#i spent 10 minutes staring at this because i didnt know if i wanted to post Testament Onceler here
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
springtz · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i think we need testament mondays! testamonday
288 notes · View notes
blessedshortcake · 1 year ago
Text
My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol
First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.
I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.
That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.
The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)
As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.
But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.
I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now
(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)
Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.
I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.
Tldr
I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC
Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.
Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.
43 notes · View notes
sharkszone · 7 months ago
Text
She sees me - a short story
Theres a girl in my class, shes nice enough. Not really ever to me, we dont talk. But she likes the guy i sit next to so we coexist. I see her in the halls, in the parking lot, and sometimes i see her in town. I dont think she's ever seen me. Not even when we are right across from eachother. Shes the kind of girl you dont look for in the crowd, but you see her nonetheless. She's talkative and loves to speak. She answers every question in class, sometimes i wonder if its because she wants to share the answer or if she just likes the excuse to be heard. It impresses me in a way, she's so focused on the class, she neglects her friends. I cant imagine not seeing her.
Her group is tight and practically famous. They're loud and boisterous and hard to miss. I dont think she's like them. I dont think i want her to be. I like to imagine her as someone more like me. But her group is tight and practically famous. Everyone sees them. I see her.
I like to imagine what would have changed if i sat next to her on the first day i saw her. I like to imagine she'd see me too. I dont like how that makes me feel. I dont want to see her. It frustrates me that for all the time i spend seeing her, she doesnt bother to see me. She looks through me instead, her attention empty.
2 months ago, i saw her again. She works at a clothing store. My sister had wanted these tops, i bought them for her. She was working the till. I acted as suprised to encounter her as she did to me. I saw her as soon as i stepped in, she barely even saw me at the till.
The clothes were expensive and i told my sister as much. I made her pick her favourite two to keep. The girl smiled and told her not to pick. She used her family and friends discount to cover the rest. I forgot to say thank you. She smiled at me.
8 weeks ago, she dyed a streak of her hair. It was a rich red and it made her stand out. Thats what my deskmate said at least. I wanted to tell her she already stood out, that her hair was just catching up with her. I mustve stared, she smiled at me as she left.
7 weeks ago she was at my desk again. She spoke to my deskmate and didnt see me one bit. My deskmate is tall and quite smart. He likes my bands and he shows them off like me. His shirts are tight and cling to his skin, mine are loose and hide my resolve. He makes my interests look cool, he sees me. But not really, hes sees his idea of me. We aren't friends but not quite strangers. We've spent half a year together, if he hasnt seen me yet i doubt he ever will. 7 weeks ago he invited her to a party. She stroked his forearm and promised she'd show face. At the end of the lesson he said i could come. Could not should.
7 weeks ago, i decided not to go.
6 weeks ago, she saw me. I was the first in the classroom and she was second. She smiled at me. Then she sat down. We were both early, about 10 minutes too. For 5 she stared at her phone. I assumed she'd forgot i was there. 5 minutes in, she got up and said to me.
"Why weren't you at the party."
It wasnt really a question, she didnt need my answer.
"I wasn't invited."
She frowned. I didn't know she did that. It didn't suit her glossy lip, her face wasn't supposed to furrow.
"Yes you were, daniel told me you were."
I supposed he left out that it was a pity invite, not one that counted. He left out that it was a could not a should.
"It wasn't a real invite."
"It was."
"Nobody missed me, they didn't need to see me there."
They wouldn't have seen me even if i did go. They only saw their groups. Their circles. I didn't have a group, i wasn't allowed in circles.
"I missed you."
She doesn't see me.
"You dont know me."
"I still looked for you in the crowd, i was sad when i didn't see you."
Then her group dispersed into the class. She turned from me with a smile, and bounded to them. Daniel sat down next to me. He didn't ask me why i didn't come. He didnt need to. He knew what he meant when he said could. He knew i wasnt the kind of person that people said should to.
5 and a half weeks ago she told me to come to her birthday party. She was clear in her wording that i had to come. That it was a real invite and that she could see me. I liked that she could see me. I told her I'd come. She smiled at me and turned back to her friends. She never spoke to me around daniel. Our bond was sacred. She saw me and i saw her. Not the me i presented and not the her she presented. She saw someone who wanted an in, i saw someone who wanted an out.
5 weeks ago, i went to her party. It was busy and full of strangers. I was schocked she knew so many people. I was shocked i knew so little. I didn't see her at all that night. She was dancing with her friends, she was drinking vodka straight, she was making out with daniel. He wore a band tee-shirt, it was my favourite band. When he wore their shirts, he made girls ask him about them. He made girls care. He didn't need to fight to be seen. I think hes a bit of a dick.
By midnight, i was in with her group. Abigail and misha laughed at my jokes and lucas told me i was less stuck up than i seemed. I dont think they saw me but i dont think i cared.
4 weeks ago it was back to normal. Nobody from the party spoke to me outside of class. Nobody approached me all day. Daniel held her hand in the hall and flirted with her at our desk. She didn't really respond, she was just looking at him. She didn't smile at me when she left. She didn't even see me. I asked daniel if he was going out with her. He told me yes but that i couldn't tell abigail because they were still seeing eachother on the side. Then he asked me if i'd met abigail, he told me we had a similar sense of humour. I didnt tell her that he was seeing abigail. I wish i had.
3 weeks ago she didn't come over to our desk. She didn't look our way at all. She dyed her red streak blue and gossiped with her deskmate. She didnt answer a single question in class. I cursed daniel in my head, for taking away that girl i had seen six weeks ago. I cursed myself for not protecting the girl I'd wanted to see more of.
"I like your hair."
I stopped her in the hall after class.
"It's ok, i think the red was better. It made me stand out."
She brushed her streak self-consciously.
"Daniel was wrong. You already stood out without the red. It was nice, i liked it. The blue is better though, it matches your eyes."
"Why didnt you tell me?"
I looked at her blankly.
"That you liked it."
"Daniel already said it."
"Its different from you."
She frowned at me again and walked off.
She saw me.
2 weeks ago we didn't speak at all the entire week. Not that we avoided eachother but that we had no reason to speak. But we had become a unit. We went from she and me to we. We collaborated in existing. She saw me.
1 week ago she asked me why i never spoke. I told her i didn't have anything to say worth listening to. What could i say that wouldn't mean more being said by someone else. She asked me if someone else always said what i thought. She laughed when i said no.
"Because nobody thinks like you. You're special"
She asked me who i hung out with at school. I told her the truth. She didn't invite me to join her group. She saw me.
6 days ago she told me she listened to my favourite band. She said they were too cool for her. I asked her why she never listened to them for daniel. Apparently she never knew they were his favourite band too.
"I didn't care about what he said to me. I just liked the way he looked at me. He made me feel like i mattered."
I wished she'd known how much i saw her. How much she mattered. Instead i laughed and called him a dick. She laughed and told me i was perceptive. She saw me.
5 days ago we didn't see eachother at all. We had no classes together.
4 days ago she told me she saw my new shirt yesterday. I said i didnt realise anyone noticed. She confessed she noticed most details about me. I confessed i tried not to notice her. She confessed she wished i wouldn't. I confessed i couldnt help seeing her. She confessed it felt like i was the only one who really did. I asked if she saw me.
"I cant stop seeing you. In a crowd i see you, even when i don't see you. I can tell when you're there."
She smiled at me. She saw me.
3 days ago she asked me how my sister was. I didn't know she remembered her. I didn't know how long she'd been noticing me. I didnt know how much she saw me.
Today i watched her answer questions in class and i didnt feel bad about it. I watched her smile at me when she was right and frown when she was wrong. Her glossed lips pulled tight with disappointment but would be laughed into their natural curve easily. She caught my hand as i left and asked for my number. She sees me.
4 notes · View notes
margotquinsel · 2 years ago
Text
Modern Encanto AU
Chapter 8 Not what we were expecting
After Agustin Phoned his wife they met up and walked to the cabin. It was quite a long walk but Agustin didnt mind, Julieta and Isabela however.
"My feet hurt.." Complained Juileta.
"Mine also hurttt!"
"Stop copying mee."
"Im not copying youu, your copying mee."
"Oh look the cabin is over there." Agustin lied to try to stop whatever was going to happen between them.
"Are we there yet?" A tired Mirabel asked.
"Almost, Mariposa," A cheerful Juileta said, she was happy because the first thing she wanted to do when they got to the cabin was to throw herself on to her new bed, little did she know that their cabin was still 10 minutes away."
"Pa?"
"Si Mi flor."
"Can you still see the cabin."
Agustin froze.
"I- well uh-."
Luisa must of read his mind cause she said,
"Isa theres a bunch of cabins. how is Pa supposed to know which one is ours?"
"He said he could see it, so obviously he knows which one it is."
Agustin gulped. Yes he knew where they were going but he didn't know what the cabin looked like. How is he supposed to know when theres the same cabin everywhere?
It was like copy n paste copy n paste copy n paste.
Mirabel got tired of walking and wanted some drama, she thought for a while for the perfect idea.
Run off? No
Jump on Isabela? No
Jump on Mama? NO
"Hmm."
"Anything the matter mariposa?"
Mirabel lifted her head to see her mother staring at her with a look that shes always hated, the family called it:
"The Meddlesome stare."
Mirabel zoned out and when she zoned back in she could see the shear fear in her mothers eyes.
"Whats wrong?" That was a stupid question to ask she thought to herself. Julieta hates it when people zoned out and stare at her with big beady eyes, but then again shes scared of everything.
Mirabel looked around her to see if it could of been something else.
She then heard a loud thud followed by gasp, she turned round to see that her mother had tripped up on a small stone and Luisa was helping her back up.
But Julietas bags were not what Luisa was expecting, as soon as she held out her hand for her old mother and her mother grappled on, Luisa fell face first.
At this time Isabela wanted her fathers attention just to herself and thought now was a perfect time, so she clung on to her fathers arm.
"Hey Pa." She said with a beaming smile
"Hey Amor, whats got you so happy?"
"Being here with you, I think we need some father daughter time. Just us. No one else. "
"Ay, thats a good idea but you know how your mama gets when I'm not with her."
(If your wondering why its because shes worried that he might get in a really bad car crash or get hurt.)
Isabela groaned. She hasn't had a day with her Pa in ages.
The last time she hung out with him was way before Mirabels birth, and ever since she hasn't really spent time with him.
Mirabel was a special baby and needed attention 24/7 just in case something bad happened. And Isabela got jealous,. Really jealous.
After around 5 minutes the family was finally at the cabin.
The cabin was..... Not what they were expecting.
The cabin had two greenish blueish doors, A patio, and what really surprised them was the mailbox. The cabin did look sturdy, it was made out of logs which didn't surprise them, it was in the middle of the woods.
Underneath the patio was a door.
"Look!" Mirabel exclaimed.
The family stared at her then at the at the door she was pointing to.
"It looks like the door from coraline!"
Mirabel has always been obsessed with the movie. And when she saw it she got excited.
Before Agustin could unlock the door there was a loud squeaky noise, in which Agustinn thought was one of the workers in a mickey mouse but instead it was their new neighbour. (Not for long)
3 notes · View notes
sscoutregimentss · 3 years ago
Note
A, R, M, I, N for Armin?
ohoho clever. also this is all modern au 😭 i didnt even realize until i finished. feel free to re-request for a different au or canonverse! i think i default to modern au because i want everyone to be happy.
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Armin is really affectionate, but in a somewhat subtle way. He's not a fan of huge PDA or grandiose romantic gestures. Instead he'd rather have small ways to show his love for you in ways only the two of you would understand.
But it's also not so subtle that people think he's cold. Everyone knows you two are smitten with each other, but he just prefers to keep things private.
For example, when he's in an antique store he'll pick up some jewelry he thinks you'd like. Or when he's strolling through an art museum alone, he'll send you photos of paintings he thinks you'd like. He gives you personalized book recommendations, helps you study, holds your pinky as he walks through hallways. It's all really cute but not super aggressive like some of his friends.
He gives you a really gentle smile he reserves for you specifically. Armin is generally a bright guy, but he has a specific smile where it reaches the bottom half of his eyes and he looks like he has huge hearts in his eyes and everyone around you just knows.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
On your 5th date, you went to an arboretum. He'd been casually getting to know you after you asked him out. He honestly can't remember why he said yes when you asked him. He doesn't really make impulse decisions, but some weird mix of peer pressure, free food, and how cute you were made him think 'Eh, why not.' So you two have been taking it rather slow on account of Armin's nerves, and have been acting more like friends than people who are dating.
When your excitedly pointing at some pretty tree you know absolutely nothing about, Armin Arlert realizes he has it bad for you.
He treasures it because it's a sort of turning point in your relationship.
Armin is not huge for social media. He obviously has accounts because it is the 21st century but he has all the notifications off and rarely posts or checks his accounts. Because he is a pretentious hipster, he carries around a disposable camera and keeps a photo album of you two to keep the memories. He has a polaroid camera too, and he keeps a photo of that day in his phone case.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Armin, unlike your average college student, is not a procrastinator. Instead of staying up late to scramble and finish assignments, he actually gets enough sleep and wakes up fairly early.
So usually he's out of bed way before you. He'll take 10 or 15 minutes just to hold you and appreciate the silence, but then he's out of bed and making breakfast. He'd rather be with you when you're awake. You usually just waddle behind him when you wake up and give him back hugs.
In the rare case he does sleep in, you are not getting out of that bed unless you wake him up. He has a freakishly strong grip for someone so soft spoken.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Oh it takes him a while. Way after he starts calling you his partner, and he doesn't start calling you his partner until after 8 or 10 dates.
He likes taking things slow. He's young, he's got time ahead of him, and he just really wants to know.
And also, he's a bit of a closed off person. Despite how warm he seems to be, he has a lot of walls that take a long time to climb over.
He says it one day when his head is rested on you lap, the two of you watching a movie on a Friday night when Eren and Mikasa are at some party. He stops paying attention halfway through and starts staring at you, and it just... slips out.
You knew, though. It just took him a while to admit it.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Armin, in true nerd fashion, does not spend the night outside of his home if he has class the next day. So you only see him at nights on weekends.
At the early stages of your relationship, he comes over to your place, unless Eren and Mikasa are out and then you come to his. Half of it is him being closed off and being scared to introduce you to the only family he has left, and the other half is the fact that Eren will shamelessly show you middle school photos and compare Armin to Coconut Head from Ned's Declassified. But after a while, you start alternating.
If you're staying in, you two silently do assignments for an hour or two, then do something fun, like read a book or watch a movie. You really like when he just reads to you. It's calming. He should read audio books.
If you two are out, you two are more likely to just chat and then crash the minute you get home. He's not really a night owl.
157 notes · View notes
softboyluvr · 3 years ago
Text
just friends
cedric diggory x female!reader
warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh
Tumblr media
very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.
from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.
she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.
he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.
he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.
he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.
he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.
“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?
class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”
he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.
“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.
she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“
but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”
“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”
he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.
“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”
she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”
“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.
“didn’t feel like talking about it then”
“we can talk about it now”
“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”
“what are you trying to avoid?”
she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.
“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.
“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”
“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”
“cedric just drop it”
“so it was him then”
she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.
“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”
the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.
“it just does and i want to know”
“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“
“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”
she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.
“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”
“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”
she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.
“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.
he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.
her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.
he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”
her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.
their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.
the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.
he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.
142 notes · View notes
dracosathenaeum · 3 years ago
Text
OBLIVIATE | D.M.  ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE
Hello~
I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.
I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series. 
If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.
warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting
//
Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs
You had to sneak around
But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful
You couldn’t brag about him to your friends
But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places
No one ever found out
It was just you and draco
The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family
But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting
your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage
It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him
But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly
That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you
He came back in 6th year and he had changed
His kisses lost their spark
His eyes lost their light
He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance
Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person
You followed him
You supposed you shouldn’t have
But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you
You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand
So you had no other choice
You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you
Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due
You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time
You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him
But its not happiness on his face nor relief
It looks like dread
He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way
You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper
You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count
And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin
His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear
It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you
He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why
“How did you hide it from me for so long.”
“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”
More dialogue where he explains
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
Draco please
“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”
“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”
“Draco please, we can find a way around this”
You kiss him
And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year
When times were simpler
When he loved you and you loved him and that was it
No other interruptions
“Oblivate”
PART 1
“Y/n?”
“I’m sorry, do I know you?”
“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”
“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”
“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave
He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter
Poor guy must be going through something
“Y/n”
you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life
You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before
im forgetting so much these days
But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort
You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.
//
He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you
he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling
He needs that ring
“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”
He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier
“I’m sure it just looks similar.”
“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”
“Wait did she steal it?”
misplaced it
She picked it up
He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up
“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time
He had to act the part
Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go
He notices and his heart clenches at the sight
Remembering the night he gave it to you
*flash back*
“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”
“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”
“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”
Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side
You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off
he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck
“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”
Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty
“Thank you.”
You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat
This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place
You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place
//
your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love
You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it
The chain is yours.
d.m.
You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant
You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself
Your friends are surprised when you study with them
When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time
And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go
But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember
The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort
You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.
Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.
Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.
PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO
6th and 7th years are a blur
A blur of horror
You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly
You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are
Draco stands with Hogwarts
And then his mother calls
You’ve seen him
Of course you have
You know what he is, know what his parents are
But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch
The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends
He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that
You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk
You watch as no one stops him
You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose
You dont know why you do it
You run
Your friends call your names, teachers joining in
They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year
But no, you were just missing something
you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop
“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”
“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”
he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away
But you dont feel scared
And you feel stupid for not feeling scared
“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”
You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him
“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library
“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”
He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you
“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”
You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to
Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough
You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you
You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent
//
Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second
He watched as the light from his wand hits you
Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield
There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him
“Mother?”
“She’s important to you?”
“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”
His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle
voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”
Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive
He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you
“We’re switching sides now?”
“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”
Fight scene
You remember everything
Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”
He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for
You see the spell before he does
Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time
You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again
“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”
“I think only my mother can answer that.”
[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]
56 notes · View notes
beomglocks · 4 years ago
Text
in the morning ; k.th
Tumblr media
summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.
pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader
warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this
w/c : 1.7k
Tumblr media
your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.
a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.
you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.
"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.
"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.
"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.
"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.
"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.
"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.
you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.
"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."
he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.
he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.
"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.
"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.
"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.
"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"
he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.
"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."
"taehyun i-"
"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."
he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.
you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.
this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.
he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.
"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.
"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.
"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.
"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."
a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.
"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"
"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.
you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.
the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."
you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."
he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.
"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.
the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.
329 notes · View notes
alienaiver · 3 years ago
Text
Half the Battle, pt. 2
Kuroo Tetsurou x gn!reader
find part one here!
warnings: a bit more angst than previous part regarding parents/choices made about the child without the child(”did this for the child, but didnt ask the child what would be best for them”, excusing it/no forced forgiveness though), kenhina and tsukiyachi mentioned, parkinsons disease is mentioned, kuroo cries quite a bit, NOT beta-read! always do lmk if i missed a warning!
wordcount: 5.4k
content: soulmate AU, mild angst, happy ending, soft hurt/comfort, post timeskip but slight canon divergence (haven’t finished the manga yet so loosely based off of canon timeskip), gender neutral reader, mario party references
notes: phew, here is the second part of my work @gg9183 ‘s soulmate collab! i apologize for my late second part, i hope itll be worth the wait! i realized after writing this that kuroo actually has an older sibling but uh. here hes an only child lolol, sorry abt that!
------------
As he was walking down the once so familiar street towards his childhood home he felt an uncomfortable bile settle in his stomach. The pavement, the road and the bicycle stands were all the same, the buildings lining the street were the same and the trees were the same – albeit a bit taller – so why? Why did he feel like he was walking in a new part of town – one that he’d never been to before, but still somehow had a sense of direction in? As he looked to the right he saw that the apartment complex above the convenience store was orange – at least, it was the same color as Hinata’s hair, which had been one of his ‘physical flashcards’ last night before going to bed in a haze. The sun had barely just risen, painting the whole area in warm colors. The autumn wind bit at him but with his jacket – his green jacket, honestly who would buy such a hideous jacket? Surely no one who could see colors, he thought – pulled tight around his shoulders, he could keep the cold out. He’d fallen asleep easily enough but hadn’t been able to fall back asleep as he awoke from a dream around 5AM. Had it been a nightmare? He couldn’t really tell, the second he woke up the dream had already become a blur, the only thing he knew for certain was that the dream was about you. What you didn’t do to him, honestly, he should ask for compensation with all these messy thoughts and feelings you had already left in his head, not even 24 hours after learning you're his soulmate
Kuroo sucked in a breath after realizing he’d been holding it. He was sitting on the couch between Kenma and Hinata with a glass of water in his hands – he had honestly never cared much for what this moment would be like so now that he was going through it, what the fuck was he supposed to do? He was shaking, he realized uselessly as he lifted the glass to his lips. This felt… unfamiliar and out of his element and he once again felt reminded that something was out of his control and that something was you. Maybe Kuroo’s life would be seen as predictable to outsiders but he had his routines, his plans, he was calm and collected through most work-related crises and he always had a back-up plan for his back-up plan! He was meticulous, careful and always in some form of control of any given situation, that was how his life had thrived for so many years and why – in his opinion – his life was as successful as it was.
In hindsight, it would’ve made sense if he had planned for a situation like this, had made a mental plan for the meeting of a potential soulmate, maybe written up some documents on what pros and cons and grievances he would have with the whole ordeal but whenever he actually thought of doing that, he stopped himself and shook his head over his own desensitized and square mentality – he sometimes had to remind himself that love wasn’t something he could negotiate his way in – or out – of. But if he was being honest, he had cared a lot about not caring about his soulmate so of course he wouldn’t put time and energy into such an endeavor! He was pulled out of his thoughts as Hinata brought yet another item in front of his face, “and this is yellow, Kuroo! Can you remember them?”
“I have a soulmate,” he just replied flatly for the second time during the last 20 minutes, staring blankly into the distance. Kenma let a hand rest on Kuroo’s back as a way to remind him that he was there to support him whenever he would wish for it. “Yea Kuroo, congratulations again! But do you remember which one of these were red?” Hinata now held up two switch controllers in different colors and Kuroo furrowed his brows before pointing to the one on the right.
“Kuroo, that’s blue…”
------------
Ringing the doorbell to the apartment he’d spent at least 10 years in felt awkward and he winced at the act of doing so but he wasn’t actually sure his mom would be awake – or even home, for that matter.
The clock hadn’t even passed 6.30AM on a Goddamn Sunday, the most holy of his – few – days off. His hands had become clammy despite the cool air and he insistently wiped them on his jacket – again, who had allowed him to buy such a bright and green jacket? - before ringing the doorbell again, and again, and again… he clicked his tongue in frustration and looked around, feeling panic rise, he really hadn’t planned for her to not be home. As he was about to turn around and figure out a new move he heard a noise from inside the apartment and seconds after, the lock clicked open,
“All right, who the hell shows u-”, his mother’s scolding stopped dead in the tracks as she got eye contact with her son. Her son whose eyes were wet, wet with fat tears threatening to spill and a bottom lip thoroughly bitten from worrying teeth, his whole expression reminding her of when he came home with scraped knees that wouldn’t stop bleeding when he was but a little child. Her expression immediately softened before opening the door completely for her son, beckoning him to come inside, “my dear, come inside, it’s cold out here. I’ll make us some tea.”
As Kuroo entered his old home his first move was to look around for Cucumber as he slipped off his jacket and shoes but he was nowhere to find in the narrow hallway. Though, as soon as Kuroo passed his mother’s room where the door was left open, he immediately spotted the round ball of fluff, triumphing on the top of a pillow up close by the headboard, barely sparing Kuroo a glance before he settled back into a comfortable sleeping position. Kuroo chuckled slightly, Cucumber never was a morning kind of cat, always cranky when Kuroo got up in the wee hours of morning to sneak in a work-out before he had to be at the office. Cucumber had this belief that if he didn’t see the act of his bowl getting filled up with food, he had most definitely not gotten fed, so Kuroo always had to force him up those days to fill the bowl in front of the sleepy cat so he didn’t go about howling the entire day until he got off from work on late afternoons, completely ignoring the fact that the bowl was, in fact, full. An idiot cat to be sure, but those kind of quirks made him even more lovable to Kuroo.
He then followed his mom into the kitchen area where she had already started to boil water, finding cups and tea in the cupboards while the water was on.
Kuroo went over to the counter to help his mother, who was also – as she always did when guests arrived – preparing some snacks of a kind, this time it was grapes and apple slices she was cutting.
“Ma, you don’t have to do that, I’m not a guest,” he tried though he knew it was pointless, “nonsense! You probably haven’t eaten, fruit is good for you in the morning!”
Kuroo chuckled dryly, choosing to go for making the tea now that the kettle had finished boiling in the corner.
Kuroo sat down first, eagerly avoiding eye contact with his mother who came over to his seat and cupped his cheeks, a soft and empathetic smile on her lips, “you look tired,” she stated before sitting down in the chair in front of him.
A deep sigh left Kuroo and he fiddled with the handle of his teacup for a few seconds before bracing himself and looking up towards his mother.
“You can see colors.”
The statement was short, his mother’s eyes wide, wider than Kuroo thinks he’s ever seen them and Kuroo immediately mirrored her surprised expression because how the hell did she know that?
“A mother knows,” she chuckled as if reading her son’s mind, “you can, can’t you?” she then asked, looking at him with a calmer expression. Kuroo bit his lip again and took in a deep breath.
“Mom I’m terrified,” he admitted, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact with her, not sure what would happen if he did so.
“Of what, my dear?” she asked, but she had to admit she already knew the answer, she wasn’t completely oblivious to her son’s rather extreme disdain to the whole soulmate part of the universe and she felt a pang of guilt from the pits of her stomach – she wasn’t in the dark about how this was her fault as well.
“Soulmates… I don’t want to be forced with a person. I don’t.. I don’t know them! What if they’re like dad? What if-”
“Your dad wasn’t and isn’t a bad human being, there’s no reason to fear a person like him,” his mother sighed, taking a sip of her scalding hot tea – as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb in Kuroo’s mind.
His eyes widened impossibly more than they’ve had been during the past 24 hours, because how could his dad not be a bad human being? He left them, he hurt his mother so much that Kuroo wasn’t even ever told why he left, he never contacted Kuroo, never reached out or tried to get to know his own son, he let his mother work two shitty jobs to support the two of them for at least the five first years they spent together in Tokyo and even though Kuroo knew there were letters between the two of them, he still couldn’t wrap his head around the claim that he wasn’t a scumbag – that’s what Kuroo had believed, told himself all those years.
He was torn out of his spiraling thoughts by a weight landing on his lap, looking down to find Cucumber, purring and kneading into him, giving every part of him he could reach headbutts – so now the cat realized who it was who’d come in through the door, huh? Kuroo momentarily felt calm, his hands reaching down to pet his cat, as if the cat knew he needed some emotional support.
“Ma I don’t exactly understand, what the fuck do you mean?”
Another sigh escaped his mother and Kuroo grew frustrated, why was she so calm?
“You must know, Tetsurou my dear, there was never a lack of love between your dad and I, and never any lack of love towards you, but your dad, he’s…” she looked around the kitchen, her mouth moving soundlessly as if tasting her own words before letting them leave her mouth, “your dad was ill. Is ill, and when he decided he needed to leave us, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop him, as his soulmate I understood his reasons, I couldn’t – even if I had wanted to – stand in his way, you see,”
Kuroo’s emotions flared up again, his blood boiling. After over 20 years of suffering, of hurt, of loneliness, of fear, that was the weakest explanation he’d ever heard of and the fact that his mother had agreed to do this to him only fueled him further on, “I never knew anything, you never told me anything! I’ve been terrified of meeting my soulmate! Terrified, ma!” a gross sob escaped from Kuroo’s mouth, a hand immediately flying up to cover it, to cover the many more he was afraid would spill if he didn’t physically hold himself back. His mother started crying as well, albeit her tears fell calmer than her son’s, “I know it wasn’t right but… he didn’t want you to know, Tetsurou I don’t expect you to ever forgive us but, he’s my soulmate, I’d do anything for him, I’m bound to him that way,” she tried, to which Kuroo retorted, “but I am your son,” feeling betrayed. Was he going to do something like this to his future children if he ever had any? Completely throwing them under the bus if his soulmate asked him to? He couldn’t ever imagine putting an adult before a child, he just.. couldn’t.
“My love, we may not have ended up doing right by you, but he did it in good faith, in faith that it would be better for you this way – it might not have been the best decision but he did with what he had at the time, your father… your father has early onset Parkinson’s and it hit him like a freight train when he was 31, he couldn’t… he couldn’t bear to let you see him like that, he had to be put in a nursing home a year after he got the diagnosis, you must understand… he didn’t want to become a burden to us, didn’t want us to suffer.”
“I fought a lot with him about it, about his decision because he would never be a burden, not to me. But he had set his sights on this, and after many months of fighting – as I’m terribly sure you remember -  of fighting with tooth and nail for all of us to stay together, I had to accept that this was ultimately his decision alone.”
The explanation somewhat helped Kuroo understand more, he wasn’t sure if it would ever change or dissipate his anger, but the rational part of his brain took over and made him calm down – even if it was just a little. Even if he still felt hurt and betrayed and left behind by his own dad, even if he still cursed his dad for choosing to not be a part of his life, he could rationalize over why the decision was made. He also realized fighting with his mother about it right now wouldn’t help a thing, wouldn’t change a thing, so he willed his nerves to calm down with a sip of his tea. “I’m not sure how I feel… about all of this, my head is a mess, I’m...” he took in a big gulp of breath and for the first time since he came into his childhood home this morning looked properly at his mother, “whatever all of this did to me, it actually did help  with my fear of my soulmate… I think, I’m still not sure,”
“What are they like?” his mother smiled cautiously at him, knowing she wasn’t exactly forgiven just because he wouldn’t deal with it all right now, but still curious and wanting to support her son.
Kuroo couldn’t help the small smile that fell on his lips as he saw you in his mind’s eye. “Amazing, ma, simply amazing. They’re… they feel warm and bubbly, somehow? And their smile is the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and they… they’re really good at making me laugh. I feel at ease with them, I think,” Kuroo rambled on, already feeling in a weird giddy mood thinking about all the good things about you. “But it’s… it’s funny, I thought they were bad… evil, or something, the first few days before we found out we were soulmates”
His mother chuckled and looked at him with a puzzled look, “first few days? How long did it take you?”
Kuroo sheepishly looked down at Cucumber who had fallen back asleep on his lap, curled down to a round ball of fluff, “well we met Wednesday… and I just found out last night.”
His mother’s hands hit the table so hard in shock that she woke up Cucumber but all he really did was lift his head and look at her quizzically. “You met them and then not until four days after, you find out your soulmates?” she laughed, a warm laugh from deep in her belly that rang through the small kitchen and Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle as well before scratching the back of his head, “yeaaah, apparently we both had been avoiding eye contact like crazy. I felt weird every time we had met, like I was desperate to see them again but I mistook it for something negative and convinced myself they were bad for Kenma, they work as his video editor.”
------------
“Kenma, can you give me their phone number?” Kuroo stood awkwardly against the door frame, feeling giddy and terrified at the same time. It was now past lunch time and he had just arrived back at Kenma’s. The talks he had with his mother cleared up a lot of things and she had been happy to answer all of his questions, and even though there were still a lot of healing to do, he felt more confident to approach you and.. get to know you. Kenma didn’t look up from his phone, “oh? You don’t know their number?”
“What do you mean? Of course I don’t, I met them the other day.”
“Hmm. There must be a mistake then, you know when you meet your soulmate, their phone number will also be engraved into your memory forever, right?”
Kuroo stared blankly down at Kenma who was still sitting unaffected in his chair, neutral facial expression, scrolling through the phone in his right hand.
“What?”
“Yeah, it’s how it is. Trust me, I’ve had my soulmate for years,”
“Tell me Kenma, what is Chibi-chan’s number, then?”
“Aw but Kuroo, I’m not on trial here, am I? After all, I’m simply helping you, you are pretty new to the soulmate thing, seeing as you refused to learn about it all these years,”
Kuroo was honest to God close to panicking, he didn’t know your phone number! Had there been a mistake? Did that change your status as soulmates? Did this change everything? Did he go through all of this just to live with a real-life glitch? A hand ran through his hair in panic before he heard the quiet chuckle from Kenma who had a smile on his lips that Kuroo didn’t see very often but looked just as mischievous as Kuroo’s could - they were best friends, after all.
“Alright Kenma you bag of poop, send me their number,”
“I already sent their contact info to you, like, four minutes ago, keep up old man.”
Kuroo chuckled darkly, “you’ll pay for this,” before whipping out his phone and going back to the living room, ignoring whatever reply Kenma had jabbed at him.
Opening up the message from Kenma he saw that he had shared your contact and somehow he felt dizzy when he clicked on your name and saw all kinds of information in there like your birthday and your address besides your e-mail and number. He was about to ask Kenma why he had all that but remembered that while you were friends, Kenma was technically also your employer, and probably needed it for those kind of reasons. Kuroo swiped around and deleted all the information about you except for your name and number, deciding he wanted to learn all this information naturally, while getting to know you.
As he sat down on the living room couch he went in and out of the call list, even trying to opt for a text to you but after writing half a sentence, always deleting it again.
After scrolling his phone for what felt like hours (and a Kenma who yelled “just call them!” from his office) his finger hovered over the ‘call’ button, almost pressing it at least a dozen times before removing his finger again, a sigh left his lips, was it really so hard to call you? You were his soulmate goddamn it, it should be easy, right?
------------
You were lazing on your couch, answering the flashcards your phone provided about colors from the app Color Found. It was a free, first on the list version of the thousands of apps made for people who had just found their soulmates and now needed to learn and navigate in all the world’s colors. When your phone started ringing in your hand with an unknown caller ID you yelped and almost threw it across the room. Could it be…? But how did he get your number? Did Kenma give it to him? Did Kuroo tell him you were soulmates? You groaned, remembering once again, that you had just left him at the door last night, hurrying home in the biggest panic you’d ever felt, your cheeks burning the entire time. It wouldn’t be weird for him to try and contact you after that, right? You inhaled deeply before nervously clicking the green button and taking it up to your ear, “h-hello?”
“Hello! This is Alexander from LiteWare speaking, I’m just calling you with an offer on...” you sighed deeply, letting him finish his sentence before politely telling him you weren’t interested and hanging up. All that panic for nothing, for a phone seller. It reminded you that you had to get your number private some way, they were getting really inclined to call you all the time, even on a Sunday afternoon.
------------
You were pacing back and forth in your living room, trying to gain control of your breathing and of your heartbeat. The ride home from Kenma had felt several hours longer than usual and if you really stopped to feel, you’d notice how exhausted you truly were, but that feeling was pushed away and your energy was redirected to your current thoughts of “what the fuck, what the fuck”. Kuroo was objectively very handsome, charming and he was really good at making you smile and relax – you had immensely enjoyed his company over the last few days but you thought it had just been that, a puppy crush on a handsome man giving you his undivided attention – screw the fact that you’d dreamed about him last night and felt an indescribable pull towards him whenever your thoughts wandered to him at home – he was your soulmate!? All signs pointed towards it, the undeniable fact that you could see colors made your eyes screw shut – a headache was sneaking its way into you, arriving from your eyes being overworked with all the impressions you didn’t have the mental capacity to filter properly right now.
As you threw yourself down on your couch with a groan and your hands covering your face, you took in a long breath and stilled your body completely until you exhaled again, already feeling a bit calmer. So… Kuroo was your soulmate, alright, that was a manageable fact, you could work with this, right? This wasn’t the end of the world, right? He was a good person, he was funny, charming and his cooking was good, right? What else did you really know about him? He’d told you about his job, about his life, his childhood – mostly the parts related to Kenma since he was your common link – and of his cat who sounded like the most adorable idiot you’d ever heard of. The headache was starting to become too much so you went to your kitchen to get a glass of water and an aspirin. It was going to be fine, right now all you needed was to take a shower and go to bed, you had a brunch tomorrow with a friend, it wouldn’t help staying up all night fretting about him when you probably were bound to be together a lot more in the future anyways. This, you could fix tomorrow after your meet up with your friend who you hadn’t seen in a long while! That was definitely the most logical thing to do, right?
------------
Your brunch had gone well, your friend laughing their ass off about how you had both just left your soulmate at the door and hurried home and spent four days figuring it out, teasing you about how badly you had managed to woo him then. A good chunk of the time had been spent talking about him, about colors, about possible future life together, “would you like kids with him? Are you going to move in with him?” to which you mostly had shrugged and said you would like to get to know him more before making any drastic decisions like that, though your friend hadn’t been too understanding because when they’d met their soulmate several years earlier, they’d moved in practically a week later, since they were “bound to anyway” and while you did see their point of view you also felt like just because you were soulmates didn’t mean you’d get along perfectly always and all the different sides of you would most definitely piss him off or catch him off guard if he had to learn them about you after you moved in, imagine if he hated electric toothbrushes? And you just waltzed in there in a week with one, or if he enjoyed quiet mornings and you just woke him up with talking or made his coffee wrong! There were so many parts of relationships that you felt came naturally through getting to know each other along the way and speed running through it all just because you were meant to be felt both bad and like it took some of the magic of a relationship away, but maybe he didn’t feel the same way? After all, you hadn’t really given him a chance yesterday to establish any sort of thoughts or expectations and you had started to feel bad for him that you’d just run away all by yourself. He must be panicking too, right? You know you definitely would if you got left like that. Feeling the a new kind of panic settling in your stomach you got up and threw on a jacket and shoes before almost running to the subway. Bile rose in your throat from thinking about if he was hurting or suffering, if he was somehow in pain because of this and of what you did, you didn’t really know him, maybe this had been his one insecurity about a soulmate. You laughed a bit at your own fear and panic that you were feeling for him, but nonetheless still hurried off to Kenma’s place.
Your phone rang in your pocket as you walked down the stairs from the subway, you picked it up without looking, “hello?” you cursed yourself for sounding out of breath.
“Hello? This is.. uh… this is... uh Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou.”
You stopped in your tracks, your brain short circuiting, looking around you as if he was supposed to be physically close to you right now, “oh! Hi. Uh, hello..” you tried again, a hand running down your face at the most lame response you could ever come up with.
“Hey, yea, uh, Kenma gave me your number. I hope that was alright… I didn’t want to do something to overstep your boundaries, I uh-” you laughed a bit at his awkwardness, he had been such a smooth talker the past few days but right now it seemed like words failed him as much as they did you.
“I’m almost at your house,” you interrupted and a silence followed, “at my house? Do you know where I live?” he asked dumbly and you let out a curse before correcting yourself,
“Kenma’s! I mean Kenma’s, I don’t know your address of course! I haven’t googled you or anything!”
A laugh rang through your phone, the cute laugh you’d heard yesterday and you felt yourself relax, “I’m happy to know I didn’t permanently scare you off, should I meet you on the way? Not sure how much Kenma feels like listening to… us. Uh, not that anything’s going to happen, of course! Just thinking we have a lot to talk about. We could take a walk in the park nearby?”
You nodded and stood silently until he coughed a bit and cautiously said, “I really hope you’re nodding right now and haven’t left me on… will that be called left on heard? Is that grammatically correct?” an airy laugh left you as you started walking again, “Sorry, I was nodding, yeah, let’s meet at the south entrance of the park.”
When you got close enough that you could see the entrance to the park you also spotted Kuroo immediately who stood bundled up in what looked like a comfortable warm autumn-appropriate jacket and a scarf wrapped around his neck. His hands were hiding in his pockets and you assumed they might’ve been cold, since it had been quite a chilly day even though it was only early autumn. In your mind you practiced saying hello casually to him, wondering how casual you were supposed to be, right before you reached him you also decided it would be wise to start off with an apology for leaving him like that last night.
“Kuroo! Sorry about hello!”
A hand shot up to cover your mouth in complete embarrassment and shock. This was the worst entrance you could make! Another loud laughter came from him as he clutched his stomach and bent over slightly and you smiled a bit, his laugh really did something to your nerves and you laughed a bit with him, “I forgive you about your hello then,” he grinned before leaning towards you to give you a hug, maybe? You panicked and as you were seconds from puckering your lips you decided to reach out with a hand to give him a handshake and he smiled, “you must be very good at business meetings, this handshake is firm,” he laughed but couldn’t deny the extreme shade of red that ran all the way up his ears from touching you again. You hastily brought back your hand and beckoned for him to walk next to you through the park.
As the two of you walked Kuroo kept glancing between you and the near-empty park. There were a few parents and their children over by the playground and you had passed a few people as you followed the trail around.
“I’m just going to start, I think. I don’t think we should move in together in the near future, I think I’d like to get to know you first,” you said confidently before looking nervously up at him, “whoa, I also like to think I should take you to a dinner first,” he grinned to hide his nervousness.
“Listen Kuroo, I uh. I obviously like you, even before I knew you were my soulmate I felt really attracted to you, I think we’re going to bring a lot of good out of each other, and I… I’d like to believe we could be happy together, but… while half the battle is finding your soulmate in this big, bright world, I also think you’re supposed to fight for next part. Like, I don’t believe we’ll be happy just because we found each other. Relationships takes work, I think, and they’re not always… Easy. I know I’m not always easy to be around, I can be frustrating and maybe also endlessly annoying – and I’m sure you’re going to have some quirks and traits that I will find frustrating and annoying and… I’m rambling, aren’t I? Oh god, why are you crying?”
Sparkles. Fireworks. That’s what Kuroo felt going on behind his eyelids as he had stared at you and listened intently to what you had to say. He had spent so long being against soulmates, thinking they would just be some person shoved at him by the universe, someone he would be forced to be with, someone he might even end up loathing one day but you… you spoke directly to his heart and it was in this moment he realized that soulmates weren’t just a random person he was forced to be with, it was… a person meant for you, a person that would fit like the other half of a set, a person who you would click with, a person you were meant to fall in love with and love for the rest of your life. Your words had been so simple and polite and so clear you were talking to a person you hadn’t even known for a week but they had shot right through him and he hadn’t even noticed that tears had fallen from his eyes before you had stopped and looked up at him with such worry that he felt a pang of guilt for crying in front of you out of the blue.
“Nothing, I’m just… really glad I’m going to be sharing my life with you, I think. I couldn’t agree more with all you just said.”
You smiled shyly at him before locking your hands together. “Well then, Kuroo Tetsurou, shall we continue to try and steal stars from each other from now on then?”
He laughed and wiped a tear before leaning down and giving you a gentle peck on the lips, “oh most definitely! And remember, all’s fair in love and war, right?”
38 notes · View notes
nikrangdan · 4 years ago
Text
photographer!ni-ki
Tumblr media
pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader
genre: fluff, comedy
description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you
for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!
———
“y/n!”
you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am
it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..
you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes
“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands
right
u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki
shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!
WELP
u dont even have a choice anymore
u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms
shes so soft and fluffy
though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house
you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction
so
the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house
and it was actually a really pretty park...
there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches
and a nice open field of greenery
it basically looked like a park out of a movie
so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there
but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people
you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash
let the walking begin!!!!
it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold
you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her
whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was
it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake
you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery
until u caught sight of a boy
u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder
he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot
he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it
it was a beautiful sight honestly
there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes
u understood why he’d take pictures of it
you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki
basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again
OH BOY U WERE WRONG
the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park
you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner
the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below
this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos
and you noticed the same boy again
this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands
his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken
‘oh its him again’ u thought
and that was it
LOL
u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki
so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again
you wanted to take suki on a quick walk
but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought
suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone
it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park
the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already
it was super pretty and the weather was nice
after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around
and u saw Him again
wow
why do u keep seeing him !?!?!
his back was faced towards u like always
and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny
but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore
you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing
and he
turned
around
for the first time EVER!!!!
its like he sensed someone staring at him
but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand
the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera
it was a larger black one
definitely more expensive
Awe good for him!!!!!
and then u glanced up to see his face
and u made EYE CONTACT
u looked away so fast
because
He was SO CUTE.............
u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him
‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’
hopefully he didnt notice
*nervously sweats*
u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki
eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home
U were still kind of thinking about that boy....
so u were like
i need to go back
and u did Lol
u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki
it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful
perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos
*evil laugh*
u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((
the one time u go there for HIM
u settled down under a tree
suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too
you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing
playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky
it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink
U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki
you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u
and
let me tell u what Happened..
u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like
‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head
and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right
idk bc u felt like it
AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????
THE BOY
LIKE 20 FEET AWAY
STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD
AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE
and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!
as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down
he like
Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that
he was embarrassed
ur cheeks were turning so red
BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE
was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um
he cleared that up BECAUSE
He started walking over to u
he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse
and a gray sweater with a black coat over it
HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK
ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{
n he just Plop
he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree
suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???
u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly
he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck
“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it
u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️
“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”
u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer
“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him
u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke
“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket
WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...
“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u
“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him
he grinned and pet her before looking up at you
“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute
“y/n” you smiled
“suki seems to like you” u laughed
“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”
“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki
u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too
“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him
his eyes light up when u say that
“yeah!”
AWE HES SO EXCITED
he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons
“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh
“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”
he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device
“woah” you let out a gasp
he showed u the picture he took of you first
How does a picture look better than real life...
you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it
“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says
“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped
“thanks”
“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture
“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin
SMOOTH.....
he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed
you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go
“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up
suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up
“i had fun too” you smile
“would you like me to walk you to your car?”
A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!
“oh yeah, thanks”
you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you
you reached your car and thanked him
“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”
“thank you..”
ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face
he is just the cutest thing ever
you definitely need to see him again
198 notes · View notes
fallingfor-fics · 4 years ago
Text
Teachers Pet-chapter 13: the test
Tumblr media
All chapters
chapter 12
I was just leaving the Great Hall and was walking to DADA with Harry and Ron, discussing what we were thinking we would do in class today, since neither of us wanted to attend. We walked into the classroom and I noticed Lockhart wasn't there yet, thank Merlin, maybe he would be absent today. We sat down and got our supplies out patiently waiting. I heard Ron whispering to Harry and nudging his arm.
 Lockhart entered and gave a brief overview of what we would be doing in class today. I heard more whispers from the pair and turned to look at them, "What are you two whispering about?" I said in a hushed tone. "Nothing" they both said and I just rolled my eyes. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Harry smiling at me. "Um Y/n I wanted to ask you something." he said clearly scared and looking back at Ron. "Well what is it?" I said wishing he would just ask already. "Potter! L/n! Shhh Im speaking!" Lockhart interrupted. He continued blabbing about the lesson and I turned back to Harry. "What was it?" I whispered. "Oh, um well I was wondering If you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me?" he spat out quietly. I was taken aback clearly, shocked since I had no Idea Harry liked me. I felt kinda bad because I didn't feel the same and I didnt want to hurt his feelings. He could tell it was taking me a minute to think it over. Harry was just so sweet, too sweet, I didn't really like cheesy sweet boys, they are a little soft for my personality, which is why it was gonna be so hard to say no. "Look Harry, you're one of the nicest guys I have had in my life, but I just dont think its a good idea, im sorry, I'm positive you can find someone better to take, like Ginny maybe?" I said with a compassionate smile.
   I could see his face soften and he frowned a bit, "Oh that's alright I totally understand, I just figured y'know neither of us had dates yet, but no worries." he said as he turned and focused back on Lockhart. I felt so guilty for doing that, he was such a good friend, but I just couldn't see us having a good time at the ball. I did the same and focused on Lockhart and we spent the rest of class in silence.
   Once class ended I muttered small goodbyes to Harry and Ron and quickly sped out of the room not wanting to deal with the aftermath of that whole situation. "Hey Y/n" Draco said walking up to me like he did everyday, "Hey Draco, ready for the potions test?" I said as we walked to the dungeons. "Mm yeah I guess I mean I've been ready haha." he said with a cocky smile. I rolled my eyes, "How was DADA? Hope you didn't hex Lockhart again." He said laughing. "It was fine, and fuck off," I said playfully pushing him"Something strange did happen though," I said looking down at my books, "Harry asked me to the Yule Ball.." I said looking at him. "What?! Potter? What a joke!" he said scoffing "I hope you didn't say yes!" he added. "No I didn't, he's too sweet and I just don't feel that way about him, but I feel really bad about it. He looked upset." I said looking back down. "Oh I'm sure he'll be just fine, plus you need a man to take you to the ball, certainly not Potter." he snarled, I elbowed him and gave him a look, "Hey be nice! He's still one of my friends you know." "Yeah yeah." he said mockingly,  as we entered the potions classroom and took our seats in the front. Snape wasnt here yet so we all waited patiently. I got my supplies out and opened my book looking over the material one last time. The door flew open and Snape came walking in, his robes billowing behind him like usual. I felt a small smile creep to my face at the act, he always looked so stunning when he did that, so...powerful. I realized what I was doing and quickly looked back at my book and dropped the smile.
   "Ok class, put your textbooks away and clear off your tables, I will now be handing out your tests, you'll have all of class to complete them, no more and no less. You will get your grades back tomorrow, come drop them on my desk when you are finished and return to your seat quietly." He spewed, the same speech he gave before every test, he began walking around the class handing out the tests and came to my table last, he handed one to Draco and then to me, I looked up at him as he handed it over and smiled saying thank you, he just nodded and looked to have given and very small smirk, as if to say "Good luck" I took a deep breath and began on the test. It was 100 questions which was no surprise since we have a 2 hour class period for potions. 40 minutes had gone by and I was on question 36, which wasn't very good, as Draco was on 49. I needed to pick up the pace if I wanted to finish in time. An hour and a half had now passed and several kids had already finished, I was feeling pretty good so far and was on question 70 something, feeling like I was losing my mind at all the words on the page. Before I knew it Draco was getting up and turning his in. I was almost done, only 5 questions left and 15 minutes left. When I finished there were only three kids still working on theirs, I looked up at Snape who was going over essays and he looked up at me. We made eye contact and I quickly looked back at my test, checking over all my answers. I let out a breath and cracked my knuckles as I stood and slowly walked up to Snape, "All done" I said nervously handing it to him, he looked up and took it from me, and his fingertips brushed mine very softly and quickly as he took it from me, and as soon as he did, out of fear and embarrassment, I snatched my hand away and smiled awkwardly, walking back to my table and putting my head down. I dozed off for the last 10 minutes of class, awakening to Draco shoving me telling me it was time to leave, I sat up and saw most of the class had left.
   I grabbed my stuff and we went for the door, "Actually, Ms. L/n may I speak to you." I froze scared it was about the hand thing, or maybe the Dumbledore thing this morning. I shooed off Draco saying I'd catch up and walked over to stand next to Snape's desk. He stood up and I followed him with my eyes, keeping eye contact to get any sense of what this was about. "I went ahead and decided to grade your test as soon as you turned it in." He said in his usual tone, not giving me any clue as to what I got. Making the suspense and tension build more. "Oh gosh. It's bad isn't it? I failed, didn't i? Oh merlin Professor im so sor-" I began to ramble when he didn't speak but he cut me off, "Y/n calm down." He said and I could feel a slight blush at the use of my first name. He handed me my test and I kept my eyes on his not looking down at it yet. "Wooo ok I can do this" I said giggling a bit, I looked down and my eyes went wide. Written in red ink and circled at the top was a 92. A fucking. 92. I looked back up at him and my jaw dropped. "OH MY GOSH I DID IT!" I practically screamed, jumping up and hugging the paper. "I can't believe I passed and with a 92 this is the happiest moment of my life!" I said smiling up at him.
In fit of adrenaline and serotonin overdose I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He went stiff and I realized what I was doing and quickly threw myself off. "Oh my I'm so sorry Sir, that was so inappropriate, I was just so happy" I said blushing hard and feeling a very strong nervous tingle, which it was I decided to call them, and looked up at him. "It's quite alright Y/n, I'm very proud of you, you worked hard and it paid off, good job." He said with a very small, but visible smile. I smiled big back at him and gestured to him, "I got you to smile too! This is amazing!" I said giggling. "Alright alright enjoy it while it lasted because that's the first and last time you'll see it." he said back in his normal tone and sat back down in his chair. We went silent for a moment as I just stared at my test. "I'm gonna frame this" I joked to which he just looked up at me and smirked a bit. "I cant thank you enough Professor, If you hadn't helped me and stayed up all night tutoring me, I would have been seeing another 50" I said with a calmer and genuine tone. "Of course, Ms-...Y/n, Im proud." he said and I put my head down to hide the blush, I felt rush to my cheeks at the sound of him saying my name, this was getting out of hand. "Ok well, I will see you in tutoring tomorrow. Goodbye Severus." I said with a sarcastic grin and walking out of the class before he could scold me for the use of his first name.
   I walked out of the school to the yard and sat in front of the tree that overlooked the lake. I closed my eyes and took in the fresh air listening to the quiet sound of the lake's water. I looked down at my test paper and smiled, he told me good job and I felt so proud to have pleased him, thinking of the potions professor and how he was such a different man to me now than he was when we first met, he was still his normal self 90% of the time, but he would let the kindness shine through every now and again when I would talk with him. I can't believe I hugged him, I thought. He felt warm for such a cold man, and he smelt nice, like parchment and firewhiskey. That smell would forever be burned in my head. And he smiled and it lit up my dark world for that fraction of a second. Looking in his dark eyes as he was truly proud of me, made my heart beat faster, he was so...beautiful to me, despite what others thought of him, he was an amazing man. I felt the nervous tingle again, only this one lingered on. I leaned my head back on the tree and felt a single tear slid down my face. I let out a breath and opened my eyes wiping it away quickly, and grew scared for a moment. I wasn't sure if it was a tear of joy, or a tear or worry, for I had just begun to realize, the nervous tingle I felt around him was butterflies, the ones Hermione had told me about, and the feelings I had, were for my Potions Professor.
34 notes · View notes
rydeszegras · 4 years ago
Text
get lost in wonderland - m.boldy
Tumblr media
hey guys !! this is the first fic of my wonder series, im not sure if its gonna be any good as im still new to this whole writing thing and im not that good at it yet. (feel leave me some tips if you dont mind !!) but i hope you enjoy !
boldy x reader
inspo: intro - shawn mendes
wc: 1,088
warnings: nothing bad, just a whole lotta fluff :))
it was a chilly saturday morning in boston and you were cuddled up on your couch drinking your coffee and watching your favorite christmas movie when you recieved a text from your best friend, matt. matt had been your best friend since as long as you can remember, you both grew up together in millis and were inseparable since the day you met. it was tough for you guys to go to separate schools for the first time in your life, but bu and bc were only 10 mins apart so it was easy to make do with.
at around 10:30 you had just gotten out of the shower and were drying your hair when you recieved a text from your best friend
-
matthew boldy:)
10:32am - hey im picking you up at 11:15 be ready
you
10:32am - where are we going?
matthew boldy:)
10:34am - you’ll see, just be ready to go and make sure to dress warm;)
-
okay, you thought, so its gonna be outside, so you prepared yourself to get ready for the day. you slipped on your favorite pair of lulus, some fuzzy socks, and then threw on the bc hoodie that matt had given you the last time you hung out. nobody knew this, at least you thought, but you had been in love with matt for as long as you could remember but knew he could never feel the same way. you werent the skinniest and you werent blonde which you were okay with, but you knew wasnt the type of girl that matt liked.
eventually 11:15 rolled around and matt showed up right on time knocking at your door, you threw on your patagonia parka and slipped on your ccm hat before letting matt in. as you opened the door, you saw matt standing there with the biggest bouquet of yellow roses you had ever seen wearing the biggest smile in the world, one youve never ever seen before
“hey beautiful are you ready to go?” matt says while handing you the bouquet of flowers. you nod your head with a smile as you grabbed the bouquet and placed them in the vase sitting on the counter. it wasnt abnormal for him to call you beautiful, it was something he said to you that you figured meant nothing and you brushed it off as usual. the only difference was the flowers he gave you, matt wasnt really one for sappy stuff, but you assumed he was just being nice as he knew you had a rough week.
matt had told you he had four special spots for you that day and it was a quick 5 minute drive to spot number one, caffè nero, which was your favorite coffee shop. “you can order whatever you want gorgeous, im paying.”
gorgeous? did he just call me gorgeous? you thought to yourself, beautiful was one thing, but gorgeous? you hadnt heard that one before, but you brushed it off as always and headed to the counter to place your order.
“hi can i get a y/f/d and a y/f/f please?” the cashier nods their head and you go to pick a table a few minutes before your order was ready. when they called your name matt quickly beat you up to go get your food.
when matt returned to he table you knew you had to ask him some questions. “so matt what is all this about, this isnt like you.” you said. “well i feel like youve been down lately so i thought you deserved to have a special day with some of your favorite things” matt replied while you responded with a soft smile before sipping your drink.
after you finished your food you headed out to the car and drove another 12 minutes to the boston harborwalk, the harborwalk was your favorite place in the winter, especially when it was snowing. matt knew this and it was his favorite place in the world too because he loved seeing your smile everytime you watched the snow fall, or when you saw the puppies run by, and even when you smiled the 500x matt almost slipped, walking a little bit further you reached stop number 3.
yankee lobster. an unnecessarily expensive amazing food place, and once again matt wouldnt let you pay. you spent at least three hours there discussing everything about your lives and eating your all you can eat lobster plates and it was incredible, you sat against the window and watched the snow fall while you just stared at his gorgeous blue eyes paying little attention to anything he was actually saying.
eventually you both finished your food and were off to the next location. now this location wasn’t necessarily your favorite location in the world, but it was matts and he was destined to make it your favorite place too. matt didnt know how this was gonna go, in all honesty this stop made him more nervous than he had ever been. you were slightly confused as you pulled into the parking lot of the conte forum, but matt didnt let you ask any questions as he grabbed your hand as you approached the entrance of the arena looking back at you and smiling.
you approached an awkward set of stairs that lead you up to the rafters. “this isnt the prettiest place in the world but its definitely my favorite place, being able to look over at the rink and see every little aspect of it is amazing and i needed to share it with my favorite girl in the world” he said, and you smiled in response not knowing where he was going with this. “y/n i know you dont feel the same but i cant keep going without you knowing the truth. ive been in love with you since as long as i can remember and i cant keep holding it in any longer.”
wow. did he just say that. hes really. there is no way
“are you serious?” you asked as matt responded,“more than anything ive ever been serious about before.” you hesitated at first, but knew he was serious and there was nothing standing in your way. “i love you too matthew boldy, more than anything in the world,” and it took absolutely no time for matt to pull you into the most hearfelt kiss you had ever recieved.
“this is my wonderland y/n” matt said pulling back slightly with a smile, “and theres nobody id rather get lost in it with.”
63 notes · View notes
dracoismypatronus · 4 years ago
Text
Magic Inside PT 2
Tumblr media
Summary: where the reader, has spent all her life living in the muggle world going from foster home to foster home since she’s never met her parents, but she’s aware of her magic abilities she knows that she’s special and that she can do unusual things. She will eventually be discovered and be sent to Hogwarts and find love.
(knowing my hoe ass self its probably going to be Draco x YN, but I’ll make it interesting don't worry, leave your comments and send messages)
PART 1
On my way back home, the idea of being inside Pascal’s mind wouldn’t leave my head, how was that possible? It wasn’t the first time I ever did this, but it had never happened like this, so loud, and with a full sentence, normally it was just a few random words that I can’t quite put together.
I.. I don’t know what’s going on, but every time it happens I can’t help but to think about my past, my parents, my origins, does it have something to do with them? Is there something more to me than a child roaming the system trying to find a functional loving family? I knew that my parents were long gone, they for sure left me or were some dead junkies on the street, I don’t blame them, the world sucks, I too would do anything to numb the pain and to escape reality.. So if you’re out there mom and dad, I guess I forgive you, for dumping me. But anyways, I arrive at the Oswald’s home and the first thing that im greeted is with Mr. Oswald’s resentful stare as if just by seeing me his day just got ruined, he rolls his eyes. He rolls his eyes as I enter the kitchen.
-What took you so long? - I hear Mrs. Oswald’s sharp voice coming from the living room and she made her way to join us in the kitchen - the kids are starving, come on hurry up, make the breakfast, we don’t got all day - she said with her sharp Italian accent, while fixing up her fried blonde curls that get fixed one every two weeks at the salon, since she works there she gets a discount.
-I’m late for work- says Mr. Oswald as he puts down his coffee mug thats what he had for breakfast everyday.
-work? On a weekend? You never work on weekends specially Sunday’s - says Mrs. Oswald
-A new …
-Oh it doesn’t matter you’re such a hard worker, you go my love- she says giving him a kiss of goodbye.
*Don’t you dare read his mind, thats his private business, stay away!*
I finish making breakfast and call my little brothers and sister for breakfast, I end up not eating so they can have more food and just end up making some tea for myself and head up to my room.
The rain has intensified now, I see from the window of my room Mr. Oswald getting in his company car and heading into work… or maybe seeing his lover… quiet, he would never, right?! Anyways, as I take a few sips of my tea, I receive a text from my best friend Rena:
-Witch HandNow. See u in 10 x <3
Rena and I had been best friends since I was 10, I had been lucky to know her because she was put alo for adoption but luckily she was adopted by a rich couple, but thankfully they kept her in the same school as I did, so we have been inseparable ever since. Rena had dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes. Now, witch hand, was our spot, where we would sneak out to smoke and drink and to listen to music, and to give each other tattoos, we called it Witch Hand because it was inside a fores near a park for children, beside a tree, where the tree branches look like giant creepy hands.
As I go downstairs, and bid my goodbye
-And where do you think you’re going? -Says Mrs. Oswald
-I’m going to see Rena
-The rich girl, the one who got adopted?
-yes
-And who do you think will stay with the kids? I have friends over this evening
-can’t you get a nanny? Here I’ll give you the money - I say as I take a 50 Dollar Bill and hand it to her
-Since when do you have this amount of money? Actually since when do you have money?
-I sold some of my drawing at school
-who would buy that
-well they did
Mrs.Oswald took the bill from my hand and put it on her wallet, im not paying anyone to look after the kids when I have you
Before I could start a fight about my now stolen money, my phone starts ringing.
-Hello?
-Hii! Its raining loads, want me to pick you up? Actually don’t answer that, I’m already getting my car.
-Rena I have to take care of my brothers and sisters…
-Oh… I’ll finesse Miss Lucia Oswald don’t worry.
*hangs up*
ok I’ll stay with them
I go back to my room and wait for Rena.
10 minutes go by and the front door rings, I hear Mrs.Oswald Opening the door, and just wait for Rena by the stairs.
-Hi Miss Lucia
-Oh Hi Rena, so Nice to see you, I didnt know you were coming, I love what you’re wearing, what’s that? Prada?
-yes! And I’ve brought a gift just for you, this bracelet, I saw it, and I just had to get it, its just your face, and it was sooooo expensive, just for an expensive lady - Rena laughs in the most fake way possible and I try my best not to laugh.
-Oh but thank you so much!
-So I was wondering Miss Lucia if Y/N and I could go out just for a minute or two it won’t be long she will be back just in time to help with her brothers and sisters.
-oh but of course - she said, I could feel her gushing over the bracelet, and the thoughts of showing her friends the bracelet later, and how she bought it herself and how she is better than them now.
-Thank you so much!
-Y/N RENA IS HERE- Mrs. Oswald screamed happily.
24 notes · View notes
stellarrmoon · 5 years ago
Text
Eternally.
"Wanna do something crazy?"
Tags: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, cunnilingus, fellatio, dirty talk, teasing, dom!kuroo, sub!reader, kurooxfemaleoc, virgin!reader
_________
It started out as a couple of friends having a late night drive. With him in the passenger seat and me on the edge of the boot, feeling the wind blow into my face as the driver drove down the empty highway. The radio blasted some 10s hits, making me feel like I was in some sort of coming-of-age movie. I noticed him tapping his finger to the beat of the song and smiled.  
After about 15 minutes of aimless driving we decided to go on a MacDonald's run. At the drive-thru it started getting a little cold and I grabbed a jacket behind the driver's seat, awaiting my fries and McFlurry.
"Hey, y/n, are you sure that'll be enough?"
Kuroo, my long-time friend who didn't even know about my feelings for him, asked me.
"I'll be fine, K." I rolled my eyes, smiling internally because he was worried about me. Our friend, Kenma, paid for us and we drove to the beach, where we made our own little space in the soft sand, and sat over a blanket Kenma had laying in his boot.
As we watched the waves quietly crash into each other, I asked, "Do you guys ever wonder what it's like to fall in love?", when in fact, I knew exactly what it felt like.
They were silent for a while, shoving their burgers down their throats, thinking about the question. Kenma gave a simple "Nope." while Kuroo seemed to be in deep thought about it.
"Yeah, I've wondered about it before." He looked up the stars, the moonlight hitting his face, perfectly highlighting my favourite features about him. "I think being in love is meant to be a process. You get to understand that person like they were you through another lense... someone who gets you without even trying. And the process makes you feel complete. Because no one can go through life alone, so that person completes the journey. It's like, it was just meant to be."
It was silent again. I pondered on his words, surprised that he said exactly what I was thinking. As I was about to say something, Kenma sighed. "Well, things just got deep here and I'm not in the mood to get in my feelings so I take it as a sign that we can leave now." He said as he stood up.
"I kinda wanna stay a bit longer."
Kuroo and I said at the same time. I chuckled silently. Kenma looked at us blankly and I could tell he was annoyed and wanted to get back into his warm bed.
"It's cool, we can uber back to my house and I'll drive her back home tomorrow morning." Kuroo suggested, "Go home, dude."
Kenma smiled with thanks and left us alone, taking the trash with him. Now that it was just two, it seemed a bit more intimate. "Aren't the stars beautiful?" I asked.
He hummed in agreement, "the view's much better from down here."
I looked to my side to see that he'd laid down on his back. One of his hands supported his head and I noticed the goosebumps on his bare arms. "Shit, aren't you cold?"
"Well, you took my jacket so I didn't really have anything to keep warm now, did I?" He smiled at me.
My eyes widened and I looked at the jacket, confirming how familiar it looked and I tried to take it off but his hand stopped me.
"Don't worry about it. Lay down with me, instead."
I complied, staring into the sky and found myself agreeing with him, "The view is much better from down here."
"I dont know why you'd doubt me."
My lips curled up, feeling him roll his eyes. We started talking about nothing and something at the same time. Going on about conspiracy theories and what else could be out in space. He was convinced that there were parallel universes and that in at least one of them, we were in the exact situation as now except he was a girl and I was a guy.
"What the fuck, Kuroo?" I snorted at how he sounded so convinced. Things felt so natural with him. We were almost always laughing and he made me feel like I was invincible.
"Hey," he called me. I turned my head left to face him, "you wanna do something crazy?"
"Always."
With a mischievous grin he suggested, "Let's go ski-"
"-nny dipping." We smiled at each other as I finished his sentance and got up together, stripping down to nothing. I tried not to look at him while I put my dress, panties and his jacket on the blanket while he just tossed his shirt and shorts on the sand. He was faster than me as we ran to the water, me holding my tits so they didnt flail as I got closer and as soon as we entered, I squealed.
It was so cold. I was in the middle on getting into my tippy toes when I felt myself going under the water. That son of a bitch dunked me. As soon as I got up, I saw him trying to swim away but I caught up and gave him a taste of his own medicine. I didn't even think of what would happen when he got back up, which consisted of him getting an eyeful of my naked chest while we stood 5 inches from each other.
He wouldn't stop looking and I couldn't move. His wet hair stuck to his face and I was lost in how beautiful he looked with water dripping down his face. "Um..."
Kuroo seemed to be at a loss for words. Meanwhile I was weighing my options in my head, thinking that this was my chance to get something out of my huge crush. "Fuck it."
With those words, I closed the gap between us; my boobs were flush against his chest and his hands instinctively held my waist. "Y/n..."
I looked at his pink lips and he looked at my plump ones, "Should I do everything for you?"
"Do what?" He said, calmly.
I didnt answer, instead took a leap of faith and planted my mouth on his. He immediately started moving his with mine, his grip on me tightening the more control he took of the kiss.
It's like he was slowly turning aggressive, with the way he placed my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. He was enjoying it more than me it seemed, because he suddenly moaned into my mouth. I suddenly pulled away, and laughed but it turned into a purr when he latched his lips onto my neck.
It wasn't long before I felt a rod-like object resting against what would be the space between my ass cheeks if it wasn't so big. I gasped because while I hadn't seen it, I was sure it was his dick. When he dug his nails into my ass, I let out a whimper, involuntarily pulling on his hair and arching my back.
The water around us softly waned around us as we continued making out in the moonlight. He bit my bottom lip before sucking on it, shocking me a bit because of the new experience.
While I had had my first kiss, I was still a inexperience in many ways. The way he held me was new but it was so addicting that I got lost in his arms. I savoured the feeling of him against me, but started feeling feeling the cold a bit more when I realised he was walking us out of the water.
I rested my head on his shoulder as he carried me to our blanket until he finally laid me down. He leaned over me, locking his brown eyes with mine and just staring.
"What?"
"What does this mean?"
I looked away. Even I didn't know.
"Do you have feelings for me?"
Meekly I replied, "Yes."
The song we both recognized as Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood played in the distance, probably from a pub that was still open at the nearby mall.
"Look at me." I did it without question. My eyes were brimming with tears as I looked at him. "How long?"
"A few months now."
He let out a heavy breath before smiling softly. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
I rolled my eyes, "So you can reject me."
"Except I wouldn't reject you."
Did that mean...
"I like you too, Y/n."
I couldn't really believe what I was hearing, purely because I'd convinced myself that he'd never feel the same way about me emotionally. But right now, I was a puddle down there and I needed to feel something else more. "Can we have this conversation tomorrow?"
I'm sure the list in my eyes was obvious as I trailed them down to finally land on his lower appendage. My eyes nearly fell out of my eyes because I never imagined him to have so much... meat on him. I was still a virgin but something in me yearned for it to be inside me.
Without warning, he started kissing on my body. My neck, my collarbone, my breasts and the area below them. On his journey, he left markers of where he stopped, teasing me every now and then when he'd stay at one place for too long. The biggest torture was when he got to my thighs.
The man kissed up and down my inner thighs, going up one, across my pelvis, to the other, making sure to skip the part I needed to feel his lips most. Whining, I lifted my hips, to which he quickly pushed them down. "Patience, babygirl."
With that, he spent a bit more time on the area close to my vulva. He licked up the line where my thigh met my pelvis and repeated the action on the other side, making me suddenly grab the top of his head. He looked at me with a smile and chuckled at my eagerness.
He ran his index and middle finger softly down my pussy lips, getting a bit of my wetness stuck to him. My pussy noticeably pulsed which seemed to entice him because he licked his lips.
"Please, Kuroo."
With a smirk, he separated my folds and run a finger up my slit, finally getting to my clit. At the first touch, I gasped; the feeling was so different from my own hand. He started rolling the nub around, very slowly which pleased and annoyed me at the same time. He knew what he was doing and he knew it well but it made me needier. When he took his finger away, I started complaining but he shut me up by putting his mouth around it.
"_Oh_ ..." I couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped my lips, not with this man's tongue putting just the right pressure onto my clit.
While he did so, he spread my folds again and teased my entrance, circling it and feeling it pulse against his already sticky fingers. Without wasting another moment, he plunged a finger into me and as he did, lay his tongue flat against my clit. I felt his finger rotate inside me before he curled it and hit my g-spot.
"Ah, fuck." My moans from then on became more frequent, he got more intense with his tongue and fingers and i could tell he enjoyed it. He switched to lapping his tongue on my entrance before inserted it into my heat. I was so wet that I could feel my juices stuck between my ass cheeks, and I was sure they were on his gave too.
"You gonna cum for me, baby girl?" He said against me. I only purred in response.
I kept my hand in his hair as he continued his work, feeling something pull in my lower belly as time went on. As he pumped faster nd sucked at just the right pressure, my back arched fully off the blanket. I threw my head back as I felt it coming.
"Oh my God, Kuroo, please!"
It wasn't too long until I finally came. The feeling washed over me like a tsunami, suddenly feeling a huge release from my pussy as it tightened. While I shook, he held my legs over his shoulder and kept eating me out, letting whatever squeezed out of me, enter his mouth as if it were his last meal.
While he did that, I kept switching between saying his name and cursing until I couldnt formulate coherent words anymore. Once he started to slow down, my high started going away. I calmed down as his head finally emerged from between my thighs and he looked at me with devilish eyes.
His lips glistened with my essence and I took a mental photograph of the picture in front of me. I had never experienced anything like that, not even by my own hand; and it was euphoria.
As soon as he was directly over me, I flipped us over and ran my hand down his torso. He licked his lips as I started marking my territory on his body. His light skin made it easier for me, but I didn't notice just how much I'd bruised him until after a few minutes. I kissed down his body until I got to his (hard) cock.
My heart wanted to jump out of my chest, but my lust calmed my nerves; even though I'd never done this before. On my knees, and back arched, face to crotch with him, I tried to remember all the tips and tricks I'd gotten from my friends who had done this before me and decided to go for it.
Slowly, I licked the underside of his shaft from the base and slid it up to the tip, where I wrapped my lips around it and looked him in the eye as I took in as much of his dick as I could. About 2 inches were left but I wasnt ready to deep throat him yet. Instead, I memorised his expression when I pulled back. As I sucked, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he took in a deep breath.
I smiled mentally, and let the saliva connecting my lips to his tip drip onto my hand. With all the bravery I could muster, I started jerking him off. My hand moved up and down, barely fitting around his girth, but it didn't matter because I could tell the slippery feeling of my fingers around his saliva-coated penis drove him crazy.
"Stop teasing, y/n." He groaned.
Granting his wish, I started doing the real work - going down on him again and with the few inches outside my mouth, I satisfied with my hands. I couldn't really believe how hard he was in my mouth but when my tongue swirled around him and I felt it twitch, I knew I was doing something right.
"Fuck, I've got the perfect view of you right now." He proceeded to tell me how seeing my ass up and back arched with my head bopping up and down was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen.
With his hand in my hair, he guided my movements until I took a break from blowing him and bit my lip while I used my hands - one playing with his balls and the other moving up and down his shaft. Deciding to tease him again, I circled my thumb around his tip and smiled when he moaned. "Is that so, Daddy?"
"What did I say, y/n?"
I giggled before going back to sucking. I could feel him getting close, with the way he was bucking his hips every now and then. I worked on him for a few more moments until he pulled my head back, just in time for his cum to spurt onto my face.
"Shit."
I slowly opened my eyes, feeling the cum on my nose, cheeks, lips and even some on my eyelashes. He looked worried that he came on my face but I reassured him with a smile and licked his essence off my lips.
While he calmed down, I wiped my face and sat back up. I looked at his dick again and it was still hard. "Wow." I breathed.
"Sorry." He apologised, looking at me thinking deeply. "You're thinking about it..."
I innocently nodded my head, weighing my options. Was I ready to lose my virginity? To him, especially? My gut was telling me that tonight was the night and no one else was better than the boy I felt for.
"We don't hav-"
"Fuck me." I blurted out. "Wait no, I..."
Instead of finishing my sentance, I straddled him, his dick directly against my slit. "Are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure about anything else in my life. I want to do this with you, Kuroo."
He lifted his hips, grinding his shaft against me to signal that he was eager. I took his dick into my hand and lined it up with my wet pussy. My juices basically dripped onto his pelvis as I lowered myself on him. It felt tight with just the tip in; my years of finger-fucking myself couldnt help me now.
One thing that kept me going was his sound of enjoyment as I tried taking more of him in. I did it little by little, going up and down, taking more and more with each subtle bounce. Finally, I had over half of him inside me and it was uncomfortable but the more I moved my hips, the more I was washed over by a wave of pleasure. He, himself gripped my hips to guide me and trusted upward as well.
As he did that, he hit the perfect spot for me to cry our. I started grinding faster, my boobs bouncing in his face, tempting him to take one of my nipples into his mouth and play with the other one with his hand.
"This feels so good, Daddy."
"Does it, princess? My dick's making you feel good?"
"Uh-huh." I threw my head back, my pussy pulsating around his length and my mouth letting out the most lewd sounds.
He played with my clit, adding to the pleasure and earning a single tear running down my face. Pulling my head into his neck, he lowly said, "You look so sexy when you cry for me, baby."
Without warning, I came on him. My body spasmed while he held me and my legs turned to jelly. I couldnt stop saying his name while I went through the phases of pure satisfaction.
He flipped us over and pulled his dick out of me, kissing my mouth to swallow my moans. He didn't wait for me to relax and just started to pound into me. "I love being in this pussy. What do you think, princess? You like the way I'm fucking you? The way I'm hitting every corner of your pussy?"
My legs were suddenly over his shoulders and my Lord, did it feel amazing. It was like he was burying himself deeper into me, and I couldn't complain. It wasnt long before I felt a familiar tightness in my belly. The only difference was that this time, it was like the one day I let out a stream of water-like liquid and wet my sheets.
Impatient, Kuroo bit my neck and demanded me to respond. "Answer me, princess."
"Yes Daddy, I do."
He just kept fucking deeper and better that I had to cum for another time. Except now, he kept thrusting and it triggered me to release the big knot that I was trying to hold in. I guessed that when I came, the tightness of my pussy made his cum inside me too, because he suddenly stopped, letting the ejaculate coming out of me simultaneously spray onto his torso and face.
I squirted. All over him. But I didn't have time to think about it because of how lost I was in pleasure. He had bottomed out by now, just holding me as my legs shook over his shoulders for a few more minutes.
We were both breathing heavily, staring at the stars after he pulled out and lay beside me.
"I..." He started.
"Thank you." I finished.
124 notes · View notes
bucky-iss-bae · 5 years ago
Text
The Perfect Man (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
A/N: This... this probably isnt my best work. I lost my job this morning. I’m feeling like shit. I started to worry about everything and it’s been a bad fucking day. Feel lonely and lost so pls just pray for ya girl xoxo 
This I started to write and didnt stop.I just typed and typed. I didnt even know what I was writing, it probably makes no sense. 
I hope you do enjoy - Sorry for the mistakes and confusion bc ya girl is ready to cry herself to sleep xoxo 
(Side note - I’ve now got time to write lmao)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 
Fandom: MCU/Marvel
Summary: Reader has a bad day and Bucky fixes it. 
Warnings: Brief mentions of Anxiety, some angst. But also fluff xoxo 
Word count: 1600
Masterlist Fandom List
Tumblr media
Everyone has bad days, they’re inevitable. Days where you want to curl up in a ball and cry, listen to that sad song playlist on Spotify and ignore the world. Ignore everything around you, quiet down the stress and anxiety that’s going on in your head, and try, try, to relax. It never happens though.
Instead life comes at you at 120mph, you’re constantly working towards deadlines constantly working towards trying to get the job done, and never leaving any time for yourself.
When you had days like this, Bucky knew. He could sense it in the way you messaged him. From the moment you replied to his good morning text (because god forbid you be up at the hour that man is), and although he’s always acting like a grandpa with technology, the way your own nana does, he understood it, but maybe a bit better.
He could sense the lack of enthusiasm in your text messages, the way you used your words were different than usual. Bucky knew you had days like this, everyone has days like this. Bucky sometimes has days like this. But the difference between the two is, Bucky has access to a therapist whenever he likes, Bucky went through something traumatic, his whole life being a trauma. Instead now, you’re his happy place. The place where he feels safe, where his mind can relax, where he feels at ease.
Luckily for you, you were the same. You knew that the only thing better than curled up in a ball crying, listening to sad music would be if Bucky were to hold you in his arms. Doing this could keep the tears at bay, but that heavy feeling sat on your chest, it could be ever so slietly lifted while curled up against Bucky, and then you know as the day goes on, the night goes on, it’s like that heavy lift is completely gone just by him being there, by him making you happy, keeping you safe.
Today was a bad day, Bucky knew it, the same way he always did. Although it was rare for you in comparison to him, he still caught on quickly.
He left for his run at 4am with Steve and Sam, got back in at half 6. He sent you a message, and usually you were halfway through rushing and getting ready for work. Being an elementary teacher meant you had to be at school for 7 or half 7 most days to feel organized.
That meant waking up at about half 5 or 6am, meaning while on your way to work, you could have a quick chat with Bucky before teaching 30 little rascals, all of which held a special place in your heart no matter how stressful the day could be.
But this morning, he knew something was up, you usually replied within about 5 minutes, it was routine for the two of you, as soon as he got out of the shower, he would call you, and you would be with your coffee, ready to go.
But he finally got a message long after his shower,
‘Running late, talk later’
The simplicity of the text was something he stared at, the compared it to other messages, Bucky was scared he had done something wrong, the night before he might’ve said an off-handed comment that annoyed you. But then he couldn’t think of anything, you always put a small emoji at the end of your messages, or at the end of conversations, which this definitely was. Or when you’ve ran late in the past, it’s been a voice note, or something else.
He had a funny feeling, and he knew today, despite it being Friday, would be a long day for you.
He knew you would be home for about 5pm, so he had until then to make sure everything would be perfect, everything would be exactly as you want it to make you feel safe and happy, and to help you through a day that would essentially be the worst.
The two of you had been in a relationship for a while now, long enough for him to often stay at your apartment, or for him to be comfortable enough there by himself.
He started of making sure he had all the ingredients for your favorite food, it was a must, he also made sure that he had some flowers, chocolates, and a few of your other favorite treats there as well, which may or may not be a bottle of wine.
He set the presents aside before getting started on everything else. Your apartment was already so tidy so he didn’t need to make many changes, instead he set up a little fort, something that he used to do with his sisters. Building forts out of whatever they could find.
He added a few fairy lights and had bought some scented candles that had already been lit around the room. He also added a few face masks that he would be hoping to use tonight.
After organizing everything he moved onto the cooking. When his mama raised him alongside his sisters, he knew the basics of cooking way back when, but now it was entirely different. Now he had Sam teaching him the same way his own mom used to. Sam gave him spice and flavor, what works and what doesn’t for so many meals. He made sure to incorporate all of this now.
It had been a strangely long day, one full of anticipation, hoping he hadn’t over stepped, he got Sam to grab some cupcakes from your favorite bakery, setting them aside with the rest of your gifts.
He made sure that he looked presentable for the time you were due to arrive home, not forgetting the bath salts and candles in the bathroom ready for your arrival.
Bucky heard the click in the door and his heart rate went right up, he saw you enter. He saw how tired you looked from your face, the bags that meant your sleep wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, and maybe your day. He saw the usual light that surrounded you dimmed down, despite Bucky Believing you look at beautiful as ever, he knew that today had been a mentally rough day.
Your bags dropped when you entered the apartment, gasping as you looked around. You could smell the fresh warm candles, the strong smell of food, everything felt like home, what you just wanted to come home to, all day and every day.
You eyes landed on Bucky stood there looking nervous, he was wearing the comfiest clothes imaginable, gray sweats, and a fitted t-shirt. It made your heart melt as tears started to stream down your face. Overwhelmed with the love he showed for you.
“Bucky” you whimpered, you had felt bad in the morning, when you had less than 10 minutes to get ready, and you sent Bucky an incredibly blunt message. You had felt bad all day, but it had been such a difficult day for you to get through. But looking at this man in front of you, he knew you too well.
“What’s all this?” you whispered out through your tears,
“This… is to show you how much I love you Y/N. To show you that I love you just as much on the bad days, as I do good days. To show you that I will be by your side forever. That you don’t need to worry, and that I am here for you sweetheart. Always”
You couldn’t help the sobs as you cried into his chest. He held you and moved you to your bedroom, he held you and let you cry until you had gotten it all out of your system, you sat there red, tear stained face as he ran the bath for you, letting you choose your favorite bath crystals and bubbles you wanted to put in.
He sat and massaged your scalp, letting the stress of the day go by, giving you a glass of wine whilst in the tub.
Once you were dry, and in the comfiest clothes you own, Bucky carried you to the living room, the two of you sat in the fort he had built, and that you loved and sat eating your favorite meal,
“This is amazing Buck, I love it. I love you. Thank you so much” you whispered giving him a kiss,
The two of you were spending time in one another’s arms, watching films that made you laugh and cry, eating the food he made, the cakes he requested. You knew Bucky was the man for you.
“Sorry about this morning” you murmured, your head resting on his chest,
Bucky shook his head, “Don’t worry about it sweetheart. I know what it’s like. You’re allowed to be like that, I just hope that I can somehow make you feel better”
“I feel like the happiest person on the planet. I… was having a bad day, to them realize that my incredible man, spent the day making sure I had the best evening possible. Thank you, Buck,”
“Anytime sweetheart. I just hope you know that you are always safe with me, no matter how you feel”
Bucky really was a man unlike any other. He held you, made you feel happy, safe, and got you giggling like the morning had never existed. Bucky took away your fears, he mellowed the anxiety, and lifted that heavy feeling on your chest, he made you light again, he made all your pointless worries disappear because being in the right frame of mind, and having the right company can make all the bad disappear.
A/N: Again sorry for how bad this is, it just it’s been a really bad day for me. I just don’t even know what I was writing I just ughhhhh I wanna cry and cry and cry xoxo 
129 notes · View notes
uwu-boll · 4 years ago
Text
Yesterday I consumed nearly 4 grams of mushrooms. Here is what that was like for me:
First, this isnt my first rodeo. I've consumed psychedelics a few times before; I wouldnt call myself necessarily experienced but I have an education background in psychopharmacology and I have a couple of trips under my belt already so I knew what to expect and how it was going to feel going into it. 2 months ago. my girlfriend and I purchased 7 grams of mushrooms to split for our anniversary weekend this past week. We purchased a hotel room - I wanted to avoid doing this at home due to a very stressful living situation - and situated our setting so as to be best prepared to go about our experience. This included water, music, videogames, some snacks, etc. The necessities.
Our day started following a night of several shared margaritas and burgers between us. We went swimming, had coffee and a light breakfast, went to therapy together, and then a healthy midday lunch. Following that, we gathered the supplies for the night and settled in at around 3pm. Starting then, I measured out the dosages for the both of us; 2.75g for her, 3.87g for me (the dosages were more or less arbitrary, but we had a ballpark of what kind of experience we were looking for). She ate hers straight up, while I prepared a 'lemon tek'; powdered shrooms soaked in lemon juice for some time. There is some science behind it, but the idea is to shorten the duration or the experience while making it more intense. This also helps with digestion to prevent nausea, although there will still be some present as your body tries to 'reject' the chemical.
My shrooms sat in lemon juice for 20 mins before I tossed them all in orange juice for me to take big gulps of. Disclaimer - I HATE the taste, smell, texture, EVERYTHING about mushrooms. This... isnt necessarily better, but it's the best way to consume them short of capsules, I've found.
3:25 PM: I start drinking my pulpy orange juice - mushroom cocktail. It tastes like sour orange juice, because of the lemon juice I added, but the thought of the mushrooms in there makes me gag before I even get the concoction in my mouth. I can already tell this is going to be an endeavour. I take one big swig, maybe a fifth of the bottle, and approximately a quarter of the dose. I wait about 5 mins before taking another swig
3:35: one more swig, followed by a dab, hoping that the weed will calm my tummy. It does, but not before I nearly puke coughing up a lung
3:45: I finish the cocktail. This whole time I'm watching my girlfriend - who is approximately 15 minutes ahead of me having already dosed - set up the Nintendo switch and design a character on Tony Hawks Pro Skater, the remastered edition. She finishes, we take a dab, and we start playing. We, for some reason, start with a VS game, first to 500,000 points. I dont know why we thought that was a good idea, but we did. From here on, times are approximate.
Approximately 3:50: We are mindlessly skating in complete silence, absolute fixated in this game. I'm pretty high from the dabs as it is, so I'm spacing out and having trouble coordinating.
Approximately 4:00: I'm focused entirely on how gross my stomach feels having drank the cocktail. My body feels heavy, and it's very difficult to coordinate in the game properly.
Approximately 4:15: We are probably 100,000 points into this game before we both realize how long it's going to take before anyone wins. Were both kinda over it, and clearly struggling with performing and we only know it's going to get worse. As the come up begins, I feel a profound sense of anxiety. Recognizing it as the comeup anxiety, I dismiss it, but it's quickly becoming pretty overwhelming. The lemon tek, in shortening and intensifying the experience, creates very powerful come ups. We stop playing THPS and switch to Super Mario 3D World, which makes me feel better
Approximately 4:30: We get through 2 levels before we stop playing for the night. We decide to cuddle and try to calm each other down. We put on Bo Burnham's 'Inside' to listen to while we come up, which was a great idea because we love him. Really got us talking about our pasts and the meanings behind each of his songs. My body is very heavy, but I feel at absolute peace within it - I'm not biting my nails compulsively or shaking my legs - despite the come up anxiety and the slight nausea. I feel attached to the bed, I didnt want to get up even if I had to. I am absolutely CHEESIN, smiling so hard my cheeks still hurt a day later.
Approximately 4:45: I am staring at the wall, looking at what appears to be a pattern overlaying the texture of the wall. I see the same pattern on the bathroom floor. I'm questioning as to whether or not it's really there. I quickly move to the ceiling - a popcorn ceiling - where I am blown away; the lighting in the room makes the ceiling look both purple and green. My pareidolia is going crazy and I see constantly shifting patterns in the white noise that is the popcorn ceiling. The crazy thing is knowing that there is no pattern to the nonsense I am seeing, but making out patterns regardless. I stare at this for awhile. The ceiling is flowing like water.
The exact order of events henceforth are kind of a blur. We lay in bed for the rest of the night, but the topics of discussion vary from point to point, mostly us complimenting each other and praising each other. At some point, Inside ended, and we listened to Hamilton. However, I hardly remember both the end of Inside nor the entirety of Hamilton, and so it's likely that around d approximately 5 oclock, began the Great Existential Breakdown (TM)
At approximately 5 oclock, I was peaking. Emotions were running high, and, in response to being hungry, I had a breakdown because I hated the fact that I was born into a world dominated by cruelty, inhumanity, and the insatiable drive for profit. I hated that I lived in a world where something as simple as hunger was a problem, and that food - a human right - is commodified. I hated that consumption was obligatory, and that to feed the endless gluttony that is the human need to consume, we exploit both our fellow humans, and the planet. I hated that in that obligatory need to consume, weve facilitated this social climate in which it's okay to pollute our world and exploit the human labor condition so as long as its convenient to the consumer and profitable to the corporation. (Now that I think about it, this may have been spurned by Bo Burnhams 'That Funny Feeling', which I feel like is his most powerful song on the album. ) This quickly evolved into how being born, and forced into a world without your consent where conditions like this exist in the first place is inherently a violent act, and that having children is immoral until we create an environment where those conditions are obsolete. Then to how bullshit it is that I am forced to take care of a meatsuit for the whole of my life, but I have to pay to upkeep all of it as if i had some choice in the matter. This lead to me talking about how I wanted to be a transient observer of the universe, untethered to any physical point in space. Not quite dead, not quite alive - still able to see things happen, but not be able to participate. I then went on to say how I didnt think suicide was the answer to my problems because that doesnt necessarily get rid of the conditions that lead to my despair, but rather creates new problems for my loved ones. I knew that the key was to live in despite of the despair and to continue on in search of my own personal meaning.
This breakdown lasted approximately 3 hours and was very emotional for both of us. We spent a lot of time crying and talking about stuff weve never spoken about before. The comedown was very gentle and helped me feel very cathartic and relaxed. Over the course of the comedown I took several dabs, a few of which brought me back to 'The Wonky Space' (TM). However, this was short lived. My girlfriend sat in the tub naked from the waist down, which quickly turned into a bath, and from there, after my breakdown, we started to relax, watch some Shameless, went downstairs, got some snacks, some drinks, and went to bed.
Before I fell asleep, and once I knew the experience was 100% over, I took some time to reflect and felt very satisfied with what happened. It wasnt at all what I expected the night to be, but I felt like I needed to do that, and experience that kind of existential pain. I felt very relaxed once I got control of my body again, and that peace - the general sense of wellbeing, happiness, lack of anxiety, connectivity to my partner and my fellow man - has persisted well into the next day, and will likely continue for at least the next week. 10/10 would do again.
Would I say I had a bad trip? No. Was it a good one? N...no. but I had a great time, it was fun, and enlightening, and helped me realize where I feel like I am struggling mentally.
4 notes · View notes