#i spent a TRULY embarrassing amount of time on this lmao

[rebelrainfall]

Go and try, you'll never break me

I don't know how people caption these 💀

[cheeseceli]

You speak another language

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, reaction

Warnings: mention of food at Lee Know and Felix's, I think that's it?

Request: how do you think ot8 would react to the reader speaking in their native language? Especially if it's not korean/english?

A/n: It's embarrassing the amount of time I took to write this one💀 the worst part is that I actually spent every week tryna find the best way of putting all my ideas together. Hope you like it anyways!

Bang Chan

‌Would have a pet name for you in your mother tongue

‌ Like idk if you speak spanish his nickname for you would be "mi amor"

‌Finds it really attractive btw

‌When you're speaking your mother tongue he sees just how much comfortable you are

‌You literally shine in his eyes

‌He'd just be staring at you with heart eyes

‌And if you're learning Korean or English he'd be more than glad to help you overcome your difficulties with the language

‌Would be your personal professor fr

‌Speaks slower around you so you can understand everything, and wouldn't mind repeating himself at all

‌He knows that the language barrier can be a bit intimidating and that it can make you afraid of opening up completely

‌But he'd be so reassuring all the time

‌Really tries his best to comfort you when you need it and it doesn't matter the language, he makes is clear that he loves and will be with you all the time

Lee Know

‌If you had a hard time speaking Korean but still tried your best to communicate with him and his parents in Korean, he'd fall DEEP in love with you

‌He gives me major "I don't understand but I love you" vibes ngl

‌lmao he'd learn the bad words before anything else

‌If you're speaking your mother tongue when in the phone he'd try to guess what you're saying

‌Genuinely doesn't know what's going but he's invested

‌And he repeats some words after you say it

‌Not in a mocking way, he just finds it cool how the word sounds and keep repeating it to himself

‌Like if you speak french he'd be like "bonjour. Bonjour? Bonjour"

‌It's endearing

‌But yeah you'll have to translate everything to him later

‌He wants to know about the tea

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you!!

Changbin

‌ If you have a foreign accent when speaking Korean or English he finds it adorable

‌ And he also finds your mother tongue adorable

‌ It doesn't matter if you speak one of the sexiest languages in the world

‌ This man finds it adorable

‌Eventually learns your language

‌He'll take classes, buy text books and everything

‌He truly believe that learning how to communicate with you (in every language for that matter) is like a "boyfriend duty"

‌So he'll be more than happy to learn

‌Tries to show his affection in ways that are not spoken as well so you both could surpass the language barrier

‌He'll get you flowers, gifts, would take you to amazing places, would have the best dates with you and everything you can ever think of

‌You'd have the best memories ever with him and no word would need to be said

Hyunjin

‌ Would ask you to teach him some pet names and sweet phrases in your language

‌ And would 100% say "I love you" in your mother tongue in certain moments

‌ Like in more intimate moments that he wants you to truly understand how much he loves you

‌ Would love if you replied with saying "I love you" in Korean

‌If you have a different accent than him when speaking Korean/English he might start speaking like you

‌yk when you get someone's accent just by living next to them

‌That's him

‌He finds it fancy

‌And when the boys tease him for this he might get shy but he's also so proud? Like "yeah I got it from my s/o :D"

‌Writes a letter to you once he finds confidence in speaking your language. It might have some mistakes here and there but it was so sweet, and the intention behind it was so lovely, that you couldn't help but tear up a bit when you read it for the first time

Han

‌Loves your culture so much

‌He'd ask you to show songs and movies and things like that in your language

‌Like if you're Indian he'd ask you to show him some Bollywood movies

‌He'd try to guess what they are saying and it's a whole game for him

‌He's there for the vibes honestly

‌But I think he'd end up learning a thing or two and later would like to learn the whole thing

‌Would incorporate your mother tongue in his songwriting I'm 100% sure

‌And!! would ask for songs recommendations so he could sing to you when you least expect it

‌Learns two words in your mother tongue, probably uses them in the wrong way, thinks he is fluent.

‌But he also knows a lot of slangs in your language, it's kinda surprising ngl

‌He'd occasionally drop a random slang in your language when talking to the kids and everyone would be like ???

‌"what did you say?"

Felix

‌ Learns your language to surprise you

‌ Like every time there is a break when he's practicing he'd open duolingo

‌(He'd have a hella long strike, 100 days in a row or smth)

‌When you're speaking on the phone with someone he tries to listen to it as a listening exercise

‌Is smiling to himself throughout the period of the call and when you ask the reason why he just brushes it off

‌Cooks your hometown dishes for you pt. 2!!

‌But seriously tho

‌He knows it's hard to be far from home, especially by yourself

‌So he really tries to make you feel at home

‌He will cook your nationals dishes, will sing songs in your language, will encourage you to speak in your mother tongue around him etc

‌:(

‌Also, 2 kids 1 room flashback

‌He likes to have meaningful conversations with you where he tells you how much he loves and appreciates you

‌Unlike Hyunjin, he'd say everything in English because it feels more genuine for him, as it's his first language

‌So if you're replying to him in your language, he'd feel SO happy

‌He thinks this is like a proof that everything you're saying comes from a deep place somehow. It makes him fall in love once again

Seungmin

‌ Wants to learn your language the moment you guys get in a serious relationship

‌ Besides wanting to be able to talk to you in your own comfort zone

‌He'd want to be able to talk to your friends and family who speaks your mother tongue

‌ Like the first time he sees your parents he'd be ready to talk to them

‌i'm so down bad for this man it's not even funny anymore

‌anyways

‌Would take you everywhere in Korea so he could show you a bit of his home (would tell stories about the places so excitedly)

‌And would love if he had the opportunity to go to your country

‌Would love it even more if you showed the place around to him and explained a bit about everything you know

‌If in the first stages of the relationship there is a language barrier, he'd plan dates that don't involve a lot of talking

‌Like he'd take you to concerts and karaokes

‌music is universal after all isn't it?

‌He always give his 100% into the relationship it's so cute

I.N

‌ Finds it really attractive pt2

‌ He loves your accent

‌ And he loves your mother tongue as well

‌ He could spend a whole day just listening to you speak, even if he doesn't understand a single word

‌ And if you're learning Korean, he'd love to see your progress and to see you getting more comfortable while speaking it

‌ I also see two possible scenarios:

‌ One, he'd wake up one day really determined to learn your language and wouldn't stop until he does

‌ Two, he'd never stop and actually learn it, but he'd end up catching up with some things you say and show to him. So in the end he'd know the basics and some essential phrases

‌I believe he'd genuinely enjoy to learn about your culture

‌Like, whenever a cultural shock comes up, he'd be invested in understanding it?

‌Of course sometimes there would be misunderstandings, but I truly think he would try to see the positive view rather than seeing only the cultural crash

‌He might even learn a thing or two and get your culture's habits

Feedback is very much appreciated!!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[pissedpupp]

heyhey i’m another disabled wheelchair user into omo and holding and all that, but i often find that my disabilities get in the way of letting me enjoy it or do it (ie: cant drink enough to get desperate, or my bladder will lock up and not let me pee when it’s time) how do you,, , like navigate stuff like that? i really wanna enjoy this kink but my body cockblocks me😭

wooo boy okay so theres a few things!

part of it for me is like, reframing. bc im not gonna be able to enact most kinks in the ways that able bodied people do so instead of hating that *i* cant do the kink, i rework the kink to fit me. like, i get REAL nauseaus REALLY easily, specifically i get ut really bad from water 🙃 so i will take it slow, or take some zofran or jist drink something else entirely.

another example is im on a medication that helps my kidneys retain water, but that means i dont really get super filled up from the amounts of water it might for an able bodied person. and on top of it all before this developed as a kink i was in pevlic floor physical therapy for urgency and pissing my pants, which kinda gave me some advantages in pissing myself on purpose

like i was told that after toddlerhood, you are ALWAYS choosing to pee. unless you have a disorder or syndrome that specifically affects your urinary tract, you are always choosing to pee. most people are just conditioned on when its acceptable to pee. so like, for example. someone who has REALLY bad urgency right before they get to the toilet has subconsciously ttained themselves to start to pee before they sit down, like a self fulfilling prophecy. if you go "oh god im not gonna make it" youre basically dooming youself. and if you do that often, youve now conditioned yourself, to the point that seeing a toilet right in front of you will give your body subconscious cues ro start to go. so someone who is trying to curb the issue i just mentioned would just wait a few seconds, or a few minutes, before sitting and peeing. (and do control exercises like kegals) until its deconditioned.

so all that being said! something im working on now is that i previously had like, 5-10 minutes after sex where i physically COULD NOT pee. and i will lose urgency while getting stimulated, so like. kinda awful for omo and related things. so ive been doing like, extremely intense (for me) and very long (many hours) holds and then sort of conditioning myself, im into edging, so ill get to the point of bursting, let out a controlled leak and then edge. or edge and then push on my bladder to be forced to leak. over and over, until either im so lost in arousal that ill be able to force myself to piss while i orgasm, or im out of pee and can now orgasm anyway. (for right now, this all happens while im sat on the toilet. less mess, and it gives my subconscious the cue to pee)

and ive made some progress! i had a few open hours and followed omo dungeon and then forved out a few big leaks while masturbating and then pissed for a VERY long time. im not anywhere near done, so if i do end up being able to pee during a sexual act its the smalled of streams. i swear i peed for a solid 90 seconds straight last night

ANYWAYS. you have to accommodate yourself. figure out what really works for you. personally soda doesnt make me have to pee but sweet tea REALLY does. i probably cant make a huge habit out of pissing myself uncontrollably because i spent a lot of time unlearning it, and while the idea of accidentally pissing myself without meaning sounds hot, as someone who has pissed themselves in public its just. real embarrassing. not in a cute way. and now that its a kink? you gotta have everyone who witnessing it give enthusiastic consent. and having genuine bladder issues really fucking sucks for like, being an adult lmao.

and so, if i decide to make this kink a regular thing in doing its gonna be a lot of pretending to wet myself, like getting to bursting but not actually truly losing control. a lot of practicing kink is actually just improv and acting im sorry to say 😬

if you wanna talk more ab it feel free to ask more questions! or dm me! im an open book! and your situation is most likely different from mine mechanically. but i can probably help you try to navigate it, might be better to have more specifics before i can give more pointed advice anyways.

as always! consent is key, dont do things that can alter your life outside the scene, and be kind to yourself if you cant fullfil the kink exactly how you want.

[starryjkoo]

Alright, not to get too caught up in the MHJ drama, but I’m crying because I just reread my now deleted post-Golden rant complaining about BSH, SB, and my issues with their strategy and I got to this part

😭😭😭

No but I was right. Say what you want about MHJ, but NewJean’s was truly HYBE's only other major success outside of BTS and it had nothing to do with BangPD and it turns out that it absolutely did piss him off LMAO. I knew it. You don't have to believe everything she says, but the elevator thing was basically confirmed and there's no normal, well adjusted adult who would ignore young girls like that if they weren't an immature, petty asshole.

Not to be messy and reopen this can of worms, but it does make me think it's even more likely that he might have been a little bitter over LC hitting #1 considering he couldn't take credit for it. He had that whole article in billboard that came out around the same time talking about how they were going to get the next #1 through their connections or infrastructure or however he put it, which was clearly referencing SB & HYBE America. I think he was trying to make it seem like this whole Scooter A&R strategy was ingenious and vital to Western success based on how hard they kept pushing and talking it up. So if MHJ was telling any amount of truth about his attitude and how he acted towards NWJN's, I just can't help but feel like he must have felt at least a LITTLE negatively about LC hitting that #1 right after he was talking such a big game about how his system (that he spent a billion dollars on) was going to be vital to that next #1.

LC was a Korean song Jimin made with a small in-house team so it must have been a little embarrassing for him to say all that to billboard (and probably investors lol) and have it be immediately invalidated. And LC so clearly demonstrated that BTS and the members could still pull off these big feats without him or his ideas and massive investment and personal involvement. And yeah, billboard did target LC right after that to try and smear it's success, but I think this argument still holds up. Especially because if LC was given any extra care or support it could have kept charting. And what billboard did in it's second week was insanely dirty.

(I’m not saying he was MAD about it, or that he didn’t talk it up to investors after, or that he sabotaged Jimin like a vengeful cartoon villain, I’m just being petty and speculating and saying I don’t think he was thrilled about it considering the circumstances)

Likewise NewJean's released music that did have a good chunk of English but was still Korean, and they managed to break a bunch of girlgroup billboard records as well, and that's ANOTHER project that BSH didn't have his hands on at all. In fact it was one he didn't believe in. Yes, ILLIT broke their record for getting their debut song on billboard quicker, however BSH followed the formula that MHJ created and apparently didn't even consult her or give her any credit while creating a group that was clearly inspired by her work (I genuinely love ILLIT and think they have their own identity! But they do follow the formula that MHJ popularized). So it's not like he got another group on billboard with his genius, it was again just following a formula someone else created (Magnetic was a bop and I loved the whole EP, so I'll give him that!).

I honestly don't even know what SB brings to the table that's so helpful because all they need for a pop song to succeed is basic charting tools like CDs and remixes and playlisting, which they could get before him, and basic decent promotions for visibility. And he's not doing anything interesting or helpful for the non-pop releases even though there's a massive market here for indie, alternative, R&B, and rap. Why wasn't CBTM on college stations? He's useless because the pop releases don't even need much to be successful. And none of JKs promotions were new or unique or something they couldn't have gotten before SB either. And if he's doing something else behind the scenes, I don't think that's worth it either.

JK did have more GP tuning in, but his solo debut was still heavily carried by ARMYs who took advantage of every provided tool, so nothing revolutionary they couldn't have accomplished pre-SB. It wouldn't have worked for anyone else like I said before either, a good example being TXT and their Jo Bros collab which flopped. BSH was all overconfident (top 10 on billboard lol) about it because he thought the secret to success was simply - western producer, western collab, english - but their fans didn't care for the song and therefore it didn't do well. So yeah, at the end of the day it's about good music and/or having a big fandom willing to carry (and that very rare charisma the BTS members have). Not whatever stupid synergy strategy BSH thought he unlocked. Honestly I wonder if he's really that stupid to think that they could get a hit with just those things, but I'm starting to think so. Genuinely what good decision has he made lately that wasn't just following trends?

Won't rehash everything again but this MHJ drama did make me look back on all this discourse even though I swore I was done with it. I'm not as bothered by all of this now, I just think it's interesting to look back on and compare some of her criticisms of HYBE & BSH to many of our own criticisms and speculation. While I take her words with a massive grain of salt, I do think there's a lot of outside evidence to back up some of her claims about the company and their issues (and I'm not her fan or excusing her actions or saying she's always truthful either).

Of course I could be totally wrong, just my thoughts. I'll go back to looking forward to Jin returning and upcoming projects because at the end of the day the BTS members are the ones responsible for their own careers and they have to be the ones to advocate for themselves and deal with their company, but the plus side of this situation is that I hope at least some K-ARMYs are approaching the company with more scrutiny and hopefully holding them accountable for certain things, although I won't hold my breath. It was hilarious seeing HYBE's quick response to their complaints about Jin's hug event though. I wish I-ARMYs would stop being such company stans (you can criticize HYBE/BH without being a manti you know) but not getting my hopes up.

I just sincerely hope that this whole SB creative strategy won't carry over into BTS music, or any more of their solo work. I wouldn’t care if the quality was there, but imo it’s too inconsistent (I definitely enjoy most of Golden! Seven is a bop, SNTY is 10/10). It’s not about creating art or good music for them, it’s about trying to design a song that they think will chart. And songs like that will almost always lack in some way. So I hope this doesn’t become a pattern and the members retain their creative freedom and recognize that they definitely do not need to rely on those people for a hit (ofc unless the want to work with them).

[nostrildamus]

🤧 🔕 🕘 💐 ❤️ 😈 ❓

Ooh wow, that's quite a lot anon! But I'll gladly answer all of them~

🤧 ~ Most basic question of them all. What are you allergic to?

Tragically my allergies seem to have lessened over the years (or I just have more of a mental block on sneezing perhaps?) but dust is the big one!! Being outside during high pollen will get to me as well, as will wool sometimes, strangely enough!

🔕~ Describe a holdback fail

I get kind of embarrassed sneezing around people (if they don't share the kink) and so I've gotten kinda good at holding back? So I can't think of a particular fail, but I do recall the feeling of trying really hard to fight a tickle, failing and letting out two or three strong sneezes, and then just feeling the heat in my face as I was sure it drew people's attention 😳

🕘 ~ What’s the longest amount of time you’ve spent sneezing?

Oh wow okay, so. There was one particular time when I was in college working retail, and I kid you not I sneezed for like a straight hour (not constantly, but a good couple of sneezes a minute! I literally had to leave work early lmao) because some kind of flowers set me off?? idk if it was a freak incident or what but it has never happened since, it was truly wild.

💐 ~ Someone hands you a bouquet you’re allergic to. What do you do?

Well if it was those mystery flowers from the last question, probably sneeze my head off!! 😅 But for real, if it was something that I just knew was going to set me off, I would either A. politely take them and put them someplace further away to mitigate any oncoming sneezes or B. (if the person giving them to me has the kink and knows what they're doing), I might get a little cheeky and sniff them right up close to the other person 😈

❤️ ~ What’s your favorite way to induce?

Weirdly, I can induce with my finger/fingernail if I find the right spot in my nose! I'm sure it looks like I'm picking my nose lol but I love it because it's so convenient and it means I can induce at a moment's notice~

😈 ~ You ever sneakily induce?

Oh absolutely. Have never done it but would love to for the right person just to tease them discreetly 😌

❓~ Wild card. Talk about anything you want. 

I'm realizing I really don't talk about my own sneezing that much, even in fetish spaces! I also realized the other day that I may have a subconcsious mental block on sneezing sometimes because I've had SO many tickles that back off the moment I think about sneezing haha. Someone pls come induce me so I can't even THINK about losing the sneeze 🥺

[wulfhalls]

The amount of targ/danita stans on twitter that were talking MADDDDD shit about Matt and Emma being too ugly to play targs that now have rhaenrya or daemyra pfps is crazy lmao. The North Remembers!

Dani stans really went from dragging Jon Snow the character, Kit, his personal life, his addiction issues, his wife, and also his baby within the span of a day yesterday. Yeah, they're certifiably insane at this point like its literally almost 2023 and a bitch that spent most of her time sitting on stools in vaguely middle eastern looking countries while holding CGI dragons got these mfers in a chokehold. Could never be me!

as I said truly the bts stans of chronically online actor enthusiasts 😭😭 fucking embarrassing

[antiv3nom]

hi, i don’t know if you take requests (please forgive me and ignore this if you don't), but i was wondering if i could ask for some headcanons, please.

charaters: isagi, bachira, kurona and kaiser

prompt: when you cup his cheeks, kiss his nose and call him pretty.

okay hi!i have spent. an immense amount of time simply staring at this ask. deciding whether i wanna do x reader stuff or not. bc this is ABSOLUTELY not my wheelhouse, yk? i stick to character studies and pairings. however. for u anon, i will do it. bc this prompt is fucking adorable and i have feelings abt it

edit: these got. much longer than expected? so, enjoy? idk what to say anymore lmao

gender-neutral reader | not proofread

-x-x-x-

Isagi isn’t all that well-versed when it comes to romance and such, but he sure as hell has a ton of love to give. Accepting affection, though…well, that’s another story. Every single time you do something even slightly romantic he’s melting into a puddle on the floor—sorry bestie, your boyfriend’s turned into goo and it’s your fault.

So, god forbid you do something explicitly affectionate towards him, he’s overheating the moment you place your hands on his face (which TBH just makes the experience even better, your hands were kinda cold). You observe his rapidly reddening face and notice, for the first time, that his ears get pink when he blushes, as does the tip of his nose.

And so, you mutter, “Pretty…” under your breath, and give into the temptation to place a small kiss right on his nose. He starts to splutter, eyes going wide. He’s positively bluescreening at this point, not a single coherent thought in this boy’s head.

“Takes one to know one,” he mutters right back, which makes you pull your hands back and laugh. He uses this opportunity to cover his face, whining about being embarrassed or something or other. You can tell that he loves it though, if only from the smile he can’t bring himself to hold back.

-x-x-x-

Bachira, similar to Isagi, is inexperienced with romantic relationships, but unlike the other egoist, Bachira actually has the capability to be chill about something. He simply chooses not to, because what fun is that? Why would you be normal when you could be…not that?

You’ve found yourself quickly getting used to his antics but never tiring of them, considering how many are just his way of showing his love for you—acts of service and physical touch, anyone? You’ve come to expect a forehead bonk in greeting or a hand fiddling with your fingers whenever Bachira may get bored. Every once in a while, though, you return the favor, in one way or another.

The moment Bachira feels your touch on his face, he breaks out beaming. He loves loves loves physical affection, it’s just always nice to feel the adoration you have for him. His hands come up over yours to trap them in place as you scooch your way closer to him, placing a tender kiss on his nose, making him grin in that way that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch up just a little.

That smile gives way to laughter, and Bachira’s laughter is positively contagious. Through your giggles, you say to him, “You’re so pretty,” as you admire his truly adorable appearance. You reach up to ruffle his hair, but he grabs your wrist, returning your palm to his cheek.

“You’re warm,” he says, “let’s stay here,” giving your hands a small squeeze and making puppy dog eyes that are incredibly effective on you.

“Okay, silly,” you say, laughing once again. You two aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, but you aren’t about to complain. You love spending time with Bachira.

-x-x-x-

Kurona isn’t one for explicit displays of affection. He typically doesn’t go for more than a quick kiss on the cheek or an intertwined hand unless otherwise prompted. That’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy physical touch, of course, he’s a big fan of watching movies snuggled up on the couch or laying across your lap while you play with his hair, but typically you’re the one that has to initiate.

In that way, it wasn’t too much of a surprise to him that you were the one to grab his face and not vice versa, but it was a bit more…abrupt than he was used to. Again, he’s never going to complain, he just really wasn’t expecting you to be so forward this time. It’s a welcome shift.

He’s not really the type to get all blushy at a compliment, but when the words, “How are you so pretty?” leave your mouth, he can’t help but avert his gaze a little bit. As he’s looking away, you manage to sneak a peck onto his nose, making him just a little bit more flustered.

“I should ask you the same thing,” he says back, voice a bit unsteady, not really used to being outright complimented. You tilt his face just everso more upward, and his eyes match up with yours again, as he admires your visage for what feels like the millionth time as it lights up with the smallest of smiles. He can feel his own mouth mirroring you. He can’t help it—you being happy makes him happy, every time.

-x-x-x-

Kaiser is the world’s biggest menace. He also happens to be your boyfriend, which you truly don’t understand in the slightest. Not that you don’t deserve him, no, just that he’s so goddamn annoying, you don’t really get how you ever put up long enough to entertain his crush, let alone your own. Maybe it was his persistence? He never would leave you alone.

And still, here you are, suffering through his antics and hopelessly in love. You have to admit though, literally every single time you say anything even remotely nice to him, he gets all…well, he gets all Kaiser about it. Although, that often means that you get littered with affection of his own, which you’ll gladly take.

Every once in a while though, you just can’t help yourself. On the rare occasion that Kaiser isn’t completely busy, you sometimes find yourself just gazing at him, his hair, his goddamn eyeliner, his stupid tattoo…he was infuriatingly gorgeous, and he was yours.

So you took his face into your hands, looking directly into his eyes that somehow perfectly matched the dye in his hair, which was a truly magnificent feat. You let yourself be a little soft, let him know that despite it all, you do really love him. You softly kiss his nose and smile at him, whispering, “You’re really pretty, you know.”

“I know,” he says, instantly ruining the moment with that stupid smirk of his. Hey, you couldn’t say you hadn’t tried. As you sigh and move away, he grabs your face right back and returns the kiss with the same gentle touch you had used—far from his usual passion, but much much sweeter. “And I know you are too,” he mutters, laying his forehead against yours. It’s moments like these where you’re glad you fell in love with this idiot.

-x-x-x-

im. probably not doing this again. but it WAS fun. ty anon <3

p.s. - that last ficlet was the hardest thing ive ever written istg i am a kaiser hater for life so dont ever say i didnt do anything for yall /lh

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰crossteaming pt.2 !꒱

genshin characters as your streamer bf/gf !

character x gn!reader

includes kazuha, venti, itto, thoma, and shenhe!

warnings : none.

a/n : thank you for all the notes on the 1st part , much appreciated <3

KAZUHA - THE GEOGUESSER PRO

of course the wanted criminal knows all about geography. (and poetry of course too, but well get to that later)

doesnt matter where in the world he is plopped down in, kazuha knows exactly where he is, and hes quick about it too.

competes in geoguessr tournaments too and often wins with ease.

hes the type to do google maps speedruns as well, and none of his friends are nearly as good as he is.

if youre ever lost somewhere, just send kazuha a pick of your surroundings on twitter, and hes sure to find your cross streets soon enough!

“you said how i got your address…? dont even worry about that bro.”

youre literally just there to distract kazuha, if im being entirely honest.

oh, hes 1 guess away from a 50 state streak ? not if you can do anything about it. especially if he had a penalty set up for getting answers wrong.

he has called you a pest multiple times, but its out of love <3 i dont genuinely think he could ever get mad at you for real, hes very calm all the time.

he also likes to share poetry! on the days you (lovingly) annoy him he likes to write funky lil haikus about how annoying you are <3 isnt that sweet?

what can i say, hes a funny little jokester, at least on camera. when its just the two of you alone hes a lot more romantic, i promise.

“shall i compare thee to a summers day? no, a summers day is not a bitch.”

VENTI - THE GENSHIN STREAMER

pretend for a second that hes not a character in the game, or even better yet, he voice acts one of the characters. venti never shuts up about how good his team comp is and how he always manages to get the characters he wants. (secretly hes just spending a LOT of money.)

character build reviews but hes actually pretty nice about it! sometimes there will be a build that he cannot physically say anything good about and its entertaining, so chat started sending in builds that were purposely bad just to get reactions out of him LMAO.

adventure rank 60, no doubt about it.

the most annoying co-op player. oh you wanted to be that character? too bad, now hes going to play them and hes got a better build too, guess you should switch <3

SOOO many unfinished quests yet he complains he has nothing to do. (guilty)

“go touch grass? im a genshin player… what is that supposed to mean?”

venti loves telling the story of how you two met in genshin co-op. you on the other hand.. well you wish he would stop talking about it every stream you appear in.

lots of streams together! he wont wish for a character without you, he claims youre his good luck charm. (he loses most of the 50/50s.)

will help you do any quest! as long as he wants to, and its one that he knows how to do. so maybe not ANY quest, but hes trying his best.

he may be annoying with strangers in co-op domains, but any character you want to play you can. no questions asked, hell switch immediately.

he does more damage than you but hell still say that you did all the hard work and hes proud of you <3

ITTO - THE FORTNITE STREAMER

“wow you did so much damage just now, you absolutely carried me! thank you, i love you. :)”

the best part about itto being a fortnite streamer is hes not even good at the game.

he tries his best, really he does. but somehow those cracked 12 year olds have got him beat.

has spent an embarrassing amount of money on the game, but you can tell how much he appreciates every item hes acquired.

plugs his creator code CONSTANTLY. hes gotta make that money hes spent back somehow!

whenever he has a really bad loss he just blames it on stream sniping because he can. yeah i basically turned him into ninja, whoops!

“oh my god bro again? you know what, reported for stream sniping!”

you and itto are truly a dynamic duo. youre actually decent at the game and hes entertaining to watch.

chat loves when you play duos games together, and you both do too! (even though hell take all the credit if you win.)

his favorite item is the chug cannon, mostly because he wants to make sure youre full health and shield at all times <3

has made many sacrifices of his characters life in you honor, even if you still dont end up winning, you appreciate it.

lots of moments from his streams have been clipped and put into funny moments montages and they all go straight to his neverending ego.

“we are the clowns and you all have front row seats to the circus.”

THOMA - THE VARIETY STREAMER

i couldnt see thoma sticking to one main category, i feel like every stream hes doing something new, and hes somehow pretty good at anything he tries out.

his commentary is really what gets people to stick around for his content, he can make anything sound interesting.

think of him as a steamer like rtgame! hes got really fun sims and hitman series, games you dont think could be made funny, but then he does and its overall a really great time.

hes got so many inside jokes from all the games hes played, youve got to be there for every stream otherwise you miss out heavily.

nobody even knew what he looked like for awhile because he didnt have a facecam, but once he started using one his viewers went up by 100k, no joke.

“where is that from? oh, its an inside joke, you probably wouldnt get it.”

thomas viewers are literally so jealous of you. youve pulled the ultimate man right there.

honestly i dont see you appearing on his steams much other than for the occasional mario party game.

i feel like since you never really appear most of his viewers didnt even know you two were dating until those random streams happen. everytime it does twitter goes wild with “THOMA HAS A S/O?” and half the replies are also freaking out while the other half is like “you didnt know?” its a mess every time.

most likely youre in thomas chat instead of in the room, and you tend to instigate chat into spamming emotes a lot and getting it turned to sub only mode. its honestly pretty funny.

one time you walked into his room to ask if he wanted mcdonalds and he was watching paint dry. this had been going on for 4 hours. you didnt ask questions.

“the hoes gonna love this.”

SHENHE - THE CALL OF DUTY PLAYER

i think call of duty lobbies are the only place on earth that can handle shenhe if shes genuinely angry.

shes a toxic gamer for sure, dont get on her bad side.

shes gotten pretty good at the game too, shes one of those people who buys the new game everytime one comes out instead of just playing the same version.

chongyun will make appearances at times, they played mario party together once and it was hilarious. (for the viewers at least, maybe not chongyun though LMAO)

chongyun won and she 1v1ed him in nuketown right afterwards. (hes never won against shenhe again)

“everybody gangsta til chongyun is in the lead.”

chat doesnt understand how you can handle shenhe half the times, but truthfully she just has her own way of expressing her emotions.

for example, she broke one of your controllers playing once, and she drove her ass to best buy at almost midnight to go get you a new one, along with a note saying nothing but “sorry :(“ in the prettiest handwriting youve ever seen.

sometimes you even make her angry on purpose just because its funny, and you know no matter how much it may look like it, she could never get mad at you.

i know i said shenhe was a cod streamer, but imagine also playing apex with her alright? definitely a loba main, and shes literally just as toxic on here as she is on call of duty. 

probably has had 3 xbox accounts banned already.

“no chat i am not saying slurs in general chat, this time at least.”

[a-boca-do-inferno]

eyes never lie (tom hagen x reader)

summary: A little party never killed nobody, right? 

warnings: cheating, swearing, smut, angst-ish

words: 2.8k

notes: the amount of time i spent on this is embarrassing lmao. this is 100% self-indulged btw and also only fiction pls do not cheat on your significant other (only with cute little mafia men <3). enjoy!

A long sigh escaped your lips for the thousandth time as you only kept nodding at whatever Connie was saying. You just couldn’t pay attention to the conversation anymore; your boredom was far greater than any other feeling you had now. Business meetings felt like a slap in the face and these type of “family fraternizations” were always a hard pass for you, as you very much preferred a simple afternoon coffee with your mother-in-law, no shady men in fancy suits whispering to each other. Still, you were compelled to accompany your husband every now and then. You had a reputation to maintain even within family, after all. 

“C’mon, (y/n), I’m sure you’re gonna love it!”, it’s Connie’s voice once more, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

You shake your head slightly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Connie. Michael won’t like not seeing me here.” 

“Oh, please, it’s not like we’re gonna miss anything”, she waves her hand in a sneering gesture, pointing with her chin in the direction of your husband’s office. “Besides, they’re working now. Michael’s mind is clearly elsewhere, he won’t even notice you’re gone.” 

You couldn’t help but sigh this time. Connie was just too persistent for her own good. You take a look at the wooden door to your side and nod briefly, giving up. “Fine. But we’ll be back before eleven, you hear me?!” 

She only smiled triumphally, already making her way out the mansion while you followed her suit. A rush of excitement rushed through your body as you got in her car, driving off to God knows where. You liked Connie because she was fearless, reckless, even a little bit crazy at times. She was truly a breath of fresh air from all the tension surrounding your family, you even considered her one of your best friends. So, despite not knowing exactly what she had in mind, you trusted her. Besides, maybe what you needed was really just a quick get-away.  

A little party never killed nobody, right? 

Before marrying Michael, you had already been a friend of the Corleone family for many years. When Vito died, you became much closer with Carmela; they both always treated you like a daughter, after all, long afore you got engaged to their son. The boys and Connie even used to joke about you being the “female Tom Hagen”, especially Tom Hagen himself, while flashing you a warm smile whenever you were around their house. You always thought he was the kindest Corleone man — as ironic as that may sound, since he was adopted —, so you found pleasant being referred to as such, although the joke was now but a good memory from the past.  

As time went on, it only made sense you’d end up marrying one of their sons one day. Don Corleone was never really subtle about wanting you to “birth him some grandchildren”, as he liked to say. Michael eventually proposed to you when he got back from Sicily, not really taking anyone by surprise, what with everyone’s revelation that his endearment to you had been no secret from the start. It was such a beautiful ceremony, you still remember Vito’s happiness to this day... But ever since he passed away, things started to change. Mostly with Michael, of course, as he was now the head of the family business.  

You have no quarrel with his line of work, never had; however, you would be lying if you said it sometimes didn’t take a toll in your marriage. Most notably in the past few months, where you’d both often find yourselves in a pointless argument about the stupidest things. You liked to think it had little to do with your relationship per se, and rather his stressful job, but at times it felt as though you weren’t happy as a couple anymore. He became more possessive by the day, even going as far as ordering you around like one of his henchmen. And although you did not like that, not one bit — especially because you were raised to have dignity, something his own father had taught you on many occasions —, as his wife, you had to oblige and understand your position. And you did, heaven knows.  

But God, was it tiring. 

“We’re here!”, Connie announces happily, parking in front of a modest building. She glances at you briefly before getting out of the vehicle. “Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve come here. I found this place right after I left Carlo. C’mon, let’s party!” 

You chuckled at her almost cartoonish excitement, accompanying her up the three steps that lead toward the door. You didn’t know that neighbourhood, and to be honest it didn’t feel very safe, but Connie seemed to be familiar with the surroundings, so it couldn’t be that bad. You trusted her, after all.  

The door slowly opened and caught your attention. You were greeted by a woman in her fifties, probably, and she offered a warm, even motherly smile to Connie. They both hugged tightly and you raised a brow, still lost as to who that was and where you actually were. The lady then measured you up and down before clapping her hands in a pleased gesture, coming to give you a hug as well.  

“Mrs. Corleone, what a pleasure! Welcome, welcome!”, she patted your back in enthusiasm, looking at you with content eyes. “Come on in, make yourselves at home.” 

You blinked once, still taken aback by her display of affection to you when you had never seen that woman in your life, but she didn’t seem to notice or mind it. You watched as she made way for you to come inside and Connie readily grabbed your wrist, pulling you to follow her around. The door closed behind you and you were in what it seemed to be a living room of sorts. You exchanged a look with Connie and she nodded happily, unable to hold back her delight. It only got you more curious.  

The smell in the air was nicotine, incense and alcohol. There were two red couches next to each other, just in the beginning of the corridor, and both looked ancient. The walls were a dark, almost faded shade of brown, and the infiltration was blatant on all of them. You all walked past the living room, towards the hallway. As you got to what it looked like an office of some kind, a chatter coming from upstairs only got louder. There were laughing and singing, so you took it the “party” your sister-in-law talked about earlier was certainly taking place up there.  

“Connie, what...”  

You’re cut off by the woman stopping in her tracks, urging you both to do the same. She is still grinning while staring at you. “Would you like separate rooms?” 

“Yes!”, Connie says, turning to you. “You’ll be fine by yourself, (y/n), won’t you? You’re a grown-up", she has a mischievous look on her face. 

You frown, bothered by all of that suspense. “Connie, what is this place?” 

“The finest brothel in town, my dear!”, the woman chimes in. 

Your eyes widen in panic. “The finest what?”, you gasp and Connie only chuckles at your disbelief, waving her hand. “Connie, you said it was a party.” 

“Well, it is!”, she shrugs, then glances back at the lady. “We’ll take two separate rooms next to each other. Apparently Mrs. Corleone here has been married for so long, she forgot how to jolly up.” 

“I am absolutely not...” 

“You don’t have to have sex with anyone, silly”, Connie cuts you off. “It’s just for the laughs!”, she then giggles like a child, which only makes the situation more obnoxious in your head. Still holding your arm, she adds, “c’mon, Dorothy will show us the way.” 

You couldn’t believe what was happening, but you couldn’t stop your legs from following them upstairs either. There was a sting of sordid curiosity in your chest, and with it being wrapped up in that same rush of excitement of doing something different for a change, your brain just wouldn’t order your body to turn around and go back to your husband. You tried to remind yourself it was merely for the laughs, at last. No one would ever find out anyways, especially not Michael; so, you were safe.  

You arrived at the second floor only to be met with a couple of women standing there. Each one of them had some cheap, dirty dress, contrasting with their beauty. All eyes fell upon you and you felt your cheeks heat up. You avoided their gaze to look back at Connie and she bore the same amusement as she pointed to the last door in the corridor, encouraging you with a nod. You scoffed, shaking your head. This was such a stupid thing, rich and respectable women posing as prostitutes only for the jokes, but you still couldn’t deny that you liked the little feeling of adventure growing inside you.  

“Have fun!”, Connie says as you walk away from her, causing you to roll your eyes in a mix of irritation and mirth. 

You opened the door and everything was dark inside. You supposed there wasn’t any “client” yet, so you simply made your way to the empty bed, sitting on the edge. It was surprisingly inviting and soft for a brothel’s furniture, making you lean in on the pillows and sit more comfortably. For a moment you closed your eyes and pretended you were back at home, in your own bed, waiting for Michael to come out of the bathroom and take you as passionately as he used to, before your relationship started to struggle. You couldn’t even remember the last time you made love with him that felt really good, and not just something to get you both off for the night. He was a busy man, you knew that, but having to constantly share him with his work frustrated you to no end as of lately.  

The doorknob made a sound and you jumped in your spot, sitting back on the edge of the mattress in a swift movement. Anticipation ran through your whole body when you saw a silhouette approaching in the darkness, closing the door as it was swallowed fully by the blackness inside the room. The man’s footsteps were like drums in your ears, following the same rhythm as the rapid beating of your heart.  

You cleared your throat while he stopped by the bedside lamp, right in front of you, and your breath hitched as he turned on the light. You stared at each other with a rather comical shock at first, a stretching silence around you. Tom’s mouth still hung open when you got up and stood face to face with him, so close you could take in every single note of his strong cologne. It made you feel almost dizzy.  

“It’s not what you think”, you are the first one to speak, widened eyes as you blink nervously at him. “But please, don’t tell anyone”, you add, and the desperation in your voice sounds too pathetic to your own ears. 

Tom merely nods. “I wasn’t gonna.”  

And just like that, all your worries seem to disappear into thin air. Suddenly his hot, heavy breath against your lips is the only thing there is in your senses, similar to liquor warming every inch of your body as it streams down your throat. Your hands automatically land on his chest and his reaction is instant, pulling you into an urgent kiss without another word. Initially, you’re unable to think of anything else other than the pressure his tongue puts on yours, sweeping your mouth at an agonizingly slow pace. But as soon as you need to part ways looking for air, reality comes crashing down on you. This is your brother-in-law, for Christ’s sake. 

What are you doing? 

“This is wrong”, you choke, shaking your head quickly as you back away from him. Tom himself doesn’t look the least distressed, but then again, you can’t remember ever seeing him out of his usual collected demeanour for any reason; even in moments of pain and panic, as they are so common in the family business. You hug your body protectively, avoiding his piercing gaze that right now is just too calm for your liking. “I’m only here because Connie brought me”, you begin, not wanting to blame it all on Connie, but it was technically the truth. “I wasn’t going to... Nothing was going to happen. It was just for the laughs”, you can’t help but let out a miserable chuckle, your last words but a whisper as if even your brain couldn’t believe them anymore. 

“I’m not accusing you of anything, (y/n)”, his voice is soft as a lullaby, ironically causing your insides to turn. Tom then takes an experimental step towards you and you hold your breath involuntarily, the maddening feel of his lips still lingering on yours. He laughs lightly, probably amused by your poor control over your emotions. “I already told you I’m not going to say anything, I would never do that to you.” 

“I believe you”, you sigh in defeat, finally giving up. Your shoulders slump and Tom takes the signal as an invitation, taking another step closer to you. His face is against the light now, but it somehow highlights the design of his jaw. It’s breath-taking. “Tom...” 

“You kissed me back”, he points out matter-of-factly, and you feel your cheeks burn. His fingertips touch your face and now it’s impossible to escape his dark eyes. “Why?”, comes the unexpected murmur, making you frown slightly. 

“You know why, Tom”, you offer him a small smile, trying to find any lingering doubt in his orbs. You don’t. “The eyes never lie, do they?” 

He shrugs, gripping your waist again as he pulls you close. “Let’s find out now.” 

Then it comes again, that wave of anticipation drowning you before you can even get to the surface for air. The kiss is as desperate as the first, hard, and his weight presses you against the bedroom door with a loud thud. It hurts a little, but you’re more focused on the way your whole body tingles when his hands roam your bust, squeezing and caressing every inch of skin they find in their path. His mouth tastes like cigarettes and alcohol on yours, yet his movements are as sober as it gets. Cold, long fingers grip at your sides and you put your legs around his hips in a tight hold, reflexively.  

Your dress is violently pushed up and your underwear is swiftly put to the side, exposing your core to the coldness of the room. A moan escapes your lips as Tom enters you with no delicacy and he finds your swollen mouth for another deep, wet kiss. You both wanted this, there wasn’t really need for any ceremonies. And the eyes in fact did not lie; not with his sweaty body trapping yours in such an urgent pounding, not with the way his breath mixed in with yours from time to time, making you share the same hot air. He let out a quiet groan when your walls tightened around him and you smiled briefly, not being able to hold back the loud sounds leaving your own mouth when his tongue went towards the spot between your breasts, painting it glossy with his saliva.  

“Fuck, fuck!”, you blurted out, digging your nails on his shoulders.  

His hips were crushing you against the wooden door now and you were sure the thud was blaring enough to be heard outside in the hallway, but you couldn’t care less. He thrust one, two, three times more and a third wave of anticipation hit your body, while you trembled in his arms before going absolutely limp. Tom came right after, splashing the inside of your thighs in white colour. You stayed with your legs straddling him for a few seconds, trying to catch your breath.  

The silence between you was somewhat pleasant and you let yourself forget everything, for that moment: Michael, your marriage, the family business... All that mattered now was how tender Tom’s hands were caressing your hips under the dress mindlessly, while his face was buried in your neck. His mouth was still pressed to your skin, but it did nothing there. No kiss, it just lingered on your pores. You felt a shiver up your spine as your eyes met his again, only to find there not a single drop of regret or shame.  

Tom then left a quick peck on your collarbone, seeming to be entertained by how your chest rose up and down. “Are you okay?”, he speaks softly, waiting for your answer with no rush in his bearing. This was nice, you reckoned, how so much different he was from your husband. Michael’s calmness was calculating, cold, intense; Tom’s was soothing. You appreciated that right now.  

“I am”, you murmur, with heated cheeks as you remember the position you’re both still in. “Are you?” 

Tom looks away for a moment, seeming to think of his reply. Then a faint smile paints his lips, and you just know. But he asks, anyway, “can’t you see it in my eyes?” 

[sunshineseung]

I present to you…

Sexual thing Stray Kids want to try but are too ashamed of or shy to tell you!

Chan: He really loves using toys on you, but he wants you to use a toy on him! You look so good when he uses a vibrator on you, and even if he’s domming, he wants you to see him the same way. You already always pleasure him, but he thinks it could be more fun with some new toys :)

Minho: he knows you like to be dommed, and he loooves to dominate you… but he secretly wants to sub. Even if it’s just for one night! Everything he does to you he wants you to do to him. Tie him up, tease him, fuck him, make him cry, the works. He just doesn’t want you to lose any respect for him.

Changbin: ouch, anal. He wants to fuck your ass until the sun comes up but he’s so scared of how you’ll react. He knows it’s super taboo and he doesn’t want to scare you away. He’ll usually fuck you doggy style and just stare at your ass, wishing he could just swap holes lmao poor Binnie :(

Hyunjin: he wants to cum on your face soooo bad. You swallow a lot and he appreciates the easy clean up but oh my god the amount of times this man has been dying to just pull out and release all over your face is too many to count. Really likes when ur messy for him, but he doesn’t know how to tell you not to swallow since he always praises you after lol

Jisung: pls degrade this man. You always praise him for being such a “good boy” but he constantly fantasizes about you just humiliating and making fun of him as mean as possible. His ego gets in the way of him telling you that, though. Also he doesn’t want to get his feelings to hurt :(((

Felix: he really likes vanilla, loving sex with you, but sometimes he gets a little whiny and babyish and you’re like “huh?” becuase felix doesn’t have the guts to tell you he’s into age play/pet play and going into subspace while being fucked. It’s so embarrassing to him, and his kinks are just something he fantasizes about. He can’t imagine telling you all of his dirty little thoughts, let alone about him acting like a child or an animal while you play with him. You just need to coax it out of him, that’s all.

Seungmin: minnie gets tired fast :( this is a lil different from the others but Seungmin over here can (probably) only cum once, and after that, he’s spent. You really wear this poor boy out! He doesn’t have the highest sex drive, and he really wants to pleasure you, but it can be hard sometimes. He just can’t tell you because he doesn’t want you to leave him. He wants to try taking things really slow, and just taking his time with you without the ‘goal’ being an orgasm, yours or his.

Jeongin: most things. Honestly, truly, most things. One thing in particular tho? He’s terrified to even initiate the idea of having a threesome. He would love to fuck you and another girl, but he doesn’t want you to think he wants to cheat or leave you for someone else.

[tobiosmilktea]

hello there. my bday is around the corner and i was wondering how would random haikyuu boys celebrate it with u 💓

how the haikyuu boys will celebrate your birthday with you

a/n: my birthday is just around the corner too so this was really fun to write 🥺 i decided to do it by team bc i couldn’t pick who boys to do lmao

— karasuno

i think they’ll definitely pull some intricate plan that will go wrong one way or another

like a surprise party maybe

it was fs nishinoya and tanaka’s idea to set one up after school in the gym where they tell everyone to pretend to forget your birthday just to add that special element of surprise

but then again, guys like tsukishima and kageyama don���t need to pretend they didn’t know your birthday because they truly didn’t until hinata brought it up to them (don’t take it too personally tho lmao)

speaking of which, hinata almost spoiled the surprise for you if yachi wasn’t there to distract you 💀

despite being the second year’s idea to throw this surprise party for you, it’s primarily the third years doing all the work since tanaka and nishinoya don’t know how to organize a party for shit

poor kiyoko is actually doing all the work while daichi and asahi are putting up decorations with the help of the first years (tsukishima had to be forced tho smh)

yamaguchi and yachi seem like the types to overthink what to get you for a birthday present, probably going all out while kageyama would just buy you your favorite drink and snack from the vending machine near the gym literally five minutes before the surprise

it’s the thought that counts ig

sugawara made your cake as well with the usual message, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N !!’

and since the surprise party was being held in the gym after practice, everyone had to hurry and clean up before setting out all the decorations. and can i just say, it’s chaotic™️

yachi had to distract you for a good ten minutes by asking you to walk all the way towards the other end of campus to ‘get something’ that didn’t exist in the first place

meanwhile in the gym, the second years were in charge of taking down the volleyball net to replace it with a badly homemade painting with tanaka’s messy ass handwriting wishing you a happy birthday

the third years and first years as mentioned before were setting up decorations, hanging up streamers, setting out balloons, and handing out party poppers

with kiyoko, takeda-sensei, and ukai set out a table for sugawara to place the cake he made for you (which it almost fell cause ennoshita bumped into him)

hinata was also on the lookout if you and yachi were nearby

and when you were, he shout so loudly that even you heard down the hall

finishing up any last minute details, the team sets out their presents for you with their party poppers in hand before shouting, “SURPRISE!!”

it’s all fun and games until nishinoya accidentally released confetti at your face by accident

he made up for it with his present though lmao

— aoba johsai

saying that seijoh probably won’t do anything as big as a surprise party is a complete lie

knowing oikawa and the moment he found out it was going to be your birthday soon, he’ll plan something more extravagant than some lame surprise party (albeit, badly planned without the help of iwa)

he’d probably rent out a party bus to drive around the city before stopping by at some random karaoke place downtown

he’ll only invite the third years and your close friends so it isn’t too big of a celebration that it doesn’t feel like it’s your own party

the best part of the night was mattsun absolutely outshining oikawa in literally everything

there was even a stripper pole in the party bus and he just started fucking around with you to pretending to make it rain on him,, it was hilarious

you love rewatching the videos you took of that night

your favorite (besides stripper matsukawa) was iwa singing a ballad for you and when i say that man has vocals i mean it

at the end of the night, all your friends got up to sing happy birthday to you on the karaoke machine

the second years would probably feel bad celebrating your birthday with you, so instead they take you out to get udon after school and just vibe

you were honestly just surprised that it was kyotani’s idea to take you out like this, not to mention the cute gift he gave you that he put a lot of thought into

meanwhile i think the first years are just too intimidated by you minus kunimi

like kindaichi knew of your birthday but he was just too scared to go up to you and wish you a happy birthday before handing you your favorite convenient store snack as a little gift

— nekoma

unlike karasuno and seijoh, the way the nekoma boys celebrate with you is definitely on the more laidback side, yet they still put effort in wishing you a happy birthday

kenma, kuroo, and yaku would definitely stay up with you the night before your birthday playing video games just to be the first ones to wish you a happy birthday the moment the clock strikes midnight

they’ll even set up a minecraft server that kenma spent hours setting up and building everything that you like with a gigantic banner made out of your favorite colors of wool saying ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!’

the rest of the night staying up playing party games on hypixel despite having school the next day

in the morning, you’d find kenma and kuroo waiting outside your house so they can walk the birthday celebrant to school, plus they had bags in their hands to which you assume were presents for you

it was then did you realize that you were going to get more throughout the day after kuroo mentioned how he told the team that it was your birthday

there was something embarrassing and a bit cringey being showered with attention for your birthday, especially at school, but you still appreciated the team’s efforts

throughout the day, people would notice the gifts in your hands and would wish you a happy birthday, definitely causing a stir in the school when yaku, lev, and yamamoto burst into your classroom to shout happy birthday

while yamamoto is literally showering you with birthday wishes and presents, lev would give you a cute plushie of your favorite animal along with a little cake

he’d probably ask to eat it with you during lunch lmao

by the end of the day, kuroo and kenma would help you carry all the presents you received as you guys end the day off getting ramen

— fukurodani

i don’t think they’ll make a big deal out of it knowing you don’t like making a big deal out of your birthday either

the only reason why they even found out that your birthday was around the corner is because bokuto couldn’t keep his mouth shut

it played out somewhere along the lines like this: akaashi would ask you if you were free this weekend so you two could study for the upcoming math exam

bokuto was there as well when you had to ask for a raincheck on studying as your parents were forcing you to go out on a celebratory birthday dinner (as by their words, “it’s the least you could do.”)

to which bokuto literally gasps and shouts, “IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND?” his words echoing throughout the gym and definitely catching the attention of the rest of the volleyball team

if that’s his reaction to finding out it’s your birthday soon, just imagine how shocked he would be when you tell him that you don’t really like celebrating it

akaashi would definitely understand and opted to buy you a little something for his appreciation and give it to you the following day, but bokuto wants to full on throw a party for you

“come on! it’ll just be a little get-together at the park!” he would beg

“thank you, bo, but i’m honestly fine just going out to dinner with my family.”

he would huff, planning to throw one as a surprise party instead, but akaashi immediately shoots down his idea out of respect for you

instead, bokuto would channel all that energy to giving “the best birthday gift of your life!” (end quote)

even konoha would challenge him on that just to tease him, but would still give you a well thought out gift

and yeah, it’s honestly kind of embarrassing seeing him walk into school with a box full of things you’re into including a giant owl plushie (school spirit ig??)

poor bo was outshined by yukie and kaori when they made a birthday cake for you

— shiratorizawa

lowkey i feel like shiratorizawa is definitely one of those private schools that would announce when their student’s birthdays are when they come close

like no one of the vb team would’ve found out your birthday was in a couple days if it wasn’t for that overhead announcement made by the vice principal

however, i wouldn’t think they’d make a huge deal out of it besides tendou maybe

the moment you would walk into the gymnasium, he’ll immediately wish you a happy birthday loudly before nudging ushijima to do the same

instead of one big party, you celebrated with them almost individually

tendou and ushijima both took you to the aquarium and bought you a gift that you specifically chose out cause they’d probably wouldn’t be bothered to do so without you

and then you’d go out with semi and reon to which you three just get sushi after school

lowkey i feel like they would buy literally anything you show even the tiniest amount of interest in and they’ll buy it within a snap

you literally had to stop semi from buying you anything else as he’ll end up spending all his pocket change when the sushi was enough

and unlike their upperclassman, shirabu and goshiki would probably just celebrate with you by just hanging out at your house--watching netflix, playing video games, maybe ordering some pizza

it’s pretty simple, but they’ll be there all day cause the time spent together is just really nice

— inarizaki

the twins literally cannot keep their mouths shut

the team was already pretty aware of your birthday, but they have been keeping the surprise party for you on the downlow ever since the twins proposed their idea of doing a little picnic for you

but go figure that it would be atsumu and osamu exposing their entire plan in front of you after nagging their team not to say jackshit in front of you

they’d still follow through with their plans, however, despite not being a surprise anymore

the little celebration would be held at the park, suna being in charge of the picnic blanket, kita being in charge of bringing drinks, osamu being in charge of bringing the food, and atsumu being in charge of... well,, bringing you ig

aran would arrive late only because he had to get his bday gift for you (which btw was the best one fs) as well as picking up your birthday cake with the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH <3′ 

it’s so obvious that suna was the one who ordered the cake, but it’s literally the best you have every received

overall, it’s pretty chill but you couldn’t ask for anything more knowing their efforts and how you’ve been laughing your ass off the entire time

you guys would even watch the sunset as yall sat atop a hill, taking photos to put on your stories and to post on social media

out of the hundreds of photos taken of you with your cake or aran force feeding suna food, the group photo taken exactly at golden hour was your absolute favorite

[ff-imagines]

uhm this is embarrassing thing to request but,,,,,,, how bout u know,,,,,, nsfw alphabet/scenario/hcs with blobster. 👁️👄👁️. I'm sorry.

Boston lobster: nsfw alphabet

Minors dni xoxo

A - aftercare

Admittedly kinda sloppy, it doesn’t occur to him that he should probably check up on you till he’s like “oh shit humans need water” and he suddenly shoots up to grab some and come back to you lmao

If you explicitly ask you get no back talk from him, he just carries you where you need to be and makes sure you’re feeling alright.

Will be endlessly prideful if u say you can’t walk, express your soreness at your sanities risk bc he’ll bring it up for ages

B- body parts

Oh he’s got no shame to tell you he loves your ass and thighs. The type to walk by you and give you a tap on the ass while smirking to himself. Doesn't matter how much or how little you've got he’ll still ask at least once if he can fuck your thighs lmao

Does his height count? He loves how he towers over most humans and food souls alike, chances are he’s probably taller than you, and he really likes that. Sulks a bit if you’re actually taller than him lmao.

They aren’t his favourite part of him but I gotta talk about the antennae. They’re weirdly sensitive, pulling him makes him squeak, which ends with him chasing you or with him chasing you, take your pick. When he catches you he makes it his goal to find a weirdly sensitive part of your body and to tease that spot endlessly. Tickle fight ensues but it’s more like you’re suffering while he’s maniacally laughing above you.

C - cum

It’s thick as fuck and very salty, rip lmao

He likes to cum inside or on your thighs, look they’re very squishy and nice ok he can’t help it </3

He’s also obsessed with not only making you cum, but just… your cum. Amab or afab readers, he will delight in making you watch him swallow. Would also bring his hand up to make you taste yourself, grinning the whole damn way.

D - dirty secret

He’s really affected by scents. If you have a signature perfume or cologne you wear all the time it can make him unbearably horny, since the smell lingers on his sheets and on his clothes long after you’re gone.

E - experience

A fair amount, out of curiosity. Not too many times as he’s spent a lot of years in total isolation. His curiosity is a more recent development, he finds he likes the feeling but something is just missing from his hookups. Then he meets you and is like “ohhhh a relationship is what it was, damn.” Once he realizes that, and even a little bit before when he first starts noticing his internal unease, the hookups stop so he can figure out how to swallow his pride and try and ask a human out lmao

F - favorite position

He loves doggy style because it’s just so so easy to control you that way. He loves to pull you back by your arms, spearing inside you at a punishing pace.

He also would love if you were flexible enough to push into a mating press, getting right next to your ear, whispering about how close he is.

G - goofy

Surprisingly, yea! He’s actually pretty good at making fun of himself, he just doesn’t do it often and doesn’t like it when someone he’s not close to does it. He gives little teases here and there, it eases tension quite a lot.

H- hair

He doesn’t shave for shit lmao. Intense happy trail, intense amount of body hair over all, he actually prefers it that way.

He keeps the same energy with your body hair and will come out and tell you he kinda likes it if you don’t shave. Ultimately he doesn’t think on it too hard, it doesn’t bother him in the end, whatever you want, he wants too!

I- intimacy

He’s not so good at being truly intimate, it’s just not something he’s used to being. If you ever, by some miracle, convince him to let you top him, he’s actually a lot softer and it’s easier to let his feelings speak for him. He also discovers he likes getting dommed a lot but he won’t tell you that lmao

J- jerk off

Not too often, he’s either super busy or he could just find you and solve the problem in an even more satisfying way.

If he ever can’t, expect him to grab one of your shirts to press to his nose as he fists his cock, the feeling of being surrounded by you is enough to help him finish when he desperately needs it.

K- Kinks

Well, the scent thing ofc.

He’s really into risky sex, a true exhibitionist. He’s hot, you’re hot, who wouldn’t want to see you both put on a show? If it gets it into their heads that no matter how bad they want you, you belong to him, your place is right here, getting split apart on his cock, he’ll make sure the message gets across.

Huge breeding kink. Hates the idea of kids but really likes the idea of claiming your insides. He’d love to push you into the mattress and release as deep as he can go.

He’s into humiliation as well, let him tease you while calling you his sweet little whore, he'll make it worth your while.

He’d love if you let him tie you up, he’d probably get into doing fancy designs that accentuates your body in the best way. A pretty rope to tie up and dick down a pretty s/o.

Also I can’t look at his skin where he’s got that suit on and not know he’s got a daddy kink, I just can’t. He doesn’t care for anything other than the title, it’s more about power than anything else. Call him daddy in public and watch how fast you get taken to a more private area. Or, maybe a less than private area, if you’d let him.

He’s got a thing for size difference as well, he loves to loom over you, even if he isn’t actually bigger than you.

L- location

Anywhere, anytime. He’s a prideful bastard, he’ll show off his ability to get you drunk off his cock any way he can. Not only isn’t there a spot in your house he hasn’t fucked you on, there probably isn’t a place on your street either.

M- motivation

What really gets him going is seeing you when you're at your most confident. If you come to him beaming about winning an award, wearing an outfit you feel great in, even if you just say something cocky, it just makes him so proud and eager to share that confidence with you. He doesn’t want to break you down, he wants to prop you up! Tell him about how good you feel, he’ll make you feel even better <3

N- no

As much as he likes to show you off, he doesn’t actually like the thought of a third party joining in. He might be swayed if it’s someone he really trusts. He also doesn't like receiving humiliation, he’s much too prideful lmao

O- oral

Please suck him off, he’ll be kinda rough with you but he’ll be nicer if you ask. He prefers to be mean though lmao. He likes ordering you around on what to do when you’ve got his dick in your mouth, his words get more incoherent the closer he is, though.

He’s just as eager to give you head too, he treats you like a whole 7 course meal. He loves biting around your thighs before ever touching where you're desperate for him to.

P- pace

Oh he’s punishingly hard. Loves to have a fast steady pace then stop as deep as he can and roll his hips a bit to make sure you feel just how deep his dick is inside you.

There are rare days when he’s feeling soft, those days he’s slow and methodical, gripping into your hips to make sure you can’t wiggle to increase your own pleasure, he wants you to savour the high he gives you.

Q- quickies

Well, why not! So what if you’re in an alleyway near a busy street, and anyone can walk by and see you getting pounded? You’re feeling heated aren’t you? Don't kid yourself, just turn around and let him take care of you.

R- risk

He lives for it. If you’d let him he’d bounce you on his cock in a plainly public place, like a subway car.

It’s a big fantasy of his for someone who absolutely pines for you to flirt just a little too hard, you coming to him and letting him fuck your right in front of them. It fuels his pride beyond belief to show you off.

S- stamina

His refractory time is fairly low. Even if he...can? doesn't really mean he wants to. He prefers either one drawn out, long round where you’ve both been edged to the point of desperation, or a few quick rounds throughout the day.

T- toys

At first they kinda hurt his pride but then he’s like “wait I can strap them on a vibrator and just sit back and watch” and then he’s totally on board lmao.

Forcing you to sit on a chair with a vibrator he had the remote to, keeping you on the edge and smirking while you beg and snivel, having no actual plans to give into your pleading.

U- unfair

Oh fuck yea, strap in babes.

He loves loves to edge the fuck out of you, he’d drag it out for hours if you’d let him. Even better if he can tie you down so you can’t squirm away from what he’s giving you.

Overstimulation is just as exciting to him, but he actually loves it more on himself. Sometimes he’ll overstimulate himself on purpose by still continuing to buck into you even after he’s already cum, determined to chase a second high no matter how painful it feels.

V- volume

Loud groans, and he won’t stop talking. Loves to ask you questions when you’re clearly way too blissed out to answer in any sort of coherent way.

He gets a lot louder near his release, he loves to bite into your shoulder to try and muffle himself. If he decides to be bold and let you hear him, he grabs your jaw and brings his face right next to your ear. What a show off.

W- wild card

He kidnaps small items that remind him of you, not just things that smell like you. That one earring you always wear, a glove, a necklace, picks flowers that remind him of you for whatever reason, he might even go out of his way to buy things that remind him of you, keep them to himself for a while, then give it to you when he’s sure it smells enough like him. He gives your stuff back… eventually.

X- X Ray

Oh please… he spits, sweats, and bleeds big dick energy. I refuse to believe his dick isn’t big enough to make you nervous. Would have you sit on his lap and track a finger up your stomach to measure how deep his cock can go.

Y- yearning

He’s pretty likely to mold to your sexual drive. However often you need him, he’s at your beck and call. He likes to keep it closer to 2-3 times a week if he can.

Z- zzz

He doesn’t sleep all that easily at all, but it gets a little easier when he’s got you in his arms. Prefers to be big spoon, and as much as he hates getting overheated, he just can’t will himself to let go of you. It’s ironically one of the most peaceful sleeps he’s ever had.

[quinntheebrain]

Hi there! I was wondering if you could do a jealous bokuto x f!reader (preferably if not then gn! is fine). Like he gets jealous of his bby and kuroo getting along really well... a little too well lmao. Anyways, I hope your day/night is going great ya wonderful person <3

Pairing: Jealous!Bokuto Kōtarō x fem!reader

Warnings: implied alcohol use, a temporarily sad Bokuto, Ummm I curse????

A/N: *deep heavy sigh* I looked over this 1000x lmfao. I’m used to writing fics and not hcs, so they’re probably not the best (I gotta stop doubting myself). I’m always so nervous to share my writings, but this a learning process! Thanks for being my first request. It’s been a while since I wrote anything seriously and shared it. I really hope you enjoy it :) Also, somebody else (who I can’t think of rn) hc that Bokuto doesn’t drink, I just agree wholeheartedly. 

Oh, my precious baby Bokuto. He’s so cute it hurts🥺. 

He gets jealous easily. 

He’s so lively that people naturally gravitate toward him. So, he’s used to being the center of attention. 

Even though the only person’s attention he really cares about is yours.

Bokuto loves the way you look at him when he makes you smile. He loves the feeling of just being in your presence.

So, when he sees you and Kuroo smiling and laughing from across the bar he’s irritated. 

And when the two of you get a little too close for comfort, he’s fuming

...but for some reason, I feel like he wouldn’t say anything

Now, Bokuto would normally shut that shit down instantly.

But it’s Kuroo, his closest friend. He doesn’t want any kind of confrontation. He doesn’t want to cause a scene (I believe Bokuto could beat Kuroo’s ass)

So, he says nothing and instead spends the night alternating between super soft/affectionate and super distant. 

He’ll bring it up in private though. Half-jokingly asking if you’d prefer Kuroo to him. 

And when the conversation turns serious 

Don’t invalidate his feelings, don’t make him feel crazy. (he’ll curl up in a ball and it will be a long time before he opens up to you again)

RE-AS-SUR-ANCE!!!!!!!! He needs it; he will die without it. Please just tell this boy how much you love him. 

And please believe he doesn’t blame you alone. He talks to Kuroo after he talks to you.

Because next time, Bokuto won’t be so nice :)

This is the third time Kuroo has put his arm around you; Bokuto is counting. He watches you from across the room as he holds a conversation with Akaashi; though, at this point, his friend’s words are nothing more than background noise. 

You are supposed to be with them, but once Kuroo challenges you to a drinking contest, Bokuto knows it’s a lost cause. You promise to join him shortly and though he doesn’t believe you, he nods as if he does. Unlike you, and most of his friends, Bokuto doesn’t drink; he just doesn’t like the taste, but he wants you to have a good time. So, he goes to sit with Akaashi by himself but not before leaning down and pulling you into a soft kiss. Bokuto’s large palm caresses your cheek as his mouth moves delicately against your own; It’s quick and gentle, but it’s effective. His lips linger on yours just long enough to leave you wanting more; it’s a reminder that he’ll be waiting for you. 

But, 15 minutes have passed and you’re still glued to Kuroo’s side. 

Now, you’re a giggling mess, teasing one of your boyfriend’s closest friends, who seems to be enjoying the attention a little too much. The rest of their volleyball buddies watch and laugh, most of them far too inebriated to find anything wrong with the way the two of you are interacting. Bokuto, on the other hand, finds everything wrong with it. He watches you with narrow eyes and tightly clenched fists, trying his hardest to keep his composure.

“Your jealousy is showing,” Akaashi smirks at his best friend; Bokuto hasn’t been listening to a word he says. He wants to tease him about it but now doesn’t seem like the time. “Why don’t you just tell them it’s bothering you?” 

“They’re not doing it on purpose,” Bokuto sighs as he unclenches his fists, wiggling his fingers to crack his knuckles. “Besides, there was a time she couldn’t even be in the same room as Kuroo. I’m glad they’re friends now and if I say something I might ruin it.” he looks away from you and instead focuses on the ground. 

“Forget about Kuroo,” Akaashi says, slightly irritated. “What about you? If you don’t talk to her, you might ruin your relationship. You don’t want to harbor resentment toward the one you love,” Akaashi glances at Bokuto, who is unable to reply. They stand in silence for a short time. Akaashi doesn’t want to bombard Bokuto with advice; he knows that sometimes, a few thoughtful words are enough. “Look, it’ll be okay. I have to go.” Akaashi pats Bokuto’s shoulder, leaving him alone to think about the situation. 

Bokuto is truly happy that you and Kuroo have finally learned to get along but deep down, a part of him wishes the two of you never stopped the incessant bickering; part of him wishes that you still disliked Kuroo and he disliked you. Maybe, the petty arguments were nothing but an attempt to mask the attraction you felt toward each other but honestly, that’s what Bokuto would prefer. Because what’s happening now — you and Kuroo openly fawning over each other — is driving him crazy. 

I’m just imagining things, he thinks to himself. Maybe, there is no real meaning to the way the two of you are carrying on; but, watching as Kuroo embraces you in a hug that lingers a little longer than it should doesn’t ease his mind. Your face buried into Kuroo’s chest, his hands pressed firmly against your lower back as he rocks you side to side, it’s a bit more than Bokuto can handle. The thought of you in someone else’s arms so intimately bothers him, and pulling out your phone to take Kuroo’s contact info is the icing on the cake. 

Still, you’d never know how much it affects Bokuto because he approaches you like there’s nothing wrong, and though he tugs you away from Kuroo rather possessively, he does it with the brightest smile. “Alright, ready babe?” He looks down to you with those golden eyes, glimmering with adoration as he places a kiss on your forehead. You nod ‘yes’ quickly. “See you later, bro.” you both wave at his friends once more before the two of you exit the bar. 

A weight lifts from Bokuto’s shoulders as the door shuts behind him; the absence of his best friend shouldn’t put him at ease, but it does. Still, Bokuto has another problem. 

You don’t want to harbor resentment toward the one you love. Akaashi’s words play in his head like a broken record. If he doesn’t settle this now, he never will. His insecurities will continue to fester until he can no longer look at you the same.

“You and Kuroo were pretty cozy tonight,” he fakes a chuckle as he peers at you from the corner of his eye. “I’m glad you two are so close now.”

“Cozy?” you scrunch up your face. You could count the number of times Kuroo touched you on one hand (which was still too many for Bokuto).  You will admit that you spent an unusual amount of time with Kuroo, but he’s more entertaining when he’s drunk; it’s actually your favorite time to be around him. “Hardly. If anything,” you pause, “Wait a minute. Ko, are you jealous?” you manage to suppress your smile, but there's a hint of amusement in your tone. 

He doesn’t answer your question; it’s embarrassing enough to even be feeling this way and for you to call him out so quickly only makes it worse. He takes a deep breath, “Y/N,” Bokuto’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Do you ever think you’d be better off with Kuroo? I mean the two of you actually have a lot in common, and I just think-” the words sound crazy now that he’s finally saying them out loud. 

“No,” you say sternly and confidently, cutting off your boyfriend before he has the chance to ramble on. It’s reassuring how quick you are to shut the notion down. “Besides, we really only have one thing in common,” you pause in your tracks, forcing Bokuto to stop and look at you. 

“What’s that?”

“We both love you so much,” you can’t help but smile as you speak. Bokuto has such amazing people in his life and that warms your heart. “We would never try to hurt you; I would never try to hurt you. I’m so sorry for even making you feel like that.” the apology is sincere. Your glossy eyes are a giveaway. “If I haven’t made this clear, you are the only one for me. It’s you and me, together forever,” he wipes away a single tear; you hadn’t even realized you were crying. You never wanted to make him feel this way; he’s never sounded so defeated. Was he going to just hand you over to his best friend? Did he think you would accept that? “But really, Kuroo?” you pretend to vomit to lighten the mood. It makes you both laugh, something you desperately needed. 

“I love you,” Bokuto sighs in relief.  

“I love you too.” flinging your arms around his neck, you kiss him. 

There’s something almost enchanting about the way he immediately takes the lead. He doesn’t care about the taste of liquor that lingers in your mouth or the fact that you still smell like Kuroo’s cologne; at this moment, Bokuto only cares about you. His lips glide over yours passionately, yet ever so gently; your tongue sporadically teases his bottom lip, his teeth occasionally nibble on yours. It’s a steady rhythm that makes you weak in the knees. His hands find their way to your waist, then to your back, sliding down until they’re secure in your back pockets. 

Bokuto pulls away, pressing his forehead against yours. “Let’s get home, yeah?” he squeezes your ass before he removes his hands from your pocket; intertwining his fingers with yours, Bokuto starts to walk again. 

“Yeah,” you repeat with a smile on your face, nodding eagerly as he pulls you down the sidewalk. 

[le-loup-et-lion]

I know I talked about this on Discord once ages ago but did I ever tell you guys about my absurd harvest-mouse!Javert au?

Basically it's brick canon until Javert says to Valjean "I will wait for you here", at which point due to inexplicable fairy tale-esque 'you told a lie for the first time in your life' magic curse bullshit Javert is transformed right in front of Valjean into one of these lil guys:

Conceptually it's completely ridiculous, but what makes it funny is that's it's played completely straight.

"Autumn, you seem like a fairly serious person when it comes to this fandom so why on earth would you come up with something this silly" you say? well. you see. it literally came to me in a dream (no, seriously).

I imagine it as a very terrifying and painful transformation, which starts out almost like the pangs of a heart attack, with Javert clutching his chest and doubling over with a grunt as Valjean is walking away, causing Valjean to turn back around and kneel down with him, grabbing him by his shoulders and trying to assess what's wrong with him, ending up bewildered as Javert begins to glow with an eerie golden light which eventually engulfs him (but not before Javert can look up and meet his eyes one last time with an utterly petrified, vulnerable, pleading look). Then this blinding luminous form shrinks in Valjean's grasp until it is naught but a small floating orb, at which point the light begins to fade and whatever is left of Javert starts to fall. Valjean catches it in his hands and, somewhat horrified and awestruck, opens them to reveal the tinest little mouse he's ever seen curled up in his palms within the faintest fading golden glow.

Javert goes unconscious during this transformation, leaving Valjean to trudge back to his apartment in complete confusion with him (very gently) in hand, highly questioning his own sanity the entire time until Javert is able to wake up again and respond to basic yes/no questions.

(Javert of course absolutely loses his mind at first and tries to run away as soon as he begins to process the situation, but is unused to his new body and runs right off the edge of the table without thinking, forcing Valjean to panic lunge across the tabletop and grab him midair to prevent him from falling and hurting himself)

Anyway they are both very rattled and perplexed by this and Valjean keeps him at his apartment because they don't know what else to do.

Their whole hunter/prey antagonist/protagonist relationship gets pretty immediately and completely derailed by this, but not in like, a neatly resolved way, because they can't really just have a conversation about it at first, leading to ... a pretty weird mental state for both of them for quite awhile.

It also levels the playing field between them in a way because Javert was the only one who "knew" Valjean, and now Valjean is the only one who "knows" Javert.

Javert can't talk obviously but he CAN dip his little tail in an inkwell and write with surprisingly humanlike penmanship. (Also harvest mice have prehensile tails which they use to climb around vegetation; so it's more useful than he initially realizes—I wonder if they would be dexterous enough for him to write with just the tail itself, without having to grasp it like a pen in his front paw?)

His top hat fell off while he was transforming so it didn't transform with him (thereby remaining the only real proof of the situation, sort of) and Valjean sat it on his bedside table and filled it with bits of fabric (I like to think they're different colored cravats) for Javert to use as a hiding place/bed, which is just. the cutest thing ever if you picture it.

People on Discord were laughing about the idea of him wearing, like, a little waistcoat from a doll or something bc he's nakey and embarrassed about it lmao

I was thinking that shortly after this Valjean might fall ill, perhaps due to some wounds he received at the barricade (bullet grazes?) becoming infected by all the sewer muck he was wading around in, leaving him bedridden and unsure of the future (hmm, just like Marius). This would give him plenty of time to talk openly with Javert without anyone seeing, but also mainly force him to worry about Javert's immediate future as well, perhaps in his own absence (though he doesn't die in the end, of course). And then, their overwhelming mortality would probably make Valjean start talking about things he wouldn't otherwise have brought up.

Eventually after a long time of living with Valjean and watching him interact with others, and realizing the kind of person he is/that people can change/that the law and justice are two separate concepts/that he has spent his life helping to oppress people who often didn't deserve it, Javert manages to tolerate/accept and even appreciate Valjean in a sort of backwards Beauty and the Beast type au, and would turn back into his old human self again. But I haven't figured out exactly what the specific caveats of this "curse" (and therefore the breaking thereof) would be yet.

Like. Is it about being honest with oneself and others? Is it about learning to love? Is it about how seeing the humanity of others and treating them humanely is fundamental to what makes us human? What would break the curse, exactly? A kiss? A confession of some kind? A selfless act? Certainly it is more about him learning to love than it is about him becoming loveable; but then, are those two concepts not inseparably intertwined?

And why did he turn into a mouse, specifically, to begin with? (The real answer here is that my subconscious picked it while I was asleep, so I'm not sure; but) I feel like, in a metaphorical sense, Javert is a mouse who wholeheartedly believes himself to be a lion.

By which I mean, he was born into a position of powerlessness in society due to classism, racism, moral persecution, and economic inequality, and because of this he sought respect and power; but instead of trying to gain these things by fighting against the oppressive system he faced (as he believed it to be an unwinnable battle), he caved into it entirely and chose to become a servant of it, in return for a scant amount of personal security and the illusion of authority.

At the end of the day, however, he is still impoverished, disrespected, and distrusted. He is lying to himself in that he believes that through his self-sacrificial and self-stifling choices, he has fulfilled his goals to rise through the ranks of society, becoming his "morally best" self—but the reality is almost exactly the opposite. He has become the self-same monster that would gladly oppress people like him and his family. And he makes the choice to continue being that monster every day, because at least now he feels powerful; at least now people fear him enough to pretend they respect him.

Perhaps it is fitting, then, that his illusions finally break around him as he chooses to knowingly lie, not just to himself this time, but finally—and for the very first time—out loud. And in the admittance of his dishonesty to himself, he transforms physically into what he truly was all along—meek and small, voiceless and powerless; an inconvenient and easily forgotten pest in the eyes of society.

Would the acceptance of this truth, and the embracing of true humility, be what breaks him of the curse then; restoring to him his physical humanity at the restoration of his spiritual humanity?

I never fully figured out the plot direction for this au but I still think about it now and then and try to add to it in my head. So possibly, one day longggg in the future, you may see. a very silly little fic on AO3

[narumi-gens]

your tag on the self-ship music thing made me laugh but also what an excellent choice for naoya, truly. truly.

also the music taste being judged thing is so real lmao i may have nixed a few songs bc i was like no. no they can't know that. not yet. idk how gege did it knowing those songs would be forever associated with the characters

I had half a second where I was like “do I really ship myself with Naoya?” And the answer was a pretty immediate yes bc the amount of time I’ve spent in a dumpster ever since he appeared is hard to argue with.

And omg revealing the music you listen to is always so embarrassing. Gege is a v v v brave man lolll

[nad-zeta]

Match up! (◠‿◠✿)

hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞

bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!

i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!

sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.

a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.

hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs

oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((

some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.

some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.

tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞

Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x

 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide

The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 

Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.

It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 

You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.

All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 

Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.

Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 

This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 

He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.

The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 

You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”

The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 

Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 

This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky

Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.

Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.

Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 

Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.

Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day!