#i spent the morning with my mother and brother bringing him to his therapy sessions
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Did my infection au fanfic ask send through or. I just got off work so i have no idea
It did! I just had a busy day today so i haven't read it yet but it's definitely there 👍
#i spent the morning with my mother and brother bringing him to his therapy sessions#then at noon i worked on some college stuff and it was workout day so treadmill here we go#so I hadn't looked at Tumblr much today#hyena ramblings#infection au#zombie au
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I don’t think I’ve ever really told my own story on this blog before but since I’m a writer I’ll start by just saying that you do not ultimately get to choose what kind of family you are born into. I am an adult child of alcoholic parents. My parents are both alcoholics. One is sober, the other is not. My entire life has been about taking care of other people. My entire life has been a total and complete struggle to maintain friendships, relationships, and jobs. I’ve been in therapy since I was 10. I am a survivor of child abuse and sexual assault. And I do not think I have ever been told the following by anyone: 1. That I am loved, 2. That I can be anything that I want to be when I grow up, and 3. That I was safe to tell my own story. I never learned how to trust people at a young age. I have a college degree, so I am educated, but I basically put myself through college. And my father worked throughout my childhood and was just very angry at his kids when he came home. My brother and I were forced to go to a high school we did not want to go to, the high school where he taught at. No one even learned my name when I was a teenager. I was just Mr Dunne’s daughter. And I was bullied, picked on, teased, beaten up, relentlessly in school. Mainly I think it was mostly because I was mostly good at school. I graduated high school in the top 30 percent of my grade. I graduated with high honors. Guess I thought that if I graduated like that, my mom would quit drinking. By that time, my dad was physically shutting me up in psych wards about my mother’s alcoholism. And he kept doing it. Until summer 2012 when she finally admitted that she had a drinking problem. I spent my 21rst birthday at the rehab facility that she was staying at, telling her at a family counseling session: “mom I can’t have a relationship with you if you’re drinking.” I never understood why I had the family I had. Other families where I grew up had different dynamics. Mine was: my parents worked two or three jobs and drank on the weekends and virtually every holiday and my brother and I were miserable. That’s just the way it was. I escaped through watching Television, my favorite TV show depicting women in heroic positions like “Buffy the vampire slayer.” I escaped with music. I loved listening to Vanessa Carlton on my Walkman before high school classes began at 7:26 in the morning. Her 2007 album “Heroes and Thieves” was on repeat and it’s on my top ten favorites of all time. I write this blog not to garner sympathy but understand that a child has no power over someone else’s drinking. I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD by three different psychotherapists in the capitol region, and my father still doesn’t believe them. Or me. I have explained how I have panic attacks if I’m alone in public downtown. He doesn’t think that happens, or that I am “faking.” My hope is that my writing one day can bring people hope that you are not alone. I know how it feels specifically to be brandished as just a liar, a piece of shit, nothing more as my dad always says. I hope someday there is a community of people who can find solace and comfort in knowing that you’re not crazy, the people in your life just don’t want to see the truth in any situation. I’ll always pray for my dad. And I pray that there is hope for children who just want to be heard and that their pain is totally and completely valid. I never wanted to write my own story. I just know what alcohol and drugs do to a family. It destroys a family from the inside out. Because if you can’t see that alcohol is destructive, then I guess nothing matters in the end. Please be patient with us kids. We are trying. We are trying to heal and recover from an insidious disease. From a disease that no one really wants to deal with. Maybe one day my dad can tell me how he’s sorry. Maybe one day I hope to be able to forgive him. Because it wasn’t my fault. I hope someday he sees more than he originally did.
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Therapy Session (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}
Title: Therapy Session Rating: PG Length: 2000 Warnings: Mild Angst. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in January 1999. Summary: Reader goes to therapy after the holidays.
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Nancy carefully removed her glasses sitting them atop her desk before opening a drawer and pulling out a glasses cleaning cloth. “How were the holidays?”
You watched her hands as she wiped each lean carefully, inspecting them for smudges.
“Surprisingly relaxing.” You offered, shifting on the sofa as your gaze flickered towards the clock on the wall. Javier had agreed to joining you for today’s session — at Nancy’s prompting.
“You slipped your December session,” Nancy pointed out.
“It was a busy month.” You pushed your fingers through your hair nervously. “But a good one. We went to Laredo for Thanksgiving, came back and went headfirst into planning for Christmas.”
“And how did Christmas go?”
“Really well,” You caught your lip between your teeth, hesitating for just a second. “Mitch and his family came down from Philly. It was good to see him again. All of them, really.”
“So you did follow through with that,” Nancy tilted her head, her eyes meeting yours briefly. “Did it bring any memories back to the surface?” She questioned.
“I…” You started glancing down at your hands. “There have been a lot of memories since October.”
“And how does it feel to be addressing them again? Based on your session in November,” Nancy flipped open her notebook. “You repressed quite a bit of your childhood.”
“Yes.” You agreed. “But, Javier was incredible and let me vent about the past. He kept me grounded. He was so understanding.”
She nodded, making a note in the book. “How have you been managing the memories?
You blinked, “I’m not running from them, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I mentioned nothing about running.”
“No, but…” You frowned. “It’s just the impression I get. After the last session—“
“When it became clear that you avoided addressing deeply traumatic aspects of your life during your subsequent visits?” Nancy arched a brow at you as she replaced her glasses, peering at you over the rims. “Why is it that you see yourself as running from your trauma?”
“Because I’ve moved past it.” You said with an edge to your voice, “Would you prefer that I dwell on it?” You questioned. “It would keep me coming back, wouldn't it?”
Nancy made a note in the book, “Defensive.”
You folded your arms across your chest, “I spent sixteen years living in the trauma and five trying to grow out of it.” You gritted out. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t second guess my actions out of fear that I’ve become her.”
“So you haven’t moved past it?”
“No, I—“
Nancy gave you a skeptical look. “It’s not uncommon to feel like your trauma is ever present, but you have to accept and address that. You can’t simply pretend it away.”
“I have addressed it.” You retorted. “I’ve packed it up, stamped a label on it, and have it ready to ship.”
Nancy shook her head, “Trauma is never fully overcome, it's a process you have to work at.” She jotted another note down. “You mentioned feeling like you’ve become her… Would you care to elaborate?”
You chewed on your thumbnail, looking away from her for a long moment. “I stress about motherhood. I’m consciously aware of doing everything the opposite of what she did while raising my girls. I want them to have everything I didn’t have.”
“Like what?”
“Love.” You answered without hesitation. “Javier and I love each other in a way my mother was never capable of loving her partners. And on top of that, I try to show them the love they deserve. That’s part of the reason why I ended up here to begin with. The way I felt after Sofía was born scared me.”
Nancy nodded, glancing down at the notebook. “The fact that you’re aware of your actions, would indicate that you’re not following the same patterns as your mother.”
“I hope I’m not.” You sighed heavily, looking towards the door as someone knocked at it. “That’ll be Javier.” You told Nancy as she got up to answer the door.
“Welcome,” Nancy ushered him in. “We were just finishing our first half of the session.” She gestured to you, “Please, sir.”
Javier sank down onto the sofa beside you, reaching over to take your hand into his. “How are you doing, baby?” He questioned, lifting your hand to his lips and kissing each knuckle.
You shrugged, “We’re about ten minutes into — why I didn’t address the mother elephant in the room.”
He squeezed your hand three times.
“How have you been, Javier?” Nancy questioned as she sat down at her desk again. “How were the holidays?”
“I’ve been good.” He answered, shifting on the sofa as he got comfortable. “We went to see my pops for Thanksgiving, took the girls and the dog and made a week of it.” Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, glancing at you. “Did you tell her about your brother coming to visit?”
You nodded.
“How did that go?”
“Really well,” Javier offered, shrugging a shoulder. “Christmas Eve we had friends and family altogether to welcome them, “Christmas morning was just family.”
Nancy nodded, “We didn’t get to meet after the Halloween incident.” She flipped through her notebook. “How did you cope with the scenario?”
“How did I cope?” He cocked his head to the side. “Frankly, it wasn’t about how I felt during it. I was merely there to stand up for her.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.
“But given what I was told, it seems that her mother antagonized you. How did that make you feel?”
Javier cleared his throat, rubbing his hands together. “Not great, but after our relationship ended up in the public spotlight, I learned to ignore outside commentary.”
You reached out and ran your hand down his back, “Rebecca knows where to strike.” You added. “She would’ve lashed out similarly to any man in my life. She knew that my father was my lifeline and she always saw any male figure in my life as a threat.”
Javier nodded his head in agreement. “We worked through it. I listened, I comforted… everything you taught us to do after Sofía was born.”
Nancy hastily wrote in her notebook, “On a scale of one to ten, how well do you think the situation was handled.”
He blinked, “Nine?”
You pursed your lips and nodded in agreement, “I’d say nine too.”
“Interesting.” Nancy hummed and your expression fell.
“Interesting?”
“Nothing negative about interesting,” She assured you. “And how has your intimacy been? Has it suffered during this tumultuous period?”
You felt your cheeks warm as you shook your head, “No, it’s been good.”
“A few stolen minutes when the girls are asleep,” Javier added, staring at the ground.
“There was also the night at the ranch,” You pointed out, leaning your arm against his. That had been a risky endeavor, considering you were very much not alone. “And we were kid free for New Year’s Eve.”
Nancy nodded and took a few more notes before closing her notebook and looking between the two of you, “What are the faces for?”
You felt Javier tense beside you, “Nothing we’re comfortable with sharing right now.” You told Nancy, looping your arm through his. “Just rest assured that we’ve got intimacy covered. No dry spells here.”
Javier’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, “Definitely no complaints here.”
You fought the smirk that was playing at the corners of your lips. New Year’s Eve had been all of two days ago — and the memory of Javier writhing beneath you was still vivid in your mind.
But that was not a conversation for therapy.
Nancy hummed thoughtfully as she sat her glasses atop her notebook. “Continue addressing the situation head-on,” She advised. “You can patch the wounds of trauma, but they’ll still ache. Continue discussing it with each other.” She fixed Javier with a stern look. “I suggest opening up about your own mother.”
Javier shifted in his seat, “Alright.”
“Have a lovely rest of your month,” Nancy said as you both rose from the sofa to leave.
“That was—“ You cut yourself off, shaking your head slowly. “I shouldn’t have skipped December.”
“Hey,” Javier caught your hand, pulling you towards him. “December was crazy.”
“I don’t actually want to rehash things.” You told him. “Mitch and I had a walk down memory lane and that’s about all I can stomach for right now. Rebecca doesn’t get to live rent free in our relationship.”
He nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “If you don’t feel like you need to work on it right now, don’t.”
You sighed heavily, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. “I didn’t even get to talk about starting at the university next week.”
“Still a good session?”
You shrugged, “It’s good to talk about everything with a third party. I cried my heart out in November, this month didn’t really have anything left to give.”
Javier interlaced your fingers and guided you out of the office building and down to the car. He was clearly trying to make up for you being disappointed with the session, because he made a point to open the passenger door for you.
You loosely tied your hair back into a knot as you got yourself settled in your seat. “Thank you for coming today. You didn’t have to.”
He squeezed your knee briefly, before starting up the car and backing out of the parking spot. “Baby, I’ll do whatever I have to, to help you.”
You smiled to yourself, looking out the window. “I’m really fine.” You assured him. “I’m not gonna spiral because of any of this. I did that in November and I’m not doing it again.”
He clicked his tongue against his teeth, giving a stiff nod. “What else did you discuss?”
“Uh,” You scrunched up your nose. “The holidays, Mitch, my mother. Rehashed some of the last session briefly.” You shrugged. “I felt like she was hoping I might unload. But I’m so done dwelling on the past, Javier.”
“Me too, baby.”
“You know I worry about becoming her. About curbing those impulses when they strike.”
Javier nodded.
You pressed your tongue to the inside of your cheek and sighed heavily. “It was only sixteen years of my life.” You reiterated. “I’m pushing forty. I’ve got my only family to worry about.”
“And you’ve done a fucking amazing job, baby.” He assured you.
“It’s just bullshit,” You laughed harshly. “Isn’t it something that I overcame my hang ups when Josie happened? I never could imagine all of this,” You gestured vaguely between. “Because I had no reference of healthy relationships aside from Mitch and Darla. Not to speak ill of the dead, because I know my mother was a monster, but my father still left me with her. You know? And I just assumed it would… repeat.”
“I know.” None of it was new information for Javier.
“I mean, did Nancy want to hear me admit again that I still wake up in the middle of the night terrified that you left me?” You pressed your palms over your eyes and let out a frustrated sound. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He rubbed your leg. “How about pizza tonight?” Javier questioned, expertly changing the subject.
You perked up a little, “Extra cheese.” You said, snapping your fingers and pointing at him. “And you can order your monstrosity.”
“Blame Monica.”
“Pineapple doesn’t go on pizza, Javier.” You scolded him, but ended up snorting as you started to laugh.
“Did you just snort?” Javier started laughing, slapping his hand against the steering wheel as he stopped at a light. “Baby!”
“Hey, pineapple… and ham pizza is a divorceable offense.” You managed to get out between laughs.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Maybe not, but I can threaten it.” You teased, wiping at the tears that had slid down your cheeks from laughing so hard. “Thank you.”
“I love you,” Javier reminded you and you felt your heart warm at those words. Still, after all this time they made you swoon. What would you do without him?
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You and Me..
Chapter 2
***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.
***Chapter Warnings*** This chapter is pretty light. Mentions of death of characters parents, Jensen is a little bit of an ass, language, that’s pretty much it.
Word Count: 2057
Pairing: Jensen Ackles X Reader, Jared x reader, OFC Steve x Reader, OFC Justin x Reader.
A/N: When I originally wrote this chapter I didn’t even know who Steve Carlson was, so the Steve in this story isn’t him lol. Oddly enough I wrote this before I even really knew he was making an album lol. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.
Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…
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You woke up, much like you do every morning, with the alarm clock going off obnoxiously on your bedside table. Mornings were never your thing, but the bills weren't going to pay themselves. You rub your face hard, trying to force your eyes to focus, and your body to stay awake even though it was putting up one hell of a fight. It wants sleep, and you so desperately want to give it just that.
Finally, after about 15 minutes you roll yourself over and stand up next to the bed, looking around your messy room. You had just moved back to Austin not all that long ago. You had always lived in Texas in one place or another, but just one family vacation to Austin when you were a teenager and you were in love with the city. So as soon as you graduated high school you wasted no time in putting your application in for the University of Texas.
Much to your surprise, and a few others, you were accepted. You had wanted to major in either writing or music. Everything went great for about the first semester. Your grades were good. You worked nights at a local bar, much like a lot of your classmates, and spent your days in classes. You had new made friends, and you were finally starting to get your foothold in life. Well, that's what you thought anyway.
At the end of your first semester of college, your mother was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. When your family called you moved back to your home town, dropping everything to be with your family. Your mother and you were very close. There was no way you were going to stay away while she fights this demon that they call cancer.
It was a long fight. Over and over again she defied the odds of the doctors and everyone around her. Still, after a long five-year battle she lost her fight with the disease. Once the funeral was over you knew it was way too late to go back to college. You had taken some online courses though, and gotten your degree in creative writing while you were at home taking care of your mother.
You and your father had never really gotten along, so staying home wasn't going to be an option. With all that in mind, you did the only thing you knew to do. You made the move back to Austin in the same month as your mother's funeral. Your father had over the years fallen into alcoholism. He'd always fought it, but after your mother's death, it only got the best of him. You weren’t going to stick around and watch him destroy himself.
Last year he straightened out a curve on the way home. He never survived the crash. Your brother had him cremated. He didn't even bother calling you, and telling you till it was all over. Your brother wasn't happy about you leaving home. He blamed you for your dad's struggle with the bottle after mom died, but that wasn't your fault. You didn't put a funnel in his mouth and make him drink. No one twisted his arm. He did it all on his own.
For the past three years, you had been renting an apartment in downtown Austin. It was a small, just a studio apartment, but it was all you needed. You had also landed a job at a small recording stupid in Austin. Even though you loved writing, and still did it on the side, you hadn't gotten your break yet. Music was your passion. It was what got you up in the morning, and helped you make it through the day. It was your therapy. Your outlet. Your escape from this shit existence that was your life.
You had slowly worked your way up In the studio. Starting with getting coffee, and cleaning behind the artist that came in to record. It didn't take long for Steve, your boss, to see that you had a good ear for music. He put you helping in the recording booth not long after you started.
Today you were informed that there would be a new local artist coming in to start his recording process and you were put on his beat. They didn't tell you his name, but they did say that you would probably recognize him. Even though he was local, he was famous, but they didn’t tell you who he was in order to keep rumors down the only one who knew who was coming was Steve. They made you swear not to tell anyone that he was recording, telling you that he wanted it to stay a secret until the album was done. That's why he chose a local recording studio instead of some big one in California.
As you walked to the studio this morning your nerves were vibrating. Justin, another sound tech that would be working with you today, greeted you at the door.
"You ready Y/N?" he asked, greeting you with a smile over his shoulder.
"Ready as I'll ever be," you tell him, putting your purse under the counter in the lockbox you all used and turning your phone on silent. No outside noises were ever allowed in the studio.
"Well I hate to put more on us than we already got, but there are two things you need to know before the artist gets here today. First, Jennifer, the girl that normally does the coffee, drinks, and whatever else the artist needs isn't going to be here today, her son has strep. Second, Steve will also be sitting in on today's session," he said, looking at you apologetically.
You hated working with Steve. He was such a jerk when it came to recording time. He wanted everything done too quickly. Always in a rush to make a deadline instead of taking his time, and getting the best recording.
Jennifer being gone, and two other guys in the sound room with you means that you will most likely be stuck on snake detail for this artist, and whatever bunch of groupies he's bringing with him all day.
"Lovely,” you said with a sarcastic eye roll. Justin continued to look at you apologetically.
“It's cool, let's just get this started. I'll get the recording room ready. How many are in his party today?" you asked, waiting for the answer that you dreaded the most.
"Only one other guy will be coming with him today from what I understand. Today is gonna be a lot of met and discuss. From what I understand there will be a guest singing on this album too. So it's probably a good thing Steve's gonna be here. If this guy is a prick then Steve can handle him."
Justin's attitude toward the whole situation cracked you up. Apparently, he was just as excited about this as you were.
You walk into the recording room and begin to sit out beers, whiskey, water, and even start the coffee pot going in the break room. You walk back in the recording room and start sitting out shot glasses and other things when you heard voices coming your way. You look up in time to meet a pair of deep emerald green eyes staring back at you.
Your breath catches in your throat as you look around the room at all the men.
"I'm the only chick, great," you think to yourself, but there was something about the smirk on the man's face standing in front of you with the emerald green eyes that made your stomach do flips with a feeling you've never felt before.
He smiled at you and It nearly knocked you off your feet. Damn, this guy is gorgeous. That's when Steve decided to speak up.
"Y/N, this is Mr. Jensen Ackles, and his friend, Jared. Mr. Ackles has graciously chosen our stupid to record his debut album," Steve says, moving to stand beside Jensen.
You try to keep your jaw from hitting the floor as you take in the two actors standing in front of you. You had been a fan of Supernatural for years.
You nod at the two men. "It's nice to meet," you say, and they both smile back at you. Neither spoke, which you found odd. When you watched the con videos online they seemed so friendly.
"The room is ready, Steve," you tell your boss, then quickly as you can scamper into the sound room with Justin to wait for them to get started.
You didn't really need to know what all they were doing. You just needed to make sure that whatever they were doing sounded good on tape.
"You alright Y/N?" Justin asks as you sit down in the chair with a huff.
"Yeah, That's Jensen freaking Ackles. I'm going to be working with Jensen freaking Ackles," you say in a state of shock.
"Easy girl, you know celebrities don't like to be fangirled all over," Justin says with a chuckle as he fires up the equipment and computers.
"I'm a professional Justin. I'm not going to fangirl all over anyone," you tell him with an eye roll.
You watch as the men stand there and talk, pointing to different things. Steve getting Jensen ready to get started.
After a few hours of recording, and some drinks later Jensen, as well as Steve and Jared, had loosened up a little. Jared was in the sound room with you guys watching his best friend work. He was easy to talk to. During a break in recording while you were downloading the song he just recorded into the computer, Jared had been showing you pictures of his kids. He'd been cracking you all up with stories for the past hour.
"See this is Tom, trying to prank his little brother with a whip cream pie," he said, leaning over to you, showing you the video. That's when the two of you heard Jensen’s deep voice boom over the monitors.
"Hey, Steve, tell your girl in there to stop flirting with a married man, and go bring me some fucking coffee."
The whole room turned to look at you. Jensen was still sitting in the recording room with a guitar in his lap, giving you a cold stare through the thick glass. The comment stung. You weren't his damn maid, and you weren't flirting with a married man. Steve gave you an apologetic look. You knew you had to play along. Jensen was paying them a lot of money. So if he wanted you to shine his shoes while he sang you had to do it.
"Right away Mr. Ackles," Steve said, giving you a look that screamed, “I'm sorry.”
Jared was giving his friend a death glare that Jensen didn’t seem to notice, or at least didn’t care.
"I'm sorry Y/N, he's just been a little on edge lately. That's not normally Jensen," Jared apologizing for his friend as you stand to go get his coffee for him.
"It's fine," was all you can say.
In truth though, you felt like he'd just ripped your heart out and stomped on it. Not to mention humiliated you in front of your boss and coworker. You fought back tears as you poured his coffee and entered the recording room.
You handed him his coffee, not even looking at him. He snatched it out of your hand, not even looking at you or saying thank you. You thought you had a crush on this guy. Turns out he's an ass hole like every other celebrity and artist you'd ever meet. Just another cocky dick that thought his shit didn’t stink.
Watching him on Supernatural and Smallville had gotten you through some really hard times in your life. You would have never thought he’d have done anything like he just did to you. You always pictured him as such a nice, genuine guy. Man, were you ever wrong.
You made your way from the recording room to the front where you kept your purse under the counter and shot Steve a text that said you weren’t feeling good, and you had to go home. Which wasn’t totally a lie, because your heart was broken, and you couldn’t stop the wave of tears that were streaming down your face.
You didn’t know why that one man’s opinion had hurt so much. You didn’t know him, and he didn’t know you, but as you fell back through the doors of the apartment you felt like your heart was shattered into a thousand pieces.
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#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles fanficiton#jensen ackles fic#jensen ackles series#jensen x reader#jensen x you#SPN fanfiction#SPN Fanfic#SPN#dark!fic#hurt!comfort#hurt!Jensen#smut fic#jawritter#you and me
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A small light in the darkness
Oneshot that popped into my head.
Pairing: Sakura x Shisui
Rating T, mentions of war and PTSD
Summary: Shisui couldn’t recognize himself anymore. What was the point anymore. After a night of poor sleep Shisui decides to go to a local coffee shop, meeting a certain pink haired student for the first time.
Word count: 1971
His heart started to race, flashes crossing his mind, he could feel the sweat starting to cover his body. Shisui shot straight up from his slumber.
“It was just a dream. Not real. I’m back home. I’m safe. My family is safe.” Shisui kept repeating to himself. He was no longer deployed, he had come back home a few months ago. Shisui was supposed to be deployed for 6 more months, but he ended up taking shrapnel to his eyes in an explosion. Thankfully he didn’t loose his eyesight, he was told he was lucky. Shisui didn’t feel lucky, like his sight his life was blurry. Shisui had spent almost a month in the hospital following multiple surgeries. Even there some of the noises triggered memories that were not pleasant. Dr. Tsunade had seen the signs he was exhibiting and placed him into therapy.
He felt like a shell of what he used to be. Shisui couldn’t bring himself to joke, when he did he would remember the faces of the men who didn’t survive the explosion. They were all gathered around one of the fire pits they set up outside, the men had gotten letters from home. One of them was showing off pictures of his new daughter, a bright smile on his face. The solider was due to go back home in a few weeks. Instead of being hugged by his adoring wife and getting to hold his daughter for the first time, he went home in a body bag instead. No cute video to be taken of him seeing his family. Instead she would stand on the tarmac with the other wives. Dark thoughts were overtaking Shisui. He would have traded places with …Asuma, that was his name, in a heart beat.
What did Shisui have to go home to? An empty one bedroom apartment. His cousin Itachi was preparing to get married to his high school sweetheart. Shisui felt his hands begin to shake. Venturing out to his balcony he reached inside the potted plant to grab his pack of cigarettes. It was a bad habit he picked up during one of his deployments. It was still dark out, around 2am. The lighter providing a hypnotic glow as he went to light the cigarette. It burned as he inhaled the first drag, but it reminded him he was alive. As he looked around it was blurry, he forgot his fucking glasses. The blurriness of his surroundings started to take him back. The yelling, the smell of everything burning, how he couldn’t see. It was a surprise attack, no warning.
He let out a yell. Hopelessness overcame him. Before he knew it he was on the floor rocking back and forth. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Why couldn’t he do anything right. Why couldn’t he protect his men. All he wanted was to make sure his family remained safe. That his cousin didn’t have to worry, he deserved to live a life with his loving sweetheart as his younger brother tried to best him. He didn’t want anyone to suffer, he would take all the suffering if it meant others could be happy.
Shisui had to take calming breaths. His heart rate was slowing down. The shaking slowing down. He still could feel the unexplained worry. Was Itachi alright? Shisui grabbed his phone looking at the last message Itachi sent.
‘Just got home from the office. Izumi is making dinner. She says I can’t have any more sweets before the wedding. Stay safe and don’t forget your therapy appointment in the morning.’
Itachi was safe. He was where he is supposed to be. Shisui looked at the time, it was almost 5am. His attack took 3 hours from him. It wasn’t the longest attack, but also not the shortest he has had. Shisui decided to change into sweatpants, a simple T-shirt, and his running shoes. He hoped a run would help clear his mind.
10 miles. Shisui had run 10 miles. His legs ached, his chest was tight, but it was a good feeling. The tingling of his muscles was a welcome feel. He felt more in control of his body. Jumping into the shower to get ready for the day it was like washing some of the memories away. He knew he couldn’t wash them away for good, but even a few moments would suffice. Brushing his teeth he cleaned the mirror and looked at his reflection. He could barely recognize the person staring back at him. He felt older than 33, he could see his scares around his eyes, so faint, but a reminder of his failures. ‘Don’t go there Shisui, don’t ruin your work this morning.’
After getting dressed Shisui looked at the time it was almost 8. He had plenty of time to get some coffee before his therapy session. It had been a while since he last sat in a coffee shop drinking a cup of coffee, watching people hustle and bustle with the start of their day. Mind made up he grabbed his keys and headed out.
Leaf Coffee and Tea was a local shop Downtown, close to his apartment and his therapist’s office wasn’t too far either. Ordering a simple black coffee Shisui settled down into the worn leather chairs by the large windows. He was able to see the pedestrians walking down the street along with everyone in the shop. Men and women in suits came in ordered their drinks and then looked impatient as they waited for their orders. Feet tapping on the floor and occasionally glancing at their watches. He heard a bunch of giggling high school students at one of the large tables in the center of the coffee shop. It was hilarious to see some of the college students glare at the group as they studied.
Shisui reclined his head back, taking a moment to close his eyes and take everything in. The noises around him were almost comforting. He could hear odd bits of conversations. Then he felt it. A pressure on his shoulder. He jolted up, on high alert.
“Excuse me sir. I didn’t mean to startle you. Is there anyone sitting in this chair?” The voice was soft. He looked to his right and paused. The sight before him was familiar for some reason. He had gotten use to the desert that surrounded him, the lack of color. However, it seemed there was no lack of color with the person standing before him. She had navy stockings on, a grey skirt that came mid thigh, her blouse was a dark forest green. But it wasn’t her outfit that packed the color punch, but the girl herself. Her eyes could put a forest to shame with how green they were. Did trees weep, jealous of the emerald color. Her hair was gathered in a braid it looked like, but he had no clue what type, small pieces framed her face, he wondered if she dyed it that pink. When he went to look at her face again and noticed the pink eyebrows and eyelashes he had no doubt her color was natural. She looked like a nature spirt walking around disguised as a person.
“Uh… sorry I didn’t catch that.” Shisui felt like he wanted to kick himself.
“I wanted to know if this seat was taken. There are no more open places to sit. Are you waiting for anyone?” She didn’t look annoyed. She had removed her hand from his shoulder. He then noticed that she carried her own cup of coffee, but also a really heavy looking book.
“No. I’m not saving the seat, please sit down.” She moved like a ballerina, so graceful. Graceful until she flopped herself in the seat.
“Thanks! I got here later than I expected and my usual seat was gone. This coffee shop tends to get pretty busy. I blame my idiot roommate, she silenced my alarm, said I needed to stop studying for a moment. I adore her like a sister, but we have different priorities….” She kept talking and then trialed off.
“I’m so sorry! I started to ramble, don’t mind me sir.” A blush spread across her cheeks. Good she looked so young, maybe late teens early twenties. He felt like a perv.
“No problem, it’s nice to have some company. “ Smooth, very smooth. She relaxed at his words. Shisui hadn’t felt this relaxed in…well he couldn’t remember when.
“Did you just move to the area? I haven’t seen you here before.” She didn’t look up from her textbook as she spoke.
“No I’ve lived here for some time. This coffee place is new to me. I haven’t been here before. “ his coffee was almost gone as he looked into his cup. He wanted to savor these last few sips and the company he was with. Here he was just a man, talking to a woman (hoping she was closer to the early twenties mark).
Before she could ask more questions he spoke. “What are you studying for? That is quite the book you got.” Man could he sound more like an old man.
“Oh this is just a review book. I’m in my last year of medical school and have to take test before applying to residency. I like to come here and study for a change of scenery.” She started to pull out a bag full of highlighters, pens, and post its. How could one person need so many pens.
He didn’t know how to respond. His people skills were getting to almost Sasuke level bad it seemed. He could hear a ringing and then realized it was his phone.
“Hey Itachi. Yes I’m fine, I went to get coffee this morning. Yes I won’t forget. I have 30 minutes before I have to be there. Who died and made you my mother?” God why was Itachi such a mother hen! Well Shisui knew why and appreciated it most of the time. In all honesty he almost forgot he had a therapy session soon.
“Yes I can come over for dinner tonight. Do you need me to bring anything? Got it. “ Shisui realized that the woman’s eyes were on him.
“Sorry about that. That was my cousin. I should probably get going soon.” He looked at his coffee, it was empty. Disappointment filling his cup instead of coffee.
“Your cousin Itachi, he wouldn’t happen to have a brother named Sasuke would he? “ Don’t freak out Shisui, don’t freak out. She doesn’t look like a stalker.
“Yes he has a younger brother named Sasuke.” His voice was full of apprehension.
“Oh my! You must be Shisui! I have been friends with Sasuke since college, well more like Naruto initially dragged him to all of our group gatherings. “ She knew Sasuke and was friends with him, yep he felt like a pervert. However, that meant she was more around 25 and not as young as she appeared.
“I should let you go to your meeting. I’m Sakura by the way.” She held her hand out. His heart started to race again, but this time it wasn’t surrounding unpleasant flashbacks, but nerves. God his hands were sweaty. The moment their hands touched, everything melted away.
“ I guess that means I’ll be seeing you around.” Shisui had hope for the first time surfacing. A small light was starting to break through all of the darkness.
As Shisui walked out of the shop he couldn’t help but look back. She was sitting with her legs folded under her engrossed in her studies. The way to his therapists office wasn’t the heavy march it has been in the past. Maybe he could see if Itachi and Izumi would have Sasuke and his friends join for one of their dinners.
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&&guests may mistake me as (danielle campbell), but really i am (spencer jean + cis female + she/her) and my DOB is (03/15/1997). i am applying for the (event coordinator) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite (209). i should be hired because i am (empathetic, honest & selfless), but i can also be (pessimistic, fearful & indecisive) at times. personally, i like to (blog & drink wine) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.
tw; rape, abusive relationship.
Born on the West-side of the city.
The youngest of 4 kids.
Her whole family didn’t have much growing up. Both parents worked weird jobs to get them all through financially.
She was really close to her older cousin, Dan from a very young age. He would take her out often and they got very close.
Most of the family didn’t think much of it until Spencer turned six, and even then it was just weird glances occasionally from family members.
Spencer herself felt like Dan hung the moon in the sky. He was always kind to her and never made her feel stupid. Plus he was older and gave her so much of his time so it always made her feel special.
It was not longer after her eighth birthday that Dan pulled her to the side and said he wanted to play a new game. She was hesitant at first to give him what he explained as “special touches” but he insisted that it would make him very happy, and she always wanted him to be happy.
This “game” went on until she was eleven. She explained it to her father who was horrified after he realized what this game was. He confronted Dan, who was now eighteen, and he denied it.
Not longer after, Spencer’s three brothers paid him a visit. He was found in an alley all alone the next morning, completely naked and unconscious.
Spencer felt like a husk after she no longer had any contact with Dan. So much so that she began to lash out and she wasn’t the bright and happy child that she had been.
Her mother and father started looking into programs for her but quickly realized that they couldn’t afford any of them. After much conversation and tears, they decided to pack her up and send her to her mother’s widowed sister, Maggie.
Maggie was always very eclectic and outspoken and she’d been lonely since her husband died before they could have any children together. She was so excited to have Spencer come stay with her that she gave her her own completely furnished room with a computer and TV.
Spencer was very hesitant to leave her parents and brothers. She knew that their home wasn’t much, but it was home. Maggie lived on the rich side of town and she wasn’t completely sure if she’d be able to fit in over there. Her mother and father both explained to her that she could come visit whenever she wanted and her brothers would come by as often as they could.
After reassurance from her parents, Spencer packed up the very few belongings she actually cared about and moved in with Maggie.
The first few weeks were a whirlwind of shopping trips. Maggie worked from home for a high profile company and her husband had left her a rather large fortune. And Maggie already adored Spencer and spared no expense for her niece. New clothes, games, furniture for her room. Spencer wasn’t exactly comfortable with all the money she knew was being spent, but she already felt as if she could trust Maggie more than anyone else she’d ever met.
Maggie got Spencer into therapy not long after she moved in. Her therapist explained as gently as she could to Spencer what had happened to her. No one up until that point had explained to Spencer that what Dan had done was wrong, because they didn’t really know how. Maggie had to take her home in tears after that specific therapy session.
Spencer’s therapist suggested different activities to help her cope. She began painting, writing, playing various instruments as well as throwing herself headfirst into her academics all while adjusting to her new life with Maggie.
Under Maggie’s guidance, Spencer breezed through middle school. She made a small group of friends and socialized fairly often in and out of school. By eighth grade, she was in all honors classes and even there she was requesting harder and more complex assignments.
Spencer visited often with her family and grew extremely close to her brothers. Her father often still blamed himself for her relationship with Dan but her mother often scolded him for this as lovingly as she could. As they watched their daughter flourish with Maggie, they both knew that they had made the right choice for her, even if sometimes it didn’t feel that way.
Her freshman year of high school, Maggie requested the school test her for her grade level versus just putting her into freshman classes. Maggie knew that Spencer had much more in her mind than she often led on, and insisted that she be tested. To Spencer’s shock, she tested out of both freshman and sophomore year. According to all of her test scores, she was at a junior year level. She was signed up for junior year classes and started her first year of high school.
Spencer was terrified of the potential bullying this situation would be her into, but much to her surprise, she made many friends with her upperclassmen peers. They often came to her for advice and homework help.
She graduated Valedictorian at the age of sixteen. She had colleges seeking her out before the end of her junior year but she didn’t want to leave Maggie. Over the five years she had spent with Maggie, they had grown very very close. Spencer adored Maggie and the little routine that they had just naturally fallen into.
Spencer took courses to become an event planner/coordinator. It was something she’d always enjoyed helping with as a kid and teenager so she figured why not. Plus living in the Chicago area, she knew there would never be a shortage of people needing an event coordinator. She was able to get all of the certifications she needed in a little less than a year. At seventeen, she began going to the University of Chicago. She majored in Psychology and minored in Visual Arts.
College for Spencer was amazing. She started dating not long after she started attending University because in high school she felt like it just wasn’t the right time after all of her trauma and hung out with the potheads on campus.
She met a guy named Tanner on her first day of classes. He was her ideal man, or at least what she thought it was. He held doors open for her, brought her flowers, and held her hand around his friends. But not long after they started getting physically involved, he started to feel like he had some entitlement to her. He started to convince her she didn’t need to spend time with her family and more importantly, Maggie. He started keeping her at his apartment as often as he could. And quickly, it turned physically abusive. He started to convince her she wasn’t worth any of the time anyone else but him was giving her.
Spencer was finally able to sneak away and see Maggie for a weekend. She was telling Maggie what had been happening and she watched her get angrier than she had ever seen her, even after telling her everything that had happened with Dan when she was a kid. Maggie drove her back to Tanner’s apartment and helped her collect her things, as well as reporting him to the campus.
Tanner did attempt to contact her after he was expelled from the University but Maggie was quick to help her get a restraining order just in case.
Spencer graduated with her degree at the age of twenty-one and on the dean’s list. Her whole family showed up for her graduation and she was given a bouquet by each of her brothers.
Her parents offered for her to move back in with them, but she politely declined. She wanted to stay with Maggie and help her with whatever she could.
Maggie would bring Spencer to the Malnati when she had bad weeks at school for a small get away, so when she found out they were hiring, she jumped on the opportunity as quickly as she could.
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A Dove’s Ripped Wings: Chapter 2| Scars
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b84dd8ece3ecf2e1e5ef857c86e82124/57da40375026c8ae-bb/s640x960/ae04a9bf59b9d82009461ac31c9cb7bb910e122c.jpg)
prologue / 1 / 2 /
Word Count: 6.3 k
A/N: Cross posted between wattpad and AO3.
🏐🏐THIRD PERSON P.O.V.🏐🏐
"Ibato-san!"
Chiaki looked up from organizing her textbook in surprise as a voice called to. Her soft gaze lands on one of her female classmates who stands near the door.
"The second year senpai from yesterday is here for you again!"
Chiaki's face visibly brightens as she grabs her crutches and lunchbox, making her way to the door. The teen can't help but flash Daichi a smile, ignoring the curious gazes she received from her fellow classmates.
"Hi, here let me help you," Daichi returned her smile with a boyish grin, taking her lunchbox out of her hand to make it easier for her to walk with her crutches.
It doesn't take long for the two to go to their usual place at the back of the school garden, spreading out their lunch. The unlikely friendship between Daichi and Chiaki had bloomed over the last two weeks. The two spent their morning and lunch together, enjoying the others company with mundane conversations. Although Chiaki does admit, Daichi did most of the talking, she only added in some of her thoughts when she deemed it worthy.
Chiaki liked Daichi's presence. He was a gentle male, watching and listening to her silently whenever she did speak. It didn't take her long to realize Daichi reminded her of her eldest brother, Minato a bit. There was something extremely warm and calming about him, and Chiaki subconsciously gravitated towards him. When beside him, she felt at ease, just as she would with family.
And Daichi was respectful. Chiaki sometimes almost wondered if he had some kind of radar in his head that warned him of conversations that could potentially make her uncomfortable. He would skillfully and smoothly change the topic whenever he did realize that she didn't want to talk about it, much to her relief.
Daichi never bought up her past. And Chiaki greatly appreciated it. However, she also noticed that volleyball was a significant part of his school life.
While he did try to avoid the topic of the volleyball with her, it was a bit hard when his life basically revolved around the sport. His closest friends at school were his teammates. He was in the gym practicing or hanging out with his teammates if he wasn't in lectures.
Chiaki couldn't blame him. Instead, she decided she liked it when Daichi spoke about volleyball. A lot of times, the dark-haired male would reveal his struggle with his skills and techniques. In response, Chiaki would gently give him some advice, which he intently listened to, sometimes even noting them down.
One thing that did trouble Chiaki was that Daichi always invites her to visit volleyball practice after school. At this point, she almost felt bad politely declining the invitations because he did it so diligently every single day they had lunch together. Luckily, at the current moment, she had the excuse of having her physical therapy session with her mother after school. While there was no harm in pushing the meeting an hour back, Daichi doesn't have to know that.
And Chiaki was also quick to find out the fastest way for the older boy to drop the specific topic. As long as she says one of her older brothers were picking her up, Daichi would promptly shut up, looking a few shades paler, a shiver running down his back.
While Chiaki did feel a bit bad, it seemed that the twins did their damage when she had failed to stop them from rushing to the door when Daichi picked her up one morning a bit earlier than usual. From what she knows, Taiga and Kouga had given the poor boy a earful of warnings that made Daichi more cautious around her, much to Chiaki's dismay.
"You have chemistry after lunch, right? I don't know how you do it. If it was me, with a full stomach and a hard topic, I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open," Daichi grimaced as he walked beside the teen, matching his walking speed with her.
Chiaki couldn't help but release a small giggle at the face of disgust he made. "I like chemistry, it's not too bad."
At her comment, Daichi's face twisted to horror, looking a bit betrayed and disgusted. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he could, he gets cut off by a hand slamming into his back, a small spluttered choke leaving his mouth.
Chiaki blinks, her lips parting in surprise as her friend gets attacked by a boy with silver hair a few shades darker than her own.
"Daichi, you sly dog! This is where you've been disappearing off to during lunch! Eating with a girl!" The boy exclaims as he continues to slam Daichi's back, the said male wincing at each smack.
"S-Suga! Ouch! Cut it out!" Daichi winces, successfully dodging the last smack before sending Chiaki an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Aki-chan. This is—"
Once again, Daichi is cut off by a body smacking into his side, a head slamming into his right ribs, a pained groan leaving his mouth as he doubles over. "Daichi-san! How could you! Going off to eat with a cute girl, leaving us!" A short male with the small part of his bangs bleached to a dirty blond cries out.
"Yeah, Daichi-San! This is the utmost betrayal you could do!" A tall male with a shaved head joined in, grabbing onto Daichi and shaking him.
Chiaki watched everything unfold in silence. What in the world... Her gaze moved to another male who stood back, looking lost, not knowing what to do with the chaos of Daichi getting bombarded by three people. The man was tall and broad, with his dark hair tied in a bun at the back of his head. He looked tough. However, Chiaki had a feeling he wasn't really that seeing as he looked bewildered, being at a loss what to do. Their eyes briefly meet, and Chiaki was able to detect hesitance and unease in his gaze before he worried turned his attention back to his friends.
But it seems like neither Chiaki nor the man has to do anything as Daichi stopped everyone with an angry, "hey!"
All three males that flocked around him froze, a look of nervousness appearing in their eyes as a disheveled Daichi glared at them. Before the dark-haired male opens his mouth to begin scolding them, they squeak out a quick, "sorry!" shuffling back, placing a reasonable distance away from the annoyed male.
Daichi pinched the bridge of his nose, briefly closing his eyes. The tall man with the tied hair stepped forward, eyeing Daichi with concern, "you okay there, Daichi?" He asked, checking up at the male who looked suddenly exhausted.
Daichi waved him off with a hand before reopening his eyes, looking at Chiaki with a frown. His gaze softened on her, a penitent look on his face for a brief moment.
"Sorry about that, Aki-chan," Daichi is quick to apologize, sending a stink eye at his friends. "My uh, friends can get a bit rowdy, but I swear they're not bad people."
Chiaki can't help the small smile that makes it onto her face as Daichi defends his friends. "It's okay, Daichi-senpai, these must be your teammates you talked about," she assures, glancing at the males that crowd around her.
Hearing the silver-haired girl's words, the boys all perked up, their eyes shining brightly as they looked at Daichi before moving their gaze back at her.
The grey-haired boy blinked in awe while the two other boys beside him froze, staring at Chiaki with their mouth parted in wonder. "Wow! Now getting a closer look at her, she is really pretty!" He comments, a wide grin spreading across his face.
At his words, Daichi narrows his eyes to his friend in warning before deciding to introduce her to them. "This is Ibato Chiaki-chan, a first-year, in class five. Aki-chan, the guy with grey hair, is Sugawara Koushi, and the big guy who looks terrified behind him is Azumane Asahi. They're both second years with me."
Chiaki nods in understanding, quickly observing the two males and inputting their name and appearance into her mind. After a moment, she looked at Sugawara with a small smile spreading on her face. This makes the said male blush, not knowing how to exactly react.
"We match."
Sugawara's mouth parted in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing. Chiaki was able to read his reaction, a small giggle escaping her lips. Balancing herself on her crutches, she pointed to the little beauty mark under her right eye. This makes Sugawara raise his own hand to touch his own beauty mark under his left eye.
"Also, our hair."
Realizing what Chiaki was pointing out, Sugawara's cheeks flushed for unknown reasons, becoming flustered. He looked away from Chiaki, his hand coming up to cover his lower face, refusing to meet her eyes.
Daichi coughed once, bringing attention to himself as he pointed his thumb back at the two other males who were uncharacteristically being quiet. "Aki-chan, those two, Tanaka and Nishinoya are also first-years, so they're the same age as you."
Chiaki follows her friend's gaze to see him eyeing the two frozen teens. From her past conversation with Daichi, she was quick to decide that the smaller male was Nishinoya seeing as he had mentioned him being the libero a handful of times. Which left the male with a buzz cut to be Tanaka.
"Wait, Daichi. You said her name was Ibato Chiaki, right...?" Asahi questioned hesitantly. With his words, Sugawara, who was flustered just a moment ago, reacts, a look of surprise and recognition flashing in his grey eyes.
This makes Chiaki nearly flinch, quickly realizing that the two second years probably figured out who she was. Their reaction makes her want to curl her body in, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Thankfully, it seems like her fellow first years are clueless, still blatantly staring at her in awe.
"Hey, Noya-San, don't you think if Kiyoko-san is a cold beauty, Chiaki-san is a warm beauty?" Tanaka whispered quietly to Nishinoya, who stared at Chiaki. The said male nodded with the agreement without moving his gaze that shined with wonder.
"You're the rumored beauty that finally showed up after summer break!" Nishinoya gasps in realization as he points his finger at the female who nearly flinched at the loudness of his voice.
Daichi moved to scold the short male. However, he stops as he notices Chiaki and Nishinoya stare at each other, a puzzled look appearing in their gaze as they simultaneously tilt their heads like a confused puppy.
After a moment, Chiaki nods to herself, realizing why she had recognized the male in front of her. "Oh. You're the one who got the best libero award last year," she offhandedly comments, making Nishinoya beam at her.
"And you're the captain of the girls' team who won in first place last year. Didn't 'cha also get the best server award too? Almost didn't recognize you with your hair dyed," Nishinoya comments brightly, seeming to be proud that he was able to remember who she was. However, a look of confusion appeared on his face as he rubbed at his chin. "But what are you doing here in Karasuno? I had expected someone at your level would go to some prestigious school like Shiratorizawa."
His words make Chiaki freeze, her body growing rigid. This doesn't get unnoticed by the second-years, Sugawara's hand shooting out to smack the back of Nishinoya's head quickly.
Chiaki forces herself to give the boys a weak smile. She turns her head to Daichi, slowly reaching forwards and taking her empty bento bag from the male's hand. "Thank you, Daichi-senpai. I'll head to the restroom before heading to class. I'll see you tomorrow."
While a small part of Daichi wants to argue, worried for his new friend, he doesn't push her. In response, he nods with a smile, muttering a quiet goodbye and watching her hobble off down the hallway.
When he could no longer see her anymore, he swiftly turned around, glaring at the boy who rubbed his head where Sugawara had hit him. "Nishinoya!"
The said boy flinches, looking at his upperclassmen in fear and confusion.
Sugawara shakes his head, his finger pressing into his temple. "You're an idiot, Nishinoya."
Nishinoya releases a yelp as he dodges a smack from Sugawara, "what did I do?!" The libero cries out.
Daichi sighs as he crosses his arm over his chest with a frown spread across his face. "You may have not meant it, but your words hurt Aki-chan, Nishinoya. Volleyball is a really sensitive topic for her."
The dark-haired male's answer makes both Nishinoya and Tanaka tilt their heads, an unmistakable question mark floating on top of their heads. This action only makes an irk mark appear on Daichi's face.
Asahi immediately steps in, a weak laugh leaving his lips, "maa maa. Let's calm down. We can't blame them, not everyone was up to date with the volleyball gossip. I'm not surprised that Tanaka and Nishinoya don't know about it."
"Gossip?"
Sugawara stepped forward, a small frown on his face. "It was on the news for a bit earlier in the year. The incident where a middle school student was run over by a motorcycle that was aiming for her team. Between those who played volleyball, it was called the 'war in heaven' or 'the dove hunt' incident."
Nishinoya and Tanaka quickly pursed their lips, finally having a reasonably good idea of who the injured middle school student was, the image of the female in crutches flashing in their mind.
A scowl made it onto Tanaka's face, his eyebrows knitting together, "what kind of stupid names are those anyways? It's extremely chuunibyou-ish (1)"
Sugawara pouted as the younger male blatantly made fun of the names. "There are different reasons, but Ibato Chiaki-san had various nicknames as a volleyball player. The two most well know where the Angel or the Dove. I'm sure hearing just that, you understand the reasoning as to why the incident was called 'the dove hunt.'"
Both Tanaka and Nishinoya nodded, getting the basic idea. "But what about the other name?" Tanaka questioned in curiosity, the group walking down the hallway, Daichi stopping at the vending machine.
The dark-haired male rolled his eyes as he picked out his drink, angering stabbing his straw into his milk. "It's ridiculous, really. I don't know if you're familiar with Christianity, but someone linked the incident with the religion and whatnot, saying Aki-chan was an angel that had her wings ripped from her. In my opinion, the incident is nothing like the mythology. Like Tanaka said, it really is chuunibyou-ish." Daichi's hand crushed the empty milk carton, his gaze moving to the two boys in a warning. "Either way, if I hear that you two cause any trouble to Aki-Chan..." The male doesn't even have to finish his words as the two boys straighten as they salute to their senpai in fear.
A silence falls over all of them until Nishinoya opens his mouth.
"Well, if she's a fallen angel, shouldn't her new nickname be the 'Devil?'" The libero cheekily comments, earning a smack from both Sugawara and Daichi, who scowled.
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🏐🏐2011, SEPTEMBER🏐🏐
With a heaving chest and drenched shirt, Chiaki laid on the ground, pressing her heated cheek into the cold floor with a groan. The silver-haired female doesn't dare to move a single muscle, her body crying out in strain.
Besides the female, Kouga worriedly fanned his younger sister's body with his hand. Taiga, his older twin brother, went to get her a cold bottle of water.
"Good job, Chi-chan. Today marks the sixth month since your surgery. You're done for today. It looks like you're slowly gaining back function and muscles, which I am very proud about," Minako, who was jolting down her daughter's progress on a clipboard looked up briefly with a smile. "Starting tomorrow, I think we can forgo the crutches. But you're going to have to wear your knee brace all the time except when you take a shower and when you sleep. Just for precaution."
This information makes a smile bloom on the silver-haired teen's face. Mentally she cheers, saying goodbye to the dreadful crutches that have been haunting her for months.
"I don't want to be a killjoy, but don't strain yourself, Chi-chan. While you're mostly healed, I don't want you risking yourself. I say another five months have to pass for me to say you're perfectly healed from your injuries, and there's no worries. And physical therapy is still a must! Don't go running off, although I'm sure you want to," Minako warns, narrowing her eyes at her daughter when she sees Chiaki sheepishly look away from her.
With that, the older woman excused herself, having to go input Chiaki's data into the computer system, leaving her children to go to her office.
With the help of her brother, Chiaki sits up, leaning against Kouga as the male turns the TV on. At that moment, Taiga returns, the glassed male handing the bottle to Chiaki and ruffling her head affectionately.
"Ah, it looks like Shiratorizawa won for Miyagi prefecture again this year," Kouga comments as he runs his hand through his dyed locks of hair.
This makes Taiga chuckle, his eyes narrowing fondly as he watched the local news speak about the ranking of the school. "Coach Washijou must be delighted. That old man still sometimes appears in my nightmare, yelling at me," the brunet shakes his head with a frown.
Neither of the males seems to realize their younger sister had stayed unusually silent. Her grey orbs refusing to look at the TV where the Shiratorizawa team and its cheer squad is televised.
When Chiaki climbs up to her feet, the twins finally realize what they did, their skin paling a few shades. Kouga's lips stretched into a line, his teeth biting into the bottom flesh to stop himself from calling out after Chiaki, who walked off.
"Shit," Kouga curses under his breath, closing his eyes and angrily running his hand through his hair, messing it up.
Taiga has a similar reaction, the male pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a frown on his handsome face. "That was insensitive and stupid of us. We should have known it'll upset Chiaki talking about her dream school," the man mumbled in regret.
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Chiaki stood under the sharp needles of the shower head water, her skin turning red from heat and irritation. The water pours over her head on high, beating and dripping down her body in steamy rivulets. Like the room, her mind is fogged up, dullness spreading through her body.
Closing her eyes, she sinks down to the floor. The tiles are icy cold, yet she doesn't flinch, too numb to feel anything. Opening her grey eyes, she stares as the enormous pink scar tissue that goes up the length of her knee. While no longer angry red and inflamed like it was right after the surgery, it was still unpleasant to see, a painful reminder of what had happened to her.
Chiaki's trembling fingers traced the scar in loath. An equally large, if not more prominent scar ran down her right hip and upper thigh. That too was healing nicely, the yellow and purple bruising that went down her whole leg from the reconstruction surgery gone for over four months. However, it felt like it was still there, the image of the bruises blooming around the scar imprinted into her mind. Just looking at what remained reminded her of how hideous it looked.
Hideous.
The teen lets tears slip out of her eyes, the salty droplets quickly getting washed off by the water from the shower, going down the drain built on the floor. All proofs of her pain and anger gets washed away. And that only makes the anger inside Chiaki's body to rise, boiling from deep inside of her.
In just a second, it felt like her whole life was stolen away from her. Her dream slipped through her fingers so quickly, and easily, Chiaki didn't know what to do. What can she do now when volleyball wasn't part of her life? What else did she have left? What worth did she have left?
From a young age, her goal was to get into her dream school, Shiratorizawa, graduate, and get into a division one team. She dreamed about going to the Olympics just like how her father had. She had always believed that her adult life would revolve around volleyball, the sports she loved. It was something that was right in front of her. It was something that was promised to her at a young age because of the efforts she made. It was something everyone around her believed would happen.
Yet with the accident, everything that was set up for her had crumpled. The hours of practice, the tears and sweat that was poured, the stinging aches of her hand from practicing spikes, everything was wasted and went down the drain.
In just a measly second.
Chiaki had lost everything she built from plain hard work and dedication. But now she was lost.
And it hurt.
It hurt so fucking bad, she didn't know what to do anymore.
Chiaki finally climbed back up to her shaky legs, shutting the scorching hot water off. Her skin was red, but she paid no mind, wrapping her body in a towel, doing a horrific job of drying herself off and changing into clothes that were free from sweat.
What Chiaki wasn't expecting when she steps out of the locker room was to see her mother leaned against the wall, a cup of coffee in her hand. The older woman stares at her daughter, taking note of her eyes that are rimmed red. She doesn't comment on it. Instead, she just sips out of her cup.
"I told the boys to head home ahead of us. You'll be coming home with me. But before that, Chi-chan, you're gonna learn about basic first-aid."
Chiaki's eyebrows furrowed, not understanding what her mother was trying to do. "I don't think—"
"Chi-chan, you're lost right now, aren't you? The future you had planned isn't something you can achieve anymore, so now you don't know what to do."
Minako's words make the silver-haired girl freeze, shifting on her feet uncomfortably. Minako may have looked soft and gentle, being shorter than her own daughter. But she was blunt to the point where it hurts, often leaving people whiplashed by the gap between her appearance and personality. Chiaki knew her mother didn't mean any harm. Although there's no denying Minako's words was a knife straight to her heart.
Minako released a sigh as she pushed off the wall. "I understand you're still in pain and denial. But there's no point moping around. You should start looking at other things. It doesn't have to be medicine, I just want you looking at options, find something you might be interested in. The basic first-aid certificate is easy, and it can lead up to other opportunities. Your brothers all have it as well. And it's a skill that comes in handy for anyone."
Chiaki doesn't exactly want to. However, seeing the look her mother sends her, she can do nothing but to nod.
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🏐🏐2012, MARCH 🏐🏐
"We look ridiculous," Kouga comments, pulling the onyx face mask he wears higher onto his face. At his words, Chiaki turns to her brother, letting her gaze wander over what he wears.
The female adjusts the white cap that covers her head, pulling down on the visor, "I think you look fine. Very fashionable," she comments, her voice a bit muffled by the cloth of the mask that covers her face.
Kouga rolls his eyes before moving his attention to his twin brother, who was the only one out of them, not wearing a face mask. Instead, Taiga wore a bucket hat that covered most of his brown hair, forgoing his usual black-rimmed glasses with contacts.
"You look fine, Kouga. A lot of people wear face masks during this season anyways," Taiga assured as he held hands with Chiaki. Kouga huffed and took hold of Chiaki's other arm, linking arms with her as the three walked through the crowded stadium.
There was a light skip to Chiaki's steps, the female smiling under her mask. Her girls had done an excellent job, collecting their victories against their opponents. Chiaki could feel her heart swell in pride, especially when she was able to see Misaki do her role as the libero, supporting the team as it's pillar just as Chiaki assumed she would.
She lets her older brothers lead her to the next court scheduled for the last Kitagawa Daiichi game, the three siblings picking a seat at the back of the observation stand where they would be away from curious eyes. Although Chiaki had a feeling that they were failing at it miserably seeing the curious looks they received from some middle schoolers.
She couldn't really blame them, seeing as her brother and her towered over most of them. She had even caught some girls whispering and giggling as they looked at the twins. Chiaki didn't mind as long as she and her brothers weren't noticed by Kitagawa Daiichi middle school, her former school.
Earlier that morning, when Chiaki had told her brothers she wanted them to drive her to the stadium so she could watch the middle school volleyball tournament, they were shocked. They had doubted their ears for a moment, actually asking her to repeat her request again. When they realized they heard her right the first time, they were stumbling, running around the house to get ready to go with her.
Chiaki could tell they were delighted, which actually made her chest twinge, a small ounce of her feeling awful because she knew she had been worrying her family. The twins, on the other hand, were delighted that Chiaki wanted to do something related to volleyball again. Ever since the accident, Chiaki had refused to talk about the sport, and it was the first time she had even talked about something related to it.
So neither males complained as they drove their baby sister to the stadium, the two twenty-one-year-old adults wrapped around the sixteen-year old's finger.
"Who are the boys against next?" Kouga asked as he placed his feet up on the empty seat in front of him, relaxing with his arms thrown up behind his head and stretching out like a cat.
Taiga opened the pamphlet he grabbed when they first walked in, "Yukigaoka Junior High. I've never heard of them before," the brunet comments, pulling his hat a bit up to glance at his sister.
Chiaki hums with her eyes on the court, where it was still empty. "I know the girls' team. But for the boys, I don't think they participated during the time I was in middle school," the silver-haired teen comments, playing with a piece of her dyed hair. Her eyes brighten, sitting up as she sees a group walk in onto the court, her eyes catching sight of her former kouhais.
When she sees Kageyama walks in at the end of the group, she can't help but feel her heart swell. While she can't see well from her position, the raven-haired boy looked taller than the last time she saw him. While Chiaki did think she had a good relationship with everyone in the boys' volleyball team, she admits she had a particular soft spot for Kageyama.
She had often stayed after practice to meet up with the boy, helping him with his volleyball skills. She often spiked the balls he tossed, giving him advice on how to improve them and make them faster and more efficient. If she recalled correctly, that had angered Oikawa greatly, the male leaving snarky comments of how prodigies like them stuck together. Which led to Iwaizumi smacking his best friend, calling him 'Kusokawa.'
After a bit, with both teams on the court, the game begins. And it doesn't take long for everyone watching to see it was almost a one-sided match.
"Yikes, I feel bad just watching. The opponent team barely has the experience, huh?" Kouga winces as the Yukigaoka team misses another point.
Taiga silently watches the game while Chiaki also releases a sound as she sucks in a breath. The female can't deny it is almost painful to watch, her heart going out to the opponent team. At the same time, she eyed the Kita-Ichi team in concern, feeling something off.
"There's some kind of tension between the team for Kita-Ichi as well. Or I should say, more so with the team and Tobio-kun," Taiga finally speaks, his eyes narrowing. Hearing her older brother verbally say it, it confirmed what Chiaki was thinking.
Kouga sits up in surprise, squinting his eyes to see what his twin was talking about. But he's quick to give up, knowing both his siblings were more observant than what he was. The silver-haired male almost seemed to lose interest in the game, only watching it with a lazy eye seeing the results already. However, the Ibato siblings all sat up in surprise as one of the boys, an orange-haired male from Yukigaoka, leaped into the air.
"Holy shi—that shrimp has some pairs of legs, although he's short!" Kouga gasps, straightening up to get a better glimpse.
Chiaki bit her lip, her finger tapping against her knee as she watched the said boy leap once more. "His reflex speed is super high as well..."
At her words, the twins turn their heads towards her. They're a bit taken aback, not expecting her to leave input, seeing as she was mostly quiet when watching volleyball games.
"That kid, the boy with orange hair. With proper training that utilizes the talents and skill he has, he would have extreme potential. It's kinda scary," Chiaki comments with a frown, a chill running down her back. She blinks in surprise. What was that?
The twins stared at their baby sister in alarm, letting her words sink into their heads. Their gaze shifted back to the court, eyeing the boy she was talking about with narrowed eyes.
If Chiaki said it, they believed it. The brothers and the whole Ibato family knew that their youngest family member had a keen skill of finding the hidden potential in people. Sometimes it was so scary accurate.
In the past, on multiple occasions, Chiaki had just looked at a group of amateur volleyball players and pointed out a few saying they would grow strong. And much to Hiroto, their father's astonishment, they indeed had, many of them climbing up and becoming part of his current team at Schweiden Adler.
To this day, the twins know their father sometimes asks Chiaki for her option when he's recruiting new players for the season.
"I'm going to the restroom before we leave," Chiaki quietly tugged at Taiga's sweater sleeve as the game concluded, Kitagawa Daiichi becoming the winner with 2:0.
The older male looked at her in concern, "want me coming with you?"
Chiaki shakes her head, "it'll be crowded. Wait here with Kouga-nii," she softly speaks before walking off to the nearest restroom. With her hat tugged down, she walked the crowded area, many teams leaving for the day after their games.
A small gasp leaves her mouth as a body hits her from behind, making her lose her balance and fall forward. Her hands and arms instinctively come up to soften her fall. However, before she can land onto the floor, a pair of arms catch her, her face slamming into a warm chest. At the impact, Chiaki's nose smashes into the chest, tears gather at the corner of her eyes with pain.
"Wow, are you okay?"
Chiaki freezes at the familiar voice. She can't help but look up, her gaze meeting with a pair of soft brown eyes. Behind the said man, she recognizes two more faces looking at her in curiosity.
Daichi's lips part in surprise as a pair of droopy grey eyes look at him. Confusion flashed in his eyes, and Chiaki is quick to duck her head down, using the cap she wore to hide her eyes, silently hoping that her face mask hid her features enough.
Mumbling a sorry, she tries to slip away. However, before she can even take a step, her wrist gets engulfed by a giant hand, preventing her from walking away. Daichi has a firm grip on her, staring at her covered face with his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Aki-chan?"
Before Chiaki could deny it, Daichi reaches forward, swiftly tugging down the black face mask to her chin, revealing her face to his eyes. Chiaki sheepishly smiles as Daichi's eyes brighten, seeming to be pleased he was right.
Chiaki lifts the mask up quickly to hide her lower face again, giving up on leaving without a conversation.
"Huh? Aki-san is here too?" Tanaka gasps, his cheeks turning a rosy pink as he stands next to Daichi. Chiaki briefly gives both Sugawara and Tanaka a nod of greeting, the boys being able to see her eyes squint slightly telling them she was smiling.
The silver-haired female's gaze warily looks around the room, thankful that she didn't see any other familiar faces before turning to Daichi, who looked like he was itching to ask the question.
But it seemed Sugawara beat him to it, the grey-haired male smiling as he stood next to his classmate. "What are you doing here, Aki-chan?"
Chiaki turned to the male she had gotten to know over the last three months. After finding out that she and Daichi often ate lunch together, Sugawara also began to join in. Asahi had too, but in the last few weeks, he hadn't showed up, and Chiaki had a feeling something had happened between them all.
"I'm here with my brothers. I was about to head to the restroom before we head off," Chiaki quickly explains, her voice only a few volumes above a whisper, the three boys only being able to hear her because of how close she was standing to them.
Daichi raised an eyebrow up, sending a look to Chiaki that made her palms a bit sweaty. Chiaki had gotten to know Daichi reasonably well in the last six months. But that was the same for Daichi, he's gotten good at reading the younger girl. And he knew well that if volleyball was related, Chiaki ran away faster than you could say stop.
"You, Aki-chan, came to watch a volleyball game, huh?" Daichi questioned, grinning and showing off his teeth cheekily, much to Chiaki's dismay. The said girl kept her lips pursed as she refused to meet his amused eyes.
Sugawara and Daichi share eye contact with each other, both males grinning. Feeling a bit mischievous, Daichi patted the girl's head. "Yet, you refuse to come to watch us practice, Aki-chan. Are we not good enough for you?"
Chiaki pouts under her mask, but she still refuses to say anything.
"Hey, don't tease her too much, Daichi. Aki-chan loves volleyball, but she doesn't want to admit it because she's shy," Sugawara coos, making Chiaki send him a glare. Sugawara only laughs in response, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
Chiaki doesn't know how to answer, she feels a bit attacked at the moment as her two senpais tease her. She's getting a bit defensive, not liking how they were both able to read her. While Chiaki kept denying her love for the sport, these two seemed to know that wasn't the truth. And instead of tiptoeing around the topic of volleyball like they had when they first met, they've learned that little jabs didn't do too much harm.
With a puff, Chiaki turns to the males, her eyes narrowing. However, a mischievous glint flashes in her soft grey eyes as she thinks of something. "I need to go. I'm making my brothers wait right now, and they might worry if I'm gone for long. Of course, we can keep talking if you want them to come looking for me."
Daichi stiffens, his back straightening subconsciously as he finally lets her go. Inwardly, Chiaki laughs at the second-year's reaction and spin on her heel. But before she can leave, she turns back, the corner of her eyes crinkling as she smiles.
"See you guys at school," Chiaki waves sweetly, leaving one nervous male and two confused boys.
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🏐🏐EXTRA🏐🏐
CANON
"Daichi-san, you're kinda pale. Are you okay?" Tanaka questioned, holding back his laugh, his shoulders shaking a bit. Sugawara doesn't bother holding it in, laughing with his whole body as he points to his friend.
Daichi scowls, his shoulder dropping as he ushers his teammates away from the scene with a light blush on his cheeks as they continued to tease him about him being scared of Chiaki's brothers.
"You don't understand," Daichi grumbled as he stopped walking, Sugawara and Tanaka pausing behind him in confusion, almost slamming into his broad back.
The two males flinch as Daichi slowly turns around, his face blank, his eyes looking dead as he stares at them.
"Imagine getting towered and cornered by two older guys who are over 190 cm (6'3 ft) as they mutter warnings to you for ten minutes. Warnings and promises that are extremely graphic if I do something to their little sister..." Daichi's voice was dead as he stared off to space.
Sugawara and Tanaka felt a shiver run down their back, suddenly feeling a chill. Flinching, they looked back as if someone was staring at them. They worriedly glanced at each other as they saw no one else on the street but them.
"Let's go home...." Sugawara whispered, grabbing Daichi's arm, the male mumbled something inaudible to their ears. Tanaka nods his head quickly before following after his senpais.
Silently, the two of them agreed that they didn't want to meet Chiaki's rumored older brothers anytime soon.
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"ACHOO!" Chiaki flinches as both Kouga and Taiga simultaneously sneezed at the same time.
Taiga frowned as he rubbed his nose, his hands on the steering wheel of the car. "Oh, that was sudden," he mutters, making sure his eyes didn't move away from the road.
Kouga scowled and shook his head, "I swear, someone was talking about us," the silver-haired male grumbled much to Chiaki's amusement.
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Terms:
Chūnibyō (中二病) is a Japanese colloquial term that translates to "middle two diseases," i.e., "middle-school second-year syndrome" or "eighth-grader syndrome," typically used to describe early teens who have delusions of grandeur, who so desperately want to stand out that they have convinced themselves they have hidden knowledge or secret powers. Creating crazy names and stuff included.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8ba3c5d3458c6614113b0c43c1c90340/57da40375026c8ae-2c/s540x810/82b897ea739770ae06ac5d960392e9d8268c9377.jpg)
A/N:
Okay, first I know the timeline and months of the competition are all out of whack. I actually couldn't really work with it so I decided to change it around for the storyline. The Junior High athletics where Hinata and Kageyama meet for the first time should have taken place in June but I just made it near the end of March. So in this book, it happens after the 68th Miyagi Prefecture Championships. So Daichi, Sugawara, and Tanaka are at the Junior High Athletics Meet after loosing and the fight between Nishinoya and Asahi had already happened, which is the reason why those two were absent when the three boys met with Chiaki.
Also, Chiaki's nickname the Dove comes from her last name, Ibato. In Japanese Kanji, it'll be 衣鳩 the second kanji is "hato" which is a pigeon/dove! Hence her nickname the Dove. However, Ibato is not a very common Japanese last name.
Thanks for reading and the next update, Chapter 3| Does He Know? is in two weeks, on August 21st!
We're entering the story line of the anime/manga so be ready to see our favorite cute first years!!
-Ember
>>Next>>
>>
8/7/2020
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#HQ!!#hq#haikyuu ff#haikyuu fanfic#Haikyuu OC#karasuno#nekoma#shiratorizawa#aoba jousai#inarizaki#itachiyama#anime#manga#anime ff#anime fanfic#manga ff#manga fanfic#A dove's ripped wings#ADRW#Ibato Chiaki#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#yachi hitoka#tanaka ryunosuke#nishinoya yu#ennoshita chikara
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Riverdale: Deadly Definitions 6
Here we go again, I hope you guys are enjoying this series. Let me know if you want to be tagged. Feedback is always appreciated. @l4life
Find the other parts here: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
The next morning Betty came over to apologize to Archie. The two of them walked to school together and were good again. Veronica had decided to call a truce with Cheryl and was also befriending Josie. Jughead had continued to piece clues together about what really happened the night of Jason’s murder.
That day during Lunch, you and Archie decided that you would work on music before school starting the next day. You were both excited and nervous. You 100% would do anything to help Archie no questions asked. But it was undeniably nerve racking for you to share something like this with anyone.
After school, you went to Andrew’s construction and Mr. Andrews explained in better detail what he needed done. You spent the majority of the time just trying to organize everything. Occasionally you would answer the phone, it was all easy enough. Afterwards you had him drop you off at Pop’s where you ran into Jughead.
“Hey, whatcha up to?” you ask.
“Just trying to figure out what Jason was running from”
“I mean if you were a child of the Blossoms, wouldn’t you want to run away too?” you joked.
“Yeah, but why now? What happened to make him choose now to get away?”
“Maybe he wasn’t running away as much as he was running to something” you ponder.
“Maybe. Oh well, I’m done for tonight.” he said as he closed his laptop, “How was your day?”
“Pretty good. How are you and Betty doing?” you wink.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you two look at each other. And how you too have started doing your own investigations.”
“We are just friends.” he answered.
“For now” you replied.
“In that case, what’s going on between you and Archie?” he asked.
“Nothing, I’m just helping him with his music”
“Sure. But just remember what happened between him and his last music tutor” Jug laughed.
“That is so not funny” you chime in smacking his arm.
“I’m just saying.”
“I think he likes Veronica anyways” you reply bringing the conversation back down.
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
When you snuck back into the school (which is where you have been staying since the Drive-In was shut down), it was around 3 am. You went straight for the music room. As earlier stated, this was both exciting and nerve-racking. You loved music, but you had never performed in front of any of your friends before. So, you sat at the Piano and warmed up with some showtunes. Eventually, you pulled out your songbook, it had been a while since you sat down and just wrote music. You were running through a song that you had written, when you were interrupted.
“Wow, how did I not know that you were this good?” Archie asked.
You were so confused. What was Archie doing here in the middle of the night? But then you looked down at your phone. It was 7:15.
“I was just screwing around. Anyways, I’m going to grab us waters. I’ll be back in a minute.” you answer.
“Okay, I’ll get warmed up,” he smiled as he set his guitar down.
You quickly made your way to the closet where you were staying. You fixed your hair, changed shirts, grabbed some gum, and the two waters before heading back to the music room.
“Sorry that took so long, the vending machine didn’t want to take my money,” you said as you reentered the room, “so Archie, what exactly are you wanting to get out of these sessions?”
“I don’t exactly know. I’d like help taking my lyrics and turning them into actual songs. So I guess I just need feedback, and suggestions.”
“That works for me, let’s hear what you’ve been working on lately.” you smiled.
So then Archie began to play. You just listened, he had an amazing voice and was already so good on guitar. As he finished his first song you were in awe. It was so refreshing to hear someone sing about something that mattered.
“Well, what did you think?” he asked shyly as he set down the guitar.
“It was amazing Arch, it needs to be polished and there are a few lyrics that are off rhythm, but it is so good. You really have a talent for this”
“You really think so?” he asked
“Yes I do. Now do me a favor and sing it again but without the guitar” you say as you hope on the piano. You then proceeded to break down the entire song, and then you played/sang it back to Archie. This allowed him to hear first hand which parts sounded slightly awkward. You started writing down his lyrics and bouncing ideas off each other. Before you knew it, the ten minute warning bell for first period sounded.
“Wow, I can’t believe it’s already time for class. This was amazing Y/n, thank you so much” he said as he stashed his guitar away.
“It’s no problem Archie, I’m glad I can help”
And this was your life now. You spent your mornings with Archie working on his music. You went to school like a normal student. And then you walked to Andrews’ Construction. After organizing all of the paperwork you started working on a promotions campaign. You redesigned the business cards, created a free website and uploaded a portfolio of the various jobs they had completed. You answered the phones and helped Mr. Andrews create pitches that were customized to target the specific jobs. You also organized the work schedule and did anything else that Mr. Andrews needed help with. For him, you were nothing less than a godsend. You had already got them two bids and it had only been a week.
You were at lunch with your friends when Cheryl approached you. “Here. My mother has decided that you are all invited to JayJay’s memorial. Even you losers.” she said towards you and Jughead.
“I get that she is mourning her brother, but does she have to be such a bitch” Veronica said under her breath.
“Agreed” Betty chimed in.
“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to have to buy something to wear to Thornhill.” you directed to the two of them, “you guys want to go shopping tomorrow?”
“I can’t. My mother is still mad about the whole Archie thing” Betty answered.
“Veronica?”
“You know I’m always down for retail therapy.” she smiled.
So the next day you both went to the mall before you went to work. This was the first time that the two of you were hanging out alone.
“I bet that you saw malls in New York that make this mall look like a dollar store,” you commented.
“That is very true” she laughed.
“So I’m guessing that it is safe to say that you miss it?” you ask as you look through the dresses.
“Parts of it. I miss being a family and I’m not gonna lie the luxury of it all was grand. But I don’t know the people here, while simple, are real. It wasn’t like that in New York” she reminisced.
“What do you think of this one?” you asked holding up a black t-shirt dress.
“It’s okay, but why don’t you try this one on,” she replied, holding up a simple but beautiful black dress. You grabbed it and held it up in front of you. It was perfect. But then you ventured to the price tag.
“It’s great Veronica, but I can’t afford it.” you reply putting it back on the rack.
“Nonsense, it’s my treat. I insist.” she said, “Now go try it on”
As you had learned, you never argue with a Lodge. There is no point, you won’t win. “Are you sure?” you ask.
“Yes, it’s the least I can do after you have extended your friendship to me” she chimed, all but pushing you in the fitting room.
You tried on the dress and were in love. “What do you think?” you asked as you showed Veronica.
“You look amazing. I have done it once again” she laughed.
Next, she forced you to find a pair of heels. Her argument was that it would be a crime to wear such a nice dress with average shoes. On the way up to the cash register Veronica had grabbed some other small things. She placed all of it on the counter and pulled out a card.
“Seriously Veronica, you didn’t have to do that” you said as you got into the car.
“It’s fine Y/n, just consider it an early Birthday present.”
“My birthday isn’t until next month” you laugh, “Seriously though, I owe you one. If there is ever anything you need let me know.”
“Okay, and now moving on. What is between you and Archie?” she asked.
“Nothing, we are just good friends who are working on music together.” you answer.
“Sure. The same way that Betty and Jughead are just friends.”
“I’m serious Veronica, and even if I did have feelings for him, I’m pretty sure he likes someone else.” you add.
“Really? Who?” she asked intrigued.
“I’ll give you a hint. She is new in town.”
“No way. There is no way Archie Andrews has a thing for me.” she said in disbelief.
“He hasn’t explicitly told me so, but still it’s kinda obvious.” you say as the car slows to a stop.
“Do you want me to drop off your bags somewhere?” she asked realizing that she still had no idea where you lived.
“No, I’ll hold on to them. Thanks again Ronnie.”
That night you went to the school and showered. You tried on your dress again, this time with the shoes. You looked through the other bag, Veronica had also bought you a necklace and earrings along with simple make-up palettes and perfume. She was good, you hadn’t even seen her grab half of this stuff and you were right next to her.
The next day you accompanied Mr. Andrews and Archie to the Memorial Service. Archie had decided to give Mrs. Blossom Jason’s old jersey. She was almost in tears over it. Everyone sat down as it was ready to begin. Before Penelope could begin speaking, Cheryl burst in wearing the white outfit she had worn the last time she was Jason. She gave a speech about how she missed him and failed him and then was dragged off by her mother.
And from there things were only going to get worse.
#riverdale#riverdale imagine#riverdale imagines#riverdale x reader#riverdalexreader#archie andrews#archie andrews imagines#archie andrews imagine#archie andrews x reader#archie andrews series#archie imagines#archie imagine#archie#archie x reader#archiexreader#veronica lodge#veronica lodge imagines#veronica lodge imagine#veronica#veronica imagine#jughead imagine#jughead imagines#jughead jones imagine#jughead jones imagines#riverdale jughead#jughead#betty cooper#betty cooper imagine#betty cooper imagines
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what’s poppeeeeeenguh AURGH ! this was meant to be posted a century and a half ago , but due to some ... unforseen ( read : i was given a edible by thou who shalt.. not.. be named ? clearly i skipped all of my shakespeare english classes ) circumstances , it was delayed . but i’m here now to deliver u this steaming pile of degenerate fratboy douchebag on this fine saturday morning ( shoutout to chloe in australia idk what month ur in much less what time of day it is so bear with me SKJFJKD ) .
⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that ROMAN PIERCE is ensuring PI KAPPA EPSILON gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HIM ? ROME is the GREGG SULKIN look alike from ATLANTA , GEORGIA. apart of PC ‘16 , he is majoring in PSYCHOLOGY and has plans to PURSUE A CAREER IN THE NFL after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their ADEPT & MAGNETIC attributes make them perfect matches . however , their IMPETUOUS & SALACIOUS attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to MOUNT EVEREST - LABRINTH at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE PIKE HOUSE. cheers to another wild semester !
i.
𝖓𝖆𝖒𝖊 : roman gabriel pierce
𝖆𝖌𝖊 : twenty - one
𝖉𝖔𝖇 : june 15th , 1998
𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗 / 𝖕����𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖘 : he / him
𝖘𝖊𝖝𝖚𝖆𝖑 & 𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : bisexual , but definitely more on the low low . he’s only ever been seen publicly with girls .
𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙: 6‘1″ 🤡
𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊: having graduated from the title of white man’s wh*re , he is now cordially referred to as the white man’s beefcake . he treats gym sessions like a therapy visit , clocking in at a friendly 200 lbs . like all gym rats w/o a personality , he keeps his hair short on the sides n longer on top , a la this look . he has a scar running along the inside of his right arm from when he broke it , and another that splits his left eyebrow from his eighteenth birthday
𝖔𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 : resident waste of space , quarterback for the hollingsworth mumbles , least favorite son of the year recipient 1998 - 2019 .
𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖔𝖜𝖓 : atlanta , georgia .
ii.
second son of hall of fame ex falcons qb , miles pierce , and entrepreneur and daughter of a famed manhattan - based art collector , amélie pierce -- rome’s future was pretty non - negotiable since day one . as soon as they could stumble around enough to pass for walking , miles had his sons enrolled in as many football programs as he legally could .
when rome was young , he loved it . the attention , the praise he received for his quickness despite being one of the smallest kids on the field . plus , going to his father’s games and being recognized as miles pierce’s kids was also fun . soon came time for the inevitable retirement on the heel of a downward - trending career , and after that things ... changed .
suddenly , it was less praise and more demands . earlier practices , with his father making rome and his brother run drills until they were sick . suddenly , things that were previously good weren’t good enough , despite how much better his sons continued to be .
as anyone with half a brain could guess , these pressures eventually began to take their toll . with interests in anything else repressed by his father’s insistence that football is and always will be the most important thing in life , rome began to emulate his father’s aggressive attitude , first bringing it to the field and then , more notably , to his personal life . failed relationships , fights at school , sneaking home late absolutely blitzed out of his mind -- none of the behaviors were healthy , but they were enough to take the weight of his father’s hands off of his shoulders , if only for a moment . until papa helicopter parent found out , that is .
tw abuse : despite his sons catering to his every will , miles’ incessant anger began to worsen , and soon a lot of the verbal abuse had started to become physical , too . sure , rome knew that it was wrong , but he also thought that maybe if he’d been better in the game last night , or worked harder at practice , maybe he’d stop .
he made varsity his freshman year of high school and took his team to the state championships , expecting his dad to finally approve of something he’d done . instead , he came home to the news that his mother was leaving -- that his parents were splitting up and that this had been a long time combing . safe to say this mama’s boy ass bitch was devastated.
tw death : his dad only sunk deeper into his madness , but all that anyone else could see is that rome was throwing further , moving faster , and making better plays . a non - football related injury left him with a broken arm , and it was on the way home from the hospital that his father received the call that his ex - wife had taken her own life . devastated part ii , coming soon to a theater near you !
tw drugs , alcohol , general debauchery : the partying worsened . rome had entered a phase in his life where he was looking for something -- anything to completely wipe his mind of any and all thoughts . the drugs , the alcohol , it was all a coping mechanism , but it definitely wasn’t a healthy one . soon , his brother left for college thousands of miles away , and rome found out that that fifth of rum goes down a lot easier after doing a few lines beforehand .
he chose to go to college in georgia not because he wanted to , but because his dad knew that hollingsworth was a great school for scouting attention and that rome wasn’t never too far away to yell at SKDFKJ . in his midst of an extended bender compounded by having training now twice a day everyday on top of college courses , he decided to join pike -- and he absolutely loves it .
he chose to major in psych because he wants to understand why his dad hates him so much SKJFJKS dumb b*tch .
also last summer he may or may not have allegedly accidentally wrapped his masterati around a telephone pole and gotten a dui . in reality , it was his brother , but roman told him to gtfo and he’d take the fall because his bro finally managed to escape his dad and rome didn’t want him to suffer the same fate . it made headlines , but his dad pulled approximately 6 billion strings to get him conditionally reinstated to the team .
spent the summer before his junior year chillin in rehab , but he relapsed shortly after . consistency is key here , kids.
still bender - adjacent , but he’s kept it more lowkey because the nfl draft is coming in HOT .
iii.
he really .............. kinda sux , objectively SFDKJSDFJK
he has so , so much pent up frustration and anger directed at his father and himself that it manifests in some pretty shitty behaviors .
he’s definitely controlling ( as a consequence of having v v little control over his own life ) , and he’ll manipulate any situation he deems worthy of his effort just to assure that he isn’t in any state of vulnerability .
i know yall get it , he vapes , but he’s definitely the kind of guy to try to keep the party running til 5 am and get pissed when people tell him that maybe he should stop .
he will provoke anyone and anything ( even inanimate objects ) if found in a self - destructive enough mood .
has a notoriously short temper , but what kind of gym rat doesn’t .
manages to still attain a 4.0 ( and in his words , psych is easy ) , so that’s another thing that makes it difficult for him to understand that his lifestyle is ... per se ... problematique .
10000% has sent a plethora of u up ? texts
kinda gets a little .. hm .. sad sometimes but that’s only after everyone bails from the party n he’s left alone in a dirty ass frat house SDKFSDJK
definitely an irredeemable trash bag and pls don’t think of him any other way
is definitely fiercely loyal to the 2.5 people who can tolerate him .
currently in an uber ride to hell , but 10/10 hit the option so that his uber driver can’t talk to him 🤡
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More Chaleigh headcannons
Because I’ve been spreading a lot of sad recently so
Who hogs the blanket? - Chuckles, Raleigh doesn't feel the need for the blankets half the time, he grew up in Alaska for gods sake, a blanket in Sydney might just finish him off. Also Chuck gives off the heat of a dying star and is always adamant about wrapping himself around Raleigh's back and causing him to almost expire from heat exhaustion. So it's less Chuck hogging the blanket and more Raleigh fighting to have the thing as far away from him as possible
Who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts? - Rals, he spent 5 years on rations, he doesn't let anything go to waste. Even before that when Richard bailed and Dominique got sick they didn't have a lot of money so every bite of food counted. They get plenty of food now but it's still a hard habit to break if its on a plate in front of him he's not gonna leave it.
Who is more likely to cry over a sad book or movie? - Honestly I think Chuck, like he's this emotionally walled off kid effectively. And he probably didn't get to watch or read a lot of stuff and when he did it will have been engineering books or something. So Raleigh comes along and he had a childhood before the kaiju attacked he was 15 before the world even started ending, he didn't even enlist till he was 17 so like he spent his childhood with films and books. So he picks these films that Chuck missed that he has to see and some of them are sad, like super sad and Chuck has spent so long bottling in any emotion that wasn't anger or smugness and Raleigh makes him feel safe so these films the sort of shock the tears out of him. And at first he's embarrassed but Raleigh is always there always comforting and honestly sometimes it's more beneficial than their mandatory therapy sessions as he feels so much safer crying about a film with Raleigh and just being normal.
Who talks smack while playing video games? - Both of them. Are you kidding me? Raleigh is a middle child like, he probably grew up with a wii, bet you he tried to beat Yancy to death with a wii remote once for blue shelling him (they hurt, my brother broke my finger with one). So like Raleigh was raised on smack talk and video games, but Chuck who no doubt missed out on a lot especially like COD or stuff, is a competitive and contrary little shit. No way is he taking anything lying down, bet you he starts teabagging Rals the first time he kills him even though he has no clue what it is or that it has a name. Also bet you they've fallen out/actually had a physical fight over Mario Party just saying.
Who sings along with the radio? - Raleigh probably, like again he was old enough when the war started. So most songs that come on the radio he will know and he'll take great delight in pissing Chuck off by singing at the top of his voice and out of tune (he can sing in tune, fairly well tbh, but were is the fun in that). Chuck surprises him though, like ok he doesn't know any of the modern stuff but he knows like everything 80's and some vague 90s stuff and Raleigh is kinda shooketh, and the kid is adorable when he knows a song on the radio and he just can't help himself singing along, (Raleigh won't say it outloud but he's not a great singer, but he loves Chuck's voice so he couldn't give a shit) also and Chuck would kill Raleigh if anyone else ever found out but Chuck knows musicals. Like he doesn't know movies but Angela loved musicals and Chuck has a playlist - he listens to it in the shower.
Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire while cooking? - Chuck. Raleigh had a sick mother, who lets be real he would have had to cook for as Yancy must have been working to bring some money in other than any benefits or sick pay or whatever. So Raleigh is like a super competent cook, maybe he hasn't done it in a while but it's ingrained into him. Chuck on the other hand he hasn't lived anywhere but military bases and shatterdomes since he was 12. Food just kinda appears, like he tips up to the mess hall and there it is. So the first few times it will go as expected the food isn't great, but it's edible like Chuck is too much of a perfectionist to fuck up that badly. But then he'll get a little confident a little bit cocky and will try and do two things at once and before you know it he's put a towel on a burner ring and all the sprinklers go off.
Who would throw the other into a pool? - Raleigh? Again he's a younger sibling, I feel things like that come from either having a sibling or high school shenanigans and seeing as Chuck has experienced neither he just wouldn't consider it. But Raleigh decides it would be fucking hilarious to grab Chuck off the stretcher he's been reading on by the pool bridal style and it takes Chuck a second to react first by dropping his book followed by an "Oi, Ray, fuck do you think you're doing" and before you know it the kid has been dropped in the deep end. Queue all out war, Raleigh still has a tan line in the shape of a dick on his back.
Who shops for groceries? - Raleigh, Chuck comes along and just throws garbage in the cart like he'll 100% see how many snacks he can sneak in there before they get to the check out. If Raleigh sent him alone they would have exactly nothing with any nutritional value.
Who kills the spiders? - Max, Raleigh is scared of them like not to the point where he'd die if stuck in a room with one, but he isn't getting close enough to the fucker to kill it. And Chuck well Chuck is deathly afraid, like would happily just burn the house to the ground and leave kind of afraid. He trained Max to eat spiders, because if there's even one in the room with him he can't sleep, can't focus on anything but where the thing is. Like he's slept in the mess hall a few times to avoid a spider.
Who is the morning/night person? - Raleigh is a golden retriever personified, he's all baby Anna from Frozen "The sky's away so I'm awake", so like it will be 6am and he'll be raring to go and he's not exactly quiet or tactful when he wakes up, and Chuck will be jostled awake and every morning without fail Chuck will have to debate whether he punches Raleigh hard enough in the throat that he passes out. Chuck has learned however that Raleigh will sleep in later if he's well and truly fucked the night before so that's usually his tactic, alternatively if Chuck can wake up long enough to give Raleigh a good blow job he tends to go straight back to sleep, so yeah Chuck is certainly not a morning person and has learnt to use sex or violence as a way to get more sleep.
Who proposes? - Honestly I think it would probably be Chuck, like Raleigh probably wouldn't even consider it. He loves Chuck like with his whole being, but Raleigh's experience of marriage is a father who had a whole other family and bailed on his mom so he's not exactly the sort of person who would consider it the ultimate declaration of love. But Chuck his happy memories were from when his mum and dad were together and it was the three of them and Herc still loves Angela so of course Chuck would see it as a way to show Rals he loves him and Raleigh would be so shocked and awed that Chuck would want to saddle himself with his has been ass and of course Raleigh says yes.
Who forgot to put the cat dog outside before sex? - I mean Raleigh probably as Chuck has experienced that awful feeling of eyes on him during sex only to turn and see Max staring woefully at him from across the room probably way more times than he wants to admit but Raleigh. Raleigh has probably never had a pet and has never had to worry about being watched by anything other than another human which they tend to remove themselves from the situation fairly quickly when they've grasped what's about to happen. So yeah Raleigh would forget and they'd be happily cracking on as it were and Max instead of just watching in that creepy unblinking way that pets tend to have he'd come up and actually lick any part of either body he could reach standing on his hind legs and Raleigh would actually fucking squeak and Chuck would be laughing to hard to focus on much of anything else for a good while. So they don't forget anymore.
Who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit? Chuck? Like I can see Raleigh doing more embarrassing shit, like tripping over constantly or just being a fucking dork and Chuck just films it. But Raleigh is 100% the more likely one that if Chuck did trip over or he caught him singing Les Mis or something to post it somewhere. He’s also the one that’s gonna get a bo staff to the head for the trouble but he’d probably only regret it when he’s lying in bed with the lights off because he has a minor concussion and the light makes his head want to explode but at least Chuck is stroking his hair and hasn’t turned them back on so that probably counts as a win.
Who breaks the most phones? Raleigh probably. I see him as being the clumsy one but if Chuck is mad he’s so gonna launch phones at things like walls or people. But I think Chuck accepts that failing and would have a proper case on his phone, Raleigh on the other hand is always adamant that he won’t drop this one cue two weeks later having to admit to Chuck that the screen is in a million pieces and the battery might be leaking as he dropped it off one of the engineering decks.
Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't? Neither? Like Raleigh isn’t that sort of cocky, he would never think he’s good at something that he isn’t - he knows what he excels at and is perfectly accepting of what he can’t do. And Chuck honestly I think he’s pretty good at a lot of things and he’s far too proud to do something that he’s bad at and wouldn’t be willing to make a fool of himself in front of others. So I think they both know what they can and can’t do
Who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed? Rals 100%. Like he’s an eternal sunshine child, he goes from 0-60 in the blink of an eye and Chuck is not into the whole being awake before a reasonable hour unless a goddamn kaiju is here and about to fuck shit up. So I don’t doubt that if Raleigh is being either too noisy or too handsy before Chuck is either willing to wake up or willing to have morning sex before having a nap then I can bet Raleigh has either been pushed/kicked out of bed forcefully onto the floor, punched somewhere usually the throat or his balls or Chuck has actively tried to smother him either with a pillow or just his own body. That and I’d put money on Raleigh taking great delight in coming back early from being outside maybe just taking max for a wee and putting his cold hands/feet against Chuck’s skin, and Chuck has just removed him not just from the bed but the entire room and left him out in the corridor until he’s ready to get up.
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*snoop dog vc* greetings loved ones let’s take another journey.. if you like insomniac boys with shitty pasts who don’t give a good goddamn who GOT that juicy redemption ark then do i have a deal for you ! for one easy payment of a fruit roll-up, you too could have this aforementioned fella ! ( there are absolutely no refunds bc i eat the payment immediately sorry )
☾*✧・゚:*「 lee hoseok ( wonho ). transmale. he/him. 」did you know that there’s a human in seoul named hyun jitae? they have been here for their entire life and they are an officer. they are currently twenty-five and is not a part of the ju jak and does know about the magi. i heard that they are known to be pugnacious, but worry not ! i heard they are also very stalwart too. remember to stay out of trouble, the magi are lurking around every corner ! ( markus, nineteen, he/him, cst. )
tw for transphobia, abuse, in general just some awful parenting, violence and death.
so, let’s start from the beginning, where all full stories rightfully have to. born to a hunter and housewife, he was the third of three children and was the first girl of the family. his innocence could only last so long with the corruption in his bloodlines, an ancestry of hunters stretching many years through the hyun family and long standing supporters of the ju jak cause. it was a poison that was passed down to each generation when they matured and he would be no different.
his parents had been fairly lax, bringing his twin brothers up, two years his senior, but they toughened up when he was born. jitae was expected to be their picture-perfect child, ideally one who would marry into another family of hunters to keep the lineage going, seek out magi and do as he was told. from a young age, a gender divide was very much enforced upon him ; he was told that pink was for girls, blue was for boys and all the other ridiculous stereotypes. he wasn’t allowed to play with his brothers’ toys, even though he clearly had a much higher interest in them. they insisted on having him wear skirts, even though all he really wanted to do was steal his brothers’ shirts.
his father was always far too busy to be emotionally involved with anything he was up to, his mother, though she held the same ideals as his father did, was much more encouraging – even when he seemed to only want to throw mud outside with his brothers or spend his time sat quietly maneuvering small bugs around his hands. life seemed easier then, and if you ever were to ask he’d like to come back to here, the fragile and comfortable age of five.
at nine, he officially ditches his full name and takes on the shorter, snappier shortening of it, blatantly ignoring anything else. he also ditches a lot that was forced onto him, and begins to slowly tarnish the image that has been built around him – the first step in that is cutting off long, brilliant locks with a pair of safety scissors. ( he’s grounded for a solid month for that particular endeavor after a rather long beating, but they at least take him to a barber to clean up the botched job. )
up until he was about thirteen, the veil over his eyes remained. he’d always been warned to not get to curious what his father got up to in the late hours of the night, or why his brothers always went with him. up until then – and then shit starts to hit the fan when he is thrown head first into long training sessions. he finds comfort in ripped jeans and stolen shirts, cardigans and hoodies have become his safety net. at least, he surmises, he has this one thing that he could have for his own. ( even that was something borrowed, snagged from his brothers’ closets. ) his mother seems to catch on, discreetly leaves recently bought t-shirts sprinkled within his wardrobe. he dyes his hair blonde for a few months, not without strong opposition, before returning to his natural black – he’s experimenting, more than anything else, wants to smash as many of the buttons set in front of him as possible and come into his own instead of the mold he was crammed into. teacher often being an older cousin, or his elder brothers the days his father will allow, endurance and agility training quickly become his daily after-school activity. knives and hand-to-hand combat were his favorite though, each unfortunate mistake earned him a new nick or a bloodied lip when he wasn’t quite fast enough. wasn’t quite good enough. ( even though he resented his father, he wanted him to be proud. )
at fifteen, he starts sneaking out with his elder brothers whenever they can manage. instead of paying attention to their father’s long lectures on preparation and being adaptable, the three sit outside and complain together. his brothers smoke cheap cigarettes that they buy with their minimum wage ; he steals a drag here and there, and makes his brothers swear not to tell. ( he doesn’t really care if they do, though. maybe hopes that they did. ) gets much too competitive during short spars and more than satisfied when he can manage to beat any of his older relatives.
seventeen brings a new form of rebellion, but most notably confusion about his identity. his brothers wholeheartedly accept his requests to refer to him by jitae but his father remained adamant and bigoted in his ways. outbursts aimed at him became frequent, to be dubbed unfit for the family had brought more than feelings of rage within jitae but snapped something he didn’t know he had. halfway through that seventeenth year, he’s arrested for defacing of property. ( he may or may not have painted profanity in bold red letters on some unsuspecting victim’s vehicle. ) in homage to his first arrest, many long summer days spent doing community service.
at eighteen, it seems as if all the world’s anger has seeped into his body. where mischief and joy once lingered, pure hatred for the situation around him blackens his entire being. he starts getting into fistfights, and comes home ( more often than not ) at three in the morning. if his parents wanted to disown him before, they’re on the verge of it now ; they can’t stand who he has become, and it all comes to a very ugly head when he brings a girl home and his parents find out.
everything seems to click into place, somehow working in his favor that makes even his nihilism fall silent. his father gives up the prospect of the short fuse having any use as a hunter, and that’s his chance and he takes it. flees their family home with well wishes from his older brothers who offer him a hand, an out. he politely declined, his pride always more prominent that the two combined. he lives in something like peace, it’s quiet and almost maddeningly so but he maybe can equate that to comfort. eventually manages to get access to hormone therapy, taking up a job as a cashier for some local understaffed business that was understaffed. he manages, daily phone calls to his concerned mother who’s always sure to tell him that his father still does love him. ( fat chance, he’d always butt in before she can finish the phrase. )
easing into a monotonous pattern of life comes with great difficulty but he does manage, heads to the gym near religiously everyday to work away any stresses. learning to loosen when strangers smile at him, even smiles back some days. things were fine, a little rough but fine. he’s on the cusp of twenty-four when he gets the call from his hysteric mother, his father has been killed. things.. things change then. he heads back home because he cannot abandon his mother there and leave grief to eat away at her. ( like slipping on an old glove- it fits perfectly yet it was unfamiliar. he thinks maybe this is how life truly spits in his face. ) what comes next can only be described as a domino effect.
he takes up the torch, when he knows he shouldn’t and even with the reasoning voices of his brothers. he had fallen back into the cavern he worked so hard to crawl out of, a stout pillar of the ju jak standard all over again. he is certain he doesn’t have the strength to make the climb up a second time. he keeps a pistol holstered to his thigh, a trained eye on everyone around him. heavy circles are a stain under his eyes, the scars that litter the canvas of his body remind of a past almost escaped. ( something screams that this is what he was made for, BORN FOR. NOW HERE’S THE KICKER ; he knows that once he slips, he will not rise & will only greet depravity like an old friend. )
but he doesn’t. with the reappearance of a certain elder hyun, the decision to drop his role as a hunter, fall from the ju jak emerges and it doesn’t take much deliberation on his part. he leaves, abandons the cause and everything he once stood for. ( thought he stood for; CONVINCED himself he stood for. ) joins the police to stand alongside his older brother.
personality-wise ? he’s STILL an absolute shit most of the time, pretty abrasive. y’know, rubs just about everyone and their grandmother the wrong way. he’s aggressively opinionated and he’ll break your goddamn nose if you try to pull any shit on him or his loved ones.
curses like an absolute sailor.. every other word is likely a swear.
feel free to slide on up into my ims or hit me up on discord for plots ( you might have to give me yours since i don’t think.. you cAN ADD MINE SINCE I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A NAME OK IT’S A WHOLE THING )
#haneulintro#jitae in bryson tiller's vc: i'm back and i'm better#WE TRULY LOVE A DEVELOPMENT AND IM SO .. SAPPY.. SAD HAPPY..
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Chapter 2: The Analysis of Ozai
Prisoner Ozai has been moved to a modern house on a distant volcano island, which is not known on Firenation maps as it’s in another dimension. A force field limits exiting the perimeter around the house. Another force field restricts the movements of the prisoner: he can be touched but when he shows aggression the field stuns. The house has advanced electronics to monitor all rooms.
Ozai wakes in the morning, surprised to find himself in a comfy bed in silk sheets instead of his prison cell. He hears beautiful music and birds singing. It’s warm. He thinks: I must be dead, but not reborn. I feel alive, but this is too nice to be hell. A faint beep is heard regularly. It stops when he opens his eyes. He sees a white ceiling, he’s in a wooden bed. Drapes are drawn on one side of the room and a blinking white machine stands beside his bed. A shadow vanishes under the bed. His reflexes kick in. He jumps out of the bed and looks below it. Two blue eyes look back at him. A small animal with blue eyes, a long tail, cream colored with brown paws and snout looks at him. Like a batcat without wings, he thinks. The animal approaches and vocalizes something, then it runs off.
He gets out of his bed and looks at his worn but toned body. He looks into the mirror. He has aged, but he trained in his cell. He is naked and follows the lights on the floor to another room. He remembers entering the pod and then having faded out. And a kiss. He is aroused but feels horribly sick at the same time.
He is startled by a voice coming from a round sphere rolling around on the floor. A digital assistant who greets and welcomes him, shows him the bathroom, his wardrobe and the rooms amenities. Ozai is shocked by the advanced technology and confused, but happy to be free and able to clean up and put on proper Firenation clothing.
Please follow me the sphere says and leads him to a darkened room with a screen in the front. The sphere bids him to sit down and watch. A curtain opens up on the screen and the Fire nation throne room comes up.
Courtroom
Present Firelord Zuko, Avatar Aang, Judge Kanto, Jury members, Timelord Mya in the defense of former Firelord Ozai.
JK: You, Timelord Mya have come forward to demand an inquest into former Firelord Ozais imprisonment. Mya Timelord, would you like to give your opening statement?
M: Firelord Zuko, Avatar Aang, Judge Kanto, dear Jury. I have asked you to join me today to offer you a request. I am a time lord. Whenever I see an imbalance in the time space continuum I come and intervene. In this case I saw that the imprisonment of Ozai will lead to a spiral of violence which will plague your world for centuries and which will ultimately lead to the destruction of your civilization. Furthermore there are legal issues with his imprisonment which I want to elaborate in this court. This is why I have made the decision to intervene. I have a proposition for you. Hand Ozai over to me, as a prisoner. I will remove him from your world for the time being until he is reformed.
JK: In order to judge on your request we need witness accounts. Do you have witnesses?
M: Honourable Judge, I would like to call in Avatar Aang as witness.
JK: Calling in Avatar Aang.
M: Avatar Aang, was Ozai the first Firelord to pursue you?
A: No, Azulon started the quest.
M: Did Ozai start the Hundred Year war?
Aang: No. Sozin started the war. It was then continued with great advances by Azulon and then Ozai took over.
M: So did Ozai kill all the airbenders and the water tribes?
Aang: No Azulon and Sozin did.
M: Was Ozai involved in any military offensives before he took over the reins three years ago?
Aang: No, Iroh led the offensive and siege on Ba Sing Se.
M: So we can only judge three years in which Ozai took over from his father and brother?
Aang: Yes, that’s right.
M: Do you agree that Ozai was not involved in any of the crimes committed by other family members before his reign?
Aang: ....Yes.
M: How about the outer rim of Firenation and the colonies. Is there any cultural exchange or economic exchange between the colonies and the Fire Nation?
Aang: Yes, a few of the cities have really grown in the colonies and are thriving.
M: So I formally object that we blame Ozai for any failings, which were done by any other Firelord and also acknowledge that apart from his later continuation of the ongoing offensive on Ba Sing Se, his main objective was to increase trade exchange.
JK: Objection approved.
M: Then let's see. Ozai planned to scorch the Earth nation, but was defeated by you before he managed to do that.
A: Yes, that's true.
M: Crazy guy, wanting to burn a whole country down, isn't it? Like someone on a rage spree burning down his neighbours house. If he had been a farmer, we'd call him mad for burning down his neighbours crops and give him therapy, maybe lock him up in a mental institution. But it’s his bad luck that he's the Firelord and a powerful fire bending master under the magnifying force of a comet. He clearly had a manic meltdown. So we lock him up in a cold cell without daylight. Do you think opportunity facilitated the crime in this case?
A: I guess so.
JK: No assumptions, please.
M: Fine, my angle here is that we are blaming Ozai for an opportunity he only had because he was pushed into that position. He is manic-depressive. The pressure of the siege led him to experience a manic episode. If we judge him, we must also judge the fire sages and all noble people of the Fire Nation who expected him to do something outrageous, to make his mark as the second born pretty boy son. They nurtured and fed his manic state of mind. But this is not a trial of fire nation society, but of one man. Not a monster, not a demon, just one guy who went on a crazy rampage burning everything because for one moment during Sozins comet he could. A man, who had nothing to his name - except being the second born prince. Who spent his youth not chasing girls but training firebending on Ember island and training his abs. Who - without experience or any formal military role - became the Firelord. A man with a troubled family. A guy who perfected his skills of firebending. The only thing that was left to him after his wife left. A craft, which you ultimately took from him.
A: Yes I did.
M: Firebenders need sunlight. If you lock an earthbender or a waterbender into a cellar, he will still be exposed to his elements several times a day. But a firebender in a cold hole below earth is particularly cruel. He can’t bend fire, but denying him sunlight is torture.
A: ....
M: So why do you all fear him so much still? You have taken all he had. Let me deal with the rest. All I ask from you is to leave him to me. I will take him to another dimension where we will work on his issues. The chances of progress are far better there than here. Furthermore, he won't be able to contact any of his former allies. He’ll be safely locked away.
As second witness I call in Fire Lord Zuko:
M: Firelord, you're the son of Ozai. I understand the pain he has brought on you, like all of us will. But tell me, when you were little, were things different then?
Z: Well, I suppose yes. I remember him as my father. He was always very strict but we also had good times on Ember island on the beach.
M: When did things go sour?
Z: When Lu Ten fell in the war and my father was suddenly pressured by many noble people of the Firenation to become Firelord.
M: How do you mean pressured?
Z: They had all lost family and General Irohs reaction - although very understandable - enraged many of the families who had pulled through similar tragedies.
M: Was your father used to this kind of pressure?
Z: No, I don't think so.
M: Did he have any military role or training?
Z: No, he was a master firebender and was more into expanding that craft. He wanted to be the best and do new innovative stuff.
M: So we have a man who is pushed to a spot, where he has no experience and where his hunger for power ultimately backfired. And he paid a big price for his inquest, didn't he.
Z: Yes, my grandfather, FireLord Azulon asked him to kill me.
M: And yet you are alive!
Z: Yes, my mother found a way to deal with Azulon and went to exile for that.
M: Did you know that your mother had married Ozai on an arranged marriage?
Z: Yes, but on amicable terms.
M: Did you know that she was engaged before and who kept up that relationship even after she became Firelord Ozai's wife?
Z: !!!!!
M: I am sorry to bring this up. But this was the moment when things went sour for Ozai. She told your father that her former fiancé was your father, but Ozai knew that she was lying. She did it to hurt him. He in turn promised her to treat you like a bastard son, so that you would turn out different than him. He loves her still and he loves you, in a twisted way. This culminated in your scorched face and your exile to get you away from him. He still loves your mother, Firelord. And all he does is a futile attempt to get her back.
Z: No, this can't all be true!!
M: I am the Timelord, I see it clearly. I can play it to you, but I want to spare you the pain. Ozai is a conflicted man, full of doubts and a volatile self-esteem, who easily falters under extreme pressure. He is manic-depressive. The loss of his wife tossed him into a manic-depressive cycle. The phoenix king is his manic side. He was left by all women in his life. His mother died young, his beloved wife played him and does so still now. Locking him up is not going to produce any betterment or results.
JK: I want to see if there is any base to your accusations. We will retreat to the private chamber and adjourn this session in 20 Minutes.
Twenty minutes later back in the courtroom.
JK: I am reopening the session after the break. The accusations of Mya Timelord were accurate. I am sorry, Firelord Zuko.
Z: This cannot be....
M: Things are not always the way they look on the surface. Overcome your own hunger for revenge and take an unbiased view on Ozai.
M: As third witness I want to call in the brother of the accused, Retired General Iroh.
JK: Calling in Retired General Iroh of the Fire Nation.
M: General Iroh, you fought for years for the Fire Nation?
I: Yes...
M: In that function you were responsible for directly slaying hundreds of people during the war. Yet you changed sides after your own son died. It took a personal hit to make you fall, the fate of others never left you unhinged.
I: It was a bloody war on all sides...
M: Yet, If you had not gone travelling in those lands during exile, but stayed in FireNation, do you think you would be this amicable towards the other cultures of this world?
I: No, I don't think I would.
M: So why do you think that Ozai, who in fact has never left FireNation but was brainwashed by all his family to hate and look down on anything other, should be lenient? He is a product of his upbringing and of his surroundings. Do you think that he might have changed if you had become Firelord and he had gone to exile instead?
I: (ponders... ) I don't know. He is very strong willed, power hungry, ambitious and has a loose temper. But he might very well have.
M: So in deed, we have someone who never really had the opportunity to learn other views, who is blinded by his convictions, who has manic episodes and we lock him up in a cell where he simmers in his own soup of prejudice, depression and misanthropy. And we call that progress...?
I: ...
Zuko: We cannot let him go like this. Not after all that he did!
M: We are better than him, aren't we? And dont' forget. He will not be free. He will be in a maximum security facility in another dimension, with me. He will have access to daylight. He will have no contact to other people unless it's in alignment with his parole regulations. So are we better than Firelord Ozai?
Aang: I guess so. In order to create balance we must adjust the scale. Punishment is not productive, I agree on that.
M: A dictator is the sum of function inducing fear, appearance and power. You have taken away the function, the fear and the power, what left is just the guy. Let me deal with the guy. You can then focus on rebuilding this world without his shadow. Let his shadow be my problem.
JK: The Jury will now retreat to consult with the Firelord and the avatar.
They left to consult behind closed doors.
JK: We are concluding our session with my closing statement and verdict. The jury together with the Firelord and the Avatar have listened to all objections and inquests of Mya the Timelord. After weighing in the testimonies and the evidence we comply with Timelord Mya's request, under the condition that we get weekly progress reports on the developments and any change of his parole regulations are defined by this panel. The jury will drink the potion of lost thoughts and will forget all said today. I herewith sign the sentence.
Mya approached the Judge and scanned the sentence with a blue stone.
The film ends and Ozai is utterly confused. What is a time lord? Why Timelord and not Timelady? And why does she take such a great interest in him? He feels exposed and vulnerable. He hates that feeling. He almost wishes to be back in his cell. He sits there clenching his fists, trying to control the anger. Who is she to drag his life into the open like this and his feelings for Ursa, his rage, his sadness, his will to outshine his misery? At least the jury is not going to spill the beans to the public. He gets up, angry and looking for answers.
The sphere offers to show him the house. Ozai follows. The house is modern with wood set in nature. Exotic plants and birds are outside the windows. The sphere takes him through a long corridor to a large living room with a high fireplace and gallery on top lining the room. He imagines the magnificent fire and instinctively poses his hand to ignite. Then he remembers his loss of firebending. The room is decorated with antique Asian and Polynesian artworks. Many dragons, which remind him of home. Wherever he walks the beautiful music follows him. The room smells of jasmine and sandalwood. Two beautiful blue-eyed cats are roaming around and a crow watches him attentively from the gallery. On one side, he sees a door to a dining room and another one to a vast library. He goes into the library and sees that most books are not in Kanji. On the mantle are little pictures of Mya and others in silver frames.
The dining room is empty, but a fruit bowl makes him realize that he’s no longer sick and how hungry he is, so he grabs an apple. The other fruit look unknown to him. He leaves back for the living room which has a french window to the terrace.
Ozai is met on the terrace in front of a infinity pool by Mya. She is wearing a sheer blue and green gown over a bikini. She has flowers in her hair. He gets hard immediately seeing her like that.
M: Welcome to the island, Ozai. Thank you for being my guest.
O: I saw that ridiculous trial. I did not think that you despise me that much... dragging my life out like that. I thought you‘d fight honourably.
M: I don’t despise you, I am trying my best to understand you. I wanted you out, I got you out. Sometimes a good result requires bad methods. I am not an angel. I wanted you to see it. No secrets, full transparency.
O: So what is this all about? What am I doing here?
M: We are here to work on your issues. I did not mean to hurt you. I am sorry.
O: So you think I am a crazy man?
M: You’re an overambitious man who did bet on the wrong horse. You took a plausible path, albeit not the most ... humanitarian one. We have opposing views on a few things. But we can work together.
O: Tell me, what am I doing here? Am I your slave? Who are you to distort my life like this.
M: Your story, dear Ozai, does not end in a dim prison cell. You still have a big role to play - a role which will dwarf being the Phoenix king- and to redeem yourself. I will guide you on your journey.
O: I am leaving...
M: Make no mistake, my love, you are still a prisoner. But in a more agreeable jail. If you try to run a force field will contain you. Same for violence. But you are free to move about in and around the house, if you follow my instructions. Our conversation is recorded for further parole hearings. So consider well, if you prefer the cold dark cell.
Ozai seems to be mad, but then he closes his eyes. When he opens them he’s much calmer. He looks around, sees the vastness of the sea, the mountain rising at the other horizon, the surrounding exotic jungle. His spirits rise. He smiles. There are flocks of birds flying over the sea and the scent of flowers is in the air. And the sun is shining full force. He takes off his cloak, stands in the sunlight, showing off his abs, with his eyes closed and fuels in on the sunlight.
M: Are you enjoying the sun?
O: Yes, I feel the sun on my skin! Finally! I feel much stronger. Much more alive.
M: I am glad to hear that.
O: You call me a madman and yet you kissed me...
M: You looked very... kissable. You’re interesting. I am not afraid of you, although maybe I should be.
O: How did I get here?
M: Sorry, I had to sedate you for transport for this location. You‘re not supposed to know where you are.
O: We are not in Fire Nation territory?
M: No, we’re not. I’ll tell you more in due time. Let‘s just soak in the sun, shall we?
Both lie in the sun on loungers in silence for a while.
M: Do you ever get sunburnt?
O: Never...
M: We should record a session for your dear son.
O: Spare me with requests from my son. I don‘t want to think about him now. I want to feel alive again. I want to look at the sea, at the sky, the sun and at you! I want to feel the energy and feel alive from core to shell.
M: You look quite alive to me. Alive enough to answer my questions.
Ozai felt a short tight squeeze on his chest from the force field. He gasped for air, looked at Mya in anger and then complied.
Session 4:
M: What would you do at home on such a lovely day?
O: We were at war. I did not have the luxury to enjoy sunny days.
M: Before you became Fire Lord?
O: Training outdoors, firebending and Agni Kai against other firebenders. Family. Maybe Ember island.
M: And as Fire Lord? How did a typical day look?
O: I was woken by a servant, prepped and dressed. Then I had breakfast, sometimes with my generals or my daughter. Then strategic meetings. In the evening I’d meet with influential families to gain their support for the war.
M: How did you relax?
O: ???
M: You’re so intense, there must be a way in which you let off steam... Making love to beautiful girls and/or boys?
O: I won’t answer that (embarrassed)
M: You cannot just pile on without letting off some steam...
O: Fire bending... training forms... Agni Kai...probably.
M: Now without your bending powers you must be quite stressed out.
O: I meditate.
M: Do you achieve balance?
O: I feel the rage.
M: Too much energy?
O: I don’t like being confined. I was now confined for two years.
M: Let’s try something. Follow me. Sit down to meditate. Don’t be afraid, it’s nothing to be worried about.
So, are you calm and relaxed?
O: I can’t relax.
M: Give me your hands. We will make a journey in your mind.
O: No, thank you. I have no intention to. Last time it left me shattered when I woke up and had to face the grim reality of my prison cell.
M: Fair enough, then let’s just sit together and enjoy the sun, enjoy being alive and have some good tea.
O: Where is the tea?
M: Would you like some? I have some exquisite Gyokuro tea...worthy for a celebration on your first day with me.
Mya goes, gets the kettle, sets up tea in a tiny Japanese tea set. Ozai watches her and is feeling very hot. But he also feels that he‘s restricted by the force field, which creates an invisible pulsating cage around him.
M: Your tea, Lord Ozai.
O: Now I feel alive.
We drink tea silently. Awkward silence. He looks relaxed and musters something akin to a smile. I feel like kissing him, but I restrain myself.
Then I pour him a cherry blossom tea. He closes his eyes and enjoys the smell. When he opens his eyes I see desire in them.
He slowly drinks tea and watches me with his sly ember eyes, like a fox eyeing his prey. His hands reach forward to touch my breasts. He is surprised that there is no stun. I move towards him and whisper in his ears that I’ve stopped the tape and his cage. His arms grab me and we kiss. He drags me to his bed. He undresses me slowly until I am naked. His lips and tongue are on my neck. I feel his breath on my skin. I feel his tongue in my mouth, the heat from his body. The smell of his body. I feel his possessiveness and the frenzy of a madman, the fire and the danger. I taste the salty taste of his sweaty skin. We make love and I enjoy every bit of him until I lose myself. When he did he had gripped the mattress of the lounger, which was now scorched.
O: This feels so good, you feel so good, I have been waiting for this for so long...
He smelled the burnt linen and opened his eyes.
O: Did I do this?
He looked at the lounger incredulously.
M: Remember, Aang said you can‘t bend fire to harm others. So if you find a new approach to firebending, your powers might come back. Sex might be a first clue. We might call it Firefucking or maybe fuckbending?
O: Then let‘s fuckbend ten times a day... he whispered and grinned ear to ear. For the first time since I knew him, he seemed happy.
He was exhausted and I covered us up with a blanket. I took a shower and then I jumped into the pool and he followed me.
O: the water is warm!
M: Yes, I know you folk don‘t like cold water.
He pinned me against the edge and kissed me. He looked tired.
I was getting aroused again, but I worried about him, so I got out.
M: Prison surely strained you. We’ll do a health check to see if you have any imbalances.
O: What health check?
M: Heart, BP, Blood, the usual.
We went to the medical bay.
M: Are you cold. You look queasy.
O: I am not used to stand around like this, exposed in front of a pretty woman.
M: We’re not being naughty now, sorry. O: My dick thinks otherwise.
M: Don’t worry, the check will be over soon and then we can continue our fuckbending research.
Does medical check.
M: Your body has suffered in jail, but we can patch you up.
Moves to desk, mixes a protein drink.
M: Drink this, it will help you recover your strength. You’ll need all of it for our journey.
O: Is the journey spiritual or are we really going away? I am starting to like it here.
M: For the time being we’re here, but our time together is a journey.
We went to the dining room, both hungry like wolves. The sphere had already served different dishes. I was amused to see that Ozai put huge amounts of hot sauce on everything.
After dinner I pulled him into his bedroom. I kissed him and he took me slowly from behind.
I lay in his arms and he caressed my face.
O: You‘re such a strange girl...
M: No one called me a girl since ages...
O: Why did you really save me?
M: You‘re too hot to rot in jail... and then as I said, the world is in turmoil and I need your help. I‘ll tell you all about it tomorrow.
We went to bed and he fell asleep at once.
Ozai woke up, me in his arms.
O: You‘re still here.
M: Yes, I have been watching you sleep.
O: Why would you do that?
M: In sleep we are unmasked. I see your pain, your fear of abandonment. You still love her, don‘t you?
O: Did I say her name in my dreams?
M: ... She hurt you, left you, married another guy she was dating behind your back. And yet, you love her still. You‘re a good guy, Ozai.
O: (laughing) No one ever called me that before!
M: It‘s true. You‘re hurting. Your whole self esteem came crashing down when she ditched you for a farmer. I feel your sadness.
I kissed his head
M: I mean it. You‘re so loyal, that it breaks you. You got played and everyone needs to suffer because you can‘t punish those who have hurt and abandoned you.
O: Whenever I see my kids, I see her.
M: And in her you see your loving mother who also left you so early. You‘re haunted, you need to let go, move on, build a new life. All the violence in the world will not turn the clock back. I know you feel like destroying everything, but it’s not a solution. We’ll fix your broken heart and your complicated life. We‘ll work on it, here.
O: Is that the journey?
M: Part of it. Remember: you now have the freedom to just be Ozai, without the Firelord burden. People here will like you for who you are, not what crown you wear. You don‘t have to induce fear to be loved and respected.
O: Can you bend time? Make all this go away.
M: I so much wish I could. Doesn’t work that way, sorry.
I hugged him and whispered that I’d stay by his side.
O: Until you leave me too.
M: No, my love, you will leave me eventually, but I will always remember and preserve you in my heart.
Ozai closed his eyes. Then he suddenly grabbed and hugged me, held me and kissed my head, then my lips.
O: Mya, you’re a gift from the gods!
M: Ozai, some people consider me a God.
O: Oh, I just fucked a goddess, my goddess of fuckbending.
Mya left to shower and to get dressed. Ozai let the hot water pour over his body. When he got dressed, Mya was already gone. Ozai went out to find her.
He stood in the living room and saw Mya on the terrace. She was sitting at a table. The cats, a black squirrel and the crow were listening to her attentively. Then he noticed that all the shrubs around her were full of songbirds. The ground was full of spiders. She let the crow fly, it let out a craw and was answered by a thousandfold other crow voices. The cats and squirrel ran, so did the wave of spiders. All songbirds flew out and darkened the sun for a brief moment, before they also flew away.
She turned around.
M: Ozai, you are here.
O: What was this?
M: My messengers flew out. I need to know about the state of the worlds.
Mya smiled and approached him. Ozai felt uneasy. This was a type of magic that he had never seen in his world. He was weary of women with mystic powers, he had been burnt once already...
M: We have had two wonderful days, but now it is time to get to work.
O: What are you talking about?
M: I have to hand in a report with your progress and we need to make quick strides. Follow me!
Mya led Ozai through the garden downhill over stone steps. At the bottom of the path they reached a road and next to it was an arena with stone figures.
M: This is the place where we will rediscover your firebending - without carnal pleasures. You can train here.
O: But my bending is gone.
M: We will see. I want you to be ready to use your craft when your bending powers return. I can also show you some new tricks. Clench a fist, yes, but stronger. Don’t let go!
Mya pointed with one finger and then hit his nerve superfast. His fist sprang open involuntarily.
O: Aah! What was that?!?
M: Speed, element of surprise and detailed knowledge of human anatomy.
O: My hand is still sore!
M: I use this if my opponent has a dagger.
O: Honourable warriors don’t fight like this.
M: Not all foes have honour.
O: ...
M: Show me some forms, I want to learn.
Mya and Ozai spent the day practicing forms. As a Timelord Mya had the unique talent to empathize so greatly with people that she would literally replicate them and their abilities. Ozai was a great firebending teacher and more patient than Mya would have expected. After an hour Ozais hands started to smoke and a small flame showed. He was very excited.
O: My power is returning! But, how?
M: You are using firebending for altruistic reasons: you are teaching and helping me. And you’re a motivated teacher. As the Avatar said: to not use it for evil purposes or against others.
After hours passed, Mya had also managed to produce some smoke and Ozai left again for the house.
In the evening Mya wrote her first report.
Report 1: Week 1
This is an account of prisoner Ozais progress.
Ozai is a deeply conflicted person who has detachment issues and who resorts to rash decisions when under extreme internal or external pressure. He has a manic-depressive disorder. In his manic episodes, he shows megalomaniac tendencies, while his depressive side is more subdued. In those episodes, he tends to make self-harming decisions.
Without the shell of his function as Firelord there are traces of kindness. His empathy needs cultivation.
We have these points, which I want to stress in him:
Detachment and inner balance
Cultivation of empathy
Balance
Coping with stressors to avoid triggers
Developing maturity
Sense of self
Responsible decision-making
The same evening, cozied up in his arms in front of the fireplace, we also recorded another session:
Session 5:
M: So, we’re back on tape. Ozai, how are you?
O: Fine. I feel good.
M: Zuko was worried about your dignity. All intact?
O: You showed me that nasty trick and my hand feels dead... other than that all dignified and good.
M: Anything you want to say?
O: I wish that you could also talk to Azula, but I worry for your safety if you did.
M: With her I would take on another approach, not one that might remind her of her mother.
O: I tried my best when they were small, but being a father and a firelord at war, it is hard not to confuse both roles. One gets used to ... violence.
M: Everything was meant to fail from the beginning. And all parents fail their kids. They’re both alive and fierce.
O: Zuko hates me. I am concerned about Azula. My wife... I should have protected Azula from her scheming. I was totally focused on myself, Firenation and the siege on Ba Sing Se.
M: Are you convinced that Zuko hates you? Does it make you sad?
O: Sad?...
M: He‘s the one pestering me about your dignity and your wellbeing...
O: ... I wasn‘t aware of that. It pleases me to hear that. But that boy is just too soft to stand the hardships of being a Firelord. All those Agni Kais I had to fight against usurping generals to strengthen my position. Some of which I had considered personal friends! All those hours I had to learn tactics, strategy, negotiation skills... only to find out that sometimes brute force was the only viable solution. He hasn’t fought or learnt one of these lessons. His days are numbered.
M: Here, a jasmine tea flower. Let me pour you a cup. Close your eyes, feel it.
O: A symbol of love?
M: Of love and redemption.
O: I guess I could use both...
M: You can get love from me, redemption is yours to make.
Ozai was tired after the recording. I sat next to him and took his hand.
M: Things will improve.
O: There are still people who consider me the real god given Firelord. Zuko should have killed me to take the throne.
M: He cares too much about you to do that. Do you still want to be Firelord?
O: More than anything else.
I caressed his face, those beautiful warm coloured but cold eyes. He closed them. Was he yet revealing too much? He seemed sad. We sat next to each other for a while. Then he looked at me, got up and left. I found him in his room. As I wanted to enter, he bid me to leave.
O: I am your prisoner. I want to be alone. Give me some privacy to meditate.
M: Of course.
I retreated.
He sat down to meditate, but he could not concentrate. He had to think about her all the time. He was falling for her and he did not like much of what she said, although it felt true. He missed her touch, her voice, her body... he thought about her all the time. He was falling in love. His heart was on fire.
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ENMY Chapter 84 - Crownless War God
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/539889d95c125c75d103cc36ebe371bc/tumblr_inline_pncjts0JSO1qgzqrt_540.jpg)
Series Synopsis:
Team RWBY is disbanded, and Yang must find herself new allies. For her, that might very well be yesterday’s enemies. Joining up with the likes of Emerald, Mercury, and Neo, the four will comprise Team Enemy(ENMY).
Links to read the series: Ao3 or FF.net
Or hit the jump below
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Narrated by Emerald Sustrai
(Previously on ENMY)
Okay, where to begin?
Well, Salem declared war on Vacuo, sending Cuckoos, a type of parasitic Grimm, to infiltrate the Kingdom’s capital.
At the same time, the Witch took a crack at splitting my team apart—and succeeded.
Yang thinks Neo killed a kid, which was actually impersonated by a Grimm. The two get into some real relationship problems (the kind that takes more than a few couple therapy sessions to fix). Merc’s deep-seated daddy issues catch up to him. Oh, yeah. I also killed a couple of Cuckoos pretending to be my parents. But, hey. I dealt with my family/abandonment issues like—what, two, three arcs ago? So whatevs.
Some more dramatic shit happens when Temujin gives us a job to bring back Professor Oobleck from the Tower. We run into a creepy-ass Grimm who likes riddles (in the form of spouting gibberish and mindfucking, apparently). Neo and Mercury don’t pass Giza’s test, and head back to Vacuo without us.
After me and Yang reach the Tower of Alexandria, we learn about the true history of Remnant. That, and the end of the world via the Tree of Balance’s reset mechanism (good going, Masa), and by extension, the Last Fairy Tale.
While we’re using the Tower’s resources to read intel on Salem’s side, Vacuo’s capital comes under attack. The first battle between the Grimm army and the Kingdom’s warriors is ended prematurely when Glynda Goodwitch forces the enemy commander to retreat tactical, magic-nuclear styles.
But we learn later the battle was only a distraction to let assassins infiltrate the city. Attacks are carried throughout the Kingdom. Taking advantage of us not around, Neo and Mercury also become targets.
After some (short)deliberation, me and Yang decide to use an experimental, top-secret thing we can only call the “Bridge Project”. Cause of that, we were able to warp-drive from the Tower to the city in time to save our partners. I got to shiv some cold-steel irony between ribs nine and ten of Mercury’s douchebag of a cousin, Jupiter. And Yang got to save Neo from Adam and Blake (very dramatic, parallels stuff). Finally, some checks in the win column.
After the couple’s reunion, and having read Summer’s romance biography with Raven, Yang decides to pop the question to Neo.
To which, our resident psychopath says, “yEs”.
They both get married (blegh). Yes, it was very touching. Apparently, they also exchanged Auras, which I have no idea what that means yet.
Blakes goes a little bit more crazy after hearing about their marriage (just a little bit), and it actually gets her to shake off Salem’s influence. Deciding that her future vessel isn’t quite up to the task yet, the Witch decides to see to the war personally. (i.e. the big bad herself arrives in Vacuo…)
Meanwhile, after letting the bosses know what we learned at the Tower, Vacuo and Atlas officially enter an alliance. Cinder and the Snow Queen send a fleet of airships, due to arrive somewhere in a week’s time. Truly, nothing brings people together more than an approaching apocalypse, headed by some crazy bitch everyone hates.
And then, and then, and then—
Seeing as we made such good pals with Vacuo, I decided to take some liberties with that. Needed to have a private chat with the boss, so I had my team create a (little)distraction. It really wasn’t that bad, they just fought a few palace guards and Chain Nai.
We got arrested, cause that’s somehow fair.
Good times.
And now, the Vacuo Arc continues!
So excited…
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Crownless War God
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I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to death
Nor known to life.
Having withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet these hands will never hold anything.
My life is an Unlimited Blade Works.
.
.
“…I wonder how long they plan to keep us here,” Yang muttered, while staring at the ceiling. She must have counted the number of bricks a hundred times by now. “I mean, no one even got hurt…badly.”
“Yeah,” Mercury replied. “I bet you anything Temujin just wants to mess with us.”
“If we broke out, and saw her the next morning, she’d probably act like nothing even happened.”
In her team’s dank prison cell, Yang lied restlessly on her cot with Neo snuggled under her arm. Mercury was sitting with his back against the wall, staring out the window into the night sky. And Emerald sat cross-legged in deep mediation.
“I just wish there was some way to past the time,” Yang complained.
There is, Neo looked at her suggestively.
“Definitely, not into exhibitionism.”
“Please, don’t,” Mercury added. “I’d rather run a death simulation marathon before sitting through that.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
“I was kidding.”
“Hey, Em!” Yang shouted to their leader in the corner. “How about you run us a hallucination, already? I’m thinkin’ my mom, Cinder, Pyrrha, and Victoria. Or maybe, some Nightmare-Class Grimm? We could practice for when Salem’s army shows up.”
Emerald remained silent.
“…Helloooo?”
Emerald’s temple creased with a vein.
“I’m getting bored heeerreeee~”
“Would you shut up?!” Emerald finally snapped. “I’m trying to concentrate!”
“You’ve been doing that since forever. What are you trying to do, anyway?”
“Yes, Yang. By all means, I’ll tell you exactly what I’m doing, out loud—while the prison guards listen on every word of our conversation.”
“Soooo, what are you doing?”
“Kay. Not listening anymore. La la la la la~”
“Em~!”
“LA LA LA LA~!!”
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X X X X X
.
…
I was dead.
I’m sure I was well and truly dead.
…
My body and soul sunk into the deepest depths. I don’t know what it was, but I swear, to this day—I grasped something at the core of our world. Some form of enlightenment, perhaps?
And then, I felt the very hells of Vacuo spit me back out.
*Cough!*
When I woke, I tasted nothing but ash and sand in my mouth. I could feel the sun roasting my skin. There was no way to know how long I had been out there.
As soon as I could get my bearings straight, I immediately wished I hadn’t.
It was a pit of corpses. The naked dead piled on more naked dead. All dignity stripped away. Their souls gone, leaving only dry husks. They were mutilated, they were burned, they were cruelly disected into even segments.
I remembered what happened.
They experimented on us. They sought the secret to eternal life, forced us to take toxic amounts of Dust and Bane.
We were nothing but lab animals to them, and they killed us by the thousands without batting an eye.
And when we were no longer of use, they discarded us out in the middle of the desert—like common refuse.
I was in a panic. My memories were becoming clearer. Our parents were with me.
My hands searched the bodies around. I can still remember that feeling to this day, the sensation forever carved in my memories. Tender flesh and hollow bones. The final moments of countless lives, recorded in every corpse’s face.
Anguish, fear, despair.
The loss of hope.
…
And then, I found them.
I don’t know how I could possibly have known. My experience with death had undoubtedly changed my senses.
There was nothing left of our mother and father, save for a pair of charred black ribs.
I could feel Vacuo suffocating me, or was that the grief?
I cried at the heavens through a throat that no longer worked.
My mind ceased to function. I became something base, primal. I could only feel.
…
And all I was became Rage.
…
The concentration of negativity drew the Grimm. Monstrosities circled me, the lone survivor. A girl who could not fathom what was happening.
And it was that moment, I digressed further. I was no longer something I would call sentient.
Not a living thing.
Not an organism.
Lesser, simpler.
An element.
My baptism—the Awakening of my Semblance was performed by none other than the Heart of Vacuo itself.
I was its nature.
I was its storm.
My Aura merged with my surroundings, and I felt the Kingdom answer my call.
The bones of my parents would be the very first weapons I would ever forge.
They made the finest of blades.
I struck down my first foes with them.
Once they were spent, I sough my next set of “weapons”,
And I realized everything became a weapon to my touch.
The fallen corpses of Vacuo became my next blades.
And the next.
And the next…
Until all my enemies were nothing but dust in the wind.
…
What returned was no longer a nameless slave.
It had devolved—
I became a Fang.
The Fang of Vacuo.
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X X X X X
.
As soon as I reached the city, I was able to find my brother.
Shepherd had avoided the mass abductions for the experiments. He was lucky.
As lucky as one can be, having his parents and only sibling go missing for several months.
He could see the change in me… the violence I could control at my fingertips.
Sometimes, I look back and wonder…
Did he embark on his pacifist crusade to save Vacuo’s soul—or mine.
…
Or maybe, he tried to save Vacuo from me.
How ironic, but so very fitting.
If they never took his life through their Third Crusade, they would never have seen one light of my wrath.
He was so foolish.
I warned him. I knew the world would turn on him and others like him.
The corrupt always justify themselves to the righteous through strength.
No. While my brother tried to offer redemption for those crooked souls, I took my time finding those who would rise with me, when his ambitions failed.
Chain Nai was a champion of the Gladiator Arenas. He had “won” his freedom, but the ones controlling the games propagated the backstory, he stayed to fight for the thrill and honor.
Peh! What nonsense. Still, their foolishness would ultimately work to my favor.
Nai was the only one to ever defeat me during my time as a gladiator, and I was the only one to ever face him in a fair match, and live.
He would become my first general, my first Khan. The Fist of Vacuo, many would later proclaim him.
…
My friendship with Minerva was unexpected, to say the least.
By then, I was forming the first vestiges of the Red Fang, when I heard about a single Faunus massacring a small army of Human aristocrats.
I sought her out eagerly, entertaining the idea I had found one similar to myself.
But Minerva could not be more different.
She was originally an attendant to a young noble. A Human who researched Magic and even managed to learn a few tricks himself.
Minerva and the man fell in love. He taught her what he learned, and surprising them both, found she had a gift for Magic.
Rumor spread. A romantic relationship between Human and Faunus was forbidden. They were inevitably caught.
…
They lynched the poor man, and hung his body from the roof of his house.
Minerva joined me the moment I asked her.
She became my second Khan.
The Sorceress of Vacuo.
.
X X X X X
.
I…
I do not look back as fondly on our first meeting as Raven probably does.
When I first found her, she hid behind a miner’s mask. The shovel in her hands was covered in blood. A tiny thing, but she held onto it like a sword made to smite all those who would do her and her brother harm.
I didn’t think much of her at first. I had seen countless children like her in my travels.
But when she removed her mask, I found myself captivated.
The way she stared at me through her tears. A fire of defiance, but at the same time, a purity—an innocence.
I lost myself in that moment.
Raven looked to me like a little goddess of death. So precious and deadly. I don’t believe in a god or a heaven, but if such things ever existed, I could only think they sent her to me.
I embraced her without thought, and she wept openly in my arms. I didn’t know little goddesses could cry.
In time, I believed she would one day become my third Khan. The greatest of my generals and a stronger warrior than myself or Nai.
But she needed time.
…
And in that time, Raven would become someone I would care for deeply as a daughter. Less than the weapon I wanted her to be at our first meeting. The compassion I thought I lost, was returned to me by her, and her alone.
My brother and I sent her and Qrow to Vale, hoping they would find a better life.
I’d never seen Raven as furious as the day we saw her off for Beacon Academy. But I was fine with it. Even if she grew hating me for the rest of her life, I was content.
I would wage my war without Raven. I was satisfied with that thought.
…
For a moment, I may have believed in my brother’s campaign of nonviolence. After all, what did I have to lose should he succeed?
I would satiate my bloodlust some other way, I was sure.
When he inevitably failed, I promised I would be there. I would protect him, nurse his wounds and ego— give him the older sibling’s “I told you so”.
…
They killed Shepherd, and I practically let them.
I let my own brother fall.
And like all things, I turned him and the very memory of him into a weapon.
His death caused an outrage.
And I used it to wage the war I always wanted, the war I waited every day for.
…
Nai was more than ready. Minerva was at my side.
…
Raven had returned to Vacuo a few years before. She left her child behind for me. And I foolishly welcomed back my goddess of death as the Third Khan I always dreamt she would be.
I sent the younger generation like Blake, Ilia, and Adam to fight my battles. Be it to die on the frontlines or execute the defenseless in the rear, it did not matter.
My war was waged.
The three Khans, as well as their Great Khan, laid ruin to countless Crusaders.
In time, I won my Vacuo.
And when I finally sat on that cursed throne in the Hanging Gardens, I felt something I hadn’t felt since before I died—since before my rebirth in that desert all those years ago.
I was afraid.
.
X X X X X
.
The moment we won Vacuo, I saw a room filled with the faces of those I loved.
Every life I touched, turned into a weapon before my very eyes.
And I was overcome.
…
One word, and they would march.
A single command, and a Kingdom of blades would have ravaged the world of Remnant without mercy.
I doubt even Salem would have been able to stop that.
…
I had made weapons of everyone I had ever cared for.
And when I held the crown made of the blood and souls I had sacrificed to, I learned I did not want it.
But I couldn’t let anyone else have it either.
Who knows what insanity someone else could do with what I built.
Vacuo would be ruler-less. And I would play the guard dog until someone suitable could claim the throne. Someone who would not lead our people down a path of destruction.
Minerva would have proven adequate, but she wanted to help create a brighter future through its children. Perhaps, inspired by her lost love, she decided to become an educator for eager minds. And the Headmaster of Shade Academy came to be.
For a time, I also believed Blake could take the throne. But she held no desire to play such a role. Guilt-ridden by the things she did under my order, she wanted the life of a Huntress to atone. She wanted to do good, not rule. The least I could do was support her.
…
And then, I finally found them.
A pair of siblings, Mouse and Knives Rakis. Their mother gave birth to them, while suffering the symptoms of Dust Poisoning. They were born with a few health complications, but more importantly, their capricious circumstances allowed them to develop Silver Eyes. I can only assume the large consumption of Dust and Bane awakened some ancestry connected to the Fairies.
Both were absolutely gifted— young, malleable, bright. They could share the throne of Vacuo and lead our people to prosperity.
What greater rulers could there be than those with a Semblance to predict the future?
They were young and ready to be groomed. But as their abilities developed, they revealed to me the fates to befall not only our Kingdom, but all of Remnant.
A world where every living being was wiped out.
We worked to make sure such a future never came to be, but all efforts so far have failed.
Until a slight deviation occurred in the prediction. The timeline corrected itself almost immediately, but more of these “alterations” appeared as time went on.
It was only recently, we were able to match the deviations with certain events happening outside our Kingdom…
A war over some Grimm-infested isles.
Rumors of a young team of mercenaries waging battle at Tower trapped in a storm.
A newly christened Spring Maiden.
The resurrection of the Fall Maiden.
The usurping of the Atlas Kingdom.
…
“Sound familiar?”
In the open desert, watching a swirling storm of floating debris, two figures stood. The dreamscape showed the fluttering pages in the hurricane to be the host’s memories. Like Yang’s and Neo’s before, Emerald found herself traversing Temujin’s “Soul”.
“Sound familiar?” Temujin repeated her question.
“Yeah, it’s pretty obvious,” she rubbed her arm uncertainly. “Guess, it’s too late to say sorry for making you dream about your past.”
“Eh,” the other simply shrugged.
Though she tried to play it off lightly, Emerald could see the forlorn sentiment lingering in Temujin’s heart. Emotions were amplified in the host’s dreams. The mint-haired girl saw the deepest contents, and was taken back by what she found there.
There was something else after Temujin’s recollections. Something she didn’t say aloud. A secret she kept from everyone, including Minerva and especially Raven.
Before the end of Remnant, there was an event preceding it that the Rakis siblings foretold and feared.
The Death of Vacuo.
…
Unable to stand the silence any longer, Emerald spoke.
“You’re pretty critical of yourself,” she said passively.
“Oh? I’ve said nothing but the truth.”
“In my experience, people always make their pasts worse than they actually were. But thanks for the story.”
“Hm. Is that all you have to say?”
Emerald looked down for a moment.
“…You’re too arrogant,” she finally said. “The people who followed you chose to follow you. You didn’t turn them into weapons. They decided to fight for themselves. Thinking you had any actual control over them is nothing but arrogance.”
“Hmmm… Maybe, so. Is that what your team is to you?”
“Obviously. I can’t make my idiots care about me. And they do it anyway, even if I don’t want them to.”
Temujin gave a dry chuckle.
“If only you were born earlier, and had been raised in Vacuo. You would have made a fine Khan.”
“Not even in your dreams, lady.”
“Current topics aside, you are rather talented.”
“Just a little bit.” Emerald rubbed her nails on her chest, and breathed a huff. “I’ve hallucinated dreams before, but this was some new level shit.”
“Heh heh heh,” Temujin gave another hollow chuckle, and grasped the younger woman’s arm in a firm grip.
“This talent of yours gives me an idea.”
.
.
.
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NOTES
Q: Schedule?
A: Nope. Can’t make one. Tried. Chapters comes out when they’re finished.
Q: CinderxNeo (sinnamon spice/spicecream) fic?
A: Ugh. Kind of, maybe, interested, but I don’t see the romance aspect? But I do think they could make one of the best partnerships in RWBY in general. Maybe a platonic sidequest in the future during the hiatus? No promises.
But, yes. I’d love to write something about the two of them. That would be fun. (Message suggestions?)_
Q: Ever think of writing a lemon(smut fic?)?
A: No. Not interested in writing pure smut.
Q: Ever think of writing a romance fic?
A: No. I don’t have that ability. It would end up being too short.
Q: Kingdom Hearts fic?
A: Maybe. Not immediately, if ever. Have a rough idea of a party consisting of Aqua, Lightning, (young)Tadashi, (and Balthier or Fran?). One of the worlds they visit is Atlantis or Treasure Planet.
Q: What do you think of toxic wasps and bumbley shippers/drama?
A: …What?
(Googles)
Oh. I had no idea there was stuff like that happening in the RWBY community.
…
I got nothin’. I barely pay attention to stuff outside the show as it is. Feels like a lot of noise I just don’t understand. Welp, time to write the next chapter.
.
As always, thank you for reading.
See you, when I see you.
-Nezz
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We received a fantastic application for Jake Puckerman, and we’re really excited to have Ally join our family. Please take a moment to go over the New Member Checklist, and send in your account within 24 hours.
OOC:
NAME: Ally
PREFERRED PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: getting closer to 30 than 20.
TIMEZONE: EST
ACTIVITY LEVEL (1-10): I’m going to say around a 7. I’m a teacher, and even though it’s approaching summer, I’ll still be working during that time. I’ll still get on to get replies in daily though.
OLD ROLEPLAY ACCOUNTS: RFP
ANYTHING ELSE: RFP
IC:
CHARACTER’S NAME: Jacob Raleigh Puckerman
CHARACTER’S BIRTHDAY: June 12th
CHARACTER’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straightt
SHIPS: Jake/chemistry
ANTI-SHIPS: Jake/no chemistry
MIDGAME SHIPS: Jake/Kitty, Jake/Mercedes, Jake/Marley
CHARACTER TWEETS:
@jakeraleigh: Not even going to lie. I’m definitely getting a Rhomphim. They look so damn comfortable.
@jakeraleigh: Life goal complete. The people at In and Out know my order without a word from me.
@jakeraleigh: I don’t know why, but no spot can beat wings from a strip club.
BIOGRAPHY:
From the moment Jacob was born, he felt like a bit of a dirty secret. He knew his mother loved him, but that didn’t change the fact that there was clearly something very taboo about him. Articles and TV segments was done about him due to his mother’s fame and the secrecy of his father. They pointed to his lighter skin complexion, his mother’s recent project with David Puckerman, and how his mother claimed to have given him her maiden name. Luckily, the paparazzi had enough decency to not crowd him too much, but there were still the questions. His mother did her best to keep him busy though and showered him with all the love she could give which made things easier. After all, there wasn’t much more that a boy of five could want.
Being in acting was never something that Jacob was particularly interested in. He loved what his mom did and enjoyed being on sets with her since everyone spoiled him rotten, but he never made the conscious decision to pursue it. It wasn’t until a director mentioned to his mom how he could be perfect for the role of a son in a series he was shooting that he even began practicing. It was around the same that he had also become good friends with Jane Hayward who was working with his mom on her new movie which only helped get things moving. His mother couldn’t help but laugh when he went from disinterest to excitement when his new friend mentioned just how awesome it all was. From there, the best coaches were hired, which Jake thought was silly because his mom was the best one he could have, and it wasn’t long until his career was rolling.
Everything was going rather smoothly as the years passed. Jacob’s show was doing well, and there were even talks of him appearing in a movie with Will Smith which was rather big news for a boy who loved Men in Black. However, the calm appeared to only be preparing him for the storm because one morning news about his father’s identity was everywhere. His mom didn’t have the time to prepare him because even though she had recently began talking to his father again, she didn’t think he would tell his wife so soon. The whirlwind that happened afterwards caused more turmoil for the boy than it appeared. His life went from him believing it was just him and his mom against the world to having a man he didn’t know but was supposed to love in his house. Add to that the “brother” he had who couldn’t stand him and blamed him for something he didn’t even do, and Jake began to pull away. It was in small ways, but enough for his mom to suggest therapy.
Months of talking to a stranger didn’t truly help, but his dad’s persistence eventually did. David attended sessions with his son, and the trio even did family therapy. It seemed like the man was really trying, and he could see that his mom was happy, so he began to let go of his own anger. He forgave his mom for keeping secrets from him and just believed that it took his family a little longer to get together than most. For years, things seemed perfect, but he didn’t realize until he was thirteen how much of an allusion it all was. The three of them rarely spent time together due to them all being in separate projects, and when they did things were more superficial than ever. Talks rarely went beyond the basic small talks about work or asking how he was doing in school with his tutor before there was silence. His mom always gave him fake smiles to try and assure him all was well, but he could see the happiness in her fading.
A year later, everything came crashing down. David walked out on his mom just like he had on the woman before her, and Jake was left with the desire to be nothing like him. Promptly, he left acting to spend more time with his mom and focus on dance. The hobby that everyone told him he was naturally brilliant at became all he wanted to do. His mother could tell that her son was angry and constantly carried that with him, but he never wanted to talk about it. The woman wished that she could at least know what he was feeling, but the boy bottled it all up and instead pretended his father didn’t exist. He went back to using his mother’s maiden name as his own whenever possible and put on the facade that nothing mattered to him outside of his mom.
While dance was something he excelled at for the ten years he immersed himself in it, he quickly realized that it wasn’t nearly as stable of a career as acting was. There were some options, but the stress of it all took away from the passion he had for the art. He didn’t want to look at it as a paycheck, so he started thinking about other forms of work. it wasn’t until he heard a rumor that people thought he wouldn’t go back to acting because he was afraid of not being able to come out from under the shadow his father’s scandal put on him that he decided to go back. If there was one thing he loved, it was making people eat their words, so he started auditioning again. He swore he would surpass his father, and when he got his first callback with Performing the Arts, he thought it was perfect. He would be able to act while having dance be a part of it as well.
YOUR CHARACTER’S HEAD CANON FOR THEIR CHARACTER:
Jake is excited that he’s playing a character he can relate to. For a long time he didn’t know who his father was, and his goal is to bring that life experience to life in his role. He is determined to not let the bitterness of his situation effect how it is portrayed and wants to remember that hope he once felt wondering who his father was. He wants Zane to look for his parents secretively due to him not wanting to hurt the parents who raised him his whole life. He also wants Zane to be a bit more shy than he is. Since he has a crush on Eden that’s gone on for so long, he figured that was a good path to take.
Zane is cool being an outcast and focusing on dance. He would rather focus on his art and the close friends he has than worry about popularity. Even though he’s a good looking guy, he doesn’t have a big ego.
Jake also portrays Zane as someone who can’t sit still. He always seems to have a beat running through him which often leads to feet tapping or fidgeting.
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hello friends.
last night i had a dream that i was being drafted onto a fishing boat “until september.” this fishing boat was too small for the crew and had no actual rooms or cabins. it was basically a raft with a steering wheel and a sail.
i had to wait in line to get on the boat. i’m not sure why. the other people weren’t getting on the boat. also the line was in a river. so i was getting super soggy and uncomfortable.
the dream took place near the, uh, dream port. there are several ports that appear in my dreams. judging from the sun’s position while traveling there previously it should be to the east, but the sun usually doesn’t work right in my dreams. and the stars always are in the wrong places, or the wrong color, or there is something bizarre and out of place in the sky. it seriously freaks me out. i don’t know why it’s so scary, but it inspires the same level of absolute terror in me that, say, a monster would.
when i put my alarm on snooze i not only managed to fall back asleep, but i had an entire dream in the span of about 20 minutes. it was another “episode” of “steven universe.” these dreams are often a little more violent but less, i guess, horrible for me. the emotion i most often experience in these dreams is confusion, usually brought on by “wait a second. the characters are here, but this isn’t the show at all.” i am not usually able to recognize that with other fictional characters that show up.
most of that dream (after a surprisingly violent and gruesome scene-setter) was spent laying around on a tiny spaceship. it was basically a space raft with a steering wheel and a sail.
you know who i dream about a lot? the ninja turtles. i only saw like two episodes of the 1980s cartoon. but it’s always in that style. i am not even that interested in the show. i mean, i like it, but i don’t love it.
there was someone else in my dream. kind of lurking and not participating. i recognized them from several other dreams, but i don’t remember who it was.
anyway i got up and showered and colored for a while and neglected some chores. i forgot to get the box. i will try to remember tomorrow. then i went to make some oatmeal and discovered that the whole box expired in like 2015. i found one container that was still in date so i tried to eat that. i managed to get the whole thing down, but my stomach was not happy about it at all. then i went to group.
i actually talked for a while this time! i quibbled about my guilty feelings and my relationship with my mother. my group mates tried to reassure me a little bit, but i noticed that by the end of the session i couldn’t remember what they had said at all. my brain does a good job of snuffing out compliments and useful advice. i will have to start bringing some note paper.
i mean... i got the old “you’re very smart,” and the “you’re a good person,” and i can’t seem to bring myself to believe those things. i think it might be related to the guilt thing. where if i start thinking “i’m a good person” i’ll get, complacent i guess? i would stop trying to be a better person. i don’t know why this would be the case, but it is my fear. in order to keep striving for something i have to tell myself i haven’t reached it yet. or that the goal doesn’t mean anything. i need an even higher goal.
what might help is rephrasing these goals into an ongoing habit rather than a description of my personality. i practice being kind. i practice thinking hard. i practice being creative.
that way there is no goal! there is just a habit/skill that i want to have and continue having. the same as “i practice drawing.” i just got to want to practice something and then... start doing it, i guess.
but i need to figure out what it is i want to practice in order to stop feeling like a garbage person, and if practicing that is really going to stop me from feeling like a garbage person.
anyway, i got home and watched some youtube vids and played with the dogs a little bit. mom left for a concert so i ordered pizza for dinner for myself and my brother... gettin tired of pizza again. while i waited for the delivery i sat downstairs and colored more. then i had some pizza, which was really painful actually. then i took wiley for a walk! we were out about, i don’t know, it seemed like 35 minutes. it wasn’t nearly as long as yesterday.
when i got home i looked at a few more videos and then i colored for another, like, hour and a half while i talked to one of the people on the discord channel i frequent. he was having some problems so i decided i had enough energy to talk about it and tried to listen and ask questions instead of give advice. i don’t know if i succeeded. i am getting really bad at interacting with people again... i forgot how to be a friend.
i seem to have misplaced my emotions for relating to other people. maybe it is because i was feeling lonely and got numb about it? or maybe tonight i am just burned out from therapy. i was a little concerned about it last night too though. i think about people i care about, i know i care about them, but i don’t feel the emotions i labeled as “caring” or “fondness.” i just feel nothing.
it’s not as bad with the dogs... i think it helps that i see them every day. i see wiley and i think, “that’s wiley. i care about him. he seems well.” and i feel a little less sad, but not more happy. maybe hanging out with asher tomorrow will help a little bit too. though he is leaving for canada again on friday, so i won’t see him for three or four weeks after that. i will have to look elsewhere for companionship.
i was thinking about maybe getting in touch with some of the people in my group, but i am not sure about the type of relationship i should build with them. it depends on how i approach bonding i guess. i don’t want a student/mentor sort of friendship, but i know that will be really hard to avoid if i help them with homework, and also i am much older. and if we become facebook friends i know i am never going to actually hang out with them in person.
i hope i am being vague enough to protect their privacy... i avoid talking about what they bring up, but the stuff i bring up i usually want to write more about in the journal here, so i just kind of mention that there are other people present...
i finished coloring the picture. i will scan it tomorrow probably. i have a lot to do in the morning. i need to call my doctor about one last test she wants to do, i need to put together a list of people i want to invite to my graduation party in july before i leave for grad school, i need to find a jar for the anxiety box, and i need to go to goodwill to get cosplay materials. then in the afternoon i’m gonna hang out with asher and we will maybe get indian food using the coupon the nice waiters gave me several weeks ago. it is a raffle style coupon, so i don’t actually know what i will get a discount on until i bring it back to them to open.
last time we went i forgot to bring it and asher teased me that the waiter had a certain look when he gave me the coupon which means it must be the grand prize of a free meal. i wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. but we don’t interact nearly enough to warrant asking for his facebook details.
i also need to finish the homework i got from group today and look over the materials we got. friday will hopefully not be too busy, i might cook something, but on saturday i am going to raven’s graduation party. and then on sunday i am hanging out with linda and david again for a few hours. hopefully i won’t have any time to get depressed!!
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○○ eyez | forty-seven
“So—how are we doing this week, Beija?”
Dr. Masri’s office seemed to be almost identical to Dr. Hill’s—the soft and calming colors of the walls were something almost sedative to the senses, and considering the woman’s line of work, she probably did that on purpose. Photos of her past work around the world aligned the walls, from working with children and women traumatized by war in the middle east to working through philanthropic efforts in Eastern Asia and Africa. Her furniture, unlike the soft and creamy walls, were pops of bright oranges and teals. She seemed just as warm as her furniture—she was short and shapely, only being a couple inches taller than Beija. Her long hair was always braided down her back but today, it was piled on her head in a bun. Her rich brown skin and round cheeks gave her an almost youthful look, but judging by the numerous college degrees upon her walls, she was more than likely in her mid-50s at the least.
“We’re doing okay. Been doing he morning meditation as you asked me to. I still take my quiet times during Janiya’s naps. I stick to my medication and I pretty much write down everything I need to,” Beija held up her notebook that served as her journal. “I finally made my decision about having more children with Jermaine,” She added.
“Oh? And what did you tell him?” The woman asked.
“I decided that I was ready. It was never a question of whether or not I wanted more children...it was if I was mentally ready,” Beija sat her notebook in her lap, looking out the window at the flurry of buildings that cluttered the downtown area. The rain was trickling down, leaving a soft and rhythmic patter against the floor to ceiling window. The sky was a murky grey color, and the sun seemed to struggle to push through the swollen clouds. Even with such gloomy weather, Beija’s mood didn’t align with it. Her neutrality seemed to be pushing through for the moment.
“I remember we spoke of this last session. You had a complicated delivery with your daughter and you said that you feared going through that a second time,” Dr. Masri reminded.
“Yes. I also fear that something bad will happen even if they are born ‘correctly,’” Beija admitted.
“And this is caused by the loss of your brother, right?” Beija nodded at Masri’s assumption, and the woman wrote down some more notes. “We’ve already established that you have a fixation with control—how have you been able to deal with that?” She asked.
“I have been relying more upon my faith, mostly...” Beija began before she tucked some hair behind her ear. “I have been praying more. I talked to my mother and my friend about this; my mother told me something interesting. That some trials are for God to teach me something and no0t just to inconvenience me. That not everything is Satan trying to hurt me,” She responded.
“I find that to be an important piece of advice! Some people do believe that when bad things happen, an even force must be blamed for it. Sometimes it’s really just the universe trying to build you up for something better,” Masri explained, taping the end of her pen against her thigh quickly. “Also, it’s good to trust yourself in situations like this. We let the chatter of science and probability get in the way of the human body. We are intricate beings...we can do so much more than we could ever imagine,” She said.
“Hm...I’m sure that’s true. But even with that said, I still have to deal with my depression. Even if everything goes right, there’s a chance that I might slip into another episode. Even though I’m already going through motherhood, my mind can still mess with me,” Beija said softly. “I’m trying to lean more upon my husband because I know he will be there for me, but...”
“But?”
“I can’t help but to feel like I am putting too much on him,” Beija ran a hand over her hair before she huffed. “And I get it—we exchanged vows, so we made the promise to each other to carry each other’s burdens. But there’s so much that he may be feeling that he won’t tell me,” She said.
“He keeps secrets from you?” Masri asked, and Beija shook her head slowly.
“Well not...secrets,” She began. “He recently put out an album—it’s our story. It’s things he felt about me from when we met, to when I told him about Rashaad, my suicide attempt, our wedding, our daughter...everything we went through, good and bad,” Beija looked out the window again. “I am an advocate for honesty, so I’m not angry with him about that. But I felt like I was the ‘last’ to know. I experienced his emotions when everyone else did. I feel like I should be his diary—sure, his music is his own therapy...but I’m his wife, right? I should know,” She sighed.
“Maybe Jermaine doesn’t want to feel like he is placing too much upon you either,” Masri wrote down some more notes as she spoke. “From what you tell me and from the group sessions that we have had, you two are very alike. That can sometimes serve to you two clashing,” She said.
“Okay, I mean that’s fine but I’m almost 29 years old. He’s about to be 34. We’re not children—I’m not a child. I don’t need to be coddled. If he feels something, I want him to express it to me,” Beija sighed softly. “But that’s something I have to speak to him about. I can’t expect him to depend on me either if I won’t depend on him,” She said.
“I think that’s truly insightful—you can’t ask for anything you can’t give,” Masri said before she glanced down at her watch. “Well, that’s all we have for this session,” The two women stood up before shaking hands. “You’re doing a great job here, Beija. Same time next week?”
“Same time next week.”
Beija left the office before she approached the nurse’s desk, paying for the session and setting up the next appointment. She fixed her purse upon her shoulder before she took her umbrella from inside it. Once she walked outside she opened her umbrella, glancing around before she hurried to her car. She slipped inside before starting up the car and once she was secured, she headed through the slick streets before she made a stop at the hair salon that she usually went to. She had an appointment to get her hair done, so now it was time to fulfill that.
She stepped out of the car and headed inside before she took a look around, walking over to the receptionist. “Hey Leona,” Beija greeted the woman at the desk.
The head full of blue and black rope braids glanced up before giving Beija a bright smile. “Hey, girl! You here to see Mia?” She asked, and Beija nodded. “Her last client just left so go on in,” She said, and Beija gave a smile before she waked through towards the main salon area.
The salon wasn’t full of people as usual due to the weather, but it was just enough to seem like there was some life inside the place. Beija laid eyes on her usual beautician, and she smiled before the two shared a hug. “Hi there Mimi. How are you?” She asked.
“I’m great, despite this fucking weather,” Mia flipped her hair over her shoulder as Beija took a seat, sitting her purse in her lap. “So what are we doing today? Deep condition and a twist?” She asked.
“Uhm...” Beija bit her lip for a moment as Mia turned her chair so that she was facing the mirror. “I want you to cut it,” She said.
“Wait...what? Like, all of it?” Beija nodded, and Mia sucked her teeth. “Lady, are you out your mind? I haven’t seen anyone with hair as healthy as yours! You’ve been growing this for how long?” She asked.
“Nearly 29 years now,” Beija said, and she licked over her lips before she shook her head. “But maybe that’s the problem. I want something different. I can grow it back if I choose to, but I wanna cut it...” She nodded with finality. “Chop it off, Mia.”
“Well...you’re the customer,” Mia shrugged. “What style, boo?” She asked as she decided to grab the clippers first.
“I was thnking like Toni Braxton...maybe like her first album. Or...shit, maybe like Nia Long? I don’t know,” Beija laughed softly. “Wait...no. Do Toni, but when she got older. I need just enough that if I wanna slick it down, I can. Or if I want curls, I can have that,” She explained.
“Good choice. Let’s do this!” Mia exclaimed.
Once Mia cut Beija’s hair, she washed, conditioned, and curled it properly. Once Beija got to look at her hair, she was floored at how different she looked—she realized just how round her face was, but the cut seemed to compliment the shape of her face and head. She had spent so many years growing her hair, and it was a staple of her being. But maybe this was what she needed. She wanted to do something different and this was one way to do it. After paying for her haircut and style, she went by the local spa and got a facial, manicure and pedicure before returning home. She just felt like taking care of herself for the day.
Once she returned home, she walked through the garage door, hearing Janiya and Gina talking to one another. “Gina? I’m home,” She called out.
“Oh, hey! I just fed Janiya some lunch and...oh wow!” Gina squealed in excitement when she saw Beija’s hair. “You look gorgeous! I can’t believe you cut your hair,” She laughed.
“Yeah,” Beija ran a hand over the side of her head slowly, looking up in the mirror before smiling lightly. “I like it, though. It’s always good to change it up. What do you think, Niya?” She asked her dau0ghter, who was staring up at her.
“Wow,” Niya had learned a new word, and just like Jermaine, she stretched the word out dramatically. Beija laughed before she pecked the girl off of the couch to hold her. “Pretty,” She smiled.
“Thank you,” Beija laughed before kissing the tip of her nose.
Once Beija paid Gina for her time, she spent some time hanging out with Janiya before she laid the girl down for a nap. During that time, Beija got to work on the first event for the ‘Forever Boy Project.’ As she had told her mother, she wanted to make a charitable organization to bring relief to the families of victims of police brutality and violence. It was a bit easy to get it started due to it being a subordinate to the Dreamville Foundation, but the overall success would be up to Beija herself. She already had event planned—a masquerade event for Halloween, a Food Drive before Thanksgiving, and a Toy Drive before Christmas. But the two big events that Beija had to bring together for the new year was a weekend festival for the end of March, and the ‘Freedom Festival,’ the Fourth of July celebration that she had spoken to Alisha about. She wanted everything to go perfectly, and with the resources she had acquired, she was slowly getting everything together.
“Babe?” Her ears perked up when she heard the door open and the sound of Jermaine’s voice.
“Living room,” She said, and she stayed quiet as she continued to type away on her laptop.
“I wasn’t sure if you ate so I swung by the seafood spot and got you that alligator plate you liked...wow,” Beija looked back at Jermaine, who was staring at her as if he had just seen a ghostly figure. “I...wow. Your hair,” He walked over and sat next to her.
“What do you think? Not too bad, huh?” She said before she ran her hand over it briefly. “I wanted something new, and...I’ve been growing and caring for my hair literally all my life. It was time for something more...grown up,” She laughed.
“Shit...I do like it. It’s just a shock,” He chuckled a bit as he gently tugged at her ear. “You got round ears. And a round face. It’s cute,” He teased, laughing when she smacked his chest.
“Fuck off,” She laughed before she opened up the bag of food, and took a whiff of it before she grabbed a piece of fried alligator before popping it into her mouth, chewing quickly. “Okay so—here’s all the plans I drew up. We can have a charity masquerade ball on October 27th. Then the Food Drive the day before Thanksgiving, then the Toy Drive about two weeks before Christmas,” She explained.
“That sounds legit. This is for FBP, yeah?” He asked, and she nodded. “And what about for the 4th nest year? I need to know so I can take those days off the tour,” He explained.
“I got the groundwork done for the Freedom Festival. I was also thinking we could have another festival in March—Coachella is cute and all but fuck all that. I want to have something for us...something we can host, and it can be for charity. I already called up Shawn, Bey, and Robyn; they said once the plans are finalized they’d be on board. If I can get some more big names it’d definitely have a huge turnout,” She said.
“I fuck with it. I like all these ideas, baby. I’m proud of what you’re doing already,” She smiled as she felt J’s lips against her cheek. “How was your day, though? Did therapy go well?”
“Yeah, it went as good as it could go,” Beija sat back against the couch as she pulled her food carton into her lap, popping a French fry into her mouth before she glanced up at him. “I know I don’t usually talk about my sessions but...I wanna talk to you about something. It’s kind of been bothering me,” She said softly.
“What’s up?” He asked as he draped an arm around her shoulders.
“I feel like...why didn’t you tell me everything you were feeling? Like, from the album,” She began. “I know you said that you can’t always voice what you feel the way you want to but—I felt like I was blindsided a bit. I found out how you felt like the rest of the world. I felt like I was being treated like a fan and I kinda feel some type of way,” She explained.
“I didn’t know you would feel like that...” J trailed off before he sighed. “Look, I’m sorry for that. I didn’t know that would hurt your feeli0ngs. Sometimes I just don’t feel like bothering you with shit like that. You already go through enough, and—...”
“And that’s the problem right there,” Beija cut him off. “I know that I’ve been through a lot; I was there. I experienced it. I know you like to think that you can imagine what I feel or what I am really going through, but you can’t. Even if I told you everything I felt from top to bottom, I still can’t make you0 fully understand. Even with that said, Jermaine—I am your wife. Despite all that I endure, I exchanged vows with you...I deserve to be told what is wrong with my husband if he is bothered with something,” She frowned before shaking her head. “I’m not the same 24-year-old that you met...you’ve known me long enough to know that at this point in our relationship I feel entitled to your truth, no matter how ugly it is,” She explained.
“Okay, that’s fair. So I want to be granted the same courtesy, then. You don’t tell me everything either,” Jermaine argued.
“Okay but...what you deal with and what I deal with are two different things...I mean, I get what you’re saying completely, but you have a whole career to worry about,” She said.
“You’re basically upset with me for doing the same thing you are doing for the exact same reason though, Beija. That doesn’t make sense,” J tilted his head as he looked at her. “You have a career just like I do, baby. You work just like me. And to add to that, you have a mental issue—I take all of that into account when I decide what to tell you or what not to tell you. I know how you are and how you think, so I stay considering you. That’s the only reason why I look to the notebook to spill everything. The notebook can’t react,” He explained.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Jermaine? Like you’re almost making it seem like I can’t handle the truth,” Beija was becoming a bit offended. Even if everything Jermaine was saying was true, she still felt as if she was being fed a sugar-coated version of the truth and it didn’t sit well with her.
“I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth,” He countered. “You know exactly what I mean. If I tell you something, who’s to say you won’t spiral because you think it’s your fault? You blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault and you do it often, so sometimes it’s hard to determine what is safe to tell you. I do not want to be the reason your mood dips or you have an episode, so I try to keep that in mind, Beija. That’s really the beginning, middle, and end of all of it. It ain’t got shit to do with what I think you can and can’t handle,” He said.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Beija’s tone came off snarkier than she intended.
“If I wasn’t sure you could handle the truth, I wouldn’t have married you,” Jermaine returned the attitude before he stood up from the couch. “You’re in a shitty mood now, so I’mma give you your space for right now. I’m going to take a shower.”
Beija sighed softly before she silently ate her food, shaking her head before she sank into the couch. Even if Jermaine was right, she still felt like she deserved the truth about his feelings. What was she going to therapy and doing all this extra shit for if he couldn’t do the same? That’s all she could think about as she sat and ate her food. Maybe there could have been a different way to approach him about it, but at the moment her mood wouldn’t allow her to see it any way else. Lord knew that she loved that man, but he could be such a hardheaded mule at times.
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