#i stand with alex and felicia wennberg

[blusical]

The sexualization of hockey players is too normalized.

(TW: Sexual harassment, stalking, victim blaming(?). Reader discretion advised) (Notes: No DNI on this post since I want this to be an open discussion, just don't be an asshole and keep it SFW). To clear any potential confusion, I wanna add some disclaimers. 1. No, this isn't about real person fiction as a whole. The concept of RPF is a more complicated subject that crosses fanfic discourse territory, and that kind of discourse is not something I want to promote on this blog for my own comfort. 2. For the record, there is nothing wrong with having a crush on a player, or finding a player hot or cute. However, trying to sexually harass them is when it becomes a problem. 3. Yes, this is about the Alex Wennberg situation. TL;DR: We as hockey fans need to be more fucking respectful of a hockey player's boundaries and privacy. Again, having a crush on them or fantasizing about them isn't a bad thing, but going to their social media and saying such things crosses the line.

I think we can all safely say that we've all had our moments where we developed a crush on a hockey player. I think we can say that we've all had our moments where we had *certain* fantasies about them too. However, I think we all need to learn that there are times where it can go too far. And that is exactly what's going on with Alex Wennberg. Who's Alex Wennberg and what's going on? Alex Wennberg is an NHL player currently playing for the Seattle Kraken. Recently, his wife has spoken out against some sexual harassment that has been occurring against him, particularly in the form of writing. (Warning: NSFW comment in one screenshot)

However, this ultimately only led to further harassment against not only Alex, but his wife as well.

This ultimately led to Felicia and Alex making further statements shown below. (I've had to take multiple screencaps of the statements since they get pretty long). Felicia's statement:

Alex's statement:

This has been a problem for a while. Unfortunately, this isn't new. You might have seen this video featuring Connor Bedard, who was seventeen at the time. Tbh, this isn't sexualization per se, but it's still very uncomfortable and still an example of how obsessive hockey fans can be. In the video, Connor Bedard is signing jerseys, and a mother and a daughter come up to him, with the daughter asking Bedard to be her valentine, with the mom demanding that Bedard says yes. Bedard does eventually budge and say yes. Though while it might be easily brushed off as a "haha fans having fun" thing, keep in mind that Bedard was only 17 at the time. I have no idea how old the daughter was, but either way.

And it's not just limited to that. It's not uncommon to see really cursed signs. Including *this* one.

There's also something about Tyler Seguin's wife stalking Seguin as well, however I have no clue on the validity of that claim since most sources have been gossip blogs. However, that's not to say that there isn't some creepy stuff towards Seguin either, and the screenshots I've seen are definitely real.

(And no, I'm not posting the one with his address). The Double Standard when it comes to harassment towards players. Until now, this issue wasn't being talked about, let alone called out. However, I believe the reason for that being is a double standard. If the players were female, there would be a lot of discussion around it. The fans that were harassing the players, especially the male fans, would get shunned easily, and would probably be driven off the site. And of course, if the roles were reversed, the players would be called out for sexually harassing the fans as well. So... why is it any different when a male player gets sexually harassed? The answer is simple: It isn't. It's still harassment, regardless of gender. And I think we as hockey fans need to understand that. And I am absolutely astonished that this kind of behavior is normalized and even *encouraged*. Learning when the line is crossed. Again, I get it. We've all had a crush on a player. We've all had fantasies about a player. For example, I've felt similar about multiple players. There are some I do find cute, and I do fantasize about being with them. However, does this mean I'm going to go onto their Twitter or Instagram page and share those fantasies? Absolutely not. This is where the line is. They don't need to know what I think about them outside of how good they played, and they certainly don't need to know about what you think of them outside of how good they played either. It becomes a problem when you go towards that player's social media and comment those things on said social media page, or if you tag the player you're talking about. After that, it's not really a healthy obsession or a healthy crush anymore. It's straight up harassment. And of course, you can write and read fanfic about them all you want. Hell, I'll admit I've read some hockey RPF of my own. However, if you're going to post fanfiction about a player, don't tag the player in question, especially if the fanfic is NSFW. And especially don't fucking send it to them either. After that, the "fiction" in RPF is less fiction and, you guessed it, just straight-up harassment. Fiction is supposed to be just that: Fiction. Final Thoughts. I think we, as hockey fans, need to do better when it comes to how we treat hockey players and athletes overall. Not just in this particular context, but in general. The truth is, hockey players aren't just fictional characters or mythical beings or toys that we get to play with. They're living people. They're living, breathing people. They still have boundaries and they still deserve privacy, and that needs to be respected. (And sidenote: If I see anyone say that "being a celebrity means giving up privacy" or anything among those lines, I'm blocking you). Lastly, I'm thankful that Felicia and Alex Wennberg spoke out about this, even though they honestly didn't have to (and in fact they really shouldn't have to even reach that level, but alas..). And I honestly hope this creates conversation and helps hockey fans reevaluate what they say online. And, to Hockeytok and Booktok in particular, if you're reading this right now, I only have one thing to say: Do better.

(Tags are for reach and filter purposes) Edit: One more thing. if you genuinely think Alex and Felicia are at fault for the harassment they're getting, please block me.

[tattoed-and-toothless]

There are a few things about all this situation that I wanted to bring up that I haven't seen other people mentioning. (This is long, so feel free to scroll away if you're tired of it all, i don't blame you)

I'm not sure if anyone else has said this, but I think the Seattle social media team could have handled their response to this A LOT better. First, they promoted a seemingly toxic situation that seems like it didnt really have a good place to end. What? They just stop making booktok content and people get upset that they took a 180° turn. Like how people are upset that they did that now, after the Wennberg's spoke up. Maybe posting something like, "hey, its been brought to our attention that members of the Kraken organization felt uncomfortable with certain posts so we have chosen to take them down." I don't think they should have posted a lot of those videos in the first place (some of them were pg and wholesome).

But I don't think they should have just gone no-comment and dropped all their booktok content and unfollowed Kierra either. They could have messaged her and explained themselves a bit more and parted ways amicably. After all, they did invite her to a playoff game and gave her a jersey very publicly on their account as well. Both accounts gained a following around it.

Quite frankly, I think their social media team ran with the trend because it was popular and it was getting them more views. But they probably should have consulted with the people in the videos before posting them. Imagine your workplace posting thirst traps of you doing your job, without asking if they could post it. I know a lot of that might be in their contracts, something about media and it may not specify types of media, i dont know. But human decency is the whole topic here people.

I also think that the social media team for the kraken may be a bit young, and not as experienced at posting things for athletes or teams specifically. They may be experienced at social media managing as a whole, but not necessarily managing for something of this caliber, with this magnitude of publicity. it seems like they jumped the gun on this stuff.

A whole other thing that i've noticed is that with every new video, every new comment about the situation, Kierra Lewis has seemed to make this whole thing about herself. Every video she posts seems to inflate the drama more and it doesn't need to be this big of a deal to me. Kierra talks about how they called her out and blamed her specifically.

Felicia DID write her first message over screenshots of her video. But she didn't name Kierra specifically, even though she very easily could have. It was a fairly straightforward statement Felicia posted about how she knows that her husband is attractive and she isn't mad at people appreciating that. She just asked the entirety of booktok, and anyone else who sees the post, to be more respectful of what they say, how they say it, and who they say it to. And then put that text over some comments she had screenshotted and hit post.

Felicia wasn't trying to make an issue of anything, she's just asking people to respect her husband and other public figures of either gender. It was simple. She didn't point fingers. She didn't name names. She asked that EVERYONE be respectful and mindful of what the say in comments, DMs, videos, etc... which is something we should already be doing.

As soon as she didn't get a DM back from Felicia, Kierra went off on everyone. She was so apologetic and nice in the messages she sent Felicia, offering to take down any videos they wanted and saying that she didnt mean to offend anyone. And then she turned it around and blamed everyone else. I feel like this could have been over with so quickly, but she keeps posting more videos about it and adding fuel to a fire that could have been put out.

Her videos keep drawing more attention and not the good kind. I feel like she drew a lot of conclusions based on assumptions of people's intentions without knowing their real intentions. In this world, when you assume the worst of everyone, you get the worst of everyone. It's not a fun world to be in.

I think it was wrong the way the kraken social media team communicated things and I think it's wrong the Kierra seems to be inflating the situation with every toxic video she posts. But as a whole, everyone out here coming after the Wennberg's and their family when all they asked for was respect? That shows more about your own character than it does theirs.

In the end, nobody is perfect and mistakes happen, but this has blown up so much more than I'm sure Alex or Felicia ever intended it to. They just wanted respite from the comments and messages they were tired of seeing.

-

-

Feel free to DM me, i'd love to have a genuine conversation with people about this, whether you agree with me or not. But only if you're willing to have a civil conversation

[blusical]

By the way I forgot to include this on my main post about this subject, and I don't feel like editing it again so here's another two cents I have. A lot of comments I've seen on the Wennberg's insta pages are usually among the lines of "You were okay with it then so why are you upset now?". And that's the other thing I want to point out: People are allowed to withdraw consent. Just because Alex was okay with it then doesn't mean he's okay with it now. Consent is consent, and if he no longer consents to it, he no longer consents to it, and that's something that needs to be respected. It's not hard to understand.

[blusical]

You know what? Fuck it. Instead of primarily focusing on the creeps on Booktok (though they do deserve to be called out), how about we express our support for Alex Wennberg and talk about how good of a player he is, or even talk about his best moments or some of the good deeds he did? I feel like Alex and his wife need to know that we're all on their side. This can be on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit and more.

[blusical]

Some nice Alex Wennberg content from four months ago that I thought was really cool.

[blusical]

While we're still on the subject of the Booktok mess. This should go without saying, but please don't harass any booktok creators, especially if they had nothing to do with this situation. What's happening is disgusting, but two wrongs don't make a right. Just stick with calling out the harassing users or better yet maybe even blocking them.

[blusical]

Not going to lie, the more I look into this booktok discourse, the more I'm glad I never downloaded TikTok.

[blusical]

...You know things are bad when THG makes a video about it.

[blusical]

Tagging system because there's a lot

(Still a bit of a WIP so...) lyric:liveblog - Liveblogging tag. sync:reblog - reblogs, because ofc. song:just chatting - Ramblings and whatnot. song:serious - serious posts. song:rant - rants, vents, other complaints. song:shitposting - new tag, for shitposts and whatnot. sync:asks - asks and stuff. album:icons - icons I made! album:banners - banners i made. album:userboxes - userboxes. Probably won't be using this one often but whatever. album:art - Newish tag for artwork, both my art and others'. skip to:polls - basically what it says on the tin. skip to:misc - Not hockey related. PKaneposting - newish tag for kane posts because i post him more often than i should (also for folks to use in case they dont wanna see me post or ramble about him) Corey Perry Situation - Basically stuff that went down with Perry that kind of deserved its own tag. I stand with Alex and Felicia Wennberg - Another situation that deserved it's own tag tbh. well fuck - me complaining about goals scored against my own team lmfao. problematic athletes - Discussions surrounding primarily problematic hockey players.

[tattoed-and-toothless]

I was going to make a post of this format, but I definitely couldn't put my point across as well as this. I hope it's okay that I add a bit to it.

After Felicia put out her initial statement, talking about how uncomfortable the comments made them, people continued to defend their behavior?!? People continued to harass them when they were clearly made uncomfortable?!?

It makes me absolutely sick.

Those people need to relearn what consent means.

As said in an article posted by another hockeyblr user (i couldn't find the post, but you should definitely read the whole think) :

"The reality is that Consent, at any time, can be revoked or given. It is a pass you can lose or get from one party to another based on lines the other party draws."

And I think that statement sums this up perfectly. Consent can be given or taken away at any time for any reason.

I don't care what you guys create on the internet, as long as it doesn't come at the expense of other people. Other human beings.

Like Felicia first said,

"you can be sex positive without exploiting others."

She clearly draws a boundary that should be simple to respect.

"What doesnt sit well with me is when your desires come with sexual harassment, inappropriate comments, and the fact that with the internet we can normalize behavior that would never be okay if we flipped the genders around to a guy doing this to a female athlete."

"I mean no hate on the booktok community just a little request for people to think twice about their comments/videos..."

And in some more "mild" responses some people are seriously claiming that booktok is the only reason that Alex or the Seattle Krakens are even popular and they will now lose all their fans? Because their social media page posted a bunch of booktok related Wennberg posts over the past few months (that they have since taken down).

Grow up. Hockey has had a following in that city for over a century. And a man who has made more than $30 million as a Professional Athlete, probably won't be hurting from a loss of tiktok fans.

Some of the worst comments I didn't show but here's some that are close:

And even comments like this...

...are frankly gross to me. Clearly they have an amazing and loving relationship. Especially if she felt comfortable calling such people out in the first place.

And because of those comments/other backlash, it got so bad that they both had to make separate statements.

Alex started by making a statement about the "vile" comments being left on photos of his wife and son. That is a boundary that we should all know not to cross by now.

He finishes with:

"Enough of sexual harassment, and harassment of our character and relationship."

They had a simple request in Felicia's first statement and people couldn't respect it, and it got so much worse.

Why can't people just leave people alone? You made your comments. You made your videos. People were hurt, and made uncomfortable, and victimized. That should be the final straw. It doesn't matter if it was a joke. It's not funny anymore.

If it was a husband making a statement in regards to his wife being harassed. You would have shut that shit down immediately.

Instead, here you get defensive, and aggressive, and you push the boundaries of human decency.

Do better.

The sexualization of hockey players is too normalized.

(TW: Sexual harassment, stalking, victim blaming(?). Reader discretion advised) (Notes: No DNI on this post since I want this to be an open discussion, just don't be an asshole and keep it SFW). To clear any potential confusion, I wanna add some disclaimers. 1. No, this isn't about real person fiction as a whole. The concept of RPF is a more complicated subject that crosses fanfic discourse territory, and that kind of discourse is not something I want to promote on this blog for my own comfort. 2. For the record, there is nothing wrong with having a crush on a player, or finding a player hot or cute. However, trying to sexually harass them is when it becomes a problem. 3. Yes, this is about the Alex Wennberg situation. TL;DR: We as hockey fans need to be more fucking respectful of a hockey player's boundaries and privacy. Again, having a crush on them or fantasizing about them isn't a bad thing, but going to their social media and saying such things crosses the line.

I think we can all safely say that we've all had our moments where we developed a crush on a hockey player. I think we can say that we've all had our moments where we had *certain* fantasies about them too. However, I think we all need to learn that there are times where it can go too far. And that is exactly what's going on with Alex Wennberg. Who's Alex Wennberg and what's going on? Alex Wennberg is an NHL player currently playing for the Seattle Kraken. Recently, his wife has spoken out against some sexual harassment that has been occurring against him, particularly in the form of writing. (Warning: NSFW comment in one screenshot)

However, this ultimately only led to further harassment against not only Alex, but his wife as well.

This ultimately led to Felicia and Alex making further statements shown below. (I've had to take multiple screencaps of the statements since they get pretty long). Felicia's statement:

Alex's statement:

This has been a problem for a while. Unfortunately, this isn't new. You might have seen this video featuring Connor Bedard, who was seventeen at the time. Tbh, this isn't sexualization per se, but it's still very uncomfortable and still an example of how obsessive hockey fans can be. In the video, Connor Bedard is signing jerseys, and a mother and a daughter come up to him, with the daughter asking Bedard to be her valentine, with the mom demanding that Bedard says yes. Bedard does eventually budge and say yes. Though while it might be easily brushed off as a "haha fans having fun" thing, keep in mind that Bedard was only 17 at the time. I have no idea how old the daughter was, but either way.

And it's not just limited to that. It's not uncommon to see really cursed signs. Including *this* one.

There's also something about Tyler Seguin's wife stalking Seguin as well, however I have no clue on the validity of that claim since most sources have been gossip blogs. However, that's not to say that there isn't some creepy stuff towards Seguin either, and the screenshots I've seen are definitely real.

(And no, I'm not posting the one with his address). The Double Standard when it comes to harassment towards players. Until now, this issue wasn't being talked about, let alone called out. However, I believe the reason for that being is a double standard. If the players were female, there would be a lot of discussion around it. The fans that were harassing the players, especially the male fans, would get shunned easily, and would probably be driven off the site. And of course, if the roles were reversed, the players would be called out for sexually harassing the fans as well. So... why is it any different when a male player gets sexually harassed? The answer is simple: It isn't. It's still harassment, regardless of gender. And I think we as hockey fans need to understand that. And I am absolutely astonished that this kind of behavior is normalized and even *encouraged*. Learning when the line is crossed. Again, I get it. We've all had a crush on a player. We've all had fantasies about a player. For example, I've felt similar about multiple players. There are some I do find cute, and I do fantasize about being with them. However, does this mean I'm going to go onto their Twitter or Instagram page and share those fantasies? Absolutely not. This is where the line is. They don't need to know what I think about them outside of how good they played, and they certainly don't need to know about what you think of them outside of how good they played either. It becomes a problem when you go towards that player's social media and comment those things on said social media page, or if you tag the player you're talking about. After that, it's not really a healthy obsession or a healthy crush anymore. It's straight up harassment. And of course, you can write and read fanfic about them all you want. Hell, I'll admit I've read some hockey RPF of my own. However, if you're going to post fanfiction about a player, don't tag the player in question, especially if the fanfic is NSFW. And especially don't fucking send it to them either. After that, the "fiction" in RPF is less fiction and, you guessed it, just straight-up harassment. Fiction is supposed to be just that: Fiction. Final Thoughts. I think we, as hockey fans, need to do better when it comes to how we treat hockey players and athletes overall. Not just in this particular context, but in general. The truth is, hockey players aren't just fictional characters or mythical beings or toys that we get to play with. They're living people. They're living, breathing people. They still have boundaries and they still deserve privacy, and that needs to be respected. (And sidenote: If I see anyone say that "being a celebrity means giving up privacy" or anything among those lines, I'm blocking you). Lastly, I'm thankful that Felicia and Alex Wennberg spoke out about this, even though they honestly didn't have to (and in fact they really shouldn't have to even reach that level, but alas..). And I honestly hope this creates conversation and helps hockey fans reevaluate what they say online. And, to Hockeytok and Booktok in particular, if you're reading this right now, I only have one thing to say: Do better.

(Tags are for reach and filter purposes) Edit: One more thing. if you genuinely think Alex and Felicia are at fault for the harassment they're getting, please block me.

[blusical]

that'd be a nice idea, though you don't have to :)

You know what? Fuck it. Instead of primarily focusing on the creeps on Booktok (though they do deserve to be called out), how about we express our support for Alex Wennberg and talk about how good of a player he is, or even talk about his best moments or some of the good deeds he did? I feel like Alex and his wife need to know that we're all on their side. This can be on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit and more.