“It’s just us here, Little Blue,” Obi-Wan counters, using his private nickname for you.

“Yeah, but we both know that’s a bell that can’t be unrung,” You turn away from him and fold your arms behind your head, “Anyway, we should get back to the hotel.”

Obi-Wan hurries to keep up with you, “You do remember that we’re sharing a room, right?”

“Ew, boy cooties.”

He elbows you, “What are you, 5?”

“Five times more mature than you are,”

He glares at you and then, with a shove, pushes you into the pond you’re walking past. “Gosh,” Obi-Wan says with an unrepentant grin, even as he offers you his hand, “You should be more careful, my old friend.”

You huff and take his hand, “When we get back to Coruscant, I’m stealing Ani and telling him about the bubbles in the fountains.”

“That was your idea.”

“I don’t recall.”

You resolutely ignore the way that your hand tingles when he takes your hand in his and pulls you back to your feet. And you ignore the way his thumb slides against the top of your hand. And you ignore the way that your hearts race when you stumble against him because you’re lighter than he assumed.

You ignore a lot of things when it comes to Obi-Wan.

You know that it’s only a matter of time before one of you slips on this tightrope the pair of you have been walking since you were children. You just hope that no one gets hurt when one of you falls.

The following morning, Obi-Wan drags you out of the hotel to explore the Harvest Festival, his hand firm in yours as he drags you from stall to stall.

And you should have known better than to assume that it was innocent.

Because when Obi-Wan tugs you into a dark alley, you don’t fight him on it.

When he shares his pastry with you, you don’t question it.

When he leans in and kisses powdered sugar off your lips, you don’t stop him. 

When your back hits the stone wall behind you, and he deepens the kiss, his hands sliding down your body to wrap securely around your waist, you wrap your arms around his neck and tangle your hands in his soft hair.

And when he whispers that he loves you, you let out a laugh that’s more of a sob as you tell him you love him too.

This story doesn’t have a happy ending. You know it. He knows it. But right here, right now the galaxy is at peace and you can pretend that a happy ending is in your story.

@imabeautifulbutterfly

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[greensolsikke]

I love reading all of your concert reports, so I'll have a try myself for Joker Out in Cologne Kantine at 24th of March.

- I had an EE ticket and arrived around 13 o'clock. There was a queue already, but not too wild (got number 59).

- the weather was quite unsteady, with lots of wind and occasional rain. Lots of umbrellas and rain covers.

- the queuing started around 17:30 o'clock, early entry was allowed in around 18:30 o'clock.

- Sound check was lovely. The boys were in a good mood. Bojan explained about what the procedures of soundcheck. And we got a Nace + Jan jamming session. They played two songs - Dopamin and Proti Toku.

- Sector 5 started as an opening band. They played really well and were energetic on stage. Some people started singing along

- JC Stewart was a total contrast to them, being alone on stage with only his acoustic guitar. His songs were really powerful and full of emotions.

- The JO performance was amazing. They were so energetic, cheerful and seemed to have a great time. Kris seemed to take it a bit slower - he might still be sick

- Looots of Jance action, smirks and heart eyes. Jan leaning his head to Nace's chest, them screaming at each other, Nace nearly kissing Jan. That was a 5 star girl (gn) dinner

- Bojan as a fairy with pink wings, taking his job really seriously. Kris wore a tiny crown with a veil, Jan a fluffy tiara

- During Metulji, they both wore butterfly head crowns and Bojan had his fairy wings back on. He cracked up seeing people do the Macarena during the song, but caught himself again.

- Jan's guitar was somehow out of tune. They stopped the song and he tried fixing it by himself. During the second try, he went rushing to Kiki to exchange guitars.

- Umazane Misli "only" had a few people singing. I remember a really well-sung German version, Russian, Dutch (?) and of course Slovene. Bojan was in the crowd with Vita, encouraging the singers. Sector 5 was in the crowd as well, and the singer

- Jan dancing Macarena during UM and taught it to Nace. Bojan parted the sea crowd and made us take turns in singing UM

- Jure was an absolute beast on the drums. It was so intense

- after the concert we waited outside for the boys to come out. Jan eventually came and took pictures. Jure was hanging out with the people from Sector 5

All in all a wonderful concert experience. Can't wait for Munich tomorrow

[angstics]

i understand why the black parade (the concept) is seen as a force of good (the name has cool imagery and “to joinnn the black parade” is a #epic moment). force of good as in synonym to emo communities, mcr fans, the general downtrodden. gerard is still called the leader of the black parade as in “king of the emos” when the actual leadringer persona constantly berated “my chemical romance” lol.

i like the black parade as a false promise. to start, the black parade is special to the patient since gerard describes the concept as people being welcomed to death by their happiest memory, which is reflected in the beginning of wttbp. the whole song is a conflict btwn “though your dead and gone believe me your memory will carry on” and “im just a man, im not a hero”. it’s an uneasy song. like all these people are telling the main character not to worry about dying because they’ll be remembered but they cant accept that because they dont think theyre worth remembering. “i dont care”—“we’ll carry on”.

mama and welcome parallel in a lot of ways, from the parental figures to the HUGE sound to the multi-part structure to the adoption of specialty music (cabaret v marching band). even “we’ll carry on” is echoed, with the addendum “when our brothers in arms are gone / so raise your glass high for tomorrow we die / and return from the ashes you call”. this is what the patient (“im just a man”) would say after hearing the black parade, echoing the sentiment with venomous anger instead of welcome’s almost sterile tone.

the idea of a false promise comes from the parade being presented as what the patient supposedly always wanted: to be unashamed, be the saviour, be REMEMBERED. as represented by their father and questioned by the patient. so for them to go to war to be remembered (“you made us oh so famous”) only to be unfulfilled by that (“we all go to hell”) shows the failures of the black parade (also represented on disenchanted: “lifelong wait for a hospital stay”). it’s a welcome that no longer fit the patient, whose childhood whims were disproven by what they learned from life.

this is why famous last words is sooo satisfying. they create their own acceptance of death. “i see you lying next to me” with the people they love, “with words i thought id never speak” with self-acceptance, “awake and unafraid, asleep or dead” and with their own fucking words. “i am not afraid to walk this world alone” they dont need to be remembered. there is no parade, there is no yearning for the past.

and while the black parade buried them as they were still screaming, famous last words leaves room for them to stay alive. agency and dignity, in life and death.