#i spent time on this

[sebastian-ciel-mutual-bullying]

I feel like modern day Sebastian would be so into his butler aesthetic that he'd be a crunchy mom. No artificial flavors, preservatives, etc. And no plastic bottles.

ABSOLUTELY NO MICROPLASTICS

(At first...)

And then Ciel does that ONE thing to piss him off enough to throw his Butler's Aesthetic out the window and want the child to die faster.

Such as:

The tide has TURNED

All of the sudden, Little Master gets some new seasoning to his organic dishes.

And Sebastian would be serving it to him like

"Ah, one must have faith that this method will prove effective. He will die young, surely"

[senespera-ffxiv]

Bakooling His Ja Ja's

Okay so this entire thing started when my friend and I started seeing posts about how Bakool Ja Ja would have two Ja Ja’s. And so I was like “hmm I wonder what lizards actually have” and here I am at the bottom of this rabbit hole wondering how I got here

I’m gonna split this into roughly three sections

The sexual anatomy of lizards (as explained by someone who knows about it through wikipedia)

The potential neural circuitry of a two-headed individual’s nads (as explained by someone who refuses to look up case studies that could elaborate on this so this is largely speculative)

The implications of the first two sections on what certain activities with Bakool Ja Ja would be like

//NSFW TEXT AND CARTOONISH IMAGERY BELOW THE CUT

//There's no actual things there, just badly drawn Ja Ja's lol

Section 1: The Sexual Anatomy of Lizards

Our journey starts with a thing called a Hemipenis. Now, when I first looked this up I was also severely confused cuz I was like “what the fuck is a hemipenis, is it like half a penis, like a fucking cylinder that got cut in half or something” well turns out they’re a little bit more fucked up than that

They are essentially inverted dicks that are pushed out by erectile tissue, and lizards will typically have two. They can also be ornamented with shit like spines, it all looks very weird unfortunately they very much do look like dicks on lizards so I’m gonna include one from a rattlesnake instead which just kinda looks like a spiny blob that way tumblr admins don’t kill me

The weirdest part is that the tube through which semen flows is Outside (unlike in the human penis where the urethra should be inside the penis) and is instead called the Sulcus Spermaticus. I can only assume this translates to “cum groove” in Latin.

I should also mention something about the spines cuz there’s multiple theories as to why they’re there. Cuz a spiny dick seems somewhat counterproductive to sex.

Theory #1 is that it’s involved in a lock-and-key mechanism to ensure that no one else that isn’t a lizard of that same species can fuck it. Female lizards have been observed to have cloacas with similar structures to male lizard hemipenes, etc.

Theory #2 is that the spines are there to promote longer and more successful reproduction for males. Make of this information what you will.

There’s also theories as to why there’s two dicks and it has to do with how female lizards can just kinda store semen for later, which does mean that it’s possible that even after fucking a male lizard won’t be able to actually have children. Thus, the two dicks come in for multiple consecutive fuck sessions, that way if one starts running out of juice the other one can sub in while the first one recovers.

Section 2: The Potential Neural Circuitry of a Two-Headed Individual’s Nads

I’m not looking up case studies for this so you’ll get my neurobio undergrad speculative theories on this shit, but there’s two possibilities I can think of for Bakool Ja Ja’s specific situation, and it has to do with how bifurcated his two heads’ nervous systems are.

Their nervous systems are only really differentiated at the neck up (implies that their spinal cords merge at or just below the neck)

Their nervous systems are bifurcated across the entire body (implies that their spinal cords either don’t merge at all or only merge at the very bottom)

As an additional note I should mention that by spinal cord I mean the nerves themselves. Most likely even if their spinal cords didn’t merge, they’d be running in parallel and be shaped in such a way as to resemble a normal spinal cord, just with a gap maybe right down the middle

So there’s a concept in neurology known as a “Dermatome” which is essentially a region of skin that is innervated by sensory neurons from dorsal root of any given spinal nerve (of which the major dermatomes are defined by the spinal nerve they originate from).

Using this concept, we can maybe define the Dermatomes on Bakool Ja Ja similarly, and this is where the organization of his spinal cords matter. If scenario #1 is correct, then his dermatomes will look similar to that of a human. Sensory information is also most likely copied and sent to both heads, meaning that both heads will be able to sense what happens to their entire body

If scenario #2 is correct, however, then we have something slightly more interesting and it’s that each head receives somatosensory information from the contralateral (opposite) side of the body, similar to how the brain’s two halves receive somatosensory information from the rest of the body. Here’s a really low quality diagram from my kinesiology class that shows the ascending pathways for discriminative touch (orange) and pain/temperature/affective touch (brown)

You can see that no matter where specifically they cross over, both pathways do end up crossing over to the other side. Here’s a rough diagram of how this would work out for Bakool Ja Ja that I drew myself with the relevant “dermatomes” (these aren’t actual dermatomes I just highlighted which dick is wired to which head) highlighted

The three testicles were added for sexual effect, I don’t think lizards actually have testicles but I added them to Bakool Ja Ja. For you. Please recognize my sacrifice.

Suffice it to say I’m going with Scenario #2. Not because it’s scientifically accurate or anything (scenario #1 makes more logical sense in like every single universe), but because it has funnier implications. Speaking of implications—

Section 3: The implications of the first two sections on what certain activities with Bakool Ja Ja would be like

This section is going to get NSFW real fast so you have been warned

Using our conclusion from Section #2, we can see that Bakool Ja Ja’s two Ja Ja’s will only send sensory information up to their respective head. This means that if you’re doing anything to one of them, only one head will be feeling anything, meaning that this legendary tweet by @kwehzy is now mandatory so that you don’t accidentally blue ball one of the heads

Also DP or at the very least two consecutive fuck sessions will also be mandatory to avoid blue balling one of them. Unless if that’s your goal in which case more power to you.

However, the entire universe will be working to try and stop you from fucking that two-headed lizard man because his dicks have a decently high chance of being hooked and/or covered in spikes. This has stopped exactly 0 people from trying to fuck lizardmen anyways so I don’t know why I even mentioned this, just try not to break anything.

Given all of the evidence in Section #1, whatever you decide to do with Bakool Ja Ja’s Ja Ja’s will probably end up taking a really fucking long time, so enjoy I guess

That’s it, that’s all the analysis I had. tl;dr Bakooling his Ja Ja’s will be a lengthy and potentially dangerous affair with high potential to accidentally fuck over one of the heads. Have fun.

[lightheaded-dullahan]

Carmilla and Rider Elisabeth

Original Idea: @300iqprower

[irlvernon-moved]

cant sleep im thinking about long brown haired dino dancing to unholy

[that-little-artist]

Jack in the box asked what he should wear to a convention. We where all thinking the same thing.

[vamphibian]

I know the gross arm is on the wrong side. Take it up w/ Michelangelo

[fishandships]

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[unsung-idiot]

don't show him modern technology; it won't end well

bonus under the cut:

[yeehawpim]

a comic about fix-it fanfics

[jukinthebox]

teaching robin the essentials

full view ⬇️

[lightheaded-dullahan]

The things I spend time on for my girlfriend

[icarus-suraki]

Is this anything?

[irabelas]

they stopped a whole ass blight. give them the griffon.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

RIP to Bruce. Can't get a single night to himself smh

[stargirl230]

thanks for the light

I was just trying to figure out how procreate works but then the op brainworms got to me and 35 hours later here we are! can you tell I miss home-cooked meals :')

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)