#i spent like three hours sitting down writing all this bc i had chores to do but then i got distracted with other things and then i ended u

[fernwing143]

I saw this picrew and thought it was adoreable so I did it with my Hogwarts Legacy MC and people in her life bc why not :) I'm using this as an excuse to lore dump lmao(btw this is of my MC, Fern Wing in her sixth year)

The first one is Fern with my other MC, Dillon! I like to think these two would be trauma-bonding besties. What's also funny is that Fern is a Ravenclaw with Hufflepuff energy and Dillon is a Gryffindor with even more Hufflepuff energy (Dillon kind of had a Nevile situation) but when I think about it, Dillon is 100% more of a Hufflepuff than a Gryffindor and I don't even remember why I put him in Gryffindor. He grows up to be a herbologist, he's very kind and loyal, anti-fighting, and has pretty much every Hufflepuff trait 😭😭

Fern on the other hand is mostly just very very sweet and supportive of everyone she likes and has UNDYING LOYALTY to those she cares about. Miss girl would literally kill for her friends and little brother. She also really loves her nieces and nephews so much she almost views them as her own children (she wants kids so bad but she hates the idea of babymaking rahhh)

Next is Fern with her youngest brother, Milo!

Milo was born two years before his and Fern's father died. After their father's death, their mother grew to be very neglectful of all five of her children and Fern ended up taking on the responsibility of raising Milo alongside her older siblings, William and Misty. But Fern was only SEVEN YEARS OLD when she had to start doing this.

Fern is extremely protective of her little brother while Milo is very clingy to his older sister. When Fern was thought to be a squib, she'd get nasty looks from witches and wizards in the villiage but Milo didn't understand why.

Milo used to hide a lot whenever Fern and their mother would get into fights (which was very often). He doesn't like yelling and conflict and it hurt even more to see the person who raised him fighting with the person who practically abandoned him. If you were to ask Milo about his family, he'd say something along the lines of "It's broken."

This next one is of Fern and her older sister, Misty!

Misty is a Gryffindor who's married to a Ravenclaw named Collin. Fern would totally describe Misty as a "fashion freak". Fern was 12 years old when she started wearing her long hair down and Misty INSISTED that she at least did it nicely (hence the hair style with the hair down with that little tie in the middle that the MC can have in the game)

Even though Fern loves her big sister very much, she does get very overwhelmed around her. Misty is constantly trying to dress Fern in neat clothing and always bugs Fern about what she wears. She's not tyring to be mean, but Misty is apethetic towards others. She's also not very reliable :p

Here we have William!

William is Fern's oldest sibling and her half-brother and was a Slytherin at Hogwarts. There is a seven year age gap between them lmao

William and Fern have the same mother but a different father. Fern's mother, Sonia, got married to a man named Josh Brown and they had William. When William was two years old, Sonia and Josh got a divorce and later on got remarried to her friend from Hogwarts, Jay Wing. William came with Sonia since Josh was abusive. When he was four, Misty was born, when he was seven, Fern was born, when he was ten, Dawn was born, and when he was twelve, Milo was born.

William was always the golden child, though he didn't like it because Sonia became very mentally ill after Jay's death and started favoring him over his siblings and was especially mean to Fern, seemingly blaming her for Jay's death. William was a hard worker and did well with academics and became a curse breaker.

William is married to Maradeth Brown (formerly Maradeth Peterson) and has two daughters, Lennie and Emily and later on has a son, Henry. He enjoys inviting Fern over to hang out with them.

Fern has always looked up to her older brother, though somewhat envies him for being their mother's favorite while her mother hates her the most.

And here we have Dawn, Fern's younger sister.

Dawn has always hated Fern for pretty much no reason despite Fern trying to set things right between them.

I like to think that the reason Fern never saw Dawn at Hogwarts during her fifth year was because Dawn avoided her at all costs (this is made up specifically for my MC and is not canon to the actual game)

Like their mother, Dawn blames Fern for their father's death, only it's not only "well, it SEEMS like she blames Fern for Jay's death" but rather "she completely blames Fern for Jay's death."

In her first year at Hogwarts, Dawn took an interest in the Dark Arts and tried to learn as much as she could about them. As a Slytherin, she knew Anne, Sebastian, Ominis, Imelda, etc. and didn't understand why Sebastian took a liking to Fern at all (I like to think she overheard Sebastian talking about her to Ominis in the common room and was like "ew. why would you like that loser?")

Dawn eventually grows up and cuts off all contact with her family and becomes a Dark Witch, which deeply upsets her siblings.

Fern and Seb AAAAA <3

So here's the deal:

Fern is a bisexual girly. Pretty much her whole life, she found love and romance to be nasty and pointless. When she was twelve, she met a girl named Ginger and had a bit of a crush on her, but after Ginger and her other friends went away without a word and never sending any owls to her, Fern felt hurt by that and decided to never get attatched to someone again.

Fast forward to when she's around fifteen/sixteen, she meets Sebastian and initially is neutral about him, though she is more fond of him than she is of other people.

Throughout the year and when Fern and Seb would help each other with things, Fern started to realize that Seb was very important to her, but was still terrified of becoming attatched to someone only to be left behind again. So, she's basically in denial about liking him.

After the situation with Seb and Solomon, Fern comes to terms with the fact that she's in love with Seb and would do anything for him, hence not turning him in.

I'm not the best at writing love stories I'm sorry 😭

Fern and Poppy are besties. This is canon. Shush.

I have another post where I have a screenshot from in-game with Fern and Poppy and honestly all I have to say is that these two are besties. Poppy could literally kill a man and Fern would be like "Where do you want me to hide the body? Bury it? Burn it? Stuff it in a closet?" Fern would 100% take the fall for Poppy in any situation.

I like to think that in their sixth year, Poppy and Fern were alone together and Fern just broke down and vented to Poppy about everything she'd been holding in (seriously. she's been holding everything in without saying a single thing.) While Fern has other really close friends, Poppy is the only one Fern will fully open up to and vice versa. Fern may be in love with Seb but bestie Poppy comes first.

Also, my other MC Dillon has a MASSIVE crush on Poppy but is way to scared to admit it. I once had the mental image of him kicking his legs like a school girl while being flustered thinking of her. And since Dillon is also such an innocent little guy, he does NOT have perverted or nasty thoughts of her

Also, unrelated, but I think it's funny that both of them have plant-related names 😭

Fern and Natty :)

I'm just going to say now: the biggest thing these two have in common is that they have a dead father.

Everytime Natty talks about her dad, Fern instantly can genuienly symapthize with her. I like to think that they comfort each other whenever they start really missing their dad.

I don't have much of a dynamic for them since I haven't really thought about it, but i will say that they are good friends who both have dead dads 😭

Last one: Fern and Ominis :D

Fern has deep respect for Ominis and views him kind of like a brother. They are pretty similar on some levels.

-They both fall asleep in random places -They both can be pretty grumpy -They both don't tolerate bullshit -They both have family issues

Fern used to be kind of intimidated by Ominis, but later grew to be comfortable around him. She will silently let Ominis scold her and Seb whenever they do something stupid, but luckily none of the three of them ever take anything personally.

Overall, Fern quite likes Ominis and would literally m u r d e r for this man (as she would with most of her friends 😭)

Alr I'm done thank you for your time

[skies-diary]

The more I think about it, the more I think we should stop sending our children to school past grade 5.

More under the cut. TW for suicide mention, mental illness, gun violence mention, and assault mention.

Of course education is important, but schools dont really educate; not anymore. At least, "higher learning" like middle / high school and college don't. I can think of only two classes in grades 6-12 that I've ever used in my day to day life, and those were sex ed (which was comprehensive for me, but which many schools in the US arent even allowed to have on the syllabus) and home economics. The rest were really just full of meaningless facts that I was forced to memorize and that I likely won't remember by ten years after graduation.

It's not that I think people should be uneducated. It's that as early as 100 years ago, people wouldn't send children to school before they were six years old, and now preschools start enrollment at six weeks old. Its that I learned very little in my teenage years that I would ever use in my adult life. Its that school contributed to my depression and anxiety that started at age 11 when I was in sixth grade, and that I'm still struggling with today.

More than anything else, though, while elementary school taught to read and write and made learning a part of life, sixth grade and up made me hate learning. It taught me that learning is a chore to finish and be done with so you can do "fun things". It taught me that if you can't get something right on the first try, you're bad at it and theres no point trying. More than trying to get me ready to choose my own path in life, school was focused on three things; fidelity to country, unconditional respect and obedience to authority, and capitalism training.

Fidelity to country: Every single day started with the pledge of allegiance. Some kids didnt stand for it, and I wish I'd been one of them. On veterans day my senior year, our first hour teacher told the class that any students that didnt stand for the pledge that day would be sent to the office for "disciplinary action". After the pledge, the whole class was escorted down the hall to the room of a teacher who was also a veteran, and we all had to stand in a line to shake his hand and thank him for his service. At age 17, I didn't think that was too strange. At age 23, having lived through Trump's presidency and seen what nationalism and extremism looks like more clearly, I find it much more off-putting than before.

Unconditional respect for authority: For me, this really started in second grade. After first grade, I was transferred to a new school which was poorly managed. The school was understaffed and overcrowded, classrooms were wildly out of ratio and teachers were overwhelmed. My brother, in kindergarten, hardly knew how to spell his name by the end of the year, and that's only because he had extra-curricular support.

The school avoided any and all accountability by having a policy of "the teacher is always right", therefore placing all responsibility on the students for any learning difficulties they encountered. The school board thankfully let my siblings and I transfer to a more competent and less crowded school after I was physically assulted by another student (a boy from another class who tried to suffocate me), and my parents threatened a lawsuit against the district.

The expectation for unfailing respect was amplified in high and middle school, from the constant police presence in schools to the draconian dress code regulations to teachers who treated their profession like a power trip. I did have a lot of good teachers, but others acted like being a teacher gave them license to act like a drill sergeant.

Capitalism training: this is very different than career training. Career training would have taught us marketable, useful skills. Rather, my school district got us ready for the workforce by having us sit at a desk for eight hours a day, delegating us tasks to be completed in a set amount of time, or we'd have life-altering repercussions. We were young adults who had little to no say in how we spent our day to day lives. I feel like these things contributed a lot to spending my teenaged years feeling like I had no direction in life; a feeling that persists in adulthood and has caused me untold distress, from difficulty in career choice to suicidal ideation.

As a teen, I didn't really understand the point of it all. However, it seems fairly obvious as an adult. School was training for corporate life. Modern American schools are turning out kids who have very few life skills, who are primed to sit at a desk for 8 hours, completing largely meaningless tasks and putting up with bullshit from authority figures whom they know better than to question.

In my personal experience, everything past grade 5 had nothing to do with education; rather, it was a nearly decade-long indoctrination ritual to prepare children to take their place as an employee and "contribute to society" under Late Stage Capitalism. It's framed as a necessary part of life, but the truth is that historically, parents, extended family and community were the forces that educated children. They taught them the life skills useful to their time and culture. Today, for example, technological literacy is needed, but a Native American child in 1500 would have learned how to hunt, how to mend, and how to build shelter. A child in 4000 BC Egypt would have likely learned to grown plants in the Nile Delta and care for farm animals.

Learning is a part of life. Human brains are supercomputers that can recognize patterns like nothing else in the world. No teacher has to sit down a typically developing child and teach them to speak; they learn through daily life. Humans didn't learn to make fire in lecture hall. We're naturally curious and eager to learn as children, but after going through school, very few adults retain this enthusiasm.

I used to be able to read three novels in an afternoon. Now I struggle to finish a chapter. This shift did not come about until age 11, the same year I entered middle school.

Children go to school now because there is rarely any other choice. In most American families, both parents work, and if a child is in a single-parent household, it's even less likely they have a stay-at-home parent. This symptom of Late Stage Capitalism (parental absense) causes children to grow into adults indoctrinated into the system, which is causatious of Late Stage Capitalism. It's a cycle that can be hard to break.

But we have to do something. Education reform, finding a way to homeschool / educate through community, or even just stop having kids. I haven't had any children yet because I dont want to raise my babies to be corporate slaves for the Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk of their generation.

Because as it stands right now, America's schoolchildren that aren't gunned down by angry white men are coming out the other side of graduation depressed, directionless, and with one of the highest suicide rates (second leading cause of death for Gen Z) in human history.

What American schools are doing isn't just not working, it's purposefully malicious. We need to change.

[nami-writes]

Humans Don’t Come Back - Detroit: Become Human

i saw this fan art a while ago and, well, i couldn’t resist writing fanfiction based off of it bc i love connor but i also love hurting him, so that’s what i’m gonna do here. enjoy the feels B)

Numb.

Connor felt numb.

He was sitting on the bench in Riverside Park, two weeks after Hank’s death, and he felt nothing.

Or, rather, he felt something. He just couldn’t seem to let it through.

It reminded him of what being nothing but a machine had felt like. Feeling emotions, knowing he’s feeling them, but pushing and shoving them back down so they wouldn’t show. Fighting to hide them, to drown them and cover them up with only thoughts that related to his mission. It had almost become instinctual, his natural reaction to even the slightest signs of emotion; of deviancy.

He realized now that part of the reason why he did that was out of fear.

Fear of becoming deviant, fear of being found out, fear of being sent back and deactivated and destroyed and killed.

He’d always been afraid of feeling.

He remembered when Sumo died three years after the revolution. Soon after he moved in, Hank had made him see a therapist, another android, and helped him make progress on learning not to be so afraid of and opposed to feeling. Even if he didn’t know how to, he’d done his best to support him through anything and everything and he’d been the one to catch him whenever he fell too far.

But all of that progress had been lost when Connor first noticed the symptoms that Sumo was dying. Hank was in denial at first, but they had both known what was coming.

The following weeks, Connor had almost reverted back to how he’d previously been. Hank saw how he was so willing to do anything for him, from chores and housework to paperwork and reports and he’d let him do what he wanted for the first couple of days, but it didn’t take long for him to get fed up of ordering him around like he was still just a machine.

What he hadn’t seen, though, was Connor trying his hardest to keep himself together. Before, he’d built walls to keep emotions out and he’d been trying to break them down, but now, he was afraid of the negative emotions drowning out the positive ones. No emotions were better than too many negative emotions, so he needed something, anything to distract himself so the walls wouldn’t fall and crush him under their weight.

His therapist had told him he was suppressing his emotions as a coping mechanism but he still fought constantly to keep his LED blue so Hank wouldn’t worry, though it occasionally glinted yellow.

But when it came time to euthanize Sumo, he and Hank remained beside him and he couldn’t help his LED turning red.

He’d never dealt with loss before.

Before Hank and Sumo, he’d never been attached to anyone enough to be able to process the grief. And when he’d realized he was going to lose one of them... he’d had no idea how to handle it.

It wasn’t any different now.

No, that was wrong.

Now, his LED spun a constant yellow, flickering red every few seconds, because there was nobody to worry about it.

Now, he’d lost both of them.

Now, he had nothing else to lose.

What was left for him now?

Hank had put him in his will and left everything he had in Connor’s possession. Technically, he still had everything.

But losing Hank felt like he was left with nothing.

Sitting on the park bench, he began to reconstruct what had happened there a hundred years ago. He felt his LED flash red when he watched Hank’s outline form beside him but ignored it.

This memory wasn’t one of his favorites, but it was one way to remember him, and he would never let himself forget him. He remembered every part of it perfectly.

┌                                                                        ┐

       DATE: NOVEMBER 7, 2038            

       EVENT: COLE DISCUSSION & THREAT

       ◻ RECONSTRUCT           

└                                                                        ┘

    RECONSTRUCTION                   0/1 EVENTS

    INCOMPLETE                            ANALYZED

⍇ ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ ⍈

He watched his own outline walk up beside Hank’s and replayed the audio he’d saved from this exact moment.

“Nice view, huh?”

He looked out toward Ambassador Bridge, remembering how its lights had reflected faintly off the river. They were off now, but at night, they certainly did look nice.

“I used to come here a lot, before...”

Past Hank drank from the beer bottle he held in his hand and it hurt to watch. His alcoholism had been part of the reason he’d died sooner than he should’ve, at 153 years old, while the average life expectancy was 161-164. He’d convinced him to stop drinking after he moved in and made sure he took care of himself, but it seemed even that hadn’t been enough to reverse the effects of years of alcoholism and an unhealthy lifestyle.

He’d give anything to get those remaining 8 years with him.

Hell, he’d give anything to just get one more day with him. An hour would suffice. He’d even take a minute if he could.

“Before what?”

At the time, he’d guessed that Hank was referring to Cole’s death.

“Hm?”

“You said, ‘I used to come here a lot, before.’ Before what?”

He’d still chosen to tread carefully, as he knew it was a sensitive topic.

“Before...”

Hank had told him later on that this was one of the moments before the Cyberlife Tower incident where he really considered opening up.

“Before nothing.”

He watched himself turn to face him, crossing his arms hesitantly, unsure if his next question would be appropriate.

“Can I ask you a personal question, Lieutenant?”

“Do all androids ask so many personal questions, or is it just you?” 

If it didn’t hurt so much just to remember Hank’s voice, he would’ve wanted to laugh at the sarcasm he remembered dripping from his voice.

“Why are you so determined to kill yourself?”

The question stung even him now, but he was just glad that wasn’t how he’d died.

“Some things I just can’t forget. Whatever I do, they’re always there, eating away at me. I don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, so I kill myself a little more every day.”

Hank’s outline turned to look at Connor’s.

“That’s probably pretty difficult for you to understand, huh, Connor? Nothing very rational about it.”

That was true; he hadn’t really understood at the time. But now, he understood better than he ever wished he could’ve.

He’d spent the past three weeks avoiding Hank’s room. Hell, he’d spent the past three weeks avoiding their house. Or... his house, now. He hadn’t been back in exactly two weeks, three days and eleven hours. Instead, he’d been walking around for days on end, just trying to distract himself, trying to get away from reality.

He’d considered staying with Markus for a couple of days, but decided against it. Markus had lost Carl three years prior, at 169 years old, and Connor didn’t want to worry him or be a burden on him. Besides, he didn’t need a place to stay. He could withstand the weather and he didn’t need to eat or sleep.

Markus had moved on two and a half years ago.

But Connor wasn’t strong like he was.

He was weak. Weak and pathetic. He couldn’t even go back home after three weeks because he couldn’t handle it.

He hadn’t even gone to any of his therapy sessions because he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

All he could do was walk around, seeing the exact same things over and over again, in a feeble attempt to stop the memory from replaying in his head on a constant, never-ending loop.

He hated how having a perfect memory allowed him to remember everything exactly.

”Hank? Are you awake yet?” Connor called from the living room, sitting on the couch with the TV on. By this time, he was usually up already and making coffee for himself, but sometimes he slept in, especially because of how old he complained about being. However, Connor had made it his responsibility to make sure he maintained a regular sleep schedule.

He got no response.

He sighed and stood up. “TV off.” Hank was lucky he’d retired a decade ago. If not, he’d have been late for work today. Connor had stayed, though, and, throughout the years, worked his way up the ranks to a Commander. He still had a couple minutes before he had to leave for work, though, so he’d take the time to wake him up. Besides, he needed to change into his uniform. He could do that after he woke up Hank.

He made his way to Hank’s room and knocked on the door, just in case he was awake. “Hank?”

Still no response. Definitely asleep.

But he had a strange feeling. A bad feeling.

He opened the door and saw Hank laying in bed, but—something was wrong.

He wasn’t breathing.

He took a few hesitant steps inside, as if he couldn’t believe what his systems were telling him, then ran to his side. ”Hank—no, no, Hank, come on!”

He felt for his pulse.

Nothing.

His LED was solid red and he could already feel the artificial tears building up quickly, threatening to spill at any moment. His systems were operating as fast as he could make them; he showed no signs of movement, he wasn’t breathing, and he had no heartbeat. He’d died about ten minutes ago so CPR had a 0% chance of making any difference and neither did any of the other forms of medical assistance he had registered.

He’d been gone too long for anything to bring him back.

”No—no, no, no, come on, please—please don’t go, Hank, I-I don’t—I can’t—“ His voice broke and he finally broke with it.

He shook himself out of the memory. He didn’t want to remember the rest. He didn’t want to remember how pathetic he’d been, how broken he’d been when an ambulance finally arrived.

He could still feel the same devastation and fear and dread he’d felt when he found his body. He still remembered the desperation, how he wanted so badly for there to be some way, any way to save him, to bring him back, but he knew it was hopeless.

It had been three weeks, and he could still feel the sorrow and anguish he’d felt the moment he’d realized that Hank was truly gone.

All he wanted right now was for Hank to hold him in his arms and tell him it was gonna be okay.

But humans didn’t come back.

Maybe that was why he was walking down the empty street where the Chicken Feed food truck had stood for over a century. Of course, the owner, Gary Kayes, had died, even before Hank did, despite being three years younger. Connor had been there to help Hank cope with his death. Nobody had been around for a long time to replace him, so it remained abandoned in the same spot it’d been in before the revolution.

He scanned the area and a single information tab appeared on the sidewalk. When his eyes flicked over to it, it expanded.

┌                                                               ┐

       DATE: NOVEMBER 12, 2038    

       EVENT: FIRST HUG FROM HANK

       ◻ RECONSTRUCT           

└                                                               ┘

    RECONSTRUCTION                   0/1 EVENTS

    INCOMPLETE                             ANALYZED

⍇ ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ ⍈

Hank had hugged him often after the revolution, but this one had always been his favorite because it had been the first.

His LED flickered to red when he saw Hank’s figure again but he ignored it. Instead, as he played the reconstruction, he retraced his steps exactly; a futile attempt to make the memory seem at least a little bit realer. He still remembered Hank’s smile; the first real, genuine smile he’d seen from him. Hell, it might’ve been the first smile in general he’d seen from him.

He watched Hank’s outline take a few hesitant steps toward him, then stop.

Then, as the outline approached him and closed the distance between them, Connor closed his eyes and tried to let himself believe that, even if for just a moment, this was real.

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

                         I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at. 

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

 Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned. 

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you. 

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

 Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late. 

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears. 

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now. 

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up. 

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

 Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

 But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

 Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

[skelezbian]

yo can i get some fuckin uhhhhh stage makeup au w/swapfell sans and/or holding cell au w/swapfell papyrus??? (also props to you for writing the only swapfell sans that i actually like. that's quite an accomplishment 👍)

thank you v much! i decided to do the sf!sans w the stage makeup au bc it was just fun :^)

posted to ao3 here!

“You’re the one person who can do my elaborate stage makeup so every night you spend half an hour in close proximity to my face and I am Distressed” au

If Sans had a better sense of humor, perhaps he could laugh at how ridiculous his life had become. The Sans that had been sworn to capture all humans, knighted and sharing the position of head of the Royal Guard with Alphys, the Sans with the holding cell in a little-used shed… The violent, tyrannical, iron-fisted monster he’d once been would crush him to dust if he could see what he’d become, what he now did.

Here he was, pinching a beauty blender between his skeletal fingers, hovering over the human ambassador to the Underground, his gloves long-since abandoned on your makeup table. 

He should find the situation hilarious, how far he’d fallen, how silly the situation, but instead he tilts your head from side-to-side, examining his contour. Stunning, as always. You were always a work of art, makeup or none.

“How do I look?” You bat the eyelashes that he had just painstakingly layered onto your eyelids, and he rolls his eye-lights in response. As if the answer would ever be any different.

“NOT AS GOOD AS YOU’LL LOOK ONCE I FINISH. HUSH.” Your lips curl in amusement, rolling your eyes playfully at him and scooting around on your seat. Your smile is just as sweet as that first night you’d met, stumbling out of the Ruins with a curious look on your face, delighted by the fact that it was snowing underground. Of course, the smile was soon wiped off of your face when he had stepped out from the woods to capture you, culminating in a rather sour stalemate as you refused to fight but also, skillfully dodging him, refused to be hit.

When they were Underground, Sans hadn’t given two shits about your occupation on the Surface- Papyrus was more than happy to curiously peer at you and ask for your celebrity stories, sitting and hovering around you as you sang your little human songs while you “WORKED OFF YOUR CRIME’S SENTENCE” in their home. You’d rolled your eyes then, just as you rolled your eyes now (half-amused and half-curious), and taken to the rather mediocre household chores he’d asked of you. Ultimately, he’d been surprised by your usefulness, your kindness, and that soft, tired smile you gave them once you were back inside the house after wandering around town.

And, now, here he was, holding your chin like you were a canvas that needed just one more dash of paint. It’d started as a joke too many months ago, you joking about vlogging the first human-monster makeup mess while winging your eyeliner and wagging your eyebrows at him, and Sans, never one to back down from a challenge, immediately set about proving you wrong. On the surface, he quickly learned that he was only about three Youtube videos from mastering a skill, and he spent an unreasonable amount of time watching videos of humans slapping paint onto their skin in precise strokes.

Of course, all of that had been to prove that he could easily master any human skill. Of course it hadn’t been to impress you.

He had a strange idea about color palettes and he’d had to reveal his bare hands to you after fumbling with the brush too much, but the end result had been striking and you’d been so impressed that you never went to your shows without him taking a pass at you. All the while, he’d grumble and grunt and act as if he weren’t having the time of his life, your face delicately cradled in his hands, the wide holes through his palms being brushed by your slight exhales. There was a pride to this, being so good at this task that no other human could compare, where you completely surrendered and trusted in his guidance.

“I don’t think my contour needs to be-” He quiets you by tilting your chin up- only when you’re sitting down is he tall enough to even consider a move like this. You laugh-snort, delight evident in your voice as you look at his avid concentration, “Sansy, it’s not so serious!” He’s just about to chastise you for crinkling your eyes and the powder surrounding them, hand half-raised to fix it, but you catch your hand in his.

“OF COURSE IT’S SERIOUS TO ME. IT’S FOR YOU.” It stumbles out of his mouth, supposed to be a gruff complaint, but he can’t help the tenderness that slips through. You look surprised, and he tries to deflect as hard as possible by pointing a lip gloss wand at you, “YOUR PERFORMANCE IS IN FIVE MINUTES. I NEEDED TO HAVE YOU READY TEN MINUTES AGO.” As he rounds the swell of your lips with the wand, he tries to distract himself from how soft they are, how pretty the color he’d chosen looked on you. A stunning red, chosen to match your outfit, and certainly not for his preferences.

You’re silent until he finishes, knowing what a pain the sticky lip gloss would be if it was smeared anywhere else other than your lips. When he’s done, you smack your lips together and blot, your eyes trained on him the whole time. With a mischievous look, you ask, “Kiss for good luck?” and start leaning towards the swell of his cheekbone, your lips pursed in a perfect red pout.

Sans freezes, staring at you as if you had just threatened him with bodily harm, then starts to sink down to your level as if he were a slime instead of a skeleton. When your breath brushes his cheek, your lips likely soon to follow, he suddenly realizes the situation and straightens up, “I WON’T LET YOU RUIN MY HARD WORK-” You pull back immediately, your mischief dissolved, your expression almost professional.

“Oh, uh, right. My bad, Sans- I got kinda caught up, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Guess I should be on my way, huh? Crowd’s waiting for me.” Instead of a kiss, you pat his cheek fondly, friendly.

This time, he’s the one to stop you, catching your wrist. “BUT. IF THE OFFER STILL STANDS, I WOULD-” He fumbles for a word that isn’t ‘love’. “-GREATLY ENJOY CASHING IN AFTER THE SHOW.”